We Need To Talk About Jo Koy: Monday, January 8th, 2024

Good morning, Millennials.

Well, welcome back to the choice and happy Monday.

Hope everybody had a fabulous, a fantabulous, a truly gorgeous, magnanimous weekend.

Speaking of gorgeous and magnanimous,

it's Jackie.

Oh.

It is me.

Yes, it is.

It is

me.

Magnanimous.

I don't know if my weekend was magnanimous.

Mine was.

Not gonna lie.

In what way?

I saw Gypsy Rose.

Actually, your weekend was...

Do you know what magnanimous means?

Yeah.

Okay, don't be a bitch.

Yes, I know what it means.

But it was actually magnanimous in the sense that you created a piece of content with Gypsy Rose that gave back to the community.

Yeah, I feel I want to talk about the word magnanimous because it really doesn't mean what it should.

That I agree with.

To me, magnanimous looks and sounds like fabulous, wonderful, amazing, like one of the...

Magnificent.

Exactly.

And it having like a totally different meaning.

And it's also like a word I can't really define.

It's like, it's like...

Generous.

Oh, yep.

But no, I feel like it's more like it's like magnanimous you know no it's like overtly generous and gracious

yeah yeah and gracious yeah generous of spirit generous of spirit which we love generosity of spirit how did we get here and generosity of funds we love people who are generous with their funds

But we got here because your weekend was magnanimous.

Oh, yeah.

But you were saying you wouldn't say your weekend was magnanimous.

No, I would say it was amazing, wonderful, beautiful.

Magnificent?

Magnificent.

Yeah.

But magnanimous?

I can't see a way through it.

I understand.

I understand.

I think we should just like cut straight to the name on everyone's lips.

Gypsy Lou Murda.

Blanchard Saffer.

Wine Rib.

Ashre.

Shapir.

Shapir.

Yeah.

I kind of.

Blanchard Saffer.

That's what everyone's talking about.

Gypsy Lou, Blanchard Saffer.

GLB.

Blanchard X Saffer.

Yeah, Blanchard X Lou.

Gypsy Lou Blanchard.

Blanchard Lou Gypsy.

Yes.

Murda.

Saffer Shapiro Weinerip.

Ashre.

Yes.

Okay.

So I kind of broke the internet on Friday because I kind of dropped on the podcast last week that I had been invited to like an event with Gypsy Rose, but I couldn't go.

And I just left it at that.

And then as the week progressed, I was like, what are you doing?

Like it's the name on everyone's lips and isn't that where you want to be?

I think as the week progressed, like more people's lips had the name Gypsy Rose on them that I was like, I'm squandering this opportunity.

I had a birthday party and I had a Shabbat dinner and you know what?

God will wait for Gypsy Rose, you know?

Yeah.

And I told my in-laws, I was like, listen, I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't because like they were cooking at their house.

Like it was rude for me to ask to push it back an hour.

And I said, I would not be asking if it wasn't of the utmost importance.

They're like, of course, what do you have to do?

And I'm like, I have to meet convicted felon Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

And I don't think they really understood, but Ben's sister, Maddie, was like, oh my God, go.

And then I was like, do you want to come?

And she was like, yeah.

And she actually ends up taking such good content for me.

I don't know why I'm always bringing Ben places.

He takes the worst pictures and the worst videos.

Like, I will be bringing Maddie.

Here's Sheffield.

Yeah.

So like they totally understood.

And then when we got to sweat dinner, we had so much to talk about.

So Gypsy actually brought my family together.

She's bringing a lot of families together with her new docuseries, with a lot of the content that she's doing.

So she had this little gypsy soiree.

She had a very intimate, like, it was a very quick red carpet and just a cocktail party for close friends and family.

I couldn't stay for the cocktail party because again, I had to bought dinner.

But like when I say small, like there was maybe 20 people there.

Oh, nice.

Well, you got to interview our girl.

I did.

I got to chat with her briefly before.

It was like very crazy.

I've met famous people before and it's always very thrilling and very exciting, but there was something different about this because she's really not a typical traditional celebrity.

She is, like I said, a convicted felon and a conspiracy and a murder

and a murder.

So it was like a different level of

glamour, you know?

Yeah.

And I've seen a lot of discourse online.

A lot of people are talking about, you know, Gypsy Rose.

And a lot of people are saying, you know, they feel really bad that like she's gotten out of prison and she's just being exploited by the media and by all these, you know, bad faith actors who are just making her do all this press and yada yada.

Now, I want to give my opinion, as somebody who saw it up close,

I felt as though, yes, you know, it's very dystopian what's going on.

Like she got out of prison and she's a celebrity and she has a glam team and it's crazy.

But seeing it in person, it was, it was different.

And it's important to, you know, understand the context of what Gypsy is doing is she's doing a press tour with Lifetime.

Lifetime, I think, you know, snatched her up in prison, got her in a contract, and they're the only ones who can really, you know, make her do or say anything.

And all the girls who work for Lifetime, who were like handling Gypsy, are toasters.

I met all of them.

They are amazing.

They love Gypsy.

Like they care about her.

They're not exploiting her like in the slightest.

Like Gypsy's very much in control.

And I think she's surrounded by like good people.

And the only people who were at the screening were like friends and family of Gypsy, the Lifetime Girlies, the people who worked on the docu series who are all very close with Gypsy, and like three influencers, just like for press.

It really wasn't like this big crazy thing.

Like I think she's being really well taken care of by the lifetime girlies and knowing that they're toasters, like she's, she's good, you know?

yeah what about the husband yeah the husband was there um so actually so many like i really am not like an awkward or nervous person but like i felt really shy and like i really

i didn't know what to say and so i'm standing with ben sisters maddie and the first person who comes out is the husband and he's like standing right in front of us i'm like i want to say something but like i don't even know what to say what is there to say maddie she takes the reins she goes ryan congrats because i forgot he just got married and like she really opened the door for the conversation i was like so grateful because I was like, I honestly didn't even know what I was going to say.

I was like, oh, like, how does it feel to be wearing a wedding ring?

You know, it was like very like corny surface level conversation.

But she opened the door, which was great.

And then, you know, Gypsy, the main event, she was breathtaking.

She was not at all what I imagined she'd be like.

I guess, you know, you have certain expectations of someone who, you know,

for the, basically her entire life never had any normal social life.

Like you wouldn't think she'd really be able.

I don't know why I just thought like she wouldn't be able to like talk you know yeah but she can talk and she's extremely articulate and very sweet and very soft-spoken um

and we made a great piece of content together and i had a great time and i'm so glad i rearranged my plans and most importantly she gave some really great advice because i think the question on everyone's lips was like what's gypsy got and i want to give a shout out because i was told that i would be able to do like a quick interview with gypsy and they had to you know approve the questions and so i called jax and i'm like jax what do i ask gypsy and the question about relationships and dating, which was the best, funniest question, was Jackie's question.

The channel's fifth one was obviously me.

It's the question that was, it was bubbling under the surface all of last week because it's like, we need dating tips and dating advice from Gypsy Rose Blanchard, the man, the girl who would get a man to do anything for her.

The girl who got married in prison, like gypsies in prison and getting married, like, what's your excuse?

No, it's so true.

Like, and what is that secret sort of, you know, thing, that gene sequoiqua, that gypsy's genes sequa.

