#338: Fevered Morphine Dreams

I wouldn't mind some of that fucking cock flying my way.

You know why?

I love tits and dragons?

I want hot pants.

I want fucking hot pants.

I do.

I want thigh-eye boots!

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Walt is here.

I'm here, of course.

And Q, shockingly, is not at the all-female screening of Wonder Woman.

I thought for sure you would be there

identifying as a chick.

No, I wouldn't go.

Dude, I would not go because they have identified their needs and desires, and to see Wonder Woman without any males around.

Who am I not to respect that?

I don't know.

Why would you want to go?

Why would I want to go?

Why would any male want to go to that?

Okay.

Let's examine this.

Okay.

This is the political part of the show.

I know people love it.

Yeah.

When we talk politics.

Okay, you've got the one side, right?

Yeah.

You've got the I've seen, I read about this, the all-female screening.

Yep.

The whiny guys who are like, not fair.

What if we did this with all guys?

Right.

AKA people who fucking got nothing better going on in their own lives.

Not totally without merit.

You can't say that.

Completely without merit.

Nah, you can't say that.

Why?

Because if it's all about equality.

Not about it.

Like, I think a true feminist might be like, no, there shouldn't be an all-female screening, right?

But we haven't achieved equality.

So, like, why?

No.

Going to movie-wise?

Going movie-wise?

Cinematically?

Going to a movie.

Well, yeah, it doesn't cost more, like, ticket prices are still the same, right?

For have you ever had a fucking woman buy you a ticket to a movie, Walt?

Yeah, you have, yeah.

Before I've almost with your money,

yeah, no, no, but I was dating, yeah, yeah.

My wife bought definitely Erstein sprawl, I didn't have, yeah, I'd fucking marry someone if they bought a movie ticket, too.

That's just a kind word.

Today.

I was making like 50 bucks a week.

I was like, so she was for her hand was forced.

She was like, I want to see the movie.

She wanted to see a movie.

This fucking gutto-ass motherfucker ain't going to pay.

Who cares?

No.

But you can see if somebody was like, well,

if

we did this and blah, blah, blah, and everything has to be equal, it's not completely without merit.

That being said, do I give a fuck?

Absolutely not.

Because what you have to realize is, like, first off,

I believe guys and girls should be doing different shit at times, right?

Of course.

What girl wants to go out with her friends to a bar or whatever, hang out with the girls and talk, and a boyfriend comes along?

No, it's just not the same.

Right.

It's just not the same.

No.

And the same goes for guys.

Sometimes you do all girl shit, sometimes you do all guy shit.

These girls want to have a fucking old woman, Wonder Woman screening.

Who gives a fuck?

But people care.

Here's where, oh, they do.

Here's where the Alamo may run into trouble.

You have to identify as a woman.

But in today's world, you can't even really ask, right?

Like, I walk in there.

If they even ask me if I identify as a woman,

suddenly I'm suing somebody.

Yeah.

It's troublesome.

It's a tightrope.

It's a tightrope.

And you better fucking learn to walk it.

Me?

Yeah.

I'm all for it.

That hope they go.

We know fucking Q can walk a tightrope.

Fucking, I told you.

I told you this.

I know.

I know.

That footage looked fucking weird.

It was a wide shot.

All jerky.

Shot from 100 miles away.

You look great.

The money shot somehow was shot fucking a mile away.

And I learned from him how to walk a tightrope, not literally.

Right.

The metaphorical tightrope, which you feel I did not walk these last few days on Twitter?

No, not at all.

I felt

you were harming the brand.

The TSC brand.

I did.

In my heart of hearts, I felt you were harming the brand.

Really?

Yeah.

I agree, Walt.

What I think that this show, I think when Tellum Steve Dave ultimately wraps it up many decades from now.

I sure fucking hope so.

Two weeks, two weeks of being away.

Oh, my God.

I'm ready to kill myself.

No, no, no.

We went last week.

I know.

Didn't count, right, because Q wasn't here.

I hear you.

No, it counts if you're here.

Gidum is a distant second to Q.

No, come on.

Distant second?

Yeah.

I mean, that's being kind to get him.

I mean, I like Giddam, but.

Okay, distant fifth.

So I think in the end,

when it all wraps up and people have the entire catalog to listen to, I think that what they're going to see is telling Steve Dave at the end of the day is a show about the evolution of three men from troglodytes.

But

some

people say

some are evolving on TSD, me, and some are devolving, Bri.

Yeah, some are keeping it real.

Like me.

Like if I think something, I say it.

I'm not like.

Keeping it real.

Keeping it real, angry, and pissy.

Yeah.

That's all you said.

I do have to say, though, I know you said this.

Yeah.

And Q thought I was unhinged.

But

as I was tweeting stuff about this.

Well, I didn't think about this.

I was about to say, how fucking bored is this guy?

Like, nothing better to do.

You're closer, Joey.

But this Chelsea Clinton character says something about the Manchester attacks.

I point something out.

A couple people got mad.

These people, all young white guys.

And you're going to claim your response to her didn't sound angry?

Didn't you use curses in it?

Yeah, so what?

I curse all the time.

I curse at Sage.

Doesn't mean I'm mad.

Yeah,

to go out of your way, though, to curse, though, in it.

To Chelsea Clinton.

She is.

I thought you you guys were pals.

We are.

You're not.

We have a contentious relationship, Chelsea Clinton.

I don't know if she sees it this way.

I think after that, because every day it's something different.

Hey, here's the fucking topic of the day that I care about.

Hey, here's the topic of the day.

Why are you following her then?

I don't know, man.

I'm a fucking masochist.

She's a politician.

What are you expecting?

Is she, though?

She's not a politician.

She's a daughter of a politician.

One day she'll be a politician.

She's due

to

politics.

She's still in the due diligence.

What's that?

She's been raised by politicians.

Right.

I haven't, which is why I'm so fucking ignorant and yelling and angry.

That's why I don't know how to walk a tightrope.

Plus my immense carriage.

Yeah, you'll get there.

That's what I'm saying.

We're all going to have

to lighten.

But

I've gotten some

concerned emails that he definitely is taking steps back from where he was when Talem Steve Steve Dave started.

He did feel like he was the voice of

this

generation.

He felt like he was like

me and Lena Dunham.

We both have the same body type.

They felt like he was

somebody that like his viewpoints were very much echoed by our audience in the beginning, I feel.

And then something along the way,

a lot of people have said, you turned and it's not the same voice anymore.

I would argue with that.

Yeah, I'd love to hear this.

I would say, because, you know, Owen Benjamin,

good friend of the show and whatnot, he said that he, when he was living in LA, he went from being a super liberal to a fucking, to being considered

right-wing.

And he goes, and my views did not change at all.

He's like, society got so radical and the fucking, the whiny fucking mouthy fucking look at me look at me i'm i i'm politically correct assholes change the course of everything that so much that previously liberal people who like common sense like stuff now look fucking like

like they lean right did you but did you ever stop to consider maybe you weren't because you could you probably consider yourself a liberal right yeah but i always have and you could consider yourself a liberal right yeah but maybe you really really weren't though did you ever start to think maybe you just thought maybe you're a moderate.

Well, you can only go based upon what you say, though, right?

Right.

But

I don't see what I said that was wrong.

You didn't say anything that was wrong.

You were right.

But what I said was 100% correct.

Right.

But if people don't agree with it, because they want to argue, like, oh, well,

this is what she said.

It's like, no, that's not what she said.

But you can't be correct.

Oh, it's semantics.

No,

she said something.

Look, I tweeted.

Okay,

in case you weren't on Twitter.

twitter uh chelsea clinton's uh retweeted uh an article and quoted something about the manchester attacks saying that there's something especially cruel about targeting young girls to which

i say this is bullshit

because why is it especially cruel if it's young girls target children to target no not children you're one of them semantics no it is not semantics young girls why then why not say children if that's what you meant then why not say children well she i mean i don't know is it okay

then answer this truthfully though okay is that point to make

worth

harming the tsd brand

yes oh it is and i'll tell you why oh my gosh because i keeps it reels

yes you better believe it

there's no i said one thing i you did not say one thing i said one thing to her dropped it you didn't drop it i did drop it Other people came at me.

But you continue to

piss gasoline on the fire.

If there's not somebody of the three of us to fucking

pour gasoline and light matches.

Like that monk.

I'm no less a hero and martyr than that monk that burned himself up on Twitter.

I say that, like, he's right.

Chelsea Clinton's full of shit.

All she does is say whatever she thinks is right for that day and then moves on to fucking the next thing.

But at right oh,

what cost, though?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

You finish your oh.

It was, what was it, climate change, and this might get you mad.

Climate change and child marriage are somehow interconnected, which makes no sense.

Doesn't make me mad because I don't even know what you're talking about.

I don't know.

Nobody does because it doesn't make any sense.

But at what point,

if you lost, because we don't, we'll never know what the ramifications were from that, but I saw a lot of people upset and annoyed and were like, I'm done.

I'm out.

What would be the point where you'd be like, wow, I probably shouldn't have gone on that ran.

We lost possibly,

you can't really put a number on it, though, or it doesn't matter.

No, I mean, look, if we lost a huge number of people, it would be because I said something so fucked up and so wrong.

Like, look, there was a guy who, like, of all the shit I've said over seven years, there's a guy who was in a twist because I said something about Seth Rich.

Well, his parents don't want people talking about it.

It's like, well, tough shit.

Yeah, who gives a shit what his parents want?

Yeah, I mean, Seth Rich still.

No, it's still.

This one is, this one, I could see both sides of this argument, though.

Who Seth Richard?

Seth Rich is.

I don't read the news anymore.

He was your brother.

I came upon it a day or two before we did Overkill.

I was like, oh, here.

Because I was looking at Listverse.

Here's a conspiracy.

It's a guy who was murdered who.

An American?

An American who was murdered in the streets of Washington who

is rumored to have been the person who gave WikiLeaks

all the DNC emails, which caused

her great harm in the election,

all the emails.

Now, the conspiracy is that he was killed for that action, obviously, by the Democratic Party put a head out on him.

Outlandish conspiracy, but if that's what Overkill

is, if Overkill is about conspiracies, weird shit,

it seems like some people would be like, well, we could talk, you could talk about murderous conspiracies, but not ones that are current.

It seems like if it's too current, it's a real thing.

You can talk about real men.

You can talk about killman.

It seems like that one really touched the nerve and made people angry.

But you've got to understand, though, that

a parent's heartache of their child is killed and then and then like one side, and the right definitely is,

is pushing that

conspiracy.

And they feel like

their son is being used as a pawn to make

in a shitty, shitty game.

Okay.

First off, those parents aren't listening to tell them, Steve Dave.

I'm pretty sure, right?

They're not.

So it's really as if it was never said to begin with.

The The big deal that this guy made about it is like, okay, so this, for whatever reason, this is personal to you.

You think that, like, in your opinion, nobody should ever talk about Seth Rich.

And the investigation's still fucking open.

Why wouldn't you then talk about it?

Any possible reason that this guy was shot.

Oh, but there's put it above political people to fucking

do like fucked up shit.

But there's as much evidence that he was killed in a conspiracy as there is that, like, you know, that Martians did it.

But there's

Martians didn't do it, but so it's still.

You think that there's more of a chance that a Martian killed Seth Rich

than someone from the DNC?

I haven't seen any of the investigations, though.

Have you ever seen a fucking Martian?

That doesn't mean there aren't Martians.

That's true.

That's true.

He was actually on that episode of Overkill the Martian.

But, yeah,

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't even feel like we talk about politics that much.

Hardly ever.

We've been for a while.

We got out of it.

Can we bring just one more political topic up before we move on, though?

Sure.

Did you see the picture of

Kathy Griffith, the comedian with the head of Trump?

Yeah.

Oh, is she.

You didn't see it?

I didn't see any pictures, but she's a CNN correspondent.

No, she's a comedian, Kathy.

She's a comedian.

and she worked for CNN one night a year on New Year's Eve.

She lost the job because

she said something about sucking dick or something weird.

Oh, no, she didn't lose because of that.

I thought she made some off-color remarks.

She was holding Donald Trump's.

A realistic head.

This is just recently.

Yes, he had it.

Yeah, yes.

Oh, okay.

It's a big fallout, big fallout.

So, if I mean, you really you really don't have you can't really have much feelings on it.

You don't even know what we're talking about then?

Uh no, I can develop an opinion like that.

But, you know, she

she

delivered a pretty heartfelt apology, but you know, she, but they still fired her, though.

Well, of course, she's sorry after it's like

she didn't lose her job before the apology.

Okay.

She lost a job after the apology.

So, why did she take the picture?

Like, what was it for?

I'm pretty sure she's extremely anti-forged herself or

that I got.

