Claud's Good Calls: Friday, June 30th, 2023

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dallions with a duke, or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Maas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like like Bridgerton and Outlander.

And of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash wondery.

That's audible.com/slash wondery.

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and

happy.

This one gets like a little extra vibrato because not only is it a Friday, it's a Friday before a motherfucking holiday weekend, bitch.

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

Weekend.

Friday, Friday.

Get down Friday.

Hey, fun, fun, fun.

Looking forward to July 4th weekend.

Beautiful way to usher us into the weekend.

Turdy Loo Hoo, Turdy Loo Screw.

Turdy, how are you?

I'm dern good.

I can't lie, Jax.

It's Friday.

This has been, was it a long week?

I don't know.

When did the week begin?

When did the week begin?

Such.

Such a good question.

Why do we feel like we didn't have a show on Monday?

No, we did.

I believe it was audio only.

Oh, okay.

This whole, like, these last two weeks have kind of just been like a jumble.

I feel like

after July 4th week, we'll get on more solid footing.

Like, we have Turdy's birthday.

We have a couple of, like, you know, full weeks.

And right now it's just, it's just summer tings, Turdy.

You're, that's summer brain.

Summertime, then the little is easy.

Trills.

It's crazy that it's the last day of June.

Oh my God.

Anything you want to say to June before she departs?

Yeah.

Bye.

June is a nice month.

It is, because, you know, it's really not so hot yet, even though the weather has been crap in New York between like the California wildfire, like smoky air, this like surge of rain and humidity we've had over the last two weeks.

the weather has been crap but i think june in general it's like a nice welcome to summer it's like half summer half spring it's nice yeah

it is nice it's a short month it's a 30 day or

oh is it april june and november exactly the weather has been i find nice aside from like the smog and all that jazz like it's not been very warm and it's been kind of cool and nice.

Not to be like the rudest bitch on the planet, but like how the hell would you know you're on bed rest?

Wow.

Well I check the temperature every day to see what baby Harry needs to wear.

Yeah, but like you aren't feeling it.

You're not out in the streets like getting trouble.

No, but I'm seeing every day it's in the 70s.

Every day.

I know, but it feels different.

And every day we go for like sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Well, baby Harry is so stylish.

And the thing about baby Harry is like he could be dressed, you know, inappropriately, like for the wrong weather, and he wouldn't let it get in the way of his fun.

Like for Harry, fun is the number one priority, whether he's wearing shorts, whether he's wearing pants, whether he's wearing the cutest gift that I just got for him that I ordered in the wrong fucking size because I'm so dumb and stupid and ugly.

Well, well, I know that your gift didn't go

the way.

Yeah, your gift flopped.

But it was so thoughtful, you guys.

I got it.

It was so thoughtful, and it feels like we got a gift.

I got it from shoplukehombes.com.

You know, ever since his wife, Nicole, like took over their, you know, merch, design, marketing, she started making the cutest stuff.

And she's been doing it for a while.

I don't know why I'm talking about like it's new, but she does a lot of baby stuff ever since they welcomed in their beautiful first child.

So they made these baby onesies that says, I'll take you with me, which if you don't know, is a, is a heart, it's a, it's a reference to not reference or to reference one of his songs called Take You With Me, all about how, like, when you're a kid, you just want your parents to take you with them.

And then when you're a parent, all you want to do is take your kids with them.

I know it's Jackie's favorite song.

So it was like a layered, thoughtful, really cute gift that had like waited two weeks for it.

And then when it ordered, I'm like, damn, this is really small.

And the tag said 12 months.

I'm like, why the the fuck did I order that?

He's literally like two years old.

Yes, so that didn't work out, but I hope Levi enjoys his new onesie.

But no, with honestly, with kids, it's actually not what you said.

It's not like you could just wear anything because, like, I feel like with adults, if you're hot, you know, you suffer through it or you take your sweater off.

Like, he needs to be dressed perfectly.

I don't want him sweating.

I don't want him cold.

I don't want him getting sick.

Like, it's a very delicate balance.

I don't want him getting sunburned.

So, if his arms are going to be, like, you have to, you really have to dress for the weather with these babies.

