123 - The Past Times with Dave Hill

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All right, everybody.

Welcome to the Pastimes Podcast.

Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony.

I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week.

Man surrounded by guitars, as always, the great Dave Hill.

Hi, Dave.

Hello.

Thank you for coming back.

Thank you for coming back.

Thanks for having me.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Stop apologizing.

I know I need to stop.

I'm not going to.

I'm going to own it.

What were you doing?

What were you doing?

That's a good question.

I was literally picking up my sweet BMX bike and about to walk down the stairs and go on a sick BMX bike ride.

And then I was like...

Would you be filming some content on this ride?

I might.

I don't always.

It depends on my mood.

Sometimes I'm in, you know,

if I'm on Ford, I will.

It depends how many cones I see.

Yeah.

It's a cone-based.

Yeah, you make content.

A lot of people do.

That's my main thing.

Dave, it's hard to know what to promote for you because you're a successful author, musician, comedian,

content man,

hockey star.

One of the greats.

What would you like people, where can people find you and why would people find you?

Sell yourself to the people and

I've got a lot of heart.

I would say upcoming,

if you're in New York, I'm doing my residency at La Possin Rouge, April 22nd.

Could you say that without the accent?

Is that possible?

Yeah, you say it like,

let's not do soy boy accents.

Yeah, don't be damned.

I leaned into it because I was making fun of people who do that.

You better be.

But I really,

Le on Rouge.

Do you know Dave and I are Proud Boys?

Well, you know, things change so quickly.

Yeah.

We became Proud Boys about eight months ago.

We got licensed.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I just want to let you know that.

Yeah, I'm doing that.

Three more shows.

I've been doing this weekly residency that's just started, and I have four more, three more of K.

Do you do poetry?

What do you do there?

It's comedy with music.

I have a backing band.

I ride my sweet BMX bike.

We got a seven-foot stage.

Wait, you're riding your bike on stage now?

Yeah.

It's a full experience.

Good.

And I got a seven-foot animatronic dragon now.

It's a full production.

What?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's wild.

That makes sense.

From my apartment, which I really like.

So do that.

And then my debut comic book series is coming out May 14th.

Oh, Christ.

It's called Dark.

Have you thought about doing less shit?

It's crazy.

Yeah,

I don't want to do anything, really.

What's the goal?

I was just talking about this.

Someone was saying something, you know, saying that I do a lot of stuff yesterday.

And I was saying, I don't really want to do anything other than hang out with my dog and then eat snacks.

with my girlfriend and friends and things like that.

But you got to have like stuff to talk about.

I want to eat snacks with my girlfriend is what a kid thinks being an adult is.

It's what this adult thinks being an adult.

I'm just missing, like, I just need a little more money.

Yeah, well, only a reason.

After this Airs, I think you'll get a bunch of that.

Yeah, but I think

over the next four years, we're all going to become really rich.

Well, we're all, yeah, absolutely.

There are really good things happening.

And once China stops fucking around,

we'll really

be great.

Everything's really going to be very great.

Again, finally.

Yeah.

Anyway, we're not here to.

Yeah, no, go ahead.

I mean, well, look, like I said.

I'll just say I'm looking up barbed wire for that.

I'm going to line my

traps I'm going to set around my home.

It's never been a better time to have a seven-foot dragon at your

fingers.

That's for sure.

Well, Dave, you know what we do on this show.

I sure do don't.

Aside, not you, better best days.

Sorry.

Wow.

You know,

we like to go through old papers.

We like to guess the year.

Again, we've become Proud Boys, so there'll be no sort of anti-America stuff.

We're both holding box cutters, and we have tier guests close to us.

But why don't you, Dave Hill, best Dave of the show?

Why don't you guess the year you think this paper's from?

I'll guess after,

and spoiler, you will win this.

I'm going to go 1937.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Interesting.

1891.

Character's so bad at this.

It is 1936, September 5th.

Yes.

Dave.

Oh, my gosh.

Dave.

Yes.

I scared myself just now.

You should.

Yeah.

You're basically a warlock.

Yeah.

No, you should be burned or drowned or both.

This feels good.

I bet it does.

That was good.

It's a good start.

Can I ask, just in terms of my facial expressions and things that I'll be using throughout this show?

Is there video that will be used will there be some video okay so

so yeah so I would have leaned into the surprise more do you want to do another take oh my gosh I was so close

Dave will you say what the actual year is one more time

it is 1936

oh my gosh yeah I don't know what that reaction was that was that one is was the one you did in rehearsal was better but we were rolling so we'll probably

okay yeah just cut it in as needed that was great thank you Dave what's the hot hot, what's the hockey jersey you're wearing?

I'm glad you asked, Dave.

Uh,

a guy on uh Instagram was kind enough.

This happens every once in a while.

Someone will write and say, Can I send you a jersey or sweater, as they are often called?

Um, and this is the Flynn Flon Bombers, which was the junior team, probably most famously, to my mind anyway, Bobby Clark, NHL Great, played for them in Flynn Flon, Manitoba.

Sure.

And this guy.

Those are not places for those who are.

I don't think they are either.

I believe it's northeast of Winnipeg by about an hour and a half or two.

And

he, this guy, Mark McDonald, DM'd me and was like, I want to send you a jersey.

And a lot of times people will say, oh, I want to send you something.

And I think, you're going to send me a bomb or something, aren't you?

That's right.

And,

but he sent.

And my policy now is if it's coming from another country, I just give them my home address because I'm like, what are the chances of them showing up?

Yeah, no,

stateside people, my girlfriend.

They can find you anyway, if they really can.

They can, yeah.

But I do have a P.O.

box.

My girlfriend made me get one.

Also, how a child abuse adulthood.

My girlfriend made me impose.

Well, I'll tell you what happened.

