Slumber Party with Lauren Elizabeth: Tuesday, June 17th 2025

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Good morning, girlies.

It's the toast.

It's Jackson Claude, and we're your host.

It's your favorite show, the fast-five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Happy Lauren Elizabeth Tuesday.

Lauren Elizabeth, welcome to the toast.

I'm so excited that you're here.

You are here for Jackson friends, and you're actually staying with me.

So, like, we've been together for the last 18 hours, just having a gargie party time.

That was a really good math.

It's a rough estimate because I know it's not 12 hours, I know it's not 24 hours.

So, we're like right in the middle.

Thank you so much for having me, not only on the podcast, but in your home, which is also like full of love because you have your two little boys.

And that is why I'm here is for them.

For them.

And they're so happy that you're here.

And I'm so glad that they've lured you here so that you can do the toast with me.

And then we were sitting down last night catching up.

And I realized I haven't seen you since

our Nashville girls trip, which was like right before I got pregnant with Harry.

So I have not seen that.

That's your last period before you got pregnant.

Yeah, yeah.

That's what we like figured out before

that was the last time we saw each other.

So we had a a lot of catching up to do, and we have a lot of toasting to do because you and I haven't done the toast together in forever.

And so much has changed with you since the last time the toasters saw you, except I guess we did toast together a year ago, but it was virtual.

It was virtual.

And I, since that episode, have become like the spokeswoman for pelvic floor.

Right.

Oh, right.

Claudia was asking me about her pelvic floor during her pregnancy.

And I was like, I don't know, ask Lauren a little bit.

Yeah, I'll be sitting in the car and I'll hear like pelvic floor.

I go, oh no, no, they're going to say my name.

I'm like, this is my legacy.

Like, who knew the ins inner workings of my vagina would be my lasting legacy with the toes do you have any pelvic floor updates yeah so i'm like actually really happy to be here to share updates on the inner workings of my vagina um it's going really good i actually don't shit my pants anymore i don't pee my pants anymore because really how long were you doing that for like four months postpartum postpartum yeah so now my daughter will be two in september so we're we're doing pretty good now like i'm feeling really strong vaginally great Not so much mentally.

I feel like I do a really good job of representing the toasters that have like mental illness because like you guys are so normal and you like

yeah, you're always like, we're neurotypical.

I'm like, could not relate less.

Like I'm so not okay,

but my vagina is great.

It's ready for round two.

I've been with you for 18 hours and I feel like you're really well.

Like

mentally sound.

I was not getting like a mentally ill vibe from you.

Well, I'm medicated again, which I think is really great.

Like, go to your doctor, get a prescription.

But I think I also do like a really good job of like hiding it.

So I'm glad that, like, you haven't noticed.

No, and like, you don't have to hide it from me when we're just like.

hanging at my house, like be yourself.

And I'm just, I know I am.

You seem like you're doing really great.

Like, motherhood really suits you.

You're also in like your bride era because you're engaged.

That's a crazy thing.

Like, I understand now why they say first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby and the baby carries.

Because guess what?

Planning a a wedding with a toddler, fucking insane.

That is insane.

How did it go for you?

Love, baby, or baby, love?

Love, baby, wedding.

First comes love, then comes baby,

then comes the wedding.

No, then comes house, then comes small business, then comes wedding.

So I'm broke, I'm stressed,

and I love my daughter.

And my family,

but I feel like a lot of couples feel like when they look back at their wedding, it's like, well, our kids should have been there.

It was like a bad party.

A party full of people who we love and love us and like all the people that they know.

And it's like, if thinking about like my kids at my wedding, like that's the only thing that could have made it better.

It's kind of like there's pros and cons, and I understand it's not ideal, but I think you should focus on that because how fun.

I'm like, I see those videos of which also like make me feel better.

Because like, first of all, like when I was like walking around like play places and I like didn't have a ring yet because obviously like Matt had to propose, I'd be like, I look like a huge whore.

People are looking at me like, look at that.

I literally never wear my ring.

No, I know, but like now I'm like, I'm like pregnant, two kids, no ring.

I walk into the library and I don't have like a wedding band.

And I'm like, oh my God, everyone knows.

Oh my God, you're so.

I see you mentally ill.

I'm not okay.

I don't even have a wedding band.

Like I have, like when I wear my engagement ring, like that, that's everyone down there.

I don't even think about people think she's engaged and not married.

I'm like, two kids.

I'm going to go on the toes and everyone's going to be like, look at that huge whore who's not married yet.

But what I will say is I see the videos that make me feel better of like other people with their child at the wedding.

And I'm like, oh my God, a fellow, like big, you know,

mistake maker or whatever.

And not a mistake, by the way.

But, and they're like bawling, crying.

Their husband's dancing with their daughter.

They're like father-daughter dance, like hilarious.

You guys have kind of crushed it.

Like, I'm not jealous now.

They're actually geniuses.

10 out of 10 recommend, but you will go broke, like for sure.

It's all going to be the flower girl.

So I was hurt.

I feel it in the ceremonies.

I feel like, well, so she's actually like been a flower girl and she has another wedding coming.

She has experience in the role.

So she actually has a wedding coming up in a few weeks.

She's really booked and busy as a flower girl.

And I just feel like.

for our wedding, like she needs like a step up, you know?

I agree.

Like a flower girl is like someone's random child, like not your own.

Yes.

She needs to officiate, be the master of ceremony.

The only thing I'm worried about.

Mama, dad, mama, dad, dad.

I do.

Question mark.

But I just feel like I'm what I'm actually worried about during the ceremony is I heard a like not a horror story, but someone I know, like their baby was at the wedding and they were like, you know, if the baby cries, hand it to the babysitter so that like the two moms, the grandmas, can focus on the wedding.

Grandma A doesn't do that.

Grandma B is kind of running over.

The husband like walks off the altar before like the wife comes down, like knocks over the flowers.

So I've had strict talks with both grandmas.

And I'm like, you guys cannot focus on the baby during the ceremony because I'm also afraid she's going to be like, like, mom, like, come.

So, I don't know logistically how this is going to work yet.

Okay.

But she's going to have some role where she also has to like shut the fuck up for a second.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

I think she'll be captivated watching her parents.

Her mom's going to look like a princess.

Like, I think she's going to be really into it.

Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to look better than I've ever looked in my life.

And then I'm going to fall pregnant like the next day.

So it'll be like.

Have you gotten your dress yet?

I have.

What's your vibe?

So I'm actually keeping my dress a surprise from everyone.

Like from everyone.

So like my like bridesmaids and stuff stuff having only my mom has seen it.

Okay.

But I would say the vibe is like I wanted to do something different because I feel like my style is very simple and very just, I feel like I wanted to do something where people would be like, whoa, I didn't expect Lauren to be in that.

No, I need to see it right now.

Well, you can't come to my wedding, so maybe I'll shoot it.

Right?

Like, I'm like a pushover.

This is what my problem is.

Like, I'm a pushover.

I'm going to be like, oh my God, if I spend 10 more hours with Jackie, I'm showing her the dress.

No, I need to go home.

I just feel like the way that you just said that like really wasn't tasting.

Cause I thought you were going to be like, it's classic.

Like, like when I think of you as a bride like I do think of something like yeah like what do you imagine almost like what Haley Steinfeld just wore like something like very classic traditional and simple I need because my rule and I said this on TikTok I was like if I when I tried on a dress I was like if this dress was black would I wear to someone else's wedding and if the answer was yes I was like it's not enough it has to be like a little different like if it was just like a slip dress but then like you wear it at any color yeah but if The reason why I also was like, I don't want to show anyone pictures is because, you know, it's like not like snatched yet.

And like like i have some tailoring to do right right right but we could use our imagination you and it's like you can't yeah no hair and makeup but you're always in hair and makeup how beautiful does lauren look today

did you go like this to your a wedding appointment i don't know i don't really remember i kind of like blacked it out honestly I don't know.

I'm like, I'm not like, I'm like someone like, I don't do birthday, like, I don't have birthday parties for myself.

Like, this whole, I would have eloped in the backyard if I could.

What stopped you from doing that?

Because really everyone says that angel fiancé who's like, we're having a wedding.

Everyone says, like, oh, I'll i'll just elope like i don't need much i'll go to city hall like every girl i know and then they all wind up with the big wedding so it's like why didn't you do that well you always gave me your advice was always like just don't let it snowball and i was like

you were like you were like you're like don't like get carried away and you were like but you will get carried away yeah so we got carried away but like matt like wanted like more of a traditional wedding and i was like we could just go to city hall like i'm i got the baby like i want the ring and i want the baby yeah and then like the marriage like license but I was like, I don't need the wedding part of it.