No, and harry has what our you know ancestors would call milk a dick skin porcelain looks like milk you know it's like so sensitive i guess all babies skin is sensitive now yeah yeah not me making everything about hair no it's like the same way like a baby couldn't have like a bath that's as warm as a bath that you would enjoy because their skin is like thinner

so true anytime i've ever bathed harry or any of the children lukewarm quite chilly lukewarm quite chilly warm but no just referencing back something i said before, can we also talk about really quickly how children's clothing sizes make absolutely no fucking sense?

Like anytime I'm buying a gift for a kid, it's like, okay, you know, zero to six months, six to 12.

That I can get, you know?

Okay.

3T, 4T?

What the fuck is that?

Three-year-old, four-year-old.

Okay, but like a three-year-old who's like, you know, a three years in one month versus like a three-year-old who's like three years and eight months?

Well, they don't grow as rapidly in the threes.

Like if you look at pictures of Michaela from like six months ago, she looks the same.

People do complain about children's clothes sizing.

I really haven't found it to be so confounding.

Like I'm pretty straightforward.

And if you have a big kid, you size up.

In general, you should size up because it's drinks in the wash.

They grow quick and they'll grow into it.

No, that's the thing.

Like whenever I'm buying gifts for Brian's son, Dean, you know, Brian is 6'7.

Jackie, his baby, I know, you haven't seen him in a while.

He's as big as Harry.

And he's like, he's the same age as Levi.

Right.

So you just size up.

Like, I don't think I've ever successfully bought like a friend of mine or a sister of mine a gift for their child that was the right size.

Okay.

Here's the pro tip.

Size up.

Even if you got Harry an outfit that was 3T, like that wouldn't fit him today or tomorrow, but eventually it would.

But what's the point in buying a gift for the favorite baby in your life if they can't wear it immediately and like you can't take a thousand pictures?

Okay, well, if you want to wear it immediately and you really don't know what you're doing, just ask the mother for the size.

But then what's the point of a gift?

It's supposed to be a surprise.

So then ask the father.

That's a good call.

That's, see, that's helpful advice, Jax.

Ask the father.

I'll take you in, me.

Not me making like, you know, children's sizing about myself.

I,

you wouldn't expect anything less turdy.

You know what?

Oh my God, I just had the best idea for a Patreon episode.

Okay, Claudia, trying on Harry's clothes.

Okay, rude.

No.

You, okay, we come up with like a list.

You come up with a list of topics.

Okay.

Random, obscure topics.

And the challenge is I have to talk about each topic until I can make it about myself.

Oh, that's so good.

And I tell you, the episode will be three minutes long.

Like, I don't have a problem.

Like, let's do a prep trial run.

You'll be able to rise to the occasion.

Yeah, throw me like a crazy, random topic.

A crazy, random topic.

Um,

okay.

Betting.

I mean,

so easy.

First of all, who spends more time in bed than me?

And the importance of betting can't be understated.

I also have a podcast.

I don't know if you guys have heard of it.

It's called The Toast.

We talk about like betting a lot.

And actually one of our, you know, primary sponsors is a company called Bowl and Branch.

I'm highly recommend.

Use Co Toast.

Okay, that was really easy.

Yeah, betting.

I mean, hello.

She's looking around, Wenchy Lou.

Okay, but like betting.

I'm looking around.

I've been put on the spot.

Construction.

I mean, my life is literally dictated about construction.

Oh my God.

Literally last night, this isn't construction.

See, look, I already did it.

But I don't want to spoil it because it's all documented in the vlog that I'm putting up today on Patreon.

But last night, me and Margo went to the Summer I Turned Pretty Premiere Party.

Like, the whole cast was there.

We got glam.

We looked so stunning, if I do say so myself.

So, I'm not going to, like, spoil what happens in the vlog.

But I guess I didn't even know the president was in town yesterday and I had to go all the way downtown.

I had the craziest fucking Uber driver, Jackie.

And like, I had been in the car for 20 minutes and I had gone three blocks.

Like, and if I wasn't, I was wearing the most uncomfortable shoes.

I was like thinking about taking the subway, but honestly, I don't think I could have made it in those shoes.

I probably would have just went home.

Um,

I don't want to spoil it, but I had like a scary incident in an Uber last night.

Like, I'm not

scared or like put off by road rage.

I totally understand road rage.

I have road rage, my husband has road rage, but this was like another level.

I was sending you guys videos because I was like, should I get out?

Like, am I in danger?

Or is like just the traffic cop in danger?

