Girly Swirlies Night Out: Friday, May 17th, 2024

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Congrats to all the grads for graduating the week.

It's Friday.

Yeah, that's right.

Not to brag or anything.

I've graduated from Congrats, Grads.

You're over it?

I'm on to Congrats, Trads.

Ooh, Contrads, Trads.

Congrats, Trads.

I made two more loaves of bread last night.

I just want to say, it's not that I'm obsessed with sourdough.

It's that I'm in it and I haven't mastered it yet and I cannot stop until I've got it done.

And then I can judge whether or not I want to keep doing it.

But I'm not, I don't keep doing it because I'm obsessed and I got the bug.

It's like I need to conquer this thing.

One thing about Jax, you tell her she can't do something, she'll do it twice.

One thing about Jax, I'm a perfectionist.

I'm Enagram type one, and I'm not going to stop until I have a gorgeous loaf of bread.

Even though my loaves have been tasty, I finally got to give one to Olivia last night.

I drove over there at like 9 p.m.

with a hot, fresh bread, and her and Shapiro loved it.

And that's one thing about them.

Like, they're not picky.

And they're always going to

enjoy what you've made.

Yeah.

And the thing is, I think that you going on this journey of making your own bread or Gondrail

is going to light a little bit of a fire under Olivia's ass because Olivia's always kind of been like the doer and you've outdone the doer.

And I'm telling you, in the coming weeks, like olivia is going to start her own bakery she's like like oh she has kind of gotten comfortable in like her being she's always been like the most bala busta you know kitchen girly in the family and you're now over here making your own bread and that definitely shifts the dynamics of the family Yes, but I actually don't think it's so out of step.

Like Olivia is very much the bala busta, like throws together a Shabbat, like cooking, you know, she cooks with her heart, she measures with her heart.

And I am not that, like, I'm recipe, like, I want to be a child.

You're a lesson chemistry.

Yeah, like I'm not just like breezing around the kitchen.

So I actually feel like we compliment one another.

Like she could make a gorgeous meal and I could just bring the bread I worked on for eight days.

Yeah, yeah.

And the time that you made bread, she made eight meals for her family.

Right.

And I also want to say that last night when she tried my sourdough, she gave me the highest compliment, which was, it tastes just like my wild grain.

That is because I had that wild grain shit and it was really good.

And also, the more I think about it, a lot of people make sourdough and they immediately freeze the loaf so that they can have it in the future.

That's exactly what Wildgrain is.

Like, she's having fresh sourdough that's then frozen in center and then she defrosts it.

So

all's to say, like, she liked my bread and it was edible.

And

then as I was leaving, I saw Shapiro go back into the kitchen for another slice.

Like, these are high compliments.

All's to say, congrats to you.

For

setting your mind to something and accomplishing it.

Like, there's really no greater feeling.

Now, of course, you can tweak and improve, but you did the damn thing.

And to that, we say, congrats, Trads.

And I will continue to do the damn thing until I get it right and find the right recipe for Florida.

People have sent me amazing recipes.

So I'm prepared.

I just need time now because I can't cook two loaves of bread every day.

Like I just can't.

I have a full-time job and two small children.

And last night, like I literally did not take off my makeup again till 10 p.m.

Not acceptable.

Unacceptable.

Now,

what also is unacceptable is that we have dilly-dallied far too long.

I think there are people joining this episode.

You've spoken about me far too long.

No, no, no.

But I was

at the top.

We can get back to sourdough, I promise.

Okay, but okay, thanks.

24 hours ago, we did the thing that we hate when people do when we were like, secret project, reveal tomorrow.

24 hours till we tell you what we do.

And we kind of hyped it up, but the time is here for us to announce.

Time is now.

Time is now.

Perfume.

Oh, wow.

Love that.

Something we've never done before.

Something Something we've gotten a lot of requests to do for, I think, a brief period.

We were actually, we have done it once before and like it didn't go amazingly.

And we were like, I don't think this is for us.

And we just like years ago.

Like six years ago.

Tabula Rasa.

Tabula Rasa.

We feel like we're at a place where we can officially drum roll, please.

Do live shows.

That is right.

Now, of course, we have to do everything a little bit different because we are not like other girls.

So while Jackie and I are not yet, not yet going on tour, we are going to be doing a residency this summer in New York.

So Jackie and I were planning on spending over the gorious, gorgeous state of New York.

Gorious.

Jackie and I were planning on spending the summer together in the Hamptons.

And we were like, listen, should we make the best use of our time and perhaps, perhaps, perhaps do a couple of live shows?

And we did.

So we are going to be kicking off the summer at the end of June at the Beacon Theater, two shows in New York City.

And then Jackson and I are headed to the Hamptons for the summer.

And we will be doing live shows at the West Hampton Performing Arts Center.

I have done a show there.

It's amazing.

We have three shows booked.

Maybe we'll add more if peeps, you know,

if there's

demand for it.

Excitement, but we're excited to get on stage, do live, meet people, doing meet and greets, the whole shebang, while also, you know, we're homegrown big apple swirlies.

Yeah.

So yeah, and

we're going, we're hometown heroes, going back to Long Island, back to our roots.

We were going to call it the Flid Tour, if you know, you know.

But of course, you know, we came up with a better idea, which is the girly swirly's night out.

Because that's what it is.

When you tell your friends, like, oh, what's that?

What's that thing you're going to?

It's a girly swirly's night out.

It's a GSNO.

Like, we're there to have a good time and a good time only.

We're there to laugh, drink, dance, sing.

Like, it's going to be the GSNO and the girls' night out that you've been waiting for.

And if you have come to see me on tour, just know this is completely different.

This isn't stand-up, it's a live podcast.

We're going to be playing some of our favorite games.

Perhaps, you know, some titillating guests stopping through whom, you know, whom we happen to be related to, perhaps.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

But it's just meant to be a girly, swirly, downright good ass time.

Good ass time.

We're going to have the, like, seriously, I've never, especially like having gone on tour by myself, like, I'm, and it's a lot like a, um, it's a, it's a heavy burden I carry, you know, going on stage by myself.

Being able to do it with the swirly, like, we're going to have so much fun.

Like, I feel like I'm not even going to be nervous.

Like, I was so nervous when I, when I do stand-up, but, like, I feel like this is just pure fucking fun.

Pure excitement, pure fun, and pure toast.

We're going to be doing toasty things.

We have a really great program programmed.

We have a great program.

I love that.

Yeah.

And I'm really excited to see everyone excited for the residency.

Because of course we can't go on tour.

No, of course not.

Logistically, let me tell you what's what.

Head over to our Instagram for all the dates and locations to plan your purchase, you know?

Next week, tickets will go on sale.

All the details will be on our Instagram.

So don't fret.

If you are a Patreon member, you will get access to the pre-sale.

It's also not too late to become a Patreon member if you like are really worried about getting a meet and greet or a ticket.

Oh my God, excuse me.

Do that on patreon.com slash the toast.

Next week, tickets will go up.

