The Reason Passed Muster: Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday or should I say happy curtain day to all who celebrate.

It's curtain day two and speaking of curtains, hey Jax, how you dern?

I'm dern good.

I've chosen the curtain life today.

We kind of left you guys on a cliffhanger yesterday.

That was awesome.

Will they, won't they?

Coupled with some misinformation about December 4th.

Today is December 3rd.

I am on the toast.

You did not get Ben.

It was a make it work moment and we made it work.

So, yeah, Ben said no.

Ben, did he have a good reason?

Yes, he is actually back-to-back shoots today.

You know, he's in Brooklyn already filming, you know, collab content, food content, you know, chef, chef-like things.

His reason passed muster.

What?

His reason past

muster.

What?

Okay, his reason, P-A-S-S-E-D, space, M-U-S-T-E-R.

It wasn't that I couldn't, like, phonetically hear, I seriously have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Like,

it's approved.

Oh.

Yeah, I approve.

It was a good reason.

It was a legitimate excuse.

Is that what you were trying to say?

It was a good reason.

His reason passed muster.

Oh, it passed the muster?

But.

It's just a phrase.

It's not a phrase.

I've never heard it.

And you know I know all of you.

Okay, now you're making me feel like it's not a phrase.

Let me just.

And when did you learn this phrase yesterday?

Because you've never, in our, we're sisters.

I've known you your whole fucking life.

You have never said

that phrase.

Okay, to pass muster means to be accepted as adequate or satisfactory.

His reason past muster.

Is that a phrase?

Yes.

Is reason past muster a phrase or does past muster mean something?

Pass muster in the dictionary

means to be accepted as adequate.

That's literally his reason past muster.

Okay.

And no, you're right.

I don't, it's not like in the last 24 hours I heard that phrase and now I'm bringing it to the show.

I don't know what recess, I don't know what recess of my mind it came from.

I don't know what

inspired me.

That is not past muster of you.

Okay.

Oh my God.

Like you ever talk to somebody and they immediately like start speaking Chinese.

I literally had no idea what the hell you were talking about.

His reason past muster.

Yes.

And I'm excited for him that he's hitting the the mean streets of Brooklyn to film content.

Yes, more than that.

More on that.

Yes, he's shooting with two acceptable people.

You guys know my bar these days.

Like, can't let these people get too close to Ben.

You know, he's kind of blowing up.

I

his breath, first of all.

And second of all, like, I don't know.

I'm not just letting any old, any old girl come through.

So today he's still

Alex Gorno Shelly.

She should be on my, and by the way, they, Ben sent me like one of the videos that they made, and he, like, asked me if I liked it before he posted it yesterday.

And I definitely, like, I saw sparks I just want to say like I I was shipping them like

not the gorn yeah she's approved um today he's filming with somebody who um is a man so obviously that's okay with me um pargylicious pargylish and then he's also filming with a woman who is not interested in men so also okay with me Love that.

Yeah.

And what are these things that he's filming?

Like for his, where will we see them?

Ben likes to do all different types of Q labs, like some for his page.

These are at someone else's studio.

So, when that happens, it's like that person's content, and then Ben will like rent the studio, and

that's for him, you know, whoever's like taking the cost.

I think I don't know how it works in the Cheffy space.

The Cheffy space.

Well, speaking of Ben filming stuff, I have to talk about what you guys did last night, even though I'm sure you were going to.

Oh, actually, I totally forgot.

I literally have done like a thousand.

We were filming really early this morning because Jax is heading home finally, thank God,

back to our equilibrium.

Although, I will miss the curtain.

I'll miss the parchiness of this studio and the ultra HJ and staring camp right in the eye.

So I totally forgot that last night, like I was so busy.

Not me, not me literally working till 9 p.m.

I mean, I'm just try being an influencer for a day.

Try it.

You, Margo, and Ben did an Amazon Live.

I watched most of it.

It was so funny.

I think that doing Amazon Live is like literally my calling.

I love to be on camera, so that's just fun.

The Amazon Live Studio, it's like really high budget.

When you're an influencer, everything you do is low budget, right?

Like you do it on your phone, look at our studio.

Yeah, like, but this is like being on TV.

It's really like, I would say it's probably just as high quality maybe even more that's like qvc or hsn like the home shopping networks yeah so it's i mean it's like a team of like 50 people in the control room like you look like you're on nbc it's really crazy someone posted the control room it's so crazy so it's just fun to be in that type of like fancy environment and i just think i really was in this life like meant to have like a like an amazon live show or like

Like one like a type of like home shopping like I'm really there sell sell sell feel very passionate about the products Well, that's because I get to choose the products I don't think if you're like on QVC do you get to like choose what you're selling You just have to like hawk stuff.

But Amazon Live is like based on your storefront.

So like you get to choose the items.

I did like Dyson Air Wrap, Dyson Vacuum, like beauty things that I like.

So I just feel like it's really my calling.

And I had so much fun yesterday.

Oh my God, I just.

I actually turned on QVC the other day because I was just like looking for something to have in the background.

And I actually like QVC around the holidays because they've got great energy and I like to shop.

And the way that they could make you buy anything, like they were zooming in on this like bar of chocolate.

That's just a shit.

That's just so crazy.

I also turned on QVC like a week ago.

It didn't even look like if I passed that chocolate at the store, I wouldn't look twice at it.

Actually, like it had like live nuts in it.

It was not for me.

Live nuts?

The way they were talking about this chocolate, I have to try it.

What's a live nut as opposed to a dead one?

Like a whole nut.

Like a whole nut sitting on top, multiple of different kinds of nuts.

I'm not nutty.

She is.

What are you?

Nuts?

No, actually.

I'm not nutty.

I agree.

When we went to Polo Bar for Thanksgiving, we got like almost every single dessert.

And the one that we didn't get was the brownie, which is crazy because that's like my go-to, like a warm brownie.

It was like a walnut brownie.

Like, seriously, why?

Seriously, why?

And I'm not saying like yucky, I would never eat that.

It's like not preferred.

I would say

yucky, I would never eat that.

You would.

I think that like, it's the same for most like fruits, except for like, there are certain exceptions.

Like, fruit is not dessert.

It's just like a substitute.

So maybe like a carrot cake, no, that's not dessert.

That's how I feel about nuts.

Get out of here.

What are you?

Nuts?

I do think carrot cake is the exception, but I'm not going to argue because

we'll be here for days.

We'll never get it.

We will be here for days.

They were also selling this vacuum cleaner, and I wasn't titillated, but then they were showing how you could clean your kids' car seat with it.

Oh.

I thought that was something to really do.

Yeah,

that's how they got you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Practical application of policy.

Practical application of policy.

That passes muster.

If it ain't passing muster, honestly, it ain't for me.

And you know what?

Maybe passing muster came out of the woodwork today because I didn't get like a lot of sleep last night, but I got better sleep than the night before.