And we couldn't find a venue that was like, we wanted to do like an Airbnb, but like, we couldn't find anything.

So we ended up having to do like a traditional venue.

And then, like, you start doing the guest lists and you give a guy that's been in a frat, like, you know,

access.

And all of a sudden, like, everyone in their fucking life.

And then you have to match his list.

So, like, you start inviting people.

Oh, I'm not matching his list.

It's literally like my family.

And then I have like, I think four friends.

Like, so how many people is he inviting like like the ratio it's like basically like 50 50 it's just like mine's mostly family his is mostly friends okay so it's gonna be like a giant frat party at my wedding but that sounds really fun no it'll be really fun i'm actually like i am really excited i just love complaining about everything I mean, welcome to the toast.

It's like what we did.

Thank you so much for having me.

Come here and complain.

We've like talked about me for too long, though.

Oh my God, but you're so interesting to me because I'm even thinking back on like when we met you and like you used to be like an LA girly.

Like you were like the LA influencer.

Like you were so LA you like did all the like things that and now I'm like the opposite LA people do and now you're just like a down home mama yeah but interesting era I feel like I never lost like the Midwest part of me and that's why people in LA I think were really drawn to me and I remember like there was one time where I was single like the very rare time I was single in LA and people and I went on like dates and people were like where did you come from you're so normal I'm like no you're all fucked like you guys are all just nuts and that's obviously then when I decided to move back to Chicago, but I never like lost.

Like, my best friends have always been my best friends from home.

So it was like a natural progression.

Now I just like drink less green juice and like do less Pilates and stuff.

Do you miss it at all there?

No.

Yeah.

Like not for a second.

I miss, I started missing the food a little bit.

But like, and like I have like a, like, I have like a few good friends.

I've like do a good Erewhon trip, sure.

But like, I don't know.

Like, she made it out, you guys.

It's like, it's like living in a different world yeah like i had to like come back to the real world you know no offense to anyone that lives in la i was just like deep immersed in it and like maybe got myself into some like bad relationships so it's you know just my experience well she's come out the other side yes i came out the other side i moved to the suburbs of chicago she became a mom

business owner she's a former podcaster yeah i mean i was part of tnn you were you guys i said you guys i'm so sorry i have to stop podcasting you guys were like bye it's fine I'm like, okay, you know, like, please, like, don't, like, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

You're literally never going to be Tox's boss.

It's like, you have to work.

Like, it's not working for you.

Great.

Yeah.

You guys were like, oh, no, you're good.

But I don't, I, I don't really miss it.

Podcasting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because it's just changed so much from when we started.

Like I was in LA.

Remember when we started and like you and Claudia came over and we, I think, like took pictures for like my cover art or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's when I realized that you guys don't like other dogs that aren't King Charles Kevin.

Cavaliers.

You guys, watching them interact with another dog was like the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life.

You guys were so weird.

You guys were like, hi, dog.

You blowing up our spot, but that is very true.

And not even something that we would try and hide because the whole reason why we love King Charles Cavaliers is because growing up, we were afraid of dogs.

Yeah, no, I can tell now.

And then we got a King Charles Cavalier.

My mom got us that because it's like one of the friendliest dogs for kids.

And she was like, you guys can't be so afraid of dogs.

Like, it's like exposure therapy.

So let me me get like the most, the sweetest dog.

And it took each of us like a couple days.

I remember when everyone had their moment where they like fell in love with the dog, and like some of us were still hiding, some of us were like out playing with the dog.

And we obviously all fell in love with her.

And then we're never scared of King, Charles, Cavaliers, but like, we have a little bit of a fear in us.

Thank you for exposing that, Lauren.

No, I mean, it was just like, you know, like you think it's like these dog people, and then like you have like these like other dogs, and you guys are like,

I was like, oh my God, freaks.

It's important to know we're not dog people, we are King, Charles, Cavalier, Spaniel people.

And I do get it because I met Bruno, obviously, and I was like, wait, this is actually like the best dog.

It was such a love.

Like, he doesn't add any stress to the environment.

Like, you have like two young children like running around, like, screaming, like, wow!

Like,

yeah,

like literally running around with hammers last night.

They're like toy hammers.

I can listen to it, but hammers, no, no, no.

No, guys, they were real hammers.

Don't let her lie to you.

You guys, she's a crazy mom.

The things she lets go on in her home.

No, running around with like little plastic hammers.

And Bruno's just like chilling.

We snuggle.

He's so used to it.

He's fabulous.

He just wants love.

He's really great.

Thank you so much for recognizing Bruno.

So are the children.

Yes, yes.

No, but I'm glad that Bruno has had his moment because he deserves to shine too.

He became a big brother at a very young age and he never got to like basking being the only child.

Yeah.

And that's why I, you know, come in town, give him extra love.

Yeah.

But he seems very well taken care of, very well adjusted.

Yeah.

He's got a lot of love.

He's surrounded by love.

Yeah.

I love it.

Do you have a dog now?

You know,

touchy.

So now that you're exposing, now that she says to you, that's like a really touchy subject.

It is crazy.

It's a touchy subject for influencers, like who have a dog and then don't.

Okay.

Okay.

Here's the thing.

If I post a picture of, no, the dog that was in your apartment that we were saying we were afraid of.

Where's that dog?

Okay, so I gotta go.

Bye.

Okay, so here's the thing.

I didn't train my dogs.

They're not great dogs, whatever.

Love them.

Move back to Chicago.

Very small apartment.

Lauren goes through a new phase.

She's out all the time.

She's meeting people.

She is me, right?

We're going crazy.

My mom lives down the street.

So I was also traveling.

I was going back and forth.

My dogs were always at my mom's house.

And then finally, one time I came back from LA and my mom was like, you're not picking up the dogs.

I'm done with you picking them up.

You've ruined our routine, all this stuff.

So, she kind of actually stole the dog, like kidnapped them.

Okay, that's a totally suitable answer for me.

Like, they're with your parents, they're with your mom.

Yeah, they're like our family dogs.

So, like, now, but then my mom decided to abandon me at the ripe age of 30, and she also took the dog.

So, now they all live in Charleston.

Got it.

That's a nice life.

They're living the dream.

Wait, I don't hate this.

I thought it was going to get like dark and it was going to be like a loosey-lucy apple juicy situation.

No, no, no.

But people still to this day DM me about the fucking dogs.

No, I'm sorry.

If you are an influencer and you show that you have a dog one time, don't do it.

You are going to be asked every single day.

There's no good outcome.

Like there's really no good outcome.

Like keep, you know how people put emojis over their babies?

Put them over your fucking dogs.

Or don't put your dogs on the internet.

Yeah.

If you like don't plan on having them like long term, I guess.

Yeah, I mean, like, I guess it was never a part of my plan.

I think it just naturally.

Yeah.

Like maybe I'm not a dog person.

I like, I'm like a baby person.

You know, like I always knew I wanted to be a mom.

I thought that would translate to dogs.

Did you feel pressure to get a dog like living in LA?

No, I think like maybe I was just like lonely.

I don't even remember.

I don't remember what I did last week.

I don't remember how I felt when I was like in my early 20s in LA.

Journal.

Yeah, but then I had to like read.

Like, I'm like, I hate myself so much.

Like, I've like looked at, like, read like old journals and I'm like, you are the biggest fucking loser on the planet.

I found an old journal in this move.

I immediately put it in the trash.

I'm like, ew, ew, ew, get it away from me.

Do you feel that way about old content?

Oh, I won't watch it.

Because I guess technically, if you want to know how you felt when you were in LA, like listen to your old podcast.

Would rather die.

Yeah.

Would actually rather die.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know why I do what I do.

I just have gotten into it and I like the lifestyle that's come with it.

So I keep putting myself on the internet and then like, I go viral on TikTok and I'm like, I hate this.

Why do I do it?

Like, I want to die.

No, but it's a, there's a certain type of person, especially back in the day, like when we started on the internet, there's a certain type of person that like goes to the internet because there are introverted and like it's an easy way to like make something in a silo and then put it out there, but you're not really, you're not getting on a screen.

It's not actually out there.

Yeah.

So I think it makes sense that a lot of the OG internet people, now everyone wants to be on the internet, so it's different.

But like a lot of the OG internet people, like the cool kids were out at a party.

We were all in our bedrooms filming ourselves, talking to ourselves

to a camera.

