#306: #Funeralz

There should be trumpets before this before this announcement.

Let's get some trumpets, Declan.

You can't handle fucking thunderclaps.

Whoa.

Is everything all right?

A major, major, major release is being announced right now.

This is huge.

I mean,

I think that

it's one of the milestone moments in this podcast's history.

It's young history.

Right.

This is one of those moments where,

and I, and what you call, I guess, product, I guess is the only word you could use to describe it, that will, uh,

that others will be measured against.

That I agree with.

Also, this is the first product that we took.

Well, no, we've been doing it, but like the lessons we learned from Kickstarter, where we were like,

let's not announce

a

project until it's completed and ready to go.

As difficult as it was for some people.

Ladondo, I'm looking in your direction.

Ladondo is absolutely out of his mind, right?

Like rabid.

I was like, he's definitely fucking around with me.

Like, somebody got a butterfly net.

There's something wrong with this.

Like, I didn't truly believe he was this

rabid to have this item released.

I mean, it was literally like weekly at a certain point, which I guess isn't that bad, bad, but

I thought he was just fucking with me at a time.

But then I realized he was doing it to everybody.

I was just like, oh, my God.

He's not that great a troll.

But he has reasons to

be excited about this, as do we and everybody else involved.

So what is it, Q?

You're not going to distance yourself from it a little bit?

Because I felt like you were.

I am distancing myself a little bit from it.

From what?

From what you're about, this product you're about to announce.

Distance yourself from it.

Well, in terms of,

I can't say that it was in my,

it was not in my

strengths.

This particular item, this particular vehicle doesn't play to, like, tell them what it is, and I can explain why.

Okay, it is Vinyl Cast 2.

Yes!

Woo!

Finally, four years later, in 2012, right,

we became the first podcast ever.

And why aren't we in the book of the Guinness Book of World Records?

Is there a category for that?

I'll look into it.

Yeah, I think it's just submitting paperwork.

We became

the first podcast ever to release an episode on Vinyl.

Okay.

Ever.

In the history of the universe.

There may be other people who like little asterisks, though.

Like, you don't know if

the word podcast may be ill-defined.

There may be radio shows that release stuff.

Well, those are radio shows.

Okay.

Where we live and die by the podcast.

yes

uh it is life and death and it took us four years

way more than when you're on the fire department

it took us four years to

come to a follow-up that we that we

deemed worthy not only is it a follow-up not is it only called vinyl cast 2

but it is

since it's the second time it's ever since it's the second release

twice as big twice as big means it's a double album Double album.

Now, think about

the world's greatest double albums.

Quickly coming to mind?

Frampton Comes Alive.

Okay.

Kiss Alive 1 and 2.

The Wall.

All going to have to take a back seat now, baby.

Because to a new fucking fuck runner, a new all-time great double album artist.

Yeah, there's a new kid on the scene.

He's new.

You know?

Physical graffiti.

Yeah.

Throw it out.

You're not going to need it anymore.

With physical graffiti a double O?

Yeah.

Song remains the same, right?

I don't know.

All right.

Well, fuck all of them anyway.

It doesn't matter.

They can all suck together.

Nobody's even thinking about them right now because they're here.

Go suck a boner, Frampton.

What is the, but tell the people about the concept.

What was the concept?

The concept is my 40th birthday was in March, so everybody got together and

everybody.

Everybody who's anybody in the Tell them Steve Dave world

came together this night in Jersey at a comic book store to make podcasting history.

Again.

To roast me.

Do you think they'll put that in the Guinness book?

With one direction.

Do not hold back.

Remember that shit that you said we're going to say about Ming all those years ago and we had you pull it out?

Yeah.

That was fucking Paul for the course of it.

He used it.

And he used it in there.

Well, you thought you wondered, what was Brian told not to say in that Christmas episode?

Well,

now it's revealed.

Oh, man.

Is it ever?

And that's why when I say, like,

I think distance to myself is a wrong word, but I do feel because you did great.

Well,

we don't need to put the lipstick on a pig because it's so strong anyway.

It doesn't matter what I did or didn't do.

But

roasting somebody and being ruthless and

just bloodthirsty for

with the insults.

Right.

I found it difficult to do.

I definitely was

uncomfortable in it, but

it was in Brian's.

This was what Brian was built for.

Yes.

This is what he was.

That was what he was put on this earth to do.

And

apparently a lot of other people were too, because nobody disappointed.

Ming Chen,

I've dubbed him the assassin now after this.

Yeah.

Because he is literally ruthless.

He says shit that you would not believe your beloved Ming Chen would say.

And we were, like, when we did it, we were like, well, who should lead off?

You know, where should we place people?

He was kind of nervous because we were like, well, we don't lead off with somebody who's, you know, maybe not going to be all that great in the material.

So

for some reason, we thought Ming wouldn't be, but my God,

the bar was immediately set so fucking high that it's like, holy shit.

And the reason that LaDon, though, is is so bonerific for the release is he fucking comes in like a fucking vicious surgeon just ripping pieces out of everybody.

That was my one regret was that I didn't really go after him because I had no idea that he had that level of anger in him.

You know, just a couple like throwaway jokes.

And here's Chris Odondo.

And then, yeah, he really went for it, man.

He went for the jugular.

Here's some of the artists that you can look forward to hearing in the Final Cast 2: Michael Zapsic.

right?

Get him, Steve, Dave.

Another fucking another guy who came out swinging.

Sunday, Jeff.

All Framptons.

Stacey Patella, first time ever she will speak.

That's right.

There are

some of friends of mine that couldn't be in the room sent in tapes.

Rose, if you will.

We got Doug Stanhope, comedy legend,

comes at me pretty hard.

Sal Vocano.

Joe Gatto.

Owen.

Owen Benjamin.

Stacey Patella makes a tape.

Fucking horribly ripping me apart.

Justin.

Rick and Morty.

Not even Justin Royland.

Rick and Morty call in and fucking roast the shit out of me

in a fucking surprising,

very surprising tact that they take

that I don't want to ruin for you, but if you're a fan of Rick Rick and Morty and you've always wanted to hear them viciously and vulgar-esquely, rip apart an impractical joger, it's there.

We got Ian K.

Morris.

Ian Morris, yes.

Maxwell, Mikey Z, which is Zapsic.

Everybody, who's anybody who ever appeared on that all your

somewhere Frank Three's like,

well, Frank Three was invited.

He didn't show up.

Yeah.

As usual.

Right.

But this album is now available

at tellhamsteed.com.

Go check it out.

It's on Merch Table, double album.

You're going to get the digital download upon purchase.

So

the album may ship to you.

It may take a week or 10 days, but you'll be able to listen to the episode that as soon as you buy it.

And that's already worked out with Merch Table, right?

It's already done.

Done,

they got it.

It's done.

And in celebration for the release of Vinyl Cast 2,

another major announcement, Q.

What's that?

The re-release of Vinyl Cast 1, the foam face edition.

Oh, boy.

For all the foam faces that didn't get in on the vinyl cast the first time.

We said we would never do it.

That wasn't true.

Obviously,

but it was a lot of people, a lot of listeners were bummed out.

They could never get this or listen to this.

And

I don't know if it was you or Brian who came up with the idea, well, let's change the artwork on the cover, which we just changed a couple colors, and we put a stamp on it right on the front that says foam face edition.

Right.

So there's no ifs, ands, or buts that you're getting the inferior version.

You are definitely getting the inferior version and paying top dollars for it.

And the disc is white.

Remember?

Is that true?

Oh, it better be.

We order them in white.

If that's true, then it is white.

So possibly.

I've seen them, so I don't know.

Yeah, as I recall, the foam face editions are all white, white vinyl.

In the tradition of foam.

That's right.

I imagine that's why we did it, right?

Yeah, you're a fucking foam face.

You're a foam face.

You know what that means.

But you have to embrace it.

You got to embrace it.

You fucked up.

You fucked up.

You're a foam face.

Now you're getting the white vinyl, the foam face edition stamp.

Yeah, the logo is a different color now, and it says, and there's, and it's so,

you can't miss it.

It's a gigantic stamp on the front that says foam face edition,

and there's more celebration queue.

Yes,

we had put aside of our own personal stash

some first pressings of Final Cast one.

That's right, the original.

I was planning on sending my kids to college with that money.

But since I was outvoted on the foam face edition, now made my first pressings worthless

or

worth $15 more than the foam face edition.

That's right.

You can now, there are only, I mean,

these are a handful.

There's like 50 of them, right?

Yeah, I think there's less than, I think there's less than 100.

Yeah, okay.

And there's less of 100 up there.

Once they're gone, they are gone.

There will be no more first pressings.

This is the last pressing.

This is the aftermarket.

We've essentially crushed, killed the market for the first pressings anyway, with the foam face edition.

But

if you are a completist and you want the first pressing, it's there now.

It won't be there forever.

So, if you don't, you know, please don't email me.

There are no more if you get there too late.

I think there's like one or two reds in there, too, right?

Don't say those things.

We don't know for sure.

Don't ever don't get people so hopeful.

But there is, but with the Final Cast 2,

the first 350 people who order are going to get something unique and special, a little special insert that we put in the first 350 copies, a piece of the original felt from the table where we recorded all those episodes from.

That's right.

So, when everybody over the summer was like, oh, what the fuck?

Why'd you take the felt off?

Where is it?

And couldn't answer those questions.

A special swap

is included of the felt in the first 350 copies that go out.

Is it the first 350 copies that go out, or is it randomly?

It's not random.

It's not random.

I thought it would be best to do it as

the first 350.

But they won't know if they're one of the first 350 until they get

the album yeah okay well the fucking second they hear it well that's what that's why this is this what this is like pavlo's dog right is that how you say it sure

yeah listen to fucking tell tv when it drops on fucking immediately stop what you're doing don't wait 10 days to listen to it because you're missing out on good shit right that you know that's what makes you a foam face yes if you don't want to be a foam face then listen to the episode and it comes out so you don't miss out on stuff like this i know hey what, Aug, you got a life, you got kids, so do I.

Get over it.

You know,

you're doing more than listening.

You're down here fucking doing this shit.

Yes.

So, I mean, if you're, this is one of those reasons why you should be listening immediately as Tell him Steve Dave drops.

Right.

I understand life gets in the way, but

still,

I feel

because there is no.

This is one of the best episodes of Tell him Steve Dave ever.

I honestly feel the

roast.

It's fucking

undeniable.

It will be undeniable.

I know if people are going to be like, oh, they're talking it up.

No, no, no.

I think it's word of mouth.

We don't even need to.

So word of mouth will.

I didn't say it about the first one.

I wasn't like it's one of our best episodes ever.

Well, it was more about the novelty and about the achieving, you know, being first.

Like, you know, the first man on the moon.

You know, that mission didn't go so smooth.

It wasn't one of the best.

But they got on the moon.

Yeah, they got there, though.

Right.

Here they left a whole bunch of shit up there that they weren't supposed to.

Yeah.

Like they shit all over the place?

No, not literal shit.

Stole on the moon?

Stooling on the moon?

No, things, you know, but they refine that mission until they got it just right, just like Vinylcast.

It's been refined out until it's the perfect beast.

So do you think that this is going to be the start of a Tellum Steve Dave roast series?

Not necessarily on vinyl.

I don't know.

Because it's so fucking good.

You know, Ladondo's up for it.

Yeah, yeah.

I know almost every, yeah, everybody.

He's got the next six written.

Me and Mike are

wouldn't want to or would not be looking forward to that.

Mike takes a lame base stick.

Mike gets pretty hard.

Well, I don't mean and I don't even mean that

Mike wouldn't be looking forward to it.

I just think me and him are

not interested or don't.

It doesn't appeal to us to sit down and try to deconstruct right in front of everybody.

you know, all their friends and just dismantle their humanity.

Because the way a roast works.

That's how it works.

And I knew going in, that's what it was going to be like.

But I can't say that

I was comfortable doing it.

Well, that's why James Murray from Practical Jokers recused himself.

He had said

he

it's not really his thing.

He doesn't like being that mean.

Yeah, I can understand.

He doesn't understand why people would even do it.

So he was like, basically, like, and you got to respect it.

The guy's basically saying, I love you too much to sit there and rip on you.

And the only reason I did it was because

of the fat final cast money.

I sold my soul just like for fucking

Hitler.

I sold out on all my principles.

But at the same time, I did it for love.

Yeah.

Yeah, because the way it works, right, is like, so there's a deus and I'm up there, and they're supposed to be roasting me, but they really just, it's an excuse to take pot shots at everybody.

Yeah, it's not just you that's oh, I get at least at times.

I mean,

everybody gets put under the microscope and, like Brian said, dismantled.

And

some worse than others.

But it's all done.

But people will be laughing.

I think some people will be shocked, too.

Oh, I know.

I think you're right.

I think some people will be shocked.

I think people are going to be

so shocked.

It's so fucking raw

that they're going to be like...

Their jaws will hit the floor

how harsh and how heinous it could get.

Because that was the rule.

You cannot hold back.

We were going to the Friar Club.

What's it called?

Yeah, Friars Club rules.

So it was like you either

come hard or don't come at all.

Those are a bunch of old fucking Bush Belt comedians.

I would say more like the Comedy Central Roast these days.

But I would put this on par with the Comedy Central ones.

Like, if you're a Tel C Dave fan, oh, yeah.

You're not, if you're looking for

cruel

and

cold-hearted

If you need a safe word,

if you use safe words, do not come into don't buy this vinyl cast because it's brutal, it's unrelenting, and

it should get the rated M.

We should have put a rated M on the front cover.

Yeah, yeah.

Great Wayne Jansen comes back and he helps out with the front cover.

Okay, I was like, who the fuck is that?

Well, we didn't even talk about the artwork yet.

Well, you can go check it out.

There's no way to talk about it.

Go look at it on Merch table right now.

It's up there.

It's ready to order.

And

I go review it.

I don't know where you can review it, but go find somewhere.

Let us know what you think, though.

Yeah, right now we're not selling it digitally or anything like that.

We're not selling it digitally.

You get a digital download with it.

Right, but it's not for sale on iTunes or Bandcamp or anything.

This is the only place you can get it right now.

We will never release it.

No, don't say that.

We always relent anyway.

I don't think the original one?

No, it didn't.

That'll come with a digital download, too.

Oh, really?

Okay.

On the cast one, if you buy the first pressing, you get a a digital download of the content.

And the

foam face, you're getting a digital download of the content.

Vinyl Cast 2, you're getting a digital download of the content.

So, with the caveat that we do lie and go back on our words, this will never be released for sale digitally.

Maybe

when the vinyls sell out?

Right.

Because we're only doing this one pressing.

Wink, wink.

We print it.

We print it.

We print it a lot.

