The Chief Rabbi of The Bachelor: Friday, August 16th, 2024

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Friday, or should I say, Friday?

Friday,

we did it.

The end of another gargie party week of swirly summer.

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

We absolutely have to.

Bruno's getting down after a big blowout bath yesterday.

He's like a little hungover, four years old, finally can party hard.

So he's kind of taking it easy today.

Yeah, he's 28.

28.

No, he's so four.

He's so four.

Can I ask you a question unrelated to Bruno, just like tangential?

Dog years.

No, actually, like completely having nothing to do with what we were talking about.

Franks, I don't want to talk about dog ears.

You?

I like literally the last thing I want to talk about is doggy hairs.

Like, I'm fucking traumatized, okay?

Not me losing my angel boy at 42.

Okay.

Far too young to go at 42.

So much life left to live.

I don't want to talk about it.

Who invented dog ears and why?

Somebody stupid and ugly.

Like

stupid.

But maybe it was meant to like make you feel better if your dog passes at six that instead he like he was 42 with like an incurable cancer.

Can I just say something before the thing I was going to say?

Like Theo was so 42.

He was so 42.

I don't know about you, but he's feeling 42.

And dead.

Like it was 42, boom, dead.

Yeah.

Now, the other thing I was going to talk about is you and I are recording about 30 minutes earlier than we usually do today.

And do you feel like that's going to like affect the show at all?

I feel like we might be like a little crazy.

Oh,

no,

because like after all, it's about 12 minutes early.

You had to put your bread in the oven.

And then the gardeners were making noise outside of the room.

So, like, after all was said and done, it's 12 minutes early here.

And I think we're the same girls we are in 12 minutes from now.

And if we're not, then like in 12 minutes from now, the show will like even out.

If we're not, then we deserve everything we have coming to us.

Oh, wait, speaking of things we have coming to us, tomorrow, our final Jitzo show, let's take a moment to reflect.

At a glance, we've done, what is this, like 10 shows now?

What is this?

I don't know.

Okay, I know we did Fourth of Beacon.

Okay.

And I'm.

I'm going to promo that out.

Of course.

I'm a little murky on how many West Hamp did.

It was either four or five.

So this is either our ninth or 10th show.

I like 10.

I think 10.

And then also, if it is only our ninth show, then we could loop in that old Caroline show

and say this is our 10th live show.

Well, this is our last live show for this little run we've done.

We have no plans to do any more.

So like I'm calling it like this is the final one for a good time being.

And it's tomorrow night at Atlantic City Borgata.

I'm really excited about it.

I haven't been to Atlantic City in forever and I'm just sort of feeling like the Atlantic City vibes wash over me.

Like I feel like I'm going to have to be like start acting crazy starting now.

Maybe starting in an hour.

Why?

Why wouldn't I put it on the podcast?

They love it.

Okay.

Let's just, we'll see where the chips fall.

And then maybe you could go gamble them.

Literally.

Can we talk about how crazy like that one time I got an IV on the toast was?

Like I used to come to the toast hungover all the time.

Like literally having gone to bed at four in the morning on like a Tuesday.

I can't believe how different my life is now because I was just watching Hillary Hillary from the Sodom Method was on Taylor Strecher's podcast because they met at like a panel or whatever.

And they were obviously I tuned in because I heard they were speaking glowingly about me.

And, you know, Hillary, she's so complimentary.

Like, she can't just say, like, oh, she, Claudia is great.

She's really dedicated.

Like, she had to give like this whole diatribe that seriously, like, was like the nicest thing anybody said.

Like, nicer than anyone said at your wedding, like, your bridal shower.

The guy himself could not have written something more beautiful than what she said, just like about like my commitment and how I'm so like, she said, like, I really show up.

Like, when I'm with you, like, I'm so focused on what I'm doing.

Like, I'm literally not.

but it just like really put into perspective like how much i have changed you know how different i am and if you ever win a big award and like someone has to introduce you for the award you should have hillary do it why wouldn't it be you in this scenario because like you're busy i think she would like say some like not that i don't feel those things towards you but like sometimes i have a hard time like getting it out on paper like i think she would give you like the most glowing introduction yeah she's good with the words yeah that's actually a great idea if somebody wants to give me an award just so i can get hillary involved do let me know Perhaps, you know, a purple heart.

Like a lifetime achievement.

You really want a purple heart.

Like I bring it up all the time.

Tarek's armed hike.

It's like once a week.

Why don't you join the military?

Let me tell you something.

Let me tell you something.

It's not that I have this like obsession, like kind of like solely with the Hudson.

Like I don't have an obsession with the purple heart.

Tarek with the gun.

I kind of like don't know other awards besides like Oscar, you know?

Nobody introduces you for an Oscar.

Right.

No, except unless you're getting like a lifetime.

I need a video Vanguard award.

That's what I need.

A video vanguard.

We do videos.

Like that's possible.

There are other lifetime achievement awards, a Nobel Peace Prize.

Two things.

I totally forgot to tell you this.

Like, you came up on my feed today, like on TikTok in like a super cut.

Scoozy?

It was like a little compilation of little jokes you made on the Kellyanne show.

The Kellyanne show.

Jackie, I was cackling.

You are funny.

Like, I know you are because we do this together, but like, it sucks because I'm just like an animal with steamerls and everything.

Oh my God, I was cackling.

You're just like an old shoemaker with all these old shoes.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

You were being so funny.

I enjoyed every minute of that super cut.

Thank you so much.

And thank you for reminding me to let everyone know if you like want somewhere me in your life, Kelly Ann.

Kellyanne is a makeup artist, makeup ex Ka.

I do call her Ka mostly, but for the

on the video, I really tried to call her Kelly Ann.

And she does like really high-quality video series of makeup with like influencers, celebrities.

She does people's makeup.

She does tutorials.

And then sometimes she just like chit-chats with a girly and we both do our own makeup.

That's what she and I did.

And I guess it was super funny.

We recorded it months ago back when I was in Florida.

It was like so much fun and it was so glamorous.

It was so high production value and that was really fun.

But the video, what was I going to say about the, oh, the shoemaker shoes.

It's like, because I was asking her, like, do you always have like a perfect foch?

Because like, you're so great at makeup.

And she was, her answer was pretty much like no for a variety of reasons, but it is like the old saying, like the shoemaker wears old shoes.

You would think the shoemaker has the nicest shoes, but he's so busy fixing everyone else's that he's wearing old shoes.

Got it.

That's a good analogy.

Like shoemaker, do you live in a shuttle?

Like, I can't with you.

Um, and you just reminded me, even though, like, I don't know, it's supposed to come out today.

So I won't say what it is, but I just will say, like, I am putting out a piece of, well, I'm not putting out.

I was featured on a piece of content today.

That might be my best work ever.

I just got sent like the final cut two days ago because I was told it's coming out today, but I'm not sure if it is.

Is it?

Oh, okay.

Jackie, I've seriously, like, it's my best work.

Really?

Better than the toast?

Yeah, because you want to know why, first of all, it looked so pretty.

I was like feeling myself.

And two, I...

Like, it was all about you.

It was all about me.

Not about stories, not about your sister.

Exactly.

I also knew that like when I went on this platform, I would be speaking to people who aren't my usual folk.

It's mostly like younger Gen Z and like I wanted to impress them.

So I was kind of like on my A game and it might be like if I ever have to send in like a reel or something, I'm sending in this whole thing.

Okay.

I mean, honestly, I pretty much like know everything about you.

I've seen everything that you've done.

No, it's a star.

