What's Love Got To Do With It?: Thursday, September 14th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Thursday.

Hope everybody's having a great day thus far.

Today's episode is a special audio-only extravagaganza featuring a major celebrity.

You know, a lot of, we had a lot of talent coming into town for New York Fashion Week, and we were able to nail down a pretty stellar interview with a major celeb.

Joining me today on the toast, it's Ben Soffer.

Hey, Ben, how you dering?

Hi, darling.

I'm doing wonderful on this Thursday morning.

How are you?

I'm doing fabulous.

So grateful as always to have you joining me in studio.

How's a celebrity life treating you?

I know you're so busy back to back.

Photo shoots, press junkets.

Thank you for being here.

I mean, like people like to pretend that I'm a celebrity and like they like think of it as like a bit of a running joke all I have to say is that last night I cooked with the one and only Jeffree Zakarian from Iron Chef and Food Network and I'm just saying that only real celebrities get the opportunity to cook with an Iron Chef.

I forgot about that.

You got home late last night.

You were all the way in Brooklyn with another man.

Deep in Brooklyn and not only with another man.

Deep in another man.

Deep in Brooklyn, deep in another man, and honestly, an incredibly fit older gentleman.

So you're just saying saying this is Jeffrey Zakarian.

Tell me how this partnership came about because it was an interesting you made, you've cooked with him, you made some like video content that's going to come out on Instagram, right?

Yes, and

as everything else,

a toaster, a good guys listener.

It was a toaster.

It was a toaster.

It was a boy with no job base.

Who's a toaster?

Who's really somebody who's just a die-hard good guys listener?

She reached out and she said, you know, I run social media for Jeffree Zakarian,

and I think it would be really, really great if you guys started to make some content together.

And I said, I would absolutely love to show the Jeffrey Zakarian my cooking chocolate.

Let me ask you an honest question, okay?

Yes.

Did you know who Jeffrey Zakarian was before the girl?

Yes.

Okay.

Yes, Iron Chef.

You don't watch Iron Chef?

No, I do.

I watch everything on TV.

Like, you don't watch TV.

I watch the Food Network.

Okay.

I grew up on the Food Network.

No, you didn't.

And what kind of shit is this?

You grew up on, like, James Taylor.

No, no, that's music.

No, you grew up like...

I grew up on the...

Actually, you grew up on the Big Bang Theory, which is exactly what's wrong with you.

No, I grew up watching the Food Network.

I grew up watching Nick at Knight.

I grew up watching Disney.

And Jeffersakarian was a classic on Iron Chef.

Let me ask you a question.

I feel like when we podcast together, I like learn new things about you.

Like when I was a young tween, like I was obsessed with the Jonas brothers.

Like that was like my celebrity crush.

Like who was your, who were you obsessed with that like you had maybe a poster of or that you had a crush on?

No posters.

Guys really don't do posters.

They They don't?

Nah, not really.

Not really.

I think also I in particular didn't do posters because I was just so cripplingly embarrassed of my parents like seeing a poster.

Because then I'd like have to talk about it, you know?

Oh, you were embarrassed that your parents would know who you liked?

It's funny because like they also bought me all my CDs so they knew who I liked.

I was obsessed with Vanessa Carlton.

A thousand miles.

I watched her at the Grammys.

And I remember just thinking.

Wait, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You watched her at the Grammys?

Did I literally like you said the Grammys?

You did say it like that.

Yeah, I don't think so.

You did, you did.

Cool.

I watched her at the Grammys.

Is that, did I say it right that time?

The Grammys.

Okay, the Grammys.

I watched her at the Grammys.

Yeah.

And she was just fucking unbelievable.

You're still upset.

And then all of a sudden, White Chicks comes out.

Oh, baby.

Making my way downtown, walking fast, fizzes passing.

I'm Terra Cruz.

Get it in.

Unbelievable.

So good.

So when we got here, you asked me things about you.

Jeffrey Zakarian.

Oh, yeah, but then you pivoted to like, I don't know things about you, so I want to know things about you.

But yeah, Jeffrey Zakarian.

Let me just quickly.

First of all, Jeffrey Zakarian,

nice, kind, great.

Jewish?

I don't think so.

He kind of looks

Armenian, I believe.

Okay, okay.

Unbelievable.

Obviously, he's an unbelievable chef.

That's literally what I was about to say, but I'm just saying, unbelievable chef.

Did you cook at his house?

No, we cooked at City Harvest.

They have like this

gorgeous like facility where City Harvest is a charity.

Yes, but they now have what seems to be like a for-profit.

Like you can rent it.

Oh, that's so small.

Yeah, to like, I don't know.

To make money for the orb.

To make money for the orb.

I love that.

Good plug.

Yes, and it is a gorgeous, gorgeous facility.

Jeffrey has his own line.

You sound like Ina.

You sound like Ina.

Jeffrey.

Jeffrey.

How easy is that?

I can't believe I didn't do that with him.

Oh, that's a big mistake.

He has his own line.

And by the way, I'm plugging him away.

I'm just saying, Jeffrey, when you hear this, you got to start plugging stuff for us, okay?

Okay, promo for promo.

Some Spritz Society, some pink lemonade, which we'll get to.

Jeffrey has his own line of cooking appliances, and he turned me on to

his

non-stick cast iron.

I know that you don't cook.

Okay, that's not a cooking appliance.

That's a pan.

A cooking appliance is like an oven or like a microwave.

So is a pan!

Okay, by the way, I meant to tell you, I'm like looking at the computer, you're screaming.

If you're going to blow out the microphone, just calm down a little bit.

A pan is not an appliance.

