Really, Flaubert?: Wednesday, June 12th, 2024

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dallions with a duke, or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Maas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like like Bridgerton and Outlander, and of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com/slash wondery.

That's audible.com/slash wondery.

Hey, Zach!

Are you smiling at my gorgeous canyon view?

No, Donald.

I'm smiling because I've got something I want to tell the whole world.

Well, do it.

Shout it out.

T-Mobile's got home internet.

Minutes!

Whoa, I love that echo.

T-Mobile's got home internet!

How much is that?

Look at that, Zach.

We got the neighbor's attention.

Just 35 bucks a month.

And you love a great deal, Denise.

Plus, they've got a five-year price guarantee.

That's five whole trips around the sun.

I'm switching!

It's crazy!

Yes, T-Mobile home internet for the neighborhood.

McDonald's, you still haven't returned my weed whacker.

Carl, don't you embarrass me like this, please?

What's everyone yelling about?

T-Mobile's got home internet!

McDonald's got my weed whacker!

Yes, T-Mobile's got home internet.

Just $35 a month with autopay and any voice line, and it's guaranteed for five years.

Beautiful yodeling, Carl.

Taxes of these apply.

Ctmobile.com slash ISP for details and exclusions.

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and happy Wednesday, a gorgeous.

It's just a gorgeous.

Gorgeous day here at the Toast.

It's a celebratory day.

We're humping the ones that we love.

We're halfway through the week, honestly.

The hardest is definitely behind us.

It is.

It's true.

We're humping, even though Romeo and Bruno are not in studio today.

Sorry to your eyes on the YouTube.

It's just us, ugly old hags.

Yeah, sorry.

Real eyes, real eyes, real lies.

Which is that Bruno and Romeo should be here.

They should be.

They should be here.

Standing with their paws around me here.

Have we sang that before?

Not pause.

No, I actually think we have.

I'm having

podcasting

too long.

Maybe we've been podcasting too long.

Do you get deja vu as like a clinical symptom?

As somebody who doesn't possess the

ability to remember anything, like memory is not something I currently possess.

No, I've never experienced deja vu, which is so sad because it sounds like a trip.

It is, and maybe because my memory is too strong, I have deja vu all the time.

And it's a hard feeling to explain, but it's like I've been in this moment feeling these feelings, thinking these thoughts.

It's really a trip, man.

Like the way you describe it, I'm jealous, you know?

I love feeling things.

But you know what's also a weird thing to think about?

Like, what if what I think is deja vu isn't deja vu?

Cause like we all can just describe what deja vu is to one another, but what if we're just feeling like different things?

What if I'm just like it going through something else?

Okay, I thought what you were going to say, which I think is like a better take on deja vu, was like, what if it's not deja vu that you're feeling?

What if you haven't experienced this moment before?

Perhaps you've experienced it in another life.

Oh, okay.

Yeah,

that's what some people say, you know, your reincarnated self has been here.

Perhaps if you believe in reincarnation, but no, like.

I'm so grounded in my deja vu.

Like, I know it's been in this life when I'm feeling it.

I'm like, oh, that feels like, I just, you've had to be there to know the feeling.

It's really something you cannot describe.

Do you have any recurring dreams?

Yeah, recurring themes in dreams.

No, like the same dream.

Not the same dream, but like something in the dream will be happening.

That happens a lot in my dreams.

Yeah, no, that's not really what I was asking.

Okay.

But you have the same dream ever.

No, no, I said no.

Do you?

I have.

That sounds like a nightmare.

No, no, no, no.

I have.

And I keep waiting for it to come back.

I'm like, now I'm like, I'm like, I'm onto it.

And I need him to.

Is having the same dream twice a recurring dream?

Ooh, like two nights in a row or like once in your adolescence and once, you know?

I don't think that's a recurring dream.

I think like people who go to sleep every night and like have, that's recurring.

Does that happen to people?

What does that mean?

What does that say about them?

I really think my dreams are like seriously some of the most fascinating storytelling of our generation.

And the fact that like my dreams are, first of all, only seen by me and barely remembered or so you think or are barely remembered it's a travesty like Steven Spielberg thinks he knows what good movies are he's never seen my dreams they're unbelievable they're incred like they're so crazy delusional and they're extremely telling of like how I think of myself do you know what I mean explain like in every dream I'm a star you know

okay what are you doing being a star like all these celebrities want to be my friend like all these celebrities want to date me like I have like I have at least three dreams a week where like a really, you know, handsome leading man is like chasing after me.

But in my dreams, I'm married.

And in my dreams, I stay loyal.

I'm like, Zach Ephraim, I literally can't date you.

I'm married.

Yeah.

So then is it hard to wake up?

No, because I wake up to my husband, who I didn't cheat on even in my dreams.

Like I'm so loyal.

No, but then like there's no Zach Ephraim.

Not the waking up, but like the going about your day.

Like is your dream life more fabulous?

than your regular life?

That's a good way.

It's a good question.

Sometimes, yeah.

Sometimes, yeah.

I can't lie.

But I feel like it's, you know, the ebb and flow because sometimes your dream life is a nightmare.

And so it's like, okay, that's not my real life, but also this isn't my real life.

I'll just take my real life things.

Yeah,

it's good.

It's good.

I don't, because if you have your dream life, then you also have your nightmare life.

So true.

So I'll stay here on this planet.

And I definitely had some interesting dreams because I watched a sort of

a titillating film before a bed.

Nobody recommended it to me on my journey of

historical nonfiction or whatever.

But I did watch a trailer for Cinderella Man because you brought it up and it like sounded good.

And seriously, me and Ben were like, I bet this movie is good.

It's one of the worst, most piece of shit trailers on the planet.

Like to make a movie look bad in a trailer is actually hard.

And it made us not want to watch it.

So we literally did it.

I don't know if I would recommend that you watch it.

Oh.

I was just talking about it.

I don't know why I said it.

Everyone in the comments was like, you have to watch Cinderella.

Oh.

I think you're okay.

And I don't, I don't think you're okay.

And then I went to watch Miracle, which you had suggested about, you know, the Soviet hockey game.

It's a D-com.

Did you know that?

Like, yeah.

It's a D-com in the same way that, like, we are,

what's that Denzel Washington football movie?

Remember the Titans is, you know?

Right.

Or like Secretariat.

Yeah.

So it's like a high budget, like it was in theaters produced by the Disney Channel, you know?

And again, Ben was like not convinced at all.

And what?

I would feel like he would be for that.

Also, remember the Titans, Secretariat, Mighty Ducks, like those are all-fire movies.

I think Ben was really, and I was in a similar boat, like completely disinterested in the Cold War.

Like, we were on the same page in the sense, like, we know very little about it.

But then I did convince him to watch a Cold War movie that actually looked good.

It was called Bridge of Spies.

I think it was like a recent Oscar contender, Stevie Spielberg film, Tom Hanks, who I just loathe.

Like, seriously, I was watching the movie and I was like, You will never be Forrest Gump.

Like, you'll never, like, just stop, you know?

He was bothering me a lot.

Although the movie was good, and it was based on a true story, and the credits had some fun facts, which, you know, is the telltale side of a good movie.

It was about, you know, spies during the Cold War, communism, et cetera, et cetera.

It was good stuff.

I actually really enjoyed it.

And I did learn a little bit.

Not a lot.

I learned a little bit.

Okay.

Are you interested in exploring this time even more?

Well, I was more so interested in the man that Tom Hanks played.

He was just like this, you know, Brooklyn lawyer, nothing special, and how he ended up being like the lead negotiator negotiator for like hostages and spies in the US was through this you know

happenstance moment that happens in the movie I don't want to spoil it and so I liked learning about that but like Russia itself actually everyone was like really pissing me off

because I guess I learned yesterday that it was called the Cold War because it was kind of cold you know there was no like battles no action

It should really be called like the paranoia war.

Like everybody was so on edge, like so paranoid about like, oh, there's Russian spies in the sewers.

There's Russian spies in the phone.

It's like, nobody cares about you, actually.

Calm down.

It was like giving drama queen energy.

Well, I think they do.

Is that called like the red scare?

They know that they were scared.

Oh, yeah.

And then all the kids in school are like learning how to survive an atomic bomb.

And it's like, again, nobody cares about you.

We're not dropping a bomb on you.

It was just giving very much everybody making it about themselves.

Or maybe because like of diplomatic relations, like those things didn't come to pass.

So then it does look a little dramatic.

But if it had happened, it wouldn't have been dramatic.

It actually wouldn't have been enough.

Yeah.

The Red Scare is a period of public fear and anxiety over the supposed rise of communist or socialist ideologies in a non-communist state.

I feel like we, you know,

we have the luxury of looking back and being like, oh, that was dramatic because maybe like things went as they should.

But if it had, if people didn't do their parts, it wouldn't have been so scared.

Like, maybe there should have been more of a Nazi scare, don't you think?

Yeah.

And then Ben and I got to talking about communism.

Because we also watched Oppenheimer and it was like, oh my God, if you had even like the smell of communism on you, you were seriously like

expelled from social circles, academia.

It was like the worst fucking thing you could have.

And my question is this.

One, like, why were we so afraid of communism back then?

Do you know?

I'm asking you.

