#379: Stop That Pigeon

Hey, it's your old buddy Bri here to talk about Patreon.

Mostly to thank you for supporting us on Patreon.

It's been

quite a quick rise to where we got a week and a half.

And

we are going to convert that goodwill and that energy and that money into some cool stuff.

I can now buy microphones

thanks to your generosity, old man Flanagan.

Literally, I'm not even kidding around.

He would not let me get these

sort of expensive microphones so we could do better video stuff.

And

now we can.

No thanks to him.

All thanks to you.

If you are not on board, it's patreon.com slash telehemsteve dave.

I'm going to be putting together a super cut of some good moments from the podcast that we're doing, like Sunday Jeff Show, Puck Nuts.

Space monkeys crap, the regular stuff that me and Walton Q do, some Tell him Steve Dave stuff.

It's all good, like they say.

Patreon.com slash tellemsteve dave and again thank you so much for uh everyone who has supported it so far we will not let you down

hobos piss in the streets and let's fuck our cousins hobos are definitely pissing in the streets

I love baseball

everyone forfeits a mile in baseball.

Walter, I've got some bad news for you.

You're annoying AF.

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello, welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave.

Walt NQ, what is up?

Hello.

4th of July tomorrow.

How do you celebrate, boys?

I'm going to Yankees.

You got your flags ready, firecrackers.

Really?

By your side?

Yeah, I'm going to.

That's very patriotic.

I'm going to be...

My buddy works for

Seth Meyers, which is Lorne Michaels.

Whatever.

Lauren Michaels has tickets to the Yankees, and when he doesn't use them, he just gives them to the staff.

He's like, I can't use it.

He's still alive, Lauren Michaels.

He's still doing it, bro.

So I'm in Lorne Michaels season.

He's got to be like 100 years old, right?

I don't think he's 100.

I don't think he was born in 1918, but he's probably like...

You're talking about the dude who was in Bonanza?

Still not alive.

No, no.

Lauren Green.

Oh, okay.

Let me see.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I know who you're talking about.

The creator of San Not Alive.

Oh, yeah.

He's a young man still.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would like to see Q go to a baseball game with Lauren Green, though.

Battlestar Galactica?

Way more than Lauren Michaels.

73, Lauren Michaels.

I think Lauren Green might not be with us.

173 if he were still alive.

Do you remember the most famous Yankee game ever played on 4th of July?

No.

A certain no-hitter was pitched?

Was it

Cohn, right?

It was.

I thought it was Rags.

Dave Regetti.

Yeah, it definitely wasn't.

Or was it Jim Abbott, the man with no hand?

Do you think Jim Abbott belongs in the Hall of Fame just because he played with one hand?

He always had one hand?

He was born with one hand.

Like that kid, Anthony Andrews, remember?

In school, he played basketball.

And he punched people with the stump.

I got punched by that stump.

I got into a fight with him.

You got a bone stump in your face.

Yeah, it was hard, too.

It was harder than a fist because there was no give.

You know, like you punched with a bone.

Yeah, it's just bone.

Yeah, just solid bone.

He punched me right in the chest with it one time.

Would you want to go to to a Yankee game, Walt?

I have not been to a Yankee game.

No, not any day.

With a money month?

No.

I'm not into baseball.

Certainly not going to the Bronx.

I mean,

out of the 180,000 people that are there, I don't know how many people are there, but how many are drunk tomorrow?

Well, day games are different.

There's a lot of families.

So people are like, I'm not going to drink today.

I'm not going to get loud and obnoxious because there's kids here.

Yeah, it's a lesson.

So, for sure.

Yeah, right.

Walk around New York.

It doesn't appear that people differentiate between adults and children in New York.

They talk the same way they're going to talk anyway.

Act the same way they're going to act.

Yeah, it's definitely more like a family thing during the on day games.

So at night, it's a lot more what?

Well, people have more time to drink before the game.

Nobody's getting up and selling crushed cans at like 10 a.m.

You know what I mean?

Not even on the 4th.

Will you be in New York?

I'll be fucked up.

Yeah, you'll be lit.

Yeah.

Fuck your kids.

Yeah, I don't have kids.

What do I get?

What time do you start drinking tomorrow then?

Well, I'm meeting my friend.

Tomorrow.

Start late tonight.

I'll be right through.

On the way home.

Open container, baby.

Probably like 11.

We'll probably have a couple before we go into the stadium.

Who are they playing?

I think Atlanta tomorrow.

Oh, the Braves, huh?

Believe.

You don't follow it as closely as you used to, right?

So now, is this tomorrow just

how much attention

will you pay to the action on the field?

Versus the beer concessionaire?

Or is it more about having a good time

with the people you're with?

Is it 50-50?

I mean, the seats are going to be like right behind home plate.

So we'll see you on TV.

Oh, without a doubt.

As if we haven't

had nauseum as it is.

As if we haven't had enough.

Trying to enjoy a baseball baseball game on the most patriotic day of the year.

Oh, fine.

Like to watch Ship Relax on the 4th of July and not see Brian Quinn on TV.

Oh, fuck you.

We don't.

I love baseball.

Everyone, 4th of July in baseball.

Do you love me?

It's not enough yet.

Chase the child.

Tell you what, IJ saved me on the flight yesterday.

Delay after delay, but thankfully there was a...

Do you want to call it a marathon anymore or just call it the IJ channel?

It was just going like a mental institution of just like this calms the bank the patients down or something.

It is strange.

Ah, this is some fucking canceled TV show

going on out here.

Why don't they just let them play once and die a fucking

enemy, right?

But it is crazy.

Like, you turn on that channel, if you see something else, you're like, wait, this isn't a commercial?

This is another regular show?

But I was on a cruise this past week, and they had True TV.

It was one of the only channels

that was available to me in the cabin.

Okay.

And it was like, I'm like, did we just sail through the Bermuda Triangle?

Because there was no practical jokers on the whole time I was there.

It was all the tow truck shit.

Really?

It was all the shit from, like, it must have been like 2010.

That's so weird.

True TV.

It was the pawn shop was on.

They don't even, they don't air anything.

They don't air any of that.

That's what I was saying.

Like, I was like, I don't want to go anywhere.

I just want to watch all this old vintage True TV classic.

You know what I think they're going to start doing?

You know how like Biggie died and they have them like, or Tupac, they have a hologram of them?

They should really just hologram you guys into all these tow truck shows and shit.

They could replay it as a totally new animation.

They could digitize out whoever was in there originally.

Right.

And now it's all of a sudden they're Oh, we're not like just commenting, like pretending we're in the room with them.

No.

It goes from, oh, why are you towing my truck?

To like, yo, why are you towing my truck?

Sal, told him you're not towing his truck.

We're lizard lick, ain't we?

This is the way we do.