A pan is a utensil, like a tool.

I don't know.

I would call it cooking.

Appliances.

No, it's not appliance.

What's their, like, he has his own line of cookware, cookware, cookware.

Fine.

Appliance is like a stove.

I thought you were going to say he's selling stoves.

No, that would be tough.

I mean, I guess you could, but.

You couldn't.

No, we cooked on a Viking.

Oh, you cooked on a Viking?

Excuse me, Jeffrey.

Non-stick cast iron.

Like, I know that you literally haven't, like, cooked anything in your life.

Like, anytime that you try to cook anything, it tastes like absolute garbage.

Yeah.

Garbage.

For those that cook out there, this non-stick cast iron, holy smoke.

Where does he sell it?

I think he probably sells it online.

Okay.

That would be my guess.

Jeffreysacarrion.com/slash something.

Do you work for Jeffrey now?

No, I don't even know if he has that white no domain.

I don't know.

I have no idea.

Like, you're promoting him as much as you promote Spritz, which is, I know why you're on the toast with me today, why you agreed to donate some of your time, is because you have an ulterior motive.

And Ben, take the mic.

It's all you.

But before we get there, I just need to tell everybody how I what I learned from Jeffrey.

No?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were.

You literally skipped.

Like, I'm in the middle of my Jeffrey's segment.

Ben, what did you do?

My Jeffrey's segment.

Ben, what did you learn from Jeffrey?

I just want to say that we cooked the most unbelievable steak I've ever cooked in my entire life.

What do you think I put at the bottom of that non-stick cast iron pan?

Like before you put the

I would guess like people on TikTok are always putting like butter.

Yeah, butter, pam, olive oil.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Jeffrey puts nothing?

Three inches, hunk of meat, gorgeous bone in ribeye, nice marbling.

The marbling comes from fat.

Put it face down,

and you just let the steak do its thing.

The fat becomes what you use to cook the steak.

So you're saying you think three inches is a big hunk of meat?

Three inches is a huge hunk of meat.

It's not as large as my meat.

Yeah, yeah.

But it's a large hunk of meat.

I knew exactly what you were doing.

You thought you were so slick.

But Ben, you are doing your time here today, but I know you had a message for the toaster.

It's kind of a big day today in Toast and Spritz Hearstery.

Is that correct?

It is.

Backed by popular demand.

Today we are re-releasing Pink Lemonade.

So this episode is going to be out early.

So what time will it be on the website and stuff?

12 o'clock today,

12 Eastern.

So just right before it goes live.

And I mean, you can speak for this flavor.

It's the best flavor we've ever made.

And it's our fastest-selling flavor ever.

It's It's not even close.

Last time, this sold out in less than two days.

We made a limited quantity again.

Go spurtsociety.com slash pink lemonade and buy the sparkly pink drink that literally took over the internet.

Let me ask you a question.

I think I speak for all the fans when I say, what the hell took so long?

We've been asking for it for a while, Ben.

Have you not been working on it?

Have you been slacking off?

We've been working on it.

You think you're too famous because you're a celebrity with Jeffrey Zakarian that you don't have to

tend to your businesses anymore?

I'm sorry.

It's back.

What took so long?

What took so long is that it takes a lot of time to reorder cans.

You know, we are still a small business here.

You're supporting a small business.

Giving Indie.

People don't necessarily realize, like, we make it seem so big and flashy.

You're still supporting a small business.

It's true.

We need it to reorder cans.

We need it to reformulate.

We needed to get more wine.

We needed to.

We had no idea how quickly this thing was going to sell.

Yeah.

And

it's again in partnership with the Skinny Confidential, Lauren Bostic.

She's the best.

We love her.

The Spritz Society, Skinny Confidential, Pink Lemonade, is now available.

Get it before it's gone.

Get them to.

SpritzSociety.com.

You tell them, Pops.

SpritzSociety.com/slash pink lemonade.

So you obviously were here to do that.

Don't try and get up from the table because you still have to do the past five with me.

Okay.

I was not here to only do that.

I'm not kidding.

Pops.

It's called a joke.

And I think you should learn to start taking them.

All I gotta say is you, you dish them.

You don't take them well.

It's so true.

It's kind of like the cancer in me.

That's what they say.

Like, we're really mean, but also really sensitive.

You dish, dish, dish.

I do.

I dish, dish, dish.

What are you drinking in that cup?

Water.

It's pretty good.

Wow, is it it loud no it's not loud it's just um i thought it was snapple and i was gonna ask for a sip no it's water cool yeah and if it was snapple i wouldn't share it with you why because you're giving off an energy a toxicity would you say you are oh i feel like i'm being like so funny asking you such good questions yeah maybe maybe maybe so what are you trying to say i'm just saying tell the people how much you love pink lemonade oh my god guys it always comes back to pink lemonade you're kind of like a Toxic entrepreneur.

Yeah, I am.

Oh, okay, you own that?

You should take that Instagram handle, the toxic entrepreneur.

I own it.

The toxopreneur.

I own it.

Okay.

I am.

I am.

I am him.

You're kind of like a psycho.

I am him.

Are you ready to do the past five with me?

I am.

So I can't lie, before we talk to everyone about the stories, I just want to be open and honest.

Like, the stories are not great.

I feel like we've had three episodes with, like, really good stories every single day.

And today,

they're not great.

I just felt it was important that I say that.

We're gonna have a good time.

We're gonna make the most of it.

