#348: Time Commander in Chief

Tom Steve Dave presents a for Genford character with encounters in the sixth zone of

kind

with Brian Carn,

Michael Flanagan, and Brian Johnson.

This week's episode.

I'm Commander-in-Chief.

Hello, and welcome to Tell'em Steve.

Dave presents Overkill, where we talk about the supernatural, aliens, horror, one of our own, well, you may not even know this.

Just popped his horror cherry recently.

Cute?

Oh, yeah.

I didn't hear about this, huh?

How'd you pop your horror cherry?

You're always into horror.

Yeah, but I mean, I was in a horror movie.

Really?

Yeah, Hatchet, the fourth Hatchet movie.

There was three Hatchet movies.

There were three Hatchet movies.

I didn't know this Hatchet.

Hatchet's like an old school.

It's like a throwback to the 80s type horror

where it's this guy, this like deformed ghost creature named Victor Crowley.

He's like haunts the swamps in New Orleans.

And

he murders people with a hatchet and a belt sander.

Goes around like old school 80s running around killing people one after another, murder after murder, lots of blood.

You had to keep it under wraps, Q.

It was a top secret project.

It was a surprise.

Cameo?

No, it's more than a cameo.

It's an actual part.

Oh, really?

You're acting?

Yeah, like, oh, yeah.

I flew out there.

I shot for a week last year, and

we had to not mention it.

We had to sign like non-disclosures.

Are you like a victim?

I don't want to say.

Oh, okay.

But,

yeah, so we had the 10th.

That's why I was in L.A.

this week.

They had the 10th anniversary screening at the Arclight.

Hatchet's been there for 10 years.

What's up?

Hatchet's been there for 10 years.

Yeah, 10 years, 10 years.

And all the fans that showed up got surprised.

They didn't even know that Hatchet 4 exists.

And Adam Green came out, the director, and was like, not only are you not here for a 10th anniversary of Hatchet, but

you're going to first hear about and watch Hatchet 4 called Victor Crowley.

Wow.

Place went nuts, dude.

It was pretty awesome.

And then we watched the movie.

How in-depth was your acting?

Like, did you have to

emit an emote?

Yeah.

Yeah, there was a lot of there was emoting terror yeah anger comedy comedy oh wow when uh any any nudity no he does full frontal

which probably slices my balls off um no i would not have even would have maybe with like a like a body double no i mean it's you know it's maybe one of practical jokers goes off the air i'd be

oh yeah oh you're okay you were a little worried about the no no no no i just think that uh people type into practical joke as I don't want my penis coming up.

Well, I wouldn't assume that it'd be full frontal.

I thought that was a joke.

I meant like maybe just like, you know, like scrod them from behind.

Thank butt cheeks or something.

If it was called for.

Sure, I'd show it.

I don't know why it would be called for.

Yeah.

I mean, horror movies, a staple of horror movies is guys' naked asses,

especially from the eighth.

You know, you're full.

Maybe you're clowning around.

I would see horror movies where they're mooning their girlfriends, and all of a sudden they get a fucking knife through the neck.

Like a speared right in the ass.

God damn it.

Yeah, it was good.

It was fun.

It was really fun.

What makes you want to do more acting?

I mean, I don't have a drive to do it, but I was not upset.

I didn't watch myself and be like, ooh, that's embarrassing.

So I feel confident.

I mean,

what are we talking about here?

It's not like acting is hard.

I love people who are like, fucking like, you know what I mean?

Those people that go into like weird places to get into a role.

I'm like, I don't know.

I just said the lines.

Kind of worked out.

It was fine.

I heard for a project that was under reps, I heard from two different cast members about it.

Really?

Q spilled the beans and then Tiffany Shep has spilled the beans to me.

Yeah.

Hard time, these actors.

We'll be super mouths shut.

We'll be suing her.

Yeah, you're going to sue her?

Yeah, Tiffany's done.

Okay, cool.

It's over.

She's got like 900 horror movies under her belt.

Yeah, she's awesome.

She wasn't there, unfortunately.

I think she was shooting like another one.

But it was fun.

What about you?

What would you ever sh would you show anything in a horror movie?

Called for ass cheek?

I have like really pathetic buns, though.

They need some filling out if I was to show them.

And

when I eat get some tire sealing in there for just fake ass.

I've always hated

how

whenever I eat something, it'll go to your gut.

But I always wish it would go to my rear because it's so flat and and unappealing.

Wish it was a little bit more

junk in the trunk.

Yeah, it's kind of tough unless you get like the implants

to eat any kind of diet that's like, oh, this goes straight to your ass.

I know that there's people that that happens to.

I wish I was one of those people.

They're lucky.

They're like, seriously.

Well, you know, I mean, it's in now.

It is.

It's very in.

A little tiny waist and a giant ass.

Think of the ratings of comic book Mena Fault had a giant badunka badunk-a-dunk.

Yeah, like next season.

I wonder how it'd be received.

Well, first, the crew would receive it like, what the fuck?

But then, once on screen, yeah.

Yeah.

Like knocking shit off shelves and stuff.

He's like Twitter.

Every episode, that's it.

Knocking shit off shelves.

I'd watch, and I already watch.

Yeah, nobody wants to see this bony ass.

No, somebody does.

Your wife, right?

I don't even know if she likes

that viewpoint.

She's never been like, boy, you're fine.

On the backside?

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever gotten a compliment on the back side.

Yeah, but then you turn around and that's when you're knocking shit off shelves, right, son?

Well,

how would she ever like be?

I can't think of

an instance where I would be showing the backside, though.

Maybe she set up a toilet can.

Should that be that?

It's like, I love them buns.

That would be unexpected.

I don't, yeah,

I don't think there's many opportunities where I'm presenting my backside.

You don't walk around bottomless.

No, no, no, no.

Have you gotten reactions to the

people have gotten there, the mini skull, right?

Yeah, the skulls have been shipping, and

I don't know if I've seen any reactions yet.

I'm waiting for

the flood of

accolades.

Praise

someone wrote me an email.

I'll check Twitter right now to see if anyone's praising them.

That said, it's unusual that we are making

copies of a skull and sending it out.

They're worried that we're cursing the world.

Like each skull,

like we've been possessed, was the theory.

And we're like, the skull is.

Oh, we're possessing it?

The skull has

forced us to make mini versions of itself and ship it all over the world as some sort of hostile.

Yeah, he's forced us to charge $24.99 for

a skull.

It's free with the skull.

The devil made us do it.

But I mean, I would have thought he'd be angry, not want us to do it.

I thought we'd be risking the ire of the skull to do it.

I think what they're saying is we're basically allowing the skull to take over the world.

I mean,

taking over the world is a bit, I think, is a bit extreme in there.

I mean,

you don't do that so much.

How much do you think of the population of the world even knows the existence of this podcast?

Half.

It's now Jesus' face, Santa Claus's face, Michael Jackson's face, and

end up catching him.

Three faces

are the most recognized faces on the face of the earth now.

There's a reaction, kind of.

What do you got?

People are sending photos in, holding the skull.

I'm hoping I've heard some wishes have come true.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Making wishes come true.

There you go.

For money.

The old Prussian kissing dubbings gone.

Yeah, okay, people are reacting.

Here's Carrie Beth holding hers up.

Oh, yeah.

Put it on, what is it again?

God damn it.

He just told me the Instagram thing.

Yeah, I'll pop it.

There's like a hashtag you can put.

I'll figure it out later.

Yeah, but if you haven't ordered,

we are now restocked.

By the time you read this, we should be restocked with combo shirts if you're getting a combo and a skull.

We definitely have skulls in stock.

Tell himstevedave.com.

That's it.

Go, man.

Or merch table.

Tell him Steve Dave, wherever you want.

Q.

Yeah, I need to check and see how patriotic you are.

How many statues did you knock down this week?

Any?

None.

None?

No.

What are we going to do about this guy?

Well, you guys have been knocking down statues?

Yeah.

I pushed over a swamp thing statue in the store.

With your ass?

Yeah.

Whoopsie.

I was just reading when I was checking for this other stuff.

Chelsea Clinton says, the Ukraine has finally removed all 1,320 Lenin statues.

Our turn.

Is there a Lenin statue?

God.

You're not.

Last week we were on the side of the people removing the statues.

I don't want to hear about fucking statues anymore.

I know.

Enough.

It's silly, but.

Enough already with the statues.

For Christ's sakes, it's the big thing, dude.

What's going to be the next big thing next week when people don't give a fuck about statues anymore?

If only you could predict it, right?

Yeah.

They'll find something.

Yeah, they took the, you saw the ESPN guy who happened to have the situation.

You didn't see this?

I didn't see anything.

Phew, you got...

I don't look at the news anymore.

I thought you were a part of the ACLU, man.

I thought you would be on top of this.

I just don't either.

Knocking shit down.

I let them knock over the statues for me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Get you busy.

I've got time to knock down a statue.

Well, I don't think.

I will say this.

I have never walked by a statue and known what the fuck it was.

Or cared, right?

Or cared.

So I could have been walking past any statue and never noticed.

I'm curious of the mindset of people who

know

and care.

Yeah, statues don't hold that much appeal.

No, I don't stop and look at them.

I'm never like, what is this?

Who is this person?

So when ESPN, this is a little bit of an older story, like a couple days ago, when ESPN Charlotte's North Carolina production team consulted with Robert Lee,

that's his real name, the play-by-play voice about calling the UNRCA Virginia football opener, he expressed some personal trepidation about the assignment.

And then offered the chance to call another tilt.

He opted for a different game because basically, you know, Robert Lee, somebody hears that name, how are they not going to get triggered?

Oh, is that why he didn't do it?

That's why he didn't do it because, you know, Charlotte and the whole Nazi thing

there

by the name Robert Lee.

Now, I heard it was a preemptive move

to keep him off the internet, like people making fun of him.

To make fun of him?

Yeah.

You know that's bullshit.

Well, that's what they said.

You know that's bullshit.

Oh, we don't want him to get made fun of.

Nonsense.