I'm constantly like.

in the midst of content with you, but I think I'll watch that.

Yeah, no, no, by the way, I trust you.

As if I didn't get enough turdy in my day.

It's so good.

I need to.

When when does it come out I don't know I thought it was today I don't know just not today no but I think it is well it's a west coast thing right yeah right so like it's still 654 there right right right so like there's no don't worry everybody looks it up it wasn't there no but I want to see like when their last episode came out two days ago

with one of your faves with one of my faves yeah so I'm gonna oh it's a twice a week thing people are doing that now I have the podcast now are doing twice a week our influence good guys good guys Mondays and Thursdays it makes sense yeah I mean they see successful women doing it five times and they're like, wow.

If you're not doing it twice a week, like seriously, what are you doing?

Oh my God.

I just realized how the 30-minute

30-minute like push-up is affecting me.

The 30-minute push-up of toast.

Okay.

How?

You forgot to brush your teeth?

No.

Your coffee?

Yeah.

Oh, because you didn't finish your coffee, so you're sitting with it.

Not only that, not only did I not finish my coffee, I didn't take a dump.

Oh.

And it's broken.

We didn't schedule your dump.

We like, we actually might have to pause.

Okay, here's the thing.

We could pause at 10.15.

Oh, because you have to get your bread out of the oven.

I was hoping Ben would take the lid off and turn the temperature down, but I could do that at 10.15 and you could for sure for choppa deuce.

That's in 20 minutes.

And I'm just letting you know, like, the pause is now.

Like, it's just, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry to everyone.

I'll be right back.

I'm back.

That was like suspiciously quick.

Let me tell you, I washed my hands first of all because I, well, I always wash my hands.

Did you wipe?

I did.

I washed my hands.

I wiped.

I studied not to be so rude.

It was in your children's bathroom.

And interesting, Johnson and Johnson switched to the cardboard refills for their

carton of milk doing in Jackie's kids' cup?

I saw Zach got it, I guess, from Amazon.

I hadn't experienced that yet.

I guess it makes sense.

Like, we didn't need a new bottle.

We just needed more fluid.

But yeah, it wasn't.

Good to see Johnson and Johnson like doing their part.

No, it's like so nice for them because like they get to cut costs and like send me a piece of shite.

And you get like this disintegrating piece of cardboard in your cupboard.

And then they get to say they're saving the world.

Can I tell you that kids, what is it, Johnson and Johnson?

Like it's what we've been using since like we were kids.

Yeah.

No tears, left to cry or whatever.

is it no tears i don't know it's i i use both the yellow and the purple okay so the yellow and the purple both they both are the best smelling thing i've ever smelled in my life and i i don't know if i told you this but i literally used it to give romeo a bath because i wanted romeo to smell like that what i didn't even know how to describe that scent it's my childhood it's like baby delicious it's so good and johnson and johnson at present like it's not like the cleanest but is that hard for you no i i i dabble in everything like we do have our clean shampoos and at home like we use them more and sometimes i'll like switch off or just use like the Johnson in the hair just to get a little scent of it.

But it's not like every day, all the time, but it is a special treat.

No, they couldn't come up with a smell like that without using toxic chemicals.

That's like how I am with my own like shampoos and body washes.

Like I mostly use clean stuff, but every once in a while, like I need the good stuff.

You get a little dirty.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that stuff.

Like seriously, it's crack to me.

That smell.

I love it.

Yeah.

So that's what I was doing on the John.

And yes, fun fact about me, it's like I can go to the bathroom, number one, or number two, like so super fast.

It's really one of my favorite things about me because people are like oh i can't poop like out of my house like really i'm in and out in the work in a in a starbucks like i can do it anywhere that's great you should be proud no i'm not proud per se but i i will say it's something i like like about myself and i and i use to my advantage you definitely did you know who was in my dream last night our girl we have so many serena williams

Because you know when you swipe to the left or you swipe right and then you go to the left on your phone, it shows you like a random collection of photos.

Yes, of course.

What are they called?

Moments or memories.

Yesterday and the the day before.

Both days I got that picture of me, you, and Serena Williams, which you guys know is My Room and Empire, as the worst photo ever taken of Claudia Oshri.

I was attacked yesterday and the day before, and that's why Serena was in my dreams because I was thinking about her.

Got it.

Was she apologizing to you?

Have you ever seen that photo?

No, I don't see it as much as you do.

Obviously, your phone knows that it's an important photo to you, like in a negative way.

But every time you show it to me, like I am a bit staggered.

Yeah, no, I'm not being dramatic.

I would like to see it again.

Okay, Okay, let me pull it up.

Maybe it's in my moments for today.

Like, seriously, a featured photos.

That's what it is.

Like, why is it even...

Maybe you favorited it once just to always reference it and then

your featured photos.

That's literally what I did.

Because my featured photos are a lot of like photos that have been.

You're right.

It's literally my third favorited photo.

Oh, my God.

It's really crazy.

That's really bad, right?

And because you look cuter.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, this was obviously a time in my life.

And I know you guys would see this photo and I will fucking never show it to you.

I know you guys would see this photo and be like, oh, you hate it because like you're fatter.

When I tell you like my weight has nothing to do with what's so ugly about this photo, first of all, upper lip, where are you?

Two, eyeliner, chill, like seriously, chill.

Three, spray tan.

Ever hurt?

Like I'm so desperately in need of a spray tan.

You know what I'm gonna do?

You're gonna photoshop it?

Okay, I am going to, that's it.

Okay, I'm gonna use like all my apps, all my tips.

Like seriously, I'm gonna make myself a completely different human being and then I'll post it.

Okay.

Or like just to fulfill some sort of like need inside me to see what this photo really should look like.

Or could just like let it go.

No, no.

Oh my God.

Why on earth?

No, I think a better use of our energy would be like to try and take a new photo with Serena Williams.

Oh, I love that idea.

I just feel like she's even harder to access now than she was back then.

Like we're so lucky to have this photo.

She goes to a lot of events.

And I feel like it's not that uncommon.

Like if she were hosting an event, that like you would get invited as like an influencer, come meet Serena.

Maybe she has a new win beauty line yeah

okay like honestly even this editing is not fucking helping

like some photos are just truly beyond repair let's go a little bit more okay and then there's this like little thing you can do I can do this later don't worry yeah where I can like make my phone

where I could just like make my space smaller now we've exhausted our 12 minutes of extra time oh okay that's better I'll work on it I'll work on it Just know like just like stop why don't you delete the picture?

No, what would we talk about quarterly if I did?

tarik okay that works i have a purple heart anyways are you joining the military or not

i love my country but i actually think i would be doing a disservice with my service like i'm the last person who should join the military like seriously the complaining the food like worse than cadet kelly

By the way, Cadet Kelly was like good at her shit.

She was a trooper.

She had a rough start.

I think a lot of young folks.

It's a lot.

It's a culture shock.

I would never adjust to like all of it.

You don't have to wear your hair in like the tightest button.

Like I would have to...

That part I would like.

be complaining the whole time about like my headache and then just the clothing.

Like I just know it wouldn't.

The waking up early, the you know, quarters drop on the bed.

That part you'd be good at, the making the bed.

Yeah, I would.

Maybe I could be like the monk maid or something because like I'm not doing the push-ups, but I'll clean the quarters.

But you can enlist for like, you could be a cook in the army.

You could be a doctor in the army.

You don't have to like be like, you know, in battle.

And maybe I could be the maid, like the chambermaid.

I do think like a good way for us to serve our country, we're actually having this conversation because a lot of military wives are toasters.