Ben is weirdly, like, obsessed with Olivia Rodrigo these days, and we have a a story about her so i can't wait to hear what she has that i don't have so ben do you think it's time

it's time what's with the delay no i was just thinking like yes it's time for everybody to go to spritsociety.com slash pink lemonade and order pink lemonade ben are you ready i'm ready freddy here are the fast five stories that you yes you need to know and the fast five stories that you yes you need to know are brought to you by kitsch kitsch is game-changing that's what their biggest biggest fans say about it and it's time-saving beauty essentials for hair, skin, and body.

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All right, Benny, you ready?

I'm ready.

So your girlfriend is making news.

Our first story of the day, I want everyone to note, Ben has worked from home two days this week.

Each day I came in, he was listening to the new Olivia Rodrigo album.

And not that that's like crazy or anything, but you just don't like listen to current music.

I've never walked in and you were listening to Taylor Swift's new album.

So are you in love with Olivia Rodrigo?

It's just, um, it's just pretty rare that I listen to an album and I think it's good.

And all I gotta say is I think it's good.

Yeah, it's very good.

I think guts is good.

It's very me.

It's very paramour.

It's very like me, you know, like a young teenage girl sitting in my room crying.

There was a young teenage girl sitting in your room crying when you were in the middle of the room.

No, that's no, that's me.

You, you're,

I, you're saying you're the teenage girl who was crying.

Exactly.

Expand on that.

No, I'm just saying I love Olivia Rodrigo.

I didn't know how much I loved Olivia Rodrigo.

Like, I think subconsciously, I've just been listening to the song Vampire.

Like, you told me this, and I didn't even realize.

I said to Claudia, I'm like, why do people release songs?

Like, why release the two best songs?

And then all of a sudden put together an album, the rest of it would be crap.

And she said that that's literally what everybody has been doing forever when they release music.

Where have I been living?

Yeah.

All I know is that all the songs you hear on the radio are singles that are released before an album comes out.

See, I didn't even realize.

But like, like albums have 15 songs and most people know two or three of them because those are the singles that got released in anticipation before the album came out.

Got it.

I guess I always thought that the album came out and then there were singles that they chose that they really liked that they just...

Sometimes it happens afterwards like Taylor Swift, but no, for the most part, it's like a strategy to get people hyped for the album.

Yeah.

So I...

So Ben P.

He's like, I know half these songs already.

Like, you're so like fucking special.

The problem is, I don't remember any of the songs, but I remember that I really liked them.

So what's your favorite?

I think that my favorite, but I don't remember, I don't like even remember what it sounds like, but my favorite was All-American Bitch.

Forgive and up.

No, that's a different one.

I work my age and I like...

No, that's the same one.

My perfect All-American.

I think that's it.

Yeah.

They're also,

that's it.

Really good.

Okay.

Really good.

Vampire, though.

You know, I really relate to vampire because as a celebrity, having a wife that is just like a normal plebeian, like the line, bloodsucker, fame fucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire.

That's how you feel.

It really resonated with me.

I know, I see that.

There are a lot of lines that resonated with me.

One of them being, shut up, you're annoying.

I hate you.

Bloodsucker, fame fucker.

Get it popped.

Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

That's so good.

No, she's really good.

She has an edge.

She's kind of like angsty.

Yeah, she's angry.

Angry.

Well, the story that I wanted to talk about is not the album.

It's that she's announcing a tour, a world tour in 2024.

And it's kind of crazy.

She's been like a famous person, famous singer for like two years.

She's playing The Garden twice.

She did?

No, in this upcoming tour.

Has she ever toured?

Once before.

It was when her first album came out.

Weirdly went viral.

They didn't know if it was going to be like real success.

So she played like small theaters on it.

She played like some of the places that I do comedy, like 1,500, 2,000 people.

People were really mad.

The tour sold out instantly.

Ticketmaster, drama, you know, all that.

Of course.

And price gouging.

Right.

It was like a small tour for someone who had an album that like defined the year almost.

And so now with her, she's making up for lost time.

It's a very long tour.

I think it's mostly Arena's, New York, April 5th and 6th.

Twice she's playing.

Madison Square Guardian, which is just like so crazy for somebody so new to music.

Even though she's like not new to to music, she's new to being famous as a musician.

I just want to know, where is everybody coming up with all this cash?

Who?

Taylor Swift fans.

Oh, Olivia.

How are fans affording to go to all these concerts?

Like, arena tours, stadiums, or all of these tickets are coveted tickets.

No, and we're also in this like time right now where so many people didn't tour during COVID that like the first big wave of tours is happening right now.

Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Ed Share, and John Mayer.

Like there's so many stadium and arena tours.

And I think people are really having to strategize where to spend their money.

Yeah, pick and choose.

You got to pick and choose.

Like, who do you ride or die for?

Got to pick and choose.

Honestly, Olivia Rodrigo.

We have to go.

We have to go.

We have to.

I don't know.

You'd love her so much.

Like, I don't think we can go.

No, we have to.

We have to.

I need backstage.

Why?

Honestly, I'm just going to bring a friend.

Not me?

I don't think so.

Why?

I just don't think you can handle it.

So, like, so that you can make out with Olivia MPs?

I just don't think you can handle it.

Like, let's say you're in a room with Olivia.

By the way, this is a good question.

Let's start a fight.

Do you think Olivia Rodrigo is pretty?

I actually don't even know if I I know what she looks like.

Really?

Yeah.

I'll show you a picture.

Her picture.

Turn around.

How old is she?

Um, she's like 20.

She's very pretty.

You can think she's pretty if you want.

That's not like a normal picture.

Yeah, no, that's like a bad picture of her.

It's literally showing me, like, a, honestly, a picture where it looks like she's giving fellagio.

That's a very provocative.

She's supposed to be throwing up.

