#308: The 2016 Overdose Full Special

Speaker 1 Greetings, TESC Town. The 18th Sergeant of Light has returned.

Speaker 2 As have I, Telequis.

Speaker 1 Yes, we have both returned to TESD Town to celebrate our favorite Earth holiday, Halloween.

Speaker 2 That's right, Sarge L 18. And how do we like to celebrate Halloween? By listening to the Telemsteve Day Halloween special, of course.

Speaker 1 Commence the TESD Halloween special now, Telequa. I, Sarge L18, doth command it.

Speaker 2 You heard the Sarge. Let's start the show.

Speaker 4 Happy Halloween, everyone.

Speaker 6 Hello, darling. This is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and you're listening to the Tell'em Steve Dave Halloween Spookular.

Speaker 9 I was working it out.

Speaker 10 You spoke directly to Giddam. I saw you.

Speaker 8 So what

Speaker 10 No more more answers, no more thinking.

Speaker 11 I feel like I've lost my mind.

Speaker 14 The two of you are staring at each other.

Speaker 18 Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell I'm Steve Dave, the spooky Halloween edition.

Speaker 20 The spooktacular.

Speaker 21 We made that up.

Speaker 22 Spectacular. We own that.
Yeah.

Speaker 23 Don't try to steal it.

Speaker 24 Q, you're back. I'm back.

Speaker 23 After a hiatus?

Speaker 25 Yeah, a couple of weeks.

Speaker 26 A couple of weeks.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 27 you were named Pussle of the Week.

Speaker 29 Yeah, I know. You may have heard.

Speaker 25 Why was I named Puzzle of the Week?

Speaker 14 Because coming into this, I mean, I literally dragged my ripped, bleeding, torn, crushed carcass here to record this week.

Speaker 32 You did.

Speaker 14 I didn't take... Prescription grade painkillers all day so I would be lucid for this episode.

Speaker 17 I wasn't lucid for years.

Speaker 34 Right. You could have done it for an hour.

Speaker 35 And I have been like

Speaker 29 fucking human.

Speaker 14 It was painful to drive down here today. I have a crushed nerve in my hip.

Speaker 14 My tailbone buttocks area is all.

Speaker 10 And this is all from the Brett Michaels experience?

Speaker 29 None of it from Brett Michaels.

Speaker 37 That was where my ass hurt the week before.

Speaker 14 Only to come here to find that I'm puss all the week.

Speaker 14 Yeah. It doesn't add up, brother.

Speaker 41 A secret source told us that instead of coming down to record, tell them Steve Dave, you went to a Brett Michaels concert.

Speaker 36 We can't reveal his identity or her identity.

Speaker 30 Well, it's not that it wasn't secret.

Speaker 14 And why am I responsible for making it down here the one night a week? Why can't everybody work? Why isn't it like everybody's schedule has got to be accommodated? Why isn't it just

Speaker 14 somebody else can't do it Monday, so I have to do it the night of a concert I've had tickets to?

Speaker 45 I don't know. I could have done it, right? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 10 Every night we would have been free. We're always free.

Speaker 30 All right, so what are we talking about here?

Speaker 36 We're talking about you, the one day that you said you could do it, going to a Bryn Michaels concert instead.

Speaker 47 I think that's what we're talking about.

Speaker 39 It wasn't worth it.

Speaker 48 It was worth it. Really?

Speaker 21 Yeah, man.

Speaker 49 I loved it more than doing two.

Speaker 50 He fucking

Speaker 14 kicked it all night long.

Speaker 14 He fucking, I don't know if you know this, but he likes cowboy hats.

Speaker 29 Bandanas.

Speaker 14 Yeah, he had a bunch of bandanas. He's awesome.
You go there, and before he even comes out on stage,

Speaker 14 and I'll never. Look, the guy puts on a hell of a show, but you know, you're seeing an 80s icon when you get there, and

Speaker 14 the only thing that's on the stage are six giant photos of himself blown up, like seven-foot-high photos of himself in the world in the 80s.

Speaker 54 Yeah, oh boy, it's amazing.

Speaker 14 But whereas you say, oh boy,

Speaker 14 I'm sorry, lest I fucking offend his biggest fan.

Speaker 9 Like, there were definitely, like, photos

Speaker 14 that make him look like sexy Brett Michaels, no matter what era he's in.

Speaker 49 I never understood that because you have all these photos from

Speaker 50 30 years ago.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 59 And then you're on stage.

Speaker 60 Yeah.

Speaker 21 So people can make the comparison immediately and be like, ooh.

Speaker 14 Nah, this guy holds up well. He sleeps in a chamber at night or something.

Speaker 62 Hyper.

Speaker 63 He's got the energy.

Speaker 10 He's Hyperbolic.

Speaker 25 Yeah, he sleeps in a chamber,

Speaker 14 but he has got the energy. He's shooting around stage.
He's singing his songs. His voice hasn't lost a beat.

Speaker 65 What do you open with?

Speaker 14 He opened with

Speaker 30 Talk Dirty to Me. What did he close with?

Speaker 25 He did a Kiss cover.

Speaker 47 Kiss. Yeah, he did Kiss Cover.

Speaker 14 He did TwitHome, Alabama.

Speaker 14 He did a bunch of covers.

Speaker 10 Did he play it?

Speaker 64 Yes.

Speaker 14 Let me tell you something. Everybody brought out their cell phones.

Speaker 14 I was the only one in the theater that had a fucking tell him Steve Dave Zippo pulled it out.

Speaker 14 Within about five minutes, security came over and asked me to please.

Speaker 14 So I was shut down.

Speaker 36 So when he's doing that, that

Speaker 33 love ballad.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 57 Is the floor basically like a slip and slide from all the girls?

Speaker 14 Dude,

Speaker 14 it is

Speaker 14 wall-to-wall, drunk Jersey chicks, way past their prime, still in love with them. Fucking amazing.
It's just a blast.

Speaker 49 Sleep in hyperbaric chamber.

Speaker 27 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 14 It's as if he vampires off there as

Speaker 29 to stay young.

Speaker 14 Like they go on that tour, bro, and he just sucks off a decade here or there for himself.

Speaker 14 He's fucking great. He plays, he doesn't fuck around with like, here's a song I wrote a year ago.
You know what I mean? He's like, here's the songs you want to hear. Here's the songs you want to hear.

Speaker 14 Here's a couple of songs you didn't even know you wanted to hear by other artists. Gonna play them too.
He's all over that goddamn stage. The guitarist from Cinderella is his guitarist now.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 14 He's into it.

Speaker 14 I have a feeling like if 10 people showed up, he'd put on the same fucking show as he does in a pack theater. The guy loves what he's doing.

Speaker 73 Loves it.

Speaker 14 Can learn a lesson from that guy.

Speaker 54 I did learn a lesson from that guy.

Speaker 46 What'd you learn?

Speaker 29 About appearing. You can play the cowboy hat on? Yeah.

Speaker 14 I mean, the guy really exudes that he enjoys what he's doing up on stage. It made me be like, you know what? I got to make sure that I'm always putting out there that I'm enjoying it as a public.

Speaker 72 Even though you're not.

Speaker 14 Even if sometimes I may not be.

Speaker 14 You really, really fucking, you know.

Speaker 10 He changed your life.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to go that far.

Speaker 28 Maybe it's good you didn't come last week.

Speaker 11 But so, whatever.

Speaker 14 I mean, you want to call me a puss hole for going to a concert?

Speaker 10 For the record, I did not.

Speaker 77 I don't think I deserve it, man.

Speaker 10 I'm going to nominate you for the puss hole of the week.

Speaker 14 Yesterday.

Speaker 25 Thank you, Walter.

Speaker 14 Yesterday was a mouth.

Speaker 29 I didn't exactly fuck fight your heart testing, though.

Speaker 10 I did not think that you should have been brandished the puss hole.

Speaker 14 I appreciate that, buddy. That means a lot to me.
I'm no potato chip.

Speaker 79 I'm here.

Speaker 80 That's right. Wounded.

Speaker 10 Proven.

Speaker 14 Yesterday was in Mount Sinai getting neurological tests. Here I am.

Speaker 81 Well, do you want to tell people what happened?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 83 Sure.

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 14 But we have the big

Speaker 14 practical jokers November 3rd at the Rudential Centers. What are you guys coming to that?

Speaker 10 What day is that? November 3rd.

Speaker 14 It's Thursday.

Speaker 10 I leave for Florida that

Speaker 10 I didn't realize it when I said I was coming.

Speaker 11 All right, no big deal. Sorry.

Speaker 14 It's all right, buddy.

Speaker 29 Hey, guess who's not going to Florida?

Speaker 11 You coming?

Speaker 85 Nice. I can get a ticket.

Speaker 31 Yeah, you can get a ticket.

Speaker 14 Get him, you coming?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 72 I don't have his mic on. You're going to come to dinner that night?

Speaker 14 Are you going to skip dinner that night?

Speaker 30 All right, thanks. So there you go.

Speaker 14 Thanks, buddy. That means a lot to me.

Speaker 86 So

Speaker 14 we have that big with Nitro Circus.

Speaker 14 Now, I don't really want to talk about what we're doing there because they haven't revealed yet for whatever reason.

Speaker 14 But you can be sure with Nitro Circus, there's some amount of stuntish shenanigans going on.

Speaker 60 Yeah, I was wondering if this recent accident of yours would have

Speaker 28 called in an alternate joker, maybe Chris Ledondo.

Speaker 14 We're working on plans now because something's got to happen. Because I was down in the Nitro Circus compound.

Speaker 14 It's my first time in an ATV, and I've learned that within five minutes.

Speaker 14 I flipped a 600-pound ATV walt, came down on my left side, and then rolled over me.

Speaker 25 Crushed me pretty good.

Speaker 14 Crushed a nerve in my leg. I still don't have feeling.
They're saying if I get feeling back in my left hip, it won't be.

Speaker 10 There's a potentially that you'll have a numb leg for the rest of your life?

Speaker 30 Just the hip, yeah.

Speaker 14 There's a potential, a strong potential, that I will have no feeling in my left hip for the rest of my life. With injuries like this, sometimes they come back, sometimes they don't.
You never know.

Speaker 91 I mean, that's the nature of the game you're in, though, now.

Speaker 92 I'm not really a physical comedian.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I don't know about that.

Speaker 23 Well, that's what I said.

Speaker 95 I was like, when did you guys kind of turn into jackass, you know, where they're doing these stunts?

Speaker 36 Like when Q sent the video to us, I saw him going over that jump, and I was was like, I didn't know he was experienced.

Speaker 54 Oh, I'm not.

Speaker 57 And then two seconds later, yeah, then I saw that rollover, and I was like, I mean, the fact that he texted it to us let me know that he was okay.

Speaker 32 But when I saw you flip over, I got that feeling.

Speaker 49 Like, my mother's instituted this feeling of like everything is worst-case scenario, no matter what.

Speaker 17 So, like, if somebody's five minutes late and you hear like a siren go off, they're

Speaker 17 dead in addition.

Speaker 40 No, no, I wouldn't get worried, but growing up, that was always like if my father, like Edgar wasn't home yet, it was Edgar was dead.

Speaker 40 But I try not to let it get to me, but when I saw that with Q, it did.

Speaker 32 I had that weird feeling of like, oh, my God, like, I hope he's okay.

Speaker 10 See, I had the feeling of, I was like, man, could you imagine?

Speaker 24 There's no way the puzzle we could survive that.

Speaker 10 Can you imagine

Speaker 10 if that was something, that would have been the, maybe the most viewed video on YouTube if like something really bad happened.

Speaker 34 He got like Stephen Hawking packed.

Speaker 10 I mean, that video would have made the rounds worldwide.

Speaker 22 I thought it would have gone viral.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 38 Well, it's a shame.

Speaker 11 See, that's the road rash.

Speaker 14 It keeps bleeding like random.

Speaker 102 Why don't you have that rap better?

Speaker 14 You're supposed to let it breathe to the air.

Speaker 12 She was oozing all over the place.

Speaker 14 My bed in the morning, it's like make sure it pauses.

Speaker 10 It's on the road rash or just on the armor's on the back of the bottom.

Speaker 30 No, my back to back.

Speaker 14 Nothing as bad as that.

Speaker 62 Like, that's the worst of it.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 there was a mic pack on my right side, and when I hit the ground and the ATV immediately rolled on me, I heard a crunch, and I felt just a pain shoot up. And in my mind, I was like, I have lost.

Speaker 14 I just broke my hip. Turned out I broke the mic pack, thank God.

Speaker 14 And then I tried to get up, and I immediately went back down because a nerve had just gone on my leg, and

Speaker 14 there was a lot of pain. It caused a lot of death.
I broke ribs.

Speaker 64 I got broken ribs.

Speaker 14 Yes, I got broken ribs.

Speaker 61 Like, you just recovered from them recently.

Speaker 10 I can't get a break. And

Speaker 10 how are you then saying that you're not a physical comedian?

Speaker 14 Because, I mean, it's certainly funny, that video.

Speaker 10 But you're doing it for the sake of comedy, though.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but we're not, like, it's an aberration. I don't think we're really physical guys.
I don't think we're ever going to do anything like that again. I think that was the.

Speaker 49 I was shocked that insurance covered that.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 103 Yeah.

Speaker 103 It was.

Speaker 14 Well, the Nitro Circus guys.

Speaker 49 Yeah, usually, like, you can't get insurance because they primarily are not.

Speaker 17 physical comedians. They don't do physical, like, put themselves in danger that much.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 10 I mean, I mean, the show, like, a a lot of the stunts that punishments involved jumping off fucking sheer cliffs.

Speaker 14 Here and there,

Speaker 10 they're up high up on like little trolleys and shit.

Speaker 79 Right.

Speaker 10 They're walking tightropes, allegedly.

Speaker 105 It was a conspiracy.

Speaker 106 I was unaware of it.

Speaker 37 I remember saved that for overkill.

Speaker 10 I remember after he did it, I was like, it looked weird.

Speaker 37 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 107 It looked all herky jerky.

Speaker 10 And why would they make the moment the greatest moment of all time?

Speaker 93 Why would they pull back so far?

Speaker 56 But I showed you the footage.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 29 I'm close footage.

Speaker 64 That was a joke.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 14 But it's not what we're known for. But you're right.
I guess there has a. I think that element is gone now.

Speaker 10 You're going to eliminate the

Speaker 10 Nitro factor.

Speaker 14 I'm not doing it. The Nitro Circus guys are very cool, very nice.
I like them very much. But

Speaker 33 you don't have to let them down.

Speaker 9 Well, you know, what's

Speaker 10 supposed to do at Nitro Circus, right?

Speaker 14 Well, the November 3rd, I don't know what I can do or can't do. Like, everything's in question now.

Speaker 14 The event's probably going to be better because I can't do it if I can't do it because we're coming up with alternate plans for me that might be better than the original. But

Speaker 14 we don't know if I can't do it and we don't.

Speaker 10 You can't just go inside a giant gerbil ball

Speaker 11 with broken ribs.

Speaker 10 Maybe we're like a midget clown or something.

Speaker 110 Now you feel like you guys are wrestling naked.

Speaker 59 Why don't you only do things that

Speaker 28 maybe put your left hip at risk

Speaker 28 since already you don't have any feelings, so it wouldn't hurt.

Speaker 10 What do you do for the physical therapy then? Do you have like to have some sort of massage? There's nothing.

Speaker 14 Oh, I do have a prescription for

Speaker 56 oxy.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 14 And I was suggested that

Speaker 22 I get, what do they call it?

Speaker 14 Like medical massage therapy.

Speaker 92 That's oh, yeah, it's a thing.

Speaker 47 Your hips?

Speaker 14 Yeah, my whole body.

Speaker 21 Don't go to Walt's guy in the mall.

Speaker 10 To bring back the feeling in that hip?

Speaker 14 I don't know if it's to bring back the feeling. I think the only thing I could do that is time.

Speaker 14 The nerve has to reattach itself.

Speaker 14 So it's been a rough week, and then to just be called puss hole

Speaker 14 via social media the entire time. I gotta tell you, it's a downer, man.
It doesn't feel right.

Speaker 116 I'll tell you what.

Speaker 34 I want to rescind it with Walt's support, I named you Puss Hole of the Week.

Speaker 118 That's right,

Speaker 115 but yeah, after seeing this and you coming down here, and I'm looking at you, you are, you're all scraped up.

Speaker 57 Yeah, I'm in pain, and you're walking very stiff.

Speaker 40 Yeah, so uh, thank you, yeah.

Speaker 61 But

Speaker 10 I mean, let's be honest, though, like that, I mean, it's

Speaker 10 you have you've you've had to bow out because of physical things too, though. So it's

Speaker 74 a bit hard.

Speaker 68 Well,

Speaker 68 that was your fault for not naming me puss hole of the week.

Speaker 58 That's on you guys.

Speaker 14 Yeah,

Speaker 89 the colonel's no puss hole.

Speaker 80 Certainly not.

Speaker 10 A puss hole of the, what was it, like Man of the Decade? Remember Time Magazine?

Speaker 80 Right. Hitler, you know.

Speaker 29 Hitler.

Speaker 110 Puss hole of the decade.

Speaker 122 Still Hitler.

Speaker 72 All right. That was it.

Speaker 14 I just wanted that. I wanted to make my case for getting that rescinded.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 24 It's officially been taken off.

Speaker 48 Strike it like you're like you're on a jury.

Speaker 20 Disregard that.

Speaker 11 You never heard that.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that is permanently removed from your record. I appreciate it.
And tell them Steve Dave Towns. Thank you.
All the town records now have it, you know. Right.

Speaker 12 A red line.

Speaker 55 It's been expunged.

Speaker 29 Yeah. You're exonerated.

Speaker 89 It's been bleached.

Speaker 29 It's been ridiculous.

Speaker 16 I got Hillary's team on it.

Speaker 29 You just read an email about this shit.

Speaker 10 Oh, I just deleted it.

Speaker 14 In fact, if anybody brings it up, it's grounds for libel.

Speaker 14 So watch yourselves.

Speaker 45 All right.

Speaker 12 All right. Thank you.

Speaker 110 Okay.

Speaker 82 So we got, okay, so this is our Halloween episode.

Speaker 95 We got some Halloween stuff here.

Speaker 124 We got some puss holes.

Speaker 59 I'm curious to see what you guys think about this.

Speaker 57 This happened a few weeks ago.

Speaker 39 Knottsberry Farb closes controversial mental institution themed haunted house no

Speaker 104 yes

Speaker 95 um

Speaker 39 fear vr virtual reality i guess it's supposed to mean was a new haunted house at not scary farm and it was about a possessed patient running around a mental institution uh they closed it down because one guy complained uh his son got shot by the cops because he was like a schizophrenic and

Speaker 104 I guess he was freaking out, and the cops shot him.

Speaker 17 And he wants everyone to know that mental illness is no joke.

Speaker 94 They're more likely to be a victim of crime than to commit a crime.

Speaker 14 But murder's no joke.

Speaker 10 Yeah, and every, like, we sell, like, you know, Jason

Speaker 10 machetes.

Speaker 10 Yeah. So, I mean, we are murdered.

Speaker 14 So, if my son was murdered, I could call him Knotts Very Farm and be like, hey, man, my son was murdered. How dare you highlight murder?

Speaker 10 Certainly seems like it's pointing. Everything's pointing in that direction.

Speaker 10 Eventually, that will happen, I think, and we'll have to only be dressed up as like

Speaker 10 rainbow ponies,

Speaker 10 you know, because there'll be no more scary.

Speaker 10 No, not because of the gates, just because it was cheerful. Okay.
You know, cheerful and non-threatening.

Speaker 53 Right.

Speaker 10 And non-you know, it doesn't trigger anything.

Speaker 104 Right.

Speaker 36 Giddam, is your mic on?

Speaker 119 No.

Speaker 128 Turn on.

Speaker 36 Can ponies be scary?

Speaker 105 Some people, yeah.

Speaker 57 This is a guy who's

Speaker 14 brought down by a pool noodle.

Speaker 29 That's true.

Speaker 10 But you've dealt with ponies, right? Yeah. On the farm.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Has a pony ever injured anybody on the farm?

Speaker 130 No, not on our farm, no.

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 131 But some people, it's...

Speaker 24 Have you heard of rogue ponies?

Speaker 131 Well, I heard about one who crushed someone's foot at a circus, but

Speaker 131 that might have been part donkey. I'm not sure.

Speaker 29 Right.

Speaker 40 So no purebred ponies, to your knowledge, have.

Speaker 29 This made you angry, though, huh?

Speaker 16 It didn't make me. Okay, this isn't the one that moved my needle.

Speaker 17 Troy sent me an article.

Speaker 95 I'll read it next.

Speaker 17 It made me so mad that I almost came down to do an emergency pod.

Speaker 10 I want to hear that one then.

Speaker 37 Yeah.

Speaker 45 Well,

Speaker 45 this is my question.

Speaker 94 I mean, it seems both you guys agree that it's just it's like one person.

Speaker 59 Like, nobody's saying that somebody with schizophrenia, like it's supposed to be haunted.

Speaker 14 Well, did you say he's possessed?

Speaker 135 Yeah.

Speaker 115 So what the fuck?

Speaker 136 They're saying, this guy is saying that Los Angeles Resident blah, blah, blah, penned an open letter about Knott to an L.A.

Speaker 17 Times editor.

Speaker 94 Knottsberry Farmer is horrifying because it demonizes people with mental illness.

Speaker 43 Shame on Knott's Berry Farm and shame on L.A.

Speaker 60 Times for presenting illness as entertainment.

Speaker 10 I mean, on one hand, I mean, you really can't see two sides like you can't see that it it isn't fucking insensitive in a world we live in now where we're trying to make it that mental illness is not

Speaker 10 so such a stigma in society that

Speaker 10 you don't see that you could you know they eventually would get to this point. Brit.
You don't think that you didn't see this coming?

Speaker 34 No, because the mental

Speaker 17 I mean, there are so many haunted asylums across the country. This one isn't going to Knottsbury Farm is making money in so many other ways that I think to them it's like, it's worth the PR to say.

Speaker 10 I thought it was Not Scary Farm.

Speaker 79 Well, they call it Not Scary Farm.

Speaker 24 Change it during

Speaker 24 Halloween.

Speaker 11 Oh, okay.

Speaker 57 But these other places where the Halloween season is their bread and butter, these asylums or these haunted houses.

Speaker 131 Or the prisons. What's the one down in Philly?

Speaker 112 Yeah, but I mean,

Speaker 10 but you just have to.

Speaker 10 But like

Speaker 10 things evolve, though, and you have to change what the times are. I mean, you could still have scary,

Speaker 10 but just don't be an asylum, though. Just be like aliens or,

Speaker 10 you know.

Speaker 4 Like Mexicans.

Speaker 91 You know what I mean?

Speaker 10 Like

Speaker 10 otherworldly aliens or interdimensional things that cannot be

Speaker 10 something so unrealistic.

Speaker 29 You can't be a clown.

Speaker 34 Come on, man. Yeah.

Speaker 16 Like, you can't dress as a clown anymore.

Speaker 34 Clowns are getting beaten up.

Speaker 14 I did, let me see. Have you ever heard of this haunted house? I did one in Pittsburgh two weeks ago.

Speaker 14 It's apparently like a famous one across the country.

Speaker 139 I'll tell you what.

Speaker 23 They should let the people with mental illnesses take a vote.

Speaker 52 Not some guy who's sucked.

Speaker 29 Are they allowed to vote?

Speaker 102 Sure.

Speaker 93 I mean, an election, though. There you go.

Speaker 10 Like, can they vote for

Speaker 34 just for a Halloween origin?

Speaker 10 I mean, are they really, like, I mean, like, is somebody who's really, like, really, really out there, are they allowed to be like, I can cast my vote? Like, knowing that they've, you know,

Speaker 10 they don't have a toe in reality.

