TDS Time Machine | The Trump-Epstein Saga

Speaker 1 You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 2 Because with Joe Biden struggling in the polls, Donald Trump is already making plans to once again take on the Washington swamp.

Speaker 2 In a recent interview with Fox News, he promised to stop by exposing all the things the deep state doesn't want you to know. Well, almost all the things.

Speaker 3 Some people think that one way to build trust is to declassify things. If you were president, would you declassify, you can answer yes or no to these.
Would you declassify the 9-11 files? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Would you declassify JFK files?

Speaker 3 Would you declassify the Epstein files?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, I would.

Speaker 5 I guess I would. I think that less so.

Speaker 2 That was a bit suspicious, right?

Speaker 2 Like 9-11, yes. JFK, yes.

Speaker 7 Epstein?

Speaker 4 Man,

Speaker 2 let's know.

Speaker 2 I mean, look at the panic in Trump's eyes. I've seen more relaxed people on the exit row of a Boeing flight.

Speaker 4 And why, though?

Speaker 2 Like, why are you so weird with the Epstein stuff? It's not like Donald Trump has any particular reason to not want the Epstein files opened up. I mean, let's hear him out.
Hear his full answer.

Speaker 9 I think that less so because, you know, you don't know. You don't want to affect people's lives if it's phony stuff in there because there's a lot of phony stuff with that whole world.

Speaker 2 Okay, he's definitely in that file.

Speaker 11 He is in the FD files.

Speaker 2 He's already like, look, there's going to be a lot of phony stuff in there. Names, pictures, my DNA.

Speaker 4 You can't believe any of it.

Speaker 2 He's obviously not worried about protecting other people. I mean, this is the same guy who said Obama was born in Kenya and Ted Cruz's dad killed JFK, okay?

Speaker 2 Now all of a sudden he's like, look, if you put some inaccurate information out there, it could really destroy someone's reputation. Okay, we need to err on the side of caution here.

Speaker 2 Besides, it doesn't even matter. You don't need to ask Trump to declassify anything.

Speaker 2 He's just going to leave it at the buffet table at Ma-a-Lago.

Speaker 2 Luckily for America, Christine Noam isn't the only one in charge of keeping the country safe.

Speaker 2 We also got Cash Patel and Dan Bongino, two guys who look like they should be henchmen in a Ninja Turtles movie,

Speaker 2 but are somehow running the FBI now. And before he took over, Dan Bongino wasn't afraid to tell us the truth about what the FBI was covering up.

Speaker 14 Nobody knows how much material people have on Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 15 It's unbelievable. The guy killed himself, and now nobody's going to know.

Speaker 16 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 Epstein killed himself?

Speaker 2 Bongino knows the truth, and now he and Cash Patel get to see all the files. So on Sunday, they sat down for an interview to tell us what really happened.

Speaker 2 Because we know Epstein didn't just kill himself.

Speaker 6 He killed himself.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 2 He killed himself without air quotes?

Speaker 2 That is the craziest thing I've ever heard, all right? I was a single issue voter on this. Why did you change your mind?

Speaker 20 As a public defender, as a prosecutor who's been in that prison system, who's been in the Metropolitan Detention Center, who's been in segregated housing,

Speaker 20 you know a suicide when you see one, and that's what that was.

Speaker 21 Again, you want me to get,

Speaker 22 I've seen the whole file.

Speaker 23 He killed himself.

Speaker 2 I've never seen someone so sad that the deep state didn't kill someone.

Speaker 2 And also, hey, you can't talk so much shit about how the deep state did this and make it your entire personality, and then now you're in it and you're like just shrugging it off, like, oh yeah, I guess they were right the first time they investigated this.

Speaker 2 Hey, if you fail that hard, you gotta let Hillary Clinton kill you, right?

Speaker 25 By the way, can we just point out how crazy 2025 is?

Speaker 2 Most people can't afford to eat eggs anymore. Meanwhile, these two billionaires are attacking each other from different social media platforms that they each own.

Speaker 26 Maybe we should eat the rich.

Speaker 11 But Trump,

Speaker 2 But Trump, Elon, let's calm down. All right, things are getting a little too heated.
At this point, we can still walk away from this.

Speaker 2 Let's not say something we can never take back, right?

Speaker 6 Right?

Speaker 28 Elon Musk tweeting within the past one minute,

Speaker 28 time to drop the really big bomb at Real Donald Trump is in the Epstein files. That's the real reason they have not been made public.
Have a nice nice day, BJT, exclamation point.

Speaker 28 All right,

Speaker 29 that's what we were talking about.

Speaker 29 Which, now,

Speaker 30 to be fair to Trump,

Speaker 31 it is ridiculous.

Speaker 34 I mean, you can't just make wild accusations like that just because Trump and Epstein hung out once or twice, or Trump was in the flight logs, or Epstein called Trump his closest friend, or they went to parties and whispered, you know, I can only assume biblical passages in each other's ear.

Speaker 17 I'm telling you, I'm telling you, Epstein, two Corinthians, you gotta check it out.

Speaker 11 It's fing awesome.

Speaker 38 It's not a crime to be in each other's hearts.

Speaker 26 And what indication has Trump ever given that there may be things within those Epstein files that may be concerning to him?

Speaker 3 Would you declassify the 9-11 files? Yeah. Would you declassify JFK files?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 39 I did. I did a lot of it.

Speaker 3 Would you declassify the Epstein files?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, I would.

Speaker 5 I guess I would.

Speaker 9 I think that less so because, you know, you don't know. You don't want to affect people's lives if it's phony stuff in there.

Speaker 9 A lot of phony stuff in there.

Speaker 36 You know, you can put anything in a file, say anything about anybody.

Speaker 26 By the way, just for the record, asking a 17-year-old masseuse if she's planning on staying in the United States.

Speaker 42 That's a legitimate question.

Speaker 11 And the rest of the video is AI.

Speaker 37 If there's a video,

Speaker 33 my favorite moment was when the head of the FBI, Cash Patel, found out Elon accused Trump of being on the Epstein list live while podcasting.

Speaker 44 Does he know that Donald Trump is in the Epstein files? Or does he have access to the Epstein files?

Speaker 20 I don't know how he would, but I'm just staying out of the Trump-Elon thing. That's way outside my lane.

Speaker 20 I know my lane, and that ain't it.

Speaker 45 Not your lane?

Speaker 29 Aren't you literally in charge of the FC files?

Speaker 35 I know my lane.

Speaker 10 I'm just a guy in charge of law enforcement domestically. Conspiracies, crimes, cover-ups, Home Depot parking, overcrowding.

Speaker 2 The last bipartisan issue in America. What happened to Jeffrey Epstein?

Speaker 2 We've all been waiting for years for more details to come out about his crimes and his mysterious death.

Speaker 2 And now that Trump's in office and he said he'll release that information, we can finally get some answers.

Speaker 1 The DOJ says it's case closed on Jeffrey Epstein's alleged client list and his death.

Speaker 46 After months of promising the public release of the Jeffrey Epstein client list, the Justice Department, the FBI now saying the client list doesn't exist.

Speaker 47 The DOJ says it will not be releasing any more material from the case files.

Speaker 48 What, that's it?

Speaker 2 It just not going to release any more information?

Speaker 2 I've never been ghosted by a conspiracy before.

Speaker 2 I mean, this is crazy. I could have sworn that someone said there was an Epstein client list.

