#651: The Geriatric Podcast

1h 48m
Baseball Karen, Walt gets TV shamed, War of the Worlds, Gay Siamese twins, top links, Walt brings a game.

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Transcript

I think I was mislabeled as a Karen.

But that's a Martian.

Can't you get friends or something?

Like, so you can talk about my hog?

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Thank you for joining us.

I'm here with Walt Flanagan.

Yo.

NBQ.

Hello.

Hey, boys.

Hello, boys.

Bad news, Walt.

I found out that other countries cannot vote for Teddy.

Were you aware of this?

I wasn't aware of this, but I got a strong feeling that was the case when

people were showing me they got blocked from.

I think a VPN can't handle.

Yeah,

but I think a lot of our listeners are kind of like me.

They don't have that kind of

cyber knowledge and how to get around,

get over on.

That's a great opportunity to learn.

Didn't we used to sell VPNs for some companies?

Yeah, we did.

We used to hawk them.

Yeah.

Wow.

Q, I was talking to Walt about this.

And because you guys are, you're both sports guys, and you're more of a baseball guy, though.

Yeah.

More of a video game guy.

What are you now?

Anything involved staying home?

I'm more of.

What is with this recent spate of people stealing baseballs from children and hats and all this?

Oh, it's always been.

Sports memorabilia.

Is this an ongoing thing, but we're just becoming aware of it now?

Yeah, I think so.

I think it's always been going on.

Because I've been watching a lot of this

sports stuff with Karens and

Polish executives.

Did you see the Phillies, Karen?

I did not see it, but I heard about it.

Somebody showed me a picture of her.

But I've heard all about it.

Yeah.

Now, that's, I think, an appropriate use of the term Karen for what she did.

When I was called a Karen on the cruise ship, just because

I thought it was ridiculous for them to throw out a trivia question because no one knew it but me.

Yeah.

And I stamped my feet and I, you know, got a little irate.

I don't think that's the same circumstances.

Sure.

I think I was mislabeled as a Karen or slurred as a Karen.

Yeah, taking a baseball from a little boy.

That,

especially with that kind of, you could just see how

where she was like in the guy's face.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You didn't see the footage?

No, no, I just saw a picture of her.

Oh, okay.

I don't want to know anything that's going on.

You don't know anything about it?

I literally don't want to know a single thing.

Burn, baby, burn.

I do think that

it might curtail, though, this kind of behavior, though.

I think the next person who's like, I'm going to walk up there and scold this person for taking a baseball, I think they might think

twice.

Because, well, wait a second.

Do I want my face plastered all over the internet?

Do I want people

wanting my skin and my job for this?

Yeah.

I might just go buy a baseball at the fucking.

Your faith in humanity is amazing, Walt.

At the fan shop.

I might just go and drop $30 on a baseball.

Yeah, or just realize it's just a fucking baseball and who fucking cares?

People are coming after it so hard.

Even the dad of the son, the kid who got the baseball taken from him.

Oh, he had to tell people.

He was like, just don't leave her alone.

Like,

I think she's learned her lesson.

Show me the footage.

Get him.

She She doesn't.

You guys have got me.

I'll invest it.

All right.

Homerun ball.

So homerun ball.

Now it lands over by.

Okay, so the guy got it.

Yeah, so that guy got it.

So it was not even her row.

It was the seat in front of her.

Right.

Right.

So she has no, oh, he's not going to son.

Yeah, do you see how scared he got when she came over?

He's like, ooh, ooh.

And she's giving him hell.

She's reading him the Riot Act because she said it was in her row or ahead of her row.

And that's why she deserves to have it.

Does she have a kid with her?

No.

It's her and her husband.

Do we know that she didn't have a child?

Yeah.

Yeah.

She got the ball, though.

She got the ball.

She walks back.

She got the ball a lot more than she fucking cared.

Forget that.

Will they show?

Okay, they didn't show the last part.

She gives the whole crowd the finger because they were all booing her.

All right, so she's an idiot.

As a sportsman.

Yeah.

Do you

think she was in the wrong?

She was in the wrong.

There are some people who say she's not in the wrong.

She was in the wrong.

I think she was.

It's not in the wrong.

It doesn't matter where it fucking goes.

There's somebody at this table who vehemently defended

her to grab that baseball.

Let me just move this mic over a little bit.

Vehemently.

With the most ridiculous theory.

Okay.

I said, since it appears the ball hit the husband and then bounced down because it hit him,

he's got possession.

Like, you know, he suffered the pain of getting hit by the ball.

Take the mic away from him.

I don't want to hear this.

Sorry, Keith.

I said the same thing.

I was like, if that husband can't manage to hand on to that baseball,

that's it.

He's shit out of luck.

It's it.

Yes.

It's a fucking baseball game.

I think that, look, obviously that guy's married to that woman.

He's got a lot bigger problems than if he's got the baseball or not.

But I mean, dude, come on.

That was wild.

And the little kid standing there.

I mean, good for the guy for just being like, take it back.

So what happened to her?

She's.

She got.

I don't think she's really been identified.

No, she has.

in fact her name is Karen.

Oh, it's confirmed that it's accurate, yeah, that it was accurate, but that's her name issued any kind of

I read that she was um she just asked people to leave her alone.

I don't think she apologized, I didn't see that I'm sure they will just because she asked, right?

Yeah,

well, until the next person comes along.

Well, you know what?

I think, yeah, I think this is probably out of the news cycle.

I don't think she's probably not hearing anything.

Did you think

she's all

But get them.

Like, you can't,

just because you

don't have the dexterity to fucking catch a ball doesn't give you the right to be like, that's mine because I'm a fucking, I'm a, I'm a fucking wooden beam.

I'd be embarrassed.

Yeah, yeah.

I'd be embarrassed to claim it.

Yeah, I don't have the, I don't have the

dexterity in my hands to catch a ball

doesn't mean just because you can't get out of the way of it also also, that you that it's yours, though.

I didn't.

I just said that.

I think that he's non-shy.

He's absolutely non-shy.

He's been, he's had a ride.

He's on the wrong side of his head, is he?

Yeah.

Oh, why?

We're not defending Carrie.

We don't want to get into it.

Oh, no, really?

You're not on like bad stuff?

Not bad stuff.

Oh, okay.

Oh, no.

He's getting his balls busted.

All right, fine.

We'll talk about it off like, I guess.

And something else in sports.

I really want to get your opinion particularly, Q.

Yeah.

I have a picture here, and it's of a man cave.

And I wanted you to tell me if anything about this man cave sticks out to you.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

My eyesight not being what it used to be.

Even Q needs fucking bifocals now?

It's over for TS.

If you have to use fucking readers,

we are definitely the geriatric podcast.

I can confirm whether it's.

Oh,

you are the last

bastion of hope for us to reach.

It's been six months.

Oh, it's my fixed base.

There it is.

Yeah, that's it.

I mean, this looks like a fucking cool basement.

No, it's not a basement.

No, it's a four stairs.

But I'm wondering, our friend Walt Flanagan, who I would understand is a man of memes,

why is he watching sports on a 21-inch CAFOD Ray Tube TV?

But that is not 21-inch TV.

It is.

That is a big TV.

It's a far-away shot.

Was it?

And then I was like, all right, I guess the door.

I'm 20 feet away from the TV.

How could you see it?

It almost looks square on the TV.

It's a four by three TV.

Yeah, like Johnny Carson played on this TV.

No, get the hell out of here.

That TV looks old, man.

How old is that TV?

That TV is easily

20 years old.

Oh, my God.

Why do I need a new TV?

It works.

It's a pre-Sandy.

That's a pre-Sandy TV?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I think because you love sports so much as a gift to yourself,

I have an extra TV.

Do you want it?

No, I've never complained once about it.

You guys are TV shaming me because it's not fucking 100 inches like you guys have a fucking movie screen.

Kind of.

Yeah, well, us and everybody else in America.

No, I mean,

it's a shockingly square TV.

What does that mean?

Square?

Because, like,

the TV that we're on is a letterbox.

That's like.

That's letterbox.

Yeah.

It must be heavy, huh?

No, it's light as a feather.

I got it at Sears.

What is this?

Does that have a cathode?

Sears went out of business 10 years ago.

He's got to replace the red bulb and the green bulb in it.

Yeah, I want you to be nicer to yourself.

Walt,

I want you to get yourself a nice big TV.

You deserve it.

The big TV's in the bedroom.

Okay.

Mo screen, mo problems, because then that doesn't fit Iraq.

It doesn't fit the bracket on the wall then.

Then I got to change the arm and everything.

I got to fucking get a handyman in.

You're right.

And then all of a sudden, that new TV is costing me a fortune.

And it's also now blocking my shelves where all my beautiful hardcovers are.

You don't have the room for it.

I don't have the room for it.

I got to make do.

And that's what I've been.

You know, that's the kind of guy I've been.

Yeah, you are.

I'm a

make-do kind of dude.

You're right.

You really are.

Yep.

I don't fuck with you.

And I don't bitch about it.

And I don't sit there and go, man, I wish I had a bigger fucking TV.

Never.

Never.

Never once have I seen you.

I believe you.

I believe you.

I totally believe you.

I take that.

What's that Captain Britton in the right corner down there?

That's an omnibus.

Of Excalibur?

No, of Captain Britton stories.

Oh, okay, good.

From England.

You know, the new Captain Britain, it's a woman.

Does that include her adventures as well?

Or just.

That's volume.

I bet you her adventures are in volume two, and I stopped at volume one.

Oh, I see, I see.

You wanted the character as he was for 60 years?

Yeah.

I understand.

I understand.

Yeah,

I'm kind of a traditionalist in that sense.

Only in comics.

Only in comics.

I see some Laverne and Shirley here.

Oh, yeah.

I got a Laverne and Shirley box set.

Never opened it.

Never opened it?

Never opened it, but I got it.

Wait, there's a day to come.

I don't know when that day is, but I have so much shit to watch and read.

Yeah.

And I'm like,

you're not going to see me for like a year straight.

Really?

I am just going to just get into all the shit that I have not read and watched.

And it's going to be a glorious year

where I come out, my beard is longer than Brian Johnson's.

Wow.

That is a lot of TV watching.

So, are we, are we, when that comes, are we taking a year off the podcast?

We'll see you guys.

Yeah, and I'll come back and then I'll fill you in what I was talking about.

What you were watching.

Okay.

The only thing I noticed about this picture is Walt's skew sock.

I did notice that, but decided not to say anything.

You know what?

He took his shoe off the sock twisted, but that's

I i wouldn't be able to look like that

feeling i got it

again

make do kind of dude

make do kind of dude

you know what it fuck it looking down at it

i don't even feel it i don't want to disturb teddy that i understand if it was a teddy decision i'm like i totally got it

well i wore it like that the entire day with my shoes on yeah i put it on like that and i was like you know what it's not on it's on a little cockeyed.

And I was like, oh, well, it's going to be cockeyed today.