Yesterday, I was not coming up with passing muster.

Maybe you just had to do it.

I was barely passing muster myself.

Oh, don't say that.

You were phenomenal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it was just, you know, the brain wasn't Hundo P.

Yeah.

Well, we have not even really talked about what an exciting week we have at the, maybe in like one or two days, I'm headed down to Florida, obviously to spend time with my family, which I I cannot wait for, but mostly because Jackie and I are doing our final live podcast of the year.

And let's be honest, probably our final live podcast for quite some time,

at the Hard Rock Seminole in Hollywood, Florida.

It is our biggest show yet.

It is our first show in Florida.

Jackie's, you know, it's kind of like a homecoming type of show, very Beyonce homecoming.

It's Sunday night at seven o'clock at the Hard Rock Seminole.

in Hollywood, Florida.

We are so excited.

It's not too late to get tickets.

There are a couple of seats left.

It's our biggest show.

I cannot wait.

I did finally get a dress.

Like, it was really hard, but I found one.

And I don't, if you don't like it, like, that's fair.

I'm not saying it's the most beautiful dress, but it fits.

And I don't want to hear a fucking word about it, okay?

No, if you like, if you out there have anything to say about like

Claudia's pregnant woman dress, like trying to get a Jiz No Holiday, like you're a mean person.

You try trying on dresses for a Jizeno holiday extravaganza when you literally hate your body.

Like try it.

Try it.

Yeah, I actually just ordered some dresses last night.

I'm a little bit behind, but we could always hit the mall turdy.

We could.

And I also was thinking that green dress, that Sim Kai that I lent to you, that is now living in your closet, that might fit me now.

Okay.

So that's a buy backup dress.

It's a great dress.

We have a great show.

The stories are what?

Like scale of one to 10?

Um, like, not, you know, gangbusters.

So I don't want to.

The stories are what we make them.

I'll just leave it at that.

And let's make them rock.

Let's make them rock.

We also have.

Dear Toasters, a weekly advice segment segment that was moved to Tuesdays.

We almost moved it again this week to Wednesday because Jackie is heading to the airport, but we decided to just record extra early to get to the toasters.

And the submissions are very good this week.

I'm very excited about this.

However, if we make too much of the stories, we will not have time for dear toasters.

No, let's be mindful.

Not singing our stop singing our party song, then we won't be able to give you advice.

But I'll never stop singing my party song.

They wanna make me stop singing party songs.

But I was born to sing this part G song and you can grab a spoon and eat my ass.

I love it.

I love it.

Now

I'll never stop singing.

Oh, you know what I'm doing today?

No, I will never stop singing my Pargi song, okay?

I think you need to get in the studio.

Well, I'm actually in the studio, but you need, and so are you.

You know what I'm saying?

It's about recording studio and write a song called The Pargy song well remember when we were like coming up with what selena gomez's song was going to be and we actually ended up writing an amazing song i actually thought of the other day the song that she ended up releasing i'll be single soon i don't know if there is a song that has made less of a cultural impact in my lifetime than that song the way it came and went i don't even think it hit the billboard like it was like a passion project of hers she like liked the song she didn't give a fuck she like made this turnt music video and it's literally flopped such a flop what i thought you were gonna say is you wrote when we heard that she was was coming out with this song, it was like, I am.

She was doing Easter eggs.

We wrote a song.

Yeah, how did it go?

Remind me.

I am.

Oh, I don't know.

No, Jackie, I am real.

That's Simon and Caven.

I know.

I'm

too much dancing with you.

We need to get back in the studio.

We need to get back in the studio and then I'll stop singing my party song when I decide the party-ness is long gone.

Oh, I love, I love.

Okay, well, in that spirit, we should stop singing our party song and get to the business at hand.

Without further ado, to do to do about the party song,

here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

Wait, before we do the fast five, like you're you're actually experiencing something that sometimes happens to me, but like not a lot, where it's like I get to do the toast from the comfort of my own studio.

And yes, I have my problems, like my, you know, bad lighting or whatever, but no one's judging me, right?

Like, I don't know.

You are singing your Pargi song in front of how many cameramen are and I know they hear me just one just one and do you think that he thinks you're a freak

I can't see him so and do you think that he thinks that like you're like a girl who like started a podcast like for fun and three people listen like do you think he knows that like this is kind of like the Joe Rogan of the Jewish community yeah he definitely knows it's the Joe Rogan no he's actually familiar with the toast because he works a lot with with Lexis Waters oh okay okay so oh cool

uses so you're saying Lexis Waters ate these eggs that is what he, that's what he's saying.

Yeah, okay, cool.

Yeah.

Sorry.

So the party song is brought to you by State Farm, which is so appropriate because they also have their own party song, and this time we're allowed to sing it.

So today's episode of The Toast is supported by State Farm.

When you get a new car, a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, how is this real?

Or it's giving homeowner.

But really, the words you want to be thinking or singing are, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there with a party song.

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And when you need ways to get help, State Farm also gives you options there too.

So, you know, I know a lot of our listeners are quite diverse.

Perhaps some of you relate more to Jackie.

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Like you want to talk to a State Farm agent over the phone, or maybe even, oh, I don't know, in real life, you can do that with State Farm.

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So, when you need help protecting the things that matter most, remember to sing it like Jackson Claude do and sing that Pargi song in your heart that goes a little something like this:

oh my god, I'm like short of breath these days.

Sorry, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Wow, that was like my best one yet.

Do you want to hit it once?

Hit it one time,

like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Okay, um, today's episode is also brought to you by Minky Couture.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Amazon Live, an incredible shoppable video platform where you can explore the hottest products while connecting with the biggest influencers, you know, like myself.

You'll get to see products in action and shop as you watch.

I'm sure a lot of you guys experienced Amazon Live last night, perhaps for the first time.

Amazon Live is like a very...

First of all, something I wish I started sooner.

It's just like live streams with your favorite reality stars, content creators, podcasters, comedians, models, hello, where they are sharing their favorites when it comes to beauty, when it comes to fashion, when it comes to cooking.

Ben was cooking last night.

So it's like a really fun, engaging, entertaining stream.

But then everything that you're watching, all the products, all the clothes are shoppable and it's on Amazon.

So you can literally just add it to your cart.

Like it's literally so easy while you're watching.

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And they were having tons of deals last night.

Some of the deals are still going on this morning.

But it's so fun to watch.

You can follow me there.

Follow your favorite creators.

They do, you know, Kyle Richards, Lala Kent.

And there's always like a lot of drama.

I mean, on Real House of the Beverly Hills this season.

It's a main storyline.

It's a main storyline about what Kyle said about to read.

So there's always like really good tea.

Paige de Sorbo's obviously on it.

She has like tons of guests coming through.

She does like an interview show.

It's really the best thing.

You can ask questions in the live chat.

I was chatting with all the toasters last night.