Um,

like, yeah, we could think people who like believed that were like wacky and dumb, but like, we were literally afraid.

Yeah.

Well, I guess, because there was like, it depends on what level, like, if he was in government and are you a spy for a communist Regime that is our enemy and we're in like a war with them and were we in a war with them because they were communists

Or like there was other stuff going on there was other stuff like we were never the tightest of friends But then in World War II like we came together for a moment to defeat the Nazis that was major major key But then we like went back to doing our own things and our own ways of life and I think like you know they're always concerned that

oh well we're concerned that their ideas are going to bleed over here.

And they're concerned we're going to bring democracy over there.

So it was just like, stay in your lane.

And then my other question is like, how did we go from one extreme to the other?

You know, in such a short period of time, it's like, you, seriously, if you even breathe the word communist in the wrong circles, like your life was over.

Like, seriously, they killed people, like literally put them to death.

That spy.

And now it's like, kind of hip to be communist.

Like, I just don't understand like seriously.

And I guess that's just history repeating itself.

Like, that's how these things start.

But, like, how did we get here?

How do we get out?

How do we get out is a major question.

Yeah, I don't know when, maybe after the Cold War, that's when

people just loosened their

vibes around communism.

And, you know, I think as time passes, people forget how bad communism actually is, what it means to live under communism.

Yeah.

And they think it's like this utopian

society where it's not.

communism has never worked anywhere, not once.

And look at the places that have employed it, but I think the further away you get from it, the younger generation they are like, what if we are equal?

Well, so I actually was just seeing this on TikTok: like this generation of you know, first-generation Americans whose parents were immigrants who fled like communist countries and like these horrible conditions for a better life so they could send their kids to college to become communists.

Yeah,

it's the circa.

The circle of life.

It's true.

Have you ever heard the saying?

I love sayings, by the way.

Hit me with a trip.

This is a really good saying, and I want to get the order of it right.

So

let me just...

Let me just pull up the crow card.

Here it is.

Hard times create strong men.

Strong men create create good times.

Good times create weak men.

And weak men create hard times.

I think that's where we are.

I think we're in the

perfect.

You not heard that one before?

No, I love a good phrase.

What would you say is your favorite phrase of the moment that you find yourself using a lot?

And I just want to say, like, you could say it creates strong people.

Like, if you, if you don't know what that is.

Yeah, because that's definitely like a little bit archaic.

Okay.

Hard times create strong people.

Strong people create good.

That works for me.

Yeah, that makes more sense.

Like in the morning.

And I think it applies, as a woman, it applies to me too.

Yeah.

Like hard times make me strong.

So true.

You're strong.

Hard times make me weak.

And weak times

make hard, weak me creates hard times.

Okay, whatever.

What is a phrase like you, what's your phrase of the moment?

I feel like you could tell me what my phrase of the moment is better than I could tell you.

I was listening to me.

Tinks is a good phrase that I haven't been saying a lot, but I've been thinking a lot.

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

That's a good one.

I love it.

But it's easier said than done.

Like, I think a little bit of a

little bit of anger is always good.

I also don't agree with it.

Like, I am alive because of my anger.

My anger gets me, my anger propels me forward.

It's like drinking a poison that's like, you know.

a drug elixir.

It's not going to kill you.

Yeah.

For me, like holding on to anger is like drinking a red ball.

Like it's heavenly.

But that is technically poison, but you're on another level i'm on another level yeah no i someone also said that on a reality show recently and it stuck with me of course i'm living in your bloom where you're planted moment of course and also one that i love that i feel like i haven't mentioned in a few years but i think the people need to know again and i got it from robin on peloton

Sometimes self-care looks like hard work.

You do love that one.

I would absolutely love if everybody could sound off in the comments, either on YouTube or on our Instagram.

Instagram.

Like, what is your favorite phrase?

What's a phrase, like a motto?

I'm always looking for new mottos.

I feel like I put a motto on my notes app on my computer because I like read it in a newsletter.

Oh, wow.

She's whipping out her computer.

If you guys aren't watching on YouTube, what?

It's here.

I don't know why I saved it.

Okay.

It's from someone named Flaubert.

S-L-A-U-B-E-T-E-T-E-T-R-T.

It's from someone named Really Bert.

Really Flaubert.

You guys, can we tell that story?

Uh, yeah, I've been saying it all, and I'm gonna try and figure it out why I say.

I mean, what was the phrase?

No, Claudia, I don't want to save this.

Are you embarrassed?

Share it.

I'm embarrassed.

It's like, it's like architecture.

Share it.

I will.

I will, but I just want you to know: like,

I don't, I don't know.

Is this your bon nuis moment?

So,

okay, really flaubert.

Really Bert.

This is the quote.

Oh, my God.

And it's recent, too.

And I think I read it now.

The only newsletter I get is the Free Press.

So it was in one of their articles.

And I just, it resonated with me.

Are you guys ready?

I don't think you are.

Let's go.

This is like you sharing your yearbook quote.

Oh, did I ever?

You did.

Or no, you texted it to me.

No, I think I said it on Patreon.

No, you texted it to me.

Yeah, okay.

Honestly, you have to bring that up.

Because I had deja vu because I remember ashamed.

Because the deja vu reminded me of this feeling of what it's like to share a quote that you don't really like stand by, except mine's like three weeks old.

Okay,

be settled in your life and as ordinary as the bourgeoisie in order to be

in order to be violent and original in your work.

Wait.

What?

Say it again.

I literally don't get it.

Be settled in your life and as ordinary as the bourgeois in order to be violent and original in your work.

No, that's honestly worse than Bonuet.

Wait, I feel like though I understood.

I'm going to find the article that I was a part of because maybe that will give context to like what this meant to me.

Okay, can't find it.

I feel like reading it, like I understand why i liked it for a second but to go out of my way to save it to my notes that's humiliating like seriously that is the craziest thing i just i feel like i like the message where it's like live an ordinary life and then like get do crazy things in in your work in your creative outlet no i like that but to save it she's literally a podcaster

i take my job seriously yeah yeah

i take my creativity seriously but to save it really flubbers

Okay, you guys, like a couple of weeks ago, as always, like all day, we're always sending pictures in our family chat, like of what's going on, the dogs, the kids.

And Olivia sent this video of her kids, and it was so cute.

And I'm watching it, and they're just like playing with each other.

And Michaela gets really in her brother's face, like really up in his face.

And what came out of her mouth was seriously like the last thing I would have.

And she said it with a kind of like a British accent.

She goes,

Really, Bert?

And I said to Olivia, I was like, What the fuck is Bert?

Like, who is Bert?

And she was like, It's a line from Mary Poppins.

Mary Poppins.

It's like the kids' favorite movie of the moment.

She's like, Olivia wasn't shocked by it.

I seriously,

it was the most shocking thing.

If she had said, like, any, like, nothing could have shocked me more.

Really, Bert.

Really, Bert.

So,

she sounded like Moira Rose.

Yeah, yeah.

Really, Bert, I don't like it.

No, by the way, she is endlessly inspiring to me.

Endlessly quotable.

And I wonder, do like other people, and this is just who we are.

We do it with each other.

So like it makes sense that we do it with the kids now.

But like, do other people quote their children and like

as much as we do?

You know, everything that they.

Are other people doing it?

Right.

Like, what is Koja doing?

Doing.

Like, I don't know if you start to talk like your kids, but it's honestly so fun.

Really, Bert?

Really?

So, I don't know how we got here.

Flaubert.

Flaubert, the quote of the moment.

So, I wouldn't say that's my quote of the moment, though.

No, okay.

We have an amazing show today.

We've got stories, we've got Fast Five, we've got fun.

Mm-hmm.

We do.

Anything else you want to chat about before we dive in?

No, I just want to Google who Flaubert was.

Watch he's a copyist.

No, literally, like Marx's Marx's friend.

Okay, Gustave Flaubert was a French novelist.

He has been considered the leading exponent of literary realism in his country and abroad.

We stand.

We have no choice but to stand.

Oh, he wrote Madame Bovry.

I meant to tell you, a movie I almost watched before Bridge of Spies that was seriously like too heavy and I like couldn't was Sarah's Key.

Because, you know, I've never seen it.

And I've never like read a book or a movie about that incident in France with the like soccer stadium.

The Vendôme.

The Vendôme, like where they like put 15,000 Jews in and left them in that stadium to die.

And like, oh, they just like literally died of starvation.

And like, yeah.

Like, just left them there.

And then the whole like town smelled for like a year of like dead corpses.

They just literally like put like 15,000 people in this room to die.

Um, and I, I, I've been like wanting to, I like want to know more about it, but it's so graphic.

That's what Sarah's Key is about?

It's, it's referenced.

I think it's a story of someone from that

thing.

It's a modern-day journalist finds her life becoming entwined with a young girl whose family was torn apart during the notorious

Veldiv Roundup.

And it's like it's a part of the

Holocaust like people don't talk about because it low-key like wasn't the Nazis.

It was like people in France who were just like, I'm sick of these Jews.

Let's put them in this soccer stadium.

The French didn't need a lot of convincing.

No, that's not.

Exactly.

They needed none.

They were like, how can we help?

No, no, that's a line from from Reba that seriously made me laugh so hard.

It's like,

Barbara Jean?

Okay, Barbara Jean.

