Load Bearing Pasta: Friday, October 18th, 2024

Good morning, Millennials, and welcome back to the toast and happy Friday, a Garchy Pargi Friday.

A Garchy Pargi day of the week, you know, any week.

This week in particular, Jackson and Claude are together in Florida.

Duna dunno.

It's Taylor Day.

So let's, that means a lot of things, right?

It means that we're in conservation mode.

Oh, by the way, rep TV didn't drop.

Well, she could announce it today.

Like, yay.

No, it didn't make sense that like everybody thought rep was coming, but Friday night, music gets released Thursday at midnight.

But Taylor can release music whenever she wants.

Yeah, but she cares a lot about like going number one and getting all the sales.

That's true.

So today's episode is an audio-only extravaganza because Jackie and I are two women in our 30s going to the Aristotle.

And like that, that means something, you know?

Well, we didn't want to do makeup twice today.

And it's just been a crazy day around here.

And in order to get the episode up in a timely manner, audio-only it is.

Yeah.

And I'm not mad because, like I said, this is the first time I've gone to the heirostor three times, but this is my first time going as a woman.

Who's 30 years old?

And not to put you like, you're 31.

Like, it's like really nothing.

It's a lot.

We really can't hang like we used to.

I think the first time I went to the aerosol, I was 28.

No.

No, Nashville.

That was May.

So it was before my birthday.

Yeah, it was literally, I was 28.

Yeah, I guess that was a really long time ago.

Imagine how Taylor feels when she started doing the Arrow store.

She was 17.

32, and now she's going to be 35.

And when she finishes, that's

crazy.

No, I know.

So i'm really excited but i am nervous like about how it's gonna take a toll on my body yeah i just made up those numbers by the way about 32 and 35 but taylor's a good sounds right an easy person to age because we all know she was born in 1989 so true so that would make her 35 in december in december okay 34 yeah crushed it that actually is so true Kind of big mistake on her part, letting everyone know.

Letting everyone know.

I'm so excited.

We are going to, honestly, it's like a whole day affair because we have to make a little bit of a drive.

And we haven't decided yet if we're going to go see Gracie Abrams.

We haven't decided, we haven't made our plan, gotten a snack and packed an umbrella yet.

No, and we, we might need an umbrella.

We might need an umbrella.

And when Jackie and I took a trip this summer to go to Luke Hombs, on the way back home, we had like nothing in the car to help us.

Like we, it was such a long car.

That one was like three hours to the Hamptons, but we needed like blankets, snacks, a microwave.

Like we didn't have anything.

And let me tell you, we're not making that mistake.

We are seriously packing a trunk.

I'm stocking the car.

I think I'm going to put my crock pot in there and maybe I could use like the cigar outlet to like

light it up.

And we could have a roast chicken when we come out of the concert.

I love that idea.

I'm definitely bringing like slippers, blankets, pajamas.

We could have a chili waiting for us.

We could have a chili.

Like, I'm so nervous about not having the things.

Like, we were freezing in the back of that car.

Ben wouldn't let us turn the air conditioning off.

We were wearing tiny little dresses.

We didn't even have a blanket.

Nothing.

Yeah.

We will not make that mistake again.

We will be prepared.

We will be prepared.

Be prepared.

I flew in last night.

You guys, Jackie made me such, like it was, it was a long day.

You know, we worked, we had a bunch of things.

And then I went straight to the airport, got on a flight.

And by the time I got to your house, like I was ravenous, like felt weak, you know, needed iron.

And there was such a meal waiting for me.

Not only did she make me exactly what I requested, which was Jackie's chicken meatballs are amazing and pasta.

I didn't even talk to you about this like offline.

The shape of pasta you decided to go with, which is such a personal choice, honestly, is 10 out of 10.

No notes.

What would you call that?

Rigatoni?

that's rigatoni i'd send zach to the store i said first get like a box from the get top shelf pasta he's like i don't know what that is i'm like on the top shelf what it means that's where they the nicer higher price items are on the top shelf yeah that's why when it's like top shelf liquor

like the cheaper ones are on the bottom so i was like get top shelf pasta for turdy that's so funny he was like what shape and i was like any shape except penne agreed even though i would have eaten it penne and meatballs does not work okay penne and meatballs doesn't work neither does angel hair and meatballs like angel hair is is so weak.

Yeah, it doesn't.

It doesn't have the strength.

It is no foundation.

It's so true.

That rigatone was.

And then like, spaghetti is so obvious.

I'm down.

I'm not going to lie.

Like, I'm not going to knock it.

It's an obvious one for a reason, though.

It's the cliche for a reason.

But it was just like not what I, I didn't want to make you spaghetti and meatballs.

Like, how pedestrian.

It's so true.

And then I feel like somebody who doesn't know a lot about like cooking, like Zach just harmlessly, they could have picked up like shells.

And that would have been.

I said to him, he was like, I don't know what to get because he called me from the store.

I'm like, there's no wrong choice.

No, I'm telling you.

Get what you want.

Just not Penne.

There is a wrong choice, though.

Like, elbows is not the vibe.

Shells.

Fusili.

Spiral.

Okay.

I like Fusili too, not with a meatball.

Meatballs really kind of complicate things in terms of like sound, structural sound.

Like it's.

You need a load-bearing pasta.

Exactly.

A load-bearing noodle.

And so.

A rigatoni, like even a bad rigatoni is big.

Like it's kind of, I feel like you can never go wrong with rigatoni.

I do agree with that.

And Penne has just become pedestrian, I don't know if that's the right word, so accessible, you know, like kids are eating it, you know?

It's not special.

No, it is not special.

It was so good.

And then she also made me, you guys, chocolate chip cookies from scratch using sourdough discard.

They were amazing.

Thank you so much.

And she vlogged the whole experience.

I did.

I knew I was going to be like cooking for you all day and getting the house ready for you.

And I just got, I'm sure you saw in my house, like this tripod for my kitchen so that I can cook more and film myself.

