A Bigger Richard Lewis: Wednesday, September 25th, 2024

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Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Wednesday.

It's hump day.

Very appropriate.

Because sitting next to me is a person I hump all the time.

True.

It is my husband.

Yeah, that's right.

Special episode alert.

Special episode alert.

Bwunge on the pod.

Bwunge on the pod.

It's my husband, Ben Soffer, boy with the job, host of the Good Guys podcast, founder of Spritz Society LLC Incorporated.

Hey, Ben, how you dern?

Hi, darling.

That was a wonderful intro.

I am doing splendid.

How are you?

I'm doing good.

I'm so excited to have you here with me today.

For anyone wondering, you know, we had said that today's episode would be audio only.

So today's kind of a busy day for Jax.

She's coming to New York for literally five minutes.

She's on her way.

I didn't want to overwhelm her, and I love podcasting with you.

And it's been so long since we've had you on the show.

So I said, Jax, you relax.

You do what you got to do.

Blunge, stepping in.

I'm always here to step in.

Always here, always ready, willing, and able.

Always here, always queer.

Always, yeah, sure.

Okay.

Before we dive in, we have so much to catch up on, you know, between the two of us, being married, being, you know, power cup lovers.

Lovers, we also want to quickly make space, hold space for the fact that today we are announcing something very exciting.

If you were able to come see us at the Girly Swirly's night out this summer in New York and the tri-state area, you know how much of a blast it was.

And we are so excited to announce that we've added a show.

And this show, it's Girly Swirlies Night Out.

It's just no, but it's a holiday extravaganza, a holiday spectacular, because it is taking place December 8th in Hollywood, Florida at the Hard Rock Seminole Casino, where we have been so many times.

Like, we love that casino.

Oh, my God.

And when they were like, they want girly swirlies to show up.

By the way, they love that.

We love that casino.

But do you remember why we don't love that casino?

I do, I do, but I'm not going to, I don't want to say anything negative.

No.

Things need to change.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They don't get free drinks.

By the way, it has been a really long time since we've been there.

Maybe they changed their policy.

I'm just saying, like, Claudia and I used to go, we were like these like gambling addicts.

Like we'd go to the tables.

We didn't care how much money we lost.

We'd make friends.

And we, you know, when you're spending that kind of cash, you expect to vodka soda.

It's true.

You expect a vodka soda.

Nothing.

Nothing.

You have to go to the bar and pay for your drinks.

That's it.

I'm holding space for that.

Maybe they've had a policy change in recent years.

We have not been to that casino like in four years.

All that I know is that they're not coming for the tables.

They're coming for you.

So it's fine, but I can't hear Hard Rock Seminole and not think no free drinks.

It's really exciting.

December 8th.

So tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10 a.m.

for Patreon members.

If you're in the Patreon, you will get a code.

You can get access to tickets before everyone else.

And then it will go on sale for everybody else on Friday.

So stay tuned.

Just check our Instagram for all the links and things and countdowns to make sure that you don't miss it.

December 8th,

Hollywood, Florida at the Hard Rock Seminole Casino.

I'm so excited to bring Jizeno back to be doing it with a holiday flair.

And I know I can't have a Christmas tree in real life, but maybe we can have one on set, like on the stage.

And it's just like so legit playing at a casino.

I know.

Like you've done it before.

Well, you just did it before.

I was going to say, like, oh, Jackie has.

I was going to say Jackie hasn't done it before, but she has.

And are you going to be there?

Of course I'm going to be there.

Have I ever missed a show?

Yeah.

What show?

Name it.

Yeah.

Literally drove, literally drove.

Literally drove these animals to every single show.

They're on stage.

I don't even get a thank you.

Thank you, Ben, so much for driving us to every show.

Nothing.

Literally Sutton's track.

Name them.

Nothing.

Name them.

You're literally crazy.

So that's the big announcement.

Yeah, I'll be there.

I'll fly the plane.

Listen, I have to do a job and promote.

If you could shut the fuck up, that would be great.

That is the announcement we've been teasing for a couple of days.

Take me to Florida.

Be sure to be there or be square.

Now the promo's done.

Great.

Be there or be square.

I'll be there because I'm always there.

Oh, my God.

Victim mentality.

I'm always there.

You're gonna be joining me on the toast to obviously uncover the fast five.

Oh, yeah.

That kind of goes without saying.

Big time.

But before that, I think it's high time we caught up because we've been through a lot.

We have.

Since the last time you were on the toast, I'm not entirely sure when that was.

Yes.

But let's talk about kind of the biggest thing going on in our lives right now.

Yes.

Gilmore Girls.

Yes.

Love.

Oh, so good.

We went on this journey together and you tell me your because I turned on Gilmore Girls and you knew the theme song.

And then I meant to record this, you guys, but I forgot.

You're out on the run.

On the road.

And so cold.

Is it being horny and so cold?

Oh, you have to do this.

Yeah, that's hilarious.

Call my name and I'll be there on the next train.

So I asked Ben actually at home because we talked about you on the toast.

And I said Ben knew the theme song to Gilmore Girls.

I think he'd watched it before, like with your sister.

And then Jackie said, no, I feel like Ben grew up in a Carol King house.

And I said, Ben, did you listen to Carol King growing up?

And And you know what, Jackie?

Sorry, what did you say?

Yes.

Yes.

My dad had one CD that he would play in the car, and it had James Taylor, and it had Carol King.

He loved both of them.

So I have those songs memorized, and this is one of the songs.

Never saw Gilmore Girls.

Maybe I saw like an episode or two.

We've been trying to start this fucking show.

This is the second time.

For a long time, I feel like it's more than that.

Second time.

And for whatever reason, the heart grabbed this time.

The heart grabbed this time.

But really, Gilmore Girls is about nothing.

Yeah.

Like, you could miss an episode, come back, nothing's happened.

Sometimes Ben's really busy, and like, I'll watch an episode, and he comes back, and he doesn't know.

And Claudia lately has been like falling asleep at 9:45.

So, like, I want to finish an episode, I'll watch an episode.

Then she wants to re-watch it the next day.

It's your fault.

You fell asleep.

No, I shouldn't be punished enough to watch the episode twice.

Let me tell you, Gilmore Girls is a perfect show to fall asleep to.

It's like warm and cozy, and there's like a nice soundtrack.

It is.

And you know, if you fall asleep, you're not going to miss anything.

It's kind of been lulling me to sleep.

I like it.

Is it crazy to think that Lorelei, I'm the same age as Lorelei?

she's a 16-year-old daughter.

Oh, in the show.

Yeah, she's 32.

That's crazy.

It is really crazy.

That means that you, sorry, I think they know that you're 30.

I don't think that they know 30.

You would have a 14-year-old daughter.

Obsessed.

Oh my God, we should have gotten pregnant.

Honestly, best friends.

A thousand percent.

It's pretty cool.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

Who's your favorite character?

Ooh, who's my favorite character?