They're like, we don't want to take a bunch of heat from some fucking crazy idiot who's like, oh my God, they got the same name.

That is taking heat, though.

I mean, if you're trending for all the wrong reasons, that's taking heat, though.

And if you're trending,

if people are making fun of him and

because.

Okay, well, Robert Lee says the mere threat of being ridiculed on social media is not stopping me from calling the game.

Well, it did.

He said that wasn't it.

What was it?

I guess he's saying that it would have been insensitive at such a

time where tensions are high about the name Robert Lee.

Are you ready to see what Robert Lee looks like?

Yeah.

He looks like a total racist.

I mean, he's Asian?

Yeah, he's an Asian guy.

So what's going on?

Why would anybody care about this?

This is the world today, Q.

Yeah, that's not my world.

I want them to build a statue of this Robert Lee so I can knock it over.

Are they replacing the statues with anything, or we just have these pedestals sitting around now?

Statues ain't cheap, though.

I know.

No, they should at least melt them down.

Make some money.

On what?

But what's going on?

Like, we just have pedestals sitting everywhere?

I guess so.

Wait, what's on top of that building in Philadelphia?

I want to knock over the Rocky statue.

Hold on.

What's like, what is it?

City Hall?

What is that big building in Philly with the giant?

Yeah, with that big

gold thing up top.

Yeah.

Wasn't Ben Franklin from Philly?

Yeah.

I wonder if that's who's up there, though.

He's all right.

I don't know.

Did he own a slave?

I don't think so.

I could be wrong, though.

All right.

Let's see, we got

William Penn statue.

William Penn.

Oh, Penn State.

You know what?

Take down the fucking

Joe Pa or whatever statues.

That's okay.

You want to knock a statue of him down?

Go for it.

But I don't think anyone, like, even with the statues getting knocked down, I don't think anyone's like looking at that statue and being like, now I know more about history.

By the same token, if they knock it down, it's not like, awesome, racism's over.

But just like, who gives a fuck?

Take them down, be quiet about it, and fucking, let's all move on.

Yeah.

Like, nobody gave a fuck about the statues when there was an eclipse, which was the most boring fucking thing.

I was on a plane for that.

That was cool.

You saw it.

Did you look at it of a plane?

Did you have special glasses?

No, no, we just saw it.

Of course, he's rich.

What do you think?

No, we just saw the shadow.

We didn't actually see the.

It looked cool.

The sky did get very dark.

Yeah, I agree with Brian.

I thought it was kind of overhyped.

And when he has that much hyping, nothing can ever live up to it.

It's not like if the moon caught on fire, you'd be like, that's fucking amazing.

I saw people on the news crying, and I was just like.

Because they burned their eyes?

No, no, no, crying tears of joy because they said it was one of the most beautiful things they ever witnessed.

First off, nobody has a grip, huh?

No, No, no.

Everyone is fucking crazy.

It seems.

Like, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

It's like, it's a shadow, you stupid fuck.

No,

he said it was one of the most beautiful things he's ever saw, not the most beautiful thing.

Okay.

But he had tears in his eyes.

Well, he's a fucking idiot then.

If you're crying over a fucking shadow, the moon going in front of the sun, you're crying.

Well, you don't, it's.

You're unstable.

He didn't look unstable.

He just looked happy.

Yeah, the most unstable ones don't.

He's happy about it.

I don't see anything about William Penn owning slaves or anything like that, so I think he's safe.

I think he's safe.

But I mean, it's going to be money.

That's going to be the next thing.

They're going to want any slave owners off the currency.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And who do you put up there?

Who do you put on all the new currency?

Who do I put up?

Why do you have to have a face?

Why can't it just be like the number?

Like a turkey?

An animal?

Yeah.

Yeah, animals will say it.

Eagle.

Yeah, you can.

It depends.

Polar bear?

Obviously a neo-Nazi.

He's white.

Right.

Well, I mean, I'm not going to put a polar bear on.

Black bear.

No, I don't even think they put a bear on.

I think it'd be more like majestic and

like Q thinks says.

Didn't he just say a hummingbird?

No, he said an eagle.

No.

A turkey.

No, he said a turkey.

I said an eagle.

Oh, okay.

Well, turkey with like a fucking apple halfway coming out of his head.

No, I mean, that was Ben Franklin's first choice for the official bird of the United States.

A turkey?

Yeah.

Not majestic.

Really a dirty, angry bird, right?

I don't know.

I have these turkeys outside my house that I'm dealing with now, and they're pretty cool.

I've watched these chicks grow from this big to now they're almost full-grown turkeys.

I was going to say, I saw pictures of the bees.

Yeah, they roost in the tree outside my house.

It's pretty cool all summer long.

Every day at 7.05, like around, like between 7 and 7.10, they stroll up to my house and then launch themselves in the tree for the night, like clockwork all summer long.

For the last four months,

they can lift, they get enough lift to get in the tree, yeah.

Yeah, okay, so it's a myth that turkeys can't fly, they're not really, they can't soar, but they can get themselves

like a chicken kind of like an eagle, yeah, exactly.

That's why, I mean, if it, if a turkey could have soared, it probably would have had a better shot.

Yeah, they're like, Ben, get real, just fucking thing.

Like, why don't we put you on one?

Like, we'll put you on the $100 bill.

How does that sound?

He's like, hey, you know what?

Not bad.

Maybe they'll put a bunch of Northerners on?

Well?

Oh, people from the North.

Well, you got Abe Lincoln already.

You got Abe Lincoln.

I mean, look, now you got to mix it up.

There's got to be women.

They probably put Frederick Douglass on there.

You know what I mean?

Like, you got to diversify.

You've got to put Harriet Tubman on or something.

Sure, I'll spend Harriet Tubman all day and night.

I think to be safe, though, they should stay away from people because if you dig deep enough on anybody, you're going to find something that somebody will be like, well, that person shouldn't be on it on

it.

Harriet Tubman at one point was like, crack-ass cracker.

Was giving somebody shit.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right.

You'd be all right with that.

I say put our most, like, our most beloved black comics on there.

I say you put Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, Dave Chappelle, Richard Pryor,

Bill Cosby.

Yeah, why not?

Well, hold on.

At one point, man, like, he was the guy.

I remember my parents having vinyl albums and and listening to that Cosby show.

Why don't we just put the wealthiest people in the world on the money, like Bill Gates?

Like Warren Buffett.

Everybody loves the super rich, right?

But they should have their faces should be.

They have the most of the money.

They should have their faces on it then.

Yeah, I mean, actually, then by that logic, then we should have one or two cartel leaders

on the money, because they probably have more money than most Americans.

They didn't gain it illegally.

It has to be all legally obtained obtained their fortune

too.

But you know, like for a dollar, let's say, like the, like, like, how many, how many denominations of money are there?

How many bills are there?

You got the one, the five, the twenty, the fifty, and the one hundred.

That's five.

So you got five, right?

So the top five richest men

or women

in America

should have their faces on the, on the, on the bills.

Well, pretty soon that's going to be Jeff Bezos, right, from Amazon?

He's got to be one of those.

Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, once you, once you

actually,

A billionaire.

They swap you out.

Yeah, you get knocked down.

So

this way we encourage those billionaires to keep trying to make money so they can keep their faces on the bills.

Okay,

this would be who would be on your money.

Walt, you got Bill Gates.

Yeah, he's got to be at the $81 billion.

He's the highest.

He's got to be the $100.

He's got to be the $100.

Okay, Jeff Bezos from Amazon, $67 billion.

That's insane.

That is insane.

$67 billion.

And he's still working.

Not only is he still working,

he has his people exploring every avenue from, can we take over grocery stores to can we go to space?

What are they doing?

To can we like build homeless shelters?

Like this dude is all over the map.

He's on the 50.

He's on the 50.

Warren Buffett at one point would have been

before Bezos stepped in, he would have been on the 50.

Now he's on the 20.

Okay.

He's on the 10.

Zuckerberg.

Who's that?

Facebook guy.

The Facebook guy, yeah.

Okay.

And then

we got coming up on the dollar bill.

You got Larry Ellison from Oracle, which is like

it's not a very sexy company.

It's like a computer company.

They've been around for a long time.

Hey, it doesn't matter how you got there.

If

you're in that upper stratosphere,

then we rethink it.

We re-look at the list every five years.

Right.

I like it because this gives these billionaires an incentive to keep making it.

Because they want to be on there, yeah.

Yeah.

You know, their egos are huge.

Maybe not Bill Gates, but

he's donating.

Oh, you know, you know whose ego I bet you isn't big?

Is Warren Buffett?

That dude is like so.

Doesn't he drive like a Prius and everything?

And he lives in this shitty little house in Omaha where like he's lived for like 50 years.

He's hiring the money.

That's it.

That's the point.

Just having it, knowing you got it.

Yeah, but it does nothing.

It's an illness, I think, right?

I don't know if it's an illness, but I mean, it doesn't make sense to me.

Like, is the point just the bank account?

Like, why would you want to not live in the money, spend the money, make more money?

At this point, if you have fucking $67 billion,

are you really afraid that, like, even if all your money disappeared overnight, you wouldn't be able to make more?

Like, your credentials are pretty fucking good.

Right.

Yeah, I mean,

do some cons twice a month.

Sign shit.

And everybody participates in the giving pledge, which is, well, not pezos.

It's a campaign to encourage wealthy people to contribute a majority of their wealth to philanthropic

causes.

158 signers so far.

How do you think that would go over with the public if it was announced that we're going to put billionaires on the money?

I don't think it would go over well.

Really?

Nope.

Why not?

They can't even take a fucking dudes.

Yeah.

I understand, but like, but it does make perfect sense, though.

To me, it does, because we're a capitalist.

I happen to like capitalism.

I know that's a fucking dirty word nowadays.

Everybody's like.

I wish there was a statue of you that I could push over.

Yeah.

What am I going to say?

Can we just paint him gray and

kick the shit out of him?

Like one of those guys on the street corner in New York.

Like a kazoo in my door.

Get him.

I know.

Because I like capitalism.

What are you going to do?