And there are a lot of toasters in the military

not as many toasters in the military but you know given the gender uh demographics of our show like it is more and of the army and of the army like okay facts um like we're not just like making stuff i didn't like just want to like stumble into a conversation i don't want to about gender yeah i just i don't want to be here i'm leaving yeah um but we what we need to do is a uso tour like for the army wives and the female military members who are toasters yeah and the husbands and the men too if they want to come i mean who needs

no live Who needs a laugh?

I don't know.

I belly laugh more than somebody who's been to Iraq.

Like, seriously, I agree.

It would be the greatest thing we could do for our country.

And I don't know, like, where do you set those things up?

Like, I'm just putting it out.

Like, we want to do a USO tour.

We'd want to do Gizno Live at Fort.

Knox.

Have you like seen those iconic?

I feel like they don't do it so much anymore.

It was very much like an early 2000s thing.

I feel like post 9-11, everyone, like got on board for patriotism.

And there are so many iconic photos of like Jessica Simpson.

Jessica Simpson.

Katie Perry, like all the girlies, like wearing really cute, like America or camouflage-themed outfits, like doing USO tours, just like being beautiful and funny and charismatic and talented for the men who and women who serve in our country.

So it's kind of like a gargie-pargey thing.

I do see it sometimes still because I follow Gavin DeGras, and like he really respects our servicemen and women.

So he does like a lot of performances for them.

And I think other people do it too, but we've definitely like lost some of that energy.

Well, we're available, USO entertainment offices.

If you guys have had a live podcast, I really do think, like, of course, the military women would love it, but really for like the families.

Families.

Now, let me ask you a question because obviously when you think of like podcasts that you do a live show for the USO tour, like the toast isn't going to be the first.

No, it's not the most obvious choice, but I think like when you really think about it, you can really make it make sense.

And I think we would bring like a lot of laughter and light.

Not to be obnoxious.

Like, and I don't want it, but I'm just wondering, like, should you get paid for that?

Or no?

I don't know.

They kind of have like big budget.

It's literally

a federal defense fund.

Just like, I just would like a meal stipend or something.

I don't know.

The military has big money.

We can work it out on the remix.

No, the question I was going to ask is: like, obviously, we don't come to mind as like the most obvious choice for a USO tour.

What podcast does Joe Roger?

Yeah.

I feel like everybody in the Army is like real free thinkers.

Yeah, but also it's also the number one podcast in the world.

So like the odds are that it's the number one podcast in the barracks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true.

That's true.

Well, just an idea.

I think also they would like Huberman.

I don't know.

I think they would like Theo Vaughan.

I think they would like Theo Vaughn too.

We're just putting it out there.

So if like whoever conducts like the entertainment.

I guess they wouldn't like Huberman because Huberman's like, you know, get outside before 7 a.m it's like well you've been here so

on our roll call says we have to be in the bunk at 7 a.m like no honestly i think everything huberman preaches like are privileges not afforded to you whilst in the army but i actually think everything huberman preaches is probably Part of the regimen in the army.

Like you do get up and see the sun.

Of course.

You do not have coffee before you eat food.

But that's not for wellness.

That's just for the schedule.

But maybe like the army like is trying to get them well and they're on the same page.

And they're on to something.

Yeah, like they're living a healthy lifestyle and that's all Huberman's trying to say.

They know something we don't know.

No, they know, like, just obvious things that some people need, like, Huberman, to tell them.

Wait, there is low-key an army base in the Hamptons.

Yeah, there is.

We pass it every time we drive to the West Hampton Theater.

There is.

It's in West Hampton.

We're going to start our tour there.

Just an idea.

Like, we'll never, this tour will never break out of West Hampton.

No matter how hard we try.

Like, we want to go national, but like, the USO needs us in the Hamptons.

Yeah, we can't get off Long Island.

Next will be at West Point.

I'm so down.

I don't think West Point's in Long Island.

I think it's very much in Long Island.

Really?

Didn't you go there?

No.

On a class trip?

Yeah.

No.

I've never been there.

You've never been.

It's a fabulous place.

I could see you like having gotten to West Point.

Was there anyone in your grade who went to West Point?

No.

Was there anyone in your grade who went to West Point?

Yes.

I wonder what, how he's doing.

So it's in West Point, New York, which like isn't super helpful.

Right, right, right.

That's, I guess we should have gathered that West Point was in West Point.

No, like it could have been in Jericho.

Yeah.

West Point, New York.

So it's 95 miles from where we currently are.

Yes.

And then probably is Long Island.

Wait.

No, no.

No, no.

It's like upstate to the left

by like Hudson.

Oh, oh, oh, beautiful too.

Beautiful.

Cold Spring near there.

All's that to say, we are available.

and ready to serve our country in whatever.

And then, of course, once we're on the base, like they'll do like a little like skit for like social media with us where like they make us do like an army crawl.

Like that is like my dream.

Okay.

I actually did that when I was in Israel.

I went to an IDF base and they like put me through one of their like Krav Maga like sessions.

And then this obstacle course, like, let me tell you, that was seriously one of the hardest shits I've ever done.

But did they make a TikTok of it?

No.

We took pictures though.

This was kind of before TikTok.

Oh, okay.

But now you're ready to make a talk.

Oh, I'm so ready.

Okay.

Yeah.

So just putting that out there.

Have your people contact Bruno?

Brunus, he loves servicemen and women.

How are the stories today?

They're pretty good.

Okay.

Like, just there's a couple things we need to talk about regarding like pop culture, and that's what we're going to do.

So I think now without further ado, to do to do, and we already burned the 12 minutes that we had allocated.

It is time for the fast five stories that you need to know.

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She said what she said.

Are you ready for our first story?

Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson break up, call off their engagement after seven years together.

So this is just breakup season, apparently.

Did anybody know that?

No, I think, do you think at all?

And maybe I'm just crazy, like celebrity publicist timeline.

Like maybe they've been broken up for a couple of weeks and they haven't, they're looking for the right moment.

Oh, Molly Mae and Tommy broke up.

Like, let's share with them.

Foster and Tommy Haas, like, because then they're just sort of grouped in together and you're not thinking about one solo breakup in solitude.

Perhaps.

And I think that these two, like as much, it's weird because on the one hand, like they're a long-term relationship.

This is sad to see, but I don't know if anybody's like personally invested in their relationship.

No, maybe Ellen DeGeneres, because you know she like sits up and stabs needles of

into her Dakota Johnson voodoo doll.

For me, and not to make everything about myself, this is crazy for me because like you telling me that these people have been together for seven years.

Like I remember where I was when I, you know, saw the first picture of them.

That was seven years ago.

Time needs to stop moving so quickly.

Time is flying.

Seven years.

There was something.

Oh, you want to hear something crazy that I was just thinking about?

I love to hear crazy things that you're thinking about.

We have been doing the Redheads.

Oh, for let me guess.

Let me guess.

Three years.

And like our February anniversary will be our five years.

Wow.

That's a long time.

That's a long time for a passion project.

And that's a long time for a podcast, even.

Yes.

Well, then I was thinking not to make everything about myself.

Like we were doing this show when Dakota and Chris Martin started dating.

So like we have literally been doing the show forever.

Yeah.

Like slay, not us like still crushing it.

Yeah.

Well, let's talk about that.

Do we have to?

Okay, I do want to talk about them because like a part of me is sad.

I feel like they were such a solid couple and they had such a good thing going.

And like why after seven years?

Like

what happened, what changed?

You knew who he was.

You knew who she was.