Patreon members will get it first, and then it'll be general on sale after that.

All the details will be on my Instagram, Jackie's Instagram, and the toast Instagram.

So as long as you're following us there, you will be settled.

And again, check out our Instagram now for the date cards, all the locations, all the dates, New York City, West Hampton.

Hampton, the swirlies are coming and seriously, get ready.

Jackson, Claude, take the Hamptons.

No, it's giving Summerhouse.

It's giving Kim and Courtney and Chloe take the Hamptons.

That's a better reference.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaking of Summerhouse, I've been watching.

So that's also getting me really excited for our Hamptons John, even though they never really leave the house.

And when they do, there's no cameras.

No cameras.

That is the fatal flaw with the show.

And I do think, not to go on like a total random tangent, when the show first began, and it was a kind of this like ragtag cast and they never left the house.

And every time they did, they couldn't film.

It was seriously like, what's the point in the show?

Now I feel like they've gotten to a place where like the cast is so good that it doesn't matter that they never leave the house, but like it would improve.

No, and I actually get a little sad when they leave the house because I'm like, oh, we won't get all the camera angles.

Like, oh, I have to watch, like, they're having fun.

This isn't like good for my show.

I bet it's great for their mental health to be able to leave the house, not be filmed.

And like, yeah, it can contribute to the storyline, but you can like take a break.

Yeah, but most of the time these days when they leave the house, they go to restaurants and clubs where they can film at.

Which are never like the cool cool spots.

Yeah, no, they actually went somewhere on the episode I watched last night.

They must have been able to film somewhere like new for the first time.

And they were talking about how so excited they were.

It was the best night ever.

There were people their age.

They were like, this is, it was.

Where'd they go?

I don't remember, but they didn't say like, because we can film, but that's just the vibe I get.

Like they go to lesser places where they can film.

Yeah.

Anyways, my summer house journey is going well, but it's definitely conficting with my sourdough era because sourdough was taking away from all of like the spare few hours that I had go towards sourdough when they should have have been going towards summer house and then I'm going to sleep at 1230 and that's just not right.

Would you ever consider putting a little TV in your kitchen?

A lot of people do that.

That's a great idea for when I'm cooking, but when I'm cooking like I'm so dialed in because as I said like I'm not skilled enough and I don't want to encourage my children to eat and watch.

Yeah, no, I think TVs in the kitchen are like great for adults, but more often than not, dinner time just becomes movie time, which, you know.

Yeah, like we didn't have a TV in our kitchen growing up and I like that.

There's TVs.

Everything is a TV now.

Like I don't need know.

And you could just like bring an iPad.

That's true.

But I like to watch, like that's the thing.

When I'm ready to watch my show, I'm in the bed, Himalayan popcorn, make it, maybe make it a party mix, add some cheddar bunnies, and I want to enjoy.

I was having this conversation at Book Club about like where people have in their grown up apartments, like where do you have a TV?

A lot of my friends only have it in the living room.

So when they get into bed, it's just like bedtime.

I was saying how I don't even, I watch, I'm such a bed person.

Like I have a TV in my bedroom and I don't even have one in my living room, you know yeah i haven't watched a tv in my living room though in

forever

well like i know i saw your story so funny well so ben is like on this mission because the knicks are like you know have like all these big games and ben like wants to have people over to watch and i'm like great but we don't have a tv in our living room you don't want to have them in your bedroom right i'm like what everyone's gonna get in the bed next slumber party and so last night ben like after talking about it for so long he was like i'm just going to best buy and i'm getting a tv and the way that our room is configured, the living room, it's like, you can't just like, we don't have a media console and there's no like wall to mount it.

It's very complicated.

So he just like rogue bought a TV.

It was fucking huge.

He set it up.

It obviously didn't fit.

And like, have you ever returned to TV?

No.

Have you ever

been displeased enough?

Because like you just tear open the box and you throw it on the wall.

And I was like, do we have to put it back in the box?

Yeah.

I had literally torn the box to shreds.

Yikes bikes.

He was seriously like being such a baby about the Knicks and a baby about like having people over and like a baby about putting it back in the box.

I'm like, this was your mission.

And he was like, can you help me put in the box?

And I was like, no.

I'm just a girl.

I had helped assemble it.

I'm just a girl.

Also, you do see a very unattractive side of your partner when you're assembling furniture.

I mean, I can only imagine

what Ben is saying about me on his podcast because I was seriously being like, move, move.

I was being like so nasty, like really like a bitch.

But like, don't, don't do that to me.

I'm like a nice Thursday night.

And we had had a nice dinner.

He cooked dinner and then we like ate the dinner so fast, like standing up because he had to go to Best By.

He's like, all right, I'm going to go to Best Byte.

Let's have dinner.

I'm like, wait, what?

So like my dinner was ruined.

Like, it was just not a good night for us.

I'm so sorry, Los World.

It's okay.

It's fine.

I was cleaning flour off my counters like for 12 hours.

So also, I just want to say, so yesterday, I knew I was going to cook this bread.

So I started the process of making my dough at 8 a.m.

yesterday because I like was up early and I had time.

So I was like, great.

And then two hours later, you do the salt and then you prove.

I started at 8 a.m.

I did not have bread to the Shapiro's house by 8 p.m.

It is a 12-hour endeavor.

It's insane.

No, it's really insane.

Is it worth it?

Not yet, but once it's right, it will be.

I know some people proof overnight, but I can't then like get to.

Yesterday was an anomaly in the morning where I just happened to like wake up early to and be able to do it.

But usually I can't do hard things in the morning.

I can only really do the things i'm doing right now

yeah i like you know i mean like i can only do these things people can do hard things people can do hard things and sometimes self-care looks like hard work and sometimes self-care looks like baking a loaf of bread

yeah

yeah and sometimes self-care means leaving your husband with a tv to put back in the box by himself while you go in bed and read your kindle That is the ultimate, oh my God, thank you for bringing up my Kindle.

Most of the time, that is what self-care looks like.

A thousand thousand percent.

Wait, I'm reading this book, and seriously, like there should have been a trigger warning on it.

There's like four chapters about Notovirus.

Like the main character gets it and then gives it to her boyfriend.

And like, seriously, I was shook.

I'm glad that you brought it up because I wasn't going to, but since there's norovirus in the air, I need to tell everyone there's norovirus in my house.

Yeah.

Which also is great that I've been making sourdough.

If anyone wants a piece of

settle their stomach.

But I wanted to ask the classic question.

Because we got Norovirus, the great Noro of 2022.

We literally did like six episodes on it.

We did a feature film documentary.

I literally am changed as a human being from it.

Have you had it since?

No.

Okay, because right now the Shapiros all had it.

No, you're not immune to it.

No.

I'm asking the group a question.

Is it something that if you've had it once and you really and truly had it, not just like, oh, I charted, like you went through it.

Can you get it twice?

Is it like the chicken pox or is it like the flu every year?

It mutates and it's seasonal.

It's the flu.

It's literally the seasonal stomach flu.

I want people to sound off in the comments.