Lizard Lick was not on the rotation on

the hit.

It was that Miami one.

Lizard Lick was their big hit before that was their

guy still towing?

you think he went back to a life of towing towing more than ever now do you think he's still trying to get a

new vehicle for his show pun intended

no actually it wasn't

let me see

there was a glut of tow truck shows why were people i guess it's just the drama

it's just the drama of more than us more than us

yeah yeah

let's do it

because people were like there's not unless they're helping you you, not one person is happy to see a tow truck show up.

Because that's mostly what it was, is like, we're taking your car away.

You don't want to take it away.

Drama ensues.

People would rather watch eight years of things that we all hate

versus our stuff.

Oh, he's running for Wake County Commissioner.

That's what your future is, right?

You're going to go into.

I told you I was going to do it.

I'll do like a bullshit, like, yeah.

Well, I'll make it a bullshit thing.

Well, they got a whole thing.

They know what you mean.

You wouldn't want to be the mayor of New York?

That would be so amazing.

No,

they would never like to me.

You're crazy.

You know, once they heard my policies, they'd be like

South Beach Toad.

Yeah, New York's pretty liberal.

Yeah.

Not that you're not.

Not that you're, but you're, but.

Well,

I said many times, socially I'm liberal.

Economically.

Oof.

No, I also cancel it.

Conservative.

But Mr.

Mayor, cancel it.

But it means cancel it.

I think, though, you would probably draw the line at like piss wherever you want, shit wherever you want.

Sleep wherever you want.

Do you want to comment on any of the mayor of New York City's policies?

Until the show's over.

Yeah.

Right, okay.

Yeah.

Although, I will say this.

I think you just did, but okay.

No, I will say this about Mayor de Blasio.

I have heard

people that meet him say it's impossible not to like him and

get his sincerity.

No, this is for real.

I willn't comment on his policies because I have disagreements.

But that it's impossible not to like him when you meet him.

They say that motherfucker is sincere.

You're surprised you haven't met him yet.

But like, wouldn't like people who met Hitler, I'm sure they were like, he was sincere in his policies.

Like, nobody was more sincere.

I don't think De Blasio is Hitler.

But sincerity wouldn't necessarily make me like someone

who is ruining the city like he is.

I think.

think he's not ruining the city, but he's definitely turning back the clock a bit.

Yeah, right.

Who is your favorite New York mayor of all time?

Dinkins.

Yeah, I was going to say.

Dinkins.

No.

Before

Bloomberg came along, I would have said Giuliani.

But Koch, man.

He was the man.

I was a little young for Koch.

I read his books, and it was interesting, but

to me, to watch the city on the Giuliani go from a fucking escape from New York hellhole to like a fucking,

and then after 9-11, what that guy did and everything.

I know now he's not representing himself in the best way on the national stage.

No, but uh yeah, he's lost some favor.

Yeah,

he was a really good mayor, but then Bloomberg came and fucking Bloomberg's one of the best politicians I've ever seen.

Didn't Giuliani have a scandal with his cous

he married his cousin or something?

Didn't he like that?

This makes me like him more.

Yeah, it's like Frank Ford a little south to the big city.

Hey, I'm all right with that.

That don't matter.

Hobo's piss in the streets and let's fuck our cousins.

Hobo's definitely pissing in the streets

at this current juncture.

Juliani, huh?

Juliani.

Juliani was a.

I mean, dude, I watched.

People who fucking complain about him now, I know he's not coming off great right now.

We're not there in New York when he came in and fucking cleaned up that city.

And people who complain about his methods, I'm like,

it worked.

The fuck are you people talking about?

It worked.

The city's like a fucking on his roll.

It was great.

He's divorced now, but he was married to his second cousin.

Oh, his second cousin.

Whom she had known since childhood.

I made out with a third cousin.

That's not scandalous.

Okay.

Or a little.

I couldn't even name three of my second cousins.

Okay.

And you've made a certain current.

You have probably fucked up several without knowing it.

I hope so.

Yeah.

How old are you?

Old enough to know it was your cousin?

He was in high school, yeah.

You're like, hey, cous.

I met her for the first time at her grandmother's funeral.

Probably like as soon as you got that show, so when you started meeting third, fourth, fifth cousins, right?

Yeah, that shit happens.

And then the other ones that I get to is like, I'm Sal's cousin.

Oh, and I'm like, oh, Sal, I met your cousin.

And he's like, oh, and I'm like, blah, blah, blah.

And he's like, I don't know who that is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have to imagine.

Still, to this day, none of my cousins are like, I'm his cousin.

I don't think anyone's dropping that.

Yeah.

Did you?

I don't know if, what is the name of this podcast again?

It's like Respect something or other.

It's a podcast done out of a shared universe.

Respect the Blackout.

R-E-S-P-E-K-T.

The Blackout.

Who knows?

It's a bunch of black guys who do a podcast

at a shared universe studios, and Mike Zapsic appeared on it.

And I'm curious to see, because in today's world, if you're employed by somebody, everything matters.

Not just your conduct at work, but your behavior and deportment outside of work, how you represent the store,

all that shit.

So I'm asking, Walt, if Mike Zapzik were to go on this show and admit to these guys that he's an accomplished ass eater,

how does that reflect on him?

He said that.

He said that.

Was he just trying to get in good with the

brothers?

Well, you know, trying to impress, you know, because he wouldn't, he knows, he knows that isn't going to impress anybody at the stage.

Whose ass is he?

Well, his wife, I guess, right?

But he's out where it starts.

I mean, he didn't specify, so he said accomplished.

Could be.

Yeah, I know.

I'm just

dressing it up a little.

I said he got a words in there.

What did he say?

I don't think you have to put makeup on this thing.

I don't think this is going to be good as is.

I believe, I tried to find it.

I couldn't find it to hear it, but I believe he said something like,

That's what you do if you love your woman, something like that.

I don't think there was a lot of bregadocio involved.

I think he was just kind of.

And you disagree with him?

I don't disagree with him.

I wholeheartedly disagree with him.

But I'm wondering.

Wait, you agree with him?

I agree with him.

You agree with him.

Okay.

Well, I mean, he's not the only one who's come out with

that proclamation.

So you've heard.

On staff?

No, not on staff, but

what I really admire has come out and said that too.

And

I really have lost

a little bit of

the hero worship that I had for the man.

Why are you so happy to do it?

I mean, look at him.

There he is right there.

Well, just

a lot of bling he's got.

He's got eight Super Bowl rings.

Yeah, Tom Brady, can you believe he came?

That's very non-Tom Brady-like to come out and say something.

Because he commented on this.

It's a picture of a hippo

fighting another hippo's ass.

This is a pretty well-known meme recently

from Barstool Sports.

It says, as soon as Bay gets out of the shower, hashtag ass-eaton S-Z-N.