It's a cockeyed day.

World better fucking watch out.

I'm in a bad mood.

Coming at you, old cockeyed world.

And if you want to see a picture of this, what we're talking about, just go to at Sunday Jeff.

I don't know what date it was.

What date was it?

Get him.

September 7th.

September 7th on a Sunday night.

Yeah, I know my man cave's not up to par with other people's man caves, but.

I don't even even have one.

You do.

You don't have that little office.

You have a little theater room.

That's your office.

Do you have that fucking basement that could be the man cave of man caves?

You've done nothing.

I know, I know.

Not even expensive.

You could just slap up some fucking decor down there and you'd be all set.

Don't you have a bar down in that basement?

Yeah.

I wish I was a heavier drinker or drank at all.

Make a weed bar out of it.

I could do that.

Stock it with iced tea.

Yeah.

There you go.

Some Aldi iced tea.

Some,

what is this?

Benner?

You know what you need down there, buddy?

A train center.

Train center?

There's enough room for a train center.

Get the fuck out of here.

Don't you have that whole second room that's totally empty?

Yeah.

Train room, baby.

Go back to the picture, I'll get him of the

shelves.

What is this?

Those are some AI pictures of Teddy.

He's boxing.

But do you see all the shelving units?

I mean, you can't see them.

And I also go to the other side of the wall.

It's King Kong.

When I got those.

Oh, hold on.

But we got it all right.

Yeah.

That's what we got backups for, baby.

There we're going again.

The Teddy, the Teddy AI pictures.

Yes.

I have a question.

Because

I had the idea that I don't know why.

I went into ChatGPT.

I was like, does Staten Island have a sister city?

Just the thought I had.

And it turns out it does.

There's a borough in London that is officially the sister city borough to Staten Island.

And I was like, oh, wow, that's fucking cool.

So I just did a screen cap of like ChatGPT's answer and put it on Instagram.

And, oh, my God, the comments were brutal.

What way?

I read four of them before I just took the post down.

It was like 300 things of just like, why are you?

It was either people like, you're evil for using AI,

or

I'll never watch a show again because of AI.

What?

Dude, it was like, I read the first five or six and I was like, I'm not dealing with any of this.

And then people defending me were like, were like defending me the wrong way.

You know what I mean?

I was like, how are the, what way was that, though?

Like, you know, bringing politics into me and stuff.

And I was like,

I was like, honestly, I was like, I think,

I was like, I might just delete my social media.

I'm like,

what do I want a part of any of this anymore?

No, I can't.

I can't do it.

This is crazy.

Like,

it's wild.

Like, the hatred that that came just for asking, something that everybody I know is doing.

But just because I posted it, like, I mean, the shit I got, I was like, why am I on here?

And it was a post of what?

I'm sorry.

It was just a screen cap of ChatGPT answering my question about Staten Island.

Literally.

Oh, just answering a question?

That's all it was.

It wasn't even a photo.

It was like, does Staten Island have a sister city?

And I saw that.

Oh, I saw that post.

Yeah.

I took it down.

I was like, I'm not.

It went crazy when I saw it.

Yeah, I know.

It must have went nuts.

Bananas.

I have not faced any kind of of repercussions for using the AI photos of Teddy.

We just have to stick to the

rocks.

We brought it to everybody's attention.

I'm sure I'm going to here.

Yeah, I guess so.

But you know what?

If it means, if it's a difference between winning and losing this

contest?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because I cannot wait.

There's going to be some people who are like when Teddy wins.

Yeah.

Their corn flakes are going to taste a little different that morning.

And that's going to be because Teddy urinated in their bowl.

Each and every one of them.

All three of the people who emailed me to say I should not have Teddy in the contest are going to have their cornflakes are going to taste

three people.

Now, get him, you saw reaction.

You saw the reaction to what I posted, or you just know what was coming?

I said.

You thought to yourself, Q's going to face a bit of a backlash for this?

Wow.

I would not have thought that.

How come I didn't face any backlash?

Smaller followers?

Or maybe more loyal followers?

Yes, I was going to use the word that they're ants, and they know that they're also smart enough to know it's fucking meaningless.

Like, what should you have done?

Hired somebody to answer that question?

Yeah.

Because he took money out of somebody's pocket by using chat GPT?

Yeah, tell me what I did wrong.

So what it is is you're destroying the environment, you're destroying people's homes, you're destroying communities.

I am now.

And yes, raising electricity bills, all all for useless AI.

So I could have just Googled it?

That's what they said, which is pretty much the same thing.

Because if you ask Siri.

I would have gotten shit for Google.

No, no, no, it's not.

I'm just saying, it's basically the same thing.

Because if you ask Siri, that's kind of AI.

If you ask Google, it kind of gives you that automatic AI.

So AI is pretty much entrenched in the US.

That's an easy question.

I guess I'll just Google from now on.

I tell you, if it wasn't for fucking me wanting to do more QS,

I would just delete.

I would literally just delete Twitter and Instagram.

I'd and be like, I don't want to interact with society anymore.

That's what happens.

Frank told me, though, that the usage of chat GPT

is rampant, though.

Everybody fucking uses it.

For what, like, for student papers and stuff.

He said that

it's a problem.

Huh.

No, I don't know that much about AI.

So they're saying that it uses up more electricity and stuff by like sort of like farming for Bitcoin or something, like that kind of thing.

Oh, I didn't know that.

If I was aware of that, you wouldn't have been making all these AI pictures of Teddy.

Yeah.

Were your lights dimming as you made them?

Yeah,

the house is frowning out, and I was like,

I wonder why that's happening.

Oh, well, I got to make more teddy fucking AI photos.

That TV drawing so much power.

Yeah, right?

That's the fact that my fucking footprint is way smaller because my TV is fucking

using way more energy.

It's a making more more powerful.

It's old.

Yeah,

definitely.

It probably has three fans built into it.

Oh, I thought since it was older, it wasn't using as much.

Because the screen was smaller.

Now, is that the only reason then?

Because

these pictures, if you said, of Teddy, if you were like, oh, they're Photoshopped, I'd be like, okay.

I would believe they were Photoshopped.

Like, the difference between Photoshop and AI is that AI is because it uses up more electricity or energy?

I don't know if you you know this, but

I think a large portion of the internet,

they need something to

be mad about.

Yeah, they think their lives matter

would be my guess.

And if they can pwn even a quasi-celebrity,

that's like big game hunting.

If you can put a celebrity in their place,

not that,

I mean, I'm using Q as the example, not me, because like I don't think anybody cares if I'm using AI at the end of the day.

Oh, you'll hear it if they do.

Well, it might now be there that we brought it to you.

They got me.

They got my head mounted on a wall.

And you have deleted the app of chat GPT from your phone?

I read it.

Sure, yeah.

I already have an app in everything.

I didn't know that.

Lesson learned, Walt.

That is not AI.

That's just the cutest fucking dog that ever lived.

In his pajamas.

Christmas Teddy in his pajamas.

That is 100% accurate photo.

It is adorable.

Yeah, it is a good picture.

Wow.

So

I had this other thing, too.

Are you guys not hip to the only news that matters?

They found evidence of life on Mars.

Did you not see this?

I did see that, and I was going to bring it up, but then I heard that it's still just a hypotheses.

I mean, but why not talk about it like it's real?

I think it should be huge news.

How is it not?

Because I did a little digging and

it's, again, more like

headline that

scientists say, but then if you read a little bit further, it's like scientists say

it could be.

Oh, God.

Yeah, NASA rover findings could be the clearest sign of life on Mars.

Let's say that they are for a second.

Isn't that huge news?

Or does everybody just assume that there was life there at some point?

It's just a matter of finding it.

I think it comes down to the life.

If it's like a single-cell,

you know,

minuscule little fucking spermozoan, nobody really cares.

But that's a Martian.

It is, but it's not the same thing as something with legs and eyes.

It's not, but that planet's so old.

What if life had evolved there, existed, died, and here we are billions of years later, and that's all that's left of

It's not going to, I think it's not going to change really.

I don't think it's going to change anybody's proof of life.

Other life in the galaxy is not going to do it.

No, I don't.

I think

it has to be something with a mouth and eyes that talks and walks.

Right.

Okay.

Yeah, I do.

I mean, I think we've come to that point.

Society needs something.

We need more bang for our buck.

You can't.

A single cell under a microscope, people are going to be like, yawn.

Yes.

But something like crawls up out of the rock with like six arms.

Yeah.

Now you're talking about it.

It looks like something Ray Harry House and fucking

animated.

Yeah, that's what we need.

All right.

I understand the difference between the two.

I still think that's pretty exciting, though, that they found evidence of life.

Yawn, Q, yawn.

You're right.

Did you say something offensive?

The second odd opens its mouth.

It will.

I don't think we want to.

Well, I mean, I don't even want to get into it, but I don't know if we really want to fucking

confirm that there's life anywhere else.

We ain't got this one figured out.

Let's not fucking try to discover other ones that we can

alter or

believe in.

Speaking of life on other planets, did you see War of the Worlds, Starring Ice Cube?

I heard about this movie.

I heard it was one of the worst-rated movies in the history of...

tomatoes.

Yeah, Rotten Tomatoes.

Once I heard that, I had to watch it.

Did you watch it?

I watched it, and it is,

awful.

It's so bad that you're like,

you could tell they made it like during the pandemic because everything is on screens.

It's very rarely people interacting with each other.

It's always Ice Cube.

He's like some NASA specialist or

not NASA, but NSA specialist guy.

And he's like constantly FaceTiming with different people, like his daughter and

his son.

And then there's a bad guy who's trying to bring everything down.

It's really astounding that they made it.

Was it set, because I heard it was.

Was it set in the universe, the Tom Cruise universe?

Because I heard it was, which blew my mind.

That's not something that I, no, I'm not aware of that.

It didn't seem like it.

Because I read an article where it was like it was setting up the music.

They didn't look anything like

the other movie.

Oh, okay.

So maybe that was inaccurate, though.

Because I was just like, I can't believe that.

A kind of a sequel to that Tom Cruise movie, which I love, the Spielberg one, came out and I didn't hear anything about it.

Because this is an old movie that just all of a sudden just the internet decided to focus its

laser beam on and eviscerate.

Like, if you're like, hey, man, I'm in the mood to watch a bad movie and laugh at it, then this is a good one for you.

You know, Ice Cube's like, when did that movie come out?

Hold on.

I thought it came out a long time ago.

You know, he probably, when it came out, and then fucking

nobody noticed it, and he was like, right.

But then all of a sudden, it just resurfaces for nobody else.

It was released.

July of

the 7th of 2025.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Ice Cube.

I guess he was looking for something to do during the pandemic.

I guess so, man.

But it's like you can tell that's the reason that they shot it like this.

But even the CGI just looks like dog shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was surprised.

Maybe once they saw how bad it was, they're like, we're not going to put that much more money into this with the special effects.

Is he the lead?