Have you had well intrinorovirus?

And if you've had it, you know what it really is.

Have you had that experience twice?

So I want to say I haven't had it since, but I also haven't been exposed to it since.

I haven't known anyone to have had it.

Ben hasn't had it.

I've been exposed.

Like I'm exposed right now.

I'm exposing you viewers.

Right.

And I haven't gotten it yet.

I'm prepared if I do.

Like, I'm, I understand.

That's part of life.

I mean, I might even, like, you know, get into a new decade on the scale.

And

so I'm a little bit like, okay.

Jackie.

You will know that you have it if you randomly, like, not at night, just in the middle of the day, like start to feel extremely tired.

For me, like, I got home from the toast that day.

It's a hard bar.

That happens all the time.

No, no, no.

It's a different kind of exhaustion to the point where like if you sat down on the couch, you would fall asleep.

I literally sat down on my bed after the toast and I fell asleep for four hours.

And I kept like waking up being like, let's get up.

And I seriously, I couldn't move my limbs.

Four hours later, I got up and I was like, oh, toilet.

Got it.

Well, it's this, it's this unbeknownst to exhaustion.

And actually in the book, the girl has like the worst case of it.

And that's exactly how it happens.

She just kind of like stumbles into her bed and goes to bed at like four, 4 p.m.

And then at 8 p.m., like the nausea wakes her up and she has it for like four days.

Okay, why?

is that in your book?

And I also feel like the virus is really at its peak a 24 hour.

No, it's not.

No, it is not.

It's 24 hours of uncontrollable orifices, but then you don't have anything left.

And then you're, I remember I would 24 hours of.

By the way, not having anything left is the worst part because you're still having the urge to vomit and shit.

So you're like dry heaving.

I had the most terrible stomach cramps.

When I had it, I had 24 hours of the purge and then I had a fever.

So you had had like a milder case because like it started with Ben and then to me and then to you.

So it was still like bad for you.

But for Ben and I, I was seriously, I had uncontrollable everything for 36 hours.

And then like fever, sweats, chills,

stomach pain, but not like

for another day or two.

She was going through it for four days.

And why are you reading that?

Like, is this just into the story?

I didn't know, obviously, that it was a point.

I wouldn't have read it.

Why is there a book about the norovirus?

I don't know.

I don't know, Abby Jimenez.

I don't know.

That's really weird.

Yeah.

Well, sound off in the comments.

Have you had it the real thing twice?

Could I, could I, my time be coming?

Sound off in the comments.

In which case, it's good that it's the weekend coming up.

I'll see you guys on Monday.

Bright and early.

Maybe I'll be looking thinner.

We have the fast five today and

Queenie and Weenie.

No, no, and like, tell me.

Oh, good.

Friday vibes.

Strong and silly at the same time.

Strong and silly.

I love that.

Yeah.

And then we also have deer toasters.

That coupled with the...

Oh, not dear toasters.

I'm sorry.

Queenie and Weenie.

I don't mean to trigger you.

What?

No, we don't, please.

That coupled with the major announcement we just made, I feel like who wouldn't listen to this episode?

No, who wouldn't?

And hopefully, per usual, there'll be a bomb title.

I don't know if we've reached it yet, though.

I think Girly Swirly's Night Out, though.

Oh, yeah, but also, I wasn't hating strong and silly.

Super cute.

That's us, like, to a T.

Could we be stronger or sillier?

No, we really couldn't.

And that's what you can expect at the GSNO.

Tickets on sale Monday at our Patreon.

And now, as ever, is a great time to join Patreon.

Oh, yeah.

I thought you went for the fast five.

I was like...

Now as ever is a good time for the fast five.

Yes, also true.

Two stories.

And should we deliver a lie?

Girly spoilers night out will be no fun.

Lies.

Lies.

Without further ado and further lies, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, ACM Awards 2024 aired last night.

Of course, I didn't get to watch because I was working on my sourdough.

I watched.

But here are the big winners.

Okay, I just want to say, I respect country music.

The ACMs have turned into

the Laney Wilson Awards.

No,

like American Music Awards.

Whoever shows up wins.

Like, Luke Holmes was not there and Morgan Wallen was not there.

Now, you cannot deny that the two of them

were this year in country music.

Honestly, they were this year in music, selling out the biggest venues in the country, literally on the same level as Taylor Swift and Beyonce.

For them to have not won any awards because neither of them were there, that's how I knew.

I'm like, we're just giving it to the people who showed up.

Chris Stapleton, Lainey Wilson, and Jelly Roll.

Yeah, so that about sums it up.

Entertainer of the Year, the nominees were Kane Brown, Luke Combs, Jelly Roll, Cody Johnson, Chris Stapleton, Morgan Wallen, and Lainey Wilson.

And Cody Simpson.

And Cody Simpson, who was snubbed.

Big time.

The winner was Lainey Wilson.

And I just want to say, I love women in country.

And I gave this spiel last year.

You guys can go watch it because I love Lainey Wilson.

She's unreal, but she's like, wasn't the entertainer of last year and she wasn't the entertainer of this year.

And I have to imagine being Miranda Lambert

sitting there.

Miranda Lambert for years was snubbed in that category.

Sometimes she wasn't even nominated.

And if she was, it was just like to nominate her for the sake of nominating.

I don't even know if she's ever won.

I think maybe the one year she won was the year they gave it to her and Carrie Underwood.

Like finally, to give it, we're going to give it to both women.

For her to sit there, like, in the front row with her boyfriend, like her husband, whatever.

And, like, seriously, like, it must be infuriating because you know, Miranda's not the type to just like blindly support other women, and that's why we stand.

Um,

it must be seriously, like, difficult to swallow for real.

Yeah, it's

it's just not.

And I can't stress enough, like, I love Lady Wilson.

Yeah, no, she knew if I drink a little drunk, it's cause I am one.

I fucking love that song.

Like, she's so good.

If my neck's a little red, it's cause I am one.

Like, I love her.

She's not the entertainer of the year.

Yeah.

She's not, she wasn't last year and she's not this year.

Like, however, she also won female artist of the year, which I think she is a motherfucker.

Which I thought was appropriate.

Yeah, the other nominees were Kelsey Ballarini, Ashley McBride.

Kelsey Ballarini doesn't win any of these awards.

No, I actually was thinking the same.

I feel like she's nominated in every category every year.

Has she won one?

No, they're kind of like always not giving her the credit she deserves.

And I feel like last year was really like the year of Kelsey Ballarini.

And I don't think she won any.

And she was nominated this year for Rolling Up the Welcome Matt, the Platinum Edition that had like one new song.

So I don't feel like this was her year, but like a new song?

No, it was, I think maybe like a revamped, like it was dilos, you know?

One thing about me, I'm obsessed with rolling up the welcome mat.

And so that was last year's

nomination for her.

And like, that really would have been the year.

Like last year was was the year of Kelsey Ballarini.

And she did so much for country music and she never strayed.

Like, I feel like there are a lot of girlies who get like attention outside of country music and sort of like forget their roots, if you will.

