Comma Chameleon: Thursday, May 30th, 2024

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Thursday.

That definitely feels like, I don't want to be ungrateful, but it feels like, oh, whoa, Thursday?

Because we had a short week with Monday.

So I'm not rejecting the Thursday.

I'm just acknowledging that like it's here kind of quickly.

It is here kind of quickly.

I haven't acknowledged that it was Thursday.

So I'm so grateful to this show because one thing about the toast, we're going to let you know what day of the week it is.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.

And...

We're going to talk about how it feels to be on that day of the week.

Because it's so much more than there's a fucking hair like in my eye.

You know, when just like, get the fuck, I don't even know where it is.

I feel like you're not attacking it

in the right way.

You have to be like more surgical.

I don't know where it is.

It's just like fucking irritating my face.

Listen to your body.

Close your eyes.

Feel the hair.

Fine.

I think maybe it's like a phantom hair.

Like the hair was never in the room with us.

Hmm.

Turtle losing her mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With her phantom hair, as if she doesn't have enough.

Yeah.

Well, you know,

I used to take my hair for granted, but then it started falling out when I started as epic.

So, like,

we can't say things like that anymore.

You know, hair isn't guaranteed anymore.

For my whole life, it was.

True.

Even now, like, I brush my hair and I'm like, is it coming out again?

I'm like living in panic.

Oh, you have phantom hair loss.

Yeah, no, I'm definitely like scarred from the experience.

Oh, well, postpartum hair loss, that's

it's a rough one.

No, it really is.

I have like, I can't even, I don't even know what to do with my hair anymore because I have so much, like, just short hairs.

Maybe you should get a pixie cut, make them all the same length.

No, Claudia, they're they're like baby hairs.

There's not short.

Like, I wish it was like pixie.

Okay, what about a buzz cut?

Just start over.

That's the only way.

Sometimes you just have to start from scratch.

Yeah, well, no.

Yeah, well, what about no?

I love that.

What if we just said no?

Well,

okay.

Well, today's Thursday, as stated.

It doesn't feel like a Thursday, but that doesn't change the facts.

Let's circle back to that.

It's Thursday.

We've got a great show.

We're doing deer toasters.

You know, we usually do it on Wednesday.

Please don't make me say it again.

Is Bruno okay?

By the way, I'm hearing a lot of madness.

I know nobody else is probably hearing it, but I just want to make sure, like, Bruno's well-being, wellness check on Brew.

Right.

So Bruno's trying to find his way in this studio.

He went to the other chair to lay with the pillow of Theo, but there's a bunch of books on on the chair and he couldn't get comfortable and he knocked some stuff over.

Then he came over to this chair right beside me, your usual podcasting chair, and there is a recipe on the chair that he's trying to get comfortable around.

So it's a piece of paper on the chair

that he keeps standing on.

Well, I hear it, but I'm sure nobody else does, but I just wanted to make sure like Brunello Cuccinell was doing okay.

He's just trying to find his way in this world.

I mean, relatable.

Say what you want about Bruno, but he's never been anything other than a relatable king.

It's so true.

He wears his heart on his sleeve.

I'm really excited and looking forward to the days where Romeo gets to a place where I can bring him to work.

He's still very much a puppy and he would be extremely distracting.

What's the recipe for that Bruno's like currently munching on?

Sourdough discard sandwich bread, of course.

Of course.

Of course.

What else is it for?

I've started printing my recipes because I'm so sick of trying to like find the same recipe on my iPad and remember which creator's recipe I liked.

So now I'm going to start printing them and hopefully put them together like in a binder for myself.

No, you're literally moving backwards.

I am moving backwards through time.

Yes, I am.

I love that.

Normalize, like writing things down and printing them out.

Yeah, I get targeted for a lot of like slow living Instagram reels.

Wait, download me.

What is slow living?

It sounds like something I've already been doing.

It's city dwellers.

No, because you're a city dweller.

City dwellers like moving to like remote areas.

The girl I was watching yesterday, she moved to the beach, like a beautiful house on the beach with her husband.

And she's just like living out her romance novel fantasies, making everything from scratch, just like dancing around her kitchen, reading books and telling you like your life stinks.

And slow living, how does the printer come into that?

Oh, because like back to the like not digital

recipe, but she's making it from scratch.

But right, that's always the, that's the thing.

That's my favorite thing about the trad wives is like they live on the farm in the 1900s with their Instagram account and their tripod and their lighting.

Yeah, no, they're, they're kind of mod

trad wives.

Yeah, but and the trad wives who are like really doing it and really in the trenches, we may never know them because they're not on the internet.

Right.

I would say the most authentic of trad wives are the most unknown of trad wives.

Exactly.

You're inherently inauthentic as a trad wife if you're an influencer.

But that, I mean, that doesn't bother me whatsoever.

Like I live for it.

I think that's a perfect blend.

I don't think any anything should be all

one way.

Like you're not like a trad wife purist.

No, I'm not.

I think that there are so many modern conveniences that we should 100 enjoy and incorporate into our lives like a refrigerator totally

and i think overall it's a net positive that the trad wives are out there spreading their gospel because it's inspiring other people in small ways and big but i do think that you don't have to shirk i was just i sent you some trad wife i stumbled upon and she's like a legit trad wife except for the fact that she's an influencer oh that's the big but that's the big but but she was like people think trad wives need to have all these these kids and not have a refrigerator.

And only like, and she's like, but I'm not that.

Oh, she was kind of like, she's kind of like a rebel of the trad community, a maverick, if you will.

No, but if you saw her page, like, she's legit not.

Well, I'm just saying, it's a lot of blending of old and new, and I'm here for that.

I am also here for what I was trying to say.

We went on a random tangent for deer toasters.

Let me tell you, the deer toasters today are so crazy.

One of them is for you, and one of them is for me.

Like,

it's really insane.

The girlies are seriously in crisis.

And I better.

And I have one thing to say.

I'm on my way.

Okay.

Do we need to like start with dear toasters?

No, that would be so crazy.

No, there's like, there's a,

we have a plan here.

Like, let's not just like be crazy.

It's not, but it's not an emergency situation.

Start with dear toasters with the episode out immediately.

A mom away.

We'll be on our way soon.

On

my

way.

What else is going on that I could tell you guys about?

Didn't watch Pearl Harbor last night.

Will watch Pearl Harbor at some point this weekend.

Watched more entourage.

I'm just kind of like, I'm slipping back into old habits.

You know, I wanted to go on this journey of educating myself, watching films and shows based on real events.

No, here I am back watching this crap for a montage where every other word is the F slur or the R slur.

It's really so crazy.

Well, it's based on real events, no?

Mark Wahlberg.

That is true.

It is technically.

It's not based on historical fiction.

It's not based on true events.

It's based on real people.

Historical fiction.

Damn.

No, you're right.

Loophole.

Loophole.

Educating and bettering yourself every day.

And fun fact, in the pilot episode, Mark Wahlberg and like his crew, his band of yellow belly losers, who the show is based off of all the different characters, make an appearance in the pilot.

They just like, you know, run into Vinny Chase on the lot.

It's hard to watch this show.

Vinny Chase is to Carrie Bradshaw, is to Susan Meyer.

He's so

awful.

He might be like the worst of the worst of protagonists.

Dumb bitch.

Like, make worse decisions.

Be more irresponsible.

Be a bigger moron if you, like, he couldn't if he tried.

It's actually frustrating.

I will definitely get to a point where I have to stop watching the show because he is so infuriating.

Very Serena Vander Woodson-coded, but he's definitely the worst out of all of them.

I could just say that

he's tops.

Tops.

He's

honestly, it might be a tie for first with...

