Whatever Major Loser: Tuesday, June 11th, 2024

1h 2m
  1. Shirtless Joe Jonas cozies up to actress Laila Abdallah in Greece after Stormi Bree breakup (Page Six) (24:00)
  2. Denise Richards Returning to Reality TV in New Family Series 'Denise Richards and the Wild Things' (ET Online) (28:10)
  3. Ladies of London's Marissa Hermer Files for Divorce From Husband Matt After 14 Years of Marriage (US Weekly) (35:12)
  4. Pet Brand Creates 'PrePup' Agreement to Help Pet Owners Co-Parent 'In Healthy Ways' During a Breakup (PEOPLE) (41:54)
  5. 'Bachelorette' Trista Sutter's cryptic absence due to 'Special Forces' reality show (Page Six) (50:06)


The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob

Lean In

The Camper and The Counselor by Jackie Oshry

Merch

The Toast Patreon

Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry


See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Listen and follow along

Transcript

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday.

Uh, okay, like, sure,

yeah,

whatever you say.

Like, say, yeah, it's Tuesday.

To me, like, it's Thursday.

It could be any day, really.

I guess we have to choose that it's the day of the twos, whatever, whatever,

yeah,

whatever major loser, like it's Tuesday, deal with it, okay?

How about that?

Uh, honestly, the way Demetria

shifted the culture with those fingers, like the way she went W-E-M-L,

you couldn't stop me from doing that in like the sixth grade.

Seriously,

that was a cultural shift.

It was.

And today is definitely giving that energy.

I know why for me, like we have thunderstorms today, which is very exciting, which is why I'm wearing like a big cozy sweatshirt.

Are you going to make a chili?

So I was thinking technically, usually a cozy day calls for a chili, but it's not in my palate right now.

Like I'm very much like in my like sourdough, as you all know, like eggs and toast.

And I want to save chili.

I don't ever want to have a chili when I'm not ready for it.

I know what you should make.

What?

A beef stew.

Because remember when we had your beef stew, like it was so good with that croissant.

No, what was it?

Like no, no, it wasn't.

Like a ciabata bread.

What was it?

Chiabata.

What is this?

A panera?

What is that?

A baguette.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

I got my French words confused a baguette like the baguette was made it so good like imagine a fresh piece of sourdough but bistew is so hearty like it's such a winter dish i can't explain it okay so you just like want to be difficult no no no i'm not i'm just trying to pinpoint like what's a rainy summer dish sound off in the comments for real oh a rain okay like a gazpacho like i don't know no

but yeah

Romeo's here at work today.

He's taking a little nap because he works so hard, but I just want everyone to know, what does that sound like?

I don't know, turtle.

I feel like your roof is about to cave in.

I know from the thunderstorms, but yeah, no, there's definitely sound came from like an area that's just like house.

There's no room over there.

Oh my God, maybe it's like a possum in your like walls or something.

Okay, let's just leave it at that.

And hopefully that was that.

And let's just let the let the chips fall.

Hopefully the possum has settled himself.

Yeah, I mean, he's getting ready to listen to a fabulous episode of The Toast.

Yeah, like, enjoy, take your time.

Maybe there's like a go macro bar laying around that you could chew on.

Chew on that.

Chew on that.

Tuesday.

Chew on that, possum.

And just let me get through the show.

Yeah, yeah.

We have business to attend to.

We do have business to attend to.

Speaking of business,

there's a lot going on over at the Patreon this week because oh my god, I totally forgot.

Yeah, Claudia dropped a Patreon episode yesterday, like a summer fashion haul, which is like so exciting.

And something that I that I was doing.

So

I wrote to Claudia, I was like, I've gotten, I've done so much shopping recently, like I'm going to do a summer haul.

And she was like, oh, okay, I'll do one too.

So we both recorded ours yesterday.

And Claudia edited hers and posted hers before mine.

Okay, I didn't like go rogue, by the way.

I said, by the way, my thing is uploaded in Patreon.

So whenever you want to schedule the post, like yours can go first.

Mine can go.

It doesn't matter.

But I wanted to get people content.

And so

the usurper.

The haul usurper.

Usurper.

Yes.

While it was Jackie's idea to do a a haul, lest we not forget who invented hauls on the Patreon.

Like, if we're going to go there, like

no, we don't go there.

I'm just saying, like, you usurped my haul.

My haul is dropping today, and I'm very excited about it.

So, we've just been like in content land is what I'm saying.

Yeah, no, getting my haul in this

rave reviews.

I'm in the middle of your haul.

But it's really hard to watch someone's haul, a successful haul, and not click to buy everything.

Like, that first outfit that you're wearing from, she's wearing Abercrombie.

How cute?

Need.

I know.

The thing is, we're the same size, same like color.

Do I buy my own or do I borrow yours?

No, we'll be together this whole summer and I have it in two colors.

But, you know, now you don't want to wear it.

We should wear it at the same time, like Mary Kate and Ashley style in different colors.

Not to pit haul against another haul, but I happen to know a little bit about your haul.

And I just want to say, if you're looking for some affordable options, you're going to want to check out my haul.

I think that's a generalization.

And Jackie's is giving very much like a Livia Jade luxury holiday haul, you know, like what she's famous for.

And it's important that our channel have both and be balanced.

I have a mix, I feel

okay about saying.

So that's dropping today from me, get excited.

And it's just from who?

Me.

And it's like, even though content week is over, Toast Shark Week ended last week, like we still are doing so much content this week because that's who we are.

It's almost like it's our jobs, you know?

It's

like we have already done two vlogs this week.

Like that's major.

It's major.

I um wanted to update everyone on my educational content journey.

I hit a bit of a stall last night.

I watched this movie, The Boys in the Boat.

I'd been wanting to watch it, but every time we go, Ben's like not into it, and he was out last night, so I was like, Okay, I'll watch it.

And honestly, I hate to say it.

You know, these are the three words that kills me, but like Ben was right.

The movie's dunk.

I couldn't even finish it.

Like, I think I got through like 40 minutes.

I've never even heard of it.

It's about it's apparently a truth story about this rowing team at the University of Washington or whatever

during the Great Depression that like

brings the nation joy.

I honestly, I seriously didn't even get there.

I don't know what happens.

Like the movie's dunk.

My favorite Great Depression film is Annie.

My favorite Great Depression film is patreon.com slash the toast.

Because it's greatly depressing?

No, because all it's just, it's just my favorite piece of work.

What is your association with the Great Depression in terms of content?

Like, what do you know?

Sero.

There's a couple movies that are like set in the the great depression of course annie classic but that one about the boxer cinderella man

i'm unfamiliar russell crow

that's a big

i currently have like some blinders on you know i'm not yeah if you want to read a book about the great depression cinderella man set in the great depression played by russell crow

okay Go off.

And you said, if I wanted to read a book about the Great Depression, I don't.

The Four Winds by Kristen Hanna would be the one.

However, like it's dreadful because it was a dreadful time, but I think it would give you a sense of

life during the Great Depression.

The thing is, like, I don't need to read about the Great Depression, Depression.

Like, I experienced it 2020.

Like, that was our Great Depression.

So, I don't need to.

So, what's funny is we actually read The Four Winds for the Redheads in 2020.

Oh.

And so we were like comparing, because, you know, people like were saying that.

And no, it wasn't.

Like, no, it wasn't.

It was worse then, or worse now?

