Shakespeare, Roosevelt and The Rizzler: Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Every idea starts with a problem.

Warby Parker's was simple.

Glasses are too expensive.

So, they set out to change that.

By designing glasses in-house and selling directly to customers, they're able to offer prescription eyewear that's expertly crafted and unexpectedly affordable.

Warby Parker glasses are made from premium materials like impact-resistant polycarbonate and custom acetate, and they start at just $95, including prescription lenses.

Get glasses made from the good stuff.

Stop by a Warby Parker store near you.

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dalliance with a duke or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Mas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander.

And of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com/slash wondery.

That's audible.com/slash wondery.

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday.

Speaking of the one I love to choose, it's Jacqueline Folet.

Hello, Jacqueline.

How are you today?

Hi, Turtleoo.

That's actually so nice because if you listen to yesterday's episode and then go right into today's episode, we like kind of leave off on a fight.

And then to know that today I'm the one that you choose, not that you really have a choice, but let's just go with it.

It's beautiful.

It's giving sisters.

It's giving sisterly things.

That clip from our little fight yesterday had me seriously in tears.

Do you feel this call?

Isn't it so crazy that we are sisters?

Because we're so many things to each other, right?

We are business partners.

I would say that we're we're like kind of best friends, but we also like our family.

Yeah, it is crazy to think about.

And I'm sure there is one person out there right now, at least one who did not know that we were sisters until this very moment.

Claudia and I are sisters, same mom, same dad.

Blood.

100% sisters.

And it's

very wonderful.

100%.

What percent?

100%.

No.

100%.

And there might be one person out there listening that doesn't know I released two amazing songs, both sort of anthems of this brand and this show.

One is called Toast and one is called 100%.

You can stream them wherever you stream your music and just add to my billions of downloads, you know?

And there might be one person out there listening who doesn't know that I wrote a children's book last year.

And I've actually been having a renaissance with The Camper and the Counselor because before it came out, I read it to Harry 10 times a day.

It was his favorite book.

And then like like all things with kids, like we moved on, but it's coming back into the fold.

I read it yesterday, like start to finish.

Like it's so, so good.

And if you're looking for a children's book for your little one that rhymes, that has a really good message, great pictures.

The Camper and the Counselor by Jax.

I feel like there might be one person out there that doesn't know that I also wrote a book, not for children, for adults.

It's a memoir of sorts.

It's, it's kind of a memoirs of a turtle.

It's memoirs of a turtle.

It's called Girl with No Job, The Crazy, Beautiful Life of an Instagram Third Smonster.

And it just tells my story of how I got to be where I'm at.

Fun celebrity tidbits, you know, girl boss things.

I think that you'll really enjoy it.

A lot of people did.

I made the New York Times bestsellers list, so you can get it anywhere you get your books if you're interested.

I actually think that there might be one or more people out there who don't know how we got started doing this podcast.

And I'm saying that in earnest, and probably that's like a question.

How'd you start the podcast?

What made you start it?

That's all in Claudia's book.

Like it is covered.

So if you've been curious about the genesis of Latoast, I don't even pay her to say that, you guys.

Yeah, no, but I feel like that's a logical question if people stumble upon this podcast.

Like, how?

What kind of business y'all in?

What kind of business y'all in?

That was so funny.

Claudia and I were in a meeting.

We were.

We were in a meeting like a week or two ago and we were telling somebody.

Telling Zoom or IRL?

Zoom.

We were telling some of them.

Wait, if I tell you the story, you'll probably remember what I'm about to say.

We were telling some of them how like we're really in like hustling season and like we're really like crushing it and like we're just working really hard.

And it's like what we said and we carried on with the conversation.

And then she was like, so when you say we're hustling, like what are we huss?

What is what are we hustling?

And we're like, yeah, no, that was really giving.

It's just like a mindset.

It's a mindset.

We invented post-its.

We did.

We invented podcasting for the girls, that's for sure.

Yeah, amongst, we're amongst the pioneers.

But you know, Heather McDonald, she makes it hard to say we invented it.

So true.

We literally didn't.

Yeah, no, she was here.

We were historical because of her.

So true.

She's getting in the way of us making her story.

We also, low-key, haven't even been nearly as annoying as we could have been because tomorrow we're announcing something really fun.

We've sort of been teasing it.

If you've been paying attention, you might know.

But if you.

We've really not been teasing it.

We've been lightly alluding.

All that to say.

Announcement Wednesday.

Just get ready for Friday.

The announcement tomorrow will get you ready for Friday, if that makes sense.

I guess it does make sense.

It sounds annoying, but classic us.

Yeah, no, we haven't been annoying.

Like, I said

classic podcasting influencer content creator.

Like, get ready for Wednesday because something's coming on Friday that you'll be able to do next week.

The pre-Vast Vibe banter this morning, thus far, has been extremely self-promotional, just taking note of the content.

I understand that.

I feel like it had a a comedic flair, so it wasn't all bad.

It had a comedic flair for sure.

And I feel like there might be one person out there that doesn't know that we run a Patreon.

I mean, where you beat you.

We beat you guys over the head with it.

So, like, I don't know how you wouldn't, but yes, there might be one person.

Where you get more content from your girls.

That's all I'll say.

Yeah.

Now we can talk about

promoting other people, which is what we do all day long.

So true.

It's exhausting sort of being this machine.

So who do you want to promote?

Probably myself.

You know?

What did yourself do?

Oh, I laid in bed and rotted watching Gilmore Girls yesterday.

I also made a beef stew.

And

did you, though?

Did you?

Jackie has this beef stew recipe.

Now, I feel like there might be one person in the world who doesn't know the history of beef stew on this show.

There was like a time period where Jackie was obsessed with making beef stew.

I think she was breastfeeding and she like found it to be good for her supply.

So she, not only was she making beef stew a lot, she she was like talking about it a lot.

And I was just at this place in my life where like I could not receive the chatter about beef stew.

I was being like really negative about it, really toxic.

Like every time she talked about it on the toast, I rolled my eyes and like did everything I could to change the subject.

And then lo and behold, a couple of months later, Jackie and I were on vacation together in the mountains.

It was very, you know, stewy vibes.

And she was like, let me make the stew.

And again, I was just railing on her.

We actually vlogged the whole experience on our Patreon.

And I finally had the stew that she had talked about like probably for a year.

And it was unbelievably delicious.

And I, of course, like had foot in my mouth.

Yeah, it was great.

Okay, another thing I was wrong about.

So, yesterday, as of yesterday, it is so fall.

It's it's so chilly in New York.

It's amazing.

It's been kind of cloudy.

So, yesterday I was like, all right, I'm whipping out my crock pot, my first crock pot of the season.

What should I make?

And I'm like, well, you know, let's do the beef stew.

How different can it be?

Jackie makes it on the stove.

I make it in the crock pot, but like, whatever.

And I just like didn't follow any of Jackie's rules.

I just threw everything on the ingredient list in the crock pot at once, put it on like high, and thought in four hours it would be ready.

It was disgusting.

Ben at like six o'clock was like, listen, we're going to have to eat at eight.

He took it off the crock pot, put it on the stove, and just like did like his cheffy thing, like added a bunch of seasonings, more tomato paste, a couple of, you know, cups of red wine.

And at eight o'clock, we ate.

It needed like four more hours.

It was fine.

It was fine.

I'm curious, though, you did sear the meat, so you followed that step, but like, I'm curious, because we couldn't figure it out amongst ourselves.

Maybe people will let us know, like, why didn't that work in the crock pot?

Isn't that what a crock pot's for?

Or is crock pot not for soupy sales?

Like, if you can't make a stew in the crock pot, like, what the hell is this appliance for?

I do think, like, me starting at two o'clock and hoping to eat at six or seven, I think I was thinking, you know, too small.

I think it needs to be in at like 8 a.m.

And then by dinner time, it's ready.

Like, it's really a slow cooker.

Not four hours is not slow.

Yeah, even on high.

Right.

Okay, so maybe that was the issue.

You just didn't leave it long enough.

But I saw what was like in your crock pot, and that was just not my dish.

Oh my God, it's not my plate.

It looked like something they serve in prison.

Like clear brown liquid.

I was going to say like Game of Thrones, like, you know, go to the ale house.

Yeah, yeah.

This is the like barley you get.

You're traveling like from King's Landing to Westeros.

To the north.

Yeah.

And you're just like forlorn and you find this, yeah, a thousand percent this pub.

You need a cup of a cup of ale.

How did it taste-ish?

Bad.

Bad.

