#385: Mr. Manager

Speaker 1 Who isn't mine as really is a fucking idiot? He's very

Speaker 2 I'll ride you.

Speaker 1 I'll ride you? I'll ride you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll ride you.

Speaker 1 I probably need

Speaker 1 help, I guess. After someone, please help me.

Speaker 2 Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Speaker 1 Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave live from, well, not live, recorded from Shared Universe.

Speaker 1 We're doing a live stream tonight. If you're not on the live stream train, I don't know what to tell you, Walt.
I was to tell you. You got to get on it.
You got to get on it. You need a ticket?

Speaker 1 Q. Yo.
You're here. Get him.
Has a face full of cheeseburgers.

Speaker 1 Walt, I know how much you like to defend celebrities. I saw this and I thought of you.

Speaker 2 Some celebrities, not all. There are some that are undefendable.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Who would you say you wouldn't leap to their defense?

Speaker 1 There are some of those

Speaker 2 wannabe celebs that I. Are you talking about me?

Speaker 1 Go on.

Speaker 2 Kind of the celebs that just trade on just on being

Speaker 2 famous and more so

Speaker 1 having. Like a celebrity target.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 I wouldn't

Speaker 2 break a leg trying to

Speaker 2 get in front of

Speaker 2 some people who are bad-mouthing her. I probably would just kind of let it happen.

Speaker 1 Like Heidi and Spencer Pratt, you remember when they were a big thing years ago? No, no. They were like, I think they were on the OC or one of those shows.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Okay, good for you. You shouldn't know this kind of shit, nor should I.

Speaker 1 But the Kardashians Jenners, Walt.

Speaker 1 Years ago, when everyone became a model in that family, I said, how?

Speaker 1 How does this happen?

Speaker 2 I don't you don't think they're pretty enough, in your opinion.

Speaker 1 No, I think they're pretty enough, but why? Like,

Speaker 1 why are they being referred to as supermodels? Which is sort of like the next level up. I can't imagine.
Our own BQ has only banged regular models and pageant winners, not super models.

Speaker 2 Well, isn't a supermodel just how much money you bring in? Like, you get to that level of income?

Speaker 1 I forgot completely that I had sex with

Speaker 1 a pageant winner? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I jerk off to it constantly. You just said it, and the memory came came flooding back, and it was like I got to do it again.
Yeah? Yeah. Nice.
It was nice.

Speaker 1 I'm going to remind you every once in a while.

Speaker 1 You'll be playing a supermodel tonight.

Speaker 1 Put on this wig.

Speaker 1 I think it's.

Speaker 1 Ming, you're here too.

Speaker 1 Hello, everybody. And who knows better about Mike? He's got a picture of himself and Mike and Paulina Portzegova as I have.
Portskova, yes. Portscova.
I may remember. She got divorced.

Speaker 1 Quiet, get him.

Speaker 1 Supermodel.

Speaker 2 At one time, right? Or do you always retain supermodel status if you have it?

Speaker 3 I think so. It's kind of, you know, you call the president, you still call Mr.
President, right, afterwards.

Speaker 2 Even if they're like, you know, like.

Speaker 3 Not in office, yeah. You still call them Mr.
President.

Speaker 2 Like, even if they're like 90 and bedridden.

Speaker 2 They're like sewers and everything. They're still, that's a supermodel.

Speaker 1 They're 31, most of all.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 Like Bridget Bardot in her later years

Speaker 2 was not a supermodel.

Speaker 1 She was a supermodel, though.

Speaker 2 At one time, yes.

Speaker 1 But, I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 You don't call her Ms. Supermodel when she's on the wrong side of 80.
So you would say she was a supermodel. She was a supermodel.
I'm saying Kendall Jenner wasn't a supermodel.

Speaker 1 I'm saying, yeah, like, I didn't get the distinction as to why. Although she's very highly paid, so I don't know.
Like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Can you look it up, man? Can you help us define supermodel while I'm talking about this? Because Kendall Jenner,

Speaker 1 she said something that

Speaker 1 I don't believe I'll ever say anything that will rile the entire model community. Whoa.
And she went ahead and did it.

Speaker 1 She's 22.

Speaker 1 She made some comment that seemed disparaging to models, I guess. And I'm waiting for it to come up on the shared universe internet.

Speaker 1 That's wild. That is cool.
A famous and successful fashion model.

Speaker 1 That's pretty liberal with a definition, right? I mean, it's very loose. I mean, it's core, maybe, but

Speaker 1 yeah. I mean, otherwise.
Yeah, worldwide reputation.

Speaker 4 Often a background in hoot couture and commercial modeling.

Speaker 2 Can I ask a question?

Speaker 1 Remember on comic book, man, we wanted to get them to be a fashion model.

Speaker 1 We never shot the bit.

Speaker 4 I was hoping for that one to come through finally.

Speaker 1 That's away, Walt.

Speaker 2 You have an amazing studio here. I love some of the things that are on the walls.
Not everything.

Speaker 2 But that picture,

Speaker 2 that's an odd one because it's like, how long were you with her that you took a picture of her?

Speaker 2 And I don't think most people would recognize who it is at this point or ever, unless it was like, you know, Drive was at the height of MTV popularity.

Speaker 3 It's like 1983.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it is like you got such a limited wall space and you guys chose to put up the picture of you and Rick Okasich's wife. Yeah,

Speaker 2 was that you or Mike? It's me.

Speaker 1 I put it up there. That's definitely.
Yeah, yeah. I put it up there.

Speaker 3 I have a saucepan. I remember I had the Sports Illustrated 20th anniversary swim suit issue.

Speaker 3 Big fan of the drive video. Yeah, she was a big part of my life.

Speaker 2 I'm thinking

Speaker 2 you knocked that picture down. You could fit one more picture of Wonder Man up here.

Speaker 1 One picture of his family.

Speaker 1 That's a good point.

Speaker 3 You guys are represented in here.

Speaker 1 All over the place.

Speaker 3 You guys are over there from Comic Book Man. There's some Comic Band posters.
We need some IJ stuff in here. We need more BQ in here.

Speaker 1 oh it's all right don't worry no he's a wannabe we know it yeah uh so okay so supermodel i mean i guess she does fit sort of the she's very successful at it sure she's famous enough everyone knows who the fuck she is so maybe she is a supermodel but this is what she said i had a million jobs not only catwalks but everything else she was scaling back her catwalk uh

Speaker 1 the part that part a little bit the whole combination was very overwhelming and i started to freak out a little bit and needed to take a step back

Speaker 1 um and then she says,

Speaker 1 Where the fuck is it? Oh,

Speaker 1 maybe those girls need to pay their bills. That's why they're doing 30 shows.
And

Speaker 1 I think she came off as kind of entitled and pissy about it. And then the models came after her.
Now, what do you do?

Speaker 1 What do you do?

Speaker 1 Let's see, you're pretty tired, huh?

Speaker 1 We, we, no, I'm just, I can't wrap my head around this. Like, we

Speaker 1 assuming there's no God, you know,

Speaker 1 and that when you die, you just go away, you just no longer exist.

Speaker 1 Poof, baby. The

Speaker 1 eternal oblivion, as they call it,

Speaker 1 which means that every moment we have on earth is important and must be grasped and cherished.

Speaker 1 And I just listened to that story about that topic, and then the ultimate of being asked to comment on it is my own death approaches with clockwork regularity.

Speaker 1 You're on the wrong side of 40. Oh, I am not.
There are more days behind than ahead ever. I mean,

Speaker 1 you know, when I believe when you die, you just shut off like a light switch, and that's some of that hand is starting to creep towards that switch that says BQ.

Speaker 1 It's going to be Kendall Jenner's hand, yeah. So let's talk about her for a minute.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I was never one of those girls who would do like 30 shows a season or whatever the fuck those girls do. More power to them.
I don't care what she says. I don't care what the fucking models say.

Speaker 1 Neither do I. I want to defend her.
That's all right. That's what I'm trying to get at here.

Speaker 2 What would you need to convince you that maybe there is more

Speaker 2 after you die?

Speaker 2 What would you need on this planet of existence to

Speaker 2 give you at least a little bit of hope?

Speaker 1 Any

Speaker 1 tiny shred of evidence. Please include Kettle Jenner in your answer.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What about these people who die and they say they go to heaven and they come back?

Speaker 1 I don't know who they are. I don't know their stories.

Speaker 4 I know nothing about them. But those are people who have come back.

Speaker 4 You don't hear about people who have gone over and then sent a message. It's somebody's come back and you can equate whatever they went through to some chemicals.

Speaker 1 Well, it's always like they're on the operating table and there's that light above them.

Speaker 4 Or they're floating around the operating room and they can hear what they're saying, which is understandable because they're in the room.

Speaker 1 You know how many times I was on morphine or derivatives of morphine and I'm like, I'm floating, baby. I'm floating all over the goddamn room.
And then I came back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Came on back.
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 4 I mean, you have so many people who want to prove the existence of ghosts and an afterlife. You would think in all these years they would come, they would find a way to come forward and

Speaker 1 just dig his own grave.

Speaker 1 I'm with him. I'm writing this.

Speaker 1 I'm watching watch him.

Speaker 1 He's going to get a tongue-lash tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Tomorrow, let's hope

Speaker 1 as soon as he's done talking. Come in an hour for religious studies at fucking son of a bitch.

Speaker 4 I'd like to believe that it's somewhere there, and the only rule is that you can't communicate or influence. You become like a watcher.

Speaker 2 You can't influence the real world which is why they can't no one if you'd like to believe it what do you mean you'd like to believe it then just believe it then what do you mean i'd like to believe it well do it then okay

Speaker 2 you're off the clock and i'm stand up for yourself you're off the clock what does this mean you'd like to believe it well let's just believe it then well i mean it's that's that's your two choices it's either you know

Speaker 4 sound like i said some people believe that uh ghosts in the afterlife they're influencing the current world but there's never been any concrete proof of it i don't i i just think we should stop calling them ghosts i think that's what makes makes people think of it like it's so silly and stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, call them the undead.

Speaker 2 No, just be like, just spirits.

Speaker 1 Spirits? Spirits.

Speaker 2 Ghosts just makes it, it just conjures up images of like Casper and people in sheep.

Speaker 1 Okay. Like

Speaker 2 childish things.

Speaker 1 It conjures up images of

Speaker 1 Q when we went ghost hunting with the girl.

Speaker 1 That's still one of my favorite pictures ever. That's a great picture.
So you do, so you're saying no more Kendall Jenner talk forever because life is dwindling.

Speaker 1 It's a finite resource and there's no way to refresh it. Well, I'm glad you brought it up because we got to hear all that.

Speaker 1 So I can't say, but I can't respond to it in a way that doesn't involve my own eternal demise.

Speaker 1 So yeah, let's talk about it. But no, my answers come from a place of

Speaker 1 I'll be nothing for all eternity. I don't care.
I don't care about any of this shit.

Speaker 1 So I'm happy to discuss it. Yeah.
Well, just so you know, Kendall Jenner, she shot back

Speaker 1 Because much like Trump, I guess, her words were twisted.

Speaker 1 She was misrepresented in a recent interview. That's just what you say now, right? My words were twisted.
Yeah. My words were twisted and taken out of context.

Speaker 1 That's a good one.

Speaker 1 I want to be clear, the respect that I have for my peers is immeasurable. You couldn't measure it if you tried.
There's no, pretty much, I mean, there's no scale for respect, right?

Speaker 1 You can't really measure it. No.
I mean, so that part is true, what she's saying. She ain't lying.
She's inspired by so many of them, Walt. There's no way I could ever hate on that.

Speaker 1 I want everyone to win. Slay always.

Speaker 1 Cultivate kindness today and always. Slay?

Speaker 4 I see hashtagging in her interview.

Speaker 1 Cultivate kindness today and always. Do you think she's a kind person, if you had to guess? You think she's kind to people around her?

Speaker 2 I mean, that's a very tough question for me to ask. You're asking me to weigh in on somebody

Speaker 2 I've never even seen speak, let alone, you know,

Speaker 2 I would have any

Speaker 2 insight into if she was kind or not.

Speaker 1 I love this. I love the way Ming can just pull shit up on the screen as we talk about it.

Speaker 4 Is that like the definition of rusting bitch face?

Speaker 1 I think it is, but she's definitely, I mean, she's pretty enough to be a model, I think. Yeah, for sure.
Sure, yeah. She's got the pouty lips.
She's got the go fuck yourself gaze.

Speaker 2 But I think she's doing a little bit of spin control here. She's saying, I want everybody to win.

Speaker 1 She's, but initially. It's mostly me right now.

Speaker 2 But initially, she was saying that she was kind of talking down to the other models.

Speaker 2 But now, when she's called out for her comments, then she comes with a stance of like, hey, we're all, I want everybody to do as good as you always, guys.

Speaker 1 Is that a thing kids are saying now? Slay?

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, okay.
I hang around outside the 7-Eleven with my boys all the time, telling each other Slay on, dipping for the latest buzzwords and phrases.

