Guardian S2E6 (April 4, 2006)

This is Audible.

Hello, welcome to number six, the final episode in this season two of the Ricky Gervais show with me, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Carl Pilkington.

You can still go and get the archive, all 18 episodes we've done so far.

That's available on iTunes and audible.co.uk.

And there's a little video diary we've done, a little free podcast.

We may go into free podcasting, but in video, Steve, and there's a little free taster up there.

So check that out.

Go to rickiesrays.com to find out all news and everything.

But come on, let's get on with this episode.

We're here and now.

This is right, yeah, absolutely.

Here we are.

Good.

Carl, go.

I've got some bad news to start off with straight away.

The world's oldest tortoise, a 250-year-old tortoise, died

last week.

Did it?

Yeah, in a zoo in India.

250 years old.

So would that have had that thing that they say about how you get a flashback of your life?

You mean your life flashes before your eyes?

Yeah, they say, don't they?

Just like on your last breath or whatever.

You see you coming out of the womb and everything.

Well,

well, one, I don't believe that's true.

I don't believe your life flashes before before you.

I don't know what evidence we've got.

People who die, say, you know, you never guess what's happening.

No, but there's there's loads of things that have happened where people go, Oh, that's that's weird.

That's that goes to show that we've been around before.

No, it doesn't.

There's none.

I have no evidence for that.

Well, I told you that time when it happened to me when I was younger.

Go on.

Your life flashed before your eyes.

Well, it wasn't like a flashback, but it was close.

It's the next thing next to flashbacks.

It was um I was having a bath, right?

And uh my mum had like run the bath and that, and she said,

is that too warm?

And I said something like, no, it's alright, this, it's a lot better than when I used to have a bath in that wooden bath in front of the fire.

And she was like, what?

And I said, you know, it happened years ago.

And she was a bit like, oh.

And I can't remember that now.

But she talks about it.

And, you know, that just goes to show that.

Because I was at an age when I wouldn't have known about wooden baths years ago in front of the fire.

No, but you talk rubbish now.

So all you were doing, you were talking rubbish from an early age.

Where's the problem?

No, but you can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge.

Well, you didn't know about wooden baths, so why would I have been talking about that?

But Carl, you've only got your mother's word on this, and she thought you might one day be a doctor.

She put a rock with a feather on it to keep a parrot company.

Lest we forget.

Yeah, but I'm just saying.

Wow, it's all bollocks.

So some of you researchers, you've tried to find out when little Karl Mark won and his wooden bath when he was young.

No, I don't want to to go there because that's when you start digging out all sorts of things.

It's rubble, isn't it?

It's rubbish.

No, it's not rubbish.

Well, what sort of stuff was that?

There's no scientific evidence.

No, just like I've said about family trees and that, don't be looking at them, because you're only going to find stuff you don't really want to know about.

It's the same as that, innit?

Leave it.

Let it be.

Do you know what I mean?

If your granddad was Einstein, you'd know about it because your family would be shouting about it.

If he was a bad one, you go, oh, keep that quiet.

So don't look at family trees, and it's the same, don't be looking back in your past lives.

Because God knows what you've been

Well,

Carl in the wooden bath, proof if Carl.

But this tortoise, so if that's and also its flashbacks would just be you know, the same wall.

I mean, it basically spent

I don't know how many years in a cage.

It was in the zoo, so uh it died of liver failure,

which is a problem if you're a tortoise because with us they can cut you open and have a look at the liver.

With that, it's going, forget it, we're not getting in there.

It's like you where you didn't want the plumbers to knock through the tiles to check out the piping.

It's remembering the tortoise.

If it's a liver, we're not going through that.

It's not worth it.

If it's your head or your feet, we'll have a look, mate.

But we're not looking at internal organs with a giant tortoise.

Why not?

'Cause what do you mean?

Can't you drill into those things?

It's only it is only a shell.

That is easier to replace than than skin.

Carl, I was joking.

You can't do a liver operation on a tortoise.

Why not?

It's got all the same parts, on it.

All the same body parts on that.

Well,

that's the point.

Well, not really.

Oh, yeah, it's but books.

It's better ones in a way,'cause they live longer.

So they're doing something right,

aren't they?

If they can live two hundred and fifty odd years,

our our art can't do that.

Which is what I say about our tortoise has got it right in a way, that it's it's taking its time on everything.

We're rushing about, getting stressed out.

That's just, you know, getting on with it, it's not rushing.

It eats healthy, doesn't it?

It eats lettuce and stuff.