Speaker 32 Who was that?

Speaker 1 The DOJ may be releasing the list of Jeffrey Epstein's clients?

Speaker 4 Will that really happen?

Speaker 50 It's sitting on my desk right now to review.

Speaker 2 Oh yeah, the f ⁇ ing Attorney General of the United States said the client list was on her desk. Let me guess, your desk also hung itself

Speaker 2 Pam Bondi was supposed to release the pedophile list. If we wanted an attorney general to cover up sex crimes, we would have stuck with Matt Gates, okay?

Speaker 2 At this point, it's like the only way we can learn about who is a certified pedophile is if Kendrick Lamar makes a song about them.

Speaker 4 Look, I don't know what they believe anymore.

Speaker 2 Okay, can you just declassify something?

Speaker 51 The Justice Department also releasing more than 10 hours of purported footage, which they say supports the medical examiners finding Epstein died by suicide while in custody in 2019.

Speaker 51 The video allegedly shows the view from across Epstein's cell door in a Manhattan prison, indicating no one entered the area the night he died.

Speaker 2 Is that background music to that?

Speaker 2 Finally, some transparency from this administration. Conclusive evidence that leaves no room for debate.

Speaker 53 The release of that surveillance video has fueled some conspiracies itself.

Speaker 47 There appears to be a missing minute at midnight.

Speaker 4 It's very interesting that at the 1158 mark in 58 seconds, the video jumps to 12 o'clock and it's missing a full 61 seconds.

Speaker 2 What is going on here?

Speaker 2 Why would they edit out 61 seconds? Was Epstein listening to a Beatles song and the government couldn't get the rights to it?

Speaker 2 And if that wasn't suspicious enough, when Trump was asked about it in his cabinet meeting today, he was over it.

Speaker 55 Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein? This guy's been talked about for years.

Speaker 56 Are people still talking about this guy, this creep?

Speaker 56 That is unbelievable.

Speaker 2 Yeah, why are you guys obsessed with the suspicious death of my best friend in a federal prison when I was president right before he was going to be on trial for sex trafficking? It's so boring.

Speaker 35 Now, the impetus for Elmo's rant seems to be the Department of Justice memo that has just been released that said the Epstein sex trafficking case was officially closed and that no new information would be forthcoming.

Speaker 17 And while Elmo is demanding that the files be released,

Speaker 10 Donald Trump's response is brought to you by the letters F you.

Speaker 55 Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein? This guy's been talked about for years.

Speaker 56 Are people still talking about this guy, this creep?

Speaker 56 That is unbelievable.

Speaker 11 Unbelievable?

Speaker 11 You guys ran on it.

Speaker 40 Remember this?

Speaker 2 We need to release the Epstein list. That is an important thing.

Speaker 14 This Epstein sex ring operation, I'm not letting it go ever.

Speaker 2 Ever. Put on your big boy pants and let us know who the pedophiles are.

Speaker 31 Why would you have to change your pants to let us know

Speaker 6 who the pedophiles are.

Speaker 11 And why wouldn't you be wearing pants while you're researching this?

Speaker 26 And that was before the Trump administration took power. And by the way, they were still hyping the Epstein files after they took power.

Speaker 59 We have flight logs, we have information names that will come out.

Speaker 60 President Trump has given a very strong directive and that's going to be followed.

Speaker 61 So people can expect actual movement on this. It's not just empty promises.

Speaker 62 Oh, Donald Trump doesn't make empty promises.

Speaker 49 All right.

Speaker 33 Two of his wives and 10,000 unpaid contractors disagree.

Speaker 33 But

Speaker 26 these are all people who work for Trump that set the expectation.

Speaker 26 And I think because of that, surprisingly, MAGA World, for the first time in memory, isn't just slavishly acquiescing to Trump's reality distortion field.

Speaker 14 Where did that whole case go?

Speaker 2 Where did all the files go?

Speaker 14 They just went nowhere.

Speaker 2 No one even believes that.

Speaker 56 This stinks.

Speaker 56 This just reeks.

Speaker 62 Something is horribly wrong here.

Speaker 21 Pam Bondi needs to be fired.

Speaker 17 Yes, Pam Bondi,

Speaker 11 the ringleader.

Speaker 11 She makes the decisions.

Speaker 17 The backlash wouldn't die.

Speaker 17 So Trump had to go back out and kill the backlash,

Speaker 31 perhaps even making it look like a suicide.

Speaker 31 So this weekend,

Speaker 31 you heard him, Jim!

Speaker 26 So this weekend, Trump tried to reason with his base using their shared love language, long rambling truth social posts.

Speaker 63 In a social media post, the president asked his followers, what's going on with my boys and in some cases, gals.

Speaker 17 Let me stop you right there.

Speaker 35 Not to be all woke, but I believe they prefer the terms bros

Speaker 43 and hoes.

Speaker 16 But sorry, go on.

Speaker 35 You were explaining why it was time to move on from the Epstein case.

Speaker 64 Why are we giving publicity to files written by Obama, crooked Hillary, Comey, Brennan, and the losers and criminals of the Biden administration who conned the world with the Russia-Russia-Russia hoax, 51 intelligence agents, the laptop from hell, and more?

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 35 just to understand this, in a few months' time, we went from the Epstein files will expose the Democrats to the Epstein files were written by the Democrats and therefore can't be trusted.

Speaker 31 So let's move on.

Speaker 17 And then Trump brings up Hunter Biden's laptop as a reminder for all of us not to dwell on old conspiracy theories.

Speaker 49 What?

Speaker 17 So, problem solved?

Speaker 8 Right, MAGA World?

Speaker 35 Well, let's test it scientifically.

Speaker 65 How many of you are satisfied?

Speaker 2 You can clap.

Speaker 65 Satisfied with the results of the Epstein investigation?

Speaker 66 Clap.

Speaker 65 How many of you are not satisfied with the results of the investigation?

Speaker 30 Let me hear everyone who thinks sex trafficking should still be prosecuted say, hell yeah!

Speaker 30 Who wants to know more about a cabal of elite sex criminals?

Speaker 17 Just the ladies!

Speaker 17 So MAGA World is now in open revolt.

Speaker 11 You want to know how bad it's getting out there? They're literally burning their MAGA Army uniforms. Yeah.

Speaker 26 And you know there's just another guy standing next to them going,

Speaker 32 you know you got to flip them.

Speaker 33 That's your problem there.

Speaker 26 But clearly telling your base to just forget about Epstein isn't working.

Speaker 33 But if you know Trump, he can always just pivot to the classic Trump distraction. Throw something outlandish out there and watch the dogs chase the squirrel.

Speaker 11 I'm going to invade Greenland.

Speaker 4 I'm going to bomb Iran.

Speaker 17 He's going to try something big.

Speaker 28 President Trump is reigniting his decades-long feud with comedian Rosie O'Donnell.

Speaker 29 I think we're going to need a bigger boat.

Speaker 7 We are on week two of the MAGA Civil War over the Epstein files.

Speaker 7 And the Trump administration can't get its stories straight. There was a client list, then there was no client list.

Speaker 7 They were going to release all the files, and then they decided not to release any files. So let's see what today's excuse is.

Speaker 67 I would say that, you know, these files were made up by Comey. They were made up by Obama.

Speaker 8 They were made up by the Biden information.