What he wrote that, or no, no, no, that's what Barstool wrote.

Okay, now Tom Brady.

That's Barstool Sports.

I guess it's some sports website or something.

And then Tom Brady left the following comment with three crying eyes emojis and said, Yep.

Did you see his wife?

Yeah.

So, yeah, you say when Giselle gets out of the shower to eat her ass after she takes a shit, let her shower.

Still, though, that is not.

I mean, that dude's got like little kids looking up to him.

He shouldn't be.

He shouldn't get,

he's got an image, man.

It's like a day game at Yankee Stadium.

Keep it family-friendly.

So he should be fake.

He should just be whatever he's doing.

Well, you don't have to comment.

Yeah, you don't have to.

You can do whatever you want.

Why do you have to let the world know that, though?

There is no good reason to tell the world to know that.

So Tom Brady is like.

I don't know what to do with that stuff.

For all of you who think I'm basically a robot,

I definitely do have a sense of humor.

A single model's ass.

Oh, aren't I relatable?

Let's show them a robot, actually, when you put it that way.

But when you got dying kits.

You never ate a model's ass.

I refuse to believe that.

Someone who's done modeling.

Wow.

At some point.

Me?

Yeah.

I've eaten all kinds of ass.

Probably a model's ass.

Yeah, definitely.

Okay, so you can relate to Tom Brady then.

Well, I mean, there's models and then

there's models.

She's a head model.

I got you.

I got you.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I did all right back in the day, but that guy's at the fucking top of the mountain.

It must be his plot.

Chill out of circular for a local business.

That's an after photo.

Yeah, I cannot find Mike's.

I don't know.

I asked him like three times.

He's like, just send me a link, asshole.

Would you just send me a link so that I can find it?

But I couldn't find it.

So

you don't like the Tom Brady camera.

No, I don't care.

What he wants to do behind closed doors, I'm like, you know, go for a, you know, if that's what

that's what the, the, um,

that's what you're into, you know, that's cool.

But, like, I don't think you should be talking like that when you have kids that worship you.

What's the matter, Q?

One of the Black Keys died.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, shit.

That sucks.

How'd they die?

Oh, wait.

That's not one of the two guys.

I mean, it's still sad, but

it's not.

It's not the main guys.

Yeah, all right.

It was like a roadie.

It was like one of the band, one of the band members when they because Black Keys is two guys, and when they expanded their live show.

Oh, he was part of it.

That's the way they get you, though, right?

Member of the Black Keys dies.

And then it's like, is there that much that somebody would text you this information?

Yeah, I like you a lot, yeah.

Okay, sorry to interrupt, guys.

Is Q a role model?

Is this the kind of thing he should be thinking about?

I don't think he

has that many young kids who idolize him.

No, he doesn't.

Are you fucking kidding me?

He has people who are fans of his by far.

I love him.

I love him.

But idolize?

Like, okay, Q, have you had any sick kids want to carve your face into their skulls while they're going under an

option?

Consider the hospital meet to

some of that.

Probably not kids, but a ton of women, I bet.

I've seen some of these.

We get meago-wish requests every week.

Yeah.

I turn them down one right after the other.

How much do they pay?

Was my first question.

Then they said nothing.

So I said, that's what you get from me then.

No, no.

And I take that.

I do stuff like that all the time.

If you are doing that, then

we should cut that out, his admission amount.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, can't do that.

Oh, so everyone's doing it?

The bar is so low for me.

I want that bar low.

They're dying.

They don't want to hear that their hero is.

Well, who's telling them?

The same people who are telling Tom Brady, Tom Brady's fan, that the heat is.

What do you mean?

You're putting out now for public consumption.

The world knows now.

But which aunt, which is the only people that lives in his home with you, Dave, is going to go and tell a dying child that

their least favorite member of the show

has a hand model S.

But what if it does happen, though, and you disappoint one sick kid?

I can't be responsible for that, man.

I got to be me.

And that's the way Tom Brady feels.

And I agree with him.

There's nothing wrong with eating ass.

So if Tom Brady wants to put it out there.

You can tell the you don't need to.

But then it normalizes it.

And

then people are like, well, if Tom Brady can do it,

if Tom Brady can eat a pliable butthole, then why shouldn't I?

I think it definitely makes him more religious.

Now I've moved on.

I'm an Aaron Rodgers guy now.

Aaron Rodgers?

Yeah.

Oh, so no more Tom Brady.

No more Tom Brady.

Wow.

I got to look up this guy.

Now I got to learn a whole new guy and see what's wrong with him.

So I bought that book for no reason.

Oh, he's an NFL Green Bay Packers guy?

Yeah.

So why do you like this dude?

He's awesome to watch.

He's fun to watch.

He's got a great sense of humor.

He's done a lot of commercials.

And you can just see

he's got the skills.

He connects with his fan base and

he's got unbelievable stats.

He's good looking.

Oh, is he better looking than Tom Brady?

Tom Brady got old on you.

He's a younger Tom.

Well, he doesn't have the rings, but he's got a lot on that resume, though, to make you want to roof for him.

Okay, well, I found a little something about Aaron Rodgers.

I know he's dating someone famous, which I don't like, but Ainalingus?

Yeah.

No.

No, he would never say that.

He's dating a race car driver, right?

Oh, Danica Petrick?

Yeah.

I don't like that he's dating someone famous, but

dear Aaron.

I really like the way you throw the football, but I just heard what I think is probably bad news for you.

I hear you're dating the hottest race car driver in the history of NASCAR.

Bad news, fella.

I mean, I don't know.

To me, it just seems like a relationship built on fame, which never lasts.

It doesn't.

I mean, most not built on fame don't last, so yeah, you're probably right about that.

Here's, I like

a shot.

I like that.

No, no, but you're but oh, you mean as a couple?

Yeah, I think we do.

Uh, Here you go.

Poor Aaron Rodgers got bullied a little bit.

He was the butt of jokes when he was a rookie.

A rumor circulated around the locker room that he was gay.

Now, do you want to know why they said he was gay?

You're going to like this, Walt.

Because the way he dressed.

No.

He wasn't one to brag about his penis size or his endless string of sexual conquests.

I like that.

It's a gentleman.

Brett Favre sought out Rogers' weaknesses.

Brett Favre was

throw, a clumsy scramble,

and took a selfish pleasure in noting them.

Well, wasn't he the guy that he was sending pictures and stuff, right?

If I remember correctly, again, no, I liked him until all that stuff came down, until he showed he was just like a bore.

Yeah, he was borish, his manners.

You know, it was easy to root for Brett Favre because he was like the gunslinger.

He had a great personality.

He had a lot of in his interviews.

He was just a great interview.

But then, you know,

sending those pictures is just.

This is what some Packers fans said to your new here, newly minted hero.