So that's probably doing it right, but to be honest, it's too much.

I wouldn't want to live 250 years.

Just eating lettuce.

Let's not forget that all a tortoise does is eat lettuce.

It's not like it's jet skiing weekends and then getting its lettuce on a Monday.

That's all it does is eat lettuce.

And that appeals to you, does it?

No, I'm just saying that it must be doing something right, though.

Of course it's doing something right.

Because it's living 250 years.

But all animals do something right, however long they live.

Mayflies live a day, but they're doing something at right.

Well,

they haven't got a chance to learn how to do it right, and then they're dead.

You know, that's from one extreme to another, isn't it?

That just seems a bit mental to me, that living a day.

I wouldn't bother, so I forget it.

Could you be bothered?

You don't just as you get to know someone

another mayfly.

Yeah, but I'm just saying if we had that, if that's how we lived our lives, you wouldn't have a chance to make a mark or anything, would you?

It's just

would you try and pack a lot in that day?

Disneyland, whatever.

No, I prefer to make it miserable so I don't miss it.

If you know what I mean.

But I was thinking the other day about

your body and everything, because it is amazing, isn't it?

How it works.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Does the brain

control you, or are you controlling the brain?

I don't know if I'm in in charge of mine.

Nor do I.

That was a surprise.

Nor do I.

Do you know what I mean, though, by that?

Does the brain control you or do you control yourself?

Don't you ever sort of think sometimes?

Say if you're making.

No, no, but I was making a shopping list, right?

Going, right, I need some rice, kidney beans.

And I thought I had everything, and I sort of was rolling up the paper, and then something went, oh, an onion.

Something went, an onion, Was it Susan?

Well, my brain sort of went, you forgot something.

Yeah.

I didn't think I'd forgot.

I was in the bottom of the body.

No, no, you are your brain.

No, no, but don't you understand?

The brain, my brain,

I was in control of my brain

when I was writing down rice and kidney beans.

But you're not in charge of the onion.

That's another part of the brain that's in charge of the onion.

Onion, the onion.

Sector.

No, but I put the paper away, putting my coat on, ready to go.

Ready to go and get the rice.

Yes, but your onion lobe kicks in.

Well, so you've got the paper in your pocket, you've got the coat on, then you just suddenly hear

the onion.

Yeah, I'm not even thinking about that shopping list.

It's in my pocket, I'm thinking, do I need my gloves?

It's cold out.

Suddenly, onion.

And it was like, oh yeah, onion, yeah, I had to get the paper out.

So what I'm saying is,

who's in charge?

The brain.

The brain, the mind.

The brain is the brain.

What are you doing?

Who's in charge?

You forgot the onion and then you remember the onion.

You must have forgotten things in the past.

No, but not like that.

Not where like it just made me think, that was weird.

Who who reminded me of that?

You did.

But I'm not.

No, you are your brain.

It's not like there's you, then there's a brain, then there's an extra one looking down at

the meta-brain, the thing above it.

No, but your brain.

How does your brain work?

You give it information, don't you?

Well, it takes.

Do you mean you give it information?

If I sat in a room with nothing, not feeding it anything, you wouldn't know anything.

No, but there's this thing that there's two you's, it's this thing that there's

Carl and Carl's brain.

Yeah,

there's not a duality in this.

If you go, come on, come on, now think.

That's the brain saying that to itself.

There's not two people in there having an argument, coming, come on, brain.

And the brain's going, oh, don't you, Star, I was thinking then.

And the other thing's going, brain, onion.

And the brain goes, Carl, onion.

You are your brain.

If you are anything,

you are your your mind, your brain, your collection of memories, your personality.

You're not what you look like.

Does that answer your question, Carl?

What do you think then?

You were thinking of a tortoise on a skateboard then when I said that last sentence, weren't you?

I, like you, Rick, I'm always annoyed and embarrassed when we have to concede something to Carl.

And it seems, though, each week I look on the emails that we've got, and once again, someone has found some evidence to support some of the nonsense that Carl has come out with.

Now, you remember we were talking about his concept of putting a giant mirror on the moon because

why should we have to go into space?

Then we could just look up at the moon and we'd see the earth reflected back at us and we'd think, ah, that's the earth.

I can't see myself backing down on how ludicrous this is.

No, indeed.

Although, someone I think they're really being very picky.

They were picking you up on a technical point because I think one of your criticisms was the idea that the moon is moving and thus the mirror would be absent from view for some time.

Although people have been claiming that

there's always the same face of the moon that's shown to us.