Speaker 8 Okay, cool.

Speaker 8 Cool as a cucumber.

Speaker 7 This guy's not worried about a thing.

Speaker 48 So let me get this straight.

Speaker 7 According to Trump, all the top Democrats got together and said, let's create some fake files that destroy Trump's political career. They don't ever use them.

Speaker 48 They let Trump get elected.

Speaker 7 Don't use them.

Speaker 7 Let Trump get elected again, still don't use them.

Speaker 48 And then once he's the president, hope he releases the files without ever looking at them.

Speaker 42 Frankly.

Speaker 42 You know,

Speaker 7 that plan sounds so inconceivably bad. I do believe the Democrats might have come up with it.

Speaker 7 But Trump, Trump clearly wants everyone to just to move on. And after initially pushing back, some of them are getting the message.

Speaker 21 I think the DOJ should immediately move to unseal all the Epstein documents in the Southern District of New York. I think every file should be released to the public the same way as the JFK files.

Speaker 21 Honestly, I'm done talking about Epstein for the time being. I'm going to trust my friends in the administration.
I'm going to trust my friends in the government to do what needs to be done, solve it.

Speaker 69 Ball's in their hands. Oh, oh,

Speaker 7 wait a minute, wait a minute.

Speaker 11 The ball's in their hands, he says.

Speaker 7 Probably not the phrase I would use when

Speaker 7 talking about the Epstein files.

Speaker 11 The ball's in their hands.

Speaker 7 The shaft is in the courts.

Speaker 7 The taint is in the breadbasket.

Speaker 6 What the f are we doing here?

Speaker 7 A phrase you don't hear conspiracy theorists, free thinkers utter a whole lot is, I'm going to trust my friends in the government on this one.

Speaker 7 Clearly this issue has MAGA on its heels, which which means now is the time for Democrats to strike. Democrats, show us what you got.

Speaker 2 Congressman Hayton Johnson coming to give you some more ear candy or perhaps an earache.

Speaker 7 I was too harsh on the J6 choir.

Speaker 7 You know, I just feel for his poor aides who probably spent all week having to help him with this. Like, Rebecca, quick, give me a list of all the words that rhyme with suicide, please.

Speaker 7 But it's a fluid situation right now, and MAGA is trying to wrap their heads around it because they have a lot of unanswered questions.

Speaker 3 There are a lot of unanswered questions, but the biggest question is just what on earth is going on?

Speaker 70 I don't know what's happening.

Speaker 39 It doesn't make sense.

Speaker 66 I can't reconcile this Donald Trump with the Trump that we're seeing right now. The Trump that is gaslighting the public right now.

Speaker 7 For a limited time at McDonald's, get a Big Mac extra-value meal for $8.

Speaker 72 That means two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, and medium fries, and a drink.

Speaker 24 We may need to change that jingle.

Speaker 2 Prices and participation may vary.

Speaker 7 Why is Donald Trump refusing to release the Epstein files and telling everyone to shut up and move on?

Speaker 4 Well, okay.

Speaker 7 Let me offer one possible theory.

Speaker 7 Perhaps you've heard of Occam's razor. It's the idea that the most simple explanation is probably the correct one.
In the case of Trump and the Epstein files, let's call our theory

Speaker 7 Occam's giant fing machete.

Speaker 7 By now, you've probably heard that Donald Trump, Jeffrey Epstein, and Epstein's partner, Ghelane Maxwell, used to be friends. But it's worth understanding how close this friendship was.

Speaker 68 Trump says he's known Epstein since the late 80s, and pictures from the 90s show the president with Maxwell, who became Epstein's girlfriend.

Speaker 70 They were neighbors in Palm Beach.

Speaker 53 At one point, Epstein was a member at Mar-a-Lago.

Speaker 57 It's party time at Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago. And among the guests, Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 4 Come on in, show it a second.

Speaker 57 Trump and Epstein can be seen ogling the cheerleaders. Trump points one of them out and says, she's hot.

Speaker 57 Then he says something in Epstein's ear that has the financier doubled up in laughter.

Speaker 4 Now.

Speaker 8 Okay, now.

Speaker 48 Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Speaker 7 What did Trump say? It's impossible to know.

Speaker 7 And Donald Trump and Epstein didn't just party together. They were neighbors.
Epstein said he was Trump's closest friend for 10 years.

Speaker 7 In fact, Epstein's infamous little black book included 14 different numbers for Trump and his representatives. I mean, he had 14 separate ways to contact Donald Trump.

Speaker 7 I mean, when I drop my kid off at camp, I give two emergency contact numbers.

Speaker 7 And one of them is fake because I don't need the hassle, all right?

Speaker 7 And these guys didn't just party together. Epstein was a part of some major milestones in Trump's life.

Speaker 13 Jeffrey Epstein introduced Melania to Donald Trump.

Speaker 73 Trump was a frequent passenger on Epstein's plane, known as the Lolita Express. And Epstein told author Michael Wolfe, the first time he slept with Melania was on my plane.

Speaker 4 And that is how I met your mother, Baron.

Speaker 4 Any questions?

Speaker 7 I'll tell you, next time you're on a flight with a crying baby, just think about how much worse it could be.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 7 So right now, you might be thinking, fine, they were friends. They hung out.
That doesn't mean Trump knew about what Epstein was doing. And you know what? Maybe not.
But he clearly had some idea.

Speaker 68 In a 2002 interview with New York magazine, Trump showered praise on Epstein, calling him a, quote, terrific guy, and saying, it is even said he likes beautiful women as much as I do.

Speaker 68 And many of them are on the younger side.

Speaker 7 Do you know how creepy with women you have to be for Donald Trump to pick up on it?

Speaker 7 I mean, that's a real you're drunk friend taking the car keys from you moment.

Speaker 2 And you could still say, so what?

Speaker 7 They were close friends. They were mile high club pals.
That still doesn't mean that Trump is in the files. And maybe.

Speaker 7 But after Jeffrey Epstein died in prison, the only person left who knew all his secrets was Ghelane Maxwell.

Speaker 7 And when she got charged with sex trafficking, Trump's response was surprisingly sympathetic.

Speaker 39 I haven't really been following it too much. I just wish her well, frankly.
I've met her numerous times over the years, especially since I lived in Palm Beach and I guess they lived in Palm Beach.

Speaker 39 But I wish her well, whatever it is.

Speaker 74 You wish her well?

Speaker 11 Is that the right response?

Speaker 7 I think there's a reason they don't have that section in the Hallmark store.

Speaker 7 It's not there.

Speaker 7 It's not.

Speaker 52 Let's be clear.

Speaker 7 Law and order SPU doesn't start like in the criminal justice system. Sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous, and we wish the perpetrators well.

Speaker 6 Dun-dun!

Speaker 52 Okay, you know what?

Speaker 62 You know what?

Speaker 7 You want to take another shot at it? Maybe, maybe even more flailing and desperate?

Speaker 55 Yeah, I wish you well. I'd wish you well.

Speaker 2 I'd wish a lot of people well.

Speaker 55 And I do wish you well.

Speaker 10 I'm not looking for anything bad for her. I'm not looking bad for anybody.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 45 You wish bad things on everybody.

Speaker 45 Suddenly, you're wishing Ghelane well.