Grab some dick, Aaron.

We don't give a fuck.

If he needs a brat between his buns so he can win another Lombardi, I'll pay for his rent boy for the whole season.

Christ, in all caps.

I don't even understand.

I don't know what that means.

Then it says Aaron Rodgers played better when everyone thought he was gay.

That's crazy.

I mean, the reason that Aaron Rodgers doesn't have more rings is because the fucking defense can't stop anybody.

Right.

So it's not his fault.

It's the defense that better worry about their

gen

their sexuality.

That's an all-American man over 12.

Right.

He's not one of those sneaky gays.

I'm picking up what you're putting down.

Don't worry.

Those commies.

Pinkos.

Yeah.

Have you ever had a friend, though?

Be gay?

No, no, we have gay friends, but have you ever had a friend that's like bragging about his cock size?

Oh, my God, yeah.

Have you?

Do we have I don't think we have friends like that, right?

You realize I worked in a flyhouse, right?

Oh, that's true.

Yeah, yeah.

He hung around with Real Men.

Yeah.

Not like us.

We can't even get into the gay bar.

They're like, you're too fat.

No, I just, I don't, I don't, I don't think we've ever had friends like that.

They're like, guess how big my cock is?

You didn't get drunk at the firehouse.

You did get drunk at the firehouse?

Oh, didn't I?

I like that frat boy mentality, like in the firehouse, right?

It's like firehouse.

Yeah.

That's what people do at frat house.

You never went to college.

We didn't go to college and we were never firemen.

We really missed out.

Yeah.

I heard they were basically monks.

I heard their job.

I had a conversation with a retired captain the other day, and he's like, I got out because the job just is the same.

Oh, because everyone has to be on their best behavior.

Can you imagine that?

We can't even talk about our cocksize anymore.

Can you imagine?

I feel like I needed to get out because I was held to the standard of professionalism.

It got to a point where everyone was like, enough.

Enough with the cocksize.

Well, if I don't mention, everyone's going to think I'm gay like Aaron Rodgers.

I quit.

What's going to say?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's probably not just that.

It's everything else.

Like hanging pictures.

It was not that all you said that.

I didn't say that.

It's civilian oversight now, computers, GPS, fucking.

It's really civilians.

They second-guess you.

I have a buddy of mine that works in the sanitation department.

And he, you know, they plow New York City.

No, they plow the streets when it snows.

No, the sanitation.

We don't have that fucking heat set on in here.

Go ahead.

I'll check it.

I'll just check it.

And he,

you know, he's worked his route for, I think, 12 years.

So when it snows, he knows exactly where to go first, what to do, where the accidents happen.

You just got to feel for your time.

You know, like the back of your hand.

You know you're out.

What happened was they hired a civilian

oversight committee to look over it and they put into system this computerized, they put GPS on the garbage trucks, and then they put a computerized system where you can go online and type in your borough's map and they'll show you which streets have been plowed and which haven't.

And

that was it.

All hell broke was people started calling up and complaining, why isn't my street being done now?

So the city hired these civilians to come in and map out what they should plow.

And

it's fucking terrible.

He's like, there's accidents all over the place.

People are stuck in their homes because I got to go do a street that nobody fucking ever goes on ever first because this fucking civilian who never worked a day in his fucking life

never talks about his dick size.

Yeah, never fucking discussed their cock once.

And like, it's the same thing's going on with the fire department, man.

It's just like they get civilians in, and civilians tell you how to do your job and you're like

All right, well do it your way, but

don't be fucking surprised when you're not happy with the outcome.

Yeah, but it's that's the that's the way the world is moving towards right?

Yeah,

it's great.

It's so great.

There's nothing better than having a nation of fucking tattletales with their cell phones just waiting for someone to slip up so that they can turn it on them and just be like, hey, guess what?

Because they don't really care about what's going on for the most part.

There's an argument that, look, like, I mean, you know, when I was a fireman, I got paid through the

They're all your bosses.

At least I understand the mentality a little bit, but

if all you're getting out of it is a worse way of things getting done,

then why are you doing it?

But people are so fucking stupid.

People are just stupid.

Yeah.

Well, you have an entire world of people who are like, you should do it our way.

If people would just do things my way.

Do it my way.

I know better than you.

Yeah.

Why are you doing it this way?

I'm 22 years old.

Why are you doing it this way when you could do it my way?

Hey, man, fuck it.

We met that Uber driver in Chicago.

He wasn't 22.

I can't even assign it to fucking younger people.

No, you can't.

You're right.

You're right.

Yeah.

It's fucking.

Younger people have been taking the brunt.

I got to say.

You're laying off?

I'm laying off.

I like this.

I meet tons of cooler young people.

Well, everybody.

They have cons and shit.

They just seem alright.

Everybody you meet in person is great.

It's online.

It's online.

You got to find these people.

You just got to get offline.

Or that.

I was thinking about commitment, and if anyone is more committed than Ming Chen, or maybe he should be committed.

I found out the other day, now,

Emerald City Comic-Con in Washington, I think it is,

not the easiest con to get into as a guest.

Ming went last year.

He went at the last minute.

I think he sat in Artist Alley because they gave him some space in there.

But the year before,

he went as a volunteer.

Now, he's still on TV at the time.

They call their volunteers minions.

And when they, when somebody told me, they're like, yeah, Ming was a minion at Emerald City Comic-Con.

I literally thought they meant he cosplayed as a minion,

which I guess you would only have to put overalls on since he's yellow already.

But I was like, what do you mean?

I was like, he was cosplaying?

They're like, no, no, no.

He volunteered.

I said, he volunteered at a con.

That is weird.

It's beyond weird.

I heard that.

I was like,

I don't even know what to say.

But did he get in this year?

He got in the next year.

But he got in the next year by the skin of his teeth in Artist Alley where nobody would even say it.

So he got in.

And next year, he'll be a little bit more.

He's got an agree.

He's putting in his dues, bro.

Yeah, I don't know that when you're on TV for five years, six years already, which is where he was at that point.

Those are the dues, aren't they?

I don't know.

Apparently not.

I feel like

the cast of Walking Dead and all these other people who go to cons, I feel like they don't volunteer and work their way up to having their own.

I saw that Daryl motherfucker helping load boxes at a con two years.

Yeah, he was moving some long boxes and he's wearing a yellow fucking

yellow shirt.

And a banana.

What was going on at that con that he was that desperate to be there?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean, Q may be right.

He may be trying to be like, hey, if I'm willing to do this,

surely you'll take me seriously.

It's concerning behavior.

It really is.

It is, right?

This is the guy's career, man.

You can't blame him for getting out there and making contacts.

But isn't it better

maybe that weekend to book a con that you're invited to instead of going?

