#359: Blue Ballz 4 Kidz

Somebody said you want to meet Tim Tebow.

Somebody said it through a glory hole.

Could you be a tailor, Q in another life?

Could you see yourself working in fabric?

What's that one flavor that really makes you go, glad I got taste buds?

Mike and Magma likes salt.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

What a night, Q.

Is it?

December 7th.

No, not tonight.

Tonight's meaningless.

Yeah, I was about to say today's not really exciting.

I got a

on my birthday, I got a text from Walt Flanagan.

I'm curious about

your feeling on this philosophy.

It came at

2:50 in the morning, I think.

Hold on a second.

It was pretty late.

I was late down.

I was going to bed, and I was like, I realized, looked through my

phone, and realized

the date had turned over from the 6th to the 7th, three hours prior.

And I remembered it was Brian's birthday.

So he got it out of the way early.

Yeah, I was like, you know, we take care of this now.

So don't worry about it tomorrow.

But what if he wakes up?

Ah, fuck it.

You don't turn your phone off?

No, of course not.

So you let me know.

Actually,

I sleep with your buds in.

So whose fault is that?

Someone texts you.

So I didn't know that person.

I think the person who should know, you don't text people at at 3 in the morning.

There's a texting protocol?

I wasn't aware of that.

Oh, absolutely.

I mean, it's probably the same harbor as.

A phone call?

There's a phone call, sure.

No way.

It can't be on the same pharmacy.

It's an interruption.

But it can't be.

It's an interruption.

It doesn't mean that there's a phone call.

If I called you at 3 o'clock in the morning, be like, hey,

happy birthday.

That would be a lot different than a text.

It would be.

It doesn't mean either are appropriate at 3 in the morning.

Like, one's just slightly more inappropriate than the other, right?

As far as the time?

No, I don't mind.

I don't know.

I personally don't mind.

You text text me, you text me.

If you were texting like your tailor at fucking 3 a.m., it might be weird, but you're fucking long time.

Well, that was probably his next text to his tailor.

Yeah.

I got the tailor away at midnight.

Not too long.

I think midnight's even too late to be texting the tailor.

Yeah.

Oh, the tailor.

Yeah.

You know what?

I subscribe to the theory: if, you know what?

If

you have a phone and you don't want to be disturbed by a text, then silence it then.

But what if, just like your regular home phone, what if someone calls?

Yeah, like what if there was some sort of emergency or somebody really needed to get a hold of you?

Okay,

it's possible, but I would think, is there such thing as emergency text?

If it's an emergency,

call them on the phone then.

So you're saying shut off my text alert.

Silence the text alert, but not the ringer.

Leave the ringer on.

That would make it alert.

Do you even do that?

I think so.

Yeah, I guess you can shut off alerts.

Oh, yeah, you can go to messages and just no alert.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's my fault.

You know, I apologize.

I guess it won't begin to text with her 51st birthday.

No, because I'll be dead.

No tailor?

What would I ever need for a tailor?

I don't know.

I don't know.

You don't get anything tailored?

Never.

Never had anything tailored in my life.

Never hemmed?

Nothing.

No stitch?

Well, maybe, like, maybe when my mom had jeans or something back in the day, if they were a little bit too long, she'd

pin them up or something.

It's been a long time.

It's been a long, long time since I've had a hem in anything.

Taylor's got to be a dying industry, right?

Except for upper echelon dudes.

Like people who work in b in business suits and I don't think so.

I think tailors will are kind of an evergreen thing.

Yeah, you think?

Where's it like the nearest tailor and mom?

How many tailors in Months County do you think?

Well, you got that Chinese

one up the the block near the post office.

Are they still around?

That's a dry cleaners, right?

Yeah, but they have tailors that work in there.

Oh, okay.

So, you mean you just can't make a living just being on the tailor.

You got to offer the dry cleaning and the

cleaners.

Commonly, yeah, but I but I, you know, and obviously your city centers, there'll be dedicated tailors.

It's got to be

boring.

Anywhere

there's a Macy's or a,

it's a rich man's, uh, is keeping those guys.

I don't know if Macy's or anything.

I don't know if that's considered rich.

Rich suits.

No, it definitely is not.

You're only getting suits at this point tailored, right?

No one's getting their normal everyday clothing.

No, Mingoch is tailored, right?

I get jeans hemmed.

You do?

Otherwise, they drag into the heel and they get all the fucking dirt and piss from urinals and shit on them.

So you go in with your jeans on and he does.

If they need them, I don't do it

as a jean comes in.

I'm like, here we go to the tailor.

Mostly I go in my underwear.

But if I put them on and they're a little long, yeah, then I'll then I'll get them.

Is this again,

like I said, the rich man's keeping the tailor afloat?

I mean, come on, how many people do you think are going to get their jeans?

Most people altered.

I think any pair of pants that don't fit, that are too long, people get fixed.

If I were to say to you that I would wager that 9.9%

of the listening audience has never had their jeans altered by a tailor, would you think that that was outright outlandish?

Would you think that percentage wasn't high enough?

You're drilling down the jeans only or like pants in general?

I will not say suits.

I'm trying to.

Anything outside of suits?

I'm talking leisure wear.

Leisure wear, yeah.

So

just pants for the day.

Be it jeans, be it a khaki, be it

could get a belt

and hike it up.

And hike it up.

Do you think only less than 10% of the audience

would get a fix in the event that it it was dragging on the ground I know that I wouldn't well how expensive are your jeans Q

how much a Levi's

like 50 bucks yeah

you pay just as much for the alteration then probably

um no not really I mean maybe that's why you've been staying out of Taylor's I think it mounts like seven dollars or something like that oh you don't go your jeans on and he does a little he does with the chalk and shit he does a put his hand on and ask where you're where you lean or where you're

you're still thinking about that other it's just the suit company the suit company or the other what was the place that member fall

you're talking about like like if i was getting the jeans like all like cut open and re-altered and shit but no this is just a hem okay they just pin them up and so what you're run you like six six seven bucks how does a tailor stay in business then that's all maybe more people are going than you think no i'm sure it like mostly it's not jeans it's suits and shit yeah i would say so i've gotten shirts like shirts that i liked tailored like if i bought them and they were too big, then I would go and take them in.

They never really fit the same, though.

After it's been tailored?

Yeah, it just doesn't have to be the same thing.

They're not going to fit the same since you got them tailored.

Well, no, no, no.

I mean, like, as when I grew down into them.

Wait, what?

Wait, what?

That's what a tailor does?

Could you be a tailor, Q, in another life?

Could you see yourself working in fabric?

No, that's not true.

I don't think that's something that I've ever.