Someone sent me a package, and I couldn't remember

who had sent it or what it was.

And I was opening it, and it was just this box that was obviously not from like, it was from an individual.

And

I opened it, and

I just saw an American flag.

And right away, we were like, oh no, this is a bomb.

And

then it turned out there was like a vintage flag, but then all these other nice items that someone had sent.

So, but then she was like, you know what?

It's time.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

Anyway, but yeah, so this guy, Mark, was kind of sent me jersey, t-shirt,

hat, tokens, they call them,

a couple stickers, really the full.

You got the whole thing.

The full apparel, we call it.

Who's your NHL team?

Are you in in the playoffs this year?

No, sadly, we're out.

The Rangers.

I root for the Rangers because I live in New York, and

I'm more a lover of the game, so I just go root for the home team, you know.

Sure, I get it.

All right.

Well, this is

a big hockey town.

Reno, Nevada.

Reno Cazettes, September 5th, 1936.

Reno, of course, famous for their hockey.

Sure.

Yeah.

The Renos.

Things were never good in Reno, but what was it like when everything was bad and Reno was existing?

Reno has never, yeah, someone, didn't someone write to us recently and say, hey, you guys, yeah, someone was saying that.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the Reno stuff is a little bit much.

And I just want to say, like, you can never say enough bad things about Reno.

Like, Reno is

not good.

No, people ask us to go there or it's

a no.

It really is.

It's bad.

Reno's like, what if Atlantic City was landlocked?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

But I bet you could wring a couple nights of fun out of that town.

I don't think so.

It's pretty hard, man.

I got to be honest.

Well,

you're in for a treat.

I've taken the liberty

of booking a gentleman's weekend in Rio.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my lord.

What's on the agenda?

Do we have any

Dave?

I wish you would ask me what wasn't on the agenda because then it would take me a lot less time to answer.

Okay, what's not on the agenda?

Never mind.

Being well-mannered and knowing our limits.

That's not on the agenda.

Knowing our limits.

All right.

Mother rescues two small boys after mile swim.

That's a long swim.

Mild?

Mile.

Oh, mile.

Okay, sure.

Yeah, that's a distance.

This is news out of Quincy, Massachusetts.

What are you doing?

Showing that I could do a mile.

Nobody's going to be able to do it.

Can you just flex it?

What's your regimen?

I swim a lot of miles.

Do you?

No.

But I could.

Dave's arms broken.

Yeah.

Dave's arms don't work.

What do you do?

Parkour?

I do a lot of parkour where they tell me not to.

I do a lot of.

It's hard when we're on tour.

He'll just start parkouring on him.

I don't even call it a tour.

I call it a park tour.

And I go around and I sort of jump from building to building and ledge to ledge.

I'm a big ledged guy.

I like to go ledge to bench.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good one.

The thing about parkour, which I, let's, to be clear, I am amazing at, but

when you watch the videos, they do make it look so easy yeah well we're just we're because to us it's how you see it as a thing where we're just walking yeah yeah

yeah that's how we view it you we look at you normies and we go oh look at him looking at me well you call us grounders right yeah you grounders yeah yeah you guys are a bunch of grounders

so that's not what we did sometimes i jump over a bench and i turn into a somersault go ahead dave you had something

miss chester v anderson 24 went about her household tasks today, as usual.

Wouldn't be able to do that name.

A miles swim, fully clothed, to rescue her five-year-old son and his chum, only a memory.

Oh.

Wait, what?

She's gone back to her regular mom life after rescuing her son.

Oh, oh.

I thought the chum boy was actual chum at the end of the day.

It is a bad word to use.

Chum is a bad term for a friend when you're talking about being drowning, when drowning in the ocean.

And so the lead of this story is that she's just gone back to her regular life

already?

Yes, she's not a motherfucker.

We'll make compartmentalizes.

Choose that to baking pie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Suddenly missing the chatter of her son, Chester, and Gerard Reed, eight, Miss Anderson stepped to the

no eight-year-old's named Gerard Reed.

I'm sorry to interrupt you so quickly.

No, that's a 40.

You're born 47 years old if you're Gerard Reed.

Gerard Reed.

Yeah.

They come out really.

What were his first words?

Hello, I'm Gerard Reed.

I'm sorry.

Miss Anderson stepped to the porch of her home yesterday.

You're supposed to interject.

That's the whole point is you interject.

Yeah, I know, but I feel, you know, I'm just a Midwestern.

well-mannered guy.

No, right.

So you apologize for nothing about it.

Yeah, that's you're going to have to shake that for this.

Yeah, right.

So just jump in.

Miss Anderson stepped to the porch of her home yesterday afternoon and saw I got something to say.

Like that, that's what you do.

Yeah.

All right.

A cold dose.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, go ahead.

That was just a.

And saw the two drifting in the middle of Four River in an oarless rowboat.

The current was carrying the

sea.

Rowboat.

So they're just in a boat that's, they have no way to control it yeah well row is a big part of that boat title the oars

yeah i thought the kids had swung hey hey what are you doing just jumping in hey hey hey

you jump in whatever you want dave's

i thought you were talking about jumping in the water i got

confused but wait dave hill has a very good point we were told a swim had happened so she swung

oh

after the boat because

not to attack this writer further, but

it makes it sound like the kids swam a mile, and then maybe we're fatigued.

Then somehow the mom swam to get them.

You're right.

That is what it sounds like.

So you're right.

Also,

like,

if there's two kids in a boat, you just go, I don't know, they seem fine.

Maybe I should get a boat and just take my time.

Go after them in a boat instead of jumping in the water.

Yeah.

Because it's cold.

We're talking about bosses.

She's clearly fine.

She's gone back to her normal life.

Yeah, yeah,

distant memory.

Without feet.

I didn't realize that part.

I think I was.

