#347: Git'em the Hell Outta Here

Don't put on a show.

There's no need to put on a show because no one's fucking watching and no one's entertained.

Oh my god, I fucked get him

get the fuck out of here!

No, no, you're a safety, you know.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I'm thinking about changing the opening a little bit, man.

Maybe like

a welcome to the wonderful world of Tellum Steve Dave.

I just bite off Disney a little.

This sounds like a new Coke type situation, if I'm going to be honest with you.

Too much rebranding?

There's a lot of talk of rebranding lately, and I'm not sure that anybody liked it.

All right.

What kind of fucking store are you running here, by the way?

Customers are getting screamed at across the fucking floor?

What's happening?

Let me tell you, man,

for anyone who thinks Walt Flanagan's life is

peaches and cream, the proverbial peaches and cream,

I'm telling you, just witnessing today,

this dude's got a lot.

He's a manager.

This dude is managing motherfuckers.

It's no joke.

You got fucking rogue employees like Giddam.

I mean, Giddam's just yelling at angering customers.

He was yelling at a customer?

Yelled at a customer.

The customer said something to Walt.

He goes, what are you doing?

He's like, that's what happens here?

He yells at customers.

And shockingly, they weren't talking about me.

No.

They're talking about Giddam.

What did Gidham say?

I don't know.

Yelled.

So much to go over.

Walt.

And it looks like you're energized and ready to go.

I mean, what's going on?

I was fucking ready to go if we had just were fucking.

I'm really fucking ready to fucking kill someone.

Really?

I want to fucking bash someone's head in.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not a good time.

It's not a good time to do.

I mean, I was ready to go, Q.

I was more than ready to go.

I mean, I feel for you because that was tense, man.

I want to fucking

know what to do, bro.

I mean, is this one of those episodes that ends in fucking five minutes?

No, you guys can continue on.

We'll pull you in, man.

You're going to have a good time.

I'm going to talk to you.

I don't think so.

I got some Hitler shit for you.

Do you want to?

Yeah, talk it out.

No, I don't want to talk it out.

I'll listen to you guys talk.

Go ahead.

And then maybe it'll it'll cheer me up.

I've got to say,

I'm not crazy about

this comic book men TV show.

I see Walt's energy levels drop precipitously when we're doing the TV show.

Well, I don't think this is related to that.

We're in through that.

I think it's related to that fucking chucklehead up front.

The yelling guy?

Yeah.

What do we do here, Q?

How do we help our friend?

Just talk.

Go ahead.

Tell me your story about your after-party.

I hear there was an after-party or something.

Good, talk about that.

I don't like the tension in there.

Really?

Pop it with an after-party story.

Yeah?

You sure you don't want me to get him over here and yell at him?

No.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't even have to say a word.

Let's get him explained himself for yelling at a customer.

What do you say, Q?

I mean, I'm down.

I'm trying to gauge Walt.

I don't know.

Yeah?

You don't even have to say anything, Walt.

Can you just tell your after-party story?

Don't even involve Getam.

All right.

Gotcha.

So there I was

on this set of the Impractical Jokers After Party.

Yeah.

What a scene.

Yeah, you do it in a brewery, and everybody's drinking.

Walt, you would have loved it.

Everyone's drunk?

Everybody's drinking.

No, no.

In fact, most people are not drunk or drinking.

This week I did not drink.

Usually we'll drink beers while we do it, but not this week.

Yeah, and essentially, for those of you, and I can't imagine anyone doesn't watch IJ.

Well, I can.

Really?

Sure.

No way.

It's great.

It's been great.

I love it.

It's like Talking Dead or any number of shows that, you know, they watch the Jesus Christ.

They dissect the episode that they just aired before it?

Yeah,

we try to steer it away from that, Walt.

We try and get to a place where we just riff on it, use it

as a jump-off point to talk about whatever we want, but But the network would like us to basically recap the episode.

They're not in the business of breaking new ground, they're in the business of seeing what Chris Hardwick did well, and then Simmy being like, you guys do that.

Do that.

Sounds like

you got a memo.

No, we didn't get a memo, but the showrunner.

Straight outside the box.

No, I don't get memos anymore.

I don't get my map.

I don't get memos.

But the showrunner for

a wonderful woman named marina certainly gets notes and a lot of them have to do it to stop us talking about me crawling into bed with brian johnson

and there's no way to stop it there is no way the train left that station years ago right uh so so you it's uh in a brewery there's a bunch of like ij stuff in the background um and you sit around a table little like uh bar table i guess you would call it i don't know i don't know yeah and uh joey fatone hosts it who's who really is like he's good natural.

He's good at it.

Right?

Yeah.

Like for a guy who was singing and dancing up a storm for a long time, like he has the makings of Mario Lopez, right?

I think he could do better than Mario Lopez.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A.C.

Slater himself.

But I'm partial to Fatone.

Yeah, I think he's good at it.

How are we going to have Genem up at the front of the store and these two not talking to each other and not address it?

I don't know.

I have to respect Walt's feelings here.

I do.

I want to get him to answer for his sins, but

what do I do?

I don't know.

It's so odd that you could cut the tension in here.

Maybe, like,

don't stop that.

Don't stop this story now.

I was just getting going.

Yeah.

Well, unfortunately, that was the end.

What if we brought back booty time?

Would that help?

No.

No?

That'd be more of a pain in the balls for him.

I don't want to make it.

Maybe you want more weight on your shoulders.

You don't have to.

I thought you had to.

I was just going to do.

I had all this shit planned.

That's what I'm saying.

You can't let this fucking mook break you down.

Yeah.

It's too late.

This guy's got anger issues.

He's yelling at customers and shit.

He was all fired up, ready to go.

Two minutes later.

Giddam neutralizes his enthusiasm.

Fucking, that's not what he's supposed to be doing, though.

That's nobody's here.

We need people to tweet at Giddem Steve Dave and tell him to shut his goddamn mouth.

Well, I mean, basic customer service.

Yeah.

Yelling.

Hollering.

He's lurking up there.

He's not even

like looking back here.

Nah.

Well, you know, he's in trouble.

Is he though?

He's like a cowed dog.

Is he in trouble?

I don't know.

He's been in trouble all day.

Has he?

Rightfully so.

What else did he do?

It's like too deep to go into, but he did something that Walt explicitly told him not to do, and then he did it anyway.

And watching, like,

it's almost like watching a parent and child, like, as he's like,

did you do this?

And there's no answer, and just like the blank expression of like, what's my move here?

Which is like an outsider, like, it's interesting to watch.

But as a friend, I'm like, oh, this poor bastard.

He deserves better.

Walt deserves better.

Well, he deserves a Brian Johnson by his side.

What did Windor?

You know what I wouldn't give you?

What's it?

You can't go to bed with the devil and expect to wake up with an angel.

Yeah, whatever that line is.

You lay with dog, you get fleas?

Yeah, the demonic get him.

The flea-bitten get him.

Is he going out the front door to avoid

all confrontation?

No, he's just locking it up.

Are you going to do your locked-out, clocked-out thing or no?

No way.

Does that happen anymore?

Doesn't happen anymore.

This relationship has soured.

Do you want me to

fire him?

No, no, no.

But, you know, it's like any father-son relationship.

It's bound to happen.

The power struggles, the defiance.

You're saying Giddam's in his teenage years right now?

Giddam is no more than a rebellious teenager.

What did you do?

What?

Why are you yelling at customers?

Why are you yelling at customers?

I was communicating to them from across the way that there were no hidden pops on the...

Case.

Well, you yelled it across the store.

We don't have an intercom, sadly.

Otherwise, I'd make a PA a downstairs.

Well, you think that's a better way to do it?

Hit an intercom and have the voice of God come out and be like, put down those potential purchases?

Like, why wouldn't you just let the guy browse?

It's just

been doing it for months now.

The guy?

The guy's been coming up.

No, just people rearranging the pops.

Like, if they move it in a specific manner, a pop will pop out of nowhere that hasn't been there.

Oh, so.

So people are looking through the stock, hoping that they might see something they're looking for.

That is fucking weird.

Well, Well, no, that somebody would do that.

Outlandish.

They're arranged in order.

Behind the Jimi Hendrix pop is the Jimi Hendrix pop.

Behind the

Adam Anne pop is the other Adam Ann pop.

It's

Adam Anthony Musician.

Adam Anthea.

But

turn on Mike, ask white.

Don't you?

I mean, you could at least lean in.

You want to leave, don't you?

I'm not.

I'm on my way out, but.

But I mean,

it just seems like.

But isn't your job to rearrange the pops when

people like fucked them up?

Yeah, so you let them know beforehand that there's no hidden pops.

See, I'm trying to avoid doing my job.

But now that guy got angry and gave Walt shit.

So.

What kind of son are you?

I know.

I shouldn't have let him in the store because it was 558 when he came in, but I got yelled at for that, so.

Oh my gosh.

Get the fuck out.

Whoa.

This is the realest it's ever gotten.

Woof.

I'm not even kidding.

And all situations.

Did I break my iPad?

Rich, we need to put a call out for another iPad.

I've seen this.

I've known Walt since fifth grade.

Never have I seen him

as angry in that moment.

Jesus Christ.

I would like to think we didn't spur it on.

I mean, I thought I was trying to help, but

there is no helping.

There is no helping.

All right.

How's that sound?

How's his mic sound?

Kind of buzzy.

Like there's a B in it now, maybe a little bit.

All right.

Hold on.

Yeah.

We may have.

Okay, there you go.

Good?

Brent.

Nah.

Let me put another mic on.

Hold on, everyone.

All right.

Pause out.

I got to say, I love that he broke a mic, though.

That's fucking rock.

That was metal.

He's getting it out.

Yeah.

He's like, get the fuck out.

I love it.

I gotta say, I didn't know what the fuck was gonna happen.

You stood up and you grabbed the mic, and then you almost turned towards him.

And I was like, holy fuck, he's about to get him with a mic.

And then you slammed the fucking iPad.

And almost broke his freedom glasses from the pharmacy.

Holy shit, that was fucking kind of awesome, dude.

You need to do it every once in a while, or in my case, like every couple hours.

Whoa.

So what do you want to do?

Do you want to.

Well, good men just send it in.

Oh, I don't mean about the mic.

I mean about

Walt.

Do you want to keep going, buddy?

Do you want to

lock up?

We'll clock it, lock it.

I mean, if you don't want to stick around, we'll do it, you know?

I want to get, you don't know how long I've worked on this other project.

I can't.

I could say working on that for months.

I can't now.

And with us not being able to meet, I just want to get this power through this.

I'm so tired of ineptitude.

It's not just him.

It's everywhere.

It's every fucking person I turn to is a fuck-up.

Okay.

Now look at, I'm not talking about you.

Not in this table.

Not in this table.

I just take it as a given.

I'm not offended.

Yeah, you know what, dude?

I have been noticing that too lately.

Same thing.

I've been saying, like, nobody gives a shit about their job, really.

Well, it's just, it's everyone's a fuck-up.

Everyone.

Everyone's a fuck-up.

Every person I walk in, not everyone, of course, but people, if I give them responsibility,

they fuck it up.

It's inevitable.

We're looking at you, Mike Zipzick.

You don't like it.

You need a solid...

Well,

you need a solid right-hand man.

No, I don't.

I need to be by myself.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'm becoming concerned about this solitude that you've been.

I've always been that way.

Yeah, but like more so lately.

I mentioned it to Q.

Yeah, he did.

I was like, I'm becoming, because of listening to you and mom talk the other day, I'm like, he's slowly removing himself from all, almost all social inter or at least attempting to.

Yeah, but I've always wanted to do that, though.

Yeah.

And now I just feel like I can now.

Now you can?

Yeah.

Because you're a star?

TV?

No, no, because of my diagnosis.

Sequester myself.

Well, in all fairness, the asshole you almost killed was the one who diagnosed you.

If he's half as good as a doctor as he is at customer service, I would fucking get a second opinion.

Yeah.

He fucking tried to turn around a waltz.

Did you see that shit?

I did see it.

And I heard it.

I did not think that was going to be the reaction, but it makes you feel better, right?

Like I have.

Really?

Like, getting out that, like, just smashing something.

Like, I do think I'm ready, though, to go just a new phase of my life where I'm by myself, though.

I don't have to rely on anybody.

This is more fucking parent going solo person.

I fucking do it.

I just feel like when I'm responsible for what I got to do, it gets done.

Yeah.

And I do it, and like, I'm fine with it.

But as soon as I'm like, well,

I need you to do this because I can't do it, or I don't know how to do it, it doesn't get done.

Right.

And it's very frustrating.

On your bag, I bet.

Yeah, and it's not just him, though.

I mean, he's right now, he's the focus of all my anger, but it's not just him.

It's that other guy we were just talking about.

The other guy

you spoke to in an email.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.

It's that too.

It's just like, it's just a constant parade of disappointment and excuses and

just

half-assed.

Like, I'm just tired of being around half-asses.

I just don't want to be around half-asses no more.

Half-asses.

And if I'm by myself, I feel like,

you know,

I don't have to think about it.

Finally, whole-ass action.

Gotcha.

Oof.

I mean, there's people like, you know, like, I'm.

It's really nice, though,

to not truly feel like, well, he's definitely talking about

like he would have been years ago.

Rightfully so.

Well, that's because he's just stopped giving you shit to do.

It's the only reason why you're not on that list.

That's the key.

Stop asking me to do shit.

I won't disappoint you.

Yeah, I mean, I just found

that ground where I was like, oh, okay.

I'll never be mad at him again.

And it's working.

It's like when they total a car.

They're just like, he's a complete loss.

There's no saving this thing.

Which is kind of his head.

That means he still has hope, forget him, but not you.

Had I thought about it like that?

Yeah, well, you know, that's what I'm here for.

Jeez.

Yeah.

Oof.

So,

what would you recommend, Q?

What does Walt do here?

What's his move?

Does he have like some kind of monster therapy session with Giddem?

Well,

I mean, it's a fucked-up situation because if it wasn't Giddem, you'd be like, you got to fire him.

You have to.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think that's that.

I mean,

in his

OCD

autistic, and I can say that mind,

because I think most people can.

Since it's a medical term, but I don't know.

But because I am myself, I think that he feels like he's doing his job by

alerting someone that there's no hidden pops behind a stack of pops.

He doesn't realize that.

That's not the way you do it.

Yeah.

Did you hear him yell at this guy?

He just yelled it loud.

So he just spoke loudly.

He spoke loudly.

And this guy wasn't pleased with that.

Well,

he came off like a rebuke.

Like there's no hidden pops.

You know what I mean?

Because he doesn't want to go do it later.

Right.

Exactly.

But the guy's in the end with his wife and kid.

Oh.

Emasculated him.

They're probably going to get divorced.

Thanks to get him.

Well,

they already have a kid, so.

All right, what are you going to do?

Damages done there.

But,

yeah, I don't know.

I mean, that's the thing.

If it wasn't Giddem, I don't know.

Because I don't want to put Walton up to this.

You know how, like, when you fucking break up with someone and, like, your friends start ragging on her, and, like, you're fucking forced to defend her, even though you don't want to.

It's fucking horrible.

You're like, please don't make me defend this fucking woman.

The best person on earth you want to defend, and people are putting in their position where you're like,

right.

You need that friend who's just like, nah, she was all right, but you're better off on your own.

You need to be that guy and you need that guy i may be better off on my own completely on my own just like maybe in the store or it's time to are you telling take a new

a new position i'm not good with people anymore are you um

are you telling your wife and children via podcast no no no no they're oh my god no they're not they're not the problem

i'm like when i go home there's no problems there's no like i have children and it's not like this right it's not just just get them, it's everybody in my life acts like a fucktard.

We, uh, we had this discussion a little bit earlier where I said, I was like, in my work life, right?

I never hear him complain about his teenage daughters or have issues.

Yeah, 18-year-old just got a car, and it's not like there's no drama, there's no nonsense.

There was so much, like, unrelated to this pop situation, so much drama earlier today that, like, like a firewall's trying to put out, and I'm like, what the fuck?

Like, these guys are acting like teenage fucking kids and shit.

Not TV show related.

Kind of.

A little bit.

It's all, you know, incestuous.

It would be TV show related.

Right.

I'll tell you later on because it's just too long, but it's

something.