Speaker 7 You were harder on Kristen Stewart for cheating on Robert Pattinson.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 7 All right, all right, all right. So, so,

Speaker 7 to sum up to all the MAGA people who are so confused about why Trump doesn't want to release any of these files, maybe the answer has something to do with Occam's giant fing machete.

Speaker 7 It's not surprising that Trump would want to escape into a fantastical world of Unabomber fan fiction right now.

Speaker 7 Because back in the real world, he's still got all his supporters breathing down his neck to release the Epstein files. And no matter what Trump does, he just can't get them to shut up about it.

Speaker 67 I know you urge people to move on, but I'm curious: why do you think your supporters in particular have been so interested in the Epstein story?

Speaker 45 I don't understand about how it's been handled. I don't understand it.

Speaker 67 Why they would be so interested. He's dead for a long time.

Speaker 67 He was never a big factor in terms of life.

Speaker 7 Not the guy you call to give a eulogy.

Speaker 7 Also, you don't have to like Epstein, but he clearly was a big factor in terms of life.

Speaker 52 He's America's most famous sex criminal, which is quite a competitive category.

Speaker 7 This really highlights Trump's dilemma. He's desperate to tamp down the drama, but his entire career has only taught him to heighten the drama.

Speaker 7 I mean, you can't spend your whole life as the messy bitch from a reality show and then suddenly say, can we have some decorum here, please?

Speaker 7 Because this does not sound like Donald Trump.

Speaker 67 But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff.
It's sordid, but it's boring.

Speaker 11 It's boring!

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah, what's interesting about a global pedophile sex ring that involves the richest people in the world that I might be covering up in my own involvement in?

Speaker 11 News alerts!

Speaker 7 Anyway, who wants to hear about my copper tariffs?

Speaker 18 That's juicy.

Speaker 6 So, MAGA diehards, you've heard your dear leader.

Speaker 7 Epstein's just a boring dead guy who no one cares about. I'm sure you'll join him in saying it's time to move on.
Nothing more to see here.

Speaker 63 You should put everything out there and let the people decide it.

Speaker 75 I think that the American people need to see what's in there. And that's not hard to understand.
Do you think there needs to be more transparency?

Speaker 44 You don't believe what the Justice Department is saying?

Speaker 6 I don't know. No, I don't.
I don't. I think I don't.

Speaker 76 I don't trust him.

Speaker 11 Oh, man.

Speaker 19 That guy is flat out broken.

Speaker 7 I don't trust nothing no more.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go just fill my pocket with rocks and walk into the sea.

Speaker 52 Tell Manu Raju I love him.

Speaker 7 I mean, things are so bad, even Lauren Bobert is demanding answers.

Speaker 6 Although, being Lauren Bobert,

Speaker 7 she has a particular way of putting it.

Speaker 77 Of course, we want answers. No one is satisfied with what has been received or lack thereof.
No one is satisfied with the rollout of this.

Speaker 19 Yes, Mr. President.

Speaker 7 If Lauren Bobert was in charge, you better believe she would leave people satisfied.

Speaker 7 She

Speaker 7 would not be jerking everyone around

Speaker 7 and then leaving them frustrated like you.

Speaker 37 No, sir, with her, there would be a complete finish.

Speaker 7 This is a shocking turn of events for Donald Trump. His own sycophants are breaking ranks with him.
And even worse, they are demanding accountability.

Speaker 68 I think moving forward, we need a special counsel.

Speaker 77 That has got to happen. I want answers,

Speaker 77 and maybe that takes that special counsel to do so. Maybe Matt Gates can lead the special counsel.

Speaker 7 You want Matt Gaetz to investigate underage sex trafficking?

Speaker 7 Because it makes sense in a sort of game-recognized game way.

Speaker 7 I can see Matt Gaetz pulling up to R.

Speaker 18 Kelly's house saying, I'm putting together a team.

Speaker 7 Also, legally, I have to introduce myself.

Speaker 7 And this special counsel thing might have been the last straw because by this morning, Trump had absolutely lost it on his supporters.

Speaker 50 He posted this morning. He said, My past supporters have bought into this, quote, bullshit hook line and sinker.

Speaker 50 Don't even think about talking of our incredible and unprecedented success because I don't want their support anymore.

Speaker 11 God damn, he win.

Speaker 11 He win!

Speaker 52 Full messy bitch.

Speaker 7 If you can't handle me at my sex crimes crimes cover-up, you don't deserve me at my alligator concentration camps, you slots.

Speaker 17 If Donald Trump was hoping that this would be the weekend, that the Jeffrey Epstein story would finally go away, this would not be that weekend.

Speaker 70 A stunning story raising new questions about Trump's past relationship with the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 11 But I still have all the old questions

Speaker 11 that haven't got, and those questions might go bad.

Speaker 11 But

Speaker 11 go on.

Speaker 46 President Trump is lashing out at the Wall Street Journal for claiming that he once sent a 50th birthday card to financier Jeffrey Epstein that contained a body doodle.

Speaker 46 My God, a bawdy doodle.

Speaker 11 At long last, sir, have you no decency?

Speaker 26 What do we do in the news in Victorian England now?

Speaker 34 This scallywag said to be a ribbled daggerotype.

Speaker 11 My God, alert the constable.

Speaker 49 That's all you got, bawdy doodle.

Speaker 11 How bad can it be?

Speaker 78 And it's a cryptically written letter, a crude drawing.

Speaker 16 It contains several lines of typewritten text framed by the outline of a naked woman.

Speaker 52 A pair of small arcs denotes the woman's breasts.

Speaker 1 And the future president's signature is a squiggly Donald below her waist mimicking pubic hair.

Speaker 1 Pubic hair!

Speaker 1 Oh my god, you broke Blitzer!

Speaker 1 Pubic hair!

Speaker 33 By the way, not to to be, you know, the grammar police, but it's pubic hair.

Speaker 33 Pubic hair. That's the way the

Speaker 38 inflection. Pubic hair.

Speaker 38 Pubic hair!

Speaker 38 What's the deal with all the curls?

Speaker 11 No, it's not.

Speaker 11 Now,

Speaker 26 a billionaire sending another billionaire a birthday card with a playful nudie cartoon isn't incriminating in and of itself.

Speaker 26 It's really the creepiness of the sentiments expressed.

Speaker 35 Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately, unfortunately, our lead, Meryl Streep, was unavailable tonight.

Speaker 26 So, performing tonight's creepy birthday card,

Speaker 33 please welcome, ladies and gentlemen, Nicole Wallace.

Speaker 80 Voiceover, there must be more to life than having everything, the note began. Donald, yes, there is, but I won't tell you what it is.
Jeffrey, nor will I, since I also know what it is.

Speaker 80 Donald, we have certain things in common, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, yes, we do, come to think of it.

Speaker 80 Things in common.

Speaker 80 Can be anything.

Speaker 33 You can write all kinds of things you have in common inside the outline of a naked woman.

Speaker 34 We're both gluten intolerant.

Speaker 35 You both prefer window seats on airplanes to private islands.

Speaker 43 Oh God.

Speaker 33 I hope Act II of this play doesn't make it worse.

Speaker 80 Donald, enigmas never age. Have you noticed that? Jeffrey, as a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.
Donald, the pal is a wonderful thing.

Speaker 80 Happy birthday, and may every day be another wonderful secret.

Speaker 80 What did I tell you?

Speaker 26 Every day is another wonderful secret. I fucking threw up in my own mouth on that one.