And Kelsey like has remained so loyal to country music, given her success outside of country music and like in the pop sphere.

And I feel like they never really give her her

flowers.

Yeah, they just don't.

It's like they it honestly feels like they don't like her.

But then like she's always hosts the ACMs and CMAs.

Like she's very much in the industry.

i don't know what it is it's like weird i don't know what it is megan maroney was nominated casey musgraves and lainey wilson who won megan maroney though won female new artist of the year yeah yeah you can i don't think that they do new artist of the year female and new artist of the year male yeah but it just gives more people a chance to win

and they also have they have artist of the year male and artist of the year female male was chris stapleton so chris stapleton won all the big awards that he was nominated for one album of the year like male vocalist of the year.

I'm not sorry because I didn't listen to it.

But what I do know is that Growing Old was the album of the year.

No, the thing is, is that I know.

And this is not, I feel like Chris Tapleton wins everything, so I can say this.

I

actually...

only know one song off of his most recent album.

He had performed it last night and he performed it incredibly.

I'm obsessed with him and his father.

He's amazing.

The love he has for his wife.

Like you've never seen anyone stare at someone so piercingly than he did his wife.

And he was literally performing with Dua Lipa.

He didn't even look at Dua Lipa.

he was staring dead into the soul of his wife wife it was like so cute i love him like this is not a slight against him but like his album really compared to morgan wallin's album and luke combs album like really made no waves and it was just giving participation like whoever showed up won because surprisingly like a lot of big people did not show up last night and i think it's because they're busy being the entertainers of the year morgan wallin is performing this weekend at metlife stadium yeah that's right metlife stadium two nights back to back luke combs is performing at uh

Levi's, Levi's, yeah, San Francisco, the big football stadium.

Like, they're busy doing things that entertain, like, they're too busy, you know?

The real entertainer of the year is too busy entertaining to accept this award.

And so, I guess they didn't want to give it to someone who wasn't there, and there was no way that either Luke or Morgan could have been there.

But it does sort of, it gives it less credence.

It was seriously giving Billboard music awards.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Duo of the year, Dan and Shea.

No, like, none of the nominee, like, none of the winners were, like,

unique to to me.

No, that category is always kind of the same group of the year, Old Dominion.

I mean, and they should be snobbed again, but oh, yeah.

No, but every artist in this category, including Old Dominion, like I would have been happy with Zach Brown band, Little Big Town.

Sorry.

There was something else.

Oh, the performances were so fabulous.

I just, I said to Ben,

it was during Post Malone's performance, and then like he cut to his band member, and he got like a solo on the fiddle.

And I was like, this is just such fabulous music.

Like, I love country.

It was so pure, this like old man on his fiddle, and everybody was living for it.

Like, was he fiddling on the roof?

No, he was fiddling on the stage.

Um, similar, but different.

And

it was like, last night really felt like so many people from like Dualipa, like, had reached out to Chris Tapleton to be like, I love this song, woman.

Like, can we do something together?

I think she, like, wanted to release a song with him.

Bobby Bones interviewed them after, and she was like, I reached out to Chris to like work with him.

And he, like, you know, threw me this bone of performing with me at the ACM.

I was like, I feel like Chris Tapleton has to field a lot of collab opportunities.

He's like the number one collab guy.

Honestly, him and Post Malone.

And Dua Lipa just like wasn't on the level, I think, of like all the other people that he collabs with.

Seriously, and she's huge, but it just speaks to Chris Tapleton's hugeness.

And so he was like, yeah, come perform with me.

And it was so good, by the way.

But

that's the vibe that I got when they were being interviewed.

Like, she wanted to do like an original song.

And he was like, yeah, you can sing my song with me at this random award show in Vegas.

Like if you want to fly, fly yourself here, pay for your own travel.

Because he's just fielding so many major collaborations, right?

Like everyone wants to work with him.

Speaking of major collaborations, the post-Malone Morgan Wallen song came out.

Like I didn't, how long were they teasing that song for?

I heard a snippet of it and I sent it to Margo like over a month ago being like, what song is this?

I like it.

Like they weren't teasing it.

Like it got leaked.

And I think they actually ended up releasing it sooner because there was so much demand for it.

Yeah, because I saw a clip and I sent, because, and I couldn't, I, like, I googled the lyrics.

I couldn't find it.

So I sent it to Margo, what song is this?

She's like, new post Malone Morgan Wallen.

But then it didn't come out for weeks after.

And so I just felt like they were teasing us.

But it's so good.

Like, it's so good.

My only complaint is like, literally, like, make it one minute longer.

Like, and we needed more song.

Um, but it's literally giving like song of the summer energy.

It's so good.

And he performed it last night by himself in addition to one more song.

I don't believe it's released yet from his upcoming country album.

You could tell he was really nervous.

Like, he did a really good job, but then like Reba came out afterwards and like interviewed him.

And he was like, I'm so nervous.

Like, he was literally shaking.

I don't know if he does like a lot of televised performances, but also this is like a totally new genre where he was singing live and playing guitar live in front of a live audience in an arena and then also streamed live on Amazon Prime.

He was really good and I like love this era for him, but like seeing, you know, Post Malone, Dua Leap, like all these people, I was like, I feel like country is like having its moment.

Like everyone kind of, Beyonce, Cowboy Carter, like everyone is getting in on it.

And it's like.

Age coach.

Yeah, like I'm loving it.

I'm loving it.

Yes, me as well.

And also not to bring everything back to Juliette Porter, but did you see that she was in the music video for Post Malone Morgan Wallen?

She was in the bar, like girl at the bar.

I did see that.

Thank you for reminding me.

And you just sounded like Madison Beer.

I was supposed to be in the video.

Juliet was supposed to be in the video and she was in the video.

Yeah, she's like, by the way, when she was in the middle of the video, she's kind of like being the forest gump of the generation, like just at every major moment.

When you said not to bring it back to, and I was like, literally, I did not think you were going to say not to make everything about Juliet Porter.

I thought you were going to say not to make everything about Luke or Mus.

This is like, I'm two days in a row of extraneously bringing up Juliet Porter.

And I could go to the moment.

And when you have that sort of razzle dazzle Markle Sparkle, we're going to talk about you.

Yeah.

She's just making waves outside of Siesta Key.

Yeah.

Justice for Siesta Key, another show that I kept up with, a comfort show of mine.

Gone but not forgotten.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey wrap their arms around each other as they enjoy a romantic getaway in Lake Como.

Laga.

Laga.

Yeah, there was like this really, really blurry picture of them like eating outside their chateau.

They looked like they were eating on the front lawn and like the picnic table.

It was so cute.

And like, that's really all we got, but live for it.

Yeah.

So what we know is they're on a lover's trip, you know, amid her European leg of her tour to Lake Como

doing lovery things.

Doing lovery things.

I love that they're both like he's that they're they're together because like he's experiencing this time off.

And they do say, like, if you're going to date a professional athlete, football is the best one.

They have the shortest season and the longest break.