Like you knew like where she would like have a messy bathroom and vice versa.

No, I thought that these two were a fabulous couple.

I cannot lie.

I loved the Gwyneth co-parenting.

Like that whole ecosystem seemed to be going really really well i think they're equal levels of fame and wealth i think they probably have similar personalities they're both like a little granola i feel i this was a celebrity couple i barely thought of like i didn't think of them every day maybe not even every week but every time i did i'm like they were always like solid doing serious things

blending their families.

I feel sorry for Gwyneth because like Dakota is her friend.

Yeah.

And now it's like, okay, who's Chris going to bring into the house next?

Like, am I going to like this person?

Rotating door of women.

Am I going to like this person being around my children?

Like they had a nice thing going.

They did.

Now it's destabilized.

I don't like destabilization.

She doesn't like destabilization, and I don't like anti-disestablishmentarianism, you know?

And you're not wrong for that.

No, I'm not.

People try and tell you, like, Turdy, you should like it.

Like, shut up.

I know.

They're always kind of coming from my neck in the comments.

I can't believe Turdy doesn't like anti-disestablishmentarianism.

And to that, I say.

Are you anti-anti-disestablishmentarianism or are you pro-disestablishmentarianism?

I am anti-anti-disestablishmentarianism.

So you're pro-disestablishmentarianism?

Exactly.

Although that's not a word.

Actually, why wouldn't it be?

Why wouldn't it be?

It's just, is it the second longest word because it's one letter less than anti-disestablishmentarianism?

You mean it's four letters less?

No, pro.

Oh, oh, no, no, no, but you don't have to be pro.

You could just be disestablished.

No, pro.

Oh my God.

And do you know what anti-disestablishmentarianism means?

Like communism?

Opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England.

Oh, so you are pro-disestablishment.

Wait, I don't get it.

Wait, no, so we're anti-disestablishment.

Like you like the Church of England, right?

You have no problem.

Do you want to dismiss?

Well, I feel like this is a loaded question.

Like, I don't know the history.

I'm sure there's like stuff in there I don't agree with.

But like the Church of England, no, they're not on my list of nemeses.

Right.

So you are anti-people who want to disestablish it.

Yes, I'm an anti-disestablishmentarianist.

Great.

Learn something new about myself every day here at the toast.

And is it still the longest word in the dictionary?

It is estimated to be the sixth longest word in the Oxford dictionary.

Wait, who's going to tell that girl from the Pacifier movie?

She's always like, anti-disestablishmentarianism.

The longest word.

Let me say.

Listen, you guys, I can barely pronounce the Maj Dijon.

I've got to take the lid off my bread.

You work on that.

Pneumon.

Ow, you stepped on my toe.

Oh my God, my toe is broken.

Oh, my God.

You're so dramatic.

Pneumano ultramicroscopic silica-lavanonic coniosi.

That didn't sound right.

Pneumonu, pneumano, ultramicroscopic silicovolcaniosis.

Literally slate it.

Pneumanu ultramicroscopic silicovanoliosis.

Something of that nature.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel like I got it.

And there's like a, oh my God, you said to my fucking toe again.

Someone took the lid off.

Oh my God, it's going to be a little bit more.

No, I had texted Ben, but he like, I could sense from his answer, like, it wasn't perhaps going to happen.

So I'm like, I can just do it, but someone did it.

It's really a team effort around here.

So you came and broke my toe twice for no reason.

Yeah, but you know what?

Like I burned myself earlier and you don't hear me complaining.

Okay, I just want you to know like you got up, you like changed everything.

You're literally out of frame.

Like come closer to me.

I know it pains you.

I'm literally in frame.

I always sit on the crack.

Come close.

No, no.

When you sit on the crack, you have to be on the other side of the crack.

I'm in the frame.

You're in frame, but like not in the way that you need to be.

Like my spot is still warm.

Sure.

This is where I sit.

Nothing feels different.

So back to Dakota and Chris.

Let me say this.

I'm upset.

I am like potentially excited about the idea of Dakota being back on the singles list because I think she's fabulous.

Like I think this is another thing I talk about.

Not quarterly.

I would say like biannually.

I really like that bitch.

Like I think she's got style.

She's got grace.

She's got pizza.

She's one of my favorite Nepo babies.

And it's exciting to see what she has up her sleeve.

Yeah, though, I don't know.

I feel like she's like a tough, like not, not what you would think.

Like she's going to need like a quirky guy.

Like I actually feel like Chris Martin was like the right.

Yeah.

And all is that to say like the right guy for her.

If we went to the same high school, like I probably wouldn't have liked her.

Like I don't think we would get along personality-wise, but I like what I see from afar.

That's how I feel about a lot of people that I like as celebrities.

It's like, we're probably not going to, you know,

gal around town, but.

I like you from afar.

Well, that's also important to remember when you're talking about celebrities who like act or sing is if you went to high school with them, like they would have been in the theater department.

And, you know, obviously there's a stereotype and a stigma about those kids and if you were not of that life like you probably would have thought they were weird yeah like at the end of the day all celebrities even like the hottest coolest ones at their core if they do acting or singing or theater like at their core they were like probably like nerdy in high school you just have to keep that in mind and or they've been in Hollywood for so long that they're not real people like they don't know how to function yeah that's how I'm feeling not to go back because it's not a story today but like Blake Lively the interviews that are resurfacing.

Like her personality in some of these interviews is just like not swirly.

No, not at all.

And it's like a combination of things.

Like one, this is a theater, an artist.

Like I don't want to hang or talk with an artist, okay?

I do not want to hang or talk with an artist.

Okay.

Yeah.

And like the way her and Parker Posey are talking in an interview like

artists talking about their like nonsense art.

Like I don't want to be a part of the conversation.

I don't even want to hear the conversation.

By the way, we're not going to like get into it, but that Parker Posey thing was a major throwback.

I'm like, Josie and the pussycats.

Yeah.

I was, oh my God, I couldn't

place her.

She's like the main manipulator.

She's the main manipulator.

I want to say this because I have long been up until the saga, like Team Blake.

And those interviews that have been reservicing, like are genuinely cringe, especially that one with the baby bump.

That one, Parker Posey, is horrible.

People are like pulling videos.

A lot of videos have gone viral.

And I don't think they're as.

you know, harmful as people say they are, like the friendship bracelet.

As at the, it ends with us premiere, somebody gave her a bracelet.

And she was like, oh my God, thank you so much.

Like, I'm going to give it to my, whatever, because it doesn't like go with my outfit.

Like, fine.

And then like, people are like, that's so rude because other people put them on like directly.

Okay.

No, like literally she's dressed to the nines.

This is her big night.

She doesn't want to wear an ugly bracelet.

Like, stop.

Why would she wear your like a homemade bracelet?

Not only that, like, that didn't bother me at all.

The Parker Posey one is different.

But I am not into this thing where we now go back and like assess people's behavior from the last 30 years.

To me, even the most amazing person on the planet, everybody has bad moments, right?

And it's unfortunate that so many of these were filmed.

But you're going to pluck every single one.

So say, and by the way, if there's like four or five over the last 15 years of her career, that's actually like not a lot.

But then to draw this correlation when it's like, but what about all the other stuff?

Does that prove your point?

If not, like then your point,

you've got a problem.

But I don't like going to old interviews to make your point from today, especially all of those interviews were public.

You saw them.

If you did not have a problem with them at the time and no one did, and no, this narrative, there was never this narrative of Blake Lively that she's like rude or whatever.

No one had a problem with these interviews, like to now

use them against her for this larger point.

