#313: 4th and Down
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Time Steve Dave presents a forgetful carrier with encounters in the sixth song of kind
with Brian Carrington, Arthur Flanagan, and Brian Jackson.
This week's episode
Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell I'm Steve Dave,
which is really Overkill.
Haven't done Overkill in a while, boys.
No.
Keep everyone updated on the spooky happenings.
The world's just getting spookier and spookier.
This is going to be a weird one for me.
I was getting spooked out.
First week, it was the disappearance of wealth and the disappearance of Q.
I didn't know we were going to do it tonight.
I was actually going to,
before
you texted and said, hey, are we going to do it on Wednesday or Friday right I was gonna do another call-in show advice show
yeah I need it man I need something I need some structure in my life even if it's just something once a week for an hour
that's enough
you are you aren't um
what's it called when you're uh so like deep not detoured but uh deterred deterred uh from the last call-ins when when the calls really weren't up to the your
i don't think they were up to your snuff in terms of the
problems you were trying to solve weren't weren't being
they weren't offered up to you we we talked about we we took some calls queue
through Skype came out pretty well I thought the sound and everything
but yeah the problems I we I wanted more like life and death type stuff yeah that's always the problem like when we do it we used to do a Q ⁇ A at the end of the Tenderloins live show and the questions were never good it's so much that at the beginning of the show, I would start saying, at the end of the show, we're going to take questions.
Please don't have the questions be about this, this, this, this, this.
And invariably,
every fucking question would be about the five things I asked them not to do.
And then finally, and then I tried instituting a law that if somebody asks one of those questions, the show's over.
A law.
A law.
And then, and then sure enough, somebody would ask the questions, and I would walk off stage, and then three other guys would stay on stage.
And I'd be like, what's the fucking point of laying down the, like,
so that killed the
killed the Q ⁇ A.
Yeah, that's like, you know, if you're a parent and
you say to your child,
if you don't clean up your room, I'm not going to give you your allowance.
And then, you know, then the other parent doesn't follow you up on that.
And the kid will never clean up his room.
Right.
So you've got to really crack down on the other jokers.
Well, what I did is I walked off stage and I never went back on.
So they did like an additional 10 minutes without me.
That happened like three times.
Yeah.
I was like, fuck them.
Fuck those guys.
They broke the law.
They broke the law.
We're in chaos.
But who asked that question?
Who asked the question that you're like, don't ask this question?
They're fucking the morons.
There's morons out there.
You know what I mean?
It's fucking dope out there.
Some of them might be listening.
If they're listening,
they might have been the person who asked that question and knew that it prompted you to walk up.
Well, then they should know they're a dope.
Yeah, it's their fault.
It's their fucking fault.
I didn't make them a dope.
Yeah, it's your parents.
You know, they're excited.
They're at the show.
They forgot about the law.
We're all there for a good time.
He delivered the law at the beginning of the show.
No, because then I was like, all right,
it's QA time.
Now, everybody, remember, do not ask questions about this, this, this, and this.
And then the first question.
Ask it, you're like, all right, fuck it.
Now it's just A time because Q's out of here.
So, yeah, so it's tough to get the good questions on those.
Yeah.
So
somebody did point out the 2099 cover thing that someone, I can't remember his name again, but they tweeted it.
It looks really good.
What is it?
It looked really cool.
A 2099 cover.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I think it was by the artist who designed the four-colored demons logo.
Yeah.
He designed or drew something.
I think it's him.
The Kacharik Brothers did a 2000.
Oh, the Four Colored Demon.
No, I don't think he did it.
Somebody else did it.
Based off that design.
Based off that design.
No, it looks pretty cool, yeah.
In 2017, Q, right?
That's when we'll start to see four-colored demons really start to
formulate.
Well, I'll tell you what, Walt,
it has its own life because every single live show I do, there are no less than 10
Four Color Demon members in the audience.
Last show I was at, these two guys.
They're allowed to break the law, right?
Whatever they want.
They're demons, bro.
They don't fucking pay attention to the laws.
They're rebels.
Yeah, yeah, man.
It's
sell like drugs and
stupid questions.
Yeah, exactly.
Chain whip someone across the face and ask a fucking dumbass
nerdy question.
Yeah, yeah.
It's got a life of its own, man.
It doesn't even need us at this point, but we are going to get that website up and going
eventually.
2017.
That's a target.
By the end of 2017.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's a target.
That's the target.
You may not hit it.
ETA.
Yeah.
What are you worried about?
How was your Thanksgiving?
Well, we'll get through this first.
Thanksgiving.
It was good.
You know, I had my mom and I had my mother-in-law.
So it was very
intimate.
So, and your wife and your two girls?
Obviously, yeah.
Were there any other dudes there, or is it just you?
No, my mom's a boyfriend, Joe's there, and
my brother-in-law, Joe, another Joe.
we tell them apart, we call my mama's boyfriend Joey B.
Right.
And the other guy's just Joe.
So your mom doesn't accidentally start kissing your brother-in-law
or just be like, we're leaving.
Come on.
It was nice.
You know, I watched a lot of football, a lot of really good football games yesterday.
And, you know,
I.
Was it at your house?
Yeah.
So was it like that
very
typical sort of Thanksgiving where all you men are watching uh football while the girls get the the food ready?
Um I was the only I I mean, not and this is not to disparage anybody, any of the guys at the party, the other Joe's.
Those two queers that were there too.
I was really the only I was really the only man
watching the football game as I would as I would sneak, okay.
Not really being manly when you got to sneak upstairs and no one's watching to check the score.
That counts as manly in your house.
Then when you hear Walt, Walt, you're like, oh, I was just going to the bathroom upstairs.
I hope anybody.
Flush your toilet right downstairs.
Yeah, I don't want to mess up the toilet.
Shit's his pants and whatever.
Well, I thought it was an emergency.
As you can see.
Toilet paper.
People running from all the way upstairs to downstairs.
Yeah,
you got to make do when you want to check the score real quick, especially when it's at the end of the game.
You got to keep saying, oh, I don't know if that turkey agreed to me.
Let me run upstairs.
How did you bitches do that?
sulfur?
No turkey.
Yeah.
How about yours?
I went to Pam and Edgar's.
Yeah.
Okay.
I had mom and dad's.
And cousins.
People listening may not realize that Pam and Edgar is your father and your mother.
Yeah, I should update people every once in a while because you get new listeners all the time.
Yeah, Pam and Edgar, my mother and father,
and my sister and her boyfriend, Kay, my niece and nephew, autumn.
Is this a long-term boyfriend or is this a new relationship?
I guess like it, two years before?
Something serious.
Right.
At one point, he comes up.
He likes to
give me information
that has no value whatsoever.
Is your sister dating Giddam?
Giddam with a Thanksgiving list nice stuff.
Just stuff that, like, I know, I know that any normal person would be like, oh, cool, and just, like, pretend it was meaningful.
But, like,
he comes up and he was like, hey, check this out.
Because he's, like,
I don't know what word to use other than scavenger, but because, like, a scavenger, like, again, like, get him.
But, like, he just goes around and finds stuff and like will give it to people.
Like, he's given my mother three broken vacuum cleaners.
And she's, like, she's kind of complained about it.
It's up to three now?
Yeah.
I'm like, like, holy shit.
Stop fucking taking them.
Is it up to her to get them repaired?
Or does he think they work?
He knows they don't work because they're coming out of dumpsters.
So what is so?
So when he's ready to present, like a cat presenting a dead mouse to a.
He leaves it on her doorstep.
Why the fuck?
How does he like be like, I know those last two didn't work.
Right.
But here's the third vacuum cleaner that I can think of.
But if you combine the three, maybe you'll get one working vacuum.
It's on her to get them fixed, though.
Yes.
And I blame her.
I'm like, then don't fucking take them if you don't want this shit.
She has a working vacuum already.
It's not
like four vacuums.
Yeah, three works.
75% of them don't work.
But he shows me a picture of a wood-burning stove, and he's like...
Well, it's a picture, and he's like, yeah, I put it up on YouTube last night.
He's like, got 30 views already.
And I'm like,
I don't know what to say.
Like, I honestly, I don't know what to say.
Like,
anything other than, oh, cool.
But wait a minute, wait a minute.
Like, how does one respond in this situation?
Is this wood-burning stove or just somebody who was somehow?
What's the video on there?
I want to go, I couldn't find it.
I tried looking today because I wanted to troll them.
I couldn't find it.
I looked for a while, too.
All right.
So you don't even know if it's his wood-burning stove?
No, it's not.
It's just a video he took.
It could be just a video he took.
Yeah, it's all like sort of like white noise, and you hear like little select like you know when you hear like a like a staticky radio and certain words just come out.
That's kind of the way it is.
I got a wood-burning stove.
I've never once thought to like, you know, to
take my phone and film it and then post it.
Right.
It's just not exciting.
It's not, no.
It's
unless there's a bird in it.
Yeah.
Then I should have filmed that.
Then it's hitchcocky and yeah.
When Gato came in, I really should have manned up like I was watching a football game and ran upstairs and
filmed him taking away.
Just lower his selfie stick down two stairs.
Ghiddo, you're out of frame.
Yeah, and then I had two cousins who I haven't seen in 30 years.
They were
the last time.
No, no, these cousins from Pennsylvania who.
Wasn't one of them the one that was always scared of you?
no that was a different cousin
this these are cousins they were on like my mother's it was like my grandmother's sister's grandkids something like that so 30 years in between seeing you I mean 30 years ago you would have been in your
I was 18 yeah
18
and they would have been
older one is like a couple years older than me and one is the same age so Yeah, one was like 21.
So, I mean, wow, so now they come and see you as
a much different playing field, huh?
Right.
They're just like, how could we ever compete with you?
No, they didn't TV.
They didn't seem to,
they weren't too impressed with that.
They didn't seem to know or care really, which was good, you know.
But at the same time, it's like, you really don't have much to say.
And
at all.
It's just, no, not really.
I mean, you know, just
because like the one guy, like my one, the one cousin, the guy,
he's got his own salon, like a hairstylist.
No, he gets pussy like Warren Beatty.
No, just kidding.
He's a gay dude.
And
the other cousin
went into detail about, I guess she's like, she works for an energy company and she's talking all about how consumers can save per capita.
Oh, my God.
What is it?
She married to Jim Dowdy.
Jim Dowd, yeah.
That was the dream killer.
And
so
at a certain point, I was like,
I was just bored.
I was just bored.
So I told my one, they don't know how they, like, I was making jokes.
They don't know what to, they don't know what to make of it.
Like I said, they haven't seen it.
It's in 30 years.
They don't know if you're serious or not.
So I said that, because Suzanne and Sage went, and I said that
Suzanne didn't like the dessert that my cousin made.
I like to sort of pass that on to her.
I started a whole thing
where, like, then I let Suzanne find out, and then my nephew Hunter, he got in on it.
So it became a whole thing about, like, Suzanne's desperately trying to defend herself.
And I'm like, why would I say it?
Why would I?
I was like, look,
let's be honest about it, you know?
And, I mean, the things that should have
really
let her know that I was just kidding her.
Was the fact that you were speaking
that I wasn't dismissing views on YouTube?
She made an apple tart.
And in all fairness, it looked weird.
It looked like a pie crust where somebody cut apples in quarters and just sort of stuck them in there and put a little cinnamon on them.
But I guess it's some family recipe.
And I said that one of Suzanne's comments was like, apple tart, more like apple retart.
But she thought she really said it.
It was awesome for like maybe 20 minutes to a half hour.
And what's the rest of the house?
Is your father even acknowledging that this is even going on?
He comes in and he goes, What's going on in here?
And I was like, Suzanne doesn't like melody's dessert.
And he just turns around and walks out.
The appropriate response
from his 50-year-old son.
I was thinking that.
He's up to his shenanigans.
I was thinking that.
On the way home, I was thinking, I was like chuckling to myself at my own cleverness.
I'm like, am I too old to like do shit like that?
But it was just, I don't know, I thought it was entertaining.
It was fucking pretty funny.
What about you, Kio?
How'd you spend Thanksgiving?
Did you get Japped?
Did your Apple get Japped?
No, I got the Apple.
I had a very odd Thanksgiving that links kind of to
the overkill thing today.
Go right into Overkill from your Thanksgiving story?
Yeah, it really, you know, my Thanksgiving was pretty standard in terms of
it was just
my family and me at my parents' house, you know, deep in the wilds of Pennsylvania where they're at.
Now, when you say irreliterally, is there like nobody else around?
Is it secluded?
Yeah, it's pretty secluded.
It's pretty secluded.
I've been there.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty woodsy.
Deep in the...
Yeah, it's not like that cabin in Evil Dead, but, you you know, it's pretty secluded.
Where's your nearest neighbor?
How far away?
You could see him
in the winter, like through the trees.
You could see him and stuff like that.
So it's, but it's, you know, for us, for us
city-dwelling folk,
it's about as country as you get for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you shaking your head at?
Nothing.
But
what are you shaking your head at?
Yeah, why are you shaking your head?
Just city folk.
What are you shaking your head at, though?
I just think.
I don't know.
I'd like to back off the shaking of them.
If I can take one thing back in my entire life.
I didn't think anyone would notice.
So you're up in Pennsylvania.
Well, I mean,
you watch your football?
Did they even have TV up there?
All my father and brother, they didn't even converse in anything.
It was just they were watching football the whole time.
Okay.
They were able to watch it without having to hide the fact they were watching it.
Not only were they not hiding it, my dad's kind of going deaf, so it's at the fucking highest volume possible.
So it's like we're two rooms over, and we're like talking over the TV.
And I'm just like, will this fucking guy lower this television?
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
And you can tell when he gets up to leave because everybody else in the room lowers it.
It's just insanely loud.
So, yeah.
Why doesn't he wear like a hearing aid?
Is that like, because Edgar has the same problem.
He can't really hear that well.
I saw that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Wouldn't you?
Like, in order to hear hear better?
Because it's not like it's like a giant
whole hearing aid anymore.
I'm like, get him headphones to watch TV with.
It's like, this is insane.
This is no way to live.
And she's like, this is how he watches TV all the time.
This is blessed.
But in your privacy of your own home, you can put the miracle you're in.