Like, if you're married to a baseball player, like, seriously, see you when you retire.

Like, never.

What is it?

Like 75 games a year.

They have 18.

Oh, in football.

And they're talking about adding a 19th.

Like, instead of doing a preseason, I heard Roger Goodell making a speech.

Like, nobody watches preseason, but we all expend the money to like air it.

Like, why don't we just make it a regular game and like make the fans more excited to have one more game?

Oh, that's exciting, I guess.

I also feel like it takes a second to like get into football and then you're so into it.

And like by the Super Bowl, we're all so into it.

Like we need more.

I thought it was going to be like a postseason game.

Also,

you know what there should be?

What?

There should be a postseason game of the two runner-up teams, like the conference losers.

No, I don't agree at all with what you're saying.

It's giving like low stakes losers.

Who cares?

It's giving extra football.

Well, I would prefer like one more game in the regular season that like counts towards the Super Bowl, you know?

That's what they're suggesting.

Yeah, it just, it feels like a cash grab, which it literally said that it is.

Yeah, of course.

This is a business.

I just like when

the American song contest had the same sort of business sense that the NFL did, we wouldn't have missed out on Kelly Clarkson hosting the greatest song competition of our generation.

But then it's like, why not 20 games?

Call it 20.

I agree.

But wait, what I was going to say is that they announced this football schedules this year.

First game of the season.

Like, literally, like, seriously, there's a toaster in the commission, commissionaries,

commissioner's office.

Niners versus Jets.

Where?

Probably Niners.

Oh, so not a true toaster who she would have put in your backyard.

Yeah, she would have if she cared, but she doesn't.

And of course, there are females who work at the NFL.

Are you more than likely that there's female like commission game chiefs or a male toaster?

Right, no.

Literally, no.

Wait, also, oh, back to Taylor.

Oh, so what I was saying is, like, it's so nice that he has this time off and can spend it with her.

But, like, and I know they made it work when she was on tour and he was in the Super Bowl, like, two heights of their career.

She's in Singapore or whatever.

But, like,

I feel like they're not going to see each other for a while.

Like, come

in September.

No, just because, like, he then has weekly games and she's, you can't come back from Europe every week.

She's all over.

Yeah.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Yeah, no, I think it'll be good for them.

But I'm glad they're spending like their time off together and her time on and his time off together as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So just, oh, and he did an episode of New Heights and him and Jason were both not in their usual studios.

Obviously, Travis is in some chateau in Lago de Como.

And I don't know where the hell Jason was, but it looked fucking weird.

And so they were using like their travel equipment and whatever.

And somebody noticed like Jason was talking and Travis was sort of like disassociating and he put his hand to the right.

It looked like he was like stroking a cat.

Does Taylor travel with her cats?

So funny.

I was then having this conversation with my friend Margaret Faig and she was like, do you think her cats come with her?

For sure.

Like what, seriously, what's the point of being a billionaire if you can't take your cats with you?

Right, but what's the point of being a cat owner if you can't leave them at home with a bowl of feed?

Well, there is someone who like lives across the way from like one of the windows in Taylor Swift's apartment and has like spotted one of the cats like three times because cats love to like go up to the window and like.

fuck around.

So sometimes I do think that they're left there.

But even if like, yes, it's great to be a cat owner, but if you're a billionaire, it's also great to like have companionship for your cats.

you bet your ass bryce would be with me let's say we're going on a toast live tour we are actually billionaires like we have our own planes

like why the fuck wouldn't we bring our pets along with like daycare for the pets yeah

and then of course like childs and child's care yeah yeah yeah but but The cats don't need daycare.

That's the point of cats at least.

No, but like it's still nice to have like somebody to like be in charge of them.

Yeah.

Travis.

Maybe that's his role.

Speaking of pets, I would would love to give an update on Romeo, even though like nobody asked.

I feel like I like kind of abandoned him and then everyone forgot about him, which is totally fair.

But he has been with me for the last week.

And let me tell you, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a muddy good man.

He

is incredible.

I love this man and I have to have him.

Like, especially last night, like we had a real, real moment.

He's so sweet.

He's also, I think, you know, we got him at seven weeks, which is really crazy.

He's five months now and he's like still a puppy, of course, but he's more in his own element.

He's so sweet.

He's, you know, having had a few accidents, nothing major, nothing unmanageable.

He loves to lay with mommy.

He loves his dad.

Is he a mama's boy or a dad?

No.

And I'm like trying to pick up a lot of the slack, like do more feedings, take him out.

Cause he obviously, like, dogs love the person who

take care of them.

These days, these are formative days.

I know this is where the favorite parents are.

This morning I was like up and at him.

Like Ben was in the shower and he came out and he was like, Where's Romeo?

I'm like, oh, I took him out.

He's eating.

Like, you know, not a big deal.

Like, yeah, I did everything.

And

he still like ran straight to Ben.

Ben has, like, I don't know what it is.

Like, Theo loved Ben more too, like, for sure, um, which is great.

He'll be a great father.

And I can't wait to seriously, like, leave him with the kids and go on vacation.

Like,

it's great, but I do want Romeo to love me.

So, Romeo's just been amazing.

He's the light of my life.

I'm obsessed with him.

Like, seriously, he's so cute to the point, like, it actually freaks me out.

Because at this age, Theo wasn't as cute as Romeo is.

Like, Romeo's really exceptional looking, but Theo then grew into probably the most cavalier.

And I can say that now.

Like, he's gone.

I see other cavaliers.

I have another dog.

I don't think it was like, of course, everyone thinks their dog is the cutest.

I can see it now as an outsider perspective.

I look at photos.

Like, he really was one of the most beautiful dogs ever birthed.

And I'm worried, you know, because honestly, Romeo is so cute.

It can only go down from here.

Is that going to be Uggo?

No, I think it only goes up because also you fall more and more in love with him.

That whatever like quirk might come out, like, you're just going to love.

Like, seriously, stop focusing on the looks.

No, I'm so vapid when it comes to myself.

It's so crazy.

It's insane.

It's so crazy.

Like, not me literally, like, taking photos, choosing the best one, face-to-ing it.

Like, I'm crazy.

No, it's seriously so crazy.

I've tried to make you let it go.

Like, I've really tried to help you.

Yeah, I take a picture of Romeo from the side.

I send it to Jackie.

I'm like, does he look like he's going to have a long snout?

I'm like,

who?

And it's like, he's a dog, so it's not like the world will treat him differently.

You know, it's not even like it matters.

So the thing is, is like only cavaliers

will treat him differently.

Yeah.

With cavaliers, there's like a rare occurrence where you can have a long snout, which is like just genuinely like so unattractive.

I think that's with dogs.

No, no, no.

It's like a cavalier thing because they have like these cute sort of button-up noses, but every now and then you get like a dog, literally, with a, with a long snout.