It's just one of those things where it's like, why are you making me deal with this?

This whole problem could be easily eradicated if you guys stopped acting like a bunch of bitches.

No offense to bitches.

Yeah.

Call a bitch a bitch when it's a bitch.

Right.

Bitch, get them.

Oof.

Something else, huh?

Yeah, for anyone who thinks it's all fucking.

It could be.

It could be.

It could be so easy.

It could be so easy if a couple people would just do things a little differently.

Were you guys step up the game like 10%, 15% things would be better?

A percentage might be a little higher.

Oh, it's that bad.

I think it's just emotionally.

Like, I know that's coming from a guy who just slammed a fucking mic into a fucking iPad.

Yeah, but you're not that guy normally, though.

That's how fucking crazy.

I I call that Wednesday.

But emotionally,

I'm dealing with mental midgets.

Depending on how Wednesday goes.

Mental midgets?

I believe mentally.

Emotionally,

their

inabilities to just

stop.

Just stop trying to make jokes.

Stop trying to be funny.

You're not fucking funny.

You're just here to fucking bag that fucking book, fucking take a book book out of a box, put it on a shelf, and stop shuffling and jiving because that's what you're here for.

Huh?

Rinse and repeat.

Keep doing the same shit.

Like, don't put on a show.

There's no need to put on a show because no one's fucking watching and no one's entertained.

Well, I know one clip from the screen.

Wow.

I don't like it.

I don't like to see you this stressed out.

Normally, you're fucking kind of Zen.

I was away all week.

That's why it makes me wonder if I've had enough.

Like, there was a time at the rec center.

I knew it was time.

It's getting to that point now.

It's getting to that point.

It's not just him.

It's getting to that point where I don't want to deal with people coming in.

I don't want to deal with.

I don't want to deal with stupid questions like

where is the, like, just.

Where are the hidden pops?

Yeah.

Like, even questions that are like, I'm like, I should, like,

I shouldn't be answering at this stage in my life.

Right.

Yeah.

I think, and it just comes to 20.

It's almost 20 years in doing this.

Right.

I think it's only natural, right?

If you were a fucking New York City cop, you'd be getting

attention right now, yeah.

Or committing suicide.

One or the other.

Yeah, something crazy.

Shit.

So what are you saying you're prepared to go to Tel and Steve Dave full-time?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Twice a week?

Twice a week, Telen Steve Dave?

I'll be your half-ass.

Twice a week, Tell and Steve Dave, and one episode that they got to pay for.

If there was a paycheck involved in that, I think at this point I might.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

If we do two episodes a week, how are you going to do that?

The guy who's like, can't do it next week.

Couldn't do it last week.

When we record two episodes in a sitting week,

I couldn't remember.

We record two episodes in a sitting, and then we fucking, we even put up like

one of those patron things everybody's always saying.

Oh, Patreon?

With that comes obligation.

That's my only concern is like.

And I can't ask you to, with your schedule, to be beholden to two episodes a week, though.

Yeah, sure.

And think of my schedule.

If you're not there, I don't think right now I'd be like, hey, get him, want to come down and record because I quit and I fucking, you know, I don't think he's going to be all that happy to come down and help me out.

Yeah, but we, but we, but we're pretty consistent.

We don't miss that many weeks.

No, I would say out of 52 weeks, we probably do like 45.

But that's not, you know what, it's not the listener's responsibility now to, because I'm ready, I may be, you know, and plus I'm not

in the best frame of mind right now.

So, you know,

like I said, about an hour ago, I was ready to roll.

You know, I was like, I was just going to go.

Because you had nothing but good news.

We're all leaving with the show.

We're going to the West Coast for a couple of days.

It's going to be nice and serene.

You're going to coast.

Except now.

Yeah, I can't go to Borgata, unfortunately.

So tomorrow you'll come in, and it'll just be you and

get away.

Oh, boy.

I don't know.

You think he comes in?

Definitely.

There's no doubt.

He's where else is he going to go?

Yeah.

If he doesn't.

Would you come back?

Yeah, I'd come back.

Well, not only would I come back, but probably tonight I would spend assessing, like,

he's usually not trying to smash his iPad with a mic.

I feel like maybe I had something to do with it.

I should talk to him and be like, hey, you know what?

But you know what?

He's like, he's out there.

So you don't know like

the problem kind of solves itself.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you, but I think.

But you know, if he doesn't come back, he's not on the show anymore.

He's not part of he's this life he's built up is all gone.

He's not going to do that.

You know, and all kid and all anger and kidding aside, though,

this is a friend we're talking about, though.

This guy has become like, to become a friend.

So

this was where it becomes very

difficult

and very

dicey, as they call it.

Well, you could just text him right now and be like, I was just doing that for the show.

I don't know if anybody's gullible with that.

He's gullible.

I don't know if he's.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, he's how, I mean, like,

when he's doing what I want him to do and what I tell him to do, it's amazing.

Like, he's like, you know, we did that thing last week, that special thing.

It's a fucking home run.

That's a lot of that's all him.

So, how can I,

you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, but how can I?

I can't separate this.

All right.

Like,

I got into a fucking

screaming match with one of my castmates two weeks ago.

Like this?

Oh, way worse.

Fucking talking.

I was drinking a mic?

No, no, no.

But it was vicious.

It was like a 10-minute fucking

brawl.

It was me and Q.

It was on an after party.

And I mean, we had the benefit of not talking for like a couple of weeks, but then when I saw him, I was just, we would just like,

I was just like, I shouldn't have talked to you like that.

I don't agree with what you did, but I shouldn't have talked to you like that.

And once that ice is broken, then you could start having the conversation.

So it's like, if you feel you shouldn't have brained your iPad with a microphone.

No, I don't feel.

I'm not, I don't regret that at all.

Oh, well, then that's it.

No, no, no.

No, I'm talking about regrets.

I'm talking about

the responsibility and my friendship

has to

Trump.

Gotta stop saying Trump lately.

Yes, it's enraging people.

Trigger alert.

Shouldn't use that yet.

But, you know, there is.

He's a friend of, he's a friend now, like

all you, Sunday Jeff.

Right.

That's a, that's, I, so I can't do that to him at this point.

I crossed, I fucked, of course.

Of course you can't.

I had like, you can't go back to not being friends after you have sleep with them.

Yeah.

No, I agree with that.

Right.

Now I've done that.

I've done that.

I've fucked.

Yeah, but everybody.

Oh my god, I fucked it up.

But

Everybody's allowed to be fucking ridiculous from time to time.

It's fully ridiculous, though.

Him?

You?

I don't know.

Wait a minute.

I don't think so.

Get the fuck out of here.

No, no, you're saying.

You're saying

you don't want to smash mics and stuff like that.

No, who's that?

He's a friend.

No, no, no, no.

No, I'm saying I don't want to go to that area where

it's better.

It's just nothing, nothing.

It's a little hot.

A little warm in here.

A little warm in here.

I don't want it to get to

that zone where I'm like, I don't want him around or that I don't want him here.

Are you there now?

Well,

when I smashed the mic, I was, but now I'm not.

Okay, so then.

When I told him to get the fuck out, I was.

So we got out.

It'll blow over.

I mean, that's a thing.

It shouldn't, though.

It shouldn't blow over?

Should it blow over?

No, of course it is.

It's taking advantage of me.

Oh, well, you're jumping tracks here.

Are we talking about his bullshit or

you screaming at him?

I don't know if I'm talking about it at all.

Because his is a work issue.

Yours is a friendship issue.

This is the real fucking most legitimate Q's tip session ever.

Go.

All that other bullshit about fucking snapshots of assholes.

Right, yeah.

This is the one where if you can work this out,

let's work on it.

Wait,

are you sure you want to tackle this, Q?

Because we also have a couple who are arguing over who gets the cat in a breakup.

Well, what issue do you want to tackle, him or you?

Can I tell him to come back?

Sure.

He won't come.

No, no, no.

Tell him.

Be like, I need you to come back here.

Yeah, there you go.

There you go.

You got to wear your boss pants, son.

But if he says no,

all right, Chase's leaving.

It's too much made too uncomfortable?

No.

She's kidding.

She's worried on a bit over the.

That was pretty intense for your first time here, though, wasn't it, Ellen?

I know.

Cousin Helen is here.

You know what?

While Walt's doing this, Cousin Helen, come sit down over here.

I want to talk to you about men's underwear.

Let's see.

We got a second Patella in the building.

Right.

Is that your last name, Patella?

Yes.

Oh, wait a second.

Hold on.

Let me get my

old man reading glasses and we'll we'll talk about.

What do you want to talk about?

You want to talk about backblaze?

I don't know what that is.

Hold on a second.

It is, oh, it's like backup memory.

You could talk about Casper mattresses, or we can talk about loot crate.

Ladies' choice.

I feel like I can weigh in on this.

I would hold off on that for a little bit.

I like this can-do attitude.

I like where you're going with it.

I like it.

You know, it's a job problem opposed to this friendship problem, because you're right.

Well, we'll definitely, I think.

I'm about to say we might even talk into it, Cousin Helen.

No, not really.

Okay.

Yeah, we'll get you the way.

And I think we're working towards getting...

Do we need a.

Do we need

a female perspective?

Well, okay, we're going to talk about

for no particular reason, Cousin Helen, not because you're all hot and shit.

Let's talk about mattresses.

Are you looking to update your mattress?

Casper, no, I have updated my mattress with a Casper.

It's pretty sweet, I gotta say.

I've never had anyone complain, mostly because I'm the only one on it, but it's a sleep brand, Casper, that created one perfect mattress, sold directly to consumers, eliminating commission.

Don't you hate the middleman?

Yes.

Fuck the middleman, right?

Casper does not use a middleman.

And

they send you this mattress, right?

I guess it doesn't have springs or something.

It's some kind of

same for everyone, yep.

It's equal opportunity.

It's very diverse, this Casper.

They send it to you in a box, and it says right here.

They're going to be like, how did they do that?

You're going to spend a couple hours on that wondering how they did it.

They deliver shit for free.

100 nights risk-free trial.

What more could you

ask for in a mattress?

100 nights?

Well, how is it?

It's awesome.

Walt owns them.

Cute, do you have any Casper's money?

My parents stole mine, and they sleep on it.

Right.

They stole on it.

Aramatic get him.

I just cut mine up into a little tiny shrimp.

You keep it here

in the basement.

I've turned it into a thousand tiny little

Casper.

Tiny little Caspars.

Helen,

you're a young lass.

You go to a boy's house.

Let's say his name is Brian Johnson, just for this.

And you see his mattress, and it's just like a ratty

china.

Yeah, the spring sticking out of it looks like she, you're like, this isn't this fool.

I'm not getting on that.

And he's like, come here, lover.

Right.

Is that accurate to say?

You just described my boyfriend's bed.

Okay.

Well,

wouldn't it be better if you walked in there with nice, crisp, clean sheets on a nice foam mattress?

Wouldn't that be awesome?

A premium mattress.

Like, say he was a smart consumer.

He got it online at casper.com/slash T-E-S-D.

And, you know, you just show up, and there it is.

And he's like, let's get busy.

And you're like, let's, because your fucking mattress isn't gross anymore.

Right.

Or

are you the kind of girl that's willing to settle for some old mattress that I'm assuming he found on the side of the road when some like ghetto ass family was moving?

Yeah.

And he's like,

or

there was a crime in the house and the mattress just got thrown out.

Right.

Or

flip it, there's blood stains on it.

Exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

It's part of a crime scene, your boyfriend's mattress.

And I think he should,

I think for a lady of your stature, he should upgrade with casper.com slash T S T I'm not make sure he uses the code yeah if he doesn't use the code that means he's not you know he's not frugal

real customers now you may you may not know this but

we got to go back to Walt Baloozo yeah they said it's like sleeping on a brioche and like being why the fuck what's a brioche I don't it's a bun isn't it like a bun isn't like a it's like like an onion leaping on bread onion bun well the next one's even more ridiculous like being cradled by the tinkling of baby laughter in the moodlight.

First off, who doesn't associate tinkling with pissing?

Babies laugh?

Everyone.

No.

Yeah, they don't.

Babies laugh.

Do they, really?

It's horrific.

The sound of a baby laughing is like yells on a chalkboard.

Oh, it is.

When a baby laughs for no reason, it's like you think possession.

Right.

Oh, shit.

Ready to be like, get the fuck out of here.

Like, if you heard a baby laughing in the middle of the night,

you'd be terrified.

Yeah, I'm going to stain my Casper.

Especially if you don't have a baby.

It's doubly terrifying.

It's easy.

You order online.

It's delivered to your door free shipping and free returns available in the u.s canada the uk and staten island if that's where you live uh cousin helen where you live florida no i mean your exact street address where you live um considering we spend one-third of our lives on a mattress it's so important to truly sleep on a mattress before committing you're gonna get fifty dollars off any mattress by uh visiting kesper.com slash tesd use that promo code or tell your boyfriend uh what part of florida san augustine where's that west coast east coast it's the oldest city in america oh Oh, is that where the Fountain of Youth is and shit?

Yes.

Okay.

Is that where they pump out these patellas?

I guess so.

What the fuck is going on?

Yeah, they look real young.

They're all fucking sweet.

They're willing to accept subpar mattresses.

Yeah, yeah.

They don't even care about mattresses.

They don't know.

See, that's a thing.

Like, you look at these patellas and they don't even know what they got.

They own a mirror, but they still don't get it.

That they don't have to sleep on a stained old mattress that looks like it came from the homeless.

Well, I can't figure out what mattress Stacey will sleep on.

I'm going to go.

No, it's not mine.

I know it's what she won't.

But there you go.

Four out of eight start.

I can't believe we're still talking about Casper.

It's changing the way people shop for mattresses.

It's racked up recognition.

Time magazine fucking gave it a bunch of awards and shit.

$50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting Casper.com/slash T-E-S D.

Just use that promo code or tell your boyfriend.

And if he doesn't do it, then I would say that he assaulted me and call the cops.

Okay, they're reasonable.

Reasonable.

Yes, absolutely.

Thank you, Cousin Helen

for that.

Let's get back to Walt.

Did you get him answer?

Oh, if he doesn't answer, if he's ghosting you, somehow.

You're getting ghosted.

Oof.

Did you just motion for her to come over?

I was going to say, oh, that hasn't happened in years.

Get away from that man

before it's too late.

Okay, so

back to Walt and how you're going to be able to

predicament with this Giddem character.

Well, what is the what do you want to work on?

The friendship angle or the work angle?

Both.

First, I guess.

What topic do we want to tackle first?

Do you do am I wrong to feel

that

do you like should I am I wrong to feel that I should expect more and I should that I have a right to be disappointed?

No, you're not wrong.

I think he takes advantage of his

His

show involvement.

I think he blurs the lines

Well, look the rub and thick of the stash

Even if you hadn't

raised him from nothing

even if you hadn't you guys hated him hated his guts.

Couldn't stand them.

Hated him.

I thought he fucked us over, stabbed us in the back.

And you accepted him, but solely because I

vouched for it.

I took a

shine.

Pity.

I was amused by him, and I thought there was more.

I thought there was more to

what, you know, more beneath the surface than what we appeared to be.

And I think i was right

oh sure i love the guy now i consider him a friend but he's i don't think am i wall's like well i hate him but am i right like yeah i don't think a friend should act that way i think a friend like should um

well just well it's so passive aggressive the way in which he approached it he's like but i go yielded for that too right wall right it's like a very passive aggressive approach uh to take when dealing with a friend.

Well, you shouldn't even fucking...

Look, it's wrong on two levels.

You shouldn't talk to your boss that way, unless unless you don't give a shit about your job and having it.

You definitely shouldn't talk to your friend that way, who is your boss.

Like, it's but I yet I talk to him in a way that is not a friend way at times.

Yeah, but he fucking took the job knowing that you were going to talk to him like that.

Like, there's no fucking

doubt.

But the thing is, I think I show a much more care and concern and generosity in the relationship, and it still doesn't, um,

and it's

I feel,

again, I guess taken advantage of in a way that

there should be more,

I should be getting more out of the relationship.

A little more reciprocation.

Well, as a baseline, you should even just be getting like a fucking normal respect sort of fucking thing.

But yeah, getting more would be nice.