Cause I really, as I said, I enjoy vlogging you can't lie to the people you don't have just like a tripod in your kitchen you guys she has a tripod on wheels that like seriously has a ring light and a thing for your phone and it's like this it looks like you know when people walk around the hospital like with their IV right like they need to they need to go to the bathroom or something but they can't leave their IV so they take their big rolling IV bag with them on a stick she walks around the house like with this big tripod on wheels.

I've never seen a tripod on wheels before.

I take content creation seriously.

I told you guys I like vlogging and I really want to invest in myself.

No, I love it.

Like where when you have company over like where does it go?

It's so big.

I love it.

The boys like when they see a tripod, they go crazy because like it's a fun stick to play with.

And this one has confounded them.

They broke my last one.

Closet.

Actually, it was on its last leg.

Like one of the screws fell out, but it wasn't their fault.

And it's not even about company.

It's about like, how do I hide it from them?

Usually I have drapes in my dining room.

We just took them down because we're adding a valence.

Just drape things, you know?

Okay.

When the drapes come back, I can hide the tripod behind the drapes.

Very, yeah, that's a very Claudia thing to do.

I love to like hide things.

Because I don't want to bring it to my garage and like bring them out, bring them out every time I decide to create

content as frequently as we do.

Like you can't just be putting things away.

Well, it's not even about the vlogging.

I could also film more videos in my kitchen like for my stories of my bread and like maybe make a one cooking reel.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I don't know.

Don't make any promises because it's really crazy.

Yeah.

But you guys have to sort of see this thing to understand it.

Maybe we'll do like a I'm putting it in the vlog.

In the vlog, I talk about how I got new equipment and then I have like a vignette of it.

Is it from Amazon?

Yeah.

Okay.

So what happened was I asked Ben for the one that he used in the Hamptons that we used to clip onto the counter.

Yeah.

And we were always using it a good one.

However, my counters don't hang off.

So I actually don't think I'd be able to clip it onto my island.

And I, and then you could upgrade that same tripod to the one with wheels.

And I was like, I think it's got to be a wheelie.

It's seriously one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life.

But it works for you.

A content creator lives here.

And let me tell you, as a content creator myself, I can attest to the fact that like nothing is more personal than like choice of tripod.

Yeah.

Choice of mound.

Like it's such a personal thing.

So I'm glad that you found something that works for you.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

How are the stories today?

Weird.

Yeah, it's like a Friday.

There's weird vibes.

Like maybe it's just because like I'm not in my usual routine and the weather here is like kind of gloomy, but do you feel like today's like a weird day?

Yeah, it's just like to come to be together starting on Friday.

Usually like it's a Monday or something, but like to bring that Friday energy.

It's just, it's incongruous

with the facts.

It's totally incongruous.

And I feel like it feels like a weekend for us.

So it's mostly like the fact that we're sitting here.

It's like, why are we working on a weekend?

Right.

Okay.

Well, the good news is, is like, we're not far off from the weekend for everybody, no matter where you are.

Like tomorrow is Saturday.

Even though it was the four-day week.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I was actually just reminiscing because I was choosing my queenie and weenie of the week.

And I was like, what happened this week?

Not Craig's episode being this week.

That was an eternity ago.

Right.

Right.

Honorable mention, he's not my queenie, but I feel like I hear someone rolling around my tripod.

Oh, no.

They're messing with mommy's things.

Yeah.

It also is loud.

So you know, mom's coming down the hallway.

Everyone clear out.

So true.

I mean, she's literally like next thing you know, she's going to come down in a hospital gown.

Like it's the craziest thing years.

I'll make sure to get some content of Jackie and the tripod this weekend.

I'm committed to my craft.

That's all I'll say.

I think that's beautiful.

Thank you so much.

So I'm ready to dive in if you are.

Like you said, said, the stories are weird, but like we are not.

We are not.

And we do need to like cap off the week, right?

There's a lot of loose ends to tie up.

That's true.

We have a lot to say.

It wouldn't feel right if we, not that like we have a choice to do this episode or not.

Right.

I mean, I guess like we technically have free will, but no, like we have to work.

No, like you have jobs.

Yeah.

You could not show up to work, but like, will you still have a job?

No.

Money you fuck around and find out.

Right.

As it says on my wall.

Yeah, Jackie very underratedly in her studio has a kind of gorgeous, would you say that's, you know, a postmodern type of art?

Oh, I guess it is postmodern.

Yes, it's a, it's a piece that says fuck around and find out.

And just the story, if I may, and explain why it's in here.

Um, I ordered a lot of my furniture, including these buccal chairs that we sit on from Scout Design Studio.

And they have really great art.

And around the time I started saying fuck around and find out, they also had this piece.

So they were like, we would love to gift it to you.

Like, it's so you.

Oh, she really is an influencer.

She's getting gifts and she has a tripod on wheels.

Gifted art.

However, it has a swear word in it.

That's why it's in my studio and not just like on the ground in my house.

Not the swear word.

Not the swear word.

Well, in addition to, you know, you welcoming me into your home and giving me great food and a place to stay, you've also introduced me to the Fallout Boy Spidey Duran Disney Jr.

soundtrack.

Yeah.

So I guess Jackie's kids are obsessed with this like random show that I have seriously never heard of.

Spidey and his amazing friend.

And it's like the books and they have everything.

And I guess in conjunction with the TV version, Fallout Boy came out with like a whole album.

Soundtrack, yeah.

Let me tell you that shit's really good, you guys.

To your friendly neighborhood spider.

Like that shit pops up.

And their team

work can't be tighter.

I love

when like famous people

dabble in children's things, like and they take it seriously and they bring their art and their talent to the kids' space.

I think that's actually like a really generous use of their time.

Yeah, the way I like to imagine it is that like Fallout Boy Pete

has kids and they maybe watched Spider-Man and he was feeling inspired.

Like, hey, I could write write like a great theme song to this show.

And I would love to think that like that's how art happens.

I think like in a more realistic sense, the way how I perceive like these sort of artistic collaborations to happen is that kids' gigs like just pay really well.

And that's how they get like Tyler the Creator to do that whole Grinch thing, right?

Yes.

Okay.

But that's like different because the Disney Jr.

show is not like.

Grinch illumination.

Yeah, they don't have that kind of idea.

