TDS Time Machine | Video Games

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Speaker 11 You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 11 Last week, Congress found a topic everybody everybody in any party could grandstand about.

Speaker 13 In a generation of kids being desensitized to aberrant sexual behavior.

Speaker 14 Children who then are involved in an interactive way with video games have an increased tendency to act aggressively. As a father of three young boys, 11, 8, and 6,

Speaker 14 who are avid gamers, I'm very concerned about the content included in the games.

Speaker 11 And as I stand there watching them play these violent games,

Speaker 11 helpless to do anything about it,

Speaker 11 I can't help but wonder

Speaker 11 where the system has failed.

Speaker 11 Yes, violent video games were the latest target of Washington's election year ire.

Speaker 16 Hearings were held to

Speaker 11 what exactly.

Speaker 18 I want to learn more about how these games are rated, how they are marketed and to whom, who's making profit from them, what retailers have to say about selling to underage children without parental approval, and what they're going to do about it.

Speaker 11 Said the first witness,

Speaker 11 I pleaded the fids.

Speaker 11 You know what I was doing there in my head, can I tell you?

Speaker 11 I was already working on my Italian accent. And so when I saw English,

Speaker 11 in the prompter there, it threw me completely off.

Speaker 11 You know, because I was in another language. I was was already translating, rendering in real time, if you will.

Speaker 11 I have something to tell you people.

Speaker 11 I can't read.

Speaker 11 The whole show is done phonetically and by ear.

Speaker 11 Anyway, at issue is the video game industry's rating system.

Speaker 11 Many feel the M for mature rating is too vague in describing content, not to mention completely inaccurate to describe anyone who plays video games.

Speaker 11 They proposed a three-tiered system that would start with D for dropout,

Speaker 11 W for wasteoid and max out it, CMB, child and man's body.

Speaker 11 That would be me.

Speaker 11 Just want to make it clear, I play these a lot. All right.

Speaker 11 But enough preliminaries. Let's get right to it.
Who wants to be the first person to sound like an out-of-touch jackass? Oh, you, Congressman Upton.

Speaker 14 I'm a gamer myself. I was an expert in Pong.
That was a game.

Speaker 11 Also, a big fan of, I believe it was Donkey Kong.

Speaker 19 I enjoyed Missile Command.

Speaker 11 Lately, I've been playing a lot of Grand Turismo.

Speaker 11 All right, who's next?

Speaker 21 I'll have to confess, Mr. Chairman, that I am also a video game player.
I have worked my way up to Civilization 4.

Speaker 21 I haven't yet been able to beat it, but I have at least

Speaker 21 understand the fundamentals of it.

Speaker 11 Of course, Congressman Barton's favorite game, Whippersnappers 2, Get Off My Lawn.

Speaker 11 But it was, as always, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas that emerged as the committee's favorite whipping boy.

Speaker 11 To illustrate the video game's violence, the chairman provided a brief multimedia presentation.

Speaker 14 I thought we'd give, before your opening statement start,

Speaker 14 a sort of an overview of what we're talking about.

Speaker 11 I think one of those wasn't a game.

Speaker 11 After a full day's worth of powerful testimony on this vital issue, Congressman Joe Pitts admitted that not every child was at risk.

Speaker 15 It's safe to say that a wealthy kid from the suburbs can play Grand Theft Auto or similar games without turning to a life of crime, but a poor kid who lives in a neighborhood where people really do steal cars or deal drugs or shoot cops might not be so fortunate.

Speaker 11 Wealthy suburban kids don't do that kind of thing. Like my good friends, those fine Columbine boys.
They were just.

Speaker 15 There's almost certainly a child somewhere in America who is going to be hurt by this game. Maybe his dad's in jail or his big brother's already down on the corner dealing drugs.

Speaker 11 Maybe he buys a gun. He steals a car, tries to run, but he doesn't get far.

Speaker 11 In the get-to.

Speaker 2 In the get-up.

Speaker 16 For more on the...

Speaker 11 Seriously, the House of Representatives is filled with insane jackasses. For more on the Grand Theft Auto controversy, we go to Daily Show's senior PlayStationologist, Samantha B.
Samantha, Sam, Sam?

