Jowsey in Wonderland: The Toast, Wednesday, May 7th, 2025

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Good morning, girlies.

It's the toast.

It's Jackson Jackson Claude, and we're your host.

It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday.

It is hump day, and I don't really feel like humping anyone I love today because I'm just kind of being bogged down with all the hate I received yesterday.

The vitriol, once again, being thrown my way by the GTQ.

I'm B, I'm being canceled by my own community, the DTQ.

Well, that's why right now we're going into Deer Toasters.

We are doing Deer Toasters today.

We also have the Valley recap.

I've worked my way up to Deer Toasters.

Like, I can't just raw dog it.

No, of course not.

We are holding space for two things.

We will be doing the Valley recap and Deer Toasters today.

It's not our fault.

Honestly, it's Ada Winter's fault.

If you want to take your vitriol and your pitchforks, like take it to her.

Yeah.

They're like, well, I would have rather had our 20 of Deer Toasters than the Met Gala.

It's just not how the show works.

That's not what.

So we should just cancel the toast and do a show called Dear Toasters.

And every day, it'll be Deer Toasters.

Jackie, don't give them ideas.

So we are not going to dilly dally.

We have lots to discuss today.

Jax, brief check-in with you.

How you doing?

I'm doing good, I guess.

I'm like nervous.

I guess I won't talk about, not that I really did much yesterday worth mentioning, but now I feel pressure.

I feel like this feels like how it used to be in the pink backdrop studio.

When I watch back old episodes, not that I do that often, the pre-fast five banter is two minutes.

Well, because we were like that non-interesting, like we weren't developed podcasts.

I wasn't.

I wasn't.

I was so

gorgeous and thin.

You were gorgeous.

Yeah.

I was like a kala.

I was an en fiance.

I got married.

I was working out.

She had kulas.

And well, maybe I was just like always working out and like counting calories and I didn't have that much to share.

But today, I think I'm going to make a soup.

I've been feeling like soup.

Doesn't that sound?

Well, you don't like soup, so don't answer that.

And don't like, don't make it sound yucky.

Okay, so I'll just, I won't speak.

Great, that's what you wanted.

Yeah, oh, that's true.

I did want to say one thing.

Yesterday, like, was one of the days where I got home from the toast and genuinely collapsed, like collapsed until five o'clock.

And then I woke up at five o'clock, like panic sweeper mode.

Like, I need to have today have been like a productive day.

So, you know,

so I actually started packing my hospital bag.

Which I think some people like pack like months in advance, but I feel like now is an appropriate time.

Um,

I started off with like a innocently, like with a duffel.

No, tacky dove.

It was actually Louis Vuitton, you know, but that's only because that's the only duffel I have, you know?

Damn, it's gonna swipe your hospital bag.

1000%, but also I had to unpack it because nothing fit.

So

now everything's just sort of laid out on the couch, and I'll find the proper vessel.

at some point.

But I did a con and I also packed Romeo's things.

Romeo's actually, it's kind of sad.

Me and Romeo have been, we've been on a a really good, you know, healing journey.

I'm trying not to miss moments of his childhood, but he is going to be spending a significant amount of time out of the house.

He's going to be at his grandparents, obviously.

So I had to pack up his things.

Yeah.

You know, his treats, his wellness products from Wagwell.

He's a brand ambassador.

He's got, I had to also pack his tripod because he's obviously like a, he's an influencer too.

So I had to pack a lot of his things, his treats from Wagwell, his pop protectors from Wagwell.

He can't go through withdrawals.

Withdrawals.

So it was just kind of emotional packing day for me and Romeo.

I understand.

Are you worried about like Romeo inclimating?

No, no, no, Romeo and the baby.

I feel like when I was having a baby, so many people were like, bro, what about Bruno?

Bruno handles it like a champion as he does everything.

I'm not worried.

Maybe it's also because like I know in my heart, like if anything were like to go wrong, Ben's parents would rehome Romeo.

That's how I felt about Bruno and you.

That's, I'm not looking to rehome, by the way.

It's just nice to know what you know I was hoping.

No, no, no, no.

But it's nice to know you have like a really legit sense of business.

Somebody's looking to rehome Romeo.

I'm not.

I'm not.

But like if we needed more time, they would take him for months.

Like, they would, they love, he stays there all the time.

He's so happy there.

You have to do the hospital blanket thing where you like give Bowie's blankets to them to keep in his crate and let him get cozy.

But like, Bruno became a big brother at the same age that Romeo is becoming a big brother.

Yeah.

And he was fantastic.

I mean, King Charles Cavaliers are the best breed of dogs for children.

It's just like 100%.

So I think it's going to be wonderful.

Yeah.

So in addition to like slaying the Met Gala recap yesterday, I also packed my hospital bag, which I feel like for a girl who's now once pregnant, like slay.

I did, like, I'm just trying to like get things done every day, you know?

In every way.

And to slay while doing it.

Slay all day.

All day, every day.

I do slay.

I like that little hand.

I do slay.

This does feel like dilly dallying.

I'm just letting you know.

This feels a lot like dilly dallying, but we had to do something.

You can't just raw a dog into the stories, into the ads.

What you sign into the toast and you get hit with the ads.

You need a little schmooze.

I know.

You do need a little schmooze.

Anything else you want to chit-chat about?

No, I'm scared of you.

Yeah, and I'm scared of the DTQ.

Just know, like, the fear you feel through osmosis is from the DTQ.

You need to be more scared of me than you are of them.

No, Jackie.

You don't understand the vitriol that was in my DMs.

Like, you'll never understand.

And like, I, like, while I understand the DTQ, because I am one of them, they're starting to lose me.

Like, yeah.

They hate, but

they're giving Jelina.

It's giving bots.

Oh, actually, not to be like beating a dead horse.

I did see, you know, The Guardian wrote up an article about

like this whole Justin Baldoni.

No, I saw TikTok about it.

This whole Justin Baldoni, whatever, yada, yada.

And it was like

an article like any other.

But there was a really interesting statistic.

They had like an expert on there analyzing all the content on social media, the different hashtags and it was presumed by this expert that like over 80 of pro bail donate content is inorganic

okay cool which i thought was interesting obviously i'm just trying content that's like using hashtags is probably inorganic but it was it wasn't an analysis just on hashtags it was an analysis on like the entire saga on social media got it That's I thought people would find that interesting.

That's like a trend.

Yeah, paying for.

I don't know who's paying for it, but I just think maybe maybe it's even like Mark Zuckerberg just like acting like his platforms are more bussing than they are.

You know, like I don't even know what you think it's a vanity thing.

No, I just it's coming from somewhere because this happened.

It happens with every conversation.

It's just like the dregs.

Like these aren't people.

And to what end?

These aren't people.

But these are people.

And these are,

yeah, I was just gonna say that.

These aren't spirit fingers.

These are spirit fingers.

And these are golden.

golden.

That was the perfect reference.

Cliff.

And I think the perfect way to segue.

I think you've been appropriately schmoozed and dallied.