Carrie Redshaw.

She's really up there for like one of the worst protagonists.

And you don't realize it the first time you watch a show, but when you go back, you're like, holy shit.

But also, Vinny's like so self-righteous.

Like he seriously thinks he's the goodest guy.

No, for sure.

And, like, seriously, watch it through the lens of justice for his brother, Johnny Drama.

Nobody wanted success more.

Nobody worked harder on their physical,

mental, on his skills.

He went to act.

Like, he seriously worked so hard.

Vinny just say kept stepping in shit, Aquaman, Queens Boulevard.

Like, didn't give a fuck, didn't actually read scripts, like, was so mean to Eric, who was doing the most for him, like.

gave up his whole life to live with him.

I'm sorry.

Rewatch Entrage and you will see.

You will see that the true hero of the story is Johnny Drama and the villain is Vinnie Chase.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's for damn sure.

Speaking of content, switching gears to 14th century Imperial China, I started my Redheads book last night.

Really quickly, I do think though, that's an accurate depiction of how A-list actors are.

They're morons and they're rude and they're idiots and like they're like they step in shit, you know?

Yeah, but

when the show runners made the show, like Vinny Chase, like we're supposed to love him.

Were we?

I feel like, yeah, I feel like that's the problem.

If he was being like a classic actor, A-list, like what you think of, and we could all like the ancillary characters better.

But I feel like he's supposed to be the one.

There's no way.

He's so hateable.

There's no way.

No, because he doesn't really do anything outwardly.

Yes, he does.

He doesn't really act.

He's not like...

Yes, he does.

I feel like they see him as like the moral compass of the show.

No, I think Eric actually is.

Really?

He's like the most annoying.

He's cheated on

his baby mama.

Yeah, well, that comes on later on.

But I mean, in terms of like,

okay, no more spoiler alerts for shows that are 13 years old.

Okay.

I'm sorry, back to your 14th century China.

I started the Redheads book last night.

It's so good.

And I can just tell, like, it's going to be a banger.

I'm only 10% in, but like, it's hard to get into historical eras that are so foreign,

foreign and old.

Like, just, it's what, 700 years ago.

Um, Um,

and it's so gripping already, not even gripping in like a serious way, just like I'm into it, and I really, really like it, and I'm excited.

And I've gotten, I've seen so many positive reviews from the community.

Like, I think this is gonna be a crowd pleaser.

Another win for the Redheads, nothing new here.

And like bettering ourselves, learning, like learning about a new time and place.

I've never read about this time and place.

I could see myself like going down a rabbit hole after even just like the stuff about like the binding of the feet is so fascinating.

Yes.

Yeah.

Like serious.

I don't know anything.

It's like a symbol.

I mean, I'll learn more.

I don't know that much, but it's a symbol of

status.

It's a status symbol, like, you know, to get your feet like as tight, like to get your toes to go to your heel and then like to have like a tiny slit in between that like you could barely like fit a coin into.

And then, you know, the people who are like servants are, I think, slaves because they're being bought and sold, like they describe them as big-footed.

So it's like bad to have a big foot.

Oh, man.

And it's, it's good and respectable to have a small foot.

And so you make your foot smaller and smaller, and you're literally like rearranging your bones.

No, stop that.

Really?

It gives me the willies.

It was, it was willy-inducing.

Like the way you just described it.

Like, I actually could.

But also, it's like so harmful for your feet and your body.

Like, infections develop, bones poke out, and you keep them bound.

Like, it was.

And the protagonist of the story, it's a true, it's based on a true story about a real woman.

She is, right now in the book, she's eight, but she will become a doctor.

She's like a female doctor of that time who's very impressive.

Amazing.

Well, stay tuned.

Stay up to date with the Redheads on Instagram at the Redheads, and it's truly never too late.

Never too late.

We record next week, so it's still not too late to read the book and submit a question to the Redheads Book Club at gmail.com.

She said what she said.

I did say.

And I feel like so many Redheads choices, like you've now read.

Yes, I have.

It's a strong bunch.

It is.

There's something for everyone.

Of course, there's the New York Times bestseller, Girl With No Job, The Crazy, Beautiful Life of an Instagram, Thirst Monster, My Memoirs, which are available to buy wherever you buy books.

I feel like I don't talk about enough that I wrote a book.

So just a reminder.

Reminder, also, it's camp season.

And if you have a young one who's headed off to camp, date camp, sleepaway camp for the first time, any sort of camp, I have a book for that.

And it's called The Camper and the Counselor.

It's available on Amazon or anywhere you get your books.

And it's the beautiful story of a girl conquering her fears, going to camp, finding the love of a counselor, and never looking back.

Exactly.

So check it out.

Next, would you describe the word the words?

Would you describe the stories for me in three words?

I don't know if I could do three words, but I could do

I could do like a

synopsis.

I didn't ask for a

no, well, I don't, I'm

not looking out the window.

I don't give a rip.

I feel like today's stories are like what people want us to talk about more so than like you know, the usual that I go for.

Okay, so it's giving catering to the audience.

It's giving catering to the audience, yeah.

I love that.

Let's see how it goes.

Let's see how that goes.

Well, I could talk to you about just about anything, Jax.

I'm not worried.

Oh, I never said I was worried.

I just thought I was, I mean, usually we like toaster interests, our interests, shaking hands emoji.

But there are just like some celeb updates sort of from this week that we hadn't touched on because there were a lot of stories.

So now it's time.

In the words of whoever's narrating Lion King, it is time.

Yeah, we also have some content news.

The shows are making news these days.

Like Kardashians dropped at midnight.

They really need to like do better with that whole time schedule.

Either release it on Thursday, like you're supposed to, not Wednesday at midnight.

9 a.m.

If you're going to do Wednesday night, 9 p.m.

I don't want to complain about it every week, but every week it frustrates me when I see all of these headlines of like kind of these big

bombshells being dropped.

Now, I don't even care about the spoilers, but it's like, oh, wow, that would be a great story, except I didn't watch the whole episode.

It's like, i want to know the whole context no it's extremely annoying like seriously do better they're not going to we've been saying this like for five seasons now well it must be working for them that's why

they're or they're not listening does it drop on hulu west coast at 9 p.m or they also have to wait till midnight i wonder that i wonder that probably also wait it's probably still thursday for them

it's beyond annoying Yeah, well, on Netflix, when something drops at midnight, here we get it at 3 a.m.

So maybe it actually goes to the West Coast at 9 p.m.

Sound off in the comments.

You live in the West Coast.

What time does Hulu drop the Kardashians into episodes for you?

Yeah,

let us know.

So that's about it, Turtaloo.

Yeah, I guess.

And now I think without further ado, we can get into the Fast Tide stories that I think people are going to be very pleased with.

I'm excited now.

You've kind of.

Describe the stories in three words.

People.

Pleasing stories.

People, Lol, people, apostrophe, LL.

Be pleased.

I don't know.

A conjunction is a little bit of a,

it's a loophole.

It works.

It works.

I agree.

It's fair.

It's all fair in love and loopholes.

And love and conjunctions.

Conjunction, conjunction.

What's your function?

A conjunction really is a love story.

Jackie, that's beautiful.

Me as a grammar teacher.

Oh my God.

Now you romanticizing grammar.

I mean, nobody loves grammar more than you.

Nobody loves a comma.

No, I don't love love grammar.

I love punctuation.

You love punctuation.

Like when it comes to Oxford commas, like should we add the extra comma?

If it's optional.

Turdy hits comma button.

Yeah.

That's like that meme.

No, like whenever we do the titles,

whenever we do the titles, I'm like, Jack, comma?

And she's like, no, I love commas.