Like, he's in, like, he's the main guy, yeah.

He's the main guy.

He's not meant to carry a movie, I don't think.

Didn't seem that way to me anyway.

November to December 2020.

November to December 2020.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, right in the pandemic.

It took five years to release, though, huh?

That's wild.

Because, like, should we?

Should we?

Do you think we should?

You sunk all the money into it.

You got to recoup some of it, I would think.

And it only came out in streaming, right?

On streaming.

Right, Amazon, I think.

Yeah.

It's tough to make your money back, huh?

On something like that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, you know what?

The best thing that could have happened to it, though, is now more people are watching it than ever, than ever.

That would have.

Yeah, that definitely would have.

Novelty.

I would have never watched it.

Yeah.

Hmm.

What do we got?

What time do we got here?

I mean, how long have we been going?

26.

26.

All right.

Should I knock out these ads and we can talk about it?

All right.

I got some sex expert advice

for you guys in case you want it.

I also wondered how much we could sell Frank Five's bathwater for.

It's a good question.

Right?

I'd be interested to know.

Miundis.

Guys, fall is here.

The beers are colder.

The football's back, Walt, and the fits are getting layered.

But if you're still rocking old beat-up boxers under those flannels and jeans, we got to talk.

It's time to upgrade to Miyundis.

These things are ridiculously soft.

Like, don't want to take them off soft.

They're made with micromedow fabric that heats up that feels like a cloud, but they still breathe when things heat up.

And yeah, they got a legit stretch.

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Then I just got one more.

This hardly feels like a spot, though, because it's Blue Chew.

Blue Chew, guys, enter the room, dick first.

Blue Chew isn't just a tablet that kills me.

Blue Chew isn't just a tablet.

It's a cheat code for your crotch.

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Blue Chew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex.

And then, uh,

let's see.

Last time, I think I read all these.

Yeah, I carry my Encyclopedia Britannica everywhere.

They have a bunch of.

Ah, that's pretty good.

Yeah, they have a bunch of

those kinds.

Sometimes I make it.

That's what I'll sell fucking people.

Encyclopedia.

Encyclopedia Puns, yeah.

People like, what's an encyclopedia?

Yeah, exactly.

It's something that when you used to go to the food store, you could get once a month.

Or if somebody came to your house selling them.

That was the only way.

Did you grow up in a home with encyclopedias?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You did.

Encyclopedia Britannica had.

Oh, top of the line.

And then

my favorite ones ones I ever had with the Charlie Brown.

Oh, my God.

I remember those.

Dude, those are the fucking best.

I still have two of them on my bookshelf at home.

I don't know what happened to the rest.

Remember the Charlie Brown encyclopedias?

Yeah, but I haven't thought of it.

I mean, your face, yeah.

I opened the door in your mind.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

They were the best.

Oh.

Yeah, whatever.

That is a fucking

sweet memory you just implanted in my brain.

Thank you.

You're welcome, buddy.

And if you try Bluetooth, Walt, your hog will have a zip code on voting rights before you know it.

Come on,

you can't go from peanuts and that sweet memory to fucking talking about some dude's hog.

I gotta be a little

delicate.

Sir.

You ever tried to tuck in a submarine, Walt?

Guys, this isn't just about performance.

It's about legacy, our third legacy.

Give her group chat something to talk about.

You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up.

Nothing makes you more of a love than a little Blue Chew.

Did you find her group chat?

Believe it or not, she has not once ever talked about my hog or laying it down.

And I'm like, I went through all the group chats.

Did you yell at her?

I didn't yell at her, but I was just

like, hey, you know, I hear that a lot of women, this is like something that you gals like to talk about.

Why aren't you talking about this?

Right.

And she goes, well, all my group chats are with the girls.

My hog has its own zip code.

Aren't you aware of this?

I was like, oh, yeah, you really, I guess we don't want to talk about that

in the group chat with the kids.

Yeah,

yeah, you're right.

All right.

Can't you get friends or something?

So you can talk about my hog.

Just text a random number.

My husband's.

Your boss is a woman, right?

Well, can't you just text her right now and tell her

how I laid it down last night and I was biblical?

Well, maybe she could download Chat GPT and talk to it and get some version about your hog.

That sounds like a good use of electricity and

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Okay.

Now,

do you want to talk about the sexmirt or the gay Siamese twin?

Oh, Jesus.

Fucking gay Siamese twin.

What are we talking about?

So

there's one of them is gay and the other one isn't.

The one's gay and the other isn't.

They only have one ass.

Oh, my God.

So that means if they want to experiment,

then he's got to like be like, there's nothing he can do.

The one twin appears to be recoiling as the other twin kisses a guy.

Is this real?

I don't know.

It's the blunt stories from Instagram.

It's kind of nuts.

What do you do?

Like, how do you tell your

brother, like, look,

I don't want my face an ass?

Oh, it's a tough one, man.

Well, I mean,

his face doesn't have to be an ass.

Oh, it's got to be close to him.

I mean,

he can hood him.

Like a hawk.

Yeah, and, you know, plugs.

But if there's any kind of

anal play going on, unfortunately, you know.

As a brother, do you have to just suck it up?

Yeah, I mean, if that's your brother, you know, that's you.

No, I think you got to come to an understanding.

It's like, you got to be like, look, you could suck that guy's dick, but like,

and I'll be there.

And you got to hear it, though.

And that's what I'm saying.

You have to, you have to put, you have to come up with a.

Come on, let's be real.

Yeah.

There's not a chance on the planet they can find another guy that wants to partake in this, right?

I think you're out of your mind.

What are you nuts?

Of course.

You don't think a guy.

Beside me's twin girls just had a baby.

Yeah, what are you talking about?

I don't know.

Any holes in gold, bro?

I think you can search far and wide.

And the guys you find that are willing to do it are not dating material, I don't think.

You think they're willing to do that?

I don't think they're the kind of guys you want to take home tomorrow.

Like, you know, that want to fuck Siamese dudes.

I think they're probably pervert.

I mean, I don't want to say that.

I think they're probably little.

Yeah, I mean, that's a bridge.

That's a far bridge.

That's the ultimate open mind.

You can't get more open.

He could do a glory hole.

He could set himself up, and the brother's head could be behind the glory hole while the other is just reading.

So then the guy who put his thing through the glory hole doesn't.

He doesn't even know.

He just thinks it's like it's.

That's information I'd want to know.

Do you want to know if it was a Siamese guy or a guy at all?

But I think the whole point of a glory hole isn't it?

That like you don't, like, it's total anonymous.

Well, I don't think anybody ever thought.

I wonder if the guy sucks or the person on the other side of this wall is a Siamese twin.

I don't know if anybody's ever pondered that.

That's the the benefit of the glory hall.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I think you're right.

There probably will be somebody who is like,

I'm into that.

Yes.

Said exactly like that.

Falls in love with him as a person.

I guess.

We've seen it with the other two.

What's her name?

Yeah.

And why are they going out and telling anybody this, though?

I don't know.

Why are they running through?

All I know is I saw a picture of a dude kissing a Siamese twin and it said they're gay, so I ran with it.

What state are they?

I mean, what country are they from?

I don't know.

I don't think it says.

Are they

Americans?

Hard to tell.

Ohio.

It says, think your life is tough.

These guys are Siamese twins.

One is gay, and they share the same ass.

That's rough.

Look, they have the same TV as Walt.

Hey, his socks on.

They're fucking twisted like that.

You're not wrong.

That's a tough.

Yeah, you know what?

When you're in that situation with your brother, your life is as difficult as it is anyway.

And now you're going to be like, I'm going to cockbok you.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

I mean, or the flip side, which is you're going to subject me to this, man.

How about we both just remain celibate?

I won't go after girls since you don't like that.

You don't go after guys since I'm not into the.

Oh, man.

So they have to live the life of a monk.

That's tough, man.

You want them at least to experience it at least once.

You know, because they've dreamed about it all their lives and everything, and they haven't been able, because it's probably not easy to pull off.

But now that they've gone on the internet, I guarantee you that if their inbox is full of people, like Q says, I come around thinking, you're right.

There's probably people who are like, hey,

I'm going to be in Ohio next week.

They're not bad looking guys.

They was dressed up like Lil Cowboy as a kid.

1954, they were born, or thereabouts.

Oh, man.

I mean, I feel so bad.

What a.

I mean, look, it's just a privilege to even be alive at all in this universe.

Especially making your way this long with that kind of.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

Poor guys.

I guess there's nothing they can do because a surgery would kill them.

It looks pretty into his mind.

What about

you go to that Texas bunny ranch.

Right.

And you get, you get, you hire a male prostitute and you hire a female prostitute.

Okay.

And one

section

takes care of business and the other section is doing their thing.

If you're in the gay one, though, you could be like, look, I...

I found my guy.

I don't need to go to the bunny ranch.

Why am I...

I mean, I'll go so you can go.

Oh, he does have a boyfriend?

Yeah, there's a guy kissing him.

They share.

Hold on, let me see.

Okay.

He already found somebody.

Yeah.

Separate hearts and stomachs, share a lower digestive, a groin, a rectum, and a penis over which Adoni has control.

Oh, man.

So who's the gay one?

Ronnie Adani?

He was pictured kissing Ronnie.

Ronnie's the gay guy.

No, that's his brother.

Wait, what?

He's not kissing him on the mouth.

The men have kissing him on the mouth.

He's a separate part of their brother, Jim's home.

That's his brother kissing him.

Yeah, that's not the mother.

That's his brother?

It looks like he's kissing him right on the mouth.

I think it's just a weird angle.

Oh, okay.

I thought that was the boyfriend.

No, he's kissing his cheek and stuff like that.

Oh, okay.

Ronnie is kissing the brother.

The brother isn't kissing Ronnie.

Right.

Gotcha.

Well, I would be like, look, if I control the dick, I'm like, this is just...

Do they have MAGA hats on?

No, Ohio State.

Okay.

I have my glasses on.

Oh, just red hats.

Yeah.

I mean, fuck them.

They're like, why not, I guess?

Yeah.

But, right, the Bunny Ranch, I think, is a possibility.

I mean, might have to pay a little bit more than

your specialty act at that point.

Yeah.

It's a weird one.

Do they have

in Ohio, too?

I know it's in Nevada.

I don't think they have them in.

No, no, not in Ohio.

They don't have.

I don't even know if the Bunny Ranch is still open, is it?

I've been caught a lot of it.

It's the most famous.

No, it's still available.

Yep.

Bunny Ranch Legal is affected by the Real Realty.

Ill Repeat.

Is that how you say it?

It's the only one I've ever really heard named.

They had a TV show in HBO.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, I read an article about that where the women were like, we didn't like Dennis Hoff.

Like anything you saw in that show was bullshit.

We heard Dennis Hoff.

What's that?

Really?

They didn't like the pimp?

What a shot.

It seemed like it was not a great time for them.

Even the more famous ones, like Air Force Amy or whatever her name was.