There's always the same side of the moon, is always visible to Earth.

That's when they talk about the dark side of the moon.

It's not just light, it's the fact that we can't see it, it's the other side of the moon.

But we move, so it's not always present to someone.

Well, no, but it would always be present to someone on Earth.

Yes, I know.

This is the thing.

These people don't know what I know.

I know that Carl is thinking of looking up there and seeing himself looking back.

That's what he's hoping.

Like when you're going along in a car and you see a shiny building, you go, oh, that's my car.

That's what he's hoping to see.

He's not doing it to gauge the speed of light and change like that.

He's not doing that.

He wants to look up through a telescope and wave.

Yeah.

That's what they don't realise.

I know what he's thinking.

Do you want to respond, Carl?

The problem with the moon is...

Here's a statement.

The problem with the moon is...

Dot dot dot.

The problem with the earth is there's too much water.

No, the moon.

it's been around ages, on it,

but it's got no history, it's got nothing to show for it, just a load of old rocks and stuff.

And for me, history is created

by stuff happening on it.

So, really, the moon, even though it's old, in a way, it's new because it's untouched and that.

But

we don't go to the moon to visit museums

or arcades.

No, but say you say, like

Henry VIII, right?

You watch Antiques Roadshow or whatever, and some woman goes, oh, this plate you've got, this was

Henry VIII's.

And as you can see, you can see the knife marks on it.

Oh, look, there's some chicken on it, right?

And you go, oh, God, yeah, that's amazing.

Then someone goes in and goes, here's a plate of Henry VIII's, but it hasn't been used, it's still in the box.

You'd go, well, it's not as good that.

It's not history.

No, because very often on the Antiques Roadshow, they have Henry VIII's plate with a bit of chicken on it.

They kept that.

Don't throw that away.

Why?

Arthan Egas are like that in a few hundred years' time.

No, but do you understand what I'm saying?

Things are only good if stuff's happened on it.

The moon, you're up there, you're having a look, you're going, no one else has even been here.

But you go to the moon for research purposes, for scientific research.

What do you mean they're nothing there?

They're examining the soil and the environment and the air.

It's just a lot of things.

Well, they're not doing that, are they?

They're just not doing that.

Well, they're not, are they?

Because last time they went up, they were playing golf or something.

There's golf balls up there that they've been whacking about.

What sort of research is that?

That's what I'm saying.

There's nothing up there.

So, why else would you go all that way and go, oh, nothing?

Fancy a knock about

why are they knocking golf balls about if there's really important stuff to look at?

You don't see people in museums going, fancy having a knock, knock some golf balls about now.

I'm looking at this vase.

Oh, right, that's interesting.

But on the moon, nothing, nothing to look at.

What other games have you brought?

That's what I mean.

Carl, have you ever seen the programme Inside the Actor's Studio?

Uh no.

James Lipton interviews famous actors and gets

words of advice about

how they work and how they act.

But at the end, he always asks a series of questions which is based on a French series of questions that a guy called Bernard Pivot used to give people when he interviewed them.

So I'm going to ask you some of these questions.

Many people will be familiar with them.

It's just interesting to see what your response is.

And, you know, answer them quickly.

You don't have to think about them too much.

What is your favourite word?

I don't think I've got a favourite.

Because you only use them when you need to, don't you?

I don't just go about saying the same word.

So,

well, alright.

Yeah, it's not my favourite, it's just that it does the job.

It does the necessary job for that time, doesn't it?

It's like, how are you?

I'm alright.

It's a greeting.

What about um I think serendipity was voted England's favourite word.

Never used it.

No, stupid word.

Who decided that?

Dunno, it was a poll, but I suggest things.

I'm I can't believe people coming up going, um favourite word serendipity.

Thanks for asking.

So

but the thing is, say if it meant, oh, I'm fed up, would it still be the best word?

Is it based on how it sounds and how it's put together or what it means?

I think everything.

But then loads of words are being left out on, you know, which are probably brilliant words, and they're not getting a looking.

Such as?

Well, like that one, fed up.

I'm fed up.

It sums it up, doesn't it?

Well, too, you know.

It just sums it up.

When someone goes, how are you?

You go, I'm fed up, me.

Sick of it.

That's another good one.

Are we getting to it?

Come on, Tom, you're the favourite friend.

I've had enough.

It's just all stuff.

These aren't words.

They're phrases.

They're all negative.

They're all whinging.

These aren't exactly.

These aren't words.

What's your favourite thing?

My favourite thing to do is moan.

Yeah.

