#358: F*ck the trees!

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Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Hot off the announcement of Space Monkeys presents the Miss Tellum Steve Dave town overbite.

Walt, very excited.

Hey, did you, what's this about?

Somebody got stabbed, a Devils fan for wearing a Devil's hat?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I heard about that.

Yeah, there was

a Devils fan.

I don't know if he's a fan, but he's wearing a Devil's hat.

Somebody was giving him some crap in Philly.

Philly's a big sports fan.

Well, yeah, they have a big reputation for being the biggest

dickheads?

Are they the bullies?

They're prone to violence.

They would be the hooligans of

being scrappy.

They had a jail.

They had a jail in the bowels of the stadium where the Eagles played in.

That's phenomenal.

What's the matter with you?

I can't even handle when people are like, I can't believe we lost last night.

It's like, bitch, you're not on the team.

Stop saying we.

Well, I think alcohol is a big

thing.

I got something on that later on.

But

I may be for prohibition with you again.

The guy apparently,

somebody started giving the guy

some shit for wearing the devil's hat in Philly, and

the guy wearing the devil's hat stabbed him.

Should he kill him?

I don't know.

I saw it real briefly as I was walking out today.

Yeah, I think he killed him.

So the guy in the devil's hat stabbed him.

Yeah.

Okay.

He was disrespected and he took action.

Is that what you're saying?

I'm not saying that.

I'm not a proponent of that.

No, I don't think that that's what you should do.

If someone disses your hat when you're in another stadium, I don't think you should kill them.

I don't understand that.

I've never been a fan of that could get behind

attacking another, like a visiting fan.

I mean, that to me is like, I guess it's tribal, though.

Stabbing people because they're not part of your tribe.

Well, the guy said he felt threatened.

I remember I read the article, and the Devils fan felt like he was going to be attacked by this guy.

He was that

ominous and threatening.

So he took action first, which is what you're going to say if you've just been arrested for stabbing somebody over a hat.

The electrician.

You're not going to just be like, well, I'm a Devils fan.

Isn't that good enough?

What else do you want me to say?

He's a homeless veteran, this killer, originally from Media PA.

He's unlikely then he's even a Devils fan.

He probably just had the hat.

He found the hat.

The argument that led to the deadly stabbing was indeed over hockey.

He was wearing a blue New Jersey Devils hat that sparked the incident.

Blue?

Yeah, that's weird, right?

I don't even know they sold blue.

The devils don't have anything that's blue.

Actually, I have a blue

4th of July devil shirt, but that's the only blue apparel I even knew of.

Can you imagine, though, that, like, okay, so you're the guy who gets stabbed and killed because you gave this devils, quote-unquote, fan some static.

And then as you're dying, he's like, I don't even like the devils.

So all that bullshit.

Like that, I gotta say, I mean,

I'm not sorry to see this guy go.

If he instigated this incident, if he started the whole thing, I'm not sorry to see someone like that go.

But if he's got a family and everything, and like I said, you know, beer muscles.

Beer muscles make you, and you don't assume, you just don't assume that the guy you're kind of like

busting your balls about, you know, being in Philly wearing a devil's cap.

I don't think you assume he's going to stab you, though.

But you got to.

Now you have to.

Anytime you're in an altercation with anyone in public, you have to assume that maybe they know

martial arts.

Yeah, maybe that's why I'm wearing a devil's hat right now, because maybe I want everybody to think I'll stab them if they fuck with me.

That could be a new thing.

Yeah, everyone's like, oh, shit.

He's into the devil's hat.

You happen to be a homeless veteran as well.

This is really like...

Were there retail wars?

Oh, yeah, it's Black Friday last week.

I went out.

Black Friday was nothing.

Really?

I saw some video on the news of crazy happenings.

I'm not talking about Black Friday.

I'm talking about Black Friday.

No, that's wrong.

That's wrong.

No,

it was all people of all races and creeds

embarrassing themselves over

goods that

over door busters.

Yeah, crazy, crazy antics I saw in the news.

Everybody's got a cell phone now, so if you're going to act like an idiot and fight somebody over a crock pot, but half the time you're like, what is it that they want?

Like, you don't even know what they want.

It's like a crock pot.

It's like a coffee maker.

I could have gone $4 off on that.

Well, it's probably a bit more than that, but it's still crazy that you're willing to

knock somebody out because they got the last coffee.

The fights are so wild.

I saw some of the video, too.

I watched it, and I was like, oh, my God.

Where'd you go on Black Friday, though?

You weren't out and about.

You were mixing it up, huh?

I was.

I didn't want to

go out because I thought for sure I was going to get caught up in traffic and get annoyed, but I went to Lowe's, bought a radio.

The worst place to go on Black Friday

is a hardware store, especially one like Home Depot or Lowe's.

I can't stand going to them on a normal day, but let alone trying to get excited about Black Friday,

getting your holiday spirit up, you just can't do it at a lows.

At a lows?

No, you can't.

That's what I love.

I hate Christmas music.

I can't stand the whole Christmas vibe.

I don't like it.

You needed a rake that bad.

You're like, well, I got to go out and face Black Friday crowds for this rake.

What were you fucking raking?

Leaves, generally.

That's what I'm saying.

And you couldn't wait until Cyber Monday?

Well, I was very

in the morning.

No.

Because in the morning, I was very agitated and angry.

And I'm like, I'm going to fucking blow my goddamn head off.

Over leaves?

No, not over leaves.

Some tree?

No, it was a fucking yard.

It was over a shelf that I couldn't get.

Oh, that's better.

Over leaves.

I couldn't get the shelf right.

Okay, Q, why didn't you call me?

Q,

I think it was Black Friday.

I fucking, I had, I got an emergency call from Brian.

Oh, really?

He needed a TV put up, and he knew who to fucking call.

Yeah.

That's when I was thinking, why did I call him?

It is weird.

I'm like, okay, who kind of lives in the area or comes by the area?

Oh, I know the least handy guy like next to me.

So, of course.

All I needed him to do was just hold it in place.

Yeah.

Oh, bullshit.

I saw you hold that shit in place.

So you're the one that fucked it up by putting the bracket on too soon.

Well, I put the bracket on too.

Here's what happened.

Why didn't you tape this?

I didn't.

I don't know why I didn't think it would turn into this, but it did.

But I put the bracket up because I'm trying to hang a TV on the wall.

So I put that up.

You installed it into a beam?

Yeah.

Okay.

The stud.

How hard was that?

That was actually not that hard.

All right.

Drill, drill, drill.

The hard part was trying to balance it on my shoulder and then screw it onto this

thing, which I couldn't do.

So

that's when I called Walt.

And you did it pretty well.

Pretty well.

I had to go get a special, like, because he had his mitts all over the screen, so I had to go get like the special stuff to, because you can't use like ammonia on those screens.

Oh, you didn't tell me I couldn't touch a screen.

I thought you were.

You had a super plasma.

You fucking cheese.

You don't just wear your sleeves?

No, it'll just spread the grease around.

Yeah, but then you don't see it.

Yeah.

So I went to the bottom of the corner.

And I think instead of fucking going and buying rake, go buy yourself a fucking light.

It's fucking pitch black in your house.

That's why you can't see the fucking screw holes.

He's like, I can't see anything.

I can't see anything.

There's not a light in the whole place.

Not a lamp anywhere to be found.

I'm so glad I came down here tonight.

Hello.

I'm in.

No, I agree.

Because the person, like, so Walt, stop by.

This is a very crooked house.

Yeah.

Yeah, you've mentioned that.

It's off-kilter as shit.

So when I'm trying to, like, level stuff,

it goes, it's counter to anything that you.

Like, if I try to level a picture, it looks not level.

Sure.

Because you're doing it straight as of earth.

With a picture of the house, right?

So these people, they decided to install a ceiling fan in the bedroom

that

I hit my head on it.

Eclipse you.

It's so everything,

it's like they were like, hey, why don't we just get Brian Walt to do everything in this house in terms of installing it?

Don't include me in your half-assidry.

You hype up a fucking TV.

Poorly, I might add.

No, no, no.

I put those bolts in, bitch, and I tightened them.

But how did he fuck it up?

Just the fingerprints?

No.

No,

he didn't fuck anything up.

In fact, he had the idea.

He's like, why don't we do it this way?

I didn't fuck anything up.

Why don't we do it this way?

You still wouldn't be watching TV at that house without me.

You'd still be

listening to the radio.

Isn't this great, Sage?

Yeah.

I was like, well, you don't like Jack Benny?

Only the shadow knows, Sage.

Lurks in the heart of Ben.

Sure wish Uncle Wall would come by so we can watch some TV.

He's got a holding TV study.

It was more a moment of like,

like, when did this happen?

When did it go from like, wild ass, you're all right, to like, I can't sing.

I can't, like, both of us.

I'm like, you want to use my glasses for like shared glasses and shit.

So the ceiling fan doesn't have a light on it.

So I put the other two lights on, but it's still not enough light for the both of us.

And I was going to get my cell phone light, but then I got a text and got into a whole thing.

But to go back to his, how off-kilter his house is, when he says,

I don't know if he's painting an accurate picture.

I mean, it's like

leaning against.

It's like,

you know, so like a house of mirrors, like you expect a clown to pop out behind a corner and scare you because it's that off.

It's kind of like the perfect house.

It's like a metaphor for you.

Oh, off-kilter.

Yeah, just totally off.

There's something not quite right.

But how is it legal?

Like, I don't understand.

Oh, I don't know that it is.

We're safe.

Probably settled in like a huge distance.

You're using all these buzzwords, like legal and safe as if they mean something to me.

All right.

So, do the doors, any doors in the house close?

Yeah, everything, yeah, all the doors close, but it's like, I mean, it's not, it's fair to say.

Oh, I was in here, and I, I, you know, as I turned around and I was leaving, I noticed that you went to the bathroom, you didn't close the door.

Why was that?

Oh, that door doesn't close.

That's the one door that won't close.

I was like,

Just lock it on us while you pee.

I need, oh, no, I'm not busy.

Might need something moved in the bathroom later.

Right now it's moving on its own.

I got to go.

Black Friday.

Get him in micro waiting for me.

Nice place.

But yeah, I did go out Black Friday.

I got the rake because I was so annoyed at everything,

at myself,

just in general.

I was like, let me just go get a rake and I'll just rake up these fallen leaves.

And I'm like, Because I tried to put the shelf up in the bathroom.

I put it wrong.

The first place I put it, I'm like, well, this is is fucking too close to the vanity.

So when you open it, it's like right beneath the vanity.

So when you open up, it'll knock everything off.

It'll knock everything off.

You just eye everything, or you just eye it up, and you're like, that's cartridge.

I'm trying not to.

Yeah, pretty much.

That's what I do.

You can't do that.

Not at all skills or house because your eyes are playing tricks on you.

It is like I said, when he came in, I said, I know you'll never be high in your life.

This is as close as you're about to come, just walking around, trying to keep your balance and being like, I mean, your equilibrium is immediately off if you spend like two seconds in there.

Really?

Yeah.

He vomited twice.

Johnson's House of Horrors.

You're round.

Yeah, the house could be completely like level and fine.

It would still be that.

What were you mad about?

Have you, and can I ask this?

Because then I did it a second time, and I'm like, I did it.

And then I'm like, fuck, I didn't center it with the vanity.

So it's like way the fuck off to the right.

You're supposed to measure twice and cut once.

I'm telling you, like, I was so close to be like, should I just do it now?

Should I just fucking kill myself?

Like,

I swear, that's the feeling I get.

No, that's not good.

I know it's not, but I'm like, if I can't do it, I'm like, it would be so quick.

It would be just so fast if I could just fucking pull the trigger.

And then I'm like, you know what?

I'll go buy a rake and I'll rake up all the leaves.

Because, you know, Sage is around.

Have you ever used

manual labor to cool off before?

Or is this the first time you thought about it?

You know what I'll do?

I'll rake leaves to calm down.

I never have.

Usually I either took drugs, punched something, destroyed something.

So this is the first time you would actually do something positive.

Blow off steam.

Yeah.

Because my feeling is like, well, I can't fuck this up.

It's raking leaves until,

as I'm doing it, my neighbor comes over.

If you put too many in a bag, you know.

Too many leaves?

Yeah.

That's against you and get a ticket.

How many leaves is too many leaves?

A weight or like a number?

It's probably the weight.

No one's going to count your leaves.

All right.

Well, fuck it.

I'll pack it to the max and we'll sell another shirt for it arrested.

But

I did fuck it up because then the neighbor, as he's coming by, like rolls down the window and he's like, hey, he had never introduced himself before.