We print it.

We print it a lot.

So it may be a while.

But yeah,

if you're interested in hearing it and you're going to wait just to buy the digital only, you're going to have a long long way on it.

Yeah, it'll be a while.

Yeah, that's for sure.

So do it, man.

So what is it?

Tell himstevedave.com brings you to the page.

Don't be a foam face.

This is the perfect

Christmas gift for a Tellum Steve Dave listener, right?

I mean, this is the

practical joker.

We're a practical joker.

That's where we got to sell this as.

Wow.

Joker products.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You want to hear Joe Gatto be fucking vicious?

Joe Gatto says some shit that, like, yeah, it's not the holy fuck, the fun-loving nice gentle that you're getting.

He handed it to me, and he was like, ah, I hope I didn't go too far.

And I listened, and I was so, I was laughing so hard.

I was like, this motherfucker has got a mean streak.

It was great.

Yeah, he was.

We're all good with the IJ crowd, right?

They're all on board.

Like, we didn't, we didn't, you didn't burn any bridges when you said anything about IJ, did you?

No, I don't think so.

There seems to be some sort of like, when I was like, Hugh's not going to be your girlfriend, just cut the shit a couple weeks ago.

Yeah, we should have.

People got upset at that?

You really should have fucking not said that until we're releasing.

Speaking of not said, you know, until the release of the vinyl cast, and speaking of like, I was trying so hard to get this out before 300, so we have to give Mrs.

Giddem a copy.

But her fucking, she's getting one.

She's listening.

Congratulations, Mrs.

Giddam.

Yeah, you fucking

shit.

Not only is she getting vinyl cast two, she's getting a foam face.

Oh, come on.

There's no way she's getting the special felt swatch, though, right?

I mean, you're getting draw the line.

I'm getting a felt swatch.

The little extras were not promised.

Have we even heard from her?

No.

So we don't even know where to send it.

Yes, I have all her all her.

Sure, we do.

Fucking Giddam's crawl space.

But she's, don't worry.

I made, I hope, maybe

she was listening to this and she'd already placed an order.

You can't cancel it, Mrs.

Gidham.

I got to.

Go to eBay and put it on there.

Why don't you stop being such a fucking skell and just order this shit instead of expecting us to hand you everything for free, Mrs.

Geddam.

This is her first time she's actually getting something.

What do they say in Bioshock once he signed?

Oh, the Paris parasites.

This is the first piece.

This is her first actual thing that she could look at and say, like, well, at least I got this.

Right, right.

Okay.

Nothing else.

Hey, what's with this Moo and yon and my hot dogs?

You know, speaking of somebody who works at a comedy network,

you had me at my son died of leukemia.

Are you worse than Jared from Subway Channel?

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Yes, yes.

Yes, Q.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

What?

Yes.

What the fuck's happening?

Are you enthused?

No, not really.

What should I be enthused about?

Simmy.

Oh, well, that I am enthused about.

Yes, I am.

I know, I am.

Simmy is...

Why don't you introduce him, Q?

Simmy is...

Say hi, Simmy, so they know who I'm talking about.

Hey, how are you, Q?

Okay.

Simmy is the...

You know Q.

You don't know us.

Why wouldn't you say hello to us?

Sorry.

Hey, guys.

I'm super, super rude.

Don't take this shit, Sim.

Simmy is the true.

I mean, I guess the only way to say it is you're the network executive assigned to Impractical Jokers, correct?

Yep.

Okay, and as such.

The only one?

Yeah, right now.

The only one.

The only one we need, buddy.

That's right.

Because.

But that machine needed more than one man.

Yeah, you would think so, right?

He does a good job.

What's Simi short for?

It's actually short for my Hebrew name, Simcha.

So, just a little easy.

Yeah, so easy.

That is so fucking weird.

That was my high school nickname.

Simcha.

Simcha.

You look like a Simcha.

Yeah, I do, right?

Simi is very religious, right?

Like, you keep, keep going.

Yeah, I keep the Sabbath.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The whole thing.

I keep kosher.

No, no, he's a comedy guy.

He's not worried about it.

He's a Christian guy versus a Hebrew guy

versus a Satanist.

I was going to pitch a show today.

It may not work so much.

Oh, you got a show to pitch Simmy?

No, no, no, no.

Don't worry about it.

No, no, no, no.

I thought it had something to do with Hitler or something, which

normally it does.

Oh, really?

Don't worry about it.

It's fine.

So, Simmy, so what happened is each network, I mean, each show kind of has an overseer at the network.

And Simmy is our overseer.

How long have you been on the show now?

Years now.

Three years, yeah.

Three years.

And everybody before Simmy was a fucking disaster.

And some of them still work at the network.

Yeah.

And the last time I called one a disaster, I got in trouble for it, but I can say it now anyway.

I don't care.

But Simmy's not going on record as saying this person was a disaster.

I don't think so because he's got to work right next door to him.

No, I think the people who I'm pretty sure the executives who used to work on the show aren't at the network anymore.

All of them.

I think you chased them all away, Q.

Okay, that's great.

I mean, there are definitely people involved in the show.

We have other people who work on the show

in other roles.

But we didn't really have problems with anybody except for.

It was tough getting us an executive that we like.

Well, one, the president of the network was kind of

what's the word, Simmy?

Asshole?

I'll leave this one to you, Q.

Okay, he's kind of an asshole.

I mean, he had his lovable moments, but for the most part, he was very difficult to work with.

And for the first couple of years of Impractical Joker's existence, I'm sure it's been documented on this show, we had a very difficult relationship with the network.

New president comes in, Chris Lynn, Marissa, who found our show, got promoted.

Now we have a great relationship with the network, and Simmy is a big part of that.

We actually like him.

And he's funny.

He helps out the show and stuff like that.

That's why he's here, because I like him.

When I came on, there was definitely,

it felt like you guys were coming out of an abusive relationship.

Yes, without a doubt.

They couldn't even lift a hand to pet us without us looking a bite.

Yeah,

exactly.

Hackles up.

Yeah, you wouldn't think it'd be like that.

Yeah, it was majorly like that.

Really?

So you got treated like shitbirds at first.

Like the first season of the show, our ratings were pretty good.

They're pretty strong.

They might even be better than they are now, actually, because now they just play us all the time so people can watch whatever.

But the first season of the show, we were getting high, but this crew, this top crew at the time, would watch the show minute by minute, ratings-wise.

They could break down that.

And

if it dipped,

he would look at that minute of the show, call us up to the network to yell at us about the content of that one minute.

And then

he would be like, well, now I want you to write jokes.

All right, let's say the bit is we're working on the comic book store, and you have to do whatever I tell you to.

This particular president wanted us to submit a packet of jokes for what we might say if an Asian woman walked in, if a little kid walked in, and he would want to approve or have one of his executives approve each joke.

So we would write it, send it up, they would write yes or no next to it and send it back.

And we wouldn't do it.

Like, we would either fight against it, or we would sit, or we would have a secret page of jokes for ourselves, or we would just make it up in the spot and totally ignore, and it would just create all these problems.

That was always a feeling I got that when

you're telling people to say stuff,

some of that stuff might be written ahead of time, but a majority of it was just like off the cuff, like we do.

All the best stuff is off the cuff.

But in a world where your guys aren't live, this isn't happening a lot.

Like, you're not like, it's not streaming live.

What difference does it make what you say?

That you can just be edited out, whatever joke you make that they may not like.

And the final cut would belong to them.

If they let it go through, then whose fucking fault is it that they're not happy with it?

Well, then we would get to the edit.

Then we would get to the edit, and then it would be a whole nother fight.

Like every part was a joke.

And we don't really work like that.

We don't.

I mean.

I haven't written a fucking joke for the show in years, you know what I mean?

Because now we're so used to it, and we know what we're doing.

we just get up and just kind of do our things we still have writers you know what i mean casey and the guys and and stuff like that but um i feel like the network's in a different place though it's like when you when jokers came out i mean this is even before my time when i when i started uh four years ago at true jokers was already on the air and uh and it was really the only comedy because you had like hardcore pawn and you had you know um you had a lizard like towing all these like tow truck shows and then you had jokers and it was i feel like a lot of the people at the network probably didn't know what to do with the comedy why did the network move away from all the towing shows?

I miss them.

Don't you?

What's that hot dog show you loved?

The wiener circle.

The wiener circle, sure.

But I mean, Jennifer Lopez was involved with the tower.

With the

South Beach Toe, yeah.

Well, I think actually Jokers had a lot to do with that.

I think that Chris Lynn came in as the new president of the network, and

they decided we wanted to do more comedy.

And I think the tow truck shows, those shows, got a pretty decent number, but I think advertisers especially weren't crazy about it.

They would be considered not comedy because it definitely looked like they were trying to go for laughs.

Yeah, it was like reality comedy.

It was a little different, you know?

I mean, this Jokers is a reality show, but it's not like a...

It's not the docu series, like the docu-follow shows like

Lizard Lick Toeing.

No, Comic Men's a little different.

I feel like a show like because Lizard Lick Toeing, it was sort of like this created drama, you know, people getting into huge fights.

There were people yelling at each other.

Exactly.

So it's those kinds of shows that I feel like the network wanted to move away from and more into shows like Joker's like Carbonaro Effect, which is a hidden camera magic show.

And then we started doing some scripted stuff as well.

Did they ever suggest that the Jokers tow some cars back in the day?

Maybe to get in line with the rest of the network.

Or tower Jennifer Lopez's car.

I would tow him a car.

Anyway, they did after the first season.

And I think the first season, I mean, what we got paid was just insanely laughable.

And when we asked for a raise for the second season, the President Network at the time told us, Samia, you were not there for this, thank God, that, okay, here's what we'll do.

We'll test, we'll focus test the show, and the three Jokers who test the best will keep on the show.

We're going to fire the fourth one and give his salary to the other three.

Like, that's what we were dealing with.

I never heard that.

That's amazing.

Yeah, just for asking for like a.

I feel like that's something I'd go along with.

I was going to say,

well, if you're the Joker that tests the lease, you don't want that.

I'm speaking from a personal

comic book men, you roll the dice with that?

You roll the dice.

You play Russian roulette when the cast of comic book men,

you walk into original media and you're like,

and they present that to you.

Like, okay, you want to raise Mr.

Johnson, but here's what we'll do: we'll test an episode, and the comic book man who gets the least approval is going to walk.

I feel like that's playing Russian roulette with an unloaded gun.

Give it a safe.

I would do that.

Okay.

They wanted me to stop doing Tell and Steve Dave, the original thing.

I never heard this.

They never told us this.

They threatened.

They went for it.

They threatened to sue me.

Why?

What were they afraid of?

Because we were going into production of comic book men, and they were worried that

I was going to bleed into.

Because in my contract with True, it says that I can do Tell him Steve Dave

and that I can do any TV shows based on Tell him Steve Dave.

And they were concerned, or he was concerned, I should say, that AMC was

green-lit comic book men just to get back at him because he had worked for them and quit and was trying to steal me off the show.

Now, do you think he believes right now they're still getting back at him?

He's a six-year-old.

I don't know what he believes because he can be a maniac.

I don't know where he is.

So,

Marissa, who still works at True, who's one of the people, called me up

and was like, she was in such a hard position because she was basically like, I got this president of the network as a maniac telling me to call you to tell you to quit this thing.

You know, and I had a very rational conversation with her, and she was just like, well, you're right, I can't ask you not to do this.

This is insane.

So, she just, she went back to the network and fought for me, which is why I always have a soft spot in my heart for Marissa.

On top of that, she's also insanely beautiful.

A lot of reasons that I saved Tell him, Steve, Dave?

She saved.

Some woman that we don't even know.

Not only did she green light in practical jokers.

Yeah.

She green lit impractical jokers.

She was the one that got Jokers made, but she also saved Telumsteve Dave.

Yeah.

And no one even knows who she is.

She's an unsung hero.

Plus, she's a hottie.

She is also, yeah, she's a hottie.

Most importantly, no, you just mentioned it, though.

But that's overshadowed by

her

professional achievements.

Right.

So you like Simmy.

Oh, I like Simmy a lot.

You weren't pressured into bringing a suit on to

promote the show.

I've been I get into fights with Simmy.

I have?

Oh, vicious fights with Simmy.

We've gotten into it.

We've gotten into it a few times.

Not over religion.

Not over religion, but like

I've gotten into fights with Simmis where I've been screaming, and then like two days later I feel really bad, and then I go like on then I'm overly nice for like six months.

That sounds about right.

Yeah.

You send me the guy sometimes when we hear you ranting and raving on the phone.

That's what you're talking about.

It's usually Simmy on the other end.

There's been less of it, though, then I think in the beginning there was more of it, right?

Well, because of the whip dog syndrome.

But the latest thing was a Benjamin Cat shorts, which now I'm finally getting over.

Oh, yeah.

So I'm reaching out to Simmy

to try and build the bridges again.

This podcast is the olive branch.

Yeah, well, lunch the other day was the olive branch.

Right.

But he's also very funny, so I thought he'd be good on the show.

And I want to give him the opportunity to come on here and say whatever he wanted.

And I figured if he wanted to air grievances, he could.

That's like playing a Russian roulette, and you may say something that you may not like.

I know, but that's what I'm willing to do for our audience.

I'm sure every joker is a joy to work with, but who's the most

who's the one that's like that like that you go to?

Like, well, let me go to him.

He's absolutely the, he's the easiest, and I want to talk to him because he's the one that I

before you answer, though, why don't you guess?

Like, you know, you go to this person because he's the most level-headed one that, I don't want to say in a bad way, but like he's just easier to deal with than you know, because I'm sure they're all easy to deal with, but like he's extremely easy to work with.

I'm going to say it's

got to.

100% it's got to.

It's interesting.

I don't know.

I feel like I go to each of them for different sorts of things.

Yeah, Joe.

I mean, Joe's the one I go to most for

kind of nuts and bolts stuff with the show.

I feel like Q, yeah, with Q, it's either going to be, it's going to get super emotional and it's usually going to come around.

There's a lot of heart involved, involved, but that's what you're doing.

You're normally going back to Q for an apology for something.

Exactly.

You got to kind of buckle up when you're calling Q.

And most, you know, the conversations are going to get heated if it starts off with Q saying, you know, listen, I don't even give a shit about this.

I don't even care about this.

Like, you could do whatever it is.

Really, really cares about it.

Really means you really cares about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's usually.

Nobody speaks more passionately about how little they give a shit about something than Q.