That's a great question.

Suki.

I think Suki.

I am Suki.

I think Suki is my favorite character, too.

Although, when I think about shows that we watch and love, like Young Sheldon, there's so many standout characters who like are the best, right?

Obviously, George Cooper Sr.

I don't feel like in Gilmore Girls, there's like a standout character who's the best.

Like everyone's pissing me off.

Like Lorelei was pissing me off the other day.

Yep, yep.

There's not like an obvious best character.

No, but Suki is like...

She's up there.

She's a sweet woman.

Yeah.

Sweet woman, chef.

You are Suki.

Her relationship with her produce manager.

Jackson.

Like, that is just like...

You.

I need a produce manager.

would you be my produce manager you need a produce manager why would you you can fuck her would you manage my produce you need a produce manager I'm literally asking you to manage my produce do I not manage your produce I literally went to the kosher grocery yesterday I'm just saying if I called you and I said I need an out-of-season carrot from Alaska would you go and source it for me because I'm just saying that Suki's carrot manager Jackson would source it for her okay let's play out that conversation ask me Claudia do you mind shut the fuck up

see I need a produce manager you're bossing me around I have a full-time job bitch like

you're crazy.

You're crazy.

How are things going over at the Good Guys?

If you guys don't know, Ben hosts a podcast with Josh Peck of, you know, Oppenheimer fame.

And it's one of my favorite podcasts.

You guys have such great guests.

I think this week the episode came out with Mike the Situation, right?

It did.

What did you think about him?

I really liked him.

He's just like a

star.

He's impressive, too.

But like through and through, he's like an entertainer.

Like he showed up just like smelling like an entertainer, wearing glasses, like Versace shirt.

Like he just like is always on yeah yeah even on the good guys where I wear like literal shorts and like show my mangina like he's here

you know your clips always come up on my tick tock and there's a lot of legs I want to talk to you about the fact that you sit on the good guys how you're sitting right now your left ankle is always propped up on your right knee yeah which gives you know an a doorway an entry to your mangina yeah and you insist on wearing shorts so frequently on good guys what the hell is that yeah so um and sometimes you don't even wear shoes i've been recently barred from wearing shorts.

I think that's who barred you?

Josh.

He is so right for that.

It's insane.

Like the movie suckles

sport.

I really barred myself.

There was, there was an episode where my shorts were so high that you could literally see my nuts act.

Yeah.

And like Romeo was jealous.

Like he watched and he's like, dad, like that's not cool.

No, you cut off my nuts and then you're showing your nuts.

It's the craziest thing the way you dress on your podcast.

Like you forget it's being video recorded too.

The thing is, it's not that.

It's like I'm just so comfortable.

Me and Josh are so cozy.

It's true.

It's very fraternal.

Yeah, like we have a great time.

And if you haven't listened, you just don't get it.

Okay.

That's true.

You just don't get it.

We're so cozy.

It's so fun.

So, yeah, sometimes I'm recording at a home studio and I forget to put on shoes.

It's not intentional, but now I'm here at the Toast HQ.

Dressed to perfection.

Dressed to perfection.

Pants, sneakers.

Spritz merch.

Yes.

I don't know if people can see.

Spritzing down south.

Almost sold out.

Get it while you can.

One of my favorite things that you and your work husband, Josh, decided to do was to have your listeners be called morons.

I think that was like a joke that you started, but people really took it seriously.

The way that people come up to me and say, oh my God, I'm a toaster, I love the toast.

Literally, someone will come up to me and Ben, and I'm like, who is this man?

And they're like, I'm a moron.

And I'm like, excuse me?

Literally, the other day we were leaving corners to a restaurant, this guy comes up, hey, Ben, I'm a moron.

And I'm like, okay.

It's actually the funniest thing in practice.

I don't know if you thought it through that, like, people would come up to you and then identify themselves as a moron.

It is seriously top-tier comedy.

There was a mid-50s woman yesterday.

I was leaving the supermarket and she literally yelled down the street, I'm a huge moron and a toaster.

Like screamed it.

And you know, it just came from the fact that everybody takes themselves a little bit too seriously.

That's true.

We absolutely do not take ourselves seriously at all on the Good Guys podcast.

And we feel that we're all morons, moron included.

Now, in the spirit of that, because I'm being such a good wife now, like letting you promote your podcast.

Thank you so much, darling.

One of my favorite things that you do on your podcast is a what are you nuts moment where at the end of the episode you remark on something you saw this week that was nuts and and made you made you say to yourself what are you nuts what

I'm gonna put you on the spot because I didn't tell you I was gonna do this because I just thought of it tell me a what are you nuts moment from the last week that you want to share on the podcast okay honestly this morning no I have to no you can't because the other day the other day you saw something and you wrote it down okay and I thought it was so funny fine let me look it's actually um Ben takes what are you nuts really seriously like we'll be walking around or we're after dinner and he'll like start typing away on his phone I'm like what are you doing he's like what are you nuts moment just came to me yeah no it's important

i did tell this one you mean the one about uh

the the restaurant

the restaurant my friend met a girl at a restaurant yes okay

okay i told this

is funny and we didn't even talk about because this takes place at corner store yes which is this new restaurant in the city that i was raving about on the podcast and not like we went on friday right the following friday taylor swift was there like kill me and and also like now margo literally texts me to get her reservation well margo asked how do i get a reservation i said you could probably do it no by the way it's, I can't.

Really?

Yeah, they're slammed now.

We got in early.

Too early, maybe.

Too early.

I think maybe we can go back.

Oh, you can't get, you kids can't do like friends and family.

No, it seems difficult.

I tried.

I absolutely tried.

I did.

Okay.

So I told this what are you nuts on the Good Guys podcast, but for people that did not hear it.

It's actually so funny.

I, like the amazing husband, honestly, I don't get credit for this move that I am.

We heard about this restaurant corner store.

Claudia is a very particular person.

When she goes out to each, we need to make sure that it's great ambiance, great food.

Otherwise, she's not going to have a good time.

And by the way, that's.

No, but also, like, I had a lot of pressure for this particular evening because we were going out to dinner with the Taylors and Brian.

We haven't seen them all summer.

It was going to be like this big love fest.

So I needed like good cocktails, good ambiance.

I wanted it to be sceney.

So who knows more about like the landscape of New York City than Ben?

He's like a socialite.

Like, you're always networking, go to fabulous places.

I never leave the house.

So I put it on you.

I'm like, you go find the best restaurant for this Friday, Saturday night dinner.

Oh, Friday?

Saturday.

Saturday night dinner.

So you know what I did?

I went with my friends two days earlier to scout the location.

See, was the food good?

Was the vibe good?

Is this a good enough restaurant?

For, agreed, a very important dinner for the girl he's at.

The tailors, Brian, go to corner store, three of my friends.

Fantastic food.

Like, truly.

He's raving about it.

Unbelievable food.

I go to the bathroom.