The album's called Guts, like throwing up, you know, you throw your guts up.

Do you like my use of the word fellatio?

Yeah, you obviously had to make it disgusting.

No, I'm just saying, like.

This is like actually what she looks looks like.

Do you think she's pretty?

Huh?

You know what?

I'm not here to objectify women.

I think all women are pretty.

Well, I actually feel like she's actually like your type.

If I had to imagine, because you very rarely tell me like when you think someone's pretty because you think like I can't handle it.

And I can.

You can't.

But you know, I can.

You did one time say that, um,

what's her name?

Fiona from Shameless.

Emmy Rossum, you said she was pretty.

Oh my god.

You said she was pretty.

I don't even think she's pretty but you said she's pretty no but like she's not and like that's not my type theona from shameless like i said that i wouldn't objectify women i'm sorry i'm out okay but i'm not interested i just mean like your type is like really pale check me brunette check me but also like weirdly like very thin women like no are you just like experimenting with me no that's true

am i just like a game to you okay so one if we are like dissecting my type definitely not pale pale women let me say something actually.

It's not a thing.

This might be one of like the craziest, most disgusting things I said, and you might walk off this tour.

I mean, walk off this tour, walk off this podcast.

You know who I feel like your type is?

Who?

Not who, but like,

maybe I shouldn't say it.

It's like gross.

You should.

Okay.

I feel like you think girls, not your type, I think that you think girls are beautiful when they look like your sister.

You what?

Because your sister is very beautiful.

She's brunette, light, like very pale.

Honestly, she she kind of looks like Emmy Rossum.

So, the fact that you said that you thought Emmy Rossum was pretty, you're just saying you're seeing it's a reflection of your family.

I think that's beautiful.

I don't mean that in a gross way.

Okay, first and foremost, you are disgusting.

You are disgusting.

That said, my sister is a beautiful woman.

Your sister happens to be like an incredibly beautiful, like you are disgusting.

Okay, I was trying to give a compliment.

Yeah, now let me explain to you because you forced it out of me what my type is.

Okay, my type is not Emmy Rossum.

I actually

could not dislike incredibly thin women objectively less.

I don't think.

I need a voluptuous, I need a booty to grab.

Ben,

maybe we're in this predicament where I don't really know your like celebrity crush type because you just are like always like very shy and like protective of my feelings.

On the count of three, just say a celebrity who you think is very hot.

I've said this before.

Scarlett Johansson.

You don't even need to count.

You've said that?

I've said that to you a hundred times.

You ask these questions and then you forget.

I do.

And then you forget.

Sidney Sweeney.

Sidney Sweeney is really hot.

Would say you like blonde girls?

No, I don't care about hair color.

I care about this gorgeous hourglass figure.

Not this skinny

skinny nothing.

Okay, okay, okay.

Don't like rag on the skinny girls.

They have feelings too, bitch.

By the way, that's fine.

It's not for me.

Okay.

So I like that.

You like junky men?

I do like junkie men.

So what's wrong with the skinny guy?

What about that guy that's one bone?

It's not my type.

Oh, okay.

What about the skinny guys?

No, I'm just saying it's not my type.

Okay, cool.

Scarlett Johansson, really?

That's a good answer, Pops.

A Jewish queen.

Yeah, she is.

A rich girl.

We love a rich girl.

Sure,

money is an option.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I had all the money in the world, she's like the highest-grossing like actress, she's the biggest actress of all time.

Renee Taylor.

Who the hell is that?

Oh,

Renee Taylor.

And you call yourself a fan.

Oh, the grandma from

the nanny?

The mom from Fran Dresher's mom.

She's your type.

Gorgeous.

Just know, like, that is what I will look like when I'm older.

Just with that.

Absolutely cannot wait.

Do you think Fran Dresher in the nanny, like what we're watching, she's beautiful?

Oh, yeah.

She's very beautiful.

For sure.

She kind of looks like your sister.

Okay.

I'm not trying to make it weird.

I'm just saying, your sister happens to be very beautiful.

Yes, but I just, this, these can be, this is, it's strange.

I think Maddie will hear this episode and be flattered.

I mean it in a nice way.

Okay, cool.

But you know, interestingly enough, Maddie's boyfriend looks nothing like you.

Are you insulted?

No, not at all.

Maybe Maddie doesn't think you're handsome.

Or maybe she.

Yeah, it's interesting.

It is, right?

It's interesting.

All right, Olivia Rodrigo's going on tour.

Oh, don't know that's.

Well, anything else you want to say besides the fact that you're going and I'm not invited?

No, I'm just trying to think of more women that I find attractive.

Oh, you want to keep going?

Okay, sure.

No, I'm just saying.

Like, you literally told the world that my type is pale.

By the way, you, I didn't tell the world, I guess.

Emi Rossum.

Okay, did you, did you or did you not say when we were watching Shameless that you thought that Emmy Rossum was I said that because you had said something and I wanted to bother you.

Oh, you were trying to start a fight.

Yes.

I'm not attracted.

Oh, you didn't say you were trying to start a fight.

All right, you know what?

Considering it.

Milakoonis, 10 out of 10.

Do you see what she did?

No.

How do you like literally operate in the world and you don't know anything?

I don't know.

Tell me.

Do you remember that 70s show?

I'm about to blow your mind.

Of course.

Danny Masterson, do you know?

Of course, yes, I know everything.

You know that he's been on trial for drugging and rapeing two women.

Terrible.

And he was found guilty.

And then last week was the sentencing.

He was going to get a sentence.

They didn't know how long he was going to go to jail for.