And I also feel like when a show does want to do a soundtrack and it's like a small show, they probably get like fake Fallout Boy.

Yeah.

You know, that's what I thought I was listening to at first because it doesn't say Fallout Boy on the song.

And I was like, oh, they like got like fake Panic at the Disco, whatever.

And like

for me.

And then a mom I was talking to was like Fallout Boy did the whole album.

I was like, oh, okay, that makes it really good.

Yeah.

It is.

They're like adults and kids alike.

If they're like things you have to listen to on repeat, it could be so much worse.

So true.

So thank you, Fallout Boy.

Thank you, Fallout Boy.

And thank you for introducing me to that.

Like, I'm actually enjoying it.

And I know Ben is like probably listening to it alone in his car.

Yeah, like adding it to his emo night playlist.

Okay, well now.

Without further ado, did it do it.

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story is a bit of an update from yesterday's story because tributes are pouring in from for Liam Payne, especially from his One Direction cast members.

So all of the members of One Direction have put out a statement, including then the One Direction official thing.

Fishing.

But Harry and the boys each wrote their own individual thing for Liam, just talking about the tragedy and how they'll be there for his kids

and just honoring his life.

I feel like the most interesting one was Zane's, because like...

When you have a really complicated relationship with someone and like a history of like not getting along, but you spent so much time together and you really grew up together and then they pass away, like those are complicated feelings.

And so I actually thought his was really well well written like everybody's was really sweet yeah i mean what is there to say it's so sad yeah but his like there's a lot of history there and i thought like he actually wrote something really lovely especially when everybody's looking to you like oh what are you gonna say because of course like we were just talking last week about the up against the wall thing exactly um so you know that there's

had been issues in the past, but all of that is washed away when something like this happens.

And then also other news is coming out about like Liam's final weeks.

Yeah.

It was reported that Universal Music, which was his record label, dropped him just days before his death.

Yeah.

A lot of the things that I've seen, like I feel like.

would lead one to think that like perhaps he did take his own life because I'm now seeing a ton of podcast clips that he's done in like years and no one when you stitch them together they look like something but if you just were following at the time he just talked about like his struggles with like suicidal ideation at times and like how you know his worst nightmare is being left alone in a hotel room he had actually said that on a podcast which was kind of creepy um and then this like you know getting bad news because you know like his solo career was like kind of in this weird place it does lead you to think that maybe it wasn't an accident but we don't know for sure i don't know if we will ever know for sure yeah and apparently like the cctv like

cameras and the security cameras in the lobby like weren't working for the hours that he was but i don't i don't know if that's supposed to be like make us think it's like shady i just feel like this hotel was like like not equipped for a megastar to show up at you know yeah i mean maybe his close family though would like know because also there are like ways to, you know, know the trajectory of the fall and like velocity and stuff like that.

Um, so maybe his family will get that information, but that doesn't mean that they'll share it like with the public.

So we might not ever know.

Um, and also in addition to like this bad news of the record label being dropped, there was like his ex, not to say anything like, you know, she's entitled to tell her story.

And

yeah, that there was just like a lot of like really bad stuff about him.

Yeah.

Like pretty being said.

Pretty significant allegations from her.

Yeah.

And she has been, um,

I haven't seen her say anything yet.

She had been talking a lot.

Like she was, I think she was writing this book that was like a fiction book, but she made it abundantly clear that like it was about her relationship and the time that she spent with him.

Um, and she had been doing like podcasts, like promoting it.

And it's been total radio silence since then.

I don't know like how or what she could even say.

But yeah, that's where it gets complicated, right?

Like

two things can be true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's really sad.

And I spent so much time on social media yesterday because I was traveling and like, literally, what else is there?

Like, I had my Kindle, but God forbid, I even opened it up.

Because it didn't have buttons.

And I just want to say, like, the, and I knew that the One Direction like fanhood was big and powerful and like all-encompassing, but it has been 10 years, right?

Yeah, I feel like they were kind of laying dormant.

There wasn't anything for them to actually engage with.

No, they are very, very much alive and they are really not doing well.

Like, this is absolutely devastating.

Like, I was, I was really shocked to see like how many, and it's, it's people like me.

Like, I grew up, I was such a one direction band, but like, these are all now now like grown people

really struggling with this news.

Yeah.

And I think for like Liam at the at the height of the band, like I feel like everybody had their favorites and there was some that were like, like Harry was a lot of people's favorites, but Liam was up there.

Like he was

he?

Yeah, I would say he was probably like people's second or third favorite between him, Harry, and Zane.

Okay.

Yeah.

I see that.

I also thought it was really interesting how everybody.

In their statements,

the boys from the band regarded him as like this, even though he he was the youngest i didn't realize that at the time they were all around like 18 or 19 but he was 16 he was the most experienced when it came to music and also i think he was like the most confident he kind of took on like a oddly like a mentorship role even though he was younger than everyone else and they all remarked on that in their statements and i i like never would have known that or even guessed that he was but then when you go back and watch all their like original auditions which is now content that is taking over my 30 page saw them torn like let me tell you like those boys literally couldn't sing if their life depended on it like harry styles singing drops of jupiter like it was in one of the rounds, like before they were made a band, like an actual piece of shit.

I was listening to them sing Torn.

That's their first, they put them together as a band, threw them in a room, and this was their first performance, Torn.

It's not bad.

But before that, like, I was like waiting.

I was like, this is going to be like Fifth Harmony singing.

Anything can happen.

And I was just like waiting to be moved.

I was like, oh no, they really grew together and they all actually really matured vocally.

It's amazing that they all made it past the first audition, let alone to like the fourth or fifth to get put together as a band.

But if you ever like truly want to giggle like go watch everybody's louis louis tomlinson like these are five people who actually like have no singing abilities it's unbelievable i guess that's where sidon cowell diseases credit no actually i don't know if you've seen this before liam payne i'm telling you nicole scherzinger is like having a moment i told you about her thing on broadway but apparently like the x factor uk archive like finally released a bunch of footage of the actual put together like the moment that the boys were put together in a band.

And it was 1000% all Nicole Scherzinger.