My friend Gabe follows me to the bathroom.

He's behind me.

We're walking down the stairs.

All of a sudden, Gabe falls down the stairs.

I'm wondering what the staff is.

Gabe's at the bottom of the stairs.

And there's a girl behind him, and she goes up to him and is like, are you okay?

Like, you just fell down the stairs.

Yeah.

And even though he's probably like dying from internal bleeding, he's like, I'm fine.

Yeah, yeah.

It was nothing.

He's like a single handsome guy.

Yeah, like, I'm great.

There's a line for the bathroom.

There's single stalls.

The only thing maybe I could complain about.

About that.

Just saying.

I agree.

I agree.

Come on.

And they're talking.

They're hitting it off.

They exchange numbers.

They exchange numbers.

They're going to see each other again.

Three days later, this is now Sunday, or even Monday, four days later, Gabe gets a text from this girl.

And she says, hey, you at corner store?

Why the hell would he be at corner store?

What are you nuts?

Like, why would he be there?

He doesn't live at the restaurant.

It's weird to like text the guy that you met at a restaurant.

And say, are you still there?

He's not a waiter.

Like, why?

No, wait.

Maybe she thought he was a waiter.

No, he was wearing a suit.

Wait, that's like actually so funny.

Like, yeah, why would he be there again two days later?

Why would just because she was?

Hey, you at corner store?

No, I'm at home.

I don't live there.

what are you nuts that is such a good what are you nuts woman it's actually like loki a really weird thing for that girl to do so strange you here no no i'm not here hysterical what are you nuts no i'm not here do you have one oh um

i'm sure that i do and i'm sure it's about you because you're always being insane yeah

what has been done recently that is so crazy

Maybe like cooked you dinner or no, no, no.

Drove you places.

I'm feeling to do that a lot.

Told you I loved you.

A lot of crazy.

Oh, I will tell you.

I will tell you the funniest thing.

This is like three weeks ago, okay?

Me and Ben are supposed to be meeting somewhere.

I call him and I'm like, hello, where are you?

And he picks up the phone and I can tell he's in the car because he's like shouting

to the speaker.

He's like, hello, Claude, you're on speaker.

I'm in the car with Alex.

And I'm like, who?

And she's like, hi.

And I'm like, who the hell are you in the car with?

What whore?

It's in my car.

And Ben's like, yeah, it's Alex Cornishlli.

I'm like, what?

The famed food network chef, our queen, Alex Cornishlle.

And I had forgotten, like, I was like, because I didn't know where you were.

You were like, I never listen when you say where you're going.

You're like, going to work, you know?

Understood.

And he was like, I forgot he had been filming a video.

And it was like, we were this thing we were really excited about, Alex Cornishlle.

And like, not Alex Cornishlle casually being in the car.

What are you, nuts?

No, she needed a ride home.

Oh, yeah.

I'm the shivische.

And then I found a chivalrous ma'am.

And then I found it interesting, like, we were supposed to be somewhere.

You were late because you had to drive Alex Cornishlle home.

By the way.

And that's my beef with Alex Cornishlle.

I'm just saying I would do it again.

No, that was really generous but like beyond unnecessary was she carrying a lot of heavy things it doesn't matter it doesn't matter but like you made me she's a she's a queen and she agreed to platform me it's true it's true okay you know what she'd agreed to slum it with you know what this does for my celebrity chef

career no it was huge and it turned out she was super cool right amazing she'd honestly be a great podcast guest for you oh my god i have so many questions for her she's so fun yeah she's like kind of a part of like food network when i think about like the heyday of food network like she was on it and she's still like killing it she's been on food Network for 17 years.

It's like such a dream.

And she's done 600 episodes of chopped.

Oh my God, right.

Chopped is her thing.

Yeah.

Do you think she ever feels bad like being mean?

No.

Would you?

Yeah.

It would be a hilarious.

I don't think you would.

Would you?

You wouldn't feel bad.

No, I would like to be on chopped junior.

Got it.

So you could yell at some kids.

Yeah.

It's not enough just to like yell at grown adults.

You want to yell at the youth.

It's not fun to pick on someone your own size.

Yeah.

No.

No.

I would love to be oh that would be really fun

you should put it on your mood board for 2025 okay it's on my mood board i feel like you could get there it's on my manifestation board i could um if anybody worked hard it's so unfortunate that like we do have to get into the fast five no we don't have to you have anything else you want to chat about yeah like when is the sun gonna come back out like

new yorkers we've been missing sun for like three days that's a woody of nuts so funny i was on the podcast yesterday and the day before talking about how glorious it is i love it like every day i'm like working from home i'm doing my reading i'm watching gilmore girls i'm making beef stew i'm loving it it's funny i don't like i don't wake up it's not funny but like on these days and i'm telling you i know you're gonna be bored to sleep and then you're like okay let's do the fast five it's my eye color oh my god green eyes there's something different with the sun well that's true by the way it's not like it's not like something you just made up true yeah like people with lighter eyes experience things differently like when it comes to sunlight there you go so i just don't wake up if the sun doesn't come out i don't come out maybe i'm like a zombie maybe you should do cocaine okay like is that is that the move i know that's what celebrities do.

By the way, sure, okay.

And should we, another what are you nuts?

We're on GoPuff the other night looking for snacks.

There's fentanyl test strips.

Oh my God.

That was crazy.

We were like being really fat.

We were like, we need like a really good treat.

We ordered like chicken.

Literally, all I wanted was an ice cream sandwich and I'm met with a fentanyl test strip.

And you just reminded me, you know, I saw somebody smoking out of a crackpipe on my way to work yesterday.

There you go.

I meant to share that on the toast, but I completely forgot.

This city.

This city is kind of in disarray.

It's UN week, like literally police escorts down every avenue.

Every street is closed.

It's gridlocked.

It's insane.

Like, it makes me so mad.

Like, as if I didn't already detest the UN, you know, denying the rape of Israeli women, not acknowledging October 7th, like deeply problematic in its way.

But the way they personally offend me once a year, the UN being in New York City, like an already busy city, why?

Why isn't it on Roosevelt Island?

They could take Roosevelt.

Why isn't it in Idaho?

They have space.

I'll share that.

And also, it's an international organization.

Like, why America?

Leave us alone.

Go put it in Singapore.

Agreed.

Every country is represented.

Like, leave us the fuck alone.

Agreed.

Oh, my God.

Like, and you just know, like, these diplomats who think they're so important, they have like eight car police escorts.

If they walked into, if they dick slapped me, like, I would not even know who they are.

Nobody knows who a diplomat is.

Just put them in a station wagon.

Make them take a yellow cab.

Dick slapped.

Yeah, that was really crazy.

That was really crazy of me.

Sorry.

Yes.

Something came over me.

That is one of the grossest expressions I've ever heard.

I mean, you said P-U-S-S-Y like five minutes ago, and I didn't didn't call you out for it.