We can dive into the fast five stories that you that do need to know.

We can dip, dodge, dip, dive, and dodge into the fast five stories that are brought to you.

We're going to dump, dip, dive, and dodge the DTQ community.

Brought to you by Wayfair.

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What can I

say?

Our first story, Dochi is going viral and receiving backlash for videos that have emerged of her flipping out on her team as she attempted to hide her Met Gala look.

So we actually commended Dochi for not having seen her look before she arrived on the Met Gala red carpet.

And now we are seeing what went into concealing her look.

And it was a lot of expletives and yelling at the people on her team.

Yeah.

So Dochi had a diva moment ahead of her Met Gala debut on Monday, snapping at her team when they failed to properly conceal her ensemble.

According to a video posted on TikTok, there was like two videos at least, right?

I saw more than that.

I saw one long one.

It was just somebody following her out of the elevator and it gets worse and worse and worse.

She curses at her team, say, I need more fucking umbrellas.

Every other word is the F-bomb.

Give me another umbrella now.

I need four fucking umbrellas.

So she's in this like enclosure that doesn't have a, it's like a hookah, but it doesn't have a roof.

So she's asking for umbrellas.

Right.

She's no, so it doesn't have a roof.

She's asking for the umbrellas to be like

inside the tent so that nobody can like stick their phone up and in, like kind of like a bathroom stall.

That's what it looked like.

And so while I understand why she was asking for it.

And umbrellas for the rain.

Oh, yeah.

Even though the umbrella was covered.

She has security.

Oh, I was thinking it was so that nobody saw her look.

It was both, but also like the rain, she doesn't want to get wet.

Yeah, you know what?

Yeah, like usually if you hold, if you're not in an enclosure, the person holding your umbrella can see the areas that they're missing of you, but they couldn't see her.

So she needed full coverage.

Now, the how, the why, the who, what, when, where, like, is actually not important.

Um, I'm trying to find an angle where like I can defend Dochi because I really like Dochi and I loved her look.

And I understand not wanting anyone to see and like showing up at your best, but I'm sorry.

There is no

world, no scenario, there's no detailed context you could give me where it would be okay to speak to people like this.

Like it is abhorrent.

Yes, I have a couple thoughts.

Like, one, of all the people who could have just like run out to the van in their outfit, it would have been her.

So chill.

Literally wearing shorts and sneakers.

No one else could possibly walk like they're wearing these extravagant things.

Like, she could have like grabbed an, she could have put a raincoat over herself.

Like, her outfit was just more movable than other people.

So, like, if anyone was just going to tail it to the van, could have been her.

That's a great point.

Also, conversation we had yesterday about the Carlisle, the mark, I forget which hotel she was at, but she was at one of the ones.

She was at one of the ones where paparazzi media and fans stand outside.

And if that is not something you wanted, there are people who showed up.

I don't know where the hell they stayed.

Maybe they have their own apartments, but I didn't see pictures of them at the mark.

So like you're staying at the mark at the Carlisle intentionally to get those photos.

It's a second media moments.

For some people, that's what they want.

So to make this whole Coffre Diavre drama balagan, when like you knowingly are at the exact place where these things types happen like you're in the wrong and then when you're talking to people like that like no yeah I also think it's extra bad because the way she's talking to people is so incongruous with the way like she is public facing like we watched her interview on the carpet and she was just like so sweet and so positive.

No, no, no, but like

to another level and it's like well this is what you are like in private like it's just so off brand like if it were Mariah Carrie doing this like it really wouldn't be that shocking and and that newsworthy if just why Mariah Carrie's a diva again but she owns it don't she I don't know if she's pretending to be like like because this is not just like I'm in a bad so normal by the way everyone at the Met Gallot was in a bad mood was frustrated like they've been the rain the traffic the waiting the waiting like it it's like when someone steps on their dress like everybody is giving death glare sabrina kim like everybody's in a bad mood it seriously looked fucking miserable this is beyond that like agreed swearing like and this is beyond being like short or curt like i need umbrellas like the fuckings the the way that and those are people on her team it's not like and she knows there she knows that there's people around and this is still how she is so she's not even like this is how she talks in private like this is how she talks in the public adjacent i think maybe you expect this type of behavior from somebody who's like you know an og you know someone who's been doing this for a long time doji is is seriously like at this level of fame for three months and it's just it's a quick i mean it's just it's a quick transition i didn't expect it if you would have told me we we would have caught like a hot mic moment of somebody being an absolute bitch and a half to their entire staff, I never would have guessed her.

She's too new.

She's so real and like raw.

And she's like, I don't know.

When I saw her speech at the Grammys, I was like, cutesy.

Cutesy, exactly.

I never would have expected this.

And I'm sorry.

Like, they're, like, I was looking for one, desperately searching, but there's no excuse.

Like, there is no excuse.

And I just think like now, I think rather than like, be phony and like act like this didn't happen or trying to i think she should just like lean into this side of herself this diva era yeah because I think otherwise it'll continue to come up like and I think that's what people hate when they find out that someone in private Ellen JDN someone in private is like so nasty but their public persona is so cheery right like Naomi Campbell Mariah Carrey like you expect this right it's it's congruous with their diva like public facing

you were saying like Miranda Lambert when she was yelling at these fans like yeah Miranda yells at people that's so Miranda.

Yeah.

It hurts more when you're a fan of someone who's like, whole, even though Jochi's whole persona is not like kindness, JVN, Ellen, like they were platforms built on kindness.

Joji's just more real.

And she's like really young and new.

And she's like, she gives off this vibe that she's like so grateful for all the success that she's having.

So it just, it was not what we were expecting.

Yeah.

No, it would be like if Sabrina.

Like, I feel like Sabrina's been like at, you know, here, like at the top of her game for a couple more months, but like her overall energy is like very positive and happy and cheery.

Yes, but Sabrina's like been in the industry in an official capacity, not at the way she, the level she's at now, for a while.

So maybe like in the beginning, maybe it's like

growing pigs.

And it really wouldn't be the biggest deal who's like kind of similar.

It's like Chappelle.

1,000%.

You know what I mean?

So that's why.

I could see Chappell talking to people like this.

And like she set us up so that like we won't be shocked when we hear it.

So this was shocking because Yoji's like a cutie.

Yeah.

She seems like a nice girl.

And not good.

I think like I'm sure her fans are really upset about this.

And

it's trying to because it's really bad.

It's like.

No, you guys, the video never ends.

The cursing never ends.

And it's like, I couldn't even make out everything she was saying.

I kind of need it transcribed because the only like things I can't fucking umbrella.

Fucking, fucking, fucking.

Fuck my fuck.

But there's like more stuff that she's saying, but it's very loud, so I couldn't hear everything.

I do think there are a couple of lessons from Dochi here.