And what's so funny is like, you know, we've told this story many times the reason we love cavaliers is because we had one growing up and we were so afraid of dogs and you know one day we came home and there was just like a dog and it was our parents way of just like sort of baptism by fire like we used to go to people's house and run away screaming and we would stop going to people's house if they had a dog so like something needed to be done and um

it was kind of brilliant it was brilliant and cavaliers are the best dogs for children which actually works out really nicely now but that's why we got a cavalier growing up because we were so afraid and they are like the most docile and sweet dogs for kids and we fell in love with our childhood dog but like, I think a couple of years ago, before we got our, you know, adult dogs, we found this like old picture of Dagney, the dog.

And I think we all looked at each other and we're like, damn, Dagney was busted.

Like, truly, like the big ass.

That's low.

That's turdy.

That's love.

But the thing is, you couldn't have told us that as kids.

Like, we would have seriously, we would have laid in front of oncoming traffic for this dog.

We love this dog so much.

Yeah.

But now, like, hindsight, that was really, like, truly, like, a fucking ugly dog.

Ugh, turdy, stop being mean about dogs' looks.

I'm not being mean.

I'm just speaking facts.

And I could tell you as an outsider, you happen to have a beautiful dog.

Bruno is very beautiful.

So you can

take the moral high ground and like be whatever at what I'm saying, but you say that with a beautiful dog.

I actually can take the moral high ground because when I got Bruno,

he wasn't the most attractive of his litter.

He definitely

cut character.

There were a couple of weeks where we were like...

He had personality, but his mama was going to love him through it.

Yeah.

And then he just turned into like the most handsome young man.

But even when he wasn't the most gorgeous, like he was the most gorgeous to me, and he was so special and unique looking.

Yeah.

Bruno, mommy loves you.

He didn't want to work today.

Bruno has an orovirus.

Just kidding.

Relatable.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

The new Miss USA has been crowned.

After

the old Miss USA.

We're going to pull the 11th runner up.

Miss Hawaii, USA, Savannah Gang

Savannah, has been crowned Miss USA 2023 amid the ongoing controversy surrounding the organization.

She was a runner-up in 2023 competition.

She received the honor from the governor of Hawaii at a ceremony in her native state of Hawaii on Wednesday.

So

when the story broke, there was three months left in the term of Miss USA 2023.

So what is there, two and a half months?

Yeah.

Honestly, this feels like genuinely a slap in the face.

For sure, but like I would snatch that crown in a second.

this is every runner upstream not to happen in this way but to in some way get the crown I don't know if it's every runner upstream to get like a

this is like this is like shit like

I get I get to be the thing I competed my whole life for something I lost but then they actually give it to me because the other girl quit and I only get it for two and a half months like seriously it's giving like like winning by default which is never how you want to win for sure but a crown is a crown and she can call herself miss usa like and she can say I was miss usa

that's why she got the competition in the first place.

She'll end up being on Real Housewives in like 20 years, and somebody will bring up that she wasn't, like, she tells everyone she was Miss USA, but like, she actually wasn't.

I could see this, like, seriously being a storyline.

Totally.

But I'm going to support her.

At least, especially until I know, like, what's going on, it's really hard.

And I think that's.

The mothers.

Did you see the mothers?

No.

Of former Miss USA and former Miss Teen USA sat down.

I think on Today's show or one of those shows.

They were very limited in what they could say, but they were very emotional.

And they were just kind of talking about the

they couldn't even say it because of the law.

It's like all they all signed NDAs, but it was the mothers signed NDAs.

No, but the girls didn't want to sign up.

They didn't want to get the girls in trouble, but they were just making, you know, large inferences.

It was very upsetting, actually.

What were they inferring?

You know, harassment, bullying.

They didn't say this, but it was giving like, you know, a form of abuse.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

They were very up like the moms were like on like teary-eyed the whole time.

Oh, that's so upsetting because I I was just going to say, I feel like if someone accepted the crown, then maybe like

it wasn't a worst case scenario.

Right, I don't know.

I don't know either.

I feel like they're, you know, we'll wait for the documentary.

Yeah, right.

To explain it all to us.

Yeah, but I guess in the meantime, congrats, Miss Hawaii.

I guess.

Yeah.

Our next story.

What number?

Four.

No.

Okay.

How about that?

Okay.

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Us in the Hamptons this summer.

Literally.

Our next story is some showbiz news.

There's no business like show business, I know.

I don't even know how to tee up this story.

It's so perfect.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

New musical hitting the scene.

The Queen of Versailles, starring.

Kristen Chenoweth.

The Queen of Versailles, like the documentary?

Yeah.

Is being made into a musical.

Yeah.

On Broadway or a movie?

It's a musical first.

It's not on Broadway yet, but it will go to Broadway.

It's like on the international

stage right now.

Kristen Chenoweth playing Jackie Siegel.

Wow.

Okay.

For those who don't know,

The Queen of Versailles is a documentary that came out a little while ago and it was literally super popular.

Over 10 years ago, it was really popular.

It was a really, really crazy

story.

It was just a documentary.

It was meant to be a documentary about this really big family wealthy family lives in florida and they were building the biggest residential home in america so that's why they got a documentary to follow their home it was modeled after versailles and they were filming the documentary in 2008 and as they're filming the documentary the fight the family and the the dad the father's business starts to go into financial ruin because of the 2008 housing crisis and he had like a lot of business and timeshares and literally they're like losing their money throughout the documentary the house is like in the middle of being built and is stalled because everything is going to shit.

By the end of the documentary, they are like

can't build their house.

They have like half a house.

Like the foundation is built.

Yeah, like his company goes bankrupt.

Like it's a crazy, crazy story.

And what's so crazy is that they were filming through the whole thing.

Right, like the people who, you know, originally signed up to make the documentary had no idea that it would take this turn.

It was really so crazy.

But also the family were really like a cast of characters.

Like the mom, she had, I think, I don't know how many kids she had like eight kids like she had Jennifer Coolidge energy She had Jennifer Coolidge energy She just had this huge family like really big personalities just like not what you would expect from an incredibly wealthy family Yeah, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but they were like a little tacky.

They were also kind of like hoarders Yeah, they weren't like refined like snobbish rich people.

They were kind of like if the everyday American became a billionaire, there was something oddly endearing and relatable about them, even though they were these, you know, wealthy, wealthy people.

Yeah, yeah.

It was not what you would think it to be.

And now it is being turned into a musical starring Christian Chenwith.

I love that.

I feel like we're always adapting shit into musicals or whatever.

But this is not something you would think to make into a musical.

It's such a random.

moment in pop culture, but it is like this crazy story.

And I bet it's like

a Broadway show, like kind of a crazy story, like really dramatic.

There could be like such crazy fun songs about these wacky events

and i i love this for jackie segal i have to imagine she you know

benefits financially from this no

i don't know but i would hope so i saw her once shopping a few years ago in utah she's like a um

like yeah she's like i think she's a podcast yeah i think she's on social media now like the rest of us

Right.

I'm going to look her up.

Even though the documentary was really before like peak social media.

So if it came out now, she would have like 5 million followers.

Yeah, her username is the real queen of Versailles.

She's kind of legendary.