We were giggling so hard.

Jackie was in the live chat.

Seriously, like it was so funny.

Head to amazon.com slash the toast.

You'll find all of my Amazon lives that I've done along with your favorite hosts.

Well, second, obviously, because I'm number one.

You can also stream and shop Amazon Live's new live TV channel on Prime Video under the DIY section.

You can shop along on your phone.

So head over to amazon.com/slash a toast and you'll find all my Amazon lives.

And just make sure to follow so you never miss a stream.

Thank you.

Never miss a turt.

I would never dream of missing a turt.

Our first story.

Let's go back

to the beginning.

Oh, you know what I forgot to tell you?

Oh.

Actually, well, I did tell you, but we never got to chat about it.

I didn't get to talk about it on the toast.

When I was at Polo Bar for...

Actually, I didn't tell you this.

When I was at Polo Bar for Thanksgiving you walk downstairs into the restaurant as I'm walking downstairs who's walking up Justin Anderson and Kristen Cavalieri now Kristen Cavalier walks right by me I feel like she doesn't like me because that one thing I said about her which I stand by

but Justin Anderson I like love him swirly I've never met him but apparently he like loves a good guys podcast too he was so excited so funny so decent he was like shocked to see us I have never met him before we're like internet friends even better IRL oh my god we're internet friends and I really like him and you know what I'm jealous yeah no like meet your faves because if your fabe is Justin Anderson, like he's so handsome.

He was so cute and so funny.

And I just want to say I feel like Justin and Kristen like are aligned and her enemy is his enemies and vice versa and who he likes, she likes too.

So I actually think she has no issue with you.

Okay, maybe like also she doesn't know who I am and like that and ugly and irrelevant, which is most likely the case.

I don't think he would be like liking someone that Kristen had an issue with, like their ridership.

Okay, okay, cool, cool, cool.

So that bodes well.

But we're going back to the beginning because Laguna Beach high school reunion, their 20-year high school reunion was this weekend.

Lauren Conrad went, Stephen Coletti went.

You have to remember it's like their year.

Kristen's not there yet.

Right.

Right.

But you also have to remember, and this was a reminder for me, that like this was a real school.

No, that is what is so crazy.

Like, has there ever been a more high-stakes high school reunion?

Did anyone have a more public high school experience than Laguna Beach?

No, and who, like, I need to know who's on the planning committee.

Like, and when they were getting like RSVPs, they were probably freaking about like, because there were also just like regular folk who went to this high school and like nobody knew, but they knew Kristen.

They maybe had classes with Lauren.

Like, it's actually the craziest thing.

Cause I feel like in this day and age, they would never

have a reality show about high school kids who are actively in high school.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, it seems really young.

Yeah, and it just, it seems crazy.

Yeah, it is crazy.

What's crazier is that they all went, especially Lauren.

But I guess

she's not crazy.

A downhome girly, I think she lives in Laguna Laguna now with her family.

So it's like, why wouldn't she go to her high school reunion?

But they all went.

Lauren, Steven, Trey, Dieter, Morgan, Christina.

I mean, I recently watched Laguna Beach, and I feel like we had this conversation, so I won't, it doesn't, I don't want to be repetitive, but it is really crazy how like Lauren Conrad was America's sweetheart.

Like, seriously, we were obsessed with her.

And everyone who came for her, Kristen, Spencer, Heidi, we hated.

Like, she was a queen of America.

And I recently went back and re-watched.

And let me tell you, she's the the worst character.

She's so fibiscino.

Like, she just likes Steven.

And, like, when it doesn't go her way, she's such a miserable, like, sour puss fucking face.

And all she does is like, like, brag about her parents' new house and like invite people over to the new house.

Like, she rides the coattails of her parents' house.

Like, her parents' house is a character on the show.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's being built for a season.

She keeps like inviting people over, like, see the construction.

It's like, it's giving loser.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In hindsight.

Big loser energy.

She is.

However, it all worked out, didn't it?

Yes, yes, it did.

It did.

And they had just like a regular, degular, well, Laguna Beach style, 20-year high school reunion.

They shared pictures, everyone was getting together.

It's like they literally wore name tags.

Like, that's so crazy.

It's also so crazy that they literally had like three and a half years of regular high school.

And then, like, the last couple of months where they were filming that reality show, and that was their senior year, is what like we all know, but they had a full high school experience.

Yeah, yeah.

I would love to have they should have had MTV there for the reunion to see where's everyone now?

How's everyone doing?

How did the show change your life?

Aside from Lauren.

That's a really good point.

And I feel like it was definitely something that

came across the desk of MTV.

Like, why wouldn't they?

I'm sure nobody was willing to participate and that's why, but that would have been a great special.

Yeah.

How often does our high school have reunions?

Because I would be coming up on my 15th in the year.

They do every five.

Every five.

Okay.

My 10th was a Zoom that I didn't join.

Sucks.

My five, I went to.

Me too.

Everybody goes to the five because it's the first one.

Yeah.

Just out of college.

You're still friends with everyone.

Like, it's a night out.

And then my 10, I was so excited.

And then I got booked.

Like, I had a work thing in Canada.

And I actually busy.

I actually asked them to move it because one of my friends was on the committee and they were like, no.

So I missed it and I was like really upset.

So I will be going to 15 whenever that is, like in three, four years.

I'll go to 15 if they, if they host something.

Although i did hear about the 10 was that like significantly less people came and that makes me really sad like everyone should go even though i literally didn't but everyone should

i think i don't think 15 will be a big one i think 20 is the big one yeah and if i remember correctly from my fifth it was like really not enough time had passed like i remember we were sitting in like a classroom and it just like literally felt like a weekend like it wasn't it wasn't no it was like the wednesday night before thanksgiving like hey all yeah it wasn't weird enough

yeah you know no like now it's like I wouldn't recognize people and that's the vibe I want.

Well, that is the phase of life that I'm in.

Like somebody, oh, over the weekend, I was talking to my sister-in-law's fiancé and he was like, by the way, do you know Blank?

They had just met someone who I went to high school with.

In my grade, it took me 45 seconds to place this person.

Like the name, just like, I couldn't, and of course, lovely girl, I remember her.

People, and Abel, like, say, someone who we went to high school with, and I'm like, I seriously have never met that person in my life.

It's also because we don't have Facebook.

It doesn't

like coming across our news feed.

Yeah.

Using a Facebook book was that's why we need our reunion because people need to be able to keep up with us.

They have no idea what we're up to.

We're so private.

You know, we're so private.

We're not on Facebook.

I love that they shared this.

I love that they all went and they seem to be on good terms.

But that also means that Kristen's is next year.

Oh, yeah.

But her grade wasn't like interesting to me.

That girl, Jessica, was such a messica.