Worse then.

Beyond worse then.

Like, there's no can't afford gas, so you're hitching up your horse again, even though you have a car in the garage, but you can't even drive it.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

Leak.

So, yeah, that was like kind of the movie I watched.

It stunk, but I won't be discouraged.

Tonight's another night, another opportunity to learn.

I also watched Real House Rose of New Jersey, which was so good.

It is so good.

And I have some thoughts.

Specifically, a lot of people wanted to know my thoughts on John Fuda.

Rachel Fuda's husband is kind of like a main character.

He's beefing hard with Teresa and Louie, and they like

organize this sit-down between the couples.

Like Teresa and Louie meet John and Rachel Fuda at like some restaurant in a back private room.

Like they literally think they're in the godfather.

And John Fuda really thinks he's in the godfather.

So let me say this about John Fuda because like he's super cringe.

Like for the way he talks, like he seriously is in an off, off, off Broadway production of The Godfather of the Musical.

Like he's like, you talk about my family, my family.

And I'm like, okay, stop.

And he has had this like major glow up and he got brand new teeth and they just don't fit in his mouth.

So he's just like, it's kind of like teeth, it's off-Broadway.

It's a lot.

But in the context of the argument, I 100% agree with him.

But he's like hard to champion because he's so cringe.

And

like, you know, Teresa owes him an apology.

Like, there's no way around that.

Like, she brought up, I guess when he was a kid, he got arrested for selling marijuana.

Right.

And it was kind of this like his roman empire and he like rebuilt his life and they're like actually really they're not ashamed of it it wasn't like an a secret but therese's now going around saying he used to be the biggest drug dealer in bergen county yeah but when she said it by the way she didn't even say used to she just called

the biggest drug dealer so then there was an insinuation like john food sells drugs so then they're like well did you say he was or he is and rachel food was like it doesn't matter either way like you weaponizing something that my husband went through like you're a piece of shit and you fucking been to prison she literally said that right and no she kills it.

Her husband doesn't have the same sort of power with the words.

She's really good and she's very even-tempered.

And so Teresa was like, well, if you heard me say that, and he's like, that's God.

He's like not letting it go.

Maybe someone else would be like, thank you.

Cause Teresa did say the words, sorry, and I apologize.

I apologize if you think you heard that.

That's not an apology.

And he's not fucking letting it go.

And then, of course, the episode ends where it's like, they get up and leave.

They're screaming.

You are the face of mortgage fraud.

Like, it doesn't finish yet.

But I, I'm having a a really hard time sort of,

I stand firmly on the Fuda team.

I'm having a hard time getting behind John Fuda.

He's just like a little corny.

Okay.

There's worse crimes.

There are worse crimes.

Like selling drugs.

Yes.

Or mortgage fraud.

True.

I'm watching The Valley.

I probably like, I keep ending in the middle of an episode and then like watch.

So I don't watch like episode two.

I watch like half of episode two and half of episode three.

And it's really, it's going crazy these valley kids like really it's buck wild i'm having a really hard time following like the core drama right now in this moment is uh she said she said he said she said she said that she's racist and it's just it's like the craziest thing to follow because like Kristen said that Zach said that Jasmine said that Janet said that Michelle is maybe a racist even though like Janet said she never said that Jasmine said I never said that and then Kristen's like you all said that and And, and I don't like, I don't, we don't know these people.

We only know Kristen.

And it's like, Kristen has a track record of being capable of lying.

So like, I'm not inclined to believe her.

And I also think it was like a bad game of telephone where it was like inferring racism, like just because of something else she once might have said.

Like, it's just really hard to follow.

And a

very strange fight.

And I,

I don't know where we go from here.

I didn't realize they were tackling you know big topics like racism on the valley.

I knew that there was like a big fight because like someone calls someone a Republican and that oh my god I had no idea.

Oh my god.

So I had seen that was somewhere and then when Megan McCain was on the on Watch What Happens Live, Andy asked her about that plot line like what did you think?

And she was like, no, my friends in DC, like we're in a Republican chat and we were so upset about like it was because it really it was like a crazy

the valley is making waves in Washington like the valley is so political it was like this crazy leap and inference of like calling like she was like she's a Republican and so she's probably racist it was just like oh that's awkward yeah and it just like a game of telephone it was like and I don't think anybody at the table thinks that person is a racist like so that's not the issue the issue is like everything that was said and then Kristen bringing it up in the worst most diabolical way I mean that's literally what she's there for.

So

it's so crazy.

Cause then the girl who's accused of racism, her husband was like michelle's not a racist and you should know how damaging that is because you were thrown off the show for being a racist oh oh oh oh right and the way kristen like breaks down like that's crossed a line like and then in her in

she's like why would someone bring this up it's like you brought the r word into this conversation when the original fight it was like the r word racism Oh, oh, oh, I thought we were then going into ableism.

I can't follow.

Like, literally, we could have.

That's how all over the place this fight is.

And by the the way, Kristen lobbied this accusation because the original fight, Brittany, they had a girl's night and a boys' night.

At boys' night, Jax invites Kristen's new boyfriend, who doesn't like, but he's also friends with Kristen's ex.

So Jax does his Jax thing and invites the ex to, even though he has no business being on the show.

And at girls' night, Brittany tells Kristen, by the way, I think Alex is going to be here tonight.

And Kristen's like so upset.

And then she's like, everyone's stirring stuff up.

Janet said Michelle's a racist.

Like, we're like, what?

What does that have to do with it?

And it's like, She was back into a corner.

So she starts like slinging stuff.

So she brought it up.

And then in her interview, she's like just devastated that someone would bring up the racism manner pump rules thing.

And it's like, you brought up this entire conversation.

No, and also like now that it's like a conversation's being had, like, how do you not bring up like the biggest piece of evidence?

And it's like, you know, how damaging it is to like have that word associated with your name.

Like, why would you be the one?

Yeah.

Yikes.

Yikes, bikes.

It's so crazy.

Like, I'm so not Team Kristen.

Like, I don't even know what the general,

where people are at in episode four, but I feel like so much more happens throughout the season.

Like, this is from weeks ago.

You know, I think, yeah, I don't know if two couples even are surviving this season.

No, and by the end of the season, I'm pretty sure it's all about the deconstruction of Jackson Brittany's marriage, like in real time.

Right.

But then, are they the only couple that didn't survive season one?

Because there's another couple that's certainly on the fritz.

I don't think in an official capacity that they're like separated or anything.

I'm moving for them, but they have a hard road ahead of them.

Are they the one whose baby is on Young Sheldon?

No.

Oh my God.

That couple, like so in love they are.

Danny and Mia, like such a sweet couple.

They have, they have three, and he keeps saying it and everyone thinks he's annoying, but it's such a big, they have three kids under two because they have an 18-month-old and twins that are six weeks old.

And he was that guy who was an actor on like Hannah Montana and iCarly.

If you saw his face, you would know him.

His name is Danny something.

Just search Danny DiValley.

Oh, he's like a teen harvest.

That show sounds amazing.

Buddy, there's so many layers here.

Like Jasmine Good from The Bachelor is on it.

Oh my God, wait.

Danny Buko, wait, wait, does he only look familiar to me now, like from the bachelor?

No, go to like teenage pictures of him.

He's like a, he's a working actor for 18 years.

He has a voice book.

Yep, yep, yep.