That would be very well.

It's not one word.

It's loads of words.

Fed up.

Sick of it.

Ah, that's enough.

Oh, geez.

Whinge should be your favourite word.

Yeah.

Whinge is a good word.

I like NGEs.

Lozene,

whinge, flange.

Yeah.

What is your least favourite word?

It might be serendipity.

That would be up there for me.

I tell you, that would be up there for me.

Probably like French words that have made it into the English thing.

Blancange.

Just words.

There's an núnge.

There's an nunge there.

So

how would you dislike a blancmange?

But just, you know, as if we haven't got enough words in our books.

Go on.

I was thinking about

alphabet, right?

Why have we got that many?

When other countries get by without that many letters in it?

We've got more words than any other language.

Well, but that's'cause we've got more

letters.

Well, I don't know.

So if we've created a headache, I reckon you could at least half it.

Well, you probably could half it.

Well, you only use about half a dozen of them.

No, but stuff like an X, you look at words that have got X in, and they're always words that you go, What does that mean?

How has someone come up with that?

That's how it comes across to me.

And there's loads of big words, it's like dinosaur names.

It's like, well, look, nobody was about when they were knocking about.

So let's make up.

Let's learn that at least.

Let's make up some names for them using the letters that hardly get used.

They've all got Y's and X's in them.

Yeah, they have, yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

It's like, well, let's use it for that.

Yeah.

So you you just it's not so much what is your least favourite word, you just don't really like most of the words.

So just cut down the words.

Stop adding.

Stop adding new words.

I get by I don't know how many words there are in the world, but I reckon I hardly use any of'em.

Well I I'll tell you what, this year's year's word must be podcast.

Yeah, but it's gotta be in the dictionary, and uh, but it's made up, innit?

It wasn't here before, it's just another one.

This is what I'm saying about but what else would you call this?

You know, there is a new concept called podcasting that is a podcast, but it's also broadcast.

We had a word for it, it's still a broadcast, yeah.

But oh, you're a broadcaster.

Oh, what radio station?

No, I don't work on a radio station.

I um I um I do a radio show, but I don't understand what I do a radio show when I upload on I don't understand, it's called a podcast.

Done!

Here's another idea.

Got a new one, get rid of an old one.

Last one in, first one out, whatever.

Do it that way.

That's a good way.

What would you get rid of then?

So we've brought in podcasts this year, but what word would you lose?

Well, uh, what's the name?

Those birds that died out.

Dodos.

Get rid of it.

If the bird's gone, the word can, surely.

It's almost profound.

It's amazing.

It's great.

Oh, God.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?

Learning.

That's a nice answer.

Excellent.

Well, you say that.

Yeah, but

everything you teach me, I take it in.

It's just that sometimes I go,

I don't get it.

But that still counts as far as I'm concerned.

Well, no, it doesn't.

Learning is knowledge is

there must be some sort of attention.

you can't say I've got a great memory for a second you can't say that it has to stay there and then then knowledge has to be you know

applied you can't just have all this knowledge that isn't applicable because it's useless then trivia is useless to a large extent it's not real knowledge because it doesn't really help you in

it practically no but there's a lot of that going on you're always reading stuff that you go I've just read that it's got me thinking for a minute it's not going to help me in any way but it gets a reaction, doesn't it?

Well, that's good, yeah,

that's what art does, and yeah, sometimes education's good for its sake if it really does inflame.

But but then sometimes, like I've said before, you can know too much where it gets you down.

Go on.

I just was reading something about an octopus.

That's that's like a killer octopus.

And it annoyed me that this was knocking about now.

Because I didn't know, I thought they were quite friendly.

Whenever you see them in cartoons and that, they're always happy, aren't they?

And then suddenly, like, they've sort of brought the whole sort of uh creature down.

Do you know what I mean?

No, what do you mean?

Well, just

you know, when you see them in films, they're running about and that, and everybody likes an octopus.

But this one that's on the internet, it was your fault, really, because you told me about that frog that's going about killing people.

No, I didn't say that.

So, I looked it up on the internet at like other creatures and stuff.

And there's

some octopus that's in the sea, uh,

and what it does,

you don't even have to like threaten it, it just spits in the water.

And if that stuff gets on you,

does you in

again?

I'm not

so in a way it's good knowledge because I mean, I don't go in the sea anyway because it's full of stuff like that, but that's just reassured me that I'm doing the right thing.

If they're knocking about just gos in everywhere, uh, you don't even have to be near one.

You don't even know if it's been spitting and stuff.