How does your members have?

I've never been a fabric, man.

I see your members on the left.

Let's make it right.

You can make a move to the right for the right price.

I know seven bucks.

Regular hem, seven dollars.

Where's my tailor shot?

Hen plus, ten dollars

on Stonewall Street, Manhattan?

Where is it?

It's in an alley behind the tailor.

You've tricked people into thinking you're the tailor.

I got like a team measure around my neck, nothing else.

You said the same thing about cobblers, though.

You said cobblers are a

dying breed.

Well, yeah, I think anybody who works in these

old world

professions are

far and few between now once they were back in the turn of the century.

I went to a cobbler on Broad Street not too long ago.

I mean, I'm sorry, Monmouth Street.

For what shoes did you need work on?

These boots right here.

I got heels put on because I mean, because the

wait, these aren't the ones.

No, I got new heels put on these because they were like the way I walk, they drag down and shoot.

How long do you do your

heels last?

These,

certainly longer than if Ming gets his hands on a pair of heels, but

I guess,

I don't know, like maybe eight months, ten months, somewhere around there.

If I wear them a lot.

If I don't wear them a lot.

Well, how much does a new heel cost?

I think it was like

$70.

$70?

Yeah, some people like those boots are like $400 something.

Damn.

I'm going to die with these boots on.

Yeah, he's died with his boots on.

Wait, how much did you say his boots were?

These are like $450,

but I like them.

I wear them all the time.

I've worn them for years.

You better love them, not like them.

I just hate them.

But also, like, I got some patches sewn on my vest.

Yeah.

It's like $10 a patch.

Those are so expensive.

No matter how big or small the patch, it's $10.

I'm like, this is fucking crazy.

Like, you want six patches sewn on?

It's going to cost you $60?

Yeah, patches.

They're more expensive than the Heming.

Like, I don't get it.

Yeah, I had Giddam sew some patches on for me.

He finally did it?

No, well, that was the first wave, and then

I thought I had my Taylor.

And then

I went patch crazy on eBay buying all these great patches, and they're still not on my bag.

You barely have a comic book store worker.

You think you can get a tailor out of the bag?

Oh, this is early on when I first hired him.

And he was like a young go-getter, and he was like, I'll get those patches on, sir.

And then he got lazy and

comfortable.

Overly comfortable.

He was already lazy.

He was just like easing you into it.

Yeah.

So it's been over.

I'm sure there's plenty of listeners who'd jump the chance to sew my patches on.

Maybe there's a tailor.

Maybe there's some tailor.

You know who does it?

The guy, Bruce, the guy who makes the patches, the guy you normally do the patches with, his girlfriend or wife, I can't remember which one, she sews patches on.

So she could be your tailor.

You mail your shit to her.

I mean, she's just did it for him, you mean?

I mean, she's like,

no, he told me that she does it.

She can do it.

Well, this is on leather, so if she can do it on leather, I'm assuming she can do it.

That might be why they're more expensive because everything I've had sewed on has been leather.

Yeah.

I bet you that is.

It's probably a leather up charge.

Yeah, right?

Who would you rather be cue?

A guy who works on on heels?

I don't think it's called Cobbler.

What's it called?

Yeah, it's Cobbler.

Cobbler or

Taylor?

If you had the Evie.

Probably Taylor.

I think in my own life, there'd be a wider benefit range than just hammering on

heels.

Yeah.

Both would be pretty mundane, huh?

Can never really get exciting, huh?

I mean, what's the...

Not like a comic book store.

I don't know why.

What do you make of it?

Yeah, I know

it is all how you uh

how you treat the day, how you gr how you uh how you conquer the day.

Yeah, it says a lot about, you know, how uh

how your day is going to go,

it's all attitude, but I would have to think

just

doing just putting heels on shoes would become pretty mind-numbing.

And uh

it would be it would not be a job, I think, that.

I mean, do I work for someone else or am I have my own shop?

Well, maybe you start out as an apprentice and then maybe like thirty years later you get to open your own space.

So, when I'm 71, you're living on subsidence wages for 30 years.

You just don't roll right into your own place.

You got apprenticing takes time.

Yeah, that learned your whole trades, man.

I don't know about it.

The apprentice part, I don't think I could do, but if I had my own shop set up, I looked at a couple of YouTube videos how to do this shit, and I just sat there all day and chilled out until someone walked in and hammered a pair of heels on it, I'd be all right with it.

Yeah, like a cobbler apprentice or a tailor apprentice seems like that seems like a thing of the past.

Yeah.

Unless you grow up in that, like if your dad's a tailor or something, then maybe you grow up in that.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know how the tailor world works.

Secretive.

It's like the Illuminati kind of.

I don't think it's secretive at all.

I just think nobody, everybody just stopped giving a fuck about it.

Like, keep your secret, bitch.

That's interesting to hear you say that, though, because the text that came in at 3 in the morning, which is well past the acceptable time, was happy birthday.

You're 50 years young.

Now, Young was in capitals.

I wanted to make sure I was

an optimistic motherfucker at 3 in the morning.

Yeah.

Yeah, you were going for like

a north.

I want to make sure he.

He's basically making fun of you.

Oh, I know.

Even in the haze of fucking being half asleep, I got it.

Well, isn't that all about a mindset?

I mean, if you, if you,

and I've heard people say this,

it's mind over matter.

It's it's everything about how you treat your age if you let it

rule you, right?

If that were true, then no one would ever die.

Because there's some pretty positive people out there that are like, I don't care if I'm 110.

Well, I don't think it's about like being immortal.

It's about accepting the changes that come with like dignity and grace.

Right.

Yeah.

I accepted those changes 30 years ago.

Grace and Dignity Park.

But I think he's getting that, buddy.

We welcome the challenge of your age now.

You know, showing the world that what a, you know, shattered.

Don't count me out yet.

You look better than you have in them.

Since 40.

You got to shatter preconceived notions of what a 50-year-old man can do.

Okay.

In what way?

What am I doing that anyone?

Well, that's the thing.

I think mostly people will be like, we've seen guys older than you do this.

Why are you boasting?

What's with the braggadocio?

Well, I mean, that's for you to figure out.

Like, what is something that, like, I can't believe he did that at, you know, at that at his age?

That's, you know, and you definitely not a serial killer because everyone would believe a white guy in their 50s.

You know, I guess you just find that thing that, like, most people would be like, I can't believe he did that at 50.

Look at that.

He's a junior apprentice to a tailor at 50.

He's defying the, you know, the definitions of his age.

So like that Marky Mark movie where

he becomes a football player?

Oh, Invincible?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, how old was he?

Like, 30-something?