Oh, wait, by the way, 1,000%.

And let me tell you, when he was young, he was so hot.

I mean, he's still like very good-looking.

Like, he was like the classic good-looking guy on that show.

He's been a working actor for 18 years.

He has a voice booth in his house.

He does like working, like, he's classic Sagastra to me.

And then his wife, Nia, who is just like so precious.

She gave birth to twins six weeks ago, like on the show, pumping, dumping, like just doing it all.

And they're so in love.

And even in like the thick, like, they're just so sweet to each other.

They're like a really sweet couple.

And she's a former Miss USA.

So like he's an actor who's had success and good times in the industry.

Like, sure, their twins should be on TV.

Like, and they're reality TV.

Like, they're just industry people.

Yeah, they're industry folk.

But they have a really sweet relationship and it's definitely nice because a lot of the other ones are tumultuous

so yeah michelle and jason are having a hard time oh i kind of want to watch it yeah and then the other couple would be janet and jason she's pregnant and they seem really like i think i think the voices of reason on the show however that's not true it's not well because then the limited things that i know about the valley is like janet is turn so far i like janet but that tries because then zach said something but i don't know her like i like what in her confessional she like makes sense i like people like one plus one equals two not sock yeah kristen it's always sock over there it's sock but then zach was like janet is so manipulated like he like just put it in my head that like she can't be trusted so now i'm like okay i'll keep that in mind but so far like she hasn't done anything we'll see yeah

and um Zach is Brittany's friend from Kentucky, correct?

Yes, but now he's, I think, even closer with Kristen and Jasmine.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Everyone's like best friends, but then they like say the nastiest shit about it.

Like, I don't know where people's allegiances lie.

But I think they've, you know,

thrown their allegiances by the wayside because they want season two.

I love that.

I love people who are committed.

That energy is really, really dominant in the show.

I love that.

Yeah.

So I'm enjoying myself.

I'm so glad to hear that.

I would love to know what the story's, you know, vibe is today.

I would say the vibe is interesting but light fair.

IBLF.

IBLF, yeah.

Can you dig it?

I can.

I'm down for anything.

I'm such like a good time gal.

You know, I'm so easygoing.

Very much go with the flow.

Never complains.

Have I ever told the story?

You know what?

Actually, never mind.

Just ignore what I said.

Okay.

With that, should I ignore all the way into the fast five stories that we need to know?

I guess.

Like the part of the show where we talk about ourselves is over.

It's just devastating.

Is there anything more you want to share about yourself?

I wish that there was, you know?

Yeah.

Maybe tomorrow's a new day.

Maybe there'll be more turdy updates.

How's your aura ring?

Oh, I actually, on the way to the toast today, meant to tell you this and just sort of declare publicly, the aura ring is the single greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my life.

Like the love I have for this ring is so crazy.

I think I owe like all my happiness and like to your aura with an A, to your aura with an O, to my aura.

I

absolutely crushed it yesterday.

It was so gorgeous outside, it wasn't hot, it was just like perfect.

Romeo had to go to the doctor, like, we just walked around, we went to the kosher grocer, 14,000 steps.

Like, you seriously, you can't compete with me.

And how many did your phone pick up?

Like, you would have thought, oh, I had a 6,000-step day.

That's what's so crazy.

Okay, so yesterday I had 14,850 on my ore ring.

And then on my phone,

10,000.

Damn.

Especially because when I walk Chromeo, I don't take my phone because I like, if I'm on my phone when I'm walking him, he'll pee and I won't see it.

And I'll be walking around for another 20 minutes being like, go pee.

Understood.

So,

no, I just, I can't, like, seriously, can't stress enough how life-changing this ring is.

So thank you.

You're welcome.

It's already on the list.

Don't worry.

Great.

Of things that I've been trying to tell you about that I thought you would like.

That's just great.

So now without further ado, it's time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.

And the Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by Taylor Farms.

Now, you know, we love Taylor Farms salads, but I have recently discovered they have, do you know this show?

I do know because I got a big box of it to my house.

We were eating it that day at my house and we did a photo shoot.

It was craft services.

They have vegetable trays, like crude vibes, okay?

They're filled with fresh, cleaned vegetables.

It's perfect for a potluck a picnic anything you need to bring something to or you just want to bring a healthy option um as you guys know taylor farms is a family-owned company on a mission to create healthy lives through fresh delicious food and their veg trays have a peel and reseal lid so if you actually want to bring it somewhere of course you can just like rip the top off and leave it there on the spread but if you're buying it for your house like you can open it up and they have great sauces in the middle ben was loving their ranch like dip it up and then you could seal it back and put it back in the fridge.

So I love this for a multitude of reasons.

One, because any sort of event, whether it be potluck or just want to bring something to someone's house, we all know I'm not like successfully like baking a cake for someone, like a bunt cake or whatever.

So picking one of these up, know that it's, you know, washed, it's clean, it's good, it's fresh.

I can't, I can't, I don't know why I was so shocked that they made these, but I think it's brilliant.

No, I was thankful.

That's for sure.

You were thankful.

It's perfect for it's grad season and dad season for the grads and the dads.

Get a veg tray from Taylor Farms.

As you guys know, you can purchase Taylor Farms and their veg trays in the produce department, wherever you like to shop.

It's available at all major grocery stores.

Slay!

Slay the house down.

That's Taylor Farms available at all major grocery stores.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Liquid IV.

Summer is jam-packed and the heat is no joke, so we have to prioritize hydration.

We are made of 60 to 70% water, so when we're dehydrated, we will feel imbalanced.

And you know the signs, fogginess, fatigue.

For me, it's migraine.

A lot of people, it's nausea.

You can even faint.

With all the drinks out there, you want hydration that works.

And Liquid IV delivers extraordinary hydration with advanced science thanks to the LIV HydroScience, an optimized ratio of electrolytes, vitamins, and nutrients.

One stick of Liquid IV delivers superior hydration.

to water alone.

It has three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, plus eight vitamins and nutrients.

It's hydration for endurance, for mental clarity, and overall well-being.

Yes, I'm on top of my electrolyte game, given the fact that I'm a runner.

Yeah, I'm on week three of my 12-week running program, but also just like in the heat, no matter who you are, Liquid IV is great for people with an active lifestyle, great for people who live in warm climates, great for people who are hungover.

There's really no bad time to take a liquid IV.

I always have one in my purse.

The flavors are really good.

If you travel a lot, I always drink one on a plane because I'm prone to headaches on planes.

It's the number one powered hydration brand in America.

It's got three times the electrolytes.

You basically tear it, pour it in your water, and then live more.

One stick goes into 16 ounces of water.

It hydrates you better than water alone.

And they also have four delicious sugar-free flavors: white peach, green grape, raspberry melon, and lemon lime.

Lemon line is my favorite.

Turn your ordinary water into extraordinary hydration with liquid IV.

Get 20% off your first order of liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use our code toast at checkout.

That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code toast at liquidiv.com.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Macy's.

Macy's is out here reminding you that Father's Day is so incredibly soon.

It's June 16th.

That's this weekend.

That's this Sunday.

And Macy's is offering the ultimate gift guide to make selecting something special for dad super easy this year.

I don't think there's like a harder day to shop for than Father's Day.

Like men are so

complicated, you know?

They're actually not.

They're incredibly simple.

And that's why, like, what do you get them?

What do they even like?