I mean, what are you going to do?

I like the system.

I think it works.

It does.

So those people, so if he made 67 billion, that means he's paid 67 billion in taxes.

No, because it's corporate.

So

these guys, you know how you got 67 billion?

You got to have those like connections to somebody.

Loopholes, connections.

Grease wheels.

Yeah.

You ever grease a wheel?

I've never greased a wheel.

A palm?

Not in any real way, no.

I've greased my own palm so many times.

Have that made you a millionaire?

Yeah, and it doesn't.

It doesn't.

Turns out it doesn't.

But yeah, Jeff Bezos, born in 64, only three years.

What makes someone a Jeff Bezos verse, say, Brian Johnson?

What is with this guy?

Probably you would have to study each of your brains after you both pass on.

Put each one in a pan and look at the,

you know, just give it the once over and see.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See, see all the, like, the

dull areas.

Right.

they're like not on bezos but uh yeah yeah i didn't i didn't think you were talking about bezos

they're like just it like says bezos and then it just says limited under

what's his name jeff bezos

yeah

you know i think they make most of their money from uh like the cloud shit like they were early adopters of all that cloud stuff so like they rent out their servers to other people and shit like iTunes cloud kind of like that yeah but they'll like rent out their.

In fact, I think our server is hosted by Amazon.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's how they make a bunch of money, man.

Got to know about computers.

I don't know shit about computers.

I remember.

Because we didn't grow up in fucking Silicon Valley and shit.

Yeah, but that's the thing about computers is like your knowledge gets fucking obsolete so fast.

You got to keep running.

Like if you stop to take a day off, fuck it, forget about it.

You're not a billionaire anymore.

You might as well be running dust.

Well,

you're a dinosaur.

Yeah.

I mean, that's how.

I took a day off from my TRS-80.

My radio shack shit.

And, you know, I mean,

I think we know somebody that that happened to.

That world passed them by.

Ming Chen?

No, I'm not saying names.

He doesn't work in the computer industry anymore.

He's a

multinational star.

Yeah.

He's a TV personality, Ming Chen.

Computers are tough, though.

I mean, there's so much to know.

It's mind-boggling.

Blue Apron, the number one fresh ingredient recipe delivery service in the country.

Their mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone, and they achieve it by supporting sustainable food systems.

They have established partnerships with over 150 local farms, fisheries, ranchers, and as a result, seafood is sourced sustainably.

Beef, chicken, and pork come from responsibly raised animals.

I feel like if you raise an animal responsibly, it gives it more of a personality and you don't really want to.

Like these people who are farmers and they like, they grow the fucking pig and then they're like, all right, let's fucking

now let's slaughter it.

I don't know.

Remember that marketing campaign, Pork, the Other White Meat?

Yeah.

Did they drop that?

Is that still a thing?

Yeah, it's still called the Other White Meat.

Is it?

Yeah, I don't know.

That was a great marketing campaign.

It made me try pork again.

I realized it sucked, but

I did try it again.

Yeah, you know what?

I haven't had pork chops in decades, probably, because when my mother made them, they always sucked.

They were dry and nasty.

But I wonder if a good pork chopped

firehouse.

We used to have pork chops.

The guys would make this fucking unbelievable.

It was great.

And I didn't like pork until I got into the firehouse.

And then I went pork crazy.

And now I don't eat it anymore.

Okay.

It's just, I don't know.

I never order it on the menu and I don't.

Because Because it won't be as good as a firehouse.

Yeah, they made it really good.

Is there any part of the pork that's not white meat?

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

They said, I've read somewhere that eating pig is the closest thing you can get to eating a human without eating human.

Like the meat's the same.

Wow.

The skin.

If a person tasted like bacon, I would definitely eat one.

I think they do.

I think that's the thing.

Really?

Like, humans and pigs are very similar.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, bacon can't be considered white meat.

I don't know.

It's all fat and it's like fat and then red.

Yeah.

There's the answer.

Maybe it's just certain parts.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say.

You don't even have to worry about this shit with Blue Apron because they're going to fucking take care of it for you.

No, they're not going to send you anything but white meat.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're not sending anything dark or grisly or nasty or whatever.

No.

You want to build strong family bonds?

Everything else is failing you?

Get some blue apron, man, because it shows research shows that blue apron families cook nearly three times more often.

Those who spend a lot of restaurants, Walt, I'm looking at you,

you can spend under $10 a person for a delicious meal.

Here you go, Kia.

Let's see if you would like any of this.

Walt, I know you wouldn't.

Basil pesto chicken with a summer vegetable panzanella.

Yummy.

Sauteed shrimp and green beans.

Yummy.

Whole grain pasta and summer vegetables.

Yummy.

Miso horny butter salmon and lomain noodles.

meatball pizza.

Shit, son.

You're going to be eating good.

It's affordable.

Less than $10 a person.

Huge variety of new recipes each week.

Flexible.

Customize your recipes based on your preferences.

It's easy.

Each meal comes with step-by-step.

So even if you can't cook, there you go.

And it's guaranteed every ingredient in your delivery arrives

ready to cook, or they'll make it right.

What's the code?

The call to action.

Check out this week's menu and get your three meals free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com/slash T-E-S-D.

You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue Apron, so don't wait.

That's blueapron.com/slash T-E-S-D.

Blue Apron, a better way to cook.

All right.

Do you believe computers were this is overkill?

It doesn't sound like it, but do you believe you believe all computers, there was no

foreign tech

that

helped get us to where we're at?

Alien stuff.

He's talking aliens built computers.

Yeah, I could believe that.

You believe that some backwards, what's it called, backwards when they backwards?

Oh, reverse engineering.

Reverse engineering.

No, no, I don't believe.

I believe humans could get where we're at.

Would that help?

Some of the things that's pretty simple.

It's crazy.

There's like

the boy's so fucking dismissive of like, like what you're what you think humans can do it without the help of aliens you fucking idiot

Yeah, but you could see the progress you could track it Yeah, yeah, but like there's no great leaps with some I was watching what I was watching a 1985 game show and they were given and they were giving away this home computer

and then you look at what they were giving away and then I look at the like what's in my kind of story behind you watching a 1985 game show that's fucking that's Monday

every day and then Colombo on Sunday

but what they were giving away

just in 1985, and

you fast forward to when the iPhone was introduced,

I don't believe that man could just do that leap on his own.

He wouldn't have needed help from aliens.

I believe that there's all sorts of proof that aliens

were.

What are you laughing at?

All sorts of proof.

Yeah, there's a new proof.

There's this new mural

where there's an Indian

holding, it was painted in the 1800s, and he's snapping a photo with his iPhone of

a prisoner in the photo.

This news just broke.

What do I look up for this?

Indian mural?

Yeah, mural time travel mural.

Just came down the pike.

I mean, this is absolute.

If you believe the mural is true, and I believe the mural to be true, and where it's dated,

you cannot deny what this Indian is holding in his hand.

And he's taking a photo.

It's an iPhone.

Wait, can we not deny it like the guy at the Tyson fight, which was immediately discounted?

By who?

By who?

Is it discounted?

By listeners?

So now all of a sudden it's not a matter of time.

That sent pictures of the fucking thing that the guy was holding.

It was like some kind of palm pilot thing.

Yeah, I got to hand it to him.

It looks like an iPhone.

Okay, what's the name of that mural?

So the listeners maybe can look it up while we're talking.

But

is it.

Oh, yeah, this seems real.

What do do you mean it just seems real?

Who painted the mural?

Who painted the mural?

And who photoshopped the iPhone in so that somebody like you would believe this?

What are you talking about?

Why would you assume

that it's photoshopped?

It would be so easy to discuss.

Because it's a fucking iPhone in a mural with an Indian.

It would be so easily dismissed, though.

So 70 years ago, a mural by an Italian artist appears to show the familiar gadget in the hands of a Native American.

That is why you're not Begos.

Bezos.

The way you just fucking looked at that.

Why people believe in ghosts and shit?

No, because

you don't have the.

What don't I have?

You don't have

that window into your brain that allows you to think outside the box.

Wait, is dyslexia coming up?

That's the case.

No, it's like you're like, you don't even give it, you don't even do any investigation.

You look at a picture, like, fucking bullshit.

Move on.

I do, because I have to do it.

You don't want to look at it here.

Like, Photoshop, move on.

Somebody painted an iPhone into a mural, and this is all sorts of proof of what?

And it was only 70 years ago, which really is.

Well, there's that.

Oh, so

it wasn't that long ago.

Did we even have phones 70 years ago?

70.

Did we have phones 70 years ago?

Did we have phones 70 years ago?

Did we have phones in the late 50s?

Yeah, we did.

We did.

I'm not good at the man.

I'm just saying, but

I bet you they were shitty phones.

Well, was it the phones where you had to help call Clara up and be like, Claire, I'd like to get a phone line down to the deli, and she had to fucking stick a pin in a board and then stick a pin in your little hole and connect you to the deli?

Was it that was that kind of phone service?

You mean the kind of phone that like you called someone and

prior to just dialing someone?

Yeah, but it's still a fucking phone.

There's still somebody dialing you and talking through a wire, which is fucking amazing.

Really, when you think about it, it's pretty fucked up.

Okay, so now you go from that

to this, when I'm holding an iPhone for those who can't see,

I don't see how you're so easily you just be like, oh,

don't even question for a second, like,

this doesn't make sense that we can't.

Because it's not like they're like, hey, Clara, you're fired.

We just fucking discovered an iPhone.

There's an evolution

from that shitty phone to, you know, the one where you've got to.

Then how come we can't count that mural as a part of the timeline now?

A timeline to show like that there's more than meets the eye.

Then, where?

Okay, so this guy painted a mural with a dude holding an iPhone.

Where was that?

Like, how did he know about it, this painter?

Like, how did he know it existed?

Did he have one?

And why did he have it?

Wait a minute.

That was only painted seven years ago?

1937.

Did that massacre happen in the 30s?

Well, it's not really a massacre so much.

What did he call a 911?

I mean, people are saying that it's a mirror because back in the day, these exchanges, mirrors were common gifts given to Native Americans.