I don't know if it was the age so much.

It wasn't his age that was the reason why he defied the odds.

It was because he was a walk-on.

He came in for a tryout.

He had never played football before.

Oh, he never played before?

No.

Never played organized football, and he made the special teams squad.

What special teams?

What does that mean?

Kickoffs.

Like, you go down and you like on a kickoff.

So

he's on the team then.

I didn't see the movie.

It was in the 70s.

I don't know the seven.

I mean, I don't think it could ever be done today in the world of specialized scouting and everything that you're just going to have.

First off, no team's ever going to have just tryouts where anybody can just show up and have a tryout.

It's not going to happen, I guess, maybe for insurance reasons also.

And it's like, why are we bothering with Lego?

Who are we really going to find?

I mean,

all the upper elite athletes

were in school.

We would have seen them.

There's not a chance that there's some guy working in a bar that could make the team.

And they're not like, well, it happened in the 70s, though.

It happened.

It happened.

It happened.

I mean, you could.

I mean, I wouldn't say professional football, but there's definitely semi-pro football that would probably have to open try it so you can go and do it.

Why am I playing football?

I never played football in my life.

I can't throw a spiral.

I have a fake knee.

That is defying the fucking.

You're writing your own story right now.

Can't I just be the fucking 50-year-old guy who wins the lottery?

Because that's way more likely

than me being like, I'm here.

Sure, I'm 50, but 50 years young.

I was introduced briefly to Tim Tebow the other night, Walt.

You met Tim Tebow?

Yeah.

Where?

In Manhattan.

We were at the same place, and somebody said, you want to meet Tim Thibault?

Somebody said it through a glory hole.

From our discussions of him.

So that was your only, that was your only, that was your, your real,

your only introduction to Tim Deepow was from Tim Tebow, was from what I had said.

Really?

But I rarely ever say hello to people.

Like, when I get that, I almost never go.

But I was like, oh, yeah.

And they were like, hey, Tim, this is the guy from Practical,

huge.

The guy's fucking enormous.

He never looked at it to me.

Maybe because he he was always fucking kneeling in that position or whatever.

He did play on one knee.

Yeah,

he was big.

If he wanted to meet you in the bathroom and you came in, he was on one knee.

Are you suspicious?

What type of bathroom?

It was like a single-person bathroom.

He's a virgin, Brian.

Oh, good for him.

Does he have that tailor?

Why don't people brag about that when they're older?

Hey, guess what?

I don't get any pussy.

I've never gotten any pussy.

Like, who the fuck cares?

He's still a virgin.

Yeah.

Then he's gay.

He's not married.

Then he's gay.

No, he's not.

He's gay.

Do you?

Just be gay.

There's nothing wrong with a Tim Tebow.

The guy's like 40 years old.

He's like, I'm still a virgin.

Fuck you.

He can't be religious.

Right.

Let me see how old he is.

No, he can be religious, but that's like next-level religion where it's like, bro, come on.

It is.

He could do everything.

Yeah, because fucking sex and women have brought so much joy into your life.

That is Tim Tebow missing out.

Right, you're right.

Have you ever had an orgasm that you haven't regretted two seconds after you had it?

It's still Sunday.

I should go to church.

I know, not just you, like everybody.

Yeah.

I was talking to one of the guys on my crew about this recently.

Like,

almost every orgasm is just like an instant regret.

Oh, what?

I can't believe you're saying that.

Yeah.

Why would you say?

Why?

Well, what would you do?

He's fucking.

I think it was Finoia.

He's 30 years old.

Fuck you.

He's 30.

Don't confuse being a virgin with being a celibate, though.

Okay.

So what does that mean?

Oh,

he can do other things.

He just can't do that act.

Okay.

So what religion is he that this caveat was introduced, you know, probably 10, 20 years ago?

Well,

there's no caveat.

There's always caveats.

That's the

virgin.

Catholicism is the fucking penetration.

That's what that's.

Can he fuck the ass?

You know what I'm talking about.

No,

you're just trying to be a smart ass.

Trying to be provocative.

my new thing at 50.

Yeah, I actually got to talk to you about that.

You're provocative.

I'm actually being too provocative.

When you

it's called, what's it called?

I guess it's called,

what's it called?

When you jerk off?

Give up?

No, when you just do stuff in the car.

Want to die.

Petting.

He can pet.

He could do some heavy petting?

Heavy, real heavy petting.

Under the jock strap?

Can she,

I mean, I don't know what the rules are, man.

Because remember there was that spade of stories about teenagers having anal because it circumvented the

urban myth.

Just like the

parties with the colored bands.

Aren't they put on by porno studios?

Well, yeah, it is on you porn.

Put on?

We're putting on the show.

Without a porno show?

How are your porn programs doing?

But is his

strict.

You know what?

and I, you know, I should be, I should really talk a little inside my mouth here because I'm not sure if he's still maintaining he's

a virgin.

He was not around any women when I saw him.

There were no women around him?

Yeah.

Well, did you see him in a gay bar?

Because it's probably where he would hang out, right?

What were you doing at a gay bar?

I mean, the drinks are pretty cheap there.

Then fuck it.

I don't see.

Eisen trophy, but nobody likes Tim T.

Nobody wants him anymore, right?

Yeah, because he was too outspoken.

Did he go to baseball?

He tried baseball.

Because nobody wants to hear about your fucking religion.

Throw a ball.

That's what people care about.

That's what you're good at.

Throw a fucking ball.

Otherwise, go preach.

Why?

But other people are allowed to preach.

No, nobody should be preaching.

These guys at the end, like, oh, thank, mom, mother, I want to thank God, Jesus, and blah, blah, blah.

That's preaching?

And all that other shit.

Yes.

It's like, fuck you.

Like, yeah, Jesus gives a fuck.

God gives a fuck if you guys win or throw a fucking ball the right way or kick a fucking thing, like kick a ball through these two fucking posts.

Whatever the fuck.

Yeah.

Me and Tim Tebow are both gay because I don't know about football.

They're a bunch of fucking morons.

If you really believe that, with all this shit going on in this world, that God gives a fuck about you winning or that you're somehow selected to be a great football player, you're a fucking moron.

You're stupid.

You don't think people are blessed?

No.

No, I don't think that's really blessed.

Such as?

Giddam?

I think Tom Brady's been blessed.

Who's trying to bust

natural ability?

Well, with looks, ability.

I mean, the guy never, the

cat Ming Chen.

Yeah.

Let's go on, bud.

Talk about a guy getting his shit tailored.

He's a fashionable motherfucker right here.

It's a free jacket from Deathwish Coffee.

Thanks.

It's nice.

Thanks.