It can kill you.

It just seems unfair.

I haven't harmed it.

I haven't gone near it.

Why is it getting annoyed with me?

Doesn't seem right.

So that's where a knowledge has not helped that octopus out.

Because now, when you eat them, I just think, yeah, have another one.

Do you know what I mean?

Get rid of them.

Another conversation with himself.

Another conversation with himself

What is your favourite curse word?

Um

I don't I don't think I I do anything like that I just I think people can tell by my face when I'm like fed up.

Well they know you're fed up'cause you're always whinging.

Er

I don't think I've got one.

Uh knob head.

That sums everything up and I think it's but you wouldn't call your nan a knob head, would you?

What would you call a nan?

uh

well she doesn't do anything to annoy me that much?

But if she did, what would you say?

If she really annoyed you, well, knob-eds all right, innit?

Because she'll she'll she sort of gets it.

It's one of them things that everybody understands, but it's not too offensive.

Right.

What a knob-ed.

All right, you're getting into this, aren't you?

So that sums it up, but I don't I don't really do you need one of them.

What's that doing for you?

It's better to think, innit?

Like, okay, I've just slagged off that octopus, but at no point was I effing and jeffing about it.

You know how annoyed I am with it.

I don't have to start swearing about it.

And that's that's what would you do, though, if you were swimming, right?

It was a nice little thing, you're a holiday, right?

And there's this octopus there, and you're going around, right?

And you see it starts spitting at you, poison.

What would you say to that?

Well, it's too late, then, innit?

And I'd kick it

and I'd say, Nobed.

I would, but what's the point?

What's the point in getting annoyed now?

Because

it's done its stuff, on it.

He's kicking

off

under the water.

What is this octopus thinking?

Oh, God.

Okay, you fucking eight-legged shit.

I'm not bothered.

I'm not bothered.

I don't know what you're saying.

Fucking fucking cunt of a mollusk.

Can I just spit at you again?

It's not bothered.

You slimy little fucking boneless wanker.

This is why the face is.

Are you still talking to the octopus?

That's downloadable as a ringtone.

And it's also the jingle for Karl's diary.

Just reading excerpts of Karl's diary.

Went home and looked up Freud on the internet.

Didn't find him that interesting, so looked at some other philosophers instead.

Socrates, Aristotle.

Why have you just listed some philosophers?

Just to show that I'm learning.

Well, that's not learning.

That's just learning their names.

That's a list.

You might as well write one to a hundred.

Yeah, but if someone says, oh, what's your favourite philosopher?

I'll go, hang on a minute, and I've got them written down.

But why have you?

I'll go home, get my enormous diary out.

Yeah, yeah.

Get a wheelbarrow, bring in my workings and say one of the la names I've written down.

And when they say, well, why do you like him?

Yeah, why do you just run away?

I noticed you put Socrates first.

Why is it your favourite philosopher?

You throw the diary at them and leg it.

And then you go on to say, it's weird how names have changed, but then there's no other point there.

It just is, isn't it?

When you think about like Socrates,

I've never heard that on anyone who I know

is what I mean.

It's just, in a way.

But you're not Greek, are you?

But how did that go about back then?

I mean,

say if you were phoning someone up and they said, Uh, I'm booking a table for two, the girl's name, Socrates, did he ever go, Cheers, without going, Can you spell that for me?

But I don't know what the point you're making.

I'm just saying it's it's a name that's awkward, you're always gonna have to go, Can you spell that for me?

You go, and it's not just him, look at all the other names that are on that list.

But they're from a different country and a different era.

Yeah, I know, but the names I have been to Rome and stuff, and you sort of go ancient Rome, just old.

It hasn't changed, has it, Rome.

So it it can be ancient Rome or Rome in 2006.

It's the same buildings.

I used to love Nero going around in his feet at Punto.

Lao Tzu from years ago came up with some good stuff.

One,

he who knows does not speak.

He who speaks does not know.

Not entirely true.

To lead people, walk behind them.

And of course, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

Yeah, did that.

Just favourite.

Maybe this is why people are at the start line spectating at the Commonwealth Games.

Well, I no, it's just that I I've never understood why in Olympics and stuff like that

if you're gonna watch, don't stand around the start line, go to the end where you see the winner.

But because of that saying, it actually makes sense, doesn't it?

It's like, well, every step starts with a step or whatever.

Say it again.

Uh every race, you know, you've got to start with a with with a step.

Yeah.

So, um

uh which is t who am I talking to now, you or your brain?