Maybe today's title in honor of turdy could be like comma, written out, comma, comma, and then written out comma.

No, no, it should be like a list of punctuations all separated by commas.

Like periods, comma, commas, comma, and exclamations.

And apostrophes.

Something of that nature.

Something, today's title will utilize Turdi's favorite punctuation marks.

Maybe it'll just be like a period, a comma, an exclamation point, and a question mark.

Yeah, I don't know how great that is for SEO, but it's fun for us.

I can't keep living for the SEO, Jack.

It's like I'm a creative.

Like this, the SEO now.

We're being stifled.

Yeah.

Because we're such creatives.

You said it.

And I just have one song to sing.

Kama, Kama, Kama, Kama.

Jackie.

Come, Chameleon.

Jackie, 35 seconds ago, I meant to sing that, but I forgot.

And then we like to be able to get away from the city.

I literally sitting here with my mouth open.

Like, come, come, come, come, come.

Mary, Dreet,

coded.

So Dorite, thinking of her.

Rip.

To the marriage.

She's still alive.

Separated.

Will they get back together?

Will they, won't they?

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Our first story, pregnant Haley Bieber showing off her new $1.5 million engagement ring after her vow renewal with Justin.

I didn't say that, BRB.

Yeah.

Haley has some new bling in her life.

The model who announced that she's expecting her first child with Justin Bieber flaunted the shiny new sparkler that was worn on her left ring finger in new photos posted on Instagram last week.

She appeared to upgrade her original oval-shaped ring, sporting an enormous diamond in the same shape on her left hand.

Oh my gosh, it's huge.

So it looks like she's wearing her new...

a million dollar diamond ring on her left hand and then her old one on her right hand which was also an impressive diamond oval engagement.

Yeah, she made it into like a pinky ring or something.

Yeah.

Okay, that's so crazy because I think like her original ring was like the standard for everyone.

Like everyone's inspo, everyone was obsessed with it.

And it was like perfect and gorgeous.

And the fact that she now has a new one is so crazy.

It's literally stunning.

I do worry.

For her like safety.

Her safety, like for real.

Like I think we all learned a lot from Kim Kardashian's robbery.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, of course your mind goes there, but it's just like

upsetting to talk about.

I'd rather just like talk about the pretty jewelry, for sure.

I would love to, you know, sit in Dilly Dally, talk about how beautiful the ring is, but I worry for my girl.

Like, it just reminds me.

Yes.

No, totally toxic.

No, no, no.

I know.

Yeah.

I'm glad that she stuck with the same shape, though.

It shows that she likes it, you know.

Yeah, that's so true.

No mistakes are made.

Zero mistakes.

It looks like it's paired with like a pretty little diamond band around it.

Yeah, and it's on a gold band.

Yeah.

Mixing metals.

I guess mixing metals is officially in.

Haley Bieber's of approval.

Yeah.

Nice for her.

They also did their vow renewal, and that was like what was part of their pregnancy announcement.

They renewed their vows, and I think that's why she got a new ring.

Yeah.

Which is all very sweet and lovely.

So do you still get a push present when you get a one and a half million dollar like pregnancy gift?

Yeah.

It's not in lieu of, especially if you're given like million dollar gifts, like you're not going to skimp on the big one.

No, that's really crazy.

I wonder what she'll get for that.

What do you think she'll get?

I have no idea.

Why do you get the girl who has everything?

Yeah.

She'll do something.

Do celebrities do push presents?

I think they invented push presents.

Oh, did they?

I think that's a very celebrity thing to do.

Oh,

cool.

Right?

I don't know.

Does everyone do push presents is a better question.

Yeah.

I feel like just a nice little thing.

It doesn't have to be so crazy, but to acknowledge.

You know, she's like a diamond necklace, but like, hey, you just shoved out a baby.

Here's something that I think you'd like.

Here's a gift card, like anything.

Whatever it is, anything.

Yeah.

I think it should be for everyone.

I think so too.

And you should demand it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story, which has been kind of a crazy saga that has wrapped up,

but not without eliciting a lot of questions?

Okay.

Ryan Sutter says he and his wife Trista are trying to do their best following her cryptic absence.

Yeah, she like disappeared.

Yeah.

So Ryan and Trista are doing their best amid concerns of trouble in paradise following Trista's mysterious absence.

Concerns that were raised after he posted something really fucking weird.

Yeah, like, don't put this on us.

Yeah, we didn't like, and certainly not us, but I didn't even think it was like sleuths like digging around looking to see where Trista is.

Like he put out a Mother's Day statement that was really weird and pointed to like, where in the world is Trista Sutter?

Read it to us.

Right.

So this is what he said.

Hold on.

They make it so difficult in these articles.

Claudia, you know.

Just post it.

Okay.

And in the cryptic Mother's Day post.

Hold on.

I'm on it.

I'm on it.

No, they make you go to another.

Okay, here it is.

I know you wish you were here for Mother's Day.

We wish you were too.

But sometimes being a mom means letting go of their hands, granting independence, and stimulating their courageous spirit.

Sometimes it's necessary to exemplify the characteristics you preach to to do rather than say.

Sometimes it takes being uncomfortable and scared to show them that it's okay to be uncomfortable and scared.

Sometimes you have to go away so they know you'll come back, that your love is not limited by distance or difficulty or time.

Sometimes you have to do what you sometimes have to do.

We're proud of you, Mama Pajama, for everything you do for us, near or far.

Happy Mother's Day.

So it sounds like, seriously, like she went to go get help for something.

Yes.

It sounds like she went away to either like a rehab or a mental health facility.

That's what it sounds like.

And seriously, if you didn't want people asking questions, like you're inviting this sort of attention with that type of Mother's Day post.

Of course.

It was also for some people like giving death.

Yeah, well, the first line, read it again.

We wish you were here with us.

Rip.

Rip.

So people were like concerned and then didn't know where she was.

And then it went on for a few days before like she came back and was like, hey, I'm here.

She did go away to focus on herself somewhere.

But like, I think she should be able to do that without people knowing that she's away.

Like if I was her and I got home and I saw that that's what he posted while I was gone.

Jill.

Jill.

Yeah.

And I had this realization a couple of years ago.

And I feel like it's a lesson you have to learn the hard way when you share, you know, details of your life with the public.

But you don't have to share everything.

Especially if you're not sharing because this was a not share share.

Yeah.

And then it kind of like forced her to share.

Yeah, like don't give everyone crumbs.

They weren't even hungry.

Yeah, I'm just like a big fan of like sometimes keeping your thoughts to yourself.

Yeah, that was really weird.

Sometimes you have to do what's best for you.

Sometimes.

No, it's really strange.

Mama, mama, Trista, pajama.

Oh, well, then, then, you know, the sort of callback to Red Llama, Mama Pajama, my least favorite book on the planet.

It's not the worst one, Claudia.

And I've really actually been getting into it recently.

Let me tell you why, first of all.

What is the message of the book?

Okay, we're talking about Llama Llama Red Pajama.

That oh yeah, because there's a bunch of spin-offs that have better.

Isn't Llama Lama Red Pajama the original book like that launched this franchise?

And the name of the Netflix show is Llama Lama Red Pajama.

So first of all, I don't think that the illustrations are like cute enough.

It's not Camper and Counselor.

It's very avant-garde almost.

Like it's kind of dull.

The colors, like I don't think it pops.

Okay.

And I would say for me, it lands in the middle if the other end of the extreme of like abstract not popping is like the the giving tree yeah

nothing but I think the giving tree's actual and this is being it's resting on the laurels of its message no the message is about you know material items and so if they were to come in with all these crazy fucock you know it's kind of reflective emblematic if you will of the moral of the story which is like less is more I think Shell wrote the story, realized he had a banger on his hands and didn't want to shell out for an illustrator.