What's going on, pal?

What's up?

Did you guys get started?

Yeah.

Oh, we got a crew coming on here.

They're going to tattoo me.

Here

well, pretty soon we'll be doing a live tattoo of Yang.

Yeah,

What kind of tattoo are you getting?

There's a guy, he was on a TV show tattooing.

He's a foremost Star Wars portrait artist.

But I didn't want to get Star Wars.

Everyone's getting Star Wars, so I'm going to do Back to Future Flexibaster.

Oh, wow.

All right.

Why in

the middle of the market?

They're shooting a thing.

They're trying to get a TV show going, so they wanted the backdrop.

There's a guy I know from Walker Stalker from a long time ago.

Ah, long time ago.

They used to be on a TV show called Epic.

It's very sanitary.

No,

hey, man, it's not the first time I've been tattooed.

This is true.

This is a

tattoo.

I think probably to do it on the arm somewhere.

Yeah.

Where should he get it?

Walt, I guess.

Yeah, where should I get it?

I can see the gears turning.

I mean, I wouldn't get it anywhere, to be honest with you.

I know.

Well, we've seen that.

Anyways, carry on, carry on.

There you go, man.

You've been judged for the day.

A flux capacitor.

Yeah.

He loves it.

What's wrong with it?

He's a pop culture junkie.

It's not like the TESD tattoo he got.

No, no, that's not stupid.

Well, that has definitely more

juice than a flux capacitor.

I know everybody instantly recognizes the flux capacitor, but it's also instantly recognized as a tool.

You're a dope.

So is me.

Because you're like, look how much I love Back to the Future.

Well, couldn't you say that about literally any tattoo?

Not ones that look really great, like that are really artistic and really

any kind of pop culture tattoo.

Yeah, you can almost say that about anything like, oh, here's Spider-Man.

Yeah.

Hey,

I love Spider-Man.

I love Superman.

Oh, sorry, Kill.

I didn't get that Superman one.

I was waiting.

But really, you're just naming shit he loves.

Spider-Man, too?

No, I don't know.

Okay.

Well, at least you don't have Spider-Man.

Except for the last one, because it was so woke.

People are saying that

he's asked about the status of his purity.

He's still unmarried, like you say.

How have you managed to avoid all these thoughts out here?

What's a thought, Q?

Do you know that?

What's a thought?

Thought.

Oh, wait a second.

Oh, wait.

For those unfamiliar with the term thoughts, Urban Dictionary can furnish you.

Tim Tebow never answered.

It's a new word.

What is thoughts?

I'm about to look it up for you.

Tim Tebow avoided the question.

He doesn't want to.

Here's one answer.

That might be an indication that he may have.

Yeah, but hey, who let he who hasn't sinned catch the first stone?

Wait, what?

He says he won't answer the question.

That's not sinning.

Sorry, well, the reason he's not answering is because he probably sinned.

Oh, you think he tagged a thought?

Which is, a woman who pretends to be the type of valuable female commodity who rightfully earns male commitment until the man discovers she's just a cheap imitation of a good girl who is good only for mindless sex, not relationships or respect.

I I mean, does that seem redundant?

Hold on one second.

I'm confused by the definition because in FFT.

It's a girl who you get tricked by.

Like, she's like, I'm good.

I'm good in all these ways.

But then it turns out, like, oh, wait, no, she isn't.

She just tricked me.

And she's not worthy of respect.

This is what I'm saying.

Because the end of it takes a real weird turn.

Well, it's urban dictionary.

It's not.

T-H-O-T.

A woman who pretends to be the type of valuable female commodity rightfully earns male commitment, rightfully earns.

If women are products, then thoughts are cheap goods.

More than that, they're knockoffs, low-quality merchandise that attempts to masquerade as luxury.

All right.

So basically, what every guy has done throughout history is pretend they're more valuable than they are and that they're worthy of a relationship or respect.

All right.

It's about time you girls got yours.

Wow.

You've been coasting for too long.

What a thought.

Right?

How long before?

So he's saying, so the guy's asking, how have you avoided all these skanks and shit?

Basically, it's a skank, it seems, right?

Okay.

How has he done it, Walt?

He's just Tim.

Tim Tubo.

He's the parlance of our times.

Yeah.

Inner strength.

Inner strength.

The guy's got to be so disciplined to become a professional athlete, so you know he's got the discipline to do that.

So I believe with that kind of

intestinal fortitude,

you can achieve practically anything.

Yeah, some shit, it's like, why the fuck would you want to achieve it?

Fucking feels good.

Boy or girl, it doesn't matter, right?

Right, Maine?

What?

Boy or girl?

No, what feels good?

Getting lane?

Yeah.

Like banging somebody.

So it's just like,

what do you think?

What do you mean?

One purpose of it is to feel good.

Yeah.

So you procreate.

Like, that's it.

But like, what is Tim Tim Tebow proving by not banging a thought?

Exactly.

But that was Q's point to begin with.

But for then, for a guy who's like, you know, he wants to remain pure

for religious reasons, it's, you know, I mean,

the aftermath of like, you know, giving in has got to be devastating.

No, because I think when you first start, isn't it a little bit more exciting?

Like,

it's like you got to get everything beat out of you.

Yeah, but I'm talking about when it's you,

when the realization that

you just gave in to Satan.

Satan.

There has to be

a feeling inside.

If you're Tim Tebow.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

But, you know, he's just a man, so he's going to justify it in his head somehow.

But

the guilt must have been

pretty, pretty brutal, though.

And, you know, he has to atone for that in some way, I imagine.

At this point, it's going to be great when he dies, and there's no God, and there's no heaven, and all this is all the time.

You know all the answers.

I don't know.

You know, and Tim Cheebo's stupid.

And

crooked house, and he's living on fucking.

Because he's gifted.

I mean, he's blessed.

Hashtag blessed.

I didn't get blessed.

I'll take his position.

People want me on their football team as much as they want Tim Cheebo on their football team.

I'm kind of off with that one.

But he's not playing, right?

He's not on any team.

Nobody wants him.

No, he's not.

He's a regular old schmuck, just like me.

At 30.

He's not, but he's certainly not a regular.

He's regular.

What does he do?

He's talking to Q in the bathroom.

Yeah, but he's still giving these inspirational speeches.

He's still making a difference in the world.

Making money.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, is he?

He's still doing his.

He's giving inspirational speeches.

Nobody gives that shit for free.

He's still doing his

going over to these poor, impoverished countries and giving a, you know, what are those people called when they go over there and

missions and stuff.

Do you know he's doing this stuff?

Are you just assuming

he's hoping?