Well, I was thinking about it a bit, so I think I was in control of it a bit more.

So and what have you come up with?

Just just if you want to stay at the start line, do.

What does that mean?

I'm just saying if if you're into race I'm not I wouldn't watch a race, right?

Okay.

Is this you or your brain I'm talking to now?

This is me.

Okay.

I wouldn't watch

are you gonna are you gonna bring the brain into it or is it there's no I don't know, let's just see what happens.

Okay.

But all I'm saying is, if I was to watch a race,

I wouldn't hang about the start line because

you said you would.

What, did I?

Yeah, you said that's the place to start because every race starts with a step.

No, but I wouldn't normally

watch any race.

My brain definitely hasn't been used yet.

Is this you or your brain you're talking about now?

I'm just saying about me.

If I was on holiday, yeah, and Suzanne said there's a race going on down the road, I'd go, well, let's go keep going down the road and stand at the finish line.

Okay, but now I've got to wazoo, I'd say, well, hang on a minute.

Every race starts with a single step.

How many people are on the start line?

Is there more room there?

She goes, yeah, I'll go, let's go there then.

It's less busy.

Right, and what would you see there then?

I'd see people starting the race, but I wouldn't be that impressed with them because I'd go, well, I don't know if any of these are any good.

So would you start at the start or the end then?

If it was down to me, I'd just probably

stay at the finish line.

Okay, so you wouldn't want to see the first step then.

So what is the name of Lazoo now then?

It's not what but I wrote down three of his.

That one isn't my favourite, that was the third.

I preferred the leading people from behind.

Okay, and what would you do to lead someone now then?

Um well if you're behind, you don't have to take responsibility, do you?

You can go, well I didn't say anywhere, you went there.

That's not really leading them though, is it?

Yeah, because I've made them think.

I've gone uh

they go, Oh, I've just walked into a big hole.

I'd go, Oh, should have been looking where you're going.

I haven't led them in that hole, but they've learnt a lesson.

They won't go in a hole hole again.

That was one of the greatest conversations I've ever been a part of.

I mean, that was incredible.

Never mind Aristotle and Socrates.

That was incredible.

That if someone's out there, could they make a transcript of that?

Because I think that in a thousand years' time, that'd be amazing.

That was incredible, Carl.

And not once was the brain used.

Rockbuster.

That's a jingle there for Rockbusters, the um one of the most hated quizzes in the history of mankind.

Joking, aren't you?

The people loathe it.

Loving it.

That's the last one anyway, so just get over it.

Just do the answers.

Hold on, we can't do another one, though, because we can't give the answers out.

So this just.

Yeah, this is the last one.

It's just the answers for last week for people who are doing it.

Okay.

Well, small mercies.

The first one that I gave you last week was the initials were CK.

Right?

Yeah.

The clue was:

Do you know the songs that you sing at Christmas?

That bloke over there is the best at singing them.

So,

what are the songs you do?

Carol King.

Carol King.

That works.

Fairly well done.

The second one, MG.

I told the homosexual man that the grape tree was mine.

Right?

M.

G.

Gay.

Yeah.

Marvin Gay, obviously.

But how do you get to Marvin?

Was it?

That's my vine, isn't it?

My vine gate.

Yeah.

My vine.

Yeah.

And the last one.

My vine gate.

That's shocking.

It's the last one.

It was.

The last one, the initial was S.

I said,

I asked you if you believe in Father Christmas, what would you say?

What's the name for Father Christmas?

Santa Claus.

Right, so if I said to you, do you believe in Father Christmas?

you'd sort of go no

yeah but yeah but what what's his name again?

Santa.

Right, so what would you do?

You go,

Santa.

Nah, I don't.

So that's what you do there.

You go, Santa, nah.

Santa, nah.

Santana.

So that was that was the last one.

Well done to Bob in Yorkshire.

Got all three of them right.

You'll get a little signed picture.

Oh, well, that's it.

That's the end of season two, Ricky Dubai Show.

We're back soon.

Check out RickyDuvez.com for information and upcoming news.

There's a free video cast we're doing.

We're also bringing out a book of the podcast.

Yeah, that'll have a lot of the best conversations we've had with Carl, and I think there have been some of them in this show.

And Carl has illustrated all his points and his memories to, I mean, that he thinks that's proof, Victorian evidence.

I mean, it is the ramblings of a maniac, but you can pre-order that on Amazon.

Well,

thanks very much.

It's goodbye from me, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, Bike, and Carl Pilkington.

Audible hopes you've enjoyed this programme.