Like that's like, do you know how much we got made fun of?

The cool kids were busy being cool.

Yeah.

Like, and I'm like, hey guys, here's how to do a shmokey eye.

Like, loser, go get a life.

But like, you know, we're here, so it's whatever.

Yes.

Well, we are here.

We're going to do the toast today.

We have a very fun show because we have five interesting stories and we have dear toasters.

DTQ.

The DTQ needs us.

I picked some submissions that I think you and I will be uniquely suited to answer.

Okay.

For the mamas, for the brides, for the girlies, for the swirlies.

I love, I love the mamas and the brides.

Yeah.

But I'm a mama bride.

Mama bride.

Is that like a niche like category?

There's no one else.

There's no other mama brides as far as I can tell because I think I'm the only like fucked up one.

But you know, I'm sure they're out there.

If you're a mama bride, come follow me.

We can do this together.

I feel like that would definitely be like a TikTok community.

No, I just, I just, there's no niche here, you know?

Yeah.

But we got, we got all the niches covered.

Yeah.

So we've got the mentally ill.

Yep.

The Midwest.

Midwest.

Brides Mothers.

Brides Mothers.

Dog rehomers.

People who are scared of dogs.

Except for their own.

Honestly, we got you covered.

We got you covered.

So let's get into the past five stories that you need to know, eh?

Eh?

And I need to let you know that the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Roller Rabbit.

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I didn't even plan that.

I just got the Pargia shipment from Roller Rabbit, and I wanted to wear this outfit.

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Today's episode of The Toast is also brought to you by Taylor Farms.

And if I'm guessing correctly, my lunch today will be brought to you by Taylor Farms because it it is the best salad kit ever.

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Thank you to our sponsors.

Our first story.

Today's stories are in no order of importance.

Like nothing broke except the only like breaking news, not even breaking, but just like major news was like Love Highland.

I'm all the way caught up.

Oh, yeah.

Did you watch it last night?

I watched the episode that aired last night and I watched the one from Sunday night, which was like the big shake-up of the house.

The mama one?

Did you see that?

I saw that.

That's like the only thing that matters to me.

Mama.

I'm a mama.

I'm a mommy.

Mama Sita.

No, I'm a mommy.

No, that was

a dog.

No, that was really hard to watch, and he was not wrong for that.

Like, it was very confusing.

But some more reality TV news.

Erica Jane is breaking her silence on those Jesse Solomon hookup rumors.

So rumors began swirling, and I feel like I never even like stopped to think about it.

But like a couple people have said some stuff about Erica Jane and Jesse Solomon over the last months.

The two were photographed at a private cocktail party in New York City in May.

And then since then, Erica has addressed the speculation on her podcast series with Teddy Mellencamp.

So Teddy said to her, I guess you allegedly made out with Jesse.

She said, first of all, no.

The alleged hookup would have taken place, they said, at Watch What Happens Live in New York City after Up Fronts.

I was at home, but here's the thing.

Was I flirting with two men at Upfronts?

The answer is yes.

Yes, I was.

Would I have preferred to take two home instead of one?

Yes.

She then said, I can't, but my point is for once in a decade, I actually talk to people that we work with because I'm such a bitch every other time.

You know me, but I'm trying to do more social things.

She said, I wish I had something exciting to tell you, but I don't.

I saw these rumors.

Like, I think also Amanda Patula was asked about them on Watch Red Act.

I could have sworn that she confirmed them.

And she did.

She, like, they asked if she believed it.

She's like, oh, yeah, for sure.

So I was just like, oh, yeah, Jesse and Eric and Jay hooked up.

Like, no big deal.

I'm kind of bummed to hear that they didn't.

Yeah, I 100% thought that they did.

I don't love it.

Like, to be honest, like, it kind of like icks me out a little bit, but maybe that's just because like he's been icking me out a little bit.

But I could have sworn that it it was just confirmed.

Why did she have to unconfirm it?

I don't know.

I don't like ship.

Like, I don't need them to be together forever, but I do like the idea of like her having a fun hookup.

Like, she deserves that.

I mean, yeah, like we all like deserve that, but like, I don't like this match.

Yeah.

I feel like it's the sort of thing where like things are brewing.

These rumors might get in the way, but like maybe they had a good conversation at Up Friends.

Maybe they think the other is cute.

Like maybe they'll hook up at Bravocon if people will stay out of their way.

Now people might put too much pressure on it, you know?

Is Bravo?

Wait, when is Bravocon happening?

I don't know.

I think it happens in the fall.

Oh, the fall.

Yeah.

But like next time they see each other, I feel like they could hook up, but not if everyone's like talking about it before it even happens.

But, or it already did happen and she's trying to like say face and she's lying.

I don't, I don't.

I don't know why lie.

Like who cares?

And also hookup, like.

Everyone thinks of hookup as differently.

So when she just said like kissed or made out, I was like, wait, I thought we were talking about SEX.

I think of hookup as make out.

Okay.

I don't know why, but now I think about it as sex.

And like not obviously when I was like growing up.

Right, because now it's like we're like, I feel like the way, remember when we were growing up, like the word hookup meant like, even just like a kiss on the lips.

Like kissed, you hooked up.

Like you've touched.

But then your parents would be like, did you two hook up last night?

It's like, ew.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel like we're getting to the age where it's like, hookup just means some sort of like.

sexual interaction and not just you know what i mean like i feel like that's just us maturing but the word is still a very much an umbrella term okay because i assumed that like they fucked And now she's saying like kiss.

I'm like, wait, what?

I don't think that they had sexual relations because that would mean like going somewhere private probably.

Whereas like they could like make out on a dance floor.

I see.

Yes, yes, yes.

Or even a pec.

Like that could be a hookup.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or like at a party.

I don't think they like, you know, had one-on-one time like back at someone's like hookup.

That's what was happening in my head is that Jesse Solomon took Erica Jane home to his little studio apartment and was a little bit embarrassed.

He probably has navy blue bed sheets with no bed frame.

And Erica Jane didn't get to see his apartment on the show.

Well,

does he live in New York?

I thought someone said he lived in Miami.

I heard that recently too.

I think he splits time.

Like, where does he live in the city when they're not in the hammock?

I don't know.

But there's no bed frame there.

No.

There's no way.

No.

And there shouldn't be a bed frame because I wouldn't want like someone going back with him like to get the wrong impression.

Like this is the kind of guy with a bed frame.

Like I can count on him.

Now he's going to hear this this and he's like, shit, I gotta, like, get on wafer and get a bed frame.

No, no, no, no, no.

But there's no way.

Okay, fine.

You know what?

I don't ship it.

I don't care.

But,

like, sure, she deserves to be happy and deserves love, Erica Jane.

I don't think she's lying, though.

I don't think she has a lot of people.

I don't think she's lying.

I think if she didn't want people, if she didn't, she didn't want people to know, they wouldn't bring it up on her podcast.

Yeah.

And they also, I'm just like very naive, unless like someone is a proven liar on TV where it's like you can't trust a word out of their mouth.

I just don't think people lie like that.

But that's a me problem because no, I agree.

Cause I don't, I literally think that's like crazy to just like straight up lie when nobody asks.

Like you could have escaped the question.

Yeah, you could have just not said anything.

I always say, why would I lie?

Why would I lie?

Because I don't understand like why people lie.

I'm like, I tell, like, I can't help but tell the truth.

But I just feel like also like it was probably like good PR.

So like, why I like put like a kibosh on it by being like, no, it didn't happen.

Yeah.

Like, oh.

Yeah, I agree.

It was like a fun storyline.

Yeah, exactly.

So for now, it hasn't happened.

Yeah, there's still BravoCon.

We still have hope.

We always have Bravo.

Jesse Solomon is probably going to just absolutely tear through bitches at BravoCon.

I know, but at this point, like, who would fall for it?

I don't know.

People can be extremely charming and like better looking in real life.

And you could be like, oh, wait, like, maybe you're just like that on like,

whoa.

But I also think like an older woman who's not really looking for anything, like, might, she doesn't care if Jesse Solomon is like, oh, fuck boy.

Like, I don't not talking to you again.

So, like, no,

like, the younger girls might, like, have, like, think something good come of it but i don't think i can't imagine him just like holding a conversation with an older woman i don't know why i could i could really yeah it's like that's that that like that's not that little like charming piece that you hold on to it gets smaller and smaller yeah but it's still there it's still there it's still there i don't know i've seen too much yeah i've seen too much yeah are you all caught up on summer house yes but i'm more of like a west girly like when i like see him i know i know relax i just think he's so funny i actually agree i think he's funny i think he's so funny.

