Christmas With The Hanks: Friday, November 15th, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Friday.

Just pat yourselves on the back.

Congratulations.

Congratulations, class of 2004.

We did it!

Congrats, grads.

We are graduates of this week, which I think is probably like the 48th, 44th week of the year.

And does it ever feel like just yesterday that I sat on this show and was like, ah, it was just Friday and now it's Monday?

Like that day will be here before we know it.

So make sure to just take a moment, acknowledge the space that you're in.

It's Friday morning/slash afternoon.

We have so much goodness ahead of us.

It will be gone before you know it.

And you will be devastated that you didn't take a moment to appreciate and acknowledge the space that you're currently in.

I'm appreciative of

it, But it's just like, it doesn't feel like a Friday anymore.

Do you know what I mean?

Maybe because my schedule is like off kilter.

We had a crazy night last night.

She was out at the club.

I went.

She like literally left her kids at home.

I went hard in the paint last night.

Literally out of your house at 9 p.m.

Like that's insane.

I was, you guys, I was partying in Miami last night.

Shots, shots.

Shots, shots.

Shots, shots, shots.

What made the thing so crazy is that I didn't leave my kids at home and my kids were with me.

We went to this like really cool light festival.

That's what I was talking about at the top.

A lot of people thought that was a secret project reveal, but no, Jackie check her kids to a holiday lights festival.

We went to a holiday lights festival.

We were out so late.

It was really, really cool, but really tiring.

Went to bed late, just broken today.

And now it's a Friday, which is a cause to celebrate, but like I have a version of a hang.

Did you feel like you created a core memory for the kids?

100%.

It was so good.

Nothing worse than like if doing all this work, packing up the snacks, packing up the car, getting all the kids, and like it's not even good.

And that happens.

And that's just like part of

this festival you were going to.

Like while I was excited for you, I was worrisome that it was going to be like a sort of Wonka festival type of like fake like folding tables put together in the middle of Miami.

So I was worried.

So happy that it was not Wonka.

It was extremely premium.

If you're considering going to Luminosa in Miami, you should do it and definitely bring your kids.

This is not the balloon museum because I'll tell you when not to go.

Where I thought you were going.

And because it reminded me when we were kids growing up, something we used to do was there are these neighborhoods in southern Florida that are known for their Christmas lights.

And they put up like these really extravagant displays.

And people just come and drive through these neighborhoods.

Like, and take, I thought that's what you were doing.

And I was so jealous.

Well, we can do that all season.

And also something that we used to do as kids.

Is that like Butterfly World or the Trade Winds?

There are these like other light installations.

These ones you drive through.

It's just like drive-through lighting experience.

And that's really fun.

We did that last year.

We'll do it again.

We don't have to get out of the car.

This one, like, I should have worn back clothes.

I was working hard.

I had like a total opposite type of evening.

I started a book.

I made myself mac and cheese.

Yeah, I was eating like processed foods because Ben was gone and I had nobody to make me dinner.

So it was fine.

I survived.

I had Goodles.

They say they have protein.

Don't tell RFK.

They say they have protein and fiber in it.

So like, I'm good.

Do you see those memes?

Like me going for a late night snack, like and then I think about RFK looking at me.

That's funny.

And I pay for that.

I tallly to that.

Like, I also,

like,

I feel about like processed foods and like the big food industrial complex.

Like, some days I'm like such a believer, and I'm like, I have to eat from the ground.

And other days, I'm like, what am I supposed to upend my whole life?

Like, I would eat.

Like, I feel, like, it just depends on the day, like, how truly like lazy I'm feeling.

Yes, I understand that also if you're an ingredient household I'm sure you've seen the memes like going for a late night snack but realizing like we're just an ingredient household.

So it's like all the things to make a late night snack.

I am definitely an ingredient household.

And it's not even because I think a lot of people end up ingredient households because like they don't consistently grocery shop.

They eat out a lot.

For me, it's like if any food comes into my house, it gets eaten.

Except for like the bottles of ketchup.

So like anything you could possibly eat has already been eaten by Ben or I.

But you you guys don't keep a stocked pantry.

That is like an ethos.

No, we do.

You do.

I feel like whenever I'm at your house, it's like need to have food is there.

Well, isn't that like,

what do you mean by that?

Like,

you buy tostitos.

I'll see if I have something.

I'll tell you if I have it.

Okay.

Do you have tostitos?

Okay, not like that specific brand, but I have like baked lays.

No, but like chips and salsa.

The thing with chips and salsa is like they get eaten.

And we just had chili.

We just had chili.

So, no, okay, I have tostito salsa, but not the chips.

Okay, the chips got eaten.

That's classic because the jar is bigger than the eggs.

No, the jar lasts forever.

Maybe that's what RFK was talking about.

I've been recently going through jars.

Like, I find myself without my Tostito salsa a lot, and it's and it puts me in a bad spot because I do know at some point I need to reevaluate Tostito salsa.

No, like, no, listen, RFK, it's you have to not include me if he wants to come for Tostitos.

Like, the thing is, some items, no, seriously, I'll be so upset.

Some items are worth it.

That really is the difference.

Like, you know that they're not great for you, but you're like, you know what?

I'm enjoying it too much.

When it's like in everything, like, not everything is that good.

Not everything is worth, you know, the chemicals, but I'm sorry.

Don't tell me shit about fuck about Tostitos.

Like, I'll be so upset.

I'll feel sick.

I have nothing to tell you, by the way.

I'm just saying, like, I just know there's probably better ingredients, better salsa.

I don't, actually, I don't think that there is.

Maybe it doesn't taste as good, but that's what RFK is supposed to do.

He's supposed to take the bad ingredients out of the Tostito so we can enjoy our tosted tostitios guilt-free.

Sorry, we need to have a conversation about like all the bad things in food.

Like that's what makes it taste good.

Sorry, like

that you want to keep around.

I don't think I want to keep around.

I just think we have to be prudent.

I don't know, but look at you in Goodles.

Look at you and Goodles.

Okay, so yeah, I got guys I tried Goodles and I had it again for dinner last night.

Even though, you know, I was making it kind of, I was making it and I'm eating it.

I'm like, it's good, but it tastes like a little dusty.

Like, I don't know.

It's just like something.

And then this morning.

Do you not mix the dust in?

No, I was mixing so hard and it like wasn't liquefying.

And like, I put in a little bit of like a splash of water.

I was like, come on, let's go.

I ate it and it was fine, but it was chalky, you know?

And then this morning, I was watching this girl on TikTok and she was making like mac and cheese for her kids.

She was trying a new brand and she put in milk and I was like, oh my God, I forgot the milk.

No, I know.

The ingredients are literally on the butter.

The recipe is on the milk.

Not even recipe.

The butter is optional.

The butter is optional.

Literally, milk is the only non-optional one.

Like, I don't know.

I just like forgot.

I still ate the entire box.

Do you even have milk in your house?

I do.

I do.

For coffee.

And

yeah, like when I go to the grocery store, I'm always picking up a bottle of skim, you know?

That's good.

Milk was something I would have, I'd never had in my house before.

Kids, because I used half of it.

I think that growing up, like they teach you that milk is like so volatile.

And like, you know, spoiled milk, spoiled milk.

Meanwhile, I got a box of milk in my fridge for like a month.

Like, I don't know why they acted like it was gone in like less than a week.

Who is warning you about spoiled milk spoiled milk?

I just feel like spoiled milk is like a thing.

Like when you were kids, like you were always like afraid of like spoiled milk.

Don't cry over spilled milk.

Like, I know, milk, I just feel like I have been conditioned to believe that milk is like extremely sensitive.

Meanwhile, I got this box of milk, carton.

I swear to God, it's been in my fridge for a month and it's delicious.

Do you feel that call?

I do feel that call, but I also feel like it's like time feels so much longer when you're a kid.