I can understand if you're like, you don't want to have it and you're walking around because you feel like it's
no one's going to notice it, but if you're in your own house, yeah, who cares?
Whenever I talk to him, he, I don't have to, I'm not like, hey, pop.
You know what I mean?
Like, I talk to him on regular levels and he understands.
So I don't know what the fuck's going on with the TV.
Well, obviously, he can read lips now.
Yeah.
Maybe.
But you can't read lips on TV.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I do know that.
That's what the captioning is for.
Yeah.
I don't mean to one-up you, but my one cousin, the one who worked with the energy, she brought her daughter, who's like 26, who's deaf and mute from birth.
Oh, shit.
Evidently, she can read lips.
She hot.
There's
she can read lips.
There's evidently something in the deaf community where, like, she has, like, I think it's called a cochleal implant.
Yeah, a cochlear implant, yeah.
And she doesn't want to wear it because it's like, yo, I'm straight up deaf and shit.
Like, really?
Yeah.
What do you mean, yeah?
There's a, it's, it's a big grip in the community of, like, if you get that implant because it's messy with your brain, you're trying to deny your deaf.
There's the same thing in the prosthetic community.
I just want to hear.
But the prosthetic community, people who get like the hands, there's proponents of the hook that are like, getting that hand is horrible.
Nobody can just let other people just live.
It's always got to be like my way, oh, fuck you.
Right.
So much so that, yeah, you're shamed into being like, well, I guess I'll wear this hook.
Yeah.
Like, you don't like, like, in the black community, if you kind of act white people, you're blackish and it's an insult, so it's like, dead, but your dad, but your, but in an instance, your dad just wants a TV at an unbearable volume for the rest of the family, and you guys are complaining, though.
Well, it doesn't affect other people, I guess, when you have a hand versus a hook.
Whereas like an entire holiday festive party is forced to scream over the fucking third and down, like just to make a point.
Third and down.
Oh, my God.
I like it, QA.
I don't watch it.
Third and down.
You would have been with the Joes if it wasn't all nonsense.
Fucking boring.
Like the most boring game ever made.
If you don't have money on football, I don't know how you still watch football.
Oh, no.
It's so boring.
It's like 10 feet, stop,
two minutes.
Just go from a motherfucker.
Who watches three hours of guys just kicking a ball from one end of the field to the other and never a shot out of it?
At least it's constantly going.
He's going nowhere.
Oh, that was synchronous.
You too.
I'm starting to get scared.
If you're hiring, do you know where to post your job to find the best candidate?
Because posting your job in one place isn't enough to find quality candidates anymore.
You're not going to just put it in the want ads.
Like, you know, can you imagine looking for a job now?
Like, going through the want ads, circling shit.
I'd fucking kill myself and everyone around me.
It was just, it's just horrible.
And that's what they say.
It's like the only thing worse than having a job is looking for one, right?
Anyway, if you are hiring somebody, you're the boss.
You can do whatever you want.
So why wouldn't you use ziprecruiter.com?
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You think even like escorts?
You're like, hey, man, I'm starting an escort service.
In states where that's legal.
There's only one, right?
And even escorts.
Actually, escorts are legal.
Oh, right.
But the hookering.
It's the prostitution.
The hookery.
You could hire a lovely lady to be your arm candy for the evening.
Do you think you could?
Do you have it in you to run an escort service?
What if you gave them like
you weren't the average
pig?
Like I treat them well.
Well, not only do you treat them well, it's like good wages, health insurance, like all this shit that somebody would want.
Well, it's night shift then with uh remember michael keaton shelly long and uh fonzi yeah henry winkler yeah wasn't shelly long in that or i just have cheals on the brain
yeah no you she was definitely in it
yeah you couldn't do it you couldn't do that they worked in a morgue right yeah yeah yeah holy shit i can't i haven't heard
forever uh i don't think so i think dealing with that many women who find themselves in life that many women who are a good-looking enough to to be escorts, and B, then choose to be escorts.
I think it'd be like Wrangling Cats.
I just don't think it'd be like a fun time for me.
Well, you could be the owner, like a silent partner, let somebody else do the work.
You could be the hire.
You go to ziprecruiter.com.
You do the hiring, you let somebody else take care of all the other fucking bullshit.
Yeah, I guess so.
I think I'd get in trouble, though.
I think it's a matter of time for a lawsuit comes up against me in that situation.
So find out today why ZipRecruiter has been used by over 1 million businesses.
A million?
One of them has to be an Escort service.
And right now, listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free by going to ziprecruiter.com slash TESD.
That's ziprecruiter.com slash T-E-S-D.
One more time to try it for free.
Go to ziprecruiter.com slash TESD.
Hosts are not to mention any competitors.
I couldn't if I wanted.
Like, who the fuck is a competitor?
Oh, yeah, man.
They're going to be pissed.
They're like, the wan ads.
That's our greatest foe in the world of hiring.
So, okay, so are we going to go into this?
Because I have something that.
I'm going to roll right into the overkill.
Actually, yeah, really, really disturbing.
And I know normally that I'm like.
Thanksgiving overkill.
You come ill-prepared.
Usually I come not only ill-prepared, but I'm kind of skeptical.
But I have something, dude, and I am swearing upon anything that everything I'm about to tell you is true, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it.
Like, it's something that's actually going on to the point where I called Brian to fucking talk through this today,
and he was actually kind of like saving for a while.
What could we make him swear upon that would have meaning to this?
I think he was not bullshitting.
What would you like me to do?
What would you like me to do?
I have a Bible in the car, but I don't need to fail.
Maybe like a checkbook?
W9?
All right.
Well, all right.
My curiosity is definitely piqued.
So I have been having, and I'm not going to talk about what they are.
They're not really crucial to the story, and it's kind of one of those things that I don't really talk about.
But I've been having some like
personal issues lately that I've been trying to deal with that I've kind of been wrestling with for a little while now.
And Brian knows about them.
And
I'm driving up to my parents' house this week.
And I am.
Now we start getting into the section of the country where there's like nothing for stretches on these weird roads and whatnot.
And then you start getting into the knick-knack shops and run-down antiques.
Yeah, antiques, but not really antiques.
You know what I mean?
More like someone died and they just gave their whole house to a store to stay.
Now,
you would be
off topic, I don't want to slow this down.
You would be able to
determine a fake antique versus a real antique?
No, I don't mean I mean like I mean like you walk into a store and it's all like fucking
football.
It's like Hummel figures and shit like he's antique.
I wasn't antique.
And listen, I wasn't.
This is what I'm saying.
You said the real Tiffany.
Bang Dynasty.
So
you're driving by the antique store.
I'm driving.
Well, that's.
It's
like a barn, you know what I mean?
Anyway, I passed this one place and I listen, something tells me you have to go back
to that place that you just passed, right?
So much so that I'm like,
it's weird that the thought even entered my head.
It was like a thought in my head.
Are you by yourself?
By myself.
And,
right, I'm driving by myself.
I guess I should have mentioned that.
And I keep going a couple of miles.
And it's really like I'm almost getting anxiety that I didn't drive back, right?
Fuck it.
What am I going to do?
I see that I can go up and I can listen to my father's TV blast, or I can turn back around and see what's going on forth and down.
So now I turn around.
So I turn around and I go back to this fucking, this shitty old building, right?
And I walk inside and there is.
Is this a store or is this a deserted building?
No, it's a store, but it's like a fucked up store.
And it's open on Thanksgiving?
Yes.
Ooh.
Yes.
Is this shining shit?
This is getting weird, dude.
I'm telling you, this gets fucking weird.
Like, what time?
What time of day?
It's probably 10 in the morning.
Okay.
So I go there and
I go there and I walk inside and it's just like fucking crazy, stupid knickknacks and shit like that.
But there in this glass shelf in the back of it, it's just one of these places that have like different vendors.
It's a flea market.
It's an indoor flea market.
Okay, we have one of them and we have an antique place like that in Red Bank where there's different vendors in the building selling antiques.
So they all have have like different cases and
manufactured cases.
There's this old guy in the back, and he is sitting in front of a glass case.
In the glass case, is this fucking weird-looking skull with like a copper faceplate on it.
And there's candles around it, and there's a fucking,
I swear to God, there's so many $5 bills in this case.
So, of course, I'm just like, well, what is that?
And he says to me, and he shows me a sign, he says, it's the skull of something called a Prussian kissing devil.
The Prussian kissing devil.
And apparently, what it was.
Is it a human skull or an animal?
It's a human skull.
He says it's a real human skull.
He says that in Prussia, he didn't really know the year.
He goes, there was this woman.
Prussia now is Iraq, right?
I fucking know, dude.
I haven't looked at it myself.
It's Persia.
Yeah, it's Persia.
What's Prussia now?
Prussia was like, I think it was like a combination of four different countries, like Germany,
Russia.
Oh, so we were talking
like Prussian embraces
when Atlantis was around then, probably, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Exactly.
This story doesn't even need any fucking embellishment, dude.
It gets so bizarre.
Okay.
So he says, so the story is,
he doesn't know.
He's not giving me a lot of details.
And you know what I mean?
He's just hanging out there.
He says that apparently this woman,
because I'm just like, that's an awesome name.
What the fuck is Prussian?
Kissing Devil.
Prussian Kissing Devil.
The skull of the Prussian Kissing devil.
And he says that there was this woman in this village who was rumored to have slept with the devil.
Like she was one of those things where it's like the village was like she, and the reason they said that is because she had a baby who was fucking really fucked up looking when it was born.
Now the skull looks normal.
All right.
The skull doesn't look out of whack.
But they said that this baby was so deformed that they basically,
you know, said this woman fucked the devil.
They cast her out and they left the baby out in the woods to die.
Okay.
Would you say it's like almost a Kinsit Woods, the Leeds story?
Yeah, it sounds like the Jersey Devil a little bit.
But Mrs.
Leeds did not sleep with the devil.
Okay.
Don't fuck it.
Sorry, sorry.
Well, listen.
So now
this devil,
so now years later, the child survives, comes back to the village, is fucked up, and is just like...
I asked, why is it called the kissing devil?
And apparently, like, he would go in there and he would kill, he would, like, like cause all sorts of mayhem and he would kiss them like that was the thing like that was like his trademark
when you say mayhem it like he would he would kill he would kill kill rape all sorts of weird shit and then would leave like a bloody kiss on the on on the body
lips like bloody i don't know that lip prints like yeah that's like lipstick on a mirror right and perfect that's it and he said uh that they killed they've they've hunted him down and killed him right yeah they cut off his head and this is the skull of what they call the prussian Kissing Devil.
And they learned that if you give the thing $5, well, they said money, but I asked $5, and he was like, that's just what it became.
He says, if you give it a gift of money,
it will solve your problems.
It's basically like voodoo.
Right.
So what do I do?
I give him $5.
Right?
Whatever, the lark direct point.
Go up to my parents' house, blah, blah, blah.
I find later that night as I'm lying in bed, I have a clarity wall to this problem that I've been dealing with for quite a while that
fucking, to me, solved the problem.
Like, I was able to find a perspective and an angle on this issue that I've been having that I never had before, and goes a long way towards putting this thing to rest.
What was once so murky now became so crystal clear, so crystal clear.
Path just opened up out of nowhere inside that brain.
That's right.
So today,
I go back to the shop, Okay.
And
the guy's not there.
It's this younger guy.
Okay.
And he tells me that the guy, and I said, oh, I forget his name, Walter or somebody.
I forget his name.
I forget his name.
And I asked, I said, hey, where's the guy here yesterday?
That guy
died
yesterday after I fucking, after I gave the five.
Did not look ill?
Did not look ill.
He looked fine to me.
You said he was old, though, right?
He was older.
Well, not old, old, but he was like, you know, I'd say 70s.
You know what I mean?
Late 60s or early 70s.
Now,
so I'm like, well,
that's fucking weird.
He didn't close it.
He still opened up his little.
Well, it's just one little booth.
Well, that's what I said to the guy.
It's exactly what I said to the guy.
And he says that he goes, well, it's Black Friday.
They're not guys.
They even celebrate Black Friday at some shithole.
Fucking
open on Thanksgiving.
He's telling me.
It's Black Friday.
We can't even honor
the guy who fucking owned the cube.
It was his his fucking grandson.
It was his fucking grandson.
Even I
would, like, if something happened like that, I mean, we would have to close.
Even on Black Friday, we would have closed.
Like, if Giddam had stroked out last night.
Yeah, we would have to close it.
You would have closed.
You would close today?
I close on Black Friday.
But for what?
I'm not having a funeral today.
Just out of respect.
Okay.
But the respect you don't see on a day-to-day basis.
He would show you in depth.
But I finally can't appreciate it.
All right, so
Grandson's there, he says that they just can't, they just didn't, they knew he wouldn't want them to not be there for that.
So, blah, blah, blah.
And he actually made a point very similar to what Genham just said.
I was like, well, the wake and the funeral is not today, anyway.
So now there's a sign next to it, it says, the sign on it, next to it, says Prussian Kissing Devil, blah, blah, blah, not for sale, firm.
It says on
So I said, let me ask you something.
I was like,
can I buy that?
Can I buy the skull?
The guy
says no, and I said, all right, well, how much?
Does it come with the $5 bills?
No,
I wasn't thinking of that.
Long story short, Walter, for $650.
Never heard him say that.
What?
Long story short?
No.
You never used the ER in the back of my name.
Walter?
Yeah.
You don't like it?
No.
I think I used it once too, and you said don't like it.
I'm freaked out.
You really are.
Something's off.
I said something's really off of you.
You've never said ER in my name.
I'm fucking freaked out.
As long as I can remember now.
Because in my head, in that moment, telling me to turn around to the car, in it, finding this fucking skull, in it, giving it the $5.
Does grandson know where you were?
No.
Grandson, finally, I got to $650,
and he says, I'll sell it to you.
That's a good pickup.
You got it?
I just came.
I came from the store here let's see it okay first
comes the stand that i was on
we'll put up some accompanying pictures take some pictures get them yeah
it was on this stand in this store can i just feel that it looks like it look yeah it looks like it's iron like something you would
copper i'm telling you a sword out of right look what i have right now what's that called an ore i have
i have fucking goosebumps dude i'm telling you this thing is unbelievable an anvil that's what it looks like okay But it's not as heavy like an anvil.