Like it was eatable.

eatable

there's a word for that edible i was able to eat it

not in like like i wasn't enjoying it but i was so hungry that um i just was like eating the meat for sustenance like i needed the iron like i needed the protein to bring me back to life i was like in a faint dinner just like kept getting pushed back and kept getting pushed back and i was so hungry dinner has been canceled due to lack of crock pot awareness literally now i had wanted to make chili in the crock pot but now i'm just kind of nervous nervous.

So I do have a crock pot chili recipe.

It does require four hours in the...

So it appears as though I can't just take like pre-existing recipes that aren't for the crock pot and just like put them in the crock pot.

But like you can.

That's the point.

I interchange my chili between the stove and the crock pot.

It really makes no difference.

That's what I'm saying.

That's why we need like a lot of you guys are crock pot experts unless you use a liner which is don't sound off but um can someone write in the comments like where we went wrong here?

Yeah, i'm so and like i knew something was off because i went to take the trash out like hours into this excursion and when i came back in i was like ready i'm like oh i'm gonna smell it like oh yeah i didn't smell anything was your crock pot on

honestly yes it was because i saw the condensation on the lid and the buttons were lighting up and it said power like it was on it said power it said power You need to get a book of crock pot recipes.

Yeah.

Even though that reminds me of like the one part that I read about Long Island Compromise, like in the beginning when she's like cooking in her microwave with from a recipe book of like recipes to cook in your microwave and it's the book is made by the microwave manufacturer.

Oh, so I saw, I think you texted me that you were gonna give Long Island Compromise another go.

So here's what.

I have to start the Redheads book.

So Long Island Compromise is being shelved.

When I finish the Redheads book, like there's a chance I'll pick LIC back up just because I've I've made headway.

But what I'm realizing is like this is my worst year for reading since before I learned how to read, same which was in 2019 um I thank God for the redheads because it makes me read a book a month I would have read seriously three books this year max however sometimes I pick up a book and like I want to keep reading it I find free time to read it because it's so good and now I need to realize like if a book isn't making me feel that I need to move on because I don't have all the time in the world.

And if

I'm not feeling motivated to read, like I'm not going to read.

So I really need to be more selective in what I'm reading because there's just not as much reading time.

I too am on track for the worst reading year of my life.

And I feel like that's sort of the sentiment in the country.

I don't think it's just us.

I think it's a nationwide thing.

I think literacy levels are down.

Sound off in the comments.

Like, is this also your worst reading year yet?

If you're like a reader who reads like a lot of books every year, I mean, last year, I think I was pushing like 70 books.

I'm not even at 15.

Interesting.

I wonder what it is.

Because for me, I know it's just like lifestyle and I've just gotten like really busy and that's something that has slipped through the cracks.

But maybe it's also the quality of books.

I feel like the last few years have been like booming for the book business and like the girly swirly writers who like write the hits, like they've been churning them out.

And like maybe what they're churning right now isn't the best and it's not motivating people to keep reading.

Maybe that's just a theory.

That's just a theory.

Here's my theory.

If what you're saying is true, that this is a universal slump in reading.

We'll find out, but here's my theory.

I like that theory, though.

It might be better than mine.

My theory is that like when you become a girly swirly reader, like there are so many books that you have to read, right?

And the girlies who came before you did the work for you so you really know like the great hits that you have to do like of course seven husbands

and i feel like after a certain amount of time like you did them all

yeah i agree with that but i hit that wall a while ago and it just made me work harder to find books and also by then i knew what i liked best and i So I was able to like go down like historical fiction rabbit hole and like this is where I leave you.

Like now choose your path.

You want to read more smut.

You want to read more historical fiction, nonfiction.

But that definitely is true.

And that is something that every girly swirly reader has to overcome at some point.

Like, I've read the hits.

Where do I go from here?

Right, right.

And then you kind of read like the tier two four-star hits.

The tier two four-star hits.

Yeah.

And then you have to start like doing your own sourcing, which can be hard.

But for me, it's not, it's aside from Long Island Compromise.

It's not a lack of choices.

It's just a lack of time at the moment for me.

For me, it's not even a lack of time.

It's like a genuine lack of interest.

I don't know.

I just like, I can't pick up the Kindle.

There's so many other things I'd rather do.

I know.

So that's what I'm dealing with.

It's okay.

Everything, it's all a phase.

That's what I say about everything.

It's just a phase.

It's another like gloomy day here, very chilly vibes.

So I'm feeling really grateful.

Like I got to work today and I wasn't sweating for like the first time in a couple of weeks.

So it's really, it's a good time.

That's so nice.

I'm like.

living in a simulation where I simulate in my home like the kind of weather and the vibes that I want.

Soon I'm going to have to put up like projectors outside my windows so that I can have like snow falling.

Yep.

So there are days like yesterday I had to like hit the road right after the toast.

So I have to dress for my climate, which is unfortunate.

But like today is a home day for me.

So like, yeah, it's super cozy.

chilly here too.

Listen, create the seasons you wish to see in the world.

Yeah, like I'll just crank down the AC.

I got my coil.

So we're good to update it as someone having you decided not to replace the unit.

Replace the whole unit.

I replace the coil.

It seems to be working in the coil coil be coilin'.

What?

Coil be coilin'?

Coil be coilin'.

You know, the risk is that it craps out soon, and I do have to replace the machine, but for now it's good.

And when you do come down to visit me, like you shall have AC.

Oh, in my bedroom.

Because fun fact, the last couple of times I've stayed at Jackie's house, like the AC in my bedroom.

Just, it's like, that's not a service that the wine reps provide for me anymore.

In that bedroom.

Yeah.

But now you do have AC in your

turdie's quarters.

In her own little corner, in her own little room, she can be whoever she wants to be.

What else?

I didn't really get a temperature from the comments yesterday if people liked when you teased the stories at the beginning.

I personally liked it.

I saw one person say that they liked it because I think a lot of people do look in the notes about what the stories are.

So it's nice to hear a little preview.

Okay, so tell us a little bit about what's going on in the world.

Here's a little bit about what's going on.

It's going to be hard to really jazz this up.

Major fashion show news.

Major sports theories and news.

Sports theories and news?

Sports theories and news.

Okay.

I'll leave you at that.

You're going to have to keep listening to find out.

Stay tuned for more.

Casting news.

Parenting.

Celeb parenting news.

Mm-hmm.

And a little music news.

Okay, vague.

I don't even know one story that you're referring to.

So that's good.

Now you want to keep listening.

What is she talking about?

Do a little dance.

Make a little nerve.

Get down tonight.

Never going to give you up.

Never going to give you down.

Exactly.

I guess now we could get into the stories that are incredibly vague.

I guess.

I guess.

Have you seen the conspiracy theory on the interwebs that John Malini got a chin implant?

I saw the theory.

However, what about it is conspiracy?

Right, right.

Because, you know, when I saw him live performing in the Hamptons, I don't know if I mentioned that.

I saw him live at the Hamptons this summer.

I thought, I'm like, damn, he had a glow-up.

Like, he grew his hair out and he looked like really strong.

And I actually could not put my finger on exactly what it was that looked different about him.

And this conspiracy theory that started on Twitter, one, you know, eagle-eyed viewer pointed out, that was exactly what it was.

Like, I couldn't figure out the difference, but it was the very square-like-shaped jawline.

Now, there's a little bit of, you know, debate over whether it's filler in the the jaw or an actual chin implant, but I'm glad we're talking about this.

Yeah.

It definitely looks like a new chin.

And it looks really good.

Like normalize getting a new chin.

I did it.

You didn't do it.

We did a different.

He wanted a bigger chin.

I wanted a smaller chin, so I got liposuction in my neck.

But yeah,

we both didn't like our chins.

Yeah, but like what he did, like a chin implant like puts your little thing to shame.

Yeah, no, mine mine was just like a little outpatient needle in my neck, you know, not a big deal.

Classic.

It's just another Wednesday.

Yeah, just, you know, contributing to the toxic beauty standard for women.

I literally am symbolic of the unrealistic standard for women when it comes to beauty.

Like between my skin, my jawline, like my hair, my hair.

I know I'm a part of the problem.

And I'm sorry to all the women listening.

But at least you're honest about what you do.

That's, I think, the solution.

I guess, but in an actual serious sense, because what I just said was a joke, I like, and maybe it's just because I'm secure and like I'm not able to be influenced by people on the internet or celebrities.

Like I don't, do not compare myself ever.

I do not feel that like female celebrities are required to share their cosmetic procedures.

Like if you want to share, cool.

I definitely find that interesting.

But I don't feel like you have to tell us what you've done.

You don't.

Like you can keep that to yourself.

Yeah.

I mean, if it's.

If it's effective, like we'll see.

Yeah.

And if you like look at a woman, like, let's say Kim Kardashian and you're like, why don't I look like that?