He's like, hey, I'm Bill.

He's like, yeah, you're a couple days late on that.

They just came by the other day for him because you put him in the road.

Julian asshole.

Yeah, I'm like,

in general,

something's.

I know.

I know.

Nice rake.

Yeah.

Oh, it is.

I got to say, man, it's a pretty sweet rake.

Now, do you go for the short and tight, or do you go for the long?

I go for it's like a plastic yellow one that it's like very broad and the teeth are staggered.

It wasn't even that expensive.

I was going to say, do you buy the most expensive rake, a Loza or are you fucking buying the one that's going to, that you know that you really need, the one that you're only going to use once and then

get buried by other leaves and never see it ever again.

Right, it's still in the yard right now.

I gave you halfway through.

I'm like, forget, I'm just going to fill myself.

It's in my neighbor's tree.

So, no, I didn't get a top of the line.

Top of the line break.

I didn't.

I'm glad.

I'm glad.

Because usually

I would do something.

Usually, yeah, you go top of the line for things you don't really need.

Top of the line up.

Having just moved, you're like, you know, like food or

relationships.

I'm talking about

food.

I'm talking about pens.

I don't want to say it out loud, but I'm talking about pens in your $300 pen collection.

All right, fine.

I've got a couple pens.

People need to write shit down.

A Bic just won't do.

How am I supposed to write my fucking killer?

Manifesto?

Walt at the top.

You buy yourself a nice pen.

Yeah.

You never fucking hear the end of it.

Do you know the brand name of the Rick?

No,

it might have been like a Stanley or something.

Nice.

But I did buy something else that I'm like,

because after the fucking shelf tobacco, I'm like, you know what?

I'm just going to get one.

I know they have like laser levels, right?

Now, I'm such an asshole that it doesn't occur to me that is a laser level going to work on a wall that looks like...

Right.

You know, it's like.

Oh, it's warp, too?

Well, it's just not like plum or level or whatever the fuck it is.

I don't even know the right word to use.

You got levels on the left.

Oh, yeah.

I've never heard that used.

I was like, wow, I was impressed with plum because I was like, wow.

Yeah, Yeah, I think that's like even.

Okay.

But

you don't just can't just use this.

It's a free app on the old phone here.

Look.

Oh, no.

You didn't know about that.

I didn't know about that.

I don't know that that would have worked anyway because

it's a little bit small.

I'm trying to hang these curtain rods.

So I needed, I was like, all right, let me use this laser level.

Did you ever think about getting like somebody to just do it for me?

You have like one of those interior decorators.

A handy man.

Yeah.

I'm like, oh, hello.

You're here to bring you the level.

I had a friend over here the other day trying to hold the TV.

Is there shame in calling someone to do that sort of work?

No, I don't think so.

No.

You can't do it.

I'm not good at anything.

You can't hack it, so you just call a man to come in and do it.

I've done that in the past.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've done that in the past.

This is shit that I should be able to do, though.

It's not like I'm like, hey, let's put up a, let's rebuild the foundation or let's live the house.

I'm trying to hang a fucking shelf into the bathroom that

had four screws and then hang it.

And I'm like, oh, fuck you, Edgar.

Like, this is all his fault because he had no patience, so he would never teach me how to do anything.

And probably, I mean, I had ADD as a kid, so probably that's half of it.

I don't know how to do it, and I would just have my wife do it.

So there's no shame in it.

It's me and Sage.

If Sage does it, then I'm definitely fucking putting one in my head.

But

your expertise aren't with a screw and a hammer, though.

I mean,

not everybody excels at, you know, at handyman.

At traditionally masculine.

Yeah, I mean, it's a new world.

That's the old ways of thinking of a masculinity.

Yeah.

Everybody better be woke around me, man.

It's not my fault.

I'm a total fag when it comes to doing that kind of stuff.

But

you fucking know what every show is on and on every platform, though.

You want to know something about Narcos?

Is that what you want?

You don't know if it's on Hulu.

You know if it's on Netflix.

You know if it's on Amazon.

Do you want to argue if Nevgante or Pacho is a better character in Narcos?

I know who watch Narcos.

I'll talk to you all the time.

If you want to know if this shelf is level, the answer is no.

Yes, no, maybe, all of these levels.

No, no, no, no.

I don't know.

Is shit rolling off the side?

I guess it's not fucking level.

And that's the problem.

Like you put something down, it's like, and then it just rolls away.

Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine the house is going to be legal for that much longer, but it's actually like the it's the rent and the proximity to her school.

I'm like, fuck it, man.

What do you mean legal?

Like, I don't know, maybe there's like some

floorboard stuff.

There's no way that you're going to have to change it.

I mean, that's the way it is, and it's been that way forever.

They're not going to make the guy lift it or do anything to level it off.

The other day, I was in the kitchen, and Sage was taking a bath, and I hear this noise.

I'm like, what the fuck is that noise?

And she had filled the tub up and then didn't turn it off and got in it.

So all the water was like

splashing.

It wasn't enough to like that little thing, the drain or whatever, the stopper.

So all this water is raining down all over my shit.

So if anybody wants to buy a slightly water-damaged Brian Johnson pop,

oh my God.

And then like, I didn't notice, but like one of the globes, like to the lights.

It got filled with water.

It got filled with water.

I didn't even notice it until today.

So I don't like that I use that much.

I don't like to turn on the water.

Having a fire.

We see that in fires a lot.

Yeah, the water from the top levels go down to the bottom and fill the globes up.

Yeah, that's what happened here.

But, yeah, no fire, unfortunately.

I swear, there is a part of me.

I felt that way when I lived in Highlands, too.

I was like, if I could just light a match and be done with it all.

But to do what?

To go where?

Then you'd still be looking for another apartment near her school.

I don't know.

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, These are small.

I mean, I'm not saying they're rational.

Sure.

I mean, I'm considering suicide or not being able to put a shelf up.

I certainly're anhills.

I understand.

Yeah, I understand.

We've all been there.

Oh, it's Thanksgiving, though.

Oh, it was wonderful.

Yeah.

It was fine up to a certain point.

Well,

meal provided by the world's greatest cook?

No.

I made mostly everything.

Crab dip, which normally is good, sucked.

I fucked it up.

Yeah.

And that's not cheap either.

Two pounds or that's like 80 bucks in crab alone, right?

But then like turkey stuffing, gravy.

Green beans with almonds and onions and what was the other?

A couple other things, I don't know.

Potatoes with rosemary potatoes.

You cook it at your place, or you get over to Pam?

No, I went over to Pam's because it's easier than carrying everything.

Yeah.

So, all that was pretty decent.

And then

Pam, and this is the alcohol thing.

She,

can you go over and get it yourself?

Or maybe, maybe, can you go with Stacey?

Stacey, I'll take you in a second.

All right.

I don't care who does it.

As long as somebody gives me, so this is it.

This is my life now.

I'm just constantly at beck and call.

Yeah.

It's like, hey, I need this.

Hey, I need that.

Jump too.

Yeah, and I do.

Well, because what else am I going to do?

So Pam, I think, has had a couple.

Because when she's had a few drinks, she gets like boisterous.

She like curses and thinks it's funny, shit like that.

So

I was teasing her a little bit about different things.

One, now this last thing, though, she definitely deserved it because she says she's going to like,

mind you, she's not done much, right?

She's like, oh, I'll bring the desserts out and put them on the table.

So they're on the table in the kitchen.

They need to be moved to the table

in the dining room.

And she doesn't do it.

She's sitting down.

And I said, well,

what happened with those desserts?

And

she's like, oh, they're in there.

My back was hurting, so I didn't get to move them all the way.

And I was like, well, what do you mean?

Like, ultimately,

the effort that she put into moving the desserts from one table to the other was pointing at them, saying that she hadn't done it.

Okay.

And that was it.

And so

I pointed that out.

We were just joking around,

like, very light ball breaking.

And I hear her say something.

She goes in, she starts getting all like red-faced.

This is what she does.

Like, there's a tipping point where she'll start crying because she can't tipping.

It seems to be very fast with Pam.

Yeah.

Every story is is always.

It's her, it's her like welling up and shit over something so minor.

But she, um,

so she starts doing that and she gets up and she goes into the kitchen, she starts walking into the kitchen.

I was like, I go, come on.

Like, it's so,

it's so, like, she would last three seconds on a comic book, man.

Three seconds.

All right.

So,

so she goes in there and she says,

she says to Edgar,

Brian doesn't want me in there.

And I hear this.

Totally untrue.

You do want her in there.

I don't care.

I'm indifferent.

She can be wherever she wants to be.

But I did not say,

I don't want you in here.

Well, you gave off a vibe.

Didn't say it.

Okay.

Okay.

But the vibe is just like, come on, like, sack up and have some fucking fun for Christ's sakes.

It's not like she's the only one taking it.

So, when she comes back out, I was like, Why did you just say that to him?

And she's like, What?

And she knows she's caught.

Say G, hey, do you want soda?

Yeah, you go with Stacey, okay?

And

she'll help you.

She's not going to just go get it for you.

Pause that video.

I need some.

I need a break.

Thank you.

So I was like,

Why did you say that?

And she's like, because that's what you said.

I said, whoa.

I said, I told you I don't want you in here?

She then proceeds to try to convince me that that's what I said.

It is insane.

Wow, that's a

sane.

She's looking at you and she's like, I can convince this fucking slack-jailed motherfucker.

Look at his face.

Look at his face.

He's a stormtrooper.

Yeah, weak-minded, simple, soft in the head.

And I'm looking at her and I'm like, oh my god, because the other

thing, she won't be wrong,

will not be wrong, will not be like, I made a mistake, I'm wrong, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

I shouldn't have fucking just lied and said you said something that you didn't.

So I'm like,

then she sees my annoyance.

And I'm like, oh, she helped you?

What a nice lady.

She's going to be your mommy soon.

mama.

Yeah.

So

she sees my annoyance because now I'm welling up in a totally different way with rage, not tears.

And I'm like, I'm leaving.

And she's like, no, no, no, no.

And I'm like, no.

I was like, I'm leaving.

Because

I have a tipping point, as you may have noticed.

And that is when someone will so fucking

ardently fucking fight something that you're just like, it's not true.

Right.

A lot of experience in this.

Like, what you're saying isn't true.

Why are you trying to convince me otherwise?

Like, what the fuck?

It's nuts.

It's not really that unusual of a button because

most people don't deal with that.

No.

Like, I don't have people trying to convince me of things.

I mean, unless you listen to the news that you know are patently untrue.

Right.

Like you were in the room for.

She's saying, I said it.

I'm like, I did not say that.

Like, and I didn't say it.

I did not say it.

I did not.

Oh, hi, Pam.

So I'm like, I'm leaving.

Oh, don't leave, don't leave.

But by then, it's too late to not leave.

So I'm like, I'm fucking leaving.

And after you had already eaten, it was dessert time.

I'd eaten.

It was dessert time.

Walk out the door, and she follows.

And she's like, don't leave.

I said, I cannot stay here.

I was like, you

have a pathology about you that you cannot just say, I was wrong.

Are you loud?

No.

Neighbors aren't getting another Johnson show?

No.

No,

they're like one of the calmer neighbors now.

There's a couple other neighbors.

Oh, really?

Pepe and Edgar are old now.

Edgar doesn't have the vim and vigor he once did to, you know,

after people.

No, I was talking about you.

Didn't you kill your heart of death like recently?

Yeah, that was earlier in the year, a while ago.

But then she's like, stay, stay.

And I'm like, no, I said, you just can't.

Like, I didn't say it.

Why are you trying to convince me otherwise?

And she doesn't fucking say anything.

She just looks at me.

She just stares at me.

And I'm like, I got to have her committed.

Like, I got to have her committed.

She's an insane person.

I mean, you might be a little bit more stringent.

The things that you need to bring her in?

The

The checklist may be a bit more.

I'm going to admit she's wrong.

No, no, no, no.

Doctor, you understand this.

What are you doing with that net?

It was nuts, but yeah, so I left.

I left.

Tech Sage with you?

No, Sage was staying overnight because she was making something the other next day.

Hey, calm down.

So she stayed.

Holy shit, is she still watching that princess thing?

Yeah, it's endless.

Holy fuck.

It's been years now she's been watching.

that.

Yeah, she watches these princess videos that

Disney toy fan, I think.

Wow, I can't believe that woman's still making those.

All right, sorry.

It's a high high value production.

You you and I, yeah, we were we became consumed with them.

Yeah, we watched a bunch one time.