It's kind of hollow.
It's like a fake anvil.
You're going to fucking
already dismissing
based on the anvil, which is really a stand.
Dude, you can fucking dismiss all you want.
I don't know if you're going to be able
to fucking dismiss this, which is a real
human skull.
That's not a human skull.
Oh, you don't think so?
Get in there and look.
No, no, no.
This is the copper plate that I was thinking about.
Yeah, this is the, I guess it looked like they dipped it in copper or put copper over it and this they put some sort of shellac on the head.
But the designs and the writing are really weird.
And they're carved in and inlaid.
Can I hold it?
Yeah, just
of course I'll be.
But get a look at it.
You're going to see it's a skull.
I have the same questions, dude.
It's it's a it's a like a copper mask put on the front of a skull.
The skull has intricate carvings in it
and copper, I mean, copper
inlays in the fucking bone.
Even Gidam isn't doubting.
He's a doubting time.
Look in the cuts.
You'll see that it's a real skull.
Why would that matter?
Because you see the bone, the mouse.
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, it's like with
the font now.
Towards the top would be.
Is that the stuff that falls off a baby skull?
No, that's the soft spot because it has if you look in that skull that has
cuts, you see the bone.
Like the
Dude.
$650?
$650.
I just paid for that.
And it is, I am telling you, Walt, this thing is.
I don't even know what to say, dude.
Like, the driving, the call back to the place, the fact that I gave the $5,
that it kind of helped my problem to achieve.
And when you gave the $5, did you specifically say to yourself, I want this skull to solve my problem?
I did like a wishing well, how you jump it into a wishing well.
I gave the $5 and I just concentrated on that issue.
And
dude, I'm telling you.
So who gets the five dollars now if I want to make one, you?
I don't know.
I'm not thinking.
I wasn't thinking of monetizing it.
Shit, get him.
You must have a million things you'd want to ask it.
So the next three paychecks are dedicated to the Prussian kissing devil.
So that is the skull of the Prussian kissing devil.
And you can't allude without giving away exactly what the problem was.
It was like a
physical?
No, it was like an emotional.
An emotional
woman thing.
Okay,
then it was sexual.
Yeah.
No, it wasn't.
Dude, I'm telling you, this thing.
Just say it was sexual.
Just say it couldn't get a boner.
I got a fucking flat-on boner.
Wow.
It's a real human skull of this creature.
You can tell, like, if you look real close, it's like that's what the bone looks like.
Like, it gets that porous sort of look to it.
Yeah.
And the guy.
Is it legal to sell human skulls?
Dude, I have no fucking clue.
I will tell you this, though.
The grandfather would never sell it.
Would never sell it.
So the first fucking...
It's not even 24 hours.
He's not on this earth and their son.
The grandson's selling his most prized possession?
Did the grandson allude to any reason why the grandfather died?
Like choked at dinner, something like that?
I didn't really want to get into it.
Yeah,
that seemed like a lot.
I mean, he made it sound like it was a heart attack or something like that.
Which is, in general, it's legal.
It is legal to sell human skulls.
How old do they have to be?
Because you couldn't just go out now.
And the weird thing is, like, where the copper mask
comes to the skull,
there's a ring of skulls around it.
Yeah.
I guess it's a state.
It's just it's determined by state, but most states.
Pennsylvania, I would imagine, would have to be.
I don't think this is on the legal radar, this one.
Yeah.
So, dude, now here I am.
First of all, I own a human skull, which is fucking crazy.
Second of all, apparently it was of this fucking madman, deformed creature in Prussian, an unknown time.
Three, who carved the skull?
Who put copper inlays on it?
What do the symbols mean?
Like, look at these fucking symbols.
Well, well, that can play into my overkill today.
So I may be able to help you with that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've been solving symbols.
Well, can't you look at that?
Have they been code breaking when talking and shit?
Because if you look, they don't match.
There's four symbols on the quarters of the skull, and they don't match.
They're all different symbols.
So if you put them together, it could complete some sort of puzzle.
Four
color demons.
Dude, I feel like you're not taking this as seriously as I am.
I gotta be honest with you.
Yeah,
now you know how it feels.
Look at that.
Well, I have the evidence here.
You know what?
Evidence of a paper-mâché skull?
It has no weight.
Even the mask doesn't have any weight.
Come on.
You're going to have to go against your boy.
What do you think, buddy?
I mean, it does have weight to it.
We all know that's a real skull.
That's a real skull, dude.
That has no weight to it.
Well, it doesn't still have the brain and shit in it.
Yeah.
Even if it's worthless then.
Sometimes it's worthless even when it has a brain in it right now.
I mean.
Yeah, but well, this is the other thing, man.
I'm telling you what I personally fucking experienced with this thing.
This isn't like third, fourth story.
I'm telling you what I, what I, this is making me into a believer of many weird things.
And Giddam,
what's your thinking about this?
What's your gut say?
I trust your gut.
I wouldn't put it.
There are, there is a known history of decorating skulls.
I want to say it's Tibetan, possibly, because I have been to a couple.
Don't you fucking say you've ever been out of country.
No, I've been to a couple antique stores in New York.
I have been to a couple antique stores in New York searching for Zippo lighters and come across like...
Third and down!
I don't doubt it.
You don't doubt it.
Yeah.
But look in the cracks.
You see
the bone structure and stuff like that.
I'm telling you.
You could bring it to a professor of anthropology.
I'll bet she could help you out with with it.
What?
Come on.
Would copper move like that?
Well,
are you doubting that metal's copper?
What do you think?
It could be brass with a patina.
It could be brass with a patina on it.
What's that?
A patina.
Well, he didn't say it was copper.
I said it.
That looks like copper to me.
Oh, so you don't even know.
No, there is.
You can see some yellow streaks, so that's why I'm thinking it might be brass.
Oh, it could be brass.
Yeah, whatever metal.
I should just say metal.
I'm not saying that.
That wasn't like.
I just should have said gold.
This is a grown.
You said that this the king, the Prussia Kissing Devil, was full-grown.
He just said he came back to the village later.
He grew, he definitely grew.
I mean, I don't even think,
I don't even think a skull,
this is the shape of a skull, would be this kind of flat that it would lay on in it.
Sure, without the
lower jaws.
Is that the lower mandible?
Yeah.
Isn't that the lower jaw right there?
That's its
artistic license on the face part of it, the copper part of it.
So you believe this?
I.
Well, you believe it's a skull.
I believe it's a skull, yes.
You believe it's a real, this is a real human skull from the time, dating back to when Prussia existed.
You're finding, you find skulls in everywhere.
Really?
All over your house.
In your crawl spaces,
in your trunks.
You've eaten
a skull anywhere in your entire life.
Now, this fucking asshole is going, you find skulls everywhere.
Okay, now let's specify.
Human skull?
Definitely.
But you're still finding prehistoric skulls in caves and such.
So to think that a skull from a couple hundred years ago that was up here.
A couple hundred years ago?
Well, the kingdom of Prussia 1701.
So, yeah, I mean, it's about 300 years?
Yeah, a little bit less than the.
Like, you could find Civil War skulls, I'm sure.
Yeah.
It was just so we it was a part of Germany.
That's it.
Today it's Germany, Poland, Russia, Lithuania, Denmark, Belgium, the Czech Republic, and Switzerland.
And I believe it was not uncommon for
old
fake teeth to be done from graveyards, or not graveyards, from battle sites.
They would harvest the teeth out of the skulls and reuse them in dentures.
That's crazy.
Yeah, what are you waiting on?
No brief, digging.
I'm on it, Ryan.
You, Bri, come on.
What's up?
Okay, so Giddam's a believer.
I'm not ready to lay in yet.
I want to hear what you think about this.
He was, I'll say this much, man.
When he called and he told me
about
stopping by,
seeing it, given the five bucks, and then when I talked to him this morning, it was like two different guys.
And plus,
you have the advantage of knowing what his problem was.
You know the dirty details of what was giving him sleepless nights.
Right.
So if I could.
Was it
yeah, what?
Yeah.
The man who solved all the problems last week.
All the listeners' problems were solved.
Get another job.
But was his problem a 911?
I wouldn't say it was a 911.
I would say.
On the scale of 1 to 10?
Well,
what would you put his problem that he was?
Well, for me.
What are these little caveats?
You could say any problem out loud.
You fall the dog, and I could be like, I don't know, everybody's fall the dog, but to you, that's a horrible thing.
Well, I would think
that's there's no one can
poo-poo
someone's passing as not being a problem.
Unless it's the fucking grandfather who works.
What do you think, Briarly?
No,
what was his problem?
Do you believe that this is this is this is a first?
Is it a real skull?
I do think it's a real skull, yeah.
Just by the if you look where the inlays are and you see that
you see that spongy, yeah, you're wearing this weird, like, abortionist headband slash magnifying.
Picture of me looking at it.
Can you see my goggle?
Yes.
Head of the fucking
psychology department.
Oh, he's poo-pooing it.
I don't know about it.
Well, give also a thumbs up just in case it's real.
Okay.
So go ahead, continue.
I do believe it's a real skull.
You can see like in the inlays that spongy bone quality.
Where do you see spongy bone quality?
I'm not seeing it.
It's everywhere there's a cut.
The stippling, if you will.
Yeah.
Okay, so how did they, what is the indentions of
the.
It seems like as they were carving with whatever they were carving with, they chipped off the bone.
It didn't, you know, they weren't like using like a Dremel
with the diamond tip where it gets like does a precise cut.
They were
like carving away at it and some flaked off or chipped off it's hand carved is what you're saying yeah
right and then they put the somehow they they they dipped the front the the front part in copper and then probably reshaped it because obviously i would think they hand hammered they would hammer that out probably into the shape and then adorned um attached it covered up the joining with this because it looks like pitch or something with this um these skulls because these skulls aren't part of that well we don't even know how fucking old this thing is that could have been a repair done you know what i mean by somebody somebody who just, I mean, who knows what's going on?
Like someone has experience with humans.
I have no doubt it's a real human skull.
That I get.
I'm just struggling with my own experiences with this thing.
I want to get into your problem.
To Q, this problem was a 7.5 to 8, I would say.
On your Richter scale?
Yeah.
It's been keeping me going.
10 being the 911.
Okay.
So it was a 7.
And I've dealt with plenty 911s with Q over the years.
I think if you take a look from this angle.
Well, you know what?
In Q's defense of this, he did say it was a deformed skull.
So you're looking.
Google some deformed skulls.
Why are you looking up normal skulls?
I'm looking a mirror.
Oh, shit.
It's the red bank kissing devil.
And look, I mean, and this, you can see the ridge marks from the skull plates right there.
Where?
What, those lines?
Yeah.
They go all throughout the skull.
They're also in the design.
If you look at the top, those ridge plates are in there.
I think we're glossing over history being made.
This is the only time Walt has ever been a naysayer ever
in the history of overcolour.
All right.
So, well, all right, so, Bri, you say you, you, you,
but as a,
you're willing to
go on that you're willing to say out loud, this is a real human skull.
Yes.
But you're not willing to say you think it's from Prussia.
You have no idea where it's from.
Could be 10 years old.
It could be 300 years old.
We don't know.
Could be.
I know there's some listeners out there who could do some sampling on this.
I would think an X-ray
would be a good start because then you could see past this
copper plate and see if it has the orbital structure.
Can Can x-rays see through copper?
Yeah.
I would think so, yeah.
Metal, let's say.
If it's not copper, metal.
I don't know what it is.
It smells like copper, though.
It looks like copper to me.
It smells like a penny.
Yeah.
It's a shame that Troy.
It's a shame that Troy's not here, because Troy could probably identify a human skull.
I'm going to
not apologize, but I'm going to.
Well, we're working it out.
We're talking about.
But you need this.
You can't have everyone just agree with you right away that it's real.
But you know what?
The smell is convincing me.
Right.
That's what my hands smell like when i've been holding pennies too long or skulls
no i'm serious now it's now it's really got me convinced that it could be real but well i mean the thing that gets me is like the guy was like give it a gift think of your problem
and i gave it the five dollars and and it just did you uh yours yours was solved within 12 hours it in my mind i i
the tumbler's locked into place and i was gonna have five bucks you can do and then next week we'll see if your problem got solved
i know you got a big problem.
I know you got one.
Do it.
Get them.
Come on.
I'll put the five bucks.
You don't have to.
You just say what it is.
And also, what are you holding on the pennies for too long?
Is it when Sunday Jefferson?
It does.
It's definitely copper.
It smells like copper.
Yeah, but see, that looks like.
I don't know.
Maybe they raised it.
It looks like.
Hold on now.
Get them.
I mean, Q, put it back on its pedestal.
How did they do it?
Were they like tucked under?
Well, when I started, it was just like.
It was on it.
Yeah, it just looked like, yeah.
Now, tell him how you did it so he does it the right way.
Basically,
what I did was kind of did it like not believing.
I've kind of did it as like a lark.
Oh, you know, he's already a believer.
You already got this fucker convicted.
But I just put him on, like, there was a pile of fives in front of it.
So, if you put it there, I guess you got this chump fucking ready to fucking
tuck it in under, like, somewhere because
now I know what your problem is.
Okay.
Don't fucking lie to the skull and not yes, that problem, which we're thinking about.
Okay.
It's not about a car either.
We also, I mean, I don't know.
Does it always work within fucking 12 hours?
I don't know what the process is.
Well, we're going to give it a week.
Okay, yeah.
Until the next time we meet for Telum C.
Okay, great.
We'll do it.
Dude,
I want to figure this out just as much as you guys do.
This thing, we could all agree.
Look at the week.
Let's keep it the five, though.
Well, I guess I'm the owner now, so I guess me now.
All right.
Yeah.
So I'm supposed to give it the five and then give it the five.
Where do you slip it?
Well, you just put it on the base there.
Okay, then what was the next step?
Or write my wallet.
Oh, I just didn't.
I wasn't given instructions.
I just thought of the problem while I gave it the gift.
The gift.
Yeah.
Let's see what happens.
All right, good.
Yep.
Now, I don't know the rules.
And you'll know if this problem is solved then.