Speaker 11 I don't even know what any of this means, but I do know that every line in that card sounds like the password you have to use to get into the orgy and eyes wide shut.

Speaker 16 Donald, we have certain things in common.

Speaker 33 Jeffrey, enigmas never age.

Speaker 11 All right, gentlemen, come on in and grab a mask.

Speaker 11 I gotta say,

Speaker 35 for that birthday card, how much must it have sucked to be the next guy in the office that had to sign that Epstein birthday card?

Speaker 31 You want me to just

Speaker 41 sign it right by the bibicaire by the

Speaker 31 by the just the little titties. What do you want?

Speaker 26 I'm just going to write here's to 50 more.

Speaker 35 Now, MAGA World, as you know, is demanding the Epstein files, and yet somehow still has lined up behind Trump to diffuse this apparently specific file.

Speaker 33 Starting with the fact that Trump couldn't have written that birthday card, he doesn't know all the words that were in it.

Speaker 27 Somebody did an AI search, and out of decades and decades and decades of being a public figure and now a political figure, Donald Trump has never used the word enigma.

Speaker 37 I imagine he's used words that are close.

Speaker 37 Well,

Speaker 37 if

Speaker 22 Well, if AI cannot find reference to the word enigma in all of Donald Trump's communiques over the Roll 212, I'm first, Carson's second.

Speaker 81 Now, Carson's an enigma to me. Carson's an enigma.

Speaker 81 He knows the word.

Speaker 26 And Trump has accurately used it in a sentence, Extra credit

Speaker 26 is there any other exculpatory evidence?

Speaker 50 The Wall Street Journal. They got the following on-the-record quote from Trump that said, in part, I never wrote a picture in my life.

Speaker 70 He then doubled down on his social media platform, posting, I don't draw pictures.

Speaker 11 Yes!

Speaker 17 Donald Trump neither writes pictures

Speaker 11 nor draws pictures,

Speaker 26 which as the experts will tell you

Speaker 26 are the two leading causes of pictures.

Speaker 31 Obviously that's not something you can probably search in AI.

Speaker 26 The only way you could disprove

Speaker 38 is with literal evidence of Donald's doodles.

Speaker 15 Trump in 2008, in his book, recalled donating an autographed doodle every year to charity.

Speaker 50 Here is a drawing of the New York City skyline, signed by Donald Trump in golden ink.

Speaker 26 What building in New York City has pubic hair? I'm sorry,

Speaker 38 pubic hair. Pubic hair!

Speaker 38 Pubic hair.

Speaker 41 I guess this makes Donald Trump just another world leader we wish had just stuck with art.

Speaker 41 I have, well, no, no, no.

Speaker 41 Tell your friends.

Speaker 11 Look.

Speaker 11 I do have to say, it is a little troubling to me that Team Trump's talking points are, he doesn't even know that word, or he can't draw,

Speaker 26 and not, why would anyone think he would write a creepy letter to a pedophile?

Speaker 26 I guess that's because Trump bragged about busting into the dressing rooms at Miss Universe contests, and was accused of busting into the dressing room at Miss Teen USA pageants, and told a couple of 14-year-olds he'd be dating them in two years.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 26 And then there's this.

Speaker 69 Do you think you could now be banging 24-year-olds? Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 69 Would you do it? I have no problem. Yeah, do you have an age limit or would you?

Speaker 69 No, no, I have no age. I mean, I have an age limit.
I don't want to be like

Speaker 69 bully with, you know, 12-year-olds.

Speaker 69 I'm not a cream.

Speaker 41 I just want to make it clear.

Speaker 23 That is what he's admitting to when he knows he's being recorded.

Speaker 26 Literally, you're sitting in a studio with a giant sign that says on air.

Speaker 38 And you're like, I mean, 12 would be just too much.

Speaker 43 I mean, come on.

Speaker 82 I mean, maybe it's a lot easier to argue over doodles and vocabulary than to have to

Speaker 38 confront whether a letter like this lines up with Donald Trump's character.

Speaker 10 They don't want people asking if the person who'd send a doodle to Jeffrey Epstein was also the type of person that would have said this in a deposition.

Speaker 78 When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.
Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.
That's what you said, Correct.

Speaker 1 Well, historically, that's true with stars.

Speaker 78 It's true with stars that they can grab women by the pussy?

Speaker 55 Well, that's what it's, if you look over the last million years, I guess that's been largely true. Not always, but largely true.

Speaker 55 Unfortunately or fortunately.

Speaker 26 Guy, such an enigma.

Speaker 26 Again,

Speaker 26 I just want to point out here.

Speaker 26 I just want to point out here,

Speaker 26 under oath,

Speaker 26 fortunately or unfortunately, under oath, he doesn't take a position on whether the coerced pussy grabbing is fortunate or unfortunate.

Speaker 31 None of this looks good.

Speaker 33 And as the temperature rises on the unanswered questions about Donald Trump's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, the Trump administration was forced to respond.

Speaker 25 Breaking news, moments ago, the director of national intelligence, Tel Cabbard, releasing the 230,000 files.

Speaker 17 Oh my god, that's from this afternoon.

Speaker 11 It worked.

Speaker 34 The incessant public pressure, mainly from, I'll give credit, the MAGA base, has finally forced Trump's hand.

Speaker 35 Let's hear what's in those files.

Speaker 25 230,000 files related to the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr.

Speaker 29 Epstein killed Martin Luther King Jr.?

Speaker 29 What the fuck?

Speaker 29 Why are you releasing that?

Speaker 29 What?

Speaker 26 All right, obviously those are different files.

Speaker 34 Anything else?

Speaker 70 This happened today.

Speaker 71 A.G.

Speaker 64 Bondi released files.

Speaker 64 Yes.

Speaker 33 This is all happening today.

Speaker 38 What's in those files?

Speaker 71 Related to the FBI's handling of the investigation into Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server. server.

Speaker 31 Oh, good.

Speaker 37 Finally, we'll get to know the truth about Hillary's private email island.

Speaker 37 As the Epstein missile heads towards the fuselage, look at Trump firing off countermeasures from Air Force One, like Rooster and Maverick and top guns.

Speaker 37 Maverick, sir, we got a bogey at five o'clock. Hillary Clinton's emails, kag.

Speaker 37 They're still closing, sir. Kagush, Martin Luther King's files.
Cagoosh cagooge.

Speaker 37 Oh, oh, we're, sir, we're out of files.

Speaker 26 Surely it's curtains. Wait.

Speaker 34 I've still got one more trick up me sleeve.

Speaker 26 Boys,

Speaker 18 it's been an honor serving with you.

Speaker 11 Here we go.

Speaker 13 Trump threatens to restrict the stadium deal with the Washington commanders if they don't change their name back to the Redskins.

Speaker 11 Are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 31 You know, they always say liberals are condescending to MAGA.

Speaker 38 I cannot think of anything more condescending than the way Trump treats MAGA.

Speaker 26 Oh, you want to know more about how the super rich are trafficking underage girls with impunity?

Speaker 11 Uh, hmm.

Speaker 49 Uh,

Speaker 35 would you still want to know if I let you use an outdated slur for Native Americans?

Speaker 26 I guess in Trump's mind, he doesn't have to keep his promises to MAGA as long as he continues to attack the people that MAGA hates.

Speaker 37 That's his get-out-of-jail free card.