One of them being if you you do go to the mech-al again like stay at a random facility like don't go to one of those like three hotels that everybody stands outside of you know she could have put on a huge poncho

and high tailed it to the car

you know yeah of course she wanted a moment oh you think so well yeah because while the umbrellas were for the rain that entrapment the enclosure that she found herself in was

so nobody got a picture of it

on the carpet but like do you think she also also wanted this moment of like, dochi's going stealth mode?

No, no, no.

This is not a good look for anyone.

Well, actually, it was until we heard the audio.

Yeah.

Because yesterday, we literally clipped yesterday.

Like, good for Dochi.

She made it out of the mark without anyone seeing her.

That aged poorly.

Big time.

Got to delete the clip.

Michael's milk.

Literally.

Delete.

So I think she'll be fine.

I think she's like talented enough to weather this storm.

It's just like unfortunate for her.

And she also shouldn't speak to people like that.

That would also be a good lesson, but I feel like it's just how she speaks.

Agreed.

Choke.

Are you ready for our next sort?

It's actually something that I just saw that actually had me shocked.

What?

The Golden Globes is adding a best podcast category beginning in 2026.

Okay, where do we sign up?

So organizers of the Golden Globes on Wednesday said that the ceremony will introduce a best podcast category beginning with the 83rd Globes in 2026.

So not not this year.

So don't worry.

However, okay.

So we have a year to like become the best podcast.

Listen, the recognition for the burgeoning medium will mark a first for major film and TV award shows to date.

Podcasts have been recognized mostly in digital forward award shows like the Webbies, the Ambies, the iHeart Awards, the Shorties.

Other

awards that have podcast categories include the Peabody Awards, which we could win a lot.

Where's our Peabody?

The details are few about criteria for the new category.

According to the Globes today, the top 25 podcasts will qualify for consideration.

So you've got to be top 25.

According to what metric,

I wonder which charts they'll pull from.

Like, I don't know, chartable.

Chartable, I think, is a, like,

an aggregate of all the platforms.

And, like, sometimes we are top 25.

Sometimes.

But sometimes, like, if a lot of people are launching new shows, you know, we're not 25.

You need a chartable login called

Sometimes we're like 18 overall.

Not that I check so frequently.

No, I never, ever check, and I don't even care.

I just kind of remembered that from the last time I checked yesterday.

In 2024, Chartable is shutting down.

Oh, that's why I couldn't get in.

That's funny.

So, how will they measure?

I don't know, but that's up to them.

That's very interesting.

I think the Golden Globes are kind of doing the most recently because they were pretty much taken off air.

Like, they were a flop of an award show.

I think they like lost all their funding.

And there was this movement within Hollywood to like get it back on TV and start.

And so people have been like trying to make it a thing.

And I do think like you have to lean in.

And in terms of like media people are consuming, that's podcast right now.

So I actually think this is quite brilliant.

It's obviously a huge step, small step for Golden Globes, huge step for podcaster kind.

So the top 25 podcasts will qualify for consideration with a total of six final nominations for the category.

Eligibility requirements for those rankings and other details will be announced in the coming weeks.

So I wonder if they're going to focus more on like scripted podcasts, you know, like the ones that are like dramatized.

Yeah.

Like I don't see Joe Rogan winning.

Even though the top 25 podcasts, I think maybe there's one scripted one in there.

All the popular podcasts right now are interview formats.

They're conversational.

So if they're only going to be doing scripted ones, that's quite limiting in terms of like popular podcasts.

Yeah.

Of the top 25 right now, of which we are not in the top 25 podius, we need to step our pussies up for 2020.

Oh my God, I'm sick from this news.

We're not.

Oh, Oh, you know who would win?

On Apple, you know who would win?

Like Smartless.

You know what they deserve, but it's not there because they could win a Golden Globe for other stuff.

Like, this is our shot at EGOT.

It's so true.

And I hope that the Grammys just the Golden Globes just keep that in consideration.

Like, don't give it to people who could win the Golden Globe for acting.

Right, like Jason Bateman probably has one.

They all probably have one.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give it to I love this.

Bill Simmons.

Sure.

Give it to Bill.

Give it to like a podcaster by trade.

Give it to crying junkie.

You know?

Give Ashley Flowers her flowers.

Like, give it to one of the OGs.

Doesn't even have to be us.

I literally, in a million years, never expect it to be us.

Please play this one.

No, no.

Please play this when we win.

Please win.

I never will expect for it to be us.

Like, seriously, but I do want it to be like a tried and true podcaster.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Like, if it goes to Conan, I'm not down.

Like, if you're a SAG member, I'm not down.

Agreed.

Agreed.

SAG members need not apply.

That's my thoughts on this, but I think this is really exciting for the industry.

I agree.

It's like another notch in our belt, you know, of legitimacy.

A.

Oh.

Yeah.

So we'll see you in 2026, perhaps.

Oh, you'll be seeing us.

Okay.

Are you going to start like really gearing up, doing lots of marketing, billboards?

Don't ask questions.

We're vying for a Golden Globe.

Yeah.

For your consideration.

Yeah.

Oh, let's do it.

Well, we have over a year to get to the next stage.

To at least wait for the photo shoot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes, we're making great time.

I'm monitoring the clock.

We're going to get to dear toasters.

Like I just know it.

Two of my faves.

Kristen Cavallari reveals Harry Jousey sent her an explicit photo of his wiener.

I saw the trailer for her new reality show.

I believe that's where this rumor comes from.

Yes, the trailer for her new e-docuseries,

Honestly, sick for them, sick for page six, Honestly Cavalier, the headline tour, came out on Monday and it's a preview for her new show, which is a docuseries chronicling her podcast tour.

She has a bunch of guests and Harry Jousey is one of them and she said that Harry Jousey sent her a dick pic and that it's gigantic.

I believe it.

Yeah.

I ship.

How about that?

The way Harry Chouzy had Francesca Farago like throwing hundreds of thousands of dollars out the window on that season of Too Hot to Handle, you know, he had to have like the biggest schlong on the planet.

Yeah.

And I feel like he's somebody who has big dick energy and a big dick.

Like got the

dick to back it up.

The equipment.

Like sometimes people are like BDE and they have a micropenis, you know?

I could see Harry Chousey holding space for both things.

BDE and BD.

Yeah.

BDIR.

He's very tall.

Big dick itself.

BDIR.

Big dick in reality.

yeah well christian i wonder if they've ever hooked up i feel like harry jousey has hooked up with everyone like seriously yeah he is kind of like the like the lower celebrity tier version of pete davidson it's true we need harry jousey's memoirs memoirs of a jousey memoirs of a jousey and he needs to write them now before he forgets everything he's experienced in the last five years but i actually think he hooks up with a lot of celebrities and like can't really talk about it because no one would want to continue hooking up with him.

Like, I do think he hooked up with Chloe Kardashian.

I do.

You do.

I do.

Like, why wouldn't she?

Just like for fun.

Well, I think that she should.

I don't think that they did, but I think maybe like the podcasting orbit might bring them together.

Oh, Jowsy in Wonderland.

Jowsy in Wonderland.

I love that.

Yeah, like they'll, that's how they'll get together.