Like, how many pairs of like golf shoes can you get them?

Well, Macy's is a gift guide giving you great ideas.

And then they also make it super easy to shop.

You can shop by price.

So you can go $25 and under, $50 and under, $100, and then Lux.

You can also shop by category, cologne, watches, leather goods.

The thing I love about Macy's is like you can shop for anything from Macy's.

So whether you're looking for clothes, home stuff, fragrances,

anything for dad like that you could possibly think of will be sold at Macy's.

So it's the best place to shop.

And their gift guide is really, really helpful.

They have different gift lists.

So if you have a golfer in your life or a griller, somebody loves to grill it up.

Some of their top gifts include speed, include Beats headphones, the JBL portable speaker, which I have is fabulous, Nintendo Switch, and more.

Maybe the father in your life is a gamer.

So head to Macy's.com slash gift finder today to shop brands like Calvin Klein, Lego, Le Crusé, Tommy Hill Figure, Polo, Ralph Florin, Columbia, and more.

That's Macy's.com/slash gift finder, M-A-C-Y-S dot com slash gift finder.

Thank you, Law.

Yeah, well, I was at Macy's yesterday.

They had so many cute things.

Oh, I heard you were at the mall.

I was.

My vlog of Hall vlog made me realize how many more things I need.

That's

classic, classic stuff.

Our first story, kind of surprising news, Joe Jonas was spotted cozying up to a new leading lady, actress Layla Abdallah, in Greece after his breakup with Stormy Bree.

That was confirmed two weeks ago.

So who knows when they actually broke up, though it couldn't have been that long ago.

They've been spotted together.

But Joe Jonas is burning up in Greece.

He's hot, you're cold, you go around like you go.

Who wrote this?

No, no, no.

That was just like...

Oh.

Oh, I thought you were reading.

Like, you know, when these articles

it started with Joe Jonas is burning up in Greece page six Jack Yashre he's hot you're cold I need oh my god I literally have this bathing suit the blue one that she's wearing yeah is it from I'm pretty sure it's from Kenny Flowers I just got it in it's so not you

no I know I got it um in PR oh cute um wait I need to make it kind of like if you're me I feel like it's very okay my god

can I have one thing you can have it you can have it it's just like it's just kind of me

than you.

But Joe was photographed getting touchy feely with actress Layla Abdallah on Sunday, less than two weeks after his split was confirmed with Stormy Bree.

Joe went shirtless, spotting green swim trucks and a matching cap while hanging in the ocean with the brunette.

There's hugs.

There's touching of the nose.

I see.

There's touching of the hands.

Is that a foot?

No, that's a hand.

I thought it was giving Sarah Ferguson for a second.

Yeah, so he's like having a little holiday romance.

This This is kind of crazy, don't you think?

It is.

I like him.

It's so crazy.

There was a time in my life where I would have like seriously like laid down in front of traffic for Joe Jonas to notice me.

Like, I would have, like, for most of my young adult life, like, I was in love with this man.

And the way I'm like so icked out by him now, I don't know.

I just like don't like him.

And I just like feel like it's important to hold like each of them to the same standard.

And like, if Sophie Turner broke up with her aristocrat

and two weeks later was like in the ocean with another man, like she would literally literally get her ass handed to her and like, this is no different to me.

And I think like, honestly, it's, it's weird.

I agree.

And he was dating Stormy for like a few months.

Like for a while.

Like he wasn't.

Like be by yourself.

How about that?

No, I it begs the question, Joe Jonas, what are you running for?

Like does Joe Jonas know how to go by himself?

And now that you think about it.

Yeah.

Has he ever been single?

Like he's always in a relationship.

And I feel like if he were a girl, we would have noticed this a long time ago.

But it was like, we're always talking about Joe Jonas's girlfriends.

It's so true.

I mean, to name a few, Taylor Swift, Gigi Hadid, Swiss, Ashley Green, Turner.

Wait, Joe Jonas dated Alice from Twilight?

Yeah, they were like the.

They were.

Everyone that he dates is like the.

You think that's going to be it?

Because he's like a serial

dater.

Oh my God, they were so young.

Wait, I'm dying.

I mean, this era.

Demi Lovato.

He had like spiky hair.

That was definitely

like my era.

He's so cute.

Demi Lovato.

Yeah, no, I've just started to see things differently.

Do you know what I mean?

When it comes to this man.

And I'm glad you brought up that interesting statistic about...

And there's nothing wrong with being in a lot of relationships, but it's just, you know, worth noting.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, Sophie Turner's in, you know, her production of Aristocats, having a grand old time.

Yeah, no, it's so funny, you know, it all comes out in the wash.

Yeah, always the chips fall where they may.

Time tells all.

I'm glad we were able to let the chips fall where they may because they thought they fell.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, like, cool.

Yeah, Joe Jonas, like, having a summer romance.

Some love.

I'm not going to get too attached.

Me neither.

Clearly, it's kind of meaningless to him.

Clearly, women are just accessories to him.

Noted.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Some reality TV news.

Denise Richards is returning to reality TV in a new family series called Denise Richard and the Wild Things.

It will air on E in 2025.

Lights Camera.

Denise Richards is coming back to TV.

On Monday, E announced that the actress is making her return to reality TV alongside her family for a new docuseries titled Denise Richard and the Wild Things.

The half-hour comic series will be executive produced by Denise and follow her and her family, including her daughters Sammy and Lola, whom she shares with ex-husband Charlie Sheen and Eloise, whom she adopted and her husband Aaron will also be a part of the series.

When will the e-network learn?

You know, they've been trying like this same thing for 20 years and they hit once with the Kardashians and they've been trying to like reclaim that family real reality TV magic ever since.

I don't think Denise Richards is going to be it.

Because Denise Richards on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills like was compelling.

Mostly due to her celebrity status and the way the other women acted around her but like I wouldn't say she was like

so

even like her home scenes with Aaron and like him thinking that people were hunting him down for his machines against cancer like radiation.

Like

I don't know if it was like begging for a spin-off, you know yeah I have a lot of thoughts but first like you don't have more respect for Aaron like after you were told that like he could save Theo did I say that story on the toast I feel like you did

apparently

he's making waves

yeah people like in LA um I don't want to say who told me this because I just feel like I don't know why Aaron like literally I feel like I'm gonna start hunting down

him yeah like apparently he does possess some sort of cancer beating technology that is seriously what I heard from like somebody like actually like

legitimate.

And if you had brought Dew

to Aaron,

he could have helped.

I also heard

just totally separately, I heard a like kind of crazy thing from like an extremely legitimate source.

I told you this.

Okay.

I don't know if I should say it, but like I haven't seen it out there yet.

But apparently, allegedly, Morgan Wallen is hooking up with Lana Del Rey.

Oh, I saw that too, but I don't know where I saw it.

You saw it?

I told you that.

Oh, so that's not out there.

So that's where I saw it in my texts.

Let me check my text.

I'll see where I saw it.

But it's not like, wait.

Oh, no.

Or is it out there already?

And am I just like saying stuff?

It's not in my texts.

Let's see.

No, there's no news about it.

Like, I just.

All my texts.

I hardly.

I searched Wallen in my text.

Me.

I want to go to Morgan Wallin Wallin at MetLife.

Me a year before.

Morgan Wallin at MetLife, May 2020.

And then she didn't even come.

Me a year before.

