TDS Time Machine | Farmers

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You're listening to Comedy Central.

Farmers March on Washington demand return to agrarian-based economy.

Either that or trucks of money.

Farmers from across the United States marched on Capitol Hill Monday, hoping to repeal a 1996 law that gave major corporations an advantage over family farms.

The protesters carried placards with slogans like, wait a minute, what about the farmer?

And chanting, hey, hey, ho, ho, farming requires hay and a hoe.

The freedom to farm law removed most federal controls on what farmers grow, letting them shift from crop to crop to better meet market demands.

Unfortunately, most farmers are still unable to grow DVDs and drawstring cargo pants.

Here's one man who is down on the farm.

It's scary, folks, and it's evolved.

Everybody, if you eat, this is your fight.

Soon afterwards, this man buried his grandfather in an unmarked grave along Pennsylvania Avenue with a note reading, nobody killed him.

He just died.

Farmers at the protest were treated to a 25% reunion of Crosby Still's Nash and Young.

All we need to do is be able to afford to grow the food, buy the seeds, pay for the machinery, and then sell your food at the market.

Huh.

You know, his live shows just aren't what they used to be.

In the escalating trade war between the United States and everyone, one of the hottest hit groups has been U.S.

farmers.

Secretary of Agriculture Sonny Perdue just announcing moments ago that the Trump administration has approved $12 billion in aid specifically going to farmers, an industry that has been hit very hard by what they call today illegal retaliatory tariffs from China.

Farmers, many of whom were Trump voters, right, they've really been hurt by the president's trade wars.

Okay, this is weird.

Because I'm not opposed to a president using government assistance to help people through a crisis, you know, like after a hurricane.

But in this case, the president is the hurricane.

He made this happen.

Right?

Like imagine if a hurricane went through your house like, ah, ah!

Oh, here's $20 for the mess.

Ah, ah!

That's what's basically happened here.

So Donald Trump screwed a bunch of farmers and now he has to pay them off.

I guess now they know how it feels to be Stormy Daniels.

But let's move on now to our top story.

The $1.9 trillion relief bill that Joe Biden signed into law earlier this year had money for everything, from COVID vaccines to stimulus checks to a year's subscription to Biden's OnlyFans.

And it also gave $4 billion in loan forgiveness to black farmers, which it turns out not everyone is happy about.

Joe Biden sent billions of dollars to African-American farmers in this country purely because of how they look.

Now, that's illegal, it's immoral, it's completely divisive.

It's not a bill for black farmers, it's a bill against white farmers.

I don't think they understand their business one bit.

Nobody asks you what race you are when you price fertilizer.

White farmers need not apply by virtue of the color of their skin.

The Democratic Party is becoming the party of reverse racism.

Farmers are being denied aid solely because of their skin color.

In this country, you do not punish people

because they look a certain way, because their ancestors come from a certain place.

Because if the government has the power to destroy a business because of how someone looks, what's next?

Put someone in jail because of how they look?

I mean, what if they make it illegal to look like a testicle that just escaped the scrotum, just as an example?

But it isn't just Fox News gargoyles who are upset about this aid to black farmers.

Last week, a federal judge blocked the aid from going into effect.

while a lawsuit from white farmers proceeds through the court system.

And you might be hearing this story for the first first time and wondering, wait, why should black farmers get special treatment?

Are their cows the ones that make chocolate milk?

Well, yes, but that's not why.

The real reason is something we're going to explore in another edition of, If You Don't Know, Now You Know.

When you picture a farmer in your head, what do you see?

Close your eyes and think about it.

Ah, yeah.

Probably a guy in overalls standing next to a tractor, chewing on a piece of hay or vaping it if he's trying to quit.

And let's be honest.

Oh, you can open your eyes now.

And let's be honest, that farmer in your head is also probably a white guy.

But you may be surprised to learn that there was a time in America when farming was as popular among black people as Telfa bags.

By force and by choice, black people have long, deep connections to American farmland.

After the fall of slavery, owning a piece of land that could be worked and farmed symbolized freedom.

During Reconstruction, Black folks saved their money.

They worked together as a family, as a cooperative, and they bought land that allowed Black families to build communities up to 16 million acres.

At the peak of Black farm ownership around 1920, maybe about 15% of farmers were African American.

In a place where you could not vote, one way that black folks were able to exert power was having some control over the land under their feet.

That's right.

Back in the day, 15% of all American farmers were black.