Not one that you have to work at, and people are bossing you around, and

you're getting drinks and shit for a person that you're probably going to be side by side with at the next con.

It's insanity.

That's a level of

desire

to be there that can't, I can't even wrap my head around.

I can't.

Yeah, I gotta admit, like, most of the time, even when they're like, we're giving you money, I'm like, I don't want to really be here that much.

But okay, okay.

But something like that, literally as far across the continental United States as you can possibly go.

Maybe he just wanted to be there.

He just wanted to see the sites.

He wanted to be on the scene, man.

Could be.

There you go.

Could be being hard on him.

Yeah.

Am I being hard on him?

Did I say anything?

I didn't say anything that cruel, did I?

No, I just think that any dissent is being hard on.

Oh, yeah?

You don't think that

if they Sal,

like Sal's stand-up comedian.

Right.

So next week, there's a club that's a little bit difficult to get into.

So he

deep fries some.

Yeah, he deep fries some otterilla sticks and brings them to people.

I mean, that's the best case scenario, one in the morning, he gets an open mic.

I think that I would be shocked if Sal did it.

If Murray did it, like they bought a copy of Awakened, he would go and do it.

Right.

And I would make sense.

But

I would be surprised.

But I'd be like, hey, man, the guy really wants in that club.

Yeah, he didn't get in it, though.

I mean, not as far as I'm concerned.

Not in artist alley.

Yeah, but you don't.

Yeah, but he says no.

You don't enter the work.

Yeah, you just have to meet your expectations of what in is, quote unquote.

Yeah, now you're being like everybody else.

Of course I am.

Oh, he can do whatever he wants.

Right, right.

But like trying to meet your standards of what is in.

Right.

But he doesn't care.

Well, in a grander scope, he doesn't care, but in a grander scope, it's like if I'm going to a con with him and, like, let's say Emerald City is like, hey, does Brian want to come?

And I'm like, yeah, sure.

And they're like, grab a broom, bitch.

I'd be like, well, this is not what I expected.

I didn't sign up for this.

I feel like maybe it lowers your marquee value a little bit when you're like,

I mean, also, the cancellation of a show probably is going to be to do a better job.

And not showing up to a con.

I don't know.

I don't know about that.

Come on, man.

I think that, I mean, we're still getting offers, even though the show is canceled.

Right.

And they're not offers.

And eventually.

So is Ming.

Yeah.

You had to be a volunteer?

No, but you're saying you're still getting offers.

He's not volunteering anymore, and that was just two years ago.

Yeah, but that was only two years ago, but who knows?

But that's what I'm saying.

Like, how come you're held to that standard, but Ming's not to what standard?

To like, you're saying, yeah, but it doesn't matter that he

missed shows.

We're still getting offers.

It doesn't matter that he swept up at Emerald Con.

He's still getting offers.

He's still getting offers.

No, no, it definitely doesn't matter.

But I think if that were to get around, they're like, hey, man, like one of the comic book men, it's like he's fucking desperate.

He'll, you know, he'll do anything.

Like, we just had him here this past weekend.

Makan Illuminati that get together.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're in the counting room up above, like looking down through two-way mirrors and shit, just watching him hustle all over the place.

Smiling the whole time.

Happy to be there.

How fake you smile.

Yeah.

He's happy to be there the whole time.

Did you get people drinks and stuff like that?

I don't know.

You can't rule it out because the volunteers are supposed to do whatever you want them to do.

Although I had the hardest time getting a fucking ear of corn this past weekend.

Yeah, why did I see a picture of you and me blowing corn on a porn stage?

Oh, because we did a panel and I just thought it would be funny if we both put corn in our mouth and let people Photoshop shit in.

But browsers?

Isn't that like a porn?

That's a porn site.

What's browsers?

I don't know.

That was that big banner behind you.

Wasn't that browsers?

Oh, I didn't see a banner behind it.

Are you kidding me?

No, I didn't.

Is corn something big in this state?

I don't know.

It was like, well, it was one of these booths that sold

concessions and shit, so they had all kinds of different corn.

And I like Mexico.

This corn is big.

If there's all sorts of things.

In this one booth, in this one booth, yeah.

There's all like different toppings and shit.

There's a good choice of corn?

Yeah, well, it's the same corn, just with different toppings.

This was like particular, in particular, this was Mexican corn with some.

That's so good.

Yeah, it's great.

That's why I wanted some of it.

I'll tell you.

It's not the same same as Jersey corn, though.

Jersey corn is better, nice and sweet.

Uh, but I didn't see any banner.

What I couldn't see anything because the room we were in was so dim and we didn't have mics.

Yeah, it was kind of strange.

But then we went to the podcast room, they had mics and shit.

Twitter, hold on, um, image,

huh?

So

this could look bad for us.

Where's the corn eating?

You didn't put it up in the morning.

No, I don't think I put it up.

I gave it to other people.

Who put it up?

Aaron Rodgers.

Okay, this isn't too long ago.

Walt,

involved in some scandalous behavior.

He asked why people are criticizing players for disrespecting the anthem when they have never called out others, such as camera people do on their jobs who don't stand in respect of the flag while the anthem is playing.

That's what Aaron said.

That's what Aaron Rodgers says.

He's getting political.

I don't think that that.

I think that's

attacking cameramen for

recording.

Yeah, you really shouldn't just grab.

I don't know.

Well, I only learned about this guy five minutes ago, so it's hard to find some next week, then.

Hard to find

some dirt on him.

You're going to be nuts.

You'll be searching long and hard, I think.

I'll tell you,

he seems like a good dude.

He's not going to go anywhere near that backside.

What's IR?

Injured reserve.

I'm telling you, you're missing out on the rear end, dude.

The fucking backfield is where it's at.

Backfield in motion.

I can't find that.

What's the name of my porno with my corn?

Is this a good team that they have?

The Pack?

Yeah, the Packers.

They've been a perennial contender for a long time.

They win their division almost every year.

This scandal seems so boring about injured reserve shit.

It seems like only things that fucking they're talking about waivers, only shit that fucking football people would care about.

All right, good for you, man.

Good for you.

He's my new guy, and

he's my go-to now.

Brady's all

hot.

So, how was the cruise?

It was very good.

It was very good.

You seemed testy.

I emailed you.

I said something about me and Q knocking out some space monkeys for Patreon while you were out there

having the time of your life, and you never even answered it.

I saw it.

I figured by that point you were ready to jump overboard.

No, no, it was a good time.

It was about one day too long, I think.

I didn't realize this, but apparently,

I am the one that

annoys people the most

on a trip, the quickest.

Out of your family?

Yeah, yeah.

I didn't think it was me until the.

You're the only male on the trip.

Like, why wouldn't you think it's you?

I've been so particular about everything.

I wasn't aware, self-aware enough to realize that unanimously I'm voted the person that

they grow tired of the quickest on a trip.