Goes right to the fact that

he's only fooling himself oh yeah yeah completely so okay so it's joe then i mean there's no real answer to who's the easiest to talk to because you've ever talked to sal at all i was gonna say i talk sal and murr i talk to the least on in terms of uh like oh we'll text or whatever about about certain things but i feel like i talk to you i talk to joe most right um but does anybody have does that i probably does anybody have a personal relationship you with you like i have no right no that's the thing yeah i also kind of consider this to me a friend so we'll just text like how you say kind of right

Well, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I don't, no, I don't, I definitely don't have that level of a relationship with the other guys where I feel like, you know, we get into a fight really have at it, and then sort of come around.

So, yeah, it's a different relationship for sure.

Who would he be comparable?

Who is he the counterpart on Comb Bookman?

What is whose role is he?

So I just have an idea of who's in that work suit on Comb Bookman.

Oh, is this

the one that's probably Marco, who I don't think you know like you met him that maybe you met him that one day that he came in with his family on vacation?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

So

this is a powerful man.

This guy right here.

Oh, yeah.

I just ooze power.

You can tell, you can sense it.

Well, he

Simmy does guide the comedy in the show.

Like, if he doesn't like something, it doesn't get on.

So there is a

heavy hand.

I mean, I feel like sometimes, Q, you might disagree with this.

I feel like sometimes, like, our job is to sort of like, I feel like you guys could get close to it.

Obviously, you're like in it all the time.

And I feel like there are times,

there have been times, I feel like the times, sometimes when you and I have gotten into it, it's when there's something that you guys feel strongly about the fans are going to love, and I kind of look at it as like, yeah, but what about the, you know, all the first-time viewers, all the people who don't know the show so well, that sort of thing.

So I feel like that's sometimes when we get into it.

That's true.

So

you are always trying to appeal to the broadest audience possible because every episode may be someone's first episode.

So if they're calling something back.

Yeah, I mean, I look at, I love callbacks,

I love moments that sort of that fans can point to and love and feel like it's theirs.

But at the same time,

if there's something that specifically wouldn't be funny to people tuning in the first time or would feel kind of self-indulgent,

that's usually when I get in there and say, well, maybe we could do this a different way.

Trevor Burrus, Jr.: They seem like indulgent guys.

Do you find yourself crossing a lot of stuff off their list?

These jokers?

Honestly, I have have to say, there's very little.

I mean, there's not a lot that we reject at this point.

Oh, look at me.

He's looking at me.

Q is the most indulgent one, right?

Oh, yeah.

He's like, this is funny, Simby.

Yeah, I know funny.

I think that's come up a couple times.

Oh,

I know.

It's funny.

Should we get into the Staten Island map?

Should we get into that?

We can get in the Staten Island map, but I don't think you're going to win that one.

Okay, well,

we have a couple of members of the jury here that can help out with this one.

Ooh, trial.

Yes.

Fire ants.

All right, go ahead.

I thought ants.

Go ahead.

I don't think you're going to win this one.

No.

But I did apologize for this.

You did.

You did.

And you brought it up a bunch of times.

All right, great.

So

he's trying to go.

He wants to.

He cannot wait to tell you that.

He wants to.

He wants the violin.

He got the okay from Q.

He's like, fuck it, I'm going for it.

I'll just have this fan really going to be.

He won.

I lost this.

Q saying, I'm not going to win it now.

So now I'm going to win.

Well, you're not going to win in the trial by fire answer.

But

you won the call.

Well, this is a road game for me, I understand.

So I don't know how.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't.

These guys want me to be wrong.

Oh, perfect.

So here's what happened.

I was only on the show for a couple of weeks, probably at this point, and we were doing.

Really?

It was early on.

It was early on, yeah.

Because Dolgens had been there.

Adam Dolgence was overseeing the show, and then he left, and then I took over at that point.

I like Dolgens a lot, too.

Yeah, he's a good friend.

He brought me in.

He's a good friend of mine.

So what happened was we were designing a new show open, right?

If fans know the beginning of the show, it starts off and you see the guys, there's animation behind them and all that, and it's just, and

it's the graphic open for the show.

So

the guys wanted all these Staten Island icons behind them in the show open, which made sense.

I feel right away he's jumping a lot of impertinent facts.

All right.

You could fill on the place wherever you want.

Are there any important Staten Island landmarks?

Aside from the dump.

Well, you got the Verrizano Bridge, you got the Stan Island Ferry.

Right, which we put into the show open.

Sure.

I consider the Verrizano as belonging to Brooklyn, really, not Stanley.

Well, I'll give it a 50-50 thing on it.

So the guys took a look at the open, which looked amazing.

Well, we didn't.

Well, hold on.

Okay.

Let me stop you right there.

Yeah, go for it.

I remember where we were standing going into season three.

It was the day we were shooting the Fatone thing.

The day we were shooting with Joey Fatone at the diner.

And I remember we were backstage.

I was on house when I was on the phone with you about this.

I remember exactly where we were.

Yeah.

So go ahead.

Here's what happened.

Okay.

The third season of a show, at that point, they were arguably or not forming the network around us, right?

This is just my perspective.

Here it comes.

We did not even find out that there was new opening graphics for the show until they sent it to us.

So we were a little bit like, well, why wouldn't we be consulted on it?

Fair enough.

That was, that was.

That, okay, but that, right.

That's okay.

To be fair, that's not where you and I got into it.

That's not.

But I'm just saying, I'm just giving my mindset right away.

Okay.

So not consulted at all.

You're not going to ask the guy who knows funny.

So the show open comes in.

It looks great.

The guys love it.

They said, we just want some Staten Island icons in there.

We want something in there, right?

So Sal asked, so at one point, it freeze frames on Sal, and you see, I think it was the George Washington Bridge, or the Brooklyn Bridge.

He asked to change the Verrazano Bridge.

We made that change.

At the end,

you see, you see some water, they wanted the Staten Island Ferry, we did that.

Q requested, there's a freeze frame of Q standing at a hot dog vendor, which is the moment that you see when the show starts.

And it freeze frames, and you just see the blue sky behind you.

Q wanted a map of Staten Island behind him.

Now, it's just blue sky, so from a design perspective, it doesn't really make any sense.

So I talked to our design team.

They didn't,

you see me winning this one, Q.

I can see that look.

I don't see you winning this one.

All right, so keep going.

Let's go.

Talk to our graphics people, our design people.

You're probably going to win this one.

And

they said, listen, we don't have a lot of time to make a lot of changes.

We'll change the Verizona Bridge.

We'll change this.

No, no, no, no.

Why are we allowed to give input when they are under the gun and don't have a lot of time?

I totally hear you.

Again, not our fight, though, right?

Because I didn't even like me at the hot dog stand, by the way, but I didn't even mention that.

But anyway, you're too kind.

Too fallic.

Well, it's,

you know, it is.

Was it Wiener Circle?

They were just getting over the bad taste of the Wiener Circle.

I'm not even going to bring it back again.

Hey, what's with this Mulin Yan and the hot dogs?

Freeze frame.

That's me in the opening crowd.

Saying a racial slur.

Yeah, no, I'm glad they didn't go in that way.

Well, that was Wiener Circle's whole thing, man.

They loved it.

Yeah, I don't think they said Mulin Yan.

The company's not able to swing what he wants.

Well, right, so Q wants this Staten Island map behind his head with one request.

Which is kind of clunky.

It's not very

cool.

I mean, look, Q, I know that you love Staten Island.

I love Breaking Bad is one of my favorite shows.

I love pizza, but it'd be a little weird if in the opening credits for Breaking Bad, like a slice of pizza just floated by.

It just doesn't make any sense to have a map behind your head.

What were the opening credits of Breaking Bad?

It was just the elements, the table, the.

It was very quick, too.

It was very quick.

It was like 10 seconds.

Fine.

I'm still waiting to see why it's funny, though.

So what happened was

why he would use like funny.

Oh, no, no, no.

This is a different one.

This is an unrelated issue.

I was going to say, because I was like, Q, I was like, holy shit, I have to go fucking.

No, no.

I was a little misquoted there, too, by the way.

But yes, yes, yes.

I'm going to have to say that he thought the Staten Island map behind him was going to be funny.

Can you believe babyface over here?

Doesn't think a map can get yucks.

So, well,

we start getting into it on email.

Q starts sending emails talking about how, you know, this is our show.

How can we not get what we we want?

And I, and I said something like one request I had.

Right.

And I wrote back something like,

you know, listen, we gave you the Verrazano Bridge, we gave you this.

Maybe you just can't win them all.

And that was not the right thing to say to Q.

And then we started getting into it on text.

And then my favorite line that Q texted me that night, you could fill a book with our text messages that night was, Simmy, you're shaking a hornet's nest.

That was my favorite line.

There's a lot of alpha dogs in the Jokers, huh?

Yeah, I got four of them.

Well, I'm talking about it.

I'm talking about

the whole ensemble.

Yeah, what do you mean?

I mean, like, even behind the scenes, are there a lot of alpha dogs?

I don't know.

I mean, I think

like a shelter full of alpha dogs.

No, I mean, I think, honestly, I think it's a great team, and everyone really works together well.

That was a bump.

And it was fine, and we got past it.

Well, I remember,

from my perspective, was

this was still, to be fair,

in the dog whip days, you understand, when we were used to just catching shit all the time.

Right.

And we, like, for instance, the only time we ever threatened to walk off the show was

when they promised to put the Twitter handles.

You weren't there for this.

This was.

No, I was.

Oh, you were?

Yeah.

That was one of our fights about the Twitter handles in Act 4.

It was such a stupid little thing.

Are you sure?

No, no, it wasn't.

Oh, we're talking about different ones.

We're talking about something else.

It wasn't Act 4.

You're right.

It was the Twitter handles in general.

In general,

me.

We were promised them.

We wanted them.

Well, we were promised them.

And then the premiere was coming up, and they were saying, well, we're not going to put them in.

You mean like popping up in the graphics?

When we go on.

At the time, we had just started touring, so we were like, look, the Twitter is going to help us build the touring, and blah, blah, blah.

So True had, not True.

People over there were trying to pull it because

what's a hashtag going to mean in 20 years and all this stuff going on.

Re runs of Joker

Right, exactly.

Exactly.

Always thinking ahead.

Right.

It's going to run like the honeymooners.

So we had.

Every New Year's.

Memorial.

Honeymoon, Joe.

Hey, you know what?

So far.

So far it is.

That's true.

So we were, so the only time that we were able to really, the only way we were able to pull that off is just by threatening to walk off the show.

We were literally like, if it doesn't air next week with the Twitter handlers, we're walking off the show.

With the Twitter handles, we're walking off the show.

And that was just before Simmy came.

So that's what I meant by the shaking the hornet's nest thing because I was like, but I was also in a very bad thing.

In fairness, I do remember you saying, when I said,

You can't win them all, you said something like, you know, how many times I've lost in this battle with you guys?

And I was like, wait, this is a new, let's start a new relationship.

And that's when, that's when things started getting better.

You should come to, if you're ever, you know, if it ever turns out you, you, you know, you move on, you want to go.

Comic bookman, there's no alpha dogs.

It's all fucking lap dogs.

Yeah.

Everybody's the Zeta.

We just, we just, we just, whatever, like, crumb falls down, we, I mean, we scurry and try to push each other out of the way for it, but, you know,

a sly look, you'll get whatever you want.

Like a threatening hand up.

Yeah.

What do you want to say?

I'll say it.

You need to work on a show where people have absolutely no power whatsoever.

We don't have a lot of power.

We don't.

I will say, I think we're about to start season six.

I think the relationship's great.

And honestly,

I'm telling the truth here.

It's a great team.

It is.

And the four of them really are great to work with.

I mean, we've gotten into it, but that's only because we're both passionate about the show.

And,

you know, it always ends in respect.

And the last fight wasn't even about our show.

But it was.

So the map one was a little bit like I was just left over from just getting it from the network up the ass for fucking two years straight.

I like how you shrunk from I'm going to win this battle to

that he was going to lose?

Yeah, I just said that.

I lost the battle already.

There's another one.

What was the,

what did the graphic eventually turn out to be?

Just a blue sky.

Oh, it was just a blue sky.

It's Q standing there in front of a hot dog

cart, and then there's a blue sky behind him, which makes sense.

This doesn't make a lot of sense.

So it wasn't like a big Ange mural or something.

No, no, no, no.

And then.

Do you remember what

broke the argument on the phone?

On that one?

Yeah.

No.

Because you got upset that I was cursing.

Do you know?

That is what happened.

There's no way I got.

Oh, maybe.

if you were like, fuck you, I might have been.

No, no, no, no.

I was like, fuck this, fuck that, because you know how when I get angry, blah, blah, blah.

No, I would never, I would never, my anger would be like, go fuck yourself.

But you had said something to me, like, stop, would you just fucking stop cursing and stuff like that?

And then I was like, holy fuck, I am cursing a lot.

And then I was like, I was like, I'm sorry, Sam.

I was like, it's a fucking fire ass talk.

Like, I get angry.

We all curse at each other.

And you were like, no, I'm not.

And then you go, look, I'm not saying I'm not a man.

I can't take it.

I'm just, you were just like, you're just cursing a lot.

And then that sort of broke the argument, moved on.

Yeah.

So you didn't want to be viewed as like a lady having delicate sensibilities.

Exactly.

Do you have any psychology

courses and backgrounds?

My wife's a psychologist, so I you must talk to her about Q all the time.

I do, yeah.

Yeah,

I got a chance, Q.

Yeah.

He's playing you like a fiddle, man, like a fucking fiddle.

And I got three young daughters, so I'm daddy wrote a song about that.

there's i've heard stories and i wouldn't have thought it at first but as time has gone on i guess i can imagine it sal being sort of a diva like sal's very diva-ish huh

i don't know q you'd know better than me um nobody wants to commit sal is very particular yeah he does he likes things his way

and

if he does not he's all right when he doesn't get his way i'm trying to i'm not i'm not trying to be delicate.

I'm trying to word it in a way that it's understood.

Like,

if Sal feels he's right, you're wrong.

Right.

No matter what.

There's no margin of error.

There's a zero margin of error.

And that's when dealing with everybody on the show, that's what you have to deal with with Sal.

If he's late, if he's two hours late to set,

and you display annoyance about it, you're just as bad as the traffic that made him get late.

Does that make sense?

Like, there's no part of him that's just like, oh man, I held up, I'm sorry.

It was like, well, what the fuck did you want me to do?

That's Sal.

Leave earlier.

You can't say that to Sal.

Yeah, you can't say to Sal.

So that Sal's piccadillo.

I'll say, I mean, one thing that's always impressed me is that you guys, like, it seems like, I don't know, maybe, maybe this is just on the surface, but it seems like the four of you

put out fires in terms of fights amongst the four of you very quickly.

Very quickly.

You know, it's, I mean, you guys spend so much time together, the four of you.

And I've seen moments where you guys sort of snip at each other, and then it just quickly diffuses and I've always been impressed by that.