Um, so

so yeah, so so I left and I I went back and

and used uh a few different uh calming methods to you went back home.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

By yourself?

Yeah, and I immediately tried to put a shelf up.

oh man yeah i went back by myself i'm like fuck yeah man

nothing wrong with that yeah you had the tv was up right you could watch the tv was so sweet and much yeah

despite some people's best efforts i didn't know that uh you could leave fingerprints on on these newfangled tvs really you thought technology had advanced to the point where

Well, then how would they ever know if somebody stole a TV that's going to get fingerprints?

Well, not on the screen.

I didn't know the screen could have fingerprints.

Yeah, I think so.

Oh you just told me

I would have wore gloves.

I didn't know.

I mean I thought I did a good job.

I was about to start.

I'll come over quick and bring gloves.

I'm flying in a white glove service.

I was about to me and Gidden to start a little side business of like we would go install and hang T Vs at places.

Yeah, just sit there and be like, I can't see the screw holes.

Wow, your light sucks.

That'll be $500.

More than the T V.

Even the T V I'm not super happy with.

I hung it like a little high.

Like I would go down maybe four inches.

But by that point.

You don't want to get back in there.

It's up.

You can watch it.

Be satisfied.

It's up there in perpetuity or until I get pissed and rip it off the wall with a bit of rage.

Did you

do that banking?

Did you get your japple?

When I got my japple

with no, with no

japple, my mother made put two and can I interrupt you once.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, so the guy in the hat,

the guy with the devil's hat,

he's in a blue devil's hat, medium build, seemingly random.

Like, he asked if the victim was a Flyers fan and then attacked, prompting a brief altercation before stabbing him in the stomach and running away.

I hope it wasn't a bluke, I mean, a Duke Blue Devil's hat.

That would be really shitty.

I hope it wasn't the New Jersey Devil's hat.

If it had to happen, I really, really hope it was the New Jersey Devils, not the Duke Blue Devils.

I think it was the New Jersey Devils since they've mentioned it in the middle of the day.

It sucks if somebody had to die, but if they had to die anyway, at least let it live.

If it was going to happen, right?

To die over Duke, a university.

Yeah.

So then I take back what I said about the victim because I thought he was giving the guy shit.

But what

I'll tell you what, the guy should have known that he was not really a Devils fan because he was described as a 5'8 African-American man.

Black people don't like hockey.

Oh, yes, they do.

They do not.

They mean some of the.

I mean, the NHL has changed since you watched it in the 90s.

The 90s, I went to Games a couple years ago.

It looked like a recent snowfall.

Oh, what are motherfuckers up in that place?

Yeah,

it's a thing, right?

Black people generally don't get into hockey.

I'm not talking about the devil's dancers of years ago.

I'm talking about.

You'd be wrong with that assumption.

Definitely, the game is becoming more

diversified, definitely.

Are there more black players?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Not just Claude Lemieux.

Was that the guy?

Yeah, no, Claude Vilgreen.

Claude Vilgreen.

That was one of the, that was probably the 90s.

Like I said, when you were watching.

There's another guy, too.

He hurt his ankle.

Is that him?

No, there was.

You can't think of two black players.

Oh, yeah.

Sal, the former captain.

I can't remember what his last name is now.

Sal, he was traded from the blues to the devils.

He was,

I believe, African-American.

He's a mixed race.

They're claiming him?

I don't know.

He's retired, though.

I can't remember his name now.

There's no current black players?

On the Devils?

Yeah.

No, I mean, at all.

Oh, yeah, yeah, there are.

Oh, yeah, there are.

All right.

But look, here, you're at your apple.

You got it with no fan food?

Got it.

No problem.

My niece didn't even go for the second apple.

She doesn't get it.

Oh, there were two apples?

Yeah, she's older now.

She's like 14 now.

So you guys are now moved on up.

You got a bigger turkey with a bigger cavity that could fit.

Well, now it's all the grandkids and stuff, so you need a bigger cavity.

Or you just don't get multiple turkeys.

You get just a huge turkey.

Yeah, my mother cooks so.

You know what I mean?

There's so much food.

But this is probably my favorite Thanksgiving of a long time.

No incidents.

I got there, and you know how you get around your family, and sometimes you just fall into these old roles and you get a little tense.

You know what I mean?

I know you know what I'm talking about.

I had to let Edgar fondle me.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

I was falling into that in the first hour, and then

I did a couple of mini bottles of Jameson.

I'm a joker, goddamn it.

You will exist because I allow it.

And then that sanded away the rough edges, and I had a really great holiday.

It was awesome.

You started.

What are your old roles?

Getting.

Yeah, what old roles went away that you were getting stressed about?

I just think that, you know, it's like you're who says what, that you instantly connect to something they said fucking 30 years ago.

You know what I mean?

Like, there's just all these expectations, and I don't know.

Like your uncle's saying, don't tell anyone.

No, it wasn't my uncle's.

I don't know.

I made two solid child movies teacher jokes.

I'm getting no love from you two.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't really know.

I don't know if I can articulate it.

It's not that.

So it's not that your mother's been a pathological liar for you.

No, no, nothing like that.

It's nothing like that.

It's like, it's like, just stupid shit.

Just stupid shit.

And I found myself getting tense, and then a couple of hits, J-Mo, took care of it.

So alcohol was the savior in this case.

Yeah.

I found alcohol to be serious detriment.

Like the people around me, they seem to not be able to handle it very well.

Oh, that's all I had for the day.

Like, I I didn't, I just needed that

edge.

I just needed that release.

You see, he used his

responsibly.

Yeah, well, I was driving home that night.

But your mother sounds like she didn't.

She was reckless.

She was reckless.

To be fair, if I was home, I might have just kept drinking.

She drove me away.

I went away for the holidays.

But you know, she went to Hula Hans.

Yeah, how was Hula Henry?

She did that.

Yeah, it was a holiday.

It was fine.

It was fine.

Somebody at the table did order shrimp dough, and I almost torpedoed the whole thing for me because it was very overpowering.

Were they sitting next to you?

Well, they're still at the table.

They're in their restaurant.

I did not expect someone to order seafood on Thanksgiving.

That is, yeah,

I thought it was like a turkey buffet type thing or something.

Yeah, it would almost,

it was all I could to

keep control and not get nauseous when the seafood hit the table.

God damn, I wish you threw up.

That would have been amazing.

You know, but you know, I didn't.

Someone at the next table?

No, it was somebody at the table.

Oh, one of your family members.

Yeah, you know, of course I can't pull it.

They should have known about it.

Wait, certainly not a media family.

It had to be some sort of like third cousin.

So I'm like, I can't pull like, what are you doing?

You can't order seafood.

I'm a complex man.

God, no.

Accidentally, it's just because I allow it.

Pull hands is on me.

Throw that shrimp out.

I would have pulled that card in 1999, you know, that

I can't deal with seafood at the table.

But, you know, I powered through it and got through the day

with no incidents and no remarks.

People say there's no modern-day heroes.

Come on.

This is

a little Pam welling up over here.

But then I took a drive to Virginia for the Virginia.

Yeah, I just got back this morning.

Who's your name?

It's for lovers.

Was it just you and your wife?

It wasn't a romantic getaway.

We took one of the kids because at Bush Gardens, they've turned

the park into Christmastown.

Already?

Well, I mean,

Black Friday they turned it into the park.

Yeah, yeah, it's okay.

And they have the license or they have the,

I guess they sign an agreement with Rankin and Bass.

Oh, get out of here.

They have all the Rankin and Bass characters there, which prompted me to be like, we have to go here because, you know, I'm not going to miss this.

This could be a one-year thing where they're fucking minds.

I'm like, with Rankin and Bass.

Well, when it refuses to pull in anybody under the fucking age of 40, they're not going to do it again next year.

I love the aggro approach where it's like,

We got to go.

What are we going to miss this?

They're like, Wait, what?

Slow down.

What are you talking about, first of all?

Who?

Rubenol.

I'm like, I'm dizzy on trip films.

Shrimp fumes.

So it's a long ride to Virginia, and especially on the busiest holiday travel weekend of the year, I didn't factor that in.

You left Friday?

Yeah, we left Friday morning and came back.

So then

how are you verifying there was hustle and bustle here?

You're just going on.

Oh, no, actually, what's that?

No, I was here Friday.

I was here Black Friday.

I left Saturday morning.

So I came back this morning.

Wait, so you left yesterday and came back today?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, I mean.

Fucking, wow.

I would have stayed the next night, but I got the message that you want to go somewhere.

Oh, dude, you could have told me that.

That's okay.

You're sure on a vacation.

That's it.

No, it's not a vacation.

We were coming back that time anyway, though.

Well, how was the ranking of best?

He wouldn't have been able to see Hermie almost,

thanks to you.

I got to see everything.

It was like the they really do an amazing job.

And they put on shows.

What place is this?

Bush Gardens in Virginia.

And they put on shows that are on a level of Broadway.

Really?

And I'm not kidding around.

I was blown away by their Scrooge show.

Outdoors?

No, wasn't it?

They they did an outdoor skating one okay but the Scrooge one was indoors it was really it was like it was worth the the money to get in the park yeah I don't know if it was worth it because it's a six-hour drive but with traffic it was a nine-hour drive oh my god

so you did 15 hours in two days yeah whoa yeah but um

what time did you get back today uh we got back around

one o'clock in the afternoon if you'd taken the train you would have been down there and back in no time you would hate the train then well i don't know if the train yeah you know what i would have if i thought the train went right to the place, I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have even thought of that.

But you know, what happens is like when we broke the trip up last night, we left immediately after the park.

Reverse Red Robin, then he's Bush.

Reverse, then he's Red Robin Cohen.

We wanted to break it up, we wanted to do the whole drive last night.

We wanted to break it up and then do a little bit and then the majority of it in the morning.

And late last night,

did you know that there's these roads?

This is amazing.

There's these roads that you can take for an extra dollar that has no traffic on it.

You're basically the only car on the road.

They're called express lanes.

Yeah.

Like HOV lanes?

But you pay.

Not HOV, yeah.

It's like.

You have to pay.

Yeah, it's express for like, yeah, like an extra toll.

Who wouldn't pay?

It's crazy.

How is it not all backed up?

Yeah.

It was like I had a private road.

Were you passing motherfuckers that was slow and shit?

No, I'm the only one on the line.

I'm not passing anybody because I can see the other lanes.

That's what I mean, the other lanes.

Are they going slow?

They're going slow, but not as, but this is also late at night, though, but, and I don't really need to go in there.

My wife's going, you don't even need to go in there.

There's hardly any traffic in the other lanes.

But I'm like, I don't want to deal with any traffic on either side of me, though.

I have a couple questions.

I got a comic book for money.

Get at that dollar out.

All right, so is it one lane in between?

Two lanes, but are there cement barriers?

Yes.

So no cops.

That's the fucking hidden gem of that.

What Walt's trying to say is he gave somebody a dollar and just drove 170 miles on the shoulder.

No, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't have nowhere to hide.

There's no way for the radar to hit you if you're behind that thing.

That's the fucking gem of it.

You can mad max your way down that.

If the Prius made it.

Yeah,

I didn't Mad Max it.

Well, you have a kid in the car, so I understand.

I just like the ability to not have any red lights in front of me and no white lights behind me.

Yeah.

I just like that feeling of like it doesn't really matter.

And I could go, so I could switch lanes without even signaling because there's nobody around.

Yeah, but what happened?

Everybody fell asleep, and I got my

GPS on, and for some reason, I guess they don't recognize these new lanes.

Yeah, and I got off, and I didn't even know I got off.

And I'm in like bad areas.

What do you mean?

Somebody's looking for those white lights.

Anybody in the devil's hat?

I don't know.

It's just, I don't even, I'm not saying just like

the living conditions were bad.

Right.

And it was just.

Crooked houses and such.

It was a, you know, it was like, and I had to get back on.

And the GPS, my GPS is useless.

I mean.

Tom Tom's letting you down?

I want to publicly apologize to you, Q, for getting on you last week about your language at Massachusetts Square Garden because

I called the lady on my GPS the C-word.

Whoa.

Because she can't do shit once you're lost.

It's always like, you made the turn too late.

Like, she's telling me to make turns, and I'm already past the turn already.

She's like, Where'd you get your license?

Shit like that.

What system are you using?

Are you still seriously using Tom Tom?

Because you could put

it in ways in.

Yeah, ways.

I know.

I already heard this from my daughter: that you can use your phone.

I already know that there's more better ways than using the TomTom, but I love that Tom Tom.

She's like, What are we doing in Ohio?

Like, how did this happen?