Like the argument doesn't land for me.

Although I will say, just to correct you,

that Parker Posey one was uploaded to YouTube two days ago.

The entertainment journalist who's, I think she's European and she's like kind of a, like a Juliana Rancic, if you will.

She just uploaded.

She must be having the time of her life because she obviously fucking hates and she uploaded being like, this is the interview that like literally made me want to quit my job.

I do believe this is the first time it's ever hit the interwebs.

She never published it.

Would you?

I mean, that's so what?

They got an interview with Blake lively and then they don't put it out.

I think.

Really?

I think she literally was uploaded to YouTube like this week.

Maybe like again, but it never came out for the first time.

I don't think so.

That's so crazy.

Because why, like, because it was just

like, why even?

Now, watching it, we see that it's because Blake looks bad, but like, why would they not post that?

That's interesting, too.

And then she did another interview right after.

Like, she was sitting and doing interviews all day.

Like, where are all those interviews?

What was she like in those interviews?

Anyways, also to say, yeah, two artists talking about their art.

Like, no, thanks.

Unsubscribe.

Like, that's not.

And also, that one was like a Woody Allen movie.

So it wasn't like a Deadpool.

It was like Series A Cafe Society in the world.

I was sorry, but that actually makes it like more insufferable.

Like, but I think they're talking about something

like that and not a Deadpool, like non-serious movie.

At least like Woody Allen, like they're all taking their stuff so seriously.

Yeah.

She was in a Woody Alley movie.

Alley

movie?

I guess so.

That's kind of crazy.

I didn't know that.

That's so interesting.

Anyways, all to say, yet stop being surprised when celebrities have bad personalities.

They're literally theater geeks.

They're theater geeks who like have been like

who have their whole life been dismissed, mocked, whatever.

And now they're cooler, famous, and more rich than everyone who's ever been mean to them like of course and i feel like for blake i feel like for blake live i actually feel like maybe she wasn't at theater geek i feel like she was so gorgeous and beautiful like she later graduated high school and then was in sisterhood of the traveling pens and she was probably like the most popular girl in her high school also that person like can't talk to her you can't talk to them so true and now she's been in hollywood for over 15 years like she was serena she's ryan reynolds wife like she's the most she's the pageant queen like stop taylor shift's best friend expecting her to be a relatable person so true even though i feel like what I've learned about her through this process, which like seriously, I wasn't someone who kept up with her up before a week ago, is that there are a lot of parts of her life that are deeply relatable.

Like you wouldn't think she would be such a hands-on mom and such a,

like they say, she's like a full working mom.

Like she works full-time and she's also a full-time caretaker.

So I feel like there are actually a lot of things about her that you wouldn't expect.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Looks like that crisis PR that Justin Bell Doni hired is working.

Now that you're like in it a little bit more, do you see, like, I feel like the everyone has side, like Blake Lively Lively is a they're trying to cancel Blake Lively right now.

Like I feel like Justin Bell Doni has won.

It's ongoing.

Yeah.

Well, the allegations.

The battle, but the war is ongoing.

Yeah, because there were allegations that came out about him, but they were small.

And I think the internet kind of shrugged them off that like he made comments about Blake Lively's weight

and that he lingered when they had like kissing scenes.

She felt uncomfortable because he like kissed her like way past what was necessary.

So I saw that and of course like she's postpartum and of course that like raises the hair on the back of your neck like you don't make a comment and then I saw that like he was asking what her weight was because he has to pick her up in a scene and he has back problems like shut up Okay, if you can't like pick up a lady doesn't matter if she lost the last 10 pounds You can't pick her up

Don't be the big strong man.

I don't want a

leading man with back problems.

No, and I just want to say like and now yes I am firmly team blake So maybe you guys are Claudia you're being crazy But like I want to say this is a man who all he does is wake up and care about women, right?

That's what people say about him.

And he obviously knows the first rule of women, you don't ask their weight.

Right.

So it's like you, if you can't, if you love women so much, like you should

risk an injury before asking anyone.

And he didn't ask Blake directly.

He went about it in the proper channels.

Like he asked like the worst.

He asked the coordinator.

Worst.

So everyone on set talking about her weight.

Right, right.

So I just want to say, like, you care about women so much.

You risk an injury.

You risk paralysis of your back before asking a woman's weight, especially a woman who just had her fourth child.

Yeah.

But like, I'm sorry, if you like can't do the dirty dancing move, like you can't play the leading man.

Then you're not a leading man.

My romantic family.

You are not a leading man.

If you need to know how much a woman weighs before, if you can lift her up, like you can't lift up any women.

Yeah.

Fired.

So I saw that.

And the lingering kiss thing, but these are like, if those are the big charges, I actually saw a good theory that was like, I think Justin leaked those things because it makes Blake look bad that like the whole cast and crew was against Justin for like these two small things.

That can really be explained away, like for real.

Yeah.

Like lingering on a kiss too much.

I can see that.

That's not a thing.

They're done with kissing.

If you don't like kissing, don't do the movie.

And maybe you should be like that actor from Desperate Housewives who doesn't kiss anyone who isn't his wife.

Every day I wake up and think about that guy, and he makes more and more sense to me.

Like watching Blake and Ryan on a red carpet for a movie where she is intimate with like two men who like seriously look like him for his same age and like why not him?

Yeah.

It's so weird to me.

Agreed.

It's so weird that Ryan Reynolds interviewed Brendan Sklarner.

Sklarner, yeah.

It's so weird to me.

No, that guy, he's onto something.

He's really onto something.

It's so weird.

And don't get me twisted.

Like, I'm becoming a movie star.

Like, I'm taking all the roles.

Ben's becoming a movie star.

You're the guy from Mr.

Cross.

Seriously, could you imagine kissing another guy for a movie?

Oh, it like seriously gives me the willies.

It was so weird.

That's why I'm saying, like, stop expecting actors and actresses to like be sinpatigo with the lay people.

They're they're not they kiss people that aren't their husbands and then make their husband go interview them there's obviously people who are deeply on wild like they're just different different

built different

for the art okay so that wasn't a story but like that was your catch-up there's your catch-up chris and dakota are done like seriously check on gwenna love is dad love died this week that's who am i love rip love this week still no update on nally may and tommy we wait

and we pray we pray.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

Two great people coming together.

Not romantically, but musically.

Even better.

Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars dropped a collab song last night called Died with the Smile.

So Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars just woke up and decided, like, let's have a great day.

To be gift givers.

Like, let's make today a great day for everyone.

It's Bruno Weinreb's birthday.

Bruno Weinreb is named after Bruno Mars because that's Zach and I's favorite artist

together.

And he was like, happy birthday, Bruno.

Here's a new song with Lady Gaga, Bruno's mommy's favorite artist.

To be honest, like these are two people who haven't released new music in a really long time.

And there's like a lot of anticipation for both of them.

So for them to have come at it together, and these are two people who are deeply talented when it comes to performing, songwriting, vocals.

You actually, there isn't enough hype for this.

Like, and I love that they didn't see that coming in three weeks.

Oh, we're releasing a song.

You have a few hours to get ready.

I loved every part of this.

Yeah.

And the song itself, I've listened to it once musically, so good.

They sound so good.

I could see, it's like slow and fast.

It's, it's great.

And I know that it's going to grow on me.

And this is what they said about their collaboration.

I didn't even know these two like knew each other.

I know.

Gaga said, Bruno and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other.

And we're talking about collaborating.

This is literally something I would say.

I was finishing up my own album in Malibu, and one night after a long day, Bruno asked me to come to his studio to hear something he was working on.