And that's the kind of representation the Golden Globes can only dream of.

And yes, it is true that there weren't a lot of other professions in the 1920s.

You know, back then it was basically just farming, telegraph operator, and crash landing airplanes, but it makes sense that farming would be especially appealing to black people.

Because owning anything was incredible for black people back then.

Because don't forget, just a generation before that, black people were considered property.

Property.

I mean, imagine if your granddad was a TV and now you own a whole TV company.

That's success.

So if there were so many black farmers back in the day, what happened to them all?

Did somebody finally tell them about sports?

No, it turns out it was America's age-old friend, systemic racism.

White folks recognized pretty early on that

one way to stop the civil rights movement, one way to undercut it, was to get rid of land ownership.

Over the last century, America's black farmers have lost more than 90% of their land because of systemic discrimination and a cycle of debt.

The U.S.

Department of Agriculture has a long history of discrimination.

A study commissioned by the USDA found that loans to black male farmers were 25% lower than those given to white male farmers on average.

For decades, the U.S.

Department of Agriculture systematically favored white farmers by denying loans to black farmers.

And discrimination was widespread at its local branches, which were largely run by all-white county committees.

Many black farmers would come into the office and the local official would say, we don't have any money available.

And when white farmers came in, they would process their loans less than 30 days.

And for black farmers, it took 387 days on average.

We'd fill out the papers, and then they would just take the paperwork and just throw it in the trash.

Without the same access to funds, black farmers struggle to keep up with their white competitors and are often forced out of business.

We're talking $177 to $230 billion.

that black farmers have lost because of active discrimination.

That's right.

For decades, the USDA actively discriminated against black farmers, giving them smaller loans than white farmers or outright refusing to give them loans altogether.

And that's according to the USDA.

So I mean that's like digging up your own tweets and canceling yourself.

Yeah

go away me.

But that's how bad this discrimination was.

And farming is hard enough on its own.

I mean think about you got pests, you've got droughts, you got ghosts trying to get you to build a baseball field.

The last thing you need is for the federal government to be up against you.

And after decades of discrimination, black farmers had had enough.

And so they took their complaints right to the top.

Black farmers first picketed the Department of Agriculture in 1996.

About 50 showed up with a pair of mules and a wagon to protest racial discrimination.

Thousands had sent in complaints, but they found the civil rights office at the USDA had been closed for years, and boxes of their letters remained unopened.

In 1999, thousands of black farmers settled a historic class action discrimination lawsuit against the USDA in a landmark case called Pickford v.

Glickman.

The government agreed to pay out more than $1 billion, with thousands of black farmers receiving up to $50,000 each.

The vast majority never received a dime from the federal government.

An overwhelming number of farmers were dubbed late filers by USDA when their applications trickled into office inboxes after a 180-day deadline.

Tens of thousands of black farmers claim they did not receive proper notification of the settlement.

For so many of them, it's been red tape and setbacks ever since.

11 years of splitting time between the fields and Capitol Hill, staging protests, even riding tractors through downtown D.C.

to get attention from Congress.

Okay, now this,

this is how you protest.

Riding tractors and mules into downtown D.C., not only are you bringing attention to your cause, but riding a mule is the one time a cop can't pull you over for for a busted taillight.

And they had to take some extreme measures.

Because if anyone knows bullshit, it's farmers.

And this was definitely some bullshit.

I mean, the government basically admitted that it owed the farmers money, but then bogged them down in red tape.

Let me tell you something, man.

If you lose a lawsuit, the hearing should end with the bailiff marching you to the ATM to watch you withdraw that money.

Oh, whoopsie.

Looks like I forgot my pen.

Oh well, it's your birthday backwards, man.

Just do it.

Now, the government tried to fix things in 2011 by providing some more funding to black farmers.

But unfortunately, it came too late for many of them and it still fell far short of the economic losses that they had suffered at the hands of the USDA.

So the next time you hear people talking about how black farmers are getting extra special treatment from the government, think about the treatment that they've been getting for the last last 100 years.

And you know, some of the people who are upset about this loan forgiveness, they might not even know that all this discrimination even happened, which I understand.

And that's why we've decided to update the most famous song about farmers to better express the black farming experience.

Old Black Donald had a farm, couldn't get a loan.

Now the only farm he's got is on his mobile phone.

Cause Cause of racism here and a racism there.

Here a racist, there a racist, everywhere a racist, racist.