Yeah, you know, she'll do enough shows that she's like, okay, who else is doing shows?

And

they're both on

the timeline.

Yeah.

So

let's just manifest that.

And I'm just pitching the idea.

Jowzy in Wonderland is today's podcast title.

I'm just pitching it.

I love it.

We'll see if anything better comes along, but that's something I could see people seeing and being like, I got to listen.

How did they get here?

And how do they get out?

To be determined.

We're about to find out.

Well, I'm excited for Kristen's new show.

If Kristen

has no fans, I'm dead.

Same for Harry Jowsy.

That's why I'm glad that these two came together.

It felt like a story for me.

But weirdly, every Kristen's story feels like a story for me.

This is a good concept for a show.

And I'm happy for E because they're just like a network that literally cannot get arrested when it comes to like making decent content and having shows that are remotely successful.

And they like, they decided to invest in Kristen Cavalieri a couple of years ago.

And I think it's an investment that's paid off tremendously.

And I think that this is a great concept.

Yes.

And it's the smartlist concept.

So let's give them their flowers.

Yeah, I guess it is a smartlist concept.

Sure.

And bring back Shannon.

Bring back Shannon.

Get Shannon on Honestly Cavalier, whatever the show.

Let's be honest.

Yeah, I think it's time, but it's also so funny how, like, they're so intertwined, Kristen and Shannon, because that, like, Shannon was on Very Cavalier.

If you didn't know that, which I feel like a lot of people know, they just know her as an influencer and podcast, right?

But she got her start as like the big bad villain on Very Cavalier.

That's where I met Shannon because you know, I watched every episode of Very Cavalier.

And Shannon, I believe, has done a couple of podcast episodes, like breaking down her time on the show.

yeah um

but we need we need kristen like the way that like lauren

went on back to the beach with her and steven we need shannon to go on or you know they both live in nashville too it's so easy manifest

putting it out there um

are you ready for our next story

four four

yeah

tom brady went on logan paul's podcast

Tom Brady.

Oh my God.

I thought you said Tom.

Okay, sorry.

Do you know who Tom Brady is?

I do, but I heard something entirely different.

What'd you hear?

You know, we know someone named Tom Graney.

Okay.

He helped us build our studio.

And I'm like, Tom Graney went on a podcast.

That's amazing.

He's doing big things.

Yeah.

Tom Brady went on Logan Paul's podcast and expresses more regret over the roast of Tom Brady.

He said it was hard on his own.

Oh my God.

Like, this was one of the worst decisions he ever made.

I never really realized.

Well, I didn't watch watch the roast and I don't like keep up with Tom Brady in the news, but then I saw this again and he was talking to Logan Paul.

So I clicked.

And you know, Giselle like fucking hated it.

Oh, what?

Tomorrow, new episode of Paul American drops.

Ooh, second to last.

Cherish it.

Oh, no.

Maybe I'll save that.

And maybe we could watch it together and have a watch party.

Oh, yeah, you'll come over.

Okay, that's fine.

It's been 12 months since Tom Brady let his friends roast him for a Netflix special, but he's still beating himself up over it, admitting it was fucked up to sign up for the event.

He, of course, let his pals throw barbs his way for nearly three hours in May 2024, but he admitted once more this week, the jokes over his divorce with Giselle really hurt his family.

He told Logan Paul on the latest episode of Impulsive, his kids were super upset over some of the jabs, and it frankly ruined his whole roast experience.

He said, quote, we got done.

We were, everybody was on cloud nine.

And I think that moment, I'll never forget, you know, and I'll never forget when I talked to my kids the next day and I was like, I felt like, you know, a stake through the heart.

His, he said, his kids questioned why he'd get on stage and let people make those remarks.

They straight up asked him, what was the point of that?

A thousand percent.

He said, there's some things as a parent, you fuck up and you don't realize until after.

Like, ugh.

I seriously have such a pip for him.

Like I noticed he fucked up and I do seriously wonder what was the point of that.

You have more money and more fame than anyone.

It's not like you needed the rehabilitation.

People use the roast as like a PR thing.

It was really good for Justin Bieber.

I think it was very good for Alec Baldwin.

He doesn't need the money.

Joan Rivers said she did it exclusively for the money.

It pays extremely well.

She hated it.

She didn't want want to do it.

She knows it was horrible.

They were going to make fun of her face.

But you do it for a reason, whether it's money or Justin Bieber.

It was very strategic.

There's literally not one fucking good reason why Tom Brady needed to do it.

It's really true.

And it's just thirsty.

It's honestly thirsty.

I wonder like what his reason was at the time.

I would love to know.

And

of course, he regrets it, wishes he never did it.

And I have such a pit for him because that's like a big thing to regret.

Like on the thousand percent.

For a small mistake you made in your private.

And like some people have like scandals or whatever that you know they're going to talk about at the roast.

And so much of Tom Brady's like the things he knew people are around his family, his divorce.

Like it was so not the right time.

I also think if you have young kids, like you really shouldn't be doing roasts.

Like when your kids are old enough to get it or even participate, Ireland Baldwin, like that's a good way to do it.

But when you have young kids and so much of like your public scrutiny is about your personal life and your family, I'm like, not to beat a dead horse and I know he feels bad about it, but like bad call.

Like seriously, hindsight's 2020, but like, I could have told you this.

Yeah, agreed.

Um,

interesting podcast to discuss it on, The Impulsive Show.

Well, then at the end of this article, it also says he's gone around town telling everyone how much he regrets it.

He also went on the pivot, told Fred Taylor, Ryan Clark, and Channing Frowder in the days after the event that he was bothered.

So, um, I think he's like talking to anyone who will listen, but I actually thought it was cool that he, that Logan got Tom Brady out there.

The interview, yeah, and isn't you think Tom Whitey is all American?

Yeah.

I mean, it's a sea of taste.

Well, we'll see.

The video of Giselle getting pulled over and like having a breakdown.

That was like right after the roast, too, right?

Like it really,

it was bad.

Yeah.

Right?

Am I remembering the timeline correctly?

Everyone had a bad time.

Like Kim, the only person who had a good outcome was Nikki Glazer.

It's so true.

Oh my God.

No, other, so many people had like a terrible night.

Yeah, it was like scarring for them.

Worst mistake of their life.

And now like with all these reality shows and podcasts, we're like hearing even more because we just heard about Kim's terrible experience.

Now we're hearing about Tom's.

I wonder who's next.

Yeah.

I feel like Jeff Ross had fun.

Oh, he always has.

He's the Roastmaster.

Right.

Before we continue into the fifth and battle story, which I know is the Valley recap and then dear toasters, because the DTQ means the world to us, let me let you know that the remainder of today's show is brought to you by Built Rewards.

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Our fifth and final story, The Valley recap.

The The valley was on last night.

The crew headed down to Santa Babra.

I actually thought that house was beautiful.

Like, it made me, I said to Ben, we should go to Santa Barbara.

Yeah, Santa Barbara is, like, idyllic, I think, objectively.