Don't you hate it when strangers treat you better than the people close to you that you feel should treat you well?

Does that happen yet?

Of course it does.

All the time, every day.

Because I feel like

maybe it sets the stage for a reality that

isn't sustainable, but when you're on a TV show and you meet people who know you from that show or whatever, they automatically want to be nice to you.

Unless they don't like you, then they go to Reddit.

But in real life, most people seem happy to be around you, which is not the case in

personal life.

Well, that's not real anyway.

That's what I mean.

Yeah, there's nothing real there.

I thought you just meant like when you go to like order your food, you know, the person's nice to you at the counter.

No, not necessarily.

Usually, I mean, was they ever get them working there fucking yelling at you?

Well, no, not yelling, but I think most people are like

I would have to think most people don't want to do their job.

They're like, I'd rather be somewhere else.

No, I don't think I don't.

I think you're 100% right.

Right.

I'd rather be somewhere else right now.

But way back back when, like after Mark died and that position opened up, somebody in the office asked me if I'd be interested and Waltz had even considered me for like a moment.

But even if he had, I would be like, I'm not the right guy for this job.

I will 100% let him down.

I don't want to do it.

I also know my limitations with people big time.

Like I went to my shrink when I lived in LA and I went to my shrink and I'm fucking going nuts because I hate working at the store.

I hate dealing with the people.

And she's like, well, why do you work in retail?

I'm like, well, that's the job I have.

And she's like, and you think you're built for that job?

She's like, you'll never like it.

She's like, you'll only just hate it more.

So dealing with people is not like, you know,

on that level, like a customer service level where you have to be, you have to care.

You have to give a fuck.

Or be able to fake it.

Yeah, but how long can you do that for?

Oh, I don't know.

It looks like 20 years, maybe the ceiling.

Yeah, and that's what I'm wondering.

Is it like, I feel, like you said,

you're seeing me try to

get out of dealing with people.

Well, the show isn't helping.

No, that's definitely not helping.

No, it's definitely a big reason why.

Because even like I've been like, even dealing with the crew who you guys are.

Yeah, actually,

it's the first time

in the time.

Like, I'm like, why did did it take me so long to realize that I like these guys?

To warm up to them?

Yeah.

Why did it take seven years?

Mom was like, wait,

he didn't like me last year?

But why did it take me so long?

I don't know.

I mean, so maybe it's me.

Maybe it's not Giddem.

I don't know.

I find that, like, I've liked these guys for a while, but it's like to truly bond with someone in a way that there's a lasting friendship, For me, it doesn't happen that often.

And it's probably shit that goes back to when you were a fucking baby and you don't even remember it or whatever, right?

Like, there were certain moments that were instrumental in forming who you were, and like somewhere along the line,

something happened where you're like, it's difficult to like, I don't make a ton of new friends either.

Like, friends, friends, almost never.

Like, I think Troy was the last one, right?

Right.

So it could be something like that.

You know, the

all kidding aside, like if someone, if you got not Dr.

Giddem, but like a regular battery of tests and you're like, yeah, it turns out like I'm on the spectrum one way.

I wouldn't be stunned.

You're super creative.

You're artistic, any of that.

But

if that's one of the hallmarks of that

disorder, whatever you want to call it,

is

the withdrawal from social

interactions, then it's kind of, it's no one's fault, really.

Yeah, but I think in the summertime, though, they're forcing me daily to

go against

my comfort zone.

Your nature.

Well, your nature.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you're getting paid for it.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

It's not like

somewhere a child slave is like, oh, forced.

You're forced to be on TV, are you?

Yeah, and really, like, you could not do it.

I know.

Yeah, you're right.

I could.

I think you feel a certain, I think in a perfect world, he'd be like, I'm not doing this anymore.

But he feels a certain responsibility

to everyone.

Because, like, think about how many people the show employs, the crew, his friends,

there have been times, many times, during the winter, I would tell, you know, if not for my loyalty and my responsibility to, you know, certain people,

I would be like, I don't want to do it no more.

Tom Mom's like, me, I hope.

Yeah, no, I felt that way for a while, that you're doing it for not necessarily.

Yeah, I'm not saying like, give me a medal or anything, because like you said, I'm getting paid, but

it begins to wear on me and in the summertime and then I take it out on you know and then you Q comes down I feel guilty because you come down

and I'm like I don't want to it feels like I want to leave

so like you take it doesn't feel like it you said it

you informed in a pretty straightforward manner that you want to leave

no but that should never that shouldn't well you're taking a trip down you know you're fucking way busier than I am and you're coming down here to do it and I'm like oh okay how much time we got left let's do this I want to get out of here that's the beauty of being a good friend, though.

It's like you can tell that person exactly how you feel, and then that person's like, okay, I understand.

I have never once had the thought of this.

Like, how could he be saying that?

Like, I drive all the way down here.

But I'm just saying, but I do feel like I feel like

I get annoyed at myself, though, for doing that.

So I definitely didn't want to do that again this week.

And lo and behold,

I was doing it.

Yeah,

you know, circumstances.

I don't want to say beyond your control because you hired the guy,

but he's what set you off today.

Really?

Like when I first came in.

That's the other thing.

Your sleep schedule is off.

Like I come in, and I'm always like Ann Relly, and he's, you know, Walt usually comes in like 10:45, 11, whatever, and

he's here every day.

Yeah, something could be wrong because I'm waking up at like 6 in the morning.

Oh, usually you don't even go to bed till like 3.30.

I'm going to bed at like 2, 2.30.

I'm waking up at 6, and I'm not tired.

Oh, that's not good.

So I don't know what's going on.

This is like a.

I've been slipping you out a roll.

Is this like going through changes?

Oh, yeah, maybe you're in menopause, right?

The men have changes, don't they?

Yeah, they do.

Yeah, what happens to men?

Do you guys know?

Like, what's the male equivalent of menopause?

A menopause.

Nice.

I like it.

Nobody steal that.

Yeah, there's got to be.

Yeah, why do they call it menopause?

Because it does sound very manly.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm going to Google this.

Probably because it's related to the menstrual cycle.

But you know, like, you know,

like I said, there's a responsibility now.

Which I still don't know what that is.

Responsibility?

No,

the menstrual cycle.

But you were talking about you had a blow-up and you guys patched it up?

We patched it up.

We usually have one a year.

But you guys are almost like in, you're not in the same,

like,

like, I wish that we were more on a same level.

And it can't be.

I wish I made a practical joker, Monty.

No, no, no, no, no, fucking you.

I'm saying.

Like, you guys, when you have a blow-up, out of your friend, you're on the same level.

Sure.

Right.

I hear it.

There's no power dynamic in there.

Yeah, but I hate that.

I hate that.

I hate that that's part of the mix, though.

Yeah, but

I feel like I don't want to abuse that.

Well, on the work side, there is, but on the friendship side, there's not.

But I think I can't, now I'm blurring.

Like I said, I can't stop blurring the lines between work and friendship because I want to be like, if he wasn't my friend, I'd be like,

it's not working out.

You're making more

problems for me than not.

Right.

But then I look back and I'm like, but all the fun times I have with him, though, when he's here, though.

But have you just said that to him?

Have you put it that straightforward and not in a jokey manner and just be like,

because a lot of times when we rag on him for the fucking shit he does around here, it does come off like a bit.

You know what I'm saying?

Right.

Because we turn him into a bit.

Right.

So like maybe if you just were like, look, like, I'm dead serious.

Like, I need, like, you're driving me fucking crazy, buddy, and I don't want you to.

Like, we need, you know, we need to fucking

adjust.

I think I've already had this.

I've had this conversation where I was just like, you need to stop trying to show me you're smart.

That I like because I'm constantly brought into the conversation.

I don't need to hear, like, why, why you're doing the things you do, like, some sort of like.

Back it up with some sort of like facts or figures or reasoning.

It's just

I don't want to hear it.

There's no need.

There's no need to explain it.

No matter how much you explain it, it's not going to change the fact that it's not going to be a matter of doing it.

But

you're talking about something that's not in response to what you're saying to him.

Like he shouldn't, the conversation that you have with him shouldn't lead to him giving you excuses.

Like it needs to lead to him being like, this is just shit that I'm not doing right.

I have to fix it.

Not this is why I think I'm doing it right.

That's what he's got to get across in his head.

Well, that's something that you've mentioned in the past, that there is always a reason, excuse, denial of accountability, passing on.

Oh, he just did it, whatever.

He just did it.

I get yelled at when I close it when I don't let people in.

Right.

He's like, it was 5.58.

I shouldn't have let people in.

But

he just did it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's one of those things.

Like, my mother is one of these types of people to this day, 72.

Never wrong.

Never wrong about anything.

If you're like, you're wrong, she takes it as a personal attack.

She'll cry, whatever.

And there was a stretch where, like, when I was younger, not even realizing it, that like I was that way too.

And Walt brought it up one day, years ago, and it meant something to me.

And I was like,

I wasn't paying attention.

I was thinking about smashing microphones.

I felt alive.

Something about your mom.

My mother.

Yeah, it's not important.

You know, saying that, um, saying that my mother, like to this day, will never admit she's wrong about anything.

And for there was a stretch where like I was that way too.

And like, you know, like, well, this is why or this is why.

And you brought it up one time, and I respect your opinion.

And I stepped back and assessed it.

And I was like, yeah, I do.

I do that.

I do do that.

Like, these personality quirks and flaws that people have that they don't even realize until

they become aware of themselves or someone else makes them aware of it, and then where you go from there is kind of up to you.

Personally, I was like, Yeah, he's right.

I do that.

Like, you try to argue your way out of being wrong in any situation for whatever reason, you know, like it's an ego thing or whatever, but it's probably a defensive thing.

Yeah, defense mechanism.

But when he said it, hey,

I assessed it, and I like you work on it, you know?

That's weird because my now I'm wrong all the time.

My thing with you has always been you're just like, I'm wrong.

Yeah,

that was probably before we started hanging out.

Like 20 years ago, became friends.

Well, it must have told me like 19 years ago.

Yeah.

Or like 21 years ago.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm wrong all the time about shit.

Right.

And I'm not saying I'm even, I'm not saying I'm right.

Maybe I'm the one that's wrong.

Maybe I'm dealing with them wrong.

But this is your store.

You run it.

Maybe people who work

for you.

But that's not for Gidem to decide.

That's for Kevin Smith to decide.

That's not for Gidem to decide.

No, no, no.

Or if you want to talk about business,

that's for the bottom line to decide.

Maybe I just, maybe I've run the,

I don't have it, you know, it's like coach.

Like, he coached and he coached the team too long

and then he's lost the team.

They're not listening to him anymore.

Or do you think you have the coach in you?

When I was managing West Coast Dash, I never wanted to tell people what to do.

I just wanted them to do it.

I never enjoyed being like, hey, you do this.

Because you just want shit to move like go smoothly and you want people to be aware enough to be like, oh, okay, that needs restocking, or I got to put more shirts.

It never happens.

And that's the guy who kicked it at the high gear.

Yeah.

They had to get rid of Q.

He was in no gear.

My first executive move was to immediately try to bring him back.

I see him and Mike bonding.

Bonding.

Yeah, oh, really?

And I think, you know, maybe if I stepped aside and I focus on a new venture in my life,

it would be better here.

What these two retards have at it.

Yeah.

I don't know what I would do, but.

I mean,

that sounds extreme.

Well, it's not just that, though.

I don't know.

I just, you know, is it just a long time, man, doing the same thing?

Yeah, but I don't think anybody would fault you for being like, I just want to do something different.

Wait a second.

I think we're in a watershed moment where you're about to say, I'm right for going lily pad, lily pad, lily pad, never committing to anything.

Yeah, I mean,

it's taken 20 years off.

So that's a better idea.

Because I'm not saying,

because it's not like

if he wasn't here,

would I be like 100% satisfied?

I don't think so.

Here's the thing, okay?

You manage a comic book store.

I think you do it well.

From an outsider's perspective, I think you're too intelligent to keep doing the same mundane bullshit day after day.

And that's what it is.

It's a grind.

It's a rut.

And you say you like that.

But

like, Let's say that you know you were drawing every day, or you are working on a game show every day, or something, something creative.

And this job is not creative, it's not like fulfilling in that respect.

So, I think you're too intelligent for the job, to tell you the truth, for this long, anyway.

You know,

well, that's it's a good job, and it's a

I wasn't thinking about leaving and going and drawing.

I was like

I was looking at like a target or something Well, perfect downgrade.

That's not even lateral.

But at least I was like, no, like somebody be telling me what to do, and

I won't have to worry about what everybody else is doing.

I'll just have

my own little section of the store.

This grape jelly is mine.

You know, and

I could just focus on that and just come and go.

Then you're running out your life's clock.

Like, who the fuck wants to do that?

Yeah.

Like, who, like, I get it.

It's like, I always said if I was going to work in a mall, I'd want to be one of the janitors because no one ever seems to be bossing them around.

Like, they got their broom, they're sweeping up the food court, whatever.

They're just doing their own thing.

But ultimately, it's like, how long can you do that before you're like, fuck this shit?

And you can have a job where, like, nobody's telling you what to do.

But, um,

no one is telling me what to do.

No one's telling me what to do.

That's the weird thing.

No one's telling me what to do.

It's just like, I'm just.

That's heaven to me.

Like, I don't

want to be by myself.

Right.

It's not going to happen in Target.

No.

Because somebody's going to come up and be like, excuse me, sir.

Like, where do you keep blah, blah, blah?

And then you're like, fuck, man, I'm the grape jelly guy.

What are you asking me for?

Well, initially, it'll be different, though.

So it'll be exciting to have a new thing to learn or something.

I thought, girls, check out my new vest.

I cannot imagine you, because I've gone into Target and Walmart very early, and they have those rallies like, Walmart, Walmart.

and the same, it's very similar in Target.

Like, you're going to be in that.

You're going to put your hand in and be like, Target.

It would be interesting as fuck.

It's like an

undercover expose, yeah, not from wearing your blazer.

No, I just think it would be, it'd just be a different, just a different, something different.

From a sociological standpoint, yes, you'd be like, wow, what a bunch of fuck-ups.

Why would you say that over

something creative?

Like, why would you be like, let me just fucking go in reverse?

Why wouldn't you be like, all right, well, let's.

I don't know if I can provide for my family being creative.

Well, I'll tell you what.

It ain't going to happen working at Target.

I see guys in there that are my age.

They must have families.

So they must be able

to make it work.

At your current standard of living, do you think?

I mean,

if I were to go in half, I would be fine.

If I go in a third, it would be fine.

We could still make it work.

We're not spending crazy money.

No, I'm not saying that, but like when you're taking a break.

I don't have a lifestyle.

Oh, I won't be able to, what?

What will I won't be able to do?

Eat out seven days a week, probably.

Unless you're eating at the fucking Target Cafe.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, but so I can't go out to eat seven nights a week, but

will I be less taxed?

I don't know.

Dude, you're having like a reverse midlife crisis.

Yeah, you should be buying a Corvette, not thinking about getting a shittier job.

Do you want to hear a little about malmenopause?

We'll check it out.

Is there such a thing?

There is.

I must be going through it.

We're going to look.

So it's called andropause.

It describes a drop in testosterone levels that many men experience when they get older.

How old is older?

It says older.

What are some of the symptoms?

It can cause many symptoms.

For example, example, it can cause depression, reduced muscle mass, increased body fat.

Increased?

Increased body fat and erectile dysfunction.

Oh, that ain't happening, bro.

I know.

Like, Walt's address is boner city.

One boner lane.

At least I know.

You can scratch that off the list.

And I don't have andropause.

You don't got that, right?

Maybe you're depressed, man.

Maybe you got like a slight depression going on.

You may be melancholy.

You think so?

I never, I've never, I'd ever

known to myself.

I would tell people I've never been to the person.

I'd be like, I don't know what depressed feels.

Well, here's the thing.

You're talking about like, you're saying things about yourself that, like, I, I, you know, what's wrong with me that I took me seven seasons to like these people when it's just like there's nothing wrong with you.

They're unlikable.

No, no, no.

It took me seven.

Like, why?

Because they're, because I see now that they're

really likable dudes.

Yeah, but you taking seven years to see that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

Like, Like, that's just your process.

It didn't take Mike and Ming that long.