And he had people in his life, him, his lawyers, his family, reached out to people in his life to write letters on his behalf, just attesting to his character.

He's a good man who made a mistake.

Please go easy on him.

And

Milakunis and Ashton Kutcher wrote letters on his behalf.

And

it became public information.

And they had to like release a video.

They're like, we're sorry.

Not a good week for Milacunas.

But if we're looking past that, I agree.

She is very beautiful.

So yeah, maybe not the best time to bring her up.

Are you ready for the next story?

I'm ready.

So Taylor Swift is obviously going viral.

She was doing a lot at the VMAs.

And one of the moments that is going viral, she was wearing a bunch of jewelry.

She was wearing a ring that cost $12,000.

It's a vintage ring, one of a kind.

And she broke it.

Okay.

And it's all caught on camera.

So she appears to have broken the $12,000 vintage ring she wore to the VMA's video captured the moment an entire search party gathered in the hopes of recovering the missing piece.

Like the big stone in the middle fell out, like the expensive part.

It's unclear what exactly had transpired, but video shows a mortified Taylor holding up the vintage accessory with the massive diamond missing from the center of the ring.

This led to several guests, VMA staffers, and Taylor herself combing the area in the hopes of finding the gem.

The results of their effort remain unknown, but sadly for Taylor, she was was not pictured wearing the ring for the remainder of the night.

$12,000 ring.

What do you think comparatively that is for like us?

That's like what, me wearing like a $1 ring?

No, no, like a...

$1 ring.

$12,000 is still a lot of money.

No.

So I have two thoughts.

It's probably like maybe for a normal person like wearing a $100 ring?

I have two thoughts.

Because she probably knows that it's an expensive ring.

So what's an expensive ring for normal people?

Like $100, $200.

Let me know when you want my two thoughts.

Go, go, go.

Okay.

Thought number one,

grand for Taylor Swift, peanuts.

Yeah.

Literally freaking peanuts.

But it's more so that it's like a rare vintage thing.

No, I understand.

That rare vintage thing is insured.

Okay.

So she's going to get her money back.

And also, and how do we know that she didn't find that stone on the floor, put it in her pocket?

All of a sudden, she's pictured without the ring, claims it on insurance, insurance fraud, she keeps the ring, gets the cash.

But like you said, $12,000 is peanuts, so why would you commit a crime for peanuts?

Excellent point.

Potentially risk.

This case is dismissed.

Bring in the dancing laser.

Case is dismissed.

Not a bad theory, but incorrect in my opinion.

I think she was drunk and she was just like having a good time.

What's the worst thing you ever lost when you were drunk?

Oh.

It's so scary, like when you think back in hindsight of all the things you've lost, just like out as a young person drinking.

I used to for a long time, like lose a wallet every two months.

You've pretty much lost everything that you own, but in recent years, you've gotten better.

I've started to to get much, much better.

Yes.

I used to be very careless with my things.

I've gotten much, much better.

You have.

But I don't think that, uh,

yeah.

Hmm.

Hmm.

I don't know.

You?

The craziest thing I've ever lost?

I don't know.

Yeah.

I know the craziest thing that you've ever stole when you were drunk, but what?

That hat.

Yes.

I wanted to kill you.

That was a crazy night.

How old were we?

Probably like 21 and 23.

Like this was like you still getting high off being able to get into clubs with your real ID.

Claudia goes into this club that we frequented.

Let me tell the story.

What club was it?

VIP room?

Yeah.

Such a great club.

It was.

I'm so blackout.

And at the front of the club, they have this like little merch booth.

They sell like hats and t-shirts with the club's name on it.

Like who the fuck wants to do that?

Guess how much the hat was?

I don't even remember, 40 bucks?

I do 150.

That's why I was so angry that you stole it.

And by the way, I was such a fucking psychopath.

Yeah.

Like, wait, let me finish a story.

Okay, fine, okay, fine, okay.

I don't really remember how it goes, but like, I was drunk.

I think you were peeing.

I was waiting for you outside the bathroom.

Just to clarify, you're like screaming at me to tell the story.

And then you say, I don't know how it goes.

I know literally everything.

Okay,

tell it.

Okay, cool.

So, Claudia loves this hat on the way in.

Yeah.

And on the way out, even though she is a completely well-off woman,

has plenty of money.

I have plenty of money.

We have no issues.

No issues at all.

Could have easily paid for it.

Steals the hat and runs out the door.

Yeah.

Steals the hat in plain sight and runs out the door.

Runs into a cab.

She shows me the hat and I am freaking out.

I'm like, oh my God.

No, that's not what happened.

You're going to get arrested.

Ben, that's not what happened.

What?

I actually was detained.

Okay, I was waiting for you.

You were peeing.

We were leaving.

I'm standing outside the merch booth waiting for you.

I take the hat and literally put it under my arm like some sort of criminal.

And a bouncer fully sees me and is like, ma'am, what are you doing?

Oh, yeah, that's true.

And you walk out as it's happening, and I realize I've been caught.

And I'm like, oh, I want to buy this hat, but nobody's here to

like sell it to me.

So we were forced to pay for it, which we never would have paid $150 for a hat.

So we take the hat, we leave, you're screaming at me in the cab about stealing and you get so mad and you take the hat and you throw it out the window.

That does sound entirely possible.

And we just paid for it.

That does sound entirely possible.

That's what happened.

By the way, maybe you weren't even drunk at all.

Maybe you're just a thief.

I don't have a thievery problem.

Although I did recently steal an umbrella from like a restaurant.

You know, they have those like communal buckets where everybody puts their umbrella.

And it was raining so hard and there was like this amazing umbrella and I did take it and I did feel bad.