Old Black Donald had a barn.

Now he works at Kohl's.

I'm on my break!

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Living in New York City, we're continually reminded of where our food comes from, whether it be Shake Shack or Second Avenue Delhi.

But did you know that the food that you eat comes comes from someplace before that?

Asif Monvy filed this report.

America's heartland grows crops to feed the world, but we often forget to acknowledge those who bring us this bountiful harvest year after year.

Biotech companies.

Biotech companies are revolutionizing farming.

Really?

Yes, they are helping to put more food on on tables throughout the world.

For instance, biotech giant Monsanto makes patented genetically modified seeds that resist resist highly toxic weed killers, which they also happen to make.

But now, their time-honored way of life is under attack.

Sometimes farmers act in a manner that's not in the best interests of the biotechnology seed companies.

Yes, Big Farmer has forced Monsanto to pursue legal action against them over 500 times a year.

Monsanto's lawyers are accusing farmers of violating their patents regardless of whether they're doing it or not.

Maybe the farmers deserve it.

That's not not true.

But come on, these seeds are patented.

In one case, I'm aware of Percy Smeiser.

Trucks driving by his farm on the way to the elevator, the seeds blew off the truck and into his field.

He was sued by Monsanto.

Maybe he shouldn't have built his farm downwind.

That's ridiculous.

Costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to defend against a patent infringement lawsuit.

They basically force us all to fall into line with their rules.

Do you know how hard it is to develop seeds?

It's not like they grow on trees.

All Monsanto asks is that greenie farmers pay a yearly licensing fee for new seeds rather than reuse seeds from a previous harvest the way they've done since farming began.

Monsanto patenting

our plants is a theft of our genetic heritage.

Maybe you should patent your genetic heritage and then they can't patent the patent of the genetic heritage.

See, that's why patent lawyers are so vital.

They've done what farmers have never been able to do, collect royalties on nature.

Can you patent anything?

No.

I mean you can patent seeds.

That's true.

Can you patent air?

Not aware of any patents on air.

No.

Can you patent a stylifarny?

That's not patent eligible.

It has to be novel and non-obvious.

Can I get a patent on that?

Highly remarkable.

It's kind of a weird thing.

Look, see that?

Ladies.

Even if you did, it would think be very difficult to enforce.

But not difficult for our heroic patent attorneys, considering what they've helped Monsanto achieve.

Monsanto's lawyers are professionals.

This is all they do: sue farmers.

That's how they've gained a 93% market share.

They have a 93% market share?

93%.

You have to do a lot of suing to get that kind of market share.

I mean, this is back-breaking work they're doing.

What are you doing?

Growing food.

Big deal.

Any hipster can grow food.

You can grow tomatoes on a Williamsburg rooftop.

Doesn't take a lot of skill.

It took five generations to

get to this point, to accumulate

what we have.

Then you know

biotech patent law has been around since 1985.

It's time to honor these unsung heroes.

It's morning again in America's firms.

Somewhere today a law firmer is tossing on his Brooks brotheralls and working hard in the field to uncover cases of patent infringement.

Doing the faxing, proofreading, redacting, and litigating that no one else in America seems to have the wherewithal to do anymore.

It's a tough job, but it has its rewards.

A lot of rewards.

In fact, it's mostly rewards.

It's the kind of work that makes a boy look into his father's smiling eyes and say, Dad, someday I want to f over a farmer, just like you do.

The views expressed in this segment in no way reflect those of the Daily Show.

Monsanto, please don't sue us.

We're going to have my guest tonight.

He is the president and co-founder of Farm Sanctuary.

His new book is called Living the Farm Sanctuary Life: The Ultimate Guide to Eating Mindfully, Living Longer, and Feeling Better Every Day.

Please welcome to the program, Mr.

Gene Bauer.

Sir!

Thank you for being here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm delighted to see you here.

You guys do incredible work.

But before we get into the whole thing on Living the Farm Sanctuary, I like the book, explain just very briefly: what is Farm Sanctuary?

Farm Sanctuary is an organization that works to protect farm animals from the cruelty of factory farming.

We operate sanctuaries where the animals get to live out their lives.

And these are animals that have literally been thrown in trash cans or on piles of dead animals.

And so we just take care of them.

They're our friends, not our food.

And we encourage people just to think about the way we live and eat and to make more mindful choices.

It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name.

So true true.

I have found.

So true, so true.