Ming is going to suck any cop that comes his way.

He's a Labrador puppy, man.

He loves everybody, that guy.

Like, somebody being like, hey, Walt likes me, is way more meaningful than being like, you know, Ming likes a guy he accidentally bumps into, or the barista at the coffee shop, or the fucking whoever.

Somebody who fucking liked his Instagram photo that he's never met.

Yeah, you got to.

Isn't it just a mistake?

So So,

what would you point to that depressed?

What are the signs of that?

It's not

a problem.

Is it a lack of erections?

Well, no,

let me just reinforce that.

That is not a problem.

I wore my Casper the fuck out.

You can text my wife right now.

No, no, I don't need to.

I trust her.

Well, fuck you.

I'll put her on speaker.

Let's get her on.

First time on Tom Canyon.

I mean, what a way to go.

I'm in.

That would be amazing.

But, like, you're because you're not even giving yourself credit for what we shot something last week.

Right.

And it was fucking amazing.

It was unbelievable.

And it was nuanced, and it was detailed, and it was fucking funny, and it was complicated, a lot of moving parts, and you pulled it all together.

Fretting the whole time.

I went through the experience with him fretting, like thinking about it all the time, going through red lights.

Yeah, yeah.

Walking out of grocery stores without fucking it.

I went into a grocery store to buy some product for the special event we had.

Yeah.

Some food that we needed to have.

Well, I won't give any spoilers away.

I walked in, since I'm getting up at 6 a.m., I was like, oh, I guess I'll go to the grocery store now, you know, rather than after work.

I walked in, got the stuff I needed, and I walked out the front door without paying for it.

Jeez.

Did you load it up into your away bag?

I mean, is that strange?

I've been wondering if you're not going to be able to do that.

I'm going through a red light.

It's not usual for you.

Yeah, I'm going through a red light.

I'm stopping in the middle of a red light because I'm like, oh my shit, that was a red light.

Because I'm so

deep in thought, but I'm not really thinking of anything significant, though.

Thinking about fucking nonsense.

I disagree.

What we did last week is significant to you.

Whereas, like, the shit man.

It's important to us and to everybody that listens, it's going to be significant to everybody that listens to the show.

Yeah, it's definitely not insignificant, and that you're that deep in thought and

giving it that much credence

shows like it is important.

It's important.

Oh, yeah, it was important.

But I don't know that that, but that's not a job, though.

That's not a job.

That's like, yeah, we can make a little bit of extra coin on it, but it's not a job where

I can say that this is my job.

Yeah, but if you were to devote it to me.

Wait a second.

Just one second.

Go ahead.

This isn't a job, but Target would be.

I guarantee I would bet my life that you make more on television

than fucking Target.

But it's not a legitimate job.

That's more of a job.

It's a job, though.

Well,

you're defining it that way.

Yeah, because it's not 40 hours a week or whatever.

Like, you're defining it that way.

And the other thing is, like, I know there's a, we always feel that way where we're like, don't tell me it's not a job.

Please.

You know, we always, we always try and be like, we don't want to bang the ants over the head.

We don't want to take their money.

And

I think we've been great about that over the years.

It's going to be a rough episode to keep to keep that foot up.

No, but it's like when we announce what we're doing.

But you're not talking about it.

Like, we do things that we're excited about.

And if they're not, if the ants aren't excited, so it's not a, we've never done a money grab.

Like, so it's like, if we're excited about it and that gets the ants excited about it, then that's the relationship we have with them.

Like, that's what, like, what are we doing?

Like, and we've met with people that are like, you should charge for this, and have you considered charging for that?

And we're like, no, we don't want to do that.

Right.

We don't want to charge this or that or sell this or that.

It's bullshit.

And we don't want to.

Because I know as like there are things that I like, and as a fan of those things,

I wouldn't want to constantly be pounded with money grab shit.

So

that's one of the reasons that I'm like, well, this is not worthy of it.

These are

that excites all three of us, and we're like, that would be so cool to have and to make.

And

we may have that.

And there are people, like a couple of people said it yesterday.

They're like, your audience

is so loyal and rabid.

And I think it is because it's like

because

we haven't done that.

Because I know that would turn me off to something.

And because we haven't been like, hey, buy this or buy that.

It's only stuff that you're passionate about.

So you respect

the listener base, I think.

There's a pocket.

You're a pocketbook.

Respect them, respect their money.

Yeah.

That's Sunday Jeff.

Right again.

So it's like, so you, like, let's say, and I and I know you're not well, whatever, but like to say, like, all right, so let's figure out a way to make TelemSteve Dave a full-time job for you, it's not, that's not said like, let's find a way to fucking rip the ants off.

It's like, it's like, let's find a way to do it within the fucking rules that we've done it.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Like, why, why not?

It does feel like, though, the first time I feel

I feel upset, though, and I'm like, well, I don't want to do this anymore.

The first thing I gravitate towards, or the first

safety line, or what's it called the first thing I go is well how can I get the ants to pay you how can I get more money out of these cunts

that's not that's but that's not what that's not what are you kidding me dude if I was a fucking if I was at home listening and I was an ant and I guarantee you're gonna get emails about it we're gonna get texts about it people are gonna be like if if there was more quality Tell him Steve Dave, like they would not be unhappy.

You know what I mean?

Like they wouldn't be like, they wouldn't be like, well, no, that's not fucking what we want.

We want to.

But, you know, that they are grown accustomed to free Telham Steve.

But they're never not going to get free Telen Steve Dave.

Yeah.

Yeah, that will always happen.

I don't even know.

You know what?

It's something that, like, right now I'm upset, but I'm sure by tomorrow

I'll have gotten over it.

Yeah, but the thing about

it.

That's what I'm hoping.

And I also think that you've got to...

You're very hard on yourself and you're not giving yourself enough.

I think I'm hard on him, too, though.

Well, fuck him.

I'm talking about you.

I'm saying you're very hard on yourself and you are not giving yourself enough credit.

So those two are so out of balance right now.

The fucking what you did last week, you should be riding high right now.

And like you're fucking very hard on yourself for walking out without paying things when you lost and thought.

You're overworked right now.

You're doing shit that doesn't naturally come to you.

You're doing it well.

You have the responsibility you said about the crew.

You want to do a good job for Kevin.

You want to do, like, you're not.

And you are doing it, but you're not giving yourself credit for it.

So it's like, you've got to find a way to make those adjustments to be like, it's okay that I look at it and be like, I am doing a good job here.

And this isn't as bad as it seems.

Running through red lights, I mean, how many fucking red lights do I go through in a week?

On purpose?

I was, yes, I was in a car with him the other day.

It was three, and we only drove like two miles.

So it's like, it's like, you know, you got to forgive yourself.

Nobody's died.

So you just got to be kinder to yourself, man.

Like, you just got to work on being a little bit nicer to yourself.

How do I, yeah?

It's not easy.

But what does that mean, though?

What does that, you know, like, I understand, like, I appreciate it because

you're being very

supportive and very

generous with your kind words, but how does it, how does one really do that, though?

It's, it's, for me, it's almost, it's literally talking to myself.

Did you come to this point?

Oh, this is 10 years of therapy we're talking about right here.

Really?

This is 10 years of therapy.

Someone relayed this message to you?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And did it work for you?

Yeah.

I mean, you saw me fucking five years ago.

Yeah.

You know, you see me now.

I mean, I'm so happy now.

It's like, and it comes from that thing of just like, you have to forgive yourself.

You know what I mean?

Like,

you're here saying you're too hard on Getham.

It's like, great, forget, get him, but like, you got to forgive yourself too.

You know what I mean?

Because Gidham

was demonstrably wrong.

Like,

he shouldn't be given any quarter in this situation because not only did he do something.

But I don't know, but

handling it is everything, though, isn't it?

Properly.

Okay, so even if you didn't handle it like you think you should have,

so you didn't accept it and then fucking be like, all right, well, what can I change?

What could I learn?

Like, it's not a matter of like, I'm a dick because I fucking slammed the microphone and yelled again.

It's like, you did it.

People do that shit all the time.

It's exactly what you're talking about.

Yeah, it's like, cut yourself a little slack and be like, and just be like, look, I didn't react the way I wanted to react, but at the same time, it's like there was a bunch of, yeah, it's not like out of nowhere, like he was like, he didn't put one pop back and you're fucking or slamming shit around.

It was like, you know, a buildup from at least this morning, as far as I could tell.

You know, and like you're talking about earlier, you said, like, you don't want to be putting me in a position to defend him, like you said, with the old girlfriend.

But, like, we were talking about last week's thing.

Yeah.

He played a very gigantic role in making what we did last week,

in your words,

cool and fun and everything.

He played a gigantic role.

We're not talking about that.

We're talking about his work ethic in the store.

Yeah, it doesn't negate what he does here.

Right.

But

he needs this, though.

He needs this job.

Well, of course, but you're not talking about firing him.

No, but it can put that heart to heart.

But if I continue feeling this way, though,

I don't think it's going to end well.

Do you think you can you have a one-on-one conversation with him?

I've had him, though.

I've had them.

And I think that like, and I think, like, you know what I also expect?

I expect just normal, like,

I fucked up.

I'm not going to do that again.

And it just never comes.

Yeah,

that's a result of his condition, right?

That would just, I think that would just be everything, though.

But then that excuses it away if it's like, oh, well, it's his condition.

No, no, no, no.

It just gives you the parameters of what you have to work with him.

Like, not not saying you can't

get him to the point where understanding how important that is to you, that he says that every once in a while.

You know what I mean?

He's not a fucking android.

He's also a person as fucked up as he is.

So it's like, if he knows that that would help and that would be important to you, I mean, he's not.

I don't know.

But at times, like, I don't.

I feel at times, like, not you guys, but like, there's like this disconnect, though, of people's what I expect emotions out of them, and I don't see it a lot.

Like that, also, like, especially from Giddam, there's like not the proper

response emotionally for things that are going on.

Well, people aren't giving you the responses that you think they should have.

Yeah, that's that's somebody would tell a therapist would say, Well, that's on you.

Yeah, you can't,

you can't, you know what I mean?

You can't force them to feel

what I would want them to feel, right?

Right, right.

And if who they are impedes on your life to a point where you're fucking smashing iPads and shit on the reg, then you have to

then sort of take a step back and be like, all right, well, now how do I handle it?

I've had the conversation.

What do you do next?

We talked to someone, Q and I went out to dinner last night.

We talked to someone who

was involved in a business venture and they

unceremoniously parted ways with their business partners

on a scale that's like fucking crazy.

And it's the same here.

It's like at a certain point you're just like, there's friendship and there's business.

And at a certain point, you're like, I got to do what I got to do.

But this would be like akin to like.

You leaving it and working to Target ain't the answer.

No, but

I'm not saying that, like I said, but I felt this kind of like

edginess before today.

Right.

I think you've seen it.

Oh, absolutely.

But

it culminated today with.

But this would be akin to if Sunday Jeff did something

and

I would be like,

I couldn't say I can't have you here no more.

That's the kind of, that's how much

I consider him that close a friend now.

I don't know if he does, but at times I wonder if he considers me that close a friend.

Because if I felt if he did, he wouldn't act that way.

Right.

But then you're saying that's up me, though.

No, I mean, I think that

I'm expecting something.

I'm expecting a level of emotional.

Well, people also have to treat you well, or else you're just in an abusive relationship.

You know what I mean?

Like, he doesn't get a pass on everything.

But you have to be aware of his limitations.

But, like,

there you go.

You know?

That's the key.

But at the same time, you can't fall prey to those limitations

to a point where you are.

You're basically an abusive relationship because you're like, I want, like, this is, it's a place of business.

This is what I need done.

This is the manner in which I need it.

It's a little out of proportion, what happened, though.

But it's not, it wasn't just that.

That's the thing.

It's a bunch of shit.

Like, this is certainly not something that would garner a terminal.

Yeah, but the thing that set you off is the thing that fucking is.

We're not talking about him screaming about a store.

We're talking about him standing there being like, well, I would have closed the store, but I got fucking told not to do it.

That's what set you off because it's exactly that.

Him not fucking copping up to what his issues are.

I fucked up.

I'm sorry.

I won't do it again.

That's what set you off.

And it would have fucking neutralized everything.

Everything.

So it's like,

you know,

that's another approach with him, another tact you got to have.

Hopefully, he fucking listens to this episode.

Oh, you don't think he will?

I believe he will.

He didn't answer you?

No, he never did.

He may not come back.

He'll come back.

Tomorrow.

I would be floored if he didn't come back.

I would be shocked.

You know,

is that in his mind a termination?

That?

Get the fuck out of here?

No.

No way.

The guy fucking got yelling

Okay, let's say, well, my old boss, Timmy, said that to me.

You think I'd go back the next day?

Yeah, probably not, I guess.

The difference is Geddam's used to people talking to him like that.

Every job he's at, he's fucking doing the cop shit where he's fucking dancing in the street, and they're like, hey, asshole, stop.

You know what I mean?

Like, he brings it on himself to a certain degree.

So,

you know, I mean, I just wish that him, along with other people in my life, just would, like,

do you don't need to talk all the time?

You don't need to tell jokes all the time.

There's just a time to just

think, too, like, you're also under a lot of stress right now, and I think you're just out of whack.

Yeah, I'm out of whack.

I don't want to say stress.

I think there's people who are under real stress, and that's not me.

No, no, no.

Don't discount your stress.

Why?

Don't do that to yourself.

Because

there are people who are dealing with real crises.

Okay, so but that's real things to stress.

Yeah, but all right, but listen to what you're doing.

But it doesn't matter.

You're discounting your own internal pain, for lack of a better word.

And why are you doing that?

Like, don't do that to yourself.

You are making, you, you're, you're delegitimizing your own problems.

So now here's your problem now, Walt.

Now you have the original issue, and then you voluntarily have added on top of that that you're an asshole for even fucking having the stress of that issue because other people have it worse.

It's just like you've just doubled your problems by thinking that way.

He really could do this for a living.

Like, don't do it.

It's all summed up.

Remember what I said many years ago?

It's like I said to my shrink, like, look, just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean I don't have it bad.

And on a lesser scale, it's like, okay, so you don't have the stress of like an ER fucking business.

But there are people listening who are dealing with like, you know, sick children, sick parents,

paying bills week to week.

But there's not

a finite bucket of pain, Walt, that everybody could pull out of.

And everybody, he gets this share, you get this share.

Like, it's your life, man.

It's like, it's causing you stress and pain.

So it's like, fucking accept that.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Don't feel like an asshole because your problem is a fucking mongoloid in a goddamn comic book store.

Like you still have, like, that's.

It's running wild.

Yeah, like, you have to.

I want, like, to strip it down.

The politically correct.

I don't know.

I'll FCH.

When you strip it down, and I always hope that, you know, if there was listeners who said that I was mean to him

when we did that thing, who

we had to, like, we couldn't release the episode because there was not 12 minutes of content between the end of the episode and the day.

We did this little thing where I did 12 minutes with Giddam, and I was just busting his chops any way I would with Sunday Jack or Rye or you.

And they were like, oh, that came across as mean.

And at times, I'm just like, wow, people think I'm being mean to the guy when, like, I thought I was changing his life.

Some people think that you're being mean to him.

Yes.

And you absolutely changed his life.

There's nothing.

For the better, though.

I gave him an opportunity to work

all year round, not just a seasonal job,

at a better pay rate where I thought he would have fun.

Let me ask you a question.

Has he ever once cleaned up horseshoe here?

No.

Because if not, the job is better.

No feces

of any kind.

Yes.

So I thought I was

doing like this.

You know, I like him.

I thought I would enjoy having around.

I thought he would like it here.

He does.

Well, then I would ex then I would, that's when it comes down to it.

Well, then I would expect a better response.

Like, you can fuck up.

You can fuck up.

Oh, he's going to fuck up.

But you've got to be able to, but you've got to then say, like,

I fucked up.

I won't do that again.

And at the same time, I'm sure you feel like, like, appreciate me, motherfucker.

Appreciate me by

saying, like, I fucked up.

Like that, it would go, it would go so far if you would just say that.

Just like that.

And, you know, it's not like what he helped me with last week.

I compensated him for doing it well.

Right, good.

You know,

I did.

So it's not like I.

That's going out of your ass.