But I just hope the person whose umbrella it was like knows that I was really drunk.

And it's still in our house.

I use it all the time.

Like it's in, it's in a good, happy home.

Oh, the communal umbrella bucket where people put their umbrellas.

Yeah, with that.

Like they bring their own from home.

And then instead of dragging a wet umbrella through the restaurant, there's like a, it looks like a trash bin, but it's actually just for umbrellas to dry off.

Got it.

So let me paint a picture.

And I just want to say, like, if I brought my own fucking umbrella from home and some wench stole it, like I would be so upset.

So I know it's wrong.

I know stealing is wrong.

Let me paint a picture for you.

Pose a scenario.

You're on the street.

Starts to rain.

Not just rain, starts to pour.

You look across from you.

And all of a sudden, there's an elderly woman with a gorgeous, gorgeous umbrella.

You run over to that elderly woman.

You punch her in the face, you steal her umbrella.

That's essentially what you did, and you left her with absolutely nothing.

No, it was late at night.

And it robbed an old woman.

It was a very cool members club/slash restaurant, and it was very late at night.

The person was in their 20s.

Like, I'm telling you.

Also, there's a solid chance that it was nobody's umbrella, and it was like a lost and found umbrella.

No, zero chance.

It was like torrential downpouring.

It was fucked up.

It was fucked up, but honestly, I can't live with regrets.

All right, everybody ready for our next story?

This is crazy.

I don't know if you heard about this.

Delta is issuing new rules, making it much harder to get into their airport lounges.

Wow.

So they just announced, it won't happen until February 2025.

So we have like a year and a half.

But they are changing how customers can earn elite frequent flyer status and is making it much harder for many American Express cardholders to get into the airport lounges, the latest reality check for air travel's era of mass luxury.

Starting January 1, customers will earn Delta medallions status solely based on their spending instead of a combination of dollars spent with the carrier.

So they're just like changing a bunch of things.

Like, you know, if you have a Platinum Amex or if you have a Delta Amex that gets all the things we've all been doing these last few years getting different credit cards to get us into the lounge No, if you have the Amex for Delta you get you get to go into lounge six times a year.

It's not unlimited anymore.

What about the platinum?

Six times a year.

Okay, all I got to say is I'm getting rid of my platinum.

Yeah, like I'm not paying the $600 a year if I can't go whenever I want.

$600?

Yes.

Oh man.

I'm not paying that if I can't go to the lounge all the time.

But I feel conflicted because I think any like true Delta girly will know they've gotten a little loose with the lounges.

The lounges are not luxury anymore it's just as honestly you have an easier time finding a chair at your gate than you do in the lounge like it's not it doesn't feel exclusive so they definitely needed to you know tighten up a little bit but they're taking this too far yeah or maybe they could just have slightly less flights like they're money hungry and they're taking it out on us they have the more flights the more people the more people in the lounges you know and all of a sudden they're taking away our lounge privileges and all i gotta say is do you know who's responsible for this who tom brady

why Last week, Tom Brady became the strategic advisor for Delta.

Did you not see this article that we reported on that good guy?

I did see.

I did see.

I did, I did.

I did.

I'm just saying, as his first

mission.

Screw the people.

So instead of the current unlimited visits, starting February 1, 2025, American Express Platinum and Platinum business card holders will get six visits a year unless they spend $75,000 on the card in a calendar year.

It's a lot of money.

It's nuts.

It's a lot of money for like a crap perk.

So, first, I need to fly commercial.

Right.

Right?

Like, yeah, it's if things couldn't get worse.

I'm just saying, if you're spending a hundred grand on your credit card.

You don't need to be flying commercial.

You don't need to be flying commercial.

No, that's like a little nuts.

Nuts.

This sucks.

And I feel like so many people have spent like the last couple of years building like amazing status at Delta, spending money on credit cards just to like, Delta's like a good airline to have put your money towards because they have good perks and they have good credit cards and they have good lounges and like for what now for what we can't even get in all I gotta say who's gonna be in there.

I don't know not me.

Not me.

All I gotta say is I am

pretty airline agnostic.

I recently

I picked the times that I like and for the first time ever I got upgraded from coach.

I don't know if you guys know I fly coach with the people We what would we expect?

I don't know you first class?

Like not to be rude like I'm actually like I have scoliosis.

Like, I need to be in first class.

It's true.

You do.

You do.

You do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm like my father who has scoliosis.

I got upgraded from economy to first class on United.

And what was that like?

What was it United?

No, we haven't taken off yet.

Oh,

in a future flight?

In a future flight.

Is it a lay-flat bed or a recliner?

Definitely a recliner.

Not as good.

No, but it doesn't matter.

Like, it's still super cool.

Like, flight to San Antonio.

Why did you get special treatment?

I think that I've accrued enough United points and

you're united enough, but this is the first time that United has ever given me a perk.

I just want to go on the record and say I think this Delta thing is like absolute bullshit.

Bullshit.

And I'm like really upset about it.

Me too.

Fuck them.

Unless, of course, they want to

speak.

Sponsor us.

I know.

I said what I said.

Like, honestly, this is not cool.

I know that you said what you said, but again, I want to go on record and speak for the good guys and just say that I will retract everything bad that I've ever said about any brand if they want to pay me.

So what you're saying is something we say here at the Toast quite frequently.

You can be bought?

Yes.

Absolutely.

I can be bought for pennies on the dollar.

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All right, are you ready for this next story, which is like kind of moronic?

Ready, Freddy.

I'm sure you've heard about the escaped prisoner in Pennsylvania.

No?