Speaker 131 But there's so many times that

Speaker 131 it's not the group itself that gets offended. It's people who get offended on behalf of the group, and then they go to the news, and then this stuff gets banned or, you know, panned.

Speaker 131 And sometimes, you know, the groups themselves will fight back and say, well, you know, we don't agree with you. Like, I know there was a big thing about Speedy Gonzalez.

Speaker 131 People came forward and said Speedy Gonzales presents a negative stereotype of

Speaker 131 Latinos. And then

Speaker 131 Latino groups came forward and said, No, he's a fan of the fucking, he's like mega-popular in Mexico.

Speaker 14 I know.

Speaker 12 This is it.

Speaker 14 All right, so this is it called the Scare House in Pittsburgh. And it was

Speaker 14 fucking awesome.

Speaker 57 Scare house. Any mentally ill people running around?

Speaker 21 There are.

Speaker 14 And then if you go into the basement, it's one of those ones where they could touch you and put hoods on you and slap you and shit like that.

Speaker 10 Slap you.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 140 How much was this for?

Speaker 29 Burst your eardrum.

Speaker 102 No, I got slapped.

Speaker 29 slapped you got slapped yeah they put a hood on me and then loosing one of the fucking well means

Speaker 29 hey easy come here you look nuts my god take that gown off trick or tweet

Speaker 14 uh and it was pretty cool man but there was a there was um

Speaker 10 mental patience in it i'm not i'm just saying but i do believe that over the course of the next 10 years we'll see a move away from the halloween

Speaker 45 mental ill, illness

Speaker 10 use of that mental ill, mentally ill as Halloween fodder.

Speaker 59 As someone who's been classified as mentally ill officially, I say keep it going.

Speaker 46 Well, they don't have a depression room, but I've also been diagnosed as bipolar, too.

Speaker 4 So, come on, man.

Speaker 49 I should get a vote.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but this is the new American

Speaker 14 dude with a lowest common denominator is what must be adhered to. Remember that.
Just to stay on topic, but slightly switch it. I'm wearing my new favorite shirt.
This is Brian Johnson's

Speaker 14 mugshot from when he got arrested. Does this trigger you? Are you offended by this shirt in any way?

Speaker 59 I'm not offended, but it does trigger me.

Speaker 94 Back to a time

Speaker 43 when I was innocently driving down the street with my tinted license plates, pulled over by the long arm of the law.

Speaker 10 Made to sign autographs.

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 29 I take pictures.

Speaker 120 Yeah, thrown in with common criminals. Right.

Speaker 110 Murderers, rapists.

Speaker 12 Clowns.

Speaker 57 There was a couple clowns in there.

Speaker 143 They didn't know why they were in there.

Speaker 95 They hadn't heard the news.

Speaker 138 No.

Speaker 23 No, it doesn't trigger you.

Speaker 131 Does a haunted prison trigger?

Speaker 46 No, it doesn't. It has my full endorsement.

Speaker 117 I love it.

Speaker 14 Every time i wear this shirt it gets so much so many comments the reaction is uh always uh people do love it overwhelmingly popular so i'm asking you are we going to sell this shirt uh that's a number that's the that was the plan you know that was the question people keep asking me are you gonna sell the

Speaker 45 picture of this

Speaker 10 well i don't know when but we'll get it up there soon all right

Speaker 10 so everybody can wear their

Speaker 102 it's a it's a fucking dope shirt man it's great we just need some sort of logo on it though.

Speaker 14 Oh, what do you mean?

Speaker 10 Need something, you know, spice it up a little bit, like a logo or something on it. Maybe a four-color demons

Speaker 67 logo on the bar.

Speaker 10 Just spice it up a little.

Speaker 118 All right.

Speaker 57 I love that I'm wearing the Telme Steve Dave shirt.

Speaker 23 Yeah, it's a pretty great favorite part.

Speaker 136 If I had to name a favorite part of my mug shot.

Speaker 131 Could they colorize maybe the TST logo?

Speaker 92 Yeah.

Speaker 10 We could do anything with computers nowadays.

Speaker 92 Yeah, all right. Let's see what we can do.

Speaker 14 All right. Because I wore it on tour, and

Speaker 14 I got that asked that question a lot.

Speaker 67 Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Speaker 104 All right. Available soon.

Speaker 79 All right.

Speaker 89 I wasn't sure if you were going to go for it.

Speaker 12 I'm glad you are.

Speaker 61 Of course. Come on, man.

Speaker 42 Who's more liberal than me?

Speaker 44 Sweet.

Speaker 116 All right.

Speaker 34 So, Walt, you have some stuff prepared for us, a special Halloween game.

Speaker 138 Now that we've got.

Speaker 10 It's not really a game.

Speaker 10 It's a storyline.

Speaker 29 Ah, storyline.

Speaker 10 This is impressive. Like

Speaker 29 a theme.

Speaker 10 And the theme was Tell'em Steve Daves or TSD's TSD's Inferno. TSD goes to hell.

Speaker 16 And

Speaker 10 you guys would visit the nine circles of hell, and in each circle, you have to complete a task to move on to the next circle. And once you complete all nine, you come back from hell.

Speaker 10 If you can't complete all nine, you're stuck in hell forever.

Speaker 43 So, wait, we go to hell, or then we move on to heaven?

Speaker 28 Because isn't that what happens in the poem?

Speaker 24 Like, Virgil brings them through don't ruin it.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 99 You're putting apart before the horse. Sorry.

Speaker 45 As usual.

Speaker 48 I know I'm getting stuck in hell.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 10 now to get into hell, you're going to need a ferryman or a guide. I'm going to be that guide.

Speaker 39 Your Charon.

Speaker 10 But not so much me, but

Speaker 10 Baron von Flanagan for the guide.

Speaker 10 So to begin, you've got to summon the Baron. The Baron will appear,

Speaker 10 and he'll lead you guys into hell.

Speaker 10 All right, now to summon the Baron.

Speaker 51 So we're dead.

Speaker 10 No, no, no.

Speaker 10 I'm going to take you into hell as the Baron after you summon him.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 10 you've got to sell. To summon the Baron, you have to sell your soul.

Speaker 14 Okay. To the Baron?

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 10 That's the thing. You don't sell your soul to the Baron.
Can you hand that to Q? You read this. Okay.

Speaker 10 Sell a little bit of your soul. Wow.

Speaker 148 So open this and

Speaker 10 read that and you and

Speaker 10 sell your soul. Okay.
And the Baron will appear.

Speaker 14 These are.

Speaker 133 Go ahead.

Speaker 29 I just saw it. This is a genius.

Speaker 14 So sell my soul.

Speaker 86 Okay.

Speaker 14 Casper is a sleep brand that created one perfect mattress sold directly to consumers, eliminating commission-driven inflated prices.

Speaker 14 Its award-winning sleep surface was developed in-house, has a sleep design, and is delivered in small, how did they do that-size box.

Speaker 14 In addition to the mattress, Casper also offers an adaptive pillow and soft, breathable sheets. The mattress industry has forced consumers into paying notoriously high markups.

Speaker 14 Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the consumer.

Speaker 14 Get $50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com slash T-E-S-T and using promo code T-E-S-T.

Speaker 14 Keep going. My soul is not sold enough?

Speaker 55 Sell it.

Speaker 99 All right.

Speaker 149 Completed.

Speaker 10 The Baron's almost here.

Speaker 92 You want to talk about quality?

Speaker 14 An in-house team of engineers spent thousands of hours developing the Casper.

Speaker 62 I'm selling my soul.

Speaker 14 It combines springy latex and supportive memory phones for a sleep service that's got just the right sink and just the right bounce.

Speaker 14 Plus, its breathable design sleeps cool to help you regulate your temperatures through the night.

Speaker 14 Mattresses can often cost well over $1,500, but Casper mattresses cost $500 for twin-size mattresses, $600 for a twin XL, $750 for a full, $850 for a queen, and $950 for a king.

Speaker 14 Buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and free returns at a 100-night home trial.
If you don't love it, they'll pick it up and refund you everything.

Speaker 14 Casper understands the importance of truly sleeping on a mattress before you commit to it, especially considering you're going to spend a third of your life on it.

Speaker 89 Required talking points, right?

Speaker 80 No, no, let's get him to

Speaker 64 Baron's here. Let's go.

Speaker 29 Get $50.

Speaker 29 Baron's getting bored.

Speaker 14 Get $50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com/slash TESD and use promo code TESD. Casper is made in America.
There you go.

Speaker 10 You summon the Baron

Speaker 10 and the Baron appears.

Speaker 70 All right.

Speaker 142 You've got your top hat on.

Speaker 41 Now your soul is Baron.

Speaker 10 All right. So you call the Baron.
The Baron arrived.

Speaker 10 You both will have tasks performed in each circle that must be completed before moving on to the next circle.

Speaker 10 In each circle, you will meet the demonic lord of each circle who will greet as well as torment you

Speaker 10 while you're in their circle.

Speaker 31 Okay.

Speaker 10 But be warned: as you descend deeper into hell, the madness will increase until your micro-thin strands of sanity

Speaker 10 just snap.

Speaker 10 It's almost a guarantee by if some chance you do reach the ninth circle that the both of you, along with any listeners who choose to join us on this journey, will end up irreversibly

Speaker 10 insane.

Speaker 151 Wow.

Speaker 57 I'm glad how two-thirds of our crew is almost illiterate he's saying T-E-S-T as the fucking code for Casper

Speaker 49 you're over here stumbling and stammering we got a dyslexic over here you said dyslexic oh no it was Rob Bruce here

Speaker 29 what did I stammer on go ahead Baron I don't question you

Speaker 10 you just did all right do you both wish to continue yes

Speaker 64 I'm ready come on man we're going to hell you're fucking you fucking stopped texting bro I'm not texting her fuck that that.

Speaker 29 I'm putting up a picture of Q in the shirt.

Speaker 64 No research. No, no, it's no good.

Speaker 10 Now, put that fucking picture up on merch table. You're going to put a picture up of it.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 11 Okay, yes.

Speaker 10 Fucking does no good.

Speaker 14 He's selling his soul right now.

Speaker 10 Yeah,

Speaker 10 again, to nobody, though.

Speaker 10 He's not even getting a dime for his soul.

Speaker 110 Yeah, that's about what it's worth.

Speaker 153 All right, come on.

Speaker 29 All right. I'm ready.

Speaker 10 Do you both wish to continue?

Speaker 29 Yes, yes. Okay.

Speaker 10 But before we begin, a final warning to the listeners. Now is the time to turn this episode off if you wish to have any hope of remaining whole.

Speaker 10 TSD cannot and will not be responsible for the implications that listening to this episode may or may not cause. You have been warned.

Speaker 32 See what I mean?

Speaker 10 And the Baron is absolved.

Speaker 10 Let us proceed into hell.

Speaker 10 Okay, you ready? Okay, we're here.

Speaker 10 This is hell.

Speaker 14 The first circle of hell.

Speaker 10 We're approaching it.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 10 Do you hear the winds howl, Hugh?

Speaker 36 If Declan did his job, we did.

Speaker 10 The winds passing through an empty chasm. Nothing of substance exists here.
Just a sad, vast, barren wasteland that stretches on and on and on.

Speaker 10 The Lord of the First Circle approaches.

Speaker 10 Bow to the Lord of Limbo, both of you.

Speaker 29 Thanks for watching.

Speaker 44 Like the limbo, like with the rod that people duck under?

Speaker 10 No, the first circle of hell is called Limbo.

Speaker 3 Fucking around.

Speaker 14 Walt has the top hat on.

Speaker 54 Amazing. Okay,

Speaker 10 guys.

Speaker 11 Yes.

Speaker 10 Bow to Limbo.

Speaker 4 Hey, guys, welcome to hell.

Speaker 107 It's me, me.

Speaker 123 Okay, to get out of limbo, each of you are going to have to listen to clips of iconic horror movies correctly identified.

Speaker 139 Easy, right?

Speaker 89 One catch in limbo.

Speaker 142 It's all about Ming.

Speaker 123 So I'll be inserting myself into each clip.

Speaker 78 Good luck, guys.

Speaker 10 Okay, did you guys hear that? What's your task, the first task, that the Lord of Limbo has put forth to you? He's going to play clips. Well, I'm going to play clips.

Speaker 14 Is it tit-for-tat or we're going to save them?

Speaker 141 You're a team. We're a team.

Speaker 10 Oh, all right. You have to get these all right, or else you can't move on.
There is no getting it wrong.

Speaker 16 Wait, we're a team going through hell, take out?

Speaker 60 Yeah, dude, that's a dream for me. I know.

Speaker 14 I feel like that's the description of my life

Speaker 45 ever since we met 10 years ago.

Speaker 14 Just a team getting through hell.

Speaker 10 Okay, you ready for the first clip? All right. You've got to correctly.
You can't get this wrong, or you can't get out of limbo.

Speaker 98 The game's over.

Speaker 29 And the game's over. Really?

Speaker 140 Yeah.

Speaker 140 Sure.

Speaker 155 Ready? All right.

Speaker 156 They've got you all safe

Speaker 156 Unclean spirits.

Speaker 154 Shove it up your ass, you fake.

Speaker 29 Begun.

Speaker 38 Fuck him, Karis.

Speaker 8 Poly creature!

Speaker 123 Let me get a hold of that crucifix, Padre.

Speaker 156 Hey, look!

Speaker 51 Now you see it?

Speaker 156 Now you don't!

Speaker 29 Holy spirit!

Speaker 29 I mean,

Speaker 48 I feel like we're gonna get out of limbo, buddy.

Speaker 74 Well, there's all there's four clips.

Speaker 107 That's just one of them.

Speaker 46 Oh, at the same time, I don't remember a lot of that from the movie.

Speaker 12 But contextually, you know what it is.

Speaker 115 Yeah.

Speaker 21 I thought that Ming was going to be doing the lines, not like he was inserting himself in the scene.

Speaker 11 It's even better this way.

Speaker 103 Yeah.

Speaker 135 It's ten times better than I thought it was.

Speaker 45 Where did he put that crucifix?

Speaker 29 Mike.

Speaker 10 So you guys either hear it again or you know it?

Speaker 14 I know it. You know it.

Speaker 55 All right.

Speaker 10 Before you say it, you want to confer?

Speaker 14 I mean, it's Exorcist.

Speaker 29 It's the Exorcist.

Speaker 54 The Exorcist.

Speaker 10 The Ferryman needs an answer. The Baron wants to know which clip is it?

Speaker 126 Yeah, we said the Exorcist.

Speaker 10 The Exorcist. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 10 Correct.

Speaker 10 Clip number one is correct.

Speaker 47 Excellent.

Speaker 10 Clip number two.

Speaker 124 I can't believe you set up an entire game that, like, if we couldn't get that, it would be over already.

Speaker 10 Well, I mean, I set it up for you.

Speaker 141 This is hell for dumbs.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 108 Here's Johnny.

Speaker 58 I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to bash your brains in.

Speaker 158 The watch is the last.

Speaker 29 all right guys

Speaker 14 i mean the shining yeah

Speaker 10 shining the shining very iconic scene from the shining now you guys now those two movies

Speaker 10 they belong in the horror hall of fame oh god yes yeah horror movie hall of fame they both get in there first ballots absolutely top 10 both within the top ten yeah okay well at the end of it i'd like to get your thoughts out like after all four clips you put them in in numerical order of importance or in you know

Speaker 10 in terms of you know which is the greatest all-time horror movie. Okay, all right, so you got that right, too.
You're off to a great start.

Speaker 79 Ming.

Speaker 134 She just keeps laughing.

Speaker 58 All right.

Speaker 10 Clip number three out of four.

Speaker 80 It rubs a lotion on its skin.

Speaker 46 It does this whenever it's told.

Speaker 159 Mr. My Family, okay, Cat.

Speaker 46 I feel like this is all recorded in this house.

Speaker 80 Is that Tevi? It rubs a lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

Speaker 48 Yes, it will, precious.

Speaker 89 It will get the hose.

Speaker 89 Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 89 Okay,

Speaker 89 okay.

Speaker 89 Okay.

Speaker 89 Mister, if you let me go, I won't, I won't press charges, I promise.

Speaker 107 See, my mom is a real important woman. I guess you already know that.

Speaker 51 Now, it places the lotion in the basket.

Speaker 123 Places the lotion in the basket.

Speaker 4 I want to see my mom.

Speaker 109 Please.

Speaker 15 I want to see my

Speaker 29 put the fucking lotion in the basket.

Speaker 14 Oh, God, amazing.

Speaker 60 I'll say this much. I want to see Ming in every horror movie from now on.

Speaker 10 You guys got a guess?

Speaker 57 Sure, of course.

Speaker 110 Pretty solid guess after literally the first line.

Speaker 93 Silence of the Lambs. Yes, sir.

Speaker 10 It's correct.

Speaker 19 There's just something so different of Jane Gum saying, like, what the fuck are the past?

Speaker 139 And Ming being like, what the fuck are they doing in the basket?

Speaker 10 Isn't that more disturbing?

Speaker 57 It sounds so weird.

Speaker 101 And that laugh, that soulless laugh.

Speaker 10 Yeah. It's like the most empty laugh of all time.

Speaker 68 He's already been through the nine circles on this way, right?

Speaker 10 All right, last one, guys.

Speaker 47 Uh-oh, come on, Kia.

Speaker 34 We can't afford it.

Speaker 64 This is the toughest one.

Speaker 85 It is.

Speaker 10 I've made this one the hardest one.

Speaker 10 There's always got to be a curve wall.

Speaker 8 Who are you?

Speaker 135 Explorers in the further regions of experience.

Speaker 55 Demons to some, angels to others.

Speaker 45 It was a must day.

Speaker 45 I didn't, I didn't make it out, but it was! It was a mistake!

Speaker 150 Resolved the box?

Speaker 61 We came.

Speaker 123 Now you must come with us.

Speaker 55 Listen to our pleasures.

Speaker 29 Hello,

Speaker 160 everybody, and welcome to ISO Comics, a weekly comic for Mark and Ring,

Speaker 158 broadcasting from the home of the comic profession.

Speaker 80 Oh, no tears, please.

Speaker 123 What is the good suffering.

Speaker 62 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 70 All right.

Speaker 56 Yeah, I think we can agree, too.

Speaker 14 Hellraiser. Yep.

Speaker 55 Hellraiser.

Speaker 10 All right, let's see what Ming has to say.

Speaker 123 Congrats, guys. You're moving on to Circle 2.
Gotta say, I'm a little disappointed.

Speaker 127 I thought you'd be joining me here in Limbo a bit longer.

Speaker 123 Boy, did I have plans as well as an infinite number of hats I was going to have you model, Brian?

Speaker 29 Yeah, you sure look good in a hat, Brian. See you guys later.

Speaker 58 That's a nice callback.

Speaker 45 All right.

Speaker 91 Wow. We're out of limbo.

Speaker 13 All right.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 10 those four movies are, where do you place them?

Speaker 39 In terms of personal?

Speaker 37 Well, all-time.

Speaker 64 All-time horror list.

Speaker 36 I think people would go

Speaker 59 Exorcist,

Speaker 57 Silence of the Lambs, Shining, Hellraiser.

Speaker 124 I think normally that's the order people would put them in.

Speaker 54 I would go Exorcist, Shining,

Speaker 14 Silence of the Lambs, Hellraiser.

Speaker 3 You don't think more people are aware of Silence of the Lambs with all the sequels and

Speaker 112 Hennibal and all that shit?

Speaker 14 I just think in terms of like scary.

Speaker 10 You went Exorcist first, then Shining?

Speaker 14 I think so. I agree.

Speaker 79 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Because Exorcist scared the fuck out of me when I was a kid.

Speaker 29 Shining. It still does.

Speaker 64 It still hasn't.

Speaker 10 It makes you watch it and you're like, Something about it just feels

Speaker 10 really evil.

Speaker 42 Even like the non-demonic shit, like when they're having having the party and she's like, you're going to die up there and just pisses all over the floor.

Speaker 10 I don't think it could ever be matched. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I just think now we're just so. I guess maybe because our age, too, but there's nothing that's going to be a little bit more.

Speaker 150 It's largely touched.

Speaker 70 Yeah.

Speaker 10 But I mean, for when it came out, it had to have been like.

Speaker 161 Mind-blowing.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 78 It's the modern-day equivalent of clowns now.

Speaker 137 All right.

Speaker 10 Let me get back. So we are on to circle two.

Speaker 10 Oh, the sounds of desire and fornication cannot drown out the cries of agony and despair as we approach circle number two.

Speaker 10 And there could be only one being to rule in this ring of filth and degradation. Bend your knees for the prince of lust.

Speaker 129 Howdy, welcome to Get Em Steve Dave's Ring of Lust.

Speaker 131 That's right, I am the personification of lust. I am a man dying of thirst who just craves salt.
I am to other passions what the nervous fluid is to life. I support them all.

Speaker 131 I lend strength to them all. Ambition, cruelty, avarice, and revenge all are founded on me.
Whether it's carnal material or a shiny new Zippo, it's all the same.

Speaker 131 Okay, guys, you're gonna play a family feud type game where you have three strikes to guess the top five answers to name something people lust after.

Speaker 29 But in hell, there's all

Speaker 40 the the telecom lessons from Maxwell.

Speaker 10 Wait a minute. Why is that cut out?

Speaker 14 A southern gentleman, right?

Speaker 131 But in hell, there's always a twist. So here's where we ratchet up the madness.

Speaker 131 All the while, while you are trying to think of the answers, an audio clip of me lustfully masturbating will play on a loop in the background in an effort to distract.

Speaker 29 The Baron warned you all it was going to get crazy up in here.

Speaker 10 That's where the madness comes in.

Speaker 82 Why is he like a southern gentleman?

Speaker 9 He's like a foghorn.

Speaker 67 It's like

Speaker 29 Watson.

Speaker 45 I have no idea.

Speaker 10 That was not direction on my part, right?

Speaker 141 Why did you sky draw?

Speaker 37 I just did it.

Speaker 70 All right, hey, man.

Speaker 153 All right.

Speaker 10 So do you get the idea what's going on here, Q?

Speaker 29 So, yeah, we're going to play

Speaker 58 while he jerks off in an all-white suit.

Speaker 10 It's an audio clip.

Speaker 10 He's not going to do it in front of you. He wasn't supposed to be here right now.

Speaker 70 All right, got it.

Speaker 25 But now he is here, so is he going to jerk off?

Speaker 10 No, no, no. It's just an audio clip to try to distract you so you can't

Speaker 10 because he, because the top five things people lust after, it's kind of easy to think of, but not while you're trying to block this out of your brain. So let me know when you're ready to start.

Speaker 14 All right, I guess we're ready, right?

Speaker 10 Okay, who's going to go first?

Speaker 29 You take it, right?

Speaker 164 All right.

Speaker 45 All right, Brian, go. How are you going?

Speaker 131 All right, let me hit the internet. Just give me an answer.

Speaker 20 First five things that people

Speaker 58 lust lust after.

Speaker 14 You have dial-up connection.

Speaker 11 That's a good touch.

Speaker 16 They lust after money.

Speaker 10 They lust after money.

Speaker 14 Whose decision was it to give him dial-up power?

Speaker 14 Oh, that's fucking

Speaker 10 yes, people lust after wealth.

Speaker 10 Okay, Q, you're up.

Speaker 96 I mean, sex.

Speaker 80 All right.

Speaker 10 Sex, it's up there.

Speaker 130 Bing, bing. Medium, let's wake up.

Speaker 46 Now we just got to get one more.

Speaker 10 No, you got five things.

Speaker 10 We got to get all five, right? We got to get all five.

Speaker 61 No strikes.

Speaker 49 Without any strikes. Okay.

Speaker 138 Power.

Speaker 10 That's fine. Power.
It's up there.

Speaker 138 What do we got?

Speaker 98 Oh, my God.

Speaker 122 That's disgusting.

Speaker 72 We got sex, money, power.

Speaker 165 Sex, money, power.

Speaker 29 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 110 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 124 I already know it's not him because there's a girl's voice in there.