So like a month when you're a kid feels like a year.

So you have to be careful.

I just want to say.

Whereas now, like you're much more aware of the days of the week and the days of the space continues.

I'm really turning into the good guys.

Like every episode we start talking about food

really what else okay we talked about meat yesterday we're just like what else feel like we're in our food era it's finally then it's the holidays everybody's gonna be carrying a little holiday weight it's so that time of year

i think i'm actually making a beef stew today if i can find the time oh my gosh i was thinking about beef stew um earlier this morning

I have some beef stew chunks that I took out of the freezer a few days ago.

So like, it's now or never.

It's kind of like shit or get off the pot.

No, it's like I don't want to waste this precious beef and it is Shabbat.

Like why not a beef stew?

Why not?

Are you worried about getting beef between your teeth?

Yes, but I have really great floss to it.

Yeah, and it would be lost without your floss.

And beef stew is worth getting beef between the teeth.

I can't say that.

Okay, that's what I'm saying about Tostitos.

Like some things are worth the journey.

Yeah.

I mean, I haven't replaced my Tostito salsa yet, so take that with a grain of salt.

And it'll be the last thing I ever replaced.

How about that?

Okay.

Oh, you think so?

And you know, I'm a little worried about RFK, I can't lie, because I heard him say something about Ozempic.

And he was like, listen, I think it's great, because obviously, like, obesity is a huge problem in this country, but I really want to tackle why.

Of course, like this is a cause and effect type of thing.

And I get it, but like, if he touches a tiny

hair on the head of Ozempic

he will hear from me

I think until the root cause is eradicated tackled and the problem is solved we leave Ozempic

but I am that is what I've heard like that is a counterargument I've heard to Ozempic it's like okay it's not fixing the problem they're still eating like the bad food their insides are still not great and we're not stopping the issue from continuing to happen.

So I agree with, you know, the root cause.

Ever since Lady Tan, I've just been such a root cause.

And this is just my official message/slash threat to Bobby.

Do not come.

Do not come

to Ozempic HQ because I am the CEO, and you are not welcome here.

Leave it alone.

Can you imagine by the time I finally get around to getting to get on Ozempic?

I need to stop.

Oh, I should be doing that.

Although it does expire, like you have to be careful.

how's it so decent

that's so fucking classic that's what's gonna happen and then the prices are gonna go even more up because now it's even more in demand

no worse that if it's just gone but not forgotten oh my god could you imagine that would be seriously so funny no it would actually not be funny

to some of us

who rely on it it's a life-saving med it's a life-saving drug i mean it is but then you have to question why the life was in jeopardy to to begin with.

Consider this because my I've put Bobby on notice.

Okay.

I'm older.

I'm older.

What's in the docket for today?

Stories are, give them a letter grade.

Stories are fun.

F is for fun.

Well, F is for failure when I said letter grade, but okay.

I know, but I couldn't.

It doesn't fall into the rubric, okay?

Some students just are not good testing.

We also have Queenie and Weenie, which I studied like extensively and thought really hard this morning morning about who I wanted to nominate for my Queenie and Weenie.

And I want to say it has not come to me, which doesn't really happen.

Sometimes I struggle with one, but there's usually like multiple candidates.

Was this like kind of a blah week?

Was it a blah week?

Let's look at what the story is.

Let me check it out.

It's like Grace Mary and myself.

John Mulaney and Olivia Munn.

Right.

Like, I don't know.

Oh, Megan Fox is pregnant.

Like, okay.

Right.

Yeah, I guess it was a bit of a quiet week.

So I'm still still going to think, and maybe by the end of the show, I will have come up with something, but I just want to let you know, it's not coming naturally to me this week.

Everything comes naturally.

And in a spirit

of transparency, it was important that I share that.

Thank you for sharing that.

I think I just saw a weenie candidate in my most.

Well, I mean, there's always Mark Ruffalo.

We'll never be truly without a weenie as long as Mark Ruffalo is still roaming this earth.

So true.

Well, let's get into the fun story, shall we?

Yes, let me think.

Was there anything else I wanted to chat to you about?

Chat to me, Molly Mae.

Oh, yeah.

I ran into it.

Okay, so I was walking on the street today on my way to work, listening to Phillip Phillips.

I'm definitely having like a Phillip Phillips renaissance, actually.

Not a lot of people know this about Phillip Phillips.

I discovered it yesterday on TikTok.

He actually is taking a Taylor Swift approach to some of his most popular music because he released it like post-idol when you're in that like piece of shit contract.

And he has a couple of Phillips versions out there floating around.

He did home.

He did gone, gone, gone.

Now long after you gone.

That's what I was listening to on the way to work today.

And as I was listening, i see this girl like walk by me and it took me a minute to register i was like oh man she's wearing a tmt beanie like it's not our logo anymore but back in the day when we were the morning toast most of our merch had that tmt logo and we made beanies and it was really old it must have been like 2019.

And I was like, oh my God, it took me like a second.

And I literally chased her down the street.

I was like, I love your hat.

And then it occurred to me, like, sometimes, and I've heard this happen, like, people will find

Toast merch as their good will, or like, I don't know, like, stole it from a friend and doesn't know.

And I was like, kind of attacking this girl.

I'm like, maybe she doesn't know.

And then she was like, oh my God.

And I felt so relieved.

And we took a picture together.

But like, I seriously, I wanted to ask her for the hat.

It's kind of like, I don't have it here.

I actually haven't seen it.

Which one is it?

I have a one.

I pretty much have every piece of merch we've ever made.

And it's pale pink.

Okay.

With a white, like stitched patch on the

forehead.

Patch?

Yeah.

Not embroidered.

Pale pink.

Okay, let me see.

It was like something at random.

I haven't seen it in years.

This must be how Calvin Klein feels when he walks around town seeing people in his designs.

It's so true.

Speaking of merch is still available, ShopToastmerch.com.

Place your orders, get your things, cozy winter wears.

You know, something that I meant to send you as a story this week that I thought you would find interesting.

But now we can just talk about it.

I don't know if you've heard because the department stores are doing their thing.

In New York City, like this is where they shine.

A lot of them, I walked past Bergdorfs the other day.

Curtains up.

They're going to do like a big unveiling.

Bloomingdale's just did this huge unveiling in partnership with Wicked.

So everyone's kind of like, you know, spending the dollars.

And it turns out Sachs has announced that they are not doing their big light show this year.

I saw it.

Did they say, did they give a reason?

Like money, the economy.

Like, they're not doing as good as they once were.

Money, money, money.

Usually it's sponsored.

Last year it was like Christian U.R.

was so sick.

Me and Ben actually saw it when we took a dying Theo to see the Rockefellers on her tree.

But I saw an interview with the CEO CEO, and he was like,

When we announced this, I think people like kind of ran with it.

You guys are a little bit misunderstanding.

We're still going to have like lights up around, like the whole building is going to be lit up.

They always do like a very pretty installation with like different windows, and then the whole building is covered in lights.

We're just not doing like a big show where like people are invited to like come.

Remember, uh, Jennifer Lawrence was there because it was your.

Yeah, so they're just not doing like a big ta-da.

But rest have no fear, the light show will go on.

Okay, so they.

It was nothing burger.

I'm glad we didn't choose it as a story.

That's like half a story.

Yeah.

They're just not having their like two-hour thing, but everything else for the season will be the same.

Yeah.

Like they're still.

It's giving like a little bit of pictures.

They're still getting dressed.

And then blaming us for, that's like when Kylie said she named her son Wolf and was like, oh, I don't know why everyone's calling him Wolf.

That's not his name.

Oh, it's like, I wonder where we got that from.

Because you told us.

It's because you told us.

I wonder where we got that from.

Oh.

Another thing is Skim's ex-Dolto Gigoana a story today.

It's a story, yeah.