By the way, I say P-U-S-S-Y because you've indoctrinated me to say P-U-S-Y.

I grew up in a household where we did not say P-U-S-S-Y, and now our current household says P-U-S-Y.

So, if I'm going to say P-U-SS-Y, it's because of you.

In our household, do I say dick slapped?

No, but I just want to like respond to the allegations made against me really quickly.

I didn't grow up in a house that said P-U-S-SY as like a dirty word, and I've said this on the toast before.

Like, we grew up in a house of all girls, so like it was very like, you know,

body positive.

And when describing, we sometimes call it schmushki, we sometimes call it pussy, but like it wasn't disgusting, like pornographic.

It was sweet, like a little pussy.

Understood.

I'm just saying on my podcast, we don't even go near those words.

Well, of course, you're two men.

Good luck.

No, we don't even go to your penis.

Nothing.

Oh, please.

You guys say the craziest shit on your podcast.

No, we literally, we don't even say sex.

We say canoodle.

That's embarrassing.

You shouldn't like be proud of that.

We are.

We're a family-friendly show.

No, you're not.

That fat chains.

It's so true.

Okay.

We have to.

You are here to do a duty, and the stories are actually really good.

I know, but I'm having so much fun.

I know, but we can continue the fun.

Yeah, no, we can with the fast five stories.

Here are.

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

Oh, wait.

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning

toast.

Gotcha.

Man.

He didn't beat the crunch this time.

And you never will.

Today's episode is brought to you by State Farm.

Thank you to State Farm for supporting the toast today and a lot of days.

So we know that the toasters can agree.

Nothing feels better than a personal win.

Like when you get a final piece of furniture delivered and your apartment is finally complete, it truly feels like a home.

Maybe you hit a personal best in a workout.

You're running a 5K and you like kind of slammed the results.

Whatever it is that you define as a personal win, you know who's right there beside you at all times?

Jax and I, but also State Farm.

So with the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home and auto.

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So what's so great about State Farm is no matter what kind of galley you are, are you a Claude?

Like you live a very high-paced, fast life, and you love to be technology swirly and just like talk to your State Farm agent on their app or on their website, like you like to move fast like that.

State Farm has got you covered.

Are you a little bit slower?

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I tried to.

Okay, first up, the ongoing story of P.

Diddy, which has been like discussed here almost every day, things keep coming out.

Things keep getting crazier.

And his kids have actually released a statement, speaking about the quote, what they're calling conspiracy theories, especially especially as it relates to their mother Kim Porter who passed away a couple of years ago and of course like her death is now just being called into question because it is definitely suspicious given what's come out about PTA thus far so

Sean Diddy Combs' children broke their silence Tuesday following his sex crimes arrest earlier this month but the kids didn't mention the accusations against their father instead the combs kids put out a statement condemning horrific conspiracy theories swirling about their late mother Kim Porter the disgraced hip-hop mogul's ex so they said we've been we've seen so many hurtful and false rumors circulating about our parents Kim Porter and Sean Combs relationship, as well as about our mom's tragic passing, that we feel we need to speak out.

The kids wrote.

So it's Quincy Brown and Christian Jesse and Delilah Combs.

They all wrote in a joint statement on their Instagrams on Tuesday.

So Porter, who was a former model, dated...

P.

Diddy from 1994 until 2007 on and off.

They had a son, Christian, who's now 26, and twin daughters, Jesse and Delilah, who are now 17.

The children's statement comes after the publication of a typo-written memoir that claims to have been written by Kim Porter before her death in 2018 at age 47 as a result of labor pneumonia, low bar bar pneumonia.

So she allegedly died of pneumonia, but like this like 47 page memoir is like rumored to be coming out that she wrote in the days leading to her death.

It's all like very unverified, but the siblings have bashed the so-called memoir, which is a 59-page book, self-published on September 6th under a pseudonym by a self-described investigative journalist, and they are saying it is 100% fake.

Claims that our mom wrote a book are simply untrue.

She did not, and anyone claiming to have a manuscript is misrepresenting themselves.

They all posted this on Instagram.

Interesting that, and I think that it's totally valid to be like fiercely defensive of their mother, and very interesting that their statement didn't really say, like, our dad didn't do what he's being accused of.

They really focused on their mom, which is obviously like a good thing.

How old are they?

They are between like 17 and 26.

So, like, I'm.

And she wrote this, they claim that she wrote this book in 2007?

They claim she wrote it when she passed away in 2018.

Oh, in 2018.

Okay, so maybe they would know.

I was going to say, like, it's possible that, like, she wrote something and didn't tell her kids.

Yeah, of course.

They said, we ask that everyone please respect our mother, Kim Porter, and hold her legacy in high regard so that she may rest in peace.

It's what she deserves.

We love and miss you, mommy.

So the statement was actually really heartbreaking, like, just completely

focused on their mother, which I think speaks a lot about.

P.

Diddy, that like they released a statement and didn't even like want to defend and be like, he didn't do it.

What can they say?

I know.

There's nothing to say.

I feel like it's just the tip of the iceberg with P.

Diddy.

Like, I don't even want to know what's going to come out.

And, like, to me, it reminds me, obviously, a lot of Jeffrey Epstein, where this very powerful person.

And, and don't you feel like people like who aren't in Hollywood and they just like consume celebrity content, everybody feels like there are all these conspiracy theories always about Hollywood, how everyone's a pedophile and like things like this.

kind of make those conspiracy theories feel really valid.

And with the Jeffrey Epstein thing, it was the same thing.

Like every powerful person, politician, rich person is a pedophile and they go to pedophile island.

And you know what?

It was like making those conspiracy theories like look kind of true.

And we were all sort of excited for the Jeffrey Epstein thing because we're like, this trial is going to blow the lid on every powerful person, politician, businessman.

And then they buried it all.

And then they killed him, which was obviously suspicious.

And then they never, there was never like Ghillaine Maxwell was going to sing for her supper.

She was going to release the list.

That never happened.

No, never happened.

And now I'm feeling like we're all feeling the same way with P.

Diddy, right?

Everything's about.

We're going to know everybody in Hollywood, all the actors, filmmakers, musicians.

We're not.

We're not.

Something's going to happen.

They said that P.

Diddy's on Suicide Watch in prison.

Like, something's going to happen.

Like, it's just, it's giving Epstein all over again.

Wow.

It's fucked up.

It's fucked up.

That's a really brilliant analysis.

And all that I keep thinking about, maybe it's because of the alcohol of it all.

Where did Sirok go?

No, well, he, that's also what I was thinking about this morning.

Like, his

business portfolio was like beyond impressive.

Like, and of course, beyond impressive.

He's P.

Diddy, and you think music first, but I think that's like one 19th of

No, he is so rich, so he is so successful.

Yeah.

And built like incredible businesses.

But on what?

On the backs of like

sex slaves.

I know.

He's literally disgusting.

The hate I have.