Speaker 1 Kicking half-smoked butts out of the ash cracks. Coming up on a skateboard, like, what's up, little bros? Hello, fellow kids.

Speaker 1 Like in 30 Rock, yeah, Steve Brushummy with two skateboards, rock band or whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What happened to your... Can I ask you what happened to your thumb? You look like you're performing tonight injured.

Speaker 1 You can ask.

Speaker 1 Lost my temper and tried to... I threw something.
And

Speaker 1 when I brought my hand back, I hit my chair, like a kitchen chair, which is like solid wood. Would you throw?

Speaker 1 Or who? At first, no, at first, I'll show you the picture if you want to see it. Of course,

Speaker 1 probably, I probably need

Speaker 1 help, I guess.

Speaker 1 Someone please help me.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 this was because

Speaker 1 I got a weed whacker

Speaker 1 and I followed the instructions to the letter as to how to like, you know, get it started and all this other shit.

Speaker 1 After this, I did it for a day and I'm like, I was going to smash it, but it's like $150. So I'm like, I'm not going to smash it.
So I'll just do it tomorrow.

Speaker 1 So then I tried to do it again the next day and I'm yanking this fucking thing, yanking this fucking thing, and I go inside, and it won't start.

Speaker 1 So I go inside, and I'm storming around, and I'm like, this fucking piece of shit. And I can't remember what I threw, but it wasn't something like heavy.

Speaker 1 But I slammed my thumb so hard that at first I thought it was broken. It's just sprained pretty badly.

Speaker 1 So that made me extra mad. And

Speaker 1 then I did this to my screen door.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, dude.

Speaker 1 That's insane.

Speaker 1 I'll put it up.

Speaker 2 Is that a screen or is that a glass?

Speaker 1 It was glass.

Speaker 1 I threw a hedge trimmer through it

Speaker 1 after I kicked out both panels.

Speaker 4 I'll go Flexi next time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. Yeah, I had to go to Lowe's to look up new screen doors.
Wow, dude, that's not great. I know.

Speaker 1 I wasn't even going to mention it, but my thumb really hurts, so I had to keep this thing on.

Speaker 1 And I didn't want to go to the fucking ER either. Like, this is what they're going to do, right?

Speaker 2 Oh, so you didn't. So this is your own little contraption?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I went to Rite Aid, and they had this

Speaker 4 X-ray machine there.

Speaker 1 This thumb brace. Yeah, I was like, do you guys do x-rays?

Speaker 1 Like, you can do your blood pressure. I'm like, I already know that's way the fuck up.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 WebMD says it's probably sprained. I downloaded an app.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So this is your own dude? I mean, it's damn good.

Speaker 1 I thought a doctor did that. No, it's pretty nice, right?

Speaker 1 Nice little piece of Velcro, a little tape to it. But

Speaker 2 the metallic blue device that you have wrapped around it, I mean, that looks professional.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got it at Rite Aid. It was like six bucks.

Speaker 4 It would have been 80 bucks at the hospital.

Speaker 2 That's safe.

Speaker 1 And like four hours. That was the other thing.
I'm like, I don't want to fucking.

Speaker 2 But how do you know that he doesn't have a broken thumb in there or chip bone or something?

Speaker 4 Well, he said he cleared it, so I.

Speaker 1 I might, yeah. I may.
He held it up to the light. It hurts like up like up through here, so I don't know if I did something.
I'll give it like a week.

Speaker 1 I'll give it a little time to heal unnaturally before they need to rebreach it.

Speaker 4 Even if it is broken, splinting, you know, making it immobile, it's usually the treatment of course.

Speaker 2 I think it's admirable that you're doing your own yard work.

Speaker 2 I really do.

Speaker 1 And demolition.

Speaker 2 I think it's probably,

Speaker 2 it should be obvious, though, that

Speaker 2 you're just like me. We're not built to do yard work, though.
It's just like we touch mechanical tools, and

Speaker 2 we're like a nullifier.

Speaker 2 We touch it, and it doesn't work.

Speaker 1 You have like an electricity that shorts it, like in your body that will short it out. You're right, but I tried to hire somebody.
The very first day they came, like I had taken

Speaker 1 the doors off my Jeep Jeep and I set them in the yard. And

Speaker 1 I called a guy. Did I talk about this already? Yeah.
And these lawn guys came and I talked to the lawn guy and he's like, yeah, they'll be there in like an hour.

Speaker 1 And like 10 minutes later, I went out and they had already been there, mode everything.

Speaker 1 And there's fucking grass and clippings and shit all over the doors.

Speaker 1 It took me a while to wash all these clippings off the two doors. And then these fucking idiots pile all this shit up that was in the yard.

Speaker 1 Like not a ton of stuff, but like a little fire ring thing and some chairs right in front of the stairs. And I called the lawn guy.
I was like, I got a fucking kid here, man.

Speaker 1 Like these fucking morons pile all this shit up on top of the grass clippings. Then they pile all this shit up in front of the stairway.
I was like, just don't come back, man. I'll do it myself.
Well,

Speaker 2 now you got a broken thumb.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty, yeah.

Speaker 2 You should have just called another lawn company. Should I get my guy? Why don't you ask me my guy? And I, and I've had a long guy long before

Speaker 1 a comic book man. Don?

Speaker 2 It used to be Don, but he gave that business up because he moved away. But

Speaker 2 I just, I knew from a very early age that it's just, I don't have what it takes to do yard work. And you know what you do?

Speaker 1 I don't like it. It's terrible.
Yeah, it sucks. It's hot.
You're sweating your balls off. Some dudes just.
I could be doing something else. I could be reading more about Kendall Jenner.

Speaker 2 But some guys just like, they live for it. I mean, and it gives them, it fuels them, right? Like yard work.
Like they.

Speaker 1 I find it boring. I just find it so boring.

Speaker 2 When was the last time you did some yard work?

Speaker 1 Major yard work.

Speaker 2 Or even minor yard work. Minor.

Speaker 1 I was out there recently doing some stuff.

Speaker 2 What would be a minor in your work?

Speaker 1 I had, I hate to shame you, but I had

Speaker 1 a fake plastic lattice around the back fence. Oh, okay.
And I usually put it up with zip ties, and every once in a while, the zip ties will pop because of the sun, and they'll fall over.

Speaker 1 And I looked out and I saw that it was down, crushed a couple of flowers, went out there, put it back up, and then

Speaker 1 took out the flowers and put the

Speaker 1 planted some new flowers. Got some mulch and everything.

Speaker 1 You went to the store yourself? Yeah.

Speaker 2 How long did this process take?

Speaker 1 A couple hours. A couple hours.
A couple of hours, yeah.

Speaker 2 I can't believe you had a couple hours in your schedule too.

Speaker 1 It was like Saturday

Speaker 1 at 7:30 a.m.

Speaker 2 Some flowery, some flowery business.

Speaker 1 Some replanting and repotting. Yeah.
I got to find some time

Speaker 1 to just live a life, I guess. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 Did you feel like you were like, you know, like

Speaker 2 I was one, like you were one of the people again?

Speaker 1 I felt like, oh man, no, I felt like I'm glad. Hello, friends.

Speaker 1 Twixed to my eyes.

Speaker 1 I just feel like

Speaker 1 I was just glad to not have slept in, like being up that early and doing something. I felt good.

Speaker 2 See, I would have thought like immediately I just would have been like, I really, I'm border ready. Even going to the store, driving to the store, I've been like, fuck this.

Speaker 1 I'm border ready.

Speaker 2 I don't care about how the yard looks or how tall the grass is or how beautiful the lattice is. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 Tightly zip-tied it is. Yeah, I just don't care.
See, I would like it to look nice, but I don't care enough to make it look nice myself. And it's tough to find a lawn guy around us in the summer, man.

Speaker 1 I think the economy is so good that everyone has.

Speaker 1 There are a couple guys that around, like in my neighborhood, that do it, and they're like, nah, man, we're booked up for the summer.

Speaker 1 When I was mowing the other day, in that front lawn part, which is like on kind of a main road, I found a hypodermic needle

Speaker 2 really.

Speaker 2 It wasn't yours? No. From a previous

Speaker 1 lifetime.

Speaker 1 I'm all cleaned right up.

Speaker 1 Sharp as a thistle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was like, oh, boy. I mean, like, Sage walks right in the back.
She doesn't, she's like, has this real tactile type thing. She doesn't like grass or flowers, so she won't walk around bare feet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she just won't do it. Nor do I.
But like, if you had a kid that was like into bare feet and shit and skipping through the lawn,

Speaker 1 and it's not like you wouldn't think it's that neighborhood.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, yeah, that would be, I would be horrified if I was out in my yard and I found a hypodermic needle.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we would, we might, like, put the house up if we ever found a hypodermic needle in the front yard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know if it was like somebody driving by and tossed it. I mean, I can only imagine.
I mean, they're not sitting out there.

Speaker 2 No, that's a major, that's a major street you live on. They would be, they probably just threw it out.
They thought cops were following them or something.

Speaker 2 Like, you know, they, what's it called when you throw the stash out the window? Like, you ditch it? You ditch the stash, the shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they ditched their shit. Well, they had fucking they had used it and then ditched it because.

Speaker 2 Oh, you saw. How do you know it was used?

Speaker 1 Well, the plunger was down and there was nothing in it.

Speaker 1 I had light gloves on, so I picked it up with gloves. Did it have a cap on it or something? You inspected it, huh? Well, I got to have to throw it away.
Should it have a cap on it?

Speaker 1 I'm like, Sage, come get this.

Speaker 1 No, it didn't have a cap on it.

Speaker 4 It was probably used then because you got to take the cap off to use it.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? So I've been, I was doing. No wonder I wasn't getting high.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 A year of fucking squirt heroin down my arm.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 You said it with such like fucking arrogance, too. Listen, Tool.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you haven't learned anything in your 50 years, let me teach you something.

Speaker 1 Sylveson says she's like.

Speaker 2 Now you were talking about a celebrity who took some heat. I want to talk about a celebrity who

Speaker 2 got my compassion a couple months ago. I don't know if you heard about this, Cube.

Speaker 1 What's his name, Tom Hu?

Speaker 2 No, this is a real actor,

Speaker 2 celebrity.

Speaker 2 Do you remember, do you guys know a guy

Speaker 2 by the name of

Speaker 2 Brian Edward Hill?

Speaker 1 Brian Edward Hill? No. Not offhand, no.

Speaker 2 He was the actor, I think, who played Jar Jar Banks.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought that was Ahmed Best.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it's not. So do you feel bad for Jar Jar or this guy?

Speaker 1 This guy looks like he might be a criminal.

Speaker 1 It's a mug shot. I thought it was Ahmed Best played

Speaker 1 Joey Joe Banks. What are you talking about? You're right.
It's Ahmed Best, for sure.

Speaker 1 But wait, who's it? This guy looks like he...

Speaker 1 Two of the five pictures. One is of a tombstone.
Two look like they're mug shots. Another looks like a glamour shot.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're right.

Speaker 1 It is a Ahmad Best.

Speaker 1 So it's not Brian Edward Hilton. Very close to Brian.
Oh,

Speaker 1 who did it?

Speaker 2 I screenshot.

Speaker 2 I know it was the very first time I ever screenshot something.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 So I screenshot the wrong thing, the wrong person talking about it. But apparently, Ahmad Best, the actor who played George R.
Banks,

Speaker 2 the backlash, the fan backlash to his character, George R. Banks,

Speaker 2 almost made him commit suicide.

Speaker 1 Oh, I was supposed to feel bad for him. I heard.

Speaker 1 I have a great reaction to my show, and I want to kill myself.

Speaker 1 Look at that third voice. Look at this guy.
I was going to say, why aren't you feeling bad for Mike on comic book, man?

Speaker 1 There you go. There's the picture.

Speaker 2 But you, I mean.

Speaker 1 He deserves it. He looks like Dennis Rodman meets the dude in

Speaker 1 the fifth element, wasn't it?

Speaker 2 But he's, but cute. I mean,

Speaker 1 Chris Tucker, yeah.

Speaker 2 This is painful, painfully sad. If you listen to what he wrote on the Twitter a couple weeks ago,

Speaker 1 he was saying that. That's so sad.

Speaker 1 This is so sad.

Speaker 2 He just sleeps my wrist. The backlash still affects his career to this day.
It was the hardest moment in his entire life, and he thought about doing the

Speaker 2 ending it all because of the Star Wars fans' reaction to his character.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what?

Speaker 1 I think about hanging myself

Speaker 1 every other day.

Speaker 2 He pulled it up, Ming. Every other day.

Speaker 1 What's your job, Ming?

Speaker 1 Why should he be any different from me?

Speaker 1 In what way, though?

Speaker 2 But, like, you know, but he's an artist, though, who put his art out there.

Speaker 2 And like,

Speaker 1 but you don't even know. I mean, Joke as well.

Speaker 1 I know how he feels. He's red jar, jar, bank.

Speaker 4 Cash the check.

Speaker 2 I mean, no, but like, when people make things you don't like, they're not trying to hurt you.