But yeah, good.

I don't think I've ever taken ever taking advantage of him.

I'm only offering him more.

Opportunities and shit.

Right.

Because he's my friend, because I enjoy his humor.

I enjoy his personality.

But the only reason.

If you're even saying this stuff, and the only reason all this is in question is because of his behavior.

So it's got nothing to do with it.

But I'm sure if he was here, he would disagree, though.

Of course,

he would have a different point of view than you're, because you're not really.

Okay, that's fine, though, buddy.

But all that means is just like if you're not 100% correct and he's not 100% correct, is that the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

And it's like,

it can't be that hard to find the middle of it.

It shouldn't be, right?

That's what I keep having.

That's why I'm like, this can't be that hard.

This should be so fucking easy.

This should just be like a Petri dish of ideas for Tome Steve, Dave.

Oh, it is.

Don't worry.

I mean, we've been talking for an hour and 17 minutes about this Petri dish.

But like, I'm talking about other ideas, like the thing we did last week, and other things.

It should just be this amazing

opportunity to be with people and to

add things and to, yeah, for him.

So there shouldn't be like, he shouldn't be

taxed or feel

put upon.

And I know he feels that way at times.

Yeah, but he also,

what you're missing, what you're not saying in that sentence, is he also has a fucking job.

He's not here for Telm Studio, Dave.

He's here to work on the Tom Street.

But like that, so like he should be like jumping to do that.

He should.

And

doing what Mark used to do is like, what do you need me to do, boss?

And you feel he thinks he's doing that?

He would say he is.

And at times he does, but at times he doesn't, though.

And there is definitely times, though, I'm sure he will point to, where I was, or, well, he said this to me, or

he did this, or he wasn't.

You know, that's not why your friend should talk.

Again, you're right.

Like, those lines are blurred between, like, it's not your friend talking, it's your boss talking who needs shit done, who's tired of the shit not getting done.

So it's like, no, I'm not talking to you as your friend right now.

I talked to you as your friend a couple times when I said, hey, can you fucking do this or not do that?

And then

once you've reached the ceiling of how many times you're going to ask as a friend, you're like, look, as a boss, this is what I fucking need done.

Now fucking do it.

And it brings out a part of you that you're not crazy about.

Like a part of you you don't want there.

It's like,

had he just done it when it was talked about in friendly terms, you'd never get to that.

And his heart should be breaking listening to this, knowing that he has driven you to the point where you're like, maybe I got to go to Target.

He should be listening to this, being like, and I'm not saying he's not because we all know we joke around with Gen, but we all love the guy.

We all consider him a friend.

Like, he should be listening, being like, holy fuck, I

am doing this to my friend, who has fucking been the only person in my life who's made it, like, who's lifted me up out of the horse shit.

Like, literally.

Literally.

I mean, like, you can point, like, I'm like, you can point to so many things that he's gotten because it's home Steve Thavedo.

100 extra pounds.

Like, all these things he's put on.

Yeah, you got to keep an eye on that.

That he just eats whatever he wants.

Yeah.

I think he got that.

He put on the weight before he started working here.

Right?

It wasn't.

It's a learning.

Yeah.

So that's why I'm like, well, why wouldn't you be more like

not where you need to like, where you need to be saying it over, but just like

just make yourself

like a warm blanket?

Just make yourself, don't make yourself prickly.

I wonder if he was sitting here.

That's a t-shirt.

Don't make yourself like a thorn.

Make yourself like a cotton ball.

But why does he think that he's being a cotton mole?

Why does he think he's yeah, like I would love to hear him say, this is why I'm a cotton mole.

Why I'm not.

He thinks he's a cotton mole.

He doesn't know he's prickly.

He doesn't know he's prickly.

I mean, I don't know how many times you can tell him he's prickly before he wises up, but yeah, I'm sure in his mind, he's like, I mean, just right then and there, like that last little bit before you got upset, is like

that right there encapsulates the issue, the

denial of accountability for anything and Passes aggressively putting it on you.

You know, I know what I figured it out.

I know what it is.

A friend gave me this job, turned my life around.

Well, not around, changed my life forever with this job.

Sure.

I took it as

I couldn't do enough

to show him, you know, by running the store.

I expect that from him.

And he's not giving it to you.

And he's not doing it.

So the answer is not you running to Target.

What's the answer?

It's him realizing he's got to change.

He's got to fix shit, man.

He's got to.

Wow.

Do you think he can?

I think he's smart enough to.

Well, fucking A.

I mean, I hope so.

He's bragging about it constantly.

I think he's college.

He's going to.

But

I think there may be a little bit of resentment that

he realizes

that he's working

and there's nothing.

you know, that, like, oh, why, whoa, why are you talking to me like that?

I'm get him.

I mean, that's that's insanity.

That's how it feels.

I'm get him.

I know, I got a get him.

I get a feeling that there is that, though.

Like, there's that kind of like, whoa, but your defining role on the show is to get fucking yelled at.

So, why would that be out of?

I don't want.

You think I want to yell?

I don't want to yell at anybody.

I was joking.

I don't want to know, I know you, I'm just saying, but like, I don't know if people are listening.

I don't want to yell at him.

I want him to prosper.

I want him to

have that kind of fun.

And I know he didn't have fun creating that, though.

And that's really fucking weird.

He didn't?

I know he felt like I was

too

on him to do it.

Well,

if you're not, though, we've seen in the past that you won't do it.

Yeah, like the Christmas.

I felt a resentment of him when I was like, have you got this done yet?

We need this, this, this, and this done for that night.

And he would

get

standoffish.

And that to me is crazy.

Because when I'm offering him

opportunities and doors that were never opened to him, like, there's no one's going to ask him to do creative shit.

No.

Nobody on the face of the earth is going to ask him to do the things I'm asking him to do and show his artistic side, show his

no one but me.

You got that right.

So that's why, and I know, then you're right, though.

I expect like this

reciprocation.

Is that the right word?

Reciprocation.

Close enough.

The way that

I was like, well, I got to do this for Kev.

The way that, like, when a TV show came on, I remember Ming telling me a private conversation.

I never told this to anybody.

Ming came over and told me that Kevin told him, like, Walt needs to, you need to tell Walt

that he's got to do this, that he's got to really do this for us to get this picked up.

Okay.

So

there was a pressure that Kevin had told Ming that he's got to

shine.

Shuck and jai.

Yeah.

And you put on your dancing shoes because I felt

in a sense of like,

my friend needs me to do this.

Right.

That's what I'm looking for.

That level of

how I

responded when a friend was like, gave me responsibility and gave me a chance to be artistic.

That's what I'm looking for from him.

It's rough, though.

Like, like your expectations of how people should act or how you want them to act versus their nature,

it's at an odds often.

Yeah.

I mean, look, I've gone through it.

The expectation, like, why would you continue to do this when you know it drives me fucking crazy?

And there's no explanation.

No explanation.

Absolutely no change in behavior whatsoever.

And you get to the point where you're like, I'm done.

I'm done.

You check out.

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

To the point where you're just like, fuck it, then.

Like, this is just the way it is, unless I decide to change it.

You know, if you say that, if you ask enough or you fucking implore enough, like, can you please just not do this or do that?

Yeah, not capable?

Like, I would love to think it's not that they didn't care enough, but at a certain point, you got to consider that as a possibility.

But we're talking about, like,

I'm not talking about him like, I need you to design a new space rocket.

I need you just to

do

monkey work.

A set list of monkey work.

Yeah, this is all like he's smart enough to do it and do it, but he's got to realize that, like,

when it's tell him Steve Dave time, and when it's not, tell him Steve Dave Time.

Right.

Maybe

penalties need to be created and enforced.

I mean, I don't like want to see you in the position.

But no, that's bullshit, man.

Yeah, just because I don't want to see you in the position.

He's like a school marm.

Yeah, yeah.

I think listening to this is like, if I haven't touched his heart,

then there's no, then there's no heart in there, then I don't think to fucking

souls get him.

There's no, like, that means that he's got some sort of like

inability.

A blinder that is an inability, like you said, an inability to,

even if he's performing like I have to perform,

you know, when Michelle says, you're excited.

And I'm like, okay, I'm excited.

I need him to.

I want to smell this comic book.

I need him to do that.

And if he can't, he needs to be fake at him.

Yeah.

Well, then, if he can't, then he should

remove himself from the store and only be on Telem Steve, Dave.

And I don't want that to happen.

And I'm saying, I'm going on record right now.

That is the last thing I want.

So

I'm hoping if he listens to this, and if he, I mean I'll let you guys I'll text you guys if he's here I don't know tomorrow but he'll be here

I'd wager that he is yeah like I

then I mean if that's the angriest I've ever seen you it has to be the angriest he's ever seen you yeah

but I still don't think it was enough like I think he was like it was in the moment I don't think he took that as like oh I guess I'll start looking for a new job you know

And if he, if he's as smart as he says he is, he should come in tomorrow and be like, I need to talk to you about this.

But when we're like,

I don't want the listeners to think that there's this constant barking going on because

when him and I are

thinking side by side and in unison, and

it's almost like an episode of dyslexia.

Oh, God.

That must be so fun.

I enjoy talking to him.

I enjoy being around him.

And

I don't know if he would honestly say the same thing, though.

Maybe he just doesn't like me

or he's just whacked like

there's i i don't think it's that i don't think it's yeah i don't think it's like you doesn't like you no i think he pretends

then just then just pretend i don't think that's the case man like let's just pretend i don't care it's not going to be that much people do it to me all the time and i can't tell you

a real sense of

something approaching pride in get him last week even if you had to pull him kicking and screaming like the thing we did last week yeah he was great, he was great.

He, he, you could tell he liked that,

he loved the attention, but he liked that he created it with you.

He liked that he got the bust Brian and our balls were fucking.

I don't want to ruin anything, but the fucking most hated thing of my existence.

Like, he loves it, he's enjoying it.

He's just, you know, he's look, we're, I'm saying here,

why wouldn't you, though?

Because you've been, you've been a stallboy

now, you're giving a chance.

Like, it's it's again, it's not like on a big, it's not on a stage, it's not on, it's not even in a fucking.

No, but telemetry is important to me.

Yeah.

It's very important to me.

It's important to you guys.

It's important to everybody listening.

Not everybody, you know, but certain people listening to this.

Like, it's, it's, how important does something need to be before you feel

that it's important?

You know what I mean?

Like,

and I know if he enjoys doing that.

You're not doing it anywhere else, buddy.

Yeah, so

if you're listening, and I'm sure you are,

I mean, there's not much more that needs to be said.

I'm sure we can come to work after this episode and not ever talk again about it.

Well, you should.

We should?

I think so.

Yeah, absolutely.

You should.

I don't know if I got it.

But your advice is sound so far.

Yeah, you got to.

Haven't I said enough here?

Shouldn't he be the one talking now?

He should listen to this and he should absorb it and consider it and make his decision from there.

Even if it's a text, it's fine.

Right.

It would be enough.

I bet you you get something.

I don't know if you get it by tomorrow morning.

Well, the episode won't drop by now.

Yeah.

Maybe we should just send them the raw episode.

Maybe we should listen to this, buddy.

All right.

Well, it feels better now.

Yeah.

Doesn't it always feel better to talk shit out as opposed to like if you were like, I just want to be alone and like on a personal level, I would sit there and steam and get angrier.

And you start creating shit in your head that doesn't necessarily exist.

I'm the fucking worst at that.

I create fucking movies in my head, and I'm like, you got to stop this shit, dude.

Yeah.

You got to stop.

That's always been my big issue.

I'm hoping, Walt, when you get home, that there's a loot crate waiting for you.

Boy, oh boy, will that raise your spirits.

Not only will you be the envy of your friends, you know, all your friends on the crew.

You do have friends on the crew now.

Do you?

Who are your friends?

Like, who'd you consider a friend?

All of them?

Or do you not have a friend?

I gotta forget some of them.

I know.

Yeah, you're gonna have to.

Like, that's a big problem.

Do you want me to go over the guys that I'm like, I enjoy seeing every day?

I'm going to admit somebody.

I'm going to feel like shit.

But

everybody who knows.

Jeremy, Tom, Rags,

Nichelle, Moose.

Or Voose.

You've only known him a month and a half.

I like Moose, though.

So we change it to Moose.

And I'm missing, I'm sure, Kimberly.

You know, these are nice people.

So I definitely will.

Yeah, they're good people.

Yeah, very nice people.

And

I apologize for it taking seven years to actually say that LA.

Right.

And I'm sure they're listening.

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And okay, so that's Luke Crate.

Can we talk about

your thing now?

Well, I mean,

do you have time?

I got time.

I was going to do, I had a whole thing with the Baron plan.

All right.

You want to summon the Baron?

Let's summon the Baron.

Helen, do you want to say the magic magic words to summon the Baron since this is your first Helen's decision?

Did I get the full effect?

I only had the hat.

Yeah.

Okay, hold on.

You got to wait then.

All right.

What are the magic words again?

You're joining

Method Man of the Wu-Tang,

Freddy Krueger.

Many, many, many luminaries have summoned the Baron worth the magic words.

Which are what again, Brian?

Hold on a second, and I'll tell you.

Fiend of fact of.

Yeah, I'll get it in a second.

As soon as you.

It's the, you got to come over here, Helen, for a second.

You got to say it into the mic.

This is just a way to keep getting cousin Helena sitting next to me.

Okay, here you go.

If you read that, what a surprise you'll get.

Darkness drown out light.

Appear, fiend of fact, within my sight.

Oh, I wasn't right.

You got to close your eyes when you're saying that.

The bad is all prepared.

Oh, I wasn't prepared.

All right.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you got to close your eyes.

Well, you guys have to close your eyes too.

I don't think you've seen this.

I'm like, sit very close.

I can't close my eyes and read.

Sit very close to me and close your eyes.

Yeah, yeah, if you just shield your eyes, that's enough.

That's difficult.

Darkness, drown-out light.

Appear, fiend of fact, within my sight.

Hey, what's up?

What's up?

Oh, shit.

Caviot Mtor.

I really don't like face priest masks.

Oh, really?

You're not a fan of the Baron, huh?

That's why it's ghoulish.

Yeah.

That's why you should be sorry.

That's why it's Fiend of Fact, not Friend of Fact.

Yeah, do you say Friend?

She said Fiend.

Oh, no.

She knows Fiend.

She's fiendish.

She's freaked out.

Whoa.

Yeah, did you like the new

edition of The Mask?

It's got a menacing look about it.

It's got going to be that menacing when I have to put my reading glasses on underneath it.

See, I would prefer over it.

Can you get over it?

Do you mind if I take a photo?

No, go right ahead.

Of the Baron?

Hold on, let me call it my tongue necklace.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

You didn't even see that coming, did you, cousin?

Tongue necklaces.

Got it.

Lovely.

She's like, what the fuck is going on here?

I thought you said this was going to be funny.

She just landed.

We picked her over at the airport like 20 minutes ago.

Oh, you know what?

We're in luck.

The Baron was smart enough to put his font, his text, at an unbelievably giant size.

28 points.

So the Baron doesn't have to wear his glasses.

Oh, excellent.

All right, so you guys want to hear the first fact?

Yeah.

I'm about to, like I said, do you like the addition of the mask?

I do, I do.

It really gets across that you're one step closer to hell with every fact.

And this ensures that I can be the Baron now into my 80s because no one can really see my face.

Once as I get older, it doesn't matter how bad I get, how ugly I am.

Does it also mean that there could be other people under the mask?

Like

that dude who smashes watermelons?

Yeah, like

Gallagher 2.

He doesn't even wear a mask, right?

But I could license it out.

Yeah.

That's definitely a Halloween costume in the making as well.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That's a fucking good idea.

This is the shit I'm talking about.

Right.

This is why you don't have to work a target.

So, as you recall, Q and Bri,

every fact I tell you is there's a meaning behind it.

You guys got to decipher what it is.

Right.

Try to figure out why I'm telling you this fact.

Yeah.

But the Baron's first fact.

Oh, this is good.

This is where you get to berate us.

So that'll make you happy.

That always makes me happy.

Yeah, I know.

It brings a little gleam to your eye.

The first fact:

90%,

let me start over there.

95% of people text things

they would never say in person.

Oh, shit.

You want to work on that meaning, Brian?