Speaker 23 Sorry, John, sorry. Thought I saw some money and some life power behind a dumpster.
Turns out it was just a body.

Speaker 23 Anyways, I'm here in San Andreas where people feel their way of life is being attacked by the morality police in Washington. There are good people here.

Speaker 23 Well, a good person.

Speaker 23 Actually, I think he may have been in that car that just exploded. But residents here want Washington to know they're angry and they vote.
or would if not for considerable felony convictions.

Speaker 11 Sam, so what are the people of of San Andreas going to do about this?

Speaker 23 Well the city council is planning to launch an official protest with Washington though whether that will take the form of spraying Capitol Hill with machine gun fire or just a good old-fashioned Molotov cocktailing remains to be seen.

Speaker 2 Sam, you've...

Speaker 11 You would agree though that Grand Theft Auto San Andreas isn't really appropriate for young children.

Speaker 23 No, on the contrary, John, our kids could learn a lot from this little town.

Speaker 23 It's a place where, with a little hard work, a little hand-eye coordination and the right cheat codes, anyone can work their way up from a burned-out moped to owning a tank.

Speaker 12 Sam,

Speaker 11 what about the concern that young children might copy the violence that they see in this game?

Speaker 23 Oh, come on, John. Nobody believes there's really a connection.
This issue has been resolved in studies. Politicians are just beating a dead hooker here.

Speaker 11 Sam, what about the rating system for video games? Do you think that the current standards could be Sam? Is everything okay over there?

Speaker 26 Oh, is it?

Speaker 23 It's just another hump day, John. People blowing off a little steam.
Anyway, the important thing is that parents' groups, legislators, and video game manufacturers, hey, hey, hey, motherfucker!

Speaker 23 Get your motherfucking hands off my motherfucking cup. What? What? What?

Speaker 23 It's okay. I'll blow them up later.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 11 Well, thank you very much, Samantha.

Speaker 16 Samantha B, we'll be right back.

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Speaker 11 Many of you know, many of you follow the court, the Supreme Court's term ended this week with a raft of new rulings. One ruling in particular caught my eye.

Speaker 27 The court struck down a law passed by the California legislature in 2005 and signed into law by then Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger that made it a crime to sell or rent video games depicting violence to anyone under 18.

Speaker 11 Oh, wow, that's got to be a huge disappointment for Schwarzenegger, a man who fought so hard for so long to protect kids from images of gratuitous violence.

Speaker 11 It's all right. The state has no place keeping kids from buying violent video games.

Speaker 2 Big deal.

Speaker 11 You know what? I agree with that. I used to play video games, Space Invaders, Doom.
How bad could the games really be?

Speaker 28 And they'd go, oh my God!

Speaker 28 Oh, oh,

Speaker 28 oh,

Speaker 28 oh,

Speaker 2 oh, my God, I think I'm going to be sick.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 oh,

Speaker 11 that

Speaker 11 get, oh, get some ice.

Speaker 11 Can the states place any restrictions on content sold to minors?

Speaker 29 Justice Scalia, in his opinion, said that government might be able to restrict sexual materials, but not violent and other materials. Oh.

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 11 So I guess that's good news for today's graphically violent video games. Bad news for older sexy gaming classics like Super Mario Boners.

Speaker 11 Nice job, Sam.

Speaker 11 Let's be clear what we're talking about here.

Speaker 28 Fair warning.

Speaker 11 This is really fair warning. You may find this next clip.
In fact, I'd be truly surprised if you don't. In all seriousness, shocking and offensive.
It's like an interactive animated snuff film.

Speaker 11 So, if you are sensitive to violent imagery, now might be a good time to go to another room and have filthy, disgusting, deviant sex.

Speaker 11 In this case, Brown v. Entertainment's Merchants Association, the U.S.
Supreme Court determined 7-2 that the state of California has no interest in restricting the sale of this game.

Speaker 11 No interest in restricting the sale of that game to children. But if while being disemboweled, this woman were to suffer perhaps a nip slip,

Speaker 31 regulate away.