Well, she has no frost feet.

They cut her feet off when she got back because of frostbite.

He's lying, Dave.

He's lying.

Wait, really?

Yes.

Let's go back to the story, but you'll find out that I'm correct.

The current was carrying the boat to sea.

She plunged into the water, fully clothed.

Damn.

How much better is that story if she got it all off?

I was just wondering, like, did was stuff like kind of like shifting and tapping?

This is the time of when the ladies are wearing like, you know, like four dresses, like the underdresses and underdresses.

So she'll run.

She's almost dying.

Yeah.

And she swam through the choppy water to the boat a mile away, then grabbing the stern with one hand, she pushed the boat back to shore by swimming with one arm and kicking her feet.

Damn.

The boys had been playing in the rowboat at the shore, and they lifted the anchor and soon found themselves drifting in the middle of the river.

Miss Anderson, a former beauty contest winner, is the wife of a machinist at the Naval Air Base.

Marry the lead much.

Wow.

Hot woman gets wet.

That's the title.

Come on.

Yeah.

That's your story.

That's how

let me into this paper a little.

I'll be the headline.

You'd be great.

Smoke show gets drippy.

They were really obsessed with the mile swim.

I feel like they emphasize that too much as opposed to what happened, which was

a lady swimming in fully clothed.

The husband was at the was the at the machine shop we can only yeah he's working he's working he's down at the shop and then he's the one who came back and probably cut off her feet because he has the i don't believe we heard anything about the feet being taken off though dave well you know i think you know off paper you've been suggesting that she lost both of her feet a lot i'm pretty sure she did yeah it seems like there's no well she's named stumpy now so can you explain

is there anything like that in the paper first of all i don't think that's a good thing to you can read between the lines.

That's interesting.

There's a story within the story that's obviously there.

Well, there's one Dave on this show who should be apologizing, and it's not the guest.

I'm enraged.

I could tell you're hot.

That's my face for the

clip for me.

I'm enraged.

That's actually good.

Let's get the clip for the show now.

I'm enraged.

Yeah.

Everything's crazy here.

You're going to have to tune into the whole episode to find out what just happened yeah oh my gosh oh man people are gonna have to watch the whole episode to see what just happened

uh slang suspect makes escape after fight with police wait we've moved on this we've moved on from this woman already this is a paper dave this is gonna happen don't get attached no i get it i get it don't get attached no i know there's other stuff do you yeah okay because i'm idiot no no

no No, that's another clip.

That's a good clip.

All right, yo, it's not an idiot.

Oh, my God.

What just happened?

People are going to have to listen to the whole episode to find out what just happened for.

I didn't come on this show to get ambushed.

That's another.

I'm getting.

People are going to have to listen to the whole show to figure out what just happened.

Like, oh, man.

This fucking idiot thought we were going to do the one story the whole time.

Oh.

Oh, my gosh.

Every fucking guest falls for that shit.

Every

single man, oh man.

This is how you internet.

Oh, man.

We're doing like a morning zooish thing on here now.

Yeah.

Things are pretty bad personally and professionally.

So we're trying to do stuff like this now.

Yeah,

you got to go broad.

Cast a wider net.

Thank you.

That's what I've been trying to do.

It's not going well.

It's not your mad.

It isn't.

It's not that well at all.

Okay.

It's Jesus.

It's a good turn.

Okay.

When you get sad, do you just ride your BMX around the house?

I do, actually.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's pretty good.

Yeah, it's awesome.

I got three of them.

You do?

Yeah, that's probably three more than I should have.

That's the right amount.

Where do you keep them?

One I keep

the P.O.

I keep a couple in the hallway, and I keep one on the party deck.

You don't have to chop anymore.

Just take back the paper.

He's prying a little too much, Dave Hill.

I'm sorry.

Got him out.

You just, Gareth,

you just let him say party deck, and you didn't even

know.

He said party deck.

I think he's got it coming.

I do, but it's.

But when I go out there, I'm partying.

So you don't understand that Dave is the party.

That's not a joke.

Low-grade party.

That I know.

There's my peach cheese.

It's fun, though.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

No questions.

This is out of Riverside, California.

A man arrested for questioning in connection with the slaying of Ruth Muir at La Holla escaped from a deputy sheriff today after striking the officer in the head.

Well, you should get to.

If you hit a cop in the head, you should get to.

That officer should have stopped resisting.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Wait, so run this by me again.

So a man was arrested for questioning in connection with.

I was working on my expressions.

Yeah,

we got those.

So now it's you lock back in the yeah yeah we got those yeah let's do it time to put on your listening

clip okay

keep your eyes open when do it yeah there you go what what the hell kind of show is this you can use

well we get we already got i don't want to keep it we already have a couple of those so just do you know what i'm saying okay right right yeah yeah okay

A man arrested for questioning in connection with the slaying of Ruth Muir at La Halla escaped from a deputy sheriff today after striking the officer in the head.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah, he hit a cop in the head.

The man fled to a nearby field.

That's where you go.

Which was everywhere back then.

You get in a field.

You go to the field.

You hide it.

And you hide among the stuff in the field.

Yep.

And the line of officers was hastily thrown around the district.

That seems like they're not understanding how to deal with the field situation.

Well, that's what makes the field so confusing.

You know?

It feels like a field is like the worst place to go because they could just see you.

But then at the same time, now the cops are just fanning out all over the district.

A field seems safe.

Does it?

Yeah.

Yes.

I mean, to me.

Yeah.

Because you can't, you know, you could fake people out in the field.

I'm also picturing a high, high field.

I'm picturing

high growth.

Oh, you're picturing, okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, because this is pre-lawnmower era.

Right.

Yeah, they had an embedded cutting back then.

Everything was grown.

That was weak size.

Yeah, that was ages away.