I said, you know, a video of it.

Do you remember?

No.

Whatever.

Barbara Jean and her husband are planning to

have a hard conversation with someone.

And the second they sit down, the husband rolls over and it's just like, so the person leaves and Barbara Jean turns around and she's like, thanks a lot, France.

Oh my God, it's so unexpected.

It's so funny.

And yeah, you're right.

Like it's, it was was 100% accurate.

Yeah.

This is, by the way, a history podcast.

Yeah, we have different eras, of course.

I think we all remember finally our sports era.

And I think that is definitely, you know, due for a renaissance with football season, you know, coming coming soon.

But we're definitely, I feel like you've been trying to make this a history podcast.

And I've been like trying to get tell you to shut the fuck up for like three years.

Now it's definitely a history podcast.

Isn't history fascinating, Law?

It is.

It really is.

It's

maddening.

It is maddening.

But what's so crazy, as they say, history repeats itself.

And, you know, it's never word for word, but it rhymes.

That's in a more succinct quote, but I.

Oh, wait, Sadian?

Like, hold on.

Let me get the proper quote.

This is just like, are we a quote card?

Are we a quote podcast?

Hold on.

I like that.

History doesn't repeat itself.

It rhymes.

Yeah, Mark Twain.

History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes.

Right, like similar vibes is what Mark Twain was saying.

Right, it's never gonna be apples to apples, but

it rhymes.

It's gonna be green apples to yellow apples.

Because also, like, human, the nature of human beings is the same.

Like, I feel like you look back at people from hundreds of years ago and you're like, I could never be that.

They were horrible people like that.

And you think, like, you live in like the best, most moral generation.

And then, like, oh, it turns out, like, oh, you would have actually been a Nazi.

No, and then also you think now, like, in a hundred years when we are the history that people are learning about, Claudia.

What are we doing now?

Like, you know, commonplace things like slavery.

Claudia, I know what they are.

You do?

Yeah.

But, like, they're so commonplace, you can't even speak out against them.

Wow.

Chilling.

Chilling stuff.

Oh, my God.

I forgot to share something so major that happened to me.

What?

Sabrina Carpenter reposted one of my TikToks.

What do you mean?

There's a repost feature on TikTok.

I don't know if you know that.

It's like retweet on X.

Exactly.

And she reposted one of my TikToks.

I was using her song, please, please, please.

Skin?

No, I wish.

Please, please, please.

How many times did she repost stuff?

I'm not sure, but like the impact was there.

It had had about 200,000 views, and now it's at like over three.

Yeah.

Over 300,000?

Yeah.

Oh.

What were you doing in the video?

Singing and dancing to please, please, please.

Oh, cool.

And I just like happened to look particularly gorgeous.

Like it was naturally lit.

I love that for you.

I'm happy for you.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Thanks.

Okay, now I think I can close out of all my red scare tabs.

Yeah.

And we can get into the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by GNC.

So as you guys know, medications, GLP-1 medications, are taking the world by storm, helping many people transform their lives through weight loss.

Like myself, I had a fabulous experience.

experience but as you guys know being on those medications but also being off those medications afterwards require a lot of things to help sustain keep hunger off if you have any side effects while on the medication you know how important supplements it can be like for me um i will like seriously thank dr geezy till the day i die because the second i left her office after starting one of the drugs she sent me to the grocery store to get a um fiber supplement.

And then once I started shopping at GNC, I was able to get all of my things that I needed during my Ozempic journey and also after my Ozempic journey at GNC.

So right now I'm in this era where I'm off those medications and I'm really trying hard to maintain my weight loss, stave off hunger, and having good protein-filled snacks and just like good, hearty, healthy supplement snacks on deck in my house is super important.

And that's why shopping at GNC, like probably once a week now, is super important.

They have

an amazing line of protein bars, protein shakes.

It's called GNC Total Lean.

Such good flavors, such good bars.

They also sell a lot of bars that I love, like bare bells.

They sell liquid IV, like all the the things that i personally need to stay on this journey they are selling on gnc's website at their in-person stores so i love their uh totalene shakes again cookies and cream is one of my favorite flavors and for the best hunger satisfying meal replacements find your flavors at gnc right now go to gnc.com slash toast and save 25 on all things gnc totalene when you use our code toast 25.

today's episode is also brought to you by story worth these there are some stories about a person in your life's life that you'll never get tired of hearing.

So, from hilarious to heartfelt, tear-jerking to plot twisting, hearing someone retell like the stories of their life is so empowering.

You know, you have like your favorite person in the world, usually they're older than you, and especially with Father's Day coming up, like your dad has like stories that you'll never tire of hearing.

Well, just in time for Father's Day, we have found the perfect gift that captures all of your father's stories for your family forever.

It's called Story Worth.

Story Worth helps you preserve precious memories and stories from your father for years to come.

So, how it works is that every week, Story Worth will email your loved one a thought-provoking question that you get to pick.

So, the questions

kind of can be deep, you know.

Story Worth makes the writing process a breeze.

So, all your loved one needs to do is respond to that email with a story.

Long, short, it doesn't matter.

You'll be emailed a copy of your loved one's response as they are submitted over the course of a year.

You'll get to enjoy their retelling of the stories that you already know or be surprised by stories you never heard before.

That's the best.

It's like hearing a story.

I feel like there's like, you know, older people like retell like the same five stories.

And then every now and then, you'll hear a story that you've never heard before, and you have like this insane new outlook on the person in your life.

So, after a whole year of fun, Storywears will then compile your loved ones' stories into a beautiful keepsake hardcover book that you'll be able to share and revisit for generations to come.

They'll add photos to it.

You can even keep a copy of the book for yourself.

So, families love Story Worth.

It's literally the sweetest gift.

Give all the fathers in your life a unique, heartfelt gift that you'll all cherish for years.

Story Worth.

Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to storyworth.com/slash toast.

That's storyworth.com/slash/toast to save 10% on your purchase.

Today's episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp.

Thank you, BetterHelp, for sponsoring today's episode.

When life goes fast, it's important to take a moment to celebrate your wins and make adjustments for the rest of the year.

Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.

So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

Perhaps this is a sign you've been looking for.

Why BetterHelp is different is it's therapy done entirely online.

It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

How it works if you want to sign up is you'll go online and fill out a very brief questionnaire and then you will get matched with with a licensed therapist.

What sets BetterHelp apart, I think, from a lot of other therapy options is it's really easy to change therapists because sometimes in person, online, like it's very personal.

You know, you need to have a good personality match and, you know, there's nothing wrong with this therapist, but it's just not a match for you.

And they make it really easy and like not awkward to change therapists.

In person, it's like so painful.

So you can switch therapists at any time and there's no additional charge for that.

So take a moment.

Visit betterhelp.com slash toast today.

You'll get 10% off your first month when you use our link.

That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash toast.

Betterhelp.com slash T-O-A-S-T.

There's really never a bad time to give therapy a start.

And if you've been wanting to start therapy and you just kind of needed a nudge, perhaps let turdy be your nudge.

I nudge you.

Enjoy.

Thank you, BetterHelp, for sponsoring today's episode.

Thank you, Turdy.

You're welcome, Jack.

By the way, of course, on my phone, I have a list of quotes that we like that you make me start a list.

And some of them are more like phrases and they're like tick tocky but one that we love that i i just want to resurface

never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake obsessed obsessed beyond and then i also have on another tab called quotes from april 2020 just one quote

2020 it's a just that's how long ago it is but i think nobody but where were we during april 2020 was that that was the beginning of covet right yeah yeah okay oh so this makes this extra sound.

Right, right.

Context is important.

This is all it says.

I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town.

Yikes.

That's like not like a quote.

It's a lyric.

And of all the ones, why did we write that one down?

Because of all like the Taylor Swift lyrics, like for me, there are Taylor Swift lyrics that seriously, like I live by.

One of them being,

I could be able to castle out of all the bricks they threw at me.

Dear reader, bend when you can, snap when you have to.

And of course, yeah, you introduced me to that one.

And of course, my favorite one.

My favorite one, like, of all time.

Pass me.

I want to tell you not to get lost in these petty things.

Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing.

Chilling.

Chilling.

We should actually keep a list of like Taylor lyrics that like really.

And I guess that first one can start out the list.

it's cute i like it i'm sorry like fireworks over your it's a nice visual people love rocks people throw rocks at things that people throw rocks at things that shine yeah you could definitely get like an apron with that on etsy yeah like if you're a person in this world if you're a person in this world who has even one hater there is a tailor's fifth lyric for you like a lot of them are about like scrutiny But I guess even if you're not a person like with haters, like in your life, you have like detractors.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, now let's get into the stories.

Our first story, Ariana Grande is on Penn Badgley's podcast called Pod Crush, and she's talking about Quiet on Set.

Oh my God.

Yes.

So Ariana says that the environment needs to be made safer for kids in the industry and believes therapy should be mandatory.

So she went on Penn Badgley's podcast called Pod Crush, which was released today.

So there's a lot of quotes coming out.