Like, what is it?

and she told you i asked her straight up i'm like gypsy what is your secret like you get men like who ride i didn't say ride or die but you know it was implied i said you get like men who ride for you how do you and she just said be yourself be the queen that you are and the queen that you are and he will be your king

obsessed be the queen that you are and he will be your king and then another sort of shocking revelation and breakthrough from my interview with gypsy rose bledshard was um her favorite song off of Midnights.

You know, we know she's a huge Swifty.

Gypsy, that's the thing about Gypsy.

Just when you think,

oh, Gypsy, sweet and innocent, like she's just like this doe-eyed, novel.

She hits you with the karma.

Yeah, her favorite song is Karma, which

just leads me to believe, like,

like Gypsy's in on what's going on.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, she, like, we all think, like, oh, like, Gypsy doesn't.

Gypsy knows what's going on.

No, literally, karma was her boyfriend karma was a god

her boyfriend was karma

no actually i think karma was like

taking her mother's life when her mother just sort of abused her which her boyfriend did oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he was the vehicle he was the vehicle was the physical manifestation yeah of karma yeah

yeah

so and i have to say

There are certain moments in my life, my career, where like I pick up my phone and like everyone I know is texting texting me being like, congrats or being like, what was that like?

This, Jackie

was another level.

Like it was

insane.

People DMing me, like every person of somewhat notoriety who follows me sending me a message being like, how the fuck?

And I just want to thank the girlies at lifetime for including me because like there was literally three people allowed in there and I was one of them.

So I was grateful.

I'm really happy for you.

And yeah, it just goes to show the name on everybody's lips is Gypsy Rose.

It's been Gypsy rose and i think it will be gypsy rose for a while i think so too her show is coming out i saw some headlines like a lot of news and information from the show she went on vio file right so it's like all this press the show hasn't even come out yet and her first major like

long

form interview isn't even out yet it came out today so it's like i think there'll be way more news for gypsy

yeah So we'll keep, we will keep you posted.

We will.

The goings and comings of Gypsy Rose, Blanchard, Oshre Soffer, Weinerp Shapiro.

Lou.

Lou.

So that's like pretty much the summation of my weekend.

I did other stuff.

I watched football.

I finished my book for a book club.

I went to karaoke, but really it all pales in comparison to GRB.

Now, how was your weekend?

My weekend was good.

I'm trying to recall everything that I did.

Lots of kids stuff, lots of sleepless nights.

A dream.

Not too much

to share with the class.

And how are my children?

They're good.

They miss their anti-coja.

Obsessed.

Like,

having spent so much time with them, like many days in a row, which I never really get, you know, for two and a half weeks.

It's, it's hard to go back to life as is, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's as simple and as complicated as that.

And keeping tabs on my baby boy stry sand.

How is baby boy streisand?

I don't know if you've really updated the crew on like baby boy streisand having some health issues and it's like freaking us out because we're obviously like scarred.

We're scarred and a lot of the things he's doing is giving deja vu.

It's like really similar.

Right, but it could be a lot of different things.

And it's, so I don't want to, he's going to the doctor this week.

So hopefully I'll have more information soon.

But the good news is that on the inside, he's being more himself.

Like his personality is returning.

I feel like he's getting his personality back.

He's giving Kylie Jenner postpartum.

On the outside, he's still, you know, a little limpy and not jumping like.

to the great heights that he used to but he's he's jumping on the bed more and taking more chances i do So it's just, it could be a number of different things, and I'll wait to see what it is.

I'm just smothering him with love, which is all I could do.

Have you considered playing Taking Chances by Silly Dion for him on a speaker of some sort so that the message could really resonate and

digest?

I haven't, but I'll run it by his doctor tomorrow and see if he thinks that'll just

one of those like alternative therapies that a lot of traditional doctors like would turn their nose up at.

However, I have heard amazing results.

Okay.

What?

I was going to say something crazy.

What?

It didn't work for Theo?

You're a bitch.

You're disgusting.

I didn't say it.

You said it.

No, you.

Jackie, you literally said it with your eyes.

Like, shut up.

There are other ways of saying things, you know?

And you're

saying them.

And you're disgusting.

And Theo is looking down on you in shame.

And I'm looking at my Theo pillow, sending prayers up to do.

We love you.

We miss you.

Every single day, do.

And I'm looking at my brew pillow and saying, your mother is disgusting.

Wow.

after the wow i didn't even say it you said it and you don't even know that's what i was gonna say yes i do you literally confirmed no i didn't i chuckled because it was a funny thing for you to say

you confirmed

no i don't think i did okay so what were you gonna say i forgot by now yeah

wait also today's gonna be a great day because you know as much as we pretend it's not this is a pop culture show even though it's like really about us and last night was a big night in pop culture there's like a lot to talk about from the golden Globes.

And I watched all of it.

I didn't even, I have all the stories up.

I don't even know how many stories are, if I have like four others.

Mostly it's Golden Globes because there's like kind of like three things that could be their own stories that are going on.

Yeah, can I guess?

Sure.

Joe Koi's monologue.

What the hell were Selena and Taylor gossiping about?

That's a subset of part two, which is just Taylor Globes.

Taylor at the Globes.

Okay.

And three.

Kylie and Timmy.

Kylie and Timmy.

No, I can't wait to talk.

Like, I actually can't remember.

It's so crazy because as of like two years ago, the Golden Globes went out of business.

They were like not going to be on TV anymore because nobody cared.

And then I think some, you know, someone in Hollywood, they made it happen.

They got him back.

So this is like a defunct show that is really in the grand scheme of award shows, like the least relevant.

It's not even a part of EGOT.

The G doesn't stand for Golden Globes.

It stands for Grammy.

And it ended up being so fabulous.

So many people showed up.

And it was really like a very relevant, culturally, and culturally relevant evening, which the Golden Clubs really never is.

I had zero intention of watching.

I haven't turned my TV on since last year.

And then you sent me the monologue.

And I was like, oh, you know what?

I think it's recorded because I think Zach had it on in the living room.

So I was like, let me just go watch it.

And some of the monologue was missing, but then I just like kept catching up.

And I was like, you know what?

I'll just...

fast forward through the show and like get the major moments.

So I wound up watching most of it.

Me too.

More so so that I could have something to have some thoughts, but also once I saw like Kylie was there.

Yeah, no, it just ended up being like a very fabulously attended event.

And I was like, oh, this is what we need to be talking about on the show.

So I watched the whole thing.

And I only knew it was on because I was watching football on CBS.

And then when the game ended, they went straight to the Golden Globes.

And the game that I was watching was the Giants, like not really a very good team versus the Eagles.

People think they're going to be the Super Bowl.

Oh, they literally won like by 30 points.

The Giants.

So who won the conference?

Dallas, I believe.

Yeah,

that's what I saw, but you couldn't mention it, which is weird.

Yeah, like yesterday's game for the Eagles and the Cowboys,

it had a lot of importance on the standings, the seeds.

The seeds.

So not only, I think Dallas needed to win,

and they would have made it number one, but the fact that Dallas won and the Eagles lost put the Eagles in like fifth place or some shit like that.

I saw the commenter saying like, really

not good for the Eagles.

So like, does this, are they like in their redemption era or are they just like not going to be in the Super Bowl?

I'm feeling like not the Super Bowl.

No, I think it's going to be the Niners and the Ravens.

Like two people, everyone was like Chiefs, Eagles, Chiefs, Eagles.