She literally, you see her playing with the pictures of all the people who maybe get sent home, maybe go to the next round.

She literally takes one, two, three, four, five, and she's like, they would be a cute band.

The girls would love them.

Like, it was literally all her idea.

And it's so funny how Simon Cowell gets a credit, like marketing mastermind.

Like your natural inclination just now was to be like, and that's everyone's to be like, oh, well, Simon Cowell really saw on them when others couldn't say.

No, it was literally Nicole Scherzinger.

Oh, wow.

And Niall Horn was just asked about that in an

interview because he was the first one that she pulled.

She built the band around him.

That's

Niall.

They were like, did you know that?

Like, this footage just came out.

He was like, I had no idea.

I was shocked.

He was like, when I was a kid, like, I never thought.

I think he thought he was always just happy to be there and definitely not like the number one guy.

No.

Thank you to whoever thought to like pull that footage out of the archive because seriously, that's stuff we needed to know.

And so it was never before seen?

Never before seen.

He's working in the X Factor archive.

His hat shows still even on the air.

Okay.

Okay.

So they like have an archival team.

And you know what the weird thing about

Liam Payne's time on X Factor is is that he ended up dating and having a baby with Cheryl, who was a judge on his season when he was 16.

She was a judge on his season.

I knew that they were together.

It's kind of like X Factor Royal.

I didn't even realize, oh, I didn't like put together this week that that's who is the mother of his child.

I also thought it was interesting, like celebrity tributes for Liam beyond the boys, like who he had professional and personal relationships with, like Charlie Pooth, Rita Aura.

Like I never would have guessed these people, but I guess they had worked together.

Yeah, the Rita Aura song is like everyone.

I don't know that one.

I think it was.

I heard it on TikTok today.

It was the first time I heard it.

Really?

We were just talking about it.

No, we're talking about Strip That Down for Me.

Yeah, yeah.

You were talking about it.

That song.

Because I don't even really know that song, but.

I didn't know the Rita Aura Liam Payne Q Lab.

It is.

Something me.

Collect me.

Something like that.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

No, but they have a song, but I hadn't heard of it.

Yeah, but it's not like his top five on Spotify.

I feel like it was like popular in the UK.

For you.

I feel like it was popular in the UK.

They're like, she's like oddly, like really famous in the UK.

It's not odd.

She's an older.

It's not odd, but when we think of like her place in culture here, it's very different than her place in culture.

There's no place for her.

I actually don't know if there is.

I think there's a place for her.

There's a place for us.

Like, maybe there is, yeah.

Well,

very tragic, like just very sad, sad news.

Yeah.

And every detail that comes in is just a sadder.

I know, like a dragon-labeled thing.

It's just like sad.

No, it makes you think, like, did that cause him to spiral?

Right.

Yeah, that is really sad.

Um, switching gears, if I may, uh, to our next story, which is actually going to elicit some strong feelings from you, knowing your history.

Oh, who was a DUI?

Wait, I saw it this morning.

Wait, I forget.

Oh, Jay Cutler.

Jay Cutler was arrested for DUI and gun possession in Tennessee.

He has a Glock.

I have a Glock and I've had it for quite some time.

Jay Cutler was arrested arrested on DUI charges on Thursday night.

Not only was he taken into custody for driving under the influence, but he was also hit with three other charges, TMZ reported.

He was busted for gun possession, failure to exercise due care, and violation of implied consent law.

Well, not cool of him to not exercise care for due.

Like, that's disrespectful.

You got to.

That's very disrespectful.

I love that that's a crime.

Like, you didn't exercise due care.

I completely agree.

Like, get yourself together.

Care more.

I obviously have strong feelings about DUIs.

I think it's like the most disgusting heinous irresponsible thing you can do and like i am a hater for life most of the time if you have one the thing with jay cutler is he is so someone like i don't give a shit about like

if i wanted to stop engaging with his content i didn't even engage ever like yeah i don't know how to stop existing like my relationship

your life doesn't have to change like nothing about your behaviors has to change now someone who like has three kids and like having this type of behavior like obviously i feel sad for like that's tough yeah um but again like this is just so not my

level of care like I don't care you know expressing no do care be charged with not lack of do care lack of do care I do care I know you do I like Jay Cutler I also I don't like subscribe to his channel things that he does but anytime he pops up doing an interview or even like on very cavalier anytime I encounter him like I like him yeah um that's why because you watched very cavalieri I didn't I did and then like you know I loved his interview with Sophia with an F.

Can I ask you a question?

Guys, if you haven't watched Jay Cutler on Sophia with an F,

ship.

Can I ask you a question?

I'm just now putting together.

What did you think of Shannon when you were watching Very Cavalier?

So it's hard because I don't remember.

She was like the villain, but you could tell that she was like being the villain.

And she was impossible to root for.

Like she wasn't doing her job.

And Kristen kept giving her chances.

And like, they didn't establish why Kristen would keep giving this person chances.

Like, is she even good at her job?

We don't know.

right but there were also like other the girls who are supposed to be like the good girls like britanni she had an extra eye in her name um no brettani

she like wasn't doing it for me either got it so you like couldn't pick a side i couldn't there were a couple like girls i i guess mostly like i liked kristen and jay because i thought that like the drama in the store um the girls who we were like supposed to like who were like funny and cute and sweet like they weren't doing it for me and then like the villain is was villaining right right she was playing a part very much yeah interesting i never put that together that like at the time i know i always think about that too i think shannon probably asked me that once and i like such a different person like it's crazy like that's not her and when shannon talks about the show she was like no like they said jump and i said how hi like what can i do for the show how can i be the villain

like how can we make this show pop off like i'm here i'm on television i'm excited and i'll do what it takes tea player so like that so i feel like that makes sense that that was my reaction was like this person's not doing likable things but she wasn't trying to be liked she was just like trying to do good do good good entertainment exactly that's so interesting yeah well back to jay cutler like seriously do better there's really not much to say when somebody acts so poorly and makes such bad decisions yeah and thank god nobody got hurt with his glock or with his driving yeah and the the possession was illegal of the gun yeah like because why was he charged with that well i believe in tennessee like you can have a gun but you can't just like be throwing it around you know i think it has to be like in a holster maybe they pulled him over and they found it like loose in the front seat not like in his glock compartment okay like there are laws even when there it's like a like a red like a state that has like a gun yeah they're cool with that field carry yeah like you can't just be like whipping it out yeah twirling it around your index but you're you're implying that he was twirling it i think that that's what we're like and you're saying he was swirling it because when you get a dui like they take you out of your car and then everything in your car is like fair game right

yeah and so maybe like his legal firearm

was being transported in an illegal way.