A prisoner, he's a murderer, he got out.

I don't.

I don't know.

Well, there's actually security footage of him like getting out.

Did you help him?

Yeah.

I know you have a history of stealing.

And he was missing for like quite a few days.

and like all the police in Pennsylvania, like it was like this worldwide manhunt for this guy.

And they got him, which is obviously a big deal, but that's not the news story.

The police people have gone viral because they posed for a group photo with the captured prisoner when they found him.

And I guess like a news helicopter was flying above the man search, the manhunt, and they got it on camera when they found him.

And they got it on camera of like all these guys

taking a picture of this escaped prisoner.

Do you not think this is funny?

No, I mean I'm just confused.

So they caught so they caught him and they asked him for a selfie and then they took him off.

They didn't ask him for a selfie.

Let me read you the story.

Law enforcement officials posed for a group photo with an escaped murderer, Danello Cavalcante, following his arrest on Wednesday morning.

In a video posted online, a couple dozen heavily armed law enforcement agents wearing camouflage protective suits are seen gathering around Cavalcante, the escaped prisoner, who was handcuffed and in the center of the group.

The visual was captured from an aerial view.

The moment captured on video marked the end of a nearly two-week manhunt for the convicted murderer who escaped from Chester County Jail on August 31st, one week after he was sentenced to life in prison for killing his ex-girlfriend.

Cavalcante was accused of fatally stabbing her 38 times in 2021 in front of her two young children.

His ability to evade capture exceeded officials' expectations and put the Pennsylvania community on edge for weeks.

People who live in the area have been like freaking for two weeks that there's like an escape.

He's like a very dangerous person out on the loose.

And so that was the news story.

But now they got him and you would think that everyone's going to be like celebrating the relief.

People can't get over the fact that all of them took a group photo with him.

It's so weird.

It is, right?

It's kind of like the same energy, though, of the guy that goes like mule hunting and then takes a picture of the head of the mule.

So the state police department lieutenant was at a press conference and he was asked about it.

He defended the law enforcement officials for taking the photo and he said, I'm not bothered by it.

Well, that's that on that.

Like, I don't think there's anything like unethical about it.

I don't think it goes against like police protocol.

Like, it's just weird.

Yeah.

It's definitely weird.

I'm trying to think if it's unethical at all.

Wait, he continued.

He said, I'm not bothered at all by the fact that they took a photograph with him in custody.

Again, they're proud of their work.

They kept the community safe.

I say thanks to them and good job.

Okay, I agree.

Maybe they are just proud.

It's actually a great comparison of like taking a picture of a deer head.

But see, the reason why it's not a great comparison is because the deer didn't do anything.

You know?

Well, that makes it worse for the deer.

That's what I'm saying.

People shouldn't take pictures of animals.

I agree.

It's not nice.

I agree.

It's not nice at all.

It's not nice at all.

You should hunt, if you're going to hunt, with the sole purpose of eating.

So show us your feast.

Show us your feast.

I want to see, if you take a picture with a freaking deer head, I want want to see that you ate the whole fucking deer.

Yeah, I want to see every fucking inch gone, every single inch.

Have you ever hunted?

No, you're such like an animal lover, but I feel like you've been like invited to hunt.

Well, my trip to San Antonio, where United is upgrading me to first class, I am going skeet shooting.

That's not hunting.

Okay, but it's training me to hunt.

No, it's not.

You're just like breaking plates.

No, with a gun.

I'm using a gun.

It's not a gun.

Yeah, it is.

It's skeet.

No.

Wait.

What?

Like, you're not shooting real bullets.

Same thing, no?

Hold on.

I think it is.

Like, I don't think you can kill anyone.

No, no,

it's clay shooting.

Thank you.

It's not real bullets.

It's not.

By the way, I think it could still kill someone.

No, you could probably take an eye out.

Yeah, it's not good, though.

It's not good.

It's clay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm just saying.

So

you shoot clay at plates?

I'm not sure.

All I know is I'm entering into some competition in San Antonio, Texas.

Oh, what competition?

Can't wait for you to lose.

Yeah, well, hopefully I win, but I'm probably going to lose, and I'm sorry to my team because I just I was not born to shoot a gun hunting is not like a I like I know it's like an art for some people and I really I do respect it but I could never I look if I was because first of all I don't want to eat that shit like I want a restaurant to prepare food for me I want you know like I don't want to be a part of the process I think some people find that part very exciting so I would like to be a part of the process but only if like that was the only way that I was getting meat no you said you're saying if you lived in the woods of course you would hunt to eat Or if I lived on a farm, God, farm to table.

That's what they say.

And only, by the way, these places, pretending that they're farm to table when their table is in a restaurant in Manhattan, that's not farm to table.

But it is.

No, it's not.

It's farm to warehouse to table.

No.

I'm talking about...

It's farm to table.

To warehouse to truck to table.

Correct.

No, but you're right.

Farm to warehouse to truck to chef to table.

To chef.

You know, if you live on a farm like that, actually, it sounds idyllic, like to grow your own.

That's it.

If you live on a farm you don't need to hunt that's what they do you raise it's even harder but you also can raise chickens is that considered hunting like to just kill your own chickens no that's called killing hunting is the act of going tracking shooting would you be more inclined let's say hmm bullet or bow and arrow What would make you feel worse?

You know, at my summer girls' camp, I did archery quite a bit.

I was actually excellent at it.

I think I had a natural ability for the archer and the bow.

And just like Taylor Swift said, I've been the archer.

I've been the prey.

You know?

I was just trying to think, like, how could you be the archer and the prey?

Like, the thing is, I've never shot a gun.

Yeah.