Did that battle take place in the 30s that

he's depicting?

No, but...

When did that battle take place?

Is it the battle?

There's no battle going on.

They're trading.

Oh, they're trading.

Oh, I thought that was a massacre.

They're trading iPhones for beads.

See, that guy looks tied up to me.

What are you talking about?

That guy's a prisoner.

That doesn't mean it's a battle.

He could just be a slave.

It doesn't look like they're trading anything.

Oh, he's getting traded.

He's trading a guy.

He's trading a slave

for an iPhone?

They fucking cool, man.

But also, it's like none of the networks existed.

There's nothing...

that would uh well you couldn't charge it how about this how about the fact that there's a fucking witch in the corner on a broomstick She's just hanging out.

Oh, yeah.

What does that say?

That's probably just a metaphor for something else.

But wait a minute.

How come you're not leaving on that?

The witchery of iPhones in 1937.

A devil's play thing.

I mean, a witch.

I mean, we've known witches have been part of our culture for thousands of years.

I mean, that's pretty fucking Wizard of Oz-ish.

Although, when did the Wizard of Oz come out?

Late 30s, right?

39, maybe?

You think that it's a Wizard of Oz connection?

No, I don't think it's a Wizard of Oz connection.

Any flying monkeys in that mural?

No.

Yeah, so I don't think that we go from Clara immediately to the iPhone.

1939

Wizard of Oz.

I don't think we go immediately to it.

I think there is.

I think that

once

these very...

Look, I'm not taking anything away from the people who are making billions off of this technology.

They had to be smart enough to reverse engineer it.

They had to be smart enough to

make it work.

And

I'm sure that there was a gigantic period of trial and error to figure out all this technology.

So you have to give them all their props.

I'm not saying

the human race doesn't deserve

an amazing pat on the back, but I don't don't think they got there, though, completely on their own, though.

Without aliens.

Yeah, without alien technology, I don't think it's

I think it's possible.

I'll say that much.

So you're saying that this portrait was painted and it's taken this long to reverse engineer it.

And in the meantime, I think it was painted and just nobody ever noticed it.

I don't think it's a very well-known painting.

I think somebody was probably looking at it and music.

Everybody was totally focused on the witch.

It's in a post office in Springfield.

Is it?

Yeah.

Nobody's paying attention this thing.

Yeah, I'm sure.

It looks like a statue.

Knock it down.

You walk by it every day.

You walk by it for decades and didn't notice it.

And then all of a sudden, when you're like, because now everybody's holding,

you wouldn't have noticed it for that long because nobody would have known what the Indian was even holding.

It's only after our culture is so

used to seeing every person they see do this.

hold a phone in that manner that you're like, holy shit.

When they see a guy dressed as a pilgrim, it doesn't blow them away.

They're like, oh, whatever, iPhone.

Or you're saying the opposite.

No, I'm saying it probably wasn't noticed for so long, even though it hung in that post office for decades, nobody would have really

until our culture was

so

immersed

in the

iPhones that it would take decades to realize what that Indian was holding.

That sounds reasonable.

Well,

you couldn't look at it.

You could look at it.

Let's say when it was painted, you could look at it.

You wouldn't know what he was holding.

Yeah, you think he was holding a mirror, I guess.

Right.

Right.

Or a block of wood or a deck of cards or any number of things that aren't a fucking iPhone that wasn't invented until the 2000s.

But

you would need to fast forward to a time

in history where

you would be.

Or somebody knows what it is.

Yeah, exactly.

Now you're thinking.

All right.

I'm outside the box with you.

A little bit.

No.

It's amazing.

Me and Bezos, and you.

I wonder what model of iPhone it is.

It's probably a seven.

Oh, no.

It's probably like a 12, man.

Yeah, I'd be disappointed if it was a seven.

The Zip Recruiter.

Are you hiring?

Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates?

If you did, then you wouldn't need me to tell you that it's a Zip Recruiter.

Well, talk about the challenge of finding great talent or the importance of finding great talent to a successful business.

I believe talent is everything, no matter what the business is.

It could be delivering newspapers.

If you don't have a talented guy delivering them, you're not going to be successful.

This is from a Fortune 500 company all the way down to like

a newsstand.

You need talented people or you're going to fail.

So are you saying modern media newspapers are failing because

their paper boys are not top-notch?

The

talent has to be there.

If the talent's not there, I believe if you have talented people, you can turn any business into a successful one.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a firm believer in that.

And if you want the best or you want talented people, go to ZipRecruiter.

What's the code?

It's

ziprecruiter.com slash T-E-S-D.

They don't depend on candidates finding you.

It finds them.

80% of employers who post a job on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within one day.

Walt, I saw you juggling emails and calls when you were in your office.

It seemed like you hated it.

You don't have to do that.

Simply screen, rate, and manage candidates all in one place with the ZipRecruiter is easy-to-use dashboard.

So find out today why ZipRecruiter has been used by businesses of all sizes to find the most qualified candidates.

I think that's what people are.

So, like, oh, my business is too small.

I don't need a ZipRecruiter.

That's why you'll never be big.

You're never going to be Bezos, you fucking idiot, because you're not using ZipRecruiter.

You don't have to get aggressive.

I'm sorry, I get very passionate about Zip Recruiter.

I'm just just saying, don't think you're too small for ZipRecruiter.

Give it a shot.

It's free, right?

It's free, yeah.

Just give it a shot.

If you ain't happy with it, then you know I got to stay with it.

Yeah, I know.

What's the code?

ZipRecruiter.com slash T-E-S-D.

One more time to try it for free.

Go to ziprecruiter.com/slash T-E-D.

It could be a two-person operation.

Right.

It still could help with having

just staring at each other the whole day being like, damn, he's talented.

ZipRecruiter.com slash T-E-S-D.

T-E-S-D.

And then since we're talking about this, can we lead right into my overkill?

Because it's timely

and it's my favorite subject.

It's time travel.

Sure.

Somebody's clicking.

Oh, it could be this.

No, I can't tell because you both moved them at the same time.

You're okay.

Clicking, what do you mean?

Because it's looking for a signal?

No, it's just like sometimes it buzzes if it gets too close to the.

You ready?

Close to the thing, yeah.

If I throw out the name

John Titer, does anybody recognize the name?

It's a time traveler guy, right?

Yeah.

You guys are both.

Oh, we did Nova Kill on it.

Okay, I wanted to know if I didn't know if that was, I didn't know if I had done that yet or if I had done that in my future.

No, he did.

We did it.

Didn't he

troll time or something like that?

I wasn't sure if I was remembering something that

hasn't happened yet or it did happen.

Okay, so his nose just starts bleeding.

He's fucking like.

This is mind-blowing.

But you remember, he's a very,

I don't know if he's very famous, but he's kind of

in the time travel.

John Titer?

I mean, Ming Chen is more famous, I think.

I don't know if he's that well known

to the real world.

Probably.

But in the circles of

time travel junkies, he's a legend.

Right.

Do you want a refresher on him?

Yeah, I think a brief refresher for all the new audience members who are in here.

Okay.

During the initial investigation.

Many people were convinced that a man called John Titor, that's T-I-T-O-R,

time-traveled from the year 2036 to 2000 to warn the world of an impending nuclear war at the hands of

the Middle East.

What does it really say?

He paused before you said Middle East.

It says ISIS in this article, but I don't think he actually said the words ISIS.

Right.

Appearing only in online forums 16 years ago, nobody knew the identity of the man who vanished without a trace.

But there's a new conspiracy and a new theory about

John Titer.

All right.

There are some people who are certain that the man who called himself John Titer is none other than

President-elect Donald Trump.

Whoa.

But

so John Titer is Donald Trump.

He predicted this nuclear war.

And

what year is the war supposed to happen?

2036.

Well, if it's Donald Trump, I mean, he'll certainly be out of office by then, right?

Yeah, but he can, but the theory is he's doing things now

that the butterfly effect

that will stop a nuclear war or a nuclear bomb going off detonated by

a Middle Eastern terrorist group.

I wonder if Titer means like the

Koreans,

those fucking wacky Koreans who are with their missiles and their threats and their

I don't know, man.

If I was in California, I'd be worried.

California, yeah, and anywhere like California, Oregon, Seattle.

Whole West Coast is in that madman's eye

eye line.

I don't know.

I'd be worried.

Well, there's more to the theory than just than just me just saying it.

I mean, there is some things to back up

what a lot of people are now thinking is a possible answer to how

that

improbable

victory by Trump in the last election was you know, it seemed like he knew what to say and what to do, and he defied odds, and everything he said would, you know,

everyone assumed, well, that's the end of Trump.

So everybody who hates Trump should realize that he's here to save us all?

This is a theory

by some conspiracy theories, theorists.

That Trump's the good guy, time traveling, good guy.

Well, let me tell you.

What about the fact that he's been living in the public eye his entire life?

Yeah, a fortune built upon being able to time travel.

no what i'm saying is like titer came from the future here but he's just been donald trump's been with us the whole time right amassing a fortune uh i think q's saying how the fuck is he traveling through time when yeah we're an age in the public eye like he's not

there's no gaps

if you want to hear a little bit more about him then we can maybe that'll answer your your question as well yeah because he's in his 70s now yeah so there's no way he's living another

he's not going to live to 2036.

He doesn't need to.

That's just what he's doing.

And what he does now may, he knows the game plan, supposedly, if you believe this conspiracy.

He knows what needs to be done in 2017

to stop a nuclear bomb going off in 2013.

But I'm saying, if we've seen Donald Trump grow from a child to where he is now, when was he in the future?

I don't think there are any pictures of Donald Trump as a child.

No?

No, that's what somebody was saying.

That there's no, there's that.

Does this somebody get him?

No, but there was like when you were doing, when they were doing the, um, you know, the, they were showing pictures, it was weird.

There were no pictures of him as a child.

It was only pictures of him as a teenager.

Okay.

All right.

Well, that takes care of that.