Because I am, look, on the one side,

this eating mindfully and vegan seems to be the solution to nutrition, to health, to global warming.

Yes, absolutely.

On the other side,

Corned beef.

Well, there's habits.

How do we bridge that gap?

Well,

there are now meatless meats that can taste a lot like corned beef.

And

they can, they can.

All right.

Yeah, and they're getting better every year.

And it's getting easier and easier than it's ever been.

And there are actually companies that have been set up to create plant-based meats that have a very similar mouthfeel, a similar texture and taste.

Can I get

beans?

You don't need to eat that stuff either.

Because if I were to get this, will an old Jewish man yell at me while I I eat it, though?

That's really, that's the corned beef experience I would miss.

Yeah, that could happen.

That could happen.

You know, it's interesting.

So the Dietary Council just released, I mean, on the heels of this book,

that this vegan lifestyle is sort of the solution to

so many of the issues that are going on in the world.

We could save 70% on health care costs if we shifted to a whole foods plant-based diet in this country.

We could save so much in terms of resources, water, for example.

Half of the water used in this country is used to raise animals for food.

So shifting away from eating animals and eating plants would put a much lighter footprint on the planet.

Global warming is a whole nother thing, climate change.

Animal agriculture contributes more to climate change than the entire transportation industry.

So, you know, just by shifting to eating plants, we can have enormous impacts, you know, on animals, on the planet, and on our own well-being.

You know?

Here's what I love about this book, though.

It's not, you know, I think sometimes

those who have adopted this lifestyle can sometimes get a little sanctimonious or sometimes like...

We're a passionate group, very passionate, but can really give you the once over if they catch you throwing down a little bit of, you know, what you call bakos.

I guess you call them bakos.

There are actually, bakos are vegan, believe it or not.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Oh, that should be easy for me, though.

There's a lot of things that are vegan, but you wouldn't know it.

That's the other really cool thing that's happening.

Gene, I eat a bakos-based diet.

I always do.

Now you can do this.

Have it on almost everything.

But what I like about it is you take into account it's pragmatic.

You take into account that this is not an easy transition for people that we have been raised on a certain thing.

And there's a lot of things in here that talk about

trying just to make small lifestyle changes that can still make a big difference.

Very true.

And for example, spaghetti and meatballs.

You can just do veggie meatballs.

Or put veggies in there.

So that's an example of what you do instead of hamburgers, veggie burgers.

Or you could also just eat beans and whole foods, you know, and veggies and fruits.

And there's like a...

Or even you say like just do it once a week.

Once a week.

Meatless Mondays is a great program.

Right.

Tofu Tuesday, for God's sake.

We could do this all day.

We could.

What is the difficulty of this?

Because you have the moral argument, that sort of this idea that these animals, we don't understand their

individuals.

They are, and they have emotional lives, they have relationships, and they want to live just like we do.

They're not different than cats and dogs in terms of their desire to be friends with us.

And at farm sanctuary, and I think you've started experiencing this too, with animals, they get to know you and they start following you around.

And we have turkeys at the farm who just love human companionship.

And that's something most people don't understand or recognize.

And unfortunately, when these animals are being mistreated on factory farms and when we're eating them, there's sort of an emotional desire not to think about them.

So you have all these arguments.

Do you feel the tide changing?

It seems like it's changing.

In a huge way.

There's more awareness now than there's ever been before.

People recognize that the way we've been eating this country is really problematic.

People are suffering from heart disease, cancer.

People are recognizing that climate change is a major issue we need to look at.

And we can make one choice to eat plant foods instead of animal foods, and it will have an impact.

And so, and it's something everybody can do.

There's a lot of things in this world we don't have a lot of control over, but what we decide to eat, each of us every day has a choice to make.

And that's interesting.

Maybe the one thing that's difficult to people is it would seem overwhelming.

Like, do you have to cook?

You know, the one thing that we've been able to do in the society is make things convenient.

You can drive up and get just poison in a box.

It's what we got.

It's poison in a box.

It is.

Will this lifestyle be able to compete, or will it ever be able to compete, if it doesn't have that same kind of convenience?

Or is that the next wave?

Is that the next thing that's coming?

I think the convenience is coming.

You have vegan fast food restaurants now that are being established around the country.

You have vegan meatless meats, vegan dairy products.

You got to come up with a better thing than meatless meats because that just,

just in terms of sloganeering, we got to.

That's okay.