Speaker 11 Personally, I don't know if video game violence affects children, but I am worried that the games are affecting judges that have to look at them, like in the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

Speaker 24 Justice Ann Walsh Bradley is accusing fellow Justice David Prosser of trying to choke her during a heated debate.

Speaker 33 Prosser denies it.

Speaker 34 What Justice Bradley says is that she asked Justice David Prosser to leave, that he

Speaker 34 put her neck in a chokehold.

Speaker 2 Uh-oh.

Speaker 11 Judges fighting each other. Sounds like a good case for my new show, Court Court.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 11 literally, a bench clearing brawl happening in the midst of

Speaker 11 an ideologically charged debate over collective bargaining rights. It's the biggest political fight in recent Wisconsin history.
But it's he said, she said. I mean, how do we ever know who's right?

Speaker 24 The altercation allegedly took place in front of their court colleagues.

Speaker 11 Oh my God, thank God.

Speaker 11 Eyewitnesses, and not just any eyewitnesses, the other Supreme Court justices, pillars of the Wisconsin legal establishment, the very people entrusted with the solemn judicial duty of weighing facts and determining justice.

Speaker 24 And they too are divided over exactly what happened.

Speaker 11 The other justices were there and they're still, let me guess, party lines. They're divided on party lines.

Speaker 11 These are people whose job is interpreting what a group of dead founders were thinking 200 and some years ago and they can't agree on what happened right in front of their f ⁇ ing eyes.

Speaker 11 I used to think your reality shaped your politics. It's clear now, your politics shapes reality.

Speaker 28 Let's welcome Paul McCartney.

Speaker 28 The audience folks, love it.

Speaker 11 Unfortunately, that's all the time we have for today.

Speaker 11 I'm going to go with Thunderous.

Speaker 2 That was a thunderous thing. That was Thunderous.
That was stunning. Thank you.
That was stunning.

Speaker 2 Now they're doing it again. Just keep doing it.
I love it. I love it.

Speaker 11 I understand why now musicians have the hearing problems because the thunderous ovations.

Speaker 2 This is right, yeah.

Speaker 11 Who else gets that?

Speaker 2 You know, I get that.

Speaker 16 So you walk out, people applaud. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Do you remember I've had a lot of jobs where I show up,

Speaker 17 no applause.

Speaker 2 Bartender? Sure.

Speaker 11 I waited tables, no applause. Never, oh, he's coming with the menus.

Speaker 2 Nothing. Nothing.
Well, that's why I went into music, John.

Speaker 11 I think it was a, you know, a wise choice. I hope it works out for you.

Speaker 11 I think a fallback plan is always...

Speaker 2 That's what my dad said to me. Did he really? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 11 Now, how much success did you have before family, friends thought, we're going to get off his back now, we're going to let him go? Like, where were you?

Speaker 11 Was it charting? Was it the Ed Sullivan? What was the moment where everyone went, okay, you're going to do that for a living? That's fine. That's fine, boy.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think it was just, yeah, the first record in the charts, probably, yeah. Right.

Speaker 11 Or was it a song for destiny for the video game? Was that

Speaker 11 where they said, it's okay, now he's made it?

Speaker 2 This only just happened, yeah, and they never believed it. But yeah, no, it's

Speaker 2 a song for destiny. Yeah, I'm not here to plug.
No.

Speaker 11 No. I'm not here to plug it either.

Speaker 2 It's just a casual mention of.

Speaker 11 This is you and I. We'd probably be talking anyway.

Speaker 2 About that, yeah.

Speaker 12 Or just hanging out, as we often do.

Speaker 2 We often do.

Speaker 11 Me outside your house, you in.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you know, I don't.

Speaker 11 How do they get you to do that? You know, there's a lot of things. I think to myself, geez, I'd love to have Paul McCartney do a song for this.
But you wouldn't.

Speaker 2 I might. It depends how you asked me.
Really?

Speaker 11 It's an interesting thing. Well, I guess these video games, people don't realize these are now billion-dollar industries.
These are franchises. These are bigger than major motion pictures.

Speaker 2 That's right. And that's what was pointed out to me by the people who asked me.

Speaker 2 Why don't you do this, Paul? It's bigger than anything.