I can't help it.

And I think he has really good style.

So like when he comes across my desk, I think you'd like

to get FYP.

I, I don't, like, I'm kind of like drawn to it.

I'm like, you're a silly

dude.

Like, and like you own it.

Like when he comes up on my like for you page, I'm like.

lol you're silly you're cool you're fun when jesse solomon comes up and he's like guys these girls told me that like like everyone like hates me and like i'm like oh my god like you're actually making me want to throw up in my mouth Like, go away.

So, I'm more of a West girly in that sense, but he's the only one I like on the whole show, men-wise.

Okay.

Okay.

I don't hate that for you.

Yeah, I like it.

Yeah.

I hope they stay.

I think they're staying.

Because they should be shooting right now, right?

Like, two weeks.

Okay.

Two weeks out of the day.

Oh, yeah.

Last season, Fourth of July was the first one.

Okay.

So we're almost there.

Our next story.

Mariah Carreys is explaining her refusal to acknowledge birthdays.

She says, I don't have a birthday.

That's like you who won't even throw a birthday party.

So at least I know I have one.

Mariah Carey has one very unconventional belief system.

She doesn't believe in the passage of time.

So she was on a UK radio show and each of the hosts asked her a series of questions about what she does or doesn't support, including acknowledging time.

One of the hosts asked, is it true you don't acknowledge the passing of time?

And she said, that is true.

And then when the host asked what she means by that, she said, I just don't believe in it.

And then the host was still confused, wanting to know if she was referring to time zones.

But Mariah said, no, just time.

So the host was like, no clocks, and it's just not into that.

She said, yeah, no, just let it go.

They said, do you celebrate your birthday?

She said, I don't have a birthday.

No.

She said, anniversaries, yes.

So she's like, one of those.

It's not a birthday.

It's an anniversary.

What in the fuck are you reading?

Like, this is real?

No.

And then they said, but if I were to meet up with you later, how would we know when?

And then she said,

Yeah, I would have someone call you and figure it out.

So everyone that works for her is living a nightmare.

Oh, for sure.

But I think we already knew that.

I think the time thing just throws a wrench into it.

I like literally strive to be this level of delusional.

No, it's like she's living on Mars.

Like, this isn't real life.

What?

And I feel like it's a funny bit, you know, and that's so Mariah Carrie.

Like, she doesn't acknowledge her birthday because like she is ageless and age is but a number.

But to really like live your life like that just seems stressful.

Like, what if you have a doctor's appointment?

That's what I'm saying, right?

Like, I live by the Google Calendar, but I think she probably has a concierge doctor that comes to her house, and then when she's ready to see the doctor, he's waiting in the living room.

It's like one thing not to like celebrate birthdays or believe in birthdays, sure, whatever, but like to the passage of time, the passage of time,

now you're on mushrooms, the passage of time

is significant.

And I think that like it's like happening literally right now.

Like, she's not okay.

And I love, you know, what I do love other people, like my child's birthday.

Cause, like,

now it's about me.

I'm like, I pushed that baby out.

Like, as a mama, like, you should love birthdays.

Like, you like brought life into the world.

No, birthdays are so fun, especially the first birthday.

Like, the first birthday is really for the mom.

And it's not like you would have a party, a big party or anything because they don't like have that many friends or whatever.

And they wouldn't even realize.

So you just do something sweet, but it's an acknowledgement for you.

Like, you got through the first year.

That's passage of time.

That passage of time.

Yeah.

You got through that.

That passage of time is significant.

Would you say?

significant like oh my god she's nuts yeah imagine like your mom being like we don't believe in time no i'd be like mommy what do you mean i have school like 8 a.m yeah we have to be there at eight o'clock like this is like i used to like believe in like world peace and like just you know i used to like wonder how do like how do people mess it up you know like i want to be the best mom i can be and like how do i just make sure i get it right and then i like open my phone and the internet and i see stuff like this.

And I'm like, oh, like, we're fucked.

Like, people are bat shit crazy.

We're never going to have world peace.

There's people that don't believe in the passage of time.

Right.

They couldn't even like meet for the meeting.

No, yeah.

Like, it's not happening.

Unless it's in their house.

With the concierge doctor.

With the concierge doctor.

I mean, it sounds lovely.

Yeah.

To be like living at this level.

Yeah.

So I wonder how she would, like, if she were just a regular person who like didn't have like access to all, like, the privilege of not recognizing time, like, right.

How this would manifest in a regular person.

I just don't think you're like an active member of society.

I agree.

Like, how do you do anything?

Yeah.

And it's not a bit.

And I think, I don't think, I mean, she's a bit.

Like a little bit, it's a bit, but it really sounded like she, it's not, you know?

I don't know.

The Nick Cana thing's making more sense.

But I guess like if you have multiple assistants and people working for you, like it's not your job to manage your time.

Like time does not matter to you.

Like that's someone else's job.

Like someone in her sphere is dealing with time.

i mean she's honestly probably really happy yeah like just living in la la land it's probably frustrating for her that people like us like don't understand what she's saying yeah she's probably like you guys just don't get it and like i'm functioning on another level how sad for you yeah no like she's making fun of us on her imaginary podcast right now yeah that has no timed ads or anything no she just goes on and on and on

Yeah,

so I hate this.

That's what's up with Mariah.

I didn't like, I feel like I didn't need to know that.

And I'm like, so happy that I do.

I know.

I'm going to be like, think about that a lot.

Like, how, how my life, my day even could be different if I just like don't acknowledge time.

No, I'm going to, like, I need like way more follow-up questions.

Like, I have so many questions for her.

Especially when you have kids and she does have kids.

So it's like they put you on a schedule.

Yeah.

But maybe it's like a biological schedule.

Like what they do.

But maybe she doesn't believe like in time in a sense of like that it's like man-made and like we like made it up.

So she still like follows like the rules of society, but she doesn't like believe in time as like a whole, which also doesn't make sense because, like, we have like history, but I don't know.

Now I'm like, there's also just day and night.

I'm trying to think like a mindset.

Day and night is not a social construct.

It's social.

But time is.

Time, like time is.

O'clock is a social construct.

Yeah.

O'clock equals social construct.

No, yeah.

White and dark, day and night, not social.

Now I'm feeling like I'm on shrooms trying to figure this out, but I can't do it.

I know.

We need to pivot to more theological subjects.

So true.

Because Pope Leo reportedly is related to Madonna and Justin Bieber through a common ancestor.

So Pope Leo XIV reportedly has some famous musical relatives.

According to a report in the New York Times, the New Hotlooly Father is related to Justin Bieber and Madonna through one common Canadian ancestor born roughly six generations ago.

The New York Times collaborated with genealogists from American Ancestors and the Cuban Genealogy Club of Miami on a detailed exploration of his ancestry and found that the head of the Catholic Church, born Robert Francis Prevost, that's definitely not right.

Prevost, has connections to a number of famous relatives, including Madge, Madonna, Bieber, Angelina Jolie, and former U.S.

Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, which I guess would also mean that all these people are related to each other as well.

Did he submit like a blood sample for that?

I'm confused.

Did he like do ancestry DNA like on his own time?

No, but I don't think you need

so who's running this?

The answer, like just like ancestry.com.

Like you're just figuring it out.

Like you just give your name and like the people that you know and then they have a lot of other information it's like one of those things and that's like ancestry.com which is pretty legit but not like the the genealogy club or american ancestors well first of all this is my boy this this is my this is my pope yeah because this is for my guy yeah like like honestly if i gave them my name maybe we're related for sure because you could be from chicago yeah he might be my dad he might be your dad he might be my dad i mean i don't have a dad i mean i mean technically i do but like it could be i'd love another end to love a new one you know Yeah.

It could be Pope Leo.

I just think he's so cute.

But this just makes me feel like,

then, like, are we just like all related?

For sure.

But, like, we are all related.

I wouldn't believe that.

Well, it depends what you believe.

It depends what you believe.

Adam and Eve.

Well, I mean, I don't believe in the passage of time anymore.

But if you believe in Adam and Eve, then we're all related.

I do believe in Adam and Eve, yeah.

So we're all related.

Okay, like, yeah, but like.

But this is like closer to home, Madonna and Justin Bieber.

But you're definitely related to this guy.

He He looks like I think he, right?

Like we give similar vibes.

Do you get really excited when he like wears his Chicago swag?