Nobody was, some people were saying 49ers.

But now it's like, now that the dust has settled, look who like kept their heads down this season and just worked.

The Niners and you know what?

The Ravens.

Not the Cowboys.

No, I'm sorry.

I don't think somebody else, actually, it was your husband.

What is he?

Who's a big Cowboys fan.

And so I was talking to him about it.

He was saying that like, based on their record, like they won against

all the bad teams and like lost against all the good teams like they don't have like a they have a winning record but not like a winner's record got it that makes sense yeah i feel like they're always losing sorry zach it's just every time i'm like poking in yeah i don't think they're like a super bowl team but i'm glad to see they're doing better than they've been doing maybe one day and your husband really holds on to like that slogan that the cowboys have they're america's team he's always saying that yeah okay and i was asking him i was like why do you say that because like they're not.

And he was like, well, because, you know, it's, you know, Texas.

And there was like, you know, a few years in a row in the 80s where they won.

And so they were labeled America's team.

I'm like, okay, so in the 80s, they were America's team.

I wouldn't say that they're America's team right now.

Honestly, I think I would say the Chiefs are America's team.

I would say so, too.

They just sort of like branded themselves like America's team trademark, you know?

Yeah, no, and it's like, just because you say it doesn't make it true.

But it's also because the name is the Cowboys.

It's very It's American.

And they're fabulous.

And I actually was just reading a statistic that it's the franchise that's worth the most money in all of the leagues.

So it's like, yeah, I get it.

They're impressive.

But at this current juncture, I just don't believe them to be America's team.

That's not to say they're not fabulous people, but it's just not true.

Maybe they could be America's team again.

Yeah, and maybe that should be like a goal, like on their vision board.

Aspiring American team.

AAT.

AAT.

I think they play at ATT.

So that works.

Aspiring team.

Yeah.

Love that.

AAT at ATT.

So

lots going on in the football sphere because, you know, playoffs are coming up.

Aaron Rodgers, like, I think he just decided, like, let me just save all my energy for next season.

Because it was like, it was fruitless.

The Jets record was so bad.

It's like, what, you're going to come back early and maybe fuck up your leg just for what?

Don't do it, Aaron.

But by the way, we got some more clarity on the Aaron Jimmy Kimmel thing.

Have you been seeing?

I have.

Cause we were basically saying, like, all right, so what Aaron Rodgers said wasn't factually true.

Jimmy Kimmel like came from, but like, what is this beef?

And we didn't even say what's the beef.

We said, like, why would Aaron say something if it's so untrue?

And Jimmy's like, this is so untrue.

I'm going to sue you.

So, like, why would he say this out of nowhere?

But apparently, the two of them have been like sparring for a while.

Like, Barbs back and forth.

Jimmy's like, always coming for Aaron.

He started with like anti-vax stuff.

But then there was other, something more recently where he made a comment about Epstein's list and made a comment about like Aaron Rodgers.

Not about him being on the list, but that like

something.

I don't know.

Not about them being associated, but just like whatever.

And so

Aaron just

jibed back at him.

Oh, I stand with Aaron.

You don't start something.

You can't fucking finish.

Don't start something, Jimmy Kimmel, and then be like, I'm going to call a lawyer.

Like, okay.

No, and also it's like, he didn't say you're on the list and you're a pedophile.

Like, he said you might be like worried about the list coming out.

And that could mean a lot of things.

That could mean because your friends are on it.

That could mean because you would have to report on powerful people doing

things.

Aaron said something and left it open to interpretation.

He just said that you're like a little, you're quaking a little.

And he was also just like messing with you because you guys mess with each other.

Yes.

So after, upon further investigation into the Aaron Rodgers, Jimmy Kimmel feud, what I learned was that Jimmy Kimmel started it.

So you really can't complain and like cry lawyers when you started this shit.

Sorry.

Yeah.

No, extreme weenie behavior that we will be keeping in consideration on Friday.

I actually was thinking, first of all, I think weenie of the week episode one like went over so well.

I think we're going to continue to do it.

I need to start keeping a list because things throughout the week like make me giggle and I'm like, oh, that's weenie behavior.

And I need to write them down.

Okay.

So right now, Jimmy Kimmel.

If no one else acts out this week, like it could be his, but I feel, I have a feeling.

Yeah, because it's the beginning of the week.

And actually, Jimmy Kimmel was really like last week.

But we just found out about it this week, you know?

Yeah, yeah, but it doesn't matter.

Weenie need of the week is, you know, an eternal, timeless venture.

No, Weenie of the Week, we're like on our own timeline with, you know?

It's the weenie is my week.

Our thing.

We literally invented it.

So it's like about our week and when we learned about something.

Right.

Someone else.

And this is, by the way, our show, so fuck off.

I think we're yelling.

We're yelling at like nobody.

Nobody.

You're the one who called us out for it being last week.

But someone else who's in the running for Weenie of the Week, which will be a great segue into us finally getting into the stories oh he's on my list is joe coy yeah i feel very conflicted about it and i'll tell you why so let's dive in without further ado to do it do here are the fast five ish stories i need to organize them mostly golden globe stuff that you need to know on this monday okay i'm not going to repeat that because i don't even know what you said but the fast the shit that jackie just said is brought to you by a brand new sponsor we've got dermologica which i'm really excited about their dalo daily microfoliant is a favorite among dermologica fans so Dermologica is like just a fabulous brand.

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Welcome.

Our first story, Golden Globes recap, Joe Koy edition.

I just pulled up my notes.

I like wrote down like a bunch of things I want to talk about.

So last night was the Golden Globes Awards.

Joe Koy was the host.

He gave a monologue wherein a couple jokes bombed and he turned to the audience and said, I got the gig 10 days ago.

You want a perfect monologue?

He said, some I wrote, some other people wrote.

I wrote some of these and they're the ones you're laughing at.

Yeah.

So that also said, said, yo, shut up.

Yeah.

About halfway through the monologue, he just like had a breakdown and then went on with it.

And then after the breakdown, if like a joke went well or didn't go well, he would be like, I wrote that one or I read that one.

And I just feel like a big no-no as like

a comedian, but also as just like a person in the industry.

It's like, you never throw the writers under the bus.

Like that's a surefire way to like never get booked for anything ever again.

Like you just, you don't, you don't do that.

Why?

I didn't know that.

And that, I guess, is a good rule of thumb, but I also feel like it's kind of like blaming some, like anonymous someone.

You could always say, oh, it was the writers.

And it's like, we don't know who the writers were.

And then it just takes accountability off of you.

But I didn't know, but it's just like, you just don't do that.

Like you, you just don't.

So halfway through, he had this breakdown.

Up until that point, like, was it going amazing?

No.

Now, a lot of people are like, Joe Koi, it's like the, the big discourse is like, did Joe Koi bomb?

And I just don't really feel like that should be what we were talking about.

Like, was he good?

Even before the breakdown, like, were the jokes good?

Were they landing?

No, they really, it wasn't amazing.

But, like,

is it ever good?

Like, no.

Like, it wouldn't have been.

Nobody would be talking about it if he didn't have this breakdown.

I think what made it so much worse was that he acknowledged that it wasn't true.

Because I would have just thought, like, oh, it's unfunny.

These things are rarely funny.

And I would have just been like, you know, these are kind of the jokes that they made him say.