Speaker 2 You know, they're not trying to, you know,

Speaker 2 if you don't like it, though, that's okay, but you don't have to attack the man so much that.

Speaker 1 But this is my movie.

Speaker 4 This is my Star Wars.

Speaker 2 I own it. That's what those assholes.
They owe me.

Speaker 4 That was 20 years ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah. 20 years.
Okay, so this is his tweet. 20 years next year, I faced a media backlash that still affects my career today.
This was the place I almost ended my life.

Speaker 1 It's still hard to talk about it. I survived.
Oh, come on. And now this little guy is my gift for survival.
Would this be a good story for my solo show? Let me know. Like hand solo?

Speaker 1 Maybe he's got a Patreon. He's like, I'm the next hand solo.

Speaker 2 He's got a live stream. Wouldn't you not identify with

Speaker 2 Amahad best? Because

Speaker 2 I mean, you needed a little person to, I think, save you at a time when you were at at your lowest, right?

Speaker 2 Sage was that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it wasn't because of anyone's opinion, really.

Speaker 1 Right, I understand, but honestly, until this moment, I didn't even know it was a real person. I thought it was CGI.
I literally did not know an actor played that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but they were just holding up like a stick figure with a face on it.

Speaker 1 I know, like a CGI type thing, right?

Speaker 4 Well, they have to have something they act to. It's usually like something on a stick.

Speaker 2 But whose story is sadder? Yours or Ahmad? Because he just was an artist.

Speaker 1 Well, mine, because it's mine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, let me feel worse for him than what I have to live with every minute of every day. How many followers does this guy have, Ming? That's a lot of retweets and likes.

Speaker 2 He probably got a lot because of his honesty.

Speaker 1 That's hardly. We have five times harder.

Speaker 2 Isn't that the host of Family Feud?

Speaker 1 I got to fuck with Steve Harvey.

Speaker 4 No, it's cute.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I just felt so sad for this guy, and I really hope that there's a place for him to come back and

Speaker 1 earn the love that is deserved from the star wars fans why does he deserve it because he put it out there man he doesn't deserve the hate but why does he deserve the love he doesn't because he cares he deserves neutrality oh he cares because fucking people are like you're the worst character to ever fucking stain the star wars universe i'll tell you what i would take him in the new star wars movies over rose tico uh i haven't seen any of them was that the

Speaker 2 the asian girl yeah yeah you didn't like her i know you meant you've mentioned that many times. When you say it, there's almost like a venom in your voice.

Speaker 1 Well, not hard. Not like every attacked her online, like, because she's Asian and shit like that.
It's because it was the worst thing. It was like shut us down.

Speaker 1 It was the worst storyline

Speaker 1 in Star Wars history.

Speaker 2 I have to agree with you. And I just want to say, though, don't you agree, though, that it's like, can't you just dislike something without

Speaker 2 attacking the people involved with it? Like, why is it so

Speaker 1 prevalent for that?

Speaker 2 It's just bizarre how, as a society, we feel we need to

Speaker 2 literally destroy someone because we don't like their art.

Speaker 2 I think it's sad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's sad.

Speaker 4 But I think it's a symptom of the fact that, again,

Speaker 4 back in the day, if you wanted to tell an actor something, you had to sit out there, pull out the piece of paper, pull out the typewriter, the pen, and like write them a letter.

Speaker 4 Nowadays, you can just pull out your phone and say, I hate you. You ruined this movie for me.
Done. And it's the immediacy of it and the quickness of it that

Speaker 4 which I think should also count as how much weight it deserves.

Speaker 1 These people are also maybe more susceptible to this kind of thing because actor or actress, right? What are they doing? They're pretending to be someone else

Speaker 1 almost all the time, right? They're just like, that's all they think about is pretending to be someone else. So maybe they don't like themselves very much because really,

Speaker 1 they're all looking for approval. Isn't everybody? They're all putting themselves out there.

Speaker 2 Isn't almost everybody walking around?

Speaker 1 In one form or another, yeah, but this is a mass sort of like everyone love me. And when they don't, when you're Jar Jar instead of fucking Tom Hanks, when you're Kendall Jennifer, you never expect

Speaker 2 everyone's going to hate you, though, the way that he was universally hated and is the

Speaker 2 poster boy for what was wrong with those three movies, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but why don't they blame Lucas?

Speaker 1 They do. He takes his head.
He got run out of the rail, Lucas. Yeah, but like, why?

Speaker 1 It was just horrible.

Speaker 2 Because he should be allowed to come back and finish it, I think.

Speaker 1 I mean, Lucas is on record saying Lucas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Lucas, yeah.

Speaker 4 Lucas is on record saying Jar Jar was the key to the whole prequels.

Speaker 2 And nobody wants to hear it, though.

Speaker 1 Well, well, do they want to even hear it now? Because it would like, even at the time, people were like, oh, this is offensive because it's like a weird sort of Jamaican Rasta guy.

Speaker 1 Like, back then, people were getting offended by it. So typically.
Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 2 Today

Speaker 2 it would be far more.

Speaker 1 Well, they wrote in one of the books they wrote what happened to Jar Jar. He ended up basically homeless, living on the streets in Naboo, like being a street clown for kids and hated by someone.

Speaker 1 Who wrote that? Who wrote that? It was a senator. It's a cue and a tweet.

Speaker 4 They gave him a pretty good story in the Clone Wars and the animation.

Speaker 1 He sold out the entire Senate to fucking.

Speaker 4 Well, because he was mind-controlled by the...

Speaker 1 He wasn't mind-controlled. He's a fucking idiot.
He's very simple. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 I still like him more than fucking Rose.

Speaker 1 Like, if I have to listen to a speech, a preachy, fucking, whiny speech about the haves and the have-nots in a fucking Star Wars movie, I'd rather it come from a fucking gun gun.

Speaker 1 Like at least on the end of the giant space rabbit. With the fucking sincerity in the hoop.

Speaker 1 It's like, Jesus fucking Christ. I came here to watch a fucking space slug put someone in a bikini.

Speaker 1 Get fucking lessons on socialism. Like, fuck off.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Anyway, Jar Jarr.

Speaker 2 We'll never see another space bikini, right? In the Star Wars universe?

Speaker 1 No, unless it's ironic.

Speaker 2 But unless it's on a male. Yep, there you go.

Speaker 1 Was there any in a

Speaker 1 male or a female? Yeah, they'll be a little bit of a male.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 In the 2017 novel Aftermath Empire's End, set after the events of Return of the Jedi, finds Binks as a street performer who entertains refugee children, but is loathed by adults who blame him for his part in the rise of the Empire.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? We got tons of refugee kids coming in that are separated from their parents. Why doesn't this dude, Ahmed Best, go down there, do a little jar drug? Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is real life. That's in the Star Wars universe.

Speaker 1 Who wrote that?

Speaker 2 Lucas sanctioned that?

Speaker 1 Disney owns it now. So Disney.

Speaker 1 Disney's. Cannon.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 4 Disney abolished a lot of canon. The clown.
A lot of the EU.

Speaker 1 The clown, they called him. Bring the clown.
We want to see the clown.

Speaker 1 We like it, how he juggles glombo shells or spits fish up in the air and catches them or how he dances around and falls on his butt.

Speaker 2 Disney's main

Speaker 1 agenda should be. Read that next line.
So, the adults, though, they don't say much about him or to him, and no other gunguns come to see him either. No one even says his name.

Speaker 1 So, as bad as he's getting it from the

Speaker 1 fan base, they're like the people who own the property now are also like it's horrible what's been done to this man. Check this out.
It's the saddest story in Hollywood. Stop reading, though.

Speaker 1 The next line is Jarjard's dialogue.

Speaker 1 The boy then asks him why that is. Why doesn't anyone talk to him? Jarjard Ja responds, My no-no so sure the Gunga makes a hum sound.
Misa thinks Kozo Jarja making some uh-oh mistakens, big mistakens.

Speaker 1 The gungun bosses banished me long ago. Misa no pin to home for ebbers.

Speaker 1 And Disa His Nabu think I helped the uh-oh Empire. That's why they hate him.
That's exactly why everybody hates him.

Speaker 2 Because of the way he speaks.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, yeah. They should have really what they should do is bring him back, let him commit suicide in the Star Wars movie to sort of like be departing

Speaker 1 for the character and be like, I met him. Make him dead ass.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I believe they had a scene where he fell over like a waterfall, but they had to take that out of the movie.

Speaker 1 What movie? The original, The Fandom. He was in a space bikini.

Speaker 1 No, when they popped up,

Speaker 4 after they flew through the planet core to get to the other side of the planet and popped up

Speaker 4 in the river, he fell out and went over a waterfall.

Speaker 2 I've lovingly referred to you as the Jar Jar Banks of Telemstein Dave. You know that, right? Ever since.
Oh, Misa no. Because

Speaker 2 initially you were hated, and then we've kind of

Speaker 2 made you likable, and then you were hated again, and now I don't know where the fan base stands.

Speaker 1 But I mean, see, that's why I'm better than Disney.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't just throw Jar Jar, my Jar Jar, in the trash pile. I wouldn't do it.
I was like, I defy.

Speaker 1 I'll spend spend eight hours a day, five days a week with my jar jar.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't chuck him to the...

Speaker 4 And Kylie Jenner thinks that she paid her dues.

Speaker 1 This is the one who paid his dues. Walt's like, I'll spend all that time with him being harsher on him than any Reddit person that's ever been off this jar jar guy.

Speaker 1 Get him, you were just saying that you were

Speaker 1 the manager for the wrestling team? Yes. The boys' wrestling team.
Yes. And your job was to clean up any

Speaker 1 spills spills of any kind.

Speaker 4 Well, on the mats, yeah.

Speaker 1 To give you gloves?

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 4 Gloves and the stuff we called it was called Zorbicide.

Speaker 1 Doesn't sound like a manager's job. No.

Speaker 1 That should be like the ringboy or something.

Speaker 4 Well, if we were hosting the events at our like, did you keep score?

Speaker 1 Like you wrote down a score?

Speaker 4 No, I mean, score was up on the scoreboard.

Speaker 4 We had a full gymnasium and then we'd take the mats out for

Speaker 1 wrestles.

Speaker 4 I did. It was JB horrible at it.

Speaker 1 You weren't a good wrestler. He was JV good at it.
Well, because he's big now, but he was like a little twig back then, right?

Speaker 4 No, I was like 285 or 275.

Speaker 1 In high school? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why weren't you shot it, though?

Speaker 2 What was your fault? Like, what would you have to work on? What did the coach say, right?

Speaker 1 I loved Floyd so much.

Speaker 4 I remember I told the story.

Speaker 4 We had a match at

Speaker 4 Malcolm X. Chabaz High School.
And

Speaker 4 I walked out, and this guy was like at least a foot above me. And

Speaker 4 we went at it, and 10 seconds later, so I was counted out. I was, you know, 10 seconds the match was shot.

Speaker 4 It was so short.

Speaker 4 It was a fall. And

Speaker 4 I got up off the mat. I'm walking back to my team.
And I just start laughing. I can't stop laughing.
Because it's just, it's like nervous laughter.

Speaker 4 And my coach got so pissed. He was in my face screaming at me, which made it worse because I couldn't stop laughing more.

Speaker 1 The goat cleaner came off the mat.

Speaker 2 And so have you ever burst into nervous laughter before? I haven't seen that at the stash. I haven't seen any of that.

Speaker 1 You don't make it nervous, Wolf.

Speaker 2 I've seen some nervous laughter.

Speaker 1 He's giggling non-stop. If nerves have anything to do with it.

Speaker 2 I've seen him get, but

Speaker 2 I've been able to push a few buttons. I haven't seen the nervous laughter come out yet, though.

Speaker 4 Well, it's like I said, that was just

Speaker 2 a one-time thing. Did that ever happen again?

Speaker 4 Not that I can recall off the top of my head where it was just like that uncontrollable laughter where I was like giggling.

Speaker 2 And you never got back in the ring after that?

Speaker 4 No, not really. They didn't put me back in.

Speaker 1 You became the de facto manager? Yeah. What was the grossest thing you ever had to clean off a mat? Oh, blood.
Just blood? Yeah. No excrement? No.
Urine?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 1 I don't understand the steps from being tossed off the team to becoming the manager. I think it's like if you want to ride home, you're our manager.

Speaker 1 Why would they want you as a manager?

Speaker 4 Because

Speaker 2 I was good at cleaning matches. Good at what?

Speaker 1 I was good at cleaning match, killing. It was a great bottle.

Speaker 1 Well, that I get. So were you just a janitor that they called the manager? Well, no.

Speaker 1 There's other stuff.

Speaker 4 You know, you keep things in order.

Speaker 2 You prepare for the first aid kit. You make sure all the bandaids are there.

Speaker 4 All the bandages, plus your pre-wraps, your wraps, all your stuff.

Speaker 2 Do you massage the thighs and the

Speaker 4 coach's job?

Speaker 1 Do you hunker down and come up with like

Speaker 1 plans?