Speaker 26 Trump believes he has immunity as long as he remains a petty tyrant, demanding only liberal institutions surrender to his whims.

Speaker 79 Right now, Donald Trump is desperate to move on from the Epstein files, but the story is only building.

Speaker 83 A major development just in, the Department of Justice says it is trying to set up a meeting with longtime Jeffrey Epstein associate Ghelane Maxwell, who's in prison.

Speaker 84 The Justice Department now putting out a new statement and saying if Ghelane Maxwell has information about anyone who has committed crimes against victims, the FBI and the DOJ will hear what she has to say.

Speaker 52 Wait.

Speaker 11 You haven't talked to Ghelane Maxwell?

Speaker 19 Epstein's accomplice?

Speaker 74 The woman he's in the most pictures with?

Speaker 79 Wouldn't she be your first witness? Also, also, stick with me here. How funny would it be if the FBI gets there and she's like, I'm finally ready to talk.

Speaker 74 I'm finally ready to tell you everything.

Speaker 79 But then at the last second, she grabs one of the agents' guns and takes herself out.

Speaker 79 The FBI would have to come out like,

Speaker 11 okay.

Speaker 11 okay,

Speaker 79 I know how this looks.

Speaker 79 But I swear, I swear, here's how much I want you to believe me.

Speaker 54 We did do the first one, okay?

Speaker 15 We did run up on Epstein and like held him down, shook him a little bit.

Speaker 11 We didn't do this one.

Speaker 79 But while we wait to see if Ghelane survives this interview, Trump

Speaker 79 Trump has been doing everything that he can to keep those files under wraps. He's even got his friends in Congress trying to help.

Speaker 79 Mike Johnson shut down the House just to avoid a vote on the release of the files.

Speaker 79 Yeah.

Speaker 79 Do you understand that they clear Congress out for the summer like they found a dookie in the pool?

Speaker 79 Over the last week, Trump has been throwing every distraction he can at us. And I want to go through some of them to show you how desperate he's getting.
Let's start with his go-to distraction:

Speaker 17 Obama!

Speaker 39 The witch hunt that you should be talking about is they caught President Obama absolutely cold. They tried to steal the election, they tried to obfuscate the election.

Speaker 45 Irrefutable proof that Obama was sedacious.

Speaker 79 No, booze aside.

Speaker 54 Sedacious?

Speaker 79 It feels like he's mispronouncing a new black friend's name.

Speaker 79 I want you to meet my friend, Sedacious.

Speaker 24 Thanks.

Speaker 82 It's Sean.

Speaker 79 The problem with this distraction is that it's so old, Jeffrey Epstein wouldn't date it.

Speaker 11 All right?

Speaker 79 Donald Trump is promising to lower drug prices for America. That's the news for the day.

Speaker 52 And I'm sure no one is going to talk about anything else.

Speaker 80 Brand new bombshell reporting from the Wall Street Journal.

Speaker 8 The Wall Street Journal reporting that U.S.

Speaker 19 Attorney General Pam Bondi told President Trump back in May that his his name appears multiple times in the Epstein files.

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 74 Your best friends.

Speaker 79 You're best friends with a pedophile for 10 years, one time, and the world never forgets it.

Speaker 79 But yeah, this whole time, Trump already knew he was in the Epstein files, which is a good reminder that if someone's acting guilty, they're probably guilty.

Speaker 79 No one's ever going to be like, don't look at my browser history. You'll see all the charities I volunteer for.

Speaker 79 But the good news for Trump is this is America.

Speaker 11 We don't read.

Speaker 79 As long as there's no video coming out, he should be A-okay.

Speaker 84 Epstein and exclusive newly uncovered photos and video offers a new look at President Trump's past ties to Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 70 Here you see the two, the opening of the Harley-Davidson Cafe months later. Some new photos reveal Epstein walking into the Plaza Hotel to attend Donald Trump's wedding to Marla Maples.

Speaker 70 There's also what was found in this review of archival footage from a 1999 Victoria Secret fashion show, which reveals, as you see, the two men chatting, laughing with one another on the sidelines of that event.

Speaker 79 It's getting to the point where it's harder and harder to find a photo of Donald Trump without Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 79 As Donald Trump, your only hope is to be like, hey, I take pictures with lots of people, all right?

Speaker 11 I'm in pictures with OJ, Diddy.

Speaker 74 I'm in pictures with Harvey Weinstein.

Speaker 74 That's not helping. I'm gonna stop.

Speaker 79 And they're not just in the video. Look at the chemistry they have.

Speaker 79 And this is genuinely unfortunate and unfair to Trump, but the way the camera highlighted the two of them makes it look like a giant heart on a kiss cam.

Speaker 79 What makes me feel terrible is I don't have a friend that I'm as close with as Trump was to Epstein, you know?

Speaker 74 They're making drawings for each other, laughing, showing up to weddings, going to shows together.

Speaker 79 The only way my friends hang out with me that much is if we're both holding Xbox controllers.

Speaker 79 The point is, CNN found all this new footage and Trump didn't really appreciate it.

Speaker 13 You actually called President Trump directly to ask him about this story?

Speaker 16 Yeah, we weren't on the phone very long.

Speaker 61 It only lasted about 30 seconds, but when I got on the phone, I asked him about the wedding photos. He kind of paused and then said, you've got to be kidding me.

Speaker 61 He then called CNN and me fake news a few times, and then he hung up the phone.

Speaker 11 Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. You can just call Donald Trump

Speaker 74 and he'll just pick up the phone himself?

Speaker 54 A president shouldn't be that available, you know?

Speaker 79 This is like pushing the call button for the flight attendant and then the pilot comes out.

Speaker 79 It's like,

Speaker 74 aren't you supposed to be busy? Like,

Speaker 11 if you're here, then who's in the cockpit?

Speaker 79 I think this just shows how lonely Trump is. He's answering the phone because he just wants someone to talk to.

Speaker 54 It's kind of sad.

Speaker 19 Because remember, his best friend died in prison back in 2019.

Speaker 79 Jeffrey Epstein died back in 2019, but not since Tupac Shakur has a dead man dropped so many bangers.

Speaker 79 Yesterday, video of the government questioning him back in 2010 started making the rounds, and you'll never guess whose name came up.

Speaker 38 Go ahead, guess.

Speaker 21 Have you ever socialized with Donald Trump in the presence of

Speaker 21 females under the age of 18?

Speaker 55 Though I'd like to answer that question, at least today, I'm going to have to assert my fifth, sixth, and fourteenth Amendment rights, sir.

Speaker 74 I'm going to put that down.

Speaker 79 I'm going to put that down as a yes.

Speaker 83 I'll be honest, I've never heard anybody plead anything other than the fifth before.

Speaker 79 But this guy is so guilty. He's calling out every amendment he can think of.
Like, no, no, no, what's the one with the women voting?

Speaker 74 19, throw that in too.

Speaker 79 Now, this video is dropping less than a day since we found out Pam Bondi reportedly warned Trump back in May that his name was in the files multiple times.

Speaker 79 And it just so happens her next appearance was scheduled last night at a summit against human trafficking. Pam, show us what you got.

Speaker 12 I do have a note from the Attorney General, from Attorney General Pam Bondi that I wanted to share. I'm sorry to miss all of my CPAC friends today.

Speaker 12 Unfortunately, I am recovering from a recently torn cornea, which is preventing me from being with you.