Speaker 2 And no, the thing was, you know, I'd seen my grandkids mainly playing them. And I kind of would say, you know, give me a go, that, come on.

Speaker 2 I would get killed within the first couple of seconds.

Speaker 2 Hand it back to them, yeah, go on, okay.

Speaker 2 And so, you know, I was Mr. Cool.

Speaker 2 Come on, give it up. How crazy is that? The crazy mother.

Speaker 11 Because it is, I find myself doing that as well, that whatever my kids are interested in, I try and do a little something for because they don't care about this.

Speaker 2 They don't care. No.

Speaker 11 Do you know what my son said to me the other night?

Speaker 11 Why can't you do a show like Ellen?

Speaker 2 He could have something though, Joe.

Speaker 11 She said, do a show like Ellen. He goes, I watch your show.
I don't even understand it. I watch her show and I really enjoy it.

Speaker 2 And does she give out CDs and things and holidays?

Speaker 11 You're wishing you were on Ellen too.

Speaker 11 No, you are.

Speaker 2 No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
I'm really happy to be here.

Speaker 2 You really are. It's so not right.

Speaker 11 This is so good. If you do this for them, is there like a cheat code for the guy who wrote the song for the video game where you are impervious to damage?

Speaker 11 Can you, you know, do you play it now and they tell you how to win?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 11 So you still get blown up.

Speaker 6 Do you play them?

Speaker 2 Basically, no.

Speaker 2 I don't play them.

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 2 But the kids do. The kids do, yeah.
I've tried them, but I'm no good at them. Yeah.
I go in the first room. Yes, come on, yes,

Speaker 2 they're shooting at me. They're shooting at me, John.

Speaker 2 I get killed and hand the control back.

Speaker 11 It's really one of the big drawbacks in these games is that they are relentlessly trying to get it.

Speaker 2 They're shooting at you all. That's fine.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 11 I just, I find it fascinating.

Speaker 11 Like, for me, there's nothing I would rather be than a pop star, than a rock star. To me, it's such a magical way of expressing yourself.

Speaker 11 Comedy is so linear. It's language.
Everybody knows somebody who's funny. Not everybody.
Music is such a different language, such a beautiful, more abstract language.

Speaker 11 It's shocking to me to know that there's something that you're not that good at that you think to yourself, it'd be fun to be good at that.

Speaker 2 What's that?

Speaker 11 Are you going to the rock? Are you going to go when Ringo's goes to the office?

Speaker 2 I am, yeah, I definitely am.

Speaker 34 This is very exciting.

Speaker 2 I'm really excited about that, yeah.

Speaker 11 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's so now, and you're in, he's in, everybody's in.

Speaker 2 You know what?

Speaker 11 Maybe I'll go. It's in New York, is it not? Don't they do the ceremony in New York?

Speaker 2 Do they? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'll find out, though, before the night.

Speaker 2 They just point you in a direction.

Speaker 35 As far as you know, you were coming on Letterman.

Speaker 2 You don't even know where you are.

Speaker 36 I thought this was Alan.

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Speaker 40 Trade is not the only issue that Trump has been focused on recently.

Speaker 37 Since the school shooting in Florida, the president has also been trying to address gun violence.

Speaker 37 And while he has proposed a number of gun control measures, there are a few additional culprits that he has in his sights.

Speaker 26 The video games, the movies, the internet stuff is so violent. I have a young, very young son who I look at some of the things he's watching and

Speaker 26 I say, how is that possible? And this is what kids are watching. But these things are really violent.

Speaker 40 No, Trump talks about his kid like he's not his parents.

Speaker 36 He's like, look at the violence this kid is watching.

Speaker 35 Isn't someone going to stop him? I mean, you know what this kid needs in his life? He needs a John Kelly.

Speaker 20 That's what he needs in his life.

Speaker 41 But you're his dad, Donald. Isn't it your fault?

Speaker 35 No, this kid started playing games under Obama.

Speaker 37 I inherited a mess, folks.

Speaker 42 The point is, Trump is not a big fan of video games, partly because the controllers are too big, and also because he believes they inspire real-world violence.

Speaker 37 So this afternoon, he summoned the heads of the video game industry and their critics to a roundtable discussion. And for a change, Trump decided to be camera-shy.