Yes, I look forward to

seeing the vlog.

To be honest, the videos that you sent, I do not feel like they captured the

feeling, what you were feeling, because it just felt like, you know, like a New York driver, like, hey, get out of my way.

I've been driving longer than you.

Yeah, but he wasn't like, that's classic yellow cab driver energy.

Like, if your yellow cab driver isn't yelling at the traffic cop, like, he's not doing a good job.

This felt like a little scary.

Like, he just seemed like a little

off.

I don't know.

He was really freaking me out, but maybe I was just being dramatic.

You?

You would never.

No, no, no.

You're not turdy Lou.

No.

But I don't want to diminish your experience.

Trauma.

So I'll watch the vlog and see for myself, you know, and experience it as you did.

Well, I'm not going to put any of the footage of the driver.

I was just sending that to you guys, like to be like, should I get out?

Oh, and the other reason that made it scary that I feel like people don't talk about, in a yellow cab or like any type of regular car, if you're in the back seat, like, and even if the doors are locked, you know, you pull the lock up and you can get out.

But he had a Tesla

and they don't have that in Teslas.

That like kind of freaks me out.

I didn't realize that.

Yeah, locking and unlocking the doors.

It's also

the car does it automatically.

There is a button like on the screen, but no, for a passenger, like you're kind of

yeah.

Like I always think whenever I get into an Uber, like if anything happens, like if this guy kidnaps me or even a yellow cab, especially a lot of the yellow cabs are old, you literally pull the lock up.

You know, that little hack from when you were a kid.

But there wasn't anything to help me, but he wasn't locking me in.

He ended up being fine.

And he was like chatty.

And once we got out of the presidential traffic, it was fine.

But

it was, you know, like, it was scary.

But also, Tesla aside, some of these newer cars, the lock goes down and it's like so far down you can't pull it.

It's flush with the door.

It's flush.

Yeah, I feel like that's, you know, that shouldn't be regulation for like a Uber lift taxi car.

But it's hard because it's like, okay, that makes it unsafe when you are in an Uber.

But if you're a child, you can't open the door, unlock it, and let yourself out.

Like

there's hazards either way.

The children you have to think of the children claudia no and i constantly am and i believe it was jenna maroney who once said i believe the children are our future

that was a hot take that the children are our future literally i know it's highly debatable

we've got a great show this is an audio only extravagaganza which we love a little summer friday energy totally um The stories you were telling me before, they're not, you know, like groundbreaking, but I feel like those, I say this every time, I feel like those types of stories make the best episodes yeah we're just kind of rounding out the week some things are follow-ups some things are just you know what's in the zeitgeist

and i look forward to discussing with my favorite swirly and between you know my book club the summer i turned pretty i'm so behind on my tv i haven't watched the new kardashians and i haven't watched the new sex in the city um

and i will i will be doing that okay i watched the new kardashians last night and it was like

it on the whole exact was watching with me he hadn't seen it yet And like, he wasn't loving this season.

I'm like, it's not about the storylines.

Like, there's so much tea, like, in the in-between of what's going on that, like, you have to, like, watch between the lines a little bit.

But I actually came up with a really good example of the Dolce

Gate saga and like, how would you feel?

Like, like, in our family?

In our family.

Oh, okay, go.

Okay.

So I got married at the Pierre.

right?

Yeah.

My whole wedding was like, it was a Pierre weekend.

Like I was.

Very Eloise, like New York, old New York.

Like, I was just like, I mean, the difference is they didn't, like, pay me to have it there.

I paid them, but whatever.

Like, you know, I really, like, that was like, really, my whole

you paid that.

I paid that.

That was like my whole wedding vibe.

Was like the Pierre.

Aesthetic.

Aesthetic, you know, that was

a big part of Zacchio.

So say I had my wedding at the Pierre.

They, like, loved having the family there, and they, it was really good for them.

And then a few months later, like, they wanted to make you the face of the Pierre and do like a whole like Eloise at turdy at the Pierre vibe and like you were gonna be their new like spokesperson.

Face.

Sounds amazing.

Okay.

Sounds amazing.

Like, yeah, would I be allowed to be like have some feelings about that?

By the way, if it happened now, I feel like you wouldn't have feelings about it.

If it happens four months after the wedding, right?

Yeah, four months after the wedding.