So when somebody Googles it, they're like, well, a lot of facts out of nowhere all of a sudden.

Yeah.

Like he's working on some kind of Tim Tebow biography.

He seems to have all these in his info.

They should come out with the Tim Tebow challenge.

Like, you know, how long can you go without sex?

Yeah.

They did it on Seinfeld, yeah.

Yeah, without masturbating.

Yeah, well,

but who wants to take part in that challenge?

Who's like, I want to win?

Yeah, you won.

You lost.

I'm fine losing.

Well, it's supposed to be as long as you can go, Q, you think?

Can go?

Right now.

No, just because you're like, you know, just for the bet, and you're like, I want to win this bet.

What's a really good question?

What's your definition?

Is it Tim Tebow, like no penetration, but he can pet?

You can pet, Q.

You can pet Pet.

How can I do that?

Petting?

I can do that for...

I mean, at this point, I'd almost rather pet Q.

There's way less work involved.

It ends in the same place, and

everything's fine.

It's time for you to suck it now.

No, no, no.

Oh, that's not petting?

No, that's not petting.

What about handies?

Hand drop.

That's the definition of petting.

Can he come?

Can he finish?

Oh, my God.

Oh, well then, no.

What's a realistic window?

The most I've ever done in my life was six months, a six-month window.

Once I started.

For religious reasons?

No.

Dry spell.

He was in jail, and it was the second six months of the year.

The sisters got to him the first six months.

Sisters.

And they put me in a run, one room Hilton.

But let's say right now you took the Tim Tebow challenge there right on the spot, right in the house.

I wouldn't even bother because I'm not going to, I wouldn't win.

For charity, for a really great cause.

And how do you prove it like that?

It's all about honors.

Nah.

Or what about a sex chaperone like that hangs with Q 24-7 to make sure he doesn't fuck anybody?

It's a really hot chick.

Nah, nah, I wouldn't take that.

Well, you have to take it, but what's the realistic window?

Okay, realistically, I think I can get away with before I'm like.

A month?

I was going to say two.

Two months.

Two months.

Before I'm like, I don't care.

You're like poor starving Ethiopian children

are going to eat because the longer every...

Oh, no, I don't care about that.

What's my

send them some blue apron?

Print or some shit.

No, no, because every

like there's corporations matching every day to give a million dollars towards your charity.

Yeah, that's a million dollars a day, so in two months, if I've raised 60 million, I'm good.

Dude, you could do it for 10 days and still be a hero.

Yeah.

Now you're doing it for this.

Or would it get to the point that would it get to the point where you're just like, I've done it for two months.

If I did it for three months, yeah, you're talking like the world is like cheering you on every morning.

Everyone's like, he's got no pussy still.

It's awesome.

Did he pet?

He's not even petting anymore.

He checked in petting.

They kicked in an extra $5,000 a day if he stopped petting.

He's awesome.

Go, Q, go.

It's like going down the street, people are honking at you and going, yeah, Q, go for it.

Yeah, or don't go for it.

I do a press announcement.

I'd be like,

I'll do 10 more days and then it's over.

So,

you know.

Hashtag revirginized.

We've got to have a big party

where all you fucking.

It would be amazing if the pressure is on him not to fuck it.

People are like, come on, Q, don't do it.

What's your window?

What's your realistic window for charity?

Does it have to be for starving people?

Could it be for anything I want?

Well,

I think it's a noble cause is for charge

starving children in

Fourth World countries.

Skip the Third World or go to Fourth World.

Is there a Fourth World?

Fourth World's like, fuck, I wish I was Third World.

The new gods, Jack Kirby.

That was a comic

slip of the Third World.

It's like the most horrific third world country where they're eating fly larvae off of other kids.

I think it's a good thing.

It's good.

Because everyone else ate the flies already, such as the larvae.

Well, yeah, you're still in the running.

Yeah.

All right.

The only one he hasn't gotten there yet.

They're going, we got IJs.

Brian Quinn is on board for the revirginization.

And then everyone's like, wait, wait, who's the other guy?

Brian Johnson.

Again, who?

Bookman,

BQ's friend.

He's up.

Here's a picture of him.

It's like, oh, it's going to be really hard for him to give up, pussy.

No one's that crass.

The press is not that crass.

He's been a virgin for 50 years.

Like, oh, wow, now another two months is going to matter.

Realistic window that

you can at least tell the world.

You're like, I'm shooting for.

What's the time frame?

I'll bet you could go six months.

Six months?

I'm not allowed to jerk off or anything.

There's probably rules in place.

I would think that any spilling of the seed would be a violation of the rules.

Who's judging this?

Tim Tevo?

He's my 24-7 chaperone.

I'm like, Tim, is this cool?

Well, I mean, I think,

I just think it's on the honor system, and you're just like, you you know, I'm not going to, I'm not going to, I'm going to keep my

testes

full

for this many, for this window.

My balls are going to be bluer than you could ever imagine.

Blue balls for kids.

Blue balls for kids.

Balls with a Z.

Kids with a Z also.

So it's like, we got to change that.

That doesn't sound right.

That was a great cause.

Here's a press release.

He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait, wait, before you.

You said this out.

If I did,

blue balls for kids.

But I made each one of the kids a different color.

Yeah, I would definitely.

The letters are cockeyed.

Okay.

It's like Toys R S.

It's like Toys R S, except about getting no pussy.

Surely you see the parallel.

Okay, that's going to be harder.

No, I can't jerk off.

I can't spill my seed.

Just give me a window, a realistic window that you can pledge.

Then I'm going to go three months.

Three months?

You went from six down to three?

I can't jerk off.

I thought I could jerk off if it's six months.

You're that, like.

All this testosterone.

Oh, my fucking Chryslodonda?

My testosterone's through the room.

Can't you stop taking the pellets?

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

If you castrate yourself?

Yeah, like I'm a fucking sex offender or something.

I don't even do it to fucking child molesters.

I'm like, Tim, how familiar are you with

chemically castrating people?

It's for blue balls, which is.

It's irreversible.

Just call the clinic or you're going to be like, hey, I want to put a hold on the.

I'll need to put a cork in it.

Would it be harder for me, since I'm married, though, to justify this to my wife?

Wouldn't it affect your marriage?

Right.

I'd be like, what could I

go home and be like,

well, there's this new charity organization, Blue Balls for Kids on?

Given your past claims and boasting, I'm going to say less than a week.

Yeah.

She's just like, oh, well, it's a nice thought, but we all know you're bald.

Haven't been blue in over 20 years.

You could put a picture of a starving kid up in the bedroom, maybe to

help you to motivate me.

You know how fast I'd come?

Oh, yeah.

Look at that larva on his eye.