Speaker 29 Wait a minute.

Speaker 4 What are you doing? Or are we watching?

Speaker 10 And I want to go back to my notes.

Speaker 14 We got sex, money, power.

Speaker 165 Sex, money, power.

Speaker 106 Young Lynn Pussy, baby.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 9 It's working.

Speaker 148 It's working on me.

Speaker 141 Strike one.

Speaker 93 It was too long.

Speaker 89 Uh-oh, you got a strike.

Speaker 10 Brie, it's up to you.

Speaker 29 I'm getting ready for work.

Speaker 21 Sex, money, power.

Speaker 70 All right, bye. And.

Speaker 130 All right, now where was I?

Speaker 29 Uh-oh, we got only one strike left.

Speaker 74 Sex, money, power, fame!

Speaker 108 Fame, it's up there!

Speaker 29 Shit, we're fine.

Speaker 78 Oh, it's all on you, pal.

Speaker 131 She's too into it.

Speaker 165 Sex, money, power, fame.

Speaker 70 Um.

Speaker 29 Come on.

Speaker 29 Damn it.

Speaker 29 Hello?

Speaker 29 Yeah, well, respect!

Speaker 71 I heard you the first time.

Speaker 29 I heard you the first time say respect.

Speaker 55 I guess I'll go with respect.

Speaker 29 It's up there.

Speaker 29 Dude, people rush after respect?

Speaker 24 Is that a common?

Speaker 162 Defecto's first when I get to work.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 45 I wasn't aware.

Speaker 4 I haven't been doing it for 48 years.

Speaker 89 That was all of them, right?

Speaker 90 Yeah, everything's fine.

Speaker 162 Everything's fine. Okay.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 162 All right. I'll talk to you later.

Speaker 132 Bye.

Speaker 110 Well, you can't be off if you're going to be.

Speaker 61 Shit.

Speaker 10 All right. You got it all.

Speaker 83 You made it through.

Speaker 29 How long did you record exactly?

Speaker 10 All right, let's see what happens now.

Speaker 87 Schoolgirl.

Speaker 131 Well done. You're free to move on.
But can anyone honestly say that we'll be able to ever move on after this? See you guys soon.

Speaker 95 Sooner than you think.

Speaker 87 Oh, damn.

Speaker 78 Disgusting.

Speaker 30 All right. Oh, get him.

Speaker 114 So now we will.

Speaker 14 That's a new low.

Speaker 29 I can't believe we're breezing through these rings so easily.

Speaker 96 Not in a million years, but I would guess respect.

Speaker 10 Actually, it was sex, wealth, fame, power, and respect.

Speaker 161 Wow.

Speaker 10 Those were the top five things people lusted after. Have you guys ever lusted after any of that stuff?

Speaker 21 I haven't given up long ago.

Speaker 61 I never got any of them.

Speaker 10 Q, have you ever lusted after all those?

Speaker 14 Not fame, definitely money.

Speaker 124 Definitely sex. Yes.

Speaker 14 What was the rest? Power?

Speaker 84 Power?

Speaker 14 Power over my own destiny, not power over other people.

Speaker 10 Respect?

Speaker 11 Yeah, not really.

Speaker 30 I don't really care what other people think.

Speaker 10 I would ask you, but you just masturbated all your leaky drugs.

Speaker 14 We know respect's not something you're chasing after.

Speaker 29 Or any of the other four.

Speaker 10 All right, so you guys are able to move on. Moving on to circle three, which is gluttony.

Speaker 116 My specialty.

Speaker 10 Now, when you think of the word gluttony, what's that one phrase?

Speaker 10 Glutton for what?

Speaker 14 Punishment.

Speaker 10 Punishment. Right?

Speaker 10 So that's why in Circle 3, Gluttony, I thought it was the perfect time to bring in the only ringleader or circle master to the table. He's the only one that does not have an audio clip.

Speaker 10 So back to back, we're going with Giddem. Oh, no.

Speaker 9 We get through the fucking, we get through the second circle, and he's the third as well.

Speaker 10 I told you it was crazy and bad. And hell is, you don't want to be here, listeners.

Speaker 89 I mean,

Speaker 29 listen to this as a warning.

Speaker 10 You don't want to be in hell. It's a bad place, right? Right, Giddem? Yes.
All right, so now it's.

Speaker 10 In keeping with the theme of glutton for punishment,

Speaker 38 we are going to play the all-new, all-different, all-improved.

Speaker 11 No, no, no.

Speaker 167 Dyslexia.

Speaker 37 No!

Speaker 13 God damn it, no!

Speaker 11 Oh, God.

Speaker 29 God damn it.

Speaker 10 It's a Halloween edition of a dyslexia.

Speaker 74 I'd rather listen to him jerk off.

Speaker 93 Would you really want to?

Speaker 30 Oh, God, not dyslexia.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 37 you will have.

Speaker 28 He has assured me that it's been refined and fine-tuned.

Speaker 64 And it's Halloween-themed.

Speaker 93 It's Halloween-themed, and you also have

Speaker 74 cards to play with.

Speaker 70 Get out of hell cards.

Speaker 62 Look at this dyslexia.

Speaker 77 Get out of hell cards.

Speaker 10 So if you don't get the answer right, you can play one of your dyslexia. Get out of hell cards.
Okay.

Speaker 161 All right.

Speaker 10 So if you need to get out of it, I'll hand the card to Giddam, and he'll read what you guys have to do.

Speaker 86 Okay.

Speaker 155 All right. So Giddam,

Speaker 10 Giddam will be reading you as a team, and you guys have to guess. And we're going backwards now.

Speaker 10 That's where I made the biggest mistake last time: everything has to be backwards, including the gameplay.

Speaker 86 Okay.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 10 the first thing you hear is going to be the word associated. Okay.
The last thing you'll hear is him speaking it backwards.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 10 I guess. No, no, that's the last thing.
So you can play the card in between that. Got it.
Okay. You got four cards to play.

Speaker 14 So we're going to get the opposite thing first and then the word.

Speaker 74 Yeah. That's it.

Speaker 53 I thought that's how it went last time.

Speaker 10 Nope.

Speaker 10 We went with the phonetic pronunciation.

Speaker 10 Tell Suzanne, you'll be home soon.

Speaker 82 Jesus Christ, dude.

Speaker 52 This is a picture of the Baron now.

Speaker 10 Start right now. You start with clue number one.

Speaker 65 Clue number one: lowering bald.

Speaker 79 Wait.

Speaker 89 Lowering bald?

Speaker 125 Lowering bald.

Speaker 26 So this is.

Speaker 64 Halloween feet.

Speaker 10 Halloween-centric.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 54 So high hair?

Speaker 10 Wrong.

Speaker 156 Wait.

Speaker 29 Wait a second.

Speaker 10 He threw it out. You guys should confirm before he said it.

Speaker 29 I was confirming.

Speaker 10 No, you looked right at Giddam. So was.

Speaker 107 You looked right at him.

Speaker 10 Now you're going to have to play a card now.

Speaker 9 But I didn't, but we didn't lock in an answer or anything like that.

Speaker 57 I know. He's so buzzer happy, right?

Speaker 49 Like, he just wants to fucking shut us down.

Speaker 10 So you got to play a card.

Speaker 10 Next time in the next round, do not just fucking blurt it out.

Speaker 105 But

Speaker 50 I was working it out.

Speaker 10 You spoke directly to Giddam. I saw you.

Speaker 8 So what?

Speaker 10 So you should have been like, you shouldn't have.

Speaker 68 Since when the fuck have you put Giddam in charge as the be-all, end-all word on fucking anything?

Speaker 29 All right.

Speaker 61 Suddenly, get him to the boss.

Speaker 45 Only here.

Speaker 81 So, are you going to tell us the answer to it?

Speaker 10 No, you can play it. You have to get this right to move on, so you have to play one of your cards.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 10 Tell them what the card is.

Speaker 34 So it was.

Speaker 103 It was way more. Hold on.

Speaker 14 This is going to help us. It was

Speaker 24 lowering bald was the last one.

Speaker 10 Lowering bald was the clue.

Speaker 150 Okay.

Speaker 10 Okay. Now you're going to now you have to play.

Speaker 22 So raising hair is not it?

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 74 Okay, what's the

Speaker 29 hair raising?

Speaker 10 It's too bad that you wasted it. You got it right.

Speaker 23 Yeah, because you would have to reverse it.

Speaker 10 It was hair raising.

Speaker 9 Yeah, just because I was looking at.

Speaker 10 You know what?

Speaker 10 Even in hell.

Speaker 29 Are the demons taking heart?

Speaker 89 Even in hell, we have a heart.

Speaker 11 I'll let that one go. All right, thank you.

Speaker 31 Thank you.

Speaker 10 Okay, we're going to give you that one. Correct.

Speaker 31 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 169 Okay.

Speaker 48 All right. Now calm down, Keith.

Speaker 23 I'm sorry.

Speaker 29 I'm sorry.

Speaker 74 It's full of nervous energy.

Speaker 29 It's the heat, right?

Speaker 10 All the flickering flames around us.

Speaker 152 It's that.

Speaker 14 It's a lot going on.

Speaker 121 Injuries

Speaker 81 that get them left behind from the last round.

Speaker 70 All right, Harry.

Speaker 10 Go to number two.

Speaker 161 All right.

Speaker 131 Atheist, destroy.

Speaker 14 Looking at Brian.

Speaker 25 Atheist destroy.

Speaker 57 Okay, so the opposite of destroy is create.

Speaker 98 Or build.

Speaker 53 The opposite of atheist believer.

Speaker 136 So it would be 10 seconds.

Speaker 38 Come on.

Speaker 154 Come on, man.

Speaker 10 People are listening to this. They don't want to listen to you stumble.

Speaker 114 But they're trying to work it out, too.

Speaker 170 Yeah.

Speaker 116 They're not. Atheist Bald?

Speaker 29 No, no, not Bald.

Speaker 111 That was the last one.

Speaker 57 He's dizzy.

Speaker 14 No, it's belie. It's what was it? Say it again, get him.

Speaker 131 Atheist destroy.

Speaker 10 All right. Come on, I got it.
Bust it, man.

Speaker 25 Atheist destroy.

Speaker 24 So create.

Speaker 10 All right. Play the card.

Speaker 132 Your card is call a dyslexic.

Speaker 10 Actually, I've got a dyslexic person on the line.

Speaker 114 I don't understand

Speaker 9 this.

Speaker 10 Yeah,

Speaker 10 this is the first part.

Speaker 66 When do I listen to him say it backwards?

Speaker 10 That's the last thing. If he can't get it now, then he does it.
Everything's in reverse.

Speaker 31 I got you.

Speaker 66 Who's the dyslexic?

Speaker 10 He's a guy I sent out.

Speaker 10 This is good for us because he

Speaker 58 won't rate it.

Speaker 45 He's a stamp of approval.

Speaker 29 You definitely won't rate it. It's a listener.

Speaker 135 And we found out like

Speaker 10 hey, is this Tucker? This is Tucker. Hey, Tucker.
Tell him Steve Dave.

Speaker 171 How are you guys doing tonight?

Speaker 55 Good.

Speaker 25 Very confused, Tucker.

Speaker 29 Yeah, we need your help.

Speaker 51 Now, you.

Speaker 55 I need you.

Speaker 14 A dyslexic stranger's help

Speaker 47 so we don't get buzzed again.

Speaker 10 Now, Tucker was the first person when I put out the. Remember, I asked for people who had dyslexia to listen to

Speaker 10 write into me so I could develop the game. He's helped me develop the game.
He's come up with

Speaker 10 this challenge, this new wrinkle in the game to call a dyslexic to help you with the clues.

Speaker 17 So, Tucker is a lesser demon that's going to give us a hit.

Speaker 10 And he also gives us the ability to call the game dyslexia.

Speaker 31 Okay, gotcha.

Speaker 10 We have him a plus two.

Speaker 14 Is he masturbating right now?

Speaker 10 He has no reference to that.

Speaker 149 He was a part of the ring, too.

Speaker 10 So, Tucker, you're going to hear, Giddam is going to give you the two-word clue.

Speaker 14 He's like, like, no, no, he's right.

Speaker 10 And you're going to have to tell us what the clue is, okay? What the answer is to the two-word clue, okay?

Speaker 126 You should see the setup alt has going on.

Speaker 21 A phone going through a little Bluetooth speaker.

Speaker 10 Can you hear Gim? Get him speak. Six years.

Speaker 69 Six years are going to do this.

Speaker 10 Can you hear that?

Speaker 92 Okay, so you're ready, Tucker?

Speaker 171 I am ready.

Speaker 131 Okay, the clue is atheist destroy.

Speaker 171 Atheist destroy.

Speaker 10 How much time do I have? We'll give you a little bit of time.

Speaker 80 Who the fuck was it? If you're dyslexic.

Speaker 11 You've got a half hour.

Speaker 171 Is atheist destroyed?

Speaker 10 Yeah. What's the opposite of destroy?

Speaker 171 Make.

Speaker 169 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yes.

Speaker 10 What's the opposite of atheist? It's make-believe.

Speaker 141 Make it!

Speaker 106 It's make-believe.

Speaker 111 Oh, my God.

Speaker 74 Holy shit.

Speaker 10 AQ?

Speaker 10 Where's fucking Simmy?

Speaker 107 Where's Simmy right now?

Speaker 10 Where is he? You've got to play this one.

Speaker 55 He's home with his family.

Speaker 78 He's somewhere not turning a TV on.

Speaker 14 Should we be worried that Stacey got it too?

Speaker 29 She got it too.

Speaker 10 Do you have dyslexia? No? Okay.

Speaker 10 Tucker, thank you.

Speaker 10 We have to continue.

Speaker 10 We are in hell right now.

Speaker 14 More ways than one.

Speaker 47 We'll probably be calling you back.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you're somewhere in heaven and hell. Yeah, you're in Belford, right?

Speaker 48 You know that talking into a Bluetooth speaker doesn't help.

Speaker 29 It does.

Speaker 98 It's the microphone on top.

Speaker 29 Oh, does it?

Speaker 10 All right, man.

Speaker 10 Stay close to your phone because these guys may need your help again. I want to definitely call you back one more time because that was fucking amazing.
All right, so staying on your phone, all right?

Speaker 98 I'll be here.

Speaker 10 All right, I got to disconnect right now, though.

Speaker 37 Don't go to work.

Speaker 74 All right, bye, Tom.

Speaker 14 Ignore your children.

Speaker 121 Thank you.

Speaker 117 That is pretty good because with destroy, all I could think of was create.

Speaker 68 Then I got stuck on create and then trying to think of the opposite of atheist.

Speaker 93 All right. Next clue.

Speaker 89 Thank you, Tom.

Speaker 64 Remember, guys, these are Halloween-centric words.

Speaker 10 So that gives you a leg up. You already know that it has to be associated with Halloween.

Speaker 29 You're right, you're right.

Speaker 26 We got this next one.

Speaker 11 We got it next one.

Speaker 81 And I'll say that, yeah, like, like,

Speaker 115 your opposites are very good this time.

Speaker 49 It's not like horse and car.

Speaker 165 Yeah. Like, like, that was a good one.

Speaker 115 I feel like I should have gotten it.

Speaker 117 I see the look on your face still saying, yes, horse and car are opposites.

Speaker 108 But when the fuck,

Speaker 10 exactly what I hoped would happen.

Speaker 10 That's a real game show, man. You call a real person that has

Speaker 10 the gift?

Speaker 53 I'll play this for Simmy.

Speaker 16 How many times do you think Tucker is referred to as dyslexia with a gift?

Speaker 107 In this instance, it's.

Speaker 31 If Simmy still has a job after almost getting me killed on Monday,

Speaker 14 we can run this by him again.

Speaker 79 All right. Okay, next one.

Speaker 129 You both ready?

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 155 How many do we have to get right? We've got all of them.

Speaker 172 How many are there?

Speaker 45 There's a lot.

Speaker 29 Really?

Speaker 37 You're in hell.

Speaker 106 Don't even laugh.

Speaker 167 Oh, my God. It hurts.

Speaker 11 Too many. Oh, my God.

Speaker 29 You ready?

Speaker 145 You ready? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 125 Alive, good.

Speaker 125 Alive, good.

Speaker 14 Well, the opposite of alive is dead, and the opposite of good is bad, or evil dead.

Speaker 14 Would we say evil dead is the answer, Brian?

Speaker 29 Let's go. Let's go.

Speaker 45 Evil Dead. Correct.
Yes.

Speaker 45 All right.

Speaker 10 Excellent.

Speaker 74 Nice. Three for three.
Speaking of which,

Speaker 49 I got stars based just on your recommendation.

Speaker 14 How awesome is it?

Speaker 28 I can't believe how much I love it.

Speaker 14 Ash vs. Evil Dead is fucking awesome.

Speaker 54 It's amazing.

Speaker 56 It's really good.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you got it just for that, huh?

Speaker 99 Yeah.

Speaker 12 It's worth it.

Speaker 39 Well, I figured, like, it's three seasons in.

Speaker 49 If I get two for a month, it's like nine bucks, so I can watch the whole thing.

Speaker 104 And then

Speaker 10 I definitely want. I have stars, too.
I just haven't watched it yet, but I've heard nothing.

Speaker 14 Dude, it's amazing.

Speaker 47 And I loved Pablo right away.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Pablo's great.
The whole cast is great. Bruce Campbell's just a great.

Speaker 10 You were always a big fan of the franchise? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 14 Bruce Campbell's,

Speaker 14 I think he's one of

Speaker 14 two celebrities I've met in my entire life that I couldn't even talk to, that I was just too nervous to be around.

Speaker 10 He's one of two. Who's the other one?

Speaker 29 Bill Murray.

Speaker 10 Oh, they're going to say Roddy Piper.

Speaker 14 And no, Roddy Piper was able to talk to him.

Speaker 14 But at Comic-Con three weeks ago, I was in the same green room as Bruce Campbell, and I couldn't even fucking look at him without getting butterflies in my stomach.

Speaker 26 Wow, that's good. Guys,

Speaker 10 it's nice to see that that can still happen.

Speaker 114 He's the best.

Speaker 86 Still a little ground.

Speaker 54 He's the fucking best, man.

Speaker 72 He's just

Speaker 11 so good in it. Yeah.

Speaker 37 All right, Campbell.

Speaker 10 Ready for the next one?

Speaker 4 Sure. Yeah, yeah, we're on a roll.

Speaker 10 You're on a roll. You haven't got any wrong yet.

Speaker 93 You did need some help.

Speaker 89 Right.

Speaker 10 And I did have to give you a break on one.

Speaker 74 That's how we appreciate that.

Speaker 10 Because you're petulant.

Speaker 29 But that's all right.

Speaker 79 Okay, ready?

Speaker 67 Yes.

Speaker 102 Dog, white.

Speaker 4 Black cat.

Speaker 167 Oh, yo, yeah.

Speaker 10 But again, though, so petulant, though.

Speaker 167 I was looking at Brian when I said it.

Speaker 10 But imagine if you got it wrong, you'd be stuck in hell.

Speaker 29 But I pointed at Brian. I said, Black Cat.
That wasn't Ghetto.

Speaker 148 Now I have to modulate how I say it.

Speaker 29 I purposely.

Speaker 167 I'm looking at Brian.

Speaker 10 so loud, though, that it feels like, even to the getem and the listener, that you're like giving an answer.

Speaker 10 You got to say it almost as a question before you don't say it so matter

Speaker 167 positive.

Speaker 168 Yeah, that might question yourself.

Speaker 10 All right, next one, get him.

Speaker 161 Mammal, angel.

Speaker 94 Mammal, angel.

Speaker 23 Don't shout anything out there, I don't know.

Speaker 25 The opposite of angel is a demon

Speaker 56 or devil.

Speaker 67 Right?

Speaker 14 So, and the opposite of mammal is.

Speaker 14 Well, mammals are on land. There's a lot of ways we can go here.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 117 So water?

Speaker 29 Is it a lot of an amphibian?

Speaker 107 Devil?

Speaker 142 Water devil is not our animal?

Speaker 29 No, no, no. That's why I'm saying that.

Speaker 55 It wasn't even near.

Speaker 10 You both are looking very

Speaker 4 confused.

Speaker 10 So I know right away that you guys are not giving me an answer

Speaker 10 by the utter look of confusion on your eyes.

Speaker 14 What are the words you're going to get them? Mammal angel.

Speaker 10 You guys are going to have to play a card, it sounds like, which is all right. You got these cards.
So don't worry, you know, don't don't take it too hard if you don't get it.

Speaker 14 Mammal?

Speaker 14 Well, what's the opposite of an angel, Brian?

Speaker 42 Demon, right?

Speaker 17 I would say demon. And

Speaker 14 the opposite of a mammal

Speaker 34 would be an amphibian.

Speaker 10 Okay, guys, 10 seconds.

Speaker 35 Reptile.

Speaker 55 I'm going to need it

Speaker 29 for the next clue.

Speaker 29 All right, guys.

Speaker 14 Of a mammal.

Speaker 10 All right, guys. I'm sorry.

Speaker 10 No more answers, no more thinking.

Speaker 142 Okay.

Speaker 10 So the next card you guys are going to play, your dyslexia card.

Speaker 23 Is there any game that makes you feel stupider than this game?

Speaker 89 I mean, I got the last two, bro.

Speaker 85 We don't even want to dyslexia.

Speaker 115 We're going to get stuck here anyway.

Speaker 10 This is where another new wrinkle queue. Yeah.
We combine two fan-favorite games into one.

Speaker 10 Dyslexia, and that's Get Emtainment. You'll now hear a clip, a backwards clip of a song performed by Get Em Steve Dave.
That's Halloween-centric.

Speaker 31 Okay, got it.

Speaker 30 Wait, this somehow leads to the answer?

Speaker 10 No, you get to see.

Speaker 10 You're using this in lieu of the answer. You're throwing that out.
I'll tell you what it was right now. Okay.
Tell them what it was, get them. Devil fish.

Speaker 59 I was going to say devil fish, and I'm like, but that doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 113 But the opposite of a mammal isn't a fish.

Speaker 131 Yeah, you had it right.

Speaker 103 It's in the water.

Speaker 131 And it breathes in the water, and a mammal doesn't breathe in the water. A mammal has to come up to the surface.

Speaker 64 You're close to an amphibian.

Speaker 10 But you've also got to think, though, like, what is a Halloween-centric word?

Speaker 135 I'm so afraid to say devilfish, though, because I'm like, that doesn't really make any sense.

Speaker 49 It wouldn't be be devilfish.

Speaker 10 Is there such crazy? Guys, you got to move on.

Speaker 29 It's over, it's done.

Speaker 10 You didn't get it right, but you still had a chance to get this right.

Speaker 62 Let's focus on this.

Speaker 63 Let's get him to Emmy Card.

Speaker 169 Okay.

Speaker 10 All right. So, is it going to be a backward song?

Speaker 114 Is the song Halloween or something?

Speaker 10 Halloween-centric. I'm putting it on a T, and just like I just fucking run up and kick it cue.

Speaker 11 Alright.

Speaker 167 Monster Mash?

Speaker 29 I said, looking at Brian with a question in my voice.

Speaker 37 Good.

Speaker 10 Good.

Speaker 165 That's what I thought, but

Speaker 52 I'm so fucking gunshy now.

Speaker 117 Yeah, I mean, I'll go to Monster Mash with you.

Speaker 10 You're going to go with Monster Mash is the answer?

Speaker 29 Monster Mash.

Speaker 83 Correct answer.

Speaker 22 Thank you.

Speaker 10 All right. Get him.
Gone to the next one. Wow.

Speaker 29 Oh, no.

Speaker 31 Well, it certainly feels like hell.

Speaker 36 It's like, yeah, like, you feel like you're going to sleep so hard tonight, right?

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 14 Like, I should have taken the fucking painkiller.

Speaker 29 Do we have those?

Speaker 70 Oh, my God.

Speaker 14 Like, I'm in agony.