I'm assuming he just texted Giddam while he was getting his costume.

Well, that's the.

Oh, I won't tell you.

Try to decipher it.

There is a reason.

I'll explain it.

Oh, man.

Well,

I think I'm in for a berating.

Why would the Baron pick that fact to relate to all of you?

The fact is, 95% of the people would text something they could never say in person.

They wouldn't have the courage to say it in person, so they'll say it in a text.

95% of people admit to that.

Cousin Helen, what's your number?

I need to text you something quickly.

No?

Okay, fine.

Like, there's so many angles we could take here.

Is it that 5% of the people are

balls?

Or they're so out of touch with what they should and shouldn't say.

Or that.

You seem very nervous, Q, like you don't know what to say.

The new Baron has got me a little freaked out.

I got it.

It's weird, right?

You got the mask that.

I had so many answers before, before I, the Baron.

I know, but a lot of these things are subjective, and I always sat on the wrong side of them.

You were like, you were, you were, there was no

gray area.

When you were relaying all your, your, your very, uh, your wisdom about my problem earlier,

you were so confident.

Now the Baron's here, and you're.

The Baron unnerves me, man.

Yeah, I mean, come on.

There's a difference between dealing with Wall and the Baron.

Yeah.

You just want to hear why?

Yeah, please.

Got me in the Baron's head.

This is me just kind of condemning humankind because they're cowards.

What a shook.

I was going to say cowardly, but then I don't know why I didn't.

I think I was too afraid.

Well, we kind of touched on when we said only 5% of people have balls.

I'm shaming all you pigs.

Oh, my gosh.

You're a cowardly lot, and you deserve whatever happens to you.

What will happen to you?

Whoa.

It's become very ominous.

Do you think you fall within that 95% cue?

Or the 5%?

Yeah, that's a good one.

Have you texted things that you could never say in person?

And that could be like romantic things, too.

Like, you can't say it.

You don't have the

You don't have it in you to

spill your heart on it.

Well, the things

that I text to Stacy, I don't want there to be a record of.

So I shout them outside her bedroom window.

No, I think I'm pretty good.

I think I've become so middle of the road in my emotions that I don't really go either way that there's nothing I couldn't say face to face.

Yeah.

So you would not be in a 95% time?

I think I'd be in the 5%, but a pussy version of the 5%.

A slightly pussified version.

Yeah.

I don't have strong opinions anymore.

I can't imagine that there's anything that

you can't possibly say.

You fall into that category of 95%, that you text things that you would never say in person.

No, I wouldn't say that.

Generally, I've got to be ready to text.

I'm like, you know what, fuck this shit.

I want to say to her face.

All right.

You want to move on?

Yeah.

All right.

Now we know it's about Walt's disdain for humanity.

No, well, no, no.

Where's my thunder?

No, it's not there.

Oh, here you go.

No, it's over here.

That one's still sick, I think, because that's why I'm

doing it on pain.

Why can't the thunder effects are just

feeling too faint?

I mean, come on, what a lightning now, thunder.

I mean,

why won't this Baron cut me some snack?

He's on my balls.

All right, now

I condemned humanity, and now you're feeling all shitty about yourselves.

Yeah.

But now

a single cloud in the sky can weigh up to a million pounds.

Whoa.

That's a shot at my fatness, isn't it?

You're thinking that the Baron's angry.

Maybe he's not angry.

Okay.

So things, I'm going to say things aren't always what they seem.

Things have hidden weight and meaning.

It's pretty good, Keo.

It doesn't look accurate.

It's awesome.

The Baron's disappointed in you.

A single rain cloud can weigh a million pounds.

Sorry.

Sorry, Baron, sorry.

I didn't say rain at all.

I said a single cloud.

Single cloud can weigh a million pounds.

I don't know.

I've got no idea.

I'm afraid to say the wrong thing.

We can't afford to break it over the right.

I certainly wouldn't break it over that you didn't understand this

fact.

But I thought it was the Baron kind of telling you guys.

You're cowards.

Like, how often do we look up in the sky and we see those clouds?

You think they're airy and light

and you want to float away in a cloud?

Right.

But

they weigh a million pounds.

You're not going to float away.

You're not going to be able to escape your problems.

Face them.

So you can't escape the target or clouds?

I don't mean to contradict you, Barron, but I thought that's kind of what you said, Q.

Things aren't always what they seem, right?

But this is, yeah, but literally I meant clouds, though.

Oh, okay.

I didn't mean like, it wasn't a metaphor.

It was like when you look at clouds, you think of them as being soft and you want to go lie on one and float away and maybe all your problems will go away.

That's not the case.

They weigh a million pounds.

You're not going to go anywhere.

Yeah, good luck, you.

You're not going to float away from your problems.

Face them head-on.

All right.

I think that's the definition of a metaphor.

I don't know.

That's what it is.

I don't want to throw a mic over your head.

We got Walt laughing again.

Let's just fucking.

That's not a metaphor.

I'm actually using the cloud, though.

You're using the cloud.

Okay, so so

it's literal.

It's a literal interpretation.

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah.

So we've got cowardice

and

don't

own up and face what you have.

Three to five percent.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Okay, you ready for this now?

I only got four, so I only got two more.

Okay.

The very first Baron von Flanagan merchandise is now...

Well,

fuck, I fucked that up, Q.

Q.

We cut that up.

The very first Baron von Flanagan merchandise will be available at tellhamstevedave.com

this Sunday at midnight.

I'm going to go ahead and say that's a straightforward fact.

It's pretty literal.

There's no metaphor there.

There's no clouds involved there.

It's just straight up.

Do you guys want to know what the merchandise is?

This is fucking

a watershed moment, man.

This is exciting.

This is pretty fucking dope.

This Sunday,

ants can go to tellhamstevedave.com at midnight,

and they're going to be able to see up for purchase

a Baron von Fleigne t-shirt.

Which is unbelievably awesome.

In style, it's very spooky.

And

it's also got

one of your favorite Tellum Steve Dave friends on it.

The Prussian kissing devil.

It's a combo shirt.

People wondered when we tried to make money off that thing.

The day has come for you to be soaked like a rain cloud.

No, it's a fucking awesome.

I mean, you designed the poster that's like a 70s horror.

Actually, no, I didn't design it.

Oh, who did?

No, an aunt a long time ago sent out this image.

I love the image.

I asked him to send it to me.

I wanted to make it into a t-shirt.

I can't remember the gentleman's name, but

I'm sure we'll see it in the lawsuit.

No, no, I purchased it outright.

I told him I wanted to do it for a t-shirt.

I told him I loved it.

It was so long ago.

We're talking like, I've had this

marketing plan going, you know, for almost a year.

What color are your eyes?

My eyes?

My eyes are hazel.

So, like, when I wear a blue shirt, they turn blue.

Yeah, you got really like, I don't think I've ever noticed before because, like, now I'm only looking at his eyes.

You got really nice eyes.

Yeah, the Baron's eyes are popping.

Yeah.

I never noticed that.

I was so you're because I was going to buy red contacts.

Don't have red eyes.

No need.

No, you don't think I should do that?

They're arresting.

You've got arresting eyes.

Yeah, but

do you want to be romanced by the gaze of the Baron or do you want to be intimidated, right?

Like red content.

Both.

Well, why?

Yeah, man.

In my sex life, I prefer both at once.

Yeah, go get one red contact.

Yeah.

You girl Sevis?

Look at Cousin Helen.

She's like, I'm moving to New Jersey.

I'm moving to hell.

So back to the Baron's merch.

We're trying to sell something here, Cube.

Sorry, sorry.

Yeah, midnight, you're going to be able to buy that t-shirt.

The very first

is an awesome shirt.

You know, it's a a limited edition shirt.

Yes.

You know,

we're not going crazy with it.

And that's my third fact.

So that will be the

13th.

No.

The 20th.

The 21st, I thought.

No, 21st is a Monday.

Yeah, well, okay, Sunday slash Monday.

Oh, okay.

Oh, midnight, okay.

Yeah,

when the clock strikes midnight, the witching hour,

you can get your barren merchandise.

The image is very cool.

You're right.

It's like a 70s exploitation.

Yeah, it's fucking cool.

Yeah.

And

is it just the shirt?

Well, hold on.

You want to hear my next fact?

I would love to.

I know there was a fourth fact, so I'm wondering.

The fourth fact is also the most important fact of the night.

Okay.

Along with the very first Baron von Feynman piece of merchandise, the t-shirt,

a mini Prussian kissing skull

boxed with shredded money will also be available.

That's fucking crazy.

That

is something I did not see coming.

A miniature 3D printed skull that looks fucking exactly

like the original skull.

We don't know if it has its powers.

Well,

every boxed skull is going to come with shredded money.

So you don't have to put any money in.

If you buy it, it's ready to rock right out as soon as you get it out of the box.

Start making wishes.

start putting curses on people.

It's ready to rock.

Yeah, that's, and this is,

you know, before

I get shots at it, because people don't like me when I talk about the Prussian kids and that one, this was fucking Walt's design from beginning to end.

The box looks fucking amazing.

That was Joseph, the guy who created

those minifigures of us.

Okay.

Yeah, I asked him,

he's a great artist, and I asked him to come up with the design of the box.

I love the design of the box.

It's unbelievable.

And you know whose idea was for the Shredded shredded money?

Who?

Get him?

Get him.

Get him.

How about that?

Wow.

Has this come for up circle?

It has.

In a way.

Do you see that tear?

I do.

It's like underneath the mask.

Wow, that's like.

Yeah, that's real, real shredded money.

It's not like my money.

Yeah, the shredded money comes from the treasury.

Yeah.

I had

each skull is individually hand-painted.

Every skull is different.

A little bit.

No two skulls are the same.

And how about this?

I thought this was a great touch.

I had

children of Prussian descent paint each skull.

That's fucking crazy.

I farmed it out over to some third world country.

Some Eastern European shithole.

Yeah.

Where they're either stealing organs or painting skulls.

That doesn't exist anymore.

His descent, not necessarily.

I got gypsies, basically.

They've been enslaved by other cultures.

It's not our fault.

So they painted.

Well, actually, no, that's not true.

That was just a joke.

But I will tell you,

I had children.

It's pretty close to enslaving Eastern Europeans.

I had my two daughters working around the clock, stuffing boxes, putting skulls in boxes, putting straw in boxes, putting money in little bags.

It looked like a crack house at my house, but there was no drugs, though.

Right.

We'd probably make a lot more selling crack, but

consequences.

Yeah, my two daughters and my wife.

Oh, my God.

I want to say a big thank you to my wife.

She did so much work on folding boxes, putting boxes together.

I mean, I mean, I'm looking at it right now.

That's fucking unbelievable.

Yeah.

It looks so good.

That's even better than the one, the first one I saw.

Oh, yeah.

These are the hot.

This is a prototype.

Yeah, this is crazy.

And this is also very limited edition.

We didn't make a lot of of these.

So if you're into this, you know, it's not necessary.

It's just something cool we wanted to do.

It's not like one of those things you said, like, we thought it was cool.

Exactly, yeah.

You know, it's so neat, we felt that we had to do it.

It was just something we wanted to see come to life.

And the beauty is, if you don't want it, you don't got to buy it.

There's not a charge for anything other than something you want.

And we're also offering a bundle queue if you want to get the Prussian Kiss and Skull shirt and miniature skull.

Get a little

break on the combo.

You convinced me to throw it to even sweeten the pot even further.

That's right.

Is this another fact?

Fifth fact?

You know what?

The Baron is going to be a flashlight.

That will not happen.

It's a fact, it won't happen.

The Baron is going to give you the floor.

The first time ever, the Baron is going to someone else state a fact.

Can I do the Thunder?

Absolutely.

All right.

Here we go.

Hold on, let me just make sure that

before you say this fact that they're cool with it because it was a half

fuck, okay.

All right, go ahead.

Okay, I gotta do it anyway.

All right, and this is Walt as well.

But the first 300

orders of the combo

of the shirt and the mini Prussian skull

are going, the first 300 orders of the t-shirt mini skull combo are going to get

a Metro preview comic previously only available at San Diego Comic Gon.

Four.

For free.

Free.

Tears of Thunder.

Shit.

This was a fact I was unaware of until this very moment.

Waltz had a good idea.

He's like, why don't we give it away?

Wow.

To people who couldn't go to San Diego to get it from you.

What did it cost in San Diego?

No, it's free in San Diego.

Okay.

Yeah, we were.

It's free across the board.

Free across the board.

We're very proud of it.

We want people to know about it, it, so we're going to include it in that.

But that, people are selling that on eBay.

Not that I think you should do this.

I wish they wouldn't do it.

For like $150.

So whoever bought it.

If I had known that cue.

You had told me that before.

We could print more.

I would have said, let's just throw him up on eBay.

Cut that shit out.

You know,

if Baron is anything, he's of his word.

We're going to give it away.

First 300.

As long as he's accountable.

So that's the Baron segment.

And like I said, it's been getting harder and harder to wrest control back from the Baron.

So I.

Four steps closer to hell.

Wait, am I closer to hell because I give a fact?

Well, why do you think the Baron allowed you to stay?

Oh, motherfucker.

He snaked you.

Now I knocked one off my account.

Oh, man.

I made you take one on.

Shit.

What do they say?

Pride goeth before the fall?

You're like, I'm like Baron Jr.

Now you're almost in hell.

God damn it.

So that's it.

Wow.

Wow.

That's fucking pretty cool.

Midnight.

Midnight.

Not as cool, though, as

having extra fucking unlimited storage for your fucking computer.

Like, who doesn't want petabytes?

What is this shit?

Hold on.

Petabytes?

Petabytes, Q.

It's the newest thing.

All the kids are doing it.

Wait, when can I release the image that you sent us?

You want to do it on

this episode?

Okay, got it.

Got it.

Okay.

Here's how it works.

Backblaze is a program that runs on your Mac and PC.

Automatically backs up all user data and stores it safely in the cloud.

One of those million-pound clouds.

You can access and get your data back from anywhere that has an internet connection.

You can even get your data back by ordering a hard drive with all your data on it.

If you return that hard drive,

you get a full refund.

So, wait, it backs up all user data and stores it in the cloud, and you could get it from anywhere.

So, it's a cloud.

It's a cloud.

Okay.

It has unlimited backup, all user data on Mac and PC, plus external hard drives.

Over 300 petabytes, that's 300,000 terabytes.

That's a lot.

That's a lot.

Is it secure?

Hold on,

let me see.

23 plus billion files have been recovered by customers.

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15-day

fully featured free trial at Backblaze.com/slash T-E-S-D.

That's Backblaze.com/slash T-E-S-D.

It's a first-time sponsor, right?

Yeah, first time.

What do we do for first-time sponsors?

Anything?

We read their shit, and that's it.

Yeah.

Maybe we don't make fun of them.

That's a special treat.

That's when you double down on us.

The name, the name, the first thing you said, peta.

Petabytes?

Petabytes.

I would have changed that.

Right, too much like pedophile?

Yeah.

Right.

Well, that's where you store all your child porn on petabytes.

Writebackblades.com.

And I was like, I was going to say last time, they sponsor us.

But I was going to say, Thomas, but I know we have to do 12 more minutes after an ad.

Yeah, we got to do at least 12 more minutes.

And I'm going to tell you something.

Wall this sits very close to home for you and I.

And queue in a different way.

All right.

Hold on, let me start running the clock.

Okay.

The 12-minute question.

Is that the last ad?

That was the last ad, yep.

So let me see.

Okay, we're at 1.56.

12 minutes.

I think that 12 minutes wasn't arbitrary.

It was like it can't appear in the last 10% of the show.

So, whatever math they use to find 12 minutes more.

Who gives a fuck?

Yeah.

So anyway, Highlands, New Jersey, Walt, is in the news.

Our hometown?

Well, not your hometown.

My hometown.

I lived there for a little bit.

Very formative years for you.

Your first home was there with your lovely bride.

Yeah,

that's right.

My first house was there.

We both worked at the recreation center, you know, the town community center.

Yeah.

Where a rock painted with a swastika and the words white power were discovered near the community center one day after a violent white supremacist rally in Charlottesburg, Virginia.

A photograph of the rock began making the rounds on Facebook pages Sunday.

The rock, which was discovered near the community center, has been reported to police.