Or maybe like some people, you know, he might have homes in different states and like it's licensed in one state, not in another.

I don't know.

I don't have a Glock, so I don't know the rules.

And I'm just kind of guessing here.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Kind of like a vague.

Choke.

And then I feel like they just threw the book at him.

Like the do care, please elaborate further.

And then the failure to consent to implied law.

The fuck does that mean too?

Maybe he like didn't want to do a breathalyze.

That's what I feel like.

He didn't want to do the line test or a breathalyzer, but I saw on TikTok once, and so keep this in mind.

It's just TikTok.

Like free legal advice, you don't have to take a breathalyzer test.

Yeah.

But I don't know if that's true.

So if you would get pulled over, maybe just breathe.

But I think that like bodes poorly for you.

Like in the larger case, it's

used.

Yeah, right.

But I guess it bodes less poorly than a 0.09.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, because you could just theorize about the person who didn't take the breathalyzer

as opposed to somebody with real results.

Yeah.

This is a legal podcast.

Get your free legal advice from Turdian Barnes.

Turdy and Barnes.

Turdy and Barnes.

Who is your version of Seleno and Barnes?

Like, is there a commercial down here that like plays?

I don't watch enough live television

to say.

Right.

No screen time.

But you could always see them on the highway.

Right.

They get you everywhere.

Yeah.

Your wife is hot.

Multimedia.

Your wife is hot.

Your wife is hot.

I like that one.

okay jay cutler do better like actually like you're a grown-ass man unacceptable and you're wealthy like get a get a car and driver i can't see jay cutler being chauffeured around he seems like the type who wants to take the wheel i can see jay cutler calling an uber like i really you could yeah i actually like i couldn't well that's where we're different like i feel like he wants to be in control well then don't drink like you can't have it all i'm not saying like he should i'm just saying some people aren't meant to be driven around and some people are and i just just want to say, I am meant to be driven around.

I feel like you guys can't see me behind the wheel.

Yep.

Yep.

I, I just can't stress enough how much I love to be chauffeured around, whether it's by my husband, by a stranger as an Uber driver.

Like I love to be chauffeured.

Me as well.

That's like if I won the lottery, like one of my first hires would be a personal chauffeur.

Yeah.

Like round the clock, anytime I need anything.

Yeah.

Call the chauffeur.

Chives.

Fire up the car.

Fire.

Like kind of how big in Sex and City always has Ray.

Like that's what I want.

Yeah.

Well, are you ready for our next story?

Someone who's attempting to do better, it seems, um, after so many times of not doing better.

Morgan Wallen is announcing his own festival created with AEG presents and stagecoach producer Stacey V.

So, after headlining stagecoach in May, country superstar Morgan Wallen will spend a weekend in May 2025

headlining his own newly created music festival dubbed Sand in My Boots, named after one of his most popular songs.

The festival will take place May 16th through 18th on the shores of Gulf Shores, Alabama.

It was announced on Thursday.

Let me tell you, Ben went to the Gulf Shores of Alabama like for Spritz a couple of, maybe like a year ago, and has not stopped talking about it since.

He says it's like seriously the most underrated, beautiful place on the planet.

Oh, wow.

It's kind of close to you.

Yeah.

That's great.

I was like, I first rolled my eyes at this because like it's giving Astrow World.

Like I hate when people get into like festival planning when it's not your job.

Like it's obviously hard to do.

But having the stage coach and the AG is like a Live Nation type of company, I feel like, you know, maybe they'll be able to pull it off.

You know, Live Nation was involved in Astro Worlds, whatever.

I actually think this is a good idea.

When you could sell that many tickets just yourself.

Yeah.

Why not make it a full affair and make it more of a business?

Because then we'll have a whole lineup of people probably who will participate like

pretty big names.

Yeah.

And then you get like the liquor sponsors and everybody buys tickets and they can't like, it's a whole thing.

And there aren't like enough country festivals in my opinion, like mainstream ones.

I agree.

I think it's a good idea.

I think for something like stagecoach, people literally buy their stagecoach ticket ticket because

Morgan Wallen is headlining.

So why not capture all of that for Morgan's self?

And then you think about how like he came to New York.

He did two nights at MSJ.

No, MetLife.

So it's like, it's like 150,000 people.

Right.

I think.

And that's just for a two-hour concert, right?

Like imagine, it's actually a really smart business decision decision, but there are only so many people who can do it.

Yeah.

It's the stadium swirly.

So it's literally like him and Taylor, Edge, not even, I don't think Ed Sheeran sells a lot of tickets, but I don't think they sell out years in advance.

Yeah, Luke too, but Luke just did something, I think, kind of similar to this, actually.

Bootleggers,

fireside bootleggers in the sands.

Yeah, bootleggers taking the boots by storm.

And my bootleggers.

Also, Luke was actually asked about

his upcoming concert for the Hurricane Relief and if he's going to sing Hurricane.

And he said, like, you know, I thought about it and ultimately i decided no

that's our king right there like like king of sensitivity even though if he said i thought about it and i ultimately decided yes i would have also responded that's my king right there of course i respect because you went i respect his decisions i respect his decisions as you should when you truly love someone inside and out and that's what i'm trying to tell you guys

trust your faves trust or else

they shouldn't be your faves yeah yeah so we won't be having like a demi lovato heart attack at the american heart association type of moment which is for the best no it makes me like sad that we won't have that type of moment however i wouldn't want that type of moment like rock on luke like i would rather clown on someone else not yeah we're protective of his record like we don't want that anywhere on him but like for demi it is so congruous with her that's who she is like so all over the place never thinking like not reading the room yep like doing acts of service without like thinking in them through if i ever did that i think i'd have a heart attack I love it.