But like, I would just have thought like maybe we just can't hear the laughter yeah i thought that too at first but him

you know pulling the curtain down and being like i wrote this one they wrote that one this i got booked for this two weeks ago like yeah it was so awkward and if he had not mentioned it i just would have been like oh another unfunny thing in hollywood but like the fact that he drew attention to it and he was so aware of every single joke and its reception, it was extremely awkward.

Yeah.

And like bombing is just a part of the job.

It's really not a big deal.

And I think like the difference is like when you're bombing, like, I have bombed many times, like, you just pretend everything's going amazing.

Like, you're, of course, you just live, you live in delusion land, and like, that's fine.

And you just hope like everybody's going to go along with it.

There's a difference between like bombing, you know, in the regular comedy circuit and like the Golden Globes where by the way, you have the jokes written for you by a team of writers.

Everybody's putting their heads together on this.

It's on a teleprompter.

It's like it sometimes a bomb.

I imagine as a comedian, it's like, you know, the energy's off you.

You don't have to deliver the way.

Like, this is very

proof.

It's kind of like a, an amazing gig to get, especially for someone like Joe Koi, who's not like a Jimmy Kimmel.

He's not on TV all the time.

Like some people know him, but some people don't.

And when you literally get the opportunity to have all the jokes written for you, you have two weeks to prepare.

You don't have to memorize.

It's all in a teleprompter.

It's really like a golden opportunity to expand your fan base, to take your career to another level.

And so the fact that it wasn't going well, like, sucks.

It really does.

And honestly, I didn't feel like the people in the room, like they should have just laughed more.

Like, it's just the polite thing to do, honestly.

No, some of the jokes were kind of,

I don't want to say the word offensive because

that's what I want to get into.

But they were like, they were not only unfunny, but I don't know.

If you're, if your joke includes the word cellulite, like take another look at it.

Yes.

So that's the other element.

So and that's where he started to break down.

The Barbie Oppenheimer, where he started this up, that's where he broke down.

Up until that point, like I think people could have just thrown him a bone, like it's a hard job, just been like, ha ha ha, like for real.

Like it wasn't, he hadn't said anything offensive up until that point.

Then came Barbie.

And me and Ben were just having this conversation because Ben is a big hater of the Barbie movie.

And like Ben is getting roasted canceled online because they're like, you don't get it.

You're the exact reason the Barbie movie was made.

There is something about the Barbie movie.

It reminds me a lot of the conversation we had about working from home after the pandemic, a seemingly, you know, innocuous topic of conversation.

that has become like a political, like a polarizing thing.

The Barbie movie is one of those things where like you cannot critique the Barbie movie without people saying you hate women.

Now, I am a woman and I do hate women, but that doesn't change the fact that I did not like the Barbie movie.

Like, that doesn't mean that I didn't get it.

It just means that people like different things.

And I actually, I didn't even dislike it.

I sat through the whole thing.

It was like enjoyable.

I didn't think it was amazing.

I didn't.

It was like fun and cute and pretty to watch.

And

the music was good.

And Margarabi was great.

And

there were parts of it that I liked.

What about the message?

I don't know what the message is.

I didn't see it.

Do you like the message or did you not like the message?

That's the thing.

And I don't think I'm a dumb person.

Like I didn't really fully understand what I was supposed to be taking away from the film.

And that's why I felt like it failed.

So the Barbie movie is like weirdly this like hot topic.

Protected class.

It's a protected class.

Like you can't critique it.

So we knew that whatever anyone was going to say about the Barbie movie, if it was that 1000% complimentary, like would have been critiqued.

This happened to have been just like a really bad joke, like, especially given the sensitive nature of.

But we can take the whole, you know, Barbie protection out of it.

The joke was horrible, and it wasn't about Barbie, big boobies, and then cellulite and flat feet.

Like,

it's offensive to those of us who critique Barbie movie.

It's true.

To put loop this in with Barbie movie critique.

1,000%.

And when you think about, like, I feel like we've been talking for the whole year about how like Barbenheimer, two more, like movies couldn't be more different and they are happening at the same time and it's like this crazy cultural moment.

Like there were so many jokes to be made that were like kind of like more obvious and more funny.

And this one, like I like, I didn't really like know where it came from.

No, it was really bad.

And he also made fun of Oppenheimer and you know, that was also a bad joke.

Unfunny.

And then there was the Martin Scorsese joke.

What was the joke?

So it was about Killers of the Flower Moon, which I can't lie.

I don't know what it's about, but I believe it deals with, you know, indigenous people.

And so he was like, wow, what I learned from Killers of the Flower Moon is like white people stole even more than I thought that they stole.

They stole land, they stole this, but they also stole the plot of the movie.

The premise of the movie.

So does that mean that there was no premise?

Or did like somebody else come up with the premise of the movie and Martin Scorsese like copied it?

Well, it's based on a book.

Oh,

that's the joke.

Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah.

Because it's not like they came up with this premise for a movie.

It shouldn't be worth it for a movie.

It's so hard to understand these jokes.

And then I feel like also people could say, you know, it's such a hard job.

It shouldn't be such a hard job for a funny person.

That room is rife with comedic material.

I mean, Ricky Gervais, Ricky Gervais.

And but Ricky Gervais is like in another

stratosphere.

But like if you're a funny person, there's plenty of funny things, funny fun.

Yeah.

No, no, I mean it's a hard job because everyone, even if you do your best, like everyone has something to say.

It's like a thankless job.

And it's an amazing opportunity, but it's hard.

It's a very intimidating room.

I know those things, but in, but to write the jokes, you have 10 day to write jokes.

Like that's your skill set.

Yeah.

Is writing jokes.

Like

do a flip.

Yeah.

No, and you have, you know, the best writers in the world at your disposal.

And

yeah.

It shouldn't be impossible to get a decently funny monologue that people in the room want to laugh at.

And in so many ways, I feel like it was like so, like, and this article said this too.

It's like it was very soft, you know, like

not, you know, not really

gun in for anyone.

And then he, there were a couple of like nasty zingers.

Yeah, it's true.

Like, the, um,

I mean, I think this Scott laughs, but the Robert De Niro had you get her pregnant at 80.

Yeah.

Megan Markle gets paid.

He went so hard on Megan and Harry, they weren't even there.

That was weird.

That's true.

And then Taylor Swift.

Okay, I want to talk about Taylor Swift because I think the community needs to come down.

Like I

literally, like the joke wasn't, was so basic, like seriously.

One, two, like it wasn't offensive.

It wasn't funny.

It wasn't offensive.

It was just like a commentary.

Like, ha ha, they show her a lot.

She didn't seem offended.

No, she was not happy.

Oh, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I think she was.

Oh, I don't know.

She was not happy.

I disagree completely.

What did you read it as?

I just read it as being like, oh, yeah, they do that to me.

Like, I honestly, like, I thought, I think the whole thing was the biggest nothing burger and everybody needs to calm down.

No, she was not happy.

Was I

telling my life

that she was like completely fine with it?

Claudia, did you see her phase?

That's not what she did.

She was like being kitschy and tongue-in-cheek and like took a drink.

Like, and by the way, and Kelly Taylor sitting next to her, if you read her lips, she goes, cheers, bitch.

Like.

I think they actually liked the joke.

Maybe they had like a drinking game for every time there was going to be a joke about Taylor.

I think literally literally they actually liked the joke.