The legend teller suggests that Donald's uncle John,

who was a very well-known scientist and inventor, oversaw the examination of famous engineer Nikola Tesla's notes after his death?

Serbian-born Tesla moved to the U.S.

in 1891 and was famed for his reputation as a mad scientist.

Tesla was also well known in his later years for exploring theoretical subjects and even made very early pronouncements into the possibility of wireless connectivity.

Tesla said that?

Yeah.

Tesla, I believe.

If you showed me a picture of Tesla with a fucking iPhone, I'd be like, I totally believe it.

Yeah.

Why?

Because he was fucking unbelievably intelligent and creative and like invented all sorts of fucking shit.

But you won't believe it.

Only to be taken down by fucking

Keel Edison and Westinghouse.

I know.

But how do we know the guy at the Tyson fight wasn't also

Nikolai Tesla fucking intelligence?

Because he's at a Mike Tyson fight.

That's why.

That's good.

Okay, you want to hear any more, or are you just going to fucking smack wise?

No, no, no.

I'm afraid future Walt won't be friends with us if we give him too much shit.

Tesla was also known in his later years for exploring theoretical subjects.

Oh, wait, I already said that, wireless connectivity.

He apparently looked into the fabric, into the fantastic theories such as free energy, anti-gravity, invisibility, and most importantly, time travel.

Because now you're giving a lot of props to Tesla just before.

Love Tesla.

Okay, so now as I start to say some things that go against your

kind of

not outside the box mind, does that give you, make you go like, well, maybe Tesla was not, maybe he was a little cuckoo at the end or no?

No, if I'm stepping outside outside the box, it's hand in hand with Tesla.

He's the only guy to hold your hand and take it out of the way.

He's jerk off the painted a mural with fucking witches and Indians and shit.

In a post office in the middle of no.

Tesla, yeah.

He definitely seemed crazy.

He seemed off.

After Tesla died in 1943, the National Defense Research Committee called on MIT professor John Trump,

Donald Trump's grandfather,

to look into his work in case there was any military application.

John Trump spent three days by himself looking into the notes before concluding there was nothing of any significance.

His report read: Tesla's thoughts and efforts during at least the past 15 years were primarily of a speculative, philosophical, and somewhat promotional character.

Conspiracy theorists claim Trump found theoretical designs for a time-traveling machine.

John G.

Trump spent a lot of time with his nephew, Donald, before he died in 1985.

That's a fact.

In interviews, Donald.

So emphatic.

In interviews, Donald Trump regularly brought up his Uncle John in references, his warning over nuclear weapons and the damage they may cause.

During one such interview, he cryptically said, My uncle used to tell me about nuclear before nuclear was nuclear.

He told the Boston Globe, What does that mean?

I don't know.

He would tell me things.

He's from the future.

There are things that are happening that could be potentially so bad for the world in terms of weaponry.

Trump told the Times that his uncle would tell me many years ago about the power of weapons.

Someday that the destructive force of these weapons will be so massive that it's going to be a very, very scary world.

So, this is what his uncle told him when?

1985.

Oh, you mean after everyone knew it?

Fuck.

What the fuck?

Guess what, young Donald?

I mean, I know you're 55 years old already.

You ever heard of them, nukes?

Yeah, I mean, what does that even mean?

Well, I'm not done.

Because what is strange about his warnings is that by the time Donald Trump was born in 1946, the U.S.

already owned and used nuclear weapons.

Trump also spoke about his dislike of nuclear weapons, saying, I hate nuclear more than any.

My uncle was a professor, was at MIT, and used to tell me about nuclear.

Can I be honest with you?

It's going to happen anyway.

It's going to happen anyway.

It's only a question of time.

Where is he saying this?

In an interview in 1985.

Like, was he running a marathon when he said it?

Like, the sentences aren't even complete.

That's so weird.

Despite all John Trump's scientific contributions, including methods for curing.

Oh, wait a minute.

This might be a joke.

Case closed on Oliver Kill.

Shit.

Well, you know what really fucked up, though, is that on the night

he won the

Republican nominee,

a lightning bolt struck Trump Tower, and they theorized that he was time traveling at that point.

Wow.

So he got there just in time to receive the nomination?

Well, I don't know.

If you're going to go by the conspiracy theories, I think that he is just going back and forth into time, probably into the future, most likely, figuring out what to do.

And that's why it defies logic, all the things he's been doing, right?

Have you seen any person say the things or do the things he's doing and still attain this level of success?

No.

President of the United States, pretty successful.

I'd say so, yeah.

So, I mean, I think that that's why there's some out there who theorize that, like, there's

no way to explain this man's methods.

I think the explanation is people were fucking sick and tired of shit that, like, you know, like politicians and stuff, and they were willing to roll the dice on a guy who is saying crazy shit, but kind of crazy shit they want to hear.

You know, because there's this whole cross-section of middle America and

middle-class people that are like, fuck it, fuck fuck the rich, I'm tired of paying for the poor, whatever.

So that kind of rhetoric appeals to them, you know, all that stuff.

I mean, but still, man, it still is crazy, though, that you could be caught on camera saying some of the things he said, grabbing pussies and shit, and still get elected president of the Institute Club.

Not if you're running against Hillary Clinton.

Yeah.

Did you hear any of her audiobook?

No.

Oh, dude, it's fucking crazy.

No, she just put it out?

I don't think it's out yet, but they had clips from it.

I played it for for a while or you actually you heard it I heard it

she's reading it she's reading it holy shit let me see if I can find it like a robot

really yeah it sounds really bizarre her cadence and her delivery is

it's like truly bizarre like she's trying out a new voice box or something it's really it's as if she's never read it out loud in her entire life oh wow I can't wait to hear this Let's see.

Does she address the election?

Is that what?

Yeah, a lot of it's about the election.

I don't want to read it.

Yeah, I mean, there it is.

Oh, God.

I don't know if you want to read it.

I think to hear it

would be more

a better experience.

But did she unload?

Yeah.

She says something.

Yeah, she says some stuff about saying some things about how uncomfortable she was on the stage with Trump during some of those debates.

Hillary Clinton already is working on

the state.

Because

he invaded her space on the stage.

Yeah.

Hasn't her husband invaded God knows how many women's spaces?

When, but how?

During the debate, she said that he was like behind her and making faces at her and all kinds of weird stuff.

Probably to throw her off her game, I assume.

It seemed he did.

Did people address that before now?

Yeah, there was definitely some pundits who were like, what a strange and bizarre

manner of him following her around the stage and being right on top of her at times.

Well, it worked.

This is from YouTube.

Leaked audio of Hillary Clinton's audio.

Audio book from Hillary Clinton.

It had been 16 years since Bill's last Mexican happy ending.

After Bill finished, President of the United States.

Oh, fucking bullshit.

God damn it.

That's not the right one.

I'm taking it on Overkill today a lot.

It happens.

That wasn't the real one.

Even the best people who dabble in

radio shows about the paranormal, they have to deal with getting taken sometimes.

When you put out as much content as we do, you're not going to hit 100%.

You're just not.

That's right.

Well, I also googled Hillary Clinton audiobook clips inside the box.

Let's see.

Hillary Clinton says her skin crawled as Donald Trump hovered and paced behind her.

That's what she wrote.

That's what she wrote in her new book called What Happened the Former.

And Donald Trump was looming behind me.

Two days before, the world heard him brag about groping women.

Now we were on a small stage, and no matter where I walked, he followed me closely, staring at me, making faces.

It was incredibly uncomfortable.

He was literally breathing down my neck.

My skin crawled.

Clinton also said she thought of it.

It does sound like Siri is like reading my text to me.

very odd.

It's fucking weird, isn't it?

Yeah.

But I don't find her.

What charisma?

I don't find like that isn't what she's saying is like.

She's a victim.

Yeah, it's like, that's not presidential.

Like, if he was creeping you out and making you feel fucking thing, why don't you say anything on stage?

Yeah, why weren't you...

Because

that would have been the moment where he could be like, yo, back the fuck off, and everyone would have respected it rather than later on in an audiobook being like, Oh, he was menacing me.

It's like you should have just fucking turned it on him right then and there.

Be like, Why are you so close to me, motherfucker?

Right, like, like, call him out on stage, like, fucking

wind about it in a book months later.

Do you think that's how she talks in real life?

Like, when she's talking to someone, I think, like, remember when she was running it, everybody was saying her voice is like

screechy and stuff, very shrill, yeah.

Yeah, I think it's just an extension of that.

She just doesn't have a warm voice, yeah, you know?

Hello.

Yeah.

I'm Hillary Clinton.

My skin crawled.

It's weird.

It's like such a weird cadence that she has.

I wish she hadn't taken like a fucking victim mentality.

I don't give a fuck.

Like, people in Arkansas don't talk like that.

They still speak normally, just with a twang or whatever, I assume.

Not everyone sounds like they just stepped down.

They move at a little bit slower pace, I thought.

Yeah, but she's like, he was literally breathing down my neck.

It's weird the way her, yeah, the way she says things.

Maybe they slowed it down on purpose.

I wish she hadn't written that.

I don't think so.

Why?

It doesn't change anything.

It doesn't change anything.

It just makes me

think less of her.

Like, why is everything, why is everybody got to be a victim?

Like, why is it always got to be like I was uncomfortable?

He was talking.

Turn around and fucking say something.

Yeah.

Like, no,

if there's any, like, look, you're, you're a girl, you're on a subway, and somebody's saying something to you.

It's definitely more difficult.

You don't do that.

You don't know how this person is going to react.

Why the fuck they're doing this to begin with?

You're on a fucking worldwide stage, basically.

You're looking to be the president of the United States, the leader of the free world.

Yeah.

And you can't handle a dude standing too close to you on the stage breathing.

Yeah, or turning around and saying something about it.

Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me.

But that's exactly the fucking whiny, pussy fucking attitude that

those people, like liberals and lefties, have, which is like, oh, I'm being victimized by a cultural appropriation or microaggression or this or that or whatever the fuck.

It's like that is exactly what people don't want to hear anymore.

No, I disagree with you there, buddy.

I think that's all.

All normal people.