And he said, I'm keeping it all.

I think he worked extra hard to find an illustrator who could illustrate the actual message of the book.

I'm being dead serious.

Who could pare down?

Who could pare it down?

So wait, back to Red Llama.

Problematic for one.

I don't like the illustrations, but I guess art is subjective.

So that's just me.

The message of the book really bothers me because you can actually argue both sides.

Like one, is Mama Llama neglecting her child?

Or two, are we sending a message to the children?

If you scream and cry, you'll get what you want.

They're both toxic, whichever way you argue.

The kid is screaming upstairs, screaming upstairs.

Mom's on the phone doing the dishes, gabbing on the phone her with her friends Your kid is having a fucking breakdown upstairs Something could be wrong.

Get your ass upstairs.

Yeah, but I could also argue kid shut the fuck up.

There's literally nothing wrong.

It's time for bed you screaming crying throwing up and then your mom like running upstairs.

It's the boy who cried wolf.

It's the llama who cried wolf.

I also need to know how old llama is like is he too old to be acting that way?

He's sleeping in a bed.

He's not in a crib.

Right.

Was mom trying to like show him how old is that?

It varies for people, three, four, but it could be all the, he could be 12.

Right.

Three old.

but he has a little stuffed animal so maybe he's he's like six

i just i don't like the book like maybe she was trying to show him like you know let him cry it out a little and then he was weeping wailing for his mama so she goes to help him and to show him like mama's always here and mama always comes back that was the moral of the story it's like even though you're scared to be alone like your mom is always there i don't know just like gossip girl downstairs gabbing on the phone when your kid is like having serious issues i don't know what message does that send because to me, it read as neglect.

To me, it read as like mama's been working hard all day putting llama llama on her back, making him sourdough from scratch.

And like, it's bedtime and now it's her time.

No, of course, so then you could argue the other side.

Like we're enabling this type of toxic behavior from our children.

You could seriously argue any side of this book.

Yeah, no, I agree.

Like when I read it, I'm not left with the greatest feeling.

And I'm certainly not left with the takeaway message of like mama's always here.

I'm either left with feeling like mama shouldn't have left him screaming or like if you're gonna take that stance like you gotta ride it out not like give him what he wants what do you think goes in the hall of fame of children's books obviously the giving trade what's that what obviously the camper and the counselor what's that one um

wish you may wish you might you know she's holding him he's holding her you know that one i love you forever always my baby what is it i uh

I love you forever.

Like always my baby, forever you'll be.

Forever you'll be.

That to me goes in the hall of fame.

Yeah, that's a good one, but people have issues with it.

It always like surfaces every once in a while being like, this is creepy.

Because at the end, like he's holding his little granny mama.

It's so fucking sweet.

And anybody who thinks anything of the world is a good thing.

Oh, and also because like she climbed, when he's a grown man, she climbs up the side of his house and gets into bed with him.

Yeah, if you're disgusting, like you could see the book in a disgusting way.

I don't view the world that way.

I'm more of like a purist, if you will.

So yeah, if you want to make perfect the enemy of the good, sure, go off queen.

To me, that book is in the Hall of Fame.

It is.

It's beautiful.

It's about the circle of life.

No, it's so sweet.

It can make you cry, like, for real.

Yeah, it's so funny how, like, the classics, you buy them because that's what's done, but they actually, most of them, like, don't really resonate.

The ones that you think are going to like really hit,

I mean, Rainbow Fish, written by Karl Marx himself.

More like communist fish.

No, it's like the other fish were communists.

Yeah, no.

They indoctrinated, right?

I think the message of Rainbow Fish is like bullying works.

Groupthink is real.

Yeah.

Herd mentality.

Herd mentality.

School of fish mentality.

Literally.

Yeah.

No, and then what are the other biggies?

We've got them, but the ones that we wind up like really gravitating towards are ones that I hadn't heard of before I bought them for whatever reason.

They popped on the shelf.

Right.

And again, a better rhyme.

And that's one, as long as I've been, you know, ragging on Llama Llama, that iambic pantometer, that rhyme is so sick.

I know this is like the world's leading rapper to come in here and be like Llama Lama red.

Claudia, I just wanted to say, you need to Google right now ludicrous Llama Llama Red Pajama.

Did he do a song?

He did a video because he was like, I guess, reading to his kid and he had the same thought as you.

And it's, you'll never get this out of your head.

Okay, wait, he did it on a radio show?

Is that what I'm looking at?

Was that?

Yeah, I think so.

Power 106 Los Angeles?

Perhaps.

Llama Llama Red Pajama.

Ludacris is here.

Yeah, baby.

Hey, Mama kisses.

What?

Baby hair.

Mama llama goes all the way downstairs.

Hey, Llama Llama.

What?

Red pajama.

Feels alone with who?

Without his mama.

Hey, baby llama.

Obsessed.

This is the type of activism I need from celebrities.

Like, this is gorgeous.

La Ma Lama.

Who?

Red pajama.

No, no, obsessed.

Cause that's literally how I like read it.

Like, when I was reading it, I was like, this is sick.

This is amazing.

I love that video.

I'm going to watch the whole thing.

That wasn't the whole thing, but I hope you all enjoyed that.

Yeah, so go check it out if you're looking for a little pick-me-up.

No,

I'm obsessed with Ludacris.

That's so funny.

So funny, right?

La Malama.

Ooh.

Red pajama.

That's kind of like when, who was that?

Tyler the creator did the Grinch?

Oh, yeah, well, he was on the soundtrack.

Yeah, i love that that they're because the kids shit like really is inherently rap you know it's like freestyle rhyme

poetry right yeah i love this

yeah even though i wasn't crazy about every time you play that tyler the creator grinch soundtrack i'm not crazy about it i think they can no but i feel as though it could be better yeah but i love the idea Yeah, the remix, but the classic one, you're a mean one, Mr.

Grinch, Jim Carrier, is like still the number one, but they had some fun with it.

I think they're like, no, I actually like their version.

It's all over TikTok.

Is it?

You're a mean one.

You really are a he.

You're a sweet.

You're a really.

Dun, done, done.

I actually, I like what they did there.

I know, but then there's another one on the soundtrack.

It's called I Am the Grinch.

I don't know who I'm going to disgrace when I say it.

And it literally like phoned it in.

It's like,

I am the Grinch, Cindy Lu Hu, my dog is Max.

Like, just like stating facts about the book, like nothing.

No creative liberties.

And then, of course, I know you hate to discuss them, but pentatonics.

Carrecy married gentlemen with nothing new to say.

Remember, Grinchar saying Savior was born on Christmas Day.

Yeah, that one pops on the soundtrack.

No, by the way, I don't know if I've ever like formally retracted what I've said about pentatonics.

They just used to bother me.

They were always like showing up in like corny places.

And I was definitely just like judging a book by its cover.

I thought they were like corny based on like no research, just vibes, which sometimes, you know, is a fair assessment.

But this time it wasn't because they do such amazing work.

I actually saw them perform live at the Jingle Ball.

They did their rendition of Hallelujah, which is insanely gorgeous.

But seriously, like you want to talk about skill, you want to talk about talent, you want to talk about genius.

Listen to their there can be miracles.

Like

their version seriously could bring a tear to even an atheist's eye.

Like it's so gorgeous.

Yeah, it's really true.

That's sweet of you to say.

They put their whole penta pussy into that one.

Yeah,

they have.

Pentussy, I think.

Pentatussy.

Yeah, pentatusy.

Okay, well, are you ready for our next story?