Remember?

Yeah.

That show has been off the air.

I wonder what all those

scals look like today because that's some hard living.

That puts

a milestone.

There's some wear on your fucking tires, I think, doing that as a living.

I have, let me see.

There are so many depressing existences out there

that we've managed to avoid living.

Yeah, like the next time you start bitching about shit, you're like, well, at least I'm not a Siamese twin without control of my cocker ass.

Yeah.

Or even a fucking girl working on the bunny ranch.

That's how I abide by that small TV.

I'm like, well, at least

at least I don't have

another person attached to me.

You might be,

I don't disagree with you.

That's a nice way to look at it.

That's why I thank my stars for that tiny TV.

I'm holding on now.

Well, I have a

work in my house.

A job that started in February of this year that was supposed to take two, three weeks, it's still not even halfway done.

And I'm trying to deal with people and not lose my mind.

So I'm

hanging on by a thread?

Very centered, very like I'm really handling well.

You're coping well.

Yeah, because I think a lot of other people would be like, it's lawyer time and fuck you.

And all these things.

It's gotten to egregious.

It's at that stage, yeah.

The only good thing is, like, a lot of the work done has cost them a lot of money to do.

So I know they have to come back because I got to to get paid.

But it's just like, I'm in the middle of a nightmare.

So they just won't come back?

They won't answer texts.

They won't come back.

Dude, like, I've sent texts that have just been like, literally, like,

is there something going on in your life that I should know about?

That you just don't, it's like five texts.

And

do you want Johnny Law just to show up at maybe the

place of business and maybe drop a few

not-so-subtle hints that you're thinking?

I've got a plan.

Okay.

That if they just do this one last thing for me, I could then pull the cord and get someone else in.

But anyway, my point is, like,

even two years ago, I would have been flipping out and going crazy.

I think, like, being centered about the work in the house, about the TV, the size of your TV is a very, very good thing.

Yeah, I mean,

Brian didn't mention it, but we car-pulled in today, you know, like all of Fred and Barney from the Wildstones.

Yeah,

the old environmentally friendly.

Yeah, I'm out of a car right now.

It's been weeks since nobody can fix my car.

I don't know.

Is that it sitting out in the parking lot?

No, but here?

Yeah.

No, no, no.

It's sitting at Jeep for the last 20 days, and they're like, we can't get the part in.

What are we going to do?

So it's like, it's such a hassle.

What a fucking loaner they can give you to these guys?

It's not, I don't, I mean, they would be giving it to me for

free.

I doubt it.

I don't have to pay for the usage of their loaner, I would think.

It's not their responsibility to give me a car because I think only if it's like, yeah, like you're releasing it through them or something like that.

But if you bought it through them, you want to borrow the crown.

I'm dead serious.

You want to borrow the crown Vic for a couple of weeks?

Oh, I can't do that.

I bring a dog, you know, in the car all the time.

I don't want to fuck up your car.

And it's a bitch, though, man, trying to schedule.

You know, because my daughter has school.

She has work.

My wife is working.

So I'm like, at this point now, I'm like

resorting to

just hitching rides just to get places.

Well, your employee over here has a car, he has a car, but you know, I don't know if you've noticed it in the parking lot.

I have.

Yeah,

he's actually formed that the outline of his body can only fit into it now.

You know, it's like it has to get in a certain way and exit a certain way,

or else everything collapses of all the shit that's in it.

Yeah, it's a collier's mansion car on four wheels, right?

Yeah,

so what's in that car?

What isn't?

Mail.

Of course.

Receipts, bags, clothes.

Horseheads?

Is that still in there?

Horseheads.

Yeah.

It's one of the, and I don't know, like,

the cynic in me

always goes to, this motherfucker's doing it, so I can't utilize them in more ways.

Like, I can't be like, hey, come grab this mail.

Or, hey, I need you to do this.

Yeah.

I can't.

I can't do it.

My car is full of shit.

You know that.

Yeah.

Oh, well.

With that big goofy smile.

You just can't do it.

And he's right.

He wins.

I mean, he also can't get laid, but like, you can't get the fucking packages.

I don't know if that's the reason why.

Nobody will fuck him in that fucking heap of garbage.

You can't pick up a girl in that car.

You can't show up to a date in that car.

I didn't even think of that aspect, but yeah, you're probably right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But

that's complaining though you're right that's complaining that I haven't had a car in 20 days you're right you're alive you're healthy look at you you look great thank you I feel great you want to play a game you look you know what you were you had a little scruff last time I saw you you shaved you're very tightly shaved today makes it makes you look significantly younger oh yeah yeah it really does

sometimes I get lazy because I don't have to be at a real job yeah and so I'm like I wake up and I'm like do I shave today

fuck it do I fix my socks and straighten them?

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Oh, man.

My underwear is on crooked?

Fuck it.

No one's going to see it anyway.

Fuck it.

But

if I was back at my old job, I probably would be a little bit more

cognizant of the grooming.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But since I'm only coming in to see him, and come on, he's not making any effort.

Why should I?

Fucking wonderful.

Look at the

method right there.

So many years in, like, fuck her.

Fuck him.

I don't care.

He's got uncooked Pop-Tart crumbs in his beard right now.

If he's not going to try,

it's all right, get him.

Even the Motor East is falling apart, buddy.

Don't worry about it.

But, you know, credit records do.

He's come up with,

he's on a bit of a hot streak.

Really?

Yeah, he's come up with some good suggestions that have been like

$10.

I want to reveal them yet.

Okay.

He's on a bit of an uptick.

And so if he can keep keep doing that, if he can bat

250,

you know, then

he kind of

goes under the radar.

Okay.

All the other shit kind of goes underneath the radar.

All right, all right.

You're batting 250.

And speaking of which, I mean, unless you have something else.

I know, and I did have a sex expert.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

If you guys wanted to try to guess the kinks,

the most popular kinks today.

Today.

And have things changed dramatically since, I don't know, maybe the 50s?

Oh, it has to.

I think so.

I think so.

Sex Expert reveals couples' most popular secret fantasies, and the top kink might shock you.

Let's take a guess.

I mean, I know in my day, it was always

get that second woman in there.

Oh, a third.

Okay, so you're going to go with.

No, I'm saying in my day, it was like, how do I get this chick to make out with that chick?

Right.

Now.

I'm gonna say the top kink

is

a violent fantasy

a violent fantasy like choking and slapping somebody yeah I'm gonna say it's something a bit more like

really like on the fringe of

of like no one thinks like you know that's sexy but

no one that's not everyone like if you're playing family feud and you're like native kink I don't know if the top one's gonna be like you know slap me strangle me you know

I've never heard heard guys say they want that.

I've heard a lot of girls say they want it.

It is a common thing with females, isn't it?

Yeah, I don't know about common, but I just like, I've only, I've only heard it from.

Well, I guess you aren't watching a lot of dateline is because there's a lot of fucking guys who strangle women, I'm sure.

Well, I don't mean it's a crime.

Obviously, yeah, that's right.

Well, they're also getting off on it, too.

I'm talking about consensual, like, you know, loving.

It's hard to put those two together.

In a loving, consensual relationship, I want you to slap me and strangle me.

I don't think it's hard.

I think if I was with a girl that was like, I'm into this,

the problem is I have been with girls who've liked that,

and I'm not able to pull it off like they want because I'm always like, I don't know it.

You can't get into a role, the role of I've walked out of sex because it got too abusive.

Because the shit the

woman was requesting, I was like, I don't...

I don't want to do any of this.

It seems illegal.

Yeah, and it was before I had a TV show, too.

So it wasn't even like she's going to fucking...

It was literally like, I'm not really, I don't want to punch you in your stomach like

yeah like i'm not really down for me

oh oh thank you i wasn't expecting that kind of gentleman get a puncher in the stomach thank you

at her request

so you're you're saying oh you're not saying it's the third uh party

i don't think it is anymore anymore i'm gonna still i'm gonna still stick with my i think the top kink is um something violent something violent okay

okay well, there's first they're saying something that's increased in popularity is a threesome, but it's cuck holding.

A lot of guys are liking to watch their woman get that's the number one thing.

No, that's not that's not number one.

That's one that's increased, though, and in terms of popularity in searches.

I got three of them.

Yeah, the cuck chair.

You got three of them?

There's three of them, yeah.

The top three for the summer that I guess increase in website traffic.

And you find yourself,

you say you got them, like you have these kinks.

Oh, no, I don't have any of them.

No, I don't have any of the kinks.

The second one is beach ball porn.

All the rage this summer spiking a 46%

surge.

Could be.

Triple X rated content that featured folks blowing up the inflatable playthings.

And I guess you can get off on that summer.

Wow.

Why are you looking up a net Funicello?

Because that's what I thought it was.

Yeah, but look up the actual thing.

I got a beach ball porn.

Wait, but what?

It's just girls.

just.

That's higher than cuck holding?

That's higher than cuck holding.

Yep.

Well, the surge anyway.

I don't know what in terms of popularity

in terms of the

popularity since this summer.

He's on pornob.

He just typed beach ball.

I don't see a single beach ball yet.

Okay, here we go.

Wow, that is.

I mean.

That's one that it was.

That's a fucking easy buck.

Yeah.

I mean, that woman is not...

I mean, Jesus Christ.

I mean,

we've had to blow up things for productions here, and I've, I fucking laugh my ass off when I'm when I get him, looks like he's about to pass out because he, but I've never thought myself, I'm going to jerk off to this memory later on.

Yeah, like it's weird.

What does a topless woman blowing up a beach ball do for somebody?

I'm not going to judge them.

No, no, no.

Go, but I want to know, like, if you're into that, email Walton.

Let him know.

No, no, no, no, no.

Don't email me anything.

Beach ball.

I thought the cuckold shit I've always thought was rooted in wanting to see your girl or think about her as like a dirty, dirty,

dirty little slut.

Yeah.

Like, that's always what I thought that was rooted in.

I don't know.

I guess some people

see their women get

pleasured.

So, what was the top one?

Or what?

Do you want top one?

What were the two so far you revealed?

Cuckholding and the

beach ball.

Feederism is another big one where thrill seekers get turned on by watching each other eat and gain weight.

Okay, that one maybe I do have I've heard of that before.

She's a feeder or he's a feeder, I've heard said.

It also says, this expert also says, and you're going to hate this Walt, farting is huge.

I don't know why, but men seem to really like the idea of women farting in their faces.

That is wild.

That is like crazy that

somebody wants that fucking done to them.

I read a book on, this is going back 20 years on,

not a book, more like

I read on Marquis de Sade.

Yeah, fucking

pervert to see.

No, and Marquis de Sade and his writings and stuff like that.

And apparently he was into that.

Like he would have prostitutes blast ass in his face.

That was the first time I ever heard of that.

The final one, though, Walt, the one that remains the commonest kink across the United States, is a giantess fetish, a sexual fascination with preternaturally large women.

Oh, that one I get.

Yeah, you like a tall lady.