Yeah,

it has to.

Yeah.

What the fuck else are you going to do?

Yeah, but you look at how many bands have broken up.

You know, people spend too much time together and I feel like you guys have been able to make it work.

Yeah, it's been pretty good.

Actually,

I would say right now is the best we've been in three years.

It's great.

Like we've really kind of we sat down.

We had like

a Metallica, some kind of monster.

Sit down.

Your wife came in to immediately.

No, not with anything like that.

Just like the four of us sat down and opened the floodgates in terms of frustrations and hashed everything out.

Was it the trust tree?

Like anyone could say anything they wanted, or do you think people held back?

I can guarantee you nobody fucking held back.

Yeah, but we walked away from it a stronger, tighter unit.

Maybe that's what we should do.

We get a season seven.

We have some kind of monster thing.

Are we in need of one?

I thought everybody was on a good

term.

No, I mean, we could just go after Mike and Mingus and you just use it as an excuse.

But how does that work?

It's different from everything.

That's an episode.

Why would you waste that off-camera?

That's true.

Yeah.

So, Joe's the most reasonable.

Hugh, maybe.

Well, Joe's the most reasonable.

But, you know, it all goes in waves.

Like, there are times where Joe's reasonable, or there are times where Joe's not reasonable.

And same thing with you.

I feel like it just depends on how emotional you guys are about

the topic at hand.

Has anyone tried to push any agendas?

That's what happens with shows.

People get like, I know Joe's into the anti-bullying thing.

Yeah, I mean, I haven't seen that on the show.

But I know if they've asked us to not wear Tenderloin shirts, they've asked us not to wear Tell and Steve Dave shirts, but we've just ignored it.

I know Tell and Steve Dave shirt.

I think it was.

Did you hate the show?

Was that?

Did we just hate it?

Yeah.

No, I think it was because

it wasn't the executive.

It was the ads department.

They're like, well, why are we selling ads if you guys are advertising your own stuff for free?

It was like this whole thing.

We just ignored it and it went away.

For the most part,

for the most part, the network's a dream to work with these days.

It really is.

It kind of makes for a boring podcast interview, but

honestly, there's not a lot of drama between us.

I mean, I feel like the truth is,

we don't ask them to stop sort of pushing that stuff.

If you want to do something about the firehouse, we'd love to do something about the firehouse because the show is them.

I mean, it really is who they are.

So if it's Stanfall Maps aside.

Exactly.

Nonsensical Staten Island graphics.

Like, do you look back and think, like, oh, God, why was that a

map?

That's still deep inside.

You're hoping in a next Lego season coming up.

No, I've given up.

Now, and now I just.

Season seven, we're just going to have a big Staten Island map over your face.

I'd be okay with that.

I'd be okay with that.

But I mean, they do, like, they miss no opportunity to let the viewer know that they love Staten Island, that they're from Staten Island.

Shoving Staten Island down your throat.

Yeah.

Nobody cares.

Right?

And all four of you, right?

I mean, it's I feel like all four of you are pretty passionate.

Yeah, well, yeah.

Well, because they've got such a bad rap.

Is it a challenge now going into season six to pull off

challenges and not have everybody know who the fuck they are now?

Yeah, it's kind of amazing that like that more people don't in those moments.

And we always people ask about that all the time.

People on Twitter are asking about that today.

It's just, I think part of it, I've talked to Pete McFarland, who's the showrunner, we talk about this all the time, that it seems like part of it's the fact that if you watch the show, they go one at a time, right?

They're usually not all four of them out there.

So, you know, if Q's shopping, you know, if he's in

the produce of Fairway, and even if you know the show, it might take you a little while to realize that it's him as opposed to seeing all four of them together.

So I think out of context, some people don't, they just don't pick up on it.

I don't know, there's something about New York that people just don't seem to care.

There's so many tourists on Seven Mile Island.

It's like 17 mile.

How long has Manhattan?

It's pretty long.

So, anyway, we can get into the other stuff later.

What do you want to do?

You want to pitch shows?

I don't know if I could do it now.

I didn't know.

Because Simmy's Jewish?

Well, you can't pitch to a Jewish person.

Well, are you the kind of

Jewish person that, like, you won't turn on a light on Saturdays?

Or you will do that?

I actually wouldn't, but that doesn't, does that preclude you guys from pitching a show about using electricity on Saturday?

Because my brother-in-law, he works for a cable company.

And if he said that, there's a

certain people will call and be like, my TV doesn't work.

Yeah.

I haven't come out.

And then he'll turn the TV on because it works.

And I was like, Oh, okay.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

And they're like, They call being a Shabbos goi.

They find ways to

call their TV.

Being a Shabbos goi.

A goi is a non-Jew, and Shabbos Shabbat is like the Jewish Sabbath.

So it's like a non-Jew who can.

Some people, I mean, I wouldn't do this, but some people, you know, will find someone who isn't Jewish who lives in the apartment next door and ask them to turn on a light or turn on the light.

That's what I've heard.

There's a work around.

Yeah, there's a lot of loopholes in this room.

Practical jokers design, man.

How the fuck am I going to watch it?

You got to get into

them to come over.

It's not, it's not, it's probably frowned upon in Judaism.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that.

Everyone has different levels of observing, you know, different religions.

For us, I mean, if, if, you know, if a light's off and we need it on, I'd just turn it on.

But we, generally speaking, try not to and try to abide by it.

That's what you guys must, you're making

your wife as a psychologist.

I mean, why would you have to turn a light off ever?

Rolling in dead.

We just keep lights on all the time.

Right?

Yeah.

I guess the only fear would be the light bulb would burn out.

Well, I have Alexa that I go, Alexa, all lights on, and the lights come on.

Would you be allowed to do that?

Give what?

Like, you know, the Amazon voice assistant, Alexa?

My lights are hooked up to her.

So if I go Alexa lights on, the lights come on.

I saw them do it.

That still will be turning it on.

I think they'll be turning it on.

Exactly, because

you're initiating the spark, I guess.

And that's just Saturday?

Yeah, it's Friday night and Saturday.

It's from sundown on Friday until an hour after sundown on Saturday every week.

And then the Torah says nothing about Alexa, though.

There's nothing.

It doesn't mention Alexa or the clapper or anything else.

So life is actually a little easier for you on Saturdays in the winter.

It slows down, yeah.

Because it's darker at 4 o'clock.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, I mean, it's stressful leaving work because, like, if we have a deadline to meet and it's 3 o'clock, I just got to get out of there.

Because

that's one thing I won't mess with.

I'm definitely home by that time.

It just gets you out of work earlier.

I'm with you.

Exactly.

I'm with you.

It's great.

I mean, you shut, I mean, you imagine not using your iPhone for 25 hours.

It's pretty great.

I mean, it's, it's, there's a, and the family, like, I, again, I married, we got three kids, and it's nice to know that every Friday night, no matter what, and no matter how crazy my life is, I'm going to be sitting there with them, and it's going to be quiet.

So there's definitely some nice things about it.

You guys are thinking about it, huh?

I'm thinking about it, and that's pretty nice.

Yeah.

Yeah, but if the TV's not on, though.

Well, then you got to talk to each other.

Yeah.

So there's the...

You're staying Christian.

There's the rubber.

Well, I mean, but like after everybody goes to bed, though,

then you're like, well.

You're kind of bored.

Yeah, I'm like, oh, my God.

I would delay the TV on Thursday night then.

Make sure sure it just stays, you know.

Yeah, I mean, I'm a big Mets fan, so I've missed some major moments in the middle.

Did you like the World Series?

Yeah, yeah.

So

that's where.

You can light a candle?

You can, yeah, I mean,

God might leave a TV on in the basement, that sort of thing, and just happen to walk by.

Oh my God, did I leave that on again?

That's got to be like some major league cheating, though, right?

Yeah.

I mean, it's all, again, it's all in the loopholes.

If you're not technically turning it on, but people would say it's not in the spirit of the Zap.

Do you have like a sort of like what Christianity has like a confession would you have like a rabbi you confess to like I left a TV on purpose

was on?

No I just you know so you don't even so there's no repercussions yeah it's more just between you and the man upstairs I guess but could you

could you set a timer to go on?

You could you could it's so it's people do that and people you know we set timers on our lights in the house that's sort of

because you also have kids so safety is a concern exactly so if it's if it's safety related like I will use like for instance we have a we just just bought a house, so we have an alarm on the house.

On Shabbat, I'll set the alarm, even though it's electricity, just because it's for safety, that sort of thing.

So it's, again, everyone does it case by case.

And you've always been religious since you were young?

Yeah.

Since a kid?

Yeah, since I'm a kid, it's always been the same level, pretty much.

And there's people, you know, there are plenty of religious Jewish people who would listen to this and say, like, oh, he's, you know, he's not religious if he does this.

And there are other people who would say, oh, he's crazy religious because he does that.

So it just, it just varies.

Wait, judgmental religious people?

No.

No, I refuse to believe it, Believe it or not.

So you don't feel comfortable with it.

Maybe if Brian read it.

You can.

I got my own stuff to read.

Comedy.

Well,

I work at a comedy network.

If you got a comedy show,

Brian said, come up with, let's say, what was the scenario?

Like,

one of the jokers passes away.

And we need to fill, they need to fill the roster.

We had that.

Remember with the Gator punishment?

We had those conversations.

That's right.

There was a conversation.

If I died,

what would they do?

We literally,

I was on calls with our legal team because we had a punishment for Q, let off season three in Miami, where he had to wrestle a backpack off of an alligator.

And we had conversations with our legal team, and on the call, they were like, okay, so if Q gets eaten by the alligator, what are we going to do?

Legitimate questions.

I mean, the question really is the show could never survive if they die on screen.

Like Twilight Zone.

It'd be so much better.

But we just wouldn't air that word.

We could keep going.

But he was saying,

we would pitch

a play to fill that that roster spot.

Using the remaining three guys.

So I die.

Who not you?

Well, let's go with me because it's funnier that way.

So I die, and then you're pitching shows that the other three guys can do?

Or just to take that time slot?

We're going to come in with

the joker.

We're going to try to fill your

void left behind.

These are ideas that I would come with.

And I'd be like, hey, guys, I'm the new Joker.

Here are my ideas because you guys come up with ideas, right?

Right.

It's not all that Casey Joe's character, right?

Right.

I can't imagine that.

Okay.

All right.

So you have

potential Joker bits.

Challenge.

And if he says these and he uses any of them and you use any of them.

Yeah, we might be in some legal problems.

It'll be all right.

Just throw them some

check.

Yeah, like send me a shirt or something.

All right, so like an old wiener circle shirt that didn't sell.

All right, so you can't.

How many bits did you go up with?

Oh, no, the whole book is.

I just made three.

I thought

three would be good.

This is good because this is what we do with Simmi.

Yeah, let's do it.

Okay.

So

I come in and I'm like, all right, guys,

we're going to do a show where each of us has to man like a suicide hotline.

Yeah.

People calling in and like, we're going to say to Sal, like, like, somebody calls in and they're like, hey,

I'm really down, man.

Life is dark.

Like, my six-year-old just died of leukemia.

And Sal has to keep saying, I know how you feel.

And then come up with, then you give him something like, I know how you feel, but something that's not even on par with like, so it's like, I know, I got stuck in traffic for a half hour.

Or like,

he's like, like,

the woman's like, oh, my kid died of leukemia.

And Sal's like,

I know exactly how you feel.

I was at the Starbucks and some tweens were making fun of my muffin top.

Like something like that, right?

Well, you know, speaking of somebody who works at a comedy network,

you had me at my son died of leukemia.

And, you know, you can just feed the inappropriate stuff, and whoever gets the person to stay on the line the longest without hanging up, they would win, all right?

Well, you want to, you want to take these one by one, Simmy, or yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

You can't get better than that.

No, you might be able to.

But you know, that's not going to go.

No?

Is that the idea for the whole series?

Is it you guys just answering?

But no one's, you don't know for sure someone's going to call up and say that about their child.

Yeah, I mean, it's got a couple other problems, so that's one of them.

Yeah.

No, but you don't know that that's going to be, someone's going to actually call and say that's why they're calling the hot hunt.

Right.

Yeah.

it could be something

else incredibly depressing.

It could be just me like I broke up my girlfriend.

Uh-huh.

It may not be that heavy.

They're reaching out for help, though, and you're and you're trying to one-up them with lame-ass shit.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, that's Brian's scenario, yeah.

Right.

Sounds like that's where he's going with it.

Okay.

All right.

You got the gist of it.

I don't think that one's going to fly.

You don't like that one?

A couple of goes.

Yeah, well, one, there's no camera on the suicidal person, so you don't get to see them kill themselves if they do.

Yeah.

You do it on Skype.

You could make them smile and say.

Do you you do Skype suicide highlights?

Yeah.

Probably not.

I don't know, but I bet you see a lot of hot tattoo chicks if you do.

A lot of like older lonely guys.

Do you have tattoos?

You don't have to.

Are you not allowed?

I think you're not supposed to.

It's not my thing anyway.

I have a low tolerance of pain.

In a cemetery, do you have tattoos?

I don't know if that.

I think they, again, loopholes.

One of my best friends is Jewish.

He said that to me.

Oh, yeah?

Sunday Jeff.

Sunday Jeff.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, it's not my thing, though.

Yeah.

But Sunday Jeff,

he's not.

He's not, yeah, he's not as practice.

He doesn't practice like

he turned shit on right and left on Saturdays.

On Saturday, yeah,

he turned to TV and radio.

You're not even supposed to drive a car, right?

Yeah, no, we don't

drive.

How old are the kids?

My kids?

Yeah, pretty young, right?

Eight, five, and two.

So are they still in the phase where they're not rebelling against that yet?

Not yet.

But you see that coming.

I think

what worries me is, you know, growing up, like, we didn't have iPhones.

But the notion of,

for us, it was a matter of you can't pick up the phone.

You can't take the phone off the wall and make a call.

But now it's like your whole life is your phone.

So I think that's going to be hard to be a hard battle.

They have a lot of friends who also do this on Saturday or are they a lot of friends who don't do this?

Both.

They have both.

Again, it's really just my eight-year-old, my five-year-old and two-year-old are a little too young for it.

So when we get into the future where they're like putting chips inside your eyes

and stuff like that, it's going to be some issues.

Already, you know, when we deal with it in hotels, because hotel rooms aren't really keys, it's all key cards, right?

So

that's all electronic.

So that's a good example of

people who are much more religious than I am,

they'll just keep it open.

They'll just leave and they'll leave the latch open and just hope for the best.

So the key is to find out where those people are staying and then take a latch out.

But for us, if we're away on the Sabbath and we'll use the key card.

There's no way around it.