Speaker 52 Damn.

Speaker 79 Even Pam Bondi's cornea is like, release the Epstein files or I quit.

Speaker 79 I don't even understand this.

Speaker 33 Like,

Speaker 52 why does her cornea mean she can't talk?

Speaker 79 Like, I don't know a lot about women's bodies, and this is embarrassing to ask, but is the cornea in the throat?

Speaker 79 Like, the only member of the Trump administration that I would believe has an eye injury is FBI Director Cash Patel.

Speaker 79 I can't tell if that man is blind or can see the future.

Speaker 19 He always looks like he just saw the Epstein files.

Speaker 79 Trump has lost total control of the situation. Even his allies in Congress are turning on him.

Speaker 86 In an effort to gain clarity, three Republicans joined Democrats on the House Oversight Committee to subpoena the Justice Department to give Congress all of the Epstein files.

Speaker 87 This fight's coming no matter, I mean, this is here. You know, I'm ready to take this vote.
I think we should take this vote and move forward, move this country forward. People deserve transparency.

Speaker 52 Nancy Mace, damn.

Speaker 74 Trump is even losing the white women.

Speaker 79 Which is great because it means we're getting the white women and we're getting those files. All right.
This feels like when you're at the airport and Southwest has delayed you for 23 hours.

Speaker 79 You're standing in line at customer service and there's a white woman in line in front of you, bubbling harder than Prosecco.

Speaker 52 She's even doing the like,

Speaker 79 and then she turns to you and says, I'm going to say something.

Speaker 52 And you're like, yes, yes,

Speaker 36 yes, white lady.

Speaker 41 Go up there and get that manager

Speaker 41 for all of us.

Speaker 41 All right?

Speaker 79 And it's not just Nancy Mace. This is an issue across the entire Karen-American community.

Speaker 79 Marjorie Taylor Greene wants the files. Lauren Boebert wants a special counsel.
She's like, I came to Washington to expose pedophiles and jack people off.

Speaker 54 And I'm fresh out of people to jack off.

Speaker 79 Now, it may be surprising that some of the most die-hard congressmen are going against Trump on this, but you have to remember that they ultimately just want to be re-elected.

Speaker 79 And right now, their voters are absolutely losing it over this Epstein thing.

Speaker 25 How much are your constituents clamoring for more information about Epstein right now?

Speaker 58 It's the number one phone phone call that we get by far.

Speaker 43 It's probably 500 to 1.

Speaker 8 500 to 1.

Speaker 58 Yeah, it's number one phone calls that we get.

Speaker 79 I'm sorry, 500 to 1?

Speaker 79 I want to know about the Epstein files, but that is wild. That means people are calling in 500 times about Jeffrey Epstein for every one caller who's just like, hey,

Speaker 79 my tap water poison.

Speaker 79 And I can understand it if everything else in your state is going fine, but this congressman's from Missouri, okay?

Speaker 79 They have real problems, but they're using all their boost mobile minutes on this thing.

Speaker 19 I'll talk to my kids next month.

Speaker 79 This Epstein thing is too important.

Speaker 79 And worst of all for Trump, it's not just his allies in Congress or conservative Americans. He's pissed off his most important base of support.

Speaker 82 Crazy ass lunatics.

Speaker 88 Jacob Chansley, the QAnon shaman who became famous for his horned outfit during the January 6th Capitol riot is lashing out at the man who gave him a pardon.

Speaker 6 Chansley called the president a fraud.

Speaker 6 Like,

Speaker 79 wow, do you know how down bad you are when the guys who went to prison for you are turning on you? Like, I need to stress this real quick. He went to jail for Trump.

Speaker 79 This would be like if Nelson Mandela came out of prison like, you know what?

Speaker 79 I'm done with black people.

Speaker 79 These guys believe in everything but you.

Speaker 52 Take a look.

Speaker 88 He also suggested that the president had defiled a corpse. Billionaire Elon Musk wasn't spared either, with Chansley describing the world's richest man as a baby eater.

Speaker 79 This is so, so bad. That's the thing about QAnon.
Like, if Kendrick Lamar wanted to ruin your life, at least he'd do a bunch of research on you and your family.

Speaker 79 QAnon just comes out and says you're eating spines.

Speaker 79 And there's no way for you to prove you don't eat spines. In fact, every time you've got some between your teeth, they're like, see, see, he he's flossing babies.

Speaker 31 As you know, this young man has been embroiled in the Jeffrey Empestin sex trafficking scandal and did what anybody who is innocent

Speaker 33 when facing an accusation of this type.

Speaker 42 He did what anybody who was innocent would do.

Speaker 33 He fled the country.

Speaker 35 He fled the country taking a jaunt to bunny old Scotland.

Speaker 32 That's probably not the right accent.

Speaker 35 To leave his troubles in the United States behind and finally gain

Speaker 33 an ocean's distance between himself and the Epstein scandal and focus on his new trade deal with the EU.

Speaker 33 I'm sorry, yes, you there, from the Inverness Castle Times.

Speaker 6 Mr. President, it's part of the rush to get this deal done, so not the Jeffrey Epstein story out.

Speaker 56 Oh, you got to be kidding me.

Speaker 26 Donald Trump, he's all like, how did you even hear about

Speaker 26 I thought I thought you guys just got Baywatch like three months ago.

Speaker 37 Doesn't anybody here have a question about this trade deal sinking both of our economies with tariffs?

Speaker 41 How high do I have to make the tariffs before you guys shut the f ⁇ up about Epstein?

Speaker 29 But of course, how do you expect the media to move on when even Trump has trouble doing so?

Speaker 35 And so it was, on the day of striking a trade deal with the EU, Donald Trump presented once more, this time for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, his classic Epstein defense, 13 Reasons Why I'm Not involved with the pedophile.

Speaker 39 Those files were run by the worst scum on earth. If they had something, they would have released.
Now, they can easily put something in the files that's a phony,

Speaker 11 which is why I can't release it. It's simple.

Speaker 34 If I, Donald Trump, was in the files, they would have released it.

Speaker 22 So clearly, I'm not in the files, but of course, I'm clearly in the files.

Speaker 32 Which makes them phony.

Speaker 18 I mean, what do they even have on Trump?

Speaker 33 A creepy drawing Trump gave to Epstein?

Speaker 41 Please.

Speaker 39 I don't do drawings. I'm not a drawing person.

Speaker 40 Your Honor, I submit to the court. If there is one thing I would never do, it is

Speaker 11 draw.

Speaker 26 As you know, I suffer from tiny hands.

Speaker 11 I cannot physically even perform the task of drawing.

Speaker 36 I do not possess the motor skills and muscle strength required.

Speaker 26 Oh.

Speaker 40 I cannot draw, not now,

Speaker 40 not ever.

Speaker 11 Although...

Speaker 39 Sometimes people say, would you draw a building? And I'll draw four lines and a little roof, you know, for charity stuff.

Speaker 39 But I'm not a drawing person.

Speaker 11 I don't do drawings of women that I can tell you I mean sometimes people would say would you draw a woman and I'd draw a parentheses for press and a triangle for bush for charity

Speaker 11 for charity

Speaker 11 I wouldn't call them drawings more of a cubist pastiche

Speaker 52 of punctuation and geometric shapes to trick the eye.