That part I got.

But I was saying, like, was it for magazine or was it for her Instagram?

I'm sure it was just for the, like, to get it up on the internet and to get people, you know, to get a reaction and to get, you know,

what you want to do.

Well, I mean, oh, it's art?

That's what she called it?

I mean, who's to say it's not?

I mean, it's no in the eye of it.

Art is completely subjective, but that's what you say when you're like, oh, fuck, I shouldn't have taken that picture.

But, I mean, how do you feel about like, you see, because I kind of

the only one here that has ever had to issue an apology

publicly online.

No, I had to apologize for the Ching Chong song.

Did you?

To who?

To who?

To Ming.

On the air?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

It was offensive.

Oh, boy.

So we both know.

So me and you both know what it's like to have to go on.

What did you apologize for?

Remember a couple of years,

about seven years ago, I got a lot of backlash about it and I said women weren't funny.

I never met

a female that I thought was funny.

Right.

And I had to think of it.

And you apologize

on Twitter.

Because why do you apologize?

Because

I didn't expect that.

Because you're wrong.

Because you're wrong.

I was wrong.

Have you met females that are funny?

Yeah, who have you met since then?

What female have you met that you think is funny?

Well, I mean,

it was apology number two.

No, I was so wrong because

given at least a little bit of thought, I named like six or seven that I'm funny.

That's right, I remember that.

I could name numerous females that were funny.

But in the heat of the moment.

You know,

Yeah.

But like, you know how

it's, and it's a proven scientific fact when you're in a room with all dudes in the testosterone, is that right?

That's not my case, yeah.

It gets up, amped up, and I, you know, and you start to do things you wouldn't do because you're in a room with all dudes.

So I said things that were, you know, I got all amped up and I had to go back and apologize.

It should be us apologizing.

We're sorry we got them so worked up.

All the fucking testosterone in the room, let them say these things.

You know, you get caught up in

that

group mentality.

Right.

And I said, I don't want to say, here's the thing.

I don't remember us saying women weren't funny.

So I know I didn't say it.

I know, me neither.

In fact, I think I named a few.

I was trying to distance myself.

No, no, no.

I take full responsibility.

And

I am so happy.

And so blessed that the audience

were able to

forgive me for that.

And they didn't hold against me, and I didn't pay a price.

And I, and I, except for your dignity, which is yes, I know.

You handed in your testosterone when I fucking apologized.

Not at all, man.

I learned the errors of my ways.

And

I would never look back.

I'd never look back in the rearview mirror.

I feel like a real schmuck because I remember going online and defending your right to say that, if that's the way you felt.

Little did I know.

You're meanwhile fucking crafting a fucking carefully worded apology to fucking suck everyone's assholes.

No, not at all.

Not at all.

I was wrong, and then I said things that I truly didn't realize I didn't even believe in.

Right.

You know, at the time when I said it, I was.

I was with the two manliest men I know.

Exactly.

I don't get to hang out with a lot with the guys.

So then when I get in a room with the guys, I feel like I got to amp it up.

You had to impress them.

Finally,

talk to me.

Guess what I think?

Me and Quinn are like, hey, we were grabbing some pussies.

You're like, hey, I don't think girls are funny.

You're like, yeah.

I mean,

90% of my life is spent in a house with all women.

So then when

I get in an environment with all dudes, I feel...

I just laugh once that whole time.

Get in here.

Look at you.

It's a desert of laughter.

Oh, not at all.

I meant that I just feel like

I got to bring up my man game.

And I thought stupidly that up in my man game was saying something dopey like that.

Like something anti-woman.

Right.

So I understand

what she's going through right now a little bit.

Not at her level, but I understand

the embarrassment and the regret of doing something.

You're identifying with a lot of people two weeks ago who's fucking Lil Bow Wow.

That's right.

Yeah.

That's what the internet is for, to fucking jump on people.

Whatever Little

Market.

Do you remember the Lil Bow Wow incident?

I'm sure it's died down by now, right?

I'm sure it's

even quicker than my Seth Rich comment.

But do you remember when the episode of Happy Days, when Fonzie kept saying

he was going away for Christmas?

It was an early episode.

And he goes, oh, I got this big family going down to the lake.

You know, everybody's there.

It's unbelievable.

We put turkey, we eat this out, we do this, we do this, we do this.

And then Richie caught him eating a fucking can of beans on a hot plate.

Giddam's like, I don't see the problem.

On Christmas.

And he realized that

Fonzie was lying.

Yeah, I remember that one.

Isn't that Lil Bow Wow?

Shouldn't he have been met with the same kind of sympathy that Fonzie got from

James?

Why?

Why?

Not even close.

Why?

It's the same exact thing.

No, because Fonzi was fucking embarrassed that he didn't have a family and was too ashamed to tell people that nobody cared about him.

Little Bow Wow is like, look how much fucking better I am than you.

Look how much more money I have than you.

Look how much fucking more extravagantly I live than you.

You are less than me.

Fonzi thought he was less than them and couldn't bring himself to say it.

So no, Lil Bow Wow

is not fucking the same as the

no fucking way.

I agree with him.

I think that's a good point.

Yeah, that's a good point.

All right, I agree with him too.

Am I going to get an apology?

None of this changed the fact that, Walt, I'm happy to report Wonder Woman is fucking great.

Is it?

Can I just take one second to say that when I write something about you being on the West Coast for three days and this is what you turn into?

That's what's known as a joke.

That's what's known as ball breaking.

No, not for you.

Yeah.

I need to explain this to some other people who evidently take that as me being anti-woman.

But holy fucking shit.

That's why when I threw in that fucking, when I was going backing it and I was like, oh, so are we getting dinner tonight?

I was like, this is people are going to know we're kidding, right?

And then people don't know you're kidding.

I'm like,

I don't get it.

Yeah.

Is it the best DC movie so far?

Yes.

Ooh, really?

Yeah,

in the new universe for sure.

What's the previous

started with

Man of Steel?

Man of Steel.

Batman Verse Superman, Suicide Squad.

Really?

And

it exceeded your expectations?

It's legit great.

It's like it's fucking

Christopher Reeve.

Fucking great, dude.

It's awesome.

There's not a dead spot in the movie.

It's like, it's fucking great.

And it does it so well.

My problem with Star Wars with Force Awakens, aside from killing Han Solo, which is how Rey was just fucking, oh, a lightsaber?

Now I could fight a Jedi.

Oh, the Millennium Falcon.

I could fly this.

I don't need help running.

You know what I mean?

Shit like that.

Like all that shit.

I don't need help running.

Yeah.

Is it really going to hold her hand or something?

Oh, yeah.

She's like, I know how to run.

It's like, all right, we got it.

And like 10 of them in the fucking first like 20 minutes of the movie, like how Rey can do everything.

Like this,

I was so impressed that she's a little kid, and they're like, you train her fucking 10 times harder than everybody.

And the first 20 minutes of the movie is her getting her ass kicked.

And Paradise Island?

Yeah.

Is it called Paradise Island?

Yeah.

Well, they call it

their mosquito.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but they do refer to it as Paradise Island.

And then.

Man, can man step foot on it?

Oh, man does step foot on it.

And it doesn't take away their powers?

No, the way they do it is, I don't want to give it away.

I hear that's why the Alamo won't let Gaison down screen.

It's cool, man.

The way

they make it why no one's ever found the island before.

They give explanations for everything.

And then they show her learning how to be Wonder Woman.

And then, like, so when she goes and fucking does things, you're like, well, this makes sense.

Like, it makes sense why she's kicking ass.

Because you've seen her train for the exact moves that she's doing later on.

And then they also do this great thing where it's like Chris Pine, who's the, you know, Chris Captain Kirk, who's the male lead.

Steve Trevor.

Yeah, Steve Trevor is never like a bumbling male.

You know what I mean?

They weren't like, well, now men are stupid.

And now he's just as much as he doesn't become Lois Lane, like tied to a railroad track.

No, not at all.

Not at all.

She saves him from here and there, but in a superhero way.

Like, it's fucking cool, man.

The action's well done.

Like, it's great.

It's a great movie.

What do you predict, box office?

It's going to like

huge, huge.

Awesome.

It's too good not to.

It's too good not to.

DC Smith on a roll, man.

Suicide Squad.

I know people, some say they don't like it, but I mean, it was a big hit for them.

Yeah.

This will be bigger than than that, and it's, it's,

you're gonna lie, you're gonna love it.

I thought of you several times while I was watching.

I was like, he's gonna love it.

Because I know you're not even like the biggest Wonder Woman.

No, no, I'm not the biggest.

She's had a kind of

patchy.

I don't know.

I don't want to have to issue any apologies.

I mean, she's not funny.

We all know that.

Well, she doesn't crack jokes in the movie.

I'll give you that.

She doesn't?

No.

Oh, that's funny.

That's shocking.

She's hysterical.

That

I like.

I like when the hero is serious.

There's humor in it, but it comes naturally.

There's no joking.

Whoa.

Holy shit.

You just ripped the arm off a chair.

Are you sure you're not fucking

a Wonder Man?

Really?

Look at him go.

So

it's fucking really good.

And Spud from Train Spottings.

I didn't know that.

Oh, really?

He's like one of the, like, he's like the third main character for Ewan Bremer, I think his name is.

I don't remember.

but when I saw him, I was like, holy fuck, it's Spud.

You don't look great.

He doesn't look like young Spud anymore.

Young Spud didn't even look that great.

Have you been a Wonder Woman fan in the comics?

Can you point to any period where you're like, Wonder Woman right now is so good?

I know there's been really acclaimed creators on it, like Ruka.

Rucka, the first run of Rukka, where they turned her into Zeus's daughter, I thought was great.

The Trinity, like, I like her in, even though she's kind of a bad guy in the Injustice universe, I like her in that.

I like, and

Kingdom Kong, too.

I like it when she's a fucking badass warrior.

And that's what the movie kind of did.

So you didn't like her when she was fighting like Egg Fu?

I'm not really into it.

It was a giant Asian egg.

Egg Fu Young?

Is that what you say?

No, actually.

Egg Fu, I think, is the villain's name.

It was just a giant Asian egg.

That's really what it was.

And it's, it's a.

Do you remember how the first Captain America was a straight-up war movie?

Yeah.

This is a war movie.

It didn't World War I, right?

World War I, but it's a war movie.

Like up until like the superheroes kind of come in in the end, but up until that point, it's a fucking war movie.

I'm excited because it's not World War II, which I think has been done to death.

It seems like there's not a lot of good World War I movies.

It's weird to see the Germans be the bad guys and not be Nazis.

That took an adjustment.

I was like, these guys are fucking Nazis.

And they weren't Nazis yet.

It was fun.

Great movie.

What is she dressing?

Like, what's her outfit?

She, no, like the classic Wonder Woman outfit.

They didn't, like, they didn't give her leggings and like long sleeves and shit like that.

Golden.

She's so sexy, though.

Golden.

Oh, fuck, dude.

Like, she looks so good.

It's like insane.

Because that's a tightrope, too, now, right?

You want to make her sexy, but not too sexy.

She is.

I have now met her three times in person, and she's

just, I mean, she doesn't look like a human.

Like, she's so gorgeous.

You're just like, oh, fuck this.

But I mean, but in the art direction, though, like, in the movie direction, it's like you want to make her

sexy, but

you don't want any kind of at this point, you want her to be

not have any resort to any kind of cheesecake.

No, nothing like that.

And there is, like, flirtation between her and Steve Trevor, but even that's handled, like, really well.

We have the same conversation at the beginning of every season of comic book men with me.

Like, sexy, not too sexy.

We don't want them doing cheesecake.

Yeah, it's, it's going to.

It opens very soon, right?

I think it opens Friday.

Yeah, this weekend.

That's what what Sage wanted to go.

I was gonna take her last week, and then it was pirates.

Like, they don't hide from anything.

The only thing they don't have in it is the invisible jet, but there was no place for it.

It would have been impossible, right?

And in this day,

the director said in the sequel that she wants to bring the invisible jet in somehow.

They make everything work.

The lasso works so fucking cool.

I almost

pull the curtain back a little here and really shock the listeners.

I'm going to apologize before I say something.

But I'm on a show about comic books.

I've read comic books my whole life, and I'm not sure the logistics.

Like, how is it that Wonder Woman can see and operate the invisible jet?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know that either.

The Wonder Woman.

She's been around for a while, so it should be explained, right?

Yeah, like, how is her eyes able to see everything, though?

Like, when you've got to flip the switch and

do all the things you got to do to get a jet in the air.

Because she's just a human being, right?

No, no, no.

She's from Amazon.

She was made from clay.

Oh, was she?

Yeah.

In the original story, now she's.

Oh, you know what?