Wait, she was Miss Florida.

It all comes back to Miss USA.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

She was Mrs.

Florida.

Did she compete against ballerina?

Is she still married to the guy?

I feel like they are, but

I would need to double-check that.

I know that.

By the way, yeah, she has six kids, three boys and three girls.

And she's still married.

Yes, she is.

And I feel like they got a little bit back on track business-wise.

Yeah.

Like, I think they're fine.

Yeah, I think he did okay.

In 2024, he stepped down.

Oh, like literally last month, he stepped down as CEO of Westgate Resorts.

Yeah, that was his company.

Okay, so he's been CEO up until now.

Oh, I'm happy for them.

Yeah.

And I think they eventually made it into the house.

Well, they are posing for pictures on her Instagram in front of like truly what looks like Hotel Duca.

Like,

yeah, and here I'm looking at a picture of her.

Oh, no, that's in front of the construction site.

Hold on.

Did that?

Well, they travel private, so that's great.

House.

I'm happy for them.

Yeah.

Except her and her husband are like literally so cute, yeah.

They are cute.

I stand

okay.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

No, I'm seriously like spiraling down.

I know, because apparently, they're not in the house, and like the house just sits there.

They keep taking pictures in front of this arch.

That's obviously the house, right?

But they don't live there, yeah.

The picture do you zoom in in the back?

I think it's a construction site.

Well, I

don't think so.

I don't think so.

I think they live there.

Hurricane Ian in 2022 wrecked some of the home.

It's like hard to know if they're doing well financially because so many of the photos she posts like in front of planes are throwbacks, you know?

Oh, yeah.

You know?

Whatever.

I truly wish the best for them financially.

Me as well.

And I, this is a show I would see if given, you know, if time and place were right and lined up.

Agreed.

And I couldn't have dreamed up a better casting.

Like, I really feel like someone went into my brain for this idea.

Yeah.

Our fifth and final story, it's Friday.

It's the fifth and final story.

It's got to be some food news.

I mean, okay, classic.

Food news, yummy, yummy.

Wait, we need to make like a little jingle.

So every time we have food news, that's our little.

Yeah.

But fruit salad is three syllables.

I just.

Food news.

It was two.

So I drag out the food.

It's food news.

Yummy, yummy.

Food news.

No, like I.

I'm really weird about syllables.

Like, I like that.

But it worked for me because it's the ooh.

It's just more ooh.

No.

I'm sorry, as, I'm sorry.

I'm going to have to override you as this singer, songwriter, and inventor of this jingle.

It's food news.

No, like the ooh, like seriously, like gives me a chill.

Like, not in a good way.

Overruled.

Food news.

Yummy, yummy.

I guess we'll just sing it differently.

How about that?

Okay, fine.

Do you want to hear the food news or do you want to keep fighting about it?

I kind of want to keep fighting about it, but I know that's not what we're supposed to say, so sure.

Tell me.

Tell me the food news.

As far as food news goes, what's your favorite brand to do food news about?

Krispy Kreme.

Okay, but don't worry, it's not Krispy Kreme.

That would be crazy if we had two Krispy Kreme stories in one week.

McDonald's drops a...

I mean, they're like tried and true.

They've dropped a new McFlurry.

I feel like you always talk about food news on days when I'm particularly sweet.

I think you're just always hungry.

Swirly.

Ain't that the truth?

Okay, let's get to the food news.

Yummy, yummy.

Yummy, yummy.

McDonald's has dropped a new McFlurry inspired by grandma's.

It tastes like a trip down memory lane.

So McDonald's took inspiration from an unlikely person when coming up with the latest McFlurry flavor.

On May 16th, the fast food Mavericks revealed the Grandma McFurry.

Fast food what?

Mavericks.

This story was literally written for me.

This one and the one before, I feel like someone's playing a trick on me just to get the juicy stories in the fast five.

By the way, please tell me what the flavor is.

Grandma McFlurry.

No, but like, what's the flavor?

A sweet new flavor coming to fans, but it's called Grandma McFurry, and it combines a delicious syrup and crunchy candy pieces like Grandma's favorite treat that she hid in her purse.

With vanilla soft serve, according to her release, all in all, the dessert is meant to be sweet, just like grandma.

So this.

I mean, not them releasing this information, like seriously, with what's in it.

So you know how like there's that meme about like those strawberry sucking candies

So is it strawberry?

I think it's like meant to taste like those sucking candies.

I don't know.

I'm I like this idea in theory, but I also think it leans a little too heavily into like internet comedy and it's like you're McDonald's.

Stop.

No, I think that would be fine if they were like if there was a million McFurry flavors and they were always releasing new ones.

There's seriously two McFlurry flavors.

This is like the oldest sort of trick in the book.

They don't do anything new innovative and they're perfect but to finally release like something big and new and like seriously it's like an internet meme and i certain and i still don't even get one from like this three years ago and the whole meme the meme was like where do grandmas buy these grandma treats that everyone has and by the way i saw them at the supermarket the other day oh wow mystery uncovered and i wanted to buy them but then i would really be a grandma yeah um but anyways the chief marketing and cons customer experience officer said that the new frozen dessert came about since grandmas are having a major moment influencing culture be it in fashion fashion, decor, or the food world.

The Grandma McFlurry tastes like a trip down memory lane, and we're excited to give our fans that experience while honoring the grandma figure in all our lives.

Really weird.

Like, really weird.

This whole thing is weird.

The announcement is weird.

The lack of details on the actual ingredients is weird.

Kind of giving this like zeros across the board.

On top of adding the Grandma McFlurry to menus nationwide, they're honoring grandparents by donating to Little Brothers, Friends of the Elderly, a nonprofit that provides companionship to elderly people Well, that's nice and so if they're doing this dumb like PR stunt just so they can make a donation

Yeah, you should give them a buck Yeah

But it's weird because there's a lot of things that you could exploit like there's a lot of internet trends that you could harp on and this wouldn't have even been number 100 for me.

And sometimes I feel like they would do it in collaboration with like, you know, Mother's Day, but there's it's not like Grandparents' Day.

Like, I don't know, this whole thing is fucking weird.

It really is.

It's giving elder abuse and also the cup that it comes in like it's signed on the bottom xo xo grandma

what

so creepy this is so weird and i also this is like a miss this is a miss and i'm not saying this because i support it but just as like an investigative journalist which i am i need to know what it tastes like yeah of course do they have a picture of it yeah here

i've zoomed in for you

Oh, well, it appears like there's caramel on top.

And like some whipped cream.

By the way, that's not even.

A McFlurry like doesn't have whipped cream, first of all.

So

what the hell is this?

It looks like oatmeal.

This is like really.

Oh, ready users are.

Oh, ready users are claiming it's butterscotch.

Oh,

that.

Okay, by the way.

Okay, that is a flavor.

Now this makes more sense because there's caramel on top.

Butterscotch candies are very grammar.

Butterscotch candies are very grandma.

Okay.

And I happen to think that vanilla ice cream and butterscotch like syrup is like the most fucking delicious thing on the planet.