Speaker 114 All right, ready for the next one?

Speaker 12 Maybe it's just a half one.

Speaker 86 All right, hold on one second.

Speaker 26 This is about.

Speaker 10 You're about to take a paintkiller in hell.

Speaker 86 Yeah, hold on.

Speaker 11 What What milligram did they give you?

Speaker 33 Just like

Speaker 29 vicariously.

Speaker 14 Yeah, you tell me.

Speaker 163 It's truly like Pavlov's dog.

Speaker 27 All right.

Speaker 104 I'm going to take a look at these.

Speaker 47 All right.

Speaker 112 Oxycodone.

Speaker 47 Ah, fives, you pussy. Fives? Yeah.

Speaker 89 Oh, this is nothing?

Speaker 32 I used to take the equivalent of 75 of them a day.

Speaker 24 Holy fuck. All right.

Speaker 12 Here we go.

Speaker 151 All right.

Speaker 52 Thank you.

Speaker 54 Thank you, Nurse Patella.

Speaker 95 Certainly, you chew them up before you.

Speaker 29 Those are your smart pills, right?

Speaker 51 Well, I said there's so pussy.

Speaker 3 He's my friend.

Speaker 13 I can't be looking like a pussy.

Speaker 37 You're looking like a pussy, brother.

Speaker 10 Damn, just smart pills. Now, now you're on.

Speaker 55 Now you're going to be working on all filmies.

Speaker 52 We can't get it, but we were a straight.

Speaker 48 Do you have me to give you an Adderall to balance you up?

Speaker 26 All right, I'm straightening it.

Speaker 11 All right, you're ready?

Speaker 10 Remember, Halloween-centric. I know, I'm sorry.

Speaker 14 This is hard to think because my fucking tailbone is bounding.

Speaker 161 All right.

Speaker 14 Here we go.

Speaker 98 Work adults.

Speaker 172 Work adults.

Speaker 47 Child's Play.

Speaker 76 Thank you.

Speaker 76 Oh!

Speaker 11 Yes, child's play.

Speaker 89 Child's play.

Speaker 29 Correct dancer. Nice.

Speaker 131 Ready for the next one?

Speaker 81 Yes. Roll right into it.

Speaker 10 Okay. This is hell.

Speaker 131 Peace unlock.

Speaker 159 Peace unlock.

Speaker 25 Well, Brian, the opposite of peace is war.

Speaker 172 Warlock.

Speaker 84 Warlock.

Speaker 26 The Julian Sands movie Warlock?

Speaker 172 Warlock?

Speaker 14 Can I look again and say it?

Speaker 45 I would. Warlock.

Speaker 70 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 15 Oh.

Speaker 11 All right.

Speaker 10 That's an unfair advantage that he took those pills, and now he's all of a sudden.

Speaker 10 We should tell him Steve Davis going to have fucking drug tests.

Speaker 131 All right, this next one's three words, but the middle word doesn't really matter.

Speaker 94 So it's vegetable nor John.

Speaker 14 Wait, the middle word doesn't matter?

Speaker 91 It matters.

Speaker 91 It matters.

Speaker 10 Why do you say it doesn't matter? You're throwing them off.

Speaker 10 Everything's the opposite, including the middle word.

Speaker 14 What's the opposite of John? Because you've got got meat and

Speaker 14 vegetables, the opposite of vegetables and meat, right?

Speaker 60 Yeah, John?

Speaker 35 The opposite of John?

Speaker 60 I have a feeling this is one of those horse car situations.

Speaker 63 Halloween themed.

Speaker 14 But John, the name? John, the euphemism for a bathroom?

Speaker 29 John, a prostitute?

Speaker 28 Vegetable nor John.

Speaker 14 Well, something or prostitute. Something and prostitute?

Speaker 14 What's the opposite of Nor?

Speaker 14 And, right? That's what I like.

Speaker 169 I think so, yeah.

Speaker 14 So, something and

Speaker 14 meat and prostitute?

Speaker 96 Assuming that vegetable is the opposite of meat.

Speaker 29 Oh, God.

Speaker 10 All right, guys. You're going to have to

Speaker 93 a new card will come out.

Speaker 11 Well, what was the answer to that?

Speaker 10 Oh, wait, tell me the answer.

Speaker 132 Trick or treat.

Speaker 14 Trick, John's, and tricks.

Speaker 148 Okay.

Speaker 70 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Wait, but vegetable?

Speaker 10 It is the opposite of a treat. Nobody wants to eat.
No kid kid wants to use it.

Speaker 27 Vegetable.

Speaker 134 Fucking shit.

Speaker 11 Wait, also.

Speaker 54 Hold on a second.

Speaker 14 Ajohn is a trick, not the opposite of a trick.

Speaker 10 We're moving on. It's over.
You've missed.

Speaker 64 You got to return.

Speaker 10 It's ask a creator.

Speaker 14 But trick is not the opposite of a john.

Speaker 135 I feel like we should have gotten that one.

Speaker 29 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 26 Because or is not the opposite of noor.

Speaker 167 You got, come on, man.

Speaker 29 What's the quality control in hell?

Speaker 10 We're only at circle three. We got fucking nine to get through.

Speaker 29 You can't stay on this too long.

Speaker 10 You ready? So now it's the creator's play now.

Speaker 29 I feel like we should be given that one.

Speaker 135 And maybe the creator's play is for the next one.

Speaker 106 No.

Speaker 29 Why?

Speaker 105 Because it didn't make sense. It was wrong.

Speaker 59 Or isn't the opposite of Noor?

Speaker 10 Yes, it is. I looked it up.

Speaker 10 Yes, it is. I looked up.
I actually looked up what is the opposite of Noor. I looked it up and said or.

Speaker 37 Okay. I'll believe you.

Speaker 11 This or that, this nor that.

Speaker 113 Right, but process

Speaker 64 is a

Speaker 14 process. The John is a trick.

Speaker 116 Yeah. You know, she turns tricks.

Speaker 114 Yeah,

Speaker 78 he's right.

Speaker 29 No, he's never. Yes, I am.

Speaker 50 He's the opposite of a John.

Speaker 70 All right, fine.

Speaker 11 Come on, ready?

Speaker 10 The creators will play it.

Speaker 135 Yeah, the opposite of the John would be Hooker or Preston.

Speaker 14 Yeah, of course, but don't worry about it, Brian.

Speaker 30 Let's not get upset.

Speaker 14 Let's not get upset.

Speaker 30 Come on.

Speaker 37 We're already in it. Let's get out of here.

Speaker 14 We're only in the fucking third circle. We've got to get him out of here.

Speaker 27 All right.

Speaker 10 So since we've developed the game, we're the creators. Yes.

Speaker 10 We should have a major, major leg up on getting this right.

Speaker 75 Oh, definitely.

Speaker 10 And we should get it right that you're going to get it.

Speaker 12 I feel like I've lost my mind.

Speaker 14 The two of you are staring at each other, pretending like this isn't set up already.

Speaker 29 And the hat doesn't.

Speaker 174 Dad is wearing a fucking top hat.

Speaker 62 Giddam didn't bother putting his teeth in tonight.

Speaker 29 Like, everything just

Speaker 29 feels surreal.

Speaker 52 There's a mile-high stack of Reese's wrappers that Giddam has devoured.

Speaker 63 I needed some sugar.

Speaker 81 I can't even see him over the Reese's wrappers.

Speaker 167 We talk all about that in Seth.

Speaker 167 God.

Speaker 29 We're the creators, right?

Speaker 29 We can agree on that much.

Speaker 29 Fucking

Speaker 167 72 hours ago, a fucking ATV ran over me.

Speaker 110 You were legally dead for five minutes.

Speaker 74 And he'd much rather be back there.

Speaker 10 Maybe you are dead.

Speaker 10 Maybe you fucking died 72 hours ago, and you're in hell right now.

Speaker 29 You've got to make it through.

Speaker 10 I'm trying to bring you back. The Baron's trying to bring you back right now.

Speaker 49 It's totally believable because, like, thinking that I may have committed suicide three days ago.

Speaker 122 Infinitely plausible.

Speaker 74 You both are dead.

Speaker 4 You just couldn't accept it.

Speaker 10 This whole thing is an exercise of you accepting you're dead and in hell.

Speaker 132 Accepting the inevitable.

Speaker 10 All right, so this card cue, when you talk to Simmy, is that we as the creators will come out

Speaker 51 onto the stage.

Speaker 10 We'll introduce us as like we're the geniuses behind the whole game.

Speaker 10 We are in so in tune with each other that we can do this. Okay.

Speaker 10 And we will come in and we will

Speaker 10 spell the person to move on to the next round. You ready? Get him?

Speaker 114 Yes, I'm ready.

Speaker 52 Nonsense quiz show.

Speaker 24 How does that game show been so fucked up and crooked?

Speaker 103 How does this even make sense?

Speaker 37 What?

Speaker 167 How does it not make sense?

Speaker 145 How are you going to get it wrong?

Speaker 108 He doesn't know what the clue is.

Speaker 167 Okay, okay.

Speaker 99 He doesn't know, but I'm like, well, you're in

Speaker 10 challenging the Baron's integrity?

Speaker 11 If you were chief?

Speaker 79 Never.

Speaker 155 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 172 No, I'm not.

Speaker 10 I mean, I'm not, obviously, I had to give him an easy one, though, because you need to get it wrong.

Speaker 30 I want him to get it right.

Speaker 29 Okay. We're ruining for you.

Speaker 61 Spoon.

Speaker 151 Spoon.

Speaker 102 Spoon.

Speaker 64 Bat.

Speaker 64 Bat.

Speaker 10 Spoon. Opposite of spoon.

Speaker 172 It's fork.

Speaker 10 Yeah, and it's a Halloween-themed word.

Speaker 46 Even I got this one already.

Speaker 157 I mean, what the fuck?

Speaker 10 Well, it has to be easy. It has to be.
He has to get it right.

Speaker 50 I can't believe he hasn't gotten it yet.

Speaker 10 Opposite of bat.

Speaker 162 Opposite of bat.

Speaker 131 He's the bat to hit the ball.

Speaker 131 So.

Speaker 10 If you're the batter.

Speaker 131 The opposite opposite would be the pitchfork.

Speaker 106 Yeah!

Speaker 70 That one we don't get.

Speaker 114 That counts towards you.

Speaker 11 We're giving Jackson the opposite of.

Speaker 10 But you were, but you guys still are not. I don't think you guys are really concentrating on that.

Speaker 135 We got to stare into each other's eyes a little bit more.

Speaker 98 It does help.

Speaker 83 He sounded like a fucking banther.

Speaker 37 He was like, woo!

Speaker 10 Come on, that's exciting. Maybe imagine on TV.

Speaker 52 Yeah, you two coming out.

Speaker 82 They're like, and now the faces of dyslexia, ladies and gentlemen,

Speaker 82 wanting this outfit with a top hat.

Speaker 49 Get them looking like they just fished him out of a homeless mission.

Speaker 115 We pulled this gentleman out of the soup line.

Speaker 10 That's how geniuses look, though. They don't fucking, you see Albert Einstein? He looked like a fucking GQ model.

Speaker 82 Yeah, I also see Bill Gates.

Speaker 11 Oh, you don't fuck with crazy hair.

Speaker 10 You don't look fuckable either.

Speaker 11 I'm not.

Speaker 14 His bank account looks very fuckable.

Speaker 10 Yeah, but at that bank account, he's fucking get him.

Speaker 29 Come on.

Speaker 70 All right. All right.

Speaker 29 All right.

Speaker 103 Yeah, he's me.

Speaker 69 All right.

Speaker 29 Okay, ready?

Speaker 102 Yeah.

Speaker 131 Stranger siphon.

Speaker 8 Stranger siphon.

Speaker 12 It was a hard one.

Speaker 14 Opposite of a stranger is a friend.

Speaker 53 What's this?

Speaker 30 It's the fucking opposite of a siphon.

Speaker 84 A pump?

Speaker 113 A pump friend?

Speaker 68 That's what Mike calls me.

Speaker 10 Pump friends with beneficial.

Speaker 108 Come on, you fuckers.

Speaker 10 You got it.

Speaker 108 It's right there.

Speaker 167 You got it.

Speaker 154 Oh, pumpkin?

Speaker 10 Opposite of a stranger is what?

Speaker 14 Is kin.

Speaker 11 Pumpkin. Yeah.

Speaker 154 I mean, I think that's correct.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 52 How scared are you to make eye contact with either of them?

Speaker 62 Thank God you have beautiful blue eyes, bro, because I'm just lost in them.

Speaker 10 All right. There is only

Speaker 38 one more left.

Speaker 29 Siphon.

Speaker 14 Giddam came up with that one, didn't he?

Speaker 53 Siphon.

Speaker 79 Yeah. Ready?

Speaker 84 Good.

Speaker 131 Overdose, false. Overdose, fault.

Speaker 60 Okay, so we can assume the one is empty.

Speaker 18 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 14 First word, empty, Brian.

Speaker 54 What's the opposite of overdose?

Speaker 25 He overdosed.

Speaker 105 He underdosed?

Speaker 105 No.

Speaker 10 We're on a time limit here, boys.

Speaker 58 Okay, now you're talking about the time.

Speaker 62 But if you just give us 10 more seconds,

Speaker 10 you aren't going to get it in 10 seconds. Now, in the last round here.
Well, what's the word?

Speaker 10 Tell me what the word was.

Speaker 73 Halloween.

Speaker 29 The opposite of full is not hollow.

Speaker 70 Yes. It's

Speaker 64 hollow. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Wait, so what's the opposite of overdose? Wean.

Speaker 10 You wean. You wean somebody off somebody.

Speaker 14 Which is W-E-A-N.

Speaker 10 Yeah, but it's still phonetically, it's still right.

Speaker 66 I don't know if that's the opposite of overdose.

Speaker 93 You wean someone off someone slow.

Speaker 150 100%.

Speaker 10 Or if you give them too much, you OD.

Speaker 29 As someone who is overdosed.

Speaker 165 And as someone who has weaned, I never saw them as the opposite.

Speaker 118 Yeah.

Speaker 70 All right.

Speaker 52 I mean, I would say cold turkey versus weaned.

Speaker 10 That was the last one. So you have to get this one right.
Now you can choose

Speaker 10 since all the new wrinkles have been put out there.

Speaker 10 Call dyslexic, listen to that's going to tame it song backwards, or have the creators play. It's your choice to get the final one right.
Which would you rather?

Speaker 124 What do you like?

Speaker 10 What do you like out of those choices?

Speaker 14 There's not that many Halloween songs.

Speaker 143 No.

Speaker 34 But the creators, I mean,

Speaker 165 I do have a lot of confidence in them.

Speaker 53 All right, we want to throw to the creators.

Speaker 29 Ask the creators.

Speaker 14 Ask the creators.

Speaker 10 Now, this is a lot of pressure.

Speaker 10 This is the last one.

Speaker 117 Where are we still?

Speaker 29 We're in the third one though.

Speaker 10 After that, it's quick. This is definitely the longest and most brutal ring of hell.
That's why it's Glutton, Glutton for Punishment.

Speaker 10 I knew this one would be the one that you guys would have the most problems with. Fun with.

Speaker 93 Well, fun or, you know, all right, you ready?

Speaker 10 Get him, I am.

Speaker 67 Yes, I am.

Speaker 111 All right.

Speaker 118 Hollow.

Speaker 18 I still don't get John in the middle.

Speaker 29 By the way, see, it's not Halloween, it's Halloween. Phonetics.

Speaker 29 Yes. All right.

Speaker 116 If you mispronounce it,

Speaker 11 you mispronounce both words.

Speaker 152 If you guess something that's not the opposite of what it is, and then also mispronounce it, you'll come on.

Speaker 4 You're on the right track.

Speaker 29 You laugh.

Speaker 167 He's getting annoyed.

Speaker 37 He doesn't like to.

Speaker 10 Yeah, because you fuckers laugh, and I've given you fucking, like I said, man, I fucking set it up on a tee, and you guys are still not fucking thinking hard.

Speaker 132 They get it right, they're high five, and they get it wrong.

Speaker 127 Oh, and it's that now it's a problem.

Speaker 167 But we tell them, kid right out the bat, it's Halloween-centric.

Speaker 10 There's only so many Halloween-centric words, and they still fucking can't fucking get it through their fucking trick skulls.

Speaker 78 If it's not, whatever they're thinking about has to be Halloween.

Speaker 103 I know one who's on his side is getting him.

Speaker 29 He still doesn't think he's wrong.

Speaker 169 Somebody tell me everything's upright.

Speaker 29 Tomorrow at work, he'll be like, you didn't believe those guys last night.

Speaker 69 Idiots.

Speaker 10 But you have to admit, you guys still are reluctant to put it through a prism of Halloween words.

Speaker 29 No, I'm trying,

Speaker 16 you know.

Speaker 10 Okay,

Speaker 10 what's the most popular in Halloween?

Speaker 8 But Halloween.

Speaker 10 Trick-or-treat. How could you guys not have gone through the database of trick-or-treat?

Speaker 14 I'll give you you that, but the opposite of

Speaker 13 full institution.

Speaker 170 Well, hallow's a word.

Speaker 10 But Halloween is the. If Halloween's not the most important word in Halloween, what is?

Speaker 14 Holy shit.

Speaker 148 Right, but you're not saying hallow, you're saying hollow.

Speaker 10 So in your head, though, a process of elimination, but it hasn't asked to be for Halloween yet.

Speaker 14 But I'm looking for the opposite of full, which isn't hallow.

Speaker 10 And you're like, oh, full, empty. What's another word?

Speaker 170 Empty, hollow, hollow, Halloween.

Speaker 24 I'm just looking for the opposite of overdose, not being wean.

Speaker 10 What's the opposite of of wean?

Speaker 165 It would be cold turkey.

Speaker 10 It's two words. Can't use it.
Yeah.

Speaker 29 Well, then you can't use it.

Speaker 37 These are air rolls, not mine.

Speaker 10 I mean, I can fucking tell you a sentence.

Speaker 10 Do you need a sentence?

Speaker 137 You need a sentence for two words?

Speaker 70 But it's also the wrong word of wean.

Speaker 74 It's not even the right word.

Speaker 10 Yes, it is. What is the option? If you wean someone off something, you do it slow.
But I'll wean it. If you give them too much, you've been giving them an overdose.

Speaker 66 So it's

Speaker 66 no, they're right.

Speaker 53 You're right.

Speaker 103 You're right.

Speaker 4 I'm glad glad we went to the creators for this next one.

Speaker 29 Because I've never seen people so cockshore

Speaker 29 about anything.

Speaker 77 Let's see where the nerves get on.

Speaker 29 Yeah, you could blow it, guys.

Speaker 68 You could leave us in the gluttony.

Speaker 112 Bro, this is a terrible ring to be in.

Speaker 29 I'd rather be there with Giddam jerking on.

Speaker 10 All right, get him.

Speaker 142 Come on, we gotta move this along.

Speaker 93 All right, you ready?

Speaker 10 Yep. Two words, Halloween-centric.
Two words. Look at me.

Speaker 14 Look me in the eyes when I fuck you.

Speaker 40 It's like, I don't like to see the face.

Speaker 10 Artificial.

Speaker 102 Artificial.

Speaker 10 Weak.

Speaker 10 Weak. Artificial.
Weak.

Speaker 10 What's the opposite of artificial?

Speaker 129 Artificial would be natural.

Speaker 93 And weak. You got the first one.

Speaker 10 And that is not bullshit. He just got the first one.
Artificial is natural. What's the weak?

Speaker 131 If you're not weak, you're strong, you're powerful.

Speaker 37 You're

Speaker 10 you could be strong, but it's not strong.

Speaker 131 You're like Superman.

Speaker 10 You're

Speaker 164 supernatural.

Speaker 10 Your guys are moving on.

Speaker 37 Ah,

Speaker 70 nice.

Speaker 14 You know what? I'll take it.

Speaker 30 Thank you. Thank you, Giddam.

Speaker 14 Wow. Supernatural.

Speaker 10 But it was also a Halloween word. I don't know why it took you so long.

Speaker 98 I was nervous.

Speaker 116 Cynicism begins.

Speaker 50 I was nervous.

Speaker 10 I mean, it is fucking one of the only words left. Two words left at Matt's Halloween.

Speaker 103 I was a little nervous.

Speaker 131 These guys' lives are souls are in my hand.

Speaker 53 All right.

Speaker 74 So we leave. We're out.

Speaker 10 Let's hurry up and get on to the next one. We're going to listen to these clips real quick.
Oh, shit. The next one's fucking

Speaker 10 fucking long, too.

Speaker 141 I didn't think it would take so long.

Speaker 11 Really?

Speaker 76 Yeah, I didn't think it would take long.

Speaker 10 I didn't think it would take that long to get through fucking three.

Speaker 67 All right.

Speaker 135 We thought you had the idea by now.

Speaker 173 All right.

Speaker 48 Welcome, guys. It's me, Mike.

Speaker 175 Welcome to the fourth circle.

Speaker 29 Greed.

Speaker 52 Greed.

Speaker 144 So vile of man's vices.

Speaker 176 I often think of that insightful quote. There is no fire like passion.
There is no shark like hatred. There is no snare like folly.
There is no torrent like greed.

Speaker 176 Okay, let's get on to your task, gentlemen. The task that allows you to move on to the next circle.
It's really very simple.

Speaker 175 Both of you, Brian and Brian, must reveal a moment where you both were at your greediest.

Speaker 10 All right, come on. Yeah, you heard, Mike, as the Lord of greed, you guys got to reveal when you're at your most greediest to get out of this circle.
Quick and easy. No games to play.

Speaker 10 Just got to reveal something you never told anybody.

Speaker 59 Mine is

Speaker 39 because it was never really worth telling.

Speaker 40 By nature, I don't think I'm a very greedy person.

Speaker 17 And I tried to think of some greedy moments, but there was

Speaker 17 when I was down in Florida one time, there's a restaurant in downtown Disney.

Speaker 124 It's like the seafood restaurant.

Speaker 56 And

Speaker 97 this is years ago.

Speaker 49 And I went there to eat.

Speaker 42 And I ordered way more than I should have, but it was so expensive, I was like, I'm not just going to fucking toss this shit.

Speaker 40 So I ate it and ate it and ate it until I was like, I can't eat anymore.

Speaker 34 and still ate more.

Speaker 43 By the time I got out of the restaurant in downtown Disney, I threw up into a garbage can.

Speaker 46 Now, I know that is more like gluttony

Speaker 68 than greed, but I'm really not greedy.

Speaker 60 I can't think, unless you could think of something where I was greedy, but

Speaker 115 not normal. I don't feel like I'm that good.

Speaker 139 No, I mean, I mean,

Speaker 10 that's pretty sad. You've revealed something that's sad.
I think that's a nice, that's tall enough in hell. Like, you revealed on air that you were so

Speaker 10 cheap and hungry.

Speaker 29 I wasn't even hungry.

Speaker 10 I was bare to see food go that you paid for go into garbage.

Speaker 59 Right. If it was somebody else's food, I'd be like, whatever.

Speaker 120 But I'm like, I paid money for this, a fair amount of money.

Speaker 57 And it tastes, it was really good, too.

Speaker 49 That was the other thing. But then, like, as it went on, it didn't taste as good, but I still kept on going.

Speaker 10 So, probably, I mean, most likely when you get to hell,

Speaker 10 that's probably some of the things you'll be partaking in is like having to stuff stuff down your throat, then throw it up.

Speaker 93 Right. Most likely.

Speaker 104 Like shrimp and crabs.

Speaker 10 I was talking more like, you know, demon balls.

Speaker 47 Why?

Speaker 29 That was another menu.

Speaker 52 Why can't I just eat the same thing I was eating in real life?

Speaker 10 Because that's not hell.

Speaker 10 All right, Q, half the toll has been paid.

Speaker 27 Right.

Speaker 10 You have to come now, you have to tell your greediest moment to complete the task.