The suspect was arrested by Deputy Sheriff Walter Sibley, who placed him unhandcuffed in his automobile and started to turn his car around.

And the man hit Shelby, Sibley, who was off guard and opened the door of the car.

So basically, there's a lot of words in this, but the cop didn't cuff him.

And so,

it's the shade too because

this could have changed the trajectory.

Like, we could have been dealing with less aggressive cop, like, you know, putting people, we could have had an uncuffed arrest society, which would have been great, but this guy kind of ruined it for everybody.

This guy's the shoe bomber of police cuffings.

It's like now one guy fucks up, and now

it's got to be a whole thing.

Thank you.

Sam Anthony, I don't care for your long story.

Yeah, I'm not really buying the.

Yeah.

Not a lot of people doing shoe bomber stuff on a history paper podcast.

Sibley reported that he drew his gun and struck the man on the head.

Did they have a piece of paper and pen?

Like that, Dave.

You just feel free to do that.

Go ahead, Dave.

Yeah, just, yeah.

Just if you got it, go.

Let it rip.

Yeah, let it rip.

Yeah.

Go ahead, Dave, Anthony.

Go ahead.

Sibley reported that guy.

No, sorry.

That doesn't make as much sense.

Like, that is like.

Yeah, that didn't make as much sense.

That was just a general.

I just did that so you could drop that anywhere.

No, no, we're just

more specific.

We got the clip.

All right, so you're saying I should react to things that you say and not just have things that you can use.

That's whatever you want.

Start kind of locking into what's happening.

I mean, again,

we've got eight clips of you.

They're great.

All right.

That's implausible.

Sorry, I'm doing it again.

And that wasn't even good, to be honest.

No, no, that wasn't.

Yeah, you could also wait until I started talking.

That was for the NPR version.

Yeah, right.

That's good to have.

All right.

Okay.

Sabley reported that he drew his gun and struck the man on the head.

Did he have a piece of paper?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Go ahead, Dave.

With the butt of the weapon, but in spite of the injury, the man escaped.

Yeah, you never go butt.

No.

You got to

side-swipe him, you know.

Maybe on an anniversary.

You know, the other thing is you could also shoot him.

Yeah,

if you want to keep him, you go butt.

But Butts for a honeymoon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

Or a parking garage.

I'm sorry, I've revealed too much.

I'm so sorry.

I don't know why that is so horrible.

The visual is just horrible.

Yeah, it's just a really,

seems like a bad time for it to be.

Not that there's ever a great time, but that seems particularly wrong.

Yeah, I don't know.

Every time you go into a parking garage, you look over.

Yeah, you gotta be careful.

Think of what I'm thinking?

No.

You just want to go shopping?

Yes.

Oh, boy.

Officer said the suspect.

Did I pay for the ticket now?

You want to go to the car?

Just pay for it now.

Officer said the suspect answered the general description of a man who told an Ontario rancher that he had seen the killer of Miss Muir.

Miss Muir was general secretary of the YWCA here and was prominent in civic affairs.

So she deserved it.

That's what I'm hearing.

I don't think that's right.

No, I don't think that's a cop sign either.

I think so.

No, why?

Because the YWCA?

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah.

Why didn't they ever make a like female village people?

I think that would have done well.

How does my conversation work on this show?

Is it not good?

It feels

picturing it.

Okay, yeah.

I don't know.

In 1937, there probably weren't a lot of job options for the women to be in

the outfit, I guess.

Feels like we're not taking the

did you bring up did you bring up

fashion there for a sec?

Not really, but go ahead.

Women with small waistline to benefit by newest styles.

Oh, God.

Oh, okay.

Oh, that's good.

It's the woman with the small waistline who will benefit by the new styles from Paris.

That is the opinion of Miss Carmel Snow, magazine editor, Bronze College.

Carmel Snow.

Yeah.

That's a good name, right?

Yeah.

I mean, not to, you know, not to pile onto the female village people, but that's the.

There we go.

That's the

band name or one of the members' names, Carmel Snow.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

She's like an Adidarod woman.

Go ahead, Dave.

Brought back from the fashion shows of the French capital yesterday.

As for Stud women.

It's so funny that anorexia is in for women finally.

And it's come from Paris.

As for stud women, they will simply have to diet, exercise, or be corseted.

But there is nothing uncomfortable about the new corsets.

There's nothing uncomfortable about the new corset.

After Fashion Week will come to the determination that women should not be eating and will be drinking diuretics.

That's it.

That's the story.

Well, it's pretty bad.

Wait, why did they throw in that the new corsets are not uncomfortable?

Clearly,

they're just running defense there.

Yeah, they're creating corsets.

She's probably just trying to get people to buy it, right?

The new ones and be like, yeah, these ones don't hurt.

And then you do it and you're like, oh, God.

Then your organ failure.

But the pictures.

The pictures tell you.

Oh, the pictures.

Oh, the pictures.

But the thing about the organ failure thing,

the thing about the organ failure is then they remove an organ and you're skinnier.

So when your organ fails, it's all positive.

This is true.

No one loses.

Right.

It's really a fat fail.

If you think about it.

If you really do.

Yeah.

I'm still stuck on the parking garage.

Please get over there as soon as possible.

I keep going back to the club.

That's not the clip.

I'm still back there.

That's not the clip.

Mentally.

No, no.

Get out of there.

That's bonus.

That's Patreon content.

That's big Patreon stuff.

Yeah.

So, Dave, what happened to the parking garage?

Oh, that was the.

Don't answer.

No, no, that's for the Patreon.

Yeah.

That was close.

We are brought to you by Factor.

Factor, Dave.

Factor, of course,

it's a meal plan.

It's a two-minute meal that you can heat up

right there in your house.

Or wherever you are.

Or wherever you are, Dave, because I will tell you,

you are making it seem like you can't do it other places.