I'll do a little old school.

Like, my favorite Wonder Woman era of comics is the George Perez ones in the 80s.

Oh, yeah.

Well, then she looked like a fucking porn star back then.

She had like the earrings with the stars.

I didn't notice.

No.

When she was like a secretary for the fucking Justice League.

Busting out of her shirt.

Let me show you what the George Perez was.

No, George Perez did not.

His was all about Greek mythology and shit.

He was not, he was not doing like.

She's a goddess, right?

Yeah.

I mean, in that costume, I mean.

Come on.

You can't deny.

I'm sorry, my testosterone got away from me.

I mean, that's like trying to deny nature, isn't it?

Oh, of course.

That's what everybody has to do, though.

Tits, front, and center.

Oh, my God.

Really?

I see.

Yeah, I don't see it that way.

That seems like nobody had

a girl open.

I agree to

yeah that seems like nobody had the conversation with george like look sexy but not too sexy

she looks 14

i disagree wholeheartedly

she looks good yeah she looks hot she's always but you go go look at the rucka one go look at the rucka art no i'm with you dude not that he did but i don't know uh jg jones right yeah come on well they come on no rucka was the guy when he lost me is when they put her in those fucking long sleeves and the fucking long pants i was like oh fuck this pandering, and I just stopped reading it.

That's what I'm saying.

It looks like Hillary in a pants suit.

Oh, dude.

Like, there was this whole thing.

Hold on.

It's when I stopped reading.

I was like, I'm not fucking supporting this shit.

I'm just not doing this.

Bring George Perez back.

Yeah, like,

I'm fucking, I'm fine with fucking keeping her like the fucking.

I want hot pants.

I want the fucking hot pants.

I do.

I want thigh i boat.

No, I don't mind making her.

I'm on her feet around the comic bookstore on the island.

I don't mind making her the fucking

young Q voice.

Look at that shit.

Yeah.

It's a Burka.

Why the fuck is she wearing pants?

No, young Q.

Oh, young Q.

Hey!

Why the fuck is she wearing pants?

I want thigh highs and tits out, just like George Perez used to do.

You're gonna like this.

It was shit like this.

Look at this article, like when it came out.

Exclusive, one, the woman's new costume is fierce, fabulous, and deadly.

And it's like, finally, she covers up.

And I'm just like, oh, like, I'm not, I don't want to read it.

Not even because the storyline of the art.

Like, I just don't, I hate that fucking, like, the fucking pandering.

But as if, like, male superheroes are any different, right?

Oh, but like, the number of the number of girls, though, that, like, who's the, who's the Thor guy?

What's his name?

Thor.

Thor?

No, in the movies.

What his real name?

Oh, the actor.

Chris Hemsworth?

Chris Hemsworth.

The number of girls who leave a fucking, like, when they're talking about Chris Hemsworth, leave a fucking trail of pussy juice on the floor because they think he's hot.

There's nothing wrong with that.

He is hot.

He is hot.

I mean, he's basically a perfect human being, right?

It's like Tom Brady,

Chris Hemsworth.

Jesus Christ, he still hasn't gotten his bowls back.

We don't have a lot of money.

I want to make it a little bit more diverse.

Can someone help me?

I want to make it a little bit more diverse.

I just want to name another white Kevin.

Kevin Hart.

Another white guy.

I don't want to name another white guy.

Hendris Alba.

All right.

Oh, Heidris Alba is fucking hunky.

All right.

That's their part.

Yeah, Chris Harris.

And Black as Night.

I was going to start writing a list of apologies that are going to have to be made.

Why?

Did I get to apologize for that for saying he's hot?

Well, Black as Night is hot.

Why is that racist?

But yeah, that's the guy that all the girls go to and salivate every.

Or Norm, Ritus, you know, same thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's okay.

What'd you say?

It's a sex symbol.

That's the thing.

It's okay.

It's fucking natural.

You see a fucking woman, you're like, oh, wow, she's hot.

Oh, girl, she's a guy.

Oh, wow, he's hot.

It's okay to fucking say that.

If that's where you drop.

You're not wanting to cover up.

If that's where you draw the line and you don't get more vulgar

and you're just objectifying.

What do you mean?

Oh, you mean they're not objectifying Chris Hemsworth running around or Channing Tatum or any number of other guys that are running around with their shirts off.

Now, I don't want to speak for women, but I would think from the women that I'm in contact with, if they think Chris Hemsworth is attractive,

they're not going to be doing the vile things that most men are doing in their minds.

Okay, so you're saying they're not going to be like, I wouldn't mind some of that fucking cock flying my way.

I wouldn't mind that hammer coming down on me.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I think there's the difference.

That's not the way men are built.

Not all men.

Most men.

But also, Q right here, you're just like, she doesn't even look like a human being.

She's so beautiful.

You didn't get vulgar.

Right, yes.

But we don't know what was in his head, though.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

No, even fucking.

And believe me, I look at plenty of women and I'm like, there's a lot of fucking sick shit going through my head.

This one is like, it would be like looking at it.

Like, she's just so far out of any fucking humans league that I can't even imagine.

But, like, you're at the.

rubbing my dick on the Mona Lisa.

It's like you don't want to do it.

I don't deserve this.

I don't deserve it.

I don't even want to.

I feel dirty even sick.

Are you attracted to the Mona Lisa?

Because I've never felt like it was a good time.

No, but it's a work of art, is what I mean.

It's like a fucking treasure, a worldwide treasure.

That's Galga, though.

Although, I got to be honest, when she was in the Fast and Furious movie, that was probably a little bit like.

You did some vile stuff in your head?

Probably, yeah.

I mean,

I guess the answer is yes.

A lot of you good people.

This is the testosterone, though.

Yeah,

this is how it starts.

It's starting to build.

It's going in a place we don't want it to go.

You brought up Idris Alba.

But

all right, so you're a thumbs up totally.

Two thumbs up.

I'm going to go see it this weekend.

I'll tell you my review.

I can't imagine

anybody not liking this movie.

It's that good.

It's going to be universally praised by Comic Book fans.

I believe so.

And non-comic book fans.

It's so good, dude.

It's so good.

It's the launch of

a franchise.

Without a doubt.

Without a doubt.

And she was good in the small snippets she was in the Superman.

Yeah, I want to go back and re-watch that with this in the background.

And then

Sunday is a spoiler.

I'll talk about it once the movie's out.

So, what do you got?

Well, you got tons of shit.

I got a lot of stuff, yeah.

I mean, I don't want to,

I'm ready.

I'm ready to dive in.

But I had one last update.

This is the final update from, remember

the Game of Thrones, dude?

Peter Dinklage?

No, no.

Remember the listener who couldn't watch the Game of Thrones?

Oh, yes, yes.

He broke up with him?

He killed himself.

No, he got out of that.

Oh,

I guess

this is the final update we will ever have on it.

You want to guess what the update was?

Yeah, he had to get out of that.

He's out of the relationship,

you're guessing, out of the relationship, Ry?

Last we heard he had conceded to his girlfriend's demands, and

it turned out she was

depressed or something, right?

Wasn't that it?

Which are we all?

Yeah, I know.

She was depressed, and that's why she didn't want him seeing tits.

So what finally happened,

I think in any kind of fucking realistic and just world, they are not.

together anymore.

Finally, he was like...

Or maybe hopefully she came out of the depression and was like, tits are everybody, tits all around.

Given though, you know what?

I may change my answer because now I'm remembering him, and a guy like that

and saying this is the last update means that he's marrying her and he can't listen to Telling Steve Dave anymore.

That's you're right.

Yeah, that shocked me.

So, judgemental.

Wait, I mean, the way he was talking, I fully expect he's like, I don't have time for Game of Thrones because I'm going to the all-girl Wonder Woman screen.

You guys are going to look stupid after I read this.

Oh, he got into a room with a couple guys and just tossed her own fucking.

No, no, neither.

I thought I should give an update.

After taking your advice, not Briar Q's,

I stuck through it, and now I'm enjoying Game of Thrones with my girlfriend.

She's hooked on the show and is even reading the books.

Wow.

I just want to thank you guys again, but especially you, Walt.

I really think you should bring back some sort of weekly advice segment because your advice was the best I've gotten.

I can't wait.

Cannot wait until he gets cucked.

I can't wait.

I can't wait until she sees some big old cock on the Game of Thrones.

And then she looks over at him and she's like,

full frontal?

Yeah, there's a cuckoo.

Yeah.

You see

wangs everywhere.

No, there's a lot of

plenty.

Schlongs all plant.

So it's a double-edged sword.

That's not a message.

The Game of Thrones.

They can go both ways.

Now they can both feel fucking insecure and stare at each other the whole time.

So you guys are not happy about that update, are you?

No, I mean, I think

it's great, man.

It's awesome.

I'm so happy about everything.

I just, you know,

the sound of eating crow, right?

No, it does seem like.

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

That's not a sarcasm.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy for him.

No, no, because you're happy for yourself that you're like, I was right.

I was right.

I mean, it's not like I.

Maybe she's not as depressed anymore.

I don't even think it was your advice.

Didn't she listen to our show and got defensive?

I bet we got in ahead.

Brian and I got in our head, and she was like, fuck, I better watch this show.

Yeah, she's like, I better toe the line, man.

Because I'm going to fucking lose this pussy.

Where am I going to find an easily led fucking

chump like this?

Yeah, who else is going to turn turn off a TV just because I'm feeling blue?

And the true colors are shining through.

And this guy, you know what?

I wouldn't be surprised, and I wouldn't blame the guy if he turned off Tell him Steve Dave after hearing that kind of diarrhea fall out of your mouth, and he's just like, just going to watch Game of Thrones and have no more time.

You know what?

I want to reverse my position.

I do.

I don't hope that she sees some cock and she goes crazy for it.

I hope she fucking sees so many tits that she's like, I'm a lesbian.

And then she fucking drops him and hooks up with a girl.

Wow.

Why would that be?

Why would you hope that he was?

Because he wanted to see it so desperately.

He needed to see his tits.

Just had to see him.

He's like literally like a bull.

Doesn't know which way to run when it gets out of the fucking street.

I got like nine spears in my back.

I'm trying to jump into the stands.

He's trying to find something to gorge, and he can't.

And he's just like

eyes are red.

He's just running around looking for anything to fuck him before he fucking finally runs into a brick wall and fucks.

Just confused.

Dude, just look for the red of his fucking pussy bleeding this guy and gore him.

Yeah, really.

Oh, that's right.

Wow.

All right, well, good for him.

No more good for her.

If she's got to the point where she's like, hey, man, I guess I'm not depressed that much.

And I like that he wrote in the follow-up events.

I appreciate it.

I think it was nice that he kept us

up to date on the situation, but it all turned out well.

That's like a movie, right?

That's like a happy ending that you only see in a Disney movie.

Well, I mean, oh, I totally watched the big screen version of that fucking story.

Also, the story's not over.

They still got to get through the rest of the

good luck.

Well, you know what?

From what I can tell from the updates and from the emails,

they're going to be all right.

Yeah.

there's two kids got a chance.

They're going to make it.

These kids are going to make it, and

they're going to be on the porch 60 years from now.

And they're probably, I mean, the TV that they, and the TV I'm sure, is going to go even more

vulgar and risque.

Right.

They're going to be watching fucking snuff films together.

And I think that

they got a bright, bright, bright future ahead.

I agree.

I mean, it started off on such a strong foundation.

Insecurity, distrust,

irrationality.

You're right.

It's like every other fucking marriage.

Oh, the guy who's got it all figured out.

I got nothing figured out.

None of it.

I know that.

Day to day, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.

I wake up.

I'm like, is today the day?

Got an ad?

Oh, yeah.

Let's talk about, because you never know if maybe Luke Crate is going to have some Game of Thrones shit in there one time, right?

Yeah, you better get it while you're allowed to.

Yeah, before fucking you.

She wants to put on two pounds and then change your mind.

Yeah, she got all down.

She's like, I never should have fucking had that cream puff.

It's all your fault.

Wow.

Be the envy of your friends.

Stop doing something you love.

But I blame him more.

Of course.

He should have had a rational discussion with it.

He never loved it, though.

He never said he loved the show.

What man does love tits?

It meant dragons.

I've never been thrown.

I've never seen it.

I'm not prompted to love it.

Do you not love tits and dragons?

Okay, come on.

Yeah.

I don't love dragons.

Yeah.

That was a trick question.

That's what matters.

He's spraying me in the face like a tiger over here at a zoo.

But like, I mean, I don't think he ever was like, I love doing this.

It was just, he wanted to watch it because everybody else is watching it.

Just like everybody else.

As he's jumping on the bandwagon.

Yeah, most people are.

Most people can't walk

out in front.