And you're not able to like critically think that like she probably had work done on her face and body like like you probably should stay off the internet because it's important to have that sort of literacy i really believe that and i don't think it's incumbent on other people to share with us like what they did yeah but i know i'm unique in that

um

i don't know if you're unique in that it just is not the prevailing sentiment you know but it's like what does everyone actually think right right

It's important that we protect our peace on the internet and like think critically and think for ourselves, you know?

Yeah, that's a good lesson, period.

Yeah.

Like,

like Liv Schmidt.

Yeah, perfect example from Liv Schmidt.

Yeah.

Any updates on Liv Schmidt gate?

No, she's been silenced, so we haven't heard from her.

Either I do think she started another account like quickly after being banned.

So if you're like desperate for her content, I do believe there is somewhere to find it.

But it's not taken off.

Got it.

Okay.

She's like waiting.

She appealed the ban, you know.

The judicial system.

The TikTok judicial system.

Yeah.

Now that's justice.

Big time.

Big Justice and AJ.

Big Justice.

I feel like Big Justice and AJ are like really having a moment of like global virality.

When I feel like when I met them, yes, on Patreon, I did a Costco shopping haul and I ran into Big Justice and AJ.

Like that.

is a big deal.

I feel like they were having more like regional virality and like overnight it just exploded.

Maybe from my favorite thing.

I wouldn't say they were having regional virality.

I would say they were having like platform specific virality.

Like if you had TikTok and you happened to be on the side of TikTok where like people do hauls from Costco, you knew them.

Now, if like you're an internet user, you know, Big Justice and HA.

I agree.

They are definitely having a moment.

And I'm so happy to have discovered them, honestly.

I invented them in this family and I don't want anyone like I literally sent them a video, sent Olivia a video

so long ago.

And I was like, by the way, this is literally your future son and your husband.

Like this is them.

And she thought it was so funny.

And like I invented them.

And I just want to go on record saying, because I know everyone's going to try and steal and take the credit away from me.

No, I not me.

You won't hear peep from me because I didn't really know them till the day that I met them.

And it was a wonderful day.

And if I had a quarter for every time someone in my house said we bring the boom, like, I seriously could buy a whole Costco.

It is insane.

Yesterday, I was helping Ben.

He's filming an ad, and it was for food.

And I literally was like, you are Big Justice right now.

Like, you're being so Big Justice.

And Big Justice is a dad, right?

Yeah, and AJ is a son.

And then they have like ancillary characters, like people they collab with.

Do you know the Rizzler?

I thought The Rizzler was a snack.

The Rizzler is not a snack.

The Rizzler is a human being, a little kid who is so funny.

I think he's from New York.

So they like travel to each other a lot and they like film podcasts and lives.

The Rizzler is like three feet tall.

He is so funny.

The Rizzler.

I thought it was like the chicken bake, the Rizzler.

No, no.

The double chunk chocolate cookie.

That's like Big Justice loves the double chunk chocolate cookie from Costco.

That's his thing.

And then AJ loves the chicken bake.

Right.

Okay.

And the Rizzler is a human being.

And the Rizzler is a human being.

Okay, cool.

I got to keep up.

I really do think they exploded since they released their song.

I think that was really the tipping point.

I want to say kind of like you when you release toast.

Literally, not to like bring it full circle, but for sure.

I don't know who's managing them.

Like I actually think they manage themselves.

Like they're super organic because, but every like step they take in their career is brilliant, beyond brilliant.

Like releasing releasing a song, genius.

The song itself,

Oscar Grammy.

We bring the boom.

That's what we do.

We bring the boom.

We bring the boom to you.

We bring the boom, your favorite father and son.

Pargy.

Obsessed.

Pargy.

Okay, now without further ado and without further boom, it is time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by SmartMouth, the only mouthwash scientifically proven to eliminate and prevent bad breath for 24 hours with just two rinses a day.

SmartMouth prevents bad breath 12 times longer than the leading brand.

Their unique dual chamber bottles keep their two powerful solutions separate until you're ready to rinse.

When you pour the two solutions into the cup, you're activating the Smart to Zinc technology.

The zinc ion activation is the key to eliminating and preventing sulfur gas, which is bad breath, and the secret to all-day fresh breath.

SmartMouth was developed by a scientist, I'm excuse me, a dentist, so it can be trusted.

And I just want to say I'm a very breath conscious person.

Like other people's breath, I can't, my own breath, like I live in constant fear that people are thinking I have bad breath.

So taking the like the necessary steps and precautions to preventing bad breath is so important.

And I love SmartMouth.

I love the science behind SmartMouth.

I love that I can give it to my husband and know that it's effective.

My husband eats like a lot of really fragrant foods.

So it's important that we stay on top of it.

He like is, he calls me like the breath police.

Like I'm so breath conscious.

Not even just for other people, myself as well.

So I love SmartMouth.

Don't miss out on 24-hour fresh breath.

And by the way, 24-hour fresh breath, like that is, because I think sometimes you'll like do a mouthwash or like chew a piece of gum and it helps for actually 45 seconds.

So I love the concept of 24-hour fresh breath.

Don't miss out.

You can find SmartMouth at CVS, Walgreens, or Walmart, or you can visit smartmouth.com slash toast to snag a special discount on your next SmartMouth purchase.

That's www.s-M-A-R-T-M-O-U-T-H.com slash toast.

Your mouth will thank you.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Skims.

You know, Jackie and I come to you as humble women, as humble women who need to wear bras.

We're not just these girls who can like throw on a sweater without a bra and all the power to girls like that.

I love you.

I admire you.

I am jealous of you.

But we are real women.

You know, Jackie's birthed and fed two children with those breasts.

I have lost and gained almost 70 pounds with these breasts.

Like these are breasts.

You know what I mean?

So when it comes to bras, we take it seriously and we need the best.

And in our opinion, the best is Skims.

I will never stop telling the story about how I was having the worst back problems.

Like a year ago, I went to physical therapy.

Everybody knows the story about the time I accidentally took off my pants at physical therapy.

And it turns out I just needed a new bra.

I got the Skims t-shirt bra, and I promise you, my back problems were gone.

It was the craziest thing.

It was such a cheaper alternative.

So the, it's that Fits Everybody t-shirt bra from Skims.

It is the best bra I've ever owned.

They make my boobs look amazing.

It makes my back feel so much better and they really keep the natural shape, which I like.

So it's nice to have a bra that doesn't have padding on padding either.

I don't, I don't need that.

I've worn it on, you know, crazy days, busy days, active days, lazy days.

It's comfortable.

It's supportive.

It's the best.

So Skims has a lot of great bras.

I also love what Ben calls my relaxation bras.

It's like their cotton jersey bras that I wear at home when I don't need like a full bra, but I can't just be walking around without a bra.

That's how like my back problems start.

So from, you know, all different levels of support, all different levels of comfort, skims is my go-to place for bras.

Shop skims bra at skims.com.

Now available in 62 sizes.

So they go from 30A to 46H.

And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you.

After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show from the drop-down menu.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince.

You know, winds in the east.

Today's chilly.

What does that mean?

It means we're shifting our wardrobe.

Summer things out, fall things in.

And shifting our wardrobes from summer to fall can be a real challenge.

But luckily, Quince offers timeless and high-quality pieces that we adore, ensuring that our items stay fresh and that we don't blow our budget.

With, you know, the seasons changing, you can really, it's a slippery slope into buying like so many things that you don't need.

I love shopping at Quince because their items are well-made.

You need less things, but they are better things.

When you shop at Quince, if you're really building like a capsule wardrobe, you will have things that last you a really long time.

They're super well made.

But compared to, you know, similar brands, Quince is much more better priced.

So they have cashmere sweaters from $50.

They make pants for every occasion.

They have washable silk tops, so much more.

The best part is that all Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.

And they do that by partnering directly with top factories.

They're cutting out the cost of the middleman, and then they pass the savings on to you, the customer.

Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics fabrics and finishes, which we love.

You will feel the difference in how your clothes wear, in the fact that like season after season, you can still wear them.

I've had like cashmere sweaters from Quince for like three seasons now, and

it's so much better than buying like fast, fashion, disposable clothing.

Like buy less items, but better items with Quince.

Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high-quality closet essentials and go to quince.com slash toast for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

That's q-u-i-n-ce-e.com slash toast for that free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com toast.

Thank you, slash church.

You're welcome.

Our first story, a little fashion news.

2024 L'Oreal Paris Fashion Week runway took place in Paris for Fashion Week, and the stars were out.

So L'Oreal, the beauty brand, has a fashion show.

Yeah, they have like every year, and it always makes waves because they do a good job.

It's literally that episode of Sex in the City.