I took a bunch of factor meals on the road with me, and it was the greatest decision I've made.

Yeah.

Because you're eating healthy.

It's hard to eat healthy on the road, so you got that option.

They're so good.

They are so good.

They're really good.

They're really good.

They are so good.

Luke and I heated a couple up in the hotel, and then we both were just sitting there like, this is the greatest.

Yeah.

It's so good.

I had a poblano potato and white bean stew.

What?

Yeah.

Poblano?

That sounds really good.

It was delicious.

Can I have some?

And I had a tamale cake.

I already ate it.

Are you listening to me?

Well, it feels like you're leaving me out.

What do you want to?

What are you talking about?

Kareth, I had the red wine mushroom and chicken fusili, which is a pasta for those people that don't know what pastas are.

Yeah.

And it tasty.

It's tasty.

It's really good.

People love it.

I eat it.

You eat it.

I took all the juices with me this last trip, too.

Unbelievable.

They have 45 menu options a week, which is awesome to choose from.

That's a lot.

You can do Calorie Smart.

You can do Protein Plus, Keto.

There's tons of different options you can do.

They got breakfast, they got on-the-go lunches, dinners, guilt-free snacks, desserts, and Garrett says, juices, which he likes to pour all over himself.

No, no, no, I drank them.

Come on now.

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This is just a little blurb.

When an ice cream truck caught fire recently in L Street, England, a ton of ice cream was melted.

So this is like a kid's paper?

You can see.

Well, it's factual, isn't it?

Is that there's more to the story, right?

Or is that just

a whole story is that ice cream truck caught fire and it melted.

The The ice cream.

I need more.

That was the one.

That's the hottest story.

That's like it rained and people got wet.

Yeah.

It's a little different.

It's a little different.

It's a little different.

I would just say because water comes from the sky.

Yeah, but I mean, like, I don't know.

How did the fire, how did the ice cream truck get in that situation?

I assume the answer.

I assume the ice cream did it.

Ice cream sparks.

It does.

Yeah, those little

bits.

That's why you keep it in a freezer.

Oh, yeah, where you put when like pop rock ice cream.

Thank you.

Yup.

Yeah.

Here's another blurb.

A man who broke into a tavern at Montville, New Jersey ate and drank so much he was asleep when police arrived to arrest him.

Wow.

Can't stay mad at him.

Yeah,

that's the story of a hero.

He did, but he's supposed to be assed out.

They just showed up and they put a little little blanket on him.

Yeah, yeah.

He's like a human raccoon.

I love this guy.

This guy's like, I'll show you closing time.

We'll arrest him when he wakes up.

Just fat as fuck.

Chocolate all over his mouth.

Water dumped on communists.

What else is that?

Oh my God.

That makes them shrink and burn, right?

Buckets is in New York.

Buckets of water were emptied on the heads of 1,500 communists and communist sympathizers today as they picketed a luncheon for Julius Dortmuller, director of the German Railroads.

Well,

that'll be best case scenario for the communists of the next 20 years, I'd say.

Yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't go well for him.

The ire of the picket line, which held up lower Broadway traffic for more than an hour, was aroused when someone in a nearby building leaned out the window and shouted, We want Hitler and Mussolini.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Oh, God.

It's too real.

Wow.

Too real.

Oh, God.

The more things change.

That's kind of exactly what's happening today.

That is

exactly what is happening.

And it's still, it's like the people getting mad at the people stopping

the traffic when you're like it's gonna be way worse.

It's like I am 15 minutes late for an event

You're go to El Salvador

Here's a story for Gareth Hen asleep on fast car There we go.

I love it.

Is there more?

There we go.

There's got to be more right better not be thankfully

I love that uh this is out of Harrismith Orange Free State.

What the fuck?

You remember that.

I've been to Harris.

They've got a chuckle hut there.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's a great zone.

Claims to possess.

Harris Smith claims to possess the fastest hen in the world.

That's a fucking big claim.

That guy can fuck off.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

No.

I'm just giving you another clip.

I'll be honest, that one's back in the running.

I don't think we need any more, but that one's pretty good.

That was genuine disdain.

Yeah.

Sarrell Joubert, a bartender, sorry, a barber, was in a hurry, and he jumped into a car, stepped on the accelerator, and accomplished his journey at an average speed of about 50 miles an hour.

Whoa.

When he reached his 30s, whoa!

Yeah, when he reached his destination, he was surprised to see that everyone was laughing.

He walked to the front of his car and standing on the bumper on one leg was a hen, fast asleep.

So he's claiming it's the fastest hen?

The paper is.

Oh, the paper is.

Using the same logic, the man himself would be the fastest man also.

It doesn't.

Wow.

They can fuck off.

You really kind of hit your threshold for a lot of the bullshit.

I think he really appreciates it.

I think he's he's right on this one.

I think he's right too, but it's he's like, what I like is he's like an angry Randy Rooney.

He's just not happy with today's news.

I've often often been called that.

Angry Rooney.

The only really serious trouble developing during, there's no headline.

The only really serious trouble developing during President Roosevelt's drought trip was on the question of snoring.

It seems that three eminent exponents of the art of snoring

exponents of the art of snoring allowed nearly broke up the trip.

They were in Mr.

Roosevelt's ratoon, and when they reached the small hotel bedrooms in the drought regions, they became a major problem.

All right, so guys are

slipping the same.

I assume that they're on a

train.

That's what I thought.

Yeah, that's what it seems like.

There's a hen on there.

That could be big.

So it's like,

boom.

It's like when Gareth did

Burt Kreischer's.

You got kicked off Burt Kreischer's bus for snoring, did you not?

No, I did not.

That's fine.

Are you a snorer?

No, I am.

Yeah, he's a snorer.

He's a terrible snorer.