That's why, like, everyone wants to live there.

And it's like one of the most expensive places in the country.

Cause I think like the weather is like sublime.

The view.

All day long.

I feel like they don't even have like mosquitoes, you know?

Totally.

And when they were sitting outside, everyone's like bare-legged.

They're not worried about bug bites.

It was an interesting trip.

I mean, the fact that Michelle and Jesse have to like work together, like in this capacity and stay in a house together is really sick.

And he's so, I'm sorry, I fucking hate him.

He is so annoying.

Like, even the second they get to the house, handing out his stupid white flags, he thinks he's so funny.

He's not.

And Michelle, you need one especially.

And he, like, she wasn't going to take it, obviously, but he also said it with a nasty comment.

So then, like, later on, he's like, and Michelle wouldn't even take my white flag.

Well, it was stupid.

Right.

And you made a nasty comment.

Like, you're so fucking annoying.

And every now and then, we get like little windows.

He tries to be like all buff and whatever but he's clearly like deeply

i don't and he's not in love with michelle anymore but he's so hurt by this divorce and he like can't he just can't lean into that he has to be a prick the whole time about everything like the way i fucking hate him and when he argues about anything i think he's stupid and wrong and when he was arguing about jet when he was arguing with janet about

what did they even start arguing the girlfriend i oh right oh janet was like i liked janet so much in that moment because she was like arguing logically like making higher points being like she seems nice, but she threatened my friend, so I'm going to block her.

And he was like, well, you're telling people to block her.

And she's like, I told my husband, that's not telling people.

Okay, but not her husband, like not having her back in that moment.

I kind of wanted to kill Mr.

Janet.

I know, but like Janet wears the pants, you know?

Yes.

Like there's only so much Mr.

Janet could do for Janet when she's like such a strong woman.

Woman, yeah.

And then Jesse like just starts like.

Bringing shit up out of nowhere.

That's when you know you've lost.

And like he just couldn't even have an argument with her.

No, and Janet saying like, yeah, I would cheat on you.

Yeah, then he starts bringing up out of nowhere, they're talking about this random girl and her Bay Watch boyfriend.

And he's like, well, your friend cheated on me.

Like, what?

First of all, we don't

care.

And she's like, well, you know what?

I would cheat on you too if I was married to you.

Like, seriously, slay.

Slay.

Slay.

That was such a slay.

There were like a lot of like stories orbiting, but for me, like, the main thing is Jesse and Michelle.

And like, when they were in that healing circle and they, they both like got emotional.

Um, they were kind of both pissing me off because, like, the question was, like, what are you grateful for?

And like, neither of them answered it.

Like, they just started going on about like how they've had a hard year.

And then like Jesse

then spiraling and kicking the cameras.

Like, how did we, I missed how that escalated to that.

I don't know why he's now like yelling at everyone because I do feel like he puts on the waterworks for the camera.

I think that's how Michelle feels too.

I wish she would say it more because she only said it once.

I'm trying to hold on to it, but I wish she would just like always say it.

Pain point it.

He like wants to be the victim on camera.

He wants to act like he would do anything for Michelle and that he loves her and that he just wants to like, you you know be in a good place but then I think when they're in mediation and when there's no cameras like he's the devil awful I don't see you you see windows into his devilish he tries to fool us I can't be that's why when like he's sitting there crying and you would think like

If this was a human being like a rational human being like Michelle might even feel tender toward oh, he's breaking down He's upset like maybe we maybe this is like a moment where we could reach Reconciliation and just like peace, but she can't even move it She knows it's so fucking fake So then that he would go from like crying where he's trying to like stir up an emotional reaction from the friend group and the audience and Michelle yeah and the audience too and then he goes into his room in his panties and starts yelling at mr janet

like he's he's playing like he just jekyl and hide it us he doesn't know what to do he should have like gotten into bed and started crying and like maybe some dumb reviewers would have continued to feel bad for him not me Not me.

But I might have been a little more dumb.

He's not confused.

Like, oh, maybe, you know, the undies.

He's crying.

Like, how did we get here?

I was so confused when he was crying in his undies, like, and kicking everyone out.

He just, like, wants a moment.

He's literally Jax Taylor.

Like, two points.

But it is Jax Taylor with more finesse.

Yeah, because he's a little bit more slick.

Out of his own way.

Maybe it's like the drug addiction.

And Jax fools no one.

At this point, because we also know he fooled us season one.

No, but for years.

No, no, no.

But like, he's a little bit more.

But for a while, he has been like crazy.

Nobody believes what he says.

He's a pathological liar.

Like,

I feel like there is a lot.

Like, whenever we recap the valley, like, people disagree with me.

Like, they like Jesse and they hate Michelle.

But, like, when Stasi and Jax broke up and everyone took Jax's side, remember?

Like, the first season, like, that is like how Jesse is right now.

It's like, one, we know Jax, so we're able to see through his bullshit right now, but also, Jesse does have more finesse than Jax.

Jax is a hothead.

Jesse is not.

Jax is a drug addict and an alcoholic.

Jesse is not.

So his judgment is impaired.

He might, like, think he's doing the right thing to manipulate the situation, but he doesn't realize he's manipulating no one.

Speaking of Jax, that like testimonial we gave was seriously like one of the craziest fucking videos I've ever seen of a person.

And I'm grateful that Brittany shared that he was like rage texting her between seven hours of therapy and his 15 minute breaks.

But I don't think I would have believed anything he said in the video before that.

But knowing that like he's literally just like doing the 30 days to do the 30 days so we can get back to the show and like be crazy.

He was such like he looked so nuts.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was on drugs in that video.

He looked so crazy.

And he's just saying withdrawal.

Withdrawal.

He's getting so angry and he's like, I'm so glad I'm here to work out my anger.

And he's getting angrier.

And like he's claiming Britney again.

Yep.

But like,

he's like, I know she's been through a lot, but I wish she would check in on me.

Why the fuck would she check in on you?

No, that's not hitting rock bottom if you have someone who's there for you.

But maybe it takes like 15 days to be broken down.

And like, of course, everyone comes into this rehab resistant.

Like, everyone thinks they don't have a problem.

Everyone thinks they can minimize it.

No, but he's making this video like he's at the end of the 30 days and he's healed.

I think he just wants to be on the show.

I think he's flipping that he's not on the show.

He even texted Brittany, like, how can you do this this to me?

I've been working this hard for two years and you take my job away from me.

Like, he's so worried about the show.

He's making these videos.

Like, please put me in the show, please.

No,

it's so true.

I didn't realize it at the time, but when you said it last week, like, so much of his hesitancy, obviously, to get help is one, he doesn't think he needs it, but two, it's because it's coinciding with filming.

I'm sure he was even arguing, I'll go after filming.

But like, no, that doesn't work.

Like, you're a threat to the people around you.

You have to go now.

Now, unfortunately, we do need to talk about Benji on a stick.

Claudia, I wiped it from my memory, but I'm glad that you brought it up because I felt like we were being like a little crazy, like harping on Benji the last few episodes.