And this is just he's got his problem is pro not, I don't know what Q's problem was, but it involved the same thing.
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
This is weird.
It's weird how everybody's problems are always usually revolving.
Females, yeah.
Trust me, I should give this thing fucking $5,000.
Come on, kiss and double.
Come back to life again.
Use your ATM card, kiss and double.
Just swipe a credit card through it.
Just put one of those things, those phone things now that they can put on phones to take a cube.
Put it right on the anvil.
It's crazy.
Isn't it a weird-looking artifact?
Like, no matter what.
Yeah, it's just a personality.
It's bizarre.
Now, you are also, I'm a little concerned
because you are dangerously coming close to Michael Jackson territory now.
Now I owe human remains.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
You are becoming that weirdo.
Yeah, but he just wanted to buy the body of a specific person.
You're not using like
you don't care if it's
surgical drugs to fall asleep, are you?
Not surgical, no.
No, not surgical.
You're drinking a gallon of beer.
You're drinking natty ice, a gallon of it.
But it does have like a weird bulge on the back of the thing.
I think it's you're it looks it looks very creepy.
It's a different orientation.
Even in the copper, like even on the cheeks, there's little designs.
Now, what are your plans?
What are the future plans for the kissing devil?
Well, this is why I'm really freaked out today because I don't know.
Can we leave it in the case or you're taking it home?
Well, I was going to take it home.
Okay.
I was going to take it home.
People would love to come in.
You can make a lot more money if it's here.
Well, I can't think of it as a...
I can't.
The fucking old man did.
I know.
I don't know what to do.
He died.
Yeah, a good long life.
He didn't have any problems either.
It's weird because all the designs are slightly off.
You know what I mean?
It's like...
You're telling me you would display this in your home?
I don't know what to do.
Like, I'm kind of still freaking out.
Like, this is all very new to me.
You know what I mean?
So, you're taking it home with you today?
I'm taking it home.
I'm going to see what I can do.
I'm going to see what happens.
I don't know what to do.
This could be like the Hope Diamond, Nokia.
I'm in Uncharted Territory here, Walt.
I kind of wish I was still at the track because I know people that have the digital x-ray machine.
They could do the x-ray right here.
Is that the first five dollars you made off of it?
I don't look at his making five.
I don't know what to do with the money.
You can give it back to me.
Well, then, I'm not sure it'll work then.
I don't give a fuck.
Problem, not mine.
I mean, I'll give it back to you, but
I don't know if it's going to work.
You should take it and just like wherever you set it up.
If his problem doesn't resolve by next week, you give it back to me.
Okay.
I would keep it just,
but you want to take the gift away from the kissing, the Prussian kissing?
That usually doesn't happen, yeah.
Yeah.
All right, whatever.
But get him, now, we want some sort of truthful resolution.
Are you willing to tell that on the air?
Whether it's whether right now, yes.
Nice.
Okay.
Thank you.
It's for the good of...
Yeah, no, it's just.
I've been all about your welfare.
You know it.
I would never steer you wrong.
Yeah.
I look out for you constantly.
Yes, you do.
And that's not sarcastic either.
I don't know.
This one looks Chinese.
You know what?
No, this one does.
Like, I've never had an experience like this.
Really?
Didn't you have a haunted Zippo?
Oh, yeah, they're trying to get it.
It's asking about the Haunted Zippo.
That's right.
It's on the Saippo was your dream.
Yeah, but that was, you know.
That was bullshit.
That was kind of whatever it was.
This is real.
Yeah, no.
This one's real.
Last time I tried to do this, that was bullshit.
I lost my game.
Now I got a problem.
I don't know, man.
I should have made it about my wrist.
No.
Okay.
You should have done it about female problems.
Because that's what the skull is all about, because that's what it did.
It would go into the village and it would handle female problems.
It would remove females
and kissing them.
Well, if it solves the female problem, or if it doesn't solve the female problem, give them another five bucks because your wrist is going to need it.
Now, this is something we can all get behind.
With Christmas coming up, up,
And
you pronounce that movement as in bowel movement.
Except these watches ain't shit.
They are awesome.
It was founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank.
The watchmaker's goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion.
Hey, Walt here, sorry to interrupt Brian on this watch ad, but apparently Brian forgot to give a lot of pertinent information regarding MVMT watches.
He forgot to tell you that you're going to get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT Watches.com slash TESD.
That's MVMT Watches, W-T-C-H-E-S dot com slash TESD.
He forgot to tell you that this watch has a really clean design.
Seriously, he forgot to tell you that he's been getting compliments ever since he put one on.
He forgot to tell you that now is a time to step up your watch game.
And the only way to tell time is with an MVMT watch.
So please
go over there, check the watch out.
Okay, now back to Brian's ad read, which gave you absolutely no information whatsoever.
Thank you.
I guess they're online.
Mother Victor.
MotherThomasWatches.com slash T-E-S-D.
Join the movement.
Speaking of the,
are we revealing that it's Giddam's hand on the?
Well, I think anybody who listens knows it was Giddam's hand.
Anyone who's listened, yeah.
If you haven't listened to the
Christmas special, how dare you?
You should go and get it right now.
Band.
Go at T-E-S-D-Xmas.com.
$4.99 for four hours and two two minutes.
That's only a buck and a quarter an hour.
That's cheap, man.
Of pure Christmas entertainment.
And the sextology all six, 20 bucks.
Come on.
Come on, I need to make my five bucks back.
I just wasted it on a fucking.
We got to sell at least one more.
But yeah, you were saying that
somebody recommended that you smash his lump with a book and that should take care of it.
Well, yeah, they call it the Bible thumpers used to get this, they said.
And
what they would do is they would take a big, thick, heavy book
and smash it, smash the bump, and it would break apart inside.
Now, I thought,
I don't know, we've got some pretty heavy books here, but I don't want any of the books getting damaged.
All the stuff we sell at Jay and Bob's is C10 mint.
Right.
I have my eye on that John Romita-signed Spider-Man over there.
But I had it, but I got it.
We don't have any copies of Constellation Paul sitting around here.
Have it that way?
Just drop all of them.
Ten of them together.
Take 10 of those together.
But I had a wrench in my car that would do the job.
Yeah.
Wrench, book, whatever.
You wouldn't let him smash it with a book?
He's unwilling to let me take a whack at that thing.
Literally.
Yeah.
So, what are your plans for it then?
You've had almost two weeks now since we recorded.
Do you believe that it's a gang deli in?
The pictures I've seen, yes, it seems to.
So, why don't you just let us on air take a whack at that point?
Because I've never read anything about it not being painful or painless or anything like that.
Yeah, I'm not going to, I'll just take a couple of whacks.
What's up, fuck that fourth and down?
Well, you got to take care of it at some point.
Yeah,
I will.
Medically.
All right, so you got one, Bri, or you want me to go?
Well, you said
you said yours ties into this.
I'm done for now, buddy.
Can we take it off the table?
It's freaking me out.
Is it freaking you out?
Yeah, I'm afraid it's going to fall, also.
Yeah, well, it's not also on the greatest
pedestal isn't that secure.
No.
Pedestal altar?
What would you call it?
I don't know.
An anvil.
I don't know.
Get them.
I thought you should let somebody sent me a.
Their name isn't here, but it's
Blade Runners Systems.
Blade Runners Systems.com.
Sent me a sweet fucking butterfly knife.
Now, I will tell you something.
I was holding it, gave it to Sunday Jeff.
That guy was swinging it around like he's done it for his whole life.
So I'm really wondering what's going on with him.
That he knows how to swing around a ballasong like that.
And I asked you if I could cut it open your
cystic lump.
And you said no.
Because this thing's sharp.
It is.
I shaved some hair off my arms.
That's a nice knife, man.
Thank you to whomever sent this Blade Runner systems.
But yeah, okay, you said that not only does yours tie into this, but Gidham's presence was necessary for you to.
Well, now that
we have at the table no skeptics
to war,
maybe ever.
Yeah.
Well, if you believe this,
then you can't hold anything on the bottom.
I'm very confused about this.
I'll admit, I'm very confused about this.
I don't ever want to hear you fucking come at me for something that being ridiculous or...
Definitely nothing supernatural related.
Give you that.
Time travel-related, maybe.
But
I am very unsettled right now.
I can't remember if you were a believer in the Illuminati before today.
Your acquisition of the fucking Kiss and Bandit.
Now he's diminishing
the Prussian Kiss and Demons fucking lore.
Did you believe in the Illuminati or were you a skeptic?
No, I think that I could buy that.
I think it was a reptilian elite I didn't buy into.
Do you believe the Illuminati?
I think the Illuminati could exist.
Or an Illuminati-like group could exist, yeah.
And I think they're doing a great job.
Well, I think, well, I don't think.
I want to let you guys know that I have been officially
contacted by the Illuminati.
Really?
It's a first.
What was that?
What was that?
Fucking chuckle right there.
What was that?
How they contacted you?
Persian bitch.
Russian.
Russian.
All I'm doing is reporting on what happened.
What was that?
Nothing.
The first right out of the gate.
You're chuckling.
Let me see what you got.
All right.
So.
I'm thrown off.
That came to me, well, it came to us, actually, because it says secret stash attention TSD.
Look how it's handwritten, too.
So, it's all of us.
In October, but I think it was for me personally.
It's a white envelope.
But look at the hand.
Look at the
Texas.
You weren't supposed to reveal where it was postmarked from.
Oh, well, cut that out then.
Okay.
Okay.
No, you don't have to cut it out.
The return address just says Beyonce and Jay-Z.
Okay, so it's just a white, no return address, a forever USA love stamp, and it says secret stash attention.
This is okay.
Did you look at the handwriting?
Are you looking at it?
Right off the bat, it's striking, right?
Bold.
And it's like written by somebody who's
authoritative and mysterious.
Definitely mysterious.
Right?
Yeah.
No return address.
No.
What's this?
That was in the envelope.
What is this?
Oh, you have to decode it.
What is this?
Can you take a picture of that so we can post that to Giddam?
Yeah.
So it's something written in code with what looks like
latitude and longitude on the bottom, Giddam?
Yes.
And a little dick.
It's an omega symbol.
Yes.
Right?
It's either north or south.
I can't remember.
Did you type in these coordinates?
Yes.
What comes up?
Well,
me and Giddem
were,
we attempted to solve this puzzle.
We didn't know what it was before.
It looks like the letter appears to be written in what.
I'm not saying this is what it is, but like, you know how in Star Wars, when they go to a computer and there's some language you can't tell, that's what this is written on.
I initially thought it was Klayan, possibly Kardassian.
Okay, Kardashian.
Kardassian.
Okay.
That's Kardashian.
Explain it to the explain it to him.
Kardashian is one of the alien races, yes.
Yeah, I got that.
You know what it is?
Sure.
It does not match any known
sci-fi font or script.
And it's handwritten.
Yes.
Look at the handwriting on that.
That's printed.
That looks like it's printed.
That's not a.
It looks like a print, like
a Xerox.
Well, no, I mean, but that's handwritten, brother.
Right, that's what I mean.
But it's so neat that it looks like some.
Well, you can see that they did it in pencil first and then did the writing over it.
So they really walked in and made sure this was clear.
Time was put into this.
So you guys have to.
I didn't read the
break.
We fucking broke the code.
Yeah.
Did you?
Yes.
Okay.
Now, I believe.
It looks like it's just words that aren't completed, right?
Yes.
Go ahead.
Let me see.
Yes, sir.
No, I'm not scoffing.
But I believe this was the first.
The Illuminati made an attempt.
No, it's not like that.
I tried that too.
Q was putting it up to the glass.
It's possibly Da Vinci-ish where he wrote backwards.
I'm not mocking.
I'm trying to work with it.
You don't have to work on it.
I already got it decoded right here.
But I want to see if I can decode it.
Good luck.
Yeah, come in and get him.
You just fucking spent $650 on a piece of fucking junk, and now you're ready to decode Illuminati messages.
What are you high?
You want some medical grade anesthesia?
What was Michael Jackson fucking
cuffing?
What was it that he was on that he was getting?
Yeah.
Anyway, I believe this was the Illuminatis
was reaching out to me, and if I could solve the puzzle,
that was the first step
to becoming, you know, to letting them know that I am worthy.
Got you.
I think that's a good test.
Well,
do you want to read out loud to the listeners what the decoded message says?
You want me to do it?
Yeah.
All right.
Do you want to just read the top part?
Okay.
He snatches it away from Giddam.
I'll hand it to him.
I'm in the Illuminati, not you.
What are you ripping off?
No, this is all bullshit that, like, get him put on the bottom.
Actually, let's just be honest with him, Giddam.
You had to go outside.
But I don't think that Illuminati is going to fault us for this because that just shows our level of
wherewithal and our, you know, we had to go outside and find somebody who really knew about decoding puzzles and shit.
Right?
So you went to where?
I went to a group of people that I know.
It's a private closed group.
And so this is the correspondent.
Gatum asks, what language is it?
And then the person from this unknown website that you on the darknet.
Unknown group, yes.
What's it on the darknet?
Yes.
It's just a substitution.
Cipher.
The cipher.
What's that?
Yeah.
I assigned each symbol an arbitrary letter of the alphabet and used some sort of formula to cheat.
But I just want to, I think this is just a test to see if we could break it.
We did.
And now I think tonight
when whoever sent this listens to it, I believe now it's just we're opening up a real dialogue now.
Okay.
All right.
So you want to.
Because this is for, they're like, if they can't get past this, there's no way.
There's no way I belong in it.
Right.
But again, I mean, I haven't told you this, but I don't think the invitation is for both of us.
Okay.
I'm good with that.
Evidently, it's not even for me and Q, even though it's addressed to us.
All right.
So here we go.
We are Illuminati.
Path to Enlightenment.
Second Coming.
And then there's some numbers.
What's the numbers?
Read the numbers.
That could be important.
I want you to read the whole thing.
6017,
320.
Twilight to the completion of the equinox.
We are many, we are few, we are chosen.
GPS coordinates are for Georgia guidestones?
Georgia guidestones.
What are the Georgia guidestones?
It's tough to explain.
You have to see them.
It's a.
You've seen them?
I've seen pictures of them.