I haven't had a chance to watch it, but there's a lot that she's talking about.

she talked about the docuseries quiet on set and this is what she said quote a lot of people don't have the support that they need to get through performing at that level at such a young age but also dealing with some of the things that the survivors who have come forward there's not a word for how devastating that is to hear i think that the environment needs to be made safer if kids are going to be acting and i think there should be therapists i think there should be parents allowed to be wherever they want to be she continued adding that parents should be permitted everywhere not only on kids sets she said i think if anybody wants to do this or music or anything at that level of exposure that it means to be on TV or to do music with a major label or whatever, it should be in the contract.

She said that young performers are vulnerable to reactions to their performances from adults on set, which creates a quote, strange pattern that occurs where it's really taking advantage of how much it means to the young performer to get a laugh from Video Village.

You're like, oh shit, I'm doing something great.

Like this is funny.

This is good.

But she recognized that she's speaking from her own experience on the show, noting how she and her castmates pushed the envelope with their humor.

She said, quote, and the innuendos were like, we were told and convinced as well that it was the cool differentiation.

And I don't know, I think it all just happened so quickly.

And now looking back on some of those clips, I'm like, that's damn, really?

The things that weren't approved for the network were snuck onto like our website or whatever it was.

And that is another

discovery.

But I'm going into it.

I guess I'm upset, she said.

She believes that for those pursuing these career trajectories with large scales, there should be an element that is mandatory of therapy, of a professional person to unpack what this experience of your life changing so drastically does to you at a young age or at any age.

Yeah, I honestly never thought we would hear her take on it because the window of you know speaking out, I thought had passed.

I think doing it on a podcast is a fabulous medium for it.

And I think her and Penbachi, like oddly, have a friendship.

He's in the music video she just released.

So they're obviously working together and she obviously felt comfortable enough to like agree to go on his podcast and talk about this.

So I, first of all, love this friendship.

I kind of ship.

How did they meet, do you think?

Let's play this.

Do you think his music from his music, Motherxer?

No, no.

Maybe she's a really big fan of his TV show.

I feel like the

show on Netflix.

I feel like she'd be a bigger fan of you than of Gossip Girl.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, that's Ari.

So,

interesting.

I didn't really put together that weird footage from the iCarly and whatever

website that that they showed in the documentary was footage that was like not approved by the network that's like really scary yeah and I feel like when we were talking about quiet on set you know of course you want to hear from the big people who are still around like what their thoughts on the documentary or just their overall experience but then with Ariana like there was also that piece of like those videos for the website yeah um

And overall, it seems like she had a, she looks back on her time finally, like she's still close with Dan Schneider, I think.

So I think now she might be like looking at it from a different lens, though.

I think that happens a lot.

Like, and especially when you're a kid, like, you don't remember everything that ever happened to you as a kid.

That's like just a part of childhood.

And so, for it to be played out in a documentary and sort of like explained to you, it's like weird, but it's like something happened to you.

You were there, but you can see it differently now as an adult.

Like, it does make sense that, like, now she's angry, whereas before, maybe she didn't even think about it.

Yeah.

Because that's what you do.

That's like human nature to like be a kid.

You just, I think it's like a means of like protecting yourself you just sort of keep going yeah but you also just like trust that the adults know what they're doing yeah that they're looking out for you yeah

so yeah interesting that she went on pen badgley's podcast but i think his podcast is new too no it's like a couple of years old and he's like always he's always randomly like making waves with it because a couple of months ago he had taylor momson on and they talked about like you know dan and jenny and it was everyone was you know loving it

And he gets very good guests.

People really, it's called Pod Crushed, right?

Yeah, yeah.

People really like it.

It's big on TikTok.

What does the name mean?

Do you know?

I'm so glad you asked.

Because I feel like that's like a name of a podcast that like a generic podcast network would put out about like you know

something silly.

Like he seems not silly.

He seems like he takes himself serious.

Yeah, and it's like it's in-depth interviews and it's they tackle serious stuff a lot.

So I don't know.

know.

Yeah, it's hard to come up with a name for your podcast though.

I'm always surprised when people do it like because podcasts come like everyone starts a podcast every day and some people get like really good names for themselves.

I'm like, oh nice, that's good.

Oh, I'm so glad you brought up this conversation because I've been wanting to talk about, you know, Teresa Judiche rebranded her podcast.

And I have to say, her previous podcast was called Nama Stay Bitches.

Like I would say probably top three worst podcast names like you ever could have come up with, especially this is a person who has so much lore, so many like words associated phrases, merch, merchy type things.

Like she couldn't have come up with a worse name for her podcast if she tried

like seriously a piece of duty would have been a better name than namaste bitches and that was because one season she did yoga um and she's rebranded it now which is much needed to a fabulous name called turning the tables i saw a clip from turning the tables on my feed this morning and I didn't know I actually like meant to I watched the clip and it just talked about her like it was 10 seconds she was talking about how she never thought housewives would be what it is.

Like, so I thought maybe it was like someone else's podcast.

Or something.

I didn't realize that she rebranded her podcast.

It's a much better name.

You want to play a fun game?

Yeah.

Going through podcast names?

Okay.

What do you mean going through?

Like other shows.

I feel like someone.

I have a hot take.

Okay.

I think seriously, one of the worst titled podcasts is Smartless.

It's literally not a word.

Like, I don't fucking get it.

Damn, turdy.

Hmm.

Let's go.

Oh, I like vile files.

That's always been the strong one.

You know what I like?

And I like it also because of history.

As a name, I think Giggly Squad is like the funniest, cutest name.

Yeah.

And it's like Kyle called them that on the show.

I never saw that episode.

Jackie, never interrupt your enemies when they're what?

Making a mistake.

Making a a mistake.

That was literally Kyle Cook.

Like, he handed them this gorgeous platter of, like, and now, like, giggly, like, everything.

Genius.

Yeah.

Real good.

What are other, like, well, the Joe Rogan experience.

That's not an amazing podcast.

No, but like

it's not about the, when it's you, when you're a personality and you just have like the blank show, that's fine by me.

You don't need to like reinvent the wheel.

But I do think some people like really pigeonhole themselves with like really niche names.

I agree.

I'm now looking at top.

Oh, there we are.

The toast, the cutest name.

Wait, I gotta...

What is this?

And I also like, I don't want to like shade anyone, so I'll just.

Oh, I do.

Okay.

I'm on my way to the charts.

Okay, I'm here.

Oh, you know whose name I think is bad?

And she's always at the top?

Julia Louis Dreyfus.

Wiser than me?

Yeah.

Wiser than me?

I don't.

I don't mind it because I think the premise is like talking to wise, older people.

You know what I think is a good name?

Hmm.

Armchair Expert.

I actually think it's an excellent name.

That is an excellent name.

Of course, our favorite, Huberman Lab.

So good.

Two bears, one cave is funny.

Throwback.

Oh, what about two T's and a pod?

I don't like it at all.

Like, really, I don't.

But it's not held them back from finding success in this space.

It hasn't.

How did we get here?

Oh, pod crushed.

Pod crushed.

Yeah, exactly.

Crushed.

Okay.

We could do this another time.

Are you sure?

I mean, money.

Don't let me interrupt you, leisurely scrolling on your phone.

I'm enjoying, like, yeah, but the ones that are cringe, like, I don't want to call them out.

I don't even know these people.

Like, and they're trying to make it in the industry.

Like, it's not for me to put them down.

Yeah.

Okay, so Ari has spoken.

Thank you

to Ari.

To Ari, we think.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little engagement news.

The 1975s Maddie Healy is engaged to model Gabriette Bechdel, as in the Bechdel test?

That's what I was thinking.

Interesting.

Well, this story does not.

We do not pass the Bechtel test for sure.

We are.

We broke the Bechdel test.

Yeah, we literally set the standard for the Bechdel test.

This story does not pass the Bechtel test.

Yeah, no, it doesn't.

Because the only woman involved is centered around a man but you know what like fine that doesn't mean it's not like not everything has to pass the bechyl test no no like when it does like excuse us for being girly like

we pass the bectal test like it's just a level above right

what kind of test is that i don't know and it's like why can we stop monitoring like what women want to talk about It's so, no, but I think it's meant to be, you know, things that are created by anyone, man or woman.

You know, I get it in like yeah in like movies and film and art but like in my life like if me and my girls just want to sit around and talk about guys like we're fine and also i don't think every movie needs to pass the bechdel test like i think there are stories about men where the women like no offense are just like their wives right right

but i think there are also stories about women where the men no offense are just their husbands

And also, if we want like real equality, what's the Bechdel test for men?

The Mechtel test.

The Mectil test.

I guess we don't need it because everything would pass.

It is the point.

Yeah.

Matty Healy's engaged to his girlfriend, Gabriette Bechtel Test.

The two announced their engagement late Tuesday night after attending mutual friend Charlie XCX's Brat Show in Brooklyn with Bechtel Test sharing photos of herself wearing the ring featuring a black gem surrounded by pave diamonds around both the Stowman band.

She said, marrying the 1975 is very brat.

Now,

I don't care, you know, like what this person does in his personal life.

I don't know this woman.

I'm sorry to this woman.

But I, of course, you know, it begs the question, how does Taylor Swift feel about this?

And Taylor Swift is so happy in her life.

Like, she's at the height of her career.

She's in this amazing relationship.

But I definitely think this news still penetrates because, and we know this from her work, marriage is something like that's deeply important to her.

Like, she wants to get married.

It was a huge, I think, reason why her and Joe didn't end up working out.