It was around midnight when I got there, and I was blown away when I heard what he had started making.

Do you think it was silk sonic like that's what he had played for her or the collab no i think this is like future okay gaga said she and mars both stayed up all night to finish writing and recording the instantly timeless ballad she said bruno's talent is beyond explanation it's so true his musicianship say anything about romeo in there

His musicianship and vision is next level.

You hear that?

There's no one like him, she said.

This is why it's so important to like live in a good neighborhood because you never know who's going to text you in the middle of the night being like, hey, can you come by

and like help me out with this thing?

Next thing you know, you're on this huge feature.

Yeah.

This is probably why my music career hasn't taken off because I don't live in Malibu.

This is a standalone single rather than the first taste of an upcoming album by either of them, but this shows that they were both working on music when they worked on this together.

So like not only do we have this collab right now, we also have the promise of a new Lady Gaga and a new Bruno Mars album.

And that's what the world actually needs, a new Bruno Mars album.

Yeah.

Bruno Mars can unite the world.

He's the only one.

We also have like a referendum on Bruno Mars every couple of months and perhaps I don't want to talk about where has he been.

No gambling debts.

No, and that's all rumors.

And, you know, we never give into rumors here.

But I was like, honestly, it's like his namesake

who's fallen into major debt.

I

remember a time when like Bruno Mars, remember that year where he won every single Grammy and then like seriously went on tour for four years for the same album?

Like.

They don't make albums like that anymore where you have an album so good that of course you sweep, but that you can seriously tour it and make millions and millions off of it for years to come.

Silk Sonic, obviously, was like cool, but not

at that level.

And I think it was a fun passion project for him.

I don't think the two of them are like a duo for life.

And I liked, you know, that one part.

This bitch got me paying the rent, paying for trips, diamonds on her neck, diamonds on her wrist.

Like I loved it.

But I need the Bruno, you know, the Bruno.

And I love how Bruno doesn't like play these Hollywood games.

Like, he just kind of like does his own thing.

Like, I love him.

No, I absolutely love and adore him.

Like, everything he does puts a smile on my face.

And it makes sense that his song is called Die With a Smile.

And I just think when he was born and growing up, he was probably like, oh my God, like, why am I short?

Like, he would probably, like, it's a huge, he's really, he's probably my height.

Like, he is super, super short.

And I think his whole life, it was probably this thing that plagued him.

Like, as being, you know, being a man, the worst thing you can be is short.

Like, you can be seriously like the ugliest person alive, but if you're six feet, like, girls are like, oh my God.

And now, with retrospect, I'm sure he understands why he like he would be too powerful.

Like, he's super handsome.

Yeah.

Super talented.

You can't be all of those things.

If he was tall.

Or maybe if he was tall, he would have just like rested on that because he's like so good looking.

And then he'd be tall and he'd be like, okay, everybody loves me.

And he has a great voice.

Like, so we would get girls.

Yeah.

But like, you know, having to prove himself.

It was the best thing that ever happened.

Proveth maketh man.

If he had been a foot taller, he wouldn't be Bruno Mars.

He would just be some guy.

He probably would like sing at like a local cafe.

Yeah.

And get like lots of girls and say, this is the life.

Hold on tight.

He probably had like 11,000 Instagram followers.

You know, guys like that.

Yeah, yeah.

And verified because he bought it.

No, and like, yeah, he would have some shirtless pics.

Yeah.

Oh, bought verification.

Agreed.

Not bought followers.

Like, not 11,000.

He would have 11,000 solids from local community events, but his verification would be because he paid for it, not because

he earned it.

He has so many like fake accounts of him that they don't know which one's the real Bruno.

So all's to say.

Thank you.

Thank you.

To Gaga and Bruna.

Exciting.

We're going to be blasting it this weekend.

Oh, yeah.

Are you ready for our next story, which is a little more music news?

Number three?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So even though we are a part of Big Katie, we are going to share negative news about her because a probe has been launched into Katie Perry over her illegal video shoot in Ibiza.

Wait, what?

The authorities in Spain are investigating U.S.

pop charges.

I can't catch a break.

Let me tell you, they are after Katie.

They're investigating her team due to a music music video shot illegally in a nature reserve on Ibiza.

Oh, no.

One thing you cannot fuck with is nature.

It's true.

The producers of the video had not applied for a filming permit, according to the Balaric Islands Ministry of Environment in Palma, on the main island of Mallorca.

They're not wrong for that.

Perry filmed the video for her new single Lifetimes on Ibiza and the neighboring island of Formentera.

The singer...

was initially unavailable for comment due to the filming carried out without permission.

Preliminary investigations have been initiated, the ministry said.

However, the authority emphasized that in principle, no environmental offense is suspected as photo and video recordings in the affected nature park are permissible with prior permission.

In the video, she can be seen in the holiday spirit, running and dancing through the dunes, jumping from rocks into the Mediterranean Sea, or partying in clubs.

Okay, what does this remind you of?

Vanessa Hudgens carving her brain into a tree.

Jackie, we literally have the same brain.

I can't believe you said that.

It's the same thing every single day.

We know the same story.

Remember when Austin Butler and Vanessa and Hudgens were like the best couple ever and they were just living their life posting on Instagram, they carved their initials into a tree.

Turns out the tree they carved it into was like a part of this nature preserve.

It was like a thousand-year-old tree.

And like they seriously, I think they had to pay a fine.

They got in so much trouble and they had to delete the Instagram.

This reminds me of that.

Although it sounds like she didn't do any damage and the part that she like filmed in is a part you can film in.

You just need proper credentials.

It's crazy to film a music video without a permit.

And I know.

And it's like, okay, independent artists.

Yeah, they're like running in the middle of the night to this nature preserve, like filming on an iPhone.

You literally are one of the biggest artists in the world.

Like get the fucking permit.

Yeah, you need a permit for everything.

Unexcusable.

And let me just say this: in my adult life, like I have come to really respect and

be grateful for like these nature preserves.

There's one nearby here.

I've been going to it, like going on hikes that they're so well taken care of because of annoying rules like this.

And you can't just like pull up with a crew and start filming in my hiking path.

Like I actually, I think these rules are in place for a reason.

And so many of the most beautiful parts of this country, of this planet, are what they are because there are like, you know, committees.

dedicated to taking care of it.

And I'm sorry, these rules need to be abided by, not to be like a Karen in an ark, but they do.

Yeah, I agree.

so not cool do better katie literally do better although lifetimes so good so i really like the sound of new katie sound i know what you're gonna say that i don't surface the what surface lyrics like she says nothing in the music fine by me like i don't need all of my music to like go beneath the surface we have tailor for that yeah we have a lot of deep music like sometimes i just need a bop um the visuals like i'm not like loving the visuals so like this video i barely even saw it but like everything is just like her running around in in a bathing suit.

Like, it's not doing it for me.

I agree.

Wait, also, I meant to tell you about a song that you need to listen to because I know like you've sort of, and you've sort of, like, not been hit with chapel rone.

And the more I think about it, like, there's a lot of chapel run music like I don't think you would like.

Pink Pony Club, like, that's your new song.

Okay.

Just add it to your list.

Okay.

When we dance at the club, like, trust.

Okay.

I'll think about it.

Just do it.

My bread was taken out.

Thank you.

Like, remember when I put you onto Megan Maroney?

Was I wrong about that?

No, you weren't.

You weren't.

Are you ready for our fourth story?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

Oh my God, no.

I didn't think you were.

Are you?

I wasn't.

But then you say you were.