I'll give my thoughts there because I saw it yesterday.

I wanted to talk about it.

So I think you're leading us into the fast five stories that you need to know.

The fast five stories that you need to know.

Oh, sorry, hold on.

I'm going to stop my timer.

Just been like having a lot of trouble recently.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Turdy, you want to talk about it?

Excuse me?

My glasses.

Wait, why are you wearing glasses?

Why are you wearing glasses?

Today's episode of The Toast is supported by.

Whose glasses are those?

Is it a sponsor for this next sponsor?

You're You're wearing the glasses.

No, this is like an inside joke.

It's not.

This is an inside joke.

Our first sponsor isn't Morby Parker.

It's an inside joke between me and my TikTok followers.

So basically, this pair of glasses

materialized inside my home.

I have no idea where they came from.

They look like something your husband wears.

Jackie.

First of all, they're not real glasses.

Like, they don't have a prescription.

They are absolutely fugly.

They look like something like a...

like someone who's like an elf but also a librarian wears.

That's a fun joke.

They literally turned up in my house.

I don't even know where.

Me and Ben just, I assumed they were Ben's and Ben assumed they were mine.

And the other day I was like, where the fuck did these glasses come from?

Jackie, I'd see them in person.

They're so weird looking.

And I was making TikTok about them and people were like, you should put them on during the ads and see what Jackie says.

So that's what I did.

Who makes them?

Why are you acting like it's a designer?

They're probably, they're like from Amazon.

And to be honest, they showed up in my house around the same time that I started receiving a lot of packages from Amazon with our Halloween costume.

So I think for a second, I thought Ben was using this for a Halloween costume.

Uh-huh.

I have no idea where they came from.

Now, a couple of people were saying, Claudia, if somebody wrote into Deer Toaster saying they found this pair of glasses, you would assume that their husband.

So yes, my husband might be having an affair with an ELF, part-time ELF librarian.

I'm not too worried just given the style.

I'm not too worried given the style.

Let's say Ben is having an affair with the owner of these glasses.

Like, she's obviously got nothing on me.

I'm not even concerned.

And they don't even have a prescription because if they did then she's walking around and she can't see so she can't find her husband she's blind and if and because they don't have a prescription that means she's like seriously phony belonging now the only other real concerning thing is that i don't think they're a part of the costume because they're kind of beat up like these are not new glasses

Maybe you had a house guest who left them and they're watching the show watching us make fun of their glasses.

Like maybe it's your friend Abe.

He hasn't been to my apartment in a really long time.

The last person that was there was actually the Taylors were there.

And Shannon.

i could see taylor strecker i could see taylor strecker you know she is 40 so

no but they're fake glasses i could see her like committing to a oh sorry these were in my apartment long before the tailors arrived like way before shannon

also they were here before shannon and i don't have a lot of house guests So the mystery remains.

Like I, if you have, if these glasses look familiar to you or someone you know, please come collect them.

Like, I don't know what to do with them.

That is really funny.

Well, anyways, they have been helping me read.

So today's episode is brought to you by State Farm.

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Jax, would you like to just give us a little taste of something?

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Well, I mean, we still have some time left, so I'll probably wrap it up vocally, but.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

I'm actually really glad to be working with State Farm again because I feel like there are always rumors about whether or not like State Farm is there.

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Like 100%, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

So don't get it twisted.

Like a good neighbor,

State Farm is

there.

Oh, wow, okay, like I let you have your moment and you couldn't do the same because you're threatened by my talent.

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What can I say?

Except

yad.

Welcome.

And that's just another great reminder that Moana 2 is coming out next week.

It's also another great reminder that I actually am an artist.

Like you can stream my music on Spotify, wherever you get your music.

So true.

I have a couple of songs.

And by a couple, I mean, how many do I have?

Two?

Two.

Yeah.

The first, which kind of took the music industry by storm, definitely wasn't appreciated in its own time.

Toast by Claudia Oshre, like a real summer pop anthem.

And the second, the follow-up lead single was 100%.

That was definitely slept on.

The sophomore society.

My sophomore album.

It was definitely slept on by the community.

And I think like I really need to shout out, like, seriously, the queer community.

They're the only people who stream my music because they understand.

I'm kind of the Carla Ray Jepson of the podcasting world.

So

yeah, just reminder.

Stream Toast.

Stream Toast.

It's so good.

I heard it actually this morning because I was watching the Spritz Society Instagram stories and somebody used it and i mean what would we what would the spritz society instagram stories in reels do with if you didn't have original and let me tell you something actually um if you're an aspiring podcaster influencer creator i don't know what the hell we are these days but like if you're aspiring to do something creator something of that nature having your own music that you own is such a smart business decision like i was able to use all my original music in my specials like you don't have to pay licensing fees when it's your so i just want to say like from a a business POV, like, write your own music.

Actually, I didn't write it.

Totally.

I didn't produce it either.

Come out with your own music.

Our first story, something that was alluded to earlier that's gotten bummed to number one spot is Kim Kardashian tapping Courtney for a joint Skims ex-Dolce and Gabbana campaign after their wedding feud.

So, a couple pieces of news here.

One, Skims is doing a collab with Dolce and Gabbana, a la

Fendi X Skims, and it's in the Dolce and Gabbana vein, very Skims vein, very cute.

And then the campaign, she tapped Courtney for the photos, which is harking back to their feud about the wedding.

The campaign says a duo a la Dolce Vita, like lol.

It's come full skin.

So it says starring Courtney Kardashian and like all the pictures are just of Kim, but whatever.

I absolutely loved this.

And I actually think one of the last really interesting storylines from the Kardashians show on Hulu was that Skims Dolce Gabbana thing.

No, I'm sorry, just that Dolce Gabbana thing.

Because it was so real.

We all saw it happening in real time and we're like curious about it.

And they really didn't hold back.

I feel like that was the last time they really unleashed with us.

And then they all just sort of

like went their separate ways.

And I feel like we actually got no,

what's the word I'm looking for?

Resolution on that.

I do wish there was like a bit of a shorter turnaround time on this because it has been a while since that whole scandal happened.

Nevertheless, I think this is a great way to A, like make up with your sister, B, like alert to the public that we have resolved this in a funny way

Rising tides rise all shides like Courtney gets to be in a Dolce

Spread and I actually really liked this

Yeah, I love the collab idea.

Some of the pieces look great and I think that this is a total no-brainer I think they actually this is what they should have done when Kim started working with Dolce because when she did her like curated looks that just like didn't

creative director.

I don't even know She did a fashion show and then they like re-released old pieces.

I just don't think it had the impact that they thought it would.

This should have been that.

By the way, it was supposed to be, because if you remember in the Kardashians, they talked about how they started working together and it was supposed to be at first Skims ex-Dolce, which is why Kim felt totally fine about not even telling Courtney because it was just going to be like something for Skims.

But I guess that didn't work out.

Like they didn't have like the lead time or whatever.

So he ended up doing this like half-baked, whatever it was.

And I think that like kind of takes away from this and all that like momentum that Kim had with Dolce.

But I love the collab idea and I love that she tapped Courtney.

I don't love the photos.

Oh, yeah, no, the creative direction is like not what I would do.

It's also like, I like it's so close to like, I understand the vision, but I just feel like it didn't like come out.

And do you feel that like that aesthetic, La Dolce Vida, like, you know, leopardy type of Italian big hair, it's like a little done for Kim.

Like she had like a years long where that was like her whole schedu and she doesn't dress like that anymore.

So it actually doesn't even feel authentic.

That's why this feels late.

Yeah.

Whereas if it happened a year ago or two years ago, it would have been just like so timely and so perfect.

However, luckily for Kim, like that style is timeless.

It's just like a feminine, glamorous look.

It's not like she's doing her like spaceship look that is very, very trendy.

So everyone will always want to dress like this.