Like, it was just kristen jessica it was just kristen yeah and that was kristen's problem too that's why she couldn't stop hanging out with the older kids yeah yeah yeah she'll go of course she was a queen then queen now She's really been making waves on her podcast.

Have you been seeing?

I have.

She has decided to give podcasting like her full attention.

And she's kind of a born podcaster.

She lives in a very interesting life, but she's also like smart and like well-spoken.

So she's kind of built for this life.

And she has a great co-host in Justin.

So it's like perfect to bounce ideas off of.

I love that for her.

And it's a Dam Media production, Rising Tides.

Love it.

Are you ready for our next story?

So Apple Martin debuted this weekend at the Paris Debutante Ball.

Now, we talked about this ball last year, right?

Yes, I was telling you all, TikTok has opened my eyes.

Last year was the first year I knew about this.

It's this really old school, first of all, Debutante Ball.

I know they do that in the South, but like, it's really this outdated thing.

But the one in Paris, it's like one of the remaining balls, and it's for for like an elite, elite international group of gals.

So they come from all over the world.

It is the richest, the most royal, people from famous families like Apple Martin, actual royals whose parents are prince, some of them are princes and princesses, a lot of them like billionaires in Asia.

It's such an interesting group.

And if you looked at them, you might not recognize the women besides for like Apple Martin.

But on TikTok, they break down who everyone is, who their parents are, what they're wearing, like their jewels.

It's literally Marjorie Post.

Like, it's insane.

Yeah, it's called Le Ball de Debutantes and Apple Martin.

I feel like they could do better than that.

It's when in a custom Valentino gown, she looked amazing.

She's very her mom was there.

Her dad was there.

Her grandma was there.

She ate like every, it was really a family affair.

It was like her bat mitzvah.

It was like her bat mitzvah.

There's so much footage coming out of it, too.

And I feel like they've very slowly been like opening Apple Martin up to the public eye.

I feel like she lived a very normal private life and now she's a certain age.

I think when she turned 18, she did this like little Vogue spread.

They've done it very slowly and very tastefully.

I think it's clear that like she wants to do modeling or, you know, something.

And so this was like kind of her coming out, her debutante, and obsessed.

She's very beautiful.

I loved seeing the mom and dad and Blythe.

A lot of people also didn't know that Blythe Danner is Gwyneth Paltrow's mom.

So when the pictures of Apple, her parents and her grandmother, were people were like, why is Blythe Danner there?

A lot of people didn't know that.

That's her Nepo Baby

alliance.

Obsessed, just obsessed.

and it's nice to see them co-parenting you know consciously uncoupling they are very they're being very conscious here and that's always nice to see lily collins also debuted at this ball did you know that in 2007

and also so did scout willis into lula willis which kind of like ruins

yeah i feel like it would be a little bit more um like top tier than that wait i want to see lily collins at the debutante ball she looks adorable and by the way the picture looks like it could have been taken yesterday she she's timeless

you're timeless.

Oh, she's so cute.

Yeah.

Oh, she's adorable.

Lori Harvey debuted there and Ava Philippi.

Oh, I could see both of them.

Wait, I want to see Lori Harvey debutante.

As did Billy Lorde and Francesca Eastwood.

Those that makes sense.

Like the people who do come from Hollywood, it's not a lot, but it's people from big families.

That's why the Willises, it's really a lot, not about who you are, but who your parents are.

So while, yes, rumor Willis is

Bruce Willis is Bruce Willis.

And their mom's Demi Moore, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, Lori Harvey.

Oh, and Margaret Qualey, too.

Classic.

Lori Harvey looks sick.

This is like my favorite rabbit hole to go down.

And shout out to the girlies on TikTok who are like always doing those recap videos, telling you who everyone is, what they're wearing.

And

she's actually the first debutante to wear Valentino, which I guess was like a big deal.

And I think custom.

Custom.

And of course, the mother.

I don't know why I keep calling her the mother.

My best friend, Greta Paltrow.

She was also also wearing Valentino.

So it was a really pargy affair.

I bet it was like

the mother.

I wonder what it was really like on the inside.

Like,

do you think that's a really fun event?

Yeah, yeah, but I'm sure it's also like you have to remember that even though these people are like glitz and glamour, like they're still teenagers and they have their insecurities and drama and all of that.

So I think it's like a very high-stakes, high school

event.

I love it.

Yeah, really, really cute.

That's like now a fun thing we can look forward to every year.

Thanks, TikTok, for pointing this out.

It's so true.

And that dress was really Parge, like that blue.

Yeah.

Love.

And she wasn't even wearing a lot of makeup.

I mean, I guess that's what happens when you're like 17, but

she's very beautiful.

Very.

Are you ready for our next story?

Some almost casting news that's pretty crazy.

Judy Greer turned down an audition for Modern Families Claire Dunphy because she didn't want to be America's mom.

She said the role felt so limiting.

So, by the way, like,

I could see the role was written for Judy Greer.

The role was written for her.

They didn't get Judy Greer, so they got Foodie Freer.

Yeah, literally.

She is so wrong for this.

Does she stand by the decision?

So, this is, she's explaining.

She revealed in a recent episode of the Dinners on Me podcast that she passed on an audition for the role of Claire Dunphy.

She would have gotten it.

Told hosts, who's Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who portrayed much of your fave,

Mitchell is not my fave, by the way.

I know.

It was so annoying.

Okay.

That's a joke.

Who's your favorite on Modern Family?

Manny.

That's a really good, really good answer.

Who's yours?

I don't know.

It depends.

Gloria's up there.

None of the Dumphies.

They're all the worst.

I like Gloria's husband, too.

Yeah, of course, Jay.

It was either Gloria, Jay, or Cam.

Jay!

Or Cam, Mitchell's husband.

Yeah, but like he gets the hard Mitchell storylines.

You can't watch Cam without watching Mitchell, so I don't want to watch.

No, by the way, you can't watch Cam without watching Mitchell and watching Lily, who as she gets older talks more, like is the worst character.

So yeah, I guess like it's like the best family is Gloria, Manny, and Jay, and that's why they're the best characters.

100%.

Yeah.

So Jr.

De Greer said that at that point in her career, she was starting to play characters with children.

In a movie, people kind of see it and then they forget, she said.

In a TV show, it's just like, you're a mom.

That's it.

She added that she didn't even want kids in real life at the time and that it was not even on the table for her.

She said, I was like, I think I'm not going to audition for it.

I was really torn about it, but I ended up obviously not.

Who knows if I would have gotten it anyway?

I know.

You would have.

I was just like, I don't know if I want to be America's mom yet.

Okay, well, good, because you didn't become it and you missed out on a million dollars an episode for like, what, they did over 100 episodes?

Good job.

Good job, Judy Greer.

No, and like that's the thing.

And I think Claire is the worst.

That's one of the last shows that benefits from like rerun checks.

Yeah, that and Big Bang Theory.

It's like old school syndicate money.