They got to walk behind the line.

You know what, Cho?

There's no tits on ever.

Unless you count behind sals.

You're practical jokers.

You can watch that.

Yeah.

You never have to.

You'll never hear

a significant other give you a hard time probably watching your show.

Bullshit.

Bullshit.

That's where the guys step in because the girls are like, the girls are crazy.

Oh, Q is so cute.

Mrs.

Murray.

Let me tell you something.

The quinettes are out in the bed now.

There are quinettes.

I've met some quinnettes in the store.

Yeah, the Volcanolos.

They're all over the place.

Let me tell you, I went to Seattle last week.

I saw the Impractical Jokers Live.

Yes.

Some show.

Let me tell you something.

There's nothing more satisfying than knowing someone on stage is doing a show, part of a show, for an audience of one who totally appreciates it.

Yeah, I was doing a little performance.

The perplexing 99.9% of the audience.

I think they may not have even really noticed it.

I don't know.

You did it for a pretty long time.

I was doing a lot of bits just for Brian on stage.

But yeah, they love them, man.

They love them.

It's hard not to.

It's like.

They are lovable.

I mean, he's not cracking my top five with Tom Brady and Chris Chris Hemsley.

Not the perfect human.

But

he's in that top 25.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Of the perfect male.

No.

He's got it all.

Personality, looks.

Yeah, yeah.

A Wrangler.

I'm a third of the way there.

Yeah, right?

I mean,

it's hard to argue at this point.

It actually comes up on one of my other topics that we'll get into later.

Okay.

Big, big, big, big, big acknowledgement of how

perfect this man is to our

and how I'm destroying television from the end.

So I'm bringing us down.

But this thing that I worked on that we'll talk about, though,

was all worked upon before

I felt you were

sabotaging the brand.

Okay.

You're like, fuck

the brand purpose.

I know.

Sound like Mike and Ming now.

I caught shit earlier before the mics went on because I was like, we were in the Guinness Book of World Records for like the being part of the biggest hockey tournament.

And you would have thought that I was like, so I'm on the cover of the Guinness Book of World Records.

I've never seen you involve yourself to something so

pointless.

Pointless or and like and try to be and try desperately to make yourself

part of it to you guys.

Did you guys forget already?

I brought it up because we were displaced inside of a year by some other group.

And it's not, you know, I brought it up out of nowhere either.

No, we were saying that

at Brantford, we were

coming through a Guinness Book of Worlds records.

Here we are.

It's like the 1998 edition of it.

The Brantford street hockey tournament,

the one that we peered at in 2010, probably,

it broke a record of some sorts for the most street hockey participants, which has since been broken.

But I was

shocked at

your reference to it as we because it's very unlike you to attach yourself to something that I would think, for the most part, you would have no

use the proper pronouns.

Like, I don't refer to myself as they and try to fucking rewrite the entire English language.

Okay, I apologize then.

I thought you were trying to

just like piggyback, or I don't know what's a proper word.

Piggyback isn't if I was a part of it.

I don't know if you played one game.

It sounded like Irish tournament.

Did you only play one game?

No, you played like a scored goals.

You scoring goals already?

Yeah, come on.

Don't try to take it away.

It's all I got.

It's all I had.

It's gone.

Everybody else broke it.

I know.

That's why I'm desperately searching for something else to, like, maybe I could eat the most nickels or something.

Anyway, wait, wait, wait.

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That's the thing.

You know, there's going to be the summer.

That Luke Crate is going to be chock full of all the summer hits.

It's going to have Guardian stuff.

It's going to have Wonder Woman stuff.

Probably going to have some of that alien stuff.

June's

items, which it's going to be, you have until the 19th of June to get this shit.

Spider-Man, Transformers, the Hulk and DC Comics.

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So much good stuff in a Lou Crate box.

I can't wait for Spider-Man.

Yeah.

Oh, that looks so gay, man.

It looks gay?

Oh, my God.

It looks like shit.

It looks like a cartoon.

And it looks like this corny-ass little kid.

What are you talking about?

That little kid.

I saw the trailer for that at Guardians of the Galaxy.

I was like, this looks like garbage.

Get out of your mind.

Did you see Civil War?

No.

He was his scene.

He's the perfect Spider-Man.

Was it?

He's the perfect.

The best Spider-Man ever.

In one scene, he stole the entire Civil War movie.

Yeah.

He's great.

All right.

Great.

All right.

Well, then I'm going to get Luke Craig because I hear there's some.

Well, I don't know.

I've always, and you know what?

He may be the best Spider-Man ever because I've always had a soft spot for Nicholas Hammond.

Oh, the old fucking 70s fro dude.

Fro?

Yeah, he's

puff of hair on his head they didn't think of tapping him for the new movie

oh i like that spider-man's in high school and shit like that i think that's like such a good way to go like what was it toby maguire yeah he was all right i liked him it was good you this guy's better than toby maguire i think he's gonna be better than toby i'm judging it from the trailer i'll tell i'll take your opinions uh

okay don't slam it until you see him he saves the standard ferry in it too does he yeah okay well i'm in that come on homeboy

you i don't like yeah it's rough to go out and say something looks corny and bad.

Well, you're going to have to take the skill of it.

I know.

I wasn't going to use that word.

But not in the good homosexual way, in the corny way.

You mean like overly happy?

Yeah, like all fucking, like

dorky and shit.

I would never use gay as a pejorative if you're like sucking cocks and shit or or a lesbian or whatever.

You've never been that way.

No, no.

Get out of here.

Get out of here.

Now that's on now.

That's on brand.

That was good.

That was excellent.

Am I winning the brand back?

Get out of here.

It was so dismissive.

Yeah, it was perfect.

Bullshit.

Well done, bullshit.

Lootcrate.com slash TESD to save 10% off.

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Yes,

sir.

That you're listening to us.

Yeah.

Oh, and can I give an update on

some website stuff?

Absolutely.

We have a couple things to announce about the tellhemstevedave.com website.

If you have any

inquiries or

leave Walt alone and email.

But yeah, but there's been a couple new things set up.

So if there's any kind of

troubleshooting or

let's see, here we go.

Website queries and tech support.

Please go to help

at tellhamstevedave.com.

Can I do a plug, a rare plug for something for Nintendo Lung related?

You know, I never ever fucking kind of boycotting you guys.

Yeah.

I hear that in the UK there's some sort of chicanery

going on.

What you're referring to

is as we were developing the next tour that we're doing over there, we found that we did the Where's Larry show there, I think, two years ago, and 3,000 people saw it, and we really liked some of the material in there.

So we didn't want to not do some of it.

So we're taking some of it and

we're using it.

And we felt in clarity we should be like, let's just tell them it's the fucking Wares Larry tour so that people don't come expect, you know what I mean?

Like,

all new material.

It was what we were hoping to be a considerate decision on our part.

Some people are not seeing it that way.

How are they seeing it?

Well, because we had originally announced it as all-new tour.

Oh, so you changed it.

You changed the content after tickets were sold?

Well, it was like a San Diego

Santiago tour.

Well, we did San Diego Santis.

That was the last tour we did recently.

And then we're going back and we just found ourselves gravitating to material that most of them haven't seen yet.

So, we were like, we can't really not tell people that it is.

But, and I understand that some people are like, hey, man, I already bought tickets to it, and then you guys sort of switched up the game plan, to which we are saying 100% will refund any ticket of anybody who feels that way.

Because we want to be fair, like, we're nothing without that.

But anyway, that's not what I wanted to say.

It's like, we are,

I don't want to fucking

talk about.

So, we're doing a show in Manchester, and we've decided

to

donate every single cent from the show to

a foundation that's heading up the victims and stuff like that.

So I never really plugged Tenaly show.

I never really plugged in practical joke shows, and it's already on its way towards selling well or anything like that.

But I just wanted to let you know, if you were thinking of coming to the show and you live in the Manchester area, that's the one to go to because we're not taking, and

nobody's taking a dime from the show.

From our agents, managers, Warner Brothers, everybody is donating every single cent of what we make there to this

We Love Manchester Foundation or whatever to set up things.

So that's, of all the shows I would ever plug, that's the one I would love to see people really show up to because it's just going directly.

We just didn't feel right to roll into town and be like, hey, guys.

Well, that's all good and fine.

Give us your money.

That's all good and fine.

Will it be recycled materials?

So please, please, please, if you're going to go to any one of the shows

around that time, that would be a good one.

Because all that money is going to help people out.

That's all.

Hold on to a sec.

Can I ask, can I take your pulse on Manchester?

Not exactly about Manchester, but the ramifications of Manchester.

In where?

Well, close to home, real close to home.

Well, over there, Manchester is handling it like the clay.

And Manchester, and you guys know how much I love that city.

I've been there many times.

I just love the area.

I love the people there.

Are not always known for being, they're a little blue-collar.

You know what I mean?

Like, they're not known for that London fucking nose up in the air.

They're like fucking real folks.

So it's nice to see the city in an outpouring be like, we're not going to let this fucking,

we're not going to fucking look at our Muslim neighbors and be like, fuck you guys.

Like, there was such an outpouring of like, fucking, we're in this together that I think ramifications there, they're going to be like, it's going to be a lot of people.

No, I meant ramifications.

I meant ramifications like for

what would you think?

Well, personally.

What would you think of me?

Well, yeah.

No, there might be some.

Really?

Yeah.

We got an Islamophobe on our hands.

You're banning what in the store.

No, no, no.

That's been a while.

So

on the heels.

Get a massive word word to register whenever somebody comes in that looks vaguely Islamic.

On the heels of the tragedy in

Manchester,

a concert that was targeted

possibly just because of the attendance.

Sure.

Young people.

Children, children?

Young people, children.

This week,

tomorrow,

my daughter was supposed to attend a concert in the Madison Square Garden, the first one without me.

Without me being there.

Just her and her friends?

Just her and her friends and

her friend's mother, but not sitting together.

The seating arrangements, the seating arrangements.

Some were in the upper tier,

and my daughter and her friend were on the floor.

Because

somehow they couldn't get all tickets together.

You better believe it.

How does it have to do with my income?

He ain't from Manchester.

He's from London.

It was

her friend's plan, and she got invited to it.

And I just was like, sure, whatever.

I didn't realize, though, until

before the bombing, I knew that I was not happy with, like, what?

Oh, you're not sitting with the mother?

Right.

And I was like, ooh, I'm not sure about this.

I'm not sure about this.

A lot of stress eternally, but not voiced.

But because I had time, you know, like it was months away, and I didn't want to make a big deal about it.

Right.

And, you know,

but after the bombing.

Well,

I will say this.

I would understand

why you would be like,

I don't think you should go, but I think you should let her go.

Because,

one, security is going to be fucking tight, like you you wouldn't believe.

But two, it's just like,

like, what, I don't know, man.

I don't know.

I don't have a kid, so I can't even tell the fear that you're feeling, the completely valid fear.

But,

I mean, what do you want to, what do you want, what lesson do you want to impart here?

And I know keeping her safe is more important than any lesson.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was a tough decision.

But

I'd let her go.

Let her go.

Why would you do?

I didn't let her go.

I understand it.

It's not that I don't understand that.

But you know, there's people out there like,

you let the terrorists win.

Who gives a fuck?

That's your daughter.

You got to do it.

It's your one job in her life is to keep her safe.

And if that's what you have to do, then I don't, you know, who gives a fucking?

I gave the lady the money.

Right.

I was like, I'm pulling out at the last second here.

I don't want to stick you with the big ticket.

I gave her the money.

You could see if you could take someone else, but I couldn't do it.

How's your daughter accepting that?

She was crying because she was stressed out about it.

She was stressed out about the whole thing because

she was getting worried and she was getting

that struggle of like, I want to go, but I'm scared.

Right.

And, you know, I'm like, you have reason to be scared.

You're watching TV and you're being bombarded by your faces.

Your face is up on the screen.

injured or dead.

I go, you would have been natural.

You have to be scared.

So I took the decision out of her hand.

I was like, you're not Yeah, I completely grounded her.

But I feel, yeah, I don't know if I'd made the right decision.

Because what I mean,

if a mom goes off day, you made the fucking right decision, right?

But it's unlikely to happen, right?

But like, I can't live with it.

I couldn't live with that kind of

fear that, like, leading up to it, and the night of, and the stress, and the out and out, like,

debilitating.

It would be

so

rough an evening.

But she probably would come home, okay?

And I'm not arguing with you at all, like, in the slightest, but it's like,

when is that not going to be present?

Right?

Well, that's kind of complaining.

I thought your other daughter, who was doing it just to do it,

had some pretty good shit.

My other daughter is coming in, she's like,

so when there was a school shooting, how come we didn't have to go to school?

All right.

Do Do you want us to get shot?