It's just a feminine, beautiful way to to look and it accentuates your curves and it's great.

But yes, it's not congruous with the way that Kim's dressing is right now.

And it does feel a little played out because she spent so much time and energy on that years ago.

Yeah, yeah.

And also, I feel like it's just really interesting as like a consumer, my reaction to this, because I remember when Skim's X-Fendi was announced, like I was first in line.

Not only did I buy stuff that morning on the website, you and I went to the store and wanted to see if they had extras.

Like I was so obsessed.

And

I didn't really move.

when this was announced.

Like I liked that Courtney was in it.

I think that was kind of the most interesting part, ironically.

I mean, and the pieces are not anything I would ever wear.

It's like underwear, boy shorts with like little titty bitty.

Like, sorry, I have huge jugs.

I can't.

The pictures also make it hard to see what they're selling exactly.

Like, is it just bras and underwear?

I tapped over to the skim site.

You can see Morgan Smeller posted on her Instagram that she like got it.

So that's where I saw most of the stuff.

Oh, sweet.

I got to go look.

They're selling bras, panties, tops, and dresses.

Like, I click to see dresses, but it doesn't click through.

And then the whole collection comes out on November 19th.

I'm definitely curious, but what was so great about Fendi was that it was outerwear.

Like if this is all bras and undies, like I don't need Doljanga banana.

No, I don't, especially because I wear Skim's bras and underwear and I think they're amazing.

Like and they're way cheaper.

But if these are like corsets that I can wear out

with a blazer, I love that.

I want to see like what's actually for sale.

Also, a lot of the images are like black and white.

Like I want to see the creative that she had posted on Instagram like really did not highlight from I'm no merchandiser, but I said, what are we selling here?

The chair

yeah and I feel like sometimes like people go to extreme lengths to take photos like on set like on a beach a crazy surface they like freeze themselves just like just like go to the beach in Miami whatever have you heard of this situation

no but I feel like this is AI and like you could feel it

here's what I'll say it wasn't for me

I would like it this would have benefited from like I don't even know if they went there it just doesn't feel like they but it did get me thinking about Courtney

I think it's a studio in Calabas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It did get me thinking about Courtney because then I went on a Courtney stockage yesterday and then I saw she posted this Infeed Carousel.

It was like either their anniversary or Travis's birthday.

And so she just posted a bunch of like never before seen photos and videos of their life.

And it was nothing crazy.

It was just like all really cute.

Them playing do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

What's that song?

Heart and song?

Heart and heart and soul.

I'm like, really cute.

See, it's just actually really crazy how unbothered and happy she is.

And when we, when we zoom out, it's just, at least for me and like my journey with the Kardashians, like Courtney was never my number one, really.

She just totally came out on top, like unbothered, happy queen.

You could feel it in that carousel, like pure joy.

And yeah, they're like weird with the tongues or whatever, but like they are so in love.

Like she is such an amazing marriage.

Yeah.

After being in such a volatile, like fucked up relationship for so many years.

Yeah.

So I think it's all great.

I'm excited to see the pieces.

I got to go look at Morgan's story then.

Whatever Everett's idea it was to put Courtney at the center of this, like, that's the most brilliant part of this collab, in my opinion.

Yeah, it feels very full circle.

It does.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Oscar's 2025 host has been tapped.

Dude, I haven't heard.

Let me get my true genuine reaction.

Let me think, let me think, let me think.

Let me guess first.

Is it like classic Jimmy?

No, this person's taking over for Jimmy.

Okay, give me a clue.

But it's not dissimilar to...

It's in the Jimmy vein, but his name doesn't start with Stephen.

Steph Myers?

No.

Same thing, though.

Stephen Colbert.

No, but same thing.

Conan?

Yeah.

Oh, okay, by the way, that's not in the same vein, actually.

Like, I know he's technically had a late-night show and whatever, but like, Conan is

different.

Like, if you know late-night, like, drama, he is.

First of all, I think like a lot of people would say he's much funnier and more talented than like the OGs, like the Jimmies who just sit in in a chair and ask questions and make TikToks these days.

Like,

Conan has like a cult, cult following.

People are obsessed with Conan.

I've actually really don't interact much with Conan.

I know his podcast is immensely popular.

He did take over for who?

Jay Leno?

And then I fired immediately.

He had like some drama.

So I don't consider that.

And he did have that TBS late night show, but I don't consider that like in competition with the basic cable networks, right?

To me, he is of the exact same elk as those guys.

I'm glad.

I'm glad to hear you don't think so.

No, no, he's really not.

I think he would be insulted at that, too.

Really?

Yeah, because that I think is why he didn't really work in that traditional late-night model when he took over whatever spot it was.

He got a big spot.

It's kind of like a Joan Rivers story where you get this big spot and it doesn't work out and you think your whole career is ending.

But maybe much like Joan, like

you can't put them in a box.

Like, really, like true, wild, outrageous, smart comedians

aren't meant for that sort of like

kind of bland job.

Yeah.

And so while I, and I, and we always are clowning on like late night, I happen to really like Jimmy Fallon.

I think he's like very funny and I like his shtick, but um, I wouldn't say he's like the most innovative comedian thought leader of our time, right?

Is this an episode of Body Snatchers?

Wait, what?

What is so crazy that I said I happen to like Jimmy Fallon.

I think he's really funny.

I do.

By the way, I feel like I've said that before.

I hate Jimmy Kimmel.

I think Stephen Colbert is literally the the least funny person on the planet seth meiers like seriously i don't even know enough about you how can you even how do you even tell them all apart like to me they're just one lump of unfunniness like i don't have different except because i'm like a fellow comedian cordon uh yeah james cordon i can differentiate the rest of them are all lumped together i don't know i think jimmy fallon is really um

He's kind of like an America's sweetheart type of vibe.

Like everybody, I would say he's the most successful one for sure.

I would say that all the celebrities seem to really like him.

So like he he gets the best guests.

I think one, because it's of course like the tonight show on NBC, but people like feel comfortable and I think he like hangs out with them in the real world.

So

I don't know.

Whenever we discuss late night and like how they're all untalented weenies, I'm really not talking about Jimmy Fallon.

Okay.

I swear to God, I'm not.

I sound like I've been booked on the Jimmy Fallon show, so like I need to be cool.

1,000%.

No, no.

That is what you sound like.

I just feel like it was important for me whenever we clown on Late Night.

Like I'm really not talking about Jimmy Fallon.

Or Conan.

Yeah, I don't, but I'm not even talking.

I don't think Conan is in this group of people.

He's not.

So who would you say is similar to Conan?

That's not, that's alive?

Oh, that's a really good question.

Like, nobody.

And that's why he's so different.

Like, and I feel like I don't even get or know like the full Conan lore, but I know that there is lore there.

Well, you know what?

I'll probably turn on the beginning of the Oscars.

I think you'll like him.

I think he doesn't give a fuck.

Like,

well, I do like him.

Wearing Ricky Gervais-ish.

Maybe nobody is as brave.

I do like it.

Nobody is as brave as Ricky Gervais.

But I think Conan, like, at one point in his career, maybe, like, cared about, you know, playing the game, but I don't think he cares anymore.

His podcast is immensely popular.

That's the power of podcasting.

It's true.

It gives you, like, you don't have to

act out.

You can act out.

Joan would have loved podcasting.

Oh my God.

Joan would have had the most successful podcast.

And she was actually really ahead of her time.

She had a web show like long before that was even a thing in bed with Joan.

And if you actually go back, she had amazing guests.

Like RuPaul was on.

I watched.

She actually had Theo Vaughan on before he was um like major sarah but if what happened to joan happened in modern times where she was like blackballed from the industry she would have taken to podcasting and she would have been the great the world's greatest oh you mean like if she had podcasting after like in the 60s yes yes and she would have still done it up until this day

Yes.