Yeah, because now it's like, yeah, that sounds awesome.

Why couldn't I do that?

Right, but four months after the wedding.

Six years.

Yeah, no, I'm like, is this bitch seriously?

I think she would be mad right now.

Because like,

if the Pierre calls, I'm answering.

Right.

No, four months after the wedding, like, I'm riding the high of my wedding.

You can't talk about my wedding without like talking about the Pierre.

And they, like, loved working with our family so much, like, that they want to make you the face of the Pierre.

I get it.

No, I, that's a good example.

And that, and I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it, and I don't think anyone was saying Kim shouldn't do it, but Courtney's like allowed to have some feelings about it.

That's fair.

Because, in a perfect world, like, it would be her,

right?

And in a weird way, like, it should have been, but, and you know what?

Like, like, it could have been.

I guess like she's not fashion girly.

Like Kim's whole life, and I feel like over the last few years, like her mission, even though she's accomplished so many things, has been to be taken seriously, to be a fixture in the fashion community, to be given respect.

So, and Courtney doesn't care about stuff like that.

Courtney doesn't go to fashion week, like Courtney doesn't care.

But like, I guess it could have been Courtney, but like, it wouldn't have been so major.

Yeah, but it's like, it actually would have been, I mean, it could have been Courtney.

It would have been very different, but it also would have been very like congruous.

It was like Courtney's wedding, and then it's like the wedding looks, and here's all the other synergy.

It would have been a lot of synergy.

No, I totally get it.

I can't wait to see.

I know that the girls in this episode actually like sit down.

No, they don't.

So they said in next week's, and like last week, they said next week's episode, like we're getting the conversation between Kim and Courtney.

There was no conversation.

They talked about having a conversation.

Kim, I mean, Courtney, Chloe, and Simon did.

And then it looks like next week the story's kind of over.

And I think that they cut the combo.

Well, because I saw footage like that was being teased in a trailer of they were in Kim's bedroom sitting on Kim's bed.

We did not get that scene in this episode and last week they said we were getting that scene.

That means like it's still unresolved.

Yeah.

Damn.

No, something, and then I saw a bunch of people on TikTok clipping just like different, not like major storyline moments from the episode, but like, you know, if you, it's like the subtext of it.

Like

the subtext of these episodes is really interesting.

Even the fact that they had a huge birthday thing for Kim.

She had the birthday dinner that Chloe planned.

And then the next day, like Chloe and the crew, like the mom crew that they're all friends with, were going to Vegas to see Usher.

And like, Courtney wasn't there.

I'm sure she was invited, but like, why doesn't she hang out with them?

Well, you know, they're in like such different places.

Like, I feel like Courtney's in her like nesting, especially now that she's pregnant, but like her, you know, newlywed stepmom

blended life.

And Courtney and Courtney and Kim, especially Kim, it's like Kim's getting out of like a big marriage.

She's like free woman, single girl era.

Like it really is such different places in your life for like a woman who's 40, you know?

Yeah, but the thing is it wasn't, it was just a, an evening.

And the night before they were at Kim's birthday dinner.

So they're in town.

It's just a few hours.

Like the kids are already asleep.

Like if she like, it's just like they're not hanging like friends like they used to.

Yeah.

I also feel like Courtney's probably in a place right now with her marriage because it's like so new and they're so honeymoon where she doesn't want to do stuff without her husband.

And that was clearly like a girl's night, right?

Yeah.

And I do think most of those girls are single.

Right.

You know, we've all been there.

Like you don't want to leave.

Like, I get it.

Yeah, but like we're, okay, if you were like taking a PJ, I know that's not a big deal for them to like Vegas.

Like if it's me, shut up.

Like, I'm, oh, Ben, something's happening and you're not invited.

See you later.

Smell you later.

Like, I don't, no, I don't even need to like vet it.

I'm like, oh, we're flying frontier.

I'll be there.

Literally.

And it was like a really cute evening that she she had planned, but then they couldn't land the plane because of the wind.

So they had to go back to LA and they went to In N Out.

That sounds fun too.

Yeah.

Also fun.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, I'm going to watch that.

And all the TV I missed.

I'm going to catch up this weekend.

And programming update.

We are back.

from July 4th weekend on Wednesday.

So you will not have toast Monday, Tuesday.