Like, models, are you a model or a real person?

And then Carrie falls on the runway.

Literally the best episode.

Madison says when she falls in Dior during the Petrovsky era.

I don't know.

This one's really good.

She thinks she's such hot shit on the runway.

And Jackie, she didn't want to wear this outfit because it was too skimpy.

And then all of her friends like gassed her up.

They're like, you're Carrie fucking Bradshaw.

She's like, yeah, I am.

And then she goes out and eats shit.

Like, it's amazing.

You actually couldn't.

The fact that Michael Patrick King, whatever his name was, like, hated Carrie so much is so evident in the show.

And in episodes like that, you really can't ignore it.

I love it.

But L'Oreal does this every year, but it's really on like a major scale.

They always have like the biggest supermodels.

Like they have have Kendall, Cara Delavine, but then also like the biggest influencers.

Like they cover a bunch of different categories and then also like regular folk.

But also because like these are their brand ambassadors.

Like Kendall is the face of L'Oreal.

So Kendall walked, Cara Delavine, as you said, Yva Longoria, Camilla Cabello, Jane Fonda, Heidi Klume, Viola Davis, Andy McDowell, our fave, Bethany Frankel, which we'll get to, Anita, Simone Ashley.

Not Anita, like I literally thought she was one of the models.

Her walk was so sick.

Like, I was, I didn't know that she was not a model.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean, they all look like models at this point.

Everyone who's an actress is a model, and a model is an actress.

A singer is a model, is a model is a singer.

I would say one standout name from this was Bethany.

That was surprising when she was walking.

And then people are coming for her and her walk.

Yeah.

Did you see the video of her walk?

Of course, I did.

Let me say something.

Like, Bethany is an inspiration to so many women.

Like, her beauty takes are so popular and she really makes a lot of products go viral.

And so L'Oreal tapping her.

And I think she works with L'Oreal.

I know she does like a lot of their like ads for their hair company and she likes a lot of their beauty products.

And so this is like a long-term partnership for her.

So I think it was actually really smart of them to tap her because she is, you know, really viral.

She, everyone's talking about her now.

She

is like really, she's major.

And I think like a lot of like.

older women really look up to her when it comes to beauty because she's very no bullshit approach, whatever.

The walk wasn't like amazing, you know, it was giving like they should have given her different shoes.

I think she was just having a hard time walking in the shoes.

Here's what she said because she did an Instagram story when she got home.

I think she literally still has her hair like in the bun.

She said, I chose those shoes.

L'Oreal said, You can pick anything you want, and I chose those shoes because I wanted to be like a giraffe, like elongated legs, like one of those long-laded legged creatures that walks a runway and looks like they're not even the same species.

She said that she loved her walk because that's what the show was about.

It was not about being perfect, it was about being perfectly imperfect and doing what you want to do.

And it's so easy to sit and watch someone else do something and criticize it.

I posted that video because I live for it.

So

I love what she said.

It's so easy to sit and watch someone else do something and criticize it.

Like exactly.

And you could tell on stage, like if she wanted to walk differently, like she could have at least, she wasn't even trying to walk normal.

She was like stomping.

She had like a little mark.

She was trying to, yeah.

A little flair.

She was having fun.

I really think anybody who's like seriously sitting home being like, why is Bethany there?

Why is she walking like that?

Like, you're missing out on the joy of life.

No, it's so true.

And you know what?

Like, she showed up as herself.

She wasn't showing up as a model.

She was showing up as like this, you know,

really influencer, reality star, whatever you want to call it, but like this influential person when it comes to makeup.

And she just showed up completely as herself.

And she was so proud of her, of her walk.

And like, that's literally all that matters.

I agree.

Like, I think her response is amazing.

And it's, it's very true.

Like, you know, everyone sits at home, like, picking their belly buttons, commenting on what other people look like and whatever.

And it's like, please.

And what other people do.

And it's like, well, you don't do anything.

So yeah, it's easy for you to sit there and say, like, and poke fun at like the brave person.

It's the man in the arena, Turdy.

It's so true.

I, and of course, like the comparisons to Ramona were like, I think a lot of people's first, first instinct, because like Housewives on the Runway.

is its own category of pop culture history.

It's true.

Bethany Frankl is the woman in the arena.

I want to pull up that quote because we need our yearly reminder.

It's such a good quote.

It's such a good quote, Teddy Roosevelt.

The man in the arena.

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.

But who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

The middle lost me a little bit.

It's like a little long, but it's back at the end

for the poor timid timid trolls.

No, it's very true.

And if you watch a video, like at the end of the day, Bethany looks like she's having so much fun.

I think she's like so proud of herself, and that's what comes through.

So I love the response.

I actually loved this event oddly.

I agree.

Like, what are they showing off in a fashion?

I don't know.

I don't know.

But it always ends up being like a big viral moment for L'Oreal.

They always get really premium talent, either, you know, people who work with them long-term.

Like

Kendall is like the new face of like Global L'Oreal, or just influencers.

I think last year, like a a lot of the favorite makeup girlies walked.

That girl, her name is not Kendall.

She looks like Kendall.

What is her name?

Whatever.

Is her name Kendall?

Whatever.

They do a really good job of like surveying the beauty landscape.

And Bethany, like right now, she's having a moment.

And they leaned into that and she had fun.

And that's all that matters.

Yeah.

And the picture where like she's not walking, she just like looks so fantastic.

And the shoes look great.

Yeah, the shoes look great.

So that was that.

I want to talk about Kendall for a moment, if we may, because Kendall.

blonde.

Yes, and I saw this theory that Liz once posted on her Instagram that really has stuck inside my head that said celebrities go blonde when they've just had work done.

And then they go blonde because like, you're like, oh, they look different because they're blonde.

And then eventually by the time they go back,

you were just like, oh, they're back.

And you don't really notice the work.

Is that a good idea?

That's a very good theory.

It is.

I happen to really like Kendall's blonde hair right now.

And maybe that's what she wanted me to think.

But it's also, it's not like Kendall is someone who never plays with her hair.

Maybe she had like that red face.

So it really could be either.

I just like it as a theory in general.

And I also think that it's a good strategy if you are trying to obfuscate your work.

I know it's so true.

It's like, hey, look at me, but don't.

No, hey, look at me.

Yeah, I look different because I changed my hair.

Right.

We'll have to wait for her to turn back.

And the thing is, a side-by-side photo always helps.

But because now we're onto it.

But if she just turned back, we'd be like, oh, she looks different again because she turned back.

Yeah.

So I thought that was a little interesting trick of the trade.

And that actually would make sense as to why the Kardashians, for so many years, have had each, every single one of them, so many different hair colors, except for Courtney.

Except for Courtney.

You know, that toxic hair dye is not, it's not seeping through her follicles.

That's true, but it could also be a wig.

And I often wonder with the Kardashians, because it was a period where they were all changing their hair so much, and there's really no way that they're bleaching their hair as frequently as they are.

I think she did the one time.

And it, like, she kept it for a very long time.

Should I go blonde?

Are you getting work done?

I wish.

What would you suggest?

Just a cloning.

Yeah, I think so too.

Are you ready for our next story, our sports theory news?

Yes.

Because some big football news from the weekend that we didn't touch on yesterday, but that we're going to get into today is Travis Kelsey's performance in his big game.

I'm so glad my Travi Travi made it to the big game.

I'm so glad my Travi made it to the big game.

One step closer to

Kelsey being my last name.

Because if you play like you ain't worthy, which he did on Sunday.

Did you call me Mrs.

Taylor Purdy?

Mrs.

Taylor Purdy.

He did play like he wasn't worthy on Sunday, and there's a lot of rumors swirling about Travis Kelsey right now.

Oh my God, like the man can't have a bad day.

Like there has to be theories around it.

This is his first bad game, seriously, since we've all started watching, which is now like two seasons.

One, but also apparently this season, he's had a slow start.

Now the analysts are chirping and here's analysts are analyzing.

Analysts are going to analyze.

Some are telling him to retire amid his career worse stats.

Some are saying that he partied too hard in the offseason with Taylor.

You know, he went to the U.S.

Open, had a honeydew.

And that's why he's like not fit to play.

But then also like on Sunday, I think Patrick was like not passing as much to Travi.

So people thought there was beef.

I think he like had his feelings hurt a little bit.

But I think maybe it's maybe honestly like Tia and Tamara.

Maybe it's like Trump versus Kamala.

Taylor and Brittany.

By the way, I'm glad you brought that up because you need to explain what we found out like right after we wrap, which was that Tamara.

Yeah, I apologize yesterday.

I knew I had heard a theory and I should have just Googled it.

So Tamara is the one who's like confirmed Republican.