Speaker 14 This was the only difficult one for me because I, like you, don't consider myself a greedy person.

Speaker 14 But

Speaker 14 I once paid for an abortion in cash, then went back to the doctor's office to get the cash back and put down my credit card so I can get the points on my card for it.

Speaker 14 So I could buy other things with the abortion money. With the points.

Speaker 32 Suddenly, I'm looking like a champ.

Speaker 14 So greedy was I, Walt, that I wanted that procedure money to go towards.

Speaker 10 I want to buy some toys with the

Speaker 14 maximize

Speaker 14 the abortion dollars, Walt. I wanted to maximize

Speaker 14 by using points.

Speaker 163 Jason

Speaker 163 statue.

Speaker 49 So you prefer not to go with every time we come up with a piece of Telum Steve Dave merchandise, you try to price it at least 25% higher than the Walt always agreed to?

Speaker 14 I didn't want to expose that, Brian.

Speaker 55 I thought that would make me unlikable.

Speaker 14 Everybody pays for an abortion or two.

Speaker 46 Now, did you pay for this second abortion with points?

Speaker 26 I had a punch card.

Speaker 53 I was able to get the free one.

Speaker 4 And a sub.

Speaker 10 All right, let's see what Mike has to say.

Speaker 4 Pretty fucked up, man.

Speaker 10 Let's see if Mike is pleased with your story.

Speaker 175 Wow, I can't believe you guys admitted to that level of greed.

Speaker 70 Jesus. That's pretty good, Mike.

Speaker 88 Fucking gross.

Speaker 175 All right, Q and Bride, you guys get to move on.

Speaker 176 I'm pretty sure I'm going to see you, Quinn, but I'm definitely sure I'll see you, Brian.

Speaker 48 Later.

Speaker 137 That was a shot at you.

Speaker 4 I noticed you.

Speaker 52 I was reading into it.

Speaker 29 Wait a second.

Speaker 10 Before we leave the ring of greed, another toll, an extra toll has to be paid. Got to read this ad.

Speaker 10 Now, then play the ad, get him. I mean, Declan, I'm fucking punchy here.

Speaker 10 I don't know if I'm the Baron or myself anymore.

Speaker 100 Walt, every time I show up, it seems that

Speaker 112 Giddim's trying to eat garbage.

Speaker 29 Stacy's putting shit into a fucking garbage bag, and he's like, that's still good. Nice.

Speaker 45 He's like a fucking goat.

Speaker 14 That wax paper stuck between his teeth.

Speaker 85 The tin can is perfectly edible.

Speaker 14 Recycle that in my gut.

Speaker 68 Every time I come in, Q,

Speaker 116 it seems that.

Speaker 30 It seems like Walt has never heard of ZipRecruiter.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 62 Is that what you're about to say?

Speaker 95 You didn't have to hire Giddam just because you didn't know anyone else.

Speaker 59 You could have went to ZipRecruiter, Walt.

Speaker 16 This is for, like,

Speaker 40 let's see.

Speaker 115 This is for with ziprecruiter.com, you post your jobs.

Speaker 100 You're a boss, you got a job.

Speaker 146 You're like, I'm looking for a comic book store clerk.

Speaker 100 And it'll put it automatically onto over a hundred job sites, including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter, with one click.

Speaker 59 Find candidates in any city, industry, nationwide.

Speaker 40 Post once and watch your qualified candidates roll in.

Speaker 95 Yep, no juggling emails or calls to your office and or comic book store.

Speaker 24 You screen candidates.

Speaker 51 It's used by over a million businesses.

Speaker 40 And your listeners can, listeners, if you're a boss, post your jobs on ZipRecruiter for free

Speaker 57 by going toziprecruiter.com/slash T-E-S-D.

Speaker 95 And

Speaker 57 you're going to find the best candidates.

Speaker 95 No child molesters.

Speaker 136 Right.

Speaker 27 No weirdos.

Speaker 85 Right.

Speaker 39 They've been pre-screened.

Speaker 14 Right. You know?

Speaker 30 No

Speaker 14 toothless freaks.

Speaker 26 Right.

Speaker 24 No people that, yeah, like you, like every day it's a new, there's a new problem.

Speaker 112 A new problem.

Speaker 14 You're right. You tell them to do something, they don't do it.

Speaker 40 Their only talent is they can talk backwards.

Speaker 10 I could probably put that on the ZipRecruit file, right?

Speaker 10 Can the candidate speak and think laterally?

Speaker 11 Yes.

Speaker 81 And at the same time, do their job and not search for skeleton keys all day.

Speaker 72 Hey, come on, man. I needed those skeletons.

Speaker 12 He was trying to help me.

Speaker 25 All right. I appreciate that.

Speaker 100 Well, ziprecruiter.com slash T-E-S-T.

Speaker 51 Right now, listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter.

Speaker 30 Oh, post jobs.

Speaker 25 So we need ants that own businesses.

Speaker 14 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 59 I made that mistake, too, when I was on the phone call.

Speaker 34 I had no idea what the thing was until they told me.

Speaker 25 So if you have a job, who do we have out there that we know owns businesses?

Speaker 78 Mike Job. We own a business.

Speaker 89 Yeah, why don't we do that?

Speaker 55 We need to hire anybody?

Speaker 169 What do we need to hire?

Speaker 14 We don't have to hire anybody. We just post that we're hiring someone and then not hire anybody.

Speaker 10 What would be the.

Speaker 143 You'll see our code on there and they'll be like, ooh, the tell him Steve Dave mentions are rolling in.

Speaker 30 But the bike shop, dude.

Speaker 29 Oh, he needs a he needs somebody?

Speaker 105 He's not out of business.

Speaker 143 I don't think so.

Speaker 143 I don't know.

Speaker 14 But he probably needs someone.

Speaker 59 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 57 He always needs somebody to fix a bike.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Some other asshole.

Speaker 61 Code? Yeah.

Speaker 29 Code or anything?

Speaker 105 Yeah. It was

Speaker 14 duty.com/slash T-E-S-T.

Speaker 79 All right.

Speaker 142 Do it.

Speaker 10 All right. All right.
We go to ring five,

Speaker 10 which is all right. and here we go.
This one's going to be easy, too.

Speaker 38 Quick, painless.

Speaker 11 I got three more abortion stories that we can work through for the next ring.

Speaker 9 I'm ready.

Speaker 62 I've got rings four through eight covered.

Speaker 155 You didn't realize how handy those came in.

Speaker 138 Oh, I knew.

Speaker 158 Hello there.

Speaker 177 This is Frank number five. You might remember me from the Tellum Steve Dave episode where I confessed to ruining a carrot cake.

Speaker 177 And I'm I'm also known for skipping out on my family from Thanksgiving to watch Tell and Steve Dave record.

Speaker 29 What are you doing?

Speaker 177 I'm recording for Tell'em Steve Dave for the Halloween episode.

Speaker 178 You're not missing Halloween, are you? Because I'm not handing out candy by myself.

Speaker 177 Alright, keep it up and I'll skip Christmas too.

Speaker 118 What?

Speaker 29 Nothing.

Speaker 164 Nothing.

Speaker 177 Anyway,

Speaker 177 welcome to the Eighth Circle of Hell.

Speaker 48 I'm already here.

Speaker 34 Eight, we're already at at eight.

Speaker 177 Eighth circle of hell.

Speaker 151 Fraud.

Speaker 72 Gentlemen,

Speaker 177 in order to move on to the final circle, one of you must reveal yourselves.

Speaker 11 We just went from five to eight.

Speaker 151 We'll go back.

Speaker 10 All right. We skipped a couple in there between here.
We'll go back and get them. Since we already listened to that one, we'll go right into your fraud stories.

Speaker 86 Fraud.

Speaker 10 You heard Frank number five. He wants to hear a story when you were your

Speaker 10 fraud is you commit the most

Speaker 10 fraud ever.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 10 Who wants to go first?

Speaker 16 Does ordering CDs back in the day under different names count?

Speaker 56 That'd be pretty lame.

Speaker 143 I.

Speaker 10 What, from Columbia House? Yeah, of course.

Speaker 104 Like, who did it do that, right?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I don't think that puts it. But you can do that?

Speaker 134 I mean, you used to be able to.

Speaker 10 I bet you even one of the popes did that.

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 37 He's like,

Speaker 103 check out this loophole

Speaker 52 for only a penny.

Speaker 163 Look at these sick gems I got.

Speaker 59 It was fraudulent, but I mean,

Speaker 28 I didn't see it as a big deal.

Speaker 57 I got

Speaker 41 a job at a car wash going back in the early

Speaker 64 90s.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 42 I got there.

Speaker 146 I worked for an hour.

Speaker 32 And they said somebody was like, all right, who's ready to go for lunch?

Speaker 49 Now, we started at 8 in the morning.

Speaker 95 So it was now 9.

Speaker 94 And they're already sending people for lunch because they had so many people there to wash cars.

Speaker 18 It was a Sunday. Right.

Speaker 10 And so where would you go to lunch?

Speaker 32 I mean, it was the country suds are over Middletown, so I guess you could drive and go get.

Speaker 52 I mean, it would be breakfast technically.

Speaker 41 And within that hour, I already knew, like, there's no fucking way that I'm going to be able to do this.

Speaker 104 So I was like, I'll go.

Speaker 32 And then I just never went back.

Speaker 56 And

Speaker 42 instead, I went and I bought an Asbury Park Press.

Speaker 104 I looked for jobs and I saw that they were hiring for managers at a movie theater.

Speaker 42 So I went and doctored up a resume.

Speaker 10 On your lunch?

Speaker 146 Fake references.

Speaker 75 Oh, no, I never went back to this.

Speaker 10 This would have been your lunch break, though, you did all this.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 42 Doctored up a resume, made fake references, the whole thing, went to the movie theater, handed it in, got a call back, went back for several interviews, pretended I had gone to college, the whole deal, and they hired me as a manager at National Amusements.

Speaker 94 And then, within probably a month, they were like, I don't think he was telling the truth.

Speaker 91 What did you do that led to believing that?

Speaker 32 Because I didn't give a fuck about any of it.

Speaker 40 And, like, because you, at the end of the night, you were supposed to go into like this room and count the candy and all this other shit.

Speaker 17 And I guess they figured I wasn't doing it. I was just like, however many boxes were supposed to be there, I would just write that.

Speaker 40 So they took some boxes out, and I just wrote the number of boxes anyway.

Speaker 40 And eventually they were like, this job isn't for you, is it?

Speaker 23 And I was like, Not really.

Speaker 136 So, yeah, I quit.

Speaker 49 So, yes, I fraudulently

Speaker 95 I got a job with fraudulent credentials.

Speaker 42 It's not like I sold a passport or something.

Speaker 10 Well, I mean, I think that you everybody pads their resume.

Speaker 65 Everybody.

Speaker 115 This was not padding.

Speaker 57 These were places that I never worked.

Speaker 10 Everybody lies in their resume. Everybody.

Speaker 110 Did you lie to get this job done?

Speaker 28 So, yeah, that would be my story of fraud.

Speaker 68 Again, like, yeah, and I'm not really a.

Speaker 23 I wish I had a story about, like, using, like, my niece's name to get into Social Security number to get a credit card.

Speaker 55 It's still good. What are you talking about?

Speaker 10 Don't poo-poo your fraud story.

Speaker 116 I feel like I wasn't fraudulent enough.

Speaker 10 All right, Q?

Speaker 14 It's funny because yours was at the beginning of the job. Mine was at the end of a job at Tech Products, which is a sign company I worked with.

Speaker 14 My buddy and I both wanted to quit at the same time. He quit a week before me.

Speaker 25 and

Speaker 14 when he left, they made a big deal out of the fact that when we got a job there,

Speaker 14 we signed a non-compete

Speaker 14 thing that we couldn't work at a competition.

Speaker 29 At another competitive

Speaker 114 company?

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 67 Well, there were, there were, yeah.

Speaker 14 And apparently, it was like cutthroat competition between the two. So my buddy quit, and he told me how his exiting went.
So one night after the office went down, I went into my

Speaker 14 company personnel file and I took the non-compete clause that I signed and I took it out and I took it home with me and I destroyed it.

Speaker 78 I might even still have it, but I took it out of the file.

Speaker 14 And then when I went to quit, I told the manager that I had an offer for a job

Speaker 14 at the competing company. And he reminded me somewhat angrily that I signed the non-compete.
And I said, show me.

Speaker 25 Show me where.

Speaker 14 And he pulled out the file. He stomped over, pulled out the file.
It wasn't in there. And he said, well, even though I don't have it, you did sign it.
And I said, I never signed it.

Speaker 14 He's like, we'll sue you. And I said, well, we could cut this off right now with

Speaker 12 a little bit of

Speaker 53 a little payola.

Speaker 10 He paid you not to go to work.

Speaker 25 He gave me a,

Speaker 14 what do they call it when you leave a company and you get

Speaker 14 a severance to not go to work at the other company?

Speaker 10 What did he think you were going to do? Fucking reveal his secrets?

Speaker 22 No, there was patents and stuff.

Speaker 14 I don't know what he thought, but

Speaker 24 you were going to bring your fucking unbridled bitterness.

Speaker 74 I think it's about customers.

Speaker 14 Like, you're going to go over

Speaker 14 and call your customers and be like, I'm over here now, and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 131 He signed shit. Here's a better one.

Speaker 70 Yeah.

Speaker 64 Wow.

Speaker 64 So.

Speaker 82 Nice work.

Speaker 10 How much was the severance? It wasn't much.

Speaker 14 It was like $700.

Speaker 78 $700.

Speaker 45 You could buy a website for that.

Speaker 16 To not get a job that you were never going to get in the first place.

Speaker 40 That's right.

Speaker 14 That's right.

Speaker 56 That's pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker 66 That is gross.

Speaker 14 That's company espionage as well.

Speaker 169 Yeah.

Speaker 29 Do you have a non-forcal clause?

Speaker 155 I have a non-disclosure.

Speaker 131 Can I say I have a non-disclosure?

Speaker 10 Yeah, he does have a non-disclosure.

Speaker 30 No, he doesn't. Yes, he does.

Speaker 91 He does.

Speaker 14 You signed a non-disclosure? Yeah.

Speaker 54 That is hysterical. Who made you sign that, Carol?

Speaker 108 Yeah.

Speaker 108 You can't say who made you sign it, Carol.

Speaker 29 She fucking broken.

Speaker 110 You're in breach of your contract.

Speaker 10 All right, let's hear about Frank. What, five? You know why we went from

Speaker 103 because you want to go home?

Speaker 29 No, four

Speaker 29 to eight?

Speaker 10 Because it was Frank five. My eyes got mixed up.

Speaker 10 We'll go back to five.

Speaker 177 Wow. Just wow.
Truly, truly shocking.

Speaker 177 Well, the toll has been paid, and you are free to move on to the ninth and final circle

Speaker 43 after the next two circles.

Speaker 10 All right, so now I gotta go to five, right?

Speaker 90 It's back in

Speaker 98 well, I will be dipped in shit and rolled in breadcrumbs from Johnson and Brian Wynn.

Speaker 29 How are you doing, boys?

Speaker 7 Welcome to the fifth circle of hell. I'm the lord of this land, wrath.
And let me tell you, fellas, they ain't invented a thing yet that I ain't pissed off about.

Speaker 154 I'm angry!

Speaker 7 Hotter than Mean Chin's asshole, slathered Mike Zapzic's homemade hot sauce. It's getting getting worse every day.
I put in a transfer with the boys downstairs to get Elvis brought over.

Speaker 7 You know who they send?

Speaker 108 Ronald fucking Reagan.

Speaker 7 Ever since he showed up, hadn't been able to pull John Wayne's tongue out of his ass.

Speaker 108 Get a goddamn room, you two!

Speaker 7 So if you two sad sack sons of bitches ever want to see another decent movie or use another recreational drug again in your shitty little life, you're going to have to advance to the next circle.

Speaker 7 And to do that, you got to guess the target of my wrath.

Speaker 32 So you don't have to tell a wrathful story.

Speaker 29 No.

Speaker 10 No, you have to guess what he's going to do. He's going to give you three clues to guess what he's angry at.

Speaker 35 Okay.

Speaker 101 All right.

Speaker 10 Do you understand the game? Yeah, I do. Okay, so you got three shots at it.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 114 Is it Halloween related?

Speaker 7 You know how much money I can get for a Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, Brian Quinn, sex tape, and hell.

Speaker 14 Place where people gathered.

Speaker 110 Or gather.

Speaker 10 Need another clue? You got three clues.

Speaker 14 Yeah, we definitely need it.

Speaker 28 That means we may as well take all three.

Speaker 14 What he's mad at.

Speaker 10 I have to guess what his target of his wrath is.

Speaker 7 If you dig deep enough into this bottomless pit of despair, you can find an intelligent thought or two.

Speaker 7 And those people are immediately identified, drugged through the streets, burned at the stake, their ashes delivered to their mother, where they're pissed on in front of her so she can feel the pain that the community felt at the hands of those ashes.

Speaker 142 I don't know.

Speaker 9 Is he angry at Twitter or the internet?

Speaker 38 Getting close.

Speaker 7 And the worst thing of all about this goddamn place is the anonymity of it all.

Speaker 55 They write 80,000 words treating not to care about what they're writing about.

Speaker 7 And they say, if you respond, I win. If you don't respond, I win.
Either way, you're left holding the bag, you piece of shit. Love, Danimos, and Dr.

Speaker 55 Halloween.

Speaker 7 I talked to the head beasel boss in charge this morning, and he told me there's a special place in hell for Dr. Halloween and everybody like him.

Speaker 7 And the best episode of Tell Em Steve Dave ever recorded: the Peyton Manning of Potting is playing 24 hours a day, seven days a week, pranked up to 11.

Speaker 10 All right, that was the last clue. What was the target of Maxwell's?

Speaker 54 I said it as a start of it. What?

Speaker 55 Well, you were looking at Brian.

Speaker 67 You were looking at Brian.

Speaker 10 That wasn't a legitimate answer. I see.
You're captive.

Speaker 29 You're gonna have to repeat it.

Speaker 25 Yeah, Reddit, right?

Speaker 110 I would say Reddit, yeah.

Speaker 10 Reddit. Let's see if it was correct.

Speaker 29 Then we move on.

Speaker 7 Well, I guess congratulations are in order, boys. You guessed the target of my wrath? The TESD Cares Reddit page.
What a fucking horror show that place is.

Speaker 7 The TESD Care's Reddit page is what would have happened if Willy Walker would have decided to make everlasting bags of flaming shit instead of gobstoppers.

Speaker 7 Before you boys go, can I get some autographs? I want to sell some shit on eBay. Quinn, would you like to be on an episode of Max?

Speaker 89 Where are you going?

Speaker 7 Hey, where are you going?

Speaker 88 I don't want you to be on my podcast anyway.

Speaker 7 Fucking jerk.

Speaker 70 All right.

Speaker 10 Now, that was five.

Speaker 14 That sounded very personal for me.

Speaker 39 That's why.

Speaker 61 Everything.

Speaker 59 FanDuel. I got to get into this.

Speaker 136 People are winning money, Walt FanDuel.

Speaker 68 Not me.

Speaker 60 One-week fantasy football for cash.

Speaker 35 You know the drill.

Speaker 115 You heard us talk about FanDuel for a while now, and you still haven't tried it?

Speaker 82 Why? Because I think you won't win?

Speaker 40 Because you think winning cash, playing one-week fantasy football seems too good to be true.

Speaker 14 Brian, maybe they think they're no match for those guys who've been playing longer.

Speaker 94 Hey, let's put all their minds at ease.

Speaker 169 Yeah, how so?

Speaker 16 Well, they're always going to get a fair and level playing field.

Speaker 49 There's beginner contests for rookies.

Speaker 54 Are we summoning the Baron again?

Speaker 29 You called and I have come.

Speaker 39 There's custom features.

Speaker 80 You want to go back into hell?

Speaker 10 How about some more dyslexia real quick?

Speaker 14 My fucking spine feels like somebody's replaced them with cement blocks.

Speaker 10 Get them.

Speaker 74 Get them real quick.

Speaker 137 Here we go.

Speaker 47 You guys are amazing. Hold on.

Speaker 10 I got to think of a word. I'm trying to think of one off the cuff.

Speaker 14 Overdose

Speaker 30 empty.

Speaker 155 Full wean?

Speaker 14 Happy overdose empty. That's some deep-level fucking ant shit.

Speaker 54 Like, if an aunt says that to me, if somebody comes up to me on Halloween is happy overdose empty.

Speaker 14 That's amazing.

Speaker 122 It's full.

Speaker 10 What's a code, Ry, for FanDuel?

Speaker 44 FanDuel.

Speaker 10 What would be the opposite of FanDuel, Gabe?

Speaker 45 C-E-S-D.

Speaker 10 What would be the opposite of FanDuel? What's the opposite of a fan? Hater.

Speaker 131 Hater.

Speaker 10 Hater and duel?

Speaker 131 Apology.

Speaker 29 No, a duel.

Speaker 29 Let's just say single.

Speaker 116 One.

Speaker 29 Okay, okay. Single.
All right.

Speaker 10 Hater, single.

Speaker 29 Hater or single.

Speaker 72 Single hater.

Speaker 29 Single hater.

Speaker 32 Single hater, fan duel, yeah.

Speaker 57 That's our code, single hater.

Speaker 49 Try FanDuel now, get up to $50 in free entries.

Speaker 42 New users who deposit will get five free entries, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 17 I mean, you can read all that shit on the website.

Speaker 59 I don't see a Tellum Steve Dave league this week.

Speaker 36 Come on, guys.

Speaker 56 My God.

Speaker 83 It may not be one.

Speaker 14 Yeah, there is. FanDuel.com/slash TESD to play in the TESD league.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 54 There's a $5 entry fee.

Speaker 40 $5, that's it. And how much can you win?

Speaker 32 Like a million.

Speaker 49 So go for it, man.

Speaker 95 Challenge your buddies in a private league.

Speaker 47 Ooh, private leagues. That's what I like.

Speaker 10 This one could anger you.

Speaker 99 And I'm kind of.

Speaker 10 I don't know if everybody in this room wants to hear this one.

Speaker 29 Oh, boy.

Speaker 10 Yeah. I didn't know it was going to go this way.

Speaker 10 All the ringmasters are left to their own devices to say what they wanted to say.

Speaker 131 Should I call the University of Florida?

Speaker 10 What are you doing here? Fucking. Aren't you supposed to be in two, lust?

Speaker 64 Why are you.

Speaker 116 Shut up.

Speaker 10 This one, this one, we went off the rails a little bit.

Speaker 172 All right.

Speaker 172 Can't wait.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 I don't know. I did not know.
I thought.

Speaker 46 I get a feeling that

Speaker 100 roasting is going to be appropriate here.

Speaker 10 I just want to be upfront.

Speaker 10 This was not productive. This was sanctioned by the Baron? The Baron said, do what you will, and just send me the file, and I'll play it.

Speaker 77 All right.

Speaker 10 So this is where we're in Ring Six.

Speaker 151 Okay.

Speaker 10 And you guys.

Speaker 49 I'm sure it has to be Envy, right?

Speaker 116 Ring six?

Speaker 70 Well, well, well.

Speaker 73 It's the two Brians from Tellim Steam, Dave. Welcome to the Six Ring of Hell.
Heresy, bitches. What's up? It's your old pal, Roastmaster Chris Ledondo.

Speaker 73 And what the fuck is up with the Six Ring of Hell? I think maybe after the Roast appearance I can be maybe bumped up to three.

Speaker 73 Anything? Even when I fucking win, I lose.

Speaker 73 Anyway, I mean it could be worse. I guess I could be in the ISL comics ring.
It's okay guys, you don't have to hold hands here. Nobody'll hurt you.
Alright guys, I guess you know the drill by now.

Speaker 73 I gotta read you some kind of task for you to get through this ring.