Speaker 1 That's the coaches. Did you wash the singlets?

Speaker 1 No, we sent those away.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Abby, do you still have your singlet?

Speaker 4 No, I didn't. Well, no, that was the team's singlet.
I didn't get to keep it and bring it home with me.

Speaker 1 Did the boys on the team like you, or were you like kind of a pariah that hung around?

Speaker 1 I think they liked me. I dearly need to ask this.

Speaker 1 Did you get a letter?

Speaker 4 I think I have.

Speaker 1 Me, do you ever say it?

Speaker 4 I have one.

Speaker 4 I have one in wrestling and two in lacrosse.

Speaker 2 So you have three letters. You letters.
Three times.

Speaker 1 Yes. And you were a manager all three times? Yes.

Speaker 2 Wow. Does that count as a letter? When you're just

Speaker 1 by the person getting it? Yes. Everyone else? No.

Speaker 4 And lacrosse, I was Jamie Goalie for a time when our goalie walked off the team. He walked off the team.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 So they threw it. How How many goals did you let in?

Speaker 1 Enough to lose.

Speaker 1 I don't think any.

Speaker 1 Our team waters, our team winners. Wow.
So you're athletes. We'll just go without a goal.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 I still remember my coach.

Speaker 4 I didn't have a cup, so they gave me a

Speaker 2 rolled up

Speaker 1 t-shirt. Oh, God.
It's so sweet. They can won't stop saying moon pie.

Speaker 1 Beaten Bucks. And

Speaker 4 my coach had me in the goal, and

Speaker 4 he was college level. And he nailed me twice in the arm with the crossball, and I could not move my arm.

Speaker 1 You think he did it on purpose?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, he definitely did it on purpose.

Speaker 2 So when did you stop? Because I tried to get you to participate in some sports at the stash, and you're always very reluctant.

Speaker 1 Why? He just told you why.

Speaker 1 Why? But you're an athlete, though. I mean,

Speaker 2 yeah, but

Speaker 2 I have a little baseball bat, and I make a tape ball. And when the store is empty, I want to play baseball in the store, but he won't pitch me the ball.
He walks away. I have a football.

Speaker 2 I want to play football inside.

Speaker 1 I can't throw the ball. He's a manager.

Speaker 2 He lets the ball hit him in the chest and he walks away.

Speaker 1 It's very strange.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I'm always trying to engage you in some sports,

Speaker 2 some manly activities.

Speaker 4 Again, that was high school. It's different now.

Speaker 1 We got to work out. Now he's 485.

Speaker 2 Yeah, now we got to work out.

Speaker 2 Keep our physiques.

Speaker 1 Keep young.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you want to to keep that figure, get them.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 we did bring some games tonight.

Speaker 2 Not really sports, but we have some board games, Q.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 we got Doctor Tangled. I don't think we have enough room to play Doctor Tangled, though.
That's where we would tie each other up and tickle each other.

Speaker 1 Tickle? That's what you tickle? Did you know we played this on

Speaker 1 Comic Book, Man, right? And then they never used it?

Speaker 2 No, that was Twister.

Speaker 1 Twister. What was Dr.
Tangled?

Speaker 1 This is the one you told me about, I think.

Speaker 2 Tell him Steve Dave.

Speaker 4 That was New Kids on the Block Twister, wasn't it? Or

Speaker 1 902. Wow, Dr.
Tangle looks ominous, man. He looks, yeah.
He's like, I'm not fucking around like these kids think this is just fun. Like, I'm a fucking heavy-duty bondage SM type guy.
Dr.

Speaker 1 Tangle says, he looks like an adult body with a little kid's head.

Speaker 4 Well, according to the rules, the oldest person becomes Dr. Tangle first.

Speaker 1 Dr. Tangle says, grab her foot.

Speaker 2 Now, as it's as a 10-year-old Q, put it in a plastic bag.

Speaker 1 You went to

Speaker 2 a birthday party with

Speaker 2 boys and girls.

Speaker 2 Would a 10-year-old Q immediately know, like, we're playing Dr. Tangle, so I can get to tickle some girls, or would you be, or would you like to be?

Speaker 1 A fucking 42-year-old Q is like, we're playing Dr. Tangle.

Speaker 1 I'm like, well, we got a situation.

Speaker 2 Or would you be excited, or would you not, or would you just be at that point still too innocent to realize, like, oh my God, I'm going to get freaked out. How old are we?

Speaker 1 10.

Speaker 1 Probably like, this is stupid. I don't want to do this.

Speaker 2 Even with the girls, the cute girls in the classroom?

Speaker 1 I mean, look at her.

Speaker 1 You went to the wall.

Speaker 1 She's hot. You know she's easy.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't think it would develop into something where they tying my hands to a tits or something like that. No.
They're tying your hands behind you and then doing shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like smacking your face.

Speaker 4 I believe there's a blank card that you could fill in your own

Speaker 1 part.

Speaker 2 All right, well, then I would think that this game had to have like...

Speaker 2 put some dudes on the path of SNM, right? When they realize that, like, oh my God, I love being tied up by other people and tickled.

Speaker 1 Do you like either of those?

Speaker 2 I've never been tied up. I cannot stand to be tickled.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 do you like being tickled? No, no, I'm not really particularly ticklish, which annoys people I'm dating. Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I almost tickle it.
It's to like girls, like when they tickle, like when you're younger, they try to tickle you.

Speaker 1 They dig their hands into your ribs, and it's like, it doesn't tickle, that just hurts. But I'm not, they go into the feed.

Speaker 1 I'm just not that ticklish.

Speaker 1 Tickle their fancy cue. Tickle their fucking fancy.
We got Dr.

Speaker 2 Tangle. Again, like I said, I think we

Speaker 1 ain't never been tied up.

Speaker 2 We would have to clear the table of every piece of equipment to play Dr. Tangle.

Speaker 1 Call me Dr.

Speaker 4 Tangle. Maybe if we move the table with the stash, we would have room.

Speaker 2 We're not at the stash, Get him.

Speaker 4 Well, not right now. I'm saying is

Speaker 1 GitHub is full of fucking, like, obvious bullshit today. Earlier, he told us that in order to give an inoculation, you need to take the cap off the needle, which I was blown away.

Speaker 1 I was like, did you go to medical school? How do you you know this shit?

Speaker 2 We got this game, which I saw.

Speaker 2 I know I'm not talking on Mike here.

Speaker 1 Some people are like, it's too low. Other people are like, now my eardrums are blown out.
Man, fucking fuck live stream shit. I feel like it's supposed to work.
Why don't we just cancel everything?

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Life.
I like everything. Let's just cancel everything.

Speaker 1 Let's do it like a bunch of.

Speaker 1 Wait a second. Want to see my great moves? Whoa.

Speaker 2 Great moves. This is a game I saw in the tonight show, a repeat of the tonight show,

Speaker 2 where you would have to, you strap a drawing board onto your body, like preferably

Speaker 2 your backside or your chest or your face. No, no.
And then

Speaker 2 your partner would put the

Speaker 2 pen belt on and he would draw a picture and gyrate like two inches from your face.

Speaker 1 It certainly looks like white people love it face on the box.

Speaker 4 Well, this is the game that brings a new meaning to the phrase

Speaker 4 bringing folks together.

Speaker 2 This game, I'm sure, led to a lot of like

Speaker 2 sex at parties in the 70s, right?

Speaker 1 Like swingers, parties. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what, we're playing on the Impractical Jokers' Cruises.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 we're playing Want to See My Great Moves.

Speaker 2 We got Want to See My Great Moves again. I'm not sure if we have enough space in here to do it, but we also have a listener-submitted game,

Speaker 2 a Tell'em Steve Dave board game.

Speaker 2 Check this shit out.

Speaker 2 It's a real board.

Speaker 1 Message in from South Africa, man. I like that.
And it's upside down.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I want to put it this way so everybody can see it.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's pretty good.

Speaker 2 Right? I mean, that's a real board game. It's got real cards, real game pieces, real dice.

Speaker 2 And you know how to play this game?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 1 What is it? It's basically Candyland.

Speaker 4 You have the instructions.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't have the instructions.

Speaker 1 Oh, he made up his own rules.

Speaker 1 TSD and Escape from Mingland.

Speaker 1 How do you say?

Speaker 4 Use high-heel dump, which is right near the bottle dump.

Speaker 1 What do you think?

Speaker 1 My sister's boyfriend,

Speaker 1 Eric, you know,

Speaker 1 he came back recently for a wedding, and my sister's boyfriend was at the house.

Speaker 1 And he does this weird thing where he's always showing me pictures of shit that I'm like, I don't know why you're showing me pictures of this. Like what?

Speaker 1 Well, for example. This last time he was like, check these out.
Naming, you would like this. And he shows me a series of pictures of women's shoes.
And he's like,

Speaker 1 I have all these. And I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, I have them.

Speaker 1 And I said, why? Okay.

Speaker 1 I just, I don't know what to say. Like, what do I say to that? But he has all the shoes.
He had these, he had like five pictures of shoes.

Speaker 1 He goes, like, he's one of these guys that goes around and like gets stuff for free and then turns around and sells it. Who is this? My sister's boyfriend.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the point of this?

Speaker 1 I was hoping maybe you knew because I can't figure it out. Want to see something cool?

Speaker 2 Shows your pictures of women's shoes.

Speaker 1 Says, I have all these. He goes, yeah, I have all these.
And that's the end of the conversation. That's it.
Are you wearing like why? No.

Speaker 1 Because that will, it's just going to extend the conversation that I already don't want to have.

Speaker 1 Something's you got to take it for the team, bro.

Speaker 1 I guess, but

Speaker 1 I feel like no answer is going to be like, and then he said, and you're going to be like, awesome. It's just going to be like, I found him.
That's the way it's going to go. I found him.

Speaker 1 So, you didn't truck at Ming's car. You didn't ask about it.
You didn't inquire further? I just want to be left alone.

Speaker 1 Fair enough. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just want to be left alone. Oh, we got pieces.
Okay, so you know the

Speaker 2 let me show the uh

Speaker 2 oh look at that Ming just cut to a different camera he's like a director over here.

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 2 fucking George Lucas

Speaker 1 blame him for George

Speaker 1 Wow Do you know the rules?

Speaker 1 I think I'm getting there, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, so what are the rules? Okay,

Speaker 4 well, this.

Speaker 3 Can you tilt it toward that camera? Maybe we could see the rules as well.

Speaker 1 You can move the camera around if you want. Yeah, we don't have the whole board.
Okay, you can't. Yeah.

Speaker 2 There you go. You got the whole board now?

Speaker 1 Yes. That's good.
All right.

Speaker 2 So you get, but now, Min, you're almost like doing play-by-play, like Monday night football.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay, I'm kind of rotating.

Speaker 2 Well, no, you're in the booth, you got to change the camera angles when something good happens.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 You got to cut to the reaction.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're working. We get more money.

Speaker 3 We have the wire cams.

Speaker 1 I want drones in here.

Speaker 4 He's the next Joe Buck.

Speaker 1 So he doesn't do the color colour.

Speaker 2 He could do whatever he wants.

Speaker 1 He's the Dennis Miller of Live Streamer.

Speaker 2 Hopefully, though, he's not going to keep it on that same camera angle the entire time.

Speaker 1 People are like, I'm in the room.

Speaker 2 So what are the rules, Game?

Speaker 4 Okay, so you pick your teams and your character. You start on the first square down here, and you

Speaker 4 flip a coin to see who goes first. You roll the dice.
You have to move that many spaces and then pick up a trivia card that you have in your hand.

Speaker 4 If you get it right, you can roll again and keep going. If you get it wrong, it goes to the next turn.

Speaker 2 I think, Bry, you should be Bry. Okay.

Speaker 1 Can I just escape? We're playing a board game. Can I escape for a moment?

Speaker 1 I'll be me, but just call me Dr. Jack.

Speaker 2 I don't see a Q figure here. I guess, Q, you want to be Sunday, Jeff? Yeah, I'd love to be.

Speaker 1 Did they make a Q figure? No.

Speaker 1 It's a curious choice.

Speaker 1 Hey, man. It's a special edition.

Speaker 1 That's you.

Speaker 2 I think that's me.

Speaker 1 Giddam, are you playing or are you the manager?

Speaker 2 Giddam,

Speaker 2 you could be yourself, and I'll just

Speaker 2 I'll read the cards, the questions.

Speaker 1 Sounds good. How good do you think you are at Tellum Steve Dave trivia?

Speaker 1 Not as good as some of the listeners.

Speaker 1 We were in,

Speaker 1 remember we were in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 1 No, it wasn't Pittsburgh. I can't remember what con it was at, but TSD Groupie was there, and she has a notebook.
You think my handwriting is small?

Speaker 1 It's insane. It's a microscopic, filled notebook of like all Tellum Steve Dave facts and trivia and shit.
About us, I would love to, what's that? About us, everything tell him Steve Dave related.

Speaker 1 I would love to get she's awesome. We're a third rate pot.
Yes, I would love to get three people in to like go head to head for a big old prize. Yeah, all right.