And you shouldn't.

I don't think.

But you should pick back up the bow.

The thing is, like, I actually don't think I could really pull the trigger.

Like, I think I would be freaked out.

But I think I could fuck with, like, you know, Katniss Everdeen energy and, you know, strap, strap a bow and arrow on my back.

And I'm just saying, like, if we were hungry.

But it's much harder to like accurately kill something on my back.

It should be hard.

It shouldn't be easy.

See, that's what I'm saying.

The thing about guns, which is such a problem when hunting, it's too easy.

Yeah, it's not a fair fight.

It's not a fair fight.

But hunting is like such a sport.

I was watching

Luke Homes on Joe Rogan.

It's like a three-hour interview.

The first 30 minutes, I'm loving it.

Then they start talking about hunting.

They don't stop.

Literally, the rest of episode, I turned it off.

I was like, I have no idea what's going on.

But like, hunting turkeys is different than hunting moose or whatever.

No, I get it.

I have plenty of celebrity friends that hunt.

Oh, they hunt big-time hunters.

Who?

I can't share.

I can't share.

Who?

I can't disclose.

So.

I can't disclose.

Okay.

Actually, spoken like a true celebrity.

I can't disclose.

I really appreciate you being on the show.

Of course.

You're a doll.

Thank you, darling.

Is that it?

Yeah, we're good.

We didn't do five stores.

Did we not?

No, you skipped one, I think.

No.

Taylor Swift, Olivia Ruby.

Oh, I did.

Oh, oh, you'll like the story.

Thank you.

I chose a story for you.

Yeah, you're welcome.

By the way, the last time we were together, you also only did four stories.

Jackie usually does the stories.

I'm like not good with the stories.

And I also have to do the ads.

I also have to bring the character.

You know, I have to bring the humor.

It's like, I mean, I literally brought the character and humor.

You literally could have sat here and not spoken.

Okay, this next story, I feel like you're going to love.

What's love

got to do?

Got to do with it, babe.

Some viral news, also from the VMA awards.

There was so much VMA news, we didn't get to all of it on yesterday's show.

Ashanti and Nelly are dating.

They are rekindling their romance.

They dated like both in their heydays.

And they announced on the pink carpet at the VMAs that they are seeing each other again.

So, Nelly, it's getting hot in here.

Ashanti.

What's love?

Yeah, like, okay, I know that's it.

Got to do.

Got to do.

And they were like pop, they were like...

hip-hop icons in the 90s, early 2000s.

And I think they dated back then.

And now they've kind of rekindled their romance.

And Nelly has proven to be like such a precious sham of a man.

Like, I think the more we get to know Nelly in these recent years, we see the real Nellie, and he's like a very sweet guy, and like a kind of cutie.

I love this.

I'm just saying, you tried to trick me with that song because you didn't change your inflection from what's love got to do with this.

You made it in the exact same way.

Did you think I was gonna say, What's love got to do?

My God

got to do with this.

That's not what I said.

No, you literally said, Uh, what's love got to do?

You didn't, you didn't go an octave octave lower.

Sing the song and I'll do the got to do.

And this is what I did.

This is so stupid.

No, it's true.

What's love

got to do with

got to do with it, babe?

What's love?

The got to do needs to be a whole octave lower.

It should be about trust, babe.

Do you even know what song is?

Love

got to do, got to do with it.

They're two different people.

One's a guy, one's a girl.

They're different octaves.

Just say, like, okay, what song came out first?

The other one.

What's love got to do?

Got to do with it?

Really puts me in the mood.

I never really put that together, that those two songs that are have the same exact verse.

I mean, Chorus.

Yeah, the same.

You know how many fucking songs are just rip-offs of another song?

So true.

I mean, you know how many movies are just a rip-off of another movie?

That's kind of one of the biggest allegations being made against your girl, Olivia Rodrigo, is that a lot of her music sounds like other music, Paramore, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift.

And with her first album, she was actually forced to give writing and producing credits to Taylor Swift and to Paramore because they sounded so similar.

And she's experiencing something like that with this new album.

People are really saying that her song,

Get Him Back, sounds a lot like Miley Cyrus's.

I'm gonna start all over,

out of the fire and into the fire again.

You make me want to forget

and start all over.

Such a crazy thing.

Did you hear the similarity when you listen to?

No.

Now, listen, this is bad.

This is Olivia Rodrigo.

The fuck, how does it go?

I don't know.

Getting back.

I don't know at all.

Okay, whatever.

It sounds really similar.

Okay, okay.

All I gotta say is if they would like Olivia Rodrigo to stop making songs that sound exactly like other songs that are in the exact genre, then we need to throw the genres out the window.

Because at some point, the alt punk genre, for example, that I am keeping alive, kicking day in and day out, you can't make songs sound that different you're gonna take inspiration they're gonna sound similar it's the same notes there's only one there's only so many strings on the guitar it's true it's true I think there's a really fine line between like we need to be open and honest and realistic about about the fact that there are only so many chords but at some at a certain point a copy is a copy and I think with the last album, the two songs with Paramore and Taylor Swift, it needed to be done.

The Paramore song needed to be done.

1000%.

Yeah.

That said, so good.

You're so good.

You're so good.

I love you.

I love you more.

Thank you for doing this, Pharrell.

You are very welcome.

Just a quick reminder: again, spiritsociety.com/slash pinklemony.

Really get it before it's gone.

Last time, you guys didn't believe us.

You didn't believe us.

And I don't really know why.

Like, do I strike you as a liar?

Not at all.

Limited time only, limited quantities, spiritsociety.com slash pink limited.

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Bye.