I have a delicious meatless meat.

Well,

that's the next, I think.

And non-dairy milks, too.

Like, you go to mainstream grocery stores, there's alternatives to cow's milk everywhere.

So it's getting a lot easier.

Yeah, I'm a lactate man.

I don't know what they can do for that.

Have I shared too much already with the audience?

It's really a terrific book.

It lays it out so simply and incredibly, and then tons of great recipes.

I really appreciate it.

You guys are doing phenomenal work at Farm Sanctuary, and this book is great as well.

So get it!

Living the Farm Sanctuary life.

Team Bauer.

Really nice.

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Oh, and speaking of babies, let's talk about how they're made.

Well, guess who's having a field day in the sheets?

A new study shows farmers have the most sex out of any other profession, on average having sex at least once a day.

67% of them rate their performance as incredible.

Sex experts say it's because farmers are likely to be more fit than desk-bound city dwellers and have more stamina.

Farmers were closely followed by architects and hairdressers for having the most sex.

At the bottom of the list, journalists.

Yeah, that's right.

Apparently, of all the professions, farmers have the most sex and journalists have the least,

which doesn't shock me, all right?

In this era, journalists don't have time to be having sex because Trump is always breaking news.

I bet every time journalists try and set the mood, they'll be at home like lighting candles.

They'll be like, baby, it's time.

Womp, womp,

I've been really trying to build this wall god damn it he did it again

and as for the farmers like of course they have a lot of sex farming is a sexy profession think about it all day what do they do plowing huh

planting seeds growing eggplants

watering vagina trees yeah

Although, although, I will say, they didn't say farmers are having sex with people.

Yeah.

They just said they have the most sex.

All I'm saying is, scarecrows don't need to have mouths.

That's all I'm saying.

Easy access to fresh and healthy food is a challenge for millions of Americans.

But some farmers in Southern California think they've solved the problem by using hydroponics.

And they're even employing U.S.

veterans to do it.

We're able to deliver a much more nutritious, faster-growing, tastier, and more robust.

Wait a second.

Hold on.

I think I know this guy's bloated, angrier brother.

This is not some opinion.

This is a mathematical fact.

You're wasting valuable oxygen.

Can we please cut off this man's microphone?

He has no interest in answering my questions.

No, that is Dylan Radigan from MSNBC.

But what's he doing here?

There was very little incentive or desire from the left or right-wing media apparatus to actually resolve any problems.

it became apparent that there was more value in working with veterans to deploy a high-technology hydroponic organic farming system than there was in participating in a hollow political debate.

So you think making a farm that employs veterans is more fulfilling than cable news?

That's correct.

But you're like the incredible Hulk.

No one cares about Bill Bixby.

I want to see you green, pounding your fist on the desk, yelling at some blonde chick.

Why sit around arguing with people in a circle when we could actually be building greenhouses, creating jobs?

Can you bring that in, please?

Thanks.

That's better.

We can talk like normal people now.

I put a farm behind you.

We're on a farm.

Trust me, I work in television.

You don't.

Anymore.

Even his former colleagues can't believe what he's turning his back on.

What would possess a anchor of a daily television program to walk away from all his apparent success?

But he did walk away.

And it was shocking just how far he had fallen.

Wait a second factor.

Are those f ⁇ ing crocs?

Yes, they are.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with crocs?

Nothing if you're three.

You're a grown man.

What if I was barefoot?

Flip a coin.

I mean,

it's like, yeah, what kind of ass am I?

It was becoming clear, since he checked out of his old life, Radigan had forgotten everything that truly matters.

Basically, what you're looking at is a system that uses 90% less water, grows three times as much food,

three times as quickly.

What about the other side of that issue?

What do those people think?

What do you mean, other side?

The side that disagrees with whatever you're saying.

TDS 247 starts now.

We're actually joined by Keith Myers from Lubbock, Texas, who is a plumber and works with water all the time.

Keith, what do you think about Dylan's plan for a waterless society?

Being a plumber, I'm making my living off of water.

You take away the water, you take away my job.

Yeah, I don't think this is actually an issue.

There's a meaningful water shortage around the world.

And what we're doing is we're going to...

We're going to have to stop you right there.

We're going to have to take a quick break.

We'll be right back with more on the water issue.

You're watching TBS 247.