Speaker 2 First, you gotta give that other prize away.

Speaker 1 We're gonna do that later on because I was gonna do it on this, and then I was like, oh, shit, you know what? Let me uh, let me do it so everyone can hear it. So, we'll do that a little bit later.

Speaker 2 So, Bri, you go first, okay, just roll the dice.

Speaker 1 Just roll the dice.

Speaker 2 All right. It's like Candyland.

Speaker 1 So you go eight spots. All right.

Speaker 1 Where's my guy?

Speaker 4 He's in the middle.

Speaker 1 Here, you are.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So every time they're all right.

Speaker 2 So every time he gets a card,

Speaker 2 that's just the gameplay?

Speaker 4 Now you have to answer a question and he has to get it right. If he gets it right, he rolls again.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I wanted to run this fucking motherfucker. Those are two giant paragraphs.

Speaker 1 Roll dice read card.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 I don't recommend showing pictures of your kids to Q, but if you did, what's the maximum number of pictures he will look at? A, unlimited. He loves kids.
B, two.

Speaker 2 C, none. He will slap your phone out of your hand.
Foam face. Q doesn't have time to look at your ugly kids.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with the last one. C? Yeah.
Eh.

Speaker 2 Eh. What was it, Q?

Speaker 1 Two. Two.
You'll look at two? I'll look at two. Anything past that's just disrespectful to me in my time.

Speaker 2 So does he go back to the beginning?

Speaker 4 No. He believes he doesn't.

Speaker 1 He doesn't roll again. It's next to the.
Let's say the Candyland rules. Come on.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're going a second.

Speaker 4 I was handing it to Q.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if it's wrong, if you land on slide square, you take the slide up if you get the question.

Speaker 1 And down if you get a question.

Speaker 2 I wish that is the person who created this, we want to give him some props here. Is it

Speaker 2 on the paperwork, Q?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Oh, sorry, unnamed creator of TSD

Speaker 1 from Mingland. You should have put it in the middle.
I wish I could watch it. I'll pull you a Safari hand.

Speaker 1 There's a 20-second time limit for each question.

Speaker 1 There's a one, true, three square that has its own set of rules. So if we need that, we got to look it up.

Speaker 2 All right, Q. All right.

Speaker 1 Three, three.

Speaker 2 One, two, three.

Speaker 1 Are you ready, Q? I'm ready.

Speaker 2 At a party, Walt was given something. He put it under the seat of his car.
Forgot about it for a year. What was that item?

Speaker 2 I do remember. A very valuable comic.

Speaker 2 B, a gun. C, a kilo of cocaine.

Speaker 1 I don't remember this tour,

Speaker 1 but I think it's a gun. I think it's B.

Speaker 2 It was a gun. Yes.

Speaker 2 It wasn't a real gun, but it sure looked like a real gun.

Speaker 1 And I kept it under my car for

Speaker 2 a very long time. I drove around with that gun under my seat.

Speaker 1 And what Ed gave it to you, right? Didn't he?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now we're talking. Six.
Six, please. Move me.

Speaker 2 One, two, three, four, five, six.

Speaker 1 If one of your girls is of driving age,

Speaker 1 she tells you, like, oh my God, I totally forgot I had a super realistic replica gun under the seat of my car for a year.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would be like, I would be super excited.

Speaker 1 You're like, you're mentally retarded. And you would like, you would read her the riot act.
Yeah, why is that? And then she would play this game and be like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I don't know. I don't know why you...
I feel the same way that you're like way less tolerant of people doing shit today. It takes a lot to be like, oh, I got to remember when I was a kid.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's in the past. Nothing came of it.

Speaker 2 Hugh, you're on to be on a roll, I think, because

Speaker 2 Giddam got his teeth knocked out by what object?

Speaker 1 A fist. A pool noodle.

Speaker 2 A pool toy, a baseball bat, or a curb.

Speaker 1 Pool toy.

Speaker 1 A curb stop.

Speaker 1 Go again.

Speaker 2 Right. We don't want to revisit.
Do we want to revisit that story? Or

Speaker 1 some.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I was talking about it last week.

Speaker 2 I think every listener is just like, please don't tell that story again.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Six, seven, eight, nine.

Speaker 1 Like, even though they love the conclusion where he gets his fucking teeth knocked out into the pool.

Speaker 2 You might be winning this on your first stance here. Walt's guidance counselor came into the stash.
Walt did not recognize her and assumed that she was his

Speaker 2 first girlfriend, friend's wife, or his grandmother.

Speaker 1 Grandmother. That's right.

Speaker 2 I thought it was my grandmother.

Speaker 1 What friend? Don't hate.

Speaker 1 Friend's girlfriend. Don't hate.
Oh, three.

Speaker 1 Yeah, these questions have to be a little harder. Oh, I slid up.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 What are they called?

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you slid back regardless. No.
No?

Speaker 1 If we were there and I got it right, I would go up. From here and I get it wrong and I go down.
Gotcha.

Speaker 2 Okay, this is a little bit tougher than the other three.

Speaker 2 Which of Kevin Smith's movies did Ming create a fan page of, which later led to him working for Kevin? Clerks. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was fucking Tusk. Come on with these fuckers.

Speaker 1 God damn it. Wait a minute.

Speaker 2 You don't want to know what the options were? It was Clarkson.

Speaker 1 It was a jersey girl. Clarks.

Speaker 2 Clarks, you're right.

Speaker 2 What's the next Q?

Speaker 1 You played this character in three, four, five. Dogs.

Speaker 2 This is a Q question. So this will be ironic if you get this one wrong after all that.

Speaker 1 Do you know yourself?

Speaker 2 During his first week working at ViewSQ, something happens to Q. Car accident.
He expects sympathy from the boys, but just gets shit instead. What happened to Q during that first week?

Speaker 2 He gets into a car accident, correct? Was it your laser?

Speaker 1 You know, Q, I was thinking the other day, right?

Speaker 1 When

Speaker 1 you're in the mafia, right? Like, like the good fellas, and they're like, you know,

Speaker 1 your friends that come to you with smiles, people, you know, and you're holding like, blah, blah, blah, whatever. They always do it.

Speaker 1 They send the one person that you're like, never in a million years with this motherfucker turn on me.

Speaker 1 And then they fucking shoot him. I'm like, who would that be? I'd be like, Q.

Speaker 1 They send Q for me. I'd be like, can you believe these guys are trying to kill me? He'd be like, oh, you don't sesh.

Speaker 4 What do you think the gunman is under the sea for?

Speaker 1 It wouldn't happen. I would, uh, I would accept that, whatever if they had me over a barrel, I would accept their terms, and I'd come to you and be like, we got to get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I would never. I'm like, what'd you do with these mafia guys? They're so mad at you.

Speaker 1 Why did you tell me? Why am I roped into this? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 What are you trying to do?

Speaker 2 Trying to find a question that's not a given layoff.

Speaker 1 Trying to make the game last more than three minutes.

Speaker 2 All you've been getting is gimme, though.

Speaker 1 Come on, man. These are some pretty easy ones.

Speaker 2 Giddem got married on which Tell'em Steve Dave episode? A 300, B 250, C 350, D gross. It never happened.

Speaker 1 Gross.

Speaker 1 Wow. Did my wife write these?

Speaker 1 I think it was 300. You're right, Gidem.
I mean, Q who proved it. Hey, Ming, how many people eat these jelly beans that you've put out for company?

Speaker 1 Like, they're all fucking stuck together like grandma's ribbon candy.

Speaker 3 Shockingly,

Speaker 1 what does that mean?

Speaker 1 Shocking people eat those all the time.

Speaker 2 Oh, and prompt too? Like, he has to have one, true, three ready to go at a moment's cost.

Speaker 1 I guess that's the

Speaker 1 price you pay for playing the game.

Speaker 2 They're like,'One, true, 3 square.

Speaker 1 They have the option of challenge the other team to a round of 1-true 3 if they beat you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Forget it. We can't do it.
All right, we'll just do a regular question.

Speaker 2 What did the boys nickname the Air Force's gay bomb that used female sex hormones to make soldiers attracted to each other?

Speaker 2 Enola Gay,

Speaker 2 fabulous, or puff bomb.

Speaker 1 Puff bomb.

Speaker 2 Puff bomb. Woo!

Speaker 1 I like that people are answering, too. Yeah, yeah, maybe she should give it a second.
Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, people are in the comments.
People are asking. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 All right. I didn't know they were.
I thought they I figured they had back.

Speaker 1 Look at Mike Kay. Ming sounds perfect.
All right, why don't you get married on fucking episode 400? Who sounds perfect? Mike Ming says Mike Kay.

Speaker 2 I guess the

Speaker 2 money isn't. How nice fucking same shit.

Speaker 1 I guess that's how he sounds perfect.

Speaker 1 Have you listened to Mike King's show?

Speaker 2 Is that supposed to be sarcasm?

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 Throwing is so loud. How many audio sources are in the room? How much of a delay is this on, Ming?

Speaker 3 There's quite a

Speaker 3 20 seconds.

Speaker 1 It's like 10, 20 seconds.

Speaker 2 All right, Q.

Speaker 2 I think you may have

Speaker 1 to purpose it.

Speaker 2 Well, no, because I don't think you.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't even know this one. So I don't think you're going to know it either, though.
Who introduced the boys to the TESD Cares Reddit board? A Ming Chen.

Speaker 2 B get him Steve Dave.

Speaker 1 I thought it was LaDon though.

Speaker 2 C Rob Bruce or D

Speaker 2 Frank Five.

Speaker 2 It's a tough one.

Speaker 1 It seems like something Rob Bruce would want to do, but would have no idea of how to do. I don't even think.
What are the options, Anne? Who are the people?

Speaker 2 Ming, get him, Rob Bruce, or Frank Five.

Speaker 1 Can you get the internet on a sidekick?

Speaker 1 I'm going to say get him.

Speaker 2 You say get him.

Speaker 2 What does the internet say?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just give it 20 to 30 seconds and we'll find out.

Speaker 1 Got him.

Speaker 2 Is everybody universally saying get him?

Speaker 2 Dude, you're like the Tom Brady of Escape from

Speaker 1 very pliable.

Speaker 1 People are pretty much saying get him.

Speaker 2 It was get him, everybody. All right.

Speaker 1 So you were just bringing in bad news from day one.

Speaker 1 One, I own your domain name. Two, people are shitting all over you.

Speaker 2 Things haven't changed much since that introduction to the Reddit board.

Speaker 2 Still the same level of animosity, I see.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Well, that's crazy.
Yes, it hasn't gotten better. Why do you go?

Speaker 4 It's because they demoted me as a mod.

Speaker 2 I just, I mean, I think it's just human nature.

Speaker 1 Keep you in check. Yeah.

Speaker 4 The late mod kicked me out and then re-added me because

Speaker 4 when he left, it would have made me a top mod.

Speaker 2 Ooh, cue. This one's a tough one, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Well, your mic is fucked. My mic? Yeah, mine too, according to James.

Speaker 1 Is it on?

Speaker 1 I don't know. People are saying live streaming is hard to get right.

Speaker 1 But Jason Lee says Walt's mic is fine. I don't know.
I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.

Speaker 4 Watching the levels, they look good.

Speaker 2 Q was embarrassed when an insurance adjuster he used was an Impractical Jokers fan. What car did Q own at that time?

Speaker 2 A, a 1998 Toyota Camry, B, a 2014 Jeep, a 2006 Honda Civic, or a 2003 Prius.

Speaker 1 And when was this?

Speaker 2 There's no date.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, what was the question? I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Oh, when Q was embarrassed when an insurance adjuster he used was an impractical joker.

Speaker 1 You know, we're asking Q all questions about Q.

Speaker 2 He didn't want me to salt the cards. He wanted me to just take them as they came.

Speaker 1 Of course he does. He wants to go home.

Speaker 1 It's a 2006 Honda Civic.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 can you refresh us? Why were you embarrassed? I thought that would be play to your.

Speaker 1 I don't remember this this at all. I just know which car that I owned at that time.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, I wonder why you were embarrassed because I would think because you'd love to be, you know,

Speaker 2 to have that inside man in your corner at all times, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's good. It's a good thing to fucking

Speaker 1 seven. Could someone move me?

Speaker 2 Look at him. He's so focused.
He's not even listening. He's like, he wants to win this so badly.
I love the competitive cue.

Speaker 1 And it's such a challenge, too.

Speaker 1 Every fucking question is about him. He's like, oh, the car I owned in 2006.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you think you could answer the car you owned in 2006?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Really? Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 In episode 180, The Tranny Trick.

Speaker 1 Okay, sweet.

Speaker 2 The boys are discussing well being tranny tricked. What movie were they talking about?

Speaker 1 Phantasm. Christ Almighty.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was Phantasm.

Speaker 1 No, it was a fucking porno. Like, of course it wasn't.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 You wanted to give props to this guy?

Speaker 1 This question should be. Oh, here we go.