Chief Robert Burton.

Robbie Burton is a chief of police now.

Wow.

Something, huh?

This is a kid who went to the wreck when we worked there.

Really?

Now he's chief of police.

You guys feel safe with him at the helm?

I'm hoping he's going to give me a pass on the swastika rock.

He's a good guy.

Real good guy.

Yep.

He deserves to be chief.

So

some asshole

painted a swastika on a rock.

Right.

That's how.

And wrote white power.

In

a dwindling lifetime, where you only get a certain amount of time on this earth, and we don't know if there's anything after it, they spent some of their time painting swastikas on rocks and writing white power.

What message are you trying to get across?

Probably white power.

Yeah, but like but in what way

do you think that that's going to be fucking like what that's what I'm saying because you're not that's not the message.

Like you're like you're doing something that you know you're people are going to look at and be like, what a fucking asshole.

Now,

not only that, but this little bit of additional information is going to really hammer that home.

Okay.

Because the rock appears to be a perversion of a

community idea that was intended to spread the opposite message.

Because last week residents began finding small rocks painted with inspirational messages, sea creatures, or whatever fun, child-appropriate image the artist desired.

So somebody saw those rocks

with, you know, seahorse on it or like, hang in there.

I got to be clearly honest.

I could do without that too.

Exactly.

I don't need the seahorses.

I don't need the white power shit, and I don't need the seahorses.

None of it.

Let's just fucking leave the rocks alone.

I'm just gonna own rocks.

Right.

Right.

I mean, I don't want to be like Trump where I'm just like, it's coming from all sides.

Definitely, if I had to eliminate one,

it would be the swastika and the white power.

I want to be very clear on that.

The white power rock appeared in Highlands at an especially inflammatory time.

They're really trying to make this white power rock.

Store up for this.

I think people be like, hey, man, you can paint whatever you want on these rocks to get a message across.

And some of you're going to get a fucking, somebody's going to be like, well, my message is.

White power.

Here's the white power rock.

Holy shit, they went for it.

They did.

They used colors.

They went home and painted this rock and are like, now I'm going to drop it somewhere.

That makes me think of somebody just being a fucking clown.

It absolutely is.

I can't imagine.

That's someone stirring the pot, right?

Right.

That's somebody that's like, you know, it'll be fucking funny.

And I can't say they're exactly wrong.

It's some asshole who fucking doesn't believe that at all, being like, this will get me in the paper.

Yeah, I know it'll fucking get everyone's fucking damn direct right now.

Well, the paper shouldn't have played into that.

Oh, I bet you they're like shitting bricks that they're going to get exposed, whoever did it.

Rightfully so.

Now, you're walking along the community, the wreck beach, Walt.

You see a rock that says white power on it.

What do you do?

Do you call the police?

How big's the rock?

It doesn't look very big.

It looks like kind of like.

I don't know.

I mean, it's small enough that somebody can sort of carry it around.

Yeah, but I don't want to pick it up to dispose of it.

Next thing you know, it's fucking

from a fractal joker carrying his white power rock around Atlantic Island.

At an especially inflammatory time,

she decided.

I'd probably just leave that alone.

I feel like, because the river is right there, I would be like, I would just chuck it in the river and be done with it.

And then that would be it, right?

You don't have to work everyone up over one asshole being like, white power when

I'd bet my life that you're right that he's like, you know, it would be funny if, like, next to the seahorse, there's a swastika.

Yeah.

That's what he should have have done, made a swastika out of seahorses, right?

I mean, it would have been more clever, for sure.

But this person put time into it, you can tell.

Yeah, it's like almost like a superhero emblem.

He's got the red background, the border.

But

what if he does believe that?

What if that is a real?

He's going to believe it whether or not it's found.

So you don't have to

painting rocks.

What's that?

A Nazi's not painting rocks.

Right.

A Nazi's busy going out and hating somebody or giving a Jew

a cross glance or whatever.

Are they still after the Jews?

Who knows?

I don't know who they're after.

I guess they're after everybody who's not white, right?

Well, I don't think we'd be safe.

No?

No, you're part black.

Yeah, that 0.4%.

I saw that.

I was like, I'm not leaving my house.

Especially at this time?

Uh-huh.

This is an inflammatory time in history.

They really want to play it up.

They're like, well, what else do we got?

All right.

A dog got lost.

There was a car accident on Route 36.

Holy shit, a fucking Nazi rock?

Let's do it.

Like, let's really play it out.

Because you could say nothing.

No one would know the, no one would be the wiser.

It's not like it was a cross that was burned or somebody broke into a person's house and

did something.

It's like somebody fucking was an asshole, painted a rock, put it out there, and got exactly the reaction they were hoping for.

Yeah.

You know?

Do you have any in now?

I've been obviously the Lanthe Highlands many times, but I'm not so aversed with the town that I know the answer to this.

Do you guys have any statues of Confederate heroes in your town?

That's all we have.

Really?

Yeah.

So

we do?

No.

I don't think we have any statues.

We have a cannon.

It was a statue of a cannon.

What side of the Civil War was that cannon on?

I don't even know if it was Civil War.

I think it might have been World War I or II.

Yeah.

All right.

Right.

The cannon is actually aimed at the only black families house in the world.

Well, that's a problem.

Did you see what they did in Baltimore last night?

No, they didn't.

In the fucking middle of the, in the, in the, at like three in the morning, they went and they took all the statues out.

Oh, did they?

Yeah, all the Confederate statues are gone.

Baltimore had Confederate statues?

Fuck, apparently Baltimore, this is what I learned.

Apparently Baltimore wanted to fucking wanted to be on the on the Confederate side, but they got bribed by the Union side by saying, well, you guys could still keep slaves, just stay with us.

Bought out, huh?

Yeah, yeah, but well, they got to keep slaves, so they're like, fuck it.

A lot of people are worked up about this statue thing.

Yeah, I don't know why.

You've got both sides.

Well, you have the

Dixie bullshit.

Like, I went to Florida, not last summer, sorry, before, with brought Sage down there.

And like, you know, I drove, so I'm driving through some of these southern states.

And, you know, you go to a gas station and they're selling like

South Will Rise Again shirts and all this other shit.

It's like, I'm not offended by it, obviously, but it's like, no, you're not.

You're not going to rise again.

And you lost.

And the whole, like, hey, Southern pride, it's like, fucking, like, let it go, fucking morons.

Because all it does is play into the stereotype that everyone thinks you're a bunch of fucking inbred hicks.

Yeah.

Hey, man, don't you say that about me?

All right, so we're sick.

But I mean, there's statues of guys who legitimately believe, like, to say that the Civil War was only about slavery and it's like these guys are like, we want slaves, it's not exactly true.

It's not accurate.

So there, I mean, some of it was, you know, making tons of money off cotton and free labor and shit.

Yeah.

Some of it was, you know, the North or the United States being like, well, if these guys secede, now we're a country divided in half, and that's going to be a fucking problem.

That's why anytime like Texas or California is like, we're going to secede, it's like, bullshit.

It'll never happen.

It won't be allowed to happen.

But

these statues of guys who

valiantly fought and believed in whatever fucking cause it was, which I doubt was like singularly like we want slaves.

From a historical point of view, we're important, but it doesn't mean you got to put it outside the courthouse or fucking in a park or whatever, where a lot of black people are like,

I don't know, you know.

Yeah.

Right?

I mean, it would be weird if you think about it.

Like, like,

keep it to like, you know, museums or fucking, you know, you know, like artifacts in museums or shit you can look at on Wikipedia.

People don't need to be reminded daily every time they go to work.

Like, well, there's a guy who sort of like, you know, represents.

Like, if he had his way.

Right.

I wouldn't be driving in this car.

Yeah.

My hands would be bleeding from picking cotton and shit.

So.

Have losers been celebrated this much in any other war?

No, but the losers are celebrating themselves.

No one else is celebrating them.

Right, but I'm saying, but have they, like, I have.

Like, not since the Bad News Bears have losers been celebrated this much.

Like, it's fucking crazy.

They lost.

They lost.

They didn't even lose in, like, a scrappy bad news bear sort of way.

Like, they just fucking lost, and I got everybody killed.

Yeah, it's not like they took the Robert E.

Lee statue and threw it back at the North.

They're like, fuck you.

Like, at the end of the bed, yeah.

They're like, let's erect it and let's celebrate a guy who.

Yeah,

I would have never dreamed until you told me.

Let's erect it and we'll celebrate a largely black city.

Yeah.

And it's like, I feel like like if slavery

hasn't been like

reinstituted by now, probably not going to happen.

So, South, you're not going to rise again.

You're going to stay at the same level you've always been, which is fucking dopey if you keep this bullshit up.

Who removed the statues?

The city council and the mayor had

been remotely.

Well, no, some of them were knocked down by like protesters and shit.

That I don't agree with.

I like law and order.

I don't like that.

You don't have the right to just go around tearing down shit shit that you don't like.

That's not the way the United States works.

Was there a big...

Was there a...

Otherwise, I'd be tearing off your shirt right now, Cousin Helen.

I can't do that, though.

I'm from the North.

It's not acceptable.

I can only imagine that.

She's like 22.

And from the South.

That it was an overwhelmingly positive reaction to Baltimore's in the middle of the night.

Well, the reason they did it was to avoid shenanigans and nonsense.

Yeah, very smart.

I think there were people out applauding and stuff like that.

Which, to me, that I'm also just like, I mean, yay, our lives will be so much different.

That's what I'm saying.

I just, like, if it, if removing it meant, like, like, in the next morning, everything is going to be even a little bit better for people, then, yeah, let's get rid of them all.

But, I mean, I don't know if it'll make a really,

there's no longer.

I guess it's just symbolic.

It definitely is.

And there's no long-lasting change without a shift in attitudes and shit.

It's like the it just symbolizes something.

It's not like, oh man, Robert E.

Lee's statue hasn't been there for a year.

I guess I like everyone now.

It's like if you have that kind of if you have that in your heart to hate people like that.

I didn't even notice that those fucking statues were there until I started talking about them.

Oh, you're in Baltimore or what?

Anywhere.

I never fucking look at statues.

I've never been like, what's that about?

Yeah, like you see it, like, it's just like.

Yeah, maybe like an old star, like Abraham Lincoln.

I'm like, oh, cool, Lincoln's got a statue.

Other than that, it's just like some Ponce dude with a feather in it.

Have you ever taken a picture in front of a statue?

Maybe

not that I can recall, but if I did, it was definitely a Lincoln or a Churchill.

Yeah, I got my picture in front of the Martin Brodur statue.

Oh, well, that's the sports hero.

And he definitely wasn't a racist.

I was surprised.

I was surprised Rangers fans haven't tried to tear it down.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

All right.

Welcome to 12 Minutes in Hell, probably the most anticipated episode of 12 Minutes to Hell in the history of the podcast, the mini podcast.

All three episodes?

All three episodes.

That's right.

If you're listening to this, it's 24 hours after what you just listened to.

Almost exactly 24 hours.

Not a good day, right, yesterday?

I would admit.

No, not good.

It started out good.

It started out fine.

Comments and everything.

It did start out good.

One thing I learned yesterday was it's not a good idea to do a podcast when you are white hot angry.

That was definitely a stupid move on my part to continue to sit there and talk.

Not for any reason.

I said things that

regarding,

I don't want anybody to think listening that

especially people who I am, like when I said that, you know, I'm tired of working with incompetent people.

There's some people out there who are maybe wondering who I'm talking about.

It's certainly not.

I don't want to

rest assured, it was regarding projects that I haven't even mentioned, like

just Tell them Steve Dave projects that are taking too long to finish or Tell them Steve Dave products that I'm trying to get off the ground and and are and are crashing like the the Hindenburg around me.

And

that was a perfect storm yesterday to infuriate me.

So, you know, obviously I work with many competent people.

You know, my God, just alone on the on the comic book s series I'm working on, I've got people who to say they're competent would be an insult.

I mean they're they're they're so skilled and so good at what they do they put me to shame you know you know like the guy with colors at Wayne Jansen the Inker

Will Phil

to every I mean

obviously I was in a

place that I was seeing red but I think I think it's been worked out I hope I feel

right I think so I'm trying to

would you say like

do you suffer fools lightly to quote the old

experience?

I've heard that phrase.

I don't, what does that actually mean?

That you put up with, I would take it to mean that you put up with fools.

I don't know.

Like you tolerate them, I would take it.

That would be

working with so many smart people and intelligent people, which would be, I could understand, would be very tough to be like, well, why can't you at least maintain the lowest level of competency all these other people can?

How do you still exist in this world?

How do you make it out the door?

How are you not murdered on site?

No, I mean,

I mean, we talk, I mean, like I said,

I know we only have 12 minutes here, but like we had a much longer 12 minutes talk this morning.

You brought up your

anxiety, your social anxiety thing.

My lack of social skills.

Do you have social anxiety too?

Because

that's what I have.

Is that not what you have?

I think it might be awkwardness, just like the lack of eye contact sometimes.

I got that, too.

Because I was going to say, because I was thinking about it after you said it, because

you were trying to

use it as, but you were trying to explain away why

things are the way they are.

I was saying that sometimes someone could take offense to the fact that you don't make eye contact with them and that's just something I do and it's not intended as yeah but that yeah that wasn't the issue but I was talking about but like in social anxiety I was like

for me it's like I don't speak to people because

I feel what I'm going to say is going to come across dumb I've always felt that way and with you I think it's just the opposite everything you say you think is going to come across as if it's fucking like Einstein said it, and the whole room's going to stop.

No, I don't think I just, I think it just comes out.

It's just a stream of consciousness.

Okay.

I mean, I think I very rarely, because you know, it's like you think of that old day singer, where like you're like, oh, that's what I should have said-type deal.

Or, like, no, I just, you know, and especially when it's a nervous situation, I will babble.

And I mean, you've told me, like, when I go to, you know, when I go upstairs to just keep quiet, don't say anything.

Yeah.

One of the things that we're going to work on is

if

you don't need to tell a joke,

every other sentence doesn't need to be a joke.

And I think if we can work on that, I think that'll help things.

But the past is the past.

You're definitely my most complicated relationship.

There's no doubt about it.

Wow, even compared to Johnson?

We talked about it.

We've moved past.

Well, you know what?

Yeah.

at the current state,

at the current existence, because Brian, now it's like a dream.

It's like, it's easy.

There's no problems.

It's all good.

But so right now.

Is that why you asked if he takes apprentices the other day?

Who?

You asked Johnson if he takes apprentices the other day.

Apprentices for what?

I don't know.

I was talking to Tom.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

But yeah, easily the most complicated relationship in my life would be yours because it's like

a week ago, yesterday, we were doing something

I'm proud of.

And that like I was proud of you.

And I was happy with your input.

I was

more than happy with it.

And you did great work and you did things that I pushed you to do and you did them.

And

just seven days later,

I wanted to

cave your face in.

And it's and it's like, so it's a, so that, it's like, you know what they say?

It's like that, like that.

Yeah, it's like one of those

love-hate relationships

where people are like, well, they can't break up because, you know, they argue like mad and then they make up and it's like the makeup sex is so good.

It is.

There's no makeup sex here, but it's

I

don't.

It's a podcast.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

But it just goes to show you that

24 hours can make all the difference in the world.

I slept on it.

I was even talking about I wanted to

move on.

I don't need any changes.

I just need Zen.

I need you to keep me Zen.

And

that's your goal from now on is

what keeps Walt Zen?

Yeah.

I even, I muted you last night on the phone because I'm...

They wanted me to call you to come back because I wanted to do like a like it's a you ever see that Metallica movie Some Kind of Monster No where they did you saw it no no no no

because they had they went through therapy and like Q's and all and all kidding aside Q and Brian are

they they everybody

I

would hope that everybody has two guys like that that

or even just one guy like that in your life that you can talk to because they did make me feel better.

Did you have one on each shoulder?

Were they both on one shoulder?

They were both extremely supportive.

Was it the angel and the devil?

You'll hear it all.

You're going to hear it all.

So

as you say, I've been listening to the show, and I think I'm going to get mentioned.

Yeah, well, your ears are going to be bleeding.

You ever hear

people say their ears burn?

Yeah, were your ears burning because

it was bad?

No, I left here.

I hit mute on you because I'm like,

I want to go.