Ugh, Morgan Wallin is playing Palm Beach, May 5th.

LOL.

So, yeah, that was just like some good tea that I heard.

Yeah.

I heard it in a haze, but probably in the same place you did.

Who do we talk to?

You didn't.

What are you talking about, Jackie?

I heard it for, I spoke to somebody.

Yeah.

They told me.

Okay.

And I told you.

You just told me verbally

on FaceTime or when we were together.

Okay, then.

No, when we were together.

When we were getting ready for the show.

And who told you?

Give me a clue just to jog my memory.

No.

Okay.

Rude.

Like, I don't reveal myself.

Okay, rude.

I'll tell you.

Else to say, I don't ship.

And I offer no explanation.

No, I get it.

A thought as succinct and poignant as that requires no explanation.

They both seem like cool.

I wouldn't put them together.

That's all.

Back to Denise Richards on Reality TV.

I think for Denise, this is a major W.

To go from an ensemble show where they threw you to the wolves and she kind of left when she first left.

She returned leading the pack.

She returned leading the pack.

When she first left, she left in disgrace.

When she came back and fought with Erica, once again, she left in double disgrace.

And now she's coming to a legitimate network with a show that she's at the helm of.

Like, this is a great look for Denise.

it is

pending that the show doesn't like you know even if it's a one season one move after one season but it's like it's a good next move like let's not get ahead of ourselves like just acknowledge the space that we're in like denise richards got a reality show that's a w for anyone in the industry

and an easy reality show at that not tlc alec baldwin I think a lot of women on that network also

would literally kill him.

They'd gun for it.

They would kill a person for their own.

Lisa Rinna thought like her and her daughters were going to be like the next big hop thing.

Like they all sort of like positioned themselves.

And in some of the franchises, it happens.

Like Candy Burris got her own spinoff.

Kim Zolsiak.

So

yeah, this definitely like Lisa Rinna's having a bad day.

Yeah.

So I'm happy for Denise because she's taken a couple L's in the last few years in the reality TV space and this is a major W.

I do echo your, what you've said that like, I don't know that this is going to be amazing, but I hold space for the potential that it could be.

Yeah, what happened to the Bradshaw bunch?

Like, every couple of years, E puts their whole pussy behind like some family network TV show.

They didn't let the Bradshaw bunch go down like for a while.

They kept giving them more seasons.

I don't know one person that watched it.

I never saw one second of that show.

Neither.

But they always,

and they always act like, oh, we're back.

Like, you remember, it was like after Kardashi left, they were like, Nikki Glazer, this is our big new show.

Never renewed for a second season.

Like, they can't get arrested.

Like, ever since the Kardashians, like, they have not been able to do one thing successfully.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Couple of, like,

three seasons.

Moments.

Very Cavalier, Brada Shannon.

Very famously single.

What happened to that show?

I love that show.

I know.

But I don't know.

I don't know.

It's so bizarre.

Yeah, they should try something new.

I mean, someone, like, I don't know why it's so hard for studios or networks to like see what's going on in the culture and like immediately, immediately pick up on it.

Like, why doesn't Nara Smith have a cooking show yet?

Yeah.

Like easy, done.

Yeah.

It's did your job for you.

And like they really need to work on how like that takes three years.

Yeah, they do.

Did you see?

By the way, speaking of today's sponsor, Nara Smith did a sponsored post with Liquid Ivy.

No, I did not.

She drank a peach elixir and then made her own peach gem because it inspired her so much.

Oh my God, I love that.

It's so authentic.

And of course with some homemade bread.

Of course.

Oh, I'll I'll have to go look.

Yeah.

Oh, I love that.

So, yeah, not us and Nara Smith having lots in common.

We both drink Liquid IV and make our own.

And it's nice to know that the ingredients are NARA approved.

I know.

I thought that was a huge win for Liquid IV.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Which is kind of a story for me and a handful of other people who I know are going to be really affected and devastated by this news because ladies of London.

What trash show got canceled?

Worse.

Ladies of London, Marissa Hermer, files for divorce from her husband, Matt, after 14 years of marriage.

Yeah, this is shocking, especially to those of us who watch the show because they were solid as a rock.

Power couple.

Power couple.

Ladies of London star Marissa Hermer filed for divorce from husband Matt Hermer.

Us Weekly can confirm.

They put out a statement to Us Weekly on Monday saying, together through tremendous soul searching, we have evolved our relationship to a place that gives us space to raise our family, support each other, and grow our businesses.

While our marriage was a success, it is now complete and we've made the decision to separate.

The love we share for our family and mutual respect for each other will continue to grow into our next chapter as we are committed to being parents, best friends, and business partners.

I'm sort of devastated about this.

Like they moved out of London a couple of years ago and really took LA by the balls.

Like they're super successful, bunch of restaurants.

I love her restaurant, Olivetta.

Like

this is devastating, like seriously.

And from what we saw on the show, their dynamic was so sweet.

Like so in love.

I would never, if I had to think of a couple that was getting divorced from that show, like they would be the last guess.

So this is how they have three kids together that are 12, 10, and 8.

We remember Sadie was born on Ladies of London.

I do often wonder why she was never cast on Beverly Hills Housewives.

She's perfect for it.

Yeah.

And she's obviously open to reality TV because I think she had a good experience on that show.

And I think that show was really good for her business.

Yeah, maybe that could be in the cards one day.

I think she would be perfect.

And I think she operates not in the same social circles, but adjacent circles.

Yeah.

Well, maybe now that would be something she'd want to do.

Maybe she's just been like

hard.

It's like, also, you forget, like, housewise is fun, but it's like a full-time job.

Who do you think of most when you like reflect back on that time?

Like now, who do you wonder about the most?

Because for me, like, the star of Ladies of London has and always will be Caprice.

I know that for you, that she is, but there is so much in Ladies of London.

First of all, Caroline stanberry like for me of course number one she's the star of the show but like i'm so glad to like she has a podcast she's on real houses of dubai she is an influencer like i get my fix so but there oh and who was sophie stanberry was that that was her sister-in-law sister-in-law but they were divorcing but sophie i re-watched ladies of london um two years ago and sophie stabbed caroline in the back i i i i know sophie was at her wedding recently but like i just know their relationship was never the same after literally sophie came on tv and threw her sister under the bus when when literally

Carolyn was taking Sophie's side in the divorce over her own brother, that's how good of a friend she was.

I don't remember much about Sophie other than the fact that she had like some of the most phenomenal hair like ever on television.

Yeah, that's really what there is to know.

Then also Noel.

Do you remember Noelle?

She was the American girl.

She like really was trying to get into high society.

She was dating a guy who was like a billionaire, but all of his money was frozen because he was like, you know, being investigated.

And then he was found dead.

I think he was allegedly murdered because there was like a lot, like, there's a lot there.

No, I also remember Annabelle.

Whose muse was she?

McQueen?

And then did McQueen die while that show was on?

Like maybe a few years before or very recently, but then she passed away too.

Oh, yes.

That show was like not real.

No, I know.

And then of course,

Samuel, of course, the Earl of Samuel, too.

She's actually mom to you.

Yeah, I follow her on TikTok because she lives in one of those, you know, estates, working estates,

palaces like Downtown Abbey.

And she makes a lot of videos about what it takes to run a home like that.

And it's very interesting.

Yeah, she's a major content creator now.

I think she has like a little YouTube channel, not even little, like, it's called like Viscountess, you know.