I think people are like reading far too much into it.

No, no, no.

I think you're reading into it more by like looking past the

there was no like no, you guys, that's Taylor.

Like I'm telling you, she didn't care.

Claudia, she was big mad.

No way.

No, she wasn't.

That's how I read it.

It literally wasn't even a bad joke.

No, and Joe Coy was doing like such basic losery humor.

I literally thought he was going to be like, oh, look at how many boyfriends Taylor Swift Swift has.

Like, I thought like that she would be mad at because we know she hates those types of jokes.

This like honestly was harmless.

It was harmless.

It wasn't, it wasn't.

It wasn't an offensive joke, but she didn't like it.

No, I'm telling you she didn't care.

I'm telling you she didn't like it.

Rewatch through my POV, okay?

Okay, let me see if I can pull it up.

But like I watched it with, you know,

open eyes, like not like hoping that I feel like anytime someone says a joke about you, even if you wind up being offensive, offended afterwards, like in the moment, you're just like, like, it's your reflex to be like, huh, yeah, me.

And then you think about it, you're like, oh, fuck that.

But she was like not having it.

I actually feel like Taylor knew the joke was coming.

Like, they told her about it because she was like ready to go with her drink.

Or maybe she just likes to drink a girl after my own heart.

But why would, why would that be the face that she pulls?

If she wasn't.

Because I know she was basically saying like no comment.

Like, like, no.

No, I'm telling you.

I think everybody's reading it the wrong way and I'm reading it it right.

She was giving, she was saying eye roll.

No, she wasn't.

She wasn't.

Okay, sound off in the comments.

Did Taylor like the joke?

No, what I thought was really interesting was that they had like a bunch of presenting duos who did like their own little monologues.

Everybody did like a little sketch.

No, not sketch.

Skit.

Yeah.

And I found myself.

chuckling many times, thus proving that the writers for the Golden Globes were actually funny.

Yeah, and it can be done.

You can make the people in the room laugh, and you can make the people at home laugh.

No, but like Joe Coi kept saying throughout his monologue, like, they're making me read these jokes, like mine are the ones you're laughing at.

When actually, based on what I saw throughout the rest of the night, the jokes written for, you know, Jean-Batiste and Andrew Day, two people who are not comedians nor comedy writers, they're musicians.

Oh, me and Ben were cackling.

Like

the suits guys, like that was funny.

Yeah.

There were many funny moments and the writers did a good job, which led me to to believe that the bad jokes for Joe Coi were Joe Coi's jokes.

But also, like, if someone writes you a bad joke and you're the one who has to go out there and say it, and you're

a collaboration.

Right.

You're lead comedian on it, though, because you're the one who has to, it's your face if something falls flat, like, or if someone gets offended, like it's you that they are upset with.

So if people are writing you bad jokes that you don't like, you can say, I'm not going to say that.

I don't want to say that.

That's not a good joke.

It's, it's a process.

It's not just like, here are the jokes said and you've got to say them and you can put in half of them can be yours, but you you have to like where's the accountability of like oh I chose this one even though I didn't write it myself, but like I thought this was a good idea.

Yeah, I mean it was obviously a really bad showing for Jokoy in terms of like

skill but I think it was worse it was a worse showing for him as like a team player and like I just don't I can't see him really ever being hired to work with comedy writers for something like

he just he looked like a sore like sour puss loser.

Yeah.

No, it was a bad look for for him.

Right.

So, like, for me, it's not even so much about the bombing, like the jokes not landing.

It's just about how you reacted to it.

Yeah.

And how you behaved.

Jokes Not Landing is part for the course at the Golden Globes.

Yeah, no, it's just like, that's what being a comedian is all about.

Like, you win some, you lose some.

But to like throw a temper tantrum on the world's biggest stage when you've been given this opportunity, he's probably

the least famous person to have gotten the job.

Like, a lot of people haven't heard of Joe Coi.

Yeah.

I only know him as Chelsea Hammers.

Chelsea Hammers.

So it's like a, it's a really big deal.

And

he just,

he shit the bed.

Yeah, and it's like, I didn't see this and be like, oh, I want to go see Joe Coy when he comes to my town.

Live, yeah.

Joe Koi tickets near me.

So that was

unique.

Unique.

Our next bit of news from the Golden Globes was Taylore and her presence and her dress and her

everything she did, including her reaction to the joke, which we've discussed.

But she showed up with her best friend, Kelly Sperry.

They walked in together.

It's Jay.

She's married.

It's Kelly Teller.

Yeah, but you know, I'm a feminist.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, me too.

We love the Barbie movie.

They were gabbing all night long.

Selena came over to tell them a bit of gossip, and everyone's just talking about Taylor.

Also, her dress was giving reputation.

Okay, like, I hate when people like look into her outfits as to like what her next career move is.

Like, and maybe, maybe Taylor does do that.

And that's why maybe Taylor's style like isn't amazing because she's focusing on like the Easter egg within the dress, not whether the dress looks good.

But this dress looks good.

So last night it felt like for the first time, like maybe she wasn't thinking about Easter eggs.

She was thinking about fashion.

And she looked so incredible.

And it's just, we're so like desperate for sleighs from Taylor.

And she really, she doesn't deliver, most of the time her outfits are not offensive.

They're not bad, but they're not amazing.

They're just decent.

They're good.

Yeah.

And last night we got a great dress and it was really, really exciting.

Yeah.

And I'm really grateful.

But did you see the reputation in it?

Yeah, she wasn't wearing a red lip, which, you know, reputation is the only album where her vibe doesn't include a red lip.

So I just thought she wasn't wearing a red lip because she was wearing a green dress and she would have looked like Christmas.

She would have, but if she wasn't promoting reputation, she would have worn a different dress and a red lip.

Like, right, but also if she was promoting reputation, her bangs would be up.

No,

that's like the only album cover where her bangs are up.

That's what people say.

But during the era, she had bangs, side bangs.

No bangs.

No, but they're like.

Yeah, just in the album cover, you mean.

Yeah.

Yeah, but the era as a whole isn't bangless.

Yeah, and maybe like she was like, okay, maybe I didn't have my bangs for the cover, but I'm going to wear my bangs because like I make the rules.

It's my life.

No, it's true.

And also, like, not only was she wearing her bangs last night, like her bangs were banging.

They were like big bangs.

Yeah.

No, she was.

Sometimes they're like swept to the side.

These were like full fringe forehead covering bangs.

Oh, wow.

You're saying forehead now?

You know what's so funny?

I'm so glad you brought that up because I said it yesterday too about something else to Ben.

And it's like, I have to remind myself before saying the word to pronounce it correctly.

It's not like it naturally comes to me because if I'm naturally going to say it, it's forehead.

I'm just really getting sick and tired of people like coming, like making fun of me.

But La Tour de Lou, as we've stated, like, this is your show, your pronunciations.

You're going to be.

Actually, I'm sorry.

That's not the reason.

I don't know why I said that.

Okay.

The reason is like I now know that it's wrong and it's like, okay, so I'll say it right.

You know what I mean?

For me, it's one of those words.

It's like mahjijan where I'll stop and be like, wait, I'm going to say it right.

And then I still can't, like, dachshund.

Like,

it's so not innate to say it that way.

Okay, sorry.

I'll go back to saying it the regular way.

Yeah, thank you.

So her, we didn't see any farhead from Taylor.