Speaking of starving kids, and you should send them Blue Apron Q because that way you can get puss and at the same time feed these kids.

All right.

Because they're the leading meal delivery.

God damn it.

They're the Blue Apron is the leading meal.

Blue Apron is the leading meal kit delivery service in the U.S.

And while many people

know what we do, many don't know about the types of meals you can cook.

I don't even want to read this.

I can't even read it.

Give it to me.

Oh, I can't read it.

You don't have my glasses.

Here, take these glasses.

I can't read it, man.

I'm like a marble mouse.

Oh, you want to read it?

Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country.

Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone.

Blue Apron achieves this by supporting a more sustainable food system, setting the highest standards for ingredients, and building a community of home chefs.

Just because you cook a Blue Apron, that don't make you a chef.

No, sorry, Blue Apron.

That's just not the case.

Why?

Because I think it does.

You have to go to school.

You're a home chef.

You're a colleague or something.

You just can't call yourself a chef.

That's an insult to self-people.

Self-teach yourself things.

If you watch a YouTube video, you're cobbling, you're tailoring.

They're not sending you meals, they're sending you the ability to make the meal.

So now you're a fucking emerald because you watch the fucking YouTube video?

Bam!

I'd say you're better than Emerald because you're actually cooking.

Whoa!

Throwing it down!

Oh, throwing it down against Emerald.

What?

That is some balls right there.

You remember when I said Emerald?

Who's the newest Hollywood feud, Q versus Emerald?

That guy ain't cooking no more.

That guy's running a multi-billion dollar empire.

Is he still rattling pants for people?

So, is there some sort of bad blood we didn't know about?

Something happened at one of the Emerald restaurants?

No.

Snub?

Oh, he snubbed him.

I wasn't snubbing him.

Probably fucking, what's his name?

Chandler Riggs was in the restaurant at the time.

No, I got no issues with him.

I'm just assuming he's not cooking much anymore.

Why would you assume that?

I mean, that's.

Well, just because you've reached the apex of your career, you're going to stop and practically joking with the guys?

Yeah.

Just because there's no camera there?

Can I stop?

Blue Apron offers three plans.

A two-person meal plan.

Perfect for two people.

Meals that serve two people choose from eight new recipes per week with a choice to receive either two or three recipes any week.

A family meal plan.

Meals that serve four people.

Choose from four new recipes per week with a choice to receive either two, three, or four recipes any week.

And a wine plan.

Six bottles of wine from renowned winemakers delivered monthly.

So that means you're drinking a bottle

over a bottle a week?

Is that a lot of wine?

That's not a lot of wine, right?

That's nothing from what I hear.

Get him fucking.

Get him drinks of wine.

He's a wino?

Well,

he definitely has alcohol with his meal, but it's not wine.

It's like a natty, I would assume.

It's more of a fermented mush that he makes out of horse shit and hay.

Describe your favorite flavor, Q.

My favorite flavor?

Put your favorite flavor on a facebook.

My favorite flavor?

Wow.

I mean, that's a deep question, isn't it?

That's why I saw it there, and I was just like, I gotta know.

They're trying to wring every fucking second.

Like, they give you three pages of copy.

They're like, read this in under 60 seconds.

What is your favorite flavor on the face of the planet?

You can only, you know, not you can only, but like, this one thing that you're like, I want to taste this.

I like spice.

Fucking cement head.

Spice.

Yeah.

You're talking like spice, like that fake weed?

No.

That not.

Oh my God.

Is that a thing?

Fake weed?

Oh, yeah.

Really?

It has been for years.

Yeah, Yeah, like the outlaw because

kids smoke it instead of weed.

It's like has this fake THC in it.

Oh, that's got real THC.

You buy it at gas stations.

If real THC is so easy to buy, I don't know why anybody would be buying this shit.

It seems insane.

What about cherry?

Cherry's good.

I wouldn't say it's my favorite.

Is pizza a flavor?

I don't know.

Pizza is a

combination of flavors, though.

Right.

What's that one flavor that really makes you go, Glad I got taste buds?

Mike and Mangro like salt.

Duh.

I don't know.

Well, Brian, you got a fan of a flavor that you can be like, this is my flavor.

This is my jam.

It's a flavor.

Yeah,

maybe chocolate.

You know, that's a mixture of stuff, too.

Yeah, it's a mixture of stuff, though.

No,

that would constitute.

That's definitely more of a flavor than pizza is.

Yeah.

Chocolate's an ingredient.

No, chocolate's a concoction.

It's made from coca beans.

Coca beans, milk, and sugar.

Unless it's like dark chocolate, yeah, and sugar.

Yeah, I would argue that it's the same.

It has okay, then sugar.

Sugar's your favorite.

Flavor?

Not bad.

I don't even know what it is.

Sweet flavor.

Sweet, right?

Well, that's spicy.

That didn't work.

Yeah.

Curry.

I like curry.

Definitely, Blue Apron has some curry dishes that you will be able to experience.

Is the best part of life variety or ease?

Ease.

Definitely ease.

Blue Apron's got both.

So you would have been right with either question, either answer.

Both ease and variety, Blue Apron's got it covered.

And

if you haven't tried Blue Apron,

talk about, oh, no, no, I don't want to talk about that.

Flexibility.

We know they're flexible, high quality.

Let's call to action.

Let's get a call to action here.

Blue Apron is treating Telm Steve Dave listeners to their first three meals.

A $30 value with your first order if you visit blueapron.com TESD.

So check out this week's menu and get your $30 off with free shipping at blueapron.com/slash TESD.

Blue Apron, a better way to cook.

Terms and conditions apply.

Nice work, dude.

Thank you.

That was great.

It's only been, what, how many years have we been doing this?

You rescued me.

It was all marble mouth.

When we went to dinner the other night,

I was very happy you went, Walt, because

it's not really your thing to go to a

fancy dinner, yeah.

Highfalutin.

It was a little highfalutin, and I didn't have the heart to tell you when you said it, like you texted me, because I said, ah, they have chicken, and you said, I can, you know, I'll just get a nice sirloin.

And I didn't have the heart to tell you that sirloin there is like, you might have been like, oh, I'll get some alpo.

Yeah, they don't have sirloin.

Because it's like the cut.

It didn't make the cut.

Oh, it's a pun intended.

Of steak.

Is it?

A little lower, I think, than what they have, yeah.

Well, then you got a New York strip, and you were living it up a little bit.

I was.

I saw you.

I was.

I got a New York strip, but I've got to be honest.

I mean, I've tasted sirloin that

rivaled it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was this person.

I won't say where we went because I wouldn't want to, but, you know, I don't want to slam the place because it was a beautiful place.

