The Fast Ten: Monday, July 28th, 2025

Good morning, girlies.

It's the toast.

It's Jackson Claude, and we're your host.

It's your favorite show, the fast-five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast, Patreon.

Happy end of July.

E-O-J.

Also means end of fork.

Oh, thank fucking God.

But not if I have anything to do with it.

Well, honestly, the Patreon has been contributing negatively to my mental health because this week, not only do you have a PARG Fast 5 episode, Jackie and I are going to talk about all the comings and goings.

It's like Fast 10.

I'm not whittling down stories.

I'm doing every story that has interest.

You can't fucking put Jackie O in a box.

You can.

And this is Patreon.

There's no rules.

There's no boundaries.

And I'm not going to skimp on stories that interested me.

Lawlessness.

Because I'm confined to five.

Now, I just want to say that also makes it so that I could do four.

Four.

Right.

What the Jack giveth, the Jack also taketh away.

But because these are once a week episodes, there's a lot to talk about and I ain't skimping.

And this week is the last week of July, which means you have two episodes, this Part G one, which I hope you're enjoying this beautiful audio.

So far, so good.

So far, I'm loving it.

I'm having a great time.

Why are we so much better when we're not filming?

Because I can, like, I'm not wearing underwear.

You know, I'm wearing jamas that are three days old that are standing up on their own, a nursing bra that is covered in just things that aren't milk, you know?

Ruby's foo.

Like, I just feel more myself.

Jack and I decided to do an audio only.

And I'm telling you, it's for the betterment of everyone and everything.

The thing about audio only is every time we do audio only, it's just like better and funnier for whatever reason.

Maybe we are different.

And then we don't have the clips.

Correct.

And then we wish we had the clips, but we would have had the video.

We wouldn't have the moments.

We wouldn't have those moments.

So what you're not getting today in a video, you are getting in a vlog.

On Friday, we kind of teased last week this major vlog we were filming.

A major collaboration with a major artist.

A major collaboration with a major artist.

It's called Q Lab Shabbat.

It's a collaboratory Shabbat between Jackie and Ben.

They cooked us a beautiful feast.

We took you through the entire process.

I'm there more just as like a supportive friend.

And a cinematographer.

A cinematographer, I would say like a hilarious commentator.

Yeah.

Would you say?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so that'll be out today as well, maybe tomorrow.

So you have lots to look forward to on this week's Patreon.

And just, you know, we're back.

We are back.

We're back.

And here's one thing I'm not going to be talking about on today's Patreon: my son's sleep habits.

Because you know what?

And people told me this.

They were like, Turdy, don't say it.

Don't go on here bragging 3:30, 7:30.

And I thought they were like, Cause it makes other moms feel bad.

Of course, I jinxed it.

Oh my God, we've had the most horrible week's night's sleep.

Like, I don't even want to talk about it.

I'm not talking about it.

Okay, well,

I'm talking about the fact that I'm not talking about it.

Understood.

We'll circle back with an update in August.

Yeah, we'll see.

We'll see if that.

Okay.

Cool.

How's Ruby otherwise?

Amazing.

Just amazing.

We've had such a fabulous week.

Core memories for Ruby, but also for me.

It's just been wonderful.

And I just,

that's it, you know?

Just great.

Great.

Motherhood all around.

Mother going well.

Motherhood going well.

I was talking about this on my Instagram.

Something you didn't expect with motherhood is like, you know, your life changes, right?

And you're like, you know, your best days are probably behind you.

And you're going to have good days, but they're not going to be as good as they were.

As the good old days.

Of course.

And last week, Ben and I just like randomly, we went on a a hike which i know sounds so crazy but we brought ruby and it's like this beach front hike it's not really a hike it's like a beach and then we just it was very casual very grab a slice honestly we went for a hike and then we just like went to this random sushi spot and everything you know when everything just like works out for you there was like one table left outside and had enough room for a stroller like we got a parking spot right out front i was like oh something's in the energy we had such a great day i'm like oh when i got in bed that night i was like i know we didn't do much but like It was a great day.

And then this weekend we went to the beach and we like it was was just a beach, you know, it wasn't like a beach club and it wasn't like a yacht.

It was just a beach with a chair, you know, from Costco.

And we had the best day.

And it got me thinking.

I was like,

I think my, my

perception of what a good day is now is very different.

It's much more simple.

But I wasn't expecting like so quickly after becoming a mom to like have so many great days.

Now, obviously, some days are hard, you know, like, oh my God, he wouldn't sleep.

But I think also the hard days make the great days even greater because it's like these two extremes.

Totally.

It's such a roller coaster.

And then within one day, you'll experience both extremes.

Highs and lows.

It could be the best of times and the hardest of times.

And it's the same time.

And it's the same time.

Totally.

Yeah.

No, it's so true.

And you do everything's like more simple.

You see the world like through a child's eyes.

And so things that used to be like, oh, boring, like sitting al fresco, it's like, oh, it's hot.

But no, like you get to see the streets and Ruby sees people.

No, it's really, it's kind of lowered the bar for me in terms of like activities and entertainment.

No, and like the things that you appreciate.

like

hey guys, Turdy here.

I hope you're enjoying this episode.

I know I enjoyed recording it.

If you'd like to listen to the full episode, head over to Patreon, patreon.com/slash the toast.

You can click the link in the episode description of this episode.

You will become a member for $7.99 and get access to five extra episodes a month: vlogs, podcast episodes.

This month we're doing Fast Five episodes.

And you'll also get access to our entire catalog of episodes.

That includes tons of iconic vlogs like the Great Chili Cook Off, old podcast podcast episodes, Steamy Lexicon, plus cameos from your favorite Swirlies.

Ben Soffer Celebrity joins quite a bit, as does Satchel, and of course, Trout.

So come join us on Patreon.

You're going to like the way you look.

I guarantee it.

Love you.

Bye.