And it's disgraceful that we never got a Joan Rivers podcast because talk about like she's unfiltered and she was saying some wild shit on E.

Like, and she was getting away with it.

I can only imagine if it's truly like you can't hold her back what what she's saying.

Right, right.

Weekly.

We missed out.

We missed out.

It's for the best.

Like, this culture wouldn't even appreciate it.

They would try to cancel her.

They don't deserve it.

They would try to cancel her because they don't understand her.

Right.

Sometimes I see like a snot-nosed kid on TikTok, like crying about something.

And I'm like, you need a slap from Joan Rivers.

Like, you need to, you need to be sat down and spoken to by Joan Rivers.

Yeah.

But they don't deserve it.

They don't deserve that kind of enlightenment.

No, they couldn't.

They wouldn't even be.

They don't know what to do with it.

Anyways, you just made me excited for the Oscars turdy, like just for the potential, the potential.

I think it's a good choice.

And also, when we think about the people who are always tapped, Trevor Noah, like unfunny, it's like an uninspiring.

I feel like Conan has never done this before.

So it's like fresh blood.

Yeah.

And I also think he's really, it's always interesting when like people are like really well liked by like all the comedians.

Like people, I was just watching Nikki Glazer.

She was talking about.

how she does everything she can to avoid like comments about herself.

She's like, I cannot handle it.

I refuse.

But she's like like a huge conan fan so she goes on like reddit conan to like talk with that fellow fans and she ended up on like a threat about herself because she was on conan and like it was the worst thing that ever happened to her it was unavoidable but then i was like wow there's even a conan reddit like there's there there is an obsession with conan okay well by the way he did host the emmys in 2002 and 2006 and the white house correspondence dinner in 1995 and 2013

for a long time Yeah, so he has like that sort of traditional hosting.

I feel like those were the years where he was like playing the game, trying to get a late-night night show, like being like everybody else.

Yeah, yeah.

And that's just my thoughts.

I actually don't know if that's true.

Yeah, no, I like, even if you're wrong, like even if everything exists.

You like the story I'm telling you is wrong.

I like the story you're telling because it leaves room for hope and optimism.

Yeah, even though that thing you said the other day about what Matt Damon said about movies has really stuck with me because now, like I said, I'm watching so much cable and I'm seeing commercials for all the new movies that are coming out.

Oh, and on Jeopardy last night, there was a category about 2024 rave reviews.

And it was all about, you have to guess what movie they were talking about based on the rave review that was written about it.

My ass hadn't heard of one of these fucking movies, Jurassic Park,

Big Godzilla 1.

I hadn't heard of any of these movies.

And Double Chunky.

Literally, boom.

Like I was.

And I'm such a media literate person.

Like I go to the movies.

I know what goes on in culture.

And it was, I'm like, damn, that's really what Jackie said.

Like, all these big, stupid movies.

Yes.

Chocolate coffee.

Yeah.

All these like huge action movies, franchises, things that have done well in the past.

And so there's no room for just like a little, a little starter movie to find its legs.

And then in the theater.

I'm on Jeopardy.

I saw a commercial for another movie and it was like big red or something.

I was like, damn, Matt Damon was facts, speaking facts.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyways, Oscars will be on March 2nd, 2025.

So that's in a long time.

I can wait.

Like, I'll be okay.

Are you ready for our next story, which is like kind of a crazy controversy?

Oh, my God, who's in hot water?

Jenny Mullen is getting slammed for getting on a plane with lice.

Oh, interesting.

I saw Jenny Mullen the other day.

Well, hopefully she didn't have lice when you saw her.

Oh my God, I gave her a story.

Fans are slamming Jenny Mullen for getting on a five-hour flight with lice.

The actress revealed she had lice in her hair during a video shared to Instagram recently.

She said, I can't even deal.

This is insane.

I've never had lice in my life.

I don't know what to do.

I've been itching for.

It's important that people know, like, while we give our take on this story, Jackie and I are experts in lice.

There was like a five-year period where every single summer we came home from camp with lice.

We treated it the day we came home for two weeks after.

Like we know everything there is to know about lice.

So we are actually experts on the matter.

She said, I've been itching for two weeks.

So they've been living on me for two weeks.

My mom's sick.

I hope.

I hope not when you saw her anyway her solution was to wrap a clear plastic bag around her head for the trip but followers in her comments were appalled that she would put others at risk by catching a flight with untreated lice wow are you kidding me you got on a plane with lice and so on and so forth you know what i'm like i'm really never one to side with the backlash like i think if you're giving backlash like seriously get a job having said that like i fear that they do make a good point Especially because this is like a public transportation.

Like someone else will sit in that seat.

Lice can live in the fibers, maybe not of like leather

plane chairs, but like coach bus chairs that are like fuzzy.

So maybe the chair is in the airport.

They can live for like 24 hours in certain fibers.

So

like here's the thing.

I think people travel with lice knowingly and unknowingly all the time because you get lice, but you got plans, you got things to do.

I think.

like really her posting about mistakes and sharing this like was a huge mistake you do not need to share everything that is going on in your life and it does look bad when you're knowingly sitting there with lice

in a seat that someone else, next to neighbors.

It's just

something that you've been too tried.

I think she's tried up on her Instagram like the next day in New York when she was in LA.

I think a lot of people would have assumed that she flew private.

Like her husband's a huge actor.

Like there, it would have.

really not been a thing.

Or they maybe would have assumed that she got the lice under control and whatever.

They could have assumed a million things and it would have been fine.

Yeah.

But like to just like brazenly be like sitting there with your half your head covered in a plastic cap talking about have you have lice on public transportation like that's not a good thing to do.

I am in agreement.

And honestly, I have not had lice since probably what like

seventh grade.

When was the last time?

Oh no, I had it once in high school.

Oh my God.

And then I kept coming.

So I was like treating it at home.

And then

I'm itching too, but it's just because we're talking about it.

I had it in high school.

Actually, there was like a rumor that like, okay, so it was me and this other girl, like her name was Zaniela.

And like every morning for like two weeks, we'd have to go go to the nurse's office for a check before we could officially like start the day at school.

And like almost every single day we got sent home because like we still had lice.

And I was like not mad, honestly.

Of course.

Everybody knew that it was this girl, me and Daniella.

Like we kept getting sent home.

It's actually kind of a traumatic story, let me tell you.

And then that following weekend, that upcoming weekend was Shabbaton.

So for those who don't know, like in, if you go to a Jewish day school, like once or twice a year, there's like a field trip.

It's called a Shabbaton, where you basically just spend like Shabbat together.

It's usually like at like this big hotel.

You all like eat and pray and it's actually really fun like um

so it's like you leave school like the social event you leave school friday and i think you come back sunday morning like it's a nice weekend retreat and to be at shabbaton and i like i remember being like oh man am i gonna be able to go on shabbaton because i have lice and they did let me go and i remember like there were some whispers about like nobody wanting to room with me but my friends like were really og they just all slept in one bed and i slept in the other i kind of loved it um but it was i don't know why i was tapped that weekend to give a dvar tora so a dvar tora like on friday night of shabbat every every week in Shul or on Shabbat, you like read a part.

I was talking about this last week, like a different chapter of the Torah.

And then a Dvar Torah is like when somebody at dinner will like lead a meal, giving you a life lesson.

I studied this chapter.

Let me tell you what I learned and how we can apply it to modern day.

And you know my ass.

Like I took my power back in that moment.

I made the whole Dvar Torah about lice.

And how like I was sort of a social pariah because of my like Jackie was such like a, it was a Phoenix Rising from the Ashes type of moment.

I was this social outcast with my lice.