Is Tom Tom still in business?

Yeah, they have to.

Like, what is going on with Tom Tom?

It's not sustainable.

No.

So were they sleeping when you posted out the C-word?

Did it wake them up?

But it got in their dreams.

Well, at once, my wife started hearing me curse because I'm like lost.

And then she looks, and we're not on an expressway.

We're in, you know,

it's like, it's just a rougher neighborhood than you expect to be in when you wake up.

Wherever.

Like, why would you bring us here?

Because it's the fucking, it's the fucking GPS.

I'm like, tom tom it's this fucking bitch's fault you know and i'm going you know and i i so i want to look i i i said words that um

you would never have said on stage yeah you're like if i had a sialis i'd take it

so hard

to death tom tomorrow

so she was my daughter heard way worse in the car than she ever heard

i don't have to go through the msg tape or

would we still like to hold him accountable because i never got got it.

I think I have to say, I forgot all about that.

I have to say I would never take the $100 now.

Oh, really?

I would be very.

You would?

What's the word?

You should end up paying me $100.

I did not curse again.

I'll go double or nothing.

If Walt's backing out, I'll go $200 a year.

You have an independent auditor.

Yeah, I think you're, I mean, again, you have to say what the curse words, what constitutes a curse word.

If you're going to use the sh-me, you make a list.

Shit, you're going to.

I did not say shit?

I did not?

No, wait a minute.

Was it just you or the whole crew?

Me.

Oh, I know.

Wait, are we counting the green room?

Because if the unword counts as a curse, you said.

No,

it's the green room.

And that guy was asking for it.

Stupid cell.

Yeah, wow.

Yeah.

So, like, now, do you get, when you get that worked up by Tom Tom, is your wife trying to calm you down or does she just let you blow stacks?

I guess at first, but then when, like, and then when it continues to happen, like, the GPS still won't just continuously make a legal U-turn when possible after they already told me to go make a left here.

And then they're saying, okay, I made a left, and they're like, make a U-turn.

I'm like, why?

Why?

Why does she want me to make a U-turn?

She just said, go this way.

I fucking hate her.

I'm screaming and a lot more

colorful language.

Yeah.

I love it, man.

I wish I had one with you guys.

Oh, boy.

But we finally found our way back to the expressway.

Did you have to pay to get back on the private road?

Gladly.

I don't understand.

Like, how can I mean?

Is it?

I'm living like a king.

I spent two dollars to get there.

How can anybody not use these roads?

I don't understand.

I mean, is it that bad out there that, like, an extra buck, you're willing to battle that traffic when you can drive

hours on end that you could just drive with nobody around you?

I think it is that bad out there, yeah.

Well, Tom Tom bossing everyone around.

Who knows?

I would just think, like, I would see that, and I would be like, only a dollar?

Like, I would.

It was a dollar ten.

But I would be like, everyone, how annoying is is that then?

The extra 10 cents?

Because the dollar is easy.

Not at all.

Is it an easy pass?

So you don't even worry about it?

Oh, so you don't even worry about it.

Oh, okay.

But I would just assume that everyone was using that, so I'd be like, I don't know.

But you could see with your own eyes

as you see the entrance to the expressway and you're like, look ahead, you're like, wow, there's a million red lights in front of me.

Or I can go over here and there's money in front of me.

That's great.

Not great enough for making me want to go back again.

It was good, but it wasn't worth another eight-hour drive.

Right, right.

But I saw it.

So

there were shows and shows, ice skating and a zillion of lights.

With the guys?

No.

No.

No, that's the thing, though.

They didn't have any heater freeze miser?

They only had Rudolph, Rankin, and Bass characters.

There was

none of the secondary or even.

I didn't do a lot of investigation because I thought if I found out too much,

I might not want to go then.

I want to do something.

Right.

Ignorance is blessed.

Like, this is going to be an eight-hour each-way shot in the dark, 16-hours round trip within a 48-hour period.

You're going to spend a third of your next two days in a car listening to me curse out.

No, that was only one

Tom Tom.

Wow.

If anyone ever eats fucking shrimp at Thanksgiving again, just to himself at two in the morning,

he's just doing it.

He's like,

What?

The shrimp, the fucking shrimp.

The fucking cunk shrimp is what I'm talking about here.

You want to do an ad real quick?

I got a very important ad.

Oh, tell me it's blue juice, I hope.

It's not blue juice.

It's not blue juice.

It may be even more important than blue juice.

I don't know.

I think so.

I think this guy's been with us longer than in Blue Juice.

I think he's somebody that we got to come out for and really

major while he plays an ad.

Really?

Yeah.

He's this guy's.

Declan?

How'd you know it's for Declan?

Because I retweeted something from the other day.

Yeah, and you think dance and you think Irish jig.

Yeah.

Declan is offering one-on-one training

in blue jobs.

That's right.

I've given up the audio game and we're going to teach cocksucking classes.

Get your paper bags, lads.

Yeah, get your paper bags.

Get set for Disney because you're going to be the finest mouth in all the showers.

Actually, it has nothing to do with sex.

It's everything you need to know to deliver the best-sounding podcast to your audience.

We can't even do that.

And he works for us.

So, how is he making this claim?

Well, you didn't take the class, did you?

I didn't.

I did not take his class.

You thought you were too old to go back to school.

You thought you were too cool to go back to school.

I could be doing the triple Lindsay of podcasting.

But you're going to get Q, I'm sure you're wondering.

I am.

Including how to set up your studio,

Record crisp.

Microphone here.

Give me $200.

Record crisp sound.

Okay.

And repair any audio issues you'll face along the way.

That's a bold claim.

I don't know if that can happen.

Declan says he'll also cover how to master your audio for a clear and consistent sound for your audience and creating a professional final result that's ready for iTunes, SoundCloud, or your own website.

This beginner course starts December 4th, and advanced courses start on January 15th.

Oh, what do you get with the advanced course?

What could you learn there?

What does it say?

He does.

He's not very

more of the same.

But you want to know where you got to go to

sign up for these courses?

Yeah.

www.creakystudios.com slash train

training.

Creakystudios.com slash training.

And you'll get some more information there.

And everybody's starting a podcast nowadays.

And if you don't have Chris,

I mean, there is a very

competitive

form of, I guess, entertainment, you'd call it.

Yeah, I guess.

Well, I know he's done this in the past, and nobody's ever not been happy they've taken it.

Is there a meaning just texting me?

He wants to know if there's a class on how not to be boring on a podcast.

He and Mike are thinking about taking it together.

Creaky.

They also want to know if the blowjob thing is true because they want to learn to give each other better blowjobs.

That's Creaky Studios

slash training.

No, no, creakystudios.com/slash training.

And join up for, I would say get both classes.

I don't think you can go wrong.

The more you know, the better your podcast is going to be.

I mean,

it's going to join up.

I'm going to join up.

I'm going to attend at least one of the classes, and so I will be in the class, the virtual classroom with you people.

So, well, do you see everyone?

I don't think I'll be able to see them, but I'm going to like,

I'll type in some.

I'll type in some

hearts.

You're going to give some hearts?

Give some hearts.

Or whatever, like, you know, like, I guess.

Whatever kind of encouragement you can offer.

Well, I'm taking the class, so I'm going to bring back some tips for us, too.

Are you going to audit this class, or are you going to pay?

Oh, no, no.

Why would I hope?

I'm going to pay.

I'm going to pay for this class.

How much is it?

It doesn't matter.

I mean, can you put a price on a crisp-sounding podcast?

Yeah.

I want to know what it is.

You're not giving me financials.

Oh, he didn't give you the financials.

He didn't give me financials.

This is all he wants me to read.

But he doesn't know that I'm going to be attending this class.

He doesn't know, alright.

He doesn't know, but now he knows I'm going to be there, and I'm going to be there, and I'm going to be listening.

And if it gets too technical for me, I may drop out.

That'll be his first dropout.

I'm going to try to get a partial refund off.

Well, I guess all my cats aren't eating this week.

I mean, I've dropped out of every post-high school

thing I've ever done involving school.

Me too, except classes I took with Kev.

Those are the only ones I saw throughout the day.

So it's not looking good that I'll be making it to the graduation that Krieki gives, but I'm going to give it a shot, though.

Wow,

there's a whole ceremony, huh?

You're going to have to get your dockers out?

He should give virtual caps and diplomas.

He should.

Why not?

You know, it can't be much.

Just get like a...

a virtual diploma that he that I can that everybody can have at the end of taking the course.

Yeah, like you just type your name in there and then you can print it out at home.

Yeah.

Pretty Pretty sure they have those.

I mean,

if I finish that course, then yeah, I could.

Are you going to take the course too?

Maybe.

Well, you're not going to be doing it for free.

You're buying it.

We're both buying it.

You can't go.

It's no free ride.

Let me see what I'm doing.

This isn't.

How annoyed is he?

If I'm like, if it is a virtual classroom and there's other people, and if I keep asking really stupid questions

and not allow him to answer it.

Oh, my God, it would be amazing.

Like every time he goes to answer, you ask something else that's fucking even better.

Or I just type a big capital letter, Spitball.

LOL.

This is funny the first few weeks.

These people are paying good money.

This is my livelihood.

We got a lot, and a lot of listeners who are listening to Tom Steve Dave have gone on to start their own podcasts.

Right.

So I think this would be the perfect way to up your game a little bit with Creaky Studios backing you with a little bit of a compete with the big boys like us?

You're going to get the Christmas.

We're awarded the only podcast podcast ever.

We won an award.

The Christmas podcast from Stitcher.

Yeah.

All right.

If you really want to talk about something that we're done talking about creaky and we're talking about ads and shit, we have one that actually matters.

It's Casper.

Oh, boy.

Come on.

Bed's a great place, man.

Oh, dude.

You can do so much in bed.

Or nothing.

Or nothing.

Anything.

From nothing to anything.

Yeah, bed's pretty great.

Especially with today's technology, virtual reality shit, man.

Put on some virtual reality and pretend I'm fucking in the express lane, going to Virginia.

That'd be fucking awesome.

Let's see.

These are mattresses, Casper.

Perfectly designed for humans, engineered to soothe and cradle your natural geometry.

Regardless of what that is, I guess.

You could be like a stick man type character, or you could be a big, fat, 600-pound life character, and Casper's got you covered.

You spend a third of your life sleeping, so you should be comfortable.

This seems like too much, right?

A third of your life?

Yeah.

Eight hours a day.

Do you ever wish that God had made it so that we didn't need to sleep?

Yes.

I do too.

He did.

It's called methamphetamine.

But all seriousness, don't you wish that that was one of the things that humans didn't have to do is sleep?

It would be nice if we didn't have to sleep.

I mean, there's a lot of fun shit that goes on at night.

But then again, I don't know.

When you get bored,

no, you just.

Look at Ming's Instagram.

He's never bored.

A third of your life, though.

I mean, that's a lot of time doing nothing, God.

Why did you make it so?

What did Rick say?

He's like, he's talking about sleeping.

He's like, oh, you're supposed to sleep every night now?

He's like, nighttime makes up like half of all time or something like that.

Right.

Why would I sleep every night?

Yeah, it would be nice, man.

But it's like, isn't it like I've been, I mean, this is kind of unreal.

I've been working my way through the Nightmare on Elm Street movies again.

And like, lack of sleep seems to be like those kids, they try and stay up.

They hit that fourth day.

I'm talking about like eliminating the need for it.

So, like, humankind never even knew about sleep.

It's just like you never have to rest.

So, do animals sleep?

And are we like, what the fuck are they doing?

Lazy animals?

Just some thoughts I've been having.

What about dreaming, though?

You don't like dreaming?

It depends on the dream.

Sometimes I've had dreams I don't want to have.

Yeah.

All right, Casper.

So

they provide all the support the human body needs in all the right places.

They combine multiple supportive memory foams for a quality sleep.

Wow, we get it.

Breathable design helps you sleep cool.

That's what I need.

So hot at night.

Design developed and assembled in the United States.

Hot flashes?

Yeah.

You're in that feed.

Menopause.

Yeah,

you're in that age range.

If my room is above 65, I wake up every two hours and sweats.

I need a fucking cold.

That's pretty chilly.

People don't like staying in hotel rooms with me.

Well, for a couple reasons.

One of them being.

He doesn't shut the bathroom door.

And won't stop addressing people.

No, like, I keep it really cold.

I like to make it cold.

As cold as it will go.

Yeah.

I remember this year I stayed at a went to Comic-Con.

I stayed at this fucking fancy hotel in San Diego.

True booked it, and it was like...

It was really nice.

You walked in.