Are you driving over to the mother's house to give her her money back?

Because maybe you should walk in case there's an accident.

And I was like, hey, you're making all valid points.

I go, but you're not a parent.

You'll understand this in hopefully 15 years.

Yeah,

or maybe less than that, right?

It's tough, man.

It's tough.

Maybe 10 years.

It's tough.

Yeah, I know.

But she's going to grow up to be

scared just like me of everything.

I don't fly.

That's my concern.

That didn't sound like her when we were at Red Robin.

It sounds like she's okay with flying and want to do another shit.

I think this was the immediate, like, wow, this is fucked up.

Yeah, because it was like an hour later.

It just happened.

Yeah.

Yeah, but listening to her talk about shit she wants to do,

which is travel by any way, but cars.

She doesn't like the talk.

Oh, yeah?

She doesn't walk the walk?

She doesn't walk the walk.

She's very, she's like 30 pounds and she's

lost weight since we last talked about her.

She said 60.

Yeah, she's not going.

She's not going to be able to, like, she knows that

she's not equipped.

She doesn't have that false sense of confidence that teenagers have.

Which is good.

She's on a floor of a concert and something goes awry.

She's probably going to get trampled.

She knows she wouldn't be able to make it.

I don't know.

I don't want to be at all.

This isn't like the fucking chump with Game of Thrones where I have a definite opinion.

You can, though.

It's okay.

I know that I don't.

I know that there's going to be people judging me after listening to this and

being very.

I'm going to just apologize right now.

I do.

That's why I've been setting this all up because I want to apologize.

I'm going to get all up to apologize.

I'd like to issue an apology now.

What was the concert?

Which concert was it?

The 1975.

I never even heard of them.

They're from Manchester, too.

So, I mean, look, I remember after 9-11,

it was going into the city to like hang out and to do stuff was fucking, it was, it was

a tough choice for months.

And there was, at the end of the night, this sense of relief.

It was a weird feeling.

It was like nothing happened.

You know what I mean?

I had fucking Toodles who was working for the fucking U.S.

Attorney's Office.

It was like, no, they definitely do an attack.

They definitely do an attack.

And then we'd go out drinking, and I'd be like, what the fuck, man?

And like, you'd always be looking over your shoulder and you'd always be like that fear, but it's just like there was something to going

and being like you're spitting in your eye, right?

Nothing went wrong.

Nothing went wrong.

That's a good feeling.

You know what I mean?

I'll tell you what, though, I'll tell you this, as God is my witness, if any of you fuckers out there listening are going to give me a hard time about it.

If I was going to the concert, I would have went.

And I know that's irrational because I would have felt like, well, nothing's going to happen.

I'm there.

I'll save them.

Right, right?

And it's so crazy.

Well, you've always protected her, so why wouldn't you be able to protect her?

Well, what could I really do in this instance?

Well, the bomb went out.

Even in the Man of Steel, Steel.

Remember at the Congress?

Right.

They all died.

Yeah, that was Lux Luther, though.

I don't know.

You should let me cite a comic book movie from the 70s.

No, it wasn't from the 70s.

Yeah.

But my irrational beforehand, I would be like, you should let her go.

I know.

I know.

You can go and

just wait outside for her.

But that would do nothing.

You won't look suspicious.

There's no.

That would do nothing.

You're not getting a bomb inside.

No fucking way.

No way.

But I can get a bomb on the train, no?

I know, but now I'm kind of...

I want to be careful because I don't disapprove of what you did.

No, I want you to.

He wants to apologize.

I want to apologize real bad.

I haven't apologized for about 40 minutes.

We're off brand here.

I got to keep the brand strong.

It's just, you know, I'm like, I'm always

like a duck, you know, above the water.

Right.

You know, you know, I'm calm, but I gotta, but underneath the water, I gotta, I gotta fucking apologize for all Bri's undoing.

Your feet always paddling.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Sorry for that.

Can I

like if she wants to go away to college, you're gonna let her go away to college?

I mean, of course, I'm gonna have to

do that at some point, but and become an R.

A.

I just can't.

Hey, cool, he comes with his hat on, Slidewood.

Like all this shit from like the 90s that he imagines is still cool.

He's like, you guys tub thumping in here?

What do you guys going on?

Got a drum circle going on later on tonight.

The quad, man.

Exactly.

Did I say quad?

I'm sorry.

I know that's not politically correct.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I just apologize in advance for all the dumb shit I'm about to say.

I'm all pumped up with testosterone.

What did your wife say?

Was just an immediate, like, okay, if that's what you feel, then she shouldn't go.

All right.

Because nothing bad can happen at home.

No, no.

And I think statistically, she's more likely to fall in the tub or something.

But I mean, something bad can happen anywhere as my 18-year-old was lecturing me.

What 50-year-old man doesn't want to say that sentence?

As I was being dressed out by my 18-year-old daughter.

She literally

boxed me in.

Boxed me in where I was like a rat in a kid, like in a fucking one of those mazes, and I didn't know which way to go.

She's swatting at you with the broom.

And she knew she had me, and she wasn't like being shown no mercy.

And she was just like, You're punch drunk and shit.

What about this?

What about this?

Oh, yeah, it was brutal.

It was like

Debbie was throwing in the towel.

She was like, leave your father alone.

Right.

Counter it.

Jesus Christ.

There's a blood bath in there.

Don't go on that tower.

But I couldn't do it.

And I know that

I set an example of

pussy essence.

Of fear.

I use fear.

I don't want to use pussy S.

You don't say pussy S to the girls?

You know what?

The decision was made, and I'm going to have to live with it.

But here's the thing.

It's not like you were like, you are forbidden.

The girl was nervous.

Ultimately, she didn't want to go.

She wanted someone to make the decision for her.

She didn't want to come out and say it, but

she wanted me to be like a man to tell her what to do.

Yeah, of course.

Come on, tell me.

We can't go out like that.

We cannot end it like that.

The brand would be to suffer irreparably if we were to say, tell Steve Dave after that line.

Oh, come on, man.

That would have been fucking great.

All right, all right.

I tried, guys.

That was valid.

That was a testosterone.

Bubbling over.

Too worked up.

No, I mean, but she was afraid that her friend was going to be upset and

like a lot of that player.

She was letting her friend down.

She was letting, in some regards, I know she felt like

she was being a baby.

She didn't want to come across as being a baby.

I know in her heart that she didn't, even though she didn't say it, I could see it in her eyes.

And I just was like, it's done.

You don't even have to worry about it.

You're not going.

So you should have put me on the phone with her about letting friends down.

I could have

made a career of it.

But, you know,

I understand, though, that

there's going to be people who totally vehemently disagree with that decision.

I know.

There's nothing.

I can't live.

I can't.

It's a small part of them hoping something happens.

No, not at all.

No.

Small Slow on that, no.

Look, I like to say I told you so as much as the next guy.

Hey, Caitlin!

Guess what happened?

What?

Have you seen the news?

Might as well say dad was right.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, get up, we're going.

Looks like your old man has the belt back.

Miundis.

I've been wearing some Miundis recently, man.

Fucking, oh,

so good.

So soft.

So soft.

Cradles you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't think about anything else.

Let me tell you something.

I was a fucking opiate addict for years.

Nothing, not even opiates, touches the fucking sensation sense of brain.

You slip on a pair of meunties.

may be overselling it now.

Can you get addicted to Miundis?

I think I am.

I think I am.

I wear them all the time, man.

Soft.

Do you wish you had Miundi's complete ensemble?

Like, everything was made of Miundi's micro flesh, whatever it's called.

Oh, the micro modale.

Yeah, like Miundi's pants, socks, shirt, like hat,

all in matching.

You look like that.

You look like that green man.

You ever see the green man?

Yeah.

Yeah.

If I just had like a complete Meandies body stocking, man, I would go with it.

You're perfected your wardrobe, but what about the stuff

not everybody gets to see?

Well, that's not why we're buying meundies.

It's for you, man.

It's not for somebody else.

Yeah.

Unless it is.

Cradles you, man.

If you still have balls, if your girls let you watch the TV shows you want to watch.

Yeah.

These treat them well.

Well, they make girls' underwear for him, so.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, he can wear

hide his string.

Miandis

Meandis are designed in LA.

I don't know why they think that's so important, but it is, right?

A tip.

See, I would think they would be like Paris.

That's where all the fancy designs come from, right?

Fabric three times softer than cotton.

Now, what's big cotton doing about this?

Are they not like trying to take down the micromodale or micromodal industry?

Cotton had its day.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Cotton's done, man.

Cotton has such a fucking ugly history.

No, there's no fucking style

micromodel.

Yeah.

I apologize.

I've just been informed I do wear cotton.

In fact,

95% of what I'm wearing, aside from yundies, is cotton.

I regret having it.

I'm actually, I have cotton in my ear.

I have an ear infection.

I just, I forgot about that, too.

They're Lux undies, ever-changing.

I mean, they're always coming up with new patterns.

Still don't add one yet, right?

Miundi's fucking saved me a couple bucks.

Yeah.

Sage is super into this

show called

Ladybug and Cat Noir.

And, you know, Ladybug has the, you know, the Ladybug spots.

And Miyundi's sent me this, sent me these underwear.

They're red with black spots.

Please don't tell me that you were parading around your house and nothing but me on these.

No, no, no.

No, she wore it.

Okay, so I didn't have to buy her a whole lot.

We have to stop the show.

She wears these.

Yeah, I'm like, hey, say, shoot,

fuck cotton.

Now she puts these Miundis on over her sweats, and then she's ladybug.

Yeah, man.

So

I didn't have to buy the whole costume.

Thank you, Miundis, for that.

That's cute.

Yep.

20% off your first pair.

Just use the special URL, meundis.com slash T-E-S D.

Get 20% off your first pair.

Go ahead, revamp your underwear drawer.

You deserve it.

And, you know, you put your cotton underwear in the washer, man, they got fucking torn up after a couple washes.

These men, they fucking bounce back.

And trust me, I fucking put them to the test.

When I put them on, they're fucking skin tight.

Like, if they were flesh-colored, you would not even know that I was wearing underwear.

So, what's that saying?

Like,

two pounds of sausage in a one-pound bag?

Yeah, or my mother used to say, like, you know, 10 pounds of shit in a five-pound bag or whatever.

I was talking about sausage because it's your underwear.

My mother was talking about me as a person.

Yeah, I was pretty young when she used to say that.

I was saying, because Miyundi's also has

a very

unexpected

effect of making you look like you got some.

Oh, like you're packing a little more.

Yeah, I agree, man.

Your fucking sausage looks fucking pretty good.

Mine looks exceptionally

polywalnuts on it.

I'm very, very pleased with the

aesthetic.

Yeah, you just fucking go to the fucking bedroom door, like you're all silhouetted, put your hand up, you're like, hey, she's like, oh, Miyundi.

It's an optical illusion, but I don't care.

Who gives a fuck, man?

Once you're in bed, man.

It's all an optical illusion.

What is the fucking salt for the Prussian kissing doll?

I don't know.

They're in there.

Oh, it's in the back.

It's behind it.

Yeah, nervous for a second.

Miyundi.com Mandy.com slash T-E-S-D.

Okay.

You were just about to say something, I thought, Walt.

Was it beyond you were talking about you being the perfect human being?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, a couple weeks ago,

we talked about

how you, if we had, if we had

increased the listenership,

you would be happier.

and that would be that should be our goal, right?

To get as many listeners as possible.

Yeah,

in this time that you were gone, I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it.

I don't know if there's any way to increase the listenership other than these

three ideas I had.

Okay,

kick Bry off the show.

No, nope.

Okay, so do you agree that that should be the goal?

Yeah.

At any cost?

Sure.

Yes.

What are we going all right?

Whatever.

No, no, no, no.

I thought we had.

That's why we.

Okay, so here are my ideas.

Okay.

I think I've even said this before, but just to bounce off and

take the temperature in the room.

Which is about fucking 90 the way you keep it up here.

It's fucking, I'm sweating.

Yeah, it's crazy, right?

Um, it's warming it.

My palms are sweating.

Yeah, like fucking nuts.

That guy on top of the voice.

Oh, is that it?

Start over.

This is what?

These are my ideas to increase listenership.

This is more fucking recycled than a practical joker show, man.

That was just one of them, but I still think it's valid.

I believe the catalog is too extensive and too intimidating to new listeners.

Okay.

You disagree?

300-plus episodes.

It's got to be a thousand hours.

It's a lot of hours, but

even if we start over, it's like it doesn't really matter.

You're only putting a new number on there.

Q.

You come from a world where that is what we do.

Yeah, but that's a comic book world right now, though.

Isn't it?

People are getting sick of that.

That's why Marvel's in the fucking shitter.