It's almost like a stonehedge-type formation that appeared overnight, and it gives directions, ten guidelines
in order for the world to survive, which includes culling the population.
It's written in multiple languages,
which was erected in 1980
on granite.
So, what do you guys think?
The designer and meaning of the guidelines.
What, they just appeared one day?
Yes.
Ryan?
We are Illuminati, plastic, enlightenment, sick,
second coming.
I think you spelled incorrectly.
Yeah, I know.
I don't have to be in the Illumina.
I even know that.
To the completion of the Ecomass.
We are many.
So this person who wrote it to you would have misspelled shit?
I don't know.
We are many.
We are fine.
But that could just be the way that might be the way they spell it.
In our dictionary, it's spelled incorrectly.
According to my team of codebreakers.
Right.
Oh, so you guys didn't break this?
Your code breakers broke it?
Yeah,
we couldn't break it.
We needed to look outside us to figure it out.
I'm sure you want to, I mean, this is your first step in becoming Illuminati.
You're sure you want to reveal that?
But I think it shows, I just want to be honest with them because they probably already know Red Day I didn't solve it.
They already know that I had to go outside my
ingenuity and my ability to like, okay, I can't do it, but
I'll find someone else who could do it.
Just shows what the lengths I'm willing to go.
Right.
You asked Kiddom.
Well,
there's no one else.
We found somebody and we got it done.
Yeah.
That's all up to me.
I hope that's all that needs to be done on this first test.
And now the lines of communication are just going to open up.
They'll send you a second letter.
Send me a second test or a second thing, or maybe it'll be an invitation to join.
And I got to be honest, I don't know if I'll be able to even podcast after that anymore.
Uh-oh.
That sucks.
Well, Giddam, you won't be the Illuminati, so you could take Walt's place.
Have you heard of this Chicada 3301?
You must have heard of it, right?
Giddam?
Oh, really?
It's a name given to an enigmatic
organization that, on six occasions, has posted a set of complex puzzles and alternate reality games to recruit code breakers.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
These puzzles still haven't been solved, right?
They said it's the most elaborate puzzle of the internet age, and no one can solve it.
Kind of like the
what's his name, Zodiac.
Like back in the day, some of those letters, they were never able to break the code.
Well, what do you think, Hugh?
Well, the Georgia, I've been reading up on the Georgia Fieldstone.
They're pretty fucking interesting.
You know,
this is,
did he tell you how he, what, what the language is or it's a simple substitution cipher so you you assign each symbol an arbitrary value and like um
you ever see the the the one that's in the uh newspaper it's like this letter means Longfellow sure that puzzle it's the same thing but you're you're substituting symbols for letters so then you put in those you assign the letters it's almost the simplest type of code you could write
I think a simple would be direct substitution yeah yeah yeah but I I'm here to tell the Illuminati I'm ready to do whatever needs to be done,
whatever they ask.
Except take time and figure it out for yourself.
I tried.
I tried to figure it out.
And I was like, you know what?
I can't do it.
But you know what?
That means you don't give up, though.
But you went to the guy with the highest, the allegedly highest IQ at the table, and he couldn't figure it out either.
So whoever figured it out for you, get him.
Is he a member?
Well, is the some secret society?
I'm not doubting you why
the president surrounds himself with people that are knowledgeable about other things he can't be uh he can't be an expert on everything
right of course right so so you've chosen giddem to be your expert
you're surrounding yourself with giddem hey man i love you and you know what you know what he figured it out so who am i that but we both found a way to get it to to get it figured out to get it read and tell him steve did it get him figured it out he didn't figure it out.
Sure, he didn't.
He fucking went to some, he just fucking went to the house.
When he knew where to go.
He was fucking on the darknet.
After I told him he wasn't allowed to do that on the internet here.
Go on the anonymous darknet so it looks way more suspicious if somebody's
so you don't believe it.
I'm not saying I don't believe it.
I believe that Giddem was the one that got to the bottom of it.
So you think that after hearing this, well, you know what?
If the Illuminati contacts me,
I want them to see who the invitation was for.
And now he's not part of TSD.
I'm not.
He's not?
No.
Well, I don't think anyone has suggested
the letter was for him.
It was for me.
Well, it's a TSD.
He's woke.
Now he's part of the Illuminati.
He wants it all for himself.
I am not part of the Illuminati yet.
Right.
Hopefully,
after whoever's organized, whatever organization sent this.
The door has been unlocked.
Now it has to open and he has to walk through it.
Right, and I have.
I've walked through it now.
Now i have to see if i'm welcomed
and then i got this letter bri another another
this one was fucking addressed to me all right all we were saying was the other one wasn't
okay uh
dear
b walter von flanagan baron von flanagan okay yeah long trading international
uh we have been contracted by
contracted by a client to facilitate the shipping, handling, and documentation of several international packages being sent to your address.
Our company prides itself on the privacy we offer our customers, so we cannot divulge any information about the sender of these packages.
We assure you, however, that all customer packages are properly cleared before shipping and do not allow the transport of hazardous materials.
All right.
They're based in Canada, so you're going to be getting.
I was going to say, like, you're going to get anthrax or something.
Okay, now that letter
came with this.
That letter came with this letter that you're about to read to the listeners.
Okay.
I won't give the
lady's name at the end.
Boy.
If you want me to.
I don't care.
I am not a religious woman, but I feel I must unburden my soul that I have done no scientist would have pursued.
What I have.
What I have done, no scientist would have pursued.
I was blinded by political rhetoric and flattery in the free hand I was given to make history in my lab at
something seven Aralzic 7 hubris.
I am passing an awful weight onto you, even though I do not know you.
I feel as if you need to know the truth.
The subject was of your blood, even though I know you are very distant.
I doubt if you even know of him, but
you are the only kin he now has on this earth, and he deserves to have his story told.
Why do I think a prince from Nigeria is involved in this?
His name was redacted from the records I saw before they were all destroyed.
All I was able to find was you.
I am getting the final effects in order and trying to figure out a safe way to get all this out of my country to you.
As if like Canada's fucking the Ivory Coast.
Be patient.
I will tell you all.
I must.
I cannot die with this still weighing down my heart.
Yours truly, Dr.
Anna Zarkova.
This came with this?
Yeah.
So they've already shipped something to you.
And this was also in the envelope.
Okay.
It's a picture of an old postcard with what looks like, what would you say?
This is like some like Russian.
Some sort of Russian language stamped on the back and a picture of people people on what appears to be like a little
fairy or something.
Well, you got a hammer and sickle on the other side.
What I believe this is is
a relative of mine was experimented on,
and superhuman abilities
were transferred to a relative of mine, or something super, whether it's intelligence or and these people believe that since you see the bee in front of them, they believe you are a baron and your last name is Von Flanagan.
This is weird.
This is weird.
This is a weird picture.
Yeah, it's very weird.
What about the letter?
It looks old, too.
What about the type letter here?
Yeah, it's very bizarre.
With no.
I feel like that is.
No date.
I don't feel like this is an actual typewriter.
I think this is a font on a computer.
I don't know.
Some of the letters don't look even, though, right?
Yeah, but look at the back.
It's not a strike.
You know how type letters have the strikes through it?
This doesn't have that.
So that takes it away from me a little bit that they didn't use an actual typewriter.
Why would they have to use a typewriter in 2016?
But that means then they made a choice to use a typewriter font to make it look a certain way.
And if you care that much about it, I'd be more impressed if this was in Times New Roman.
Like they're going for an effect here.
If this is serious, why do they need to go for an effect?
So you're saying that, like, because there are certain programs you can use that'll make it look typewriter.
Yeah, you could just put typewriter font into Word.
Right.
But it's definitely not a typewriter.
His name was redacted from the records.
Somebody else, I don't know.
But look at the way that Z is so close to the H, though, right?
That does look a little off.
I believe that.
And the A is higher than the.
See?
Like how the capital A is higher than the.
We're going to have to.
Are we going to take pictures of all these documents and put them out there for the people?
You can take pictures of them if you want.
You can redact whatever you want before.
What I'd like to believe happened here
is that
I,
through this person who was experimented on, I was passed on to the other one.
Which you just made up in your head.
You know, my superhuman cousin.
You just made that up.
What are you talking about?
You just said that.
You said what I believe is that.
No, what I'd like to believe.
Oh, right, okay.
What I'd like to believe is what would make more sense to me and solve a lot of the questions that I have.
this relative, this blood relative of mine,
was experimented on,
gained either extraordinary
mental prowess or physical prowess, and now that
courses through my blood, too.
But what is a guy who doesn't have a tendon in his leg and can't figure out the simplest fucking code to get into the Illuminati?
What a text for the list.
Scoff if you will.
You're saying you've got physical prowess?
No, no, no.
I'm saying, well, it may.
You're almost as broken down as me.
It may manifest itself when I need it the most.
Okay.
You know, it may not pop out until the good thing is we're going to have learning these things now.
We're going to have an answer soon.
Why?
Because she's getting all of his stuff in order and getting it to you because she wants you to tell me.
It's been a while since that came.
I've had to have had that for at least a couple weeks.
Since November 8th, 2016.
So there hasn't been any follow-up to that.
But why why the two letters, though?
Did they come in the same envelope or no?
Yeah.
Same envelope.
Well,
this was in an envelope,
and then
another envelope was inside that envelope.
Why bother to send two letters like that?
Did you Google Wong Trading International?
I am not going to talk about that.
Okay.
I'm sure you did it on the dark net if you did it at all.
So come on now.
Now.
I'm saying
what I brought to the table, those are my two things for the overkill tonight.
Right.
Two things that I think
really put a fucking exclamation point on everything that like what's been leading up to now.
Yeah.
Illuminati is real.
Yes.
Illuminati is interested in me.
And I have, and I have relatives that have superhuman abilities.
or had because they're yeah they're saying he's gone but I feel like this one I just I could
actually
that's right you have daughters
yeah Bon Flanagan Bonnie I had two daughters there's no chance that I would when the blood when I die the bloodline dies with me well the name dies the bloodline doesn't die that's right yeah the name will die with me
unless the Baron is immortal And this could be all about what this is all about.
I feel like, really, all I got to do is sit back on this one and wait
because I think you're going to be getting a packet full of information.
What I want, get him what I've asked you, why I've asked you also to be here tonight.
Listen, I bring in an actual skull and he mocks it, but some asshole mails in a letter from nowhere and he's like, fucking suddenly a superhuman power.
Like, how is this right?
Like,
what the fuck, man?
Where's the justice?
justice?
Where's the fucking justice?
So far, out of the stories you've heard tonight, Guinem, which do you believe most likely?
But what do you not believe about my story?
No,
don't try to sway.
I'm asking you, Walter, what do you not believe about my story?
What part don't you believe?
I don't know if it's not I don't believe, but I'm just I'm a little worried that it's not a real skull.
I'm a little worried that I was a little worried that it wasn't real copper, but the smell has convinced me it's copper.
I'm a little worried that
you may be lying
because I don't believe that a fucking antique store was opened up on the screen.
I don't believe that it was that.
Oh, I'll show you the receipt.
The receipt that you brought up today?
Well, yes, today was Black Friday.
We know it was on.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Look at this modern receipt pulling out.
Yes, it's not even encrypted.
It wasn't written in blood.
Oh,
this is the written receipt.
It's not encrypted.
You'd expect it to be the old-timey typewriter.
It's not the right receiver.
It's not the right receipt.
Oh.
Well, well.
I don't know.
I mean, I don't want to.
Well, get them.
Which of the stories you've heard tonight, and bear in mind, we've still got Brian's to hear.
So far, which one is the most intriguing and the most likely to be true?
Well,
my skepticism aside, I think that I'm thinking that these
people saw this yokel that they thought they could dupe and sold him a story about
his grandfather dying.
I'm going to sell the skull to the first person who walks up.
But he wasn't for sale.
I went back the next day.
You know how many times we have people asking us if stuff we tell them is not for sale is actually for sale?
You know what?
When I get an illuminati, I'm going to look out for you.
Thank you.
I'm going to make sure that you're taken care of.
In a good way or a bad way.
No, no, in a good way.
Like, you know, like, you're going to have to go out and shoot.
You know what?
I want you to take.
When I get in, I'll go make sure that things start to go your way a little bit more.
I've talked about you for five or six years.
I could have
done it pre-Illuminati.
I have.
I started.
I gave him a job.
It's true.
Yeah, I mean, how much do you want this guy doing?
Like, he has to go and join the fucking Illuminati now just to fucking
hurt you.
I'm going to say this.
I don't want the $5.
You take it back.
Take it back?
But it won't work then.
We don't know how it works.
But you don't know if that's going to fuck up.
Well, if you're a kid.
I don't give a shit whether it fucks him up.
He just called me a yokel.
I hope it fucks him up.
I hope this is a fucking...
What is that?
The Prussian kissing fucking dollar.
Yeah, you're fucking yourself up, though.
No, I'm not fucking me up.
I'm his caretaker.
The skull wanted the money.
None of that.
That's all it left.
I'm the skull's fucking caretaker, man.
So now I, on behalf of the skull, which you were insulting, refuse you a gift, and now you have to pay the price.
Jed Clampett wouldn't have fucking given that five dollars back and what happened to ched clampett yeah he lived a long fucking health nobody even gave a shit enough to fucking barnaby jones he didn't have i'm sure he he take the five dollars back and now whatever happens to you is on you okay
if you report back a negative oh boy you're gonna be so you've insulted the skull
well and can we can we at least get it without getting into the dirty details what it is it doesn't matter i don't give a shit the money's back the skull has rejected it i I hope it all goes south.
Keep laughing.
Keep laughing.
I'm watching this.
Because he thought mine was more believable than yours.
Yeah.
That's fucking being a fucking.
No, he specifically said.
That's just being a
skull.
No, you're saying you don't believe in it at all.
I believe in the colours.
He believes it's a skull.
You believe it may be a real skull, though?
Yes.
Okay, so that's not good enough for you.
Nobody has to fucking believe in your fucking voodoo.
Well, he did insult him.
He's like, he's like a mark.
He's golden.
He's like, yo, here comes a dupe.
Is that shock I see on your shoulder?
Let me explain something to you, buddy.
Don't worry about it.