But no, it's like, you're right.

Like to make it like.

I always feel bad for girls like walking around with fucking every skell and scumbag.

Like, have you ever cat curled a woman?

No, not only that, I've only seen it once.

Like I said, like I've said, aside from you's,

I've only actually seen it in real life once where some guy said something to a lady when I was in New York.

And I was like, oh, wow, that's.

I see it in Manhattan all the time.

All the time.

And it's always some fucking skelly scumbag doing it.

Yeah.

Edgar said that

when he worked with crews in New York,

like...

Construction guys, like they would call out to girls.

And he would, he said he put a stop to it.

He's like, look, just fucking work.

Enough with calling out to girls.

It is weird.

It's a fucking weird thing, man.

Like, just leave the moon alone.

Has it ever worked?

It's got to.

It's got to.

Every once in a while, yeah, it's.

One out of, like, what?

What's the success ratio of that?

I don't know.

I guess it depends on

your game, right?

And what you say.

Like, if it's something, like, real sort of like mild,

that could be almost considered flirty and you've got game and you're good looking, maybe then you got a chance.

But if it's just some fucking random dude, like, you know, commenting on ass or tits or fucking, why don't you come back to my place?

Whatever, what's your sign?

I don't know, whatever it is people say.

I've never cackled anyone, so I don't know.

Right.

Yeah, I think it's just like,

let's not lie, you're walking out on the street and you see a pretty girl.

You might think something, but it never

voluntary.

But right, but it never turns into like

a monologue that that it goes anywhere beyond your mind yeah

yeah it would be weird first off I that that success rate for me personally I think would be 0% no matter what I said I think they turn around and be like oh what an awful man

like nobody's responding to that from me

but

have you ever been cat called

me yeah yeah

but

girls are fucking ever since, like, we do, we do public appearances and stuff, I've had my ass grabbed constantly and shit like that.

But I don't do that.

Sal's drunk.

No, yes, Sal.

It happens every time, like, we get anytime we walk through a crowd,

my ass will get grabbed at least once.

My junk will get pawed at.

Well, after they saw that fucking picture of you on stage with the Myundis.

Yeah, that's

how you feel that soda can up.

It looks like a tall boy's in there.

But,

you know, nobody cares about that.

I don't expect people to care about that.

No, you couldn't say anything and have anyone take you seriously.

No.

What's his name?

I don't know his name, but Jon Snow from Game of Thrones.

I think he, I don't remember it, but I guess he showed his ass in Game of Thrones and girls were going gaga, and he said he felt objectified.

Really?

And it's like, as a guy, aren't you like, a guy who's had his ass in junk grabbed, aren't you?

Like, shut the fuck up.

I'm just like,

I don't even like how do you how does a how does a human

feel objectified like i don't get it like that that that process isn't even in me to be like oh my god i'm a piece of meat like it just wouldn't occur to me like you have to care too much about what other people think

too much you'd have to care too much about what other people think and and have yourself on almost like on a pedestal like how could they say that to me i guess i mean taylor swift it's funny is like she's doing that lawsuit now, suing the guy who got it.

I think she won.

Right.

Yeah.

If I brought that lawsuit.

Oh, that'd be awesome.

That'd be amazing.

It would be a mockery.

Like, nobody,

nobody would take it seriously.

Did you have the person removed who did it?

No.

You probably don't even know who did it.

I don't even know who did it, just walking through a crowd.

I happened to send you a comic-con when he's walking through the crowd.

I mean, if you could be like, I want to know who did that right now.

I want to know who did that right now.

I'm going to have everyone removed.

The entire stadium.

Right?

I mean, you could.

But wait a second.

Was it at the end of the thing?

Because people are like, we're leaving anyway.

If you made it big enough to think,

or if you had, or if you're like, oh, who did it?

Or you did it backwards.

You know, you played the game.

You're like, oh, who did that?

Oh, who did that?

Come on.

And you were like made a playable.

And then as soon as somebody was like, I did it, then you were like, then you went ape shit.

Yeah, you're like, you had her tased.

You could do it.

Because honestly, like, by the definition, I was sexually assaulted.

Sure.

Hell yeah.

You can't just grab a man's feet.

You're a victim.

Wait a minute.

I'm a victim.

You've been victimized.

I'm a survivor.

Oh, you need a tattoo.

Say survivor on it.

Oh, don't do that.

Everyone will think it's the band.

There it is.

Taste the music.

Yeah.

What was that one hit?

Ida Tiger?

Yeah, I think that's pretty much it.

That's the only one I remember.

That's a good one.

And then,

oh, how I love this company.

But who?

Makes your junk look large.

Myundis.

If you want to look good in your underwear and be comfortable.

Myundis.

Don't sacrifice style or comfort cue.

You know?

I'm wearing Myundis right now.

Me too.

That's all I wear.

That's all I'll ever wear.

Yeah?

It's a Miundis fucking podcast.

It always has been, always will be.

Yeah, like some, uh, some of these things we kind of just read and, you know,

if a company could offer us triple the ad read, we wouldn't go for it.

That's right.

Yeah, fuck them.

There's no way, right?

There's no way anybody's as good as Miundi's.

Miundi's will be the most comfortable pair of underwear you will own made from sustainable.

Everybody's about sustainable.

Does that mean something to people?

I think so.

Something being sustainable from sustainable sources.

Yeah, you want to know.

Does it last long, right?

Well, no, it means that like whatever they need to do.

We need another touchball.

What's that?

No, like bamboo is sustainable.

You can cut it down, but it grows like really quickly back.

Oh, okay.

Gotcha.

Right.

Well, it's a sustainably sourced, naturally soft fabric that is three times softer than cotton.

Ultimate feel-good undies for when you want to feel naked,

be naked.

Walk around, you want to feel naked.

For the fellas, Miyundi's diamond-seamed pouch cradles your jewels and gives your stuff the support it needs without feeling too tight.

Agreed, ladies, you're gonna love the soft, eco-friendly fabric, so soft and touchable.

Touchable, cue.

Soft.

I feel like with regular panties and bra, I'd rip them right off a girl, but like Miyundi's, I'd want to take off gently so as not to ruin her.

Right, roll the panties down.

Just roll them down, baby.

Wow, that was a nice paul.

There you go.

100% satisfaction guarantee.

You're going to love them or your money back.

20% off.

So there I am, rolling in Panty.

Rolling in Panties.

What a perf.

Get 20% off your first pair and free shipping.

They're so sure you're going to love them.

100% satisfaction guarantee.

Order a pair, and if you don't love the first pair, you're going to get a full refund.

This is a no-brainer to try.

20% off, free shipping, and 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Myundis.com slash T-E-S-D for 20% off, free shipping, and 100% satisfaction.

SBNDs.com slash T-E-S-D.

You got your overkill?

I do have an overkill.

Well, I have two.

One was about a statue that should be knocked down, the crone of the cat skills.

And the other, you might like this more, Walt.

Ten traits aliens must have according to science.

Oh, to be, to be, to be deemed an alien in the scientific community?

To be deemed an alien, yes.

According to science, these are the ten traits aliens would have.

Ten.

I want to hear this.

Okay.

One would be aggressiveness.

This is from Listverse.

I love this one.

Ability.

Yeah.

Hello.

See, I disagree with that.

Well, do you want me to explain?

I don't think I even need an explanation.

Why would an alien need to be aggressive?

What separates humans from other species on the planet in terms of evolution comes down to a simple principle, aggression.

For any species to thrive within a given habitat, it has to confront adversity and overcome it.

These struggles drive evolutionary adaptation.

The dominant life form on a planet, which most aliens would certainly have to be, must be able to master their environment.

So it suggests they would have to be aggressive if they're going to come here.

I mean, just like humans, right?

Humans aggressively populated

the world.

Well, that's not why we evolved.

Like, we evolved because we learned to avoid fucking jaguars and shit like that eating us.

It was actually lack of aggression.

Well, it says they would populate and conquer their surroundings.

If they are more intelligent than we are, they would likely see us as a resource.

10 traits of conquering the human race or just or just the fact that if something comes down to be labeled an alien, it has to be aggressive.

I mean, that's the thing.

No, this is like in order for an alien...

This is the definition of an alien, and it means that they would have to be aggressive.

Do you agree with that, Kieran?

Well, I mean, are they coming here to conquer us?

Because then, yeah, then it has to be aggressive.

Right, but we've seen

the very fact that, like, since we've been seeing

UFO footage,

the fact we haven't been conquered.

Not aggressive.

Not aggressive, then.

What about all the probing?

Or don't exist.

That's all we're killing.

I don't believe the probing is

an aggressive move.

I believe it.

Do you think like one gay alien probed somebody, and that's all anyone wants to talk about anymore?

Like, one alien snuck in and was like,

No, because gay alien?

It's not even the same species.

No, because let's be honest,

as soon as we get to an age, our own race, we do it to ourselves.

As soon as we get to a certain age, it's like every time you want to go to a doctor, everybody wants to look in that spot.

I had a girl probe me once.

I was

fine.

You asked for it, or you was unexpected?

It was at first unexpected, but then later I put the request in.

Unexpected.

That's.

She was a bold

aggressive.

She's an alien.

Oh, shit.

Species.

Yeah, man.

Did she look like Syl?

I wish.

No, not at all.

She looked like Syl from The Sopranos?

Put that lip out.

Fucking Pompadora.

But I mean, right, don't don't you agree, though, that if aliens have been visiting

our planet,

and we've seen murals with

spaceships in the background, Renaissance paintings,

we've seen Roswell, we've seen videos that are unexplainable, that no one has any idea

other than it can only be aliens, the very fact that we are not

bowing to an alien says that they are not aggressive.

Would you bow to an alien?

Would you bend the knee for an alien?

It depends on

the circumstances.

If I was Mano Amano and I was a bad person,

you know, and there's no chance of me to win,

I'll bend, but I'm always going to be

looking for that one instance where he thinks

you can cut his throat?

Yeah, where I can grab him and

fucking

cut him from ear to ear if he even has any ears.