She, when she was on The View,

she actually, oh my God, sorry,

The Real, she actually spoke about how her husband, who's like a Fox News correspondent, like works at Fox News, is, you know, loves Trump.

And I think that their family is like very, he was like in the process of like, you know, showing her a whole new world.

And she became like a conservative woman.

And she had to go on the reel and be like, listen, my husband's not racist.

And like, it was a huge thing.

And so it's kind of an ongoing story.

Okay, so, but just to say, we were theorizing that Tia

was

the Republican and Tamara was the liberal, but it's actually the opposite.

But

the concept was valid.

Yeah.

I got my sisters wrong.

Still unclear if that's what drove them apart, but just to clarify, like, there is a political divide and it was the opposite sisters.

But I don't know, like, what is, where does that leave Taj?

I can't talk about these sisters again because, like, yesterday, everybody wanted to kill me for getting their politics wrong.

But, yes, thank you for reminding me.

Just like a little correction.

So, yeah, this is giving Tia and Tamara a little bit, but was Patrick not throwing to Travi because he's a Republican or because like Travi doesn't have what it takes these days?

I don't think like these professional ass men would literally ever let politics

and I actually and Patrick has been asked about politics a lot like very directly in press conferences and he refuses to engage.

He's like, that's literally not my job.

I don't believe in telling people who to vote for.

Like do your research and find the best candidate for you.

And I actually don't know if Travis like really is like, you know, has his head fully invested in the election.

Like, I think that was a joke.

That was a joke that I just said, by the way, because that's not what I was thinking.

I think really the more story here is like, is Travis at the end of his career?

And I know like two bad games doesn't make

a

mean you have to like leave now, but there was a lot of

part of this.

And I think he was crying.

Was Travis crying?

He was, he had like a fibisana punim when the camera cut to him because he like missed a really big catch and he's like sitting there like, you know, yelling at himself.

We've all been there, you know?

Yeah.

He's experiencing like self-doubt.

You see it all happening across his face, like a thousand different emotions.

He's like, obviously embarrassed because like everyone's watching.

But another element is that.

The Kansas City Chiefs, like as you, we've said many times, like they're on their way to building this dynasty and they're investing in other good players too.

So it's so much so not that Patrick isn't throwing it to Travis is that Travis, Patrick has more options now when it comes to players to throw to.

So that means less catches for Travis.

Statistically, that's what I'm saying.

And then like the two times he threw to him, like he dropped the ball.

And it's like, yikes, we don't really have time for you to be like kind of fucking shit up.

So why don't you just sit this one out?

Yeah.

It's just like, it was a little awkward.

I want to say.

It's a little awkward.

I am really grateful that like the football community,

you know, people who were fans before last year aren't just being like, look, Taylor's ruining.

Cause that would, I just knew like the second that Travis like started fucking up, people would be like, he's spending too much time with Taylor.

He's not focused.

And, you know, his best games were when him and Taylor first started dating.

So I was happy that like we weren't scapegoating.

No, he won the Super Bowl with Taylor by his side.

This is not a Jessica Simpson Tony Romo situation.

Exactly.

So I'm glad we're not blaming Taylor because I know people would like automatically be like, well, it's Taylor.

Actually, they could blame her in the other way, which is that this was the first game in a while that she hasn't gone to.

And then I'm so sad my Travi played bad at the big game.

Now, I do want to say him partying so much in the offseason, I don't think it is a thing.

But this new level of fame like makes him very busy.

You know, he has this new effect show, Grotesquerie.

He's hosting Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Like those are in and of itself full-time jobs, right?

So I feel like, I don't know if he's partying.

I think maybe he's spreading himself a little thin with all the opportunities that have come his way.

He's not suffering.

He's not in the gym.

And Andy Reid, anytime he's been asked about it, especially in the beginning, he's always like, listen, the game hasn't suffered.

His, you know, skills haven't suffered.

So I don't give a fuck what he does in his private life.

Well, now.

It's a little occo-taco.

I wonder what changed.

But I do think like it's not fair to make these grand assumptions off of a game.

Yeah, but the analysts are saying, I think we might have missed the last few games, like not picked up on the fact that he wasn't playing his best.

And then because he was crying on Sunday and Taylor wasn't there, like it's become clear.

Now, I'm not saying that means he has to retire tomorrow.

Like, but is this the writing on the wall, so to speak?

And how old is he?

He is that's Shacky what I was looking at 34.

And Jason is how old?

36.

36, yeah.

That's like a bad thing.

And he retired.

He just retired.

Yeah.

So Travi, like,

should have two more years.

That sounds right.

Did you see the picture of Jason Kelsey in a bathing suit that's sort of taken the internet by storm?

No, where was he in a bathing suit?

At the beach.

Somebody just like took a picture with him, and he's wearing this little bathing suit.

You just see his body, I think, for the first time.

I think this was a lot of people's first time seeing his body.

And the shorts and the position that he's sitting just sort of grip really everything um it's really a crazy photo i'm looking but i don't think he's sitting in a chair on the beach and there are like two girls behind him taking a photo with him

no it's not gonna be easy to find no it really should be i just searched jason kelsey bathing suit also what happened i was thinking about this the other day what happened to the espn body issue Do you remember that?

I loved that.

Even before I was like into sports, I thought it was like so beautiful how they paid such respect to both men and women who like devote their whole physical being to their sport and then they like take these really tasteful not nude because like they cover like vaginas and boobs but they're nude otherwise these really beautiful portraits of like the biggest athletes in all different sports yeah i thought it was so beautiful i i i had forgotten about it until just now yeah

Final issue was in 2019.

Why?

Because like we're objectifying, but we weren't.

I always thought it was so tasteful.

Why don't you keep digging?

Why was it final?

Why did ESPN stop doing consumer habits are evolving rapidly, and this requires ESPN to evolve as well.

The network said in a statement, the only change here is that we are moving away from printing it on paper and sending it in the mail.

Hmm.

That's not an awesome thing.

That was a bad call.

That was a bad call.

Yeah.

Maybe they'll bring it back, like the Victoria Seeker fashion show.

Yeah, I remember this.

Really made news.

Vince Willfork.

Who doesn't have the typical, what you would think an athlete's body is supposed to look like?

I'm on my way.

No, they really covered everyone.

Like it was so, it was beautiful.

I loved it.

A lot of these images are hidden when you like search them on Google.

Oh, yeah.

And then, of course, I remember the, was that Amari Stademeyer?

Yeah, who held, like, was totally naked and put his hand in front of his penis.

And,

you know,

people were like, how can you cover your whole penis?

Like, it was just the kind of the fingertips.

And people were like, wow, does Amari Stautmeyer have a small penis?

Maybe that's why they got rid of of it because people were being disgusting, myself included.

I just want to say like my contribution to as a sports podcaster, bring back the ESPN body issue.

I liked it.

And bring forward Keeping Up with Sports.

No.

I'm actually glad.

I know one of your favorite, like your Roman Empire is the fact that Caitlin Jenner and Lamar Odom announced a podcast with the worst title ever called Keeping Up with Sports where they were going to like do sports for the girlies and they never released an episode.

And I know that is your Roman Empire, but let me just say like I'm so glad they never did.

I still feel like it's forthcoming.

It's been a year.

I think it's in production.

We've got to get them on the toast to find out.

So that I can just, like, move on.

If it's not happening,

if it's not happening, like, I can grieve.

Right.

And if it is happening, I can just sit tight.

Of course.

Are you ready for our next story?

One number.

Three.

Oh, yeah.

The aforementioned casting news is that Margot Robbie and and Jacob Alordi are set to portray Gothic lovers Catherine and Heathcliff in Emerald Fennell's Wuthering Heights adaptation.

Now, we all know Wuthering Heights from high school English.

We do, we do.

Like, I know, I've heard, obviously, Wuthering Heights, and I definitely read it, you know?

I can't remember if it's one of the ones that I did read or that I

love.

I know that, like, the trees, what is it called?

Like, the moors?

It was like a big thing.

Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

Like.

Let's get a little summary.

I remember like sitting in English class, like we were talking about the trees.

There's something about trees in the book.

For sure.

Oh, they're withering, aren't they?

In the late winter months of 1801, a man named Lockwood rents a manor house called Thrush Crow.

Lockwood.

Thrush Cross Grange

in the isolated Moor country of England.

The Moors!

That's what I said.

Here he meets his dour landlord, Heathcliff, a wealthy man who lives in the ancient manor of Wuthering Heights, four miles away from the Grange.

In this wild, stormy countryside, Lockwood asks his housekeeper, Nellie Dean, to tell him the story of Heathcliff and the strange denizens of Wuthering Heights.