Sure.

Something that has made major news and waves over social media this week is that Haley Page, the wedding dress designer, has settled her lawsuit with JLM over her name and designs and everything.

So basically for the last few years, Haley Page, the wedding dress designer, could not design under her name, could not post on her Instagram account because the brand that she had been working with, JLM Couture.

And by the way, if you're unfamiliar, like who's Haley Page, like there was a time when every bitch like needed and wanted a Haley.

It was like the ultimate status symbol.

So for her to have like

gotten that, like it was such a big deal.

And I actually felt bad because when it happened, everybody was like, oh my God, oh my God.

But then nobody really like, I think kept up, maybe a couple of people, but there wasn't as much fanfare and like support for her because this literally is a lawsuit that lasted how many years?

Four.

Yeah.

And I think people just kind of like forgot about it.

And that's really sad because she had like such a major company, but she won.

Right.

She won.

She got a lot of like legal precedent set, she said.

And she pretty much like won on every count.

So she has her Instagram back, which has over a million followers.

She can design under her own name, Haley Page.

She can call herself Haley Page.

Like I think that deal that she did with JLM like gave them everything, which is also just a, you know, a good lesson for people to learn.

Read the fucking

the Haley Page name and social media accounts back to Haley Page, and now she can design wedding dresses again.

I'm sure she has probably so many designs that she's been working on over the last few years.

I'm really rooting for her.

I do wonder what her dresses

look like now.

Because when she was really popular, it was very like trendy and of the moment, very beachy energy.

Like all the girls with long blonde hair were just buying for a Haley Page.

But you know, trends change, especially in like the wedding industry.

Like, so I wonder if she's going to still design for that or if she's totally changed her vibe.

I feel like she will evolve into what's more trendy now, but she'll still have her Haley page stamp of approval sort of thing.

Like they won't be so dissimilar, but you know, no one's just stays where they are.

They move and change with the times.

Kind of a big day to be named Haley.

Yeah.

Lots of Haley news.

I'm happy for her.

You love to see a woman in business.

Yeah, you love to see legal precedent being set and people being able to own their names.

Like, that's your name.

It's crazy that like you can't even use your name well that's like bobby brown

what happened with bobby well nothing happened she sold her company i think to estee lauder so it's like this huge conglomerate and i do they put like a 10 year maybe more she can't make makeup with her name on it which kind of makes sense like how do you then

yes it's her name but like this company paid like

nine figures no no probably like seven or eight for a makeup company with this person's name so if she just goes and uses her face and her name to make another makeup company, then it just like devalues the one she just sold.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah.

Has that been a scandal that she can't use her name?

Or it's just no.

So then she released her own makeup company.

And I think there was like an X amount of time that she could release a makeup company.

And like the day that that set of time statute limitations was up, she released Jones Road.

She can't, I don't think, ever make makeup with her name on it, but Jones Road is the name of her new company.

Okay, I think that's fair.

Like

just business.

Yeah, same.

Yeah.

Cool.

Our next story, a bit of real estate news, an update from story from last week about Sonia Morgan's townhouse selling at auction.

It has finally sold for $4.45 million after a two-week online auction wrapped up on Wednesday.

So that is about half of the original listing price, which was $9.95 million.

As we go on,

we remember

all the times we...

This is truly the end of an era.

And I knew it was up for auction.

I knew the house was being sold, but like, I don't know why.

Like, I didn't think it was actually going to be.

Because it's kind of like this joke.

Like, she can't get rid of it.

She can't get rid of it.

Like, Sony Morgan doesn't own the townhouse anymore.

Like, that's crazy.

Yeah,

it is.

And the buyer got a really good price.

Right.

She bought it for what, seven?

Nine?

Oh, well, she didn't.

That's the magic of this house was that her ex-husband paid for it.

Right.

Right.

But like, I wonder if she, the bank at one point was like, did she own it outright?

She, I think she got it in the divorce.

So it was kind of like this thing she was sitting on that.

She gets $4.45 million in her pocket.

I think so.

That's good.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's good.

It's time.

It's also just an amazing price for, you know, a classic six on the Upper East Side.

Yeah, but it requires a lot of renovation.

Yeah.

But there's so much you could do with it.

And I do wonder, like, you know, who purchased it.

Of Of course, I respect the privacy of the buyer at this time.

But does the history that and the cultural context that comes along with it, does that entice the buyer?

Do they not care?

Like.

I don't know.

But as we discussed, I think it has an opposite effect.

Yeah, no, it definitely hurt the purchase price.

You could even, like, renovate it and make it an Airbnb, not for like Bravo fans, but like just for anyone, because people don't care if they rent Sonia Morgan's townhouse for a period of time.

No, even someone who could rent a townhouse, like they're coming to New York for X amount of time, and they could rent a whole ass townhouse.

Wealthy people like don't want this type of attention.

They look down on like reality star kind of like B-list energy.

Right, but if you just like saw it on a rental site and it was totally changing, you never watched House Ice, like you wouldn't know.

Yeah, but like it would, you would soon find out with people like stopping by and like taking pictures of your house.

Yeah.

Well, like people who can afford that are extremely private.

Yeah.

So, but I mean, it's a great deal.

Like, who, if you're an investor, you don't want to pass up this deal.

No, it's so true.

But like, how much time do you need to own it before you can sell it without those sort of strings attached i think it would never it's not like people stand outside all day like i think it's okay and as more time passes the less interest there will be like it's just like a woman's house from an old show every time i walk past it i just like take a picture of my like a selfie but with it button the back like i always do yeah that's that's fine i don't think like people like it's not

you think people like knock on the door and

No, and there's a

gate.

Kind of.

Like you can just open it.

But there's a million houses.

Like anyone who's been on TV, like their house is on TV.

Like it just, it's a

way of the world.

It's so crazy.

Yeah.

Well, I'm happy that that's the end of that.

Well,

I don't know how I feel.

I wouldn't say I'm happy.

I'm nostalgic, if you will.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

A little more content news?

I guess.

The summer house reunion trailer dropped.

The season finale is tonight, but the reunion trailer dropped, and there are some bombshells.

Wes Wilson hints that temptation from female Bravo fans ruined his romance with Sierra Miller.

That's so upsetting.

Like, seriously.

Yeah, that is.

And really crazy.

Did you also, I also wanted to say, did you see that he was, like, profiled in the New York Times?

I did.

And I was like excited to like see the hype of Wes.

Wes, what the hell is his name?

I feel like his...

Given name is West and his nickname is Wes.

That's how I see it.

So I saw before I caught up on Summer.

I was like, like, everybody's simping for Wes and I was like, oh my God, love.

And they were saying he's like a good guy, good guy.

And while I like him and I think his personality is great and he adds a lot to the show, like he's not this like chivalrous king.

Like him saying to

whoever it was that like he couldn't really be exclusive with Sierra because they hadn't had sex like ew.

Yeah.

Like respect to Sierra for not.

Like I what?

So it's like pressuring someone that's having sex with you to get what they want.

Like I didn't like that at all.

And I don't know.

He kind of gave like a little bit of fuckboy energy.

I don't know why we're like looking past that because because he's like cute with a mustache.

Yeah, I agree.

Also, I feel like whenever

like serious media will like ignore reality TV for so long and then like get so excited and focus on this guy who's been on eight episodes, we like don't even know him.

He's having a good arc because like Sierra's making him look good because Sierra likes him.

And like, where's the profile on Paige?

Like, where's profile on Sierra?

I completely fucking agree.

Like, where's the profile?

I'm like, how sick it is at what's happening with the girls on Southern Southern House.

What's it called?

Summer House.