Speaker 73 But I'm gonna ask Stacey Bottella to hand me the scroll so I can read that task. Stacy, would you mind?

Speaker 90 Thanks.

Speaker 73 Oh, wait, you got something on your face. My dick.

Speaker 13 Boom!

Speaker 26 It's a roast.

Speaker 73 Alright, guys, here's the task: you have to answer three out of four trivia questions correctly

Speaker 125 on this classic armory.

Speaker 73 And it says

Speaker 73 the Exorcist II the Heretic. Uh, the Exorcist II, the Heretic.

Speaker 73 That movie was fucking terrible.

Speaker 73 Even the fucking movie they give me is fucking shit.

Speaker 73 Alright, you ready, Jerkoff?

Speaker 114 Alright, boys. I don't understand what's going on.

Speaker 115 We're getting asked trivia questions?

Speaker 10 Yeah, you guys are getting multiple choice questions.

Speaker 14 About Exorcist 2.

Speaker 29 The heretic. The heretic.

Speaker 70 Oh, my God.

Speaker 117 Which should be be easy to say.

Speaker 10 Multiple choice.

Speaker 49 80% of the footage was from the Exorcist.

Speaker 10 Now, the only reason that, just to give an explanation to you and the listeners,

Speaker 150 heresy.

Speaker 10 That we're in the ring of heresy. I didn't even know what to do about it.
So I was like, well, heretic sounds like heresy. So I was like, we'll come up with a trivia question about the heretic.

Speaker 61 So brilliant.

Speaker 29 One of the least popular secrets of all time.

Speaker 25 But why is he taking on this fucking bargain basement Rodney Dangerfield

Speaker 85 fucking like I don't respect at all?

Speaker 174 And why is he going at the Stacey?

Speaker 61 Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 29 I just will say.

Speaker 148 He's the nicest person most people have ever met in their entire lives.

Speaker 10 I'll say that's not the only one.

Speaker 81 I literally could not say a bad word about her.

Speaker 83 He's like, oh, it's my dick.

Speaker 103 Hey, it's a roast.

Speaker 170 He's married with a daughter.

Speaker 103 He recorded that with his wife and fucking child in the next earshot.

Speaker 10 It gets worse, too.

Speaker 61 I don't understand it.

Speaker 115 He can't even just ask straight trivia questions.

Speaker 10 No, he does.

Speaker 10 Let's just get through it.

Speaker 141 All right.

Speaker 10 I did find it strange, and I was hoping that you would have to go.

Speaker 103 Stacy wouldn't come up there.

Speaker 10 Because I was like, well, that could be awkward if he brings Stacy, but hey.

Speaker 98 Here she is.

Speaker 141 We're in hell.

Speaker 10 You wanted to bring her with you, Q. You took the chances.
I told you you were going into hell tonight.

Speaker 85 Now you got Ghost Pussy's dick all over you.

Speaker 103 Case you got some on your face there.

Speaker 29 All right.

Speaker 10 Question one.

Speaker 166 All right.

Speaker 73 Let's begin. What uncredited, Different Strokes child star was in the film? Data Plato, Gary Coleman, or Todd Bridges?

Speaker 10 Now you both get to answer. So I would choose different answers.

Speaker 37 Okay. You don't know.

Speaker 84 All right, yeah.

Speaker 45 I mean, what are we?

Speaker 4 garden circle?

Speaker 10 Well, I saw your dyslexia gameplay, and I'm a little worried.

Speaker 72 I actually think it was Dana Plato.

Speaker 29 As why,

Speaker 154 but

Speaker 11 going by the advice of the parry,

Speaker 10 I just want to see you guys get this right.

Speaker 49 I feel like

Speaker 94 there was no place for Gary Coleman.

Speaker 16 I think it was Dana Plato, but I'll just say Todd Bridges.

Speaker 45 Right. Okay.

Speaker 10 You're going to say Dana Plato. Yes.
You're going to say Todd Bridges. Yes.
BQ. You just saved Brian's soul.
Wow.

Speaker 37 All right, well, thanks.

Speaker 10 It was Dana Plato.

Speaker 37 All right, great.

Speaker 10 All right, so you got that one right. You got to get these all right.
There's only three of them.

Speaker 16 What you talking about, Lucifer?

Speaker 73 According to the Golden Turkey Awards, an academy that rates the world's worst films, Exorcist 2, The Heretic, is number 1, 2, or 3 on their all-time worst movie list.

Speaker 14 He didn't give the answer.

Speaker 10 Which number is it? 1, 2, or 3?

Speaker 12 Oh, so we got got that one right, I see.

Speaker 10 Oh, you didn't get it right. You got to tell me what number it is.
No, the first one we got. Oh, yes, you did get it right.
Yes.

Speaker 101 It was Dana Plato.

Speaker 14 I thought he had a wise-ass comment and something to say about Stacy.

Speaker 10 That's common, Killer.

Speaker 29 Don't worry. You're in Al.

Speaker 59 I'm going to stuff Stacy Patella like a turkey and then giving her a golden shower.

Speaker 37 This is unbelievable.

Speaker 10 I don't think in his defense, I don't imagine he thought that she would be in the room listening to it.

Speaker 174 But it's just a weird choice, anyway.

Speaker 10 Well, I mean, he's definitely in roast mode. Right, all right.

Speaker 29 He's the roastmaster.

Speaker 68 He's unseated me.

Speaker 29 I've been overthrown.

Speaker 61 I've been deposed.

Speaker 10 So, well, according to the Golden Turkey Academy, what ranking is the Exorcist 2 that?

Speaker 86 Well, I know it's not number one.

Speaker 19 So if you guess two and I guess three, then...

Speaker 53 Well, I don't know it's not number one, but I think that number one is

Speaker 14 something else.

Speaker 47 It can't be.

Speaker 54 Yeah, so I'm going to say three.

Speaker 158 I'll say two.

Speaker 10 You make a good team. You just saved his soul.
Nice.

Speaker 54 Number two.

Speaker 14 Nice, buddy. What was number one?

Speaker 29 Do you know?

Speaker 10 Plan nine is still listed as number one.

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 10 All right.

Speaker 65 We're a solid team.

Speaker 62 I mean, do we always have no dyslexia team?

Speaker 29 No.

Speaker 10 Don't fucking pat yourselves on the back, too.

Speaker 98 We're not going through.

Speaker 10 Our guys are taking, you're eliminating one answer.

Speaker 69 Okay.

Speaker 10 We again are fucking going inside deep into each other's cranium.

Speaker 29 You're right.

Speaker 10 You're fucking pulling shit out that no one can pull out. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 14 You're absolutely right. We apologize.

Speaker 73 Question three.

Speaker 73 Exorcist 2, The Heretic, was released in 1976, 1977, or 1979.

Speaker 10 76, 77, or 79.

Speaker 14 Well, the Exorcist was 76, right?

Speaker 23 I thought it was like 72 or 76.

Speaker 47 Oh, really?

Speaker 10 I think it might even be 72.

Speaker 114 Oh, you said 76.

Speaker 14 You're going to have to save our souls on this one, buddy.

Speaker 10 Well, you at least should answer, though.

Speaker 14 Yeah, well, whatever he picks, I'll pick something else.

Speaker 10 76, 77, or 79.

Speaker 14 Was it that bad, Exodus 2?

Speaker 29 It's unwatchable.

Speaker 74 It's terrible.

Speaker 22 Really?

Speaker 14 Are any of the major characters back from it?

Speaker 29 Linda Blair.

Speaker 22 Oh, Linda Blair's back?

Speaker 14 Is she possessed again?

Speaker 10 No, they try to explain it as it wasn't a demonic. So they kind of try to take all the juice that was in the first one.

Speaker 165 And they rely on a lot of footage from the first one.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 21 All right.

Speaker 124 I mean, this is just a wild guess.

Speaker 17 I would say

Speaker 57 I would say 76.

Speaker 14 I'm going to then then say

Speaker 14 77.

Speaker 89 Good.

Speaker 10 Because 77 is the right answer.

Speaker 67 All right.

Speaker 70 Thank you.

Speaker 29 Thank you for saving myself.

Speaker 110 I'm going to save salsa on your

Speaker 117 head right there.

Speaker 10 Oh, shit. Last question.

Speaker 73 Fourth question.

Speaker 73 Texas 2 grossed $3 million, $30 million, or $300 million.

Speaker 14 Definitely not $300 million.

Speaker 10 You can eliminate that one then, can you?

Speaker 14 Yes.

Speaker 25 So I'm going to say $3 million.

Speaker 49 All right. And I'll say 30.

Speaker 10 You guys are a team.

Speaker 10 When he fucking falters, you pick him up.

Speaker 62 I can't believe it. I've made 30 million

Speaker 18 footprints in the sand, man.

Speaker 60 I'm carrying him.

Speaker 51 And then when you see tractor prints in the sand, that's when he's carrying me with a backup.

Speaker 11 Me on ATV.

Speaker 10 Let's see what Chris has to say before we move on.

Speaker 107 Unless we want to skip it.

Speaker 141 Do you want to skip it?

Speaker 92 Oh, no, we have to hear it.

Speaker 107 Are you sure?

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 10 we can have Declan just do it for now.

Speaker 99 No, no, no, we got to hear it. You are sure you're going to do this?

Speaker 13 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 61 You all right with this?

Speaker 37 I feel horrible.

Speaker 61 I had nothing to do with this.

Speaker 29 It's such a bizarre choice

Speaker 11 to do it.

Speaker 10 I'm going to leave the room for this one.

Speaker 10 It's going to get uncomfortable.

Speaker 83 Is it that bad?

Speaker 105 It's kind of rough. He's in roast mode.

Speaker 103 Yeah.

Speaker 73 Well, when isn't he? All right, guys. Congratulations on getting through the sixth ring of hell.
And while I haven't yet, I guess it's confession time.

Speaker 34 Quinn,

Speaker 73 sometimes when you're on the road, I bang Stacey Patella on your couch.

Speaker 73 And I usually wipe the cum off with Benjamin Cat.

Speaker 73 That's a lie. I'm only kidding.
It's with Suzanne's face.

Speaker 29 Oh, fuck you.

Speaker 73 And, guys, if you see Walt, tell him we know he fucks. Get him, Steve Dave, at five o'clock.

Speaker 166 All right.

Speaker 73 I mean, just

Speaker 29 it's just tell him.

Speaker 73 It's five o'clock. The door is locked, and my cock is out.

Speaker 126 Peace assholes.

Speaker 61 Wow.

Speaker 10 Do you guys talk to Chris? Do you talk to Chris on a regular basis?

Speaker 93 I'm a little worried about him.

Speaker 74 It's just Locker. I haven't talked to him in a while.

Speaker 103 It's Locker talking.

Speaker 61 He is like,

Speaker 3 you know how, like, the, like, the, the new, like, the new liberal is the old, like, Republican in terms of, like, anger and just,

Speaker 138 like,

Speaker 61 he is,

Speaker 39 like, you see him on Twitter.

Speaker 20 He's angry about everything.

Speaker 16 There's nothing that can come up that he is not pissy about, whether it's

Speaker 17 Trump or a cop shooting somebody or this or that.

Speaker 43 Like he's got an opinion on everything and it's always expressed with rage.

Speaker 80 You guys should get along.

Speaker 10 If you guys were a little bit,

Speaker 10 if he's a little bit more right-wing-leaning, you guys would be best friends, maybe.

Speaker 49 Yeah, he's too lefty for me.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 61 And plus,

Speaker 49 I like Stacey a lot.

Speaker 10 What about him fucking saying that me and Kim were fucking?

Speaker 135 That bothered me, Chicken.

Speaker 37 That's uncalled for.

Speaker 10 And we don't fucking close the door and lock it at five o'clock.

Speaker 83 It's at six. It's at six.

Speaker 169 No.

Speaker 154 And then we go home.

Speaker 37 No cocks.

Speaker 49 I mean, and if you want to truly roast you guys, the cock wouldn't be out.

Speaker 57 Like,

Speaker 57 he's saying the cock's out of the pants or the cock's out of your ass.

Speaker 23 I wasn't sure about that.

Speaker 10 It's hard to decipher

Speaker 10 what he was.

Speaker 24 Did he get down to your Percocet by any chance?

Speaker 75 I will say this.

Speaker 14 He must be punished. And I think the only way that we can punish him is by having another roast and not inviting him.

Speaker 56 Betty's in the Red Bank fucking clock tower.

Speaker 14 Isn't your birthday coming in December? Yep. I mean, we just do another one and we just don't invite them.

Speaker 131 We're telling him there's a roast and he's the only one that shows up.

Speaker 70 Oh, man.

Speaker 54 No, that wouldn't bother him as much as another one coming out and him not being able to do it.

Speaker 29 I don't have enough material for everyone.

Speaker 137 All right, so

Speaker 10 again, I want to say I told him just that he could say whatever he wanted

Speaker 10 and

Speaker 10 I did not be like, you know, take some shots at anybody, including myself. Right.

Speaker 29 But,

Speaker 10 you know.

Speaker 115 And it was weird how he sort of trailed off at the end.

Speaker 18 He's like, just tell him.

Speaker 10 He was tired, sadly.

Speaker 16 Yeah, he put all his fire and passion into that mask.

Speaker 103 I mean, what if somebody talked about his daughter that way?

Speaker 148 It's horrible, this way to speak about women.

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Even in my fucking horrible greed story, I'm still pro-choice.

Speaker 103 I'm still standing up for women's rights. I just want my cut on it.
That's all.

Speaker 10 All right, we're going on to ring seven.

Speaker 75 I do like how Walt's like, well, what about what he said about me and get him?

Speaker 103 Not like,

Speaker 75 what do you said about Suzanne?

Speaker 106 That's what I thought he was going to say.

Speaker 79 He knows.

Speaker 52 He knows I'll defend his honor first.

Speaker 167 I knew.

Speaker 76 I knew that it wasn't going to move your dial.

Speaker 4 I knew it wasn't. The needle was steady.

Speaker 74 Yeah, the needle was going to stay exactly where it was.

Speaker 108 I knew that.

Speaker 117 I'm going to hear about that Link Troy sent me.

Speaker 14 Wife says, dick on my cat.

Speaker 10 Well, all all kidding aside, though, let's move on.

Speaker 55 All right, ready?

Speaker 10 Next to last ring, boys.

Speaker 68 You're doing good, Q.

Speaker 11 Well, we're almost a heaven.

Speaker 180 How's everyone doing? That's right, it's me, Sunday Joe.

Speaker 135 Welcome to ring number eight, violence.

Speaker 180 Horror movies, especially ultra-violent horror movies, are definitely a hit here in hell.

Speaker 70 Wait, who would have thought that, right?

Speaker 180 And you know, if I'm in charge, we got Simple Dwarf playing on a loop as well as women in prison marathons on the weekend.

Speaker 180 What film series really gets everyone fluttering around down here is a certain series that was banned in 40 countries. That's right.
I'm talking Faces of Death, son.

Speaker 180 Now to get to the final ring, you are going to have to tell me if a mondo violence scene I described to you from the infamous six installment film series Faces of Death was really in one of the six films.

Speaker 180 And you must answer three out of five questions right to advance.

Speaker 89 Understand?

Speaker 169 Yeah, but he's ring eight.

Speaker 10 Actually, he fucked up many times in this.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 66 He was ring five, he was ring eight.

Speaker 149 Yeah, he actually.

Speaker 66 But he's ring seven.

Speaker 10 Yeah, he got his numbers mixed up. But actually, it's all detouring all over hell.

Speaker 10 It's all serendipitous. It's almost like he knew he was going to be played next to last.

Speaker 10 As if we really had this fucking worked out right, right?

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 83 I mean, you've been getting worked on this for a long time.

Speaker 63 But I wasn't looking for keys. I was working on this.

Speaker 10 No, actually, when I fucking demanded you fucking stay and work on this.

Speaker 48 You should have heard the key argument last week.

Speaker 67 Yeah,

Speaker 48 I think people are less argumentative at key parties

Speaker 4 than these guys

Speaker 11 were about. I gotta listen to it.

Speaker 14 What was the gist of the argument?

Speaker 81 That Giddam

Speaker 49 dropped everything he was doing during work hours to go out and search

Speaker 28 during work hours, though, like not even on his lunch break.

Speaker 100 And then went down because some fucking guy who died years ago used to have a barrel of keys.

Speaker 16 And then he further investigated where this barrel ended up.

Speaker 34 It became a whole thing.

Speaker 14 Did you find the barrel? No.

Speaker 49 Oh, damn.

Speaker 34 Ultimately, he failed, which, you know, added insult to injury.

Speaker 10 Oh, shit, that's Tucker. He thought I was calling him back.

Speaker 10 Oh, he must have been waiting this whole time. I feel so bad.

Speaker 117 Well, he's dyslexic, man.

Speaker 29 I'll tell you what.

Speaker 29 We're not calling him back.

Speaker 14 If somebody can, before the end of the year, get me a complete set of those Corbin skeleton keys, Q-Series, I'll give them one of my vinyl cast 2s signed

Speaker 14 at least five people who are on it.

Speaker 56 Not you, LaDondo.

Speaker 14 Not La Dono.

Speaker 155 Wait, he was on it.

Speaker 14 So that's for you guys out there.

Speaker 146 An ultra-rare Stacey Patella.

Speaker 14 I'll get Stacey Patello to sign it if she's not fucking sucking Chris Ladano's dick. Yeah.

Speaker 110 Or taking care of Benjamin Cass, scrubbing out his coat.

Speaker 10 That was Tucker. He says

Speaker 10 he was happy happy to do it. He had a ball, and he would be more than willing to ever do it again if we ever need him.
He's on board. He's our guy.

Speaker 26 He's our excuse.

Speaker 10 He gives us a reason to continue on.

Speaker 14 How did he write it if he's dyslexic?

Speaker 33 Is it.

Speaker 58 Autocorrect. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay. Got it.

Speaker 14 Autocorrect writes backwards to forwards?

Speaker 4 He learns.

Speaker 40 He's just got a special phone.

Speaker 10 Okay, Todd, do you understand in this ring what you guys are doing? Jeff is going to describe to you a scene of a Mondo violence scene.

Speaker 14 You have to decide if it was really in the faces of death film series right or if he made it up now I have an advantage here because I've watched those series many times in my life you've watched all six installments I've watched all six I watch as they get more ridiculous and fake as they go along

Speaker 10 so I'm I mean it's probably been a decade since I've seen them but I used to watch them fairly regularly you know what though I mean if you can use That skill to your advantage in hell,

Speaker 14 good on you. I think I'm on this.

Speaker 79 I think we got this, Brian.

Speaker 10 All right.

Speaker 57 I feel good about myself a little bit that I would say I haven't seen them in 30 years, not 10 years.

Speaker 29 That's weird that you're watching them series.

Speaker 3 Fuck, man.

Speaker 14 Maybe 15 years.

Speaker 10 You ready for the first clue? Remember, you got to get three out of six right. Yes.
So if you get three right, you move on. You don't have to.
Well, it's not a clue.

Speaker 14 He's just telling us a scene, right?

Speaker 10 Yeah, and you're like, you have to tell me. In it or not.
That was in the series or that was bullshit.

Speaker 61 That didn't happen.

Speaker 180 Footage of a Mexican circus where a tightrope performer slipped from the rope and his neck caught the wire and slit his throat.

Speaker 180 He landed in a safety net and bled out squirming around in front of a live crowd till his body stopped moving.

Speaker 14 That was in it.

Speaker 148 That was in it?

Speaker 117 I defer to you.

Speaker 14 I remember the net, not the fall.

Speaker 94 And I don't remember his neck getting cut either.

Speaker 110 Now, it has been quite a while

Speaker 40 since I saw it.

Speaker 43 I thought that he went through the net or the net broke or something.

Speaker 14 Maybe, because all I'm remembering is a net.

Speaker 125 Yeah,

Speaker 49 if I were to guess, I would. Wow, see, I don't want to fuck this up, though.

Speaker 59 My initial guess is no,

Speaker 28 the scene is in there, but that's not how he died.

Speaker 10 I will tell you this.

Speaker 10 We are not trying to tease you. It either is not or isn't.
There's no like, well, that scene was in here, but this didn't happen.

Speaker 10 There is no salting of the scene.

Speaker 14 So then I'm going to say yes.

Speaker 53 You can say yes?

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 60 Was this one of those things like

Speaker 23 the

Speaker 17 Exorcist 2 heretic thing where he can say yes and I can say no?

Speaker 79 Right?

Speaker 170 Not in this one.

Speaker 10 You guys both have to.

Speaker 79 I think I remember it.

Speaker 76 Okay.

Speaker 44 I'll go with you, Q.

Speaker 10 Yes. So the scene of a Mexican talk

Speaker 10 with Walker falling from the rope, slicing his neck, and dying in the net was in the movie. Yes.

Speaker 10 That did not happen in the Faces of Death series.

Speaker 99 All right, Brian.

Speaker 14 All right. That's all right.

Speaker 54 Don't worry about it.

Speaker 12 My bad. We're going to do it.
My bad, Brian.

Speaker 11 All right.

Speaker 10 Don't worry about it. All right, guys.
Okay, you're allowed to miss three. Okay.

Speaker 180 Footage of a Bangladesh wedding that was interrupted when an escaped zoo elephant came charging through the outdoor reception, killing half of the wedding party as it was all caught on film.

Speaker 10 An elephant crashed a wedding

Speaker 10 and trampled some guests.

Speaker 14 Gonna say yes, Brian.

Speaker 34 You're gonna say yes?

Speaker 13 I don't know.

Speaker 14 I'm starting to regret proclaiming myself an expert on the Faces of Death series.

Speaker 31 I regret it already.

Speaker 95 Uber.

Speaker 56 Yes.

Speaker 59 Bangladesh seems so specific, too.

Speaker 14 I don't know.

Speaker 62 Sounds likely, though.

Speaker 100 Then he got

Speaker 43 an escaped zoo elephant.

Speaker 14 But if they're faking shit, which that series is mainly faked,

Speaker 14 that's a lot to fake.

Speaker 10 You're going to need an answer, boys.

Speaker 150 What does Tucker think?

Speaker 10 He can't help you with his skills now.

Speaker 70 Um

Speaker 10 I don't remember. Just give me a

Speaker 10 true or false?

Speaker 12 50-50.

Speaker 12 Right.

Speaker 36 You think you saw it?

Speaker 70 I don't remember it.

Speaker 14 But as we just learned, my mind is playing tricks on me. Yeah.

Speaker 66 You can't do this.

Speaker 10 You can't just sit there like this long.

Speaker 117 Of course we can.

Speaker 80 Come on.

Speaker 57 All right. Sorry, time's up.
Do you want to just go with yes, Q?

Speaker 62 Whatever you think.

Speaker 47 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 18 They got stomped and trampled.

Speaker 10 That scene was not

Speaker 29 in the series. Okay.

Speaker 10 You can only miss one more.

Speaker 29 All right.

Speaker 80 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 10 And you're this close to Ring 9. All right.
Imagine getting this close and not getting it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 52 Because we've got to get the next four right.

Speaker 10 No, you got. Well, no, you don't.

Speaker 89 You can get one more wrong.

Speaker 158 All right.

Speaker 14 We're going to get three out of the next four?

Speaker 180 Footage of a New Guinea tribe that devoured one of their fellow tribesmen's testicular tumor while he screamed in agony.

Speaker 150 I mean, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 105 What?

Speaker 27 It's just, it's impossible to remember any of this.

Speaker 59 Like, I saw this shit when I was in my teens.

Speaker 10 So, why, so maybe you shouldn't agreed at the fucking beginning of the episode when the Baron asked you, Do you still want to go? Now you can't complain about it.

Speaker 10 When I said, Do you want to continue? You're like, Yes.

Speaker 110 Nobody who ever goes to hell is fucking regretful.

Speaker 54 Well, eventually, something's had to have been in these movies, DJ.

Speaker 72 So I might as well just say yes.

Speaker 31 But that sounds weird.

Speaker 124 They're eating his testicular tumor.