Who would you have voted for?

I wouldn't have voted.

I wouldn't have thought they'd all vote for me.

You would have abstained.

I like the idea of they do a secret ballot, but they all pick Waltz.

Yeah, how did you find out about this?

Well, because we stopped at the Bahamas.

We stopped at three islands.

Grand Turk,

an island that was uninhabited except for horses, and then a team.

How the fuck did horses get on island, I swear?

Well, they brought them there.

They raised them on there, and they show that people can ride.

They're like, see ya.

Goodbye, eating.

Freeport?

Yeah.

I don't know what town, what island.

Yeah, Freeport, Bahamas, yeah.

Isn't that the main island?

No, it's not a, it's not, that's a city, I think, called Freeport on that island.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

It's on the main island.

Yeah, so we went to these islands and

Grand Bahama.

We booked this excursion, My wife did, and it was you go to the Garden of the Groves.

I'm sure you guys have never heard of it, but I heard of it.

And it was, my wife was telling me it was like a shopping village

where people would sell trinkets and

all that island stuff.

But when we get there, we take this long bus ride.

And a lot of these islands are hurting, I guess, from the hurricanes.

They haven't been able to rebuild.

Like hurricanes that have hit over the course of, I guess, of the last couple of of years.

So there's a lot of

devastation, like bombed-out buildings, it looks like, you know, every other building.

That sounds like fun.

Sounds like a great vacation.

So you get to this Garden of the Groves, and we're on there and we book this excursion with a bunch of other people, all strangers.

We don't know who they are.

And

we have a tour guide who has that

Bohemian

Bohemian app.

Walter, I've got some bad news for you.

You're annoying AF.

Kind of like a very thick accent.

I don't know if it's

Bahamian or Bahamas.

Bohemian.

Is that what you mean?

Is that Jamaican?

Yeah, that was my approximation of Bahamas because I don't know what

Bohemian.

So there's like 25 people in this group.

They all voted you.

Oh, did you mean my family?

No, no.

Turns out

complete strangers.

Almost, because

super smellers are not welcome.

So we start, we get at the

stop with the bitching about everything.

This smells, that's too hot.

Fucking Goldilocks over here.

All right, you're getting in my space now.

Guys, guys, tell them we're only floating around.

Come on, guys.

They're at the mouth of this excursion that we're going to go on.

It's not even a shopping village,

it's like this walking path

through like this vegetation

that we're going to see, like a we're going to see like trees and lizards and

all this like island island stuff.

And there's also like some sort of meditation spot.

So then the lady says, she's the tour guide, goes,

I want to warn you, you will be eaten alive by mosquitoes.

So, right then and there, I have a fit.

Why are you even going?

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

That would be me.

I'd be like, I don't have to go.

I'll just hang out on the ship.

I said it to my family.

I'm like, we're not going, right?

You're not a sensitive boy, are you?

It's like, well, now that that you bring it up.

So I'm like, what?

Miss Cleo.

Fuck it.

Let me tell you, I'm your future baby.

But my wife says, like, she's like, no, we're going.

And I'm like, oh,

what does that mean?

I don't want to have to spend the whole rest of the cruise covered in mosquito bites.

That's not comfortable.

That's like, that's like horrible to spend the rest of the cruise.

We got four more days covered in mosquito bites.

And we don't have to.

Yeah.

There's a choice.

We paid for it.

Well, we paid for it.

Right.

So, and I'm like, I don't care.

I don't think that was on the brochure, though.

No.

Yeah, that was that was in the moment.

So, I start, and like, no, we're, and they're like, no, we're going.

We want to go.

And I'm like,

but does anyone have repellent or no?

And so, um,

so, uh,

so I'm sitting there going, I'm, I start to like pout because I'm like, I don't want to go.

I don't want to go.

I don't want to do this.

I'm not doing this.

I don't want to do this.

And they're like, and they're like starting, well, then stay here then.

And like, getting all mad at me.

So I'm like, why hit me?

No, no, I'll have to go.

I'm like, why?

I go, why do you want to do this?

Do they all have like the beads in their hair and stuff, like the island shit that everyone does?

My girls?

Yeah, they did.

They did do their stuff.

Do they do it?

Yeah, all of a sudden they think because they did their hair and core braids now that the mosquitoes aren't going to touch them because they're natives to the land.

Yeah, they should have accused them of cultural appropriation.

They've been like, you're punished.

So I'm pouting and I'm like, come on, let's not do this.

And I said,

and I guess I said it too loud because everybody turned around and everybody got mad at me.

Fuck these natives.

You would have thought I said that.

You would have thought I said that.

look, man, does anybody here want to get Zika?

Because I don't.

And you would have thought, like, the way that they all looked at me, like my family, like, I had said something like

super racially charged.

Okay.

And they were like, they were like, they just gave me that look, like, shut the fuck up.

You know, that's so intensive.

That's like, you know.

Am I that out of touch that if I were there, I'd be like, I'm with this guy.

Yeah, I'd be like, I mean, it's a legitimate concern.

Yeah, like,

I know I voted against him earlier, but for fuck's sake, yeah.

I don't want Zika.

Any number.

Like, who knows?

There might be a new disease in one of these things.

And then somebody on the tour is like, you're not going to get Zika.

You're not in Africa.

And gave me a look like you're a piece of shit.

But you're the racist.

Yeah, like I'm a piece of shit.

But wasn't there Zika down in South America, too?

Zika in Florida.

So then the lady said, the tour guy goes, he's like, these are the good blacks.

You're still the asshole.

He says, you can get some mosquito repellent if you want it.

And I'm like, absolutely.

Of course I want it.

How much?

And she goes, and she says, also, she says this, too.

If you're wearing black, forget about it.

She goes, because mosquitoes are attracted to anything black.

You will be there.

You will be their

dinner tonight.

You will be their dinner tonight, they said.

Something to the effect of like, you know, oh, they can't wait for you to walk in.

You've got black shorts, a black t-shirt on.

You're done.

So I was like, when she said, you want to put mosquito repellent, I was like, absolutely.

I want to put mosquito repellent on it.

And everybody's walking.

I'm the only person that wants to put mosquito pellet on.

Buy mosquito repellent.

I want to surround myself with a ship

and not walk through those ones.

So they give me a mosquito pellet, and I, a naive, I guess I was.

I was like,

start putting it on.

And I'm like, and then she's like, oh,

$15.

And she could have said, she could have said $25.

I would have been like, fine.

I am not fucking getting mosquitoes.

Did it come out of a can or it's some sort of like?

Some sort of salve.

15 bucks.

15 bucks.

It was that big.

And she's from the cruise ship?

No, she works for the Garden of the Grove.

She's not affiliated with the cruise ship.

All right.

That makes more sense.