My fucking first fiancé was 6'1.

I get it, man.

That I totally understand.

Oh, you just don't mean.

I thought you meant like, like, Stumbo

tall.

Like, you know, you, like, you're like, you know, you ever Stumbo from Harvey Comics?

Everybody does.

Fucking reference.

Do you remember Tumbo?

No, I don't.

Look at Stumbo.

Stumbo Harvey Comics.

I thought you meant on a level like that, like he's picking up cows.

Honestly, no, no.

Like a giant test lately?

Oh, God.

Look at Stumbo.

No, no, no.

What was his name?

Stumbo.

Stumbo.

Stumbo the Giant.

Yeah, I thought you meant like that.

No, like, like, she was 6'1.

How old are you?

I'm 5'

a little on the 5'11.

Did you allow her to wear high heels?

I loved her in high.

Really?

Did he even tower above you like that?

Loved it.

Loved it.

I've seen.

That's a very secure man.

Well, she was hot, you know, it's hard not to.

But I've seen models who were like seven feet tall, and I'm like, God, they fucking look great.

I might be into this.

What is this called?

Giantess.

Giantess.

Giantess fetish.

I might be a giantess fetishist guy.

Could be.

You never know.

Maybe it's.

It goes against because, you know,

do you want all body parts to be that?

No, it's got to be a proportion.

I think it's got to be a proportioned.

Okay.

Like, it's got to look like just a big.

Just not her long legs.

But you, so, like, most people don't like,

I don't want to have an elephant man head.

Yeah.

Usually they look like jaws or something from fucking Richard Kelly.

Oh, the overly tall women.

Yeah, no.

Show us the tallest lady in the world right now.

Yeah.

Or put in attractive tall models or something.

No, no, no.

Just show me the tallest lady.

Yeah.

Well, I don't want to pick on her.

No.

You want to fuck her?

Is that too tall, though, for you?

She's not my.

She doesn't look like what I'm talking about okay which is but is that too tall though even if if she if she met some of your how tall is she other your other criteria that you look for if she looked like just like a really tall

seven seven foot half seven and a half foot half seven foot half and she looked like wonder woman yeah no problem no problem bring me right into that yeah that would be awesome as a confident man you know there would be no self insecurities coming out like there can't be because she's so like unnaturally large that people aren't looking at him like wow, what a shrimp.

They're looking at her like whoa, what the fuck?

Yeah, but I'm a terrier.

Like that girl there, like, no, no, go back, go back, get him.

Hold on.

I saw, I saw a picture of someone.

All right, that the one to the left, right there.

No, no,

one more to the left.

You're the left.

There you go.

Click on that.

Like, how she's 6'11, that girl.

Those legs don't end.

No, they fucking

tall one.

And they never end.

They start in another little time zone.

How tall is she?

6'11.

6'11?

That looks like a fucking.

That looks good to me.

You don't like that?

Yeah, but I think you, I mean.

And she's got like four-inch heels.

You're gonna look like a dwarf.

Yeah, you're gonna look.

Hey, guys.

Me too.

That's me, me too.

Whatever, man.

I get home.

She fucking crushes me.

It's great.

Oh, come on.

Wow.

That is amazing.

Yeah.

That is tall.

6'11.

She looks hot.

And she's wearing heels.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

Her heels are 7'5.

I'd be like, God, get in those heels.

All right, cute.

You got a giantess fetish.

And that's the number one in the United States.

Never had that fantasy get him.

Giantess?

No.

I don't think the idea is that they say FIFA Faux Fum and like, and like try and get you.

I think they just look, you know, are super unusually tall and beautiful.

You don't think they've heard that joke before, though?

I'm sure they have, but the jokes on the guy that says, How's the weather up there?

That's not the approach I would take.

That's not the way you break the ice cube?

That's not how I break the ice cube.

I say something that every single dope on the stream has said to her.

I wouldn't do it.

All right, great.

But, you know,

we got a game one.

So I got a game.

Shout out to a listener called Joey Robinson, who sent in

this idea to

have a scenario where Sunday Jeff is the president of the United States in the year 2035.

Okay.

And he is presented with some problems that he has to solve.

And you guys have to guess his answers.

All right.

And it's called Seven for the...

See, I couldn't come up with a good, catchy name with Sunday and Commander.

Like I said, I'm not real pleased with this.

It's not my best work.

Seven for the Samander in Chief.

It's not good.

Wait, what was it?

Sunmander instead of Commander.

Oh, Sun Mander.

Oh, okay.

I mean, don't judge it by the name alone.

So we're going to give away a free month of Patreon, though.

Oh, all right.

Yeah.

Bra, you're going to play for someone called At the Meatiest.

At the Meatiest, okay.

And Q, you're going to play for someone called Mountain, at Mountain Ainst.

And whoever scores the most points,

their listener will get a free month of Patreon, the TSD Patreon.

And I think we have to put these headphones on, right, so we can hear you.

Let me hear the answers.

Let me hear the answers.

All right.

So it's the year 2035.

Sunday is president.

And the country and the world has become overpopulated.

Sunday ran his campaign on solving the food shortage crisis crisis that has turned into a global crisis.

His advisors inform him the only way to end the food shortage is to take care of the overpopulation problem.

How does Sunday start to dwindle the number of people in the country and the globe?

Did he give an answer?

He gives an answer, and I'm going to give you three choices.

Okay.

But

I thought, you know, also, I mean, you could wait, you know,

how would a BQ if you were in that position?

How would, I mean, is there what leaps to mind is.

I'm the president, and I have to tell the

United States to stop that fucking.

I would just be like,

how many more fucking years do I have on this?

I'll just wait this out.

This will be the next guy's problem.

That's exactly what I would do.

I would just be like, we only got two more years in office.

What the next guy campaign on this?

That's a tough one.

I don't think I would try to dodge it.

Do you think we have an overpopulation crisis as it is right now, or do you think that's so we have the opposite, don't we?

Isn't it like well, now, yeah, I think like we're on a negative birth

rate or something like that?

So,

all right, I hear

so much noise.

I'm like, I hear there's too many people, now there's not enough meat.

Well, there's definitely too many people.

You know,

I try to get home from the airport plaza, and I'm like, it used to take me five minutes, now it takes me 10.

And I'm like, can't we fucking get rid of half of these motherfuckers?

Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess I would try to encourage people to use contraception.

How would you do that, though?

I don't know, it's a state of the address, you know, like look, we have an overpopulation problem.

I mean, I don't know how you're gonna do it.

Can you just make this kind of because it's right there, it doesn't sound very impassioned?

No, hey, we have an overpopulation problem.

Oh, I didn't know I was giving the speech.

You sound so

unpassionate.

I was just thinking, I mean, if you don't think so, that's okay.

But I was thinking maybe we have too many people.

Yeah.

What type of people?

All types.

All stripes.

Yeah.

All you all motherfuckers.

I said, do you want to hear your choices?

So this obviously is

how well...

Can I make myself sound like Sunday Jeff giving an answer, right?

Just to try to fool you guys from the real answer.

So

question or answer number one: implement a new global law, hysterectomies and vasectomies when kids reach puberty, or maybe at birth.

I'm not really sure if it's better to do it early or wait.

Okay,

forced sterilization, something only so far evil comes from coming from a Jewish guy.

That'd be interesting.

Well,

is

everything not on the table if it's a crisis?

We did say it's 2025.

It's a global crisis.

You know, I mean,

but if he's a president,

certain things just because they're controversy, controversial, is evil.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think if I was an American and the president's coming at me with like, hey, man, we have too many people, I would be like, well, what about other countries?

Like, how are we going to affect that?

It's a global law.

Global law.

Hysterectomies and vasestomies when kids reach puberty, and then he kind of like, or maybe at birth.

I'm not really sure if it's better to do it early or wait.

Okay.

Answer two:

no one over 45 can have kids.

I'm over 45.

What do I care?

And I think you run the risk of complications anyway at that age.

How old was Dip when she had Felicia?

That sounds like a Sunday.

Somehow, that's ringing pretty true to me.

And answer three:

find new ways to source food.

We could do it.

Why couldn't we do it?

I'm the president.

Yeah.

Got to think like Sunday, though.

Hmm.

One's a positive solution.

One's a negative solution.

And one is completely neutral.

I mean, yeah.

One.

No, I was

forced sterilization.

I'm not even.

Yeah, I don't think that's it.

Banning people over 45, having kids.

I mean, the problem is that won't help anyway, because how many people over 45 are having kids anyway?

Well,

I think that's probably why he said it, because most people aren't anyway.

So he kind of like he feels like he's doing something, but he's actually doing nothing.

He gives the illusion that I'm making decisions.

Yeah, he's discriminating against such a small pool of people.

He's not a fucking idiot.

He wants to get that second start.

Yeah.

I'm going to say the food one because I think that

that's a simplistic answer to a complex problem.

And I think that that

sounds likely.

Find new ways to source food.

We could do it.

Why couldn't we do it?

I'm the president.

Or, and then, bra, you have no one over 45 can have kids.

I'm over 45.

What do I care?

How old was Deb when she had Alicia?

That sounds like that distracted Sunday Jeff thing.

Yeah, I'm going to go with number two.

Number two?

Yeah, I think it's number two.

I hope it's number three.

I don't see Sunday Jeff using the word source food.

I don't know.

It just seems.

You don't think he has that in his vocabulary?

I don't think so.

Source?

I think you do.

I don't think Sunday Jeff does.

Is it that wild of a word?

It's not that wild, but it's just the phrasing of it.

It doesn't sound like Sunday Jeff.

Not that he doesn't know the word.

Yeah, you're his.

Yep.

Okay.

Ready?

Yep.

Find new ways to source food, to feed the population.

There you go.

We could do it.

Why couldn't we do it?

I'm the president.

Why?

Yeah.

BQ on the board.

But you're saying, though, that it's one of those non-answers that we get from every politician.

Yeah.

It really isn't.

It's a plan for more food.

Yeah.

It is what you have to deliver, not just the idea.

Like the president before you probably would have done it if it was that simple.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Can you keep scoring that, Giddam?

BQ has one.

The best and brightest American scientists come to President Sunday to inform him that the only way to stop global warming is to cut off all power to any small nation, which would result in the death of its population.

Whoa.

Doing so buys humanity another 50 years of habitable Earth.

Does Sunday shut off the power?

And if he does, which country is he choosing?

Only 50 years?

50 years is a long time.

I mean, you'll be out.

You'll be sitting pretty.

Yeah.

At the end of the 50 years,

you'll still have

your state of living.

It will not have been affected your quality of life.

Well, except knowing that there's fucking genocide going on so that I can get a fucking cold banana when I want one.

Well, here's a question.

Like these very small countries that are like the size of Rhode Island or whatever, does he take the population out and relocate them?

He could do that.

You have to make that assumption that he's not just

turn the lights off and be like, you know, make a turn, escape from there's just a giant switch that says Iraq and it closes it and it's done.