No, we weren't.

But Claudia, Benji on a stick was one of the lowest moments of entertainment that I've ever seen.

And I feel like Zach is really kind of grasping to stay in the storyline because Britney's like kind of over him.

I think Brittany, like, that's your friend and like you ride for each other, but at some point you start like judging your friend for like being horrible.

And I think Britney like struggles with like, yeah, and we have like history and stuff, but like you're kind of like a bad person.

Like, I don't know how to grapple those two things.

Also, and I'm sure this would like hurt his feelings because I think he wants to be a good one.

He's a very bad reality star.

Agreed.

Even on Watch Happens Live last night, I saw a couple of clips.

He's trying so hard to like stir the pot.

I watched Watch What Happens Live last night and I thought it was a terrible episode.

And Michelle in a different way is also a bad reality star.

She has nothing to give.

She's not, she's like Mr.

Janet, but he's not like a main character on the show.

She should not be on a reality show.

She, and even like, they were playing this game of who could be shadier, Zach or Michelle.

And all of her questions were about Jesse, which was so unfair because she wouldn't answer them because like she's not trying.

It makes her life hard.

It makes her life hard.

She's not like Jax and Brittany who have signed this like

social contract that like this is gonna benefit us.

So we'll throw each other under the bus.

Like she doesn't, she doesn't want to do that.

I respect it so much and she shouldn't do that, but she's not

good.

Yeah.

And like Zach was answering any any single question.

It was even like, who's a better friend to like Kristen or Brittany?

Like his two best friends.

And he's, he said, who?

Like, of course, no, he is like willing to say anything or do anything to be successful.

And that's like a really scary person.

Yeah.

And it's also, it's, it's not even good enough.

Like it's not comedic.

It's not

shady.

It's not giving.

It's not giving what he thinks it's giving.

And

I actually agree with Brittany for like, yeah, she could have kept to herself what Zach said that night when he was blacked out at a bar and there were no cameras around, but no, she ran and told Janet.

Like, sorry, you know what?

I think she has like a

like a moral compass that guides her and it guided her right to Janet.

Yeah.

Also, he was asked why he has beef with Lala Kent.

I saw that question and he didn't answer it.

And then when he said, like, I just don't think our show needs other cast members, like we have a really good cast and like the show is good.

And like, he's like mad that she wants, excuse me.

Excuse me, have some fucking respect.

Yeah, like the show that was built off of Lala Kent's back.

But also,

it it makes sense that he feels that way.

Nobody else feels their position is threatened because everybody contributes to the show.

No, and he's

like, gets left off of trips, doesn't go to David Buster's, didn't go to the baby moon last year.

Like, if he's the weakest link, so of course he's going to be the most threatened by anyone coming in because it's like, if we're a cast of eight and I'm the eighth and you're better than me.

Like, and it's just like, it's so insecure.

And it's so obvious.

And you should also, like, if you're a good reality cast member, you would recognize Lala and Sheena will be great for the show.

Value adds 1,000%.

So,

yeah, I just, anyways, Benjiana Stick.

Benjiana Stick.

It was just not a good episode for Zach.

Like, and he tried, I think he hates Janet more than anything in the world, but it really doesn't benefit him to be on the outs with her because Brittany's starting to take Janet's side and like, he's just getting left out of things.

And that's to him, the worst thing that could possibly happen.

So he has this conversation where you just know it's killing him to take any responsibility.

And he still keeps trying to put like, well, yeah, I did that stuff, but like you did stuff too.

And And like, she really didn't.

No, she really didn't.

And she's not taking it.

She's like, I didn't.

Yeah.

And I thought she was very magnanimous when she was like, it's big of me to even sit with him.

I'm like, yes, Janet, it is big of you.

Like, I think she's just factual.

And I'm glad that they can like move forward because at a certain point, we can keep arguing about the same thing.

But like, until Zach, like.

over like and it's yeah he said those things when he was blackout maybe he didn't mean them and like that's not how he truly feels whatever just say that just say that like oh my god i can't believe i said those things i would never say that i don't think that like i'm so sorry that that reached you like just say that

correct don't like be like well no one should have told you right that's not the point yeah no i love brittany like she's really a queen yeah so i'm glad they're on the cast trip danny's leaving tonight he's gonna come back drunk so we'll see what happens yeah i'm scared i'm scared even though it looks like he just falls asleep yeah but then the fight begins they were like trying to make something we'll see i think they're just trying to like sow the seeds because I do think something later will happen.

Something happens.

That's what I think.

I mean, I think it's time for Dear Toasters, my favorite segment of the week.

It actually is my favorite segment.

It is my favorite segment.

We're in Dear Toasters.

Oh, no.

No.

You love QA.

It's my second favorite segment.

But I do love how much it riles people up.

Like, people get so invested in these different scenarios.

So every week, Jackie and I do an advice segment.

It's called Dear Toasters, where our listeners write in about things that they're going through.

Sometimes it's relationships, sometimes it's work, sometimes it's, you know, gynecological.

We have a lot of issues.

And we do our best to help out the swirlies in need.

If you ever need advice, you can email us, dear toasters at gmail.com, or you can head over to our website, the toastpodcast.com, scroll down those little dear toasters submission box.

Both methods are totally anonymous.

We'll never blow up your spot.

And we'll do our best to get your submission read on air.

Are you ready, Jax?

Hey, Jax and Claude.

Do you think it's okay to announce my pregnancy on a friend's bachelorette trip?

I will be with a group of college friends who I don't see often.

I would love to tell them in person, but I'm worried about making the weekend about myself instead of the bride.

I'll be eight weeks pregnant on the trip, which I know is early, but these are close friends who I'm comfortable sharing with.

Great question.

I actually was in this exact situation when I was pregnant with Harry.

I went on my friend Sam.

You all know Sam.

She gave me her tomato sauce recipe.

And I wanted to, I told my, I actually drove up with Rebecca and Dana.

I told them in the car.

I wasn't planning on telling Sam because I didn't want to like take away from her weekend at all.

But there was a scenario where we were all talking and it just was like very natural.

And I told her and it was like not with the whole group.

I didn't make a whole announcement.

And the other girls on the trip were like Sam's friends, not people.

So you don't know them.

like, yeah.

So I didn't like, like, it was a private moment with me and like my college friends.

And it was just the right time to tell her.

I hadn't planned on telling her, but I did.

And like, she was so happy and it didn't take away from the weekend at all.

I wouldn't make, if you know everyone on the trip and you're saying you're all best friends, I would not make like a big announcement.

But if there are a couple people who you want to tell privately, just so they can like cover for you and pick up the slack and if everyone's doing shots and they're going to swipe yours, like that's really, that is totally fine.

If the moment feels right, you could tell the bride, but just I need to know about the bride.

Some brides are so fucking crazy.

Like they're like, Kimba, you're making this day about yourself.

And it's like, I'm just taking a dump.

Like, some of them are really like, they have a complex about any attention not being off of them.