And in a lyric from TTPD, she says that Maddie Healy

would

put an imaginary ring on her finger and it's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.

Like,

I feel like this hurts.

I feel like, not to take away from any of this, and I don't know these people, so this is just like my take as like, you know, given the content that was given to me.

So I got TTPD.

And then a few months, a month and a half later, I'm getting an engagement announcement from the person who was like in the album saying that like he couldn't commit, like no ring, smallest man who ever lived.

And like maybe he would have been getting married to Echdeltesta anyway.

But I feel like this sort of is good PR against the narrative of the album.

Oh, you think this is his way of combating the narrative?

Of just being like,

yeah, no, I'm not that guy.

Look, I got engaged.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

Not to take away.

And maybe they still would have gotten engaged, you know?

But it definitely kind of shuts down some of the claims on the album if he's settling down now.

And the timing just makes you think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And this is also the Instagram star that she references also in another lyric.

Oh, really?

Yeah, if you have babies with an internet, with an internet star, it's the same girl.

So that's cool.

Yeah.

I just, I feel like it doesn't hurt his camp that like now he's gotten serious with him.

I feel like he has like a camp.

Like I don't think he plays into that's sort of his thing.

That's why he's super controversial and you know kind of disliked in some in some circles.

Not his camp but his sort of renegade.

Not his people, but it helps him

his

image.

Image, yeah.

Yeah.

That he's like settling down and not the person that maybe she made him out to be on the album

if he's doing something like this, but maybe he's doing like something like this because of what was said and sung.

Did you see this

press conference where Travis was asked, like it's for football, and he was asked

incredibly dumb.

Oh, are you ready?

Okay, not me having my finger on the pulse.

Also, all of our stories need to pass the Swiftal test.

Like, can we make this story not about Taylor Swift?

Yeah, no, there actually is like a huge

line of thinking when it comes to Taylor stories because we can have a Taylor story every single day.

Now, we don't want that.

Like, there's some people who don't want to talk about Taylor Swift, which is so crazy.

So, it's a delicate balance.

It's an equation.

Yeah, of when to select, when to not.

But Travis.

This is weird.

Travis had a press conference.

Of course, he was asked about Miss Taylor.

And he was asked the question, like, what do you and Taylor cook?

There's a video.

Taylor did a partnership with YouTube Shorts, and it's like this compilation of moments in her life, I would say, over like the last year, put to her music.

And in this, everyone has deconstructed the video like a thousand times, and they pulled this moment where she's cooking on the stove and Travis comes over and kisses her.

It's so cute.

Yes.

And so the reporter asked what he likes to make with her in the kitchen based on that video.

And he said, I respect that question, but I'm going to keep that one to myself.

It's something I'd rather just keep personal.

Then at the end of the interview, he circled back to the question as he exited the stage and he told the audience, Taylor makes a great Pop-Tart and cinnamon roll.

Okay.

Now, I want to start off by saying the state of journalism across all sectors, you know, it's not just sports, it's all journalism, but this is a perfect example.

Like, seriously,

a bad question, a dumb question, seriously, just like disgraceful.

I know, and I get to do it.

I'm sorry, it is disrespectful.

Like, this person is up there for their skill of football.

Like, what to ask, like, a roundabout, we would be mad if they did it to a woman.

And

it's disrespectful.

Like, he's not there to talk about Taylor.

Like, and so any question about Taylor is annoying in

this scenario.

A question as dumb and mindless and like

stupid is seriously disgraceful.

Like, she should, like, I think it was a woman who asked a question, like, you should be asked to leave.

Like, it's a bad, you're not a reporter.

You're not a serious journalist.

Well, I feel like he's like been so patient and like kind.

And people ask these really dumb questions.

And like, I would, I would be embarrassed to ask some of these questions, but he answers them.

Of course.

He answers them because he's like a nice person and he's not going to be one of those guys.

It's like, don't ask me about my, but like.

Because it makes him look like very beta to be like, I'm here to talk about myself.

Like, we don't care.

Right.

And he's not ever once done that.

And even the way he answered this question was like so, so sweet in a non-answer way.

But it, the fact that he's never done that gives like these journalists like license to like ask these stupid questions and they're getting like worse and worse and dumber and further away from like you could say like what Taylor songs do you like to rev up for the game like bring it back to the fucking sport here Yeah, they're they're so out of line.

And you're right.

Like he's gotten a reputation because he's so magnanimous.

Like you could never catch me being that patient with such idiots.

Like, and it's like you give someone an inch, they take a mild.

So the questions are getting worse.

They're getting more frequent.

I'm surprised he gets asked anything about football.

Like, it's really, it's not fair and it's wrong.

Yeah.

So he didn't answer the question.

And then I wonder if he like felt like he was being rude.

Right.

So then he gave them a little something, which was sweet, but he really doesn't need to do that.

No, he doesn't.

And seriously, like, I need him to start being rude.

And I just want to say, Taylor makes her own pop-tarts.

Like, that's the sign it's giving trad.

I don't even know pop-tarts

yeah yeah yeah it's giving unfrosted

she didn't know I think she 1000% read the book The Marvelous Marjorie Post like we know she likes to read and I think definitely during her Evermore era she was reading a lot and I could see her having she loves you know a strong powerful woman a businesswoman I think she definitely read Marjorie Post you think so that she reads like swirly biographies like that yes yes she's very into like that's how she knows random things and can write a song called Clara Beau, like some famous statue.

Like she knows weird, random historical things for sure.

What books do we know that she likes?

We know that she likes,

oh, that's a good question.

Like, has she ever been spotted with a book?

Like, I feel like she likes Colleen Hooper.

Oh, for sure.

I mean, because who doesn't, really?

And for sure.

But else, yeah.

Oh, by the way, literally goodreads.com.

There's a blog post.

Books, somebody made a list.

Books Taylor Swift has mentioned.

No particular order.

Okay, Great Gatsby, of course.

Jane Eyre.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Rebecca by Daphne DeMorer.

Is that Rebecca of Holiday House?

Oh, for sure.

A swirly biography on Rebecca.

Gone Girl.

I'm skipping some like The Sun Also Rises.

Yeah, like, of course, she read them in high school.

Where the Crawdads?

Why, just because she wrote a song for it?

Or no, she definitely read the book.

She 100% read the book if she's a reader and it was the biggest book of the year and subsequent years.

And yeah, she wrote a song for the movie like she cares about it.

All the Twilight books are in here?

I believe that.

And the rest are just classics, like Charlotte's Webb.

So if she read Crawdads, then she is like a modern reader.

Right.

Definitely read Seven Husbands.

It wasn't on that list, but there was a book about Elizabeth Taylor and her marriages on there.

Yeah.

I think she reads the modern classics.

Verity, Seven Husbands, Daisy Jones.

She reads a lot of poetry according to this Reddit thread.

Does she read Flaubert?

I don't know, but I think she thinks, really, Bert.

I think she reads Madame Bovary for sure.

I would love to know what books Taylor reads.

Maybe a journalist could ask Travis that.

That's a good question.

Yeah, you could tell so much about someone from what they read, don't you find Turtaloo?

For sure.

Like, she definitely read Demon Copperhead.

You think?

Yeah, because it's, like, was one of the number one books.

I wonder if she follows, like, a Reese's book club.

Is she like a huge reader?

Even, like, you have to be when you're that smart and like good with words.

You read books.

That's how you learn words.

Like, I wonder if, like, she would like the Redheads, is all I'm going to say.

She travels a lot, too.

She would like Lady Tan's Circle of Women that we just read.

If you could recommend one book to Taylor Swift, that's a good question.

Girl with no job.

Okay, that's so sweet.

Our, excluding our books, our published works.

Okay, wait, can I, can I do a little research quickly?

Okay.

And maybe I'll recommend a Redheads book just so that I could like then have her listen to the pod.

That's smart.

We've read so many good books recently.

Like she would love like strange Sally Diamond even.

You know?

Strange Sally Diamond was very good, but that's if you had one book.

No, no, no.

If I had one book,

it's so hard to do this for anyone, Law.

It is, it is.

Oh, Lessons in Chemistry.

Like, I know she would like that.

I know she would like that.

I think I would recommend.

You know what?

I actually know she would love

Love in Other Words by Christina Lauren.

Like, seriously, one of the best books I've ever read.

It's like so sweet and nostalgic and lovey, and she would love it.

And what about It Happened One Summer?

Remind me which one that is.

The one.

Oh, that's the one.

Yeah, Taylor Swift definitely would like Smutt.

For sure.

I think she does.

Yeah.

But Marjorie Post, like, I could see her liking.

Yeah.

That's a fun game.

Say it off in the comments.

What book would you recommend to Taylor Swift?

That is a fun game.

And back to this reporter, like, seriously, shameful.

we need to bring back shame i heard somebody say that once and i thought it the other day when i saw a grown woman pull her pants down in the street lean up against a car and like squat and just start peeing right outside bloomingdales like not even in a side like on a major major street um and i really thought to myself like we need to bring back shame people need to act embarrassed people need to know what humiliation feels like because we've sort of just foregone that feeling and people feel the freedom to act however they want to say whatever they want.

And we need to start restricting people again.

Like, I don't believe in freedom anymore.

Wow.

I believe in shame.

Wow.