I love it.

And it's also like iconic as is, it's just like amazing across the board.

I agree.

It's like, it really goes down in history as like a cornerstone moment of pop culture.

It's also very Katy Perry.

Like Katy Perry could do that.

I would love it from her.

I would hate it and I would love it so much.

I could see Katie up there.

Right.

Yeah.

Like she could, I don't even know what song.

I don't even want to think about what she could do.

Well, Luke is not.

Well, yeah, like, you know, somebody died in a fire and she's singing fireworks.

Luke will not be doing that.

So.

Because that's my king right there.

Because that's our king right there.

Yeah.

So congrats, Morgan Wallen.

Yeah, no, that's cool.

Like, please.

More of this.

More of this in a very safe way.

Please learn from all the things that happened before you.

Learn from Fire Festival.

Learn from the world.

Learn from Astro World.

Like, take security measures.

Like, do all the things.

Don't cut corners.

Yeah.

For a pretty pet.

Well, then that's just exciting because there's another country festival and Morgan Wallen's the headliner.

So that's cool.

Have fun.

Get some sand in your boots.

Oh, I don't love the name.

I wanted to say that.

Sanding your fingers.

Do you think it should have been Morgue Fest?

No, I feel like, okay, he's going to name it after one of his songs.

He has so many songs that are like country

to a T.

Let's see.

Like, I don't know, Sand in My Boots.

It doesn't sound like a festival.

It's on the beach.

Yeah.

No, that's cute.

We're like the last night festival.

That's kind of cute.

It's fine.

The dangerous festival.

Well, no, hopefully not.

Hopefully it's not.

Hopefully not.

Hmm.

The hometown festival.

That's cute, but it would have to be in his hometown.

Well, it's someone's hometown.

Yeah, I like Morgue Fest, but I like Morgue Fest.

I like Wally Fest.

Wally.

Yeah, I think Wally Fest is best.

You know what's funny about the movie Wally?

I don't know what's funny about the movie Wally.

I've never seen it.

It's that like it's so silent film.

Forgotten.

It's forgettable.

I was watching a compilation of best animated movies to win the Oscars for like the last 20 years and Wally won.

And there were a lot of forgettable ones in there.

But I just felt like people thought Wally was a cultural shift.

And now looking back, it's like, what did Wally change?

I don't think Wally was a cultural shift.

I think Wally

was a cultural shift, you know?

Ianna?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm just saying, I don't think Wally did as much as he thinks he did.

Yeah.

And Wally, like, let's be completely real.

Wally

was just like kind of an E.T.

knockoff, right?

Wally,

E.T., like.

Yeah, no, he was like a robot that was the only like survivor of

catastrophe.

But wasn't it a silent film?

Like, Wally did it.

Because there was nobody there.

Like there was soundtrack and stuff, but like there was no other people.

And they wondered why like no kids wanted to see it, please.

Right.

Are you ready for our next story?

If it's our next story that's brought to you by Huggies per chance.

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I'm going to embrace my turd aesthetic.

Okay,

that's fine with me because I think that's a beautiful aesthetic, but I'm obviously biased.

Our next story: some tell me lies news.

Tell me lies.

Tell me, sweet little lies.

Also, I was thinking last night that I don't like love the name of the show.

Let's talk about that.

Right?

I don't dislike it because it's accurate.

Like everybody in the show just fucking lies.

I know, but like...

No, actually, I'm going to disagree with you.

I think it's a fine name.

It's not like strong enough.

I do wish they utilized.

It should be called like...

Sex lives of college girls.

No, like something like just more concrete.

I do wish that they utilized like the iconic song, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.

Like that's whenever we all hear that word, that phrase, we think of that song.

I like when the title is a noun, not a verb.

She likes when the title is a noun.

Okay.

So what do you think is like the perfectly named show?

The Desperate Housewives noun.

Yeah.

Girls.

Sweet.

Girls.

Game of Thrones.

This is like a verb.

It's an action item.

I agree.

Anyways, but the tell-me-lies boss is addressing the dramatic finale and a bit of a spoiler for season three, which is that a cast member is not coming.

It's not going to be on season three, not because they're not coming back, but because they're no longer part of the story.

Leo.

Oliver.

Oh, that's shocking.

Yep.

Although I think it makes sense.

Like this was just like a weird time in Bree's life.

Yeah, but that would mean that if he is the person on the phone, he either stays on the phone, like in a

like a metaphysical sense.

Yes.

or

he's not the person on the phone.

Yeah, no, I think that the eagle-eyed viewers thought that if Oliver was on the phone, that was like far too obvious.

Like the show was more creative than that.

Right.

So when asked if he would be back in the future, Megan Oppenheimer, who's the

showrunner, said, I don't think so.

I think Tom was just wanting to do one season.

That's Oliver's actor name.

He said, I think that we wrapped up his story in a way that really worked for me.

I don't know where else we would go after that with him.

That's true.

She said, I think we could bring Marianne back maybe.

There's a lot more story to tell with her.

But I think we kind of learned that Oliver is so broken and hollow by the end of the season that I'm ready for Bree to be done with him.

Yeah, and he's not like in love with Brie.

He's not going to chase Brie.

This was like a fun little game for him for one semester.

There's nothing more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm glad to know that like Brie is not going to spend next semester pining.

Not that she would.

I think she was so

thoroughly turned off by the whole situation.

But it also

poises her to go back to Evan where it's like, oh, all of a sudden, like Evan looks like an amazing guy.

Yeah, like stability is attractive to her again.

Right.

So someone who only wants her.

This I feel like isn't a spoiler, honestly.

Like, if you didn't watch this season, then I guess it's a spoiler.

Yeah.

But I feel like it's not.

Yeah.

Tell me, less.

Wait, I also just found something out that I didn't know because a lot of people were obsessed with the song that played at the very end of the season finale, which was a song from the killers, but it was like a girl singing

in a very like, you know, sultry.

And that actually is Brie singing.