It's gorgeous.

It's got the atmosphere.

If you're into that kind of atmosphere,

if you don't like it.

Or you have to wear shoes.

You know,

I like fluorescent lighting, personally.

I like what like cafeteria style.

Yeah.

I hear you.

Not a shadow in the.

Please tell me this was frozen before you cooked it.

I was his personal taste tester.

He wanted to see if his fries had any spices on them, so I tested out his fries.

Harry over there.

There was a moment, though, where I'm like, we may lose them, where

we got like a jumbo lump crab advertiser and they popped it right in front of right in front of Walt.

They did.

I figured mid-table it would be okay.

You're surprised that you're surprised that you're ordered.

I stayed away from all those things.

I'll just take more bread.

I gotta take it.

The bread doesn't smell right.

I'll have what he's having.

Does this bread have any drugs in it, like yeast or

a caraway seed, maybe?

Well, you know, I appreciate you guys not ordering seafood.

Well, at least Q didn't.

I appreciate

the thought that went into that.

But on his birthday, he should be able to order some food.

Well, he did.

I should be able to put up with it.

And I did.

I didn't make one mention of

the putrid odor that was.

There was no odor in it.

It's all there was.

It's not like the crap.

Oh, oh, my God.

Holy shit.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

I can't believe I forgot this.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

You told me there was something you wanted to tell us.

There was something I wanted to tell you.

You were excited to say this.

You mentioned it on the.

Okay.

I was talking to someone I know whose father father is a doctor.

Okay.

And

hold on.

I got to get the term here.

What kind of doctor?

I believe it's a general practitioner.

But

she

told me that he independently, because she was like, I was thinking about Walt and his

food stuff.

She's like, he's probably a super smeller.

And I was like, I thought she was joking around.

I have not heard the term, but I already like it already.

Super.

That's exactly what I told her.

I was like, he's going to think he's a fucking superhero now.

Like, I'm not sure if I should even fucking

mean that I got like my senses are like daredevil-esque.

Why the fuck can't I fucking find it now?

Oh, damn it.

I should.

Okay, here you go.

I'm not really exactly even sure how to pronounce it, but it's called hyperosmia.

Okay,

and what lead led me to believe that I'm like, it's probably true was, and we talked about this the other day at the table.

One time, this is going back years and years.

We're probably like 18 or 19, we all came over and we were having like cookies and milk.

This is the kind of fucking fags we were that were like, hey, let's have cookies and milk.

We're 19.

The world is ours.

That's pretty good to me now.

Oh, yeah, I would totally do it now.

Can you imagine a BQ like going over hanging out at 19?

And then you go over and like, hey, hey, BQ, you want some cookies and milk?

Yeah,

We're taking virgin packs.

It sounds pretty awesome to me, actually.

Come on, you're at 19.

I used to go at my friend's house.

He used to play video games like 4 or 5 in the morning.

If they busted out cookies and milk, I'd be like, this is even better.

All right.

I felt a little funny revealing it to the world.

Yeah.

But Walt was like, do you have any whole milk?

And I said, yeah.

So I pour him the glass and he brings it up to his, like, not even like right next to his nose, never touch his lips.

He's like, this isn't whole milk.

And he was right.

It was 2%.

I was trying.

Super smeller.

I was trying to.

I was like, the man is a super smeller.

No, I bet you're a new category, super duper smeller.

It may be.

I may have to break that.

The only known super duper on the face of the planet may be myself.

In terms of sniffing.

Like in the woods sniffing out dead bodies of a fucking damn thing.

Yeah, bloodhounds have nothing on him.

It's an increased olfactory acuity, a heightened sense of smell, usually caused by a lower threshold for odor.

The perceptual disorder

disorder.

Some may say like to some it would be a disorder.

To some it's like a

crippling, like inability to fucking be around crab.

It arises when there is abnormally increased signal at any point between the olfactory receptors and the olfactory cortex.

The causes of hyperosmia may be genetic, environmental, or the result of benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, which I don't think it's the last one.

What's benzyl?

What's that?

Benzodiazepine.

It's like a Xanax or like any number.

I've never been on any kind of medication.

I know.

We know.

No, no, no.

We've heard earlier.

Even as a kid,

I can't take penicillin.

I'm allergic to penicillin.

So anyway.

So I'm dying from tertiary syphilis.

I just want to make the announcement.

Any disease that I've ever gotten, I've had to fight off with naturally with

no aid of any modern medicine.

It's only mano amano against the germ.

Sounds like fun.

Well, it's, you know,

you know,

it's like survival of the fettest.

She's dying of chickenpox right now.

Do you find yourself taking care of yourself more knowing that you have to?

No.

No, I just, I guess I take it for granted.

I still think I'm in my 20s, but sooner or later it's going to catch up to me.

You know, I can't be this.

Yeah, like

this paragon of virtue that you are.

Sooner or later I will.

That's probably.

She had like like a tooth abscess or nothing like that.

What's that?

First off, he's full of shit, just so you know.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He had a major operation.

I'm talking about like prescribed medicine.

No, but if you've got an abscess and they don't give you, if they don't take care of that, that could give you brain issues.

Yeah, like you need antibiotics.

That's how I got super duper smell.

You never were on antibiotics.

I didn't take care of that tooth abscess, and it got into my.

The pus went into your brain, and it just made you.

But why would that be a disease, though?

That would be a good thing.

Well, you're saying you can't take anything, but you're saying you can't take antibiotics, which is the only way antibiotics.

It can be anything.

It could be like

any sort of antibiotic, right?

Like,

I don't know what he's allergic to, but he's saying he's never taken anything.

I've never been prescribed medicine like that.

Well, yeah, you would need, then you've never been on antibiotics.

I have been.

But like, prescribed like on a regular basis, like you could eat this.

People don't take penicillin on a regular basis.

They take it when they're sick.

Yeah.

It's not like vitamins or something.

In fact, if you take that, so they say like taking too much of it will reduce your resistance to

different infections and shit.

Like, is it like tricycline or something?

A different antibiotic.

There's a bunch of antibiotics.

But you've taken it.

I haven't taken it since probably I was young.

I haven't been prescribed any medicine probably since I was

probably pre-puberty.

Pre-puberty.

Wow.

So he has no pubic hair.

He's totally bald from the chin down.

Well, as I hit puberty, I was like,

I'll find it from here.

Yeah.

I got it from here.

I got it, Doc.

I got it.

Don't worry about it.

I'm a man now.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

We still have another commercial, boys.

Oh.

But you're going to to love it.

It's Miyundi's.

Oh, I do love it.