So I cover myself and

I give the bottle to my kids, my wife, and they put it on.

And they're like, just rub it in because

I guess I have it all over my face.

I'm trying to cover myself.

Like, I look at it.

He's in white face.

He's like that kid from Powder.

Bat boy.

Big old eyes.

And I hear Robert murmurs of like, why does he have to do this every time?

I'm like, what?

Why don't I want to get covered in mosquito bites?

I go, what happened?

I go, did we go, did we, what happened that all of a sudden now it's okay because we're on vacation that this lady tells us we're going to be devoured and nobody else is concerned.

The area you live in is like kind of marshland.

It's been covered up and houses are built on it.

So if there's stagnant water and if there's no rain, sometimes a lot of mosquitoes will come.

Not in a million years would they want to go out in the backyard and just hang out.

No, but all of a sudden I'm like, I'm acting unruly.

Like you're irrational.

Unruly.

And I'm being, and I'm being, I'm ruining it.

So they spread it all on.

We take this tour.

They put it on, too.

They put it on, too.

And I fucking,

at the end of the tour, I realized that I was the fucking dopey American because there was not one fucking mosquito on that tour.

Oh, shit.

But you're not.

Yeah, but

I fell for their ass.

Oh, you're the dopey American because you bought their sales.

I bought a $15 little bottle of lotion that I did not need because there wasn't a mosquito in that fucking tour.

It was the equivalent of paying your taxes with iTunes cards.

That's how dope you looked in front of everyone.

But you know what?

I mean, they just lied to you.

What you did was the completely appropriate response:

well, if I'm going to go in there and there's mosquitoes, I'd rather have this salve to chase them off.

All right, I got rooked.

I'm a fucking tourist.

Were you wearing black?

Yeah.

Oh, she saw

from a mile away.

She saw me acting like

she saw me acting, and I'll quote my daughter, Alicia, like a 10-year-old jerk.

Because I was like, I was having a meltdown.

They could see you a mile away and you were a pigeon and

you think you know everything.

They use the term pigeon?

Yes.

That is genius.

That's some old-time.

Oh, it must be Walt.

Give him some more Sev.

Wow.

Where did they even learn that term?

I don't know.

Probably from him.

Or from me.

Definitely.

That is.

I don't know.

That would be tough.

I would

fuck pouting.

I definitely was acting like

I wasn't going to fly into a rage because I could see the I could

see the temperature or feel the temperature of the room.

And everybody was just like, my mother-in-law was there too.

So I didn't want to.

What did she get a vote?

Yeah, well.

I only thought it was the girls.

So

I didn't want to go into a full meltdown, so I just went into like pouty bitch.

This will show.

Like kicking the ground and being standoffish and that

this is fun.

Vacation's great.

So glad I came.

But we also did this on island.

Like, it was so awesome.

Like, I didn't see anything on the trip that really looked like when you see like a postcard or when you see a like a commercial.

Whereas the port when you were returning.

Like when you see a commercial for these island

vacations, you see like very tropical and beautiful.

It looks like white sands.

Yeah, it looks like a paradise.

Yeah.

Only once did that happen, and it was on this island where there's no people live but just horses and the horse trainers.

We took a horseback riding, never been on a horse before, none of us.

So we decided we're going to get a horse.

They don't

have like, they don't care about safety in the same way that Americans do.

Like in America.

Which is to say at all.

They are just like, they're a real like kind of like, fuck it, let's go, let's do it kind of attitude on the islands.

And so we're getting on horses, never been on them before.

We take this trail, and we're going to eventually get on to the beach.

And when you get on the beach, the water is an unbelievable color.

And you pass right by your boat that's in the distance, your cruise ship.

So you get this picture of the horses

with the backdrop of the beautiful water and the ocean liner behind you.

Oh, it's cool.

It's an amazing picture, an amazing.

But when as we entered the beach, this line of horses, before that, though,

infected with zika

before that though like we've never been on a horse before so we had when you take to horseback it's like 15 people in a row i'm the one i'm the last person in the line and i didn't get enough riding time either everybody got to do laps and stuff and kind of accumulate with their horse yeah i didn't get a chance to do that i just had to get on and go um

but we have uh three people three riders who've ride with you and they're telling you what to do and they're like he kept he kept calling me poppy he kept saying poppy kick your horse you're so slow he kept going and i'm like oh I told you, I've never been on a horse before.

I don't really want to go fast.

So I'm barely hanging on as it is.

I said, and he goes, and he starts laughing at me.

And then

that makes my girls laugh at me because now he's there.

This horse, this professional is laughing at me.

Right.

They got to pick somebody.

They got to.

Every group they're picking somebody, and it's usually probably an older white dad that they're like, look at this goofball.

Yeah.

So you were the fucking mark for sure.

But then at a certain point, you were the pigeon.

Yeah.

They go around a corner and I'm the last person and I can't see what they're doing.

That's all anyone hears when you talk.

The only one who listens is us and get them.

We can translate.

I hear the professional rider tell my daughter to give the horse a little kick.

And then all of a sudden I hear him go, honey, pull back, honey, pull back.

Panic in his voice.

And it makes my heart drop because I'm like, what can I do?

I'm on a horse.

I can't do anything.

This is about to become an America's funniest home video where it like kicks her off, and like they're not funny at all.

Funny, this could kill her, right?

Like,

most of those early videos are not funny in the least.

You're way higher than you think you are.

Like, we're not on the beach yet, so they're huge.

A horse is huge, yeah.

So, we're not on the beach yet.

So, if you fall, you could really have helmets on, but you could seriously get injured, you could potentially even die.

So, I'm like

panic because I'm like, why is he screaming at her to pull back?

And I come around the corner because my horse is so fucking slow.

I come around.

What a glue stick.

Glue stick.

Fucking nag.

And she's okay.

And I asked her, I go, what happened?

And she goes, he said, the horse just took off on her.

Just started running.

And she was barely hanging on for, like, she said, she really thought she was going to fall.

I've seen her arms.

Yeah, they're like kids.

She's pretty thin.

As thin as this wire to the mic.

And so we.

What are you holding on to?

Are there saddles and shit?

Are you guys riding bareback?

No, we're on saddles, and we got reins and everything and everything.

So we get on, we enter the beach, though, and we're all in a line, or and we get on that beach, and you see that view.

It can only be described as like, I really expected to see, because we have horses, beach, water,

the destroyed Statue of Liberty.

That's what it looked like.

It was that beautiful.

That's all it was missing.

I told the guys, you guys should build a prop, a replica of the Statue of Liberty, and put that there.

Did they know what you were talking about?

They had no idea what I was talking about.

Poppy, mind your mosquito bites.

You are all fucked up.

But we had a good time, though.

But I'm still dealing with a lot of sea legs or land legs now.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

How many days has it been?