Like how like Lindsay and like I think that story and how they're all getting along, but it's the best season yet.

Like what can we learn from that?

That's an article worth reading, New York Times.

And I don't want to clown, I actually like Wes, but you're right.

Like they never get the attention of like elite media.

And when they do, it's the new guy who's like kind of being a dick.

Right.

Who like hasn't proven himself.

No, but he's been fine, but like hasn't, we don't know him.

No, and seriously, after seeing Jesse Solomon's original song, that's a profile worth writing.

And his back, his story that he has shared, I'm sure Wes has an interesting story, but like we've seen so much Jesse Solomon has been really vulnerable.

Yep.

No, and like every, every

24 hours, I'm like in the kitchen.

What would Jesse Solomon do?

Like obsessed.

Yeah.

It's just like, I'm so glad you brought that up.

And I wonder what it made the other castmates feel who have been like carrying the show on their backs for seven seasons.

Right.

And I feel like a lot of times someone comes in, has a really strong first season, and the second season, it's like, not so much.

I would just like have waited to give the new york times stamp of approval until we actually

writing about summer house and this would have been like a word they of course but it's like the one thing you're gonna mention is the new guy who like does like kind of like he's been like he's been doing a lot he's cute and he's fine yeah he like it's different like he has a mustache and a mullet or whatever like and he has a good personality and people like him

but he's been such a good friend to jesse i love their friendship Cool.

We see good friends all the time.

Yeah, no, I thought it was weird too.

Yeah, there's just like so many other interesting angles for reality TV for this show like for Bravo.

Yeah.

Weird.

What was the story?

Oh, so what else came out?

Trailer.

Reunion trailer.

What came from the trailer is what I'm saying.

Oh, so that is one of the big headlines.

Then also, of course, Lindsay and Carl,

is Carl scared of Lindsay?

Yes, Lindsay seeing someone new who hasn't watched the show.

I feel like when people talk about Lindsay, like the, and Andy was like, oi, because he he hasn't watched the show yet.

And I guess if he saw what's on the show, he would, I never watched Summerhouse when Lindsay was this sort of like indefensible crazy person.

Maybe I need to,

but I'm not going to.

She's evolved.

Like she's grown up.

She, and the thing is, is that like a lot of the crazies, like things that people associate with Lindsay, her PowerPoint, you never make me a sandwich.

Like a lot of her crazy behavior is like in relationships, like romantic ones, not very soon.

So never make her a sandwich.

Stephen.

She's had so many boyfriends on the show.

Like, when you think about the show, it started Everett.

I remember Everett.

I watched him on the show again.

Like, I started the first season until I dropped off.

Everett recently got married.

Lindsay was there.

And I think Everett's wife is pregnant.

Like, so nice.

Everett.

Yeah.

And then Steven, who was the sandwich guy, and I think also the PowerPoint guy.

I don't know, like, say what you want about Lindsay.

Like, she has never been anything other than herself.

And she has been so honest.

Remember, was that last season when she talked about the miscarriage she had with with the guy from Winterhouse?

Like,

so

real.

Yeah.

Also,

I wanted to ask, maybe you know, but I don't, like, cause I didn't watch, what's more life?

I have no fucking idea.

But you've seen it.

Like, it's like more life, Carl.

Cause I guess one time he said more life.

What was he talking about?

None of the, you are speaking Chinese to me.

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

Also, they have a sign in their house that says more life because it's like, you know, one of his taglines from when he said more life.

I've never heard of it.

And they'll talk about like more life, Carl.

Carl.

Like, just like they'll talk about

hub, whatever.

You know, like.

Hubbard house.

Oh, I wanted to talk about that.

I was just talking about that with someone.

You know, Lindsay like bought a house in Nashville, like a townhouse and renovated it and made it into like an Airbnb where people can, you know, everyone who goes to Airbnb, who goes to Nashville for like a bachelorette party, girls trip, everybody stays in an Airbnb.

It's like a huge market there.

And a lot of people bought real estate, young people, and it's like passive income for them.

So it's like a really smart business decision of hers, but she's also like branded it, like stay in the house of a summer house.

I think it's so smart.

It's so smart.

I've never seen any other, every reality star, like, there's like sort of a template of things you can do, you know, start your own business, podcast, whatever.

I've never seen anybody do this.

I think it's so smart.

Cause I think the, even without the reality show, buying an Airbnb in a town like Nashville with like a, you know, a lot of tourism is a really smart business decision.

And branding it with this show, like, I think it's genius.

Right.

Cause also she's outfitted it so that like fans of the show are into it.

It's called Hub House.

But also I've seen pictures and it's like anyone who's going on a bachelorette party who wants like neon signs and a table.

It's just like lit and you don't have to be a fan of the show to rent it.

It is really genius.

No, I thought it was so smart.

It like made me want to do Toast House.

Like if we just had an Airbnb that was like so toasty, everybody like bachelorette parties for people who don't listen to the toast could like it's so smart.

It's really like kind of a no-brainer, except it seems like a lot of work.

But yeah, it does.

Aren't all good things?

Anything worth doing?

I'm excited for Summerhouse.

I forgot that that was on tonight.

I need to like now think about what I'm going to have for dinner and plan my whole evening around it.

Maybe get a frozen yogurt.

What am I going to have for dinner?

What protein am I going to make for my tailored farms?

I know what I'm going to have because last night Ben made chicken lettuce wraps and we have so much left over and he's gone.

So I'm going to have that in a hero bread tortilla.

Last night I made meatballs and I still have some.

I could do that if I don't want to like get down and dirty again.

Yeah.

And you might not want to.

You might just want to ease into Summerhouse.

But with the full belly.

Otherwise I'll just be snacking the whole time.

Classic me.

That's That's my downfall.

Like those evening snacks.

I don't know how to put a lid on it.

I know, but it's just like I'm sabotaging myself.

I know.

Whatever.

Let's not go down that dark path.

So we do have Deer Toasters, which I have kind of...

Not been teasing, just kind of like hyping it up a lot.

It is really good.

And I'm really excited to do it.

And I'm excited to let you know that Deer Toasters is brought to you by Byhart, which is a new sponsor here at the show that Jackie and I have been loving loving discussing.

We have been because Biheart, if you don't know, is an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents.

Their mission is simple, make the best formula in the world.

So Byhart makes baby formula and their whole thing is they never skim.

First off, it's made with whole milk ingredients.

They do not skim in that department.

It's just made with the best ingredients and they're not skimming on what's best for you and your pet.

It's also made with grass-fed whole milk, which is is so important and i love this concept i feel like that we're going back to whole milk like very trad wife i like that sort of what did you say slow living slow living and their whole ethos is never skimming which i feel like sums up parenting, especially like the younger that they are, you just want to give them the best of everything.

And it's so funny how like you might skim on yourself, but you will never skim when it comes to your child and what is best for them.

So I find like, it's so funny how I now never skim and the ways and the things that I used to do,

like ordering an avocado toast on Postmates.

But a few ways in which I never skim on my Bebez or non-toxic cookware, like before, who knows what was in my cookware, but now clean, non-toxic.

Cleaning products, ceramic coatings spray those chemicals on the counter.

Right.

My cleaning products are clean.

And actually it's spilled over into the way that I take care of myself.

Like my shampoo and conditioner, now I'm not skimming on what ingredients are going into the products that I use on myself, a lot of clean beauty, and even like taking care of myself in small ways and making room for self-care.

So that's been really lovely.

Also, when it comes to what I'm feeding them, I always go for the grass-fed whole milk once they're in the milk stage of life.

Grass-fed is just, that's what I learned recently.

You want to go with the grass-fed milk.

The cows like the grass.

I, can you blame them?