Speaker 2 Here we go, Q. Get him agreed to sell the website, tellmstevedave.com, to the boys for exactly how many dollars.

Speaker 1 The first time? $700.

Speaker 2 A, $1,000. B, $700 or C, $500.

Speaker 1 Well, the first time, the second time. First time was $700.

Speaker 2 Did you eventually sell it for $700 or was it $1,000?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was $700.

Speaker 1 Do you ever feel like you should give us that money back? Because I do.

Speaker 1 Because if I move

Speaker 1 this

Speaker 2 a good user, you're not even going to get a fucking.

Speaker 1 You're not going to get a turn, get him?

Speaker 1 I mean, hey,

Speaker 2 ridiculous.

Speaker 1 What's Q's middle name?

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 4 How many cats does Q have?

Speaker 2 Do you consider you buying that domain name the

Speaker 2 biggest pile of shit you ever walked, ever stepped into as far as luck?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Right? I mean, it has has to be.
By all rights, we should not like him right now.

Speaker 2 Or even know him.

Speaker 2 Is that the most luckiest thing you ever fucking did in your entire life?

Speaker 4 If you asked me if I,

Speaker 4 when I purchased that domain, would I picture me being sitting here right now surrounded by famous people? No.

Speaker 1 Wow,

Speaker 1 neither would we.

Speaker 1 So you don't regret it? No.

Speaker 2 No, but would you, what's more luckier? that when you got adopted by your family or when you bought the domain name, which do you consider more influential?

Speaker 1 This is more of a give me the all-cues question so far.

Speaker 1 I mean, pre-mother trying to smother it with a pillow.

Speaker 2 I mean, you've got, like, you probably said to yourself, wow, I was the luckiest boy in the world at that moment when you got adopted. You were adopted at what age?

Speaker 1 I just took the pillow away.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. So you weren't, okay, it wasn't like six years old.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Can I go again, or did we already do it?

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 you're on a roll, maybe, baby. I mean, you are the

Speaker 2 greatest

Speaker 1 escape from Mingland.

Speaker 1 This is great.

Speaker 2 In the Adam and Eve bonus podcast,

Speaker 2 Suzanne does a one, true, three.

Speaker 2 Which of these three is the true story?

Speaker 1 Ooh, this I might not get.

Speaker 2 All right, okay, now, internet, this is why you paid for the live stream. This is exciting.

Speaker 1 To see a giant talk against you.

Speaker 2 Everybody was rooting against you, Q. You're like the Patriots.
Everybody loves to see him lose.

Speaker 1 All right. He may get you more.

Speaker 2 Sounds like I have a one in four chance of getting this right. She accidentally deleted all of Bry's photos.
She had sex with Bry while he had a loaded gun up to her temple.

Speaker 2 She unsuccessfully tried to roleplay as a hooker with Bry.

Speaker 2 Which of those was the true story?

Speaker 1 See, here's the thing. I know that she deleted his photos.
And I know that they had sex with a gun. So it's which one do I remember

Speaker 1 being?

Speaker 4 said by her?

Speaker 2 Said by her. So you're looking for the which one is the true story? Deleted photos.
Deleted photos. What's the internet say?

Speaker 1 Let's see what the internet says.

Speaker 4 Sound is getting

Speaker 1 what we're saying. What was C again?

Speaker 2 Unsuccessfully tried to role play as a hooker.

Speaker 1 Brian, we got a whole gun, sex gun.

Speaker 1 Let me say this much. I should have pulled the trigger.

Speaker 1 I know the gun story happened, but I also know she deleted all your photos. She deleted photos too, yeah, but that wasn't part of that one.
Has

Speaker 1 I, I don't know. It might have come after.

Speaker 2 You can decline to answer this because I know you're in a new relationship, but has any of that come up with the new girlfriend? Any kind of that? Like, she's like, well, you did that with her.

Speaker 2 Why won't you pull a gun on me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she gave me that kind of attitude.

Speaker 1 It's like, what do you have a fag or something?

Speaker 1 Let's just say I've unloaded guns for, you know.

Speaker 2 You've used a gun on her too?

Speaker 1 It's the only way I can do it now.

Speaker 1 Are you crazy? Are you serious?

Speaker 2 You used the gun method on her as well?

Speaker 1 Was it the same gun? It was not the same gun. No, the first one was my grandfather's revolver, a little like 22-looking thing.
It was like real small. This is a big 45 Springfield armory.

Speaker 2 How does that conversation

Speaker 2 come up where like who suggests like, well, I know you're like, do you suggest it or does she say, well, I know you're into gunplay. I'd like to try gunplay.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm just going to say it because why not?

Speaker 1 She said that she knew she wanted to have sex with me when she heard that story.

Speaker 2 That was the story that made her fall in love with you?

Speaker 1 Well, I wouldn't say fall in love with you.

Speaker 1 If falling in love with me is equated to pointing a gun at her while I have sex, then.

Speaker 1 Actually, yeah.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. Can you.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Special breed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. A A special kind of lady.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Really? And you're not like,

Speaker 2 what is your reaction when you're like, okay.

Speaker 1 Locked and loaded. What if you?

Speaker 2 Would you find that titillating or would you be a little bit like leery?

Speaker 1 Do you mean woody or diddy? I'd get into it.

Speaker 2 I would be terrified if somebody was like, I want you to pull a gun on me.

Speaker 1 When I was younger, maybe now I'm like, just where is it?

Speaker 1 Where is the gun? She's like, I can ask you to see. Over to Honda Donald.

Speaker 1 Could you pull off?

Speaker 2 Could you pull off that maneuver again? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I tried role-playing with my

Speaker 4 two exes ago.

Speaker 1 Pretend I'm a guy you're not going to cheat on me.

Speaker 1 Pretend I'm not blind.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 it didn't go well.

Speaker 2 What was the role?

Speaker 1 What was your role?

Speaker 4 I had a mask on.

Speaker 1 What kind of mask?

Speaker 4 One of those.

Speaker 1 She didn't know she was my girlfriend yet.

Speaker 1 The mascot more. It's more of a robbery, like

Speaker 1 smashing grammar.

Speaker 4 the gramercy show

Speaker 2 oh my god you are that miss yeah wow and it didn't go well because because you you couldn't keep up the charade or she was or she just was not into it i got i got worried that like oh you pushed you pussed out we gotta have a sea for her yeah

Speaker 2 you freaking

Speaker 2 half a man you wouldn't keep up with the you couldn't keep up with the character no no what was the character i was

Speaker 1 attacking her yeah you were an intruder oh and you couldn't uh you couldn't follow That's disappointing. You know why? Because then she'll find someone who will follow through.

Speaker 2 Did that lead, you think, inevitably to the breakup?

Speaker 4 Well, I think a lot of things led to the breakup, but sure, I'll throw that into the pile.

Speaker 1 I thought about it until right now.

Speaker 2 All right, Giddam. You are up.

Speaker 1 People are bored, man. People are bored of

Speaker 1 regular.

Speaker 2 What, the live stream? People are saying they're bored.

Speaker 1 No, no, not them.

Speaker 1 People are bored of regular sex stuff. Like, what are you going to do? Just lay there and do the same thing you've done a hundred times.
Sometimes, you know, you pull a gun. So

Speaker 1 sometimes you.

Speaker 2 If you don't have to again you don't have to answer but like was it

Speaker 2 was it

Speaker 2 was was it everything that she thought it would be or was she kind of like well or did she think it was going to be did it how did it how did it turn out was it a successful session

Speaker 1 well it was more than once so oh surely god oh wow surely multiple times with the gun magnificent johnson rides again here i am

Speaker 2 off into the sunset what was the answer was it great it was uh the gun it was the gun yeah

Speaker 2 Get him now. You're a 148 knowledge here.
You should not miss a question. Hopefully.
Right. You should run the table right now.

Speaker 2 That's what the internet wants to see. They want to see an amazing comeback.

Speaker 1 They want to see a winner like you.

Speaker 2 Right? That's the Cinderella.

Speaker 4 They want to see me win like I did on Sunday Chef. Right.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 This is like

Speaker 2 Disney might buy this story if you come back and win this now. Okay.
And make a movie of it.

Speaker 4 Didn't they already do it? It's called The Hunchback in Notre Dame.

Speaker 2 You ready? Yes.

Speaker 2 Q is a fan and friends with this British filmmaker, Guy Ritchie,

Speaker 2 Edgar Wright, or Ian K. Morris.
Ian K. Morris.

Speaker 1 Final answer. Correct.

Speaker 2 Well, how's he doing, Q?

Speaker 2 Great.

Speaker 1 His movie just came out over there. Oh, yeah?

Speaker 2 Do you still talk to him on a regular basis?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's good. Hop on Twitter and listen to any one of his liberal leanings.
They're so amazing to read.

Speaker 1 Oh, Ian? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 He went to the left.

Speaker 1 He moved to Hollywood. He went full liberal, yeah.
He moved to Hollywood.

Speaker 2 I love that

Speaker 2 it doesn't affect your friendship, though. That a big man.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know. None of my friends talk politics with me because I know I don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 2 Does Ian? Or he knows you doesn't want you to want to talk about it either?

Speaker 1 Everybody knows

Speaker 1 I'm ignorant and happy.

Speaker 1 That's the way it's.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it really is. Ignorance is

Speaker 1 relationships. I got no problem with it.
It really is. It's a maximum to live by.

Speaker 1 It's not for everybody else, but

Speaker 1 it is for me. I don't give a fuck about them.

Speaker 2 You're lucky out because I know, for some reason,

Speaker 2 your Q knowledge is off the charts. Not IQ.

Speaker 1 Q. It's just your Q.

Speaker 2 Your Q knowledge. Like, you're enamored with Q.
So I think you're going to, again, love this.

Speaker 1 That's what his girlfriend made him say when he was role-playing IQ.

Speaker 1 Official strap-on.

Speaker 1 Slightly used.

Speaker 1 They took a mold of my penis and made it into a strap. I can't believe what cuckin' get him.

Speaker 1 What a fool. I've never been pegged like this.

Speaker 1 Oh, she's wearing the

Speaker 1 strap boat

Speaker 2 but of course all right q is big timed at a broadway show of school of rock by what celeb

Speaker 2 john ham chandler riggs michael rooker or d you can't big time q

Speaker 1 this is insanely difficult this is really easy i see uh every almost every question i'm like i know the answer to that one except for the one that i got this was it was it rooker final answer final answer yeah rooker rooker yeah no nope Chandler Riggs.

Speaker 1 It was a child. A child, big time.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It was Chandler Riggs.
Wow. The internet is accelerating as Giddam is going down in flames.

Speaker 2 All right, Bry.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Am I still playing?

Speaker 4 Just so people could watch the good guys.

Speaker 1 I think I got to be back here. I'm still at fucking Ming's Mike.
I'm going to look for a comeback story, though. All right.
This could be the greatest comeback story. One, two, three, four, five.

Speaker 2 Ooh, you almost got the shoot.

Speaker 1 Just go on the shoot. Just go on the shoot.
Go on the shoot.

Speaker 2 Go on the shoot. Sorry, Giddam.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. You got to get it right.
You got to get it right. Oh, I got to get it right, and then I go.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Mary Elizabeth just called. She heard the word shoot.

Speaker 1 She was like, come home now.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm talking about the poop shoot.

Speaker 1 Come on now.

Speaker 1 There he goes. God's own prototype.

Speaker 2 Three cavalleros.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 Episode 295. What was Walt's reason for denouncing the science of cryptography? He didn't believe the map makers could show the country's true shapes.

Speaker 2 He said only Jesus knew what the world looked like.

Speaker 1 Isn't it cartography?

Speaker 1 It says cryptography. It does.

Speaker 4 It's wrong on the card.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 He read it right, though.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Guinem. Welcome.

Speaker 1 We're in agreement, Guinem. Pound it out.

Speaker 2 We never went to the moon, so how could we have these pictures of the earth? Wow. So he didn't believe the map makers could know the country's true shapes.

Speaker 2 He said only Jesus knew what the world looked like, or I never went, I said we never went to the moon, so how could we have everyone all three so plausible yeah that's what I'm thinking I'm like

Speaker 2 I believe it is number one it is number one okay that would be letter a not number one

Speaker 2 and you are correct I always I still to this day feel that it's impossible I feel it's that only the the people of that era could have been taken up by an alien spaceship to see the earth to get there to get how they made maps like that I don't think it's possible you can do it from the ground I wish I'd thought of it at the time but when we were when Walt saw saw the UFOs and was blathering on and on about how he's always known he's special and aliens were going to seek him for knowledge, isn't this the same guy who's like, we're all ants, none of us are special, everyone is meaningless?

Speaker 2 Well, that's just my that's just what I have to say to get the to

Speaker 1 fool the aliens.

Speaker 2 No, it's reverse psychology. Yeah, and we're using reverse psychology on the aliens.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So the aliens are the same as the people who are

Speaker 1 in the middle of the day. They think you're a challenge.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, they consider me the most common man that ever walked the earth, but they monitor all communications.