Yeah, and other people would say, well, there's a way around it, but we just don't think it's a smart way.

So it's those kinds of things that I think are going to get harder in the future, for sure.

I feel like we're sort of steering away from it.

Yeah, let's get back to suicide hardware.

Okay, sorry, sorry.

This next one, this would be like a joker-on-joker challenge.

Isn't that what they call it?

Yes,

that's when only two of us go.

Right.

So two of you are on a,

say

Sal and Joe, right?

Are in a bathroom stall together, and there's a glory hole.

And some guy comes on the other side.

I feel like you're not taking this exercise seriously.

You're the one that came up with this.

On the other side.

So it's like how, what's his name?

The Candy Camera did the naked Candy Camera.

You guys could be Jokers After Dark.

Right, okay.

Right.

All right.

And they're in a bar where like a glory hole wouldn't be like shocking, right?

Right.

So what you guys have to do is like, remember like when you went to the mall and you're like, which one of us is

worse looking?

Or whatever?

It would be like that.

Like you would undermine each other's blowjob skills.

Wait, we actually got to blow people?

Well, no, it ends when it comes through.

Like, he's like, I picked that guy.

And then it comes through.

You can't do it.

Oh, so we got to make the case for why our glory hole should be the one that's penetrated?

Why, yeah.

They're side by side.

I mean, Simon, you want to feel this one up?

Sure.

I didn't think I'd say this, but can we go back to Suicide Hotline?

All right, I got one more.

All right.

This is a punishment.

You have to go into a grocery store.

Like, you know how, like, at Costco or something, they give away, like,

like a Vienna sausage or whatever, little samples.

One of the guys has to set up in a highly ethnic neighborhood, and they're promoting a new bleach called White Power.

And they have to.

And they have to try to get someone to buy it.

So you want to.

So what is the idea that you're trying to do here, Brian?

Are you trying to make it so you would never pitch Simi again?

Like,

how is this making Simi eager to work with you?

Well, you might text him in the future, and you'd be like, oh, he was just kidding her out.

Those weren't real ideas.

So you got that.

He's got Hitler.

He's got anti-Semitic stuff.

At least mine is just a lot of people.

No, no, it's not.

That third one sounds like the kind of stuff we've actually done on the show.

White power?

With a black name of this?

Well, maybe not quite that.

You could say that to a white person to see how they react.

But you got got to sometimes push the line a little bit.

I mean, maybe not to that level.

He wants to squash it.

Yeah, I said when I first, when I heard that right there, I was just like, that to me sounds like it would be a gag because it's, you know, it brings up all the uncomfortableness of the guys having to

pretend they don't understand the connotation

of the brand.

Sure.

And like, you know, having to play the oblivious joker.

Well, how about this?

Q takes place in Staten Island, that would you think?

Okay, that's good.

Sound embarrassing?

I mean, I don't even think anyone would look sideways.

Oh, yeah.

Staten Island might not even notice.

They'd be like, cool, I'll take some.

So, all right, so you think that we can get that

white power bleach throat?

No, I don't.

Okay.

Just to be clear.

It's better for Jokers After Dark.

I think it's of the three, it was the one that,

yeah, but it still felt a little far away, a little off-brand.

I had an alternate in Practical Coroners.

Okay, what do you pretend you're a coroner and you have like now when you have students around right

and the guys tell you to say stuff to the corpse or you see or you claim the corpse is your mom?

The cadaver.

Could we get away with a fake corpse underneath a thing, or do you have to see the corpse?

You would want to see a little bit of it

because they're not going to have a sheet.

They're not going to show a corpse.

Even like a, let's say,

like a walking dead-looking corpse.

They look good.

Yeah, but then you.

you.

What do you mean?

Oh, like a made-up, makeup.

Yeah, there's makeup.

Oh, I don't know, Sim.

Could we do that?

Maybe.

So, how would it play out exactly?

So, we're teaching a core.

We're the professors in an autopsy course.

Yeah, like say like a Quantico.

Yes.

Now you're in down in the FBI headquarters.

I mean, I fought like a local.

All right, so CSI has a College of St.

Alan has a mortician's course.

And then we have a fake dead body setup.

Or even better, one of the jokers is the body

on the table.

Shenanigans and Sue.

Could we get away with that?

Yeah, I could see.

I mean, it's a little like we did a CPR bit, right, a few years ago.

It's a little more morbid, but

you could probably do something in a coroner's office.

I don't know about the Joker being the corpse because that's more of like jump out and yell boo.

It doesn't seem like our show so much, right?

You see what I deal with?

This is what he does with all these jokes.

Sorry, you know what?

You know, funny.

Let's just give a kick.

I gave you four solid fucking bits.

All right.

What do you got?

Maybe I'll just stay on comic book, man.

Fuck it.

So, well, you got to hit me up with something.

Don't worry about the fact that I'm Jewish.

All right.

No, it's not bad in that way, but it does now.

You're sound like you're hard to please.

Oh, yeah, because I didn't say yes to the suicide hotline comedy hour.

That makes me tough.

This idea spun out of Brian asking me to come up up with Impractical Joker scenarios.

And I was trying to come up with something where

you guys were given high colonics, but I couldn't figure it out.

But then something else, I had this other idea of a show based kind of like Impractical Jokers, but each week

it's a different contestant pool.

And the challenges

are always the same, but there's just twists on them.

And it could be produced by the Jokers.

It could be like from, you know, in Practical Jokers Brewster's show.

I'm taking the name from an old bit we did on Tell him Steve Dave called, Are You Worse Than Hitler?

Okay.

So it would be a challenge-based game show where a pool of five new players every week are given a series of four tasks to complete until four players are eliminated and one person remains to become, you know, the champion of that.

that episode.

Does that person have to prove that they're worse than Hitler?

It's a tall fucking order.

Well, it's a name only.

Obviously,

we're just using the title because you've heard that phrase, are you worse than Hitler?

I'm familiar with the phrase.

Yeah, I've heard of this guy.

Does it have anything to do with

what the show is, though?

Well, it's what we're going into here.

Sure.

If the producers, which would be you,

when you take this on, feel

the show works better if everyone but the contestants are in on the joke, I'm open to that too.

Like, so, like, we just, the contestants.

I'm glad that you're flexible.

The contestants

six months from now, I see Walt screaming in a phone.

Or Simmy.

What's going on in New Jersey behind me or nothing?

You know what I'm saying?

Like, the contestants think they're going out in the real world and trolling

like what the guys do.

Yeah, but it's really a reverse.

It's reversed, so they're going out,

but everybody's in on the joke.

You just get hire actors or anything.

We have a show that's a lot like that, actually.

I'm true.

It's a guy like this.

Fameless.

Fameless.

Yeah.

Oh, so now you're just stealing ideas.

Oh, wait a minute.

I don't know if Fameless has done this one yet.

So every week, these

four challenges.

They work in a hot dog joint in Chicago called The Winter Circle.

And they escalate.

Challenge one would be called the Are You Worse Than Bernie Madoff Challenge.

Okay.

And every week that challenge is based on scamming.

So the first week it could be you had to scam a retirement village.

You had to go door to door and use your skills in scamming them.

And whoever scams scams the least gets eliminated.

Okay.

And the old people that they're scamming are real people?

It could be.

It could be.

Okay.

Okay.

So this is where you're flexible.

The old people could be in on it.

Or we could go cold and you just really go into a retirement community and see which actors.

You try to take advantage of seniors.

You could give them the money back at the end.

That's kind of you.

And they're doing it.

He's all for a game, though.

And after, you know, after they've given over, let's say, their life savings, you could be like, thank God.

And also, you helped them out.

You're like, don't be so gullible.

Right.

What the fuck's the matter with you, asshole?

So that's the Bernie Madoff challenge.

That's challenge one.

We eliminate the person who doesn't get the most, whoever gets the least amount of scamming money is eliminated.

And then there were four

standing.

And then we go into,

are you worse than Jared from Subway Challenge?

What's that?

Oh, yeah.

Are you worse than?

I hope not.

Are you worse than Jared from Subway Challenge?

Every week, this challenge is child predator-themed.

Uh-huh, sure.

So let's say on the premiere episode, we get one contestant where all the contestants have to go into a Parker playground dressed oddly, quote-unquote, where they have thick Coke bottle glasses, dirty-stained t-shirts, super tight sweatpants, and they must ask and receive permission from parents to take photos of his or her child on the playground.

I'm awfully familiar with describing what this person looks like.

Well, he picked me up to come here today.

Contestant who gets the least amount of photos is eliminated.

We're three.

What a loser.

Suddenly, my ideas seem good.

Challenge, and then go to the third challenge.

Brian, you got anything else on that?

Are you worse than Osama bin Laden challenge?

Uh-huh.

Every week, this challenge is terror-sympathizer-themed.

Okay.

Week one

on the premiere episode, you always have to change the challenge, but it'll always be this theme.

So every week, you know what the themes are.

Contestants must go door-to-door or go to a university dressed dressed in Middle Eastern attire and ask for donations for Americans for ISIS Foundation.

Whoever gets the least amount of donations is eliminated.

So whoever wins the game, whoever wins at the end of the episode gets sent away to a Supermax prison.

Is that the idea?

No, none of these people.

I mean, these are all done.

Right.

It's tasteful.

This is a mirror turned on society.

Sometimes we see the people who...

are good.

And then we see sometimes people who will donate or who will.

How far will they go to win the prize, Mike?

At the end, I'm sure they'll sign a release.

Everyone's face is blurred in every episode.

So then there are two standing.

So this is the final challenge.

Always, the final challenge is: Are you worse than Hitler's challenge?

Sure.

And the final challenge is always Nazi-based.

You can't hear that enough in a pitch.

Always.

The final.

But no, not just in the pilot.

Every episode, the final one is Nazi-based.

You still with me?

Is that how you pitch a practical joker?

There was a great Hitler bit in a practical joke.

Wasn't it?

One of my favorite ones ever when you guys were acting as caricature artists, and there were people sitting on the other side.

Hitler eating a banana?

It was Hitler eating a banana.

I think it was Joe's.

I mean, they're drawing a picture of a girl, and then at the show, it turned it was Hitler eating a banana.

But do you remember the network notes on that?

Wait, were you watching?

Before my time, that was before my name.

The note on that was, we can't say Hitler.

It wasn't Hitler eating a banana.

It was a dictator eating a banana.

Oh, interesting.

Because the network didn't want us to say Hitler.

It was one of those other dictators with a small mustache.

Yeah.

So you had to think of an entirely new name for your fucking show.

No, no, no.

I don't think this could ever.

I think, don't you think that if this was a web-based series, it would be in me, like, it would be the talk for maybe for like a month or two?

Yeah, I can't see a single flow of this idea.

I think it's perfect.

Let's just go right.

Put it right on TV.

No, no.

You're saying do a web series because you can do anything you want.

Yeah, but

I think it would set the internet ablaze.

True, is it?

If you had people who are really, like these five contestants were really willing to go and say these things, and if they weren't in on the joke, how far are they willing to go to win?

How worse are they willing to be to get the prize money?

How much is the prize money that you got?

$100,000.

Per episode.

Per episode.

That's easy, right?

Well,

True's too cowardly to take on this idea.

Yeah, I think.

Lots for sure.

But just like the Jokers, how you are, they are fed lines.

Let's say in the Nazi-based challenge,

you have to go to your, maybe you set up a family, all actors, kids, and you have to, the two remaining contestants are vying for

this is the Nazi-themed challenge.

You have to go in, maybe dressed as a Nazi party clown.

Right.

Like Jerry Lewis in that movie?

No, you just have, you have, you're definitely a leader, no doubt about it.

You walk into the house and you have to.

You go step into the house.

You got your clown makeup on.

Maybe you got some

swastikas around your eyes.

Who's going to do this?

Like,

you get five desperate people who want to be on TV, who are willing to do it for the prize money they think is there.

I agree.

You don't think this would come out like Bum Fights, where people were like, oh, how big was Bump Fights for like a month?

Yeah, but then everybody hated everybody to do with Bum Fights.

Like, it's like deplorable.

Like, people were just like, fuck those guys.

Like, what about?

We tried to watch Bum Fights and we couldn't even get through it.

Where was Bum Fights?

Oh, you don't remember Bum Fights?

No, it was like early 2000s.

No, I think

late.

Yeah, you're probably late.

Bum Fights was.

You could order a DVD of people who would pay bums to fight each other.

They would just go in alleyways.

It was like cockfighting, but it would just be costs.

They would videotape and then sell a DVD.

Oh, God.

But it wasn't.

Mine wasn't even on DVD.

It was a tape.

Yeah,

and they had

Steve Irwin was still alive.

And they had the Bum Hunter.

Oh, he wasn't involved.

No, no, no, no.

That would be amazing.

I mean, that would be fucking crazy.

In between the

bum cock fights, they would have this guy called the Bum hunter who dressed like Steve Irwin.

Do you know, you don't remember this?

He dressed like Steve Irwin and he put on a fake Australian accent.

The bum hunter sounds like a porn.

And he would, and he would go into abandoned villains and late and alleyways.

Yeah.

And

bums would be sleeping.

Bums.

Helmos.

Homeless people would be sleeping.

And suddenly they'd flick on that light.

And then, and it was all real.

Yeah.

And you would just see the bums go, like they would be terrified.

And then this guy would leap on them and talk about them like they were crocodiles and tie them up.

Like tie their hands behind their fucking arms.

They probably thought they were going to be killed.

I mean, it was.

And like, almost to the one,

almost to the bum, they would like, they would just get submissive and just stop fighting.

And then the guy would say that after they would trust up and be like, now look here, we got this bum.

And they would make up a fake history of the bum.

And then they would just cut to a bum cockfight.

Oh my god, it's got to be on YouTube, right?

I got you.

Oh, yeah.

It made millions.

Hold on, let me see.

How much did it make?

Oh, so much money.

Well, how come?

Well, that's what I'm saying.

So you don't think this could set the button

all in lawsuits.

Lawsuits, how?

If it's all actors, and we get only the five contestants,

we're showing them, they're turning, like, we're showing them how soulless they are and how, and, you know, teaching lessons, like, man, don't always just look for money and fame.

Seems a little heavy for us.

Yo, don't, don't, don't sell your soul or sell your

what's it called?

your

ethos,

you know.

Just for a quick buck, you know.

Yeah, but don't you think that

Nazi imagery is going to

But that's why you can't well you can't call it Ary worse than Hitler, then.

And that is that is a phrase that's that's bandied about a lot.

It also says, like, like I said when I first said it, I mean, you really shouldn't be using that phrase because there's nothing worse than Hitler.

Let's take it out of the lexicon using this game show.

It should be like tell them Steve Dave's first original web series, right?

I don't know.