No, I can't.

actually you know what else I'm not skimming on what bread

well that's so true so yesterday I was making a sandwich with my own bread and I was like you know what I just want to see the because I know what ingredients are into my bread cheese sandwich

grilled cheese no it was a cheese spread Okay.

A spreadable cheese.

Okay.

And I was like, I just want to like confirm that this is worth all the time and energy.

I want to see what ingredients were in the bread that I used to use.

So I pulled it out of the fridge and like laundry list of ingredients.

And I I was like, oh, and that's like the healthy one, quote unquote, from the store.

So I just felt like so good about that decision.

And it just goes to show the things and the lengths that will go to for our children.

Jackie, that's beautiful.

Thank you, Law.

Also, Byhart is great for babies' digestion.

I mean, Byhart is great.

It's made with great products.

It's American-made

and their standards.

America.

Hmm?

America.

America.

And their standards are the highest.

They use certified clean ingredients.

Again, they use whole milk, grass-fed, not other products.

And that's just really good.

That's what we like to see.

Yeah.

So if you are.

But you want to feel good.

It's like kind of like, it's so crazy that like you give birth to this child.

Like everything, well, in the beginning, you know, obviously that they grow up and become independent, but like everything that goes in their body is like on you.

Yeah.

It's a lot of responsibility, wouldn't you say?

Yeah, it's definitely like a shift in how you think about things.

And you, and then you apply it to yourself in small ways.

And you end up with that.

Because it makes makes you think, like, of course, you think that way for them, and then it makes you start to question things about everything.

Yeah.

Like, if it's not good enough for them, why should it be good enough for me?

Right.

Or I can make these small changes that will make a big difference, and it's really not a big deal whatsoever.

Yeah.

So I know a lot of people who are looking for baby formula, they want the best ingredients and are looking to see what's out there.

So I'm proud to tell you that By Heart

uses whole milk, never skim, grass-fed, best-in-class ingredients, and you should check it out.

If you're curious about BuyHeart, redeem your welcome offer at buyheart.com slash podcast with code toast20 for a limited time.

Additional terms and conditions apply.

That's toast20 at buyheart.com slash podcast.

And I think it's worth mentioning that their formula is clinically proven versus a leading infant formula for easier digestion, softer poops, and less spit up, which is just good for everyone.

It's good for whoever's doing the laundry.

It's just good for everyone.

Who doesn't want those things?

So again, can you just let me know if somebody wants to redeem and get involved?

If they're curious, where can they go?

Curious about By Heart?

Redeem your welcome offer at buyheart.com slash podcast with code toast20 for a limited time.

Additional terms and conditions apply, code toast20.

T-O-A-S-T2-0.

Now, thank you, By Heart, for sponsoring this segment of Dear Toasters, which I just love Dear Toasters, and I specifically love it this week because there's two that are so crazy.

They're all good, but like these first two,

like, okay, ready?

Yeah, is is this the one for you or for me?

For you.

And by the way, like, you know, you know how to tune me in.

Weekly advice segment.

If you ever want to write in, you're going through something and you need our advice, you can email us, dear toasters at gmail.com or head over to our website, which is thetoastpodcast.com.

And both are anonymous.

Don't worry.

And we'll do our best to help you.

And if we have helped you and you want to update us on what happened, did you take our advice?

Did you not take our advice?

Did you wish you took our advice?

Did you wish you didn't take our advice?

Send us an update because everybody loves to hear, you know, full circle moments, even if it's not a happy ending.

It's okay.

Hey, Jackson Turd, I'm in my third trimester with my second child and I just had my culture swab test.

I've been with my husband for 11 years and an STD was detected.

I had the test done in my first trimester and both times with my first child and they all came back negative.

My husband swears he has never cheated on me.

We haven't been with anyone else since 2013 and he has no idea how I could have gotten chlamydia.

Now I'm super pregnant.

I'm going to give birth in two weeks.

I have a disease and I'm beyond pissed at my husband.

I have no idea if he did cheat.

I have no reason not to believe him, but I also need to hear how the fuck I have an STD STD at almost 10 months pregnant.

If I'm not at work,

if I'm not at work, I'm hanging out with my almost one and a half year old.

So she's basically saying she didn't cheat.

My husband and I work together at a restaurant that we own, so I know how much he's at work too and everyone there.

He does generally work longer hours than I, so I'm normally home before him.

Before work, he goes to the gym and every morning for over two hours on our off days.

Please help from a very confused emotional.

So she's saying there's a window of opportunity for him.

Yeah.

So I feel conflicted because like your stress levels and just like your mental well-being are of the utmost priority.

So like my advice would be like just to not think about this for a few weeks.

Like get your chlamydia taken care of, of course.

But like you're in your nesting area.

Like you'll figure very like how when Chloe found out about Tristan, like she just sort of like shut down to him emotionally and was just focusing on her baby and like getting through the birth in the most sound of mind way.

And I think that should be a priority.

I disagree.

I don't wholly agree.

I think that's one way to go about it.

Depends.

Like, can you get involved in this and not let it like completely take over?

But I don't know how you could just like put this to the side.

And I also think that for Chloe, like she did what she had to do in the moment, but she's like still suffering from everything.

And maybe because like she didn't process it.

Also, I think it's easier to deal with stuff when you're pregnant than when you have a newborn.

And then like, when do you even come out?

When does it get quote unquote easy?

And by then, it's been so long.

And has he been cheating this whole time?

Like, this is an immediate problem that needs to be solved now.

And I would first talk to your doctor and ask your doctor if there is any way on earth that you could get chlamydia anyway, even if it's a 0.001% chance you could get it from a toilet.

I don't know.

I'm just,

is there any way you could get chlamydia without it being from your husband?

So I, when I read this, I googled it because I, like, you can't.

It's a sexually, like, they're transmitted through vaginal, through genital fluids.

So unless he accidentally, like, swiped a vagina and put it on his penis, like.

Or unless she acted, did the doctor's office give her chlamydia?

With their.

That's interesting.

That's, but, no, no, no, but but you couldn't get it from another woman, I don't think.

Oh, actually, why not?

Can lesbians get chlamydia?

Like,

yeah, for sure.

Chlamydia and gonorrhea can be passed between women through shared sex toys, hands, and the rubbing of vulvas.

Yeah.

So I would talk to your doctor first and be like, what are the odds?

What are the chances that like he did not give it to me?

Like, is there a real possibility?

Tell her to be real with you because you know she's seen some stuff you know yeah right and then if it shakes out that like really the only way you could have gotten it is from him like you need to put him in an interrogation room until he either admits it or you go through his phone or you look the cameras at your restaurant and you talk to like we need to know if this man gave you chlamydia while you were pregnant let me ask another question did we test him for chlamydia

Great question.

But I don't know if men,

some diseases, can men test positive.

Yeah, so I think it's like they test positive, but they don't have symptoms.

I think they're just carriers.

Oh, yes, no, it can.

Go get him tested.

Like, don't tell him where you're going.

Take him to your doctor, pull him by the ear.

Yeah, but if he knows you, like, how long ago was this?

If you know, like, he might have, because he has to treat it too, so we might have just gotten like a sly prescription.

True.

Well, go to your pharmacy.

See what he's filled in recently.

Like, get to sleuthin.

This is the time.

You absolutely like need to get to the bottom of this because that is so, not only is he cheating on you while pregnant, not having safe sex like yeah the list goes on so many layers not thinking for one second putting your child in your belly in danger like oh my god

yeah i'm actually in agreement with jackie like it's it's such a layered betrayal

if true cheating is horrible cheating on your pregnant wife adds another like layer of

behemoth energy having unsafe unprotected sex putting your wife's health in danger putting the baby in her belly in danger like there's there's so many layers to this portrayal.