Speaker 40 So there's no footage of this meeting.

Speaker 32 Although we here at the Daily Show were able to get exclusive audio of what went down.

Speaker 38 Okay, let's get started. Wait, wait, wait.
Why is it Mario here?

Speaker 43 Mario's not coming, sir. Video game characters don't exist.

Speaker 38 Okay, but then why is that Koopa trooper here?

Speaker 2 Mark Mitch McConnell.

Speaker 31 That's just what a Koopa would say. Let's jump on him.

Speaker 2 Ow, ow, ow, Mr. President.

Speaker 41 Ow, my neck.

Speaker 37 Now,

Speaker 37 Trump is hardly the first person to blame gun violence in part on video games.

Speaker 17 In fact, this has been an idea that's been around for decades now.

Speaker 44 This is the hand-held implement with which you play the game by shooting it at the screen instead of enriching a child's mind. These games teach a child to enjoy inflicting torture.

Speaker 45 Of course it affects our children, and it affects our kids in a very negative way.

Speaker 40 Yeah, you see, it turns out politicians have been warning about the dangers of violent video games way back when.

Speaker 17 I mean like this is back when games looked like this.

Speaker 35 You remember this? Yeah?

Speaker 41 To them this was hyper-realistic violence.

Speaker 40 I mean to me it looks like you're pointing a dildo at a Nazi dance crew.

Speaker 37 I don't see the violence.

Speaker 32 And here's what I don't get about this argument.

Speaker 37 How come video games are supposedly so influential, but only when it comes to guns?

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 37 Because I mean if they really were as influential as politicians say then shouldn't games influence us with everything?

Speaker 41 Like as kids, we spent every day playing paperboy, but that never inspired anyone to go out and commission mass paper deliveries.

Speaker 36 No, I was like, it's because of the games!

Speaker 2 Extra, extra, read all about it!

Speaker 17 And here's the thing, there have been hundreds of studies on this issue, and they have shown, they have shown that there isn't any connection between violent video games and violence activities.

Speaker 37 Now, that doesn't mean that video games have no influence on you, because let's be honest, everything we consume as human beings affects us somehow.

Speaker 17 Sex in the city might make you wanna go to brunch.

Speaker 40 Karate Kid might have made people join the local dojo.

Speaker 17 Hell, if it wasn't for Instagram, I would have never gotten my butt implants, okay?

Speaker 17 Yeah, I got it on the back, because I already had a real ass.

Speaker 46 I just wanted another one.

Speaker 32 It's like, because two asses, I mean, come on, why not?

Speaker 40 So yes, I agree that video games can affect your behavior.

Speaker 37 But so can TV and movies.

Speaker 17 And I mean, hell, there's even violence in the Bible. Motherfuckers are killing people with jawbones in there.

Speaker 35 Like you can't take violence out of the world.

Speaker 37 What you can do is limit the tools violent people have,

Speaker 40 which is exactly what they've done in Japan.

Speaker 47 The Japanese play many of the same violent video games that we do. In 2015, gaming revenue in Japan was over 12 billion dollars.
behind only the United States and China.

Speaker 47 Japan has some of the strictest gun laws in the world.

Speaker 19 In 2015, this nation of 127 million counted only one gun murder.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 17 Only one gun murder.

Speaker 40 That is impressive.

Speaker 37 And I'm sorry, but if you're the only gun death in a country of 120 million people, you probably deserve it.

Speaker 22 I'm just saying.

Speaker 22 I'm just saying.

Speaker 42 Look, man, the truth is, many countries around the world have figured this out.

Speaker 40 The most effective and realistic way to limit gun violence is to regulate who has access to guns.

Speaker 37 And while the president is talking about video games, interestingly enough, lawmakers in Florida have decided to take action.

Speaker 48 New state gun legislation is headed to the desk of Florida Governor Rick Scott this morning after last month's deadly school shooting in Parkland.

Speaker 31 The bill raises the minimum age for buying firearms to 21, imposes a three-day waiting period for gun purchases, bans bump stocks, and establishes new mental health programs in schools.