No, no farhead was seen.

So much better.

So yeah, it looks like she had enjoyed her night.

She didn't win her award.

Which movie made more money at the box office?

That's a good question.

When they were saying the category, I was like, okay, obviously, like, Taylor's going to win.

And when we talked on the toast about how they introduced this new category, I was like, oh, they literally introduced it so they could give Taylor's fifth a Golden Globe.

Like, it was just so obvious.

And the Golden Globes, which I appreciated, like, the people who should have won won.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, I didn't feel like last night they were just going rogue and giving it to the person you never heard of.

Like, it was the people who were the most famous and the shows that were the most popular.

Like, thank you.

So I felt like they were obviously going to give it to Taylor.

And then they gave it to Barbie.

And at first I was like, what the fuck?

And then I was like, wait, sorry.

No.

Like, Barbie literally reinvented the movies this year.

Like, they did that.

Not only were the box office numbers unreal, but it brought people back into the theaters really for the first time since COVID.

People were dressing up.

It was this full affair.

The marketing, like, it really, I'm sorry, it deserved the award over Taylor.

And it took them winning for me to realize that.

Yeah, I agree with that.

And also, like, it's kind of the only award they're qualified to win because it's the only award that they won.

And the song.

When did it end?

Holy enjoyment.

Yeah.

But like, yeah, they weren't winning any serious awards.

So they kind of actually invented this award so they could give it to Barbie.

Barbie.

So true.

So that Barbie could win something and have a reason to be there.

I didn't realize, and I was really shocked when they did the awards, that Jennifer Lawrence was nominated for that movie where

The Rom-com.

No hard feelings.

Yeah.

I'm shocked by that.

Was nobody else?

It's shocking, but it is a comedy category.

Yeah.

I'm sure they just wanted her at their event.

Because she's fabulous.

She's so gorgina.

Like, it's literally disgusting.

Yeah.

Speaking of someone who's so gorgina.

Wait, sorry.

The last thing I want to say about Taylor that everyone's talking about.

Oh, the gossip sesh.

So

footage and photos started to come out as the night was happening of Selena Gomez going over to Taylor Swift's table and like...

appeared to be delivering this enormous piece of gossip to Taylor and Kelly Taylor.

And like Taylor's shocked and everyone's like, oh.

And then people start reading lips.

And the first thing that comes out that people are reading is Selena says something, which we can't see because Selena's back is to us.

And then Kelly Teller responding, what appears to

she says, with Timothy?

So people are freaking, and everybody's looking for an angle from the other side where we get Taylor and Kelly's backs and Selena's fronts.

Well, Taylor knows well enough to cover her mouth.

She's the only one who did.

I thought that was so interesting how Taylor's like such a professional and like so clearly used to her privacy being invaded that she was gossiping.

And even in the moment when she wanted to like say something, just she knew to cover her mouth and whisper it in selena's ears no all eyes are always on her think of her at a football game she doesn't have one moment where her lips aren't being red like she knows to cover her mouth it was so like the fact that that was her instinct i thought was really crazy right but i really appreciate the fact that kelly didn't because we have this crumb because kelly's one of us okay thank you kelly yeah so did did we ever get the other angle of like what selena was saying we did and a lot of people like claim that they saw selena say that she went over to timothy chalamay and wanted to take a photo and kylie said no and you you know, for those who don't know, Kylie, I mean, Timothy and Selena are long friends.

They were in a Woody Allen movie together many, many years ago.

We watched that movie.

We just watched it recently.

Rainy Day in New York.

In New York.

It's a great movie.

So they know each other.

And I'm sure it's like, you know, Selena's very friendly.

She's not weird.

Like, she wants to take a picture and like, for sure, post it on her Instagram because she's like cute like that.

Like, not a big deal.

And people claim that when she went over to talk to Kelly and...

Taylor, she said that Kylie told her that they couldn't take a picture.

Now, Selena has since responded, literally being like, get off my dick.

I didn't say that.

Can you guys leave me the fuck alone?

That's literally what she said.

Get off my dick.

And why would Kelly respond to that with Timothy?

Like, I thought that Selena was going over to tell them that Kylie was there because like that would be something that

Taylor would want to know.

And then Kelly goes, wait, with Timothy?

Okay, so to go back to your prior point, this is how I think the conversation could have went.

And Kelly would have said with Timothy, okay?

Like, because Kelly at first like wasn't really listening and then she like hopped in because she like heard some good tea.

And so maybe, maybe when she hopped in, she heard, heard and Kylie said that I couldn't take a picture with him with Timothy.

I got, oh my gosh, Taylor, beware, Kylie Jenner is here.

Kylie, Taylor knew that with Timothy, no, but Kylie didn't walk the carpet.

Oh, true.

How would she know she's across the room?

And I feel like you can't text it because people can see your phones.

Like, the hammer could pick it up.

Yes, yes, you can't text.

These are two very good options.

Like, I really want to know what she said.

said.

Like, a lot of times people get so bogged down, being like, I wonder what those two people are talking about.

Like, when there was that picture of Taylor and Harry Styles at the Grammys, yeah, I would love to know what they were talking about.

This, like, I, not only do I, would I love to know, like, I need to know, like, on a diabolical level, I need to know what these people were talking about.

Yeah.

It's killing me.

Yeah.

And it's killing me that I'll never find out.

It couldn't have been too crazy because they were saying it like in public.

They do use cameras.

There's plenty.

There's so many people around.

And the person who was filming them like, is invisible distance.

Like, I don't think it was.

I don't think the tea was that hot.

They would have gone to the bathroom, like, if it was that crazy.

Yeah.

Or, like, wait until the after party or texted under the table.

No, it's so true.

But to people whose conversation we can lip read.

No, I'm obsessed with this story.

Our next story, Kylie Jenner and Timothy Chalamet share sweet kisses and I love you, so it seems, during their date night at the Golden Globe.

No, not so it seems.

Like, they just, they said it.

Okay, so some amazing cinematographer who deserves an Oscar for what he or she captured

captured Timothy.

She.

Oh, that was so filmed through the female gaze.

Like I was giving

the key to me.

It felt like a man who didn't even know what he was doing.

No, Jackie.

Oh, but that's entirely possible that it was just an accident.

But if it was on purpose, that was filmed through the female gaze and that was for the girls.

That was so beautiful.

So one of the networks has had a shot of Timothy and Kylie sitting at their table.

During commercial breaks, they put like a fan cam all around the place on the website.

Yeah.

And we got a few seconds of the two of them like just staring deeply into each other's eyes, like whispering sweet nothings and sharing sweet kisses.

And if you do read their lips, like it is very clear that they are saying, I love you, I love you.

Yeah.

No, by the way, they are in love.

Up until this moment, like I did not understand.

I was like, what the fuck are these two two people doing together?

Like, it made no sense to me.

Like, none of it just clicked.

I'm obsessed.

This video changed everything.

No, this is true love.

Yeah.

It's so cute.

The fact that Kylie's at the globe, she's like in the background of

someone's presentation.

And she's just like sitting there.

And she was so in her like.

Golden Globe plus one moment.

You know, she wasn't wearing like super high fashion.

She was wearing like a gown.

Like it was giving giving kind of like off the rack

dress.

Yeah.

Mother of the bride.

I have a black tie event for my boyfriend and I want to look nice.

In no way did she want to make it about her.

Like she wore her hair up.