I don't think people will care because I think, I think the corporate girlies might be working Monday, but they're definitely not working Tuesday.

They're definitely not working Tuesday.

No.

Oh, also, follow up up from yesterday's episode where we like talked endlessly about holidays and dates and how exciting next year is going to be because July 4th is on a Tuesday this year.

And that means next year it's going to be on a Wednesday, thus giving us like pretty much the entire week off.

Not true.

Actually, next year's leap year, so it's a Thursday.

I think that's better.

I think with a Wednesday, we could have fallen into a really bad place where we're working Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday.

And it's like, oh, you know what?

That's a very good call.

Right.

And I think with Thursday, it's surefire.

We have a four-day weekend.

And you know what?

Let's not get greedy.

You're kind of in your putting a positive spin on a negative situation era.

Like you keep doing that.

And I'm living for every moment of it.

So I think this is a really good thing.

Plus, a leap year, exciting.

Eh, not really, but I'm trying to put a positive spin.

So true.

But think about like babies who are born on leap day.

You're kind of like in recent years, kind of in your, no, not in recent months, like in your bed rest era, giving Alec Baldwin when he cameoed on friends and he's like toxically positive.

I feel like people would say the opposite of me right now.

Like I'm definitely in the hater era.

No, no, maybe a few months ago you were in your hater era and I can respect and relate to anyone in their hater era because I can stoop as low as anyone else.

But now I feel like every time you're telling me stuff, like you're, you're like changing my mind like when I'm being negative.

You're literally about to call the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle, you know?

Well, forgive me for trying to put a positive spin on a negative situation.

That's so true.

I just want to say like for me, I'm just always, you know, saying what comes to mind.

Like, I don't feel like I'm in a positive era or a negative at any given time.

If anything, I would think I would be in like a negative era.

One, right now.

Right now.

But I guess you're saying I'm positive.

So I'm positive.

But like, I hate everything.

You do.

You know, like, I hate television, but that's not me.

You're definitely still like being toxically negative when it comes to recapping television.

I don't think I'm being toxically negative.

Like, I sit down to these television shows looking to be entertained.

Like, I'm not looking to be made upset and feel like my time has been wasted.

So I'm so glad you brought that up.

What?

We need to talk about what happened.

Like, I don't know when I said it, like a week ago.

Maybe, maybe it was at the beginning of the week.

You know, I have no concept of time.

I just was recapping a show that I had heard about.

You know, everyone was talking about the bear.

Yeah.

And I said that I didn't think it was very good.

And the way of like people, like there was like a wave of like talks,

first of all, of hate.

Like, first of all, people started leaving reviews.

I can't believe they said they didn't like the bear.

People then like took it as like, well, clearly Claudia wouldn't like the bear.

She's so privileged.

She couldn't possibly understand what it's like to work in food service.

What?

Like it's literally a TV show.

Like the people who like stand the bear were triggered.

Like it was giving former toaster like 2019 energy.

Like it was psychotic.

You guys like I'm allowed to not like a show and it doesn't mean well Claudia obviously doesn't respect people who work in food service, so it makes sense.

Are you kidding me?

No, it's really crazy.

And you never know when you're just going to kind kind of like step on a landlord like that.

And like what shows just have these cult followings that can't handle a different opinion.

Right.

And I didn't say that people, I didn't say that people who work in food service don't deserve respect.

Did I say acting like it's a documentary about food service industry?

It's not a real restaurant.

Oh, and then speaking of totally random, I saw a tweet last night.

I have not been able to stop thinking about.

Sure.

Jeremy Allen White

is the work wait hold on wait I don't want to fuck it why don't you search it and I'll just caveat by saying like whatever you're about to say like it's not gonna mean a lot to me because I don't know him okay fine but someone does yeah everyone does Jeremy Allen White is the working man's Timothy Chalamet

Okay, and it's such a good call if you like know about his previous roles and just also the way that he looks because like you know Timothy Chalamet is very like highbrow actor French vibes.

You know, he wears like little culottes and loafers.

And Jeremy Allen White is like very, you know, high, high-profile actor, like, does these really, you know, serious acting roles, but he's always playing like a working man, you know?

Yeah.

Usually based in Chicago.

I thought it was a great call.

Great.

Yeah.

Just wanted to share that with anyone who might care.

I love when there's a great call that Jeremy just sums up a situation.

Same.