You're right.
I'm a yokel.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
We don't want your money.
You are the skull.
You are banned from the favors of the fucking Prussian kissing devil skull.
You're done.
And I hope you suffer the fucking consequences.
I will make sure,
if I get in, that there will be no consequences.
And that, like, whatever.
You really think that a fucking some piece of fucking ivory is more powerful than the Illuminati?
Fucking people who shape the world?
Keep going.
Are those ivory, is that ivory shaped into teeth?
Because yes, it would be more important to him.
All right, well, all right.
So, well, we got stuff right.
He still has to go, so maybe he might win tonight.
If Giddam gets fucking hit by a car or something like that, then we'll know.
Why?
Why would all of a sudden now it's the Hope Diamond?
Yeah, we don't know.
What are you talking about?
Now you're just now really going against the fucking green.
I am telling you.
You had it rest for fucking six hours, and now you're turning it into something that it never was.
But now it could cause people to die.
It's like the monkey's paw.
You don't deserve that fucking skull.
The fucking, I do deserve it.
I fucking paid for it.
You deserve it.
Now you're you're abusing it.
Now you're trying to get it.
I'm not abusing it.
I'm caretaking.
I'm not going to let it take money.
I'm not going to let the skull take fucking money to be mocked.
It's not going to happen.
You guys don't have to get skull.
I don't fucking live with it.
Jeez, he's looking at it too.
I'm telling you, I was calling you the goddamn thing.
The fucking thing not only called me, not only called me, it solved my problem, and I am not saying it killed its owner to come to my possession, but it did happen.
And now I'm not going to sit here and let fucking Giddup Steve Dave mock it.
Take your money back, and you live with the consequences.
So you're not worried that it could kill you to find its new owner?
If it does, it does.
What am I going to do?
I'll bet you if Walt came in with that skull right now, he'd be like, he would not be able to.
He'd be like, that skull have a dick I can suck.
He'd be like, is there a bony dick I could suck in my throat?
Oh, look how fucking bitchy he is.
I'm not bitchy.
Daddy is a bitch, right there.
Daddy's being a bitchy.
Daddy's being so bitchy.
I'm not being a bitch.
I fucking experienced something.
Something happens.
My friends are calling me lies.
I have a fucking premise today.
Hey, man, I believe Jimmy.
Shit about.
I saw that shit earlier before we started.
Like, you're on the phone, fucking Googling shit.
You're like, okay, I got it all figured out.
And, like, what did that have to do with that skull?
Nothing.
What did that have to do with that skull?
Really, though.
Nothing.
You know what I'm saying?
You were showing Brian, like, okay, I got it.
And then you're like, and then you're going to do it.
This seals the deal.
Oh, this seals the deal.
What did that have to do with this?
And I didn't have to do it.
What has to do with tonight?
And you're like, Yeah, yeah, but not this.
No, it had to do with where it was being placed.
Well, I don't want to give them any information.
Forget about it.
Why would that skull need modern-day technology?
Because I was looking up.
Is it Bluetooth compatible?
Honestly,
I'll tell you.
What I was looking up was to see if I can get it across if it's legal to have a New York skull.
You know what?
After you left that fucking
guy today, they just put up another fucking person
skull right after you left.
Open the door.
Not for sale.
Open the door, and there's the old guy in the back tapping away, a new one.
You should have brought yourself a magic eight ball to fucking save yourself
$630.
He's going to hold on to his magic beans for the next overkill.
He's like, fuck it.
Don't show money.
I'll keep this people holding myself over.
Tomorrow I'm going to climb that fucking stalk and get myself some golden eggs.
Yeah, I'm going to piss on you from the clowns, I say.
That ain't free, bitches.
I hope it hit you in the head.
All right.
Get him, you're gonna regret it, though.
Oh, he fucking is gonna regret it.
If, if, if, uh, whatever it is you're expecting, if my life becomes worse, it goes against you, yeah.
He's got fucking boils.
Yeah.
It's girl, I'll talk to him now.
That's true.
His fucking truck just fucking blew out.
There's nothing more that could go wrong for him.
That's what you think.
And now the Illuminati is looking out for him.
But he could have been riding off your five five bucks, and
they turned that down.
All right.
All right, Brian.
What's your story?
Mine was about
the Titanic.
The Titanic Olympic connection.
If you have an issue that you can
try this out, the skull, because I'm not going to get him the chance anymore.
Oh, my God.
It'll take his $5, but I won't.
I will take his $5.
You'll not get it.
You should have a couple things.
The problem is narrowing it down.
But can you ask it something that can be solved within seven days, hopefully?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I think so.
Will you tell us what it is?
Or is that break the fucking rules, QS?
I don't know the rules.
You're the caretaker now.
You make the rules.
I would think that you can't.
Goose and goose.
Who knows?
Fourth and loose.
Let me hear that.
Fourth and down.
No problem coming up with a title this morning.
Here we go.
I'm going to put the skull.
I want to hear the JSRG's creepy kids like poor thing down.
Here we go.
All right.
The fucking skull is back on the table.
You're going to spin it?
All right, Broad.
The anvil.
Okay, so
this would have to write itself by next Friday then.
Oh, hopefully.
I mean, there's no.
I mean, like you said, we don't know if it's.
Take it serious.
Do me a favor.
Because I'm telling you, like, I experienced something with this.
All right.
Closing your eyes, that's definitely a sign of taking it seriously.
I'm kicking about it.
Look how he's cupping the skull.
He's trying to hide the fucking maiden Taiwan sign.
All right.
Put the $5 on the pedestal.
It's there.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
We'll see.
Within one week, I'll tell you next week.
What it was.
Be completely honest.
I'll write it down and I'll seal it in an on-prem.
Persian.
Oh, yeah.
Prussian.
Prussian.
We'll have a Prussian skull update next week.
Yes.
All right.
For anybody who's.
And thank you, if it works out, if it does work out,
we should open up the PayPal.
Me?
We can open the PayPal.
Listen to me.
No.
We open up the PayPal and we take $5 a pop.
This isn't money-making.
And by the way, I think they would have to mail $5 in.
I don't think it works.
No, no, if you put a phone underneath it, that gets the email about the fucking payment.
I don't want to fucking figure out a way to make money off this thing.
I think I got something on my hands.
Okay.
That's a first.
that's a first that's a fucking serious thing about this i'll tell you what though i don't think paypal would work i think they'd have to mail five dollars in all right but to make sure maybe they better mail in ten
and address it to me
no tsd
i'll make sure your shit gets fucking worked on
two to three weeks for delivery all the time isn't that like day of the dead that's that's what that whole thing is about right
like offering up shit and
praying to the spirits, or is Day of the Dead for like taking care of relatives?
I don't know.
I don't have no clue.
All right, Brian.
So the Titanic.
The question is: did the Titanic actually sink?
Or was it part of an insurance scam?
Oh, it was sunk on purpose.
Yes.
You're not saying it didn't sink, that it was sailed to another part of the world.
This is an interesting one.
I know this one.
That's why you're here, Guido.
Right.
So long.
So it takes off.
Oh, is that saying that he's not going to be on this earth much longer?
Or do you mean he's not allowed to appear on TSD no more?
No, no.
He could always appear.
As long as he's alive, he could appear on TSD.
Well, I wish that within seven days Giddem would meet his fate.
That's fucked up.
That's what I asked the skull.
Titanic was one of three Olympic-class ocean liners built.
The Olympic was launched a year before the Titanic, but it shared its more famous sister ship's poor luck.
Within months of its launch in 1911, it had two serious collisions,
and some have suggested that the damage to the Olympic was more serious than they admitted, and it was a write-off.
Repairs would be ruiningly expensive, running into the millions of pounds.
And they're saying that
White Star, you know, the Ocean Liner Company, and J.P.
Morgan devised an insurance scam to try and salvage their investment, which would mean the Olympic, the theory goes, would be swapped with the Titanic and sunk in a staged accident.
The Titanic, now disguised as the Olympic, would then carry on in service.
So the Titanic actually never sunk.
It was a ship that was damaged twice in
unrelated.
Hold on, let me give a shit.
The two ships were essentially identical, save for minor differences.
They were moored side by side in dry dock.
The swap would entail nothing more elaborate than swapping a few nameplates and plaques.
And this is evidence for portholes.
Proponents of the swap theory pointed out disparities in the number of of portholes on the ships.
The Olympic had 16, the Titanic had 14.
So they're saying where do the portholes change or just aesthetic changes?
Wait.
They're saying for a fact in pictures of what's supposed to be the Titanic is not the correct amount of portholes?
Right.
They're saying
photographs taken of the Titanic in dry docks showed it had 14 portholes, but at the time of its doomed may end voyage, it now had 16, just like the Olympic.
So was this evidence that the ships had been swapped or they had just added two extra portholes as part of an aesthetic change to the Titanic?
Other evidence supports a switch.
The windows on the Olympic were somewhat unevenly spaced, but more evenly spaced on the Titanic.
The damage to the Olympic after its collision with the Hawk, which was a military ship, lent it to a noticeable
lent it a noticeable and permanent two-degree list to port.
The undamaged Titanic had no such list.
However, one second-class passenger who survived
the sinking, sorry,
reported that the Titanic did, in fact, list to port.
Would you be able to tell that, get him a two-degree list?
I could.
He could.
I know he could.
Let's say he was fucking, he was doing the fucking Kate Winslet at the bow of the fucking Titanic.
He's lying naked on the side with a fucking
pendant on.
Well, paint me like you're a French girl.
Got up from college.
Look how bad he is.
You're like reveling now, trying to fucking dismantle him.
That was so hard.
But, my brief, do you believe that this is possible?
Look, man, I don't trust governments at all ever.
And super rich people at all.
The government's not involved in this.
I'm saying I don't trust the governments, and I don't trust super rich people who, I think, hold sway over governments.
There was a nationwide coal strike during the launch of the Titanic.
I was just toning your voice.
This had led to.
Well, that's true.
You do run the country, don't you?
And you are super rich.
You did stay at the Wildlife Safari Park in Florida.
This led to thousands of firemen, boilers, stokers, and greasers short of work.
Yet, despite this, the Titanic struggled to find crew, with many men refusing to work on the ship at any price.
So, wait, you're saying they were on strike and they couldn't find people to work?
Yeah, they're saying that even though they're saying that they were short of work because of the coal strike, but these guys wouldn't work on it anyway.
Yeah, well, scabs usually aren't treated that well.
Scabs.
Yes, people go against a strike.
I know.
Fuck, remember the NFL?
Remember the fucking strike?
Remember they brought the scab players in?
Yeah.
Yeah, fourth down.
Fuck.
Fourth and down, bitch.
You don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
What year was that?
I thought that was a movie The Replacements.
Maybe I'm getting a little confused.
Movie.
Was that the year that Sandra?
Was that a piano reason?
Sandra Balak played on the team.
You remember the year that the NFL actually brought in fucking street players in?
I remember, I don't remember the exact year, but I do remember it happening.
87.
Was it?
For four games, like, you could have thought that.
That's awesome.
How were those games?
Those games were some of the worst football ever
played.
But for four games, there was a whole bunch of players who
living a dream.
I can't believe.
I am fucking wearing the Dallas Cowboys hat.
They're officially in the roster for all time.
Now, all kidding aside,
you should look into optioning the story of this.
I guess you'd have to fucking own it.
I can't believe they own it.
Yeah.
I can't believe they haven't made it.
This story is unbelievable.
It's almost like that, what's that, that Invincible movie with that one?
So does that mean that they, whatever team won the World Series, they would have gotten rings?
The World Series.
The World Series rings?
Super Bowl rings.
Right, the Super Bowl rings.
No, well, what happened was the NFL played, I think it was two games with the regular players, and then the NFL players thought
they'd have more leverage
if they went out on strike during the season rather than the offseason.
They're like, well, they'll have to definitely meet our demands because they're not going to.
But the NFL was like, if you strike, we're going to bring in scab replacements.
And the players didn't believe it.
And sure enough, they brought in scab replacements two weeks.
They had to find every team, all 28 teams or 30, whatever it was back then, had to find complete rosters from just fucking guys
who were fucking selling hot dogs two weeks earlier, were now fucking out on NFL fields wearing NFL uniforms, playing football on fucking network TV, Monday Night Football.
They go off.
That's crazy.
So they didn't even get like...
like college players who were good?
Yes, I'm sure there was a lot of college players.
The vendors were there.
Put that talk down, you feel me?
Put that pigskin down.
Pick up this pigskin.
No, I'm assuming that 99% of the players were players who got cut
in the last couple years who had played college ball.
But there was plenty of players that had just played high school ball.
Right.
It's an amazing story.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Not great for the ratings back then, and a lot of people would not consider it a great moment.
I mean, I think a lot of people would say it was one of the darkest moments.
Right.
So putting a product on the field that was so inferior.
So, not modern day, where like every time you turn around, some NFL guy's kicking the shit out of his wife or girlfriend.
It was when hot dog vendors were playing.
Like, if we if we could have made it a week and we enlisted somebody else to do Telm Steve, like like Mike and Ming with the scats.
I was just putting a lot of fucking tea.
Mike Ming, Rob Bruce, some waitress from Serb Taco.
All right, back to the Titanic.
Okay, so
rumors were circulating amongst the workers that the ships had been swapped as part of an insurance scam and it was going to be sunk, and they think they didn't want to have any part of that.
You know,
they knew people might die in this sinking.
Last-minute cancellations, J.P.
Morgan, who owned the White Star Parents Company, was due to travel, but canceled his trip.
Industrialists.
Now, J.P.
Morgan, I was not recall,
was a female.
No, you're not on the Gong Show.
J.P.
Morgan, one of the richest guys who ever lived, the banker, financier.
Is that his wife, though?
No.
His widow or something?
No, I don't think so.
The Titanic sunk in the fucking early 1900s.
The Gong Show was in the 70s.
She was old.
She was, yeah, she wasn't that old, but she was a Titanic survivor.
Yeah, but she would have, but he would have married a lot younger.
He's the richest man in the world back then.
Die.
Again, on Nicole.
No.
I'll check and see if J.P.
Morgan of the Ghana Show is any relation.
I bet you she may be.
I'm going to go to the middle of the morning.