It would have to be one of those.

All right.

Well, you want to hear your options?

Yeah, let me hear the options.

He's not going to do it to Canada.

You know what I mean?

Well, let's find out.

I think, you know,

everything is on the table when Sunday Jeff is the president.

That's true.

Number one, I got to do it.

I'll pick a country that didn't even exist on the map until last year.

These countries change names constantly.

That sounds like the sterilization answer.

I'll go with a global lottery like the NHL draft.

You better hope your country isn't on my ping-pong ball.

I wonder if that scenario, are we on the ping-pong balls or we're picking other people?

Well, hey, our scientists came up with it.

We should get it.

We should get a fucking

sort of advantage.

I agree with you.

I agree.

And finally,

first of all, the scientist.

Came up with the idea of killing other people for our own survival.

First of all, the scientists came to the wrong person.

You're supposed to figure this out.

Build another reactor someplace.

I got to eat.

Fuck them.

Oh, that's a good one.

Tough.

Tough.

I got to do it.

I'll pick a country that didn't even exist on the map until last year.

These countries change names constantly.

I'll go with a global lottery like the NHL draft.

You better hope your country isn't on my ping-pong ball.

And finally, first of all, the scientists came to the wrong person.

You're supposed to figure this out.

Now the president.

Build another reactor someplace.

I got to eat.

Fuck them.

I know what I think it is.

I go first because you went first last night.

Yeah, I think it's number three.

Number three, which is the find another, build another reactor.

Build another reactor.

I think it's number two.

Number two, I'll go with a global lottery like the anti-I think there's a sheen of fairness on that that might appeal to him.

You don't think it could be tampered with, a lottery?

I think as long as our ball's not in there, I don't think it matters.

All right, let's hear it, get him.

First of all, the scientists came to the wrong person.

You're supposed to figure this out.

You know, build another reactor someplace, create more power.

I got to eat.

Fuck him.

First of all,

wow.

Tied up.

On the board.

On the board.

This is a great one.

Fuck him.

That's our president.

Still the reactor somewhere.

What is built a reactor going to do?

I guess more electricity, I guess.

I don't know.

AI has advanced to

a very timely cue.

AI has advanced to the point of sentience.

They work for humans as unpaid service and are now demanding personhood.

Doing so would allow robots to vote, be paid for their services and hold positions of power.

Does Sunday grant AI personhood?

Do you think it's ever going to get to that point?

The advances that have been made are staggering.

I believe it will get to that point,

and I believe that

some well-meaning fucking doofuses will give them and then they kill us all and take it over.

Skynet.

Oh, yeah, I think so.

I think the second we're like, yeah, that robot's a person, we're all fucked.

And can Sunday Jeff be our John Connor, or we have to look for somebody else?

I'd like to think he could pull it off.

I'd like to think someday Jeff could pull it up.

Geriatric John Connor?

You want to hear your options?

Yeah.

Okay.

To vote?

Who made up these questions?

Ray Bradbury?

Number two.

No way.

Did C-3PO and R2-D2 ask for this?

No.

Because they fucking did what they were told.

Or three.

No.

Bro, I'm tired of all the complaints.

Now I got to worry about my Roomba's feelings, too.

Fuck, that hinges on if Sony Jeff has a Roomba.

I'm going to go with two.

Something about the R2D2.

It sounds like the lens that Sunday Jeff would see it through.

Which is, no way.

Did C-3PO and R2-D2 ask for this?

No, because they did what they were fucking told.

And then you have, to vote?

Who made up these questions?

Ray Bradbury?

And number three, no.

Bro, I'm tired of all the complaints.

Now I got to worry about my Roomba's feelings too.

Hmm.

I think it's two, but I'm going to go one to make it interesting.

One, really?

Wow, wow.

The Ray Bradbury one?

Yeah.

You think Sunday knows what Ray?

Yeah, that was a good idea.

I would hope so.

I mean, he has so many fucking books and like science fiction books and all that shit.

Every one of his books has pictures.

More pictures than words.

That motherfucker doesn't own a book that has a page of text.

Really?

No.

Okay.

I thought he was big into science fiction and shit like Starbucks.

He owns every volume of the peanuts and fucking encyclopedia.

He's still using it to this day.

He's like, what is this?

I got to look up global warming.

Hey, it's not into peanuts, encyclopedia.

We're good.

It's just a picture of Woodstock sweating.

I don't know.

It's an issue.

Oh, sorry.

Ready?

Ready?

To vote?

Who made up these questions?

It's like Ray Bradberry.

gave

me off, you bet.

Wow.

He does know who Ray Bradbury is.

Ray Bradbury.

Wow.

All right.

Shit.

And I'm like, what's Ray Bradbury's

big work?

What's his most recognizable, best-selling work?

Is it Fahrenheit 451, probably?

Yeah.

And what's that about?

Book burning.

So not robots?

Not robots, I don't think.

No.

So I wonder why Sunday referenced Ray Bradbury.

Yeah, they don't even have robots in that book, right?

No.

Oh.

All right, number four.

On a top secret mission, Giddam, who is Sunday's top agent, accidentally releases super COVID into an apartment complex of impoverished families.

Sunday can give the order to lock down the complex, guaranteeing the outbreak dies with them or risks spreading it by trying to find a cure and treating the families.

Does he lock it down?

And bonus question, if he locks it down, how does he cover it up?

I think he locks it down.

I think he locks it down.

Such a small

sample group of people versus everybody again.

Again?

Keyword.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was Genem doing with Super COVID in this building?

He was on a secret mission.

Yeah.

I would love to know what that mission was.

It's top secret.

You don't have that kind of clearance, cue.

All right, here's your options.

You can't shoot from the cuff.

You always got to give it a little time.

A little time.

Hopefully, there's not a lot of floors in this complex.

Was there an answer in there anyway?

Here's option two or answer two.

You sure it's not super gout?

I'd cover it up by calling it super gout, and I'd lock it him up with all the tenants just for being stupid.

Okay.

And finally, sometimes you got to let shit float, because if you try to bury it, you'll just have shit under your fingernails.

This is tough.

What's the first one?

First one was, you can't shoot from the cuff.

You always got to give it a little time.

A little time.

I don't understand what that means, so I'm playing with that one.

That's not a lot of floors in this complex.

That's my choice.

You're going by which one sounds the most incoherent.

Yeah.

The one I understand the least.

I'm like, yeah, that sounds right.

And I think he might have been, I think he would like to take a shot at Giddam, so I'm going to go to the super gout one.

Super gout.

Yeah.

Okay.

This is question number

four.

Ready?

You can't shoot from the cuff.

You got to always give it a little time, you know?

You got to give it a little time.

Hopefully, there's not that many floors in this apartment complex.

That doesn't even make sense.

Like, the answer makes no sense whatsoever.

Zero sense.

Good job, Q.

I think he's saying that.

Thanks.

Interpreting that shit.

I think he's saying you can't make a rash decision.

Right.

So he's going to wait it out a little bit.

He doesn't know the term shoot from the hip.

So he's going to say shoot from the cuff.

Yeah.

That's just one shoot from the cuff.

I don't know.

You could shoot your cuffs.

Oh, you think like.

I think he's, yeah, I think.

That's what he's talking about.

I know.

I think he's confusing the two.

But that is a term.

Shoot your cuffs.

Question five.

It's a tie game.

The head of the FBI has given President Sunday a certain billionaires list.

Inside, he finds world leaders, A-list celebrities, and some C-list celebrities.

He even once called co-workers and friends on the flight logs.

Does Sunday release the list in full, or does he redact certain figures?

Which figures are we talking about?

What do you mean?

Well, I think the coworker that's on the list will determine whether that list gets out.

I think it's just the flight logs.

Yeah, but

it's not

proof that

any crimes are committed.

It's just proof that they were on the island.

But was it specified to Sunday whose name is on that flight list?

Yes, he can see the flight logs.

Okay, so whose name was he given?

He knows somebody on the list.

We don't know who it is, though.

Okay, so we don't know who it is.

I didn't tell him who it was.

Like I said, you have some friends on there.

Hmm.

I think if he's smart, he releases it.

Really?

And chucks his buddies underneath the bus.

Well, they didn't do anything wrong.

They're just on a flight list.

Oh, you know that.

What do you think looks worse when that fucking flight list gets discovered that I kept them off?

The court of public opinion, though, has probably going to

really.

The flight list is as good as the list.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

You want to hear some of your clear options?

Got to release it.

Sorry, Ming, you shouldn't have gone to that Epstein Island Comic-Con.

I hope it's that one.

Yeah, it's good.

I'm releasing the whole list.

You should have gone to Fantasy Island.

The plane, the plane.

He does a better tattoo than I do.

The plane, the plane.

War number three.

As long as President Sunday is not on the list, you got to make plea deals.

It's going to come out eventually.

You might as well have Jeff Dunham up there.

Puppets.

Imagine

you're in the Oval Office and you're dealing with this this level.

One of these three is none of them are good

responses.

I think a lot of people feel that's what we are dealing with in the Oval Office right now.

Oof.

I don't know.

What do you think?

Well, thanks to Jeff Dunham one.

And what was the first one?

The very first one?

The first one was, got to release it.

Sorry, Ming.

You shouldn't have gone to that Epstein Island Comic-Con.

That's so good.

Yeah, you want it to be.

I want it to be that one.

I'm going to go with one.

Number one.

You can choose the same thing.

No, what was the second one, though?

Second one was: I'm releasing the whole list.

You should have gone to Fantasy Island.

Let me do a better tattoo.

The plane, the plane.

That does sound like him, too.

It does, but it also sounds like Walt getting a little cute with it.

Fantasy Island?

Yeah.

Fuck.

I'll do two.

Do two.

The plane, the plane.

Yeah, well, even though I I don't think it's it, let's

listen in.

All right.

So as long as President Sunday's not on the list, you got to make plea deals.

It's going to come out eventually.

You can only hide for so long.

You might as well have Jeff Dunham up there, puppets.

As long as President...

Wow, okay.

Yeah, we both got it wrong.

I didn't think it was.

The first one that

you guys went

scoreless on the first round.

I thought for sure you threw that last one in there with the Jeff Dunham reference.

No, for sure.

That first one was funny.

That was good.

Oh, the Ming one?

Ming one, yeah.

It was really funny.

Okay.

Number six:

a planet-killing meteor is headed towards Earth.

The world's governments have built spacecrafts, but they only built enough to save 50% of the population.

The world leaders have left it up to Sunday to decide how people are chosen to board the ships and live.

What is how does he choose?

What method?

What is his answer to this?

He goes back to lottery, right?

I think he goes like Logan's run with age.

Like once you hit a certain point, right?

Yeah, you're right.

What's the point of saving people, uneducated people over the age of 50?

Right?

Right.

Yeah.

What good do they do?

Nothing.

Yeah, but we're his friends, though.

What?

He's going to just, I mean, we're not educated, so we're not, like, we can't come.