Yeah, I do because I feel like we're like the most underrated city.

Did you know of him before he became the pope as being like for him being like a big deacon in the or

bishop?

Yeah.

Like, yeah, I'm such a good Christian.

No, I had no idea until it was like on the news.

And then I'm good.

My whole Instagram feed is like, Chicago.

Because even like, I feel like I know the big cardinals in New York.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't believe in the passage of like time

of cardinals.

No, I don't know.

It was, it was all news to me.

But as a Chicago girly, like, big day for us.

Huge day.

Yeah.

You know, people need to put more respect on our city.

It's a major win for the windy city.

It's a major win for the windy city.

But like, New York sucks.

LA sucks.

Chicago, so great.

We gave you a pope.

Yeah.

Think about it.

Think about it.

No, it's really, it's really great for.

So do you think Madonna and Justin will reach out?

I could see Madonna.

She's very spiritual.

Yeah.

She's another one that's interesting.

She's an interesting cat.

Yeah.

I don't even go down like the Madonna rabbit hole.

Like there's just like, there's so much information.

And her music, like never,

she's ahead of my time.

So,

but she's very spiritual.

True.

In an like in a real way.

I mean, Justin Bieber won't stop posting on Instagram.

Justin Bieber is also very spiritual.

He's probably going to figure this out and get in touch.

Yeah.

That's so cute.

Family reunion.

Yeah, this is what he needs.

This is what Justin needs right now.

I think so too.

I know he has Jesus, but more.

But he needs more.

Yeah.

And Pope Leo's going to get him there.

Imagine he's the one to save him.

I mean, another one for Chicago.

Beautiful.

Oh, yeah.

And the ancestor is a Canadian, like Justin.

Ah, I see.

I see.

Like, the more you know.

The more you know.

The more you know.

I love genealogy.

I think it's really interesting.

It's like that one show, right?

Where they like do it with celebrities and they like figure out everyone that they're related to.

What's it called?

Like, who the heck are you, or something like that?

It's called.

I think it has a weird name.

Oh, I thought it was called like genealogy.

I think it's called, like, who the fuck are you?

Seriously.

Like,

do they still do it?

I thought they did because I feel like they still see news about it.

I don't see as much news about it.

I feel like it used to make more news.

Yeah.

But maybe some people found out some stuff they didn't want to know.

Yes, maybe, like, variety was doing something.

I just saw like these like two actors figured out that they were like cousins or something.

Keep it.

Through it.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know enough.

Can you tell?

Like there's not a lot going on up here.

I don't think that's true.

Thank you.

I think you're really hard on yourself.

Oh, well, even my therapists agree.

Our next story.

Reese Witherspoon is launching a weekly podcast for her book club.

So Redheads are quaking.

Redheads are

pissed.

We are pissed.

And I feel like she could like smell blood in the water.

Like, because we've been struggling.

And I've been honest about this.

Like on the Redheads, and probably you could sense from the show, like it's been really hard to like get the redheads.

We do our episode every month, but like every month it's getting harder and harder to find time for all of us to record like four busy women, like mothers,

a lot going on.

And then also like for us to read the books too.

Like we're having a really, we're in a reading slump and then it's just really, and so we're going definitely through like a weak moment.

Yeah.

And she's pouncing.

So her monthly book club, which just turned eight years old, redheads are five years old.

That's like the younger, prettier version.

Is now getting a companion podcast.

While she's likely to make appearances on the show, she is delegating the hosting duties of the podcast.

It's called Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club.

Okay, amazing name.

Like, kill me.

The series will be anchored by journalist and TV host Danielle Robe, who will bring together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers, and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that I try and send the page.

You know, I feel sick of it.

You know, this is my dream.

Like, I always, I always say, like, if I had more time and I could take on more projects, I would build out Redheads.

Like, I have like big dreams for it.

And I would at least do like a twice-monthly podcast where once a month is the book club, and then the other one is like talking to authors, influencers, pacemakers about like book stuff.

And I definitely like said that once on the show and they took my idea.

Well, you're giving away a lot of free ideas.

I'm glad, you know what?

I'm just going to be magnanimous because I know I'm not like I'm only getting to have less time, not more.

I'm never going to be able to do that.

Right.

So I'm glad that that content will be put out into the world by a trusted source such as Reese.

But I feel like you guys would have done it better in like a more like authentic and fun way.

Like this has the potential to be like over over-commercialized and like not as intriguing and just like almost just like people are going on a press tour.

Yeah, and just like very serious, yeah, um, and not like showing a super fun side.

But let's see, Hello Sunshine has another podcast too.

Claudia and I did one of their podcasts.

I think it was called like a Hello Sunshine podcast.

Yeah, and we had so much fun.

The hosts were amazing.

So I think they're pretty good in the podcast space.

And like, because I'm not going to do this, and I know that about myself, because I don't have more time,

I will pass the torch to Bookmarked.

So then what's the future for for the redheads?

I mean, that's a really big question and something that we're all sort of grappling with, but we all have agreed that like we never want to stop doing it.

And when it gets hard, like, we're not giving up the redheads.

So, I think even Margot,

yeah, even Margot, because for right now, a lot of us like aren't reading in our free time.

Like, we normally were just going through a reading slump, but like, if it weren't for the redheads, I would not have read in six months.

And, like, I'm grateful for that.

And every time we do the redheads, it's so fun.

And then, like, I literally sometimes don't talk to, like, have it catch up with my friends that whole month.

And then I get to like, it keeps us together.

Yeah.

So we can't stop.

We can't stop.

It's just, um,

I think also what would be easier for me is like delegating the editing of the episode because I edit the episode.

Yeah.

It's really hard to edit four people who are doing a virtual episode.

It takes up a lot of my life.

I can't believe you do it.

I know.

I'm just like so protective of the redheads.

And like I listen to everything.

I take out everyone's like breath that I can, like anything that I could do to make it perfect because like it's my baby.

It's my passion project.

But I think if I took some of the workload off of myself,

that maybe could be better for the future of the brand.

brand.

I don't want the Redheads to go anywhere.

I tune in, I tune out.

You know, Rit and Dana are my absolute girls.

Like, absolutely love them.

But I feel like, Reese, you know, this is just like a commercialized version of like maybe something that you'll be able to do eventually.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe they'll have me on as a tastemaker and influencer.

Well, those are the things that you are.

And then you can go promote the redheads.

And then I can go promote them.

So maybe this is actually to my advantage.

You know, I think it's good.

Like I'm always going to support women in literature, encouraging people to read and podcasts.

But at this point, like, do you think that like Reese is really like picking out each book?

Or is it like, okay, like we have a new like release coming out and like we know the people at this book publishing house?

Like, I think she, there's that.

Like, I think publishing houses like submit their upcoming book, but I think they also pick the books like six months before they even come out.

Right.

Like, it's so, maybe even like a year, whenever they have manuscripts.

I think the publishing houses that she works with, like, send the books that they want to nominate for a book club.

I think she has readers that read a lot of books.

And then I think maybe one or two come to her and like she might make the final choice.

I think she reads them.

I mean, that's like a dream, like in a sense of like, if like, can you imagine like if you were doing the Redheads and you had all these people that are like trickling books up to you and you only had to read like the final two.

Yeah.

But no, I just feel like sometimes I'm like, I don't know.

Can I trust it?

Like, is it really good?

Or like, did they just like pick it because they have a relationship with the author and like whatever.

Yeah.

But that's just me being like, I don't know.

Like when you pick a book, I'm like, oh, Jackie picked it.

Yeah.

Well, for Redheads, it's more of a crapshoot because no one's read it.

I'm not saying this is my recommendation.

I'm saying, like, we're going to have fun and it can open to be being bad.

But when I recommend something like on my stories, like, I, yeah, I mean it.

But I do feel like there are some book clubs that people like, it depends what you like.

I mean, obviously, some people read everything Oprah picks because they just trust her judgment.

They like what she likes.

I find myself really liking the Read with Jenna pics.

Yes.

Anytime I read a book that's a Read with Jenna book, it's good.

I can say I've had the same experience with Reese's book club.

Yeah, I agree.

It's not like, but maybe that's just a difference of taste.

Like maybe I'm more of a Jenna than a Reese.

I've just also found myself just liking Jenna in general recently.

I think like maybe since like Hoda left or whatever, like I just feel like there's so much like, she's being pushed on me so much.

And I'm just loving what I'm seeing.

She's doing a great job.

I think so, too.

And I think she does a really good job in the book space.

I just want you to have a stamp.

Like on a book.