I want to be home.

I want to sleep.

I don't want to barrage the text messages.

Well, you've done it before.

Yeah, I don't want to barrage you.

And I said, I just want to be able to sleep tonight.

All I said was, like, can you want to come back and hash this out?

I didn't even say that.

I said, can you, do you want to come back?

And that's it.

And I figured, you know what?

It was probably a good idea.

You didn't.

It would have not been

productive.

I get it.

It comes from a place of like

just two things.

And I didn't mention the first thing, I didn't get into I didn't get into details about the first thing because I didn't feel it was

proper.

But so, well, I mean,

but

if it ever comes down to a trial, I'm sure it'll come up.

If you go on trial, I mean, I'm sure there's some listeners going out there.

I'm sure you're going to have some people who are like, Because I even I was like, I don't know if he's going to come back.

Q was like, he's come back.

Last night?

No, no, no.

Like this morning.

This morning.

I go by the George Hugh Sands and just show up like nothing ever happened.

Oh, you were serious?

That is.

I didn't make that control in the parking lot until I was inside the door.

I can't see it.

Wow, what it I mean, it's crazy, but like

I mean, because I don't want to like because I I like because I don't want to make light of like because I was it was a legitimate thing that

had to have been addressed both things, both things.

And so I but I think it does go to show it does show

that like what I say because I didn't say all I didn't say all bad things, of course, because I said things that are that I will say to your face,

like I want to prove the Baron wrong, and you'll understand what that means when I don't just say things in text, I'll say them to your face.

Because I consider you a friend,

I've blurred the lines, I think, for you

and made it.

See, for me, I'm not sure why they're blurred because for me, the lines are like a fucking runway, you know, an airplane runway.

I'm like, I don't understand how these lines could get blurred.

There's a time to do Tome, Steve, Dave, and laugh, and then there's a time when we're like, okay, that time's over.

Like, that's it, it's over.

And it sometimes

I think that it's harder for you to borderline.

I think

it requires you to understand a cue of this is not the time.

It's almost like I need an on-the-air sign.

We're getting, oh, wow, you know what?

When it's only 30 seconds left and 12 minutes out, I think we are a little bit longer, just a special episode, because I think a lot of people were probably disturbed listening to last night.

And maybe this is like

popping the tension balloon that probably most people are listening to because it goes to show that like

there's

if you're friends with somebody you have to go and

go and make

not not want sacrifice is wrong but you just got to you got to sometimes put it to bed and just move on for the sake of

maintaining a friendship.

Do you think there will be a rash of calls to the stash about dropped phones?

Dropped phones, like people were listening and they got so shocked they dropped the phone.

Uh, I don't know.

I hope

we're not responsible for that.

I don't, yeah, I don't want to, I don't, you know, I don't ever want to revisit that again.

I'm hoping that it's that that will never,

that there'll be never a need for um

for that level of like foolishness on and unnecessary drama because I am at my age, I don't want drama anymore.

I, you're, I'm trying to convey to you how important it is that you keep my life drama-free.

Okay.

So, but talking about, so let's move.

I know we only have, we're over 12 minutes now.

Hopefully, everybody's not turned this off because

they can only stand 12 minutes and no longer.

But I wanted to talk

about that

thing I talked about.

I actually mentioned it on the pod last night, too.

We brought it up.

I didn't give any secrets to what it is, but we did something last week, and you were heavily involved.

As IQ, as

I think, even more young, yes, yes, a lot of people.

But you much more behind the scenes than

it was me, and then you in terms of doing that.

Behind the you first, yes.

But don't discount that you did a lot, and you did

things.

And

I just want honest answers now, because now it is Tom Steve, day of time.

Okay.

I felt a resentment, though, at times when I was pushing you to do the things we needed to do to get that project

to have all the things

in

place to do that project.

I felt at times when I would, like, I almost had to ride you to do it, and almost a little bit of resentment.

Well, I think it was also because I was having so much trouble with my truck and everything.

It was just kind of I had to get that solved first because it was leading to problems and getting the supplies and such.

And then after I got my truck fixed four days later, it broke again.

Okay.

So, but like, you can't get your truck fixed while you're in this, like, while, you know, I mean, you could, you, you're not fixing it, though.

Yeah, but it was, it's my way to get to work and everything.

So, that was, I was getting rides, and, you know, it was, it was a little tough.

I, I wish it didn't have happened the way it did.

I wish, like, that,

that if that chunk of time was not devoted to getting my truck fixed, I would have had more time to, go home and construct the things that I needed to construct.

Right.

Okay.

Because there's a, sometimes it's hard to, well, no, it's not even hard to read.

I can feel like

I am pushing you or like not pushing.

I'm like, I feel like I have to ride you to do it.

And, but then I see how pleased you are with yourself while we're in the middle of doing it.

And I'm like, well, why did it, why did it, why did it have to feel, why did I have to feel like I was almost like, like,

almost like your boss, even in that aspect, though?

Like, like trying to like, like, hey, man, we only have this much amount of time.

We got to do this.

And I would feel a little bit of like,

and I was frustrated, not at you.

It's,

you know, it's

again, when you fork out $1,400 to get your truck fixed, it's

I could have done without that.

I could have done without, like I said, begging people because that frustrated, that, that bothers me, you know, asking my friend Debbie for rides everywhere because she works a full-time job and it's it's she doesn't mind it as much as I think she minds it, but I get very stressed about that.

Because I don't like relying on somebody else.

You know, it's because it's just another way to fail.

Yeah, I understand frustration, like, because like I get, like, when I get frustrated, I

like people heard, I lash out at everything.

And

even though

it sounds like I'm mad at every single person in my life, it's really not.

I'm just mad at certain things

that are

falling out of my control.

And that's when I get really frustrated.

I feel like I have no control.

These things that I'm like, again, it just talking about things I really can't talk about.

And it was like things, the weather wasn't cooperating.

I had to glue some things together, and it was just a horrible conditions for everything to cure properly.

And it's got to cure properly before you can do the next step and then the next step.

So weather delay, it was, you know, it was just, if that time that I was working with my truck was not there, it could have gotten done a lot quicker.

But like,

I feel like I told those guys, I'm like, I don't know if there's anybody on the face of the earth that's going to come to you and say, I need you to be creative.

Is there anybody else going to ask you that?

People ask me to solve problems, that kind of stuff.

I'm talking about art-wise.

No, no one comes to me for art stuff, but if they need a creative.

But you did do art art stuff.

You did art stuff for

this project we did.

You did things that were artistic, creative, and

far beyond someone asking you, who was asking you for fucking advice about problems?

No, no, no, not problems like that.

Problems like.

I'm like, who the fuck is like,

I have a major problem.

Let me go to the fucking guy that

to get them.

No, I'm just on my problems.

Like, something's broken, they need it fixed.

Oh, okay.

Yes.

All right.

Because I was saying, because I don't know, I want

you to feel

involved, and

I think you did feel a bit rewarded

last week when we were doing it.

Oh, yeah.

And

that's what I

want to include you to do.

And that's why I

guess I can become obsessive about it too, though, I guess.

But

that's part of my

persona and my issues, I guess, that

I'll obsess on it until it gets done.

And then, when it's done, it's done.

And I don't want to talk about it or it's over.

I agree with you.

When it was done, you said

you felt like a great weight was lifted off your shoulder.

And I kind of slept a little better that night.

Now, about this project, I can't really talk about it.

I can mention this, though.

We are going to be putting out, for anybody listeners out there who are into making videos or films, commercials,

shorts.

Yeah, we're looking for.

You're very short.

We're looking for parody commercials

or even commercials about real Tellum Steve Dave products or parody Tellum Steve Dave products in the 30-second range.

Maybe like

one of those state, you know, come visit our state, come visit Tesde Town, come visit this part of Tesde Town.

Yeah.

Like a tourism commercial.

Exactly.

Or like, let's say, you know, a bottle dump tourism thing or Q's, what was it?

Q's Bruce?

No, Q's Brews, a commercial about Q's Bruise.

Just clever

BTK binding, that kind of thing.

But we're looking for clever 30-second commercials that we are going to drop into this project we did last week.

And you'll get credit in the movie.

We're going to take the best ones and put them in this project.

And

here's some of the details that if you're interested in sending in something, you have to send your commercial to

it is T-E-S-D-C-H-U-C-K.

T-E-S-D Chuck, like the name, all one word, at gmail.com.

So T-E-S-D-C-H-U-C-K at gmail.com.

And Chuck is going to prefer it in an MP4 format at 1080p.

But he can work other video formats if necessary.

People can upload their files with any method they're comfortable with, including Dropbox, Google Drive, MediaFire, etc.

If you want to submit, but you're not sure how to go about setting the file, feel free to email tsdchuck at gmail.com.

Same address as before.

Yeah, and Chuck will help you out.

This is going to be a great,

cool little thing that we're doing and a chance for you creative types to get involved and make the project even better.

Yeah.

Like,

you want to take something like a real item, tell them it has to be Tellum Steve Dave-centric.

Yes, it's a that's a must, it has to be tied to tell them Steve Dave.

And uh, and we're gonna take in if we're gonna take the best ones, we're gonna put them in there, and you'll be up there

on the big screen, if it were with Get Em Steve Dave on the big screen, um, and Walt, and Walt, and Q, Brian, Brian,

I mean, Mike and Ming, Mike and Ming, Troy, Chris LaDondo, Sunday Jeff, Sunday Jeff, yes, um,

so So

we're almost at double the

12 Minutes in Hell.

24 Minutes in Hell, probably.

This is what it's going to be.

Anything else?

I mean,

I feel like all we did was kind of explain more of what they heard already.

But at least I think people have heard that

it wasn't catastrophic.

Finality.

Game finale.

And a happy ending.

You know, it's like a Disney movie.

Yes.

Got to end on a high note.

Happy note.

You got anything else?

Anything Anything you want?

I mean, before this all happened,

we want to talk about on 12 Minutes of Hell, we had a topic that you really

gave me a lot of info about and is terrifying.

Oh, the eclipse?

Yeah, I mean, Wednesday.

You were four days away from it on Monday.

And I'll be honest with you,

a lot of why I was more receptive to come in today and

put it behind us is because

I'm not sure in four days if we'll be around to even talk about it considering what the things you told me about this eclipse.

I mean this is a one in once in every thousand eclipse.

This has not happened in 99 years in the United States.

So before we had all this technology, before

we were populated like we were, that's the last time something like this happened in the United States and who knows what's going to happen.

I mean you were telling me like it could like this you said that people are thinking this is the this is one of the signals of the end times.

Well yeah there was a I believe it was South Carolina their Department of Emergency Management put out a warning that there could be increased

paranormal activity because of this.

And this is a sanctioned, like government sanctions.

Government sanctions.

Bigfoot sightings might go up.

Lizard people sightings might go up because they're not sure.

And this account was sanctioned.

Yes.

This is a sanctioned South Carolina government account.

I believe it was South Carolina.

I'm not a.

I mean,

I think that was the game changer for me because at first I was like, are you sure?

But then I was like, when you're showing me all these

government sanctions.

Why is this not on the news, though?

Why is there no one talking about it?

Only four days away.

It could be to prevent a.

Do we know what time it's going to happen on Monday?

I believe early in the morning.

So.

And are you planning to be up?

Are you going to be up there?

I'll probably be here at work.

Why?

You're not here early in the morning?

What?

Well, I'll be out with the horses.

Yes, this came from the

South Carolina.

Yep, South Carolina, Department of Emergency Management.

And it's got a blue check?

Yep.

Yep.

I can't believe that.

What's the response to that?

They're the first state to go on record and reveal that

this is not your normal

everyday.

No, it's not.

It has not happened in the United States in

99 years.

Are you going to look?

And we've been told not to look at the sun, right?

They've been told not to look at the sun.

Amazon, for some reason, has been taking down the eclipse glasses that were for sale.

They're claiming it's because they're cheaply made Chinese garbage, but I think it's something possibly more sinister.

And they're advising people to go view the eclipse in large numbers.

I got to be honest, I am not going to go out outside when it's happening.

I'm going to find out what the hours are in between, and I can guarantee I'll be if I'm if I happen to be here.

Well, we know we have the basement here, unlike at your house.

Right, right?

Well, I will be in the basement, and I will, and when it's how long will it last?

Uh, they say it should take seven minutes to cross the United States.

Yeah, I won't be, I will be,

we should do a seven minutes from hell

during the eclipse.

Hopefully, the phone will work and record it.

You know, I'm all kidding aside, though.

I mean, this is crazy shit, and um, I was not aware that it was even happening until you told me.

I don't know why the real

media is not, I mean, I know why.

I mean, there's some real fucking crazy shit going on.

But this is like there, this is going under the radar, and I hope it's not, you know, I hope it's not done on purpose that, because it does feel like the end of times at times.

There's so much crazy shit going on, and people are speaking and doing things that are like

bizarre.

Bizarre, and

so that's also one of the reasons why.

Well, they say the moon affects moods and everything.

So this will be the moon crossing in front of the sun.

So who knows what kind of gravity, wavy thing it could do that might mess with our brains.

And like I said, it's one of the reasons why I was more open to being like, let's bury this and let's forget this because, you know, we may not be here after the eclipse.

We had that discussion.

But if we are, though, you know.

We had that discussion with Christopher the other day about the pineal gland.

and about the calcification because of the fluoride.

And he was telling us how bad all the fluoride and everything was and how it's affecting our minds.

Chris, who?

From Crew.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.

But that had to do with eclipse.

Well, I'm saying all these ways could affect the different parts of the brain, especially because, as you said, the fluoride's no good for the pineal glands.

You're jumping from eclipses to pineatal glands.

What I'm just saying is it could have an effect on that.

All right, so

what is your recommendation to listeners?

Don't go out and look at the sun on Monday?

I definitely would not, I'm sure.

It can sear your eyes, right?

Yes, it can damage your eyes.

Damage your eyes and

your sight permanently.

You can go blind.

I'm not sure about total blinds, but you could go partially blind and have that.

I feel it's irresponsible that the media

hasn't come out and warned people.

And I feel like

this 12 Minutes in Hell is

not only

a little bit of healing for us, but it's also like a little PSA because you're not getting this from your local news.

You're not getting this from CNN or Fox News or anything else like that.

They're just concerned about

this fucking crazy world.

All right, well,

that's it.

Wow.

It was 28 minutes in hell.

Wow.

I'm sure.

Well,

next week we got to do then?

Maybe not.

Maybe do two minutes.

Since we didn't record the week before.

Did we?

We didn't do it?

No, because we were doing the big thing last week.

Yeah, but we didn't do no no episode, though.

Oh, okay.

Well, okay.

Yeah.

All right.

Well.

we want 12 Minutes in Hell to have a better.

And this, yeah, yeah, I felt this one was so important.

It actually, I asked Ecluin to put it before the music.

Oh, wow.

That's how important this one was.

This will be the most talked about

episode ever, our third episode.

I think this is the making K

of 12 Minutes in Hell.

Well, at least it's not the clip show.

Do we have an out for this?

Is there like a, I can't remember now.

I don't think we've had an out.

No.

I think you just counted down, you said that's enough time, and then ended it.

Alright.

Out.

Before we go, just send out a request for some prayers and well wishes.

Thoughts and prayers?

Thoughts and prayers, a lot of prayers

for Declan who was in feelings.

Feeling ill again.

Oh,

thank you.

I'll hear on my deathbed again for the third time this week.

Declan,

please don't die.

The way you produce and this audio makes me wanna cry.

And all the little things you do, little things you banjo thunderclaps.

Just wanted you to know

anyone who hates you can blow.

Do not question

my net decklin.

There's no use heckling

Cause he needs weight

Make fun of his car

that we just hope you get better

in time for the good weather to get to the dizzy showers

Just wait for the creaky signal.

Just wait for the creaky signal.

Just wait for the creaky signal.

Do not question, just wait for the creaky signal.

My man deckland, just wait for the creaky signal.

There's no use heckling, just waiting.

My man deckland.

Creaky cares, motherfucker.

Do not question, just wait for the creaky signal.

My man been deadlined, just wait for the creaky signal.

There's no use red land, just wait for the creeky signal.

Cause you need sweat, just wait for the creaky signal.

This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir only at Smodcast.com.