Yeah.

All right, wait.

But the grandma

was like moronic.

The grandma branding

is weird.

Yeah.

I'm so hungry.

Like seriously.

Okay, well, we're almost done because it's time for Q ⁇ W.

It's time for Queenie and Weenie of the Week, our weekly segment where Jackie and I bestow the honor to two individuals, organizations, you know, pets perhaps, as either the queenie or the weenie of the week.

Of course, the weenie of the week did something weenie-like, and the queenie of the week did something queenie-like.

So let's start out positive, you know.

You want to tell me who your queenie is?

My queenie of the week is Eden Golan, Israel's Eurovision contestant.

The way she captivated my week, I am so impressed by her, enamored by her, so talented, so graceful, so poised in the face of extreme evil and hate.

And like, there's never been a more queenie-like queen that I know.

I co-sign, but I do have a different queen with queen of the week.

Because honestly, just like I'm a stickler for dates, like shh, that was last week.

Do you know what I mean?

No, your vision was on Saturday.

No, I know, I know.

But like, to me, that was last week.

But I, I agree.

She hadn't been the queenie last Friday.

Agreed, agreed.

I wasn't plugged in.

It's almost like if you do something queenie-like or weenie-like on the weekends, like, you might get a pass.

Oh, for sure.

Cause other, but like, I had her written down as queenie early in the week and nothing else this week superseded that.

For me the queenie of my week and obviously queenie and weenie of the week is so personal um and i think many weeks we would have kelly clarkson as our queenie but this week in particular like i love the way she announced her like ozempic or whatever it was journey like as in ozempic girly and also a kelly clarkson stan it was a meaningful moment and i loved it and i love her can i just say something though because i saw terry dubrow said something and i didn't click the article but i think this is what he said based on the headline which was that like i feel like she announced that she's on one of these drugs but like again she had to be like no it's not ozempic it's something else like I feel like not like it's still a little bit of the like put down of ozempo zik oh that's funny I didn't perceive it that way I perceived it that she didn't want to say the brand okay um as just like a celebrity on a network and I thought maybe there would be like a conflict of interest like NBC

Like I don't know, you know, all those companies own like for sure, but like she slammed Ozempic.

She said the name Ozempic.

Yeah, but she she just said I'm not on that one.

She didn't say it in a negative way.

She's like, I'm on a different one that does the same thing.

I could see someone maybe like having Terry Dubrow's understanding of it.

That's not how it came off to me because she was talking glowingly.

And I don't even know if my understanding of Terry Dubrow's understanding is the correct understanding, but I feel like I do.

Oh, by the way.

I feel like I do see that a lot where someone is on a GLP-1 medical pep side.

And it's like, oh, no, I'm not on Ozempic, but I'm on something else just to kind of distance themselves.

The media, the media has destroyed Ozempic.

Nobody wants to be associated with that.

All they do is make fun of it.

Right, but like, these are strong, successful people.

Like, of course.

You don't have to put it down.

Don't join the chorus.

By the way, I didn't think she was putting it down, honestly.

I didn't think so.

But I thought, but I agree, it was like a strange way of saying it.

I do see that as a trend.

Like, no, no, no, I'm not on Ozempic.

I'm on this one.

Well, a lot of people also aren't on Ozempic because they can't get it.

It's too expensive.

Semaglutide compounds are cheaper and more accessible.

So sometimes they're actually not on Ozempic.

And Ozempic has just be kind of, I think, kind of come like a word for the general use of, no one's saying I'm on a GLP-1 medication.

They're saying I'm on Ozempic, even if they're on Manjaro, you know?

Right.

It's like I'm using a band-aid, even though it's just like a bandage from Dwayne Reed.

Exactly.

Like, I'm using ketchup.

But I don't say, oh, no, I'm not using a band-aid.

I'm using a different bandage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's what I'm saying.

So, weenie of the week, you want to go first or second?

I will go first.

I think my weenie of the week is going to be pretty harsh, and people are going to think it's extreme, but I really don't.

Oh, my God.

And the more I ruminated on what happened this week, the more upset it made me.

Not upset.

That's a strong word.

Sports Illustrated.

Yeah.

Seven covers, 30 cover stars, 30, not an exaggeration.

I started to zoom in on those three evening gown covers and they were horrible.

First of all, if you want to have a bunch of icons together, get them in the same room.

I don't want to see your Canva Photoshop.

Seeing all of these amazing, gorgeous, beautiful women in some of the ugliest evening gowns I've ever seen.

Yeah, sparkly prom dresses.

No, if you want to put them in dresses, make them great, like make it a fashion moment.

If you're not a fashion magazine, go back to bikini.

Women in bathing suits.

I hated everything about this sports illustrated year of covers.

For the 60th anniversary, it was a major fucking flop.

And the more I look at the covers, the more I dislike them.

I completely agree with you.

I love that.

Thank you.

My weenie of the week.

And I don't know why.

Like, again, it might just, it's something that like hit me sideways.

It like wasn't that big of a deal.

But like I weirdly thought about it a lot.

Like, seriously, that girl who flashed her tits during the Dublin portal, like she bothered me.

The guy who spread his ass cheeks, it bothered me.

Like I'm just not one for public indecency and maybe call me a prude, whatever.

But like the fact that we weren't able to have this nice thing.

It was supposed to be a nice thing.

It got shut down.

There's like police barricading it now.

Like seriously, like eat my ass.

Yeah.

It really like I don't know why.

It really bothered me.

Yeah.

No, I could understand why.

Cause you She just like stood.

It wasn't even like she flashed her tits and put her shirt back down.

She stood there with her shirt up, jumping around, swirling her tits in the air, like for minutes.

Yeah.

She's wrong for that.

Why?

Because if you expose yourself to a crowd in Dublin, do you get arrested in Dublin?

Nope.

Well, she like no New Yorker saw her nudity.

Yes, they did.

They saw her back.

Well, if you were standing in front of the portal, you saw her front.

But only Dublin was in front of the portal.

No, no, no.

There was like, you could see her.

If you were in the 60 view.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I think Dublin should arrest her for public nudity.

I love that.

I love that.

And I love Queenie and Weenie the Week.

Drop a comment.

Who is your Queenie and Weenie of the Week?

Reminder: the toast is not going on tour.

The toast is doing live shows.

It's girly swirlies night out.

Head over to our Instagram for all the details.

But next week, tickets will go on sale.

Patreon members get access to the pre-sale.

You can become a Patreon member.

Until then, not to worry at patreon.com/slash toast.

Jackie, it's been an amazing week.

I know you have a lot going on at home between the bread and the norovirus.

So I'm wishing you well.

Thank you.

Rifawashleima to everyone and Bahat's Lacha to you.

Thank you very much.

I think it's going to be a long weekend.

I'll see you guys on Monday with the full update.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fastest stories.

You need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts and where podcasts can be found.

So it's Podified June Citroen Podcast, Radcast Postal Business,

Laytale Dead.

We are.

Love ya.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.