Yeah, like set for life, but okay, you didn't want to be America's mom and be seen in this.

Okay, so go back to work.

Go back to work now.

And also she did guest star on the show

in the first season, like as someone's girlfriend.

Oh, that's interesting that she, in the first season.

Yeah, Phil Dunphy's ex-girlfriend.

I mean, I love almost casting news, and I feel like what's so great about it is that the person, you know, like it's like Harrison Ford could have been Jack in Titanic, whatever.

And he ended up being Harrison Ford, so it's not a big deal, but he always, they always express regret.

Like, they're like, damn, I should have taken that one, or I was wrong about that one.

That's what's so funny about it.

But, like, her kind of standing by that decision, like, it was a bad call.

And just like, let's own it, Judy.

Own it.

Yeah, maybe, like, she regretted it later in the podcast episode, but this variety write-up, I'm not sensing the regret.

Yeah, I don't sense the.

But But I also think like when you miss out on something like that, like it's kind of what you have to tell yourself to sleep at night.

It's because you can't live a life of regret.

You can't.

Right, because Judy Greer is famous, but she's not, you know, set for life famous.

Right.

That's why with this story, it's like Harrison Ford almost, but he's still Harrison Ford, so it doesn't matter, you know.

Judy Greer is still a working actor.

Yeah.

I love her.

Yeah, me as well.

She wouldn't have had to work as hard.

She wouldn't have to be in that weird Christmas pageant movie that I almost bought a ticket to but decided against.

What's that?

It's in theaters?

Yeah, there was like before Wicked came out.

I wanted to go to the movies and there was like nothing to see.

So I almost bought tickets to like this.

It's called like a Christmas pageant or something.

She plays like a mom.

And I didn't buy it because it didn't look red.

Understood.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story, our fourth story, some podcasting news?

Oh, we always.

Guess who's launching a podcast?

I mean, who is?

I actually, like, it's not the usual because when I tell you this person, you're going to be like, oh,

don't they have a podcast slash, why would they even want a podcast?

And it's

Oprah.

Oprah's new weekly podcast will include interviews with Oprah's book club authors.

So Oprah is expanding her presence in the podcast sphere.

Oprah's book club invites fans to listen to the TV personality and conversation with select book club authors in the Oprah podcast.

The weekly podcast will feature Oprah interviewing one book club author each month with other episodes, including discussions with leaders, global newsmakers, best-selling authors, visionaries, and cultural change makers.

She's cool.

She also hosts Oprah's Super Soul podcast, which is why, like, she's,

it's not unfamiliar to hear Oprah's name in podcasting, but also, like, she's had, like, a million TV shows.

She's just in media, so it's not like we're finally hearing from Oprah.

Yeah, but I do feel like, aside from the Redheads, like, the celebrity book club space, which is becoming really big and really popular, hasn't taken to the podcasting space yet.

Like, I'm surprised Reese doesn't do that.

And let's talk about what this means for the Redheads because she's kind of like coming for your neck.

Yeah.

She obviously saw the success.

I think so.

I think she saw that

there's a want

for it.

The thing is, it seems like we're doing kind of different stuff here.

So I'll let her do her thing.

We don't have to do that.

And let me tell you why I like this.

I just read a book that was in Oprah's book Club Choice, but it was like a memoir of the person's life.

So they talk in the book about when they met Oprah.

Not when their book made the list, but they met Oprah in their professional life.

And they met,

basically this woman became a ghostwriter, not a ghostwriter, but like an editor.

And the person she was helping write a book got chosen by Oprah and him and Oprah did like a little bit of a

press tour and that's where she met Oprah.

And Oprah's like really involved in the books that she chooses and like she gets to know, she took them out to lunch.

She really did, it's not like, I feel like, you know, some celebrity book clubs, they just like choose a book and it's not like, she really meets them.

She puts a, not you, of course not.

She meets with them.

She like really champions them.

She definitely reads the book.

So I think that like this is actually a low lift for her because she's already meeting these people and getting to know them.

And so like doing an interview, why not?

I actually think this is a great idea.

Yeah, it's a no-brainer and makes sense.

Yeah.

So also she's been doing her book club for 28 years as part of the first, that was like the first segment on the Oprah Wind Freed show of her book.

She's a pioneer.

Yeah.

So this is the first time.

She actually walked so the redheads could run.

Rising tides raise all shades.

Do you think her and Rhys hate each other?

I think that they can convince themselves that they're different.

And because they are different.

They are.

But

they're similar too.

Yeah.

I guess Oprah hasn't gotten to the place yet where she's trying to develop any of these projects into movies or TV shows.

And that really would be the competitive part.

Because you're in multiple book clubs.

But like, I think a lot of people are copying what Reese has done, or at least trying to.

Who do you think picks better books?

I don't think it's about better.

I think books that appeal more to me are Reese's book choices, and I think that Oprah's are really serious.

I think Oprah's book club reaches a little bit of an older crowd, like a bit more mature, more serious topics.

And Reese's still are swirly a little bit.

Yeah.

I don't think any of Oprah's choices are swirly.

Like the one that in the book that I was reading about, the book that she chose was about prison reform, and then the other one was about the Equal Justice Initiative, that guy Brian.

So like it's really heavy stuff.

Yeah.

I want to see like a list of her.

I think that might have been the first one.

And also, I feel like it's a lot of non-fiction.

Yes.

Yeah.

Which I like.

Yeah.

So I just, I think I gravitate more towards race, but that doesn't mean it's better.

Speaking of, I'm reading our book for the Redheads.

We're reading Shred Sisters.

It's our last book of the year.

Dana chose it.

It's really good so far.

I'm really excited.

I'm reading the Redheads pick as well, God of the Woods.

What do you think?

It's long, but it's good.

Yeah, I feel like you're not reading it hastily.

I'm not, but that has nothing to do with the book and more to do with the space that I'm in.

The lifestyle choice.

The lifestyle.

Okay, calm down.

I'm not smoking cigarettes.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

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And welcome.

Our fifth and final story, a little follow-up news to yesterday's lead story, Vanner Pump rules.

Andy Cohen is addressing the bombshell casting change and said it's the absolute right thing to do.

So Andy addressed.

And he's never going to say the opposite, but let's hear what he has to say.

Right.

He addressed the network's decision to replace the series Longtime Stars with a new group of close-knit servers on monday's episode of his serious xm show andy cohen live he said bravo announced or word got out that they're revamping the show and i have to say this is first of all the absolute right thing to do he said he was so impressed that producers were able to keep the show going over the last couple years despite the main stars no longer working at sur i think what was more impressive was that they were still able to like connect it to sur not that they could do a show yeah what was impressive was actually like the two or three years before scandival the fact that we still watched that was impressive, because that was seriously some of the worst television.

Like the Charlie, Danica, Brett Max here's

like Jackson, the end of Jax's career on Vanderpump Rolls.