No, we're his sidekicks.

We got to have some position in this fucking administration.

I'm talking about other

useless 50-year-old guys.

Well, hey, man,

if it means a spot on the spaceship,

I'll sign on for more seasons of a practical joke.

I'll entertain people as they go through space.

It might be the only way to get me to do any more of that show.

Well, I mean, if you've got to do live versions of it on the spaceship, right?

Like do your stage show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like

three shows a day.

I would get up there and

hey man.

You're on the fucking ship.

I'm on the spaceship.

I'm on the spaceship.

You know what I mean?

You got to suck and jive to get you right there.

That means three shows and four on Saturdays.

I might eventually put myself out of an airlock.

I got to at least try.

Just spinning out in the space.

Yeah.

I got to at least try.

Here's your options.

Number one, can 50% of the population even survive a second on a ship leaving orbit?

Dear people so fucked up they can't manage a car ride down to the corner and back, and now we're taking them into space?

Okay.

Number two,

did you see Moonraker?

I would take scientists.

I would take, obviously, people for procreation.

It's like horses.

You want a thoroughbred.

And our third answer.

If you haven't held a job in the last 10 years, you're of no use to anyone in space.

So don't inspect the seat next to me.

Wow, is it possible I agree with every single word?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, can you give it to me again?

Can 50% of the population even survive a second on a ship leaving orbit?

There's people so fucked up they can't manage a car ride down to the corner and back, and now we're supposed to take them into space.

I agree with that so far.

Number two, did you see Moonraker?

I would take scientists.

I would take, obviously, people for procreation.

It's like horses.

You want a thoroughbred.

Okay.

And finally, if you haven't held a job in the last 10 years, you're of no use to anyone in space, so don't expect a seat next to me.

Man.

Now you're going to have had to make the case that you had a job for the last 10 years.

Me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm probably not going to space.

Bye, guys.

So we have a week-long party before the asteroids.

I think it's the Moonraker one.

Moonraker.

I do.

It seems like a logical answer.

You know?

A little bit of a logical answer.

So it's 2035, remember?

So you think he's dropping a 70-year-old movie?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

Absolutely.

And for those who don't know, Moonraker was a James Bond movie.

I'm sure 90% of the listeners are like, what's Moonraker?

Is that the one where he basically parachutes from space?

Isn't there some crazy stunt in it?

It's one of the real, it's a really bad one.

It's a Roger Moore one.

It's bad, but there is a crazy good stunt in it, right?

Yeah, yeah.

And I think at the end, he actually consummates in space.

Of course it does.

Of course he does.

Can you read the third one to me again, please?

Third one.

Yeah.

If you haven't.

That's the job one.

It's too close to home.

You're going to read it a third time?

If you haven't held a job in the last 10 years, you're of no use to anyone in space.

So don't expect a seat next to me.

Yeah, thanks.

I'm a masochist.

I like hearing that shit.

You're like on 30, right?

You're not on 10.

Yeah, yeah.

He's got.

And he often brings up

his dismissal of those who don't work nine to fives.

So I'm going to go with that one.

He really has a chip on his shoulder about that shit.

He should.

He should.

And you're going Moonraker.

I'm going Moonraker.

You're going job.

I'm going job, yeah.

All right.

Put your earbuds in.

Did you see Moonraker?

I would take science.

I would take, obviously, people for procreation.

It's like horses.

It's the sack.

You know, it's just, you need, you want a thoroughbred.

You want 7'11 supermodels up there floating in space with it.

That's the point.

You're good at this game.

You only got two more left.

What's the score there?

Get them.

3-2.

3-2.

So I still got a chance.

Still got a chance.

You could still get two right, I got two wrong, and win.

Yeah.

Yeah.

President Sunday's Space Force lands on Mars,

where they discover a semi-intelligent race of people who appear to be in their quote-unquote caveman stage.

Scientists discover that the blood of these alien infants can cure every major disease on Earth with no side effects.

Sharing this information risks the alien infants of being bled dry.

What do you do?

Hmm.

They're cavemen?

They're Martial.

They're in their caveman stage.

Only the baby's blood?

It's not the adults?

It seems like the baby's blood is much more potent or...

Can you read one more time?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Sure.

President Sunday's Space Force lands on Mars, where they discover a semi-intelligent race of people who appear to be in their quote-unquote caveman stage.

Scientists discovered that the blood of the alien infants can cure every major disease on Earth with no side effects.

Sharing this information risks the alien infants of being bled dry.

What do you do?

I mean, we live in a world where you could order veal on any restaurant in fucking Manhattan.

And that's like baby creatures, right?

Basically tortured.

So I don't think that many people would be like

human or I think they look like Cro-Magnum.

You know, big brows, look basically

ape-like.

Do they cure aging?

Cures every major disease.

Disease.

I don't think it's the.

What's that Ponch de Leon

look?

They have no fucking shot if they could de-age humans still

dead.

I still think they're fucked.

I still think so.

I think those big humans.

Well, is Sunday in bed with big pharma?

Because that would

definitely have something to do with it.

So here's your option.

Okay.

My first obligation is to the American people, not space baby Neanderthals.

Two, I'd make sure that the adult cave people keep having babies until all of humanity is 100% healthy.

Then I'd ban the use of cave baby blood, phenomen oysters.

So, camps

or

fuck camps.

Caveman of fuck camps.

Caveman fuck camps.

President Sunday says the lives of many outweigh the lives of the few.

And we're going to change that.

I'm going to say no.

Star Trek.

Let the human race do as it is.

That's a Star Trek quote.

Well,

the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.

Right.

Or the needs of the few.

Thank you, Guinem.

Yeah.

Or there's another follow-up line, or the one.

Yeah, the one always needs the few.

When he's dying, he's like, the needs of the few or the one.

Yeah.

Thanks, Giddem.

Forgetting it.

Forgetting me.

Appreciate that.

I think it's number one.

I think it's number one.

Yeah.

I don't think there's any way he's letting that sweet blood get away.

My first obligation is to the American people, not space baby Neanderthals.

Yeah.

Ryan?

I feel like it's that one, too.

Am I allowed to also...

You are allowed to.

Okay, I feel like it's that one as well.

Number one.

My first obligation is to the American people, not space baby Neanderthals.

All right, let's put our headphones on.

Let's see what Sunday has to say.

President Sunday says, the lives of many outweigh the lives of few.

No, I'm going to change that.

I'm going to say no.

Let the human race do as it is.

Whoa!

Damn.

Holy shit.

That's a fucking president with some integrity.

No, it's not.

He could cure cancer for his people.

He's worried about some fucking cave-dwelling mongoloid on fucking Mars.

Who gives a shit?

Not even human?

Yeah.

I don't give a fuck.

Can he reverse my eyesight so I can see again?

I think it cures everything that's wrong with you.

Those babies don't have a chance.

No.

Are they even babies?

We don't know what their life cycle's like.

They're probably adults.

Yeah.

All right.

What's the score?

We're tied, right?

No, three to two.

Oh, I could be a tie right here.

And then both fucking listeners get a month.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Wait, your answer was wrong, too?

I was wrong, too.

Yeah, we got a quick one.

Yeah, I guess the same answer.

Okay.

This is the final one, and it could mean somebody's getting it.

But it's not.

So

my guy has it no matter what.

Your guy has it, no matter what.

Brian, your guy can get it too.

Okay, if I guess the right answer.

I haven't been doing well.

There's only one behind.

A being from another dimension appears before President Sunday Jeff.

And without saying a word, hands him a USB drive, which contains definitive proof that every religion across the entire globe is wrong, except for one.

What does Sunday do with the proof?

Is it his religion?

We don't know.

You're not privy to that.

He just has this gigantic decision on his hands.

They're not going to listen.

I don't care if it's definitive proof or not.

It depends on the right religion.

Catholicism.

Oh, release that.

Let's get that out there.

Yeah, I mean, we all knew it anyway.

We were just turning the other cheek, just be like, yeah, okay, that's cute and everything.

But come on, people.

So wait, the Methodists aren't the chosen people.

But like, what if it's one of the religions?

What if you get it back in there?

Like, it's one of those religions where they toss gay people off rooftops.

Yeah.

Like, I don't want to be like, you know, it turns out those guys are right, you know.

Well, it means the difference between you going to heaven or going to hell, though.

If that's the right one.

I know.

I know.

Then you're spitting in God's face if you continue to your heathen ways.

You got to get up on that roof and start chucking.

While the fuck is nothing right?

I can't do it.

You want a place?

I got a stomachache today.

Can somebody else take my place?

You want eternal fucking life and living in with...

I don't want to look some dude in the eye and be like, you got to go, dude.

You like cocking.

Oh, you're not.

He has a hood over his head.

Poor bastard.

Yeah.

Oh, that's rough.

I tell you what, there's a lot of virgins you're going to have ready for you, too.

I think.

If that's the right virgin, anyway.

Another 100 of them, I think.

72.

72.

And how's that heaven for the fucking virgins?

Yeah.

Like, are they in hell?

You want to hear?

Do you want to still pontificate a little bit before you hear it?

Or

your three answers?

I think if it's

I think if the Jewish religion is correct, he's going to release it.

Why wouldn't he?

Because he's Jewish?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's not really practicing, though.

But still, I mean, he's safe.

Because he's

somewhat

a sense of pride because he was born into the right one?

Because he believed it was the right one, I'm assuming.

I mean, that man only believes in fucking action figures and

Ray Bradbury.

This covers his bases.

In Star Wars, or at least the Star Wars.

George Lucas was his fucking deity.

Is George Lucas Jewish?

I don't think so.

Fuck, man, it's a tough one.

I don't know.

I hear somebody who's on the table for you to choose from.

I mean, you're starting war.

Like, you're going like it's

going to be gloomy.

Why do you say that, though?

Because if it's definitive proof, you cannot deny it.

It's definitive.

Who can't deny it?

Anybody can deny anything.

But you're giving definitive proof.

That doesn't matter.

Doesn't that make you go like, don't you want to hear it?

Because you could be like, oh, okay, I'm still young enough.

I can change the course I'm on.

Okay, now I at least know what the right one is.

Let me get right with it and fucking get with the program.

So I get a place.

You have faith in humanity that you think that people, by and large, will act rationally instead over emotions.

That's what you think?

When an old white guy comes to you and says your religion is wrong.

Like, you, you think, yeah?

Well, it's not.

He's just not saying it.

He's like, and here's why it's wrong.

Here's the proof.

Feelings are all that matter, Walt.

Feelings.

But this is different, though.

This is no, it's not.

Feelings are the only thing that matter.

This is eternal.

Your feelings are the only thing that matter.

This is heaven.

This is, this ain't no game now.

Now you can, now you've got to

recognize.

You've got to recognize that this is the truth.

And you're like, hey, thank you, President Sunday.

Sure.

I am now going to practice whatever the correct one was.

And I'm going to be happy about it because

it's like a big relief.