Speaker 37 I'm going to say a sentence that I'm assuming has never before been uttered on this show.

Speaker 17 Well done, Florida.

Speaker 17 Well done.

Speaker 41 I mean usually the news coming out of Florida is like man arrested for threesome with two rattlesnakes.

Speaker 46 So this is a step in the right direction.

Speaker 17 Now the bill does do one other thing that might not be as popular.

Speaker 49 The most controversial provision in this legislation is the Marshall program. That's a program that would allow teachers and other school personnel to be armed as long as they go through training.

Speaker 49 In this case, 144 hours of training.

Speaker 32 Yep, Florida teachers about to get strapped.

Speaker 50 Yeah, which means that kids are going to be a lot more engaged in class.

Speaker 41 They're going to be like, who wants to answer the next question?

Speaker 2 Wow, a lot of hands up.

Speaker 41 A lot of hands going up. Two hands.

Speaker 2 Look at you. Yeah.

Speaker 37 Here's what I find interesting about this law.

Speaker 32 Florida lawmakers have decided that the teachers, the people they trust with their kids, need to meet strict standards before they can carry a gun.

Speaker 37 144 hours of training and passing a psychological exam and random drug tests and additional training every year, which makes sense.

Speaker 17 But when it comes to anyone outside of a school, they go, yeah, just give that random dude a gun.

Speaker 46 I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

Speaker 42 I feel like you guys were so close to figuring this out.

Speaker 17 Just take that same law, cross out teachers, and write in everyone.

Speaker 42 Problem solves.

Speaker 36 Why doesn't everyone have to go through those same steps? It makes sense.

Speaker 37 So if you'll excuse me, I've been playing a ton of Angry Birds, so I've got to go outside and throw some pigeons at pigs.

Speaker 17 We'll be right back.

Speaker 51 Thanks, Trevor.

Speaker 20 The most popular video game right now is Fortnite. And why not? It's got everything people love.
hanging out with your friends, killing your friends, and dancing over your friends' dead bodies.

Speaker 20 But just like every other thing that's popular, people have started to blame it for all their problems.

Speaker 52 The popular video game Fortnite now has more than 200 million registered players worldwide. Problem is, experts say it's incredibly addicting.

Speaker 6 Behavioral health experts have seen an increase in young adults seeking treatment for their addiction to video games.

Speaker 6 In fact, earlier this year, the World Health Organization recognized gaming disorder as a diagnosable condition. A British behavioral specialist says Fortnite addiction is like heroin.

Speaker 20 Okay, Fortnite is not like drugs, okay? There's no rock star who died from video games. Elvis wasn't passed out on a toilet with his veins full of Pac-Man, right?

Speaker 20 No wonderful entertainment gets the bad rap that video games do. I mean, why does 20 straight hours of Fortnite mean you're addicted, but binging Marvelous Miss Meso means you're sophisticated?

Speaker 11 Oh.

Speaker 20 And so what if I sometimes sometimes miss work because I was up all night playing Fortnite? I just tell my idiot boss I lost my voice like he does all the time.

Speaker 20 All the time.

Speaker 20 You have one job.

Speaker 20 But fine, these so-called specialists say it's an addiction. And now the innocent kids are paying the price.

Speaker 54 Some parents are so worried their kids are spending so much time playing the popular game, they're taking a drastic step and sending their kids to video game rehab.

Speaker 22 Well, this year, the drug of choice, as we we call it is Fortnite.

Speaker 55 Michael Jacobis runs Reset Summer Camp, a four-week program that focuses on teen tech addiction.

Speaker 32 When kids are at your camp, is it like a detox?

Speaker 6 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 55 With no devices for a whole month, the camp focuses on therapy and teaching life skills like cooking and laundry.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 20 Cooking and laundry is not rehab.

Speaker 20 It's what makes you want to play video games in the first place. Okay, no kid has ever been like, hey, washing my filthy clothes is so much fun.
I'll never play video games again.

Speaker 20 If I wanted to cook and do laundry, I'd play The Sims, all right? And the blame keeps going because according to some, Fortnite isn't just damaging kids, it's ruining marriages.

Speaker 56 An online UK divorce service says 200 divorce petitions cited Fortnite this year. That was the reason for the split.
Put the controller down.