Setting the bar pretty high.

First episode, we can get Ming,

Frank,

if Ming starts acting in this manner, you're not going to get another season of Comic Book, man.

That could ultimately be.

Yeah, but if we get

Bum Hunter money for that month,

we can retire on it.

Yeah, that's bum hunter fuck you money.

I don't know, but like, but why is it so horrible, though, if it's, if the only people who are in on it are the contestants, though?

And it's almost like a social commentary, though.

Because you're having a children's party with a Nazi clown.

But everybody's in on it, though, except the contestants.

So you're giving them the, they have to spew this vitriol, this horrible vitriol as the Nazi clown.

And they And they're like, are they torn?

Are they going to do it?

Just like you guys, like, are you going to say this horrible thing?

It's not as bad as this, but are they willing to say, like, they have index cards, they don't know what they are, and they're the most

racist, ugly things ever.

Right.

And they have to say it in the course of their clown act.

And if they can't do it, if they blink and they're like, I can't do it, then

they lose.

And if they, and if they do it, then they win.

And then they find out that they do.

But if they joke at it with like, well, it really shows you what they do.

They win, but they lose because

the family was all in on it anyway.

They were actors paid to do it.

But it's like,

is the reveal like a laughing good time?

To who?

To anyone.

Is it uncomfortable comedy?

A la the office, a la, like, um, isn't it all like, like, watching them squirm and be like, oh my god, can I say these things?

Can I do this?

But yeah, but well, the office is a little different because it was scripted.

I feel like if like Michael Scott walked in in a Hitler costume, at least it was a writer who came up with it.

It wasn't an actual person walking into a nursing home and stealing money from you.

I'll do it for the possibility of 100 grand.

Dude, I feel like funerals with a Z may be our last.

We've got one more.

We were refining it the other day.

I knew I shouldn't have hitched it.

No, I think it was.

I knew it was going to be a tough room.

It's a tough room.

I know funny.

Holy shit.

But I mean, it's all about using the, it's all about also like showing people like,

don't use these phrases because.

You might win $100,000 if you do it.

I didn't think about that.

You're literally giving $100,000 to the worst piece of shit.

To whoever's willing to be the most like Hitler.

I mean, But you know that, but you're also going to sympathize with him, though.

You wanted the audience to be.

They're not sympathizers?

No, because they know they're not.

You know they're not Nazi sympathizers.

You know they're not terrorist sympathizers.

You know they're not child predators.

They just have it in them.

They're thrown into the mix and they're like, holy shit, I got to do this or I don't win.

What am I willing to do to win this?

Am I willing to sell out on everything I believe in?

Or not?

See, all right.

Now, that is a great log line, right, for a show yeah if you strip everything else away yeah it just feels like it just feels every other detail it feels like the examples that you've come up with are not the most saleable but the idea is sellable look at you of like i know right

uh correct me if i'm wrong so no no like the idea that log line's a good one of like what are people willing to sell out what ideals are they willing to sell out for money but i just think there's probably

better examples than

you don't think that it's you don't think that like having having to like try to be like the reactions are hysterical well they're not because you're you're saying that they're faked well we can go with we can go with people who are are unaware but I think then you're really oh so you could send somebody as Hitler going into an actual Jewish family and seeing how that works is that the idea

that one you can never you can never have someone call don't be insensitive to me

I don't know what I was thinking guys Sarah I don't know if I

know that one the clown clown one has to be the, that has to be set up where only the contestants are oblivious to what's going on.

Yeah.

But then.

And it just, it's a mirror.

Like, you shine, you're like, oh, I won.

I haven't mentioned you.

What did I, at what cost did I win?

So you have to live with yourself and your $100,000 in cash.

But everyone's like, what a piece of shit.

He's like, at least I got $100,000 after taxes.

Let's make it something

more digestible.

Like $10 million?

No, let's make it $10,000.

That's not a lot.

I thought you were going to adjust the creative.

Yeah, exactly.

He's like, I don't want to be a monster.

Forget what I said before.

Texter.

Make the money less.

But even, like, you don't think, I know, like, terrorism is an important issue.

It's in right now.

But, like, if you go, if you go up and you don't think, like, going out and being like, hey, I'm trying to get donations for America's for ISIS,

and you have to, like, sell it and you're like, can I get a dollar?

Can I get a dollar?

Yeah, but you only have one reaction.

The reactions are going to be great.

That's where that's the humor.

That's where you're like, are you kidding me?

No, I don't know.

You're going to get people who just kind of look horrified and say, no, thanks.

I'm not interested in walking away.

I feel like that's the thing with jokers is that it's more, I think the absurdity is what makes jokers, you know, you have, I don't know, if it's that heavy, I just kind of feel like.

Someone soliciting for ISIS takes a real risk of like getting beaten.

Yes, that's

right.

Well, then everybody in the park is in on it then.

And they have to like, they have to like convert.

They have to chase the predator

through the park and like get him.

That'd be amazing.

I'd watch that.

I'd watch it.

All right.

Well, what about this?

Funerals with a Z?

This is our last shot.

Sim, do you take pictures of the network or no?

I mean, not like this, but yeah.

So I didn't even know that about you.

I didn't know you took pictures.

Yeah.

So you, you, you, like

somebody's agent will set up a meeting with True.

Yeah.

And why do they pick you to go into, because it's not just you, right?

There's a team.

So how do they, which ones get assigned?

So it depends on, so often they go through the vice president, the VP.

So I'm an executive producer.

So Angel, for instance, is my boss.

And she's a VP.

So she has, you know, she's worked with the VP level, usually they work more with the managers and the agents.

So they, they,

depending on who those agents and managers have a relationship with, they'll send it to different people.

Sometimes a pitch will come in through Marissa and she'll just say, oh, I think Simmy would be good to take this, or I think someone else would be good to take this.

So funerals with a Z.

Sounds like it's right.

We were trying to refine it yesterday.

We were sitting around talking.

Walt says,

you go out on your man on the street type interview, and you're like, hey, did you hear Vanilla Ice died?

And then you get that person's reaction.

Okay, you tell them, like, we're getting some sound bites for tonight's news

with such-and-such such news.

We're getting some sound bites, you know, man on the street reactions to the news today.

They're like, oh, I didn't hear it.

It's a death every week.

Yeah.

Okay.

Or maybe a couple of deaths a show.

It couldn't care.

It's not just one case.

One couldn't care.

These are just like, Danny, I know you guys probably want to move away from some of these D-list guys, but like, or C-list, I shouldn't say D.

I'm sorry, Vanilla.

I apologize, Robert Finnwinkle.

You know, like, you know, people who are like, people who are instantly recognizable to the public, they have, will have a reaction, like Bonaducci or

Tone Loke local.

If you just say, hey, you know, did you hear the news today?

He passed away.

Can we get your feelings on this?

You know, because people did it with Bowie.

He would be too big for this, though.

Yeah.

And it would be, you don't want universally liked.

Yeah, you want to get a chance of them saying, like, well, I

didn't like him, and he was a clown, or

he was the worst thing about rap music ever, or whatever.

And then you have to go around the corner.

Vanilla's popular.

Why are you dissing me like that?

And then they got to backtrack.

And will they backtrack?

And by the end of the segment, will they be like, you know, I actually did, I like you.

I'm going to go pick up your album this week or something.

Yeah, and it's like, word to your mother.

It's easy to book.

You definitely get those.

I think vanilla eyes might be free.

Well, I mean, you could just take all the people that are on your other shows, like World's Craziest or World's Wildest, this or that.

We don't do it anymore.

We used to have Danny Bonaducci on the show.

I feel like we're moving away from all that.

Only A-list celebrity.

You must still have Tanya Harding's phone number, though.

then but then we it then like you bookend it with like celebrity celebrity announcements like that and you you kind of like get the you it's kind of gotcha for the uh the pedestrian you're like oh

you are alive you also get that moment where like they like they thought a dead person just popped up that they you just were they thought was dead for a few seconds i don't know if the reaction is going to be that like shocking i do they i don't know yeah i don't know you guys really believe in this one we do we were so much so we were going to shoot some test footage yesterday using me but we were we were afraid no one would know me by name.

It would be like, Did you hear Brian Johnson died?

Like, who's that?

So, then we were like, Should we just go to people that definitely know me 100%?

Like Tom from Reedy's.

We'd be like, Hey, Brian died, and then see what he says.

Then I'd pop out.

You think he's going to bad mouth you?

Yeah, I was going to say, there's nobody going to bad mouth him.

What if

so?

We don't have the test footage.

But wait a second.

What if you looked up shit that people said on Twitter about famous people?

And then.

But for the most part.

But that was called Haters.

Wasn't there.

I was just positive there was a show called Haters.

But you're not getting.

People

are so much more unlikely to talk bad about the dead.

That's why if you can get that one person to be like,

you know, who's kind of in the moment and is like,

I couldn't stand them.

The thing is, I feel like the reactions you're going to get are mostly mostly people just being like, oh, that's so sad.

You know?

And I don't know what to do.

Like, Tomo died.

Well, that's why we go with the real ones in the middle of the show then.

Uh-huh.

Tomo died.

Tell them about the real people who write in, who want to do, who want to stage a funeral on someone they know.

A funerals.

Oh, yeah, yeah, because you were talking about

that show

Cheaters.

Yeah, you've ever seen the show Cheaters?

No.

You've never seen the chat.

I don't think so.

You never saw that footage where he got stabbed and fell off the the boat?

If you thought your

significant other was cheating on you,

you could hire this TV show to set up cams and to follow him around and expose.

And you could expose them on camera.

And you would have the host then be like, why'd you do this?

He's all upset.

Or she's all upset.

And

you'd have

testimonials in between the footage of

I'm so broken up about this.

I can't believe she did this to me or he did this.

How'd they get people to sign for that?

They must have tricked him into signing somehow.

Well, sometimes they blur out the face of the chair, obviously.

You know, they wouldn't sign off.

But on funerals, though, let's say your boss is treating you like a dick.

Obviously, not like this.

Prison company's clear.

They won't put a map up standing by.

It's like, boss, that you feel like

your work is not being appreciated at the office.

You set up a funeral

set up.

And you have.

This isn't the way you pitched to me, though.

No, I don't want to.

Because I know, because I can tell, because this one's a little bit more palatable than if I said family.

Oh, you're trying to water it down?

Oh, this is the watered-down thing.

That's good to know.

I'm glad you're holding back.

And you go in.

He's trying to sell it.

I know, no, I hate for you to say something offensive.

You sell the co-workers and the boss, you have someone go in at like somebody, a fake copy who's on his way to work today.

I just want to let everyone know

Bill passed away on the way into work today.

Just look at his face.

He's like, so far, so good.

Bill's dead.

Keep talking.

It's not a no yet.

Bill passed away on the way to work today.

And

I just want to let everyone know.

And then

what happens?

And then they have a memorial service.

Bill gets to hear, there's been fake cameras set up beforehand, and Bill gets to hear the aftermath

of

how they really felt about him.

Should Bill go back to work ever again?

People are like, oh, fucking, thank Christ.

Maybe that's what he's looking for, and that he felt unappreciated, but then he sees all the love

and all the appreciation that they really did have.

Do you think seeing people actively mourning would make really fun television?

Well, just for a little bit.

It's not like you go through the whole funeral.

It's definitely not a comedy.

Right, okay.

Just so you know.

Is there a Z in it?

Yeah, funeral.

Yeah, it sounds comfortable to get the young graphic.

You got to get the young gentleman graphic.

Okay, got it.

And you're just funerals.

It might just get, you know, you might be getting only the geriatric crowd.

You might not be, wondering, might not know what it is, but you want that Z on the end so you get the young people.

No, all the kids are lost.

You don't want the old people.

Put the hashtags somewhere.

Hashtag funerals.

And then you reveal, though, you reveal, he comes out and he's just like, he says, like, I've been feeling down.

I've been feeling like my work wasn't appreciated.

I call the suicide hotline.

And, you know, I'm just going to.

I tried to to get a blow job in a glory.

It's a mending thing.

And it could go bad, too.

They could be like, the aftermath, they could be like, this is really weird that you do that.

We can replace Bill.

He sucked at his job or whatever.

So it's not going to the actual funeral.

No, no.

You don't have to.

Okay.

It's the burial.

The cop is barely done with the announcement before they have a temp in there.

Bill's like, what the fuck?

HRs are

closing the case

on his file.

Originally, you pitched it as, like, it was a dad who,

like,

the cop was telling

his wife and kids, like, oh, your dad died

on his way home from work, I guess it would be.

And then, you know.

That's a little too

traumatic, though.

The shock of seeing him come back, because he's going to come back and reveal himself.

Right.

It would be too traumatic for a family member, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But not like, I mean, you're talking, you're not talking about.

Like, this would be like the boss maybe would be like, oh, I didn't know you felt that way.

Maybe there may be a great hug at the end.

Like, I'm not going to treat you like that.

I'm not going to ever let you ever think ever again

that you're not a vital cog in this machine.

This fake death has really put things in perspective.

Sometimes all it takes is faking your own death.

Oh, that's a great tagline.

Sometimes all it takes is, see, that's why we want you on this.

Yeah.

I thought of that one a long time ago, though.

We just dusted that one off because we knew you were coming.

Yeah.

I appreciate it.

Nobody had bitten

different ideas, though, like the celebrity one and this.

Yeah, because the celebrity one, you just want that reaction because he just, because it's cheap, too.

He's just walking up to people on the street.

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely cheap.

Well, yeah, because he's, well, it was a show, it was called Hater.

Okay.

It lasted a month.

Mario Lopez hosted the reality show where famous, that pairs famous people with their biggest anti-fans, celebrities are given the chance to confront civilians who hate them and try to convince haters that their animosity is misdirected.

Can you imagine being that?

And these are not small names, Kim Kardashian, Snookie.

Why do you think they failed?

The premise sounds was it hater or the Z?

No, it was H8R.

That's probably why, because it's too confusing.

Right, yeah.

People are like, what is this?

I thought it was a typo.

It's not like funerals with a Z, which I know exactly what's going on.

I remember seeing the promo score, but I never saw an episode.

To me,

it sounds like a real

cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap show.

That could be on some real smaller cable channel.

Yeah.

Will the celebrities be able to win over the people who dislike them?

The budget to get a funeral has got to be high.

Well, now, but back then, probably.

It was 2011.

Yeah, we had funerals was a long, it was an idea of a long time ago.

I think it's the one that could work.

Simmy, could we get like 10 grand from the network to shoot

a tape?

For a real?

Yeah.

Oh, for that idea?

For funerals.

Yeah, absolutely not.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

I'm I'm telling you, man, they're tough.

This is a tough audience, man.

We have not been able to get another show on the air.

You fucking tough over there, man.