Like it was just, it was horrible.

Yeah.

Like he said he want to be compensated for watching that shit.

Yeah, I agree.

He said the entire point of the show morphed and changed as it went on, and it wound up that James Kennedy was the only one with any kind of footprint answer because he was DJing there occasionally.

Now he's gone on and he's got a residency in Vegas and he's having great success.

And they're all having a lot of fun.

And we're supposed to believe that he is a residency in Vegas, but he's going to fly to LA.

I actually DJ at a restaurant that doesn't even have a DJ booth.

I actually do believe that he like does see you next Tuesdays or whatever because

so many people come.

It's great threat.

It's like where he got his start.

It's

a good thing for everyone.

Explain to me, and I would love to talk to perhaps Diana or Guillermo, the managers of Sur, how they never thought to invest in a DJ booth.

Like the way they would throw James next to the bar on a pedestal, like literally with a laptop.

no dj booth like and see you next tuesday became like a huge event for them it was just so lowbrow it just to see his instagram like he's literally playing huge festivals vegas clubs he's standing on a cardboard box at sir like it just it makes no sense no i know you know where he was in performing the science museum and that oh yeah

that one hurt um then he also talked about how cast wouldn't film together he said and then you have the others who don't want to be in the same room much less on the same show with each other and that makes sense too so what you were left with was really just a few pieces of what the original Vanderpump Rules was.

So, I think this is a very smart programming move.

He likened the shake-up to the Roni reboot.

He said, In Roni's case, we had 13 seasons of a show that was so beloved and so great, and it went on and on.

And sometimes for a show, it's the end of the road or it's time to curve, or swerve, or pivot.

And that's where we were with Roni, and that's what's happening with Vanderpump Rules.

No, they need to stop bringing up Roni because I think it's not a good example.

It's not.

And what they did with Roney was like

they had experienced this with Atlanta, with Jersey, with Beverly Hills, with OC, and they weren't sure what to do with these franchises that had OG castmates, but that were kind of like at a standstill.

So they took a risk and they did it on New York, and it did not work.

And have you seen them reboot any other of those franchises that I just mentioned?

No, because it didn't work.

No, and actually, like, OC is coming back

from the ashes.

And I think a lot of the answers for the future lie in the past.

In the past, they're not going to be able to do that.

Bringing back thirsty, thirsty

Tamra and Alexis.

And that's why now my new philosophy is that sometimes someone needs a break and I don't want to see them anymore.

And I'm like, I can't have this person on the show.

But that doesn't mean that I feel that way forever.

Like there is a time and place for them to come back.

And I think that's what they need to do more of instead of wiping the slate clean, tabula rasa.

It's actually a brilliant point.

And there are so many women when you come to think of the New York franchise.

I do think that like getting rid of

Dorinda.

Okay, actually, no.

But getting rid of Dorinda was important.

I feel like she was kind of, and people love her, and I love her too, but like she was the real core of the issue in the sense that like the women would get blackout, drunk, say the most horrible things to each other and in the morning not remember and not even really apologize.

So like it was, she really was like the worst at that.

So I agree with cutting her out.

But there's a lot of people.

And then also, and then maybe in three years, bring her back.

And then also, I think people get like a little too big for their britches where like this is, they think this is my show.

And losing the job for a year or two will teach you that this is a

this is a group project.

It's so dreaming.

It's to be humbled Teresa yeah um but when you think about the New York women that they could have brought back like very Alexis Bellino vibes because Alexis is really doing a very good job of shaking shit up on OC like I mean I don't she would never especially she's moved now but there was a time where they should have brought Jill's Aaron back and it was like so obvious she would have done it and she was if you ever watch those OG seasons I re-watched them during COVID she is a star She is the reason that The Real Houses of New York is a successful show.

She was hysterical.

Drama, even if you didn't agree with her versus Bethany, that was the first big, big drama on Real Houses of New York.

There are so many New York women, especially a lot of them are a little thirsty, which is good because Alexis Belini is thirsty.

You need that.

You want the job.

There are so many women.

So I actually think you're 100% right.

The OC formula, which I never thought I would say, they got some good new women, like the Emily and Gina.

Like, that was good.

Everyone else who came and went, Peggy Solhanian, like, no.

But they got Emily and Gina, and then the bringing back of Alexis.

They need to bring Rec Retchen.

They need to bring Rec Retchen.

And they brought back Heather?

Yeah,

it's a really good point.

I'm trying to think who else in New York they could have brought back.

There have been Christian.

Saikman?

No.

Carol, Aviva, Heather.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.

Heather.

Well, they did

bring Heather back, and they did her dirty, and she left.

She didn't go so well.

Aviva.

What about Samuel?

Aviva.

I saw Aviva dress her on the street the other day.

Did I tell you that?

I feel like you could tell me that on any day, you know?

She's always on the street.

Sounds like a street walker.

viva a viva jackie carol and actually andy just said i forget it was either on his video show

they had um a come to jesus moment they are they had a big friendship mending conversation wow

so yeah i mean those were the days bethany and carol like that was tinsley even though she is so moved on

I actually didn't think Tinsley was a great housewife while she was on.

She was just a part of good seasons.

So I, like, people think of her as like, oh, that was great.

She literally left left in the middle.

She was always whining like a 16-year-old.

Like, she was actually horrible.

No, she wasn't a great housewife, but she was- No, she was like living in that apartment and she was just like, it was just chaos.

It was chaos.

And you want to root for her.

Yeah, but I think if they could do, because they're definitely doing something with New Jersey.

I don't, they don't, Margaret and all the women have said, we have not heard from production.

None of us have contracts.

None of us have been fired, but we don't know what we're doing.

I think if they, they need to put some, some OGs on ice.

And, you know, say what you want, because I feel like it's kind of what we were saying with Lisa Rinna.

Like, people like Margaret are necessary for the show.

Yeah.

She is.

And she has kept this show, which for a couple of years has been on a little bit on Steve, on, what do you say when you're on

fumes, fumes.

She has breathed new life into it.

And I know some people, you know, don't like her.

She ruffles people's feathers, but look where that got us with Lisa Arena.

Like, bitch, come back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we just need a breather.

And

Beverly Hills is on tonight, so we'll both watch and recap tomorrow.

Yes, I'm all caught up already.

So

we will do that.

And we'll also do, we're crushing time, by the way, like just absolutely crushing time.

Oh, yeah.

Don't not a worry in the world.

We have deer toasters, and we can relax and just ease into dear toasters at our weekly advice segment where every Tuesday, Jackie and I will take three submissions from the swirlies who wrote in to us.

They're in trouble and they need us, and we're going to do our absolute best to guide them through with sound of mind advice.

If you ever want to write in, you can, of course, do that.

Email us, dear toasters at gmail.com, or head on over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com.

Scroll down a little bit.

There's a submission box.

Both ways are totally anonymous.