It is surprising, though, that he's actually in jail.

Like, I don't know.

I feel like celebrities always get, and you know, they held him without bail.

So, like, he's literally like stuck there, obsessed.

And did I hear that the suicide claims might not be true?

Like, I had read something like he was suicidal.

What are you reading?

I don't know.

I thought that I read that he might not be suicidal, and somebody just said that.

I just released something.

I read the prison, like, put him on suicide watch.

And then didn't he come out with a statement saying that he wasn't suicidal?

His lawyer has like been releasing statements just like affirming that he's guilty and they're really looking forward to their day in court.

I'm sure you are.

Like nothing's going to happen, I'm telling you.

Oh, I'm excited about this deck story because we did our homework last night and we attempted to watch Ellen DeGeneres' new special, which I've been really excited about.

I think the concept of like going through a major scandal, going radio silent, and then doing a Netflix special as a comedian, a special being like, this is my last one.

I think it's a great way to maybe get back public favor, but also it's a great way to go out.

Like, I loved the whole concept.

I thought it was brilliant.

Me too.

And I thought the special would be good.

Me too.

We watched it last night.

Sneak.

It came out yesterday.

It was actually

unwatchable.

Like, it was actually not funny.

And we gave it 35 minutes.

Yeah.

Like, we didn't give it five minutes.

It was an hour and 10, and we were just like bulldozing through it.

It was so bad.

I looked at the clicker.

It was 35 minutes.

I said, we've done enough.

And in case you haven't seen it, the first 15 minutes, she's talking about a car.

Oh, my God.

It was like such bad stand-up jokes.

Ben thought that she was being bad on purpose.

But then she wasn't.

But then the next 15 minutes were about chickens.

And then she got into, oh, by the way, yeah, I was...

Canceled.

Canceled, but like, it's been 35 minutes.

She started talking about the cancellation at 18 minutes very lightly.

Like a touch.

And then she started talking about how she just bought chickens.

And I

tuned it.

I tuned in to find out like what her take on the situation was.

Is she claiming that she wasn't mean and she was just made into this villain because she's a woman?

Is she claiming that she was mean and she is reformed?

And we never even got there.

I don't even know what the message is.

Well, what I took away from it was,

one, that she thinks that she was totally bulldozed because she was a woman.

But she also is almost blaming like the network for putting her in charge.

Making her like a monster.

When she should never have been in charge.

She like made a comment that was like, Ronald McDonald isn't the CEO of McDonald's.

Right.

Implying that she is talent and she never should have had the ability to

like, yeah, to be a boss and to boss people around and that like her version of

that's a valid statement, but like good luck at the time putting a CEO like on top of Ellen, giving Ellen a boss.

I'm sure that was not even an option.

No, it's not that.

It's like if you actually felt that way, then tell somebody.

So the overall, this is what like being pitched to press.

Ellen DeGeneres says she's proud of who she's become after being labeled as mean in her toxic workplace scandal.

So her Netflix special is called For Your Approval.

And the former talk show host told an audience that she's proud of who she's become four years after she was labeled as mean and she she was accused of leading a toxic workplace.

Here's what she said.

When you're a public figure, you're open to everyone's interpretation.

I'm sure you've heard the saying that what other people think of me is none of my business because people will say all kinds of things and you have no control over that.

But you know the truth and that's what matters.

She acknowledged that her career in comedy forced her to care what people think.

As a way to gauge success, Ellen admitted that she's done focusing on what other people feel about her, especially after allowing the mean label to consume her.

Here's what she said.

If they like you, you're in.

And if they don't, you're out.

And I've spent an entire lifetime trying to make people happy and I've cared far too much about what other people think of of me.

So the thought of anyone thinking that I'm mean was devastating to me.

And it consumed me for a really long time.

And after a lifetime of caring, I just can't care anymore.

So I don't.

But if I'm being honest and I have a choice of people remembering me as someone who was mean or someone who was beloved,

and then she'd be like a stupid joke, I choose that.

Someone who's beloved.

The thing is, is when the special started, they did this like sort of montage, this timeline, and we weren't really socially conscious.

Like I wasn't watching the Ellen show as a kid.

It was, I wasn't old.

I wasn't alive.

So you really do forget forget like the magnitude of her impact as a woman in comedy, as like a gay woman.

And like I actually had like chills at the beginning.

I thought I was really amazing.

And I was so ready for her to like take her power back, give this bomb ass special.

I wouldn't have cared if she went up there and was like, yeah, I was mean.

Everybody can eat my ass.

Like I would have had more respect for her like saying either I was mean, too bad, or I wasn't mean and I'm like being

taken down for X, Y, and Z.

She didn't really say anything.

And even after reading this article, I don't understand what the point of the special was.

And it was such like a bold choice to make a special.

I feel like, what?

I think there are people who hate Ellen and there are people who are like Ellen and I don't think that she moved the needle for anybody.

I also just don't know why it wasn't funnier.

Like she, like, she's very, very funny.

I know.

So I don't know why she didn't just make it like true stand-up, like tell jokes, remind us how funny you are.

And then we don't really care if you're mean or not.

If you're so funny, you could just be hilarious.

The bit about the windshield wipers was like a personal low.

It was 16 minutes.

It was terrible.

It was terrible.

I was shocked.

And it was like, it was so lowbrow.

And the crowd was annoying.

It was the attempt at relatable humor.

The crowd was annoying because they definitely picked like...

They definitely gave tickets to like major, major super fans, which is good.

They wanted Ellen to be comfortable.

I totally get that.

Like, it makes sense.

They were clapping at everything.

They clapped for everything.

Like, she wasn't being funny.

She wasn't saying anything crazy.

She just, the first time she even brought up the fact that she was like a daytime talk show host, three minutes of clapping.

Like boring.

The special was too long because literally we had to wait for everyone to stop clapping and cheering.

The thing is, there are Ellen super fans and there are Ellen haters and this piece of content moved the needle for nobody because she didn't say anything.

When she started saying like, oh, I could say things as a woman boss, but not as a man, like, that's not what it was.

Okay, please.

That's not what it was.

That's not what she was being accused of.

Being like a little nasty, like, it wasn't that she was accused of being mean.

And she, I like how she, it was actually very smart for her to brand like her scandal as like being called mean.

She wasn't mean.

She was like literally the worst boss on the planet, like borderline abusive to people.

Like, please, that was very smart to rebrand.

Like, I was just being called mean.

Is it controversial to say, though, that like I don't care?

No, I don't care either.

I think, like, if you're funny, you're funny.

And I don't think it diminishes the fact that, like, her show brought joy to so many people.

They did, like, such good philanthropy on that show.

It was funny.

It was like, whatever.

Like, yeah, the woman behind the show, I don't, I wasn't a fan of Ellen.

I liked her show.

And the way she was.

But as a human being, I wasn't a fan of her, so I didn't give a fuck what she was like as a human being.