And Funerals with a Zoom.

Joker's Wild was fucking good, bro.

Were you in charge of that?

Yeah, that was my show, too.

Yeah?

Yeah.

That one had some bumps.

What were the bumps in Joker's Wild?

Why do you think it didn't succeed?

You know, I don't know.

Q, you want to take this one?

Why do you think Joker's Wild didn't succeed?

I think Joker's Wild didn't succeed for two reasons.

One, it wasn't the best show that we could make.

We were under the gun, we were under production,

we were trying to do two shows at once and figure out the live show.

So, so our, but, and the sketches that we made were funny, but

they could have been produced a little bit better.

They don't look that great, it wasn't the best thing to show, but more than that, people are fucking dopes.

Well, I think people expect and like you in a certain role

once you step outside that, that.

Right, because it didn't look bad.

It didn't look horrible, and it was funny.

I still like a lot of things.

And

some of the bits that aired on that show, we've shown in the live show, and they kill.

They kill every time.

But we were getting comments like,

this is scripted.

Or wait, this seems fake to me.

Like people

didn't get that it was scripted.

They thought it was like we were trying to get one over on them that it wasn't scripted.

A lot of people aren't aren't that bright a lot of people aren't that bright um i don't know i don't i don't know yeah i think i think a lot of a lot of people tuned in because the bar is set so high for jokers right now but in a different way so i feel like even if it's good if it's a different show people aren't gonna give it the same shot you know

ratings were pretty good though they were why did it get renewed they because it still had pretty fucking high ratings

i'm glad it didn't because it was just too much work but i i to be honest i don't remember at this point i don't remember i don't remember the numbers being that great i think they were they were pretty good but they weren't as high as Joker's for sure.

They would have gotten like 0.8.

I don't even remember.

They were doing pretty good.

I don't know.

That I can't answer.

I don't remember exactly why it didn't get picked up.

We didn't have a lot of fights on that, did we?

No, not too many.

I don't remember any fights on that Joker as well.

No.

I think we

saved it all for Staten Island maps.

Did you care Q when

it got cancelled?

No,

I was happy with it.

It was too much work, not enough pay, and

the react

it was doubled down on the reaction.

Yeah, I was not upset when it went away.

I'm not even seeing it on Wikipedia.

That's weird.

But people like it.

It's just out in the UK, and we got some very nice email about it.

Yeah, you guys are

multinational, we hear.

What's that, Joker?

Well, Jokers, yeah.

Yeah,

these guys are big in a lot of countries, right?

India, I hear.

India.

I got a lot of messages today.

I have people asking when you guys are coming to India.

Yeah,

we opened up Twitter to fans, said Simmy was going to be on, see if there was any questions.

Simmy, were there any questions that seemed good?

There were a lot of questions about

what's my favorite punishment challenge we've done?

What are the guys like in real life?

That kind of fare.

I don't know.

A few people asked, which is the real Q?

Is he the one on Tell him Steve Dave or is he the one on Jokers?

Because he seems different.

Just a little.

You couldn't answer that, right?

You haven't listened to Tom Steve Dave.

I haven't listened enough.

But to me, I mean, my sense from what I've heard is, you know, you're pretty.

I feel like you're yourself on both shows.

It's not like you're putting on an act in either one, right?

Well, on.

I saw him dancing.

I saw him dancing.

On Jokers?

Yeah, the only one that was missing was an organ grinder.

Was I being told to dance?

Was this the one?

Well, I don't know if it's aired yet, the one where you're wearing the bells on the jacket in the grocery store.

We started dancing in that one.

That was just to make Sal laugh, though.

Right.

So that's in.

I don't know.

Probably Tell him Steve Dave.

But we also, we've, in the later years of Telm Steve, Dave, had started taking on characters a little bit on the show, a little bit, mainly to piss off our own audience, which doesn't make a ton of sense when you think about it.

The whole tax thing only kept going on and on because people reacted so negatively to it.

So like that's why I would talk about it all the fucking time.

There's also a more recent one that the Hillary thing?

Well,

some of you moved.

That never got as big as the tax thing.

Nah, the Hillary thing kind of

the Hillary thing fizzled because the payoff never came because the payoff was you were supposed to be on Jokers.

You remember that?

Oh,

Hillary Clinton?

Yeah.

And then that just went away.

Oh, we were thinking of talking about maybe doing some sort of a promo for the network.

Yeah.

And so the, but the, but it never came, so that joke died on the motion.

So, like, maybe Brian being like against politically correct a culture?

Well, unfortunately, that's Brian.

This is Brian.

But you know, you've said certain things on here.

Those were that were said in just to play up a character?

Yeah.

Your Ghostbusters review.

No, I'm not sure.

Here we go.

You haven't seen the movie.

When you see it,

then we can talk.

Okay.

Did you see Ghostbusters?

I did not.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

I mean, I'm just saying,

I've seen us do things on here.

Well, the tax thing definitely went on way long.

The only reason the Colonel thing is still going is because that asshole wrote that letter saying he didn't like the colonel thing.

You know, get him for a while was only brought on to troll and annoy people.

Yeah,

that's true.

I was more out of spite, I wouldn't get him on more than I thought he needed to be on, but then I actually was like, Sure,

he's literally an oil well,

and he will spit black gold constantly.

Yeah, if you, if you just, if you just strike at the right spot in his body, you will

orgasm

black gold.

Yeah, um, do you disagree with that, Brian, that we've taken on certain stances just to annoy people who have voiced dissenting opinions

at times yeah maybe at times like uh

say certain things that you know will get a rise out of people but

for me it's more like i'll say stuff that i know is offensive on purpose right well then you're then you're definitely you're you're uh

then you're doing it then pushing buttons you're just doing it just because you know it's going to get a reaction uh Sometimes, but generally not, I'd say.

Like, the text thing with you is really the only thing that

or you being like the Lothario.

Well, that was something

that I, from day one, was like, let's just not say that.

Or that you don't like fat chicks.

And I never said that.

The tax thing was definitely the longest thing that I kept going just to annoy people in the audience.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Actually, you know what?

Let me rephrase that.

Sometimes I won't cut out offensive stuff because I know.

Because it'll bother people.

Yeah.

Very rarely do I cut anything out.

It keeps it reels with a Z.

So, all right, so Simeon, no questions came through that you thought were worth answering?

You know, well,

I could certainly answer some.

I mean, there were a lot of questions about the live event that we got coming up.

You know, things like that, things that were specific about the show.

Right.

Did we even announce that yet?

Yeah,

we announced that it's happening.

We didn't announce a lot of details about it, but yeah, we announced Nitro Circus November 3rd, Prudential Center.

We're having a live event.

Yep.

Live season finale.

In Jersey.

In Jersey.

At the Rock.

That's right.

Yeah, I'm trying to think.

I mean, there were, again, a lot of questions.

A lot of people always want to know what you guys are like, you guys meaning the Jokers are like in real life versus on TV.

it's pretty much the same, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe's a little more business-like behind the scenes.

Yeah, I'd say so.

I think that would be the one that would surprise people because I say it all the time.

I'm like, he runs the show.

Yeah, he's much more, he has that serious business side of him for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess, you know, what that's interesting.

I feel like he's the one that, if when the cameras start rolling, he's a little different in that sense, that he's just he can be more buttoned up.

But that's a that's not bad, you know.

No, no, no, not in any way shape.

I think without Joe steering the ship like he does,

we we would be in rough shape.

Yeah.

The story I was telling.

Somebody's phone is causing a...

Oh, is that this?

Yeah.

Okay, sorry.

I mean, the story I always tell is my first.

No, it just started for some reason.

Okay.

The story I always tell is

the first day that I worked on Joker's, we were shooting a special

where you guys were on a rooftop.

It was one of those episodes where you guys were just shooting the shit and tossing a clips.

Right.

And I got there and I saw you guys doing it.

And we had about like five minutes of you guys going back and forth.

And then I turned to Pete McPartlin, the showrunner, and I was like, I think we got enough.

And he's like, oh, we haven't started rolling yet.

You know, that's just,

they're just hanging out.

And I was like, oh, you know, it's the show.

That's great.

So it's, I know, you guys are exactly very, very similar on screen and off.

Are you open to taking pitches from the Telm Steve Dave crew in the future, Simmy?

Sure.

Or do you feel like?

If this was a preview of what's to come, or do you feel like these ideas?

Well, let's say we took it seriously.

Or do you feel that these ideas

have offed any interest that you have from Telem Steve Dave Productions in the future?

I'd be happy and honored to take a pitch.

Yeah, these ones feel a little off for True TV,

but yeah, I would say, you know, my door is always open, guys.

So when we go into pitch dyslexia.

Dyslexia, the game show.

A couple people tweeted about that.

We're going to have a big roundabout dyslexia game like a championship

amongst our

players in our universe,

the characters, not characters, but the people who make up the Tom C.

Day family.

Can I send you the file then?

Sure.

I've got such great gameplay and such like.

What are you talking about?

It's the most frustrating game ever made.

No, but I've refined it.

Oh, really?

I've fine-tuned it.

Why not one, True, Three?

I feel like

it's a fucking great thing.

That's a legitimate game show.

I don't want to take away your thing.

There's so much new twists and turns.

It's not just the two rounds that we had before.

Now there's like, there's truly

strategy.

Simmy, what's the opposite of a horse?

The opposite of a horse?

Yeah.

Oh, God, that's hard.

Take a step.

There's no wrong answer.

There's no right answer.

What's the opposite?

The opposite of a horse.

Yeah.

I'm brain-hurting with that one.

This is too.

It's out of context.

much.

I guess I go to zebra, but it's not.

Okay.

Not a car.

So you don't go to a car.

Yeah.

You wouldn't

see a car.

If you're playing a game, like, let's say

it's okay.

You weren't talking about within the animal family.

You just mean in general.

Oh, no, no.

In general, but you have to figure out.

Okay, then a car is a fair end.

What if I said this?

Breadstick.

Uh-huh.

That was like awakenings.

I caught the ball.

If I said bread, what's the opposite of bread?

And what's the opposite of stick?

What's the opposite of bread?

Right, that look on your face.

It's in the food family.

Oh, what's the opposite of bread?

The category is food.

Okay.

What's the opposite of bread and meat?

I don't know.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

Don't mistake this chemistry for me liking the idea.

Very excited.

So you got the first one.

So, you got the first one.

We know it's a bread and meat.

So, a bread, stick, the opposite is meat.

What's the opposite of a stick?

Pie?

Oh, loaf?

No.

Meat ball.

Jesus.

Oh, that would have worked.

Yeah, meat loaf.

Meat ball.

Jesus.

Stick in a ball.

Oh.

But is a ball the opposite of a stick?

That's the big question.

Oh, yes, Cindy.

Yes, it is.

If you don't think so, you're an asshole.

I think the fundamental flaw is you don't know what the word opposite means.

You cannot judge a game of this.

I'm telling you.

Sure, I can't.

You need to see the file.

You need to listen to the whole game played with all its nuances and the strategic elements.

And I have a set design

where the two players especially built a chair where they're back-to-back when they're giving these clues.

A chair where they're back-to-back and they have to speak to each other.

You should have led with that.

The set would be amazing.

Again, can we go back to the suicide

online comedy?

hour?

Wow.

Tough to please, huh?

Yeah, well, I mean...

It's not that easy.

I'm telling you, most people just open the gates for these ideas.

Tell them Steve Dave we don't have a producer squashing all this fucking

genius that

flows like

what's it called when it flows?

Water.

Not water, but like it's like stream of consciousness.

Right.

That's what Tellum Steve Dave is.

No filter.

Yeah, we don't have to abide by sponsors or.

Yes, we do.

But we don't.

You have to do that.

Got FanDuel again this week.

Do you like football?

Well, I do like football.

Oh, yeah.

Who's your team?

I'm a Jets fan.

I'm more of a

baseball is my.

What about Fitzpatrick?

Should he sit?

I don't know.

To be honest, I'm a little more of a bandwagon football fan.

Baseball is my sport.

I'm a big Mets fan.

Well, then you know about FanDuel because fantasy baseball is just as big as football, right?

Yeah.

Are you into that?

I'm into fantasy baseball.

I don't do the daily leagues like FanDuel and stuff like that.

But I do like a rotisserie fantasy baseball league.

I did one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

So, but

football and fan duel, that's what we're pushing this week, Q.

Yes.

How'd your team do last week, Q?

I have a team?

What team?

In FanDuel?

Yeah.

You don't have a football team that you like?

No, somebody was supposed to run it for me.

Oh, a football team that I like?

You don't root for any certain team?

No, no, really?

You're not a giant guy or a Jet guy?

No,

I don't like New York teams that play in Jersey, Walt.

I like that.

You know what what I'm saying?

Like, if you're a New York team, play in New York.

I hear that.

Yeah.

But you could put your skills to work

and go win cash in FanDuel's one-week fantasy football contest.

If you don't have time,

you're obviously very busy just one week.

And you don't have to worry.

And Sundays,

so free, you can.

Yeah, there's no, nothing goes on Saturdays, right?

Well, college football, but you can't.

I don't think you can do fantasy football at college.

So should Fitzpatrick sit or no?

Who's that guy with the broken jaw last year?

Put that back up.

Oh, God.

Should he get a shot at the.

Well, they just send him a shot.

They get some crazy amount of money.

I don't think they're ready to send him yet.

I'm a Sunday million-dollar tournament, Walt.

Here's a million-dollar tournament?

Paying out at least a million dollars in prizes.

Do I have to spout any

Nazi propaganda to win that money, or is it just

no?

You don't have to sell, you don't have to sell out on your more.

I don't have to raise money for ISIS, nothing like that.

I guess that's a win.

Exactly.

You have to stalk kids in a playground.

You're wearing a Fendel shirt.

And then at the end, oh, I forgot to tell you this part, though, at the end of the segment,

when it's revealed that

who's getting eliminated,

you have

in unison, like a crowd going, you're worse than Bernie Madoff.

And then somebody teases the guy.

All right, back to.

And he gives him an oversized check for $100,000.

That would probably make a good bit on fameless casting for that show, right?

Yeah, for sure.

That would work.

We have a show Fameless with David Spade, which is actually kind of similar where people think they're going on a reality show, but really it's sort of like Joe Schmo, if you remember that show.

So it's that.

I forgot about that.

I did forget that you guys had that show.

Yeah.

I would have pocketed that one for

wasted your time.

Like Fameless with Hitler.

It's quite Instead of David Spade.

Someone dressed up like him.

Go to fan duel.com, click the join now button, and use my promo code TESD.

That's fan duel.com, promo code TSD.

Voidwear Prohibit.

You got something right here.

You're right.

What do you got for Bobby for FanDuel?