Speaker 2 I got them fooled.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, they back us on Patreon.

Speaker 1 All right,

Speaker 1 in Vegas, that like it looked like a comet. They kept taking it down off Facebook.
It was like a somebody was saying it was a spaceship. It was like a, it was a couple, like a week ago or so.

Speaker 2 Uh, this brim of these uh, oh, I gotta roll again. These are some long-ass friends.

Speaker 1 I go up the shoot.

Speaker 2 All right, keep hitting my mic with my brim.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'll uh.

Speaker 1 I left another bruise.

Speaker 1 Careful there, Trina Man.

Speaker 1 You got it, boss.

Speaker 1 All right. And making hay.

Speaker 2 And making hay, who was the first person that the boys met at the Collingswood auction? Tina X, Ira, Giddam, Steve, Dave, or Dennis. Who was the first person we interviewed on Making Hay?

Speaker 2 This is tough.

Speaker 2 This one I should have cut the episode for so, like, so many hours. You probably should know.

Speaker 1 I probably should know. I believe I do.
I believe it was the purveyor of porn, Ira, with his gaping hole videos.

Speaker 1 Correct. Wow.

Speaker 2 Ira making a big-time comeback.

Speaker 1 Gaping hole do anything for you, Giddem? No. No.
No.

Speaker 2 He doesn't.

Speaker 1 I don't want to throw a hotthorne down the hallway. We'll go through phases.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But aren't you turned?

Speaker 1 Aren't you

Speaker 1 long, Giddam?

Speaker 1 So long.

Speaker 2 An issue with holes in a sequence?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 a different drug.

Speaker 1 Was it

Speaker 4 tryptophobia?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's afraid of holes.

Speaker 4 Like

Speaker 4 patterns, like patterns of holes. Like a honeycomb, that kind of deal.

Speaker 1 So a gaping hole.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're turning around wrong. It just looks like a big beehive.
No.

Speaker 1 It sounds like a giant honeycomb.

Speaker 1 We all know it. You say it.

Speaker 1 Looks like a hornet test.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite porn category? Ooh. Like if you're going onto the internet and you're like,

Speaker 1 here's my jam. Lesbian.
Lesbian, huh? Yeah. Rather pedestrian, but

Speaker 1 it's the sound.

Speaker 1 It's orally thick. It's an oral thing.

Speaker 1 That's kind of. Oral or oral? Oral.
A-U-R-A. Okay.
Yeah, A-U-R-A. You like hearing the ladies fucking giggle and like they just lost a wrestling match.

Speaker 2 Have you ever tried

Speaker 1 a visual thing of two chicks eating each other out from me, but I hear you.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, shit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Have you ever tried to work on your problem with the honeycomb dilemma?

Speaker 4 No, I just avoid that.

Speaker 1 I just avoid honeycombs altogether? It'd be a shitty beekeeper.

Speaker 2 I get what you're saying. It is kind of creepy, and it's unsettling to see a honeycomb.
Well, yeah, it's do you think you're going to get stung?

Speaker 4 No, because there's those, I can't remember the name of the flower, but it has like a lot of people have them in their hands.

Speaker 1 The things like poke out.

Speaker 1 I think I know what you're talking about. I don't like that either.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and and like you always see them in people's bathrooms.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't like that either. I mean, it just is really weird.

Speaker 4 I knew somebody as a kid had a blue one in their thing, and it just always freaked me out whenever I went into the bathroom.

Speaker 1 All right, Brian.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm not giving you another making hay question.

Speaker 2 All right. Bry was so obsessed with blank that he would dig through other people's trash in order to do it.

Speaker 2 Recycling sling boxes or couponing.

Speaker 1 I wish I was finding sling boxes and garbage cans.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have to. You're like, let me find a harder question.
And then you give me one about myself.

Speaker 2 I always wondered maybe if the years of the hard years you put on the miles on that car, maybe you had forgotten some of the things about yourself.

Speaker 1 No, definitely not

Speaker 1 the look of stern judgment that I saw from you as I tried to recycle

Speaker 1 back in the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now I'm anti-recycling, and I still catch shit.

Speaker 2 Hey, recycling on a roll, as they would say.

Speaker 1 This is where I'm going to run it. Oh, yeah, let me.
Ooh.

Speaker 2 Six. This famous actor may or may not have placed his testicles on Ming's neck when he used to work for him.
Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Kevin Spacey.

Speaker 1 It's not all of the above.

Speaker 1 Ben Affleck, well-known

Speaker 1 ball wrestler.

Speaker 2 You could do it.

Speaker 1 You could have knocked your vertebrae out of line.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was going to say, you could do a me too, Ming.

Speaker 3 I guess it's not too late, right? Right?

Speaker 1 it's definitely not well what what what do you stand the game because ben already very early on he was like remember he was like look like he was drinking a little bit and he was like juggling the mtv girls boob or whatever uh yeah he had like very early on he caught a little bit of shit but you could bring it back like what do you stand the gain though well get some oh for the studio yeah oh wait so he's blackmailing him okay why not well he just said it right now and we've said it multiple times before so it's not like i guess only ben's the one who doesn't know that everyone knows

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 We can't rape the willing.

Speaker 1 I'm going to pass up

Speaker 1 Q pretty soon. Three, four, five, six.
What did that say?

Speaker 4 That little thing's... One, two, three.
But you're moving me.

Speaker 1 You move the wrong piece. Oh, I moved the wrong guy.
One, two, three, four, five. One six here.
Okay. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Walt occasionally refers to Giddam by his IQ score. What is Giddam's IQ score? Wow.

Speaker 1 Oh, come on. 140.
That's not a waste time.

Speaker 1 I'm on a winner here. Yeah.
One, two, three, four.

Speaker 1 If I could roll fucking better.

Speaker 1 Why? What questions did you just put down? Which made you decide not to do that one.

Speaker 2 Which one was it? Okay. What rank does Troy hold as a police officer? I know he knows that.

Speaker 1 You're all going to give him questions that he knows the answer to.

Speaker 2 No, I know he knows that.

Speaker 1 I was trying to find a harder answer. I was always trying to give him a little harder one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was trying to find a little bit harder one. So it made a little bit.

Speaker 2 What was the Troy questioning?

Speaker 1 Detective. Yeah.
Homicide detective.

Speaker 2 It's detective.

Speaker 1 Detective first. I just want to say hi to Mary Beth's parents.
They're Patreon subscribers.

Speaker 1 That would be amazing.

Speaker 1 Phone be blowing up on your own.

Speaker 1 I mean, they took the time to write all these. Ooh.

Speaker 2 This one me might not get.

Speaker 1 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I'm not sorry? One, two, three.
Ignore that.

Speaker 2 All right. Okay, you get this.
You get to go an extra, double your score to get a winner here. Okay.
Who is the wife of Sarge L 18?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's

Speaker 2 Telequis. Yeah, Telequis, correct?

Speaker 2 So now start doubling the rolls here. So you got, what's that, a 7? 14.
6. What did that roll come from?

Speaker 4 No, 6, 12. 1, 2, 3, 12.

Speaker 2 Because the timer's rolling.

Speaker 1 Two minutes ago.

Speaker 1 People are like, we couldn't hear the first fucking 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 What happened to my thumb?

Speaker 2 What state made a Q an official colonel?

Speaker 1 Kentucky.

Speaker 1 You will hear about my thumb on the next Tell him Steve Dave. It's a beautiful story.

Speaker 1 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Oh, yeah, bye quit, nine, ten.

Speaker 2 Is that you double that score? Yes.

Speaker 2 These are so easy, though.

Speaker 1 You think he should have dug a little deeper to more difficult shit?

Speaker 1 Like, it should be like quotes and who said this. That's what I find very difficult.
Like, I never know which of us said something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a good-looking board. I mean, you know, it's simple, but.

Speaker 2 Okay, this woman inspired Gidem to set up cameras in his house and stream his life on the internet.

Speaker 1 Ann Ramsey.

Speaker 2 Tama Cam, Jenny Cam, Katie Cam.

Speaker 1 Jenny Cam. Wow, I've totally forgot about Jenny Cam.

Speaker 1 It's fucking easy when you say Jenny Cam. What's Jenny there?

Speaker 1 It goes like this.

Speaker 2 Well, you said the answer out loud.

Speaker 1 He starts fucking out of his head like a horse. You go, Jenny Cam.

Speaker 1 They call me clever, get him.

Speaker 1 You throw in this game, get him. Well,

Speaker 4 I was just thinking about her the other day.

Speaker 4 I read a thread about her.

Speaker 1 What do you think Jenny Cam is up to these days? I'm not. She

Speaker 1 don't know. She's right behind Ahmed Best, ready to fucking...

Speaker 4 She had a job in Washington, D.C., I believe.

Speaker 1 Last time I did a social worker or something. I'm really surprised you didn't do as well as Jenny Cam.
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Walt, in episode 135,

Speaker 2 Walt refuses to give a buyer feedback on eBay. The guy loses his shit and threatens Walt.
What does he call Walt? Flan fuck.

Speaker 1 Flan ass. Flan pig.

Speaker 2 Flan pig. Damn.

Speaker 1 Hey, I might have fucking burned through most of my neurons and synapses with drugs, but

Speaker 1 not all of them. I retain the important shit, like Kendall Jenner.

Speaker 1 Then Flanpig.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is a comic bookman question.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Who is the fourth member of Comic Bookman with Walt, Brian, Ming?

Speaker 1 I guess it's my stump.

Speaker 2 What made Walt uncomfortable about the opening sequence in the Monkeys TV show?

Speaker 1 They were naked in a bathtub. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is it, right? That's it. Two, three, four, five.
You get this right. You win the first.
Blah, blah, blah. The first.
Yeah, we're going to do this for 51 more weeks in a row.

Speaker 1 Same questions.

Speaker 2 Alec,

Speaker 2 the Shriner's Child Hospital spokesman, who Walt the Doors. I don't know if that's out.
Past tense.

Speaker 1 I'd say past tense.

Speaker 2 I don't know if that's out. You wanted to fucking adopt the kid.
Right, but I mean, but I just saw him recently.

Speaker 2 There's a new promotion with him in it. I mean, he's basically 35.

Speaker 1 He's like, why there's more fucking blanket, man. I'm fucking Alec.
He's aged out.

Speaker 1 Got nothing to live for.

Speaker 4 Babe got to his head.

Speaker 1 Fucking Alec.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's just, he's not as adorable as he was. I guess nobody is.
I guess.

Speaker 1 None of us are.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's not fair.

Speaker 2 I'm going to watch him for getting older.

Speaker 1 No, go on.

Speaker 2 But Alec was stolen from him by what celebrity? Aaron Rodgers, J.J. Watt, Hugh Jackman, or Brett Favre?

Speaker 1 Brett Favre.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 Pretty good, right?

Speaker 1 Congratulations. Thank you.
Thank you. You got to the vortex.
I got to the vortex. Me, Sargell, and Telecois.

Speaker 2 There's a big, big celebration of the Johnson household tonight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to be polishing it as we're talking about.

Speaker 1 He's breaking out the extended magazine.

Speaker 1 We're going to leave a bullet in just for kicks.

Speaker 1 I'm a winner.

Speaker 1 You're not.

Speaker 1 All right, we're back from the very successful live stream.

Speaker 1 I'm getting a little.

Speaker 1 It's not even,

Speaker 1 it sounds jokey, but it's like, come on, just work, man. This is not even like, this isn't even us being lackadaisical.
No, we put in the work.

Speaker 1 It was supposed to do what it was supposed to do.

Speaker 2 I've got an Apple representative emailing me telling me that just go to just go to Twitch and it'll solve all your problems.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 So the next time

Speaker 2 we attempt it, it'll be on Twitch. Nice.

Speaker 1 People have to get Twitch, right? Yeah, it's free, though.

Speaker 4 If I recall correctly, Twitch just changed their rules to allow you to do

Speaker 4 like movie commentaries.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice.

Speaker 4 I believe.

Speaker 1 Twitch is cool. Maybe movie commentaries because you can just do them if you want.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like they're not.

Speaker 4 I didn't read into it fully, but

Speaker 1 I'll go with that legally. Come on.

Speaker 1 I've played video games with Twitch on,

Speaker 1 and it's been fun. I think people, have you ever considered that QA as an additional source of revenue? And if you like money,

Speaker 1 people watching you play video games. I know Muse does it.
I've done it.

Speaker 1 I've done it not for money. I've done it just

Speaker 1 because I don't want to

Speaker 1 try the technology, see how it goes. But I did actually rather enjoy it.
I only did it a few times.

Speaker 2 Were you entertaining or were you just immersed in the game?

Speaker 1 I was playing the game, and then I didn't do the headphone thing, which I'm sure Muse does a camera headphone. I just played played the game, and then I would see chats come up.
Oh, no, wait.

Speaker 1 I had the,

Speaker 1 they could hear me. I had, what's that fucking Xbox thing with the camera and shit?

Speaker 1 Whatever. Kennyo, connect.
Connect. Connect.
But I didn't have video. I just had audio, and I was answering questions while I played the game.
It was fun.