Speaker 2 Fortnite.

Speaker 20 Don't blame Fortnite for your shitty marriage, okay? You made your wife sit and watch you play Fortnite day after day until one day you look over and she's gone. Well, guess where she is now buddy?

Speaker 20 She's at my house watching me play Fortnite.

Speaker 20 Guys, Fortnite is harmless fun. In fact the only place I draw a line is using it to train real killers.

Speaker 58 You can serve your country and play Fortnite? Well the Stars in the Stripes newspaper says yes the Army is forming a team of pro gamers to compete in tournaments as a recruitment tool.

Speaker 6 The plan is actually to have recruiters playing those games in their uniforms at tournaments to provoke questions about their jobs from the players.

Speaker 20 This is a great idea idea until those dumb kids stop fighting and start dancing in the middle of the war, right?

Speaker 12 And just getting shot in the

Speaker 20 only way the army should use Fortnite is to drop it on ISIS. Then they'll stop playing it 20 hours a day and we'll have won the war on terror.
And that's when we really get to dance.

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Speaker 59 I'm Michael Costa.

Speaker 32 And before I started covering the news on cable TV, I was a successful professional athlete.

Speaker 2 What sport?

Speaker 33 Tennis.

Speaker 2 Duh.

Speaker 25 I was ranked 864 in the world, so I was a natural to investigate the newest sport sweeping the nation.

Speaker 59 Video games.

Speaker 52 Competitive video gaming, known as esports, is booming.

Speaker 25 There's even a training center with five training rooms and six locker rooms.

Speaker 11 The Olympics are considering adding esports.

Speaker 25 I went to California to a so-called training center in someone's garage to talk with these athletes about why video games isn't a sport.

Speaker 26 What the hell is this?

Speaker 53 This was the Alienware training facility for esports Team Liquid, complete with scrimmage stations, a war room, PR department, a team coach, and even an in-house chef.

Speaker 6 The team star, whose name is Taco, was acquired from Brazil's top team.

Speaker 22 This is a real sport.

Speaker 42 You call yourself an athlete?

Speaker 11 Yes, of course.

Speaker 60 We compete, we go to tournaments, we travel a lot, lot, we got some money.

Speaker 51 What does an e-sport athlete, Mr. Taco, do every day?

Speaker 60 Just practice.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I'm a former professional tennis player.

Speaker 51 That's what I would call a real sport. There is an opponent, and you would relish the opportunity to defeat them with your racket.
What do you actually have to show for what you're doing?

Speaker 60 Come on, I have a really strong finger. A finger? Yes, this finger will kill at least one million people.

Speaker 19 That finger's killed one million people.

Speaker 2 At least.

Speaker 25 Taco is referring to his kills in Counter-Strike, a game where guys shoot other guys before a bomb goes off, apparently.

Speaker 16 How is this a sport?

Speaker 61 I won the Ann Arbor Junior Open at 11 years old. How hard could it be to pound on these dorks? What are you staring at, huh? I'm gonna whoop your ass next.

Speaker 20 To the left, to the left. To the left?

Speaker 33 You think it's- Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 61 If I shot him four times, he shoots me once and I die. These games were clearly rigged against more muscular athletes.

Speaker 22 Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 3 How do I keep dying, Taco?

Speaker 25 But who's paying for these cucks to sit around all day and mash buttons?

Speaker 53 Apparently guys like three-time NBA champion Rick Fox, owner of esports franchise Echo Fox.

Speaker 59 What are you doing with these nerds, man? You're a real athlete.

Speaker 62 And so are they.

Speaker 29 What the shit are you talking about?

Speaker 35 Me and you, we played real sports.

Speaker 59 You know, you can see our balls in our pants when we played.

Speaker 3 Were you an athlete?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 59 Yeah, I played professional tennis. I was ranked 864 in the world.

Speaker 3 Okay, you win a couple tournaments?

Speaker 59 No, I didn't win the tournaments, but it...

Speaker 62 How much money did you make in your career?

Speaker 59 I made $11,000 about. But there's a whole system, and I was right in there playing as a pro-athlete.