And the way that she was taken down, honestly, like, when I think about it, it is insane.

That's what she was.

Like, I went back on.

You know how many Instagram followers she has?

How many?

140 million.

I mean, there was a time when like the Ellen Show and like Ellen Tube and all their different brands and they gave little shows to Sophia Grace.

And apparently, kid, like it was a billion-dollar media empire.

And they took it down like that.

It was actually really crazy.

You know, it all started from one tweet.

Crazy.

Like

reply to this tweet with your craziest Ellen DeGeneres encounter.

And weirdly, like a million people in LA, like people who worked for her, people who served her at restaurants, everyone had crazy things.

Wow.

She must have been really fucking out of control.

She must have been mean.

Yeah.

She must have been been mean.

So I wish she just said that.

Yeah, like I'm mean.

Like, I wish she would have said, like, yeah, I'm fucking Ellen bitch.

Like, I was the first ex, wife, Z.

And you know what?

It got to my head.

I'm a human being.

Like, I think actually a lot of people, and she almost said that because she was saying how, like, her name was on every building in the lot that she filmed.

Like, how, and she was like, and she implied, like, how can I not have become a monster?

And I wish she just sort of leaned into that.

I think there's something relatable.

Like, yeah, I was kicked out of show business for saying I was gay on my show.

Not only did I come back, I came back as the biggest bitch on the planet.

Like, I was literally the biggest show.

I had everybody up my ass.

How could I not have become a diva?

Like I just think if she humanized it a little bit, like people maybe would have like, yeah, you tell me a regular Joe Shimo doesn't get the power that Ellen gets and they don't become an animal too.

She did though tell some crazy stories in those 30 minutes.

About what?

Like about how she would, she loved like playing pranks on celebrities when they come on her show.

Yeah.

That was her thing.

She would like scare people.

But she also like played pranks apparently on the people that worked for her.

Which is there was a woman that worked for her that was apparently petrified of snakes and she would ask somebody she asked like the building contractor to build

to hide snakes in the ceiling snakes okay but like you know it's like it's it's weird it's cruel it's cruel it's weird it was it was it was weird and if she's weird and if she's telling that story that means it's nothing that means in comparison to the other stories

so i don't know if it was funny All we'd be talking about is that it was funny.

It's so true.

But because it wasn't funny, now we have to talk about the fact that maybe she's mean.

I don't know.

You know, the thing about when you're a stand-up comedian, but then like you get to be a daytime talk show, she said she had writers, right?

So you get very comfortable not writing your own jokes.

And that does, that's not to say anything everyone.

Like Jimmy Fallon doesn't write his own jokes.

Like all these huge, huge, huge people who get huge for comedy end up in positions where they don't have to write any jokes.

Other people write jokes for them.

So I do wonder if she worked with writers for this show.

I'm sure she did because she had a lot writing on this.

This is like the last you'll ever hear from me.

And it was just not funny.

And there's kind of no excuse for that.

It was just long-winded.

It was was bad.

It was low.

Like,

to me, the windshield wipers, I keep breaking it up because it's reflective of how

elementary, like windshield wipe.

And so long.

Yeah, you guys.

So long.

We only watched 30 minutes.

So long.

Like, you can make...

elementary relatable jokes.

Like I don't know if you told them, I spoke about it on Good Guys that we went to Sebastian Maniscalco.

I did.

And his opener.

Did you talk about his opener?

I did.

I said it was the funniest thing about it.

His opener was a hoot.

And he told this joke about hotel room towels.

I said it on the podcast.

And it's just like it wasn't, yeah.

That's elementary.

You're talking about towels, but it's so funny and relatable and he told it in one minute.

And like the way his, like, his accents, his intonation, like physical comedy.

Like, there's a way to joke about windshield wipers and the fact that you can't turn them off in 30 seconds and make it relatable.

When you drag it to 16 minutes,

you've lost me.

So that's what's going on with Ellen.

A lot of hype for the special, and I think it really fell flat.

And so far, what I've seen is people agreeing.

And I think it's a mistake because I thought it was a really bold choice, a bold way to come back.

And it could have been great and it wasn't.

And now people honestly might remember her for not being that funny.

It's true.

And is that better than being remembered as being mean?

No.

No, it's not.

No, funny and mean is way better than not funny.

I am going to move on to the next story, which is about Dancing with the Stars, which is kind of having an amazing season.

I feel like they flopped for a while.

And now they're really coming back, making a lot of news.

And last night was the first elimination, and Anna Delvey was eliminated, which is not surprising if you saw the performance.

I don't think she she had like a ton of fans.

It's a combination of like, you need to get good scores, and then you also need to have your fans calling in for you.

Who's her fans?

Correct.

So I think her like actual skills were not great.

And then, of course, I don't think she had like big social media followings, like, you know, calling in to vote for her.

And apparently, her partner, Ezra, has revealed that last week after her first dance, which was met with a lot of criticism because it wasn't, you know, technically amazing, she cried in the bathroom.

So Anna Delvy's dancing with a star partner, Ezra Sosa, revealed that the fake heiress had a hard time dealing with the backlash over her general casting on the show.

In a TikTok video shared Monday, the dancer thanked fans for showing him support and so much love after the season.

He said, on my end, I was feeling so much positivity, but on my partner's end, she wasn't receiving the same.

I think the hardest part of my day was after our press line.

She was reading the comments, and then we couldn't find her.

They finally found her in the bathroom and she was crying.

Sosa said he had never seen Anna Delvy show so much emotion and it broke his heart.

As her partner, I just want to give her the best experience she could possibly have.

And knowing that that was not the case, it really did break my heart.

So Delvy, as we know, is the fake heiress.

She spent time in prison and then got cast on Dancing with the Stars.

Now, I

think it's like,

I think it's so crazy, like, that she can survive prison, but like a little social media backlash gets her.

And that's the crazy thing.

We're always talking about like when you're getting like canceled or whatever, you have to really experience it to know how fucking horrible it is.

Like it literally can be earth-shattering and it sounds better than it is.

Like, and this is somebody who literally went to prison, but was crying in the bathroom because of like comments on Instagram.

Is that crazy?

It is crazy.

It is crazy.

I am glad that she got sent home.

Like, I don't think Anna Delby should be famous.

I don't think she's a role model.

And I think that she's literally a criminal.

I was going to say, I just don't really understand the casting.

I know.

It's weird.

And it's like, do you mean it's all of them or just her?

I don't understand dancing with the stars in general anymore.

Like, it used to be like these fun, like, we get to watch stars dance.

And now it's like we get to watch these weird, irrelevant or.

No, I actually think like this season and like they've been getting a lot better.

So it used to be like, you know, people on their way out of hollywood like a you know kind of a last stop or like up-and-comers who maybe we hadn't heard of yet and i feel like this year they did a really good job like a lot of really relevant reality stars influencers actors athletes um danny amendola's on it oh i didn't know that yeah like i feel like this season is actually really good brooks nader who's like the current sports illustrated model they really have i think

done a good job of casting relevant people.