Like nobody wants to sleep with me they didn't even want me coming on the chaboton i'm sure some parents are like the that ashray girl's coming and i gave oh my god they were cackling because i think they were like damn wow she's still gonna speak brave not only did i speak i acknowledged the elephant in the room and i slayed the house down boots

that is so crazy so like what was the moral of the story that people should have been like more accepting and hugging you are you saying what's the moral of my dvar Torah yeah um I don't actually recall and I don't think I was shaming everyone into into accepting me into hugging me I was was just able to relate to what the character in the bible was going through understood because i had experienced it on a smaller level that week in school understood um and a couple of years ago i was going through some like random papers and i found the like printed out um and oh my god i wish i kept it i was cackling it was honestly brilliant it was hysterical that's really funny yeah Wow,

I feel like the theme of this month has been like core memories from high school coming back to me.

Yeah, I wonder why.

I wonder why, too.

Something in the air.

Something has changed within me.

Maybe it's like the lack of like a 10-pole story this quarter.

You know, sometimes it's

Royals, Taylor, Kardashian.

Everyone's kind of quiet.

So like, what about us?

Yeah, what if we just

this once.

And called it her story.

Just this once.

Anyways, what was the story?

Jenny Mulling.

Oh, right.

So, oh, all is that to say, the reason I got got here is I haven't had a lice in my adult life.

And

I remember the experience of having lice as a child.

Like, it was horrible.

It was really worse than you could have imagined.

And, and at least you're a kid.

Like, I can't even imagine having it as an adult.

But I guess that's something you have to worry about when you have kids, right?

Yeah, for sure.

Picking it up.

Because you have boys.

If your boys came home with lice, would you shave their heads?

Yeah, that always seems to be like the easier route.

So probably.

Yeah, that was like a thing we couldn't do.

We were a house full of girls.

But if you have a couple of boys with like short hair, bye.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

No.

No, I don't think you are.

You're actually, you could never be ready for this story.

Isn't the next story that's brought to you by Racketon, per chance?

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I would love that.

You're shopping at Ticketmaster.

You buying tickets to Rascal Flats or Taylor Swift?

I

don't want to get hate at Rascal Flats.

Because we just went.

Yeah.

And Rascal's been all a lifetime.

And yeah, and they're not going back on tour.

Okay.

You're at Lowe's.

You hang a crock pot or an air fryer?

Crock pot.

You're at Aloe.

You're at Aloe.

You going for a cute Simla

or cozy sweater set?

Ooh.

I think a cute Simla.

Love that.

You're on Instacart.

You getting ingredients for Jackie's chili or Jackie's beef stew?

Ooh, now you're asking the tough questions.

I think chili.

I don't know.

I kind of woke up this morning craving a beef stew.

You know what?

I just realized I plan to make beef stew today and I don't have the ingredients.

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Yeah.

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It's like the root off of grooming, guiding him to the smoothest irritation-free shave of his life.

And trust us, he will look so good, you'll be taking all the credit at every holiday party.

So the Chairman Pro has not one, but two interchangeable skin-safe blade heads.

Think of them as his grooming superheroes.

The skin safe four-blade foil.

for when he wants that baby's bottom smooth and the skin scase skin safe stubble trimmer when he wants to keep some stubble but clean it up a bit.

I just got this for Ben.

Ben has like never really been in like a really good grooming routine until we started working with Manscaped.

And he does not like that like freshly shaven look.

It makes him actually look like a girl sometimes.

Like he's just, he's got this very like supple skin.

It's just not, he doesn't like it.

So he'll let his beard grow and then it just gets like so unkempt.

And so the

stubble trimmer is perfect for Ben because he likes to still have like a shadow and a little bit of a look.

The Chairman Pro has Flex Adjust Technology.

It's basically like the holiday miracle of this grooming routine.

They also just have great products at Manscaped altogether.

Great for the man in your life.

Great travel items, great different skincare items.

They make great boxers too.

So, for like your dad, your husband, a brother, it really makes a great gift because men are literally impossible to shop for.

And getting that nose and ear hair trimmer was like probably one of the best things I did because if I just see any more of like Ben's prickly nose hair sticking out of his nose, like I really was not going to be okay.

So, gift your man the ultimate grooming experience by Manscaped and get him the chairman pro package for the holidays.

It's thoughtful and practical, and he'll actually use it.

And you can get 20% off in free shipping with codetoast at manscaped.com.

That's 20% off in free shipping with codetoast at manscaped.com.

Thank you, Code Turt.

What can I?

I'm feeling very musical today.

I know.

I don't want to stop you.

Oh, okay.

Except you're welcome.

Our next story is some blossoming couple news that we have not checked in on in a while, but Kim Zolsiak and Chet Hanks are fueling romance rumors again while attending a jelly roll concert together.

So Kim Zolsiak and Chet Hanks fueled romance rumors while attending the jelly Roll concert.

She took to Instagram on Wednesday to gush about having the best time with the country singer and his beautiful wifey, saying she had so much fun.

And she was with Chet Hanks and her pal, Jenny Doyle.

She said, one of my absolute favorite concerts and everyone that was slash is part of this massive operation is Beyond Kind.

Oh my God.

She posted.

She just reminded me.

Brielle Bierman texted me the other day.

She's like, I have a piece of gossip for you.

And then she never answered.

And then I never answered.

So you just reminded me that I never answered.

I literally responded.

Yeah.

I said what I said.

Well, I hope it's about these two being in love and getting married.

I ship so wholeheartedly.

And if you take a look at these two holistically, like it just makes sense.

Sometimes you hear about a couple and you think that they could be related and that's how you know that they're perfect for one another.

Yeah.

They look like siblings and he looks like Croy.

Yeah.

Kim Zolsiak being Tom Hanks' daughter-in-law like

everything to me.

It feels right.

Kim Zolsiak,

like, and I know there's so much lore around her.

and I did definitely like stop keeping up with her family at the level that I was because like it was taking a dark turn with the divorce, but they could never make me dislike this woman.

Like I,

I just ride for her.

I think she's so unique and so interesting.

And I love her family.

And I'm devastated, truly devastated that it didn't work out with Croy.

But to know that she has found love in the arms of like a Hollywood Nepo baby, like that brings joy.

It does.

Do you agree?

It really does.

And I think he really loves her.

Like they haven't confirmed that they're together, but like, you don't go to a concert.

Yeah.

You, like, I think that they are seeing things,

seeing how it goes.

But from what he said about her, like, I think he would wait forever for her.

Like, I think she's his dream woman.

Yeah.

And can you just.

And she deserves that.

I feel like every man that she

is with, like, worships at the altar of Kim Zolsiak, except for Big Papa.

It's true.

He didn't choose her.

Yeah.

But can you imagine like Chet bringing Kim Zolsiak home for the holidays?

Like, No, like imagining that is what sustains me and fuels me.

And I like to think that like Tom Hanks is not as like so serious as we I actually think if he just sat down and had a drink with Kim Zolsiak like he might actually really like her.

For sure.

Do you think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays?

Because there's a lot also like between them all.

There is a lot, but and I think a lot of people assume that Chet's on the outs with his family because he's so nuts.

But anytime like Tom's being honored for something, all of his kids show up.

They kind of like let Chet do his thing.

They know he's nutty and they don't try and silence him.

Maybe they did in the beginning and they realized it wasn't.

But as far as I know, they are this like tight family unit.

I do think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays, like deadass.

Sound up in the comments.

Do you think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays?

I hope that Kim and her crew.

Well, that's a thing.

Because Kim should be with her family for the holidays.

Is she showing up with six kids?

I don't know.

Well, she has to be with her kids for the holidays.

So otherwise she can't go to the Hanks family function if she's not with her kids.

She at least has to bring the younger four because Brielle is like engaged and I I feel like probably spending the holidays like in this new life.

You think Brielle's gonna pass up Christmas at Tom Hanks house?

Christmas at the Hanks's.

I don't know.

So Brielle has to bring her fiancé.

It's a whole family affair.