Seven days I was on it.

No, since you've been off?

Two.

Oh, okay.

So I'm feeling like I've got like when I close my eyes or at a certain moment, I don't know what's going to come, I start getting all busy and shit.

What activities were there?

Like on the IJ cruise, there's all kinds of stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, I got a feeling that the IJ cruise put the ship I was on to shame.

There was nothing.

There was nothing.

At one point.

No space monkeys, no Sean Klush.

The big activity of the day, which filled the audio, because we were there early for bingo.

We had to get everybody was like, we got to get to bingo an hour early.

Hour early.

Like on something they would something they would never never play here, ever.

But like, we got to get us

an hour early.

So, we got to be privileged to sit in on the QA of the cruise director.

You could just ask him any question you wanted.

That was the big entertainment of the day.

The QA of the cruise director?

It was nuts.

And people were, as soon as his QA was done, half the room left.

And then the bingo players were there.

Oh, my God.

So can you imagine that?

What were the questions?

Like, what did people ask?

What kind of cabin do you have?

How did you get the job?

What did you want to do when you grew up when you grew up?

Did you want to be a cabin

cruise director when you were growing up?

What did you do before this?

So he's the cabin.

What's your favorite song?

Really?

Yes.

It was torturous.

Really?

Pigeon coop.

And

I'm real gun shy.

Did you ask any questions?

No, I'm gun-shy about making any kind of disparaging remarks at this point because I've already been told I'm the most annoying person.

How do you know if you have Zika?

Does this mosquito bite look infected?

So I just kept myself.

Is my annoying?

If you had to pick the most annoying person, right?

He's like, I'm sorry.

Why are you walking like that?

And then you stayed for bingo?

Stayed for bingo.

My mother-in-law won $600.

Whoa.

I couldn't go because I had the Leaf or the Con, but the VFW bios has bingo.

Right.

And I'm thinking of going down there and recording it for Patreon

to see if I get anything.

You know, there might be something down there.

Oh, that'd be funny.

$600?

That's not bad.

$600, fucking free.

Really?

Yeah, we were.

You ain't reporting that for taxes either.

That was one in International Waters, baby.

Yeah.

You don't have to report it.

Nice.

So we were like

when she called Bingo, because it was the big jacket.

She just do IJ in international waters.

Do you guys play bingo on the IJ?

No, we do like poker tournaments and stuff.

They might have bingo.

I'm sure they have bingo a little bit.

When you guys don't call the bingo?

That's a good question.

Let me find out.

I told my daughters, I started my story about how I used to throw the bingo games for the seniors that I liked.

We heard that story a million times.

We heard it on the last cruise.

What is going on?

They don't even give you the respect of being like, he's run out of stories.

Let's just let him tell this one again.

So, I mean, I think that's a product of my girls getting older.

Sucks, right?

They're not as entertained by

their pop-up or poppy anymore.

Your poppy, yeah.

Did they start calling you a poppy, I hope?

Hi, poppy.

Well, that's a genetic thing I read.

That

when kids hit a certain age, they're supposed to,

it's like an evolutionary thing.

They are

designed to get annoyed by the parents, to leave and form their own.

Oh, like throwing them out of the nest.

Yes.

Flight or flight.

It's an evolution.

It's a flight or flight.

Yep.

Where they're like, fuck it.

And then they go and they start their own families.

My girls are good at it.

Yeah, they really shunned me and told me I was annoying.

They're good at the flight.

But you never got to the point where they actually told you that you're annoying.

Well,

I said, so I asked them, I said, I go, why are you guys like, you guys are acting as if I'm the most annoying person on this whole cruise, like you are.

Yeah, funny I should mention that.

So then I would be like, oh, look at this guy over here.

I'll be pointing to some stranger, but like, you can't tell me I'm not more, that that guy's not more annoying than me.

Look at him.

That's a priest.

He's acting all fucking bag big.

He's got a drink in his hand.

He's got his favorite song.

Drinking.

Yeah.

I'll say, yeah, you were judging other people, and they didn't agree.

Because they're like laughing so loud.

Everything that the cruise director says, they're laughing as if it's like.

Then he's done it again.

Yes.

And I'm like, come on, that guy's an idiot.

Look at me.

Cruise director?

No, the guy that was laughing as if he had heard the greatest joke ever told.

So a guy who's just just enjoying his vacation.

He's just like, look at him.

Pigeon nest.

I was desperate, girl.

I was just trying to find one person that they would say

I was not more annoying than.

Turned out it wasn't.

Like, he knows how to have fun.

That's what they said.

Do you think you don't know how to have fun?

Because I think a lot of times I don't.

I don't either.

I think Ming's good at it.

Ming's great at it.

Like, my daughter says that she's going over a friend's house, and we say, well, who's going to be there?

Is her parents going to be there?

She goes, no, her parents are going out.

She probably won't be home until late.

She goes out and has fun.

I said, what is that supposed to mean?

She goes out and has fun.

What, like, me and mom don't go out and have fun?

She goes, no, you guys don't.

Exactly.

She goes, no, you guys don't.

You go in and watch TV and then you fall asleep.

Like, what is she doing?

That's so funny.

It's a ball.

Look, you got to understand something.

There's nothing more fun than that at 50.

So, like, yeah, I found out that I'm also not even fun now either.

Wow.

They'll learn that, though.

Going out.

Yeah, in 40 years, they'll figure it out for themselves.

They'll come to your grave and apologize.

When you're 90, they'll be like, I get it.

You're like,

and then just drop dead.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

it's wasted

society.

Dear man,

they're sleeping for the fucking docket.

There's the truth.

It's only one percent of everyone on turning.

Destroy the green.

God without stretching.

As the fires burn intoxication right down while the masses crew are boring and taking

like poisoning.

All insulting in the sound and wall.

What should you ever see?

Drove the people to inside the

team.

The flames fought fire, progressing.

Burn from the ants, absolute affirmative.

This room is burning down.

Right down was the wife of Conversion with the bodies of the dead and of a dying party.

Out in hand,

just to win us to play.

Was it close and far with those who were everything that was it?

Those who did not be for fire, but assets of the rest of the deep

dance for me.

As this story shows what we're doing, I will be blowing down the pine mark.

You should regress it.

We live that long.

It's all repeating this far.

This isn't intoncy.

The playful spoilers do not carry

the charity.

Only the salt and light by day

is Rome is burning down.

This is a touch of our

sing.

The wing won't

seem not guaranteed.

Electric private travel

team.

We're warmly resulting from every day.

Corruption in the rock was the seed.

The breath won to its last equality.

The flesh marks fire, my closest thing.

Burn the way I touch

into my death.

Rome is burning down.

This room is burning down.

This world is is burning down.

This world is burning down.

This home is burning down.

This world is burning down.

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