No, I'm not.

You're lying.

I don't know.

It sounds like you might be.

I am.

It's not nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm warming up.

I don't think anything to be ashamed of it, but it's not something that I am.

I have a CPAP machine.

It's in the next room.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Three BMXs and a CPAP.

You're doing pretty good over there.

Yeah.

Got a bunch of sick guitars.

Everything's going my way.

I did not know you had a C-Pap.

How many hockey jerseys do you own?

Probably like 50.

Wow.

Dude, before you go to bed and put your CPAP on, do you ever look at your girlfriend and go, you want to know the difference between you and me?

I make this look good and put it on.

You're out of my...

Well, I've taken to wearing like a winter hat or like some sort of head covering with it.

That's an interesting look.

That's of interesting.

That's interesting bedtime.

Well, sleeping.

What I realized, I had started wearing it and I realized it was ripping my hair out.

Oh,

really?

And then I googled it.

I was like, CPAP machine, ripping hair out.

And then there's just pages and pages of, oh, yeah, it rips your hair out.

Did anyone?

Anyone in there suggest the winner hat?

Or that feels like a Dave Hill solution?

That was a Dave Hill solution.

I mean, I bought some, like, some other sort of, I got a different mask.

But basically, I mean, you know me.

I mean, my hair is like top five amazing things about me.

Yeah.

It makes a lot of lists.

But I was like, I don't mind if I'm going natural hair loss, but this was like some fucking mask ripping my hair out.

So now I do that.

So it's crazy.

It's crazy.

It sounds crazy.

It really is.

It's like waking up in a chilly ER.

I'm picturing you in an old-timey.

Scrooge like sleeping hat.

It's not far off.

If you have to go to the chamber pot in the night, do you hold a candle and look a little freaked out?

Yeah, and I sort of

take like kind of high steps

to scamper about.

You see your own shadow get a little

mice.

Are you visited by three ghosts at all?

Oh, hellhounds mostly.

And Dave, your P.O.

box is just when you pull a book off your bookshelf and it opens to a tiny room in the back, right?

That's basically it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Just wanted to say that.

Yeah.

And there's the mice in my apartment have fully furnished apartments with miniature.

Yep.

Obviously.

Yep.

Okay.

Good.

All right.

Well, I think we got a read on that finally.

There's anyone listening finally has closure on that sort of stuff.

Yeah, yeah, which is great.

Which is great.

But I also wanted to say if you listen closely to

the mouse couple,

they're acting out scenes from the honeymooners, but like in Mouse.

like.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It's so funny how that show was about abuse.

Yeah, it was an abusive man.

Yeah, he just likes to hit his woman.

And I think that's cool.

It's pretty great.

That's great.

Yeah.

It'll be rebooted soon, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah.

So, Director.

Because it was funny.

Yeah, it still is funny.

Yeah.

Director Morris Cook of the Rural Electrification Administration sought

to harmonize arrangements by bunking two rural sopranos together, but this did not work.

Rural Electrification Administration?

That's right.

They were electrifying the rurals.

That sounds like

a kind of twee indie rock band.

Yeah.

You do it.

opening for the national.

Interesting.

He does.

Yeah.

This is what I'm saying.

He's he's a rock star.

He is a rock star.

Got a dragon.

I got a dragon.

It's not even my first one.

Jesus Christ.

How many dragons?

Got like nine of them.

Dave, Dave.

This is big for us.

This is big for us.

You're like Iron Maiden.

One man, Iron Maiden.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

Both complained that the other was disturbing his slumber, and the third, who was a bass, was lonely without accompaniment.

And Roosevelt solved the problem by sending all three men home.

Oh, so he just kicked off the bus.

So three guys got kicked off the tour because they snored too much, which is why I bring up you and the Bert Kreischer bus.

I didn't know.

You got kicked off the bus for snoring.

What are you doing?

What is this?

What do you mean?

I finished the tour out like everyone else, and then I went home, and there was no talk of snoring issues at all.

Well,

you could hook up a CPAP machine on the bus.

I don't need it.

I'm sounding like my dad.

My dad is obsessed with CPAP machines.

He'll shoehorn them into any conversation.

Does he have one?

Yeah.

That's how I wound up getting it.

I don't like it.

He said, shut him up.

Yeah, okay.

He just took one of his old ones like a hammer.

He's like, fine.

Yeah.

It's a mouth-me-down.

It's the one he used in college.

Oh, that's cute.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Fishermen in Morton Bay, Australia, recently netted 36 new species of oyster-eating fish, which, like others of their kind, stand on their heads to eat with tails upward and clear of the water.

What?

There's no, that's not.

What are you talking about?

I call it.

That can't be real.

I'm yelling at you.

That's not a real story.

That's totally fine.

I've got 36 new kinds of fish that it'll be their oyster eaters and all of them they stand on their heads like specklers

look at this guy

he loves them

standing on his head

what is he talking about

nobody corroborating how could they open the oysters just didn't seem that's a good question there's a bunch of good questions yeah that's like one of the main ones that's a great one i'm not trying to downplay how good that question was and i want to be super clear about that.

So AI is saying that...

Oh, fuck that.

Another clip.

I hate to say it.

I'm back on the clip train.

This guy's just a clip machine.

AI is saying that fish do not stand on their head with their tails in the air and eat or shit.

Yeah, no shit.

But AI is wrong 50% of the time.

So there's a 50% chance that it's true.

AI didn't tell me it was wrong 50% of the time.

Oh, so like the definition of fish in 1936 was really broad.

You could throw

Italians were fish.

Yeah, yeah.

If it went in the water, it was a fish back then.

Yeah, like an Italian.

Yeah.

They're quite aquatic.

Oh, yeah.

Anyone will tell you that.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, that's still true.