There's not one way that'll get you on the show more than the other.

They all end up in the same inbox.

Do not worry.

And if you've also written to us recently and we've read your prompt on air and you have an update for us, we would love to hear from you.

Sometimes you guys just like leave us hanging and it's like kind of rude.

So if you have an update, please let us know.

Are you ready, Jacks?

I am ready.

Hello to my favorite ladies.

I'm in dire need of your help.

I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over three years and he's been nothing but amazing.

We hardly fight.

We get along and we just really trust each other.

The other day, we were drinking, and I asked him, So, is there anything that I don't know about you?

Like, have you done anything crazy that is, I guess, you know, concerning but interesting at the same time?

He started laughing and he took a deep breath, and he told me that he slept with his stepsister, who was absolutely gorgeous.

I love her so much.

I consider her one of my good friends.

I'm just kind of shocked and thrown off about this, and I don't know how I feel about it.

How would you take this information?

And yes, they slept together after their parents were married.

Okay,

so um, I just, I,

yeah,

um,

it

I'm only concerned because you're like, it seems like your takeaway here, like the thing you're most upset about is that like you know this girl, you trust this girl, and that they did this thing behind your back almost, but it wasn't behind your back, like that they've had this secret that they didn't tell you about.

Not the fact that he slept with his stepsister.

Stepsisters, you don't share a parent.

This is so like murky because it's gross.

But Claudia had Sharon Josh, and we all loved Clueless.

Okay.

Sharon Josh is when they when Sharon Josh got together their parents weren't married at the time.

They had been married previously.

Yeah, but that's just like due to the age and the timeline of everything like that wouldn't.

And by the way, we love, but we also talk about how fucking weird it is.

I just feel like if you're gonna sleep with your stepsibling, you have to marry them.

That's the only way like

you don't just like hook up with Jackie.

I'm sorry, the rule is that you can't sleep with your stepsibling.

No, but like say two people's parents are getting together and then like the kids kind of like are get romantic and wouldn't it be cute if everyone got married it's only cute if everyone gets married

so i don't know like the thing is he didn't have step siblings i don't know like legally it's fine you know more like

genetically it's fine right this is just really fucking crazy and like not something that most people have to deal with because it's a family most people can't sleep with a family member no of course and by the way there are different levels of step siblings let's say your parent your mom remarries someone while you're in third grade and you live in the same house as a brother.

Like, of course, if you're all grown-ups and you've never lived in the same house together, like, I understand why it's less weird, but I really will not just sort of like sweep over how weird this is.

Like, Claudia, it's so weird, but like, of all the people you could say.

Is this a deal breaker?

Literally, she's describing a perfect relationship.

I'm sorry, this would give me the ick.

It's so,

it's so uncomfortable.

uncomfortable.

But it doesn't sound like she's even that upset about like the incestity vibes.

She's more upset that like there was the secret that she didn't know.

She feels like a betrayal.

That's the vibe I'm getting.

It's both upsetting because, say, he slept with his stepsister at one point, but the parents were no longer together, so he never saw her anymore.

Like, okay, that'd just be like a weird, yeah, exactly, a weird, interesting kind of thing.

No, but they are still together.

But they are still together.

So it's both.

It's the fact that he slept with his stepsister, but also the fact that they're still together, and so she's always around.

I'm having a really hard time not pressing my break up with your boyfriend button because

there's good stuff here, as Steve Brady would say.

Now let me ask you something.

Say that this is the unfortunate truth and things happen and, you know, things happen, okay?

Should he have ever told her?

No.

Is this something he should have taken to his grave?

Yes.

And don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

Yeah, let's go.

Was that the question she asked?

Yeah, it was crazy.

It was crazy.

Tell me something really disturbing about you so I have to ign about you for the rest of my days.

That's what you're saying.

Is there anything that I don't know about you?

Like, have you done anything crazy that is, I guess, concerning and interesting at the same time?

You were asking literally for him to say this.

Like, you almost knew that he fucked his sister and you wanted to know.

I love how we're blaming her, but like, of course,

keep your head in the sand.

Jackie, I'm only blaming her because I seriously don't know how to guide her.

Like, this is so crazy.

I don't have step siblings.

I actually don't even know people who have step siblings, really.

So, like, I don't know much about this.

We have a half-brother, and that's different because we share a parent.

Like, that's

I know.

It's disgusting.

I don't know how to help you.

I seriously, this is just, okay, maybe if I don't press my break up with your boyfriend button, I'm pressing my, I'm sorry, I can't help you button.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna press my, like, giving grace and holding space button.

Wow, that's really mature of you.

I just, she's describing a perfect relationship.

Like, I could see watching a movie about this and watching, like, the parents get together, and then maybe the young son and the young daughter, like, a lot of late nights, and they, and they hook up, ooh, awkward, but they don't want, like, I could see liking it in a movie, so I'm gonna have to hold space,

but I'm sorry to you.

I'm just having a hard time, honestly, not judging everyone involved here.

Like, it's, I need to recuse myself from the steered toasters.

I am not thinking clearly.

That is so unfortunate.

And this is just a warning to everyone.

Don't ask your partner to share a concerning but interesting fact about them.

Yeah, it was such a specific question.

Like you knew he had relations with his sister.

Yeah.

And I guess if you never picked up that vibe before, that's good.

Yeah, well, you know this now.

And God speed to you and your whole family, honestly.

Okay, this one's really crazy.

Hey, Swirlies, this past Thanksgiving, my husband and I announced our pregnancy.

When we broke the news to my mother-in-law.

Two days ago?

Yes.

Okay.

When we broke the news to my mother-in-law, she had a photo shoot with my sonogram.

In one, she held her stomach as if she was pregnant.

I wasn't in a single photo.

She then announced on her social media before I could with the caption, so happy for my baby boy.

I was devastated.

My husband told me that I needed some self-reflection, that if I had a baby, my husband told me that I needed some self-reflection if I had a baby just to post on social media.

Oh, okay.

I was outraged.

I didn't understand that sentence.

Yeah, it took me a second too, but her husband said something really fucking rude.

My husband told me that I needed to self-reflect if i was just having a baby quote to post on social media like that's all i care about essentially yeah i was outraged and i told him if he would treat me like that he could stay with his mom and he's been there for three days girl stand your ground these two are nuts and honestly so as long as people that she posted was her and him and the sonogram

No, I think just her, the sonogram, and her holding her belly.

Listen, everyone who sees that picture on her feet is just going to like that, everyone can see.

She's literally showing everyone like how crazy she is.

No, I'm sorry.

I think that like when it comes to mother-in-law like antics, you do give a little bit of grace for like her being, you know, an elder and having respect, of course.

And I think that this is one of the things like you don't bite your tongue on.

This is insane, by the way.

Like fucking crazy ass behavior.

Like this is behavior of somebody who belongs in an institution.

Yeah.