They always have people from The Bachelor.

So Joey, who is the most recent lead.

So then the Anna Delvey casting casting was probably so that we'd talk about it.

Like it wasn't for her.

No, and we are.

And we are.

But it's just like, I'm so over the Anna Delvey lore.

It's like, she literally stole.

Yeah, totally.

Not to be like such like a moral high ground person, but like, why are we putting this person on TV?

I don't know.

And I just find it interesting that, like, literally, I think Dancing with the Stars broke Anna Delvey.

Prison couldn't, but Dancing with the Stars did.

Yeah.

And I was like, would you rather?

Because obviously getting cast on Dancing with the Stars is a huge opportunity.

Like millions of people watch it.

But going home the first week week is so embarrassing.

And last night, not only did Annette Lee go home, but so did Tori Spelling.

And I think like getting kicked off the first week is like actually the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to a human being on the face of the earth.

Because to what you said, it means that you can't dance and you have no fans.

So like would you rather like get cast on dancing with the stars, but get sent home the first week or not get cast at all?

Not get cast at all.

I think so too.

Yeah.

Because then all that it proves to you is that you have no, you have no fans.

That's so true.

I don't want to know that I have no fans.

I'd rather live in La La Land and think that I have fans.

I would like actually cry.

Yeah.

Because it's fan vote, right?

It's both.

But like the fans can keep you in.

If you have an overwhelming amount of fans, you can stay on the show.

But if your dancing sucks, like eventually, you'll get far with your fans, but it won't take you all the way.

Week one.

Well, week one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They want people like engaging on social media, calling in, like, making waves.

So any, they always cast an influencer.

Charlie Demilio, I think, came in second.

Yeah.

So that means you have no fans and you can't dance.

Yeah.

Well, that's sad.

It's just sad.

Yeah.

That's sad.

I know.

We don't need that kind of sadness.

No, we don't.

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Our fourth story.

Okay, so the Kelseys are making a lot of news.

I don't know if you're hearing, but like Travis is like kind of like not playing his best football.

He talked about it on his podcast episode, just being like, listen, I got to do better.

Like he acknowledged that it's not, people were like calling for him to retire.

It was like really dramatic.

Maybe he's distracted.

Wow.

Okay.

So we were saying yesterday in the podcast, like, I love that people aren't blaming Taylor because that's like such low-hanging fruit, like woman-hating type shit.

And you just said that.

So

no, I'm not blaming her.

You literally brought up his podcast.

I apologize.

No, because I didn't say Taylor.

You jumped to it.

It's you.

I I was talking about his podcast.

You can't be a podcaster.

Like, I just, I just think, I guess maybe you can.

No, he is an FX show with Ryan Murphy coming out.

I feel like he's just

like, he hosts Amazon Prime.

Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

He has this podcast.

He's in a relationship.

It's a lot.

I said that yesterday: that it's a lot of opportunities being thrown.

He's in every commercial on the fucking planet.

And he's making so much more money for everything else than football.

So true.

And these hundred million dollar

podcast contract.

And you don't usually see athletes taking advantage advantage of these opportunities until they're done.

Yeah, like Tom Brady is now taking advantage of all of these opportunities now that he's retired, like his deal with Fox and like all this stuff.

And like, you know, he's one of the investors in Noble.

He's an investor in everything.

That's why it's so popular.

They've sponsored the show and we were saying like everyone's talking about Noble right now.

Doesn't it feel that way?

And that's because literally Tom Brady is like, you know, he's an investor in Hero Bread?

You're lying.

Wait, Tom Brady's kind of obsessed with us.

All of his brands sponsored our podcast.

Wait, I didn't know that.

Tom Brady is like a serial investor.

And he

puts his money to work and is known as

hell.

And when I think about it, though, I don't know another athlete that is doing irrelevant things while still playing to make money.

Is doing irrelevant things?

Yes.

Like it is not relevant to his on-the-field performance.

He's doing different things.

Yeah, doing different things.

Not irrelevant.

Like when I think of Stephan Curry, like what he's promoting is

basketball stuff.

Is basketball stuff.

Yeah.

No, like

Travis is doing State Farm, Pfizer, commercials, like a million brands, then also acting, then also hosting game shows.

Which are things that you do when you've retired.

Yeah, podcasts.

You can do commercials, and I even think the podcast is fine.

But like the hosting shows, it's distracting.

The acting is crazy.

It has to be distracting.

So they're making a lot of news, one, because of all.

What week is this?

Three weeks.

Three.

Like, everybody needs to calm down.

Everybody needs to calm down.

But he's making a lot of news because of the, you know, the poor performance, so to speak.

Yeah.

But also because he has this show coming out and his mom was on the red carpet answering a bunch of questions.

So his mom's making news because, you know, she gets asked about Taylor a lot.

And I think that she comes off rude a lot.

This is not the first time she was asked on a red carpet like about Taylor.

She was like, oh, it hasn't been that long and I really know her.

But she just is like this regular woman who wants to not be asked.

Do you know how nervous she probably is to say something wrong?

And so people are like, there's bad blood.

About the most famous person in the world.

Like, I don't, like, I don't wish to be Donna Kelsey being asked that question for one day of my life.

Like, what, what a hard job.

Because no matter what she says, even when she says, I don't want to answer that, it's, there's bad blood.

Right.

But God forbid she says something and Taylor's camp gets upset and it hurts the relationship.

Like, people shouldn't be asking somebody's mother about

their future daughter-in-law.

It just shouldn't happen.

Now she's making news in a positive way.

So Donna Kelsey is the sweetest response after a fan confuses her for Taylor Swift's mom, Andrea.

Now, if you've ever seen the two ladies side by side, I'm going to flip this.

They are literal twins, like blonde, Bob, Queens,

you know, moms.

And somebody on social media confused them.

So, Donna, who's obviously the mother of Travis, was recently confused for the singer's mom, Andrea, in a post on social media.

One of Swift's fan accounts shared a photo on Twitter of Andrea arriving at Arrowhead Stadium, sporting a pin that said, In my 87 era, which is obviously referencing Travis's

number.

And actor Mark Hamill replied to the account's photo, hashtag, I love Taylor Swift's mom.

Another user shared hashtag Donna Kelsey, this is the sweetest thing.

And despite the fan confusing her for Swift's mom, Donna, Donna responded, Love you too.

Oh,

literally, these two are twins.

And I think it makes sense why Travis and Taylor

got along so well.

They both love their moms so much, and their moms are actually like carbon copies of one another.

Who do you think your mom looks like?

Who's your celebrity doppelganger?

Hmm.

That's a good question.

Probably

Marilyn Monroe.

Facts.

Yeah, that's what I'd say.

1,000%.

That's what I'd say.

I'd say the same.

Yeah, me too.

Who's your dad get told he looks like?