It would be awesome if she was a mission.
Okay, well, she spells her name differently: J-A-Y-E-P.
Morgan.
She was born in 1931.
Let's see.
I'm not seeing anything.
She was a singer.
She had her own show.
She probably hit the P.
Morgan show.
Yeah, they probably buried it.
It's all redacted.
Wait, what's the CIA files?
1931.
1931, she was born.
And the Titanic second 1912, 1911?
Yeah, somewhere around there.
So she was.
So she wouldn't have been born for another 20 years.
All right.
Well, you're saying that maybe
she was.
Oh, she got.
Wait a second, Walt.
Wait a second.
Hold on a second.
She was born Mary Margaret Morgan.
She got the nickname J.P.
Morgan after the banker
J.
Piermont Morgan because she was the class treasurer at her high school.
So there's a connection.
There's a connection.
They're not directly related.
I knew there would be, and I was right.
Yeah.
All right, we can continue.
Okay.
So
the other J.P.
Morgan, the lesser-known
financier.
He'll love this episode.
You know how, like, sometimes you just know, people are going going to love this one.
He was seen perfectly well with his mistress in France the day the Titanic sunk.
Industrialist Henry Clay Frick, his wife, and his wife, banker Horace J.
Harding, and billionaire George Washington Vanderbilt, all connected to Morgan, canceled at the last minute.
He warned them.
Yeah,
he gave them the heads up, man.
All right.
So are you so again,
if you had to put money on this bra are you are you going to come out now as a
more than five years
about the titanic
um
i'm going to titanic
the lack of media scrutiny the total lack of like interest yeah no one cares i'm like
this is fucking crazy why won't people listen
It says insurance scams and maritime fraud were common at the time of the Titanic sinking because the lack of media scrutiny.
You know how, like, you know how to go, like, it would be career suicide to be like a 9-11 truther.
Like, you definitely would, definitely would cause you to
possibly be considered to be removed from Comic Bookman if you were to go like
the Titanic.
You're kind of safe on the
crap pod on one page.
You're like, just let them keep talking about it, yeah.
That's all here.
Here's a facts.
You've got to lay some holes
on the chalkboard.
Two little fucking facts.
The yarns.
You have to repeat.
They were at all like that.
There, it's there, the connections.
But, Cole Hardy, you're only too blind to see.
You got to lay it down on
conspiracy or no conspiracy.
What do you lay it down on?
I'm going to go with no conspiracy, and I'll tell you why.
I'm glad that you brought it for Overkill.
Something you don't believe in yourself.
You never know.
Oh, God.
But I'm going to go with no conspiracy because, like, when they went to that Titanic exhibit, and you see all this shit, and like all those plates with the Titanic stuff on it, like, they would have had to move everything, absolutely everything, out of that one ship.
And I believe James Cameron
would never have made the movie if he had any inkling that it was a fake.
Well, also, like, all that shit he did afterwards.
Right.
Didn't he do JFK too?
Like, he would have loved to have a conspiracy.
So that was Oliver Stone.
Yeah.
James Cameron.
I think they're the same person.
I've been told.
Right.
You got a phone call in the middle of the night.
It's like Alex Jones and Bill Burr.
Well, get him.
I want to say, get him for last.
Yeah.
Oh, get him as one, too.
I get it.
No, no, no, no.
I want to hear his way in, though.
Oh.
On this one.
I could see it.
So, again, cold hard cash.
You lay on one side.
Well, if I have to lay cash down, I'll probably say no conspiracy because I think that's probably more likely, but I do think it's possible that
it's a conspiracy.
If we had asked you this last week, pre.
No,
I would have said no well.
No way.
Prussian.
The skull of the Prussian kissing devil.
I didn't say anything to Russia.
I said pre-kissing skull, I said.
I just left out the words.
Kissing devil.
Prussian and devil.
My worldview has definitely changed a little bit in the past 24 hours.
He's not being reductionist.
Worldview.
Worldview.
Now it's worldly.
No,
how I view the world has changed.
All right, get him.
Now you've heard three stories tonight.
three things brought to light that were once clouded and murky and uh
some one of which has never been heard anywhere on the face of the earth probably other than a little shithole in fucking pennsylvania that barn yeah or in prussia in a village in prussia and then do we have many prussians on earth greatest shitholes on earth pennsylvania
yeah
after after getaway getaway is in, we got to talk about the ongoing theft of material from this show.
It's fucking insane.
Go ahead.
Let's hear the weigh-in on
I'm a little versed on the Titanic Olympic Cup.
Don't be modest.
You're fucking versed on everything, and it's never little.
There's nothing you do that's little, bitch.
Because I have a friend who is a proponent of that conspiracy theory.
You go big because you don't want to go home.
It's too cluttered with fucking carcasses.
He goes big because he has no idea of basic calorie intake.
That's fucking shit.
So I don't believe, I personally don't believe Bryce's theory holds any water whatsoever because it would have easily been disproven by you can just say they just swapped nameplates, but there was constructional differences between the two ships.
And it's easy to believe that back then they may have misidentified a photo.
And that's what people are using as identification.
Or in the subsequent years, he got mislabeled.
What about all these super rich people canceling at the last minute?
Well, you got, look at 9-11.
You have a bunch of people who missed their flights, who canceled their flights.
It's a coincidence.
If they were all going for the same party and one guy canceled, well, why are the rest of you all going to go?
J.P.
Morgan saying he's sick, and then he's seen with his mistress cavorting about.
How many days later?
He might be like, I'm going to say I'm sick so I can cavort with my mistress.
Yeah.
And you don't think you'd be.
You don't think you'd be happy with your mistress?
What's that?
You don't think you'd be happy with your mistress if you were cavorting around with her?
Yeah, more likely you're going to be happy.
Yeah.
Right.
You're in France.
Yeah.
And I'm with my mistress.
Yes.
And I'm cavorting.
You know,
after these three revelations,
which one do you think?
Just on proof alone and facts, I would have to say that I'm more prone to the...
I mean, look, I mean, look at that.
What proof?
What proof?
Look at it around the world.
Some fucking.
Look at
that.
Some Texas.
Mails in a fucking
Dallas, Texas, where JFK was murdered.
What the fuck does it have to do with anything?
It's a letter.
He did bring that up when I showed it to him.
That's the first thing he did.
I told him not to mention
him.
I said, don't talk about it.
It also says October 1st.
You guys have been sitting on this?
It took us a while to figure it out.
Or to not figure it out, as the case is.
Or to not figure it out.
What are we talking about?
We fucking got it figured out.
Why are you trying to make it sound like we didn't figure it out?
Just because we had to go outside of our expertise,
I think that's more
given that much time, Giddam wasn't able to break that code.
I'm surprised.
Why?
He's always boasting about this high IQ.
So, what?
Who cares what he says?
I like language.
I'm not evidence pointing to the Gods.
Yeah, proof and fact, just like the Titanic.
Languages have always been
to Notes.
Every single other fucking fact pointing to not.
So, this letter addressed to me
on October 1st.
He thinks if he says it enough times, it'll be true.
Is the one you most is the most likely?
I think it has more provenance than the
fucking
clock sheep over here.
Fucking bats you with every play.
And I'm supposed to be surprised by this.
Jesus Christ.
Well, look.
You're sucking at your teeth right now.
Is he getting overtime for this shit?
No.
The door is locked.
And I'm clocked out.
All right, real quick, you want to talk about people stealing?
I've heard on many occasions
that One True 3
has been stolen by a few prominent shows.
Jimmy Fallon,
The Today Show, or something.
Somebody told me on Twitter.
But something so close to home.
Shitholes was stolen.
Shitholes was stolen by Tosh.
They even called shitholes, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, they did it in America, though.
I think they said shithole towns.
He probably didn't.
They didn't have the fucking courage to go outside of America.
Because that's the fucking everybody wants to, if everybody wants to bash America, but if you had fucking the balls to bash India like we did, right?
I mean, the only safe place to bash is New Zealand.
Right, yeah, right, from that commercial, yeah.
Or Sweden.
Wait, Sweden was part of Prussia?
Yeah, I'm not mocking that place.
Throw some balls, Tosh.
But so close to home.
Right.
But yeah, but again, though, and then what was it?
That was just another instance.
And then recently True TV show.
True TV show.
Stealing fuel.
Billy Eichner on the street.
Uh-oh.
Did something with Seth Rogen.
Are you aware of this?
No.
Billy Eichner went out on the street with Seth Rogan.
Right.
And Seth Rogen had a big camera covering his face like he was recording.
And Billy Eichner goes up to people and says, hey, did you hear Seth Rogan?
And then gets their response.
Their initial response, their cold response.
There's only one thing to do.
That's to get Timmy back in here and fucking make him answer to this.
Well, I don't believe, I am never going to go out
on this kind of limb and say that he had anything to do with it.
But I want him to come back in here and kind of apologize because he fucking really took a tone that was very dismissive.
You're right.
Condescending.
Condescending and kind of laughed in my face.
And then this fucking network that he fucking bows to is fucking
running shit that he fucking scoffed at.
Well, I'm sure Simmy would love to come back in and answer to this.
Under those fucking guidelines.
Because I really was.
I believed in coincidences.
Totally believed in coincidence.
Well, in reality, it was probably shot
way before.
But I don't appreciate the high horse mockery of mocking it and being like, and really being like, you're an idiot.
And then it's showing up on the network.
Now you've got to tell him that you know what funny is.
He's going to have to be a good one.
Now you're show it at him on the phone.
Yeah, you're right.
You've had to battle to keep
the map behind you, right?
You lost that map.
How about Billy on the street next season?
He's going to have a fucking map behind him.
So let's see.
Let's see.
Is he on that Eichner show?
He doesn't work in that show, does he?
To me, I don't think so, no.
Right.
Okay, he says,
okay, somebody said, this is four days ago.
Um, I would call him now, but it's Friday.
He's got that Jewish thing when what's the lights?
I thought that was Saturday.
No, it starts at sundown on Friday.
He can't go out on Black Friday then, huh?
You can go there and how horrible that must be for it
Friday night, sundown on Saturday night.
Um, I guess somebody said something about it
to Simmy, yeah.
And he said, oh.
Walton tell him, Steve Dave, an example of funerals on Billy on the street.
And then she added Simmy K.
This is a tank ant
brought the hard-hitting questions: What the fuck?
And Billy Eichner, he tweeted, I hit the street with Seth Rogan in disguise.
He really wasn't disguised, though.
Told people Seth had just died and got their reactions.
This is Death Rogan.
Simmy said, big difference between one segment and entire series premise.
But still, maybe the idea has legs.
And he did spell legs with a Zig, which I thought was pretty good.
Like, big difference, a-hole.
Oh, that's Simmy.
You think that's the unspoken or the untweeted right there?
Is like, hey, asshole.
Well, you know what, though?
I think
I saw this online.
I thought it was pretty, I liked it.
TSD makes the world takes.
I wanted that tattooed on some ant.
Okay.
Get that tattooed, please.
And what do they get out of it?
How about a four-colored demons, a medium jersey with someone else's name on it?
Big chambers on it.
Well, like Hamberson.
I tried to get the C off and it didn't work.
But the first person that,
yeah, it's called, I forget what that's called, but they could put the
little patch.
What I'm going to have.
Actually, I'm going to see if I can get one made that says TSD.
But the first person that gets that tattooed somewhere on their body, TSD makes, the world takes, is going to get this jersey.
And also, what I hope maybe Simmy will do.
Yeah.
That would be a nice
apology.
Not an apology, but like, you know, like an olive branch for this.
Get us some cash to do a pilot of Are You Worse Than Hitler?
Okay.
Right?
Are you going to do a sizzle reel?
Sizzle reel
for Are You Worse Than Hitler?
Just to show that we could fucking pull him up.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, you.
We're the producers.
Well, can we say our product?
Exec producers.
Exec producers.
And
meet you and Bry and we get.
I don't think Are are you worse than Hitler is going to sell on on television.
I would say one true three's got a better shot.
But I would but are you worse
now we're going up against the
title, but we'll work on the meme, but the concept, though, of are you worse than Hitler?
Are you worse than Jared?
Are you worse than Osama bin Laden?
Are you worse than the dude with the
Malponzi scheme?
The name would be Are You Worse than dot, dot, dot.
No, who's the
Nadoff?
Are you worse than Nadoff?
And then finally, are you worse than Hitler?
Recall it, are you the worst person?
Worst person on Earth.
That's it.
I hope he gives it worst person on Earth.
You just got to give us what?
How much does it cost to do a sizzle reel?
I don't know.
First for something like that?
Yeah, you could probably do it for 10.
TV?
That's why I want to know what it is.
Because you're just.
I don't know.
It might take away build sets and some of that.
No, there's no sets.
We just need the cameraman.
And the sound, and
we'll do everything else.
All right.
I probably don't even need 10 grand then.
With the sizzle reel, we shot it.
We'd get a couple bucks out of it.
We might get something out of it.
I may.
Is it fucking True TV stealing all our shit?
CBS is stealing all our shit.
Get him, you want to read this?
Sure, because my eyes are going.
He's more of a madness.
You should have two of them that you can drop down.
All right, we're talking about Butterwinks today, aren't we?
Yep.
Okay.
Butterwinks down in Florida, right?
I believe so.
It doesn't say here, but let's say Florida.
Okay.
Butterwinks.com, it specializes in personalized cookie gift boxes and frame cookie art pieces.
Perfectly unique gifts for the hard-to-shop for person in life.
Each box is created around any theme or themes that you choose and includes a framable illustration so they don't have to feel bad about eating their cookies and still have the ability to cherish the memories of the delicious gift so they can eat their cake and have it too, as it were.
Did Butterwinks request someone who can barely speak without like
you can have your cookies and terror
I take over to attack
people
let's see
where did you end it okay
artists and writers trying to grab the attention of Petzer Bise and artist Sally
stand apart from the rest and bring your characters to life with a framed piece of cookie art that is sure to attract loads of people to your table.
A great staple for the walls of your studio.
Have your characters immortalized in a medium that everyone will have to see to believe.
Have you ever seen the cookies that this person does?
They're amazing.
Yeah, you have.
The wedding ones?
Okay, yeah, those are great.