Having sonogram pictures with someone else's baby.

I don't care if it's your grandson.

Like it's like so crazy, but she's exposing herself.

And like you've got to pick your battles.

And like you, seriously, you cannot stress over everything when you're pregnant.

Like de-escalate.

Like protect your peace.

The the world's affecting her whole like the what is she like everyone the fact that she spoke up to her husband and her husband took the mother's side and now's staying at the mom's

well that's an issue you you need to you can't give in because the point is so large and needs to be made yes

yeah like your husband should 100 have had your back for three days and you're pregnant I don't want to look too much into it.

Just

no, but don't give in.

No, no, no.

You're not wrong.

Like, if you just need to tell you, you're not wrong.

Like, that is so crazy.

But you also need to protect your peace and lower your stress levels.

That's all you can do in this situation.

That's fine.

So, like, maybe you should have,

with just the photo shoot, like, understood this crazy bitch for what she is and just moved on.

But the fact that you voiced a concern to your husband and he ended up literally leaving the house and staying with his mom, like such toxic behavior.

And he needs to learn before you have kids.

Like, I'm the number one bitch in this group, not your fucking mom.

Yeah.

So he can stay there for as long as he wants.

Just know, you might be lonely, but he's staying at his mother's mother's house and his mom's fucking crazy.

So you will last longer than him.

Do not give in.

Agreed.

But remain calm.

Remain calm, of course, of course.

Protect your piece.

Your toes are just stressing me out.

Yeah.

Turdy, protect your peace.

It's not good.

It's not good.

It's not good.

Oh, man.

Some people are so fucking good.

By the way, you're 100% right.

Yep.

Okay, ready?

This is also a really crazy one.

Hello, Swirlies.

My boyfriend texted me in the middle of the day recently to let me know that he'd made a huge sale at his job.

He asked me to get dinner that night at our favorite place to celebrate.

We had a great dinner.

I asked every detail about the sale, congratulated him, told him how proud I was, etc.

As we were waiting for the check, I told him a story from my day at work.

I work in a hospital and the story involved a sick patient.

His demeanor immediately changed.

He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and became instantly cold.

He asked me if I was going to finish my drink so we could leave.

I asked him if I'd done something wrong and he said that I, quote, sucked the energy out of the the room and he told me it was quote poor etiquette to bring up a story like that at a celebratory dinner.

He asked if I would have told the same story if we were celebrating my friends getting engaged.

He literally won't let it go.

He keeps using the phrase poor etiquette and I am so embarrassed.

Did I do something wrong or is this a red flag?

Run fast for your mother.

Run fast for your

mother.

Yeah.

Okay, run.

It's time to start fresh.

This, you know what this is?

Like, you know who I immediately thought of?

Who?

This sounds like something like Zach Bryan would do.

It's on the surface, like, okay, whatever.

But it's so manipulative.

Yeah.

And it's so evil.

Like, you did literally nothing wrong.

Okay, first of all, you made one sale.

You got promoted.

Like, what?

I see a child that the mood has to be up here for an entire dinner.

Like, we can't just have a conversation.

And agreed, Claudia.

You made a sale.

We're celebrating the sale.

You're not the president.

Like, the world doesn't stop.

Other people had days too.

Yeah.

And like a part of a celebratory dinner is like you still are having dinner.

What do people do at dinner?

You talk about your days.

Right.

And how long can you seriously wax on about one sale?

Like,

no one else would be able to do it.

It's definitely not a whole meal.

Two people got engaged.

Would you share this?

That's different.

That's a group of people.

Like, the two of you are having a conversation.

You're in a relationship.

You're sharing your day.

That's different than dinner party conversation.

Yes, perhaps a story about a sick patient.

It's not dinner party conversation.

I just want to say, like, your partner telling you that you suck the energy out of the room, like, that's not a normal way to be spoken to.

That, like.

No, and to say nothing, to say, that's not normal.

To say that it's poor etiquette, if someone like went on and on about my poor etiquette, I'd have to stop them right there.

They're like, okay, I didn't marry Emily Post.

G'day, sir.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm pushing my breakout with your boyfriend button.

Like, this is really crazy.

And I feel like either he's like a really crazy boyfriend and you have other stories to tell us, or this is the beginning.

Like, he showed us really quickly, like, that he's fucking crazy.

I would run for your absolute life.

Like, he does not sound like a good, a good boyfriend, a good partner.

I'm sorry.

I know I say that all the time.

So, like, it loses its meaning, but you absolutely have to go.

I'm pushing my this is a red flag button.

Evaluate the rest of the relationship.

Okay, that's good too.

And you know.

You, dear toaster, dear reader.

Suck the energy out of the room.

That's so fucking mean.

That's so crazy.

While she's like placating to your dumbass all night, you made a sale.

Like, it's so fucking stupid.

I can't.

No, when she said that, I thought he got promoted.

I'm like, okay, that's a big deal.

Like, that we could talk about.

You made one sale.

Like, how infrequently are you making sales?

Isn't your job sales?

What did she say that he does?

Maybe he's like a realtor.

Maybe he sold like a big.

She didn't say.

But still, if you're a realtor, like selling a house is huge, but like it shouldn't be like a cause for celebration.

Talk about the rest of our day.

No, like, by the way, if you're a real estate agent who goes out to dinner every time they make a sale, one, either you're broke because you go out to dinner like all the time, or two, you're not a very good real estate agent.

Like, it shouldn't be, if you work in sales, it shouldn't be a huge monumental deal to make a sale.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I hate breakfast.

I'm concerned.

I'm concerned across the board for the toasters out there.

We knew

Thanksgiving was going to be a rough one, but honestly, I have a pit.

Yeah, me too.

I'm just picturing the mother-in-law like having a sexy photo shoot in her backyard with a sonogram that isn't hers.

Just think about what the people on Facebook think.

Like at worst, they think she's pregnant.

She's having a geriatric pregnancy.

And at best, they see what you see and what we all see.

Yeah.

Do they, though?

A lot of themselves are probably mother-in-laws themselves.

I'm like, this is crazy ass behavior that they would.

So just let's just protect your bees.

Let the crazy crazy.

Protect your beast.

We made it.

We totally crushed this time-wise.

You're going to head to the airport and see what's going on.

We have so much time.

We could even sing our party song.

I just want to sing it all day long.

I love to go and sing that party song.

It makes me so happy.

I could smoke a bong.

But I won't because I'm with child.

And that's against the law.

And I obey.

I obey.

Keep sweet and pray and obey.

You guys, thank you so much for listening to the Toast Monday Morning Show where we deliver the fastest reasoning every Monday, Friday on YouTube.

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We are love ya.

Oh, Claude, let's try one here.

Let's just see.

Maybe the curtain is our secret charm.

Okay.

I feel like maybe we did it.

I feel, I always feel that way.

Okay.

Love ya.

Bye.