Speaker 2 Okay. In our...

Speaker 62 Era, I think there was no shame around pursuing a career in professional sports because you could get a scholarship to college, which, by the way, you can get as an esport player now.

Speaker 62 There's a number of colleges that are building esports arenas on their campuses.

Speaker 59 This is all great. But let's get down to brass tacks here.
How much do these athletes make?

Speaker 62 Probably the best top laner in the world in one of our games. He makes probably $800,000.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 53 And while players like Taco made over $800K last year, other top gamers earned upwards of $4 million.

Speaker 25 And thanks to advertising and sponsorships, revenues will top $1.4 billion

Speaker 25 this year.

Speaker 2 $1.4 billion?

Speaker 41 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 61 But what really makes it legit is Vegas Sportsbooks take bets on it. So I did what anyone would do.
Sold my dog for $3,000 and put it all on Team Liquid at the Barclay Center.

Speaker 51 I'll buy him back after I win.

Speaker 6 Amsterdam, London, Cologne, Montreal.

Speaker 30 I don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 You're in Brooklyn now, baby.

Speaker 30 This is the Barclay Center. This is where champions play and the Brooklyn Nets.

Speaker 61 We're going to heal as a team or we're gonna die as individuals.

Speaker 30 Did I make myself clear?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I did. Come on!

Speaker 11 All right, ignore all that, and we just follow the game pun. Let's go, guys.

Speaker 61 It was time for Team Liquid to win in the semifinals and make me some money.

Speaker 2 Team Liquid!

Speaker 61 Let's go, baby. Let's go!

Speaker 30 It definitely felt like a real sport.

Speaker 61 These gaming gladiators were ready for battle.

Speaker 2 Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for Team Liquid versus Gambit. Click your mouse.

Speaker 30 They flexed their fingers. They clicked their buttons.

Speaker 61 They adjusted their headsets. Come on!

Speaker 28 Liquid! Aka! Liquid! Aca!

Speaker 2 Hey, let's start the wave! Starting over here! Woo!

Speaker 2 Watch the stairs! Watch it!

Speaker 61 They fought to outmaneuver, evade, and shoot their opponents' heads off. And just when it looked like Team Liquid was on the ropes, they rally.

Speaker 2 Yeah!

Speaker 2 Yeah!

Speaker 2 Yeah! Your next grand finalist is Team Liquid! That's what I'm talking about!

Speaker 2 That's what I'm talking about, baby!

Speaker 2 Team Liquid!

Speaker 25 Are video games a sport?

Speaker 2 Who cares? I'm rich.

Speaker 30 Time to try to buy my dog back.

Speaker 50 All right, and finally, have you heard the good news about Jesus?

Speaker 50 Yeah?

Speaker 50 Now, have you you heard the bad news about Jesus?

Speaker 63 This might actually be the holy grail of new video games. It's called I Am Jesus Christ, and it lets gamers play Jesus to heal a blind man, make fish appear in a bucket, and end a thunderstorm.

Speaker 63 The New Testament-inspired game has not been released yet, but it is expected to launch soon.

Speaker 50 Okay, this

Speaker 50 is extremely offensive. Especially for me, someone who has already accepted Super Mario as my video game savior.
I mean, and I say unto you, it's a me.

Speaker 50 Look, I'll be honest, I don't want to play a video game about Jesus. However, I do want to play as Jesus in other video games.
Think about it. Yeah.

Speaker 50 When Jesus was alive, he rolled with sinners and prostitutes, so he'd kick ass and grand theft auto. He'd be amazing.
Or even better, I'd want Jesus to be in Madden as a quarterback.

Speaker 50 Be like, what's the play, Jesus? Hail Mary, same as every play.

Speaker 50 Or

Speaker 50 Oh.

Speaker 50 I don't want to play Jesus in Mortal Kombat. Yeah, just ripping up dudes' spines, then immediately healing them.
Resurrect him.

Speaker 50 So look, I don't know about this video game, but if you are going to play it and you do get stuck, at least we all know the cheat code. It's going to be up, down, up, down, left, right, A, B, stop.

Speaker 58 That's it.

Speaker 28 Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 28 Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Speaker 28 This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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