Step it up

bring it this farming is

with your head and old McDonald had plenty of critiques for the state of cable news it's too focused on feelings and not focused enough on facts they'll book the same pundits that sort of can echo what they think they'll use panels uh to basically to make the audience feel that there are people like them that feel true let's find out

I like these panels because it's like with team sport I'm there to root for my team I like to know other viewpoints and it makes me feel usually that I'm right and I also get bored if it's just one person talking so this panel is pro-panel absolutely yes yes

tell team despite all the evidence Radigan maintains he made the right decision I find the work as I said to be incredibly fulfilling but is he telling the truth?

We're joined by body language expert Nova Reed.

Nova, do you think Dylan here is truly fulfilled?

His body language is leaning forward.

His shoulders are slightly jostling from side to side.

Somebody that's fulfilled, their body language is leaning back.

Or relaxed like myself.

Dylan, what do you think?

I think I was walking up a hill.

If I lean back on the hill, I'm going to fall down.

I got to lean forward to walk up the hill.

All right, she's the expert.

Not fulfilled, man.

Walking up a hill, bro.

In the end, we all have to realize that it's the audience who calls the shots.

So, show of hands.

How many people want to see Dylan back on television?

That guy hates you.

But don't worry, Farmer Radigan.

If you ever get tired of hiring veterans and fixing world hunger, just remember this guy is out there waiting for another shot.

Let's move on now to some international news coming out of Belgium.

It's a country that is so much more than just waffles.

Like, they have...

And while there's not usually much news coming out of Belgium, one man there has just sparked a major diplomatic incident.

A Belgian farmer taking the concept of country pride a bit too far.

He moved a stone on his property some seven feet to make room for a tractor, inadvertently shifting the border with France, making his country bigger and France smaller.

Turns out the stone is part of a series of border markers that have been in place since 1819.

Wait, hold up.

Europeans can just arbitrarily move their own borderlines around?

Huh.

I thought they only did that to Africa.

Man.

This is such a fun story though, because I love the idea that countries mark their borders like kids playing soccer in a park.

Okay, the goal is between the trash can and the tree.

And that book bag over there, that's where Germany starts.

And you know, as much as it makes me feel better that even countries have been getting bigger during the pandemic, are we sure this was an accident?

I mean, maybe this is just Belgium's slow plan to take over the world.

You know, everyone's like, oh, it's just seven feet.

Let them have it.

And then a year later, it's another seven feet and then another seven feet.

And then one day we'll just be like, was Tokyo always a part of Belgium?

Huh?

Feels like it wasn't.

Let's move on now to our main story.

And it comes out of India, the country that Christopher Columbus's dumbass couldn't find.

And we're talking about India because in a year of global protests, they're in the midst of the biggest one anywhere.

Thousands of farmers blocked highways across India today in protest of the country's new agricultural laws.

The blockades are only the latest development in the face-off between agricultural workers and the government.

This is one of the busiest highways leading to Delhi.

It's been blocked for weeks.

Tens of thousands of farmers from the northern states of India have marched to the capital city.

Last November, they organized a national strike involving 250 million people.

That's more than all the adults in America.

And their struggle isn't going unnoticed.

RMB megastar Rihanna asked her 100 million Twitter followers, why aren't we talking about this?

Climate activist Greta Thunberg tweeted a message of solidarity, sparking a furious response from the Indian government.

It's also drawn the ire of New Delhi police, who in only the last few hours have now filed a police case citing Thunberg's tweet.

Rihanna and Greta Thunberg effigies were burnt recently by pro-government crowds after they tweeted in favor of the farmers.

Damn.

When a country that hot starts burning shit, you know they aren't messing around.

I mean, they're burning Greta Thunberg in effigy, which is really gonna piss her off.

I mean, think of all the carbon emissions.

By the way, there was definitely at least one guy in that crowd who already had a life-size Rihanna pillow.

He was at the protest, like, ha ha, no, guys, it's an effigy, let's burn it.

I definitely didn't marry this pillow.

So, why exactly are India's farmers protesting?

Well, let's step back and find out in another installment of If You Don't Know, Now You Know.

When you think about farming, what do you think about?

You probably think about how it works in the United States.

Giant agribusiness companies running giant farms where they raise cows that are so jacked on steroids they look like when you milk them, protein shakes come out of their teeth.

Most Indian farmers work on a much smaller scale.

And it's when the government tried to change that up that the manure hit the fan.

This is all happening because Prime Minister Modi's government has passed new farming laws that will change how the agricultural industry has worked for decades.