I feel like if fish did do that, that Gareth would know because he's

definitely don't.

He watches all kinds of animal documentaries and whatnot.

So you would.

They don't, right?

They don't.

Like, you would be on that tip.

If I didn't know about it, I would be looking into it shortly thereafter.

Like recently, when I easily identified a star-nosed mole

anecdotally

in the real world.

And I was like, oh, it's a star-nosed.

Where?

What's going on?

A star-nosed mole in a yard.

You saw one?

Out in the...

Yeah.

Where?

Was it out of its molehole?

It was out of its molehole and it was scampering about.

No, it had gone.

No, it was killed.

It had been killed.

No, no, you don't need to condolence me.

No, you hate to see those guys go.

Well, yeah, but that's really the point.

The point of that is not that.

An animal, another animal killed it.

Another mole?

Was a mole?

I have very little information

outside of the fact that it was a star-nosed mole.

Did you call the police?

No, no, it's a mole.

No, I shouldn't have.

I should not have.

So let's not alarm.

So a mole's life is not valuable to you.

It matters, but I don't think I want the police over there.

Well, it would have been like a little gopher policeman.

I don't know how to get in touch with.

Yeah, no, I don't know how to get a little bit of a touch.

Mole cops.

He's got a hat.

He's got the hat.

He's got the badge.

A little vest.

Yeah, he shows up.

He's like two weeks away from retirement.

What this gopher cop is?

Yeah, yeah.

He and his wife were, they were going to travel.

And he comes over and he's like, ah, shit, I caught another one.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

The chiefs sent him out.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

Yeah.

Well, no, but it was just, it was a starter.

No, anyway.

So, yeah, that was pretty much.

So a starter.

Is that the cops?

He was part of the gang.

It's the gopher.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, no,

and the gopher police in my mind, they don't drive.

All right.

I'm not really, I'm not here to kind of, you know, figure out what those gopher police mean to you two guys.

So it's just a fun image, yeah.

No, it's not, I'm not pushing back that there's a fun image, and I love fun.

Yeah, no, he's like writing down on a little paper.

Okay, tell me what happened again, but he, you know,

because it was

because it was what they can't hold pens, they can't hold pens.

So, why would he have

crazy to have one?

Some of the other, yeah, there's a lot of things that don't make sense, right?

It's just especially, it's I'm not going to keep, let's move forward into the paper.

So, you're like an ACAB guy, you're like an all-cops or bastards guy.

That's who you are.

That's not even what I'm saying.

I'm just saying I wouldn't call gopher police because I don't have their number and it was also a mole.

Yeah, but it's not.

Nobody should look as confused as you two do right now.

Well, it's weird that you're just thinking like murder's okay.

You don't solve them.

I don't think murder is okay.

I just think a star-nosed mole,

a star-nosed mole rat, that's what it looks like.

Let's see.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

You didn't even like, oh, you didn't even look around for like a weapon, like a mini.

Want a weapon.

Right.

What a weapon.

Another animal killed it.

It's nature.

We're not going to do this.

Let's push forward in the paper.

So if a person kills another person.

We're not following up.

Don't follow up with anything else.

We're not following up.

Huh?

So if a person kills another person, is that also not murder?

Because we're having...

I'm a human.

Yeah, I'm a little more biased than what actions I will take at that point.

I don't think if I called the cops, even if they were gopher cops over a dead molten.

That's the gopher job.

I don't think,

I don't understand

much of what's happening.

See all underground crime.

You are living in like Zootopia world.

Aren't we all, though?

No.

Wait, Zootopia, that was the.

Don't

go ahead.

No.

You too album.

no

no

this next one's off of zootopia

there's some really good gopher songs on that album

oh yeah

uh

well here's something that'll make gareth happy fisherman dies in snake river yeah i love snake river by the way also where would a love would have fish i don't know why that's for me is that in colorado it's a lot of uh wyoming wyoming yeah yeah.

Yeah, it's in a couple states.

It's spreading.

It's a long winding river.

Yeah.

Yeah, it keeps spreading.

It's a beautiful river.

Oh, yeah.

Stanley Drage

in Salt Lake City drowned Sunday when he slipped into

Snake River Rapids near this western community while fighting a hooked fish.

That's any fish that's just been caught.

Yeah, hooked fish.

Yeah, that's what it means.

Wait, he was fighting the.

He was trying to reel in a fish.

Reel it in.

He was hooked.

Yeah.

Or fighting it.

He could have taken out of the water and was like literally fisticucking.

And when he fell in, his buddy looked to his other buddy and went, this just got real.

Yes.

I'm so back.

Gordon.

It could have been the kids from the first thing with the boat.

Oh, yeah, the kids who made the beauty queen mom get all wet.

What was that story about?

I forget.

I thought it was about the footlight.

The footless lady.

The The footless lady.

Yeah, the lady who's hot from the ankles up, but the rest is gone.

Like Paul McCartney's third wife.

Jesus.

Bridget.

Jesus Christ.

She turned out to be horrible, too.

I know.

That's why I wasn't afraid to take shots at her.

Go.

Yeah.

Gordon Hebler, also of Salt Lake City, nearly lost his life in a rescue attempt, but was pulled ashore by his brother.

Drake's body was never recovered.

So he died in the river and that was it.

Now he's fish fruit.

But this is bullshit.

That's just a soundbite.

That's not me.

That's not me responding to what you said.

I just wanted to give you another clip to it.

15 in the clip machine.

Where do you guys come up with this stuff?

This is gabbit!

It's literally, it's

actual papers that we're reading.

New gas wholesaler, a device

clip.

i realize it's real papers i just wanted you to no we get that did you just say gas hole

be did you just say gas hole yeah no i said gas wholesaler you did say oh that's completely different completely different a device that should make the most unruly mob say uncle is is a new machine gun that hurls gas shells instead of bullets oh my god there's a lot of crazy shit in very few words there.