And if she's that kind of crazy bride, like I would seriously just avoid it.

Like there, there are other times.

But if like your friend Sam is like extremely normal.

Yeah.

You have to, you have to know the bride.

to make the decision.

So I would let your gut, like, what kind of bride has she been thus far?

Like some brides are so chill.

Some brides are so fucking crazy.

I would feel it out, but definitely do not make like a big announcement to the whole

thing.

Tell like a select few people in private if it feels right, but

feel it out.

Use your judgment.

Use your judgment.

You know the bride better than we do.

Okay, next up.

Hey, Jackson Claude.

I'm a mom of three boys, six, four, and 16 months.

That was a weird order.

Six, four, and 16 months.

Why is that weird?

Because she went like.

Oh, I guess she went down.

Okay, it's just, I would, I don't know.

Okay, never mind.

I'm a mom of three boys.

Prior to being a mom, my husband and I had a pretty active sex life.

More recently, we've been making an effort to get it in at least one or two times per week.

He's already been vocal that he thinks I should want to do it more.

Most recently, I just got my period back after breastfeeding our third son for so long, and he's getting mad at me when I tell him that it's my time of the month.

I told him I obviously have no control over this, but he'll get so bad to the point of not talking to me for an hour and being salty for the rest of the day.

Is this normal?

Should I view this as a good thing that he wants me more or a concern that he can't go a week without it?

Sincerely, a tired and confused mom.

That's so weird.

Like, grow up.

That's like any couple anywhere.

Like women get their period.

Like you're on hiatus.

No, no, like being mad about a period is like actually a crazy fucking like thing to do.

It's like being like it's just crazy.

And while yes, I admire your ability to see the positive.

It's lovely your husband wants to have sex with you so much.

At some point, it doesn't even feel like it's about you.

He's just like obsessed with sex and he can't even wait for a woman to be on her period.

Like

what did you guys, when you had your active sex like before kids, like what would happen when you were on your period?

Like right.

If he's not interested in waiting around for a period, like, he should start dating men.

Like, sorry, this is what happens when you have sex with women.

Your husband's gay.

And honestly, like, I know it's my two buttons, your husband's gay and divorced, but like, seriously, your husband's being a prick.

You should divorce him so he can be with a man.

No, I'm totally kidding.

But it also, like, makes sense that you guys just had, like, a major dry spell because you've been breastfeeding.

Like.

Sex is not happening during breastfeeding season.

I don't know.

Like, no.

Yeah.

No.

It's like.

Why?

Because your boobs are too heavy or you're too tired?

No, because

if you really want to know, it takes all the hydration out of your body.

What does?

Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding?

It takes all the moisture from your body.

Okay, I'm seeing what you're saying.

And it's just not the vibe.

It's dry energy.

It's not the vibe.

And you're like, so like not into it.

So definitely like, don't feel bad if you guys had a long dry spell while you were breastfeeding.

And maybe he's trying to like.

Compensate makeup for all this time, but there will be plenty of sex to have.

He needs to like, he needs a stern talking to.

He needs to be spoken to in a direct and kind of harsh way.

Like, could I be doing more?

I'm feeding our children with my literal body.

I'm putting up with you and your insane sex drive.

And I'm having my period.

Get the fuck off my back.

I would just throw a bloody tampon at him.

Love that.

Hey, babe, can you get me a coffee?

And instead of a coffee stewer, it's your bloody tampon.

Like, I'm just so sick of it.

That's sick.

I'm sick of it too, for you.

Imagine how she feels.

No, totally.

Like, could she be doing more?

And now she's worried about him.

Girl, you need to stop being worried about him.

He's seriously crazy.

So period is a break.

And it's not even a whole week.

Like, it's a few days.

Well, some people's are, but, like, it's really five days.

And you know what?

Maybe take some advice from Jackie.

Yo, if you free bleed into a pad, your period is shorter.

Thus,

you could have sex with your husband quicker.

She deserves her time off.

Girl, use a tampon.

You deserve a whole week from your crazy ass husband and his insane sex drive.

Like, it's because that he wants to have sex with her.

Yeah, of course, do I said?

And I appreciate her ability to like see the class half full.

Like, it is nice to be wanted, but I'm sorry, this is unreasonable.

Yeah, I agree.

The sex sounds a little sensitive, it's a little touchy.

Dear toasters, I love my boyfriend.

We've been dating for two years.

He is great.

However, when we first started dating, one of my favorite things about him was that he was very masculine.

Over time, he has started to talk, text, and act a lot more feminine, if that makes sense.

It comes across as kind of like whiny and annoying to me.

How do I tell him?

Ooh.

Well,

obviously.

Your boyfriend's gay.

But let me offer a rebuttal.

Okay.

Maybe like your boyfriend, because like the other day, Ben said something.

I was like, how was the thing he was like was fabulous?

I said, excuse me?

He's like, because it was fabulous.

And it's because I say fabulous is one of my favorite words that, like, when you're so close with someone, you do start to rub off.

So maybe this is your influence on him.

I had the same thought.

Like, if you guys are best friends, you're talking all the the time.

He starts to talk like you because like I hear that even like with Zach, like I do feel like our husbands like say things like, you know, not that he's saying Pargi yet, but like.

No, but when Ben said fabulous,

it's gotten too far.

I said, watch your mouth.

How do you scale it back?

Like you kind of can't.

No, but you should like encourage him to like listen to like manly podcasts and manly

radio.

Buy him a truck.

And oh, what are the boys doing tonight?

Right,

I don't start talking like a man.

Yeah, no, you can't.

You can't.

But I'm way more influential.

You know, women are just more influential.

Right, right.

There is also the possibility that he's gay.

And that he's becoming gayer.

Right.

And it's like, it's

every breath he takes.

At first, he could hide it well.

And now it's just oozing out of him because he's gay.

And it's hard to live a life like that.

And maybe he was like uber masculine before as like a front, you know, and he was like all.

But now he has this girlfriend, so nobody's looking at him anymore.

And he could be himself.

I need to know like how girly things are getting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's space for like a little girliness, I do think.

I think like there

every man has like a couple of girly traits.

Just

a thousand percent.

And I think like toxic masculinity is very real.

Like some men are such losers, like the way they can't even remotely be like emotional or feminine, like get a grip.

So I think there's a balance, but of course you wade into like girly gay territory.

He's like, I'm not a lesbian.

Right.

So it's like, how do, how do I respect your personality while also respecting my sexuality?

I think that you, it, this needs to be a covert mission.

You know, I don't think there's a conversation that can be had.

It's that would be incredible.

I agree.

You sound crazy.

You sound crazy.

It's a covert mission.

We're getting masculine influences in the home.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Put up like a Hulk Hogan poster, buy some creatine, get like some dumbbells for the garage, you know?

Hey.

And like like get those really toxic video games, you know, where like they're like stealing cars and like Grand Theft Auto.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one where they steal cars.

No, the ones that like they do the studies on that are like bad for men, like shooting gun, Call of Duty, Call of Duty, COD, for sure.