I'm looking at them right now.
They're great.
They're amazing.
They're perfect.
They don't look like cookies.
They look like art.
But they're adding.
Well, you know what?
That should be the tagline.
Yeah.
They don't look like cookies.
They look like art.
They look like art.
You can have that one for free.
Well, maybe throw some cookies that way
hey give it away for free man you that skull has changed you dude you think i'm around i'm not every i'm telling you this skull has changed everything
anything you have that much passion for that you're like i want to make this and sell it like i want to yeah yeah come sell them see dave uh christmas special oh nice available on uh tsdxmus.com that's true reviews are in want to hear some of those yes we do holy shit dyslexia is literally the worst thing they've ever done please Please kill this abortion.
Jesus Christ.
Brian Quinn.
This game kills the entire momentum of the show.
You know what?
I've come up with an dyslexia, to be all in all honesty, was an attempt to drive me insane.
No, it was, I'll be honest with everybody.
Maybe he means it enlivens the pace of the show.
You think he's playing dyslexia with it?
I think so, yeah.
No, I believe he's being honest that he didn't like it.
But I'll be, let's be, I'm going to pull the curtain back a little bit.
Dyslexia was my attempt after
I got a lot of shit about maps and dinosaurs.
And I'll be honest, I received a lot of emails about you guys too being stupid.
Not going to, not since I'll put myself in the middle of the middle.
Don't sugarcoat it like Butterwigs would.
A lot of emails while I was away about how dumb you guys are.
From what?
I don't know.
I guess the episode you guys did.
But anyway, but my.
I
only came to me.
It doesn't foreign these sick things.
Well, it's a fucking episode where we say we don't know what we're talking about, I guess.
But dyslexia was my attempt to kind of show off our intelligence.
Okay.
And to show how
we could think, again, you know, I don't want to get into it unilaterally, laterally, yada, yada, yada.
It didn't do what I hoped it would do.
It didn't make us look good.
It didn't make us look smart.
It didn't make us look intelligent.
It didn't make us look any way, I guess, but confusing.
It didn't strengthen our case.
So I've come up with another new GameCube that I'm glad I've remembered this.
Okay.
Copyright TESD Simi.
Yes, right now.
Let's fucking make sure that everybody's aware that this is ours.
But
it's called Impressing the Professor.
Okay.
Are you able to do TSD next week?
Yeah, ability.
Do you have a day that you could give me
a firm night?
Yeah.
Okay.
Off-camera or off-mic, we'll do that.
But
I'm going to give you three, you guys.
I know you say you don't want to get them on the show anymore, but can you come back?
What?
What?
A one-time pass?
Can you get the pass for next week?
I don't know, dude.
So listen to this concept first, but I need them.
I'm going to give you guys three subjects.
I can give you the subjects tonight, so you have a week to prepare, or I can give them to you cold.
And I'm going then, and these concepts are going to be, I'm going to give you a time period,
an exact point in time.
And then I'm going to inject
something that didn't belong in that time.
Oh, all right.
And then you guys are going to have to then pontificate.
Okay.
Is that the right way?
I think so, yeah.
And proper use.
Yeah.
To a professor that will be at the table
your theories on how that moment in time would have changed, and the knock-on effect about how you believe
today would be different.
Why does Gidam have to be here for this?
Because I have three topics,
three moments in time,
and I would like, I think, three.
And plus, he's the fucking smartest guy at the table.
I never get emails about him being stupid.
No?
No.
Did you block my email
on your fucking account?
No, he gave me his password.
But what do you think?
Yeah, I'm in.
Okay, so I have a real-life professor who is going to come in and sit at the table.
I've already got this squared away.
You'll be super psyched when you find out who it is.
He has doctorates, he has degrees.
Is this someone we've seen before?
Is this someone new?
It's someone we've seen before.
Oh, God.
And he will, and then he will.
Nobody we've had on this show strikes me
as professor material.
What do you think?
I could either call it impressing the pref, Prof.
Prof.
Impressing the Prof.
Or we call it Twisted TSD Timelines.
I think Impressing the Prof is more marketable.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, I think.
Do you guys want to do this next week?
Yes.
Okay.
Do you want your subject matter?
Do you want a week to work on it or would you rather just have it and then try to do it?
I'd rather just have it
at the table.
Wow, that's winging it because it's dangerous.
It is dangerous, but like you can't.
I mean, it's one of the reasons.
But I'd fucking take advantage of a week to fucking do some work.
But I don't think you're going to be able to do it.
You can come up with a thesis.
Do you want yours now?
Get them, or do Brian, do you want yours now?
Or do you all want to fly by the seat of your pants?
I'll fly.
Now, you fucking flew by the seat of your pants or get them on your shelf.
Oh,
you're fucked up royal.
That went for you now.
Fucking Hindenburg.
Yeah.
Male fraud.
And by that I mean FedEx.
Not really fraud.
I gave you a month to work on that, and I got back back from vacation.
Like, you want to fucking
give me some of your material?
His delivery was like the eyes of the world were upon him.
It was so stilted and like
weird.
You seemed weirdly self-conscious.
I was told it was supposed to be like Mork addressing
or a fucking elf addressing Santa.
And when you fucking looked at me with a fucking dumb look on your face, I was like, I'm going to get emails about this.
Do you want your topic now, or do you rather wait like Q?
I'm going to wait like Q, Broad.
I mean, to make it fair, I feel like I should wait, but I mean, if I want to fucking...
Do you want to impress the prof?
I guess so.
I don't think I've ever impressed a teacher in my life.
So, yeah, maybe I'll take it ahead of time.
And then maybe I'll get some emails about how smart I am.
All right.
All right.
So you want to?
I'll just copy and paste off Wikipedia.
And the prof, who I know is listening, which I'm really fucking, I really am happy, and really makes me feel good that we have professors listening at home, Steve Dave.
That to me means so much more than like
all you other regular assholes.
All you dummies.
Which man you were counted amongst kids.
All right, here's your topic, Bye.
Okay.
The Civil War.
Right.
What if
the atomic bomb was introduced as a weapon during the Civil War?
Okay.
I'll take mine now, too.
No, no.
This sounds like fun.
This sounds like fun.
No, you're not getting it now.
You're being punished.
Put $5.
That was a perova.
I didn't think it was like that.
What'd you think it was like?
I thought you were literally like, this is a timeframe, which of these objects don't belong in it.
I didn't realize it was a thing.
You thought a professor would be needed to come in and fucking judge that?
Well, I don't know the game, buddy.
So how am I supposed to fucking say how it is in your head?
Your description of it was how something that doesn't belong in that Arab is there,
and then what effect it would have going on, like a butterfly-type effect.
I don't see a good choice of words, Bill.
Yeah, okay.
So, we might have seen a few hats over here.
Yeah, I think it'll be more fun that way.
Okay,
what if
Elvis' first appearance on
Milton Burrow?
Ed Sullivan, Ed Sullivan,
he doesn't sing rock and roll,
but he does hardcore rap.
Okay.
All right.
Sunday Jeff style.
That's good.
I got a monster dick.
No, no, no.
I'm not saying he obviously can't curse.
He introduces rap to the world instead of rock and roll.
Got it.
You want yours now?
Yeah, I guess so.
Well, you're not going to fucking do the work anyway.
You want it now or not?
I mean, it's weird because Elvis was accused of stealing his music from black musicians, and in this alternate reality, he's still stealing it from black musicians.
And to have the TSD effect and to kind of fucking make you guys
kind of knock you off, you're allowed to heckle.
Okay.
How's that different from any episode of Columbus Dave?
Well, I don't want you to feel snotty and snooty like we're at a college course.
Okay.
I want you guys to be able to try to get them off their game by kind of like making fun and like, you know, heckling and mocking their theory so you can make yourself look better.
If I'm late, it's because I wasn't allowed to take the bridge.
I had to take the long way.
I had to cross the river.
All right, get him.
Yep.
Now, Brian has
instead of the atomic bomb being introduced into warfare during World War II, it's introduced during the Civil War.
Okay.
Hugh has
the world
witnesses,
instead of the world witnessing the birth of rock and roll with Elvis, it's the world of rap.
He introduces rap to the world.
Okay.
You have
the cotton gin is introduced during the Renaissance.
The Renaissance.
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
And then they were called Impressing the Prof.
Renaissance in Italy or just world?
During the Renaissance period?
Yes.
Okay.
What do I look like a professor?
I look like a prof.
I'm going to get an email now.
All right, so we'll try to do that next week if our our professor is free.
I know this professor.
It seems like, regardless.
If he's not free next week at any point, you guys will have two weeks to work on it then, which will really strengthen your game, hopefully.
And this is an instance where I want you guys to, I'm putting you in a position, I'm putting you in a spot to really fucking shut up these assholes that are fucking slagging you
on a weekly basis.
Okay.
These intellectual elitists who think they're smarter than we are.
I see it constantly.
Oh, Walt's so stupid.
I'm embarrassed to listen to Tom Steve Dave.
He's so dumb.
And the stuff they say about you, I'm not going to talk about it.
How can you not know that you got a bad idea?
That's a nice word compared to what they say about us.
But this is a chance for you to fucking really just slap them down and really show off.
Pretty much the average intelligence.
All right.
And for this, I got to give him a one-time pass to come back on the show.
Yes.
Come on.
And you could really fucking have a bad thing.
Heck on him.
Like, he thinks his IQ is smart.
He thinks he's so fucking big and bad with his big IQ.
All right.
I guess.
All right.
Brian, anything else, Brian?
You're in for Butterwinks?
Yeah, of course.
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You too can have your art and eat it too.
I believe that she's onto something, though, with like if you're trying to make a presentation,
let's say you're trying to sell a project to a comic book publisher,
you could lay out each panel.
Let's say you have a six-panel page or a five-panel page.
Each panel should be done in a cookie form.
And you give it to the editor.
You're like, you like this?
Tastes good too.
And then you just make an impression.
They'll never forget the guy who submitted in cookies.
That's right.
Now, Q, question to you.
Let's say someone was trying to apply for a job on Impractical Jokers.
Yeah.
And they presented their resume to you in cookie form.
Would that make an impact on you?
No.
At first, they wouldn't even get to you.
They wouldn't get to me.
What do I look like?
Get them.
Yeah.
As always, everything in the shop has free shipping, and you can use the code TESD to get 10% off your order.
And you know, I'm going to take back that Butterwings t-shirt comment.
If we get another season on Comic Book, Man, I'm going to wear it.
Wear the Butterwinks.
If it's a great shirt,
I'm not sure.
Would you wear Butterwinks on the
show?
No, welcome.
Want me to go grab one?
Not right now, you fucking.
Go ahead.
You don't have to.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, so just go to butterwinks.com and
they do look amazing.
I spray mine with like shit.
I don't want to get him on the show anymore.
I don't want him on another episode of this fucking show.
Yeah, I don't like it.
Ally?
Ally.
I don't dig it.
I don't like it.
I want him gone.
I like him here.
I like to have somebody in my.
You have Brian in your camp.
Why can't I have somebody in my camp?
I'm in your camp.
All right, so he could be on overkills.
I don't think he should be on regular episodes anymore.
I'm looking at Butterwinks right now.
Is Butterwink, is she married?
Butterwinks is a hot.
Giddam's gone.
Look at her.
What I'm going to.
Hey, you know what?
I'll take a step further.
Any regular episodes of Tell him Steve Dave that Giddam's on?
I'm not on.
All right.
There you go.
Okay.
Oh, he's back.
All right.
Butterwinks?
Yeah.
Hey, the first person who orders something from Butterwinks.
I would wear that Butterwinks shirt if we get another season.
If Butterwinks was to email me the first order she gets with a TSD code, I will send something maybe in the way of a piece of felt to the very first person who orders off the Butterwinks.
And that's valuable, that felt.
The eBay prices are crazy.
I want to meet the deranged soul who buys a piece of felt for $400.
That's fucking crazy.
I'm concerned that that person just bid it up that high and has no intention of paying.
Oh, you think?
But you have to let listeners know one of the pieces of felt that came at the Vinyl Cast 2, someone to put it on eBay and get them to inform me that it went for $400.
But I don't know if that was complete or not.
You can get a piece of that felt if you're the first person that orders from Butterwinks.
And Butterwinks will send me
your info and I'll send out the felt.
Sweet.
Order something from Butterwinks.
Okay, now here are people who actually pay for
ads.
She paid?
She paid.
You made her pay?
At a very,
very reduced rate.
Okay.
I was going to say, she's done so much for us.
She's cool, Butterwinks.
I'm not just saying that because she's a cutie.
Like a medium and large.
That's it.
Trying to date her now.
You'd be a fucking
pampered in cookies, brother.
Yeah, she would never have me.
She'd take one look.
She'd be like, yeah, hello.
You're going to eat all my art, you fucking fat pig.
It's like you're set for cookies.
Seek the mistakes.
She don't make no mistakes.
Well, dating me would be the first.
Leaving me around her cookies would be the second.
And then December, yeah, and the third mistake was like, I know where I can make some money.
I know I'll make that fucking money back.
Fly on the waves of your destruction.
Soar and the waves of your destruction.
The fire of the world
because they're black and sky.
Red and bloody piles of camp and
ride.
We
are all just pieces and became
hypocrisy
Rome,
silent
please make no one
policy
The table
shall be torn
When the brains come crashing down,
they will cleanse and heal the land.
We will take back what is ours.
When the brains come crashing down,
they will cleanse and heal the land.
This year is trying to fight.
Feeling like
there's too much pressure.
Round to war is lost forever.
Stand tall, beach out and put an end to what has turned.
This lack can never hold us.
This lion never tries.
We are all to pieces every day.
This is our prophecy
With our brains just crashing down,
it will crash and heal the lands.
We will take back what is ours
with our brains crashing down.
It will crash and heal the land.
This ship is gonna fight.
Feeling wide, there's too much pressure.
And the world
is lost forever,
stand tall, be counted.
For the land to all this taller, your freedom will be given.
Downrising breaks the system.
Fly on the wage
of your
derivation.
Four is the wage of your destruction.
The fire of the wreck is lost in black and sky.
Resident bodies piled down,
can't destroy.
This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir only at Smodcast.com.