And I can't believe I didn't even notice it because it literally sounds just like her talking voice.

Yeah, I listened to it on Spotify.

And then I,

it's not something like that I would listen to.

More than once.

It was really good in the show.

And I love when people like are a part of a show and they get involved in like different departments, you know?

Maybe like next season, she'll join like the theater troupe with her musical abilities.

Like the a cappella group.

Yeah.

They need hobbies, by the way.

None of these people participate in extracurriculars.

It's so tricky.

Maybe that's why they're so toxic.

Except for Wiggly.

Not even anymore.

Right.

So trivial.

Like they don't get involved on campus.

They're not going to, they're not going to have like good extracurriculars for law school or anything else like they want to do.

Marie needs needs to join the acapella group.

Yeah, a little something, a little intramural league.

You know,

one night in college I went to, like, there was a couple a cappella groups within NYU, obviously.

I'm like, are they going to join a sorority?

Yeah, because we're supposed to like think they're cool, right?

Yeah, and they're

the middle of sophomore year.

Even a school that has late rushing, like Colgate did, we didn't rush till sophomore year, which is really late.

They would have been rushing.

Right.

They're definitely not.

So they've decided not to.

And then why?

They're like this insular group of freaks.

What was also a plot hole was that I always assumed Wrigley and Stephen lived in a fried house

because they're seniors.

Well, they share a big room.

Yeah, the rooms are confusing.

Everybody's room is different.

But Evan lives off property, right?

Right.

He has an apartment downtown because he's wealthy.

Yeah.

But Wrigley and Stephen like live on campus as seniors in a dorm.

Yeah.

That was when when the the everything happened with Drew, I was like wait, that's the outside of their building.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

I thought they lived in like the same house as Leo and she was just like going from upstairs to downstairs.

Right.

Where did Leo live?

I thought Leo lived in the house, but now in thinking about his room, it must be a dorm room.

I never thought it was a fraternity.

I thought it was a fraternity house because like usually like juniors and some seniors live in the frat house.

No, no, and they had bathrooms like in their rooms, which is not a dorm thing.

Right.

Yeah, no, it's kind of a plot hole, like the lack of Greek life.

The lack of, no, but they are in some sort of fraternity because they have parties in a house.

Oh, yeah.

And it's always the same house.

And like Leo, Stephen, and the other one.

And those boys couldn't be going if they weren't in the fraternity.

Right.

But like, how did Chris, a freshman boy, get into that party?

That's a really good point.

So that's, unless you, if you know the rules of like parties and Greek life in college, which I like don't really, then this show has a plot hole.

And the only reason why I'm harping on it is because Corolla did not miss a detail in anything regarding like liberal art school.

Unless there's no Greek life

accurate.

There's unless there's no Greek life and they're just like, I don't know, partying in the student center.

Well, that sounds fun.

But then why are they always in the one place?

Like, why don't they go to different places?

Well, when they go to those parties, is it the same house every time?

Yeah, it's always like the same drinks.

Yeah, and like same decorations.

Yeah, and who's putting up those decorations if not like members of the community?

The community.

Yeah, totally.

Totally.

The decor committee of the fraternity.

The beautification committee.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Which is a little Broadway news.

Broadway?

What's going on the great white way you ask i don't know what is dirty dancing is set to become a broadway musical in 2025 is the movie a musical no it's just like a movie where they dance with dancing so lionsgate wants theatergoers to have the time of their lives so the studio is adapting dirty dancing as a broadway musical it will launch in late 2025 with aspirations for broadway as well as a north american run

Do you remember that reality show about Tyler Cameron?

Yeah, about like reality stars like

and dancing.

Dirty dancing with the reality stars.

Yeah, right.

Dirty dancing with the stars.

I just feel like they really didn't need to do that.

Like I almost wish that they didn't.

I wish you didn't remind me because I would have forgotten.

It was the first thing that came to mind.

Like surely.

So crazy.

I know.

My first thing that came to mind is like, this is really exciting for someone who's going to get this role.

Yeah, dirty dancing for me is a little bit before my time.

So I don't have like the respect and obsession that I know a lot of people like three years older than me do.

I've seen it.

Like didn't love it.

And I honestly don't think that guy's hot.

Like, sorry.

Patrick.

Yeah.

So, like, for me, this does nothing, but I think for people, like, it does a lot.

Like, do you care about dirty dancing?

Like, we also didn't grow up in a dirty dancing house.

I feel like you either did or you didn't.

Yeah.

And honestly, it is like a few years before our time.

Right.

And like, they were at a camp.

They were in the Catskills, which is just what we associate with camp.

And it was summer.

But I don't know that they were at a camp.

That is supposed to be Jewish.

The Catskills are very Jewish.

Like the only people who spend the summer in the Catskills are Jews.

The

1987 film starred Jennifer Gray as Frances Baby Houseman.

It's getting.

And Jennifer Gray is Jewish.

A young woman who falls in love with a dance instructor, Johnny Castle, at a resort.

Well, he was just a dance instructor.

Like he doesn't necessarily need to be Jewish because he was like traveling there for the summer.

Right.

It was at a resort in New York's Catskills during summer 1963.

I'm sorry.

Like it's literally Mazel.

If you guys ever watched like Mazel,

the Catskills used to be like a Hamptons type of place for Jewish people.

So maybe maybe I'll give it another chance.

Like, I don't know.

It's so famous and it's so quotable.

I mean, you are going to catch me saying nobody puts baby in a corner, even though I have like literally no idea what they're talking about.

Right.

But she is baby.

Right.

Which is also weird.

I agree.

Like, that's your name?

Questionable.

But her name is Frances.

And Jennifer.

Like, I don't get it.

And baby.

Yeah.

So who's doing the music?

I don't know.

I don't know, but the woman who wrote the screenplay will direct the re-envisioned production.

Is it Broadway or off-Broadway?

It's meant to be on Broadway.

All right.

I mean, I feel like these days, Broadway, it's like really

only revivals and redos and mean girls, like School of Rock, Matilda.

Like, it's just like shit that already exists being made into musical form.

And I'm not upset because they're doing that with the greatest showman.