Speaker 33 Some would see a naked woman, of course, others would see an old woman holding a falcon, riding a hoverboard

Speaker 35 with a triangle for a vagina. Look, the coin is this.

Speaker 11 I don't draw.

Speaker 33 In Trump's defense, he did end his relationship with Epstein

Speaker 11 in the alts.

Speaker 43 Perhaps a look into why he ended it will exonerate Trump.

Speaker 56 That's such old history.

Speaker 39 Very easy to explain, but I don't don't want to waste your time by explaining it. He did something that was inappropriate.

Speaker 33 What he said was: Epstein had done something inappropriate, and that's why they're no longer friends. You see, Donald Trump recognized that Epstein had finally crossed a line.

Speaker 33 Now, if it were me, obviously, giving this explanation in front of reporters, I probably would have stopped there.

Speaker 33 But

Speaker 36 since I am not,

Speaker 33 and I had Trump went on to describe Epstein's inappropriate behavior, and wait till you hear what was the Rubicon that Epstein crossed.

Speaker 56 He hired help,

Speaker 39 and I said, Don't ever do that again. He sold people that work for me.

Speaker 39 I said, Don't ever do that again. He did it again, and I threw him out of the place.

Speaker 39 Persona non grata.

Speaker 11 Yes.

Speaker 37 You all know him as Jeffrey Epstein, the sex trafficker.

Speaker 10 But I knew his dark side.

Speaker 10 He was.

Speaker 26 I mean, the sex trafficking, I was like, okay.

Speaker 36 But he was also a low-level employee poacher.

Speaker 31 poacher.

Speaker 31 And that

Speaker 31 I cannot have.

Speaker 31 Anyway, Mr. President, do you want to slice this bologna any thinner?

Speaker 39 By the way, I never went to the island, and Bill Clinton went there supposedly

Speaker 39 28 times.

Speaker 34 You expect me to believe that Bill Clinton went to the island only 28 times?

Speaker 34 No way.

Speaker 41 I mean, if anybody had VIP Diamond Island status,

Speaker 45 there's probably still parrots alive on that island going, hey, Bill, back again. Hey, Bill.

Speaker 45 Hey, Bill.

Speaker 45 How you doing, Bill? What's up, Bill?

Speaker 45 But here we go.

Speaker 45 Yeah, all right, that's okay. It's okay.
I'm okay.

Speaker 33 That is truly the best parrot impression you'll hear.

Speaker 43 Here comes my favorite part of the defense.

Speaker 23 Trump's ego and narcissism are so central to his being that even his denial of going to the island comes with a caveat.

Speaker 39 I never had the privilege of going to his island, and I did turn it down.

Speaker 39 The privilege?

Speaker 39 The family is a family. Hey, Donald, want to go to the island this weekend?

Speaker 49 Well,

Speaker 38 first of all, Jeffrey,

Speaker 23 thank you for thinking of me.

Speaker 43 Unfortunately, that's the weekend that the teen pageant that I bought

Speaker 36 is installing the indoor security locker room caverns.

Speaker 23 Obviously, for the Epstein case, Trump has no shortage of caddies willing to shame themselves.

Speaker 29 Here's Congressman Tim Burchett, pre-Trump being named in the files.

Speaker 25 Congressman, why do you think so many Democrats are committed to protecting the list of a dead pedophile?

Speaker 89 Too many of my colleagues, I'm afraid, are compromised in this area for whatever reason. The trash can is very deep.

Speaker 12 It's not a swamp.

Speaker 89 It's an open sewer.

Speaker 26 It's a sewer.

Speaker 11 Democrats are all over the plane logs.

Speaker 35 It's an open sewer.

Speaker 35 I'm sorry, Trump was also on Epstein's plane.

Speaker 52 Need a ball drop over here?

Speaker 76 You know, President Trump admitted that he flew on his dead gum plane. Just because somebody flew on a plane doesn't mean they're a dead gum pedophile.

Speaker 11 Wow. You you know what?

Speaker 10 I always find that the worse it is, the folksier they get.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 40 well,

Speaker 11 Mr.

Speaker 6 Trump, he's not a dad gum, gosh darn

Speaker 32 dagnabbid pedophile.

Speaker 11 I mean, just my grits.

Speaker 17 I don't.

Speaker 41 I'll guarantee you, he's not using that terminology in other sex offender cases.

Speaker 29 Well, gosh darn, if Diddy ain't two biscuits short of a country biscuit.

Speaker 37 He's He's two biscuits short of a country biscuit, but that don't make everyone at the freak off crack a barreless.

Speaker 34 I honestly think my favorite thing about this is watching conspiracy theorists have to unravel the red string that they themselves originally strung out.

Speaker 26 Here's the OG conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck at his excitement for Trump's beginning of the second term.

Speaker 21 The only thing I care about is the scandal of the pedophiles. And in the next 10 days, you're you're gonna see the Epstein file released.
Day number one: Cash Patel walks in.

Speaker 21 By the end of the day, it will be released.

Speaker 11 Day one!

Speaker 18 Deep state exposed.

Speaker 33 Oh, I'm sorry, Trump's in the rough.

Speaker 43 I'll get right on that ball drop.

Speaker 24 What the left is saying, and some people now on his team are saying, he's in the report.

Speaker 11 With 15-year-olds, really?

Speaker 21 Do you actually believe that?

Speaker 33 I have seen some clips that would be consistent with

Speaker 23 did buy a teenage beauty pageant.

Speaker 33 But listen, Beck, you're the master at making connections, so let's see you unconnected.

Speaker 24 I mean, let's be honest, 20 years ago, if this was like, hey, he was on an island with 25-year-old models,

Speaker 24 I would be going, probably.

Speaker 24 15, year olds, that's not Donald Trump. It's not Donald Trump.

Speaker 28 I don't believe that.

Speaker 24 Do you?

Speaker 1 I say that's no way that's true.

Speaker 1 You can't, what? No!

Speaker 1 You're not, there's no magic X.

Speaker 26 You can't just magic X conspiracy theory,

Speaker 29 white people being replaced by voting illegal immigrants. No!

Speaker 49 The ex has spoken.

Speaker 26 But of course Trump's caddies can't do everything and it's given Democrats hope that they finally have Donald Trump.

Speaker 29 For so long

Speaker 33 the Democrats have been wily coyote

Speaker 16 to Donald Trump's roadrunner.

Speaker 31 The Democrats thought they had Trump with the felony convictions.

Speaker 26 They thought they had Trump with the access Hollywood tape.

Speaker 38 But every time he got away.

Speaker 26 But now, with the reporting on the Epstein files, the only way that this guy wiggles out of this one is if, for some reason, convicted sex trafficker Ghelane Maxwell swears under oath that Trump had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 23 But why would she do that?

Speaker 33 Coyote, you finally got the roadrunner.

Speaker 45 Mr. President, if I didn't completely rule out a pardon for Ghelane Maxwell who landed, is that something you would ever consider and why?

Speaker 6 Pardon for who?

Speaker 13 For Ghelane Maxwell.

Speaker 15 Well, I'm allowed to give her a pardon.

Speaker 15 Me, meep.

Speaker 62 Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 62 Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Speaker 62 This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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Speaker 91 Vivimos para yo dorten contradun lugar en la playa con alberca, cascada, tina, y una regader encrible.

Speaker 91 Expivia, vivimos para viajar. the money.