Nellie consents and Lockwood writes down his recollections of her tale in his diary.

These written recollections form the main part of Wuthering Heights.

Now, I think for a lot of girlies, like this casting news, like shakes them to their core.

I think a lot of people regard this novel as they regarded like little women, like waiting with bated breath to see who would.

I don't even remember this book.

I don't really give a fuck.

And I feel like Margarabi is like busy.

I don't know how she's doing this.

We just announced she would be doing The Sims movie.

She's pregnant.

Get you a girl who could do both, you know, The Sims movie and Wuthering Heights.

Talk about range.

Yeah, I'm sat for this.

I like Margarabi.

I like Jacob Lordy.

I like a period piece.

I don't think that I read Wuthering Heights in earnest.

I think I just spark notes it at best.

1,000%.

So, like, I don't know the story.

No spoilers.

Like, I'm sad.

I mean, I think we're all in agreement that when it came to like high school reading material, none of us ever read any of the books except for The Curious Case of the Dog in the Middle of the Night, right?

Like, that was a universal experience.

So, that was your one book that you read that stuck with you.

The one book that I read that stuck with me, and I feel like I chose it.

No, Jackie, it's not the one book that I read that stuck with me.

It was the one book that I read, period.

And right, and so it has stuck with you because you read it.

And the one that I chose, and I actually think I made a good choice in what i chose to read the one book was um

spit it out the portrait of victorian gray

fabulous book fab that's that's like a classic it is i mean like that's why it was chosen Yeah, it's like, why, if they wanted us to really like learn to read, they should have had us reading Tessa Bailey and Colleen Hoover.

Like, let's be real.

Well, they knew you were reading that, like, at home.

But I wasn't.

Well, you were probably reading, reading, we were reading like Gossip Girl in the A-list.

So we were doing

our reading for fun at home.

Yeah, Masley Block and the Crow.

And that's why I couldn't be bothered to read Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre, which I did read Jane Eyre two years ago to sort of catch up.

I didn't miss anything, by the way.

And like, none of us read The Catcher in the Rye, right?

And we certainly did not actually read Fahrenheit 451.

Certainly not.

Did not read The Sun Also Rises.

Can't remember if I read Grey Gatsby or just saw the movie enough to know the story, but I do feel filled on my Great Gatsby cup.

Yeah, I know I didn't read Great Gatsby and like the way I couldn't fucking hear about like the meaning of the cover with the green light and like the green light.

Like the fucking light.

If we had one more fucking conversation about that light and I was thinking, I was like.

This is probably the new cover.

You know, like when he wrote it, like that probably wasn't even like the cover he wanted.

No, but in the book, like the green light is such a symbol.

Like what is the green light?

And Tony Maguire is like staring at the green light.

I just feel like everyone was kind of focused on that and they were missing other stuff because they were.

Like the dead man in the pool.

Right, because they were so focused on that.

Oh my God, like literally English was one of my least favorite classes.

So much material, like and so much conversation spent on like what do we think the author meant by like this one word.

Like maybe he just like was tired and used that word.

Maybe it's like not that deep.

No, and I also feel like if an author like wants us to know their meaning and it like just say it.

Say it with your whole chest.

I know we spent all this time like interpreting what we thought they meant as if they didn't just write out like he meant what he said because he said it.

That's there's not like it's not the Bible.

Paradise Lost.

I don't know what that is.

I think it's a poem.

Something dreadful.

Literature is dreadful.

Sorry.

It really is.

Unfortunately.

Yeah.

However, this is a great way to get us into some old classics.

Right, right, teaching the youth.

Wuthering Heights ex Jacob Alorty.

I wonder if they're going to like wokeify it up, you know?

Like, does Heathcliff have blue hair?

Does Heathcliff have blue hair?

Is Lockwood, you know,

queer?

Queer.

And by the way, I bet, like, in actually the real book, Lockwood was queer.

Like, that's not them changing anything, you know?

Totally.

Love that.

Yeah, we'll see.

We shall see.

But I'm open.

It's all in the same.

Yeah.

I actually was just having this conversation about the word queer with some

queer people.

Like, do they identify with that word?

And no, like, no.

I'm like, no, like, being gay and being, I feel like queer, like, to describe yourself as queer versus being gay, like, you're being intentional, right?

And I think queer signals like a lot of like other things besides just like your sexual preference.

I think it's more of like a lifestyle too.

Like, like a vibe.

Yeah, and like, you know,

yeah, vibe.

That's a perfect way to describe it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can't, it's just like, you know, I'm queer versus like, I'm gay.

Yeah, gay is like pretty straightforward.

Like, you know what it means?

Yeah.

I like men.

I'm a man who likes men.

But or a woman who likes women.

Like, I think if you're saying queer, like, yes, my sexual orientation is this, but I also like this and that and this and that.

Deodorant is optional sort of vibes, you know?

Amongst other things.

Yes, I do understand.

I didn't realize that there was such a discrepancy.

There is.

I'm pretty sure.

So like if our queer contingencies could sound off in the comments, like do you like, are you gay or are you queer?

Because I know they technically mean the same thing, but I think there's a lot of social context to one and the other.

I understand what you're saying.

And I can see that.

I'm just letting you know.

I'm letting you know as an ally.

I'm letting you know what the gay community is like saying.

I appreciate that.

I just learned that.

So when I just said Lockwood is clear, like clear, that's kosher?

Yeah, because we were talking about like woke.

I think queer is much more woke than gay.

I understand what you're saying, and I could see that, and I could feel that.

You feel it.

Yeah, it's like a feeling.

It's a feeling.

But sometimes when you're like talking about like, you know gay culture like it's fun to say queer you know

queer is a fun word to say but it has a deeper meaning but it's also an umbrella term so you're covering a lot like when i say lockwood is queer queer like it could mean a lot of things and that's why i said it because there's a lot of potential for lockwood yeah but i'm saying like in the book lockwood probably was gay you know you don't think he was queer

no i think he was gay Like, I don't think queerness existed back then.

That's what I'm saying.

Queerness is like, I think a new term and it's like a new culture.

In the way that it exists now, but I think what it is.

Back in the day, people were gay.

For whatever day, they were like talking about it.

Yeah.

But they weren't queer.

You know what I mean?

I understand what you're saying, but they were still queer.

Just the word has the meaning has changed.

And the meaning that we mean today, that's not what was happening back.

Oh, you're talking like Merriam-Webster definition was.

Yes, it's been in Merriam-Webster for a long ass time.

I'm talking about like vibes.

I understand.

My brain is starting to break from this.

Like, it's

it's all just wrapping my head around.

You'll get there.

No, like, I just feel like we're talking, like, two in the weeds.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

We're not even queer.

What the hell do we know?

The guy is like, zoom out, zoom back out.

Yeah, yeah, big bang.

Big bang.

Big queer.

Are you ready for the fourth and fifth story that are brought to you by State Farm?

Yes, I am.

So this episode of the Toast is supported by State Farm.

When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, I don't really want...

But really the words you should be thinking or singing are like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

So State Farm is there with the coverage that you need for your car, your home, even boats, motorcycles, RVs, and other things that matter to you.

With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage that you need.

With so many coverage options, it feels good knowing you can find what fits for you.

And when you need ways to get help, State Farm is giving you options there too.

So maybe you're like me, a very fast-paced, bright lights, big city girl.

And when you need to get something done, you want to get it done quick.

You're using the State Farm award-winning app or website, like in a very technology swirly type of way.

That's how I'm getting help from State Farm and contacting my agent.

Perhaps you live like Jax, a much slower existence, you know, really seeking, desperately seeking that human connection.

And you want to talk to your State Farm agent in real life or on the phone, very 90s of you.

You can do that too.

That's what we love about State Farm.

No matter what kind of toaster you are, whether you're a Jax or a Claude, State Farm lets you do things your way.

So when you need help protecting the things that matter most remember to sing it like jax and claude do it like a good neighbor state farm is there

like a good neighbor state farm is there

beautiful i didn't love i didn't love like the high voice that it's fine you're never gonna you're never gonna be able to give me my flowers on that it's factual today's episode is also brought to you by dr teal so if you're looking to recover if you're looking to relax try dr teal's in my opinion and i think that i'm a leading voice in the space the best products for bath time.

I take my baths really seriously.

And actually, Ben doesn't bathe.

He showers.

Even he loves my Dr.

TL's.

I put him onto it.

The difference, you will feel it.

So the Epsom salts, the foaming bath, they are made with magnesium and essential oils.

And you will really, really feel the difference.

Magnesium is like this magical essential vitamin that like Ben has become obsessed with.

And ever since I got the Dr.

TLs, he's really been loving it.