Speaker 1 I hear the ladies do pretty well doing that kind of stuff. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
What? Oh, yeah. Well, some ladies, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's one of those things if you're willing to play video games in a bikini, I guess. Because they don't allow nudity, right? I don't think.

Speaker 4 it's not a bleach, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Would you do that, Walt? What would your price be? Like, we want to. My big thing would be like I would smash something in under 10 minutes because I suck at video games and I'd get annoyed.

Speaker 1 And if people started harassing me about how badly I suck, you got to get high. Oh, okay.
And do Bioshock like you used to do. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, like I used to?

Speaker 1 You're currently planning to do tonight when you go home after you're done pointing a gun at your girlfriend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Muse does it. Muse does it.
Muse does it. It was weird.
Remember, Ming,

Speaker 1 we did Washington Con, and Muse was doing it while signing autographs in his line. People are paying for that moment with him.

Speaker 1 And he has his phone out, and he's talking to people in a quick, he would, like, sign something, and then, like, go back to, like, play more video games and stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 one word for it. Disrespectful is another word for it.
So what's, so what's his, uh, so how much does he charge? I don't know. I don't really know anything about it.

Speaker 1 I know Jordan was like, I got him a perfect gig, and that was playing video games and getting paid for it. Who do I...
The only person I follow is Deadflip.

Speaker 1 Jack Danger. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So wait, Jason Muse?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jason Mews.

Speaker 1 And I don't know.

Speaker 1 Does he charge or does Twitch charge?

Speaker 4 I thought you donate.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 It's called a donation.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like you donate, and like you can have it's. I want to, I'm not sure if this is Twitch or I see a lot of different live streaming sites.

Speaker 4 You know, there's a subreddit called Live Stream Fails.

Speaker 4 And some of them, yeah, there was one, there was one guy got in trouble. He had it set up to wherever you made a big donation, it did speech to text.

Speaker 4 And so he was in like a crowded classroom, and someone donated a bunch of money and had it start doing a countdown until an explosion, and it freaked everybody out.

Speaker 4 They all ran out of the room, and then you got arrested.

Speaker 1 Got arrested for that? Well, yeah.

Speaker 2 Q, um, there has been some allegations made online

Speaker 2 directed, I think, towards me.

Speaker 1 You?

Speaker 2 That

Speaker 2 Giddam is a character I created, and he's not a real person, and that everything he says, or we have, or the things that we talk about, is completely made up and

Speaker 2 for comedic

Speaker 2 responses.

Speaker 1 That's very flattering.

Speaker 2 And I think what pushed people over the tipping point was, I don't know if you knew this, but last week he revealed that

Speaker 2 he keeps a knife in the shower with him in case he's attacked randomly.

Speaker 1 Didn't that surprise people?

Speaker 2 I thought that was odd.

Speaker 1 I was surprised that he doesn't have a weapon on him at all times for suicide purposes.

Speaker 4 I have secret knives throughout my house.

Speaker 2 Do you have any weaponry in your bathroom that, you know, in case somebody just baths up on you?

Speaker 1 No, I do have weapons about the house. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Knives and well, no, knives.

Speaker 1 You don't have a gun, but I don't have a gun yet. Ooh, what does that mean? Almost there, yes.
Really? Yeah. I'm going to be cocked and loaded within about a month.
I'm jokers.

Speaker 2 You've filled out the forms.

Speaker 1 The forms are in the process of being stamped.

Speaker 1 He's got a good record, so there's no

Speaker 1 problems.

Speaker 2 What made you go gun?

Speaker 1 It just seems like the country may be leaning towards a place where they're going to make it hard to get guns, and I don't think that's right. So I want to make sure I got mine.

Speaker 2 What amendment is that, Giddam?

Speaker 4 Second Amendment.

Speaker 2 You're just using your Second Amendment rights to get yourself.

Speaker 1 Before it's taken away,

Speaker 1 along with half of everything I make and given to other people. Yeah, and the First Amendment.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I just figured it'd be time to stock up

Speaker 1 on that, which will soon be. Why don't you have a gun, Goodum? It seems like you'd be there to take away guns.

Speaker 1 Let me just clarify.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I couldn't tell if you were just

Speaker 1 getting a little. I was like, whoa,

Speaker 1 is he about to go Alex Jones on us?

Speaker 1 I know for a fact it's because Halloween is rolling around and he wants to protect his sod. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you know, I get the occasional

Speaker 1 crazy person.

Speaker 1 I get an occasional death threat.

Speaker 2 You get some David Letterman-esque.

Speaker 1 I don't remember what he went through, but I've had people show up. It was a lady who, like, she eventually killed herself, that lady, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, she would also, she was stalking Story Musgrave, the astronaut, as well. She would go to his house and turn on his outside faucets and then run away.

Speaker 1 No, cue. You have a stalker, hardcore stalker, right? Like David Letterman.
And then you find out she's also stalking Sal in the same way.

Speaker 1 Is there a little bit of like, oh, I guess I'm not as special as I thought I was. What I will then do is slip her sales on my addresses.

Speaker 1 And I'm done with the whole thing.

Speaker 1 Like, let's just make a deal right now. I have a gun and sales address.

Speaker 2 There's just, for me, there's just like

Speaker 1 a sales address.

Speaker 2 There's a thing that, like, there's guys that, like, there's guys that wear, that have tattoos, that have guns. I'm just not that guy.
I just could never be that guy that has a gun.

Speaker 2 You know, I'm just not that. I'm just not that.
I guess my testosterone

Speaker 2 isn't where it should be because I just can't see myself ever bringing a gun into my house.

Speaker 1 I saw that going a different way where you're like, I've got so much I don't need guns. No, no, no.
I thought it was going a different way.

Speaker 1 I live alone.

Speaker 1 I don't have kids, you know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 1 there's no fear for me to have a gun. Yeah, I wouldn't.
I could come home and throw a gun in a fucking, in like an ashtray with my keys. That's what I do.
And then

Speaker 1 there's no one there to touch it and play with it.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, my kids are older.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't be worried about them playing with a gun. I just, yeah, I don't know.
I guess to me, it just feels like,

Speaker 2 yeah, I just, I'm just not the, I'm just not a gun guy.

Speaker 2 I would never be able to have it comfortably be in my house where I wouldn't be like a little, I don't know, just a little bit weirded out that there was a gun in my house.

Speaker 1 Let's say you're in that second floor when you go to the right, like that den area with the books and shit. It was a bird.

Speaker 2 You guys are. I would have shot that bird.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Needed a gun then.

Speaker 1 You guys are hanging out, you're watching TV, and an intruder breaks in.

Speaker 2 I like your sense of the burgle.

Speaker 1 But if you did have a gun, if you did have a gun, would you have it in you to shoot the guy?

Speaker 2 No one knows that answer. I don't think

Speaker 2 until you're in that situation,

Speaker 2 I would be lying if I was just like, I know I could do it 100%. But I would try to shoot him

Speaker 1 wound him. Can't do it.
Why? Because what if he has a gun and then he turns around and shoots you or one of your loved ones? Like, you've got to put him down. That's the whole idea.

Speaker 1 You can't win.

Speaker 2 I didn't think think about that.

Speaker 4 It's easier to hit center mass than to try to hit an extremity.

Speaker 1 That's why when people are like, shoot them in the leg, it's like not possible.

Speaker 4 That's why, if I ever finish my application, I do have an application.

Speaker 4 But I always wanted to go for a shotgun because I figured just standing at the top of the stairs and racking it is probably enough to get anybody who's downstairs to leave.

Speaker 1 Racking sound is pretty intimidating.

Speaker 2 But what about all your knives? That's not enough. Now

Speaker 2 I need to get a shotgun.

Speaker 4 Like I said, if I got.

Speaker 1 Can you bring a shotgun in the shower with you?

Speaker 1 The shotgun shoots knives. The Mospark 500 Marine? Yes, you can.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, you know, you're up to your guns.

Speaker 4 That's the same one that Bruce Willis used in striking distance.

Speaker 2 You're a psycho.

Speaker 1 Do you have one picked out, Q, that you're going to.

Speaker 1 I want an old school revolver. Oh, yeah.
And I want a shotgun.

Speaker 2 Will you ever be tempted to go, Brian Johnson, and use it for more than just protection and maybe use it for pleasure?

Speaker 1 I would not be against it. Really?

Speaker 2 What if it was the other way around? Like, I want to put the gun to your temple.

Speaker 1 Well, what follows that?

Speaker 2 I mean, I'll ride you.

Speaker 1 I'll ride you? I'll ride you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll ride you. I'll isolate that spell because it's like under his chin.

Speaker 1 I'll ride you and put a gun right under it, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll be all right with it. Wow, you guys are crazy.
Like, you guys are just like jaded

Speaker 2 and so cynical. It's like, like, the just like

Speaker 2 missionary just ain't in it anymore, huh?

Speaker 1 No, I love missionary. Missionary is the best.

Speaker 2 Missionary, but what a gun would make it that much more cynical?

Speaker 1 No, I've never done a gun. You just asked me if I'd be willing to try it.
Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I would do it.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 What about the dainty? What about the like? What if you're too good? Because I know you're pretty good. I've heard.

Speaker 1 I've got to do a lot of control and shit.

Speaker 1 What if you get into that multiple zone? Well, I'm just hoping that there's no bullets in the gun.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 2 Well, she's like, I want a bullet in the chamber. Right.

Speaker 1 Well, would you do that? No. No, I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 I'm not comfortable with that.

Speaker 2 But if you knew the gun was empty, it's okay. It's okay.
But one bullet is too many.

Speaker 1 Well, that could kill me. So yeah, that's too many, yeah.

Speaker 1 What if it was rock salt? No, I don't want to rock. It just stings you.

Speaker 1 I don't think so, man. I'm shoving the balls with rock salt.

Speaker 1 It doesn't feel good. That's not good.
I can't imagine it would.

Speaker 2 Would you do the,

Speaker 2 now you're a dangerous guy. Would you do the one gun in the chamber?

Speaker 1 Would I allow her to hold it on me?

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, one one bullet in the chamber on you, hold it on you.

Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely. Really? I'm like, get your finger off the rail, put it on the trigger.

Speaker 2 Would you be willing to go all out, or would you be more, would you be more

Speaker 2 reserved in

Speaker 2 your moves?

Speaker 1 No, I want to, because I have

Speaker 1 semis, so it's not going to accidentally go off. So, like, unless her finger's on the trigger, she's pulling that trigger.

Speaker 1 And if she's doing that, then that's what you want to do by design from the beginning.

Speaker 2 But I mean, you realize, though, that you have set up

Speaker 2 the perfect murder for your girlfriend now because she could be like, he demanded sex with a gun. If you fuck her over, she could just be like, well, he wanted to be to put it, it's an accident.

Speaker 2 He wanted to go in, he wanted to go gun.

Speaker 1 Well, can you correct yourself and say when? Not if.

Speaker 1 Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Speaker 1 Let me fly, I'm not lying.

Speaker 1 Let me fly, I'm not strong.

Speaker 1 Make me a squash, make me a skull.

Speaker 1 Let's just check the balance, right off and shift. I lost inspiring my power.
Look at this here for fucking chaos.

Speaker 1 I cost, open it pays off. Spent too much time on your roofin', dancing around the truth.
So I move outside the lines. Unbride me, lay low and shake loose.
Ain't no telling what them bits do.

Speaker 1 Made me a roof through

Speaker 1 just in fucking time.

Speaker 1 Let's promise that a plan. Love it as fucking fine.
I'm fucking fine.

Speaker 1 We're fucking fine.

Speaker 1 It's like no one wants to be a person anymore.

Speaker 1 Love it was a fucking brand. God damn it, I'm happy.
I can't even have a decent conversation. Love it was a fucking commercial.
Ditch the down, bitch, the sound. Now shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Good job in your mouth to frost down. Today, I'm but hate.
Can't talk when your jaws are. Just locate.
It's a fake news, it's fake news, it's fucking whatever. Mistaking ignorance for clever.

Speaker 1 but believe, yeah, we're fucking fine.

Speaker 1 We're fucking fine.

Speaker 1 Let's just go let the fuck out.

Speaker 1 We may never make our way out.

Speaker 1 Learning a brave sense now ain't running away.

Speaker 1 Matter of fact, I'm coming back down with the brain of strike like an offer. And I'm off it, so let's just set it straight.

Speaker 1 Fun moment, this is no place to go, ho.

Speaker 1 But maybe one day

Speaker 1 we can go on this motherfucker our own.

Speaker 1 Let's get it

Speaker 1 Let's fucking come

Speaker 1 Rubber

Speaker 1 sparking blind,

Speaker 1 rubber fire, fucking strong.

Speaker 1 Maybe you're blind, maybe you're gone,

Speaker 1 row and wine.

Speaker 1 Robot warmers fucking blind,

Speaker 1 rubber fire, fuck and strong.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's black, baby, it's trouble, row and awkward.

Speaker 1 This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir only at Smodcast.com.