That and the fact that you can't fucking recognize a single goddamn hero they have.

Oh, what?

52 Rebirth, DC didn't do the same exact business mode?

I mean, that's how you get, and it works.

It's a proven

with comic books.

Joe Rogan is up to like 900 or something.

Yeah, I would say only on this one I would say

there's so many podcasts now.

The fact that we have a high number shows that we've been around for a while.

You think it's a plus?

I think it's a plus.

I do.

Do you think it's a plus?

I think it's a plus too, because people, when they discover it, they're like, and they like it, then, like, oh my God, there's so much.

It's like,

when you discover a TV, that doesn't go away, though.

That catalog is still there.

But you trick them into thinking it just started.

And they go back and they're like, no, no.

We did a zero episode.

None of us could be fucking bothered.

We're going to 15 minutes, and we were like, fuck it, and gave up.

We were like, this sucks.

Let's just go back.

Okay, but also,

now, do you also agree there that

we have been as a podcast

I think the catalog that so how how big it is and how how extensive it is is hurting us

in recognition now.

We have three people on T V and we're never on the list of podcasts to listen to.

Who is though?

Mike and Ming.

Yeah, because they're out there sucking fucking cock.

Whoa!

But that's how they got on the the list?

Not literal cuck.

Oh, but

Ming's out there fucking like, look, I don't want to be on a fucking glorified blogger's fucking website like Huffington.

What about Time?

Don't want to do it.

Time just released the list of the podcasts you must listen to.

Mike, and Ming were on that?

No.

But

they're never going to put us on.

But they're on the Huffington Post one.

Oh, you think that if we went to episode zero, time would then recognize us?

They're like, hey, these fucking newcomers are great.

Yes, I do.

If you listen to my whole game plan here,

while you're doing that, I'm going to look up this time list.

Okay.

But do you not agree that you are on a hit show?

Sure.

Well, we all.

But no, we are on a show at least.

We are on a show.

Right.

We are on TV.

We're three people on TV, and our podcast gets no recognition at this point.

It used to when we first started, but now it's been, now it's like we're just singing to the choir now.

Right.

I think it's a bigger fucking conspiracy than the Seth Rich thing, to tell you the truth.

Dude, his parents want to hear it.

Yeah, well, they don't have to.

And they won't.

If that guy didn't bring it up and make a big fucking deal about it.

Okay.

So, but

in my opinion, I believe restarting and

rebranding.

I've used that word a lot tonight.

Right, you have.

I've got a community college course

for some shit in the two weeks I've been gone.

You know, he's got a chart with fucking

pie chart.

He had one last sleep, but did I made it?

I've been trying to use that word all night long to bring us to this point.

Brand.

I kept thinking you were talking about like the Aryan nation group of the brand.

But

who have been some of the most successful artists in our lifetime?

Bowie.

The master at rebranding, right?

Sure.

Madonna.

As soon as it gets stale, you change it up and keep it fresh.

Right.

Okay.

I mean, I'm looking at this list.

I've not heard of many of these people.

Yeah, but

because

does that really matter, though?

Just being on the list, though, is an accomplishment.

Time.

Time magazine.

We should be on that list.

We have a guy who's on television 24-7.

Yeah, but I don't think that.

It does seem like you're pointing at him as a major reason that.

No, no, I believe.

No, I believe that, like,

for us not to

be the fucking Impractical Jokers

because they

like

many of them, not all of them.

You alone eclipse

most of the people on that list.

Yeah.

In terms of, like, household recognition.

But what has that got to do with anything?

Popularity doesn't mean sh that it's fucking

notable or critic-worthy.

Impractical Jokers doesn't have any fucking awards.

Nobody gives a shit about us.

But like, but just getting

more listeners would mean, I think, getting on these lists, getting on like podcasts you should listen to.

Okay.

I feel we are getting snubbed.

We're not liberal.

And I

ask

right there.

Right there, I believe, yes, that's one of the reasons.

I believe Brian has to have his Twitter taken away

unless he promises just to tweet the brand.

can you tweet on brand for a week i can try you guys are going to have to tell me what the fuck they're going to push push our stuff you know what it's not oh so i have to be like just go on and be like hey guys we just came out with a new sticker yeah anything anything's better than than uh hashtags alienating half the audience though

no no no hashtags you gotta be like like do like clever observation clever pleasant oh people like that yes okay.

That it's not, that it's not threatening to anybody.

Let me look at like a Sal Volcano's.

Mark Marin.

I hear that.

Oh, I saw that there was a popularity contest with the IJ social media guys.

Is it really?

Yeah, because they were like,

Joe has this many followers, Sal has this many cue.

Why don't you have more?

I know it for the fucking least.

See, here's Sal's.

Here's an example of Sal's tweet.

There's a fucking price tag there.

It says $12.97 was $12.98.

Sal cleverly takes a photo of that, then says, get your asses down here.

Lowe's is slashing prices.

God bless.

Now that.

That is so good.

That is good.

And so original, too.

That's the other thing.

I've never seen anything like that on a billion fucking listeners.

Andrew's got 40,000 likes.

It's got 15,000.

How many likes did that shit you were spewing the other night get?

Hold on, I'll tell you.

I'm telling you.

That's crazy.

You don't understand how that is.

That's a pleasant observation.

You know what the sound of that tweet should should be?

Cha-ching.

Oh, money?

Oh, that's why we're doing it?

We're selling out?

Selling out?

Okay.

Well, where did Cell take that picture?

Lowe's?

Okay, I'll head over to Lowe's after this.

But you see like stuff.

I do see what Cell's doing.

It's not polarizing.

It's not threatening to anybody.

I got to tell you, man, you know what?

I like the fucking people who are like.

I like the people we have.

I don't give a fuck about new people.

But the people we have, some of them are not happy

with the polarization, though.

Then they were never with us to begin with.

I'm telling you, man.

All right.

Idea number three.

His salary.

Yeah, and I see and hear Mario Lopez more than anyone in my life.

Pleasant observation.

What does that even mean?

It means he sees Mario Lopez more than anyone in his life.

Because he's watching TV.

Yeah.

He's a head scratcher.

Here's a nice one.

You're going to have to go to like fucking March of 2015 if you're not going to be able to get away from it.

Here's a nice one.

Somebody tweeted,

first Chelsea Clinton, then Wonder Woman.

You look angry against women.

Who is next?

And I wrote, maybe you.

That got 100 likes.

How many likes did sales get?

Sal's like the Lowe's.

God bless one.

Got

40,000.

40,000.

Okay, so half our followers would have to like one of my tweets.

I don't care.

But the reason he has more followers is because of this because both sides love him he's a teddy bear right

you you we would just want you to try to be more teddy bear like

and not just in like the the the texture of my body

the emptiness it's just all stuffing there's there's nothing real in there

be real be real at home just bring your realness you know to your loved ones

just like unload it on them take it out on them.

They're already getting it.

All right.

My next to last thing: advertise.

Specifically on TV.

Yeah.

Oh, like Super Bowl?

Specifically on one network, specifically on one show.

Okay.

I believe we should take, I don't know how much it would cost.

Maybe you can get us a deal, but I believe

we should sink.

all the money that we have put together

and do an ad campaign on True TV.

Yeah, but I could do that for free.

I wear the t-shirts on.

Here's a great tweet.

I mean, who's going to argue with this?

You and a rapper.

That was good fucking Photoshop.

By the way, it looks real.

People are like, holy fuck.

You do wear the apparel, which is appreciated.

Yeah.

But I think you depend too much on the investigation tools of the watcher, the viewer.

Okay, okay.

I believe that we need to, the last thing

I think we should do is all these things advertise, and I

think we should rename the podcast.

To what?

I believe that the name, I think the name hurts us.

None of us, nobody at the table is named Steve or Dave.

It's confusing.

Okay.

So, what do you think of that?

And we don't get, and we're all on TV.

Right.

We're all on TV.

Our names are known to.

The TV boys.

Yeah.

So change it from tell him Steve Dave, which I think I argued for the exact, like the first episode.

You know what?

I was wrong.

But at this point, though, we were nobodies then.

Nobody knew our names.

But now we have name recognition,

not so much as like

you have more name recognition than we do.

I mean, I am known from the Gunnesbook of World Records.

So what do you propose, the new name?

I got it.

Okay.

And I knew people are going to, you're going to think I'm fooling around, but I am 100% serious.

I'm all in on this if you guys agree to this.

The pandering puss holes.

I got the guy who is working on our project that's going to be released soon.

His name is Chuck Staten.

He made

kind of like a test commercial

that we could air.

Recently.

Yeah.

I got this commercial set up to go.

You know, we would do a much more

higher budget or a little bit better graphics.

It'll tell you the name of the podcast.

It'll tell you the direction.

It'll tell people where to go.

And it'll be.

I think it, I think, if you sit, if both of you don't agree

that it would definitely change the

the figures,

then I think you're lying if you say you wouldn't.

All right, let's see what we got.

You watching this?

You want to watch this?

This is a real commercial that I got made.

This guy, Chuck,

he's going to be our Declan of

Declan's out.

Oh, yeah.

We'll talk about that in a second.

Yeah, he might really be out.

If you put that on True TV

on a season premiere episode,

how many subscribers would go right to iTunes and subscribe to it?

Okay.

I don't know how much that would cost.

Do you want me to ask Simmy?

How much airtime costs?

Well, that would be like, what was that, like 30 seconds?

30-second spot.

Okay, so maybe in 10 years we can change the name once we save up all the money.

Do you think it would be that much?

Maybe I can work out a deal.

I'll bet you those spots.

Oh, like something in trade, right?

Yeah.

Cue the laps.

Cue to the laps.

Can we pick pictures that don't make me look like a fat piece of shit in every fucking single angle?

I didn't pick the picture.

That's just a work in progress.

It's a work in progress.

Yeah.

All right.

So, but why can't you say, tell him Steve Dave?

And everything else is the same.

Because he's saying you got to put Q up up and center.

You got to put you up front and center.

I think it's

name recognition is huge.

I think Steve Dave is confusing to a lot of people.

Yeah, no shit.

People still are like, what does it mean?

I'm like, Google it, motherfucker.

Okay, who the laughs?

Like, do you like the name?

Well, did you lock it down?

Did you get the Twitter and the animal?

Did you have the website?

Does GitHub have it already?

No, I didn't do anything.

You got to get it before this episode is released.

Okay, I'll work on that.

Does that cost money?

Because I'll put all our money into

the commercial fund.

No, they give domain names away for free, I think.

It's like three bucks for a fucking year, but the Twitter and

all that stuff.

But do you agree, though, that

there'd be a gigantic surge in listenership?

No, I mean, just off that commercial alone.

Right.

Okay, so then you list it under Q the Laughs and it redirects to Tell Steve Dave.

We just

rebranded.

We rebranded.

We start over.

It's like fucking Madonna calling herself Michael Jackson all of a sudden.

You're talking about totally changing the name.

No, just the name, but you don't change the content because eventually it's not a problem.

It's going to be human carbide eventually call themselves.

But eventually it just slides right back into what we do and what we want to do.

But to get those big numbers and to get the

listenership that demands time recognize us.

Right.

I don't think it's ever going to happen if we just continue the way we're going.

Oof.

Well, step one would be to find out how much it's going to cost to advertise.

What if we did a few episodes of it, like we do overkill every once in a while?

We start sliding in cue the laughs.

So we do the exact same thing, except you introduce it, and you're like, yeah, we'll back a couple.

And

you're like, hey, welcome to this week's Q The Left.

And we do exactly the same thing.

I'm here with Walt and Bryan, and let's see.

I'm here with two of my friends.

Two of my friends.

We're faceless.

Only we don't matter.

Okay, all right.

Is that how you took it?

Huh?

Is that how you took it?

I'm supposed to, right?

Isn't that

the whole thing?

Why, I'm faceless, too.

Oh, I know.

We're together.

But you propose it as like all three of us are on TV.

No, two of us don't matter.

Well, two of us.

Two of the left.

But

it would be disingenuous to say that

we can move a podcast just on our names, right?

I mean, nobody cares, it seems like.

I could have got an 11-year-old kid to take a picture with me today.

But if Q is here, you know the reaction would have been different from those kids.

I don't know.

You know what?

Not true.

And I'm not saying, but the guy said, they're recording tonight.

Q is going to be down a little bit later.

This girl didn't care.

She didn't care about me?

Mostly.

She didn't care about you.

She didn't care about about you.

She's an 11-year-old kid.

She looked like pre-emo, maybe.

Oh, yeah.

Like, doesn't give a shit about anything, rolling her eyes at her dad's exuberance.

It was the guy who,

when we were in Rob Bruce's con, he was cosplaying as you.