India's agriculture sector makes up nearly 15% of the country's $2.9 trillion economy and employs around half of its 1.3 billion people.

The vast majority of India's farmers own fewer than three acres.

For decades, they've sold their produce in their home states, government-sanctioned markets called Mondays, a system that guaranteed minimum prices on several key commodities.

In September last year, the government passed three farm laws that loosen rules on how crops are produced, stored, and sold.

The laws allow private players a greater role, and that sparked farmers' fears that they will lose decades-old concessions and be left to fend for themselves at the mercy of the free market.

The measures, they say, will only benefit big corporations and push them into poverty.

These laws will have an effect on anyone who eats.

They will buy from us at very low prices and we lose our livelihoods.

Man, that sounds like a really rough situation for those farmers.

And if this last year has taught us anything, it's that we cannot take farmers for granted.

Nowhere in the world, we need farmers.

I mean, we all saw what happened when we tried to grow our own vegetables on our kitchen windowsills.

After nine months, what did did we grow?

Nothing other than resentment and hatred for our roommates.

And this law is gonna have widespread repercussions because farming employs 600 million people in India.

That's almost twice the entire population of the United States.

Which, apart from everything else, is just another reminder that the Twitter trends are pretty bullshit.

I mean, you'd think the entire world is talking about the Joker and the Snyder cut when in reality, if everyone was on Twitter, the top trending topics every day would just be wheat.

So with their livelihoods at stake, India's farmers decided to make their opposition known by blocking the roads into the capital as a form of civil disobedience.

You know, it's like that Mahatma Gandhi quote I saw on the internet, sitting in traffic sucks, major ass.

And that's how things stayed for a while, until a couple weeks ago, when they escalated it big time.

The largely peaceful campaign briefly turned violent last week when protesters drove a procession of tractors into the heart of the capital,

The government has arrested more than 120 people and charged farm union leaders with rioting and sedition.

Now the government's responding by using massive concrete barriers to box in the three main sit-in sites along New Delhi's highways.

It's also cut off electricity, water and the internet.

Delhi police have deployed 50,000 police-empowered military personnel in and around the capital.

There are extra drones flying over protest sites.

They have erected thousands of iron nails on some of the roads leading up to some of the sites.

India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi has broke his silence describing violence in the capital, New Delhi, last Tuesday as an insult to the country.

Modi says he'll not change his mind on the new laws, but has repeated an offer to delay them for 18 months.

How damn that tractor was moving!

It's like someone made a grand theft automation in Animal Crossing.

But look, clearly the government has decided that they've had enough of this protest because this is a major crackdown.

And maybe they think postponing the law will satisfy the farmer, but think about it.

In 18 months, people will be in the same position that they are in now.

And the protests will happen all over again.

I mean, you're basically just giving people 18 months to get angrier and soup up their tractors even more.

But you see, this crackdown shows you how worried the government must be about this protest.

And honestly, they probably should be, because it's clear that these farmers are digging in for the long haul.

Farmers say they are undeterred by the government's crackdown and will continue their protests until the agriculture laws are repealed.

Tents have lined the highway where farmers spend cold winter nights.

Water tankers are brought in by tractors for bathing, cooking, and cleaning.

Medical booths have been set up to tend to the sick.

Dozens of people, young and old, are busy cooking in community kitchens and serving meals.

There's a makeshift mall, a roadside market selling jackets and coats.

Youngsters intermittently break the routine with song and dance atop tractors.

We've made this our home.

Whether it takes four years or more,

we're here to stay.

Now you see there,

that's some determination right there.

That dude is ready to protest for four years, which doesn't surprise me because nobody on earth is more patient than a farmer.

Farmers of the same people who will wait five months to grow an eggplant.

An eggplant.

I'm not even patient enough to find it in the emoji.

Sometimes I'll just send like a cucumber or something.

And you know if you ask me, it was especially smart of those farmers to build a mall inside their camp.

Because think about it, now if the government sends in police officers, those cops automatically become mall cops and lose all authority.

Check, mate.

So the next time you see Indian farmers trending, you'll have a little idea of what it all means.

The government is trying to force the farmers back to their fields, but the farmers aren't giving up their demands.

And nobody knows how this thing is going to end up.

But I don't know.

If I may quote one of their prominent supporters, this protest might just work, work, work, work, work, work.

Snienis mane burr-burr burr burr burr burr.

And if you don't know, now you know.

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