Oh, and the American Viscountess.

Yeah, yeah.

She like makes historical

content.

Those other women hated her because she was like this like American who was more in like the noble aristocrat scene than any of them.

So she wanted them to hate her because of that.

Like she felt like she felt like everybody hates me because like I'm just like Julie's balls, but like she like had her protein balls and she was riding her bicycle.

Meanwhile, she's like a Viscountess in waiting.

And so she's like, they all hate me because I have, and it's like, no, we just hate you because you suck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a huge distinction to be made.

Yeah, like she wanted that to be the reason why no one liked her when the real reason is like, we just don't want to hang out with you.

I just want everyone to know if you're watching on YouTube and you see Romeo.

He's like really zonked out.

He got his final round of vaccines yesterday, even though he's anti-vax and he said, mom, don't make me go, don't make me go.

And

one of the side effects is major loopiness.

So do you see this loopy boy?

Look at him.

I can't see him on my screen.

Oh, that's so unfortunate for you.

But

they could really put like anything in pet vaccines and we would never know.

I know it's like not really.

It could literally just be like water, you know, and you have to get like five of them.

They each cost $1,000.

Like literally, we would never know.

No, I trust that my boy is getting the most premium medical care on the planet.

But it might not be, like, your doctor might not even know.

It could be like big pet because that's.

Oh, my God.

You and your theory.

No, just listen.

Just listen to me because like, honestly, why wouldn't they do that?

That's like free money.

Everyone wants to, everyone's going to give their pet vaccines because you, you know, the standing water in New York and rabies, of course, we're going to do it.

And like, it could just be a racket.

Just saying.

Something to think about.

Also, Bruno got his vaccine.

I have enough to think about.

I know.

Okay.

Bruno got his vaccines in December, like after everything that happened with Theo, like we got him for the full workup and like vaccines.

You never had his vaccines?

He just got needed like refreshers because you know, Big Pet makes you get your boosters.

They do.

He has to get boosted for it.

He was sick as a dog when we were away, remember?

And like, that was literally just because he just had his shots.

He'd never experienced something like that.

So then we had to go back to the pet hospital and rack up more fees by Big Pet.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you have pet insurance?

I think so, but like at a certain point, they don't cover everything.

No, everything.

They cover nothing.

Pet insurance like is so tough.

It's so tough.

Yeah.

Well, you know what?

That's actually an amazing segue into our next story.

Like literally.

What number?

It's number four, but I couldn't have scripted it any better.

But it's number four.

I'm going to take a chance that we can do 15 minutes of content.

Oh, okay, go for it.

The segue is too good.

Pet brand Rover.com has created a pre-pup agreement to help pet owners co-parent in healthy ways during a breakup.

So it's like a pre-nup for your pet.

It's also just like marketing gimmick that I've fallen for because it's funny.

Romantic relationships aren't always forever, but your commitment to your pet should be.

To help couples planning to get a pet together prepare for the future, Rover.com created a pre-pup checklist.

A prenuptial agreement requires couples to consider what they want to happen to their assets if their marriage ends in death or divorce.

Rover's pre-pup checklist encourages couples to consider how they would handle the responsibilities of pet ownership if they were to split while caring for an animal.

I feel like this is a really big issue on reality TV.

Yeah, there's like a very elite sect of people whom this is an issue for, but actually, no, like, obviously, you like Tom and Kate.

We also get a lot of deer toasters about this sort of thing.

No, and it is tough, especially like sometimes you come into a relationship with a dog, and then it's very clear.

Like, even though we were together for 10 years and you love this dog, he was mine, bitch.

And I'm taking the dog, dumbass.

That's clear cut.

That's clear cut.

When you acquire a pet during the relationship, it's very tough.

And I acquired Theo

a month before our wedding.

Like you bet your ass I put my credit card down.

I couldn't put it down fast enough.

I'm like, just in case, you never know.

There will be a paper trail.

Yeah.

That I, this dog belongs to me financially.

I feel like when couples break up, because I guess if you are getting divorced and you have kids, then the dog just goes where the kid, it's part of like custody agreement.

Like, great, that's good.

But if you're breaking up and like, you would never speak to each other again otherwise except for this dog like i really think that a choice needs to be made like someone loves the dog more and the dog loves someone more

yeah and the dog will be happy at either it's not about the dog it's about the owner like they're not doing that they're not doing it because the dog needs to see me like they're doing it because i want to see the dog No, and how long?

Like, okay, right when you break up, we'll go back and forth week after week.

We're going to wean weaning.

And I feel like that happened with Caitlin Bristow

and Sean Booth because everybody was obsessed with their tucker noodle.

And that was Sean's dog in the relationship.

Like he brought the dog to the relationship.

And I think after they broke up, he was obviously going back with Sean, but they shared for a little bit.

And then that was...

And she got his ramen noodle.

Yeah.

How long

do you do that?

Because it's silly.

I would say

like six weeks, three months, max.

Also, I saw TikTok.

You know, Sean Booth had a baby.

I did.

And he like went to the grocery store, like, wearing the baby on his chest.

And, like, seriously.

Were you okay?

Such, such a good-looking man.

I'm on my way.

And to see him just embrace fatherhood so naturally, it was really, um, it was gorgeous.

It was a really nice video.

I hope you enjoy it.

I'm on my way.

I'm not seeing the grocery store, but I am seeing a lot of baby.

Yeah.

I'm just seeing baby in him.

Really, really cute.

Are you seeing baby wearing?

I'm seeing.

I'll find the video and send it.

Okay.

You know, I'm seeing shopping for strollers.

Oh, I'm seeing Tucker Doodle and the baby.

Oh, my God.

The dog is sleep.

Oh, my God, Claudia.

I'm sending you this video.

Claudia, you're not okay.

By the way, I found it right here.

It's a second.

Oh, you don't have TikTok.

I can't share things with you.

Like, seriously, your lack of TikTok is coming between us.

Also, I used to be able to just watch a TikTok on Safari, like when you send me the link, but now TikTok won't let me watch TikToks without downloading the app.

So let me see if he put it on Rails.

Oh, this is

cute.

He didn't put it on Rails.

No, it's too cute for words.

So cute.

I was actually just thinking like how, and sometimes when someone has a baby, like their content just goes like through the roof for me.

Like I couldn't love, like they're just, it depends, you know, actually, no, it really is.

It's lovely to watch most of the time.

Yeah, that's how I feel like when I see somebody sharing their Ozempic journey.

Like you love.

It's called like being relatable to you.

Yeah.

And like when I see somebody have a baby, like I'm so happy for them but it doesn't like endear them to me in a different way it depends like what kind of content they're posting but it's like pretty like you have 95 chance that like i'm gonna enjoy it yeah but you don't find that people who might like share their ozempic journey like might do stuff like you don't feel really protective over that actually where it's like i do only if you're doing it in the right way like i feel like some people could really piss you off

Oh, for sure.

Even though, like, if you're taking Ozempic and sharing that with the world, like, you're so brave.

Okay.

So, right.

There's a 95% chance you're going to like it.

But I feel like there could be a take that you wouldn't like.

A lot of takes, actually.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Of course.

Yeah.

Okay, cute.

Oh, so your thoughts on the pre-pup?

Oh, honestly, like, it's a good idea.

I know it's like a marketing gimmick, but this is an actual problem.