Oh, cool.

What's a gas shell?

It's a shell with gas.

I'm not an idiot.

I don't know.

What is it?

It's an exploding.

Yeah, it's an exploding shell.

So you're shooting

a gas going to explode when it gets.

Why don't we?

I like that.

I don't think you will in the long run.

I don't think you would.

Yeah, I don't think you're going to like.

I think soon enough you will be like, that's a shame.

Yeah, we shouldn't do that.

All right.

Well, I don't know.

If you're going to do it.

Police Captain J.W.

Johnson of Everett, Washington is pictured just before he pulled the trigger of the Manville gas machine gun in a demonstration at the National Rifle matches at Camp Perry.

Yeah, he's holding a very large machine gun.

Oh, wow.

And then what happened?

Well, we know.

It's not coincidentally an Everett, because Everett was the place where they shot, they had a shootout with

union guys.

So I don't think it's a coincidence that they invited this gentleman to shoot you.

Fucking unions fuck everything up.

Oh my God.

It's so annoying with your needs.

Yeah, no, you're right.

All right, well, let's read this about a

dying dog.

Dog perishes trying to rescue.

Yeah.

Gareth asked for it.

He got it.

He doesn't care about animal murders, so let's do this.

Trotting on a leash besides its master, a black retriever died trying to rescue an old man who started across the railway tracks in front of an onrushing train.

A passerby gave a warning shout, and the dog raced forward, caught the man's coat in his teeth, and tried to pull him back.

Both the man and the dog were crushed under the wheels.

Ah, for fuck's sake.

Oh, no.

Let the guy go.

Good lord.

That guy.

Seriously, fuck that guy.

A thousand percent.

Yes, that guy sucks.

That guy.

Look, I'm sorry that that guy was probably trying to take his own life.

He was probably, but dog.

If a dog, if I

would be like, I'm not going out killing a dog, too.

I would pretend to get saved or something.

You don't let the fucking dog do that.

When I die, I'd let my dogs buried with me.

Alive or dead.

Don't do that.

It's just a crazy way to end.

I'm pretty sure they won't.

We can do another one here.

How about this one?

Dog waits patiently for his master.

Oh, wait, we're back.

What a good boy.

Different.

Identified only as Bob, a name scratched on his collar.

A mongrel dog of reddish-brown color waited all night at the courthouse steps for the return of his master or mistress, who were evidently among the scores of California marriage license.

Marriage license seekers who invaded the courthouse yesterday.

Oh, wow.

I love it.

It's better.

I'm not going to lie.

I'm still upset about the dog who got hit by the train because

I'm not thrilled with that.

But I do like the dog, the dog that's waiting outside with a bow tie.

He's waiting for the people to get.

We can only assume.

Yes.

A bow tie.

He had like a ring.

He's got a ring on a

little pillow.

In his paw.

Yeah, in his paw.

Waiting for the couple to go to the parking garage, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, and just blood dripping from his face.

No, different visions.

Oh, man.

Different visions.

The dog was still on the steps early today and refused to enter the courthouse, although he never took his eyes off the door.

County clerk and Mrs.

Beamer fed him this morning and provided a pan of water for him.

They were hoping that his newly wedded owner will remember and return to the courthouse.

Jesus Christ.

This is another bad story.

This is another fucking dog bullshit story, you asshole.

Wait, what happened?

The guy abandoned his dog.

He forgot that his dog came and then he brought his dog to live with him.

This guy left his fucking dog.

God.

Christ.

I like how Dave was like, here's a happy one.

Well, I'm sure it worked out.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure it worked out.

Oh, I actually missed the bottom of this.

And the owner came back, and everyone's fine.

There it is.

Oh,

man.

Fucking cry, babies.

All right.

You know what?

Screw you.

Well, Dave Hill,

you are a clip machine

for the socials.

And I don't even know what we're going to do with all this.

I was not expecting that one.

That's another.

That's real good, too.

I'm going to do one right now.

Oh, I'll tell you what, if that was me, I'd be like, I could get used to this.

Okay, so now we got a bunch of them.

Dave Anthony, you want to do one?

No.

All right.

Well, Dave, thanks for joining us.

I'm in love.

Look, things are so good.

You have many guitars.

You have multiple BMXs.

It seems like an embarrassment of CPAP machines you have over there.

I do, yeah.

You're wearing hats to bed.

You're doing tons of shows.

And is your web, what is your website?

I'm glad you asked.

Thank you.

DavehillOnline.com.

Oh, my Instagram is at MrDave Hill at MR Dave Hill.

Okay.

Thanks.

So follow Dave.

He's truly the funniest.

And come on.

Very quickly, Dave and I were one time at a festival together, and we used to have this bit where every time Dave would try to drink his beer, I would stop him and I'd be like, no, like he wasn't allowed to drink or something.

We were in a bar once and he kept doing it and I kept going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And eventually this bartender goes, stop telling him not to drink the beer.

He was so irritated with that.

It was, but oh, it was fun.

Yeah.

I think that was at the Doug Fir at

Portland.

Yeah, it was Portland.

Yeah, I remember.

Well, Dave, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you for having me.

I'm sorry I was late.

I'm done.

I'm apologizing.

Stop.

No more.

But it's good.

Yeah, no more.

All right, hopefully I see you guys in person.

Not going to happen.

We got to go.

I would like that.

I don't know.

Thanks so much, Dave.

Thank you.

Some of these days,

you'll miss me, honey.

Some of these days.

Hey, dollop fans.

I know you love the dollop.

You love listening to the dollop.

Do you want to watch the dollop?

You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about?

By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth.

Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes.

So if you want to go watch a five-parter animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of The Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of The Rube.

It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it.

And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them.

We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.

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