But, like, what happened to original musicals?

I think that's why Nicole Scherzinger's is getting so much.

I do think when there is a really good original musical, it like takes off.

It's massive.

Like, Book of mormon hamilton and wicked

so

they come around once in a while because before that i was like lying king on broadway a lot like cinderella the usual suspects yeah van hansen cultural shift yeah yeah yeah

cultural shift

so that's why it's

a dime a dozen oh i feel like i should be able to answer this i know i saw dear evinhen in like 2018.

did i see anything after that?

Probably not.

Maybe not.

I actually recently saw En Juliet, where Charlie and Melio is starring in.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was good.

Cool.

Yeah.

I'm kind of a patron of the arts.

You are.

Yeah.

Are you ready for Queenie and Weenie?

Well, for the first time, maybe ever in my life, now I'm having deja vu.

Maybe I did say this last week.

I have a queenie and I don't have a weenie.

No, you didn't say that last week, I don't think.

So maybe you did.

Maybe I did.

Okay, my queenie.

Well, I wanted to make my queenie like tell me lies in general because like it was such a fun, like I feel like we haven't all watched the season finale of something since like Game of Thrones.

Like it was really fun to watch something that everyone was talking about, a scripted show nonetheless, but it was a little general.

So I went a little bit more specific and I went with Diana.

I love the fictional Diana.

Fictional Diana, like from the show, it was nice to see like one person making good decisions and like caring about their fucking future in the show.

Like respect queen.

And she just cruised out of there in the Bentley, like obsessed.

She is the queenie of the week.

My queenie of the week were the tell-me lies showrunners because the way that they have translated this book to show is actually harder than anything than just like writing a separate show.

It's so amazing.

It's not only like fun to watch something that everyone's watching, but like that it's so quality.

I feel like for so long we're like, maybe it's just not possible to make good.

Maybe we've seen it all and you can't pull one over on us and we're sick of everything.

But this is so quality.

It's so good.

And they've just done an amazing job with it.

And for that, they are my queenies.

Yeah, I am in agreement.

Like it's really just been so fun.

And

like, I'm going to miss it.

I'm going to miss it.

Yeah.

Now, your weenie of the week.

I was between two, a rock and a hard place.

So me.

Like, you have two weenies.

But my weenie of the week, and it's crazy because it was probably in another universe could have been queenie, but it just didn't achieve that.

And because it wasn't queenie-like.

Victoria Secret.

Because it wasn't queenie-like, it was weenie-like.

And that was the Victoria Secret fashion show.

And I will say, like, to the marketers and the ideators, the girls are beautiful.

And, you know.

they are who and what they are.

But the fact that the show stood for absolutely nothing and it was kind of a hot mess.

Weenie.

When I was ideating for Weenie and Queenie, Victoria's Secret did cross my desk as weenie.

I like, I don't know, I feel this odd attachment to it, like from my childhood.

Like I, I couldn't make it.

I can't turn on it.

No, I mean, I have, like, when I gave my, people were like, I'm so confused.

Did Claudia and Jackie like Victoria's Secret Badge?

You're like, I don't know.

I don't know either.

I can't say that I liked it.

I can't, I didn't love it.

I didn't hate it.

And that's the problem.

That's wherein lies the weenie dumb.

Therein lies the issue.

Friends don't try to trick you.

Jax, describe in three words how you're feeling for Taylor Swift tonight.

Who's your weenie?

I told you I didn't have one.

Oh, and you sat with that.

Yeah, and I said, like, you had two and I had none.

Is it opposite day?

Well, you know who I always want to make my weenie and I feel like this week I really can.

Who?

Sinoir.

Yeah, but again, I am against it because it...

Because then it just like makes queenie weenie then every week.

Katie Perry is not the same as Yahya Sinoir.

Like, it's not right.

Of course.

But like him throwing that stick at the end.

Obsessed.

Absolute weenie.

That actually is a definition of weenie behavior.

Like, you're literally, like, you don't even have a hand.

Like, stop.

He can't give it up.

Yeah.

Okay.

Maybe, maybe my weenie is the stick.

I like that.

How am I feeling for Taylor?

Yeah.

Honestly, overwhelmed.

It's a lot, by the way.

Like, anxious.

Yeah, that's so fair.

Nervous.

Yeah.

No, these are all fair feelings.

We are going on like a quest this evening.

Like it's a trick.

We have a big night ahead of us.

I know that I'm gonna have fun, but until I'm in the season

and like it's all happening around me, like it's just a lot.

No, and I want to tell you because Brian had said this to me.

And he, when he first started going to aerospace, he was very much like familiar, but a little bit of an outsider.

And he said the first thing he thought, and I think you're going to have this experience too, was like.

He was actually in pain, like his ears, like the screaming.

I actually think we should pick up some earplugs.

Oh, damn.

When I picked you up at the airport yesterday, there was a jar of earplugs.

We should have picked them up.

I didn't even think about it.

Look from CDS.

Like I don't think it would hurt for you to have, honestly.

Like it is jarring, like the screams.

This is the first one back in a while.

Like, and how are our seats?

Like, they're good.

Are they great?

We bought them so long.

I don't even know where we are.

Actually, I'm not in possession of the seats.

Our third, our third, Margo is.

I, I, I know it, I know that they're good, but I really good, but are they great?

I don't know.

I remember when we were buying, we were like, oh my God, they kept disappearing.

Like, we couldn't like, so I think they're good.

Like,

I think they're good objectively, but like, you know, are you going to see the sweat on her forehead?

No.

Forehead.

I don't need to see the sweat, but I just, I want to see it.

Yeah.

And you're going with two people who have been many times and we took our expertise like and we applied that knowledge while we were buying this.

It was practical application of policy.

It was a practical application of policy.

Yes.

Okay.

Well, yeah, I'm excited to give you guys my review on Monday.

Oh, yeah.

We will have much to discuss on Monday.

And Turdy will still be here on Monday.

Probably.

So we'll be together in studio video two, YouTube.

Yeah, apologies to the audio extravaganza.

It just like just needed to happen.

We're in conservation mode.

We are in conservation mode.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show.

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