I know.

Well, we have our sticker.

Well, I have stickers that like I make for myself.

Well, send me like a few hundred and I'll start going around the Midwest just popping them on books.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can make stamps Samsung Etsy.

Love.

Yeah.

Um, are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

Well, I need to let you know that the rest of today's episode is brought to you by Roebuck.

Okay, girlies, listen up because we need to talk about Roeback's new summer drop.

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The demi dress is the moment.

And then there's also this Steffi active skort.

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Our fifth and final story is a little white lotus money news, which,

oh, and my favorite actor from White Lotus, Jason Isaacs.

He plays

Thomas Ravenel.

Exactly.

So he is talking about the equal pay earned on White Lotus and how we previously reported, and everyone knows this to be true, that each actor earned the same amount on White Lotus of $40,000 an episode.

So in an interview with Vulture, he confirmed that every cast member made $40,000 an episode, bringing their total pay for the series around $320,000.

He noted that the sum is actually a very low price for a hugely successful television series.

He said, I didn't know that was public knowledge about the salaries, but he he said, that's absolutely true.

Generally, actors don't talk about pay in public because it's ridiculously disproportionate to what we do, putting on makeup and funny voices and just upsets the public.

But compared to what people normally get paid for big TV shows, that's a very low price.

But the fact is, we would have paid to be in it.

We probably would have given a body part.

So I think it's like refreshing.

He seems like every time he talks, I just like love him so much.

Like he's such a PJOM.

And while, yes, like this is lower than actors make typically, especially to be on a hit show on HBO, like it's still more than most people make in many, many years.

Do we have any idea like how much people like normally make to be on like a hit HBO show?

Because like to me, I'm like $320,000.

I'm like, that's like a lot.

Like maybe not for like A-list, A-list celebrity, but like for just like regular actor.

Like, yeah, that's a lot.

No.

And I feel like a lot of people who are on the white lotus are either like on their way up or like kind of have been forgotten about for a little bit.

So it's like amazing for their careers.

But I also imagine it's such a big cast.

Like you can't pay everyone a million dollars right because it's like okay forty thousand dollars an episode i'm thinking maybe like 10 20 like that i'd be like okay whoa like that's really really low but forty thousand dollars it's not bad it's funny it's kind of like what like a big reality show would make per episode probably do you think is that yeah like i would say when you come into a rally show you're probably making like fifteen hundred to five thousand dollars an episode right and then when you are there for a few years like i think forty thousand an episode is like a median place to be at i think like some of the vanderpump people buy the and we're making like $100,000 an episode.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

Because it compounds.

Like the more time you're on the show, that's so many different contract negotiations that you've been through.

Right, right, right.

I know, I think we like, as much as he said, like, you know, like what we do is like put on like makeup and like act silly and all that stuff.

I just always think that like they make

so much money.

And then I think of reality TV as like you make like no money.

So I feel like the $40,000 is more like, yeah, shocking to everyone because it's like, oh, I thought everyone just makes millions and millions and millions of dollars.

Yeah.

I feel like reality TV stars actually make a lot of money.

Like I feel like even if they make $20,000 an episode, but

their show is even 10

episodes, but usually more than that.

It's like 20 episodes.

So it's like $200,000 to $400,000 just for like film, like for that portion of the year.

They film a few months out of the year.

So like the rest of the year, they're doing other jobs.

Like I feel like that's why when people are like struggling so much or it's like, I'm like, but where'd all the money go?

Like you've been on this show for 10 years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I know.

Well, it's because it's, especially like when you live in someone, somewhere like LA, though, it's like the cost of living and then like the cost of like keeping up with the Joneses.

I know, but I'm like, what are you even doing that looks so like you look?

Well, yeah, I mean, especially with that cast.

I'm like, it's not like anyone's like dressing fabulously or like driving fancy cars.

I'm like, no offense.

Like, y'all look like shit.

Like, you like, and like cheap, too.

And so I'm like, where'd all your money go?

I know.

And you just think that if you started making an astronomical amount of money, you'd like get some type of financial advisor and just like start investing it.

And then you'd like don't have to work as much either.

But with reality, like, I don't know, like, they're all just normal people that they found on the side of the road.

And they're like, hey, you want to make a fool of yourself on television?

Let's go.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden they're rich and they're spending money.

They're giving money to probably family members doing the damn thing.

But actors, actors have been working for it.

They're serious cats, you know?

They are serious.

They've been taking their acting classes.

Yeah.

I got the biggest ick last night, actually.

You're an actress.

Okay, please.

I was an actress for three seconds.

Did you miss acting?

No.

With acting, you do a lot of nothing.

So like I remember being like, just like really, really bored because you just like wait around a lot.

They call it like hurry up and wait.

And I just remember like I'd be on Instagram like watching like people post and like starting like blogs and businesses.

And I was like, I could do more.

I'm like, I like, I was like too, like, I like, I was like, I need to go, go, go.

Yeah.

What was the show that you were on?

I was on Real Bros of of see me valley jimmy tetro show for a little bit and then this show called batch that was like a sketch comedy female sketch comedy show that one's like that one's a classic that one like my fiancé still he's like watch lauren and this i'm like oh my god that's really cute i know it probably hurt like is painful for you but like that's what a good fiancé should no yeah he he he loves he loves talking me up like that so you know you know but no i don't i really don't know what I was gonna say.

What gave you the ick last night?

Oh, okay.

So I got the ick in your house last night having nothing to do with you.

It just, it's it's where I experienced it.

I was like watching Ginny in Georgia and there's like I was watching like maybe the high schooler, like one of the guys act and I had just taken my like little like CBD gummy to like go to bed.

So, you know, I'm also kind of like going in and out.

And I was just like, these are like grown, like I was just watching like grown men act.

And I was like, you're free.

I'm like, we're the biggest loser on the planet.

Like you're telling me you have a normal girlfriend and a normal life and like, oh, sorry, I got to go play pretend and cry and like what i was i don't know i just had like this weird like out of body i was like watching ginny and georgia and i was like loser loser like you're all freaks no that's the conclusion that we've come to like to be an actor working actor like successful like you have to be a freak like there's no way

to be normal and i think that's why when someone seems normal like they are so adored like when powell seems normal yes but like powell is normal for sure but he could there's no way i don't know i mean i've met him a couple of times and he was like really outgoing and normal and whatever.

Yeah.

Oh, hold on.

Let me pick up the name I just remember.

It was really weird, though, because he like wanted to like hook up with my friend and not me.

So like that was definitely like a blow to the ego.

Who's your friend?

Like a like an influencer friend?

Like an influencer friend.

And you don't want to tell us when was this?

It was, oh my God, so I was in the past.

Well, actually, like I was like dating someone else.

So maybe that's why I didn't know.

I'm over here being like, why didn't you want to hook up with me?

Bitch, you came with someone else.

So maybe he did.

Let's just go with that.

Let's just go with that.

Mamas need every sense of delusion that you can.

He wasn't okay.

He didn't want to step on toes.

No, he didn't want to step on toes.

Like, I'm like living in like

my own delusion, like, where like I walk down the street with my daughter, besides, like, the whole like horror bit that I do in my head.

My other bit is I'm like, oh my God, like people are like staring at me.

They're like, who is this young girl?

Like, with like, is she a nanny?

Like, I see a high school, high schoolers pass me and I'm like, they probably like think I'm like a couple years older than that.

Yeah.

And I'm like, finally had to look in the mirror and be like, listen, you dumb bitch.

You are not young.

Like, you don't look like a teenager.

But, like, you do.

When I walk around, I literally am like, oh my God, that guy's checking me out.

He's 14.

Oh, okay.

No.

Okay, Bonnie Blue.

I'm like, oh my God, they probably think I'm like so cool.

And it's like, no, like, you're an old mom loser.

No, that's

not a cooler.

Anyway, me with my bump.

I'm like, oh my God, they're checking me out.

L-O-L.

You're like, the most didn't want to know Glenn when I'm pregnant.

pregnant.

Like, Len.

Well, now it is time for Dear Toasters, which is our weekly advice segment.

I'm here to do it with Lauren.

I'm so excited.

If you ever want to submit to Dear Toasters, you can email us, dear toasters at gmail.com or go to the submission form on our website.

It's always anonymous.

And we're here to help out the swirlies.

So let's get into it.

This first one.

I'm conflicted.

Hey, swirlies.

I went on a first date last night and was confused with an interesting situation.

In a very open, honest, and respectful way, he told me that he was divorced, not a big deal, and that his marriage had a number of issues.