It was very she-she, fancy, like hip-type place.

Boutique?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They don't let the fucking AC go below 68 degrees because it's a green hotel.

Oh, my God.

I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

I'm like, this is.

You got to get green.

Couldn't sleep.

You got to get.

Well, you know what?

No, no, no, no.

You saved a couple trees, though.

Think about that.

Because you couldn't sleep that night.

At least two trees are still alive because of that.

Fuck the trees.

Trees could grow back.

My fucking night.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to sleep at night.

So

some tree.

You had a couple extra thorough pit stains, and you're telling me that's worth two.

No, I don't sleep.

I'm telling you, two hours I'm up sweating.

You're going to have taken a little NyQuil or something?

No, it's not.

Drugs?

That's a drug, is it?

Sure, it's a drug.

Now he's not considering it a drug because he took it.

Seasoning's a drug, according to you.

What's the

Botox?

Botox.

I never got around to it.

Just like sticking a needle in your fucking armpit.

That seems like super painful.

I'm sweating right now, dude.

It's too hot in here.

Oh, it's always hot.

I sweat no matter what.

Yeah, I sweat no.

It's not hot in here.

Your internal, your thermometer is not accurate, dude.

It's off.

It's like as fucking off kilter as my house.

I come in here sometimes.

I'm like, you gotta be fucking kidding me.

It's so warm, I know.

And you have that weird, you once said, Walt, that the cold makes you sleepy, which is the opposite of every other human being on the planet.

It was like the late show.

Drew would keep it real cool.

Yeah, you said that once.

But that's the opposite of every human being?

Yeah.

That cold makes you sleepy.

That doesn't make people sleepy.

Right.

I think only when you're like in hypothermia, you start getting sleep.

So it makes you

Right?

No, no.

You sleep better in cold.

No, no, no.

I sleep well at the temperature that a cold room and a blanket will.

I got the balance.

Okay.

Yeah.

Maybe I got the balance.

No, you don't.

I don't know about that, but you definitely do not.

Like, you want a sweatshirt.

Why are you summoning that you only got the balance?

Because everybody's the same line.

He's like every other fucking human being on Earth, and you're not.

You wear a sweatshirt in the summer.

You're like, I'm going to commit to a fucking sweatshirt.

It was a thousand degrees.

He was walking around Walt Disney World in a a fucking sweat.

It's crazy, like so humid, so hot.

And he's just like, I'm the normal one.

All right, what's the code?

Wait.

Oh, terms and conditions apply.

Terms and conditions definitely apply.

There's three mattress models: the original, Casper, the Wave, and the Essential.

You can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100-night risk-free sleep-on-it trial.

If you own a Casper, which we do, you're contracted.

Oh, if you're contracted to include a personal experience.

I don't know.

I don't think we are.

Well, I can tell you right now, I own three.

And if I have to buy a fourth, it will always be a Casper.

I will never not be a Casper man.

You'll always be a Casper man.

Ever in a Marlboro man?

I'm the fucking Casper man.

All right.

Well, it's much better for you sleeping on a bed than smoking cigarettes.

You're not as manly, though.

You laying there with your head under a Casper bed as a Marlborough man, like looking off into the distance.

I will agree.

The Marlborough Man had

a lot more grit.

Machismo.

Yeah, a lot more.

Shit doesn't fly anymore, though.

Right.

Machismo?

Yeah.

Fuck no, man.

Oh, yeah, I agree with you.

Yeah.

It's not in to be macho anymore.

Oh, I'm so 2017 with the fucking shelves and shit.

Yeah.

But a Marlboro man, he was a man's man, right?

Back in the day?

He was, and women don't like that.

Women like soft.

No, they don't.

Women like soft, sensitive, politically aware.

Some women.

Endlessly fucking gabbing about nonsense.

We also don't want to start in dudes.

We also don't want to.

These are men.

This is what passes for men, yes, today.

Also, you've fallen into the danger of speaking for a woman though when you say that, though.

Yeah.

I don't want to speak for anyone.

Oh, you just fucked up with the faux po.

Oh, man.

I faux po'd this one.

Shit.

How many Popo out there?

Faux Popo, I think.

Oh, let me just give this code real fast.

I must, I must, voice offer the unique URL, which I am happy to do.

This offer is only

applicable to a mattress purchase, and terms and conditions apply.

Start sleeping ahead of the curve with Casper.

Get $50 off any mattress purchase by visiting Casper.com/slash T-E-S-D.

Use that promo code at the checkout.

Terms and conditions apply.

Casper.com/slash.

Oh, wow.

I just saw something that really it's going against my nature

to not.

I don't know why they would write this on the fucking copy.

Do not address the following under any circumstances.

Don't do it.

Let's just get out.

Let's just get out before we gotta redo this.

Casper.com/slash T-E-S-D.

All right.

Oh, wait, it's up here.

And it's stuff that I wouldn't have mentioned anyway, I don't think.

Yeah, who would be aware of it, right?

Let me see.

Stuff that you're not supposed to be.

No, it's definitely not like common knowledge, any of this stuff.

So it's like if they just didn't put it on there, there would be absolutely no temptation.

Wow, I don't understand why anybody would mention these things at all.

No, I mean,

they definitely wouldn't want to mention the first one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or the third one.

All right.

So they got the code.

They got the terms and conditions.

Slash T-E-S-D.

Slash T-E-S-D Casper.

What is this?

We've moved a couple mattresses for the Casper company.

I think so.

I think we have.

And I don't know

what kind of numbers that they hope to get off of a podcast commercial, but

I would have to think that if we haven't hit it,

we've come pretty darn close.

The Black Friday thing, I took this picture.

Is this what counts as fucking breaking news now?

It was in regard to Black Friday,

and it says

breaking news.

This is on CNN.

Okay.

Black Friday shoppers spent 17% more this year while in-store foot traffic dipped slightly.

Is that news?

Well, in the 24-hour news cycle, yes.

It is news.

Yeah.

Sure.

That means that's the death of the fucking

brick and mortar.

Yeah, that's what they're portending.

I don't know.

What's going to be the last brick and mortar to

what's going to be the last standing brick and mortar?

Not the same sound box.

Same box, bro.

That's possible, sure.

I'm talking about your big places,

your Macy's, your JCPenney's.

I don't know.

They say Best Buy is doing good now.

Best Buy is?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I think that I don't think they'll ever go away.

People like things.

People like going places and seeing things.

They do.

I found today was way busier than Friday.

You were out shopping today, too?

No, I mean, I had to come here.

Oh, really?

No, no, no.

And also, we went to breakfast.

Yeah.

Sage and I.

So, yeah.

I don't know.

I don't go out anymore.

I sound enough.

Go to a store.

Go to the mall.

You have to go to the mall, Walt.

I go to the mall almost twice a week.

I have to pick up my daughter.

I call it.

Oh, that's right.

I just haunt the mall.

Wait for her to get out.

Yeah, like he doesn't know what to do anymore.

Like zombies that go back to places they used to frequent after their bedroom.

Like twice a week, I'm in the freehold mall wandering around by myself into stores that I would never walk into.

Like the beanbag chair store.

Yeah, and I like the beanbag chair.

Did I tell you this?

Yeah, you were like, I don't know how the fuck.

Yeah, I'm like, I just, I look, I do around, I go, I do a circle around the entire mall, and I make a point to go back to him before it's time for me to go just to see if he has any customers because he never has one.

There's still cobwebs on him, or if they're still breathing.

All he does is play in his phone.

He never looks up from his phone no and he doesn't have to because there's nobody ever in here do you ever go in or you just won't no i'm not going to go in because i know i'm going to make him get off his phone for what up for what so i could be like cool beanbags yeah because i know i'm not going to buy i won't do that to him because i know how shitty it would be what are some of the other stores that you've got into that i go into all the time that i i mean like uh there's a sports store there the spencer's um the

spencer's you can get yourself some ij yeah i look there's no they don't have the ij figures at the freehold raceway mall do they have t-shirts and shit?

I didn't look for T-shirts because I wouldn't have picked up the T-shirts.

I don't care about your shirts.

No, no, no.

I don't care either.

I don't give a fucking dime for me of what you're asking.

I was going to flip the figures if they had them.

I was going to bring them back here and have you sign them and flip them, but they didn't have them.

I mean, it's not that exciting.

I mean, actually, and there's this one place there's like a an what's Xbox?

What's

Microsoft?

There's a Microsoft store there that has a giant screen in the middle of the the mall where you could sit and play games.

And

it's never not empty where I could just sit down and play it.

Even I'm there all the time, but this one time it was last week.

And as soon as I sit down and play it, like 15 kids just

come right up and just are fucking their runny noses are all over me and they're like, so I'm just gonna- Little kids?

Yeah, little kids.

So then I have to give them the controller because I'm not gonna sit there for me to finish this game.

What game was it?

It was like a soccer game.

You got the new soccer game for FIFA.

I had to stop playing FIFA because I just

aged out.

I don't understand how to do any of it anymore.

Oh, the buttons.

I'm lost.

It happened to you with hockey, right?

It happened to me with hockey.

It happened to you with Madden.

You aged out.

Wow.

I aged out.

I'm aged out of most things that are multiplayer.

I'm just not good at it.

I've been playing that Friday 13th game like fucking crazy lately.

I just picked that up.

I love it.

I love it.

But I'm so bad at it.

And if I'm Jason, because the way it is, is one person, it's random.

Seven people play.

One person's assigned Jason.

Everybody else is counting.

Yeah.

Do you have to do co-op or you can?

You have to do co-op.

You can do private.

Like, you and I can play against each other.

Okay.

But

if I'm Jason,

it's a party.

Like, they can literally stand in front of me and start dancing and shit like that.

And I can't kill them.

I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

I'm slightly.

So they told you.

Did they hurt you?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

They told you.

Do you find yourself pushing the buttons in a random mode, like harder, thinking that's going to happen?

No,

I don't get, this is one thing where I'm lucky I don't get angry.

Like I know that I'm like when I sit down to play, no part of me thinks there's going to be any improvement in my Jason.

And you randomly get it.

So I'll get Jason once every 10 times.

And when that time comes, I'm like, all right, I'm just walking around swinging an axe at a bunch of fucking people, and that's it.

100% people get away from me every time.

100%.

It's look, that guy's Jason again.

That fuck's pathetic.

That's what happened when I would play Happy Online.

You know, I would be like, all right, I got this online thing.

I'll try to play somebody online.

I literally, as soon as I touch the puck, someone knocks me down.

Yeah.

And you can't get back up.

And it's like, it just sucks.

It's horrible.

It sucks.

What weeks in the game not playing it.

When they first put the Jason game out, the other camp counselors could kill you.

And then I'd be playing, and then like some fucking kid would just hit me on the back of the head with a bat,

and I'd be dead.

And you can't restart.

You have to watch the rest of the game.

So I'd just watch this kid who killed me running around killing.

So they got rid of that, and only Jason can kill you now.

Where's the awesome part?

Because you all you're talking about is shit that i'm no if i'm a camp counselor if you're a camp scounseler it's fucking awesome you got to repair the phones you gotta like you gotta it's like tense it's tense as shit

oh nice thank you uh it's tense as stacey's pulling up five tips to play as jason it's not gonna help i've looked um and then the other thing too is they they have these um tapes they're called the pamela voorhees tapes and the tommy jarvis letters where randomly you find it and they they built out this storyline uh it's like farmer's Farmer's Daughter.

Yeah, and actually, Adam Green wrote a bunch of them.

Remember Farmer's Daughter?

What a great call.

Wow.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

I haven't thought about that game in 30 years.

And Adam Green wrote a bunch of them.

And I have never once found either one of them.

No.

But Kane did the motion capture.

It's a fun game.

If you're a counselor, for me, it's fucking a lot.

It's tense.

You get nervous and shit

because the music gets louder as Jason gets closer.

So when you start hearing that,

you're like, oh, shit.

I mean,

it's pretty fun.

It's fucking daunting today.

Does your phone keep going off?

Yeah, well.

Did you hear it?

Yeah, well, it's interview.

Yeah, it's giving the fucking face.

It's all right.

Declan will fix it.

Oh, yeah.

There's nothing you can't fix, right?

So you won't hear any clicking in this episode.

And if you do, you just want to act to Quinn and ask him what the fuck.

But they're daunting.

Like, Like you buy a video game and you're like,

I would suspend you for a class for that comment if I was Declan.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I got suspended from online podcasting class?

Huh.

If anybody would, right?

You've got to send a letter to Peminer.

I'd make you stay after school for that comment.

Yeah, just me.