So we, we need to confirm that he did this before we kick him to the curb out on his ear.

I'm taking the house, the kids, and the restaurant.

And you can have your chlamydia.

You can

have your horse and your chlamydia.

Now with that.

Oh, I hate if it's true.

Please send me an update.

Like I'm, I'm begging you.

Now, this next one.

is so crazy.

I need an update like today.

Today.

Tell me what.

This next one is less severe, but it's not any less crazy.

Hey, and she said it's an accompanying screenshot, so I'll read it, but I'll do my best to protect the identity of everyone involved.

Hello, Swirlies.

How would you handle the situation?

Am I crazy to be offended?

So I got family photos done for a lot of money last fall, and the photographer randomly posted multiple photos from my shoot that she did with this caption.

For reference, I never once mentioned to her that I was insecure about my looks, and my appearance isn't something that I am upset about or normally triggered by.

I do not know her besides that the hour we spent together on pictures and she just posted three photos of my family on her Instagram with this caption.

Mamas, don't wait until you lose those last 10 pounds.

I hear this all the time from my mama clients.

We are so hard on ourselves.

I too used to use this as an excuse.

And you know what?

I regret the years we skipped family photos because I was not 100% happy with my looks.

Your family loves you no matter what you look like.

I promise you that you will look back on these family photos and they will make you smile and be so happy that you took those photos.

Time goes by too quickly.

Our kids, yada, yada.

There's still time.

And then like promoting, there's still time left to book a family session while we still have this gorgeous spring.

You are 100% justified in being upset.

This is literally one of the most disgusting.

Like even if you had shared that you were insecure and you're glad you did it, even though you, let's say you had shared that this was your story, her sharing that on her Instagram is a violation of just a code of ethics that I think photographers hold.

Photographers see you in deeply personal moments, especially like, you know, I think of like a wedding photographer, like she's in there with you.

Like photography is so personal.

And I think they have a lot.

Most photographers take that vow very seriously.

This is a betrayal.

You need to blow this bitch up.

First of all, her using pictures of you like on her Instagram.

No.

No.

Like, first of all, you own those pictures and she can't.

It depends what the photographer agreement is.

Not everyone knows.

But typically, like when you get like photos, wedding photos, like you own them.

No, typically, like you have to ask and you sign like a waiver when you hire a photographer and you have to ask like that they not use the photo on their website if you don't want pictures of your family like out there.

It's not the standard.

Got it.

Well, find out who owns them and if you have a right to tell her to take it down.

It's so funny because this girl probably thinks that she's like, you know, a female warrior.

Like, don't worry, you're perfect the way you are.

And it's like, you're the worst.

How about that?

Like, you think that you're like so empowering and supportive, but like you're an asshole.

Hate, jail, lock her up.

I would throw away.

I don't know what you can actually do by way of getting her to take it down, but like you're so right to be offended.

No, no, send her a message.

Like, you need to clock this bitch.

And if you want, if she wanted to be vulnerable, like about her journey, because she said, I always regret, put an ugly picture of you on there.

Who the fuck is this photographer to use?

Somebody else took up, like, this is so crazy.

You are 100% justified.

Like, you need to blow this bitch up in the DMs, like, so badly.

Yeah.

This is like the worst kind of girl.

Yeah.

Who thinks she's like, sisters, come on, we could do it.

Empower.

She's like, literally making this woman feel like shit on the neck of another woman

hate

hate this is so crazy yeah goodbye certainly whatever you could within within your power don't use her again do not recommend her in fact like derecommend her

and honestly i would post it but it's like embarrassing for you like why should you have to be embarrassed no i wouldn't you have to send her a message

publicly with this because also you're giving her more attention like try and handle it privately don't give her too much if it is what it is and you can't do anything about it let it go and let it be and just know like you're right and she's wrong in the screenshot she sent like there is the photographer like I literally want to message the photographer like and write delete this yeah she'd be so confused she would be

that would be funny it's literally insane all right ready for the third and final druke toasters yeah

help I recently caught my husband smoking.

We've been married for 12 years and I'm very anti-tobacco slash smoking of any kind.

I've had suspicions before, but never had anything concrete to base it on.

For context, I went looking for my husband around our house one day and I found him outside hiding in a corner sharing a cigarette with his mother.

I lost my shit, took the kids, and left.

All I had to say was, last time I checked, I'm over 18.

I feel like I can't trust him anymore and I feel so disrespected.

This is and always has been a non-negotiable for me.

I can't even stand to look at him now.

This isn't something I can get over, but how do I move forward?

Thanks.

This is tough for me to advise because that would not bother me.

What would bother me is like the secretness, but of course he feels like he has to do it in secret because it's such a deal breaker for you.

Yeah, I can't relate to this because I don't want my husband smoking.

And if I did find out that Ben like had been creating this secret smoking habit, like I

wouldn't take the kids and leave.

Like I happen to think this is like an over

reaction.

But everybody like certain people, you know, you might have lost someone to lung cancer.

Like it's triggering for some people.

So I can't get into your head space because I think you're being a little crazy, but that doesn't mean you are being crazy.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And I'm sure you have your reasons.

But I think that there can be resolution between the two of you.

This is certainly not grounds for divorce.

I think whatever the reason is that why it upsets you so much, you need to take the time to explain that to him.

And normally I always say, like, it's not really the crime, it's the cover-up.

But him, like, secretly smoking is not the same as like him secretly, like, going.

I don't know.

There's no cover-up when there's no crime.

Right, right.

And so, like, to us, this isn't a crime.

But,

and it's not objectively, it's not a crime.

Like, running and going and grabbing a cigarette, like, that's not a crime.

But it's upsetting to you.

Yeah.

And I would sit him down and be like, listen, I don't want you to smoke.

I understand that it's like something you're interested in pursuing.

I would love to work on this together.

Like, I don't know, maybe putting it more out there will make it easier for him to stop.

But also, like, how I'm seeing it, how often is this happening?

I'm thinking like

once a quarter, you know, every few months, like not like...

Because you can't really hide like a full smoking addiction because of the smell, the teeth, everything.

Yeah.

Or like once every few weeks.

What is it?

When he drinks.

Is it, you know, once a week?

That's getting to be something.

I don't know.

All the things men can do.

If you absolutely abhor something and your husband's doing it once a week, that's too much.

Yeah, I guess.

I'm trying to think.

Some people have a cigarette like once a year.

Once a quarter.

Maybe you may come up with an agreement with him where it's like,

yeah, four cigarettes a year you get.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I feel I'm ill-equipped to answer and help.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Because I really can't get into your headspace.

I think that there needs to be dialogue, communication, and eventually there will be resolution.

Yeah.

Dialogue.

Dialogue is the answer.

And compromise.

Let's agree on the number of cigarettes per year.

I like that.

That way everyone's expectations are set.

And you can express that.

And if ever in a pinch, he can, you know, express himself.

Yeah.

And I'm sure he'll go over his allotted number of cigarettes, but at least like you won't be so betrayed when you find that he smoked one because like you allowed a little bit.

But I think you can, you know, take the kids back home.

I think so.

Unless there's other issues, in which case...

You didn't.

Leave the kids at grandma's.

Yeah, but like, I feel like if there were other bigger issues, you would have shared that.

Yeah.

Um, well, thank you to everyone who wrote in.

Again, if you want to write in, it's dear toasters at gmail.com or the toastpodcast.com.

If you have an update for us, we would love to hear from you, especially girl number one.

So, girl number one, um, please write us back.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fastest stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have an an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.

I am going to pee in my pants.