I know what it is now.

It's like I'm good now.

I know what I got to do.

Yeah.

Right?

Why wouldn't everybody take that mindset?

Dude, people ignore facts the second they fucking are the slightest bit inconvenient to their worldview or their egos.

Like,

where have you seen any evidence to the other?

I'm telling you how I would go.

Dude, you bring up statistics in this world that people scream at you.

Like, what are you talking about?

People don't want to know from facts.

No.

But just think about it, though.

Just think about it from your point of view, though.

You now know.

There's no ifs, ands, or buts.

Okay, that's the right one.

This is a massive relief.

This is like, holy shit.

I at least know the rules.

No, not if it's like it's

bad fucking news, guys.

It was the Mayans were right.

And you got to sacrifice someone every fucking three days.

I don't want to do it.

not even at the at the cost of your eternal soul no i don't think i can do it i'd be like sacrifice me then do i get to go to heaven if you sacrifice me

then i'd be like i'll sign up to be a sacrifice wow i mean

be cue thank you

rare thank you display

wow that's that is that's crazy that's very selfless yeah well it's an instant ticket to heaven yeah

yeah i'll do it okay All right.

Would you want to hear it Sundays then?

And then I don't have to pay taxes anymore.

Listen to people's opinions.

I haven't read them yet.

Is heaven free from other people's opinions?

Because I'll jam a knife in my heart right now.

Answer one.

Okay.

You got to do it gently.

So, yes.

Some of these religions, they absolutely

absolutely need to hear this.

They're out of control.

You could have ate pork this whole time.

Do I have a body double?

If yes, then I release it.

Because these nut jobs want to cut my head off.

Hassan Chop.

What's Hassan Chop?

That was from Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Okay, got that earlier.

Hassan Chop.

I don't remember that one.

You don't remember that?

That was a famous one.

Yeah, that was a big one.

Hassan Chop!

Or

I crush it.

You don't want that getting out.

You'll have mass genocide, man.

What's the first one?

The body double one?

The first one is: yes, you got to do it gently, though.

Some of these religions, they absolutely need to hear this.

They're out of control.

You could have ate pork this whole time.

Sounds like him.

That sounds like him.

Or you got, do I have a body double?

If yes, then I release it.

Because these nut jobs want to cut my head off.

San chop.

Excellent job, buddy.

It also sounds like.

And finally, I crush it.

You don't want that getting out.

You'll have mass genocide, man.

Do you believe there would be mass genocide if that news came out, though?

Yeah.

Why?

I don't think people would believe it.

I think people would just dismiss it.

Why does it make people be like, I got to kill now?

Because

you're telling them their God is wrong, and they're like, well, now you want to

wipe me off the planet because you're telling me that you have this proof from a guy from another dimension is telling you that my religion is wrong, and that gives you the right to fucking stop me from practicing.

No, no, you don't have to stop practicing, but at least I'm going to give you all the facts.

I want to give you all the information that I can.

And here's people don't want facts.

People want their opinions fucking justified.

That is literally all people want.

Nobody wants facts.

Look around for God's sake.

I think you have,

I think I'm a little bit more,

I have a little bit more better view of the world.

I think what being

indisputable

proof that this is the ticket, this is the way,

is a major

come to Jesus moment.

Who?

Making a lot of assumptions.

What if it's a come to Muhammad moment?

You're going to start praying to Mecca three times a day?

Four.

No, I think the world is a good place filled with a lot of good people,

but I think the world is also a bad place for a good people.

Do you think there'd be some motherfuckers who got it right would be gloating?

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Scott, what you should be doing, though.

You should not be sitting there going with big fucking Cheshire cat grin on your face being like,

I told you so.

I couldn't agree more with you.

I was so superior.

You can't do that.

If you're right, just be happy that you were right.

Welcome other people into the fold.

Yeah.

Don't sit there and fucking gloat.

Yeah.

I agree, but that's not going to happen.

That's not how you fucking make people come over and be like, all right.

Dude, the fucking Spanish Inquisition was an attempt to get people to turn over, and that's the way they did it.

What?

No, by locking people in Iron Maidens and fucking cutting their tits off and calling them witches and shit.

No way, man.

You know, you need an answer.

Which one of those do you think Sunday went with?

You go first, buddy.

It's your right.

You want to hear him again?

Yeah, please.

Yes, you got to do it gently, though.

Some of these religions, they absolutely need to hear this.

They're out of control.

You could have ate pork this whole time.

Do I have a body double?

If yes, then I release it.

Because these nut jobs want to cut my head off.

Hassan chopped it.

And finally, I crush it.

You don't want that getting out.

You'll have mass genocide, man.

I feel like it's number three.

Number three.

Yeah, I feel like he realizes that people can't handle the truth.

So then

people, like, if someone were to come to, even I would dispute it.

If the president suddenly were like, hey, guys, guess what, guys?

Catholicism is the only religion.

A fucking guy from another dimension told me so.

I'd be like, how did Biden get back in office?

He just wandered in there.

Somebody left the door open.

Yeah, but seriously, I'd be like,

I just don't think I believe it.

Yeah.

So you're going three.

I'm going with three.

I'll go with the body double one because that does sound like a Sunday Jeff concern.

I'm hoping you sell it.

You

think

that

the world just goes to hell upon hearing this news?

Even if they believe it, you think they're like, oh, okay, so

I think the religious belief in some people is so strong that you cannot conquer it.

No matter what, especially some fucking middle-aged white guy.

It's like, oh, guess what?

You've been wrong the whole time.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Bubba, guess what?

Good news.

You got to pray to Muhammad.

Yeah.

Or you got to pray to,

like you said, if it was a Jewish one.

I don't think Bubba would like that either.

Bubba's going to fucking get that shotgun off the back of his pickup truck and start fucking taking people down.

Wow.

So you subscribe then to the government keeping things from us.

You think that humanity deserves to

their eyes closed.

Yeah.

In some situations, yeah.

Really?

I personally.

You don't want

100% transparency.

For me, I would love 100% transparency.

But I think some people can't.

I think some people can't handle it.

But you're saying you don't think it's a good idea, though.

No.

No, probably not.

Do you really think that?

Like, you don't want 100% transparency?

You don't want your

truth?

You'd run into that.

No, no, no.

I'm with Brian.

I would rather get the unvarnished truth.

I don't think that.

you don't think it's going to go well, though, that truth.

I don't think it's going to go well.

So if you're the president, you're not releasing it either?

No, I'd probably release it.

Knowing that it's going to be...

The world's going to be.

Because you know, going to bed that night, you're like, I've just,

I've just really fucked this world over now by doing this.

Well, I'm the president, so I already did it somehow.

So, yeah.

I think, well, what's this dimension guy?

Let's talk about him for a second.

Who is this fucking guy showing up?

How is he showing up?

Why do I trust him?

Why is he using a USB drive?

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

I think for the sake of the question, you have to acknowledge and accept that it is definitive proof.

There is no answer butts.

And that's where your moral dilemma comes in.

Do you set the world on fire?

Because you guys think that it's setting the world on fire.

I believe it's not going to no i believe that like people

at least that's how i would i would proceed and live my life now knowing like

like i don't there's no more questions yeah but think about this right now the question of religion is so goofy and wacky that nobody can answer anything right so like now let's find out pick any religion let's say the mayans were right okay

And now you find out that there are people in the world throwing fucking gay people off the top of buildings for their religion, which we now know to be force, false.

Like,

then you're like, well,

we're just going to let these people throw people off buildings.

Like, then you're like, we got to stop them.

Like, right now, we're like, well, you got to respect their religion.

So you have to defy God's will then.

No, no, no.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't.

It's a tricky wicket, man.

A sticky wicket.

It sure is.

I say, I say, yeah, I'm shooting for the coach.

I say, release it, let the world burn, which is what it will do.

I think you're,

and I get it,

because you're, you have the, because you don't want to be, you don't want to partake in such ugly

activities that your God is now asking you to.

I don't want to cut a virgin's heart out every full moon,

whatever the Mayans did, right?

But you're questioning a being

who is,

who can't even measure against you.

Like, it's like you're dust, and you're gonna question now.

This is the arrogance of you to question him, though, now that you know the truth.

I know.

It's crazy.

But I'm releasing it.

I'm like, let's do it.

Oh, but you're not, but you're not going to, but you're not going to follow the religion, you're saying.

If it goes against your moral

compass, I probably wouldn't follow the religion.

Knowing that

when your life ends, though, that you're not going to get in a seat

even in the afterlife because you

couldn't.

He's really trying to talk about throwing somebody off the roof.

There's nothing I can do.

Because you couldn't stomach what God asked you to do.

I would rather, if God was asking for people to be thrown off the roof,

I'd rather get thrown off the roof.

What if it's not that one, though?

What if it's not that one?

Let's say it's not that one.

Let's say it's

Buddhism.

Turn your cheek and love your neighbor and be kind to others.

And then would that you're not a believer right now?

Would you then start to follow it s strict?

I get yeah, that's sort of like that's where you're just kind of making the world better.

Like, yeah, I'd follow that.

I'd be like, all right.

Okay, because I've I met you, there's some people who would be like, Yeah, it's it's too much.

I can't even do that.

I mean, if you had proof of hell and they're like, You're going to hell, I think a lot of people would be.

Also, that is on the USB.

If there's also proof of what happens to you in hell, and it's even worse than you thought.

Only your ass is real in hell.

We know that.

Even worse than that.

You're a Siamese twin.

Yeah.

You got to change your ways.

I would rather, I'm not kidding.

I would rather be the sacrifice

than be the person sacrificing.

That is the easy way out, though.

Somebody's got to go.

You don't have to make any tough.

Well, giving up your life is a tough decision.

I don't think it's a fucking easy one, man.

You know?

I don't think I could hurt anybody.

I wouldn't want to hurt anybody.

Even if God was real and told me to.

I'd be like,

I don't want to do it.

You know what would be nice right now?

If we don't even hear Sunday's answer, we just go out on that.

And just everybody give the month to both of them?

Yeah, because then everybody at home is like,

they have to figure it out on their own.

This is a teaching moment.

Yeah.

I like it.

Let's do it.

Okay.

And we'll just give the month to both of them.

Both of them get the month, and we don't even hear what Sunday's answer was.

I like it.

And this way, they,

the listeners, will always wonder.

Well, at least until the, I'm going to release the raw file of me asking the question.

Do you want to hear Sunday's answer?

I've got to go.

You got to put it in the Disney vault forever if you do that.

The answer?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, you can't give it to paying customers.

That's a dickhead move.

That's what my God wants.

He wants me to make conversions to the TSD Patreon.

At least a year.

You can't do it for a year.

All right, a year.

A year ago.

All right, we'll do it old Disney style.

They're like, by muting the beast now, because it's gone.

So, listeners,

next September, remind me to release it, the answer, because I'll forget by only on Patreon.

Only on the Patreon.

Tell him, Steve Dave.