Like it was just so regular and I loved every moment of it.

Loved every moment.

She was talking to a lot of his coworkers and colleagues.

Greta.

Greta.

Meeting and greeting and just like being so supportive.

It was really crazy to see her like, because whenever she, she doesn't show up places.

And when she does, it's like this moment you know paparazzi thousands of people screaming flashes yada it's a it's a whole affair it's a federal case

and for her to just like sneak in the back door not to the carpet wear all black like just support her man it was so weird but in a good way yeah i think that for them it was probably a really big deal because she does bring all this hoopla with her and she didn't want to bring that there's like you know mage it's so about so many things that aren't unfortunately for me kylie but i feel like that moment of them being like like I love you I love you was just like them being glad that they decided to come together and that it like all worked out and like I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else Jackie I'm obsessed like

it was so cute like I just didn't expect them to be cute like that you know what I mean yeah

and like they're getting married like I'm obsessed no and she's gonna have his babies yeah

Yeah,

but I feel like they're both like we one thing about Kylie I forget is she's so young because she's literally a mom of two She did so much in her life so young and I really could see because Timothy's now like similar age to her I could see them like being together for like a little a little bit before they they have kids.

Oh, yeah.

No, but they will is what I'm saying like whether it's one year two years five years like that's where this is going.

Yeah

And that's just what's so weird about Hollywood because like people do things on their own timeline.

Like Timothy Chalamay is four years old and his girlfriend has two kids.

Like it just makes no sense, you know?

Yeah.

Everyone has to run their own race turdie.

It's true.

so that's pretty much the globes recap.

Do you have anything else to say?

Any of the winners?

No, I mean, I there wasn't any big upset or anything.

Everybody deserved to win happy for mostly everyone in succession and the bear, which were the shows of the year.

So, thank you for being accurate, Golden Globes.

Maybe they went on,

maybe they went out of business because they were like doing the most instead of just giving the awards to the people who obviously deserved it.

Like, thank you.

I really,

I'm gonna say

six words that, like, I just really never thought I would say.

I really enjoyed the Golden Globes.

Yeah.

It was good.

It was good.

Oh my God.

Excuse me.

It was jolly good fun.

I'm so for all.

I'm glad.

Yeah.

It was nice to kick off awards season.

Who knows what the other shows will bring.

But it was a great way to kick it off.

And I hope it brings more Kylie and Timothy.

And that's what I hope for this award season.

And there's always like, I feel when you walk away from an award show, like one thing you want to see, watch.

Was there anything that you felt like now?

I really want to see it.

The Emma Stone movie.

Yes.

The way everyone was talking about it.

I think someone had tears in their eyes when she won.

I was like, oh, okay.

Yeah, no.

I completely agree.

Also, Beef.

Yeah.

I had heard part of the award show.

Oh, they both won for male and female lead.

But when it was on, like, I had heard everyone be like, you have to watch Beef.

You have to watch Beef.

Yeah.

But I don't have to start rewatching those.

Oppenheimer, but I just, like, Oppenheimer, the length of Oppenheimer and and barbie are longer than like

one charlie sleep period yeah so i just don't have the bandwidth that's funny yeah no i feel that so that's your golden globes recap happy awards season

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Our next story.

Ariana Maddox is suing her ex-Tom Sandoval to force the sale of the house that they still live in together.

So Ariana has sued her castmate and ex-boyfriend to force the sale of their shared LA home, according to documents obtained by PTMZ on Friday.

She filed the complaint in LA Superior Court and requested a partition by sale, which means the court would order the sale of the property.

She specified that she wants to sell the house and split the proceeds.

She does not want a division in kind in which they would each split ownership of the house because that would require like someone to buy her half of the house and like share it with Tom, who would do that?

Well, she had wanted him to just buy her out.

He said no.

Well, now it's like she wants just the house to sell, and they both have to sell and split the proceeds, which

is what they should have done a very long time ago.

Which is so fair.

And if he was so adamant about not selling the house, then he should have just bought it from her.

Right.

Right.

And it's like, it's messed up.

And also, everyone's like filming.

No, but you know what?

That's like not even a good deal because they bought the house many years ago.

I believe that they like renovated it a little bit.

Like they put money into it.

So the house is worth more now.

And she wants out the most possible from her investment yeah that's true but the market is down well is it in la who knows yeah it's and they bought it for two million dollars actually they i don't think they renovated it i think all those homes like came like they were all new oh yeah they just bought a lot of furniture so then they just have to split the furniture yeah but like valley village is an up-and-coming neighborhood like they might have made turned a profit on the house yeah but also i think she just wants to get out so i think she would have accepted like even what she put into it half a million dollars it he's so diabolical like why the fuck would he want to still live with her no it's so crazy that they still have a house together and that they're living together most of the time.

Yeah.

No, and she gets asked about it a lot.

And she's like, I know it's crazy.

We literally don't talk.

We live in the same house.

We pass each other in the hallway.

We do not talk.

It's crazy how you could, like, be in that situation.

But also, it's...

He's filming with the cast.

She also said she's been so busy with like, especially January with the stars, you live in a separate apartment.

She's been flying around doing this.

She's not home a lot.

Yeah.

But I feel like the cast could have put pressure on him to be like, if you want back in our good graces, like let Ariana out of the house.

I mean, I guess we'll see with the new season, like how the cast plays into this.

They're kind of like, he's back.

I feel like, yeah, like they've reverted.

And then Lala put out a statement the other day because he was seen with a tiger and she was like disgusted that one of her castmates would like be with an animal in captivity.

And it's like, we didn't, I wouldn't think that you would need to like disassociate yourself from Sandoval any further.

Even more.

You know, like I wouldn't see that and think, oh, what does Lala think?

Because Lala hates this person.

Unless like everyone's kind of the gang's back together.

No, there's definitely like a weirdness.

I, I think everyone at the end of last season was like going so hard for Ariana.

I then think like Ariana's shooting to fame like definitely changed some people's opinions only in the sense that it's like, all right, you've been redeemed.

Can we all go back to being friends now?

You mean with Tom?

Yeah, I do.

I do feel that way.

I think Sheena feels that way.

I don't think Katie Maloney ever wants to be friends with him ever again.

So like that's not a problem.

Or la la.

Yeah, but like Sheena definitely, some of the people in the middle, and then also like the husbands is what makes it weird, you know?

The boyfriends.

Yeah.

Rock.

Rock.

Rock.

Rock.

So

I actually,

I think this season of Banner Pump Rolls will be very good.

I think so too.

I think it might even be better than last season.

Yeah.

The trailer looked good.

There's just so like So many weird, so much weirdness and so many interesting things that like I really am curious how it played out.

Very sad Satchel's not making a return, return, but we'll survive.

He'll always be in our hearts.

That's true.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yeah.

A little new music news: Ariana Grande is releasing her first solo single in three years after a transformative year of challenges.

So the singer putting it mildly.

Ari revealed that her first solo single in three years will be released on January 12th.

She captioned a photo of herself on Instagram, and the caption is Yes and

Heart 112.

So I guess the single is called Yes yes and

and it's giving very much thank you next

oh like just the phrasing like in the title yes and apparently it's like a popular improv thing when you're playing like comedy improv games it's like someone says something oh yes and you have to be like yes and yes it's like a that's so true it is I remember in like drama class we did that yeah yes and I feel like it's gonna be about her like all the things people say about her and it's like yeah and right like they're true.