He's like, no, you're going to be punished.

Multiplayer.

Well, multiplayer.

It's too daunting to even.

You get a new video game, you look at the controls and what each of them do.

I'm like, how the fuck am I going to remember all this shit?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm good with first-person shooters.

They can be as complex as I like, and I get it.

Something about sports games, you have to think too fast.

Or I just can't do it.

Yeah, that's the thing that's like, that's kind of killed me.

It killed my passion for video games because I can't play them.

They're too hard to...

Like you said, your response time needs to be

instant.

There is no time.

Or else uh can't do anything on the on the screen and i

you know when i was at the bush gardens i thought i saw this old school response time uh i haven't seen one of these in decades and i was mesmerized by this this fellow he had a rubik's cube and he had this he had his ipad and a real rubik's cube and he was i was sitting in uh one row behind him and i was watching him he would he would start he would have his his girlfriend or his sister start the um start the ipad timer she would like fuck up the rubik's cube give give it to him.

He'd be like, His hand was like,

it was amazing.

How old was he?

He was about 20.

There's a guy on my crew that does it too.

Unreal.

Were you good at the Rubik's Cube?

No, I peeled the stickers off and put them back on in the correct order.

Wow.

Yeah, I was never.

Wow, that's easy.

Mom, I'm a genius.

Oh, our boy.

You pulled the stickers off.

That's the real sign.

You could at least have tried to get one side.

No, they didn't look good because they always have the bent corners there.

You can tell.

You can tell.

Someone's been there.

Nobody was stickers off.

It was just a monument to my shamish.

Look what I did.

The stickers never went on perfectly, right?

So they're always cockeyed, like Bryce House.

If I do a Rubik's Cube in my house, no one will know if I took the stickers off.

You're awesome.

I never could do the Rubik's Cube either, but I was amazed that there's somebody still out there that has those skills and cares about it.

Spinning it like

it was water, the Rubik's Cube.

I was in Bed Bath and Beyond, and I saw they have the old Atari and the old Sega Genesis.

Those, like, you don't want to exactly return to that because that sucks.

Like, that shit sucked.

But the stuff today.

I was reading an article.

They said, like,

people who play video games, like, to test out video games, they, like, peak at, like, 21 or something, or 22.

Yeah.

Like, after that, your reaction time goes down.

Oh, dude, I'm reading this book now called

Fuck High Ancient Brains in a High Tech World.

And it's all about how

social media and

phones and texting have fucking destroyed the human brain.

Like, I believe it.

Destroyed.

And the book is, it's not some dude writing it, like, who's angry at the world.

These are like scientists at sleep centers and thinking and think, think fucking tanks and shit like that.

It's, you don't even fucking know.

A healthy brain before

you even get into all the phone shit peaks at like 23 years old.

And then it's a fucking, like, you, you, it's weird.

It's like, it's like this, the build up, build up, build up.

You get to like 22, 23, right?

It slows down.

You hit 28 and it fucking.

So you got a nice five-year plateau.

And then it zooms down and then and then it evens out for about 20 years and then it slowly starts going down.

But the fucking that cliff you fall off of from your 20s to your 30s is

daunting, man.

It's fucking daunting.

You look at it.

It's over for us.

We're living in it.

We're living in it.

I maintain, though, that

all these, this younger generation,

especially the females,

they're going to have a hard time when they got to put their phones down and raise children, I think.

Dude, forget that.

It's every single thing.

People don't even know.

What's happening, what's coming is a worldwide epidemic.

Not that only females raise children.

Right.

I didn't mean that.

Look at Brian.

Look at me.

But I'm saying, like, if you go from living on your phone, and then all of a sudden now you've got to take care of a child 24-7, that's a big difference in

your lifestyle.

I don't know if they're going to be able to handle it.

I think a lot of kids are going to get under,

what's the word?

Like, not given the proper attention that they would have needed.

Well, they won't, if their mom or dad or whoever was paying attention to them, instead of fucking checking Facebook every three seconds, they'd be able to nurture them and

teach them the shit that they're they're doing.

But I think that

they're addicted to the

that's what they do.

Thank you for noticing that.

But

I think that, like, especially in those

real early years

post-birth,

when it's blown out,

that

it's that's when you're like so much attention has to be given to the care of a child.

I don't know if they're going to have that ability.

Nobody's going to have the ability to do fucking anything, dude.

It's crazy.

The book goes back, dude.

It goes back to tell you how, like, how our brains work, back to why we think and animals don't think.

What's the name of this book?

It's called Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World.

You finished with it?

Almost.

Almost.

You can have it.

I'd like to get the best.

He's so studious with the podcast classes and now reading books

with this guy, a fucking scholar.

It's depressing.

It's depressing.

Has it changed the way you act or the way you behave?

Whoa.

Oh, Oh, yeah.

Really?

How so?

Because now I know, now I'm aware that I'm addicted to looking at my phone, and I know why.

Can you tell us why?

Can you give us a question?

Sure can.

It's connected to risk-reward.

You've basically short-circuited your brain to like, that's right.

Because

now when you look at your phone,

you get that rush that you just...

like instant gratification, you're getting information, shit that you have to look at.

I'm never going to get it.

No, no, no.

It doesn't matter.

It's never, it's like you, you, how often you look at the phone, how long you look at social media.

How it's all this old shit from when we were cavemen and trying to survive and release of chemicals.

Now the phone is doing it when you haven't fucking done anything.

So instead of chasing down a mastodon, you're fucking reading Twitter.

You're on Facebook.

And do you believe that?

I know it's true.

How do you know?

You do it.

Because I feel it.

I feel it.

I never chased down a mastodon.

How do you know it?

No, but I fucking, but I, but.

But he was in a pre-internet world.

Yeah.

So what were you chasing down?

I mean, I was a fireman.

Yeah.

So there you go.

You're fighting fires.

Fuck off.

Jason saw you beat him up maybe as a kid.

Jason pulls.

Gratification.

No.

Instant if you're BQ.

Dude, it's crazy.

It's more instant than a fucking iPhone.

Oh, yeah.

I don't even need to press a button.

Who should write a book about that shit?

It's

all right.

So basically,

I don't know how much you want me to go into it.

There's a lot going on.

With good looks.

Well, at this point, his money is enough.

I would take his face in his bank account any day of the week.

Yeah.

So what's the, how do you stop?

Well, it's not only that.

It's like, like, we're breezing over everything.

Like, it's, it leads to depression.

It leads to anxiety.

Because now, if you don't check your phone, like, put your phone down for a fucking hour, like, most people, maybe not everybody at this table, like get instantly this feeling that's akin to when a parent gets separated from a child.

Like the same meters go off in your body, and the whole world is just fucking being funneled into this, and it's getting worse and worse and worse.

What's the

is there, is there some sort of way to stop this, or is it inevitable?

It's past the point of no return.

There's a way to stop it.

I don't think people do it.

You got to be aware of it.

You got to be like, I'm not looking at my phone.

I'm not.

You got to understand that you're already addicted.

But what's the harm, though, if like.

You're saying Walt Flanagan has an addiction.

I don't know if Walt does.

He needs to go to rehab.

But what's the harm?

He's the only one checking his phone this whole time.

My phone's underneath my chair.

Because I had to have you put it down there.

It's buzzing and beeping and fucking all sorts of.

But it's everything.

It's how, like, back in the day, you used to go home from work.

You used to be with your family.

Now, if you don't answer a work email at 8 o'clock at night, not only you're a piece of shit, but somebody else answers that email.

So now the competition for work is at the home.

It's everything.

Dude, this book is like basically like

we're just fucked.

They don't say it.

They just like, here are the facts, come to whatever conclusion you're coming to.

What would they say about this?

I haven't looked at my email since

probably the cruise ended.

Yeah.

Is that good?

I think they'd be happy with that.

I think it's really like they're more concerned about the young generation.

They don't care about me.

I don't think anybody cares about us anymore.

Like he plateaued.

He's falling off steadily.

Your brain's shot.

The white matter in your brain's already falling apart.

Like you're done.

I mean.

No?

No.

There's still hope.

I don't think that

I didn't have the phone to.

I had a flip phone for the longest time.

It doesn't matter that you had a flip phone at first because fucking everyone had a flip phone at first.

We're talking about smartphones.

But I had a flip phone while all you fuckers were

surfing the net.

But it's not just that, it's eBay.

It's how many times you check.

Oh, eBay is shit.

It's everything.

It's everything.

He came in today.

He was all mad about an eBay thing.

Don't mention it.

No, no, no, no.

You can mention it.

It's not true.

I'm just shaking my head because it's not true.

Yeah, it's a scary book, man.

It's scary because people are not going to.

Well, that's what I'm talking about.

I think that this generation that's aging into

parent-to-parenthood

time,

I think they're going to have mad issues

with what comes with having to raise a child and not be constantly on your phone and everything.

You're talking about women, like you said earlier, right?

Well, traditionally,

it would be a woman, but not today, though.

It would be both.

Because I see it when I'm out and about.

I see the

restaurant and I see a really young baby, and both mom and dad are

really worried about the phone and not really paying attention to

their newborn, basically.

I wish cell phones were around when I was a kid, so neither of my parents paid attention to me.

I might have made it out right.

Yeah, like nobody's thinking.

Nobody's thoughtful anymore.

And I don't mean an apply.

I'm not a good argument, though, that maybe there are people who are thinking and using the phone to do great things, right?

Or the Internet to use great things.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

This book isn't

really

town over by contest.

That's the epitome of

the sign of the sign of the apocalypse.

The decline of Western civilization was

when Bribe Lewahorn and

Seal was opened.

Yeah, it's a pretty eye-opening book.

I'm glad I read it.

I'm glad I'm reading it.

Are you going to be able to wean yourself off this cell phone addiction?

Is there hope for you?

I have already been successful.

Yeah, I noticed, by the way, you don't answer text, bitch.

Yeah.

I'm telling you about Gumby and Pokey.

I'm fucking.

Fucking true, dude.

I'm telling you.

I've taken a new approach.

And what's more is like now when I'm doing it, I can catch myself and be like,

fuck Brian Johnson.

A fucking Gumby Pokemon guy.

Well, I say,

should me and Brian have a certain code, like a 911, answer this one?

No,

I'll answer you guys, I guess, from here on out.

You haven't been, no?

But a lot of the stuff I send you, I don't really expect an answer.

Okay, you should check this out.

Let me ask you a question.

I don't expect you to answer.

Let me ask you, this not answering thing that you're bringing up suddenly

last month and a half?

Not generally?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's just I've had the most stressful month of my life.

So I have, I've been like fucking completely unconnected.

I feel that you've gone,

baby.

This This will make a certain person feel much better if you're going to say that you haven't been answering them because of your this this newfound

who is it first let's make sure we want to make them feel better

no it's like I know somebody who goes out of his way to send you funny and

oh the same guy that sends us

shit that I don't answer

you never you he sends us group texts and you've never once fucking weighed in on the group text well hold on and I come in in the morning and I'm like and I'm just like when are you you going to give up?

He's never going to answer your text.

I said, he doesn't give a fuck.

When he texts me one-on-one, I answer him.

He just, Thursday, November 16th, 9.27 p.m.

I got a video of a robot doing backflips.

He goes, we are all fucked.

Might as well give up and let the robot overlords use our flesh as they please.

This is Gethem.

Fucking Johnson goes, Get him 2000 just became obsolete.

Get him replies, this is all within two minutes.

I can't even do a standing flip, but some immortal robot can.

Even stares a wall won't stop it.

What am I supposed to say?

Where's my handle on this conversation?

Three letters.

Okay, LOL.

L-O-L-L.

I've never written that.

I've never written L-O-L my life.

I'm going to right now answer this LOL.

There we go.

Two weeks later.

There we go.

I can't.

Sometimes it's just about, even if you don't feel like answering it, you just got to acknowledge it.

Sometimes you just got to say, like, you know what?

Because isn't that your responsibility?

To go

all day.

Whoever texts you.

This is what I'm talking about.

This is what the world is all fucking worked up about.

Your ancient brain is trying to deal with this.

Oh, it's important to get him, so it's got to be important to everybody.

That's the fucking world we live in, everybody.

If it matters to one person, it's got to matter to everybody.

Sometimes you just need to be recognized by your heroes.

I'm not his hero.

Or his friend.

Yeah.

Or his acquaintance.

Well, whatever.

No,

I do consider him a friend, but what am I supposed to say to that?

I got no bandwidth for fucking leaping robots.

Sometimes I'll.

It did look, did you watch a video?

Yeah, I watched it.

It looks pretty interesting.