So I said, okay.

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Our next story, Taylor Swift is back doing shows.

So she did London Wembley Stadium last night, brought out Ed Sheeran.

Very exciting.

Did like a little medley of all the songs they've done.

It's so funny.

It's like all my least favorite Taylor songs are the Ed Collabs.

Like, I don't like any of them except Endgame.

Everything.

Oh, I like

Endgame.

Oh, I do.

I like everything has shaped.

I really like that little rap.

Oh, my God.

And I got to talk about my shoulders.

Reputation.

Like, that song is actually eat.

And the performance in The Reputation Tour, like, really gave me a new respect for that song.

Like, that song is good.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

That is so funny.

It's not my favorite.

Like, Forever Winter, that

red

bonus track.

What are they called?

Vault song with Ed Shira.

Like, not my favorite.

Did they sing that too?

No, that was.

They just did everything has changed and end game.

And then Thinking Out Loud.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

His song.

Like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Really cute.

And that's her friend.

And he's British.

So that's fun.

Oh, my God.

And like, who is like more important to the British people?

That's like...

If you were there, that's probably like the best thing to ever happen to a British person.

Yeah.

And I do feel like she usually brings out people of lesser, like, star quality.

Collaborators who are not on her level.

Yeah, like people who have opened for her yep to bring out like someone so major like that's pretty pretty freaking cool okay there is also um

a lot of people talking about this this is obviously the first show she's done since the vienna cancellation and since the

is it the first show since the stabbing um i'm not sure i feel like no I think maybe like Munich or one of those Warsaw.

Warsaw.

Yeah.

That was weird.

Warsaw.

So there's just like been a lot of like hype, obviously, for this, but also like given the context of what's going on and all in which I came before, literally.

And she did, she got like a little tear.

If you, in the opener, like, if you look at some of the Getty images and she like took a moment to like look around, which she always does, but she's very like, she doesn't cry, but she is like, you know, watery eyes.

Emo.

Emo.

I mean, it's, it's emotional.

Yeah, it's a lot.

And also, so she's in London.

The stabbing was in the UK.

She's also been met privately with the families of the victims of the stabbing attack.

Which we knew she would.

She's not like obnoxious.

She's not going to like post like pictures with everyone in the hospital beds.

Like she moves quietly and she does the right thing always and she goes above and beyond.

So like that's on her mind.

Plus the fact that like all of this was you know in someone's view to harm these people like it's a lot to take in.

And then also she's emerging like.

triumphant.

This is a huge huge moment.

This is like her sixth show at Wembley.

She's like making wreck.

No, I don't know how you don't cry.

It's emotional.

I don't know how you don't cry after Vienna.

Like nothing even happened in Vienna, but like you think about the magnitude of what it had happened.

And, you know, it's literally like, I don't know how Ariana Grande like ever got out of bed after what happened.

Like it's the, the weight of that is so, and I'm sure it's every artist's worst nightmare.

Like when you get to a level, like you become a target no matter what, like when you get to a certain level.

And

like obviously the gratitude you feel that it didn't happen, but also like the worry for every single show.

And I know that they stepped up their security precautions.

And I'm sure moving forward, it'll be even, you know, harder to get tickets and harder to what, like, but

like, how can you not cry?

Yeah.

And I'm so glad, you know, everything was good, yada, yada.

But

Pitt, Pitt, USA, like forever.

Yeah.

But night one, great.

Looking forward to see what she has in store for the rest of Wembley.

There are certain cities that are Taylor Swift coded.

Like New York is one of them.

You know when you're at a show.

That's why we went to Nashville.

Like, obviously, we love Nashville, but it's a very Taylor show city.

LA, Nashville, London, New York, pretty much anywhere she has a house.

Yeah.

Boston.

You know that these are, and all Taylor shows are big.

That's not what I'm saying.

But you know that like something major is going to happen also like there are so many of these cities that have songs about them like it's just there's so much lore of course every city

no but then paris right and then given the amount of shows that you do like i don't even think anything so crazy about la when it comes to taylor but

She did like eight shows.

So you know that's like a special city and London is just one of those cities.

Obviously, she loves London more.

She has a million songs with London in the title and all of her friends.

She spent like years living there.

So I think tonight we'll probably get something else, maybe reputation.

There's a lot of people are really waiting for reputation.

I'm not like the re-recordings are amazing.

I love what they've done for Taylor's career, but like personally, I don't need, I don't need them right now.

I need new music.

Yeah.

Not even because we have TTPD.

Like I'm, I'm satisfied.

I still haven't listened to the second half of TTPD really.

It's so crazy.

Like I've heard some of the songs, but it's

better.

It's better.

You're being insane.

I've heard some of the songs and it wasn't enough to make me like, I'm like, I keep going back to me starting at the beginning of the album, which for me is the song TTPD because Fortnite is a skip.

Wow.

Even though they mention move to Florida, buy the car you want.

That's literally your life story.

Yeah.

Give it a chance the second half.

Like, I'm telling you, you're wrong.

No, I'm not saying it's bad.

I'm just saying, like, I haven't made it there yet.

No, no, no.

And I had the same experience like the first couple of days.

I was like, I kept starting at the top.

And then I knew like the first, you know, half of songs so well.

And I didn't even know.

But now when I listen to the album, I start halfway.

It's better.

Okay.

Well, I have that experience waiting for me.

You just said you want new music.

I have new Taylor music.

So true.

When you move slow, like you always have new music.

I have so much new music waiting for me.

Yeah.

So are you ready for our fifth story?

Yeah.

A little exciting hosting news, actually, because Eugene and Dan Levy are officially set as the hosts of the Emmys.

So with less than a month.

That's good.

Yeah, with less than a month to go before the 76 Emmy Awards, the telecast hosts are finally set.

As expected, the father-son duo of Eugene Levy and Dan Levy.

I think they're like Levy, but I'm sorry.

Like L-E-V-Y, your name is Levy.

No, by the way, they are 1,000% Levy, but they're Canadian.

Stop.

But like, as Jews, like, we know it's a Jewish last name, like, Levy.

They're like trying to run from it.

Stop.

You're Levy.

You're Jewish.

Stop.

Literally, Levy.

Levy.

Stop.

Like, stop.

What are you doing?

Yeah.

I like this, by the way.

They will MC this year's Emmys, which take place on Sunday, September 15th, live on EBC.

This is great.

They kind of cover all bases with this.

Like, Eugene Levy is like so old school, so respected.

Dan Levy is like new, Hollywood Nepo.

Like, it's really, I think this is good, even though it's like a thankless job that everybody fails at.

And like, who the fuck would ever accept this?

Like, Eugene Levy doesn't need this grief no I think this is good I don't think they will fail like they are so beloved that I think even if they flopped like it would take a while for people to see it and I don't think they'll flop because they are so intrinsically talented I think having two hosts you can really lean on each other and like it takes away some of the like

like

the weight and the pressure, you know, if it doesn't go well, it's a 50-50.

And I think this is like a really good idea.

I agree.

And I think it has maximum potential for success.

I also like the

like move.

They're not, this is not an obvious choice.

We usually pluck from the same pool of like late night hosts.

Like if you're meeting Jimmy, good luck.

Literally.

And like the same pool, very small pool of comedians.

You know, that's why like Joe Coy was kind of like a rogue choice because that was crazy.

I know.

And it sucks because

it should have

worked because

like he is not one of these stereotypical comedians who just like regurgitate the same like talking points.

Like he's kind of a renegade.

He says crazy things.