Can't you have both?

No, clearly not.

Look around, Jackie.

Freedom to be ashamed?

No.

We need to bring back shame.

And I apologize.

I forget who said that.

And I thought it was such a poignant way of saying it because you used to be fearful of what other people thought of you.

And so you acted in a way that was, you know, in accordance with social conduct.

And we no longer have that.

We are boundless in in our shamelessness, and I'm not here for it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like the things I see, just like walking Romeo, you know, it's, we need to bring back shame.

Also, on the internet, you know, just the way people, like, even, not even people being like crazy, like, just like

no shame.

And not to like keep bringing you back to the girl who flashed her titties at the Dublin portal, but like, if she had felt, if she had the capability to feel shame, she wouldn't have shut down the portal.

Shut down the portal.

And the guy guy who, you know, spread his cheeks on the portal.

Like, ugh, stop, stop.

I know the portal is like your Roman Empire.

To me, the portal is emblematic.

You know how there's that shopping cart theory?

Yes.

You join you.

Do you know?

Like, yeah, Mitch, I told you about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm just like trying to say.

For the sake of conversation.

For the sake of conversation, but also like, that's what's called shopping cart theory.

Yes.

Okay, which by the way, I have issues with shopping cart theory.

I just want to- For those who don't know, the shopping cart theory is like when you're shopping for groceries, you have everything in the cart, you go back to your car, you unload the groceries into the trunk.

What do you do with that grocery cart when nobody's looking?

That is like the true telltale sign of the type of person you are.

Right.

And I think people are like, I put it away when no one's looking.

I'm a good person.

I'm an empath.

And they're like, the nastiest motherfucker.

And I don't think that that is how to tell a good person from a bad one.

First of all, I, and just to say, like, I always put the cart either back on the rack or on the sidewalk where it's not like disturbing

someone else.

So, like, I am, I pass the shopping cart test.

But there are some times when people can't put their cart back.

Like, there are people.

Well, that's what, there was this conversation being had on TikTok about it because this woman was like, when I'm shopping with my two kids, like, I'm sorry, I'm literally just leaving the card.

Literally, leave your cart.

Like, someone else can park a little further down who's like able-bodied and not with kids and they're going to be okay.

Other people are disabled.

There's things going on in people's people's lives, and just putting the cart back or not putting the cart back doesn't make you a good person or a bad one.

If you really think that it's that simple, like then you don't know what it means to actually be a good person.

Jackie, I think that when people say the shopping cart thing, it's one, yeah, because you could be blocking someone else's parking spot if you just leave it.

But it's also like, I think we're referencing the person whose job it is to accrue the shopping carts and like put them back, the person who works for the store.

Yeah.

That's like

people are acting like it's this cardinal sin that that person now has to take three steps to go get another cart when like their job is getting carts.

Like, why is that the worst thing you could do to another person is the cart over there versus the cart over here when there's so many like other just behaviors.

What did you do in the store?

Were you an animal in the store?

But you put your back.

But you put your cart back?

You know, I don't think it's a perfect theory.

Yeah, I just think people like really pat themselves on the back.

Like, I put my cart away.

I'm good.

Like, no.

No, and then they go, like, get in their cart and they start like hitting their kids.

Like,

and then they get in their car and they get on the phone and they leave like a nasty comment on someone's Instagram.

You're a bad person.

Yeah, no, totally.

It's not a one-size-fits-all theory.

Right.

That's what I was going to say.

Like, that theory also could be applied to the portal.

Like, what do you do when you get in front of the portal?

That says who you are.

I agree.

I completely agree.

What would you do in front of the portal?

It's just you on the portal and a bunch of people in Ireland.

Can they hear me or just see me?

Just see.

Damn.

okay, because I would have started singing.

I probably would have like danced a little bit.

So cute.

You're an entertainer.

Like shake, like a little booty, like, uh-uh, like, uh-uh, you know, you're an entertainer at heart.

That's what it says about you.

A thousand percent.

I would have done like a tick, the renegade or something.

So cute, you are.

What would you do?

Like, peace, wave.

Yeah, no, she would have been like, ah, you know?

What's up?

Yeah.

Hey, how y'all doing?

She's like, cutie.

Yeah.

So that's what that says about me.

It is what it is.

If you scrub your cheeks,

there you go.

Are you ready for our next story?

Oh my God, is it not even number four?

It's number four.

Oh my god, we are being leisurely today.

We really are.

Can the Kurds handle it?

I think they can.

Well, the fifth story will be a short one.

But anyways, bravo feud going on.

Real house ace of New York alum Carol Radzwell is clapping back at nasty Andy Cohen after he outs her as an anonymous source.

Oh my God, wait, what?

This story is layered.

Carol slammed Andy on X on Tuesday after he claimed that she was the anonymous Rony star who shaded him in his recent New York magazine profile.

So in the profile about him, there were some anonymous quotes and he said on Radio Andy, oh, that was 100% Carol who said that.

Oh my God.

So then she wrote on X saying someone can make a truthful observation and there's always one short-ish dude waiting to be offended.

She said, at this point, why would any normal person use their name?

They're all so vindictive, which I believe is the point of the quote and confirmed by Andy's nasty response.

In other follow-up tweets, she called him condescending and absurd and said he should apologize for calling her out.

So the quote in the story was this.

The unnamed former Bravo star dissed Real Houses of New York saying, quote, the show went from silly humor about middle-aged women getting drunk and being delusional about their status and having funny, petty arguments to housewives investigating and doing opposition research and making up false storylines and leaking stories on each other.

Then the person went on to critique Andy's baby shower, specifically the part where Lisa Rinna encouraged people to get up and dance for Andy and his baby, which we all remember that moment.

Iconic.

And this person said, quote, I just thought it was such a cringe moment because that's the dynamic.

Everyone just dances for Andy Cohen.

Now, I'm going to put Carol Radswell into a box.

Now, this box is filled with only one other person, and it's Billie Eilish.

And it's just every time we're talking talking about Carol Radswell, or, you know, we're reading something that she said, it's so negative.

She's so dreadful.

And she is officially in my Fibissinapunnem box.

Like, just kind of this like long face dre cup misery.

Like, and how you could look at that baby shower, which was seriously such a culmination of like love and joy.

And everyone, everyone who was there said they had the best time.

Like, there has not been one bad thing.

If you can find something nasty to say about it, like, you are a Fibisina Punnem.

So

I love, love that Andy called her out.

Like he obviously figured out who it was.

Yeah,

he said it wasn't hard to figure out.

We've not fired that many real housewives of New York.

He said it's Carol Radzwell, no question.

It's the one mean quote in there and it's the only anonymous quote.

There are 18 reasons why it's Carol.

18?

I think that was just like.

Oh, oh, I thought it was like a sublime.

I'm glad it's actually too many Taylor Swifts.

You're like, oh, no, I thought like Carol Radzwell is number 18 or something.

I don't know, whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, it's kind of weird that, and he also said he thought it was so weird that Carol would have kept herself anonymous, especially after all the times she shaded him publicly.

He said, Carol has said a lot of unkind things about me that she has tweeted and been quoted about.

So I was like, why are you going off the record here?

It was so weird to me.

I didn't understand.

And also, we haven't really fired that many New York housewives.

It's very obvious.

Got it.

Right.

Right.

Yeah, because like even Kristen Takeman came back, like everybody does.

Right.

And the quote, it's not even like it was so hot that she had to go anonymous for it, especially because she's been out there saying it.

Well, I don't know, saying the thing about the baby shower is like a particularly like mean thing.

Yeah, I agree.

But the first part about like why she thinks Roni failed, I disagree with that.

That's not a criticism of Andy.

No.

And I disagree with why, like, that's why the show was no longer good, doing opposition research and making up false storylines and leaking stories.

Like, that's not.

No, that was like good.

And the thing, the thing she said at the beginning, like all these older women drinking a lot, that was when the show was bad.

Right.

And being delusional about their status and having fetty arguments.

Like that was painful.

That was painful where they would have these insane arguments the next morning, not remember anything.

And it was like all for nothing.

Why did we even watch that?

Right, right.

What she described as like the good years were horrible.

No, and this is like classic Carol, like always making the worst takes.

It's really interesting her relationship with Andy, like how it deteriorated.

Cause she was one of those housewives that didn't need the show, that really had to be convinced to be on the show.

And she knew Andy before.

So I don't know like what went down and Bethany obviously like played a huge part in it, but

she's just like a hater.

Yeah, I think it started when she felt like Andy took Bethany's side in their feud because they were both like tight with Andy.

Yeah,

but I will say, like, the Carol and Bethany years on Bravo, like, those were great years.

Yeah,

like those years of housewives before it all fell apart in Columbia, like that was a great, great time.

It was.

She was a very good housewife, Carol.

She brought a lot to the show.

Like,

but the way, like, it's like how she left was so

like unnecessarily messy.

And she kind of like doesn't let it go.

How did she leave?

She was, remember, she snapped at Andy at the reunion because she felt like Andy was taking Bethany's side in that argument.

And she did get fired.

And then she just like constantly is tweeting about it.

I don't know what other platform she uses.

Every time she's making news, it's on Twitter.

And she's just always like saying stuff.

Got it.

Yeah, well, that's the latest beef.