Speaking of Miyundis,

I went to see...

I'll talk about it after this.

You can't.

I can't?

Oh, that's right.

Is it next week again?

We got...

Wait a second, Q.

Q, we got seven and a half minutes left.

Q's timer is off.

I'm counting up.

Oh, you're counting up?

Right, yeah.

Otherwise, oh, come on.

All right, hurry up.

All right, meundies, meundies.

Every year, millions of people receive the least liked gift of all time, underwear, but we still give it to our family and our loved ones who just don't want it no that's a real statement on the person right like you know somebody doesn't want something and you're like here take it anyway you run out of time you don't give a shit why even bother giving them a gift yeah

oh speaking of gifts uh-huh i don't know all right forget it's

i don't i know we can run a timeline here i don't want to get i don't want to uh derail this uh but maybe it's not the underwear that's a problem it's the kind of underwear waltz let me tell you about meundi's the only underwear that makes for an amazing gift talk about why you love Miundi's.

Because of the modale.

Feel free to improvise, Walt.

I love the modal.

I know you do.

I love the way

it accentuates certain curves.

You look good at it, right?

Curves.

My curves, too.

I don't have many curves, probably.

The only underwear for a curvy dude.

Yeah.

He loves his curves.

No, I don't have hip curves.

I'm proud of your curves, man.

But this is the only underwear I've ever worn that I put a curve on my bell end, so I like it.

Underwear for the stick figure.

Oh, it makes a narrow, skinny Irish ass look like it's got boots.

Hey, he looks like he's got junk in the trunk.

Put some on and just starts twerking through the house.

Look out, girls.

And you start doing those violent twerks where tables are breaking.

You're clapping your ass, your ass cheeks.

They make the perfect underwear gift that everyone is going to love you for.

It's a goddamn holiday miracle.

Is it?

It is.

This year, don't give underwear, give meundies.

This holiday season to get your exclusive 20% off the softest underwear and socks you will ever wear.

Free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Go to meundis.com slash T-E-S-D.

That's meundis.com slash T-E-S-D.

I've just got off the phone with Father Lance.

He has sanctioned the miracle that Miyundis is claiming to be a church-sanctioned miracle.

Whoa.

So you can go there knowing full well that

Tim Kibo and God approve of your choice of Miyundi's gift-giving.

Right, because

he doesn't have to worry about getting them stained up and shit after the act, right?

Tim?

Yeah.

Do you want a virgin as your spokesman, or is it just too weird in this world?

I would adore a virgin spokesman because I think that's.

Well, we can make that himself.

not.

There's no doubt about that.

No.

I'm serious.

I think more.

I think this world

should be acknowledging and propping up the Virgin more than they instead of always.

Yeah, if they're 15, not 30.

I mean, for Christ's sakes.

What did you want to say?

I went to see the disaster artist.

Did you see it?

Oh, no, the room movie?

Yeah.

How was it?

It's pretty good.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'm listening to the book right now on Audible, so I'm not sure exactly how close the movie is to what happened, but it's pretty good.

Like, if you've seen,

don't see it if you haven't seen the room, because you can enjoy it on a totally different level if you've seen it already, but it's pretty good.

And

stay for the end credits because there's some cool shit on that.

Oh, okay.

Shit, man.

Is it out in theaters?

Yeah.

It's got to be.

Yeah, it opened wide this week, I think.

And I really don't go to the movies that much anymore, but this one I wanted to show you.

Yeah, I mean, we've been watching the room for,

Jesus Christ, have we watched in Kevin's?

It's over 10 years.

Sure.

Well, I moved back to New York in 05.

And we watched it when we house sat for Kevin before I moved to LA.

So that has to make it 2002 or 3 when we first saw it.

Yeah.

You don't know what we're talking about, probably.

I've seen the room.

Oh, you've seen it?

Yeah.

Did you like it?

It's terrible.

Yeah, I know what it is.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, it's charming.

Yeah, there's a movie about.

Yeah, I'm aware of it.

I haven't seen it, though.

Yeah.

Is Waizo in it?

He's at the very end.

Yeah.

Where they do the side-by-side stuff.

Oh, they show him and stuff.

Oh, they recreate scenes.

They recreate scenes.

And the girl who plays Lisa is so fucking good at it.

Like, hitting.

Really?

Oh, my God.

She's really good.

Like, Franco's a close second, but whoever, again, I don't know her name.

Whoever the girl is that plays Lisa is fucking amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's really good.

And the movie's funny.

Do they do a take on the woman who played the old mother?

They do it.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah, they have her.

Her.

And they do a side-by-side with that scene where it's like, the results are in.

I definitely have breastcast.

Oh, God.

I do want to see it.

I re-watched The Room when we were on the UK tour on the bus.

We were just fucking dying laughing.

Yeah, you won't suffer if you watch it at home.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not like it demands a big screen.

It's got to be a video demand soon, right?

It's not a huge release.

No.

It's one of those movies that it's like, you've already seen it, so you can't experience the magic, and the next best thing is showing it to someone who hasn't experienced the magic.

Like Sal at the first couple minutes, being like, What the fuck, why are we watching this?

That was it.

Oh my god,

Kevin's house with Sal.

Yeah,

the confusion on the face was amazing.

It just changed.

So that was Sal Sword in because I was living out there for that.

So that was Sal Sword in 2005 or 2004.

But yeah, his face was perfect because it just changed to like pure fucking joy.

joy.

You just hit that tipping point with that movie where you're like, I get this.

Yeah.

This is phenomenal.

Yeah, it was pretty fun.

I got there early and watched people try to navigate the over in Hazlitt, trying to navigate that

popcorn and shit is.

Like, you know, when you first walk out the Android.

Yeah.

Like, it's all tiled and it snowed yesterday.

People are fucking falling all over the place.

They have like 50 signs up that say like, wet, be careful.

I almost fell twice.

I'm like, I'm 50 years young.

Tell us you then.

There you go.

I'm the light of the earth.

I told them turn and watch out a time.

Cause I know that all those taxes fight.

So,

the top of the pain over

by the side.

Spending your life on somebody's stock.

The time was over, the door is shot.

You,

I was a sniper, now you are favor.

They just come straight from the strip of rain.

They understood

what the sky

paid for the pain.

I don't know.

Lion

Lion

Layer for Gaza

Lay or

Gaza

Lay or

Gaza

Lay or

Gaza

To Master

of my side

to

my

soul.

of fame.

I say you will get a reason to fight.

Stargazer

will come to my skin.

Show this up, don't

be scared.

Why rather shadow away

my sword?

I shall lift it alone with words of guns.

So when the promise of reason to come,

once I must know you'll never

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