Speaker 14 It sounds like exactly the sort of thing they would put in faces of death, though.

Speaker 16 While he's screaming in agony? Yeah.

Speaker 10 Well, he wouldn't be screaming in fucking delirious

Speaker 61 ecstasy, yeah.

Speaker 34 So you want to go with yes, Q?

Speaker 14 I'm going to say, much like Stacey Patella devoured Crystal Dondo's nuts.

Speaker 29 Yes.

Speaker 10 His cancerous nuts?

Speaker 11 Yes, yeah.

Speaker 29 While he screamed in pain.

Speaker 10 So you're going to say that,

Speaker 10 the testicular.

Speaker 137 Something has to be in these movies eventually.

Speaker 21 Unless none of them are all made up.

Speaker 14 Well, that's a trick.

Speaker 61 Right? Well,

Speaker 47 fucking devil's tricky, dude.

Speaker 10 I know. The devil's tricky, and you're not.
So what is the answer? True or false?

Speaker 29 Oh, snap.

Speaker 29 You got us.

Speaker 14 I can barely sit in this chair anymore. Can we just say yes?

Speaker 78 Yeah, we'll see. Say yes to that.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 The natives eating a testicular, cancerous testicle happened.

Speaker 107 Sure.

Speaker 52 I mean, I don't think it did.

Speaker 167 Why are you listening to him? It wasn't in there.

Speaker 10 False. It was not in there.

Speaker 10 You guys got to get the next three right.

Speaker 29 But fucking, none of these are in there.

Speaker 62 I'm just going to say yes to everyone.

Speaker 103 So if none of them are going to be there.

Speaker 11 No, we should start saying no to all of them.

Speaker 14 No, because now comes the switch.

Speaker 10 All right. You guys got to get this one right.

Speaker 10 Or you're stuck. I know.
Well, you know what? If you're going to be stuck in a fucking, in a circle with Sunday Jeff for eternity,

Speaker 64 it's not that bad.

Speaker 10 Imagine you guys stuck with Chris.

Speaker 110 We're watching Sinful Dwarf.

Speaker 29 It's not bad.

Speaker 70 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 180 Footage of a Middle Eastern riot during a funeral procession through the streets where a craze mob ripped the corpse out of the coffin and the body was then torn into bits.

Speaker 10 A Middle Eastern funeral procession. Oh man.
Body was ripped out of the coffin, as they're apt to do. They do it every day, it seems like.

Speaker 52 They did it to the Shah.

Speaker 168 Ayatollah Khamini.

Speaker 59 I'm going to say

Speaker 21 no.

Speaker 10 You're going to say it didn't happen. I say it did not happen.

Speaker 138 I mean, no.

Speaker 36 Q?

Speaker 54 I'll go with him.

Speaker 14 I'll say no.

Speaker 10 False, it did not appear in the series.

Speaker 86 So four for four.

Speaker 14 None appeared in these fucking movies.

Speaker 36 So they just sit there making shit up.

Speaker 102 Who picked this?

Speaker 9 Did he just make these up? Yeah.

Speaker 108 Why?

Speaker 9 Because he didn't fucking put one in that appeared in the movie?

Speaker 141 It's hell.

Speaker 12 That's a good point.

Speaker 74 Can't argue with that.

Speaker 132 You got one of Mink's bootleg versions.

Speaker 125 All right.

Speaker 45 Oh, wait a minute.

Speaker 10 You had to get three out of five right. So there's not a six one.

Speaker 10 So you guys are either I change the rules on the fly and you get this one right and you go on or we end it right here and we're done and we're and you guys are permanently stuck here in hell.

Speaker 121 Well that number

Speaker 74 is meant to be their judgment.

Speaker 14 I don't think we would have been as flippant if we had known that there was only one more left. So I think maybe, yeah, we should have.

Speaker 10 Should the Baron bend the rules?

Speaker 29 I think in the interest of fairness, it's so unusual that this would happen. All right.
This is hell.

Speaker 10 You get this right. You're going to move on to the last circle of hell.

Speaker 112 The answer is no.

Speaker 180 Footage of a televised Brussels badminton match where a player was struck in the neck with a shuttlecock and died from his injuries.

Speaker 10 Did you hear that? Yeah. A badminton match.

Speaker 117 The shuttle cock is the thing that hit her in the third.

Speaker 10 Yeah, the shuttle cock hit the person, player in the throat. It's rounded.
He died.

Speaker 131 It's very heavy in competition.

Speaker 29 It is. Okay.

Speaker 10 Look how cute. And you know how hard they hit that fucking thing? Yeah, it's like.

Speaker 10 It's going going 120. I think

Speaker 10 the fastest clock shuttle cut.

Speaker 74 See, here's the thing.

Speaker 14 Walt's leading us to a yes.

Speaker 14 But Walt typically does that to screw us over. But I think Walt wants to get

Speaker 14 to 9.

Speaker 57 I'm going to say no.

Speaker 53 Really? I was going to say yes. Yeah.

Speaker 127 I know. You said it three times.

Speaker 62 He wants us to say yes.

Speaker 10 He doesn't.

Speaker 57 All right. He wants us to say no.

Speaker 10 Walt doesn't want you to say. Walt wants you to say yes, but the Baron wants you to say Walt.

Speaker 29 Walt is not here.

Speaker 67 Only the Baron is here.

Speaker 49 I would listen to the Baron.

Speaker 10 You should listen to the Baron.

Speaker 29 Yeah. You should listen to him.

Speaker 82 I'd say no.

Speaker 57 Okay, so now.

Speaker 10 Correct. Wow.

Speaker 10 All of the faces at that scenarios were false.

Speaker 110 Sunday Jeff, liar and deceiver.

Speaker 57 He's fucking good.

Speaker 10 Well, let's see. Maybe he's even lying now.
Let's see what he has to say.

Speaker 154 Well done.

Speaker 29 You're both well done. Well done.

Speaker 180 I gotta run. It's cosplays Tuesday here in hell, and me, Ming, Giddam, Chris, Frank Number five, and Mike are doing a mashup of the films Human Centipede and Sallow.

Speaker 180 We definitely are getting first place this week, later.

Speaker 10 Did you ever see Sallow, Kill?

Speaker 10 What's up? Did you ever see Sallow?

Speaker 14 No. I saw Human Centipede, though.

Speaker 49 Yeah, Salo's like this crazy, I think it's Italian, Decadent movie, like people are eating shit, and

Speaker 26 yeah,

Speaker 134 it's gross.

Speaker 10 So they do in hell, though. So

Speaker 10 if you're worried about your soul, you don't want to do that.

Speaker 101 So

Speaker 14 we're going to nine.

Speaker 10 This is it. Final circle.

Speaker 14 So the mercy that Barrow Flanagan gave us might not be mercy at all, because this is hell.

Speaker 125 Right.

Speaker 61 Alright.

Speaker 10 You guys ready for this? Yeah.

Speaker 75 We're ready.

Speaker 123 Welcome to the ninth.

Speaker 5 The final circle of hell.

Speaker 144 Treachery.

Speaker 37 To reveal my identity, you must think of a number.

Speaker 147 Double it.

Speaker 173 Six.

Speaker 139 Divide it in half.

Speaker 144 Subtract the number you started with. And say say the number aloud.

Speaker 50 You need to hear it again? Does it get him again?

Speaker 8 What's with these cell phones at the end?

Speaker 29 Welcome to the ninth final circle of hell.

Speaker 144 Treachery.

Speaker 37 To reveal my identity, you must think of a number.

Speaker 147 Double it.

Speaker 173 Out six.

Speaker 144 Divide in half, subtract the number you started with. And say the number aloud.

Speaker 10 Just pick a number. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 10 Pick a number. What's the number? Five.

Speaker 65 So five. Okay.

Speaker 10 What was their instructions? Double it.

Speaker 16 I think you double it.

Speaker 36 Ten. Ten.

Speaker 54 Add six.

Speaker 26 Sixteen.

Speaker 57 Add six. Sixteen.

Speaker 10 Subtract the number.

Speaker 46 Divide it in half.

Speaker 93 Divide it in half.

Speaker 14 Subtract with the number?

Speaker 10 Subtract the number you started with. Eight, and then start with the number.

Speaker 12 It's three, right?

Speaker 122 Huh?

Speaker 64 Is it frank three?

Speaker 10 Is it no? So what's the number?

Speaker 46 The number would be three.

Speaker 144 That's right.

Speaker 45 It's three.

Speaker 144 Who else, but the third and most glorious of Franks would rule the final circle of hell.

Speaker 144 If you both want to escape hell and return home, the greatest Frank demands you reveal a moment when you committed

Speaker 144 wait for it. Treachery.

Speaker 10 That's right, it was Frank 3. He told you a little riddle like the devil is apt to do.

Speaker 14 Is that always going to end in three?

Speaker 58 It's a little thing? Yeah.

Speaker 29 Oh, wow.

Speaker 10 That will always end in three, that little formula.

Speaker 10 Wow. They call that the devil's riddle.

Speaker 82 Pretty good.

Speaker 116 Do they really? Or did you just say that?

Speaker 79 Because the pitch forecast is free.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 10 to get out of of hell and end the episode, you've got to reveal your most treacherous story.

Speaker 12 How do you feel?

Speaker 168 Oh, I have one that's pretty treacherous.

Speaker 37 Really?

Speaker 81 It's not going to make me look good.

Speaker 10 That's what hell demands.

Speaker 14 Well, I have two possible ones here.

Speaker 49 I also have two possible ones.

Speaker 87 But do we want...

Speaker 14 I mean,

Speaker 14 here's my question for the Baron. Is it treachery towards

Speaker 25 a friend or treachery just...

Speaker 30 Wait a second.

Speaker 10 Where you were the one committing treachery, and you feel now you are going to unburden yourself talking about it, maybe.

Speaker 14 Oh, wait a second. I think I fucked up.
I think I told my treachery story for fraud.

Speaker 49 Yeah, you should at least have one then.

Speaker 10 But that's the one where you fucking snaked $700?

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Well, it works as fraud, too.

Speaker 14 It does, but it was originally treachery.

Speaker 10 You can tell your abortion winning in.

Speaker 14 That wasn't treachery.

Speaker 12 That's women's rights, Walter.

Speaker 14 I firmly stand behind women's rights.

Speaker 155 So you don't have another story?

Speaker 11 No, I have have one, but it's not really that good.

Speaker 110 Well, then definitely tell it before mine.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 132 Before we get the buzzer.

Speaker 142 Yeah, I know he's going to buzz it and get stuck with Frank 3.

Speaker 14 I mean, I've never told anybody this before.

Speaker 10 Oh,

Speaker 10 that's what the Baron's looking for.

Speaker 12 But it's not that good.

Speaker 29 All right.

Speaker 10 Something new.

Speaker 14 But

Speaker 14 my friend Anthony Keck, my friend Keck, was dating this girl, Michelle, for a long time, and

Speaker 12 they broke up.

Speaker 14 and

Speaker 14 it's not a very good story. It's just not a very good story.
Like, I just ended up hooking up with her behind his back for about a month.

Speaker 34 Was he dating her at any point while you were hooking up?

Speaker 112 No.

Speaker 14 But, you know, you know how it is, bros before Holos Day had broken up.

Speaker 14 He found out when he walked around the corner of a school building and saw us making out against the building.

Speaker 56 Was she in high school?

Speaker 12 No,

Speaker 14 it was, we lived near a school.

Speaker 103 A veteran was two weeks ago.

Speaker 14 No, we lived near a school, and it was in the playground of the school, and he caught us.

Speaker 24 Because he happened upon you.

Speaker 10 Why are three adults hanging out in the schoolyard?

Speaker 29 We're not

Speaker 45 to make out.

Speaker 8 No, we were like

Speaker 101 15. Oh, okay, you said.

Speaker 14 15 or 16.

Speaker 107 You didn't.

Speaker 110 I forget it. What, finger hurt?

Speaker 70 I had a.

Speaker 155 Oh, man.

Speaker 14 I have a story about returning a Wii U, but that was more for fraud.

Speaker 12 Oh, man. I fucked up.

Speaker 52 There are so many fraudulent stories.

Speaker 29 I do. I fucked up.

Speaker 10 Maybe Brian could carry you.

Speaker 14 Carry me, buddy, because I'm also in a little bit of a bunch of people.

Speaker 10 Get up on Brian's back.

Speaker 47 Come on.

Speaker 143 I'm going to carry you.

Speaker 44 Come on up.

Speaker 118 I mean, it's going to be.

Speaker 14 I honestly didn't think we'd make it to the ninth circle.

Speaker 10 You wouldn't have, but if I didn't give you answers, yeah, it's true.

Speaker 10 If you didn't get the chance to ask the creators, you would have been stuck.

Speaker 29 We'd be in the second circle.

Speaker 40 Back when I was

Speaker 100 abusing substances,

Speaker 96 I was taking a fair amount of pills per day, and sometimes, like, you know, the person that I got them from wasn't available or whatever.

Speaker 40 And this was one of those times, and Pam had

Speaker 10 your mother.

Speaker 34 Yeah, my mother had back surgery.

Speaker 60 And so she had painkillers.

Speaker 126 And I noticed that, oh, this is so horrible.

Speaker 10 This is what health demands.

Speaker 10 You wouldn't tell us. And

Speaker 10 this is to get out of hell.

Speaker 151 Right.

Speaker 94 This is like a confessional.

Speaker 104 Yeah.

Speaker 125 So I noticed that the Percocet, 10 milligram Percocet she was taking, looked an awful lot like regular Tylenols, unless you looked very closely at the imprint.

Speaker 29 Oh, wow.

Speaker 48 We're shooting right out of hell, my friend.

Speaker 37 Oh, man.

Speaker 115 So,

Speaker 81 I mean, I'm not trying to make myself look better, but in a bottle of like 60,

Speaker 94 I replaced five just so I could get through the moment without getting dope sick.

Speaker 42 I re-put five Tylenol in, took five Percocet out.

Speaker 43 So, basically, at one point, she took five placebos.

Speaker 30 Well, Tylenol does have healing properties.

Speaker 11 Yeah, not the same as

Speaker 29 oxycodone.

Speaker 166 Yeah, wow.

Speaker 36 That's pretty shitty.

Speaker 16 That's it's pretty low.

Speaker 14 To your own mother.

Speaker 70 To your mother, yeah.

Speaker 40 But she was okay.

Speaker 143 I mean,

Speaker 138 she survived.

Speaker 61 She did.

Speaker 10 She didn't need them.

Speaker 75 Yeah.

Speaker 40 That's probably the lowest thing I did while

Speaker 43 taking pills was,

Speaker 32 I mean, any lower would be me prostituting myself.

Speaker 146 Yeah, I've felt horrible about that for a long time.

Speaker 10 All right, you want to hear what Frank has to say?

Speaker 34 About

Speaker 88 my treachery.

Speaker 10 Let's see if he's pleased with your stories.

Speaker 28 Oh, man, that's some vile shit right there.

Speaker 101 Jesus.

Speaker 10 Do either of you guys have a conscience?

Speaker 144 Well, the toll's been paid, I guess, and you're both free to go.

Speaker 28 One last thing before you leave.

Speaker 144 I need to deliver a message from all nine of the Circle of Hellmasters.

Speaker 29 Happy Halloween.

Speaker 173 Tell them.

Speaker 5 Steve Day Day.

Speaker 49 We're back. Nice.
Wow.

Speaker 75 Oh, shit.

Speaker 83 Oh, a little dislike.

Speaker 10 I didn't even know that was going to happen.

Speaker 21 Wow. Maybe it didn't happen.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I apologize for shanking that last story, Walt. I got my stories messed up.
That's all right. I had a really killer story about returning a Wii U and trying to screw over some children.

Speaker 10 Which is a Wii U.

Speaker 14 Oh, Nintendo Wii.

Speaker 11 Oh, okay.

Speaker 62 Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 10 What's the one that moved you to the bottom of the middle?

Speaker 18 This is the one that fucking pissed me off.

Speaker 49 Troy sent this.

Speaker 34 I know he does it to me on purpose.

Speaker 26 He does.

Speaker 12 He does it to all of us.

Speaker 10 That's kind of cruel to do to a mentally ill person is to intentionally move their needle.

Speaker 115 Yeah, especially after he heard my needle hadn't been moving for a while.

Speaker 29 We should go to the newspapers about this. We'll just see about that.

Speaker 59 Okay, so this is, I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 34 I can't call the entire college puss holes, but if you

Speaker 40 utilize this service, you definitely are.

Speaker 49 The University of Florida is offering counseling to anyone who gets offended by any costumes worn this coming Halloween.

Speaker 57 The school wrote in a blog post Monday urging students to think about your choices of costumes and themes.

Speaker 49 Some costumes reinforce stereotypes of particular races, genders, cultures, or religions.

Speaker 146 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 100 Also, keep in mind that social media posts can have a long-term impact on your personal and professional reputation.

Speaker 10 Why are you laughing at that, Giddam? That's true. It is true.

Speaker 170 It's just true.

Speaker 10 It's so true. Social media can now,

Speaker 10 you could be linked to it for your entire life, what you do what you do.

Speaker 78 Let me tell you something.

Speaker 10 I suppose you're laughing at.

Speaker 57 I just, yeah, idiot.

Speaker 16 Your career in the comic book industry.

Speaker 29 No, no, no.

Speaker 140 The comic book clerk industry.

Speaker 102 There's a difference.

Speaker 14 So, Brian, that's where you end up when you do drunk story time.

Speaker 72 The low man on the totem pole at a comic book store.

Speaker 48 You can pretty much say and do whatever you want.

Speaker 10 No, you cannot.

Speaker 10 There's a lot of rules you've got to abide by.

Speaker 57 Sanctions on this guy.

Speaker 78 I'm like, North Korea is like, wow.

Speaker 37 We're strict there.

Speaker 61 For his own good.

Speaker 103 We need this guy to run our place.

Speaker 12 It's for his own good. I really believe that.

Speaker 87 Kim Jong-Walt.

Speaker 16 But can you imagine being such a soft ass?

Speaker 29 I don't even know what to call him.

Speaker 68 I don't even want to call him a pussy. That's a

Speaker 41 denigrate the beautiful female genitalia by referring to whatever these people are as a pussy.

Speaker 115 But it's just, it's unfucking believable.

Speaker 82 Can you imagine?

Speaker 112 Can you imagine you live in a world where you're so fucking just like sensitive?

Speaker 168 You see a costume and you're like, I'm so, dude, and I'm not even trying to be a fucking tough guy.

Speaker 19 I got carjacked at fucking gunpoint,

Speaker 44 held hostage, officially kidnapped,

Speaker 44 walked away from it.

Speaker 19 They called me and they're like, anybody of a violent, a victim of a violent crime

Speaker 43 is allowed to get counseling at the cost of the

Speaker 59 state.

Speaker 95 And I said, no.

Speaker 39 These guys see a costume.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I mean, that's.

Speaker 131 And they're like, oh, why not just tell them not to come into, you know, like, say, you know, if you're offended, don't come into, you know, we'll give you a free pass to take off that day.

Speaker 25 So if you see a costume of a white dude, it's not only that, man.

Speaker 59 What if they see it on social media?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Then what?

Speaker 114 So I can. Then what's going to happen?

Speaker 131 So, like, I could see a tweet and I'd have to go out. Now I have to go see this emergency counselor.
That's how fragile I am.

Speaker 155 Yeah.

Speaker 155 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Can you imagine like seeing a white dude in a sombrero

Speaker 14 and

Speaker 14 a Mexican blanket and feeling so hurt inside that your only recourse, I can't even get through it,

Speaker 174 is to call a fucking stranger and cry about it.

Speaker 157 Yeah.

Speaker 14 As opposed to just being like, that's kind of fucked up in this day and age, and then getting on with your life.

Speaker 78 And then just getting on with your life.

Speaker 16 I would fucking almost bet my life that the student that goes for that counseling is not Mexican.

Speaker 77 Right, right.

Speaker 9 And not for nothing, if I'm going to party with one of them, it's going to be the fucking guy in the sombrero and Mexican blanket because he knows how to fucking party.

Speaker 131 Not the person on Hold With Crisis Center.

Speaker 63 Right.

Speaker 95 I was in Asbury Park and I saw

Speaker 60 a person.

Speaker 56 They had like a bjorn with a little dog in it.

Speaker 56 You know, like those.

Speaker 10 Usually what they hold a baby in? Yeah.

Speaker 131 We had one of them when I was in the store recently.

Speaker 16 And

Speaker 17 it was a

Speaker 105 little Chihuahua.

Speaker 46 It wasn't a Chihuahua, no.

Speaker 84 Yorkie?

Speaker 16 Yeah, something like that. Like some little toy dog.

Speaker 21 And he had a mini, little, a little, mini sombrero on and a mini.

Speaker 64 It wasn't a chihuahua?

Speaker 42 What's that?

Speaker 23 That thing.

Speaker 29 That would be a bit of a nice black.

Speaker 61 That's fine.

Speaker 29 Yeah, that blanket.

Speaker 10 As long as it's a chihuahua.

Speaker 115 It wasn't a chihuahua, though.

Speaker 24 And I screamed cultural appropriation at that dog.

Speaker 29 I was very upset by it.

Speaker 103 I remember that. I called the police.

Speaker 110 I'm in counseling for it right now.

Speaker 25 The year after.

Speaker 14 The year after 9-11, they were dickheads walking around in Twin Tower costumes.

Speaker 4 And I wasn't like, oh,

Speaker 10 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you weren't like a little bit like, I cannot believe

Speaker 10 the sensitivity and the absolutely.

Speaker 37 I'm like, what an asshole.

Speaker 10 Yeah, what kind of brain?

Speaker 14 But I didn't need fucking, like, not for a second was I even close to like, I need to talk to somebody.

Speaker 10 But on a night, on a night when you're out and about, and maybe it's Halloween, and you see those two fucking idiots walking around.

Speaker 10 Oh,

Speaker 10 you didn't.

Speaker 10 I saw one. You weren't.

Speaker 10 You weren't inclined to maybe say something and get like a push him over.

Speaker 14 No,

Speaker 11 no, I wouldn't be able to do that. What do I care?

Speaker 61 That's America, man.

Speaker 10 And they walked around unaccosted because I would think that'd be.

Speaker 108 Look, man, we got fucking clowns getting beat up. I'm with you, bro.

Speaker 10 But people walking around as the burning towers are being left alone and being like, hey, to be honest, bro.

Speaker 29 To be honest, 14 years ago.

Speaker 10 I mean, how is that possible? What kind of world are we living in where clowns, innocent clowns, are walking around getting beat up because of some internet hoopla.

Speaker 10 We got guys walking around and dressed as the towers, and we're like,

Speaker 141 and we give them a thumbs up with a smile.

Speaker 92 It's a fucked-up world.

Speaker 131 That was 14 years ago. I think we had a little more sense back then as a collective.

Speaker 86 Fucked up world, Walt.

Speaker 10 No,

Speaker 10 I'm saying that that is. I would not be surprised.

Speaker 10 I wouldn't, I wouldn't physically harm somebody from wearing that costume, but if I drove by, I'd give whoever was beating the shit out of them a little thumbs up or beat beat.

Speaker 37 Sure.

Speaker 92 Listen to me.

Speaker 14 If somebody wanted to beat the shit out of those guys, that would make sense to me. Someone who sees it wants to call a fucking counselor and weep about it, to me, I'm just like,

Speaker 22 you're a broken human being. Agreed.

Speaker 10 But what do you say about the person who fucking sees a clown and pulls over and beats the show?

Speaker 14 Hey, man, shit happens.

Speaker 29 No!

Speaker 10 That's outrageous that clowns are getting beat up now.

Speaker 50 I agree with you, but what are you going to do?

Speaker 10 Fucking make a call.

Speaker 10 Use your stance. Use your power and your visibility in public.

Speaker 81 You should do a PSA for clowns.

Speaker 74 And tell people, don't beat up clowns this hard.