I take a bath pretty much every single day, especially if I work out.

I think that really helps me with my recovery and like not feeling sore.

I can't feel sore.

Like when I i wake up sore i feel so angry and so taking a hot soak using the epsom salts the foaming bath powered by magnesium and essential oils makes a huge difference in my recovery you will really feel the difference with dr tl's after just one bath it will essentially be love it first bath not only do they have foaming baths pure epsom salts but they also have a variety of other wellness products they're powered by magnesium There's a real difference, especially like I said, with muscle recovery.

And if a bath is a part of your wellness routine, for me, it is an essential part of it.

I don't have a bath.

Like, I'm mad.

Baths are a huge part of my life and I need the best I need the best in my corner and that's dr.

TL himself um you can find dr.

TL's at Walmart or any major retailer near you they have amazing scents cannot recommend the lavender enough perfect way to unwind before bed get really relaxed today's episode is also brought to you by chomps back to school means busy schedules and chomps are the perfect on-the-go snack that you can always fit into the busiest of schedules so whether that's in between classes on the way to practice a much needed pick-me-up for parents in the pickup lane chomps have the protein that your body needs to answer your flavor, to need, oh my God, I'm like literally having sugar.

Chomps has the protein that your body needs and the flavors you crave.

So always having like a snack like chomps in your purse is so fabulous.

Like empty calories, empty snacks, they're not going to help you throughout the day.

They're not going to help you feel focused.

They're not going to help you stay full.

You're just going to like sort of wither away, very withering heights of you.

So if you're looking for a healthy snack that does not compromise on taste, say hello to chomps.

Chomps meat snacks have up to 12 grams of protein, zero grams of sugar, and they are made with only real ingredients.

So it's finally a snack that will fill you up.

It's made with lists of ingredients that you can feel good about.

They come in 10 delicious flavors, so there's something for everyone.

They're made with only the highest quality protein, like grass-fed and finished beef, and antibiotic-free turkey.

So the only tough choice is what flavor to try first.

Right now, CHOMPS is offering 10% off your first order when you sign up for their email list by going to chomps.com slash toast.

Let me also say, like, whether you're just looking to stay full throughout the day or you're looking for like good, healthy snacks to help you on your

health journey, chomps is a really great option.

The meat will keep you full, the protein will keep you full, and the the ingredients will like give you peace of mind.

You can give them to your kids, like knowing that they're made well.

So go to chomps.com/slash toast to see all the delicious flavors, and you'll get 10% off your first order when you sign up for their email list.

That's c-h-o-m-p-s.com/slash toast.

Don't forget to use our link so they know that we sent you.

That's chomps.com slash toast to get 10% off your first order when you sign up for their email list.

Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome.

Our next story, a little celebrity parenting news.

Okay.

Kristen Bell is casually recalling letting her 11 and nine-year-old kids explore a theme park unattended all day on vacation so that she and Dak Shepard could spend some time alone.

You know, I feel like this is a reminder when I asked you, Amila, we're like, we don't use soap.

And you know what?

Like, everyone, do your own thing.

Very Matt and Abby.

Like, do your own parenting thing.

Stop telling it to us.

Like, enough.

Yeah, I feel like Dax and Kristen, like, little in fashion, like, fall into this category of, like, you know, sharing these things about parenting.

And I think they do it to like be relatable.

Oh, ha, we wanted time alone.

Like, girl, you're rich.

Get a fucking babysitter.

No, it's so true.

But anyway, she went on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote her new Netflix show.

Nobody wants another.

Oh, I do want to see that show.

That's written by Aaron Foster.

I was talking about Jimmy Kimmel.

Right.

And so, like, you know, when you go on a late-night show, like, you plan like a story that you're going to tell or a couple, like, you know, whatever.

So this is what she shared.

That they casually let their two kids explore a theme park unattended for hours during a recent family vacation.

She began by telling Jimmy that being a parent to two young children going on vacation can be pretty stressful.

She said,

don't you find that going on vacation as a parent, it's not a vacation.

You're just watching your kids in a different city.

Like, yeah.

And like taking a private plane, please, like, I can't.

Jimmy agreed, noting that it's worse than being at home.

And Kristen said, truly, because they have none of their creature comforts, they're asking you a thousand more questions than they normally do.

Oh, God.

Then she revealed that her and Dax's hack to getting some alone time was that when they were in Copenhagen, they stayed at this hotel that was right at the Tavoli Gardens, which is a seven-acre theme park.

The hotel opens up into the theme park, and so we were just kind of like, Are we going to go free-range parenting and roll the die here?

So we let them wake up at six o'clock every morning.

They just scanned their bracelets to go outside.

Didn't see them for seven hours, just running around Copenhagen.

Visibly surprised, Jimmy questioned, and that was okay.

Kristen replied, Apparently, they're both alive.

We all returned home.

Your podcast isn't broken.

We're just speechless.

No, no, I see what I'm doing.

Who are you calling?

Child Protective Services.

Like, that's fucking crazy in a foreign country, letting your nine and 11-year-olds.

And the thing is, like, I'm never, ever, ever, ever wanted to criticize someone's parenting.

But like, you telling this story is like, you're opening yourself up for like, you know, the parenting shamers to come in.

And it's like, this is the same thing with Matt and Abby, right?

Like, everybody does their own, like you cut corners oh not everyone's perfect of course shut up about it but and like i'm sorry there's really no excuse like oh we're tired we want to be alone girl you are literally so i wonder who's richer you or your husband like i literally don't know like hire a fucking babysitter yeah no

or they had one and that's a part of the story that she's not she's not sharing i actually think this share is crazier than matt and abby duh

I'm not seeing any backlash for this.

I'm just seeing that like it's just, you know, classic press, Dax and Kristen, like parenting news.

Like, this is why people hate celebrities, like in an attempt to be like relatable, which is just, it's insulting.

Like, of course, even, you know, no matter how much money you have, like, being a parent is hard, right?

But to even like try and compare what it's like for regular people, it's so insulting.

And it really is like patronizing.

Like, talk about something else.

And

this is why people hate celebrities, you know, because not only are you sharing in this like really patronizing way, like what you're doing is insane if true.

Yeah.

No, that's really insane.

It's just like, this is, to me, I roll central.

Yeah.

Like him and his huge podcast with his biggest Spotify deal, he probably didn't even say he probably got like $100 million.

She's been in a million movies.

They are collectively the face of like

May tag washing machines.

She's in every fucking commercial on the planet.

Like, stop.

I actually think they are like one of the most successful couples in Hollywood and they're pretty low.

In a non-traditional way.

And I think they like do stuff like this so people forget like how much money that they have because I think they really profit and benefit from being seen as related.

They also have, they have have a baby care company that's great.

Hello, Bellow.

I have so much of their stuff.

Like, oh my God, that's them?

That sunblock that I was using?

Sunblock that you were using.

Yeah, it's like diapers.

It's all baby goods.

Oh, my God.

Like, to me, this makes me sick.

So they like really prosper from people seeing them as relatable parents.

So like the idea, yeah, going on vacation with your kids, it's not a vacation.

It's just doing your parenting in a different city.

That is true, but like, that's what makes it fun and different.

No.

And I'm sorry, like, this is also like a bad story.

Like, this is setting a bad example because you should not do this.

A foreign country where there's a language barrier, letting your kids go out by themselves, which she probably didn't.

Like I can't stress enough how like she probably had like an actual security guard tailing them the entire time along with an annie.

Oh right.

They're also like famous children.

Right.

Someone might see this and like think that it's an oh look they're the beacon of parenting.

They own a parenting company.

Like if they did it, I can do it.

Like this is actually bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, she said it was heaven.

We just had coffee.

We played spades and then around three o'clock We'd be like anybody see them and then one of them would run up and need a band-aid

and okay if it was like an amusement park where you can look out your balcony and like it's a confined space there's only so much you can go but this is a seven acre amusement park open to the public

not funny I'm not laughing ha ha it's not funny it's not relatable like it's stupid and you're probably lying too

yeah maybe perhaps like you're telling me you have all the resources in the world and like you wouldn't hire

just

someone to protect the thing the thing you love most right there's someone to just go out with them like you don't want to wake up at 6 a.m.

fine but just like to tail them.

Right.

So what's worse?

Like, they're lying to the American people.

That's bad.

Or you actually did this shit.

I actually don't know which is worse.

Oh my God, this story is like really bothering me.

Yeah.

Like getting lit up.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I just hate when you, like, as somebody who loves like pop culture, like, I hate when celebrities like talk down and like really try to pretend like that we all have the same problems.

Like we don't.

Or like use that against us.

Like use our love for this sort of thing as like that they could just feed us anything.