Oh, yeah.

Cue of the laughs.

Okay.

All right.

So that's, so that's it?

That's the commercial?

That was just.

I knew we couldn't do anything over 30 seconds.

Right.

And I think it's got all the pertinent information.

So it's not going to be like one of those

ASPCA commercials or fucking medication commercials that are like three minutes long?

We should pursue this a little bit.

Do you like the name?

It's a catchy name.

It gets it right out there.

Right.

I mean, we could do something.

We could think of something better with that includes all our names.

I don't think it's necessary, though.

People are like, well, that seems superfluous.

Do you, but like.

I want to try it.

I think we give it a shot.

But Giddam had the point that I think we should consider, though.

Right.

Is there a backlash from the existing fan base?

Yeah.

Is there?

Or they think we're fucking around and they support it, like, ironically.

It's just as good.

Because Giddam's like, what about all the people who got tattoos?

What about all the people that brought all the merchandise?

And I'm like, well, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist anymore.

Yeah.

It's still there.

I have a Dukes of Hazard t-shirt.

All that stuff is still there.

General Lee with the fucking flag on top.

All that would change is

wear that everywhere.

You should apologize for that.

We can't have a couple shit on cue to laugh.

I'm just trying to get it out now before we rebrand.

But

I don't think we shouldn't change anything in terms of the content, though.

I mean, it's just a way

to address sagging listenership.

We're getting recognition.

I'm in.

I will reach out to Simi and I'll find out how much it'll cost if I can get a special number one show on the network discount

for the fucking thing.

I would love to do it on like

a premiere, a season premiere.

A victory show on the network.

Discount.

Tell Toyota they can be on next week.

Season premiere right before you go to

the punishment phase.

Okay.

You stop and you're like, well, like, oh, I can't believe he's going to do this.

You know, that, like, that pause.

Well, Simmy said he'll come back in here anyway because didn't we have to pitch him something?

Oh, yeah.

I got a game show on him.

Yeah, so I'll.

Babes and Babes out of the mouth of Babes.

Right.

So we'll get him in here relatively soon.

See if he'll do.

How about he plays from the mouth of Babes against you guys?

Okay.

And if he loses, he must air that commercial.

Yeah, he's got that kind of juice.

Oh, he doesn't have that kind of juice?

No, I don't think so.

Who would?

Chris, the president of the network.

Have you got the president of the network in here to play from the mouth of Babes?

He's not coming down here to fuck around with us.

That guy's got too much on his plate.

All right.

Well, I mean, that's what I did while you were going though because I think I'm going to work some political angles.

I'm going to work some political angles.

And maybe we could, maybe this is what you do with your Twitter this week.

Okay, what do I do?

I'll do it right now.

Do a little thing.

Like, we are thinking.

Do a poll

should TSD become

to the last.

I guess you would do that after the episode drops, though, right?

Yeah.

Okay, here's the picture of.

Wow, I didn't know she looked that old.

Kathy Griffith?

Griffin?

Griffin?

Yes.

That is an

odd choice to release.

I mean,

it's like what terrorists do, right?

I mean, terrorists cut people's heads off and then hold them up all bloody.

But at what point, like, look,

there's a part of me that likes Trump where when I see him tweet shit, like, happy Memorial Day, even if you're like a loser and a hater,

it's so assistant.

I mean, if he wasn't the president of the United States, you'd be pretty awesome.

You'd be like, he's awesome.

Yeah, but you can't take that stand.

The president of the United States is calling people losers and haters and you're like this is this is crazy like it's crazy that he's saying the same shit that like you would hear on any like reality show like real housewives of wherever it's nuts i thought he was gonna make it i think he's gonna get in peace now i i don't see it last in all four years but but we live in a world now where you can do this kind of shit right well look In regards to her.

No, you can't.

You can, but it would pay a pay price.

Yeah.

Look, she's trying to be funny.

I don't know.

I don't know what to make of it.

Is that funny or is that just a statement?

Like a very

well, it's that smug, fucking

it's not even original thought, man.

Like,

nobody likes the guy

to agree with so much of what people say, but just to hate the way they fucking say it.

Like, that's that's where I'm trapped.

Well, yeah, because they are so arrogant about it.

Oh, God.

It's so righteous, so fucking sanctimonious.

And that's, and that's why when I hear criticism about us, when they're like, well, you guys never fucking rip on Fox News and shit, or you guys never do that, it's just like, because I fucking, I don't want the fucking alt-right to win.

Like, I'm not disappointed.

I'm not like, I don't look at them in this stupid fucking nonsense and be like,

like,

why don't these guys clean up their act and fucking get their message across better?

You know what I mean?

I say it about the fucking, the fucking

liberals because I'm like, you guys are making it so people don't even fucking want to hear what you have to say.

This would not fly on cue to laughs.

Wow, that's why I stand that out now.

Yeah, it's like I want you guys to get your message across in a positive way, not to fucking sound like fucking sanctimonious assholes all the time.

Yeah, but people don't want to hear it.

Cue to laughs.

They don't want to hear it.

We need a new, we need a new sign-off, too, for when we do cut a laughs.

Can you think of something that would be like appropriate?

I'm Q, and those are the laughs.

How about that?

Tell them, Steve Dave.

So, what do you guys think about Nature Pox?

Do you think we can get the video, the commercial on our, on our website so people could see it?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Now, now, definitely, now, definitely.

What do you do, Q, when you want a snack?

Say you're not laughing, right?

And

am I in the room?

I'm always in the room with me, Brian.

Right.

You walk in the room.

Q to last is 24-7.

Yeah.

That's got to be rough.

No matter where you go, people are laughing.

Yeah.

All right.

Spreading joy.

That's what he does.

Yeah.

That's all he does.

Santa Santa Claus of giggles.

Can we

change the name to that?

That is my competing podcast when I drop out of Q the Laughs.

You're not happy with it, I could tell.

What, Q the Laughs?

Yeah, you didn't like it.

Sego Zayta.

He doesn't like it.

Is it an ego thing?

It's not like this is named after me.

This is named after no one.

Q the Laughs is.

Right.

But you are.

But basically, you were.

Tell him Steve.

You were Steve Dave.

I guess so, yeah.

Yeah.

How long have I had to fucking exist under the yoke

of your fucking,

but you don't like it, though?

And I haven't reached the promised land that I thought I would.

What's that?

Yeah, I don't think you've really weighed in with an honest opinion.

You don't like it, do you?

Well, I think rebranding isn't like totally changed the name, right?

I mean, you're talking about.

No, I'm not talking about changing the content.

I believe we will revert after that first episode and we get the people listening.

We can't deviate

from ourselves.

It's impossible.

You're telling me to tweet fucking bitch-ass shit.

Like, hey, tweet pictures of fucking prices that are a penny less, so everyone loves them.

No, not like Sal.

Sal has got a lot of followers, pal.

He does.

And I love him.

He's the best.

I love him.

But he's better than that.

And I know it.

But why?

He's using Twitter as a tool, as a promotional tool.

Not to fucking go on a rant.

I don't know people that don't matter.

By the way, that was the fucking greatest part of the text comments, wasn't it?

I kept writing pwn.

You got to stop worrying about poning faceless, meaningless people.

I thought they all meant something.

They don't mean shit.

Not the ones that are coming at you angrily.

We lost them.

If we lost them, then they don't mean anything.

I'm trying to, well, I mean, it's almost impossible when I'm back.

Maybe with Q to Last, they don't realize you're on it, and they come back and they.

Right, right.

I'll talk in a different voice the entire time.

I'll do young Q.

But in reality, though, you don't like it, do you?

Changing the name?

Yeah.

No,

I like it the way things are

do you disagree that it would mean it probably would work

if we have a commercial on true tv why do you laugh at that because i think it's probably way more expensive than you think i believe that um

we have we have connections and i believe we could i believe we would have to pay a price for it but i believe in the end it would be

so uh beneficial to us and our future okay getting on i want to get on these lists i want to get on most notable I want to get on podcasts you should be listening to.

I don't care what you're doing.

How can we not be able to rename it?

If the content is the same, Huffington Post is not going to be like, oh, these guys are great.

Because they're not going to associate it with Tell'em Steve Dave and what and what it's Tell'em Steve Dave has become.

So we're going to trick them into

they're just going to

put it on there because they think it's

they're going to think it's fluff.

Right.

Because they look at him and they're like, he has no substance.

No, no, no.

They're going to think it's it's harmless.

And it is.

It's harmless, good content.

It's not the

right.

It's meaningless bullshit.

That's how you get on that list, is by tricking someone into thinking that what you're doing is

Rogan on that list.

Is Rogan on Huffington Post now?

Is he on the other one, the podcast you should be listening to?

No, I don't think so.

He didn't make it either?

But Mark Marin is.

And I'm sure his is not fluff.

No, he's not fluffy.

Like, I want to be in that air for once.

You want to be in that rarefied air with Mike and Bing?

Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

I don't care what, I mean, I'll do whatever it takes.

Are you not happy with our fucking 2013 award from Apple

and the fucking very sort of nebulous podcast awards?

We're not sure what it's for, who it's from, what it's about.

Yeah, I want to get on that list.

You want to get on the list, huh?

Yeah.

All right.

I don't know what we have to do to do it, but I'm willing to try.

How do you think Mike and Ming got on there on that list?

It was somebody making it.

It had to be somebody who listened.

Let me tell you something.

I know a person who knows people at Huffington Post, right?

And

backs are being scratched in terms of who appears on that site

for certain things.

For podcasts?

I don't know about podcasts, but I know about

other things.

Do you think Mike and Ming or Mike or Ming had to scratch someone's back get on that list?

Are you re-I think Ming did.

Not Mike.

Nobody talks to him.

You just pwned the mic.

Yeah, that's what I do.

He's good at it.

But Ming definitely likes.

I don't believe so.

I believe you're.

How the fuck did they hear it then?

They listened to it.

It's the premier comic book podcast in America.

Is it?

Yes.

It's the most downloaded comic book podcast in America.

Please.

Look at the face.

Look at the face when I said that.

Because how do you know that?

I know it.

They told me.

Who am I going to make?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I stand corrected.

What's the most downloaded comic book podcast?

I don't know.

Let's look.

Let's look right now.

Why aren't they on time if they're so fucking great?

Because there's a lot more weightier podcasts out there than about comic.

If they would be if they didn't talk about comics.

When the fuck was the last time they put out an episode?

I think they're fairly regular with them.

Yeah, I think they're okay.

Oh, and when it's cute to laughs, if you can't make it, we don't record because we just can't throw in a Jeff or a Giddam as your substitute.

That's going to make for a rough October.

You know, you're out and about.

I think I'm here for like five days in October.

We're going to have to record.

Just record five cue to laughs.

I got to say, I do hope Kevin doesn't listen to this episode because I'd hate for him to find out this way that fucking Iceland Comics is more downloaded than Fat Man on Batman.

I don't want him taking his own life.

Or, you know, the nerdist.

I hope he doesn't hear.

You know, I'd hate for Hardwick to break it.

Is the nerdist considered a comic book, quote-unquote,

the nerdist comic book club?

Oh, I see.

Justin Tyler, Peter LePage, and Alex.

They're not the most electronic.

Despite what they told you.

They didn't tell me that.

I just assumed it because they're on fucking TV.

Right.

Well, why would you not assume that about us?

TV is fucking bullshit.

It means it doesn't get you anything.

I'm looking at a couple of lists here, and

I'm not seeing these guys.

I mean, our TV shows are not the type that are geared towards getting you respect.

Yeah.

Neither's this podcast, then.

Nothing we do deserves respect.

We care about respect all of a sudden.

I don't know.

I just see those lists and I'm like, why aren't we on those lists?

Okay, this says comics podcast.

This is a very general list of shit that's about comics.

So they made that list.

You guys talked about comics this week.

How come we can't?

Did we?

Maybe some

woman.

Why can't we?

I don't know.

For some reason.

There's like five billion fucking comic book podcasts.

For some reason,

we just aren't

divisive.

I don't know.

Maybe we just are not good people.

Good.

And we fucking, then we appeal to maybe people that aren't so great.

And that's who I fucking want to appeal to.

I don't want to appeal to the fluff and the bullshit.

I want to appeal to the fucking real peeps out there.

Right?

People who are fucking down and depressed and fucking understand their flaws.

And not only understand them, but embrace them.

And they're like, that's right, man.

I'm as fucked up as those guys are.

Yeah.

That's what I love.

There's something to that.

I know you want me to say Tom Steve, Dave, but don't you have an ad?

I do have Nature Box.

And real people love NatureBox.

Naturebox.com slash TESD for 50% off your first order.

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They don't have any of that bullshit in them.

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It's simple.