Wouldn't you love to see Walt fucking fighting a gray?

I'd watch a movie.

Come here, you little cocksucker.

Just like bringing him coffee in the morning, waiting for him to look.

Just waiting for his moment.

But you bring up the probing thing.

I believe that, I believe, you know,

obviously it's a very,

it's very undignified.

It's embarrassing.

But I believe it's purely just just for medical reasons.

You're talking about the aliens or your doctor?

I mean, I'm not sure.

I mean, like, it's a constant thing, though.

It's a constant battle to keep some, like, a physician out of your butt.

So, like, why would you think that an alien who's just trying to figure out what we are wouldn't want to see everything?

Wouldn't want to see, okay, well, where does this go?

Oh, okay, where does that go?

Why is this hole here, down here?

Why is this?

But you never hear about them probing like

a vagina or a mouth or ears or nose or something.

All you hear about is the butthole.

Read communion.

Everything?

They probe it all?

They probe it all.

All three probes are going on.

Oh, man.

That's hot.

Alien porn.

So we're saying my ex may be an alien.

Probably.

And every doctor's an alien, too.

Oh, shit.

I believe they're just scientists, though.

But also,

I'm going to go, I'm going to disagree with the aggressive.

Okay.

So

that doesn't hit the

box.

I don't think you disagree with it, too.

I don't think he's on board with.

I don't think it's necessary, no.

I don't think it is either.

I believe an alien can just be a spore-a non-intelligent alien, like a mold?

Okay, right?

I mean, I would be still an alien life form if it was to, if it was to come down, you know, if it was like a germ or something.

It doesn't have to be aggressive, it would work against us.

How fucking boring would that be?

Like, if they unveiled the world's first, like, captured alien and it's a fucking little mold spore?

Well, that's what it's going to be, right?

Oh, no, it's not going to be boring.

No, no, I think it's going to be just as exhilarating as it's going to be proof.

Yeah, but i mean it'll be boring it doesn't look good yeah it won't be like but i mean of course everyone's going to be like oh no is it is it going to be the thing is it going to be you know something along those lines but most likely it won't be but it's still going to be

the scientific community is going to have a hard on that will never go down right yeah

the average man it'll be like the eclipse whatever

am i okay holding this like yeah you're fine okay nobody's crying over a fucking alien what's number nine?

Number nine,

explorers.

Any life form that reaches Earth will, by definition, be an explorer.

Looking to our own culture for clues, we immediately see how unexplored territories are targeted for their resources.

According to Stephen Hawking, aliens are likely to seek out other planets in order to colonize them or mine them for resources.

Aliens may not come to destroy our planet, but they will, in all likelihood, seek to exploit what they find.

That's just

inevitable that you get here.

You're probably going to

probably want to take something back from the trip, right?

Yeah, but it seems like a waste, man.

I mean, like, there's not that many resources on Earth that aren't out in the cosmos.

Like, why bother coming to Earth for them?

Well, really, water is that common?

Sure.

Water's everywhere, man.

It's usually frozen, but all they got to do is go down and grab it.

There's a fucking storm going on Jupiter for 2,000 years now.

No, stormy weather.

They don't want to travel in that.

Come down here where it's nice and clear, suck the whole fucking ocean dry.

Oil?

Oil, yeah, man.

Yeah, but steal all our fossil fuels.

Boy, their machines run on fossil fuels.

I don't know.

They're topping off and making their way to Earth.

They're still using leaded gasoline in those spaces.

We could fucking create vehicles that don't run on fossil fuels.

We just don't.

So why would aliens still need it?

Look in the mirror, you're going to see the biggest resource that they want.

Brian Quinn.

Yeah.

Well, they're going to take it back to their planet to fucking play some in practical jokes.

Now I believe this

Q gets probed.

Viral and bacterial immunity.

Yeah, I'm sure they're going to have immunity to a lot of stuff.

Our germs have evolved to survive on our unique DNA.

Even viruses and bacterial infections that infect one species will rarely spread to another.

Any alien life form that invaded Earth would likely be immune to earthly diseases.

A war of the worlds.

That's not how it was.

Right.

They said don't expect War of Worlds.

That was a science fiction story.

I see.

That wasn't a documentary.

All right.

But you know that

this is really

going to have spacesuits on, though.

You think they'll be in spacesuits?

Yeah.

I mean, I know that

it's.

That's even more boring than a mold spore.

It was just a guy in a spacesuit?

I mean, it's sexy to think that they're naked grays running around, but I don't think they really are.

I think that they're sexy is one word.

They got pants on.

They're covered.

Just like a human being would have to have protection against

the germs or the microbes that are out on an alien world.

We wouldn't know if we could survive

those things.

They probably would be dealing with the same things until they take the tests of all the things that are out there.

Until they get in your ass and figure out what's going on.

Yeah, they're like, all right, now

for the grand finale of the ass.

That's why all the different aliens have got to figure out everything that's on this earth that can hurt them.

They've got to go deep.

Deep in your ass.

They're like, you smell like ass.

Let's get off this planet.

Good news, they won't eat humans.

All right.

How do we know that, though?

Hey, this is science, bro.

The journey from any potentially life-supporting planet is incredibly long, and for any species to attempt it, they would have to have a sustainable food production method already in place.

Yeah, but I don't have to eat Doritos, but every once in a while I like to just pop a bag down.

Right.

Very true.

So maybe, like, a human's just a snack.

Like, we don't primarily eat you, but you're here.

We can.

You look delicious.

If they're anything like us, though, they will try it, it because that's what we do.

It's like as soon as we see a new species of animal, we want to try to eat it.

A lot of people are like that.

It's pretty gross, right?

Right.

So that would be very much against human nature.

The aliens wouldn't be tempted to find out what it tastes like.

Good point.

But they say the digestive setup of a creature that evolved in a different sector of the universe is not likely to be compatible with the kinds of proteins found on this planet.

That makes sense.

An alien race would already be adept at harnessing energy by that point.

And they don't know if we would be poisoned to them.

Unless they put us here.

There's that.

We want that goddamn iPhone back.

You know?

It's like a farm.

There's a theory out there.

I was going to bring it tonight that aliens nuked the Earth on purpose to kill the dinosaurs so that we would have a shot at

the human race

would thrive and

become what we have become.

We wouldn't have been able to do it if we lived side by side with dinosaurs.

Right, but

the time between dinosaurs and men, what were they doing then?

Who?

The aliens.

They just set everything into motion.

They dropped the nuke.

Oh, they set evolution into motion.

Yeah, and once, and once they, and once that, you know, it wasn't just a nuke that killed them.

It was

the knock-on effect of the nuke.

They got radiation poisoning and their teeth got sent to the bottom.

I I mean, it was like a nuke like you wouldn't believe, and like it had to, all the dinosaurs had to die out because it blocked out the sun.

So, over a course of years,

it wasn't a nuke that could kill every dinosaurs at once because that's insane.

That's just crazy.

No, it would be an implemented plan that would, it would take a while to kill the dinosaurs and then a while for the Earth to revert back to be habitable for humans.

Right.

That's a theory, though.

Obviously.

Obviously.

Okay.

Impersonal killers.

Aliens, like any advanced species, will make use of technology to their advantage.

They'll probably eradicate the life forms on a planet they're considering for their own uses before landing.

So they're saying they're going to fucking wipe us out and then they'll come down.

I mean, cool.

That would be better than being enslaved by a fucking alien, I guess.

Especially if we don't know what's coming.

If, like, we just get hit and we're dead and we never even knew it was coming.

That's all right.

Yeah.

Because that's got to be the worst.

Like, dying of old age where you're just laying around and like you know, you're starting to like really fucking wind down.

Yeah.

I think it's unrealistic, though, to think that

there's any one weapon out there that can kill everybody at the same time.

You know, like they drop one weapon and everything's, and there's no more resistance.

Well, it depends.

If it's like a highly evolved biological weapon that just spreads all over.

It would still take time, but yeah, that could work.

Yeah.

It's still not going to get some of the like a remote, like

some remote tribe somewhere, right?

Yeah.

But will they be able to offer us no help, though?

They couldn't do shit.

Right.

Yeah.

We're like, hey, man, we need your help.

They're like, what the fuck?

Like, we're still eating people and shit.

We're cannibals.

Yeah, we don't even have plumbing.

You think we're going to be able to fucking defeat an alien armada?

Yeah.

Like, you see those train tracks over there?

That's our toilet.

So I don't know what to tell you.

I guess the aliens are going to get us all.

I wasn't talking like that.

I was talking idiot.

I was talking like some remote, like

something or like, like the like those New Guinea

people that they don't even like, they don't even let any expeditions come near them.

I wasn't talking about people who have TVs and shit.

They're watching it on TV

Without TVs.

Did you hear,

this is going to interrupt our

overkill a little bit, but there is

an Indian movie.

It's called Toilet.

Yeah, I heard about this.

Oh, you did hear about this.

What is it now?

It's like a PSA kind of thing.

Satirical, no, it's a movie.

It's a satirical comedy in support of Indian prime minister blah, blah, blah,'s governmental campaign to improve the sanitation conditions with an emphasis on the eradication of open defecation.

It was financially there's a movie about a good

funded by the government.

I don't think so.

No, it says it's a parody in support of

this person's policy.

So the people making this film are not on the side of

the

I think they're on the side of toilets.

Okay.

So why parody the fucking movement?

The film starts, no pun intended.

The film starts in a village where a group of women went to a field far away from their village in the wee hours to defecate in the open behind the cover of bushes.

Some dude sees one of the girls taking a shit, I guess, falls in love with her.

It'd be hard to do.

Do you think you'd love to see you today?

Do you think you'd be married today?

First time you see him.

It would be very difficult to get over that.

That would be like, do you believe in love at first sight?

Well, let me tell you about this.

Let me tell you about my friend who married.

She locked eyes in it while she was shooting on her own heels.

There he was taking a stroll through the open bush.