Once they found out like we're going to Tom's, everybody is getting involved.

It's beautiful.

It is beautiful.

And I know a lot of people like look at this couple and they have like their judgments.

And I just want to say I look at them and I see true love.

I agree.

I think they are perfect for one another.

And maybe it's just because Chet, seriously, could be Croy Bierman.

They are twins.

They met on the set of like one of those all-star reality shows called MTV's Surreal Life Villa of Secrets.

And like, I really love those shows because I do feel like a handful of people really meet the right person for them.

I agree.

We get a couple of like really strong couples, even the ones that don't work out.

Pauli D and Aubrey O'Day, like that was a good one.

Even though she said that like it was one of the worst relationships she's ever been in.

Like at the time, I enjoyed it.

Yeah, of course.

Blake Hortsman and Gianina.

Did they meet on one of those shows shows or just like through yes instagram okay they met on one of those shows yeah every now and then there's like a really good crossover that was like when ronnie maggro was dating malika

so that was the same show as paulie famously in love famously in love yeah that was a good show on e why did they cancel that

i don't know probably because i liked it

go once again jackie's at fault And it's funny that I would watch Famously in Love, but like not any of these other shows.

Yeah, something about E, like they have a way with us

they definitely have like a chokehold on like millennial women like we can't quit them yeah i really liked that show i should watch some of these other but i was also more so in my reality tv era so i knew everyone going on the show now i think i wouldn't know there's a learning curve for you like i don't know anyone on the batch except for ariel frankel yeah and that's really all you need to know it's so true in my opinion Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh, bidding is such sweet sorrow, my lad, but yes.

A little holiday special news because someone's getting a holiday special.

I'm going to bring in some other people.

Josh Grobin is getting a CBS holiday special called Go Home for the Holidays.

Oh, I love this.

With Jennifer Hudson.

Oh, wow.

Because she just came out with a holiday album.

Are they co-hosting or she's just like one of the many guests?

So it's his show.

It's Josh Grobin and friends Go Home for the Holidays, and it will be a variety of special featuring performances from him as well as Jennifer Hudson, Tori Kelly, who never misses a TV special, James Bay, and the Warren Treaty.

I love the Warren Treaty.

Okay, and I also just want to add this one.

I want to add this one note.

It will be filmed at the Bram Goldsmith Theater.

The program will also center on the American foster care system and

feature a family adopting a child live on air.

Wait, okay.

I know like we can go down a hole and be like, that's weird.

Like, handle your shit privately, but, but

it's like definitely traumatizing for the kid being adopted.

But, but I think it's a really crazy concept.

It really is.

But before you said that, I thought it was so sweet.

Like a mission.

And I feel like the foster care system and like that's like not a popular mission people always choose.

They're always doing like World Hunger, which is good too, of course.

But like, I feel like it's the same couple of like stand up to cancer, no kid hungry, which are good organizations.

I'm not saying anything.

Yeah.

But it's the same ones that always get like the PR on these things.

They get a lot of love.

And I don't see anyone really sticking up, making their cause like adoption in the foster community.

So I was about to be really excited, but maybe they just took it a little far.

The live adoption

is so crazy.

And it's like,

do they already know who's getting it, who's adopting who?

Like they bring a bunch of orphans and they're like, oh, pick me, pick me.

And it turns into Annie.

Doesn't orphan like feel like a slur?

It's kind of an outdated term because there are no more orphanages.

Right, but what do you call like somebody who's in a foster child?

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

But not because orphan is a slur, but just because there's not orphanages.

There's foster homes.

I don't know why.

It's just like kind of, it's like a word that gives me a piss.

It's sad because it's a sad situation.

So let's look past the live adoption, if we can for a reason.

And then there was that horror movie, The Orphan.

Of course, that one really stuck with me.

Oh, my God.

I went to a sleepover and I came back like not the same.

Yeah.

Okay, I will do my best to push past the on-air adoption.

One thing.

And by the way, if I do wind up watching this, like I know for a fact, like that will make me cry.

And like, like

that will have the impact that it's intended.

I just,

there's something really sad about it.

It's crazy.

It's exploitative.

It's exploitative.

The one thing that the cable networks really do write is who they tap for holiday specials.

They don't give them out to just anybody.

I think, you know.

One that comes to mind was most recently Kelly Clarkson's on NBC.

It was seriously a work of art and she had Ariana Grande.

That's one of my, that's like, I'll never skip that on TikTok.

Keep the missile toe Cause what I know is what I need

Oh Santa, won't you hear me like obsess the the glam the backup singers like it was just it was magic We were watching it.

We knew it was gonna go down in history and it did So I think it's something that cable networks really get right.

They put a lot of budget towards these types of things and I think Josh Grobin is a perfect person.

And I think holiday specials on cable is really where you separate like

the people who can sing from the people who can't sing.

Because

there's a lot of people in this industry who are super famous who literally can't sing.

And they're not getting specials.

So the Josh Grobans, the Jennifer Hudson.

They get a lot.

They get a lot.

Yep.

You know, given that.

But this is for the singers.

This is for the singers.

Like the David Foster type of people.

And also for the people who like love the holidays.

Josh Groban does have a holiday album.

It's very old, but it's very good.

It's one of the best.

It's one of the greats.

Somebody should give David Foster a holiday special that like it's David Foster and Friends because there are so many girlies who like let me tell you David Foster is always doing David Foster and Friends yeah he is on tour doing David Foster and Friends but I mean like if a network would give him like a holiday special where he could bring out like obviously Catherine McPhee obviously Celine Dion you know one of his one of his people like is Michael Blublay okay fine um like all of the people he helped make famous

Pieta Scott he would just like produce the whole thing yeah and he plays piano the whole time and like tells stories and then brings out like I think that would be great he does that literally every night of his life he just had his birthday party, and that's what he did for his, I think, 70th birthday at the Hollywood Bowl.

It was David Foster and Friends.

And, you know, back in the day when they did it, Yolanda threw a holiday party, not a holiday party, a dinner party.

Oh, right.

And that's, by the way, I'm forgetting about the Yolanda literal dinner parties that we saw.

I'm saying he's always like at an outdoor concert.

No, and now knowing what we know, like at the time, it was really weird that Yolanda invited everyone over and like was just like showing off her husband and like they pulled this piano like out from their asses and brought it to the dinner table and everybody was like, this is nice, but weird.

But now like knowing what we know about David Foster, it's actually not weird at all.

That's like clearly like how he gives and shows love.

Yes, 100%.

And

that's what he should be doing with his gift.

1,000%.

So I would implore a network to tap him.

He's good.

I'm just trying to think of like other people who I think are deserving of these types of specials.

Yeah.

And the streamers do it well too.

Like I'm really excited for Sabrina Carpenter's.

It's different.

I think the cable ones are like just really, they're kind of like nostalgic a little bit.

Casey Busgraves was great.

Sabrine Carpenter, I think, will be good.

Yeah, because also there's something like live about them.

The other ones are so highly produced.

You could have a million takes.

Like, they're perfect to a T.

Very lovely, but there's something just like more real and raw about these as there is because it's just live.

We're raw dogging it.

This is CBS's.

I'm sure NBC will have one.

That's like, it's kind of their thing.

So I'm curious who they'll be tapping.

I mean, it should be Kelly again.

we can never have enough Kelly.

It should be Kelly again.

Did you see the Kelly's taking the internet by storm?

She does her Kelly Oakies and they're always like extremely well received.

But every now and then, like, you call me again.

Like, she, she,

something pops off.

Something pops up in the street.

And did you see she covered Please, Please, Please by Sabrina?

And she kind of gave it like, it sounds very different.

A little bit country almost.

And people are dying for it.

Like, they say it's better than the original.

Oh, wow.

That's the Kelly Oakie that's taken the world by storm this quarter.