Go to naturebox.com and check out their snack catalog.

There are over 100 snacks to choose from.

You'll never get bored.

New snacks each month, just like Miyundis.

That's what you do.

You sit around eating snacks in your fucking new meundis once a month and checking out your loot crate shit.

Everything good comes once a month.

If you ever try a snack that you don't like,

they'll replace it for free.

Now there's a call to action, much like in World War II when they were like, buy war bonds.

We're calling you to action.

50% off your first order when you go to naturebox.com/slash T-E-S-D.

And

that's it, right?

50% off your first order.

Before I say Tom, C.

Dave, can you

shout out to

Declan?

A shout out to him.

I want to also bring up something real quickly about somebody who's it seems like they're trying to rebrand

a failure story, in my opinion.

Another person trying to rebrand?

Maybe.

Maybe not a person.

Okay, well, you want to do your shout out or you want to do the

Declan Memorial first.

Yeah, Declan, I don't even know if he can work on the show this week because I've been getting text from him.

They could be

the result of fevered morphine dreams.

Hey, can we call the podcast that?

An episode of Q to Lapps.

That could be a great episode title for Fevered Morphine Dreams.

So Declan, if you want to wish him well, he's like at DeQuinn.

Torsion of the Omentum.

Which I basically means like, you know, when they put horses down because their guts twist inside out?

He has like a horse disease.

250 cases seen in 150 years.

The surgeon had never faced it before.

That's the surgeon I'd want.

What the fuck is this?

Wow.

That's got to be the talk of the, of the, uh, of the operating room, right?

He's like, he's on there, and you're like, have you ever seen this?

Come look at this.

Hey, let's call in Dr.

Fucking Chivago from fucking

Wings.

Let's play the theme to my hut while we're doing it.

Call him in.

Call all the doctors in.

No one's ever seen this.

Twisted guts.

Right.

Check him out.

Freak.

He's a spectacle.

I haven't heard for him in a while.

I guess now I know why.

Yeah, that's why.

He's almost dead.

Oh, that's unfortunate.

Yeah,

he's going to be all scarred up.

There's blood everywhere.

He's going to look tough, though, man.

He's cool.

He's got a fucking badass scar.

Yeah, I have a scar on my stomach, too.

I don't think anyone's seen it since I was 30.

Yeah, but let's see.

You know, I wish him well, though.

I feel bad for him, and

he needs all the

thoughts.

Thoughts and prayers.

Hashtag thoughts and prayers.

That's what we want to do, right?

Isn't that what everyone does?

Yeah.

And then you've done yourself.

I'm going to put $5 on the Prussian Kissing Devil.

For

Declan.

For Declan?

I'm going to do it too.

Yeah.

Pry?

$5 for Declan?

Yeah.

It's five people putting in

$5.

Well, I'll make Giddam and Mike do it too tomorrow.

All right, yeah.

For a total of $25.

I mean, come on.

You shouldn't have even went to see a doctor.

Yeah.

I mean, that alone would have killed him.

It would have saved him so much.

He's kind of an asshole.

But yeah,

I really

know he's not doing too well, and he's all laid up.

But I'm hoping for a speedy recovery for him.

Yeah, go Duckland.

Who else is rebranding, though?

So

a couple weeks ago, I go to a concert with a friend of mine,

one BQ Quinn.

Gotta say, not impressed with the seats.

I'll say say it now.

Pretty crappy seats.

Did BQ did BQ seats?

No, it wasn't BQ.

Who secured the tickets?

This guy who wasn't on TV.

And I'll tell you why I don't like seats like that.

Because I find myself watching the screen instead of the people.

Because you can't really see the people.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm too old, I think,

to be too far away.

But then again, you couldn't sit down.

I would have had to stand up and people were moshing about.

But you're too old to be too close because the band doesn't want to see old people up in front.

Oh, you mean people that are younger than them still?

Yeah.

You know, that's true, right?

The band doesn't want to go down there and get all fucking, like, they're all pumped and shit.

They look out.

They're all fucking mosh pits going.

I push a hot chick out of my way.

I'm like, hi, James, have me up.

Like, oh, my God.

Oh, you know what that brings up.

Metal up your ass, right?

But so we go to the concert, which was

the music was spot on.

Spot on.

How's his voice?

Could have stayed home and listened to an album.

Good.

His voice is still good.

Spot on.

Kirk Hammett, good.

Right?

So what's the problem, man?

So here's the problem.

Rebranding your setup sorts.

Yeah, it was noticeable.

He's not angry, James Hetfield.

That's a good thing.

Too happy.

No, it's not.

It's a metal show.

It's metal.

You want to go there and you want to get some energy out.

Like those guys that are moshing down there,

they don't want to mosh to fucking joyful tunes and shit.

They don't want to hear him fucking look up and see him smiling.

They want to see him grimacing and growling.

He was telling dad jokes on stage.

Yeah.

Dad jokes.

Oh, he fell flat, man.

He'll never be.

It was like a combination of Jim Gaffigan and

the one that elicited a groan from Brian Johnson.

What was it?

Can you tell me the joke?

I remember.

Let me be the judge if this joke was.

It's pretty undeniably a dad joke.

But he's talking about, well, he started with a speech about how

if you're there, you're Metallica family.

He starts out with, okay, here's what he starts out with.

He's like, where are we?

Because, you know, he doesn't remember.

He's a rock star.

And, oh, we're in New Jersey.

We're in New Jersey.

It's all an act.

We know it's an act.

Guess what?

We don't give a shit.

So I'm thinking, all right.

This is a little rock and roll.

He doesn't give a shit.

He's telling everybody he doesn't give a shit where he is.

Right.

Because no matter where you are, no matter where you're from, you're a part of the Metallica family.

Because we're all about diversity.

And we're all about fucking inclusivity.

Pretty much that.

That was his.

Oh, you never noticed when he sings everything.

He's like that.

Yeah.

He didn't really do that, but

he launches into this like

diversity thing.

And I'm like.

It was a little huggy-feely for Brian.

Too huggy-feely.

And not only that, it's like, I wasn't even thinking about like, hey, man, is everyone represented here

until he starts bringing it up?

Because

obviously everyone is welcome, right?

I mean, to me, that would be...

Anybody with the money to buy a table?

If you like the music and you have the money and you're willing to sit in a shitty seat,

then you can go.

I just didn't get why it was trying to bring everybody necessary, right?

It's, I mean,

let's just be honest.

I mean, it's permeated into every aspect of

entertainment

and society.

I want to go to a concert and not have to hear this shit because it's not that band.

Look, if I'm going to some band that's like, you know, a band of today or someone who's known for that, like I'm going to a Katy Perry concert, right?

You expect it.

Of course.

Of course.

That's what I expect.

You know what Metallica?

Sing a fucking song.

Sing, boy.

And shut up about diversity and inclusivity and all this other fucking bullshit.

They can't evolve as a majority.

No.

Why?

They have have to be the 18-year-old.

Dude, I thought their fucking corniest move was cutting their hair at the same time until I went to that concert.

And then later on, they brought something else up again.

What was it?

Well, he goes, he said, we played money.

They were talking about one of their first shows was in Old Bridge, New Jersey.

And then he goes, Old Bridge.

He's like, well, how long is it going to take money to buy that new bridge?

And the missed opportunity is Lars not doing the rim shot.

I was like, that was a serious joke.

That was a serious joke.

Yeah.

I know what it was.

The other part was he was like, how many people is this your first Metallica show?

And I was like, yeah.

How many people is, you know, have you seen Metallica before?

Everyone's like, yeah.

This is like 40 minutes after the original diversity thing.

It doesn't matter if it's your first or your 10th because everyone's included.

And he starts saying the same fucking shit again.

And it's like, we get it.

Nobody is mad that another person is here.

Nobody's like, hey, what's this Muslim guy doing here?

Hey, what's this white guy doing here?

What's this girl doing here?

I don't think anyone is thinking that, as far as I could tell.

So why bring it up?

Why is it necessary?

So you don't know what's in the world.

And

you call that evolution.

I know.

I do not.

I call it the status quo pandering fucking nonsense

because you get hit with it from every fucking angle.

Is there no escape?

From inclusion and diversity?

It's already happening.

It's already happening.

It wasn't like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this certain type of thing.

No transgenders can come in because it's a fucking Metallica show and we're all about fucking metal and not transitioning.

No one's saying that.

Do you think anybody else is having this reaction to this?

I sure hope so.

I don't think they are.

I think it's just a lot of people.

I'm the only one out of 80,000 people.

It's like, what the fuck?

I know one other guy who's thinking it.

I think it's a good idea.

I was like, water is decidedly on metal.

There's water off a duck's back, and they're just waiting for the next song to play.

It's just the

waiting, waiting, sitting around waiting while you listen to this shit that it's like, why am I being lectured by this guy?

Why is he smiling so much?

Well,

he can't be happy.

No.

No, he cannot.

He can be happy on his own time.

He's working for me.

For that fucking hour and a half or whatever, he's on my fucking clock.

I don't want him happy.

Yeah, I paid him.

I don't want him.

It's awesome.

It'll have been better.

I just don't want it.

I want him running around.

Like,

you're not saying, like, I want him to stand up there and be like, fucking white's only here.

You just don't want to hear it.

Yeah, I don't want him to be like,

can I have something without politics?

The guy from Pantera,

wasn't he the guy that was talking about white power or some weird shit like that?

Like, no, I don't want that.

But yeah, can I have fucking a couple minutes?

Right.

Just a couple minutes without somebody being like, hey, here's what you need to do.

Here's what you need to think about.

Here's what you need to embrace.

It's like, I know.

Did you know why?

Because I'm already like that.

I'm already like that.

You don't need to tell me.

Who the fuck are you telling?

It's fucking unbelievable.

I think you need to check yourself.

It was

a fucking

privilege at the door.

They do sound great, though, dude.

Yeah.

Yeah, they sound amazing.

Well-oiled machine, right?

Yeah, they did a drum solo that annoyed Brian a little bit, too.

No, it didn't annoy me.

He's like sitting next to Grandpa.

I imagine.

I wouldn't even want to go.

I wouldn't even want to go with him.

I will say this, man.

At one point, like, fucking, you got to see fucking Toodles is going berserk, right?

He's dancing.

He's rocking out.

Fucking Stacey Patella is headbanging.

Like, it's all fucking going on.

And he's looking at his phone.

Oh, I got took a picture.

Like, with the glasses on the edge of the edge of the nose.

Dude, you got to see this picture.

I was fucking tweeting my displeasure.

he's fucking on his phone while fucking Vitalik is rocking out.

I mean, that says it all.

There is nothing more that needs to be said.

He's fucking

a hashtag metal.

And it's like him sitting down while the rest of the stadium is standing up, fucking rocking out.

They put me off, man.

They put me out of the mood.

You know?

They do this drum solo, right?

It's like four drums, like...

Two drums facing each other.

So like, you know, like imagine like four garbage cans or whatever.

So what's his name?

Hetfield, I guess, starts playing a drum.

And then.

Hetfield was playing drums?

Yeah.

He's playing this big bongo.

It's like a giant bongo drum.

Okay.

And then Kirk Hammett comes over.

And then the Rob Trijillo, I think that's his name, comes over.

And then finally, what's his name?

The drummer guy

comes over.

So now they're all playing drums.

And it sounds kind of cool.

But they're like, I wasn't mad about this.

I thought it was amusing because they would like drum and then they'd stop and they'd like point at the audience.

And all I could think of was like, they rehearsed this.

At a certain point, they had to choreograph this whole fucking thing.

It's not spontaneous.

So they're like, okay, at this point, we're going to be like,

and then, and then what we're going to do, guys, is we're going to stop.

We're going to all like point our drumstick at the audience.

And everyone's like, cool.

And then they're like, well, when's the next time we're going to do it?

So then they're drumming a little bit more and they're like, okay, but.

All right.

Well, this time they're going to expect us to point the drumstick of the people.

But what if we pointed each other instead?

And then we all smile because we're so fucking happy.

I could not stop thinking of these guys rehearsing this in a small room and other people through it.

He couldn't get rid of it.

Oh, wow.

I would just, at this point, I would just like to issue a blanket apology for everything I've ever said in life.

I think that about covers it.

Tell him, Steve Davis.

He was looking at me.

He didn't see it like that.

Did what he wanted to do,

gave me a pat on the back.

Now I'm knocking him down.

I was throwing her back.

Till the lights come on,

I'll be running a tap.

Live.

You cut all that.

Lost track of all my sins, good deeds were far between.

I've seen the devil laugh, laughing embarrassing.

And now she's walking away and dragging me to hell.

Oh no, I've been there before.

Looked around and I could tell.

I'll be back

on that.

Love me back

and you can cut all men

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