And

like, I did that shit.

And

what are you going to do about it?

It's, it's actually, it is thank you nexty in the sense of, you know, that was kind of the chirp about her.

She was on to the next one.

She's like, yeah, thank you next.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am ready for like the era where we're talking about Ariana Grande a lot again.

You know, I feel like many, like maybe two years ago, we were talking about her a lot to the point where it was like actually a little sad because she felt like she was going through it.

Mac Miller, overwhelmed, the concert.

Like we're like, remember, we were like, this girl needs to take a break, but she wouldn't take a break.

She took a break, and I'm ready, I'm ready for the comeback.

Like, I'm ready to be like deciphering lyrics, music video.

I'm ready.

Yeah, lest we not forget, she's one of the greatest musical talents of our generation.

So true.

Not only does she have the voice of an angel, but she has great production value on her songs.

She's a pop goddess.

Yeah, she's a diva.

So for the sake of music kind, we need more Ari Bops, but we also

let's not forget

SpongeBob.

SpongeBob.

The baby.

The wife.

Yeah, it's hard.

It's one of those things.

Like, it's so funny how celebrity culture works and like who you stand and who you hate.

Like certain people that you like know and they do things that like you don't agree with and you just like don't care.

And then every now and then like something, somebody does something and it's just like, I'm done with this person.

Yeah, no, you give someone a lot of chances.

And it's, it's like, you know.

You never know what's going to set you off.

That's how I am like with a lot of things.

It could be a small thing that like finally gets me to be like, I'm done.

But it was in a chain of events.

Yeah, and then sometimes it's like a person like does something so minor and I'm like, oh, I hate them.

Like, it's just kind of crazy how the mind works.

It's giving willy-nilly.

I am admittedly extremely willy-nilly.

You are Wilhelmina Nila Nina.

Nilanina.

Yeah.

What was Vanessa Williams' character on Wilhelmina Slater?

Slater.

Slater.

Thank you.

The best character on television.

I think I need to re-watch Ugly Betty.

So I did that.

And it's really

crazy how quickly

you don't want to watch anymore.

Like, I don't know what.

So you're saying it doesn't age well?

No, no, no, it does, but it gets really like silly very fast.

And it's like, okay, I got like the vibes that I needed here.

It just becomes like insane.

Speaking of Ugly Betty, I did want to give a shout out.

Her and America Ferreira and Ray Romano's little monologue was very funny.

America Ferreira was maybe my number one best dress last night.

She looked beautiful.

I like love America Ferreira, and I love that she's just

been in our lives in like very important ways for so long.

Of course, Ugly Betty, our like literally defined, like our favorite fucking show when we were kids.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Like she's kind of just like

invisible string.

Gotta kick it up.

She's this invisible string and she's really like America's America.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Do you know what she is?

Wait, let me think.

What is she?

She's America's Team.

She's America's Team.

Yeah.

And that's how you wrap up an episode.

That's how you, I know, this

string it all together.

That's how you come up with the title.

Yeah.

Thank you.

America's Team will be today's title.

Or something about Joe Coi, because we like Navy People's Note we're talking about the Golden Globes and that we're like a relevant podcast.

Right, right.

Okay, we could we could work.

What about this?

Joe Coi and America's Team.

Or people, this always gets a lot of clicks when we do it.

Like, Joe Coi,

Joe Coi, Taylor Swift, Timmy and Kimmy.

You know?

Yeah, like when you put like the topics in the title, but it's just so like not fun.

It's not fun.

It's not, but it's effective.

And we don't do it all the time.

Yeah.

But there's like a lot to talk about today.

Yeah.

Ugh.

But also sometimes like we think of a funny name for the show after the show, but we didn't like say it on the show.

So, if there's any like funny things with Joe Coi,

no, like, normalize changing your title, like, when you come up with a better one, like, sometimes, like, when you do a caption, right?

Or sometimes we post the episode and then people will write in the comments something they thought was really funny, and it's like, oh, that should have been a title.

Okay, yeah,

honestly, like, what about like Joe Coi having a breakdown, like something

but like funny, yeah.

We'll think about it.

We'll workshop it.

Yeah, like what about?

No.

Okay, that's not a funny joke.

Okay, good.

It's important to know when your joke isn't funny.

Joke boy.

Joke boy.

So is that our show?

That is our show.

Oh, also a little scheduling update for this week.

I didn't even talk to you about this, but you know, I'm like leaving the country at the end of the week.

No.

So what's that mean for me?

So it means that Thursday's episode will be audio only and we will be recording it Wednesday night.

Great.

Friday, TBD.

I'm going to bring my microphone with me.

So we'll just like fuck it up and while I'm in Mexico.

Okay, yeah, we'll figure it out as long as your connection is connected.

My connection will be good, but then there's like the time difference, which is so annoying.

Yeah.

But you do Thursday.

We'll be able to at the same time anyway.

Yeah, that's true.

You know?

Just be patient with us for Friday's episode.

We'll figure it out.

But like, you know, it's January, year of yes.

You know, we reset.

So I'm taking a trip.

I'm excited for you.

Thanks.

Okay.

well, that's our.

Oh, and also, I'm going to the premiere of Mean Girls tonight.

Cool.

Let us know how it is.

I will.

Can I actually send you a picture of my dress?

Like, I'm having such a hard time finding something to wear.

Sure.

And you just give me like your live reaction.

I think you should wear this dress to the party tonight.

I'm trying,

but only if you like it.

It's just, I wanted to wear like pink Mean Girls, but everything like I look stupid in.

So I just found this dress I like I look amazing in.

But like, is it right for the theme?

I don't know.

Did you get it?

Yes, one second.

Oh, I love it.

It's not on theme.

No, it's not.

But like, you don't need to be like a big pink moron.

No, by the way, I went shopping.

I tried on like big prink, pink dresses, and like I looked stupid.

Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah.

It's just like if it's like this pink red carpet and pink like step and repeat, I don't know.

Like my dress will just like look stupid and out of place.

But like I'm more focused on me, you know, like how will I look?

And the dress is beautiful and I look gorgeous.

Hmm.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I just don't want you to like not match the carpet and the backstop and then you're like

stupid.

And then the dress actually looks bad.

Yeah.

I know.

Damn.

When is it?

Tonight.

Oh.

And then I'm heading straight to book club in my gown.

Oh, they're going to be so excited.

Did you read your book?

Yeah.

Our book clubs have the same.

I have the same book.

But no, it's not till later this month and I need to finish our Redheads book and then I'm reading it.

I read the Heaven and Earth Grocery Store.

It was good.

It was fine.

It was like not something I would normally read.

Okay.

So, can't wait to read it.

Yeah.

It was like, I just, I had one issue with it.

Don't tell me.

No.

You know what?

I actually didn't have an issue with it.

It was just like not my type of book, but it was good.

Okay.

We'll talk when I read it.

No, I had one issue.

We'll talk when I read it.

Okay.

Okay.

I don't want to spoil it.

All right.

Thank you so much for listening to the Testament.

I'm going to show where we deal with the fastest story as you need to have a mind of the fight and you did so watching this on YouTube.

digital, public, box, all the pleasures listening to my social lives.

Oh, wake it later.

How there we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing day.

Love you.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye.

You.

Yeah.

Bye.

Yeah.

Yeah.