Yeah, but

it looks like CGI or a person doing it, like in a robot suit.

It looks great, but it's...

Why do you got to answer?

I answered Forrest.

Now,

the text he should have sent to the group was the one he sent on Thanksgiving night.

I just said.

Goodbye, Cruel World.

I didn't get one on Thanksgiving night.

He sent me a text on Thanksgiving night around 10:30 at night.

He goes, I just pulled out to my house.

There's all sorts of cops here.

And that'll answer.

And I'm like, whoa, what the fuck's going on?

And I'm like, and so

I waste five minutes and I'm like, end?

What the fuck?

What happened?

And he goes, and then he writes back a half hour later, oh, a deer got hit.

So a cop showed up?

I just got accused, Texas.

I mean, I've never, that's the first time in my life I've written LOL, even as a joke.

So that's all he's getting from from me for that.

Well, you know what?

You know, he feels good, right?

He can always put a notch in his belt that you were his, you were Giddam was your first LOL.

He will find some pride in that.

I know the man.

All right, good.

He wrote something one-on-one that's actually pretty good.

Lena Dunham is literally a waste of chemicals and oxygen.

She would do more for this world if she would just decompose.

He wrote this

angry to me about

she's at the girls.

She's the creator of that show, Girls, on HBO.

Oh, I don't even know who's done.

Why does he care that?

Lucky.

You know why he sent that to you?

Because you fucking kindred souls right there.

Well, yeah, I'll tell you what.

I was happy.

I was loling.

Dude, I was loling like crazy when I found out all the shit she caught.

It was great.

Big mouth.

Should I say tell them, Steve David?

Yeah, now let's talk a little bit longer about Get'em.

It's called The Distracted Mind, Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World.

And it's by Adam Gazzelli.

This is a rare treat, Walt.

We have Frank Five here to talk about Myundis, which I do through text message like all day, all the time with him.

But

today, you can.

Do you have any Myundis?

Has your wife, has Mrs.

Five gotten you any Myundis?

No, not yet.

She has not?

No.

What are you waiting on?

I don't know.

What's the deal?

What's the deal, Ms.

Five?

You like him going Commando, this sexy motherfucker right here?

Quicker access, I guess.

Right.

Frank Five, you probably don't know this, but every year millions of people receive the least liked gift of all time, underwear.

But we still give it to our family and loved ones.

I gave my mom a thong last Christmas.

She seemed to not love it.

But maybe it's not the underwear that's a problem, it's the kind of underwear.

The thong.

It turned out to be the kind of underwear.

Yeah, if you had given her a Model thong, maybe

it would have turned out different.

Isn't that the three times softer than cotton?

Yeah.

That's why she was upset, not because you had given her a thong.

It was because I made it myself out of burlap.

That's what she got upset about.

They have a soft, flexible.

Talk about why you love Miandis.

Why do you love them waltz?

It's the softest material on the planet.

I saw sheets.

I was at Bed Bath and Beyond.

I've been buying sheets lately, and

they had,

it said it was like the same kind of material, kind of, as Miandis, but it just didn't feel the same.

It wasn't a significant thing.

They claimed it, or you just assumed it wasn't.

It was like sateen and some.

Oh, yeah, you need modal.

What's it called?

What's the name of Malal?

Modal or Malta.

Modal.

That's what you need.

I mean, I wish everything was made out of Miundi's produced every

like shirts, pants, socks.

Everything.

The whole ensemble.

Shoes.

Yeah.

Come on, Miundi's.

Go with it.

They make the perfect gift that everyone is going to love you for.

That's true.

This year, don't give underwear, give me ones.

And if you want to do that, you will get an exclusive 20% off the softest underwear and socks you will ever wear.

Free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Go to meundis.com/slash T-E-S-D.

That's meundis.com/slash T-E-S-D.

It's a goddamn holiday miracle, Walt.

All right, we're done with that one.

That was quick.

That was good.

There's another one, too, huh?

Yep.

What's the other one?

They're nice and short now after I complained about them being three pages long.

Blue apron.

Ah, blue apron.

Yeah.

Who gets their money's worth out of blue apron more than you, Walt?

With the spices and all the stuff they send.

You love it, right?

Frank Five brought a, what is it, tomato pie?

Tomato pie.

That's a local delicacy?

It is.

Upstate New York.

Upstate New York.

That's fucking ghetto pizza is what it is.

It's cold and there's no cheese on it.

Well, yeah, it's like the sauce is on top of the cheese and you eat it cold.

Oh, there's cheese underneath?

Yeah, there's cheese in there, yeah.

What kind?

No, Ms.

Vive is saying no.

Oh, you don't know what the fuck we're talking about.

She's talking about cooking.

Are you talking about the cooking?

You guys are from.

She doesn't cook.

You did tell a story about going to McDonald's, and

she was paraded up to the counter in a huff and said, this chicken tastes like shit.

And I'm sure the guy's like, yeah.

What the fuck did you think it was going to taste like?

Nothing's good enough for her, no.

Some things evidently she'll settle for.

So, what happened?

What did the McDonald's guy do for you after you complained?

We were on a date.

It was a date, Donald.

I was ready to go to teach my night class, and I called her up in her office and I said, I'm thinking of just going to McDonald's really quick before I go to my class.

Do you want to come?

Well, that's where you're going.

And I said, Well, yeah, that's where I have to go because I have to be at this class in a half hour.

So, I brought her, and the minute she got in the car to the minute I brought her back to the school, it was non-stop complaining.

I respect it.

Well, what do you want?

It's McDonald's, though.

Well, it was it was more about the company, is what it should have been.

Not so much.

It's not where it's not where you're eating or what you're eating, it's who's at the table.

Exactly.

Yeah,

I'm sure that's what you live by, right?

There's not pizza on the table.

So, so, how did McDonald's make do?

Bank bet, good for you.

Well, we got there, and first, you know, she complained where we sat, so we had to move a couple of times.

In all fairness to Miss Five, they were sitting next to a smelly, homeless guy.

Yes,

who followed us.

And then there was the one guy who burped in her face.

I thought it was a baby.

It was an adult.

Yeah, it was an adult kid.

An adult kid.

It was a teenager.

And then her food, she'd been into.

I was done by the time she was in the middle of the day.

Was it like a little hiccup or was it like a belch where he's like, brrrrrrrrrrrrrh!

Like right in her face?

Didn't you do anything about it?

No, well, I was eating.

All right.

That explains.

I mean, to be fair, it is McDonald's.

I mean, how much do you expect of decorum and manners and

appetizing food?

I think the postscript to it was funny, though.

She's like, after she complained about the chicken, she's like, it tastes like shit.

She's like, I'll take a cheeseburger.

As if, like, that's going to be better.

He told her it was old.

He slumbered with this chicken.

Yeah, he literally told her it was old.

The guy at McDonald's?

Yeah, yeah, the manager it's old.

So he said he comped you the nuggets and gave you the cheeseburger?

He gave me a.

He's a chicken sandwich and he said what would you like I said just give me a cheeseburger because I just wanted to go he's like well how about a quarter pounder I'm like no just a cheeseburger he goes well I'll give you a chew because there's a quarter pounder sitting up on that thing

so by the time she came back with her food I was already done and ready to go yeah

but I mean you don't have to worry about you that's why you should have blue apron yeah ready to roll at a meet at a moment's notice and if any office and if anybody could cook or you know if they make it easy for anyone, then I definitely need it.

Yeah, it is.

It's the leading meal kit delivery service in the U.S.

And while people may know what we do,

and

while many people know what we do,

many don't know about the other types of meals you eat when you cook with the waiter.

I don't know what that sentence means.

You're not just having burgers for dinner, Miss Five.

These aren't just regular old McDonald's burgers.

You're making short rib burgers with a hoppy cheddar sauce on a pretzel bun.

Now that's what you'd like to become become accustomed to, not this dog shit ghetto food that he's bringing you out for.

Basically, you're getting what you pay for.

I mean, isn't a cheeseburger like a dollar or something?

They don't have a dollar menu anymore.

They don't have a dollar menu.

Oh, so you guys are frequent McDonald's.

You know that you go that the dollar menu no longer exists.

Yes.

They also use counterfeit coupons.

Frank Five was any way they could get

food.

They say the food stinks.

It's horrible.

There's people burping in my face.

Can I just please give me a free cheeseburger?

Keep going to different McDonald's.

Their pictures are definitely hanging up in the employee break room.

You're going to be preparing seared steaks, Frank Five, with thyme pan sauce and mashed potatoes, green beans, and crispy shallots, all in under 45 minutes without a trip to the grocery store.

Want to know some general Blue Apron facts?

I mean, who doesn't?

Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient recipe delivery service in the country.

Their mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone.

In front of all these points, it says Blue Apron.

I guess that's like the repetition.

They're trying to really hammer at home that it's Blue Apron, I suppose.

So just put Blue Apron in front of all the shit I'm about to say.

Blue Apron.

They achieve this by supporting a more sustainable food system, setting the highest standards for ingredients, and building a community of home chefs.

Blue Apron offers three meal plans: the

two-person meal plan, meals that serve two people.

Well, yeah.

Choose from eight new recipes per week with a choice to receive two or three recipes any week blue apron the family meal plan that serves four people choose from four new recipes a week with choice to receive either two three or four recipes any week blue apron wine plan now can you get behind this wall teetotaler six bottles of wine from renowned winemakers delivered monthly

You could be like Johnny Depp, remember?

Like you're the Johnny Depp of Monmouth County.

I wouldn't have no need for the wine plan, but

I know that's a big thing with people, though.

They love wine, people.

They love to have a glass of wine.

I've heard

it makes your taste buds even more

intense.

It gives you a refined palate almost.

Oh, hey, thanks for joining us, Fucko.

We're over here fucking paying the bills.

We're just doing an ad real quick.

Makeup ad.

One of a billion makeup ads that we have to do.

We're still $999 million.

All right, so any more

Frank Five, what the fuck?

Come on, we're not done here.

See monthly recipe sheet for current recipes.

Although it doesn't appear that they gave it to me, so just go to blueapron.com and you're going to see it there.

There's not even a fucking code on this.

There are no conditions.

Terms and conditions apply.

I'm assuming it's blueapron.com slash T-E-S-D, but it seems to be only one page here.

Blue Apron,

would they have something, would that be an upstate New York, the tomato pie?

Would that be something that's for fancier?

Is that like something that you see the blue apron van in the rich neighborhood?

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, not where people are like, come on, man, just

eat the chicken sandwiches.

Stop shooting at me.

All right, yeah.

Blueapron.com/slash T-E-S-D.

That's

blueapron.com slash T-E-S-D.

Oh, thank you.

Terms and conditions, as usual.

Definitely apply.

Of course,

I don't want to sound like an old man, but

it's too late.

But I do wonder if it's the ⁇

if Bill Gates and the people, and who's the other guy, the guy that died?

Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs.

I wonder if they will be.

No, Michael Dell in there.

No love for him?

I don't know who that is.

Dell Computers.

Oh, okay.

All right.

I wonder if they will be

remembered in the same

vein as

one of the most evil men in the world.

Will they be our generation's Hitler?

I don't think so.

He's like, what?

Didn't I give those guys money to make a podcast?

Like, he literally gave $80 million to Alzheimer's research last week.

He fought diseases nobody has, nobody really cares about in this country.

But he also gave us a technology to become virtual zombies.

Without that technology, who knows how much better a society we would be right now?

And how bad it's going to get in the future.

I'm not talking about in our lifetime, we'll be looked upon as zombies.

Yeah, who gives a fuck?

And not his lifetime.

He'll never have to worry about it.

But

I'm talking about three or four generations ahead of us when it's really, really bad.

Will we look upon them not as the tech geniuses, but as the evil

geniuses?

I know.

You may be right.

I'll tell you why, because

in 2017, there's no personal accountability.

Two centuries from now, with phones and all this other shit, people will be like, just like now, everyone then was a jerk.

Nobody knew what the fuck they were talking about.

What's this statue of Brian Quinn?

What the fuck's practical jokers?

Let's not get the fuck down.

No, not mine.

I wouldn't.

No.

That should be preserved.

Try to tell him Steve Dave then that I missed that market.

Yeah, go ahead.

What the fuck?

Go on.

Say it.

I don't know.

I don't know if you're building up to something.

No, no, no, because you saying tell him Steve Dave means I then have to go home.

I don't want that.

Oh man, what do we just stay here all night?

I'll do it.

I remember we talked about that.

Dave, I want to set the

world record for the most hours consecutive podcast.