Go, Kelly, go.

Go, Kelly, go.

I love to see her.

achieve greatness.

And I think Josh Groban will be great.

I'm not familiar with his holiday music, but he was.

Yes, you are.

If you looked at the album cover, it raised us, Claudia.

Go look at it.

Okay.

Would you consider like You Raise Me Up to be a holiday song?

Like, he'll definitely sing it, right?

I mean, if you put a little jingle bell in there, anything could be a holiday song.

Okay, let me look up Josh Groban Holiday.

It's called Noel.

Oh, I know.

You know that picture.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know that.

Oh, my God.

This picture.

Oh, his little drummer boy and his silent night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, by the way.

And also, he has a version of I'll Be Home for Christmas that has servicemen and women like talking to their families on the phone.

Like Try Not to Cry.

Okay.

It's just Try Not to Cry.

When you were talking about, you were reading the sentence about the alive adoption.

I thought what you were going to say is that they had like a foster

children's choir.

Like I don't know if a choir of foster children like from like maybe like the Boys and Girls Club or something.

That's what I thought it was.

And I loved that.

My idea is better.

Honestly, David Foster should be the one doing.

The Christmas drive for the foster children.

Yeah.

I wonder if Josh Grubman's adopted, like why this is a a cause particularly near and dear to his heart.

I don't know.

He said he's honored and excited to host a show with friends old and new to celebrate the unity and togetherness of the holidays.

It's especially important because we'll spread the importance of adoption and we'll feature the most incredible kids.

I actually ended up on an adoption talk.

Oh, no.

Jackie, it was the craziest place I'd ever been.

I ended up like following the journey of this girl who

she said she wasn't adopted.

She was kidnapped from her home country and she's like here in America.

Like she's currently being kidnapped.

How old is she?

I would say like 22.

Oh, who's she's making the video?

Yeah, yeah.

She's talking.

She's like, hi,

I think I, no, she was adopted as a kid and she said that like that adoption was a kidnapping.

Oh my gosh.

And she's now being held in this country against her will.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

I thought you were saying you were like getting served like videos of like children stories of adoption.

No, no, no.

Oh my God.

I was like, she was adopted by like a family who wanted kids and I think she was like, you know, available as a baby.

And she says, like, she's very against adoption.

That's when I knew I was spending a little too much time on TikTok.

I'm going to need more information before I come.

By the way, I'll send you the videos once I see them.

So now she's 22.

She's like a grown person, but she's advocating against adoption because she's currently, you know, a victim of the kidnapping.

Well, she should advocate against kidnapping.

She wasn't kidnapped.

She was adopted.

Oh.

Where were.

Okay.

It was like a legal adoption, but she's very anti-adoption because she says it's like a modern day kidnapping.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

That's.

Okay.

No, there are a lot of issues like with the system.

Of course.

I haven't considered that to be one of them.

That's actually what

Demon Copperhead really opened my eyes to, the system.

Yeah.

Do you see the system?

The system is broken, honestly.

Now, what's not broken is our spirits, because while it's Friday, we have so much to look forward to, we also have Queenie and Weenie of the Week, which is our weekly segment where we just sort of like to wrap up the week in a little bit of a bow, take a look at the week at a glance, and give out two awards: Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week.

They're pretty self-explanatory.

If you acted like a queenie this week, you might win Queenie of the Week.

If you acted like a big weenie this week, you'll probably win Weenie of the Week.

So, Jax and I both nominate two people.

Feel free to nominate your candidates in the comments.

And would you like to get us started?

Yeah, I only have a weenie.

So, maybe we can like

put ours together and have like joint nominee.

Great.

But my weenie, and it's light fair because everyone kind of behaved this week, I felt.

It was a very low-key kind of week.

So like of everything that we discussed and that we saw, I thought the one exhibiting the most weenie behavior was Khaloe Feynman.

You know what?

When I was searching for

Queenie and Weenie, she did come across my desk as a potential weenie candidate.

It seemed harsh because textbook weenie, just weener behavior, like nothing like harmless, but weenie.

Harmless but weenie.

And she's been posting like follow-up videos that are just like not cringe.

Not doing what she thinks that they're doing.

Yeah, the weeniness comes from the fact that every time she posts something, she thinks it's a sleigh.

And it's not.

Because she posted a rebuttal being like, everybody in my comments saying X, Y, and Z, like, thanks for the engagement.

I needed it.

This algorithm is tough.

And it's like, that's really not a slay.

Wait, and by the way, you just said that in four seconds, and her video was like 40 seconds.

So there was a lot of slowness and

not

words.

So, my weenie of the week, because when in doubt, you know, Ruffalo out.

My weenie of the week is Mark Ruffalo.

He didn't do anything particularly this week besides

being himself.

I'm sure that he actually did, and you just don't follow him, but let's take a look at his pages.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I don't need to because I don't need to look because I know.

Like the page itself.

Mark Ruffalo definitely did something really weenie-like this week, and so he's going to get my weenie of the week on a slow week.

When in doubt, Ruffalo.

Love it.

I got him.

And queenie.

Queenie of the week.

Did you say you didn't have one?

I did not have one.

No one really shined this week.

So like to me, I think that my title holder is going to stay Brianna Chicken Fry.

She did have a good week.

She's like coming back.

She's making

queenie behavior.

And like, this is when she needs us, by the way.

She's rebuilding her life.

She said in her video, she's like losing money right now.

People think Dave just gave her $10 million.

Like she needs us.

And so in the absence of anyone being more queeny-like, she will remain the title holder.

I like that.

I like that.

I was also, I think, when in doubt, like when you don't have a queenie, it's always good to nominate ourselves.

Yeah.

Like, I kind of did great work this week.

Like, I'm a queen, you know?

I agree.

I made hamburger meatballs.

Yeah, like, I was, I was the inventor of hamburger meatballs.

I was everything to everyone in my life.

Like, I was a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend, a good wife, a good daughter-in-law, like, a good podcaster, a good creator.

So,

I don't see why not, honestly.

No, I completely agree.

So, it's good.

You,

and Mrs.

Bree.

Period.

That's our show.

That's the week.

Yeah.

Hope everybody had a good week.

Hope you were able to get merch.

I know a lot of people get paid on Fridays, so they wait till Friday to get merch.

The store is still open.

We'll probably leave it open throughout the weekend so you can get it's pre-order.

So it's four to five weeks till it ships, but that means everybody can get what they want in terms of like sizing and amounts.

So shop toastmerch.com.

You can look at our Instagram for like different pictures.

Jackie and I wear a size medium and everything.

Everything runs really true to size, although I would recommend sizing up for like, if you want like an oversized crew neck.

Today's the ultimate payday because it's Friday, but it's also the 15th because sometimes you get paid on a Friday, but in other jobs you get paid on the 15th.

So like everyone's getting paid today.

Yeah.

The 15th is also the day that American Express bills are due.

So that's what I think of.

Oh.

Not to be like such a downer.

Not you at the American Express.

Or do you mean American Excess?

It's not really like a sleigh.

There's like a bunch of different American Express cards.

Some of them are even free.

Like, and I don't even have like a bigger American Express is such a sleigh.

And if you are like even remotely in tune with what's cool in the points world, like you definitely have a gold American Express.

It's $99 a year and completely worth it.

Yeah.

So that's what Brian says.

Like if you eat a lot and like you drive, me,

you need the gold card.

A lot of people think the platinum one and it's really pricey and they're like, oh, well, it's platinum.

It's better.

It's actually not.

That's kind of like the biggest life hack from Brian.

I canceled my platinum and I went gold.

Go for the gold turdy.

Yeah.

So that's our show.

That's our week.

Hope everybody enjoyed every minute of it.

Like every little second.

Thank you so much for listening to the test and the landing morning share.

We dealt the fastest news for everybody on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please, please, please.

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Bye.