Because, yeah, like, being a parent is super, super hard, but having money makes it easier.

And I think anybody who says it doesn't is a liar.

Like, having access to childcare makes it easier.

Flying first class on an international flight or flying private, however, they flew.

Like, all, and then, and then on top of that, you're a celebrity, so you just get special treatment, which makes your life easier traveling with two kids, anyways.

Like, you get to cut lines and things like that, like, VIP treatment.

So, please.

Yeah,

please stop.

I think you said it all, sister.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh, such.

Bidding is such sweet sorrow.

Bidding fair from Heathcliff?

That is Heath.

Shakespeare.

Who uttered those immortal words?

Heathcliff?

Shakespeare?

Yeah.

Hamlet.

Bidding is such.

No, wait.

What did I say?

Yeah, bidding is such sweet sorrow.

Is that it?

Doesn't sound right.

Bidding, what?

What's bidding?

Yeah.

Like bidding adieu.

Bidding is adieu.

Claudia, let's Google it.

Bidding is sweet

sorrow.

Nothing's even coming up and suggesting.

Did I just make this up?

I like it.

Maybe who uttered those immortal words?

Turdspeer.

Okay.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

From Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, I actually read that one, by the way.

Add that to the list.

Like, that was a classic that everybody read.

Yeah, I feel like growing up, it's like, you know, Romeo and Juliet, like, we're singing in a love story.

Like, maybe I should just read it when the time comes.

And, you know, I switched schools in the eighth grade.

And in my new school, in the eighth grade, we read Romeo and Juliet.

Juliet, and I had read it in my old school and seventh grade.

Like, not me actually, like, on the first day of school, I remember kids thinking I was like, really smart, and I wasn't, but I would, they were like, you know, what are the names of the two families?

And I was like,

Montague and Capulet?

I don't know what the fucking question was, but you know what I mean.

Oh, my God.

They were like, oh, look at this merit scholar

too high.

Yeah.

And then, like, you know, the name of the school.

And then they probably put you in like the accelerated English class, and all of a sudden, you're like at the bottom.

And then I was like a part of this like

scam that i just couldn't undo this web of lies yeah

damn and it was reflected in my report card that year you played yourself yeah

well our fifth and final story kesha is entering her independent era with the launch of her own record label called Kesha Records and she's got a new album set for 2025.

So Kesha has announced that she's entered a new independent era with the launch of Kesha Records, which will be distributed globally in partnership with ADA.

The singer who has long been since signed to RCA and Kimo Sabi Records is slated to release a new album in 2025 as part of the deal, which denotes her first distribution deal and the first time she's had ownership and creative control over her music.

ADA will work hand in hand with Crush Music to oversee all marketing and promotion for her new album.

That's great.

I think that like, you know, her relationship with Dr.

Luke was really pushed on her by that label.

Like she really was like this woman with no power and

labels are so toxic.

I have often thought that like Taylor's next move would be starting her own label because she is is this like machine and she has everything she does.

Like she had to make a documentary.

She didn't want to hire a production company.

She made her own.

And I'm surprised that she hasn't done her own record label yet.

And I feel like Kesha would be literally be one of the first artists that she signed.

Yeah.

Because Taylor's been like so supportive of her.

And then like all the artists that she like brings up with her, like Sabrina, you know?

Yeah.

I feel like she should do it.

I agree.

I feel like it also sounds kind of nightmarish because then like you became like, you become like the big record executive that you hate.

And like at the end of the day, you are working really hard for these artists you're giving them a lot so you take from them and then you become that person right but taylor's like always like talking about how like record companies and the streaming services like are so um

what's the word i'm looking for please help no like like they take advantage of the artists no exploitative

Yeah, that's that's a good, that's not exactly what I was looking for, but yeah, they're so exploitative, especially off of like smaller artists and they make you sign these things and they don't really pay you for your art.

And Taylor's like always making moves to, you know, benefit not only her standing, but all artists.

Like when she signed with Universal Music Group, she was like, I will sign with you, but the rules that you're making for me have to be the rules for all of your artists.

Like, we want X, Y, and Z.

So she's always been like an advocate for artists.

I think the reputation era opened up with a quote from this woman who was like a famous advocate for artists' rights and whatever.

So I have always thought that that would be her next move.

Yeah, I just, I think it's a lot, a lot of work.

And

unless you're exploitative, it's not a lot of work.

Right, it's like, unless it's a non-profit.

Right.

But I love this for Kesha.

And I also love that she's not, like, it says she's an independent artist, but she's doing it in collaboration with a bunch of companies, which I think is good because as much as being an independent artist is like a really,

like, it's a commendable thing.

It more often than not means no one's going to hear your music.

Right, right.

So it's like both options are sad, right?

Like being on a big label, but not owning your music.

And like not getting paid your full worth.

But also like doing it on your own without that big label, like maybe people aren't going to hear it.

It's not going to go where it would have gone if you had the whole machine behind you.

So I think this is a good fusion.

I think Kesha is, Kesha's a hit maker.

So

I think she's just got to do Kesha

and it will bear fruit.

Well, that's what was so like interesting and like earth-shattering about Chance the Rapper.

He's probably like the only person to ever make like the mainstream completely as an independent artist.

Same with Frank Ocean.

Is he independent?

I thought so.

I thought that's his whole thing.

No, that's Chance the Rapper's whole thing.

No, I think it's Frank Ocean's whole thing.

Whole thing, I think.

Is Frank Ocean an independent artist?

Yeah, he became.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

Here are five famous independent artists who made it big all on their own.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Five, Frank Ocean.

Four, Maya.

She's an RB soul singer.

Chance the Rappers.

Number three, okay, number two is

Boyce Avenue.

Who is that?

They sing like one of Ben's like emo songs.

Totally, I think I know them.

Why are they number two?

Who's number one?

Ugh.

I won't even say his name.

Pooh-poo.

I hate this person like with every fiber of my being.

I'll give you a clue.

He wore a fake nose and pretended to be a Jew.

Oh, my, he's actually the worst person.

Did you see what he did last week?

He is actually the worst human being on the planet.

And literally, the fact that he's independent brings me such joy.

He's not successful.

I mean, he didn't, he seems like the type who's independent.

He didn't have a choice.

Like, seriously, he would want to be a child.

Right, not by choice.

Who would ever want to be associated with such an ugly human being?

And I mean, ugly on the inside, like, truly, truly hateful.

I fucking hate this person.

I will not even say he's no, I completely agree.

But he was literally just in the news this weekend.

Yeah, we were just talking about him.

We knew

in our group chat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We were.

Okay, moving on.

That was fun.

You know who I always think is an independent artist, but isn't, but moves like one.

Who?

Zach Bryan.

It's giving independence.

Right?

He came up out of nowhere.

He had all of these fans already.

And you know what?

He is an independent artist.

Who?

Bonnie McGee.

Do you know her?

Queen.

Independence Day.

I am an American girl.

No.

No, no.

Yeah.

Hot-blooded and I'm ready to go.

I actually follow her on TikTok.

She's like, day of my life as an independent artist, like filming her own music videos, producing everything on her own coin, and like talking about, you know, the big hits that she's written as a, like, American Girl was when she was with a label, and obviously, she wrote like so many of Katy Perry's biggest hits back in the day.

She's really a queen, I love her.

Same, are we independent artists?

I feel like we're like Kesha, like we started our own label, but we work in partnership with a bigger label.

We definitely have like the, I think independent artists like have a chip on their shoulder about the fact that they're independent, and like, we definitely have that.

I think being an independent artist is a state of mind.

I actually would beg to differ.

It's like literally not.

I think we have that

independent artist spirit spirit a thousand percent like ain't no part of no big machine

we ain't no part of no big machine like we can't be bought i mean so not absolutely could the problem is like our price is so high it's so true like we have like a high self-worth that's what it is priceless baby I am like officially losing circulation in my vagina.

You know when you wear jeans and you cross your legs for too long, like you actually have no blood flow, which I feel like is bad like for your bad.

Losing circulation is bad, turdy, especially if it's like such a vital organ, you know?

Vitality.

Um, that's our show.

Yeah, no cap on that.

No cap on that.

I'm sad.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast and London Morning Show, where we delivered the fast live stories.

You need to remember if I need to buy videos, videos, and also bells, but guys, back to the advanced bed.

But as I wiggly talented, we are.

Oh, little house can be announced.

Tomorrow's episode will be only

Little House on the Prairie.

Little town.

Little housekeeper.

You said little house on the prairie.

Little housekeeping announcement.

Tomorrow's episode will be audio only and just apologies, but it's what needs to be done.

Apologies so you don't see these gargie faces.

Love ya.

Excuse.

Love you.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Bye.