Damn, I didn't know that.

Mm-hmm.

And then I- I love that Andy called her out.

Our fifth and final story is

a quickie because Kevin Jonas undergoes a surgery to remove a skin cancer.

And he said it's a reminder to get your moles checked.

It is.

I got to do that.

Yeah, I feel like we have at least one story, two stories a year about this.

And it's like a reminder for us or a reminder for us to remind people because he just underwent surgery to remove a skin cancer.

He said, so today I'm getting a basal cell carcinoma removed from my head.

He moved the camera to show the mole at the top of his forehead and continued, yes, that is an actual little skin cancer guy that has started to grow.

And now I have to get surgery to remove it.

So here we go.

Damn.

Well, we're forashalima.

And thanks to the reminder, I got to get that full body check.

It's so uncomfortable.

Like, seriously, it's so awkward, but it's beyond necessary.

And every time I do it, I feel like such a sigh of relief.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So just a good reminder.

Thanks, Kevin Jonas.

The show is not over.

Jonas, it's hump day.

And hump day is a fabulous day here because we have deer toasters, our weekly advice segment.

And dear toasters today is brought to you by splash refresher.

I'm actually drinking one right here.

I drink one pretty much every day on the toast.

And something you might have noticed about me, Jackie, in the last maybe month, I

seriously, after we finish the podcast, I run to the bathroom.

I am so hydrated.

I probably have at least four of these a day.

So I'm drinking the splash refresher.

For those who don't know what splash refreshers are, it's flavored water.

Juliana, I drink a lot of flavored water.

I do.

Everyone knows, like, sort of a fun fact about me is I'm genuinely incapable of drinking water.

It's insane to me how quickly I down these splash refreshers.

Do you know how long it would take me to drink like a regular bottle of water of this size?

Yeah.

The whole day.

No, when you were at my house, I have so many splash refreshers.

And my husband loves them.

And you guys were like fighting over your flavored flavors.

You were literally like allocating them, like mafia style.

Like, you can have the mandarin orange.

I shall keep the wildberry.

We can split the grape if you're nice to me.

And also Zach and I were like extremely suspicious because they have zero calories.

Like there's just no way.

Like we're, we're like, we're, we're like, what's wrong with them?

They're so good.

They literally are too good to be true.

I like the wildberry flavor the best, but shout out to Mandarin.

Yes, extremely good.

You were gracious enough to let him drink those in his own home.

I was, I was.

Well, I feel like he forgot that they were in the garage.

And then when I found them, I put them in the fridge and he was like, where'd you find these?

I was like, oh, what did you like to know?

Well, he was was shocked that there were drinks in the fridge because that's his department and they never wind up there.

I have to talk to my beverage coordinator.

We have so many at the studio.

They're literally so good.

And I can't stress enough the fact that they're actually keeping me alive.

Yeah.

No, she's finally drinking water.

She's radiating, glowing from the inside out, hydrated.

And it's crazy because I think this is like how much water, what I'm drinking now, like normal people drink.

Like I'm peeing so much.

I have to pee so bad right now at the beginning of every episode and at the end of every episode, like I have to pee.

That's great.

It is great.

I feel like I'm flushing out my system and I'm doing it in a delicious and refreshing way.

Yeah, everyone needs hacks to get through life, whatever it is.

And if you're someone who struggles to drink water or you want to drink more water, taste your water, water, it can be hard to drink sometimes.

It really can be like splash refreshers are what we're drinking.

And then like the internal struggle of being like, oh my God, I need to drink more water.

Cause obviously being hydrated is so good for like your skin, everything.

And like you feel like, does anybody else feel this like sickening, disgusting pressure?

And when it's like the end of the day and I realize I haven't drank a lot of water, like I have a pit.

I'm like not taking care of my body.

I haven't felt that way.

Like the

ease at which I just sort of like feel these days because I'm so, it's, I can't believe.

And by the way, this is a brand I had not heard of prior.

That's why I love doing this show.

They were like, do you want to try these beverages?

I was like, yeah, sure.

This big thing came to the toast.

They're gone.

I discovered, and they sell them everywhere.

I can't believe I hadn't seen them before.

Every time I do a grocery order, they have them everywhere.

They're so good.

Also, on our weight loss, loss journeys, like drinking water is is so great for helping with weight loss.

And if you're like even doing all the right things, but you're not drinking enough water, like you're going to get stalled.

And so this is like another major key

hack tool in our toolkit because it takes a lot.

Yeah.

Let me tell you the flavors.

Wildberry, which is my personal favorite, but it's very personal.

When I told Zach Wildberry was my favorite, he was kind of shocked.

Yeah.

He's more of a mandarin man himself.

So wildberry, acai grape, which I, I'm not into grape flavoring.

Who is?

Ben's offer.

Like, Ben loves grape.

He loves the Yasayi grape.

Pineapple, mango, lemon, and mandarin orange.

They are delicious, bright, flavorful, and hydrating.

And most importantly, zero calories.

Like, I actually can't believe it.

I like a lemon.

I love a lemon water.

They are available to shop at tons of grocery stores, Sam's Club, Walmart, Kroger, your other favorite retailers.

Look for them.

You might not have noticed them, but now you will.

And this is one of the things people keep tagging me in because I keep drinking them.

Like, there's always an empty one on my nightstand.

And like, I'm just kind of starting a movement.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you, turdy.

Yes.

So good.

So good.

So again, the brand is called Splash Refreshers.

This is the wildberry flavor.

You can get them at Kroger, Sam's Club, Walmart, your other favorite retailers.

They come in a bunch of different flavors like wildberry, acai grape, pineapple mango, lemon, mandarin orange.

They have zero calories.

And if you're just like a girly who's always a little dehydrated, it is what it is.

It's just like we're always like a little malnourished malnourished in that sense.

You can turn your life around.

I am the face of what it looks like.

I am on the other side.

I have solved the problem.

And I did all the things.

You know, everybody was like, if you get a big water bottle and leave it by.

So I did.

And it helped for like a couple of days.

But ask me when the last time I touched our water bottle.

Yeah, of course.

It's a job.

No, and sometimes I'll make it nice.

Like I'll put this in a cup with like ice, whatever.

Yeah.

But it's also just good straight out of the bottle.

Okay.

Yeah.

I love Splash Refresher and I'm so excited because they are the sponsor of today's

Dear Toasters.

Let me pull that up.

Are you ready?

I am ready.

For those who don't know, Dear Toasters is our weekly advice segment where you can write in for a chance to get advice from two extremely well-adjusted human beings.

You can write to us, deartoasters at gmail.com or head to our website, the toastpodcast.com.

You'll be able to

get the chance.

Hey, Jackson Turdy, I need help from a la toastada, and this one is spicy.

I'm 35 years old, and I'm in a relationship with my PJOM boyfriend going on 13 years.

I went on his Apple Music playlist recently to change a song the other day, and I saw that he had been listening to and subscribed to a few podcasts about swinging.

It's always the PJOM boyfriend, right?

Yeah, of course.

My P-John boyfriend stabbed me in my sleep last night.

Should I be mad?

I think you should.

We've never discussed this before.

Should I be worried that he's going to do, that he's going to want to do that?

Please help.

Like, yeah, you don't listen to podcasts like you like people listen to huberman because they're interested in science people listen to the toast because they're interested in celebrity yeah people listen to podcasts about swinging because they're interested in swinging now i'm going to look at podcasts about swinging just to see if there's another answer i didn't know that they had like

this is the thing that's the major thing about podcasting there's something for everyone mr and mrs w are swinging adventures

Oh, gotta listen.

New swingers podcast.

We are new swingers merely documenting and discussing our swinger journey and talking about the experiences we're having and the lessons we're learning.

I just want to say like there is a tiny percent chance like this does sound just interesting.

Entertaining.

Yeah.

But like no, you know, no.

There's midlife craving.

I followed, I didn't follow, this woman came up on my TikTok.

She was like, spend the day with me on a swinger's cruise.

And it was like this cruise of swingers like taking over this enormous

cruise ship.

and she was like showing the food and stuff.

Um,

and just because you watched it doesn't mean you want to swing, but that does sound like interesting content.

There's also Swing Nation, it actually was interesting.

I didn't know that there were podcasts for swingers, but I also didn't know there was a cruise for swingers, so you truly learn something new every day.

Diary of a swinging couple.

Can we help this girl, by the way, instead of promoting shows that aren't ours?

Um, talk, um, don't talk to him because

no, I think you can talk to him.

Wait, you were sneaking.

There's a space for you to listen to Diary of a Swinging Couple and the Toast.

Like, I don't feel competitive with them.

Okay, for sure.

But there's not space for your partner to be listening to a podcast about swinging.

Like, I'm going to draw a hard line here.

Yeah, unless it's like, you know, the new cereal and everyone's talking about it.

But we haven't, have we heard anything?

No.

Yeah.

And then I guess you don't want to bring it up to him because you don't want to like, you don't want to bring swinging into it.

I guess swinging, the good thing about swinging is like, he can't do it without you, you know, because then that's just like, then he would be cheating and he would listen to a a cheating podcast like you do it together so he can't go and swing without you so he will have to talk to you about it eventually

yeah do you wait for him to come to you like yeah because if you broach a subject then all of a sudden you're like considering swinging before you even had to consider it yeah but if you give him more time like he's really going to convince himself that this is something that he wants do you know what i mean yeah

And this is absolutely no shade to anybody who chooses to live their life in the way of swinging.