Like, I like when people are out here solving problems.

Like, this is something people actually deal with and struggle with, and there's really no universal solution.

So this is kind of a good idea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Now it's time for our fifth and final story that we're going to make 15 minutes of content out of.

Brought to you by Seed.

Whether you're off to the pool, hiking, or traveling this summer, you're bringing your microbiome with you too.

The 38

trillion bacteria that live in and on you, especially your gut, are essential to whole body health.

And Seed's DSO1 daily symbiotic benefits your gut, skin, and heart health in just two capsules a day.

So your gut is a central hub for various pathways through the body, and a healthy gut microbiome means benefits for digestion, skin health, heart health, your immune system, and so much more.

Seed's patented capsule capsule and capsule design means all 24 strains of bacteria survive the journey from shipping to your door through digestion without synthetic or chemical coatings, and there's no refrigeration needed.

Seed goes the extra mile by testing their probiotics in SHIIME, the closest system developed to model human digestion and the gut, to ensure 100% of the dose is delivered to where it needs to go.

The clinical trials and breakthrough research published in top scientific journals, SEADS probiotic research and development make the DS01 a product that you know you can trust.

The great thing about SEAD's DS01 daily symbiotic is that it has the refill that you need.

So their probiotics and prebiotics work best when consistently used like other routine healthy habits, like getting in your daily walk, eating enough fruit and vegetables, and you have to stay consistent to see the benefits.

So the Seed Subscription Service will help you easily build that DS01 into your routine.

Support your gut this summer with Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic.

Go to seed.com slash toast and use code 25TOAST to get 25% off your first month.

That's 25% off your first month of Seeds DSO1 Daily Symbiotic at seed.com slash toast.

Code 25Toast.

toast.

Thank you, La.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Biheart.

BiHeart is an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents.

Their mission is simple, make the best formula in the world.

This year, our friends at Biheart, the only American-made formula with globally sourced ingredients to use organic, grass-fed whole milk, never skim, are celebrating all the ways in which they never skim on anything, especially your Bebez.

BiHeart never skims on healthy fats using only organic, grass-fed whole milk.

Whole milk is full of healthy fats like naturally occurring MFGM, which play an important role in brain development and growth.

And BiHeart never skims on their standards.

Their formula is made with certified clean ingredients.

Plus, it has no soy, corn syrup, GMOs, or palm oil.

So try BiHeart today and celebrate their commitment to never skim on all the important benefits when it comes to infant formula.

Curious about BiHeart?

I know you are.

Redeem your welcome offer at byheart.com/slash podcast with code TOAS20 for a limited time.

Additional terms and conditions apply.

Thank you so much, Jackie.

I love

Byheart as a new sponsor here.

We love babies here, and what we put in our babies is so important.

I mean, you know that better than I am.

That's why we never want to skim.

No, and you never skim on anything.

You're such a good mom, Jacks.

I know you are.

Oh, Turtle Lou, thank you.

You're a great auntie.

I mean, I think we all know that.

Stop.

And Byheart is a great option.

So thank you, Byheart, for sponsoring today's episode.

Yes.

So our fifth and final story, something that we need to close the loop on.

I'm sure you've seen it, but we need to finish out a conversation from last week about Trista and Ryan Setter.

I actually haven't seen it because I don't care about these people, but continue.

So as we talked about last week, he posted like a very cryptic Mother's Day message for her.

Like it was giving either my wife tragically passed away or she is missing.

And then she came back and said I'm back you know took some time for myself and where had she gone that entire time turtle

to film a reality to film a reality show called special forces which is you know where reality stars go when the time is right if they're not cast on traders or if they just want something a little more physical When they're moving on to greener pastures.

Actually, I don't watch this show, but this show made a really big

splash.

Made waves its first season.

People were really into it.

It's like kind of a crazy concept.

And they had a very good cast.

A Tom Sandoval, JoJo Siwa, Tyler C.

And so

good on her because I feel like they kind of cast like an elite group.

Yeah.

So she was allegedly filming the reality TV show Special Forces when her husband Ryan Sutter was posting cryptic messages about her whereabouts.

She'll be on season three of Fox's Hitch Show, Special Forces' World's Toughest Test.

Like, I'm glad that she's not, you you know, missing.

Yeah.

Because that is sort of what her husband wanted us to think.

Yeah, it's weird.

However, like, I'm now annoyed with these two.

When I never really thought about them prior,

now, like, they're playing with me, and I don't appreciate that.

Yeah, would you rather go on special forces or traitors?

Like, one, I think, is, like, mind games, and the other is physical games.

Traitors, 1,000%.

One, like, everyone watches traitors.

I really don't know anybody who watches special forces.

And two, like, seriously, kill me.

Kill me.

Going through army training, like, I can barely get through the Soto method.

Like, I'm.

Then you have your Warring right there by your side.

But I don't think I would have my phone, so I wouldn't be able to see my results.

I'd like to see your insights until the end.

Yeah, I don't know.

Like, would you rather go on?

Actually, I think I would also be very good at traders.

I'm like, extremely manipulative, and I'm an amazing liar.

You've stayed with that.

And that's the type of.

No, no, no, by the way, have you ever played?

You've never played that game with me because you don't like to play games.

The faker?

No.

I'm so asked Olivia and Shapiro.

Like, I'm diabolically good at that game.

I would win Traders.

I know your tells.

Like, you couldn't win with me, but everyone else, yeah.

Okay, what are my tells?

You want me to tell the world?

What if you go on Traders?

I know what.

I know what you could go on Traders.

I feel like, you know, eventually

pop culture personalities would be on.

Yeah.

Do you know what I'm going to say?

People stop watching this video.

Do you know what I was going to say?

Yeah.

You think my tells are that when I'm lying, I look up and that my voice gets high.

And the fact that I know that, I use it against you.

So I'm an amazing liar.

I should get into poker.

Okay.

Okay.

Karma's a bitch.

I wonder if you lose weight on special forces like dancing with stars.

1,000.

Would you rather go on Traders or Dancing with Stars?

These days, like today.

Okay, I know it's about numbers.

Traders.

Okay, but can you...

It is.

It's about fame.

This is a job, Jack.

Okay, let's take that out of it.

We're just going with like the

format of the show.

The show.

Traders.

Like, I just live in a house all day.

It's not in a house.

A castle.

It's like at a Scottish castle.

Yeah.

Dancing with the stars, you have to like live in some ringy-dink apartment near the studio and you have to work out all day, every day.

Nothing.

And Traders are like Earl of Sandwich.

Yeah, no.

Traders, I think I get to go outside.

Yeah, and it's like lush.

Okay, which show would you rather go on?

Big Brother?

No.

Or The Amazing Race?

Oh, I hate traveling.

I know, I know.

Oh, my God.

But Big Brother, like, you can't even poop in privacy.

Oh, my God.

Why'd you give me like bad ones?

Like, I was giving you fun ideas and you just like made it

not fun.

I think I have to do Big Brother.

Like, I'm sorry, going to the airport, like running through the airport is

one of my least favorite things on earth.

Laying in bed and like talking shit.

Sure.

It's also running through the airport.

Like, it's genuinely humiliating.

Like,

and for that, you just know.