Adam Green does 48 straight hours every year for a Yorkie thing, so we'd have to go longer than that.

And he did set a Guinness Book World Record.

Did he?

So we'd be taking it from Adam?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

What can we do it for?

Some meaningless charity.

Well, no, it's for our charity.

We'll just do it for us.

Yeah, just for our, just to get us.

We'll do it for the hearts.

So we would have to, we would do it in the store?

I don't think we all have to do it, too.

We would just come in and shifts.

We have guests come in.

Well, that's cheating.

Adam and Joe do it.

Like they said that for us.

But going back to that, like staying up too long, like I remember me, you, and Hartsgrove, we stayed up for three days.

We stayed up for 72 hours.

By the end of that 72 hours,

you can't think straight.

I remember Edgar was trying to show, probably not the greatest thing to do

with missing 72 hours of sleep, was he's trying to show me something on the lawnmower.

And I remember sitting there, I was like squatting and just like, my eyes were closing, and I was crazy.

And then after this, Son, I'm going to show you how to to put up a shelf.

I'm like,

tell him, Steve, there you go.

Get your shit, Cedric, going home.

Hey, Declan, you know what you should also offer in these courses?

How to make like

high-end, like really

audible, crazy ads like we used to do back in the day before we got shut down.

Yeah.

Oh, you know, that's more content than you know, like, you know, that's like he could, he would be, he was on the front lines of like, you know, making

Miyundi's trend and CD.

I mean, he was there.

It's not like.

Why are you taking it from him?

You never had it.

Real quick, I wanted to do an ad for

the Tell him Steve, TSD TV, still available digitally.

The hottest new channel.

I was looking at Twitter.

People

seem to really like it.

Which I'm happy for.

But you want to do more, right?

No.

No.

No, no, no, no.

Not because it wasn't fun to do, because

we didn't really do anything.

That was all Harris Kahn who did it all.

I can't imagine he wants to do it again.

But

let's bask in the glory of this one, though.

Okay.

In the glow of this.

I'm already looking down the road, baby.

I didn't realize.

I thought physical media was dead.

Everyone told me that nobody wants physical media.

I got to apologize.

No, I'm not talking about it.

But I was one of the people who was like, why the fuck?

No.

I can't believe it.

No, I was just like, I feel like people don't really care about it.

I do, but I just felt like people didn't.

But it's okay to be wrong because we can fix it, people.

Go right now, hopefully.

Well, hopefully when this drops, they'll be restocked.

We have some Blu-rays back at the merch table site.

They are not signed, though.

We're going to rush them right from production right to the fulfillment house.

These won't, unfortunately, won't be signed.

Who signed them the first time?

The three of us?

Everybody except Ming

who was involved with the TSD TV.

I got to sign it.

But Ming was never around to sign them.

Okay.

But this time we're going to go, if you want it.

But we got that Sunday, Jeff, which is rare.

On the last batch?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But this new batch that we're trying to sell right now,

no signatures.

Yeah, but also I'll drop the price a little bit, too, since there's no signatures.

Okay.

We'll drop the price.

$1.10 off.

Driving that freeway.

Yeah, so if you go there now, they should be in stock.

And if they're not in stock,

I'm sure you'll be able to order it.

But it'll probably ship within

well, well, well, well, well, well in advance of Christmas.

So

we have heard the cries for more physical media, and we are going to.

You're going to answer it.

You're going to old school.

And we go to what, merchtable.com or tellhemstevedave.com?

If you go to tellhamstevedave.com and you click on the link to merchtable, it'll take you there.

Or just type in Google, tell them Steve Dave, merchtable.

There's also a link there.

Did any white trash get into fights over them, do you know, on Black Friday?

Because that I would like to see.

Somebody with like eight copies versus.

Does that make you happy to see physical media still sought after?

Are you

sure that it was VHS?

I think it's coming back, though.

I think that people

want to own and hold things.

Especially this one, because it has beautiful artwork by Harris.

It's well designed.

There's so much thought into it that the disc

is

the poker table.

It's shiny.

No, no, the disc has artwork in the poker table.

And it looks like the poker table we sit at.

I mean, so much thought and care was put into this.

I want to allow as many people as possible to order it.

This will be a one-time printing, so if you want it, go order it now.

Do you have something you want to say real quick?

No, I just thought Final Cast III, if we ever do it, should be a green disc like the felt

table.

That's a nice idea.

That's all I need to start thinking about Vinyl Cast 3,

even though we like to go five years between those.

I thought we had an idea.

Did we?

Did we?

No, not maybe an idea of the content, but the actual physical copy, though, green.

Green felt, yeah.

That's nice.

And then the repress will be the foam face white as per use.

All right.

And skulls are also available still?

Oh, yeah.

At the merchant site, get your skulls released if you

can find it in your pocketbook to buy a skull.

Boy, would we appreciate it?

This is the curse of the fucking skull.

Well, I don't know why you put

your back into it.

It's an evil object.

It's cursed.

I thought I could monetize it.

I thought there was nothing I couldn't monetize.

I was wrong.

It's not over yet.

Check out Merch Table for t-shirts picturing Hitler.

It's evil.

I thought I could monetize it.

Even if someone doesn't even know what Tom Steve Dave is, giving them a Prussian kissing skull?

Yeah, put this on your desk.

The office grab bag.

You give the person at the office that

you are going to be talked about amongst the office forever.

Is there a Joker's secret Santa?

Do you guys do that?

No, we just buy each other.

Cars.

Yeah, and everybody gets a car.

She's like,

it's the Joker's

crafty's like, seriously, I get a car?

Yeah, no.

No?

No.

Y'all buy anything for Crafty?

For Crafty?

Yes every day.

Have you seen the Crafts on a Bradley Joe?

I actually have.

He doesn't deserve anything.

No, it's fucking horrible.

I think

we can afford to...

Tell him, Steve, Dave, like, I know Declan's getting a skull this year for Christmas.

Yeah.

Jay Sarge is getting a skull this year for Christmas.

What you got to do, if I may, let's move these things.

You should definitely wrap up skulls for both your girls.

Maybe don't put them in those boxes.

Since they packed like a thousand of them at one point, that would be amazing.

All right.

I get,

I got it.

Okay.

You got a way to move some movement.

I got a way to move some skulls.

How many would you say we have left?

Too many?

Otherwise, we wouldn't be talking about it.

I'm

talking about

disastrous levels.

Well, all right.

Let's.

Catastrophic.

It could shut the podcast down.

I know it's more than this, but just for a number, let's say we have 100 left.

I know we have more than than that.

I'm just saying

100 at you home right now.

All right.

So

the question that I get asked constantly is: why do I wear a ring?

I get that all the fucking time.

People are always like, why do you wear a ring on your right hand?

Why do you wear a ring?

Why would anybody ask you that?

Why the fuck does anybody care what I wear?

Does that mean something in the real world?

Yeah.

It does.

What does it mean?

Well, I don't want to.

Okay.

I don't want to say.

It means something to you.

Yeah, well, you bought me the ring in Chicago.

Right.

No, I meant to, I mean, to the to society.

Does it having a ring

really mean something?

No, I don't think so.

No, you did.

You bought it on Navy beer in Chicago.

So I did.

Why?

We were strolling around with the picture.

The guys were pretending to be

2017.

Bro, if I liked Dick,

if I could stomach Dick,

I would marry him.

Oh, my God, I would marry him at all.

It would be pretty awesome.

Oh, it would be the best.

I'd be a battered man.

like it.

I can't even stomach.

Like, when I take a piss, I have to avert my eyes.

It's just gross look at a dick.

So.

You've been looking at the wrong dick.

Yeah, maybe you just need to look gaze into the eye.

This is the only one I've ever seen.

Maybe it doesn't look like it at all.

Yeah, maybe you just got.

Did you show the doctor?

I know you showed the hair ass.

Did you show the other side?

I didn't flip around.

No, I didn't.

Maybe there's something going on down there.

I stopped trying.

Yeah, that's entirely true.

Yeah, the rest of me is disfigured.

Why would I copy the whole perfect thing?

Did you know the elephant man?

The only thing that wasn't disfigured was his penis.

That's true.

Yeah, that is true.

All right.

Well, then I got that working for you.

Maybe normal.

I don't know.

All right, but wait, what's the secret here?

I know you're talking about a ring.

Okay, no, no.

Forget the secret, but just people always say, notice that I wear a ring like that.

I've never noticed it.

Really?

No.

Well, you're not a big fan of IJ, I guess.

So

maybe I just thought some anal fucking lunatic that's.

Oh, hold on.

Slow down.

Bread and butter.

We got to say that for you.

Anal lunatic shirt.

What's the

darting all over?

Jokes, jokes.

Jokes.

So let's say we had 100 left, right?

I'll take 10% of whatever the number is, right?

In this example, 10.

Okay.

I'll get 10 rings, right?

And I'll wear them on an an episode of IJ at the same time.

No, no, different episodes, different times.

And then we'll send them to merch table and we'll put them in random boxes

of the thing.

This way, if you order a skull, there's a 10% chance that you're going to get a screen-worn ring.

You must have been thinking.

How did you just think of this on the spot?

You had to be thinking about this.

This is just off the cuff.

Off the cuff, yeah.

What made you think of rings, though?

Well, first I thought hat, but I was like, I'm not going to fucking go through 10 hats.

I bought them a grocery ring.

How much are the rings valued at?

Well, it's not going to be the same ring, it'll be all ring.

Okay, you know, the TSD ring.

Do we have TSD rings?

I can get them made.

I got to get him a Zippo ring made.

Now it's more expensive.

I don't know.

Maybe there's a guy out there that's willing to donate 10 rings.

We'll give him a shout-out on the podcast.

Okay.

Well, 10 being the number that we came up in this example.

Well, okay, then we would need not used cup rings.

I don't want to ask the guy to make

500 rings, though.

No, okay.

So let's just do 10 rings.

We can move.

Yeah, fucking move 10 skulls.

Now we're in business.

So we need feet.

Yeah, we need 10 free rings.

No, it's like a prize.

But it's a prize in a box.

It's like a prize in a box.

It's a recorder jack type situation.

Yeah, yeah.

Will you dress like a sailor?

And in fact, after I wear the ring on the show, I'll write down what bit I wore it on and the date.

Little certificate of authentication.

Little handwritten note.

I wore this in this episode, in this bit.

Well, not the episode because I don't know what episode it goes into.

This is great.

It's convoluted, but great.

No, no, it's safe.

What do I win?

If I wore it in the bit at supermarket, all right, wore this in the supermarket bit.

Okay.

And then we put it in the box.

All right.

Random.

All right, so I don't know if the Zippo guy who made the Zippo ring, great guy.

I don't know if he's still listening or if anybody out there knows how to make some rings.

Well, I could just go buy 10 rings.

No.

I mean,

these are delivered by the ants, though.

Right, but it seems like that's going going to take months and months as opposed to this one, which we could have people ordering sculptures.

We got to stop on the way home.

Yeah, and get 10 rings and start wearing them when we started.

Are you going to get it from like Jared, or are we talking about

the subway?

No, no, Jared the Jeweler.

Are we going to go?

What are we talking about?

They'll be metal.

You're talking about Dollar General rings?

They'll be metal.

They're not going to be plastic.

They'll be metal.

It may leave a little green on your fingers when you take them off.

Does this mean whoever had this is like some sort of weird, like you're going to have like 10 brides sitting out there?

that

maybe they'll wear them on their ring finger?

Well, it's going to fit your finger, so it won't fit theirs.

Yeah, my middle finger, too, which is my fattest finger.

Yeah, boy.

Yeah.

Lots of girls know that.

So, anyway, you know what?

Just go fuck a buy, Blu-ray.

We'll get back to you on the rings.

And if you can, yeah, yeah.

Give back one of the skulls at the office party.

You'll be definitely be the hit of the party.

All right, so my like getting

the rings.

Definitely get the rings.

You'll be the hit of the party and looking for a new job in early 2018.

I have fun and school today.

I played snatches.

Stanley wasn't in, so I played with Fred instead.

And Stanley came in and he went to the office.

Not in trouble, but he'll be here tomorrow.

I decorated a game today.

I used some ribbon.

I drew it in my booth last week, got in a color in it.

With that pimple, boy, if I was a pencil, so I had a good game, got a plant in my robo.

La la la la.

la

I do this every day,

I do this every single day, I do this every day.

I don't do it in the same way, I do this every day,

I do this every single day.

I do this every day.

I don't do it in the same way.

I do this every day.

I do this every single day.

I do this every day.

I don't do it in the same way.

This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir, only at Smodcast.com.