It's, you know, clearly, there's a lot of swingers.

But, you know, you shouldn't feel like you have to start swinging because your husband heard it on a podcast, you know.

Right.

And it takes two to swing.

That's kind of like the whole problem.

Yeah.

So it's therein lies the issue.

You have to want to also.

I think you.

And I'm going to assume that you don't.

You just have to like sit and pray.

Pray it away.

Yeah.

Pray the gay away.

Pray the swing away.

Pray the sway away.

Sorry if that's like a moment.

And seriously, don't do anything you're.

It's not, but

don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

And seriously, like when he, what's a good reaction to something like this?

I think you need to be like really dramatic at the absurdity of it all so he feels stupid.

Like, yeah, but then are you yucking his yums?

Sorry, like, we entered into this deal like with monogamy first, so it's not a yum.

It's unacceptable.

Yeah.

Like seriously, if Ben came to me and was like, I want to start swinging, I would be like, okay, so go outside.

Yeah.

Like, go on swings.

Like, it's so foreign.

But I guess like in certain, you know, subdivisions of this country, it's actually extremely common.

Yeah, they've been together 13 years, which does feel pretty mature for what I think I know about swinging.

You know, that party on the OC where they all put their watches in a bowl, like they were all older.

And then Sandy took his watch out.

And that's what I know about swinging.

What I know about swinging is from what was I watching?

Oh, that terrible show, Sex Life.

They like go to a swinger's party with like this in this like kind of wealthy neighborhood.

It kind of looked fun.

But I think people like swing.

I think they do too.

And there's like a lot of hidden signals.

Swing, swing.

Like if you're at your local grocery store and you buy a pineapple.

Yeah.

Do you know this?

I think I've seen this.

What do you do?

And you put your pineapple upside down in the grocery cart.

That like lets other people know.

It's like a virtue signal.

Like I swing, contact me.

Okay, but then if you don't put your cart away, they're watching you and they don't want to be friends with you.

Literally.

They're watching you.

Okay, wait, this next one is like kind of crazy.

Hey, Jackson Turd, love you both so much.

I'm an OG toaster.

I've got a short and sweet one here.

A bit of a first world problem, but it's really bothering me.

I travel for work a lot with my CEO.

About one trip per month, just the two of us.

Sounds like a spinning of a smut novel.

Not at all, right?

She keeps upgrading her flights to first class.

She.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you thought it was a man.

Oh, my God.

Look at Jackie's confirmation bias.

Yeah.

Okay, so she's

upgrading CEO.

Right, and it's confusing when you didn't say my girl boss and she, oh.

Yeah, she didn't use the

CEO pronouns.

So my boss keeps upgrading her flights to first class, not using points, using the company card, but not upgrading mine.

I made a joke of it the last trip and asked to be upgraded to and she just laughed.

Like, is this rude or am I being entitled?

I'm a VP and it's a small company.

I think

you're not right.

Yeah.

Like, I guess a VP, like, I think you get perks, but every company has like their framework for like how much you can spend on flights, who gets upgraded.

Like, they literally have in the companies, like, only CEOs and VPs get.

upgraded or can fly first class and directors fly this level.

So it's a small company.

So maybe they don't have that, but like she's the CEO and she's saying like, haha, it's ha ha.

Yeah, like you tried, like making sure you shired what she said.

You didn't get shired.

Love the confidence, because like it's kind of like a really crazy thing to do and say.

You tried.

You were brutally rebuffed.

And like you really can't be mad that she's up.

Like she's obviously.

Well, she's if she's doing it with the company card, she's well within her legal rights.

She's the CEO.

She makes the rules.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, and, you know, would it be nice of her, you know, two girl bosses out on a trip, traveling solo?

Yeah, it would be nice of her to upgrade you.

But she has no sort of obligation to do that.

And you being mad is, yes, to use your words, not mine.

It's extremely entitled.

And I just want to say, like, I feel like she's telling her friends, like, this girl that works at my company just asked why she's not sitting with me in first class.

Like, and she's like, just be glad, like, if nothing changes between the two of you.

Yeah, like, and let me just say, like, that sucks you know like to travel with someone and they be in first class and you not like sucks but like you're but no it's not like your friend or your partner like it's work right it doesn't right there's a hierarchy you're traveling no like just no but like from a human perspective like yeah that sucks like okay

but it's not wrong no

our third and final are you ready

Something I personally have zero

experience with.

I just, I can't remember.

Do I have experience?

Maybe.

Okay.

Good morning, Jackson Tarity.

I'm a Gen Z swirly and I need your help.

I joined an encampment, and I don't know how to get no kidding.

When I think of Gen Z, I just think of encampments.

Okay, Gen Z swirly here, I need you.

Okay,

okay.

Oh no.

Okay, I'm really fine.

I don't know how to do that.

But also, like, why are there still in camps?

Isn't it summer?

Yeah, no, like, tell me you're a loser without telling me.

You know, we already have to, like, suffer through their graduation protests.

Like, why are you still on campus?

Go home.

Okay.

I actually really do want to get to this.

My fiancé think.

My fiancé thinks that he can sing, and I've really never told him that he can't.

There was never a reason to tell him, and he was never straight up like asking me if he thought, if I thought he was a good singer, but now he wants to sing at our wedding.

Oh my gosh.

I don't know what to tell him.

Please help me.

Do I tell him that he can't sing?

Do I just let him sing?

He really wants to, and he thinks it would be really special.

I just have to say, like, if I didn't sing at my own wedding, there's literally no excuse for anybody else to.

Like, I think even if you marry Celine Dion, like, you shouldn't be singing at your own wedding, like, deadass.

And so, the fact that your husband like can't even sing is just cherry on top.

I don't think people should be like singing themselves down the aisle.

I, I like, I don't like that.

I also think that like how you handle this moment will set the tone for your relationship.

Like if you want to be like Simon Cow in a good way, like you could be like,

listen, I love you.

I'm so excited to marry you.

You're not singing at our wedding.

Like I think you need to be really strong about it.

And that also then like gives you runway to like be strong in other areas down the line and other problematic things.

So I don't even think you need to like

cushion this for him.

Like I think it it would be set good precedent of you laying down the law.

Yeah, no, directness is never a bad thing, but you do have to, you're right, cushion is the perfect word.

Like say it nicely because obviously.

No, no, I'm saying don't cushion it.

Oh.

I'm saying just like lay down the law.

Like this is absurd.

No, it is absurd.

Like we're grown-ups.

We're literally getting married.

But like how do you tell someone he obviously thinks he has a good voice because he wants to sing at his own wedding in front of hundreds of people.

So you could start with being like, I want you and I to you could try and like do a little lie where it's like, I want it to be about you and I.

If you're singing, you're going to be worried about your performance, like thinking you're going to be backstage, like doing sound check when we're supposed to be like having our moments together.

And I don't want that to take away from our special day.

So you could like give a little lie.

And then if he's like, no, I really want to.

And he's like being a baby about it, then you could be like, and you're not a good singer.

You're not a good enough singer to sing at our wedding.

Cause I'm sure he's fine.

I just want to say, like, I like, you know, think I have a great voice, much like this guy.

I happen to know I'm like very in tune with reality so I know that I do have like I don't have like the best voice ever but I have a good singing voice like I can carry a tune but if somebody I loved like you if you literally sat me down and you were like Claudia do you know like this whole time you've never had a good voice like you actually like are a bad singer I actually can't even visualize it because it's so not true but like I would be

crushed.

I don't think it's necessary to say that.

I think if you have to get really honest, you could say like your voice isn't good enough to sing at our wedding.

Like you're not Andrea Bocelli.

Also, Claudia, you sang at my wedding.

And if you remember, because I do, like it hindered some of your experience.

You felt like you couldn't start drinking until after your performance.

You were not.

No, and when they told me I sat down for dinner and they were like, you're eating after dessert.

I'm like, after dessert?

You wanted to check out something fun?

Like you were nervous.

You were in there for sound check while other people were having cocktail hour.

Like logistically.

And so you can say this.

You can make this the excuse.

Even if he did have an amazing voice, like it would take away from his experience on the day.

There are a million things that you can say.

This man's not singing singing at your wedding and you need to put your foot down.

No, and sometimes like really men need to be told.

Like, and this might be one of those situations, like, it's really absurd.

Even if you have like a somewhat good voice, like singing at your own wedding, I'm sorry, is like top 10 cringiest things you could do.

Yeah, I really like making it about it taking away from his experience on the day because it's so true, even if you had an amazing voice.

Yeah, it's true.

It is true.

I lived it, learned from my experience.

Yeah.

So you do have a stat with it, all to say.

Oh, it's true.

It's true.

That is Deer Toasters, our weekly advice segment.

Again, you can email us, dear toasters, at gmail.com or head to our website, the toastpodcast.com.

That is our episode, Jax.

It's a pleasure.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast and Linux Morning Show.

Real the Fast Fast Stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We are also available as podcasts, anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IR Radio Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts.

Find us to toast leave a five-star review about how beautiful, about how stunning, and about how wickedly talented we are.

Have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.