I have never, like, like i've never not run through the airport and felt like a deep sense of shame it's like you couldn't even get here on time you're disgusting and like the running and the huffing and the puffing and the backpack and the red shirt and the sweating like and the red face like i can't imagine that being terrible and like the likelihood that i'm going to win after this run through the airport is very slim i know i probably wouldn't so it's like i ran just to like be a loser yikes i just ran to humiliate myself yeah no i could not go on the amazing race i would have to choose big brother by default

Yeah, and I guess like I could get out of Big Brother completely unscathed if I laid in my bed and spoke to nobody.

Yeah.

Because one thing about shows like that, and I think this happens a lot on Housewives, is like you genuinely forget that you're mic'd and that like, and who knows what the fuck could come out of my life.

You kind of have to.

You have to let go.

To be like the best reality story.

You have to even have a show.

Like if everyone is just sitting around aware, they are not going to go for it.

So I think that's for the best.

Oh, karma's a bitch.

All right.

Do you know that Jojo Siwa song?

Thou shalt not lie.

Thou shalt not cheat.

Excuse me.

I have unsubscribed from like JoJo Siwa updates.

Like I don't keep up.

Jojo.

I don't keep up.

Like I heard she was like saying, I like saw a quote in a headline of something that she said.

I was like.

Nope.

Just oh, so then you didn't see that Jojo Siwa performed somewhere with a bottle of Tito's in her hand and was like swinging it.

No, I didn't.

Oh, to her new original song, Thou shalt not lie, thou shalt not cheat, or you'll end up just like me.

Oh, Karma's a bitch.

I should have known better.

I have blinders on.

And like when I see JoJosie wa coming down the way, like in any way, a song of hers, like not for any malicious reason.

It's just like not for, like, it's not for me.

I'm not enjoying blinders.

I'm disengaging.

And in the words of Sidney Sweeney, you have never, ever been happier.

Not because of that.

I'm just saying, like, you have to know thyself.

And, like, what is meant for you

will find you.

And, like, this was not meant for me.

So, when it finds me, I'm like, you know.

Get out of my way.

Yeah.

So, that's our show.

Yeah, it is our show.

And you can't take that away from us.

No, you can't.

Why are you laughing?

Why are you laughing?

I don't know.

Okay, I know why I'm laughing.

Why?

But I don't want to say it.

Okay.

We need to talk for a few more minutes.

I'm sure that no one

had break to after that.

That's fine.

And this is what I was trying to avoid.

This is what I was trying to avoid yesterday, but you saw how I had to do that pet story when we were talking about big pet.

Like, yes, I did, but had I known that the fifth story would have been like about such irrelevant losers,

I would have urged.

Okay, I understand.

That's fine.

I will take accountability for that, for the mismanagement.

What do you have going on the rest of the day?

I actually have like kind of an exciting affair.

What's the affair that you have?

Is it a swirly affair?

No, it's just like a fitting, you know, kind of a fitting with like a fashion.

For what?

Yeah.

Like what do you have with alteration specialists coming?

No, don't be fucking rude.

I'm being dressed for an event by a famous person.

You have to tell more, like, or else no one's going to believe you.

Yeah, I guess.

Well, you'll just have to follow my social media.

Okay, well, tell ultra recession specialists I say hi.

So jealous.

What do I have?

Yeah, I'm just jealous.

Well, actually, after this, I'm going to upload my vlog, which I'm really excited about.

That's huge.

Major news.

I have a lot of cooking to do today

and grocery shopping.

You cleared me out, dirty.

Okay, also rude.

I didn't really eat that much.

My healthy thing.

Like, there's no more apples left because you eat and oranges.

Well, that's true.

I actually didn't eat any oranges, but I ate all of your apples and your bananas.

Exactly.

No, I didn't, you cleared me out of, because you eat so healthy and you ate all my healthy stuff.

Yeah, fruits and vegetables.

Fruits and vegetables hate her.

And my house is so noisy right now.

I hope it's not picking up on the microphone.

Well, I don't know if it is, but keep talking.

All of a sudden,

all of a sudden, it's

so hard for us.

Well, actually, this is a great time to promote the Redheads because the new episode is out.

And I don't know if you guys saw, but we broke major news on the redheads.

Can we just talk about it now?

Like, now that the spoiler is out, Dana announced that she's pregnant, and it's just very exciting.

It just, I didn't know that babies could have babies.

It's amazing.

It's a medical marvel.

I'm so happy for Dana.

She looks so cute.

At Margo's birthday party, um, she was wearing this like incredibly cute black jumpsuit.

And I was like, where on earth did you get that?

She's like, oh, Josh's sister, like, dropped off a bunch of maternity clothes.

And she's like, it's so crazy.

I didn't think any of it would fit because Josh's sister is so tall.

And I'm obviously, you know, 4'8.

And I was like, Dana, I'm pretty sure you're wearing a pair of pants as a jumpsuit.

And that's why it fits you from this like really tall girl.

Josh's sister.

Josh's sister 5'12.

No, she's like super, super tall.

5'12.

She's 5'12.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's just been fabulous to see Dana on her journey.

Yeah, and the book that we read last month was all about like women's health, midwifery.

Did you know that midwifery is called midwifery?

I had no idea, but did you know that midwifery, I think I feel like it's been rebranded to doula as well.

No, it's two different things.

Doulas don't deliver babies.

They help coach you through it.

Midwives deliver babies.

Well, I was just reading actually Erin Foster's birth story.

She did midwifery.

She did homebirth.

Her like retelling of it was actually pretty funny.

But she decided to go, you know, completely naturally.

And apparently, like, it's very common that when you do like a home birth and, you know, you forego drugs, like when things start getting, you know, heated, you tell everyone, like, fuck this, we're going to the hospital.

And they're, they are prepared

to like ignore you, which is seriously like my worst nightmare.

Yeah.

Like, what if you actually change your mind in that moment?

First of all, you can't.

They're too far gone.

Cause if you're like in the ring of fire, like baby's almost here, you couldn't make it to the hospital.

And it's always darkest before the dawn.

But that's really funny.

I mean, and that's amazing that she did a a home birth for her first.

I feel like that's something people do, you know, after a few, few in the bank.

Like, I could do this now.

No need to waste the gas.

But I didn't know the hospital.

You can't change your mind.

Yeah, I don't.

Because I think she said she was in Libra for like 24 hours.

So she's just like in this room.

I don't know if it was her house or like a hotel with all these people and the tub and the water.

And she like said, thanks to she was thanking everyone like in her caption, my husband and the doula and the midwife and this person.

and she's like and you know for not letting me you know for not listening to me when i said

take me to the hospital i was like what i'm yeah that makes sense that feels right crazy yeah but amazing i also a home birth is something i will always endure like i'll follow for a creator you know

yeah i definitely could see a world in which like a couple years down the line like jackie's birthing at home and i'm over here being a doula i really don't think so but i'm so fascinated as i said who was with josh peck when we were podcasting i'm home homebirth curious for sure.

But that's how it starts.

That's always how it starts.

I want to thank you so much.

You have reached your allotted time, talking time.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toastmane Morning Show.

We delivered the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday.

And YouTube are watching us on YouTube.

Please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast editor podcast can be found.

So it's Spotify, June, Sister, Public Radio, Radiocast Walks, all the place we listen to podcasts.

Find us at Toastley League, Fastor.

Have you met at Beautiful, Satan, and Wickedly Talented?

We are.

We love you so much.

And this is an earnest play to follow us anywhere you follow people.

Love ya.

Bye.