Yeah, so I guess he's

okay, so

he goes on the first morning in the guy's house, he goes reluctantly to a field to take a shit,

but comes back agitated with and then

and he the the I guess the whole thing is the the guy is trying to to be like hey just use a toilet

she doesn't want one in the house and uh

and it's a whole thing it's a whole thing oh my god can you imagine like with all the that goes on in a new relationship right yeah throw into the mix you're like just use the toilet like you don't gotta run out to the oh you're trying to change to the field yeah i guess you're gonna shame me motherfucker you're gonna toilet shame me yeah you knew what i was when you met me i was taking a shit when you first met me.

You met me and taken a shit in the field.

Yeah, I was mid-shit when you met me, motherfucker, and now everything has to change.

Aliens are not going to look like giant insects.

In reality, the body structure of an insect only functions on a small scale.

They don't have oxygenated blood.

Blah, blah, blah.

So they're not going to look like roaches and shit.

They're not going to look like them.

Nope.

Nope.

They're super intelligent.

Everybody knows that, right?

Yeah, that's a fact.

It's more likely they will be calculating controlled beings, making precise decisions, more like playing chess.

Well, if we were to land on another planet with alien life forms, would we be considered super intelligent?

Just by the fact that you got there means that

the rest of the galaxy

would have to recognize and like if there was a moon being, like, they'd want their props.

Yeah, but there's very few fucking Jeff Bezos and Teslas and the fucking galaxy.

That's what I'm saying.

Because just because the four guys that jumped out of that ship, that's not a true representation of, I mean, we got fucking, we're just talking about fucking people shitting on train tracks.

Is that really an intelligent?

You throw them in a fucking spaceship and send them up right.

Yeah, you just can't show your fucking Bill Gates

off and your

Warren Buffetts.

You got to show off your

honey boo-boos or

go-go juice.

But most people are dopes, right?

Like the majority of the human race are pretty dopey.

I hate to think that way.

That sounds so like

because that sounds so very

elitist.

Why?

I'm not saying I'm not a dope.

You're not a dope, though.

You know you're not a dope.

And I just watched fucking

Luke Cage

instead of curing cancer.

You know what I mean?

It just sounded like it was a choice between the two.

Yeah.

But it is.

Isn't it every day?

Like a choice between like...

I'm watching Iron Fist now.

Like, doesn't it fucking like...

All right, you might be a a dope.

Like, aren't I?

No, because you know you wouldn't have cured cancer.

You wouldn't have cured cancer if you didn't watch those shows, so you can't use that as your measuring stick.

Well, I got zero shot of doing it if I'm fucking watching those shows.

I mean, you could go to school from now until

your

last day on the planet.

I mean, I don't mean to say it in a rude way, but you know you're not going to be able to solve cancer.

Because

I'm a dope.

No, you're not a dope.

For decades, people have been trying.

And if they can't do it.

but I'm not contributing

to the cause at all.

You're contributing in other ways, though.

Giving them something to test, I guess.

I did my part.

I believe, like, there's people, I can't stand people that come into the store that you know, and the way they say it, like, they look down on everybody because they think they're smarter than everybody.

I don't want to ever be that person because I know that I'm not smarter than again, get them.

I'm a brilliant one.

So I'm very loath to take that.

I mean, there is definitely people that you come across every day who

I think there's just as many people who are smarter than me and then who are not as smart as me.

You know who that guy is

on our crew is Ronnie Porto.

Very smart guy.

That dude is really intelligent.

You'd never know it.

He doesn't talk that much, but when he does, you're like, you can just tell.

Like, this is a very intelligent dude.

Doesn't board it over anyone.

Mosier's one of those guys.

Mosier's like that.

He's fucking smarter.

Yeah.

He's a fucking really smart dude.

More involved.

If you're dopey, if anything, for watching Power Fist or whatever the fuck

instead of

Wet Hot American Summer.

Oh, I watched that already.

Is it not fucking amazing?

Fucking great.

Them doing Reagan and George Bush and how fucking big they take it.

I mean, when he's going to get them to take a shit, he says, take the shit.

George shit.

It's so fucking funny.

Yeah.

It's really amazing the direction they took that.

Yeah.

It was great.

Got any more over there?

There's two more.

Speech and writing.

They would or would not be doing it.

I don't know.

I'm fascinated by alien writings.

Have you ever looked it up?

No, I have not.

It looks like this.

It's fascinating.

Okay.

Alien alphabet is always something that

just intrigued me and gave me the heebie-jeebies

because there's

that's the true sense of alien.

Like, that's as alien as it gets.

Yeah.

Alien language.

Do we not have any ads this week?

We do.

I'm just going to do them all at the end because we're so far in now to start them.

Got it.

Usually you find some ham-fisted fucking segue in, but I have been waiting for it.

We're talking about aliens and shit.

What's the last one?

The type of speech.

Well, I haven't even said speech yet.

Oh.

Let's see.

Aliens would need the ability to communicate, blah, blah, blah.

The type of speech employed by interstellar travelers and how it might be recorded is somewhat of a mystery, depending on their environment.

Sound waves may not be the most effective approach.

Telepathy.

Now you're talking.

Or telepathy.

I've tried it.

Perhaps they will use vibrations.

Don't line meld with that, motherfucker.

I know.

You'll lose yourself.

No, you should.

Then you can find out where he buries his money.

He says he buries his money.

There was a time when I thought I could.

How much money do you think he's buried?

I don't know.

I think if we found out, we'd be shocked at the amount.

I don't think so.

No.

No, because

before he got the job here, I think he was living like, you know, not living large.

Right.

Like he was about to jump in one of the holes he just took for his fucking money.

Remember when No, I guessed

what he was eating?

Remember, he wrote it down and I guessed it.

That's when we were.

We were in tune.

You know, obviously, you know, if you listened last week, you realize we've just been, we haven't been in tune as well.

We're allowed to sink a little.

Yeah, a little bit.

We're working towards getting back to that point.

We're not there yet, but how did it go?

Like, how has he been improving?

He has been.

You know what he's done?

He's done things that are in his way, his own way, are

almost, you would be like, that's sweet.

Really?

Yeah.

He's done things that are subtle.

Like his job?

He tried to kill himself.

Aw?

Not for me.

Take that noose off, kid.

No, the ball.

Paul is forgiven.

Like, there's a huge fucking flood in the basement.

Oh, you stupid fucker.

You know, he's done things that, like, like, where you're like, and when I realized why he did them, I was just like, oh,

that's your way of like.

of showing me

it was just nice.

Okay.

And in his own way, he's

like I said, we're not, we're like, well, there was a time when I thought I could read his mind.

And

we got away from that.

I want to get back there again.

I wish everything you guys did was film.

So, like, last week, I could have made a short montage of you guys reading each other's minds, throwing the fidget spinners back and forth.

Some sort of melancholy tune behind it.

But, you know,

I'm going on vacation next week.

I think some would say a much need a vacation.

I'm sure Giddam would say a much need a vacation.

When's the last time you went on vacation?

Not that long ago.

So, you know, but I'm happy to be going.

And I'm sure

I want to see when I get back, though, if

there was that feeling of like, I missed Giddam.

You know,

maybe there will be.

Doubtful, but

we'll see.

I don't think it'll be.

I know for a fact he ain't going to miss me.

I'm sure he's just like, oh, motherfucker, leave.

Yeah, man, it's going to be like the fucking cat's away.

Do you think he'll keep up?

Will Mike be the overlord that you are, or he just

won't want to be bothered with Genham?

I think him and Mike get along.

So I don't know if Mike's going to be an overlord,

but

it's.

I think they'll just enjoy.

I think both of them will enjoy themselves with me out there.

Yeah.

I don't think there's nothing wrong with that.

I think that's natural.

I think that's the American way.

When the boss isn't there,

people are like, oh, it's like they can chill out a little bit.

Yeah.

I think everybody needs that little break.

You know,

they need it

just as much as I need.

Just as much as I need it, I guess.

All right.

You want to know the last thing about aliens?

Yeah.

Super strength.

They will not be super strong.

Once reaching the level of technological, you can kick an alien's ass.

Once reaching the level of technological proficiency required to be space explorers, the need for brute strength should be several thousand years removed from its usefulness.

These creatures will be lean and efficiently designed beings using minimal energy.

So no fucking Schwarzenegger style aliens.

That's good to know because at this point and I was trying to go over in pop culture how many aliens could I take.

You could definitely fuck up E.T.

I was going to say E.T., I would just fucking beat the shit out of that fucking creature.

Right.

As a lesson to all the other aliens.

I would have that neck fucking snapped.

But I don't care.

I don't know.

Can you think of any other aliens you could take?

Other than E.T.?

Let's see.

Let me look some up.

Oh, half the things in Java's Palace, I could probably take.

Really?

Yeah, the band, that fucking shitty band.

Yeah, you could definitely.

Yeah, you could.

not the Gamarian guards, I'm not, you know what I mean, not the Rancor, but like, you know, some of the freaks like Max Reball, you could fucking

round house.

All right, I didn't realize you were taking it into like other universes.

I just, I just meant aliens that have come to Earth in movies.

That's where I was going with, you know, like.

All right.

Who else came to Earth?

What other aliens?

Remember that?

What was that one with

The Day the Earth Stood Still, that guy?

The fucking robot, dude?

Is a robot's not only an alien, though?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I thought you said Mork.

I was like, I don't even think I could take Mork.

Spaced?

Weren't there Greys in that?

They were in Hawaiian shirts and talking like Jack Nicholson and shit.

What about Elf?

You could fuck up Elf.

Yeah, you could take Elf.

Yeah, I think I could too.

Pretty much, yeah, pretty much.

I mean, any aliens that have come to Earth that I can remember offhand, you could definitely take.

Those fucking bitches at the end of Crystal Skull, they were like Greys, right?

Yeah, that might be

and Close Encounters, the Greys.

They seem pretty passive.

They were like, yeah, they look like they were like hippies.

Yeah.

You just smack the fucking petouli oil right off them.

They'll just stare at you.

Stare at you with a tear in their eye.

Big black soulless.

Like there was some homo that just saw an eclipse.

This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio.

Sir, only at Smodcast.com.