Speaker 3 I'm Brian Clinton from TV's in Philadelphia.

Speaker 10 I'm not endorsing clown bashing bashing at all.

Speaker 14 I don't think people.

Speaker 14 I'm officially coming out with a stance that nobody should bash clowns.

Speaker 69 Thank you.

Speaker 29 Thank you.

Speaker 51 And I'll stand by that.

Speaker 29 I'll stand by that.

Speaker 11 Why?

Speaker 10 Who's going to try to pull you away?

Speaker 14 You're not going to hear me changing my position on that.

Speaker 103 People are going to be a flop on that

Speaker 107 stance.

Speaker 9 But if you see a clown in the street, and it makes you all willing to get away from it.

Speaker 10 What about a clown dressed in a sombrero, wearing a twin tower costume?

Speaker 29 I mean, amazing.

Speaker 103 Amazing.

Speaker 29 Well, I think

Speaker 94 what people are getting mad at is not clowns in general, but like people dressing as clowns trying to scare kids on purpose.

Speaker 59 That seems to be what people are.

Speaker 16 But I don't know how often it's happening.

Speaker 10 This is just another one of those internet fucking deals where people are just.

Speaker 34 It's like three clowns did it.

Speaker 47 Well, it's going to

Speaker 47 be like an international interview.

Speaker 131 Where I am in Howell, the police chief had it come out because he he was getting all these complaints of kids coming home and telling their parents that someone saw a clown.

Speaker 131 And so he investigated, went all the way up to the state police, and he came out on a Facebook post and said, Look, it never actually happened. The kids are just making it up and

Speaker 46 spreading rumors. He's not a clown.
He's a comic bookstore clerk.

Speaker 10 He's just got big feet.

Speaker 37 Well,

Speaker 14 is there any difference between that guy getting offended at um a possessed psychopath and somebody seeing a zombie and it being like my son died last year and I find desecration of corpses to be disrespectful to my son who is now dead and it it offends me?

Speaker 10 I've o I thought about this. I thought about are we moving towards that too? Because um

Speaker 29 AMC's like, no.

Speaker 10 AMC's got too much money. They'll squash that movement.
Clowns clowns ain't got no powerful allies like AMC.

Speaker 155 They don't have a big lobby group.

Speaker 29 Fucking Ringoling Brothers just doesn't have the power.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, Ringling Brothers can't say, they can't come out and say anything.

Speaker 10 They're fucking torturing elephants. They can't even fucking now come out and try to defend clowns.

Speaker 93 They got no credibility.

Speaker 29 They're like, sorry, guys.

Speaker 38 You're on your own.

Speaker 34 We'd like to help, but we sort of just kept quiet about the elephants.

Speaker 34 We defend you, assholes.

Speaker 4 That's right.

Speaker 124 Is it a tough time for a clown now?

Speaker 11 Like, are our people?

Speaker 48 I think it's always a tough time.

Speaker 16 Like, they're booking parties.

Speaker 17 Like, you're going to book your kids' party, and you were like, I was going to go with a clown.

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 10 It's rough.

Speaker 10 They're waiting for the... But

Speaker 10 it's all cicular?

Speaker 29 Cyclical?

Speaker 29 Cyclical?

Speaker 10 You know, the clowns are on the crosshairs right now, but they'll be out, and somebody else will be in there.

Speaker 59 Yeah, 2020 clowns just move on.

Speaker 70 No.

Speaker 103 See the courts.

Speaker 93 no, no.

Speaker 10 Usually these things move on so fast. Like a month from now, people will see clowns and be like, oh, remember when clowns were scary?

Speaker 99 Right. Remember, and something move on to something else.

Speaker 10 We all have ADD as a society.

Speaker 34 Sorry. Yes,

Speaker 57 I know I'm offended by that.

Speaker 8 As am I.

Speaker 29 I'm almost full of the week.

Speaker 22 We don't have ADD, right?

Speaker 79 What's up? ADD?

Speaker 14 Sometimes.

Speaker 10 Okay, sorry, guys.

Speaker 150 It's all right.

Speaker 4 It's okay.

Speaker 131 We give you a pass.

Speaker 47 Our annual roundup

Speaker 39 of offensive costumes.

Speaker 19 Now, who are you going to go to, Q, when you want to know, hey, I'm going to dress up as this?

Speaker 17 Is my costume offensive?

Speaker 49 Is it too racist?

Speaker 43 Is it too sexist?

Speaker 23 Is it

Speaker 56 are you a jerk?

Speaker 14 Is winningcunt.com still up?

Speaker 65 Very close.

Speaker 34 Okay.

Speaker 49 Huffingtonpost.com.

Speaker 159 Oh.

Speaker 39 Who wants to know why are stores still selling the tranny granny costume?

Speaker 49 Tranny Granny is a Halloween costume.

Speaker 25 They use the word tranny.

Speaker 104 And it's.

Speaker 14 I thought everybody agreed that that was out.

Speaker 16 Only if tranny.

Speaker 17 We agreed that you can use it if it's somebody got tranny tricked because then they deserve it.

Speaker 54 That's right.

Speaker 94 So that's the tranny granny.

Speaker 47 I think they're just trying to be.

Speaker 47 It's just a

Speaker 54 grandmother costume.

Speaker 16 Yeah, it's a grandma. I don't understand.

Speaker 131 It's like something out of mama's family.

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 40 Yeah, I think they're just trying to be a little

Speaker 29 scared. So it's random.

Speaker 124 They're trying to stir up some

Speaker 42 news for themselves. Okay.

Speaker 135 Wait, why did it go to that now?

Speaker 52 Okay, okay. What else is on the list?

Speaker 57 Dangerous.

Speaker 95 Dangerous stereotypes about terrorism aren't a laughing matter.

Speaker 18 So don't dress up like a Middle Eastern guy with a suicide vest on.

Speaker 105 This is old.

Speaker 34 No one ever agrees with that.

Speaker 79 I would agree with that.

Speaker 131 Why would you agree with that? Because what happened in New Jersey? We had the bombing here a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 10 Oh, so now it's in your backyard.

Speaker 10 Now it's not okay.

Speaker 54 I think it's

Speaker 14 fine with Granny Tranny, but

Speaker 54 now it's a problem.

Speaker 49 Yeah, if you saw a tranny granny in your yard, then suddenly you'd be against that.

Speaker 131 Well, I think it's the vest, the whole bombing.

Speaker 39 Talking undocumented immigrants is tasteless and insensitive.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 43 it's a guy with an alien mask, a jumpsuit on that says illegal alien, and it comes completely.

Speaker 74 Are you sure these are real?

Speaker 99 And this is not just some like onion fucking specialists.

Speaker 131 It's probably the same site that sells the Kim Kardashian robbery costumes.

Speaker 10 I don't believe these costumes really exist, and they're just doing this to like to like then you and guys who

Speaker 10 are prone to get angry over things like this.

Speaker 73 Okay, let's uh now this one, Q, I couldn't disagree with more.

Speaker 57 Okay, try not to hypersexualize women with every every single costume now.

Speaker 113 Well, why don't we leave that up to the women?

Speaker 36 Exactly.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 40 Have you ever told anyone, any female, what Halloween costume they should wear?

Speaker 30 I mean, I've tried, but they don't let the end.

Speaker 29 They wear what they want.

Speaker 14 We're going 26 years in a row with Stacey Vitello, which she has not taken my suggestions.

Speaker 41 You wanted her dressed like Tranny Granny?

Speaker 10 Or Twin Towers.

Speaker 74 Sexy Twin Towers.

Speaker 4 Sexy Twin squeezes.

Speaker 26 No, that's the thing. She does wear that one.

Speaker 10 That doesn't lead to much romantic

Speaker 57 at the end of the night.

Speaker 10 It's hard to overlook.

Speaker 49 But I was under the impression that Halloween was the pass for girls to dress.

Speaker 29 I was understanding that was the purpose of Halloween. Yeah.

Speaker 125 Yeah.

Speaker 39 I don't see that as being like, like, if you're going to, like, hypersexualizing is something that the woman does.

Speaker 110 Like, Like, they don't have to buy the costume or wear it.

Speaker 14 You're trying to take that choice out of women's hands?

Speaker 16 It looks that way to me.

Speaker 57 Most Asians don't like to be depicted as exotic and servantile.

Speaker 17 There's a picture of Mink dressed as a Geisha.

Speaker 47 Okay.

Speaker 12 Geisha girl.

Speaker 14 That's a boring costume anyway. Yep.

Speaker 59 Dressing up as another culture is an appreciation.

Speaker 24 It's appropriation, Walt.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I've heard that.

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 32 That's why I don't do it.

Speaker 28 So cut it out.

Speaker 40 You were going to dress as an Indian chief, I heard.

Speaker 131 That's not on the list of approved costumes for the stash.

Speaker 49 So if I want to dress up like, say,

Speaker 145 a pilgrim.

Speaker 161 Yeah.

Speaker 95 Is that appropriating?

Speaker 14 Well, I don't believe in the concept of cultural appropriation.

Speaker 14 But

Speaker 14 if I was to

Speaker 14 dial my sensitivity all the way up.

Speaker 79 Right.

Speaker 49 You're going to Florida State or wherever that.

Speaker 14 Yes. Then I think it's okay because pilgrims were white, and you can do anything you want to white people.

Speaker 12 Okay. So I think you're okay.

Speaker 118 So, well,

Speaker 100 eventually we're going to get to the point where we're addressing as rainbows.

Speaker 61 Yeah, I told you, rainbow ponies.

Speaker 27 And

Speaker 43 pilgrims.

Speaker 58 Yeah, I think pilgrims are.

Speaker 158 We're okay with that.

Speaker 47 Okay.

Speaker 40 So that's, I don't know.

Speaker 105 Usually their roundup is a little bit more

Speaker 57 interesting.

Speaker 60 I think they're going soft.

Speaker 10 Well,

Speaker 10 they pretty much

Speaker 10 eradicated all the, you know, over the course of the years, a lot of the customs that they were upset about have been well,

Speaker 97 it's just the same shit over and over again.

Speaker 115 They're like, it's never funny.

Speaker 110 Don't dress like a fat hula dancer.

Speaker 105 It's not funny, Q

Speaker 49 who goes with that costume anyway.

Speaker 47 I mean, who's just like, hey, I know.

Speaker 49 I think the most offensive thing is going to a Comic-Con and seeing 9,000 different people dressed up like Harley Quinn with daddy's little monster shirts on.

Speaker 49 That to me is offensive in terms of like

Speaker 24 getting some fucking creativity.

Speaker 40 Like you don't think a million other girls are going to be dressed like that.

Speaker 36 Who should they dress as?

Speaker 19 Walt, give me a good idea.

Speaker 10 A deep pick?

Speaker 29 A deep track?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 100 Something that the commoner isn't going to.

Speaker 115 Something I would have to be like, hey, who's that?

Speaker 29 Squirrel Girl.

Speaker 115 Squirrel Girl.

Speaker 49 What's wrong with sexy, slutty squirrel girl?

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 10 I didn't say I thought it up.

Speaker 11 It's Halloween. I'll tell you what.

Speaker 14 I did see something at Comic-Con that changed my opinion on Riri Williams. The

Speaker 14 character taking over Iron Man.

Speaker 11 Oh, okay.

Speaker 25 Did you hear about this?

Speaker 61 This is probably the little black girl.

Speaker 14 The 15-year-old black girl is taking over the role of Iron Man from Tony Stark.

Speaker 111 Good.

Speaker 14 Now, when I first heard it, I was like, I mean, come on.

Speaker 12 I'm like, now. What's next?

Speaker 29 Drayton Green?

Speaker 14 I'm like, it's just never going to end. Like, Marvel is just rolling over and just, like, it's just,

Speaker 12 it's just, it didn't even feel sincere to me.

Speaker 14 It's like, it almost felt like they were just like, haha, oh, you didn't like Thor as a woman?

Speaker 29 You don't like black Captain America?

Speaker 11 Suck on this.

Speaker 148 Iron Man is now a 15-year-old black girl.

Speaker 14 I was like, now they're just telling people to go fuck themselves. And I respected it on that level.
But then I found out that they were sincere about it. And I was like, that is fucking so stupid.

Speaker 14 Then I saw a woman cosplaying as Riri Williams at Comic-Con.

Speaker 14 And I thought to my, and suddenly something clicked to me, Walt.

Speaker 54 I was like, you know what?

Speaker 61 This girl,

Speaker 14 you know, she had big hair. She was black.
I was like, would never have been able to.

Speaker 14 I mean, I guess she could have just dressed like Iron Man if she wanted to. And I never would have been like, why is that black chick dressed like Iron Man?

Speaker 40 She would have had to go as storm.

Speaker 14 Or she could have just went as Iron Man, right? But whatever, let's put that aside. Like, I was like, you know what?

Speaker 50 It is pretty cool.

Speaker 14 Like, she jumped on that right away. Like, she had someone that she looked like.
She had someone that's going to be a major Marvel character.

Speaker 14 And she was able to dress exactly like her and get out there.

Speaker 54 And I was like, you know what?

Speaker 169 Maybe they're, maybe I was wrong about that.

Speaker 11 Yeah, you were.

Speaker 142 I was. So I take back.

Speaker 10 But it's good that you realize that and you admit it.

Speaker 10 I do, because for a longest time, Marvel characters were just for you. Now they're not just for you.
No. And it's time you shared them, Q.

Speaker 36 And I'm happy to.

Speaker 72 I'm happy to share them. And I'm glad.

Speaker 10 And the old Q may have been kicking and screaming and not like, I'm not going to share. I wouldn't have been.

Speaker 37 I would not have bought it.

Speaker 84 It's all mine.

Speaker 14 I would not have bought her issues of Iron Man.

Speaker 26 I would have voted with my dollars.

Speaker 10 But 2014, well, 2016, whatever.

Speaker 114 Now,

Speaker 25 whatever year we're in.

Speaker 14 I am going to

Speaker 11 support the new Iron Man.

Speaker 89 I'm going to support Riri. I'm there.

Speaker 10 But, I mean, you really can't call it Iron Man, then.

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 10 That would be. That's, to me, is a.

Speaker 29 She's Iron Girl, right?

Speaker 67 Well, Thor, they called Thor Thor.

Speaker 10 Well, that, but yeah, but there's no man after that, though. But Iron Man

Speaker 10 is kind of a slam, though. Like, there's no need to call her Iron Man.

Speaker 14 Well, she's Iron Heart.

Speaker 58 Oh, that's what they're going to call her? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 10 All right. Then it's all good.

Speaker 14 So I'm in. I'm in.

Speaker 12 Anyway, this is Halloween. Yeah, you ready?

Speaker 45 Yeah, let's get into it.

Speaker 47 Get him.

Speaker 126 Don't dress up like a tampon again.

Speaker 60 It turns out it's offensive.

Speaker 114 He's not allowed to. Why is that offensive? I told you.

Speaker 37 Would you allow it?

Speaker 54 What was that joke you and I had about 10 years ago where I had to put a tampon on?

Speaker 29 You had to put a tampon on your face.

Speaker 105 What was the joke?

Speaker 40 I think it was because

Speaker 39 it was during the time that your former fiancé was.

Speaker 26 This is like 15 years ago.

Speaker 24 Yeah, was mistreating you.

Speaker 34 And it just became like that.

Speaker 49 It was the last in a long line of insults where she just took her tampon out.

Speaker 57 She's like, here, wear this.

Speaker 49 And she just stuck it on the side of your face.

Speaker 39 You were forced to wear it.

Speaker 61 The argument.

Speaker 70 The argument that I had with her, and then I slowly fucking wind it down and ended up just wearing it on my face, not even knowing why.

Speaker 10 Blocking your vision.

Speaker 121 Oh my god, we were dying live.

Speaker 92 It was like it took over a whole day of our lives.

Speaker 70 It became a whole thing.

Speaker 84 We were dying live.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I want to thank all the

Speaker 10 ringmasters, all the circle masters for supplying the clips in a timely fashion. And

Speaker 37 happy Halloween, right?

Speaker 14 Hey, happy Halloween, everybody.

Speaker 110 Yes,

Speaker 47 happy Hollow Ween.

Speaker 29 No, happy, what was it?

Speaker 103 Empty overdose.

Speaker 62 What was it? Because it's the new official.

Speaker 29 Happy overdose full.

Speaker 180 They call it monster because it's over 17 inches.

Speaker 8 Snitches, snitches, snitches.

Speaker 158 Let me get, let me, let me, let me get, let me, let me get get some of that stinky clam Make make make like sus and eat it like green eggs in ham Got a monster dick called Frankenstein Make all the village hoes wait in line Damn Sunday, you a player.

Speaker 181 You let me skip the line when I arrive at slave layer. Jeff, hang all those bitches.

Speaker 180 My dick ain't green and I ain't got no stitches.

Speaker 178 Besides only fuck monsters.

Speaker 181 Well, I'm a thriller. A she-devil jimmed out and called a dream killer.

Speaker 180 Eat your principal charms so you can play.

Speaker 181 Better make hay if you want my dollar-shaped pussy. I grip like an ijacuzi on a Pepsi.

Speaker 158 Howdies make you snore.

Speaker 181 I don't give you an ocolepsy.

Speaker 180 You say you want a knight in shining armor.

Speaker 181 You said a few returns won't make sunkoast go under. You said you won't go to a strip club to clutter.

Speaker 45 Gotta make sure I put on a rubber.

Speaker 160 Got a monster dick.

Speaker 158 Monster dick. Monster dick.

Speaker 119 I'm gonna suck your pumpkins while I lick your hockey stick.

Speaker 178 When I'm slurping and burping on that clip, but who's kidding who?

Speaker 58 Your universal monsters legit.

Speaker 181 Damn, these bitches got me on the stroll.

Speaker 180 Seventeeny tiny dicks is how you roll.

Speaker 29 Let those dwarves full of training.

Speaker 181 In this hole, you're more full of shit than the Natso Super Bowl.

Speaker 29 Praying to the Lord.

Speaker 29 But we know you need an MD, and I don't mean die.

Speaker 178 Call it monster dicks. Cause it's such a massive cop.

Speaker 181 Grinding on your rock hard one.

Speaker 178 Trying so hard not to be a three-punk chunk.

Speaker 181 No monster dicks quicker than Sundays.

Speaker 178 My cover's blown.

Speaker 181 Cause you're just in your meundy.

Speaker 180 Gross and affected when you spread.

Speaker 181 Gross, you call me chewy when I'm giving your head. Keep this up, and I won't be your hoe.
And then you'll be stuck coming hand solo.

Speaker 160 Got a monster dick.

Speaker 158 Monster dick. Monster dick.
Let's hope the dope is over 17 inches. And it's thick.

Speaker 178 Feed your Prince Charming.

Speaker 157 Hung like a horse.

Speaker 135 A bad boy, skilled in the art of intercourse.

Speaker 180 Trying to fit your fat ass foot in Cinderella's slipper, you're unable. So your sick ass drops a juice in that glass shoe like a glass tape.

Speaker 181 For real, you know I shit in that heel once to be symbolic. During my performance art interpretation of I sell comics.

Speaker 158 Got a monster dicker, monster dicker, monster dicker.

Speaker 87 I'ma spread my church shed for your mini golf stick.

Speaker 178 Next on my fuck list Igor.

Speaker 178 But I've only fucked monsters.

Speaker 108 Cause hollies make me snore.

Speaker 157 Snore, snore, snore.

Speaker 163 I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. My monster from a slab began to rise.
And suddenly, to my surprise, he did the mash.

Speaker 163 He did the monster mash.

Speaker 163 It was a graveyard smash.

Speaker 63 It caught on in a flash.

Speaker 63 He did the monster mash. From a laboratory in the castle east.

Speaker 163 To the monster bedroom where the vampires feast.

Speaker 63 The ghouls all came from their humble abode to get a jolt from my electrode.

Speaker 163 They did the monster mash.

Speaker 63 It was a graveyard smash.

Speaker 63 It caught on in a flash.

Speaker 4 He did the monster mash.

Speaker 130 The zombies were having fun.

Speaker 127 The party had just begun.

Speaker 127 The guests included Wolfman, Dracula, and his son.

Speaker 127 The scene was rocking, all were digging the sound. Igor in chains backed by his baying hounds.

Speaker 63 The coffin bearers were about to arrive.

Speaker 4 With their vocal group, the crypt kickified.

Speaker 63 They did the monster mash.

Speaker 163 It was a graveyard smash.

Speaker 63 It caught on in a flash.

Speaker 130 They did the monster mash.

Speaker 87 Out from his coffin, Drax's voice did ring. Seems he was troubled by just one thing.

Speaker 127 He opened the lid, it shook his fist, and said, Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist,

Speaker 127 it's now the monster mash.

Speaker 163 It was a graveyard smash.

Speaker 75 It caught on in a flash.

Speaker 127 It's now the monster mash.

Speaker 118 Now everything's cool, Drax a part of the band.

Speaker 163 My monster mash is the hit of the land.

Speaker 130 For you, the living, the smash was meant to.

Speaker 162 When you get to my door, tell them what it sent you.

Speaker 163 Yet you can monster

Speaker 163 It was a graveyard smash

Speaker 127 It caught on in a flash

Speaker 63 Then you can monster mash

Speaker 111 good

Speaker 121 Go back, get back

Speaker 164 All right,

Speaker 178 let's get this going.

Speaker 131 All right, let me hit the internet.

Speaker 122 All right, all right, little

Speaker 163 all right, medium. Let's wake up.

Speaker 153 Oh, yeah,

Speaker 158 all right,

Speaker 178 let's find me some porn.

Speaker 160 Here we go.

Speaker 90 Little schoolgirl working it.

Speaker 106 Young little pussy,

Speaker 106 oh shit, shit,

Speaker 109 what

Speaker 13 what

Speaker 131 yeah, I'm getting ready for work.

Speaker 132 I'll talk to you later.

Speaker 77 All right, bye.

Speaker 130 All right, now where was I?

Speaker 130 Oh fuck.

Speaker 157 Oh my god, that feels good.

Speaker 173 Shit, never mind.

Speaker 131 Fuck it. She's too into it.

Speaker 178 Um all right, let me find something else.

Speaker 75 Um hmm

Speaker 15 come on

Speaker 15 damn it

Speaker 67 Hello

Speaker 129 yeah Walt. Yep.

Speaker 131 Yeah yeah I'm getting ready for work right now.

Speaker 161 Uh

Speaker 63 oh okay.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 129 Yeah. Yeah Walt.
Yeah.

Speaker 162 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 162 I'll address those stamps.

Speaker 131 I'll address those patches when I get to work, yeah?

Speaker 131 Nothing, nothing. I'm just

Speaker 63 about to

Speaker 162 hop in the shower.

Speaker 131 Yeah, everything's fine.

Speaker 162 Yeah, everything's fine.

Speaker 80 Okay.

Speaker 145 Alright.

Speaker 162 Alright. I'll talk to you later.
Bye.

Speaker 162 Shit.

Speaker 130 Now, where was I?

Speaker 127 Let's see.

Speaker 119 Schoolgirl.

Speaker 127 There we go.

Speaker 122 Ooh.

Speaker 173 Young schoolgirl

Speaker 131 befriends next-door neighbor.

Speaker 130 Oh, that'll be good for me.

Speaker 67 Oh, yeah,

Speaker 61 yeah,

Speaker 87 oh, yeah.

Speaker 10 All right, okay, enough of the plot.

Speaker 162 Let's get to the action. There we go.

Speaker 127 There we go.

Speaker 127 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 15 Oh,

Speaker 133 oh, faster, baby.

Speaker 159 Yeah.

Speaker 87 Oh, God, yeah.

Speaker 87 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 127 I'm your neighbor.

Speaker 127 I'm your neighbor, yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 122 Oh, damn.

Speaker 87 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 127 Oh, God, I'm your neighbor.

Speaker 90 Yeah.

Speaker 90 Oh, that was good.

Speaker 41 has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir, only at Smodcast.com.