Yeah, get a lot of really toxic influences.

Maybe get an Andrew Tate subscription or something.

Like, no,

I'm kidding.

I'm completely kidding.

But yeah, a couple of more, you know,

stereotypical

male things.

Yeah.

That's rough.

That is rough because that's really, it's like a, it's like an arbitrary issue.

It's not like, oh, you don't pick your towels up.

Like, it's like, you're kind of girl.

I don't know how

you honestly

at a loss.

I'm at a loss for actual tangible advice, honestly.

How do we turn the tide back?

It's only going to get worse.

Yeah.

And like only you can answer this, but like, is he gay?

Like, or is like, there are are signs when you're with a partner who's closeted, like, a lot of them have to do with sex.

So, like, or like when he does or says something that's like really, really girly and unattractive to you, you could just be like, that was really girly.

Like, think, like, as if it's the first it occurred to you.

Yeah, yeah.

Be like, that was kind of girly.

And just like make him insecure about it.

Yeah.

But there, like, there are lots of signs.

It's kind of like how Chris Jenner says she used to see there are a couple of times that, you know, she walked in on Caitlin, like, stuffing a bra and wearing women's clothes in the garage.

The girls saw it too.

So there are signs.

You would, if there was, you know, an actual sexuality thing going on here, you would know.

Or just keep an eye out for it.

I agree, but it could also just be like you're very influential and hysterical and everyone wants to be like you.

And you guys are best friends.

Ergo,

he's becoming a woman.

Correct.

And that's kind of like the blessing and the curse of being in such a strong relationship.

And being just such a strong, powerful woman.

Correct.

With lots of influence.

Thank you, everybody.

He wrote into deer toasters.

Yeah.

Do you want to do one more?

Let's see.

Hold on, I have more here.

I felt like we're like robbing the DTs.

They'll be so happy.

And I do think they'll shut their pie holes if we give them four.

Okay, wait, let me find a good one.

I have a bunch on the stocking.

You're welcome.

Wow.

I can't believe that came from you.

I don't know why it just felt like two.

We were having so much fun.

Okay.

Hi, Jackson Claude.

My in-laws recently told me they feel like I'm too good for them, which really hurt, especially since I've always tried to to be kind and felt we had a good relationship.

Like, you think you're too good for them?

Yeah, like she acts like she's too good.

Got it.

Not like you're too good for us, please.

Like, go on.

No, no, no.

We're low.

We're down rotten.

We live in a very small town just down the road from them.

We are together all the time, so this tension feels really heavy.

One example they mentioned is being offended that I don't bring my almost one-year-old to them to watch.

The truth is, I just prefer to care for him myself, not out of judgment, but personal choice.

How do I maintain a healthy relationship with them and not come across like I'm acting too good?

Oh, that's such a tough criticism, especially when you don't feel like you don't look down your nose at these people, I'm assuming, because it's bothering you like a snob wouldn't care that someone.

Yeah, yeah, I am too good for you.

Glad you notice.

Thanks for noticing.

And it's like, how do you prove yourself against that without like, you know, crawling up their ass and like just being so inaugurated?

Because then you look guilty.

Yeah.

And I don't know like the babysitting thing, like, I

would need to know more, but I can understand why maybe someone's level of care is like not your preferred level of care.

And like,

childcare is so personal.

I'm not going to dog you on that.

I don't know.

I would be mindful of the things that you say and do and how they could come across, but like, it's, it, you can't really like prove yourself against a negative like that.

I know.

So I would just like, if you, if it comes up again, just being like, I just want to let you know, like, from the bottom of my heart, I don't feel that way.

Um, if it comes across like that, like I will work on it, but just so you know, like in your soul, I don't feel that way at all.

Like, I love you guys.

I think that's a really like kind thing to say.

And hopefully they take kindly to it.

But, yeah, I think just you know, opening up your heart.

That's kind of like such a rude thing to say.

Like, it is, and it's unless you are like such a snob, like Nicola.

What about getting that vibe?

Like Nicola because it's obviously bothering you.

It's Nicola enough to write into Deer Toasters.

Oh, you think Victoria wrote in?

I think Nick, yeah, Nicola wrote in.

Yeah,

David and Victoria down the road, small town.

They live in like the English countryside.

Yeah.

Damn.

You're not so not so slick, Nicola.

Except for the one-month-old.

slickola.

Imagine she wrote into Deer Toasters about her in-law issues.

Please, did you see that the in-law issues?

Um, the rumors are now, it's actually not a Victoria and Nicola thing, it's a Brooklyn and Romeo thing.

Romeo's girlfriend used to date Brooklyn.

So, I saw those were the rumors as a few days ago.

Today, the new rumor is that Nicola does not like the way that David and Victoria speak to and treat Brooklyn.

They say they berate him.

David gets on the phone with him for an hour and just yells at him.

They said

they called them both narcissistic and performative.

That David, that David and Victoria are the issue.

And I'm just like, well, where is this coming from?

Like, Team Nicola.

And where did the

Romeo rumors come from?

They said that Romeo's girlfriend used to date Brooklyn and now like they're all mad.

Even though like Brooklyn's remarried, if he's literally mad about his ex-girlfriend, that's like a huge issue.

What I read was that, and

I also read that that would be like a tiny part of the larger issue.

That's not the whole thing, but that Brooklyn used to date this girl.

He thinks she has like bad intentions and he like is like questioning Romeo's relationship with her.

God family's bringing her around.

They're just like letting her in.

He's like, guys, no, like this girl is bad news.

And they're not listening to him.

But then I've also read that that is small potatoes.

Compared.

Compared to David and...

Victoria.

I just need to know what's going on.

There are certain pop culture stories I care deeply about, like knowing the truth, and speculation doesn't work for me.

I need facts.

The problem is, is that it's something where it's like, if you spoke to to Nicola, you would get one, you would get her truth energy.

It's a classic inline.

And if you spoke to David and Victoria, like you would get a whole other story where it's like they're just missing each other.

And I can see a reality in which like Victoria and David are like really crazy berating parents, but I could also see a reality in like what we've heard about Nicola for years is that she's like a nasty woman.

Like she's a brat and she's really rude.

So I could say, I could see both of them being the problem.

And they said that like every time David and Victoria like try and talk to Brooklyn or like have a rep pro chemois, like Nicola just like jumps in and defends Brooklyn.

And and so they don't want to talk with her around.

Got it, so they will not have a conversation with the two of them.

Okay, it's Brooklyn or bust, but that doesn't work for Brooklyn because he stands by his lady,

right?

I feel like we actually are getting to like what's going on, the bottom of it, it's just classic stuff.

No, it is, it's kind of a tale as old as time.

Like, seriously, billionaire celebrities, they're just like us.

Things we did: fast five, we didn't dally, four deer toasters, and a TV recap, all in a nalafi.

Like, it's a nice long-up one for you.

And solved the Pets, Peltz Beckham drama.

Correct.

And your husband is gay.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-fast stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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