But at the end of the day, he was unfaithful to his wife, leading to their divorce.

Now, what does one do with this information?

Run fast for your mother?

It was just a first date, so I don't even know how I feel about him or the situation.

But as a general rule of thumb, should we be giving cheaters a second chance?

People make mistakes, but also once a cheater, always a cheater.

Would love your thoughts.

P.S.

I'm submitting this to good guys too because I do think the girlies and guys might look at this differently.

I do hope that they pick yours because I'd love to know their advice because I too am conflicted.

I don't so broad, too.

I don't have like strong opinions about cheating because I just haven't experienced it enough to like,

I don't have the experience to say like, oh, that's just a character flond.

Like he'll always be that way.

I, a part of me, you know, the forgiving, naive part of me wants to be like, people can change.

Right.

But to cheat on your wife.

I think I

am like in a phase where I'm very much like

you like, I can't believe you would believe that they're not going to like cheat on you.

I'm like, no, like, run.

Like, but like, obviously, like, now, like, you know, saying it into a microphone, I'm like, no, but, like, there's like the exceptions to the rule.

And, like, people can change and all this stuff.

But, like, when it's like my friends in real life, I'm like, don't be a dumb bitch.

He's going to cheat on you.

I hate this man.

If this was your friend, that's why I was like, if it was, if it was my friend, and especially like, I think when there's like kids involved, that's when I get like really psycho.

I'm like, absolutely not.

Like he is a piece of shit who just like ruined his children's life and his family's life and his wife and all this stuff.

But then I'm like thinking about like maybe like a young,

like a young person with no kids and like maybe it was a mistake and like you're like met this P jump and like you're like having a great time.

Like maybe I would be like, wait, no guys, like he'll change.

So it's like, I can't go, like, I'm like, I don't know.

No, and like some people cheat and ruin their lives so completely that they never want to do it again.

Like it's the biggest mistake they've ever made.

They've learned the hard way.

Like everyone knows not to cheat, but until you really like feel the pain of like what that means, you might not really understand why cheating is so bad.

But like I think it's possible that he could have had that experience where like he lost, I mean, his relationship obviously had other issues, but like that it was the biggest mistake of his life.

It was the biggest learning lesson.

And I do think someone like that like wouldn't do it again.

That reminds me of Freddy from Love is Blind UK.

He was like, seriously?

Oh, that, see, that's a great example.

Like, that's a great example.

If you went out with Freddie from Love is Lion UK, like, yes, he cheated in the past.

I don't care.

No, like, he's an amazing example.

When he said that, I was like, no, like, you're fine.

You're fine.

Like, you're good.

Like, give him a chance.

You could see how it tore him up exactly.

And he, like, hated himself.

Perfect example, truly.

So I would say, on the one hand, it's one date.

Like, why are we having these like really hard questions and like worrying about it?

He was honest about it, too.

He was honest about it.

But like, if you're really so worried about this, and maybe some people have like cheating trauma where it's like, well, now you know he's a cheater and you like are always worried about getting cheated on.

Maybe you guys aren't right for each other because like your baggage and his baggage like don't match.

But like someone who's coming in open to cheating, like not open to cheating.

I'm really open to cheating.

Not traumatized by cheating.

It's not that he's worried about cheating.

It's like more of a, it's like has ability to be a little bit more trusting.

Maybe it would be a better match for him.

So maybe at this stage, like maybe you guys shouldn't even go into liking each other because maybe these issues will come up.

But if like you got like a Freddy from Love is Buying UK vibe from him where this was like the biggest mistake he ever made and like

it was good because it taught him that he will never cheat again.

And also there's like emotional cheating and the physical cheating.

So like maybe he just like got drunk and like hooked up and like, oh my God, whatever.

Like there is so many caveats to it.

But I think Freddy from Love is Blind is the...

the map for you.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

But he could also be the exception to the rule.

And like most likely.

Everyone thinks they're the exception to the rule.

I know.

And as someone that you're not the exception to the rule, I'm like, no, please, like, don't.

You're the exception to which rule?

To getting pregnant and then getting married after and like and actually having like a really incredible fiancé and like amazing like love story like guys like it got really lucky like don't know like what karma i deserved but like everyone else i'm like don't trust it don't do it don't trust it yeah i'm like don't do it how long were you matt together before you got pregnant i don't know like

four or five six months yeah like not long reminds me of lindsay hubbard a little bit do you relate to her I mean, not really.

I love her.

No, just I'm saying, like, I mean, they were, like, just, I, I think

they just broke up?

Because they, well, yes, but I think they weren't compatible.

And I think that

I think that watching her on reality TV and watching her kind of feel the same way about every single guy.

And so I just couldn't like really trust what she was saying.

And then we like didn't get to meet him.

Right.

So you didn't see me.

So I was like, I didn't like, yeah, I didn't see how he would be different.

So I wasn't sure.

That type of vibe.

Yeah.

I understand.

So you're saying you wouldn't recommend people do it this way.

It's obviously worked out for you, but like you're the exception.

Correct.

But I don't believe in like everyone's the exceptions because don't girl, we're girls no i'm just a girl of course i think i'm gonna be the exception to the rule you know no but like odds just numbers wise like you're probably not gonna be the exception and if this isn't like the great love of your life just like no and it's one date like okay unless it's like a tiny town he's the only single person trust your gut yeah trust your gut but i just want to say like it's possible that people can change yeah it's hard but sure next um a little bridal advice we need from miss xle my fiancé is from south carolina and comes from a very traditional southern family.

I have been looking at wedding dresses and I am concerned that they will think whatever I choose isn't appropriate.

We are getting married in the church for a reference.

I'm not looking for anything too sexy or revealing, but I like an open back or a sleeveless dress.

How should I approach this?

Thanks, Swirlies.

Approach it to who?

To approach it to whatever she picks out.

She's just this like nervous.

Is open back too revealing for a church?

I don't, I don't think so.

I mean, like, I've had friends get married with like strapless, like, I think it just, like, depends on, like, you're, like, I've had one friend, like, where we all had to wear like little shawls, or like, you can wear something and like cover it up and then, like, take it off after you leave church.

I think it just depends on, like, your church, your preferences, like stuff like that.

But I feel like she, like, said, like, the family thing about the family.

And, like, another thing that, like, I think being a mom and being older has made me, I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

Like,

yeah.

Like, what?

Like, oh, you're going to, like, run it by your mother-in-law, like your mom, like your aunt, like your crazy aunt.

like bye like i don't care come if you want come or don't i would say go with the dress that like you feel best in because everyone has like a certain shape that suits their body yeah whatever open back is like yeah and what i will also say and something that i did is like for my ceremony and like being married under a hoopah my dress was uh strapless and then i i had like i used part of like the tool to give me um

like a little to cover my my chest and my arms I can't remember if I wound up wearing that for the ceremony.

I think I might have forgotten it and and then like didn't care, but that was my plan.

I think a lot of people are going to be able to do that.

It's a good idea, though, to use the stuff from your dress.

Yeah, is to like put something, cover you in the church.

And I think that will like signal that you're being respectful.

And then for the party, you get to wear the dress that you want.

But like, you do want to be respectful in a church.

You obviously like have reverence for your religion and you don't want to show up in something that's inappropriate.

But I think maybe like covering up or, you know, a shawl, a shrug.

There are a lot of different things.

If you go to a bridal salon and you say, like, how could I make this more modest for half the day?

They will help you do that.

They can use material that they've cut from the back and like make you something.

Um, and then for the party, you're wearing the dress that you want.

I feel like that's like a good solution.

And it shows that, like, you have respect and you like care about what they think, and you don't, you're not trying to like piss them off and like shame them, but it also shows that you're your own person, right?

And you, like, you're clearly asking.

So, like, you already care.

Yeah.

It's not like you're like someone start off your marriage, you know, throwing up two middle fingers.

I'm just someone that's up where I'm like, okay, like you have to stop the people pleasing at some point where it's like, you know, the, I'm sure your open back dress isn't like down to your like butt crack.

Like you're like crack might like, like I've worn dresses like that where it's like, whoa, this is like really low.

So I'm sure it's like probably like not even that like scandalous or you wouldn't even be considering wearing it.

Yeah.

And if you're worried about like what other people at the wedding will think about that, that's going to trickle into every single decision you make for your wedding anyway.

What are they going to think about the food?

What are they going to think about it?

It's like at some point like the the main thing about the wedding that I always go back to is like, this is about me and Matt.