Because he literally is twins with Margaret Joseph's husband, Joe Bedigno.

Like, I literally can't even look at Joe Bedigno when I see him because I'm like, oh my God, you are my father-in-law.

He looks like a lot of people.

Like, I think that he looks like a larger, recently deceased Richard Lewis.

Not the larger.

Richard Lewis is one pound.

Your dad is going to, your dad listens to everything you do.

Like, he's going to listen to this this episode.

It's Philly's are gonna be here.

I apologize.

He's larger than Richard Lewis.

Wow, I'm telling Bruce.

Okay, you tell him that he's larger than Richard Lewis.

He also looks like.

Who did we say that he looked like recently?

What?

Oh, we were watching something.

Oh, fuck.

What were we recently watching?

Gilmore Girls?

No.

He doesn't look like anybody in Gilmore Girls.

No, no, but we said that guy looks like your dad.

We're watching Desperate Housewives.

Desperate Housewives is what we were watching, right?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Carlos?

No, definitely not Carlos.

Carl?

No, but any handsome man with thick frame glasses and just lush.

Lush.

Lush.

That's true.

Wow, I can't believe you called Bruce Hatt.

No, I called him, quote, bigger than Richard Lewis.

Richard Lewis died at 70 pounds.

He's the skinniest man I've ever seen.

I'm just mean.

And rest in peace.

Your words have meaning.

What?

Like, just...

A visionary.

Your words have meaning.

A comedic genius.

And I bet your dad is listening to this sobbing.

I'm sure he's not.

Bruce, I think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful.

And larger than Richard Lewis.

Two things can be the same.

Yes, words can.

Bring me heat down.

This is Bruce's anthem.

Oh, no.

So don't you bring me down

today.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am, but I'm sad because that means that the show is almost over.

Oh, and that means you're going to leave me like you always do.

Literally, you're leaving me.

I'm sitting here.

To go to work.

Where the hell are you going?

And, you know, we we haven't done this in a while, but because we're recording in person together, I think we should sing the

fifth story song.

Sure.

It's the final story.

And that's a magic number.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Big news.

Central Perk couch from The Friends Set has sold for $30,000.

They did an auction to celebrate the series' anniversary.

And one of the big ticket items on the 30th anniversary auction included Ross Geller's Geller Cup trophy.

That sold for more than $9,000.

So on September 23rd, Warner Brothers, if I knew that this was happening, like I might have bid on something.

It's probably better than that.

Thank God you didn't know.

You're talking about junk that I buy.

Wait, you want to die?

What?

So the couch sold for over $30,000.

No, not over.

$29,000.

Read some of the other items.

$250 weight.

It's a replica.

What?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a replica.

I'm including a replica of Central Perk's iconic orange couch.

By the way, you literally could just go to a couch maker and ask him to make you an orange.

Like, show him a picture.

It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

I'm in shock.

I was about to say that, like, that's like...

It's like a waste of money for a smelly old couch, but at least it would have been the real couch.

Nearly 15 times its original estimate of $2,000.

That's how much a couch costs.

It's like an ugly little couch.

Is this for charity?

It doesn't say, which i find weird to

charity the one with the 30-year anniversary auction that's what the auction was called they sold 110 pieces of memorabilia many of them for well over their anticipated sale price i'm sure it was for charity and i'm sorry i'm on to these charities it doesn't say anything about charity which is so weird it definitely was hold on

let me know when you're ready for my groundbreaking

thought

i just want to know it doesn't say anything about charity in this article.

That's really crazy.

It has to be for charity.

They're not doing this for profit.

So let me tell you what else sold before you tell me your crazy thought, okay?

Okay.

The Geller Cup, which is the trophy from season three, sold for $9,100, which is 30 times the estimate of $300.

Is it a replica or are these a real things?

I feel like this one, it doesn't say replica.

I feel like that would be the real one.

Okay, because I don't care how much it costs to make it.

Right.

If it has the value of being Ross's cup.

Yeah.

But if it's a replica, then this is a different story.

Monica Geller's striped brown season nine shirt, one of the many clothing items worn by the cast, sold for $2,200.

A blue cashmere sweater worn by Chandler, sold for $6,500.

Rachel, Jennifer Addison sweater from the episode, The One with the Truth About London, sold for $6,500.

That's really crazy.

Ross's apartment dresser.

Just like, that's not even like a important thing.

It's just in the apartment.

$10,000.

Ew, what the hell?

Props like the warning bulletin with a police sketch of Joey sold for $520.

That to me is more iconic.

Ross is dresser.

Who gives a fuck?

That's really crazy.

I mean, what are you going to share?

So is this, we think that this is charity.

I just want to say it does not say charity, so I'm not going to assume it's charity.

Okay, so if it's not charity, then somebody's having financial issues, that they're doing like a yard sale.

Yeah, it's and like taking all this money.

It's lowbrow.

It's a little weird.

But if it is charity, I'm on to these people.

They're going in and they're paying $30,000 for a replica, okay?

And then they're writing it off.

Yeah, yeah, that's more likely what it is if it's for charity.

But isn't it crazy?

Yeah.

Just like now, you just get like a nice

write-off against your taxes.

Well, it encourages people to do philanthropy.

I guess.

Would you say you're a particularly philanthropic person?

No, because your wife does everything for you and I'm always the one doing it.

No, I actually think that I'm an incredibly philanthropic person.

What was the last cause you donated to?

I donated to.

Oh, literally last week.

Last week?

Yeah, when have you?

When was the last cause you donated to?

I literally.

Mine was last week.

I literally donate like on a weekly basis to different causes, mostly like Jewish ones.

Was it last week?

No, it wasn't last week.

Last week when we launched Lemon Iced Tea by Craig Connover.

Oh, yeah, you did.

We donated.

You got me here.

We don't have your company.

We donated a portion of all merch sales, like this Spritz Society Spritzing Down South sweatshirt to Hope for the Warriors,

which is a lovely charity that Craig

works with, and it's all about the veterans.

And I had an opportunity to go and meet some of these veterans at a golf tournament in August.

And all I have to say is support Hope for the Warriors.

Yeah, okay, you got me there.

Although, like, your company did that.

I mean, like, you write a check from your personal account.

I think it was Gift of Life.

I don't remember when it was.

Gift of Life?

When?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Like a year ago or something.

Interesting.

I do my best.

Interesting.

I also help, like, in real life, you know, like I see an old lady, she needs to be crossed.

I cross her.

Yeah.

I see a dog in need.

I help him.

Yeah.

I see trash on the floor.

I film it on Instagram.

And complain about the mayor.

Podcasting with you has been nothing short of a dream.

It has been stupendous.

You are an absolute star.

Thank you for having me, darling.

Thank you for stepping up when we needed you most.

Anytime.

You guys, thank you so much.

We're back with Jackson Roar.

Don't worry.

So thank you so much for listening to the testimony.

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We are.

Well done.

Love you.

Bye.