I can see you got some info.

No, I don't have any info.

There's no patches this week.

No, when it said voidwear prohibited, I was thinking of like taking a shit where they don't want me to.

Did you deal with a lot of foam faces?

A lot of problems?

Well, people seem to, I guess I understand too.

They're like, how do I know if I was in the first 25 or not?

Yeah, there's a lot of people.

I think it's FanDuel's website, but this week there are no incentives.

I gave away

probably

no more patches left.

So do not join up to FanDuel and think you're getting a patch this week because you're not.

Only do it because you want to support the show.

No fan patch.

Don't be so greedy.

Yeah.

Come on, man.

Haven't you gotten enough?

VanDuel?

There we go.

Ring.

No, this is, this would be good for you, Simmy.

Yeah.

Ring, yeah, because,

you know, somebody, some fuck-up shows up to your house on Saturday,

and oh, wait, no, because you would have to use your phone then, right?

Isn't that how you use it?

Let's go to Sunday.

Okay, Sunday.

It's any day but Saturday.

Okay.

Yeah.

Some weirdo shows up to your house and they're like, hey, man.

He's got thick glasses on.

He's got a stained t-shirt.

I sweatpants on him

And an icon.

And I'm like, why don't you like my idea about the suicide hotline?

Yeah, no.

And they're like, hey, I heard you on Telum Steve Dave, and

you were yelling at Q.

And they're all hot and under the cover about it.

You can have this conversation.

He's got a map of Staten Island tattooed on his forehead.

Yeah, he's really pissed at you.

All right,

I get where he's coming from.

you use this, the ring of security

where it's like

it's a big, it's basically a camera that you put on outside your outside your door and somebody, and you don't even have to be home because there's an app and somebody rings and they're like, hey, Simmy, like, you know, like how these people are leaving their hotel room doors open so you know, you don't have to do that.

You can just fucking check it out, see the person, see if you want to talk to him.

Maybe it's some dickhead that's always borrowing money or whatever.

You're like, fuck it, I'm going to pretend I'm not home.

Just ringing at the doorbell.

Yeah, like describing a security camera.

Yeah, it's a security camera and a doorbell.

Yeah.

And it's also, remember how Ferris Bueller had to make that tape that played?

Yeah, sure.

This you can actually talk into your phone from anywhere in the world and it comes out through the doorbell.

You could be like, yeah, you could be like, I'm taking a bed.

You could be a Callie.

I can't come to the door.

Okay.

You could be at Callie.

Maybe you're shooting

the premiere episode of Funerals.

Shooting.

Someone's knocking on the door at home.

You can talk to them.

Or

you decided to produce this script I wrote called Down Syndrome, the movie.

Downs with a Z.

Yeah, see?

We got to work together, bro.

We're missing out on golden opportunity, right?

This is why I like them.

Down syndrome.

But anyway, yeah, yeah.

So

you're in California.

Uh-huh, sure.

And somebody

knocks on my kids.

You got a wife and kids.

Are you down with Downs?

Yeah.

Yeah, this is good.

I'm telling you, that movie's going to fucking be a little bit more.

Downs coaster.

So I'm in California.

Somebody rings my doorbell.

Have you got a wife and kids?

You're just like, honey, don't go to the door.

Let me check this out.

The guy in sweatpants.

And I say, hey, I'm sorry, I can't come to the door because I'm in the bath.

Yeah, I'm in the bowl.

Take a bubble bath.

Or I'm cleaning my guns.

Yeah.

Oh, now you're talking.

That's a good one.

I like that.

I'm sharpening my buoy knife.

And then you could have on your phone, maybe you press a button and you can have like a dog barking like crazy in the background.

You tell the dog, be quiet, be quiet.

It's okay.

Wait, is this a show idea?

Is this an app?

No, that's not included in the Ring security kit.

Just so you know, the dog barking thing.

It should be.

That's a whole separate thing.

Ring, you should get on that.

No,

this is just

something you buy.

You get $150 off your kit if you go to ring.com slash T-E-S-D,

and you never have to answer your door again, really, unless you want to.

Because Ring's made it.

Home burglary every 13 seconds.

that's crazy man that's crazy do you think there's anyone seen me at the network who

dislikes us to the point where they're waiting for jokers to get canceled no no no there's a lot of love for you guys q there's a lot of love honestly yeah yeah it seems like it's you never know

yeah there might be some uh i mean is there is there somebody at the network who hates you guys yeah possible versus and they're waiting for what do you think it's gonna be like i mean i know that the the comic book lover in you once would love a villain I would love a villain.

There are no villains.

I like everybody.

I would say the paranoid in him.

That's true, too.

Well, nobody has 100% success rates.

He's looking for the black clouds.

How does that news...

All right, so True, we shoot season six, right?

And True decides not to renew for season seven.

Okay.

How does that news get delivered to us?

Are you in charge of that?

No, my guess is that that's probably above my pay grade.

That probably, God, that's a good question.

Right now.

I'm glad I don't want to be the one to make that call.

Yeah, I'm like, hey, don't come back.

Do we get called to the office?

That's a good question.

I would imagine it would happen in person, but my sense is at this point,

it's all parties.

I don't think there's going to be any surprise.

It's not going to be like, oh, you know, sorry,

we're just killing this off.

I know what they do.

Right.

Simmy fakes his death and we can't go with the show like that.

And depending on how you react,

you may reveal it.

You're on the funeral.

Replace Jokers exactly.

We heard recently that the upper, you might not,

this might have been above your pay grade, but I heard recently that the

upper echelon at the network, although I would say you're in the upper echelon, but like even above you was annoyed at us recently.

Have you taught you for

negotiations on the live episode?

Did you hear any of that?

I did not hear any of that.

Okay.

So

I'm sure it was warranted, though, if they were.

No, I have no idea.

Are they greedy, the jokers?

I don't think they're greedy.

I think they.

Look, I think that this, I think it's, you know,

when you get to this point, when the show's been successful,

you're going to try to fight for some money.

I think that's warranted.

Sure.

Well, I can't speak to the details of it.

We didn't.

I'm not involved on the money side, really.

In this case, once it was explained to us us

what

the financial reality was of the episode, we were like, oh, well, the fucking course.

And it went away in two seconds.

I will say, you know, this, that the network does try to make you guys happy.

They try to

try to.

But we had basically, all right, let's say we get X amount for an episode, right?

Now, if you're doing an episode four times as long as a normal,

you're doing a two-hour episode,

would you expect to get X times four?

Is that a serious question for me and the show I'm on?

Yeah.

Or for you.

How hard.

For us, I guess.

It's not a show that we'd probably rerun a lot, right?

The live episode.

Is that the live episode?

No, no.

Is it like a one or two time episode?

Yeah, or maybe that we do, that sort of thing.

And

I'm not even setting them up.

That's just the initial question.

So now you're doing four times as work.

Would you expect to get paid your rate times four?

Times four?

I mean, you would think, right?

It's not unreasonable.

Is there anybody else getting paid times four?

No, this is like the crew and all them?

Yeah.

Probably not because they get paid on a different rate.

Right.

But is it your idea?

No.

Whose idea is this for this two-hour show?

For the networks.

It was mine.

And I would say I would think that

maybe two times would be fair.

I don't know about four times.

Well, I'm not saying that we should get paid four times, but you could see how the initial thing would be like, oh, that's great.

We're delivering two hours instead of a half hour.

Four times and knowing they'll settle for two times.

We ended up settling.

Well, once the realities of the budget was explained, there was no argument.

There was no argument.

We were just like, oh, okay.

So that's where it came from.

Why not bring it up?

Why not bring it up?

Right.

But is there ever the sense of the network that we are diva-ish?

Did you ever hear that?

I haven't heard that in a long time.

Not a long time, but you have heard it.

It's been like weeks, I think.

Yeah.

But it does, sometimes you'll hear that.

Full disclosure, I haven't heard it in a while.

I feel like there were definitely, look, over the course of three years, were there times where you guys wanted something

that

seemed above and beyond, like it probably happened.

But honestly, nothing comes to mind.

Nothing reasonable.

Somebody at the network was like, who the fuck do these guys think they are?

Yeah.

That has had them been said at the network, right?

Who do these guys think they are?

Because there was one or two demands that were just a little lofty.

Yeah, I wonder what those would have been.

I would fucking love to.

I don't think it would have been the map.

The map seems reasonable.

No, not that.

That seems

The map does seem.

My reaction to the map was maybe a little.

I like how you've come around on this a little bit.

It wasn't about the map.

It was about

to the next battle, though.

There is no more, but there are no more battles.

I've given up.

Oh, you're not thinking about the map anymore?

You totally gave up?

So this is cute going back into the mode of

I don't give a shit about any of this.

Yeah, you'll get a call later on.

Well, no, well, with the Benjamin Cat thing,

I was hoping we were going to turn that into something bigger, and then that went away.

Unfortunately, we did shorts for another show.

I remember this is one of the times where I

was furious.

You were yelling, and you were talking about that.

Yeah, we got into it on this one.

I was furious.

I don't think I was on the phone.

We were texting.

We texted a lot about this one.

We disagreed on

an edit.

I still disagree with you.

I don't feel you.

What happened was, is we got hired to do, well, we didn't.

I got hired to help

Shepard?

How would you say say it?

Yeah.

These cats, these shorts based for another show entrepreneur based on Benjamin Cat.

And I was super excited.

I was doing it for free.

I wasn't even getting paid.

I got,

this sounds silly to say, but I got forced to get paid.

My whole thing was like, I don't give a shit at all.

Like, I'll just do it because I think it's fun.

Who forced you to get paid?

This was

not North South.

Somebody said, you have to get paid.

They're like, you have to get paid.

Okay.

But I had said, I don't even give a shit.

I said,

money wasn't even, that didn't even come up till after we shot actually the episode.

Because I didn't care about money.

And in fact, I took a pay cut in the end.

And the edits came in, and I thought they were so funny.

And then, and this is where I wonder if you'll admit this, if it's true.

But

the edits that came back, I strongly disagreed with.

They just weren't, to me, weren't funny.

Like they ripped out the humor.

They made them less mean.

They just made it not funny and bland to me.

But

you

said it was your call, but it wasn't your call, was it?

But the edits for that piece, yeah.

I think you were just taking a hit just to end the whole situation.

I think it was partially my call and partially other people weighing in, also.

Because that was for a show that wasn't really my show, right?

But you took it on yourself like it was your call.

And when I calmed down, I was like, all right, I see why he did it.

Well, I mean, that's one of the things that's tough about working on a network is you're not, you know, sometimes you're taking other people's opinions into account and you're sort of trying to,

you know, ultimately I'm speaking for the network.

So like if even if there's something that, you know,

sometimes I have to sell things that,

you know,

it can get complicated.

But

I just didn't feel like you, I just, I just know you.

You're a funny guy.

So I couldn't see you agreeing with their cut.

That's what was driving me nuts.

I was like, there's no way.

And that's why he keeps saying when I said I know it's funny, because I knew the cut was funny.

Like, that was what I said.

I was like, I know it's funny.

I know it's funny.

Not like, I know it's funny, although there might have been that too.

Do you consider showing anyone else these at the time?

Show anyone else these cuts?

Here's the thing.

The people who wrote it and directed it are.

The writers on Practical Jokers who have years of UCV experience and are very funny.

And

they they know what's funny.

Like, they were funny.

Like, like, you were fighting for that other show, which I'll remain nameless.

I was fighting for

the writers who had no voice, and the director who had no voice.

So, I was trying to puff up my feathers a little bit on their behalf.

And I just, I was like, I couldn't get how you thought that their edits were funny because there were no jokes.

There wasn't a single joke left in that edit.

I was like, this is fucking crazy.

Yeah.

But.

Yeah, that one didn't go over as well as I think we all hoped it would.

Yeah, yeah.

But I just felt like you were just saying it politically.

Were you saying it politically?

A little bit?

I think part of it was.

You know, that makes me feel better, though.

Because if he couldn't see the value in Benjamin Catt, then I'm not feel so bad that he's not that into Are You Worse than Hitler or Funerals?

It puts his whole, it puts his whole

puts everything in perspective.

I'm not giving up on the suicide hotline.

This guy doesn't know what the the fuck he's talking about.

I think we should focus on funerals.

I'm coming around on all these ideas.

I think we should focus on funerals.

So we should pitch Simmy a show,

I think.

All right.

Legitimate one, not on air, though.

Yeah.

All right.

I think we should develop funerals into something.

Yeah.

Come in, guys.

More so than One True Three?

Listen to me.

One True Three is a legitimate show.

Yeah.

That will sell.

One True3 is great.

Celebrity One True3.

Yeah.

Got a vanilla ice in there.

We'll take this off air.

All right.

So that's it.

We've got to wrap it up.

Thank you for coming in.

Pleasure, guys.

Thank you so much.

Thank you for our ideas.

That was great.

A lot of fun.

A little disturbing, but you know.

Expected nothing less.

I think for a first time thrown into it, I think you did really well.

Thank you.

I appreciate it, guys.

I think the second time will be better.

Apart powerful mana, such yourself.

Where do you stand on Illuminati?

Real or on not real?

Oh, God.

Is this how you close everyone?

Every podcast?

You're worse than Hitler.

Tell him, Steve Davis.

I've lost what's in TV.

I wish I loved in the dark, since I was lost from the start.

You're the one at my door, chewing on my bleeding heart.

You were my favorite mistake.

You're the mother.

Watch us when I see you break.

Now I am lost in this place.

Don't put the energy done.

You're just fucking face.

You're a worthless disgrace.

When the end of my life, I resign

race.

Now I am lost in this place.

Don't put the units on your desk.

You're a worthless disgrace.

With the years of my life, I resign to erase.

I'm living to make the type that I was in or you.

For the bullshit that you put me through.

So fuck you and fucking war too.

Watching final and free without you.

I can live without you.

Let's go.

Now I am lost in this place.

Stop putting it on.

You're just fucking face.

You're a worthless destruction.

Waking years of my life, I rush on to

race.

Now I am lost in this place.

Don't put the units on your vocals.

You're a worthless destruction.

Waking years of my life, I rush on to

race.

Shaking in my skin, I feel nothing's but but your parasitic cords that are crawling within.

There's a light peeking through the boards and the floor.

I struggle to get out, clawing at the only door.

Shaking in my skin, I feel nothing but your parasitic ports that are crawling within.

And yeah, I guess misery is my bitch.

She's the only one who can satisfy the itch.

I lost what's in childhood.

So, this is what you want to be.

Oh,

it's so cold and empty.

Right now, when you finally see,

you're just a blackest forecast is answering me.

If you're trying to fight, you're fucking victory.

If you're just a black, your forecast is answering me.

You are dead, tell me.

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