And if he had crushed it, it would have been really good but he obviously didn't um

so i like that they're pulling from a new group of people it's like enough already with the same four people yeah so i like that part of this yeah i i think it has really good potential and there's like a lot of demand for you gene and dan because you know shit's creek like ended before it had to so they left us wanting more which is a great you know position to be in and i think anytime they do stuff together people eat it up because we need them we want them yeah but i want to know like what the relationship is like with that other sister like why did she kind of get the boot like why wasn't she Alexis, first of all?

And I have no complaints.

Like, Alexis Annie, she was amazing.

Like, I don't want it any other way.

But she got this kind of like low-level role when everybody else in the family got like starring roles.

She never gets marketed as like the people are shocked to find out that Twila is Dan Levy's sister, Eugene's daughter.

I don't think that they've shafted her.

Like, I think it's also probably something she wants.

Okay.

Like, I just, does nobody else think it's weird?

I do.

And if I'm Twyla, like, I'm pissed.

But she wound up being a main character.

I don't even know her name.

I don't even know her name.

Sarah?

I don't know.

Sarah Levy, Levy.

Her name is Twyla.

Her name is Twila.

Also, something else I wanted to talk about.

I'm so glad I remembered.

Something happened this week on The Bachelor that we have to talk about.

Oh my God.

Yes.

Because someone sent it to me.

So I'm going to take it from the top.

I'm going to go to this DM because the person like sent me literally everything that I needed to know.

I had seen the clip on TikTok and I was like, oh, we love that.

There's a Jewish contestant and he's like sharing about his history.

He has like, obviously, ancestors who survived the Holocaust.

There's a Jewish contestant on the bachelor.

His name is Jeremy Simon and he finally got a chance to solidify his connection with Jen.

One-on-one.

Who's a bachelorette?

He had a one-on-one.

They discussed their potential future together and he opened up about his Jewish heritage.

He said, being Jewish culturally is very important to me.

I don't expect you to convert.

I don't need you to convert, but eventually I do want kids.

He then went on to explain, trust, like you guys, pay attention.

Because seriously, this play is about us.

Seriously, pay attention.

This is like the craziest thing.

He then went on to explain that he wants his kids kids to have some sort of Jewish identity to honor where they've come from and the violence and oppression that Jews have faced in the past.

So he said that his grandmother, her grandfather was Rabbi Avram Dov Bear Khana Shapiro, and he was a very famous rabbi in Lithuania who died in the country because he wouldn't leave during World War II.

So let me tell you, when I saw this clip, I was like, oh my God, me and this guy, Jeremy, like we have very similar backgrounds because our family

is in Lithuania, and especially in like the rabbinical Jewish community.

We are obviously very proud of Rabbi Ephraim Ashri, an ancestor of ours who made huge, huge, he's like literally famous during and after the Holocaust.

He survived.

He wrote this book.

And I was like, oh, look at us, me and Jeremy.

So Jeremy's grandmother's grandfather, Rabbi Avraham, was the last chief rabbi of Kovno and the author of a three-volume collection of books.

And then on his Wikipedia page, Jeremy's

grandpa.

Isn't that just a, why we keep saying grandma's grandpa?

It's your great grandpa.

Great, great, grandpa.

Yeah, something like that.

One of his students, on his Wikipedia page, one of his students included Ephraim Ashrei, that's our boy of

Shalos Uchuvos Mamachim.

So it's response that was the name of his book.

He wrote a book of questions that he got during the Holocaust because he was the, like, he was like the rabbi of the ghetto.

Like, they rounded up all these Jews who were like practicing Jews, giving them no food or water or places to sleep.

And they're like, how do we do our customs without khala, without candles, without literally literally anything?

Yeah.

And so he wrote down all of the questions and the answers that he gave them.

I think he like buried them.

Buried them in milk cans, like in the ghetto.

He survived the war.

He went back, retrieved those like milk cans that he had literally buried into the ground and then published everything that he had experienced and wrote.

I wrote about this in my book, if you guys are curious about it.

Or you could read his book.

Like, what if you just ordered Rabbi Frai Mashre's book?

Yeah, it's called Responsa in English, the translation.

It's actually really hard to find.

There's like, it's like thousands of dollars because like everybody wants that.

Yeah, that's our ancestry.

We are like literally elite in that sense and very proud and so crazy so proud and for sure you need to contact Jeremy we are related to Jeremy Simon because if you think about it like oh my god we are if his grand like his ancestor was the just listen if his ancestor was the chief rabbi and then our ancestor was a very high up rabbi then they would have made a shit off for sure what's his last name simon i'm just gonna ask olivia she would know like she actually did

find his family tree but wait but also the name of his ancestor was Dubert Kahana Shapiro.

Oh my God, what are you doing?

Olivia and Shapiro?

Okay, is there a Simon family or Shapiro family?

Dover Kahana Shapiro.

On our family tree.

Olivia would know.

She's like always keeping records of it, and which is so.

Let me, I'll send this to Olivia too.

Tell her to get to work.

Claudia and I were chuckling because I didn't see the clip where he explains this to Jen, but I'm sure Jen was like, oh my god.

You know, she actually wasn't.

I want to say everything I, I'm not watching, but everything I've seen of Jen, obviously that Kelly Ripa moment that went viral, I loved.

Um, she was super respectful.

I don't know, like, if she really cared, I don't even know if she likes this guy, so I don't have context, but I thought she was super respectful.

He was obviously talking about some really heavy things with the Holocaust, and like, as it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot on a date nonetheless on the bachelor.

But I just want to shout out Jenny if she doesn't like him.

Yeah, I'll only like Jen if she marries him.

I want to shout out like her for giving a one-on-one to him where he was able to tell his story.

And thank you to the bachelor producers for including it because it was so cool to see.

Major, major.

You know, they could have cut that out.

Of course.

In these trying times.

Yeah, but I mean, like, why is he on The Bachelor if he's like, like, with his important Jewish faith?

Like, yeah, no, and also, like, if you're like a breathing Jewish man, like, and you want to get married, it's literally not hard.

I know a million Jewish girls who would love to date you.

And he should get together with Arielle Frankel, who is like the most amazing Jewess from The Bachelor.

If it doesn't work out with Jen, you know, I didn't, when I'm on the clip, I was like, I didn't see it.

It said it looked looked like she didn't like him yeah i didn't see like crazy sparks i'm not gonna lie i won't be surprised if he gets sent home soon obviously not the week where he talks about the holocaust not the one-on-one week because then he gets sent home on the date and he got a rose prep from his date or else he gets sent home i don't think it's like i didn't see you know but i agree him and ariel frankels should definitely get together you know i'm obsessed that was really cool i liked that thank you to the toaster who shared that with jackie yes oh my god like seriously and it was only one person so if she hadn't we would have never put it together love that like seriously love you guys like i just thought that was so cool So cool.

That's our show.

That's our week.

We'll see all the swirlies in Atlantic City tomorrow.

We're so excited about that.

And then we kick off next week, our final week before we take one week off hiatus, you know, summer break.

We'll be back, you know, moving.

You know, let's not talk about that.

So we'll see you swirlies tomorrow at IRL.

And if not, we'll see you back in the studio on Monday.

We love you guys so much.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toastle Monday Morning Show, where we deal with the five-star stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please subscribe to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available all the podcasts and podcasts we found.

Set Spotify, Tune, Stitcher, Public Radio, Article Cast Box, all the places where they listen to podcasts.

But that's a toast of the Five Star.

Very, about a beautiful, about astounding.

About how wickedly wickedly delighted we are.

Love ya.

Bye.