I naturally like love hosting people and going to take care of everyone, but like, ultimately, like, I'm going to take care of everyone in our way.

Like, it's about just like getting married to the love of your life.

And if you have to like wear a shrug at church because you're getting married in the church, that's cool too.

Yeah.

Like, it's fine.

And I think, like, for most of the things about a wedding, you're doing it for other people.

Like, you want music they're going to like, food they're going to eat.

The dress is the one thing that's for you and you alone.

And it's like the complete representation of like who you are.

So go with the dress that you want.

Even if it's open back, like, what about a veil that's like really long and covers your back?

That's a good idea, too.

And then you take it off outside the church, and like, mama's having a fun night out.

I think that you could be flexible on this and like applease everyone while also not losing yourself.

I just can't imagine that the dress is like too scandalous either.

I feel like it's probably just like maybe like a little bit of skin and you're just like nervous.

But I think we get like you gave good veil,

trug,

yeah.

My love.

I don't, I need to look at my ceremony pictures.

I think I wore it, but it was just tool wrapped around my chest.

Yeah.

And my whole dress was tool.

It's super cute.

Love.

And then you have like two different looks.

Yeah.

I love it.

Next one.

This is from a new mama.

Good morning.

I heard a feller toaster on a previous deer toasters who was still pregnant and not having sex, which made me write in.

Yes.

And I remember we had a someone, she was like seven months pregnant and like she didn't want to have sex.

And she was

wanted to know if like she was being crazy.

So this made her write in.

She said, I'm seven months postpartum.

My husband and I haven't had sex since we conceived.

It took us a while to get pregnant.

So sex for a while became a chore and emotionally exhausting.

I don't feel in the mood quite literally ever or comfortable in my new body.

I have stretch marks on my belly, weight gain, etc.

And I know I just grew and birthed an actual human, but somehow I feel so guilty and feel like this is not fair to my husband.

So, oh, to not be having sex with him.

Now, we're so far out, it's awkward to even initiate or speak on it.

Help, do I just bite the bullet and take one for the team with the lights off, of course, or just wait it out till I'm comfortable in my new body and get the urge again?

Thanks.

A postpartum, tired, and sexless toaster.

This is tough.

This is tough.

Because it's like,

you don't want to be like, yeah, just like go like do it.

But I feel like sometimes like as a girl, you almost have to like initiate and just start so that you like end up in the mood and you like end up getting there.

Yeah.

Because seven months, like, I mean, it took me a while because I met all my situation downstairs.

Right.

And it's like, you, I still don't feel, I'm like, what?

She'll be two.

I still don't feel like 100% like great about everything going on down there, especially when it comes to like having sex.

It's like, oh my God, like, you know, you have like trauma, like of something like getting ripped out of your body and like you're like self-conscious.

But I mean, after seven months, I feel like you actually might not realize it might make you actually feel more connected to your husband and feel good.

And like it might be a little bit more in your head.

Maybe you have to get out of your own way almost.

That's what I, I think there's like two things, like one, like not being like comfortable in your body, which it's like, but we all feel that way.

And it's, it's not the greatest feeling, but that's why he's your husband.

Like he loves you for who you are.

And I think he can appreciate your body for for what it's given him.

And I imagine that he's a good man.

So like you have to get it out of your head about that.

But it also, I guess, you're like back in this like awkward stage of like, how do you initiate it?

And I feel like doing something like special, like maybe a little trip, maybe a weekend sexy trip, maybe a, you could always like go out to dinner and like try.

But I think like Martin, not just like one night trying to like stir something up, but like getting overall like in the mood of like just being flirty with each other and going on a date and like setting the mood.

Sometimes it's like the lead up of the entire day before you have sex at night that's actually like the for of like just like being more flirtatious in the morning and like making little comments like setting the stage of like oh like she's like into this like making like little jokes and it could even if like if you were like okay well i don't have a babysitter i can't take a trip i can't do this like just like light a bunch of candles like there's like candles that are like ten dollars on amazon like just something that you're like trying to like make yourself feel more in the mood if that's what you want or for for me it's literally just like I have to communicate.

It's like you have to figure out like what your thing is that makes you feel comfortable.

And sometimes mine is like either just going for it or communicating like, hey, I got to tell, I got to get this off my chest.

I got to tell you how I'm feeling.

Cause then it's like it's released.

Like I've been feeling self-conscious.

I don't, I haven't felt like having sex.

I feel really guilty because I want you to know that I love you and I do feel like having sex with you.

That's, I mean, communication, it's always like down there on the

projectile.

No, that's also a nice idea.

I guess it depends what kind of like, some people don't like to talk about these things.

And so it depends on like your communication style and like and your relationship.

But if you just want to like do a grand gesture, and I think doing like a trip or something, I mean, it just, I guess at seven months, like it's possible.

If you have like good child care or like family that can watch your baby, like you can go away for like two nights, even one night.

Like that's your way of communicating.

Like, I think we need this.

And then it's like, just message receive.

I'm like, assuming that he's a peach, he's very patient and like he's been giving me time and space and like he deserves a little love.

And like you will feel better after.

Right.

Like you have, you're going to have to force yourself to like create the s the

conditions.

Yeah.

But I think once you're in those, like vacations are romantic.

A dinner is like spending one-on-one time with your partner after you have a seven-month-old and just been through newborn trenches.

Like you will feel differently if you like take a moment to get out of your routine, get all dressed up like

and feel special.

And we're not telling you that you have to have sex, by the way.

If you don't feel like having sex, don't do it.

But I think communicating is a good idea.

Yeah, I think don't feel bad that you haven't had sex yet.

I think everybody is different and everybody's body is different.

So don't be like, oh my God, wait, like I should have like rode into deer toasters like three months ago and like done this already.

Like, no, like you're good.

Seven months postpartum is like really not that good.

It's really not crazy.

But it's a good time to get back into it.

Right.

But I think, I think it's like the push you need is just being like, okay, like I actually like want to feel connected to my husband.

Yeah.

And maybe like you want to have another baby.

Maybe you want to have a baby.

Start.

Get back on that horse.

See how it rides for the second time

who knows

like think about it as like oh i want another baby guess i gotta fuck yeah sometimes that's what is that's what does it yeah and that could be the like the motivating factor for you yeah whatever gets you back on the horse yeah giddy up my girly swirly but if all else fails talking about it and letting him know that like you know that this is probably not his favorite and like that you're wanting to like work on things and get to a better place about it it.

Like, I think he would appreciate that too.

If like, no one's saying anything about it.

Yeah, and it's like, it's not like men understand women postpartum.

So, it's like he probably has like no idea what's going on.

For me, I'm going to be like, I want you to know how hard this is for me.

Like, do you not understand how different I feel on my body?

I'm like, I'm communicating to like all of that making you feel bad for me.

Like, to him, like, you look the same.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

He, like, dude, like, I was going to be really vulgar for a second, but like, he just wants to fuck, dude.

Like, you're good.

He's not like looking at like your belly now, but like, really, you look the same to him.

Yeah, you're fine.

You're great actually.

You're great.

Make it fun.

And if you don't want to do it, like just communicate it.

But if you do, like

you know, plan a little week

during the day.

That would also just like means so much to him.

Even if like whatever happens on your little trip, but like if you went to the effort of like finding child care for one or two nights, getting a hotel, like planning a little trip.

Yeah.

I don't know where you guys live, but like if they're a little beach fait, whatever.

Oh my God, if I did that, Matt would be like,

oh my God.

Oh my God, like head over heels.

The last 15 months of sexless life washed away.

Oh, and ready.

I know what I'm doing when I get home.

Well, good luck to you.

Please, anyone, if anyone ever wants to send us an update, that would always be much appreciated.

Want to know when you fuck.

Let us know.

Let us know when it goes, how it goes.

Thank you so much, Lauren Elizabeth, for your help with the Toasters community.

Absolutely.

For today's episode, this was so much fun.

And you're back with me tomorrow because we have another slumber party tonight.

You're going to be at my house.

We have a big day.

We have a big day.

So you'll be joining me again tomorrow.

So sorry.

And we're going to have a ball.

Oh, my goodness.

Such a classic toasty energy.

CTE.

Yes.

Well, thank you so much for having me.

CTE.

Well, thank you so much for having me.

I'm going to go.

Where can everyone follow you?

Lauren Elizabeth on everything.

You can shop laurenelizabethshop.com, get yourself some cute home decor.

We're a little sold out right now, but we got some good things coming.

Can't wait.

Well, we love you all, and we will see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.