And like puts your thoughts into words.

yeah yeah you know

um

okay

so i guess without further ado yeah let's get into the fast five stories that you need to know

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Lululemon.

Lululemon and specifically Lululemon shorts were made to stretch, flex, and support the infinite ways of working out, giving you the courage to leap into something totally new and totally unexpected.

So Lululemon, we know, is the go-to destination for everything this summer, but specifically shorts, because they are all made to last they're made super well we love the hottie hot short which is their short with a comfortable range of motion and a really flattering fit they allow you to max your stride so you can move freely with confidence the lightweight swift fabric lets in airflow so you can move around without any sweat without any baggage it's designed to wake away sweat before you even notice it's there you can also carry your essentials in the two perfectly placed very discreet looking pockets also we love the wonder train short, which is their short with a supportive stretch that keeps you dry.

It's powered by Everlux fabric.

So the Wonder Train Collection manages heat and sweat so you're staying comfortable and focused.

The material is sweat-wicking, quick-drying.

It absorbs moisture and wicks sweat away during the most intense training or, you know, just the most intense sweaty day.

You know, some of us aren't training, but we're still sweating.

They also have great shorts for men.

The pacebreaker short is versatile.

The lightweight fabric means that you can train, move, and stretch how you want to without the baggage.

The secure storage means that you can keep things close without feeling everything bounce around.

So it's that time of year.

We got to be investing in good shorts because we're sweating.

We've got creases and crevices, galore down there.

So get into Lululemon shorts at lululemon.com.

That's L-U-L-U-L-E-M-O-N.com.

Lululemon.com.

I've been loving their shorts during this, you know, undercarriage season.

You know what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Barkbox, which is so exciting because Barkbox is a brand new sponsor and I have been a Barkbox subscriber since the day Theo walked into my life and he literally just walked into my life.

Hi, Angel Man.

Let me think.

I got Theo in 2017, and I think before he even arrived, I had subscribed to Barkbox because I had heard so many fabulous things about it.

Barkbox is a monthly themed box of original toys, delicious treats, and unleashed joy.

Every box is tailored to your dog's unique needs and personality, and it's designed to make them happy.

Barkbox is made by Bark, the dog-obsessed company with one goal.

Make dogs as happy as they make us.

And playtime isn't just for pups.

It's for our pup parents too.

Every Barkbox is designed to bring dogs and their humans together.

Opening your monthly BarkBox becomes a special tradition for the whole family it's also hard to beat the value and convenience of bark box you know if you're a dog parent you constantly have to be buying new treats because they eat them all new toys because they destroy them the bark box is such a convenient thing whenever it comes theo literally dies and the themes are so cute like on valentine's day theo got like a valentine box it was so cute and you know he doesn't have a girlfriend right now he's kind of like between partner so it really made him feel seen it was giving valentine's day energy honestly

every theme they like partner with like different movies and they'll do like different themed it's the cutest thing thing.

And then you actually like logistically don't have to buy treats every month, don't have to buy toys every month.

And it's just nice to have it because I'm constantly cycling them out.

You know, I have to throw away the ones that Theo destroys.

If I say for Shreisand, Barkbox, we're kind of new to Barkbox and I realized I needed to get it because Harry has so many toys and like Bruno does not have that many toys as Harry does and he always wants to steal his toys.

So I got Bruno on Barkbox.

I'm like, you have your things, your brother has his things, and Bruno is just in heaven.

And now, of course, Harry wants Bruno's toys.

Sign up now and Barkbox will double your first box for free.

That's twice the toys, treats, and shoes.

And so to start, to start spoiling your dog, visit barkbox.com slash toast.

That's a really good, that's a good sponsor.

I'm like, I'm excited about that.

Yeah, Bruno's right here, and he's like wagging his tail.

He's like, mom, you killed it.

You killed the ad.

You killed the ad, mom.

Are you ready for our next story?

Our first story.

Yeah, I'm not ready for the next one.

In no particular order today, I would say.

Okay.

But I would say some big news of the day is that Olivia Rodrigo's new single, Vampire, is here.

And she's spilling the tea and talking about how it's helped her with feelings of regret and anger.

So her single Vampire and the video are out now.

She posted on Instagram, I made it with my very talented and wonderful friend.

Writing the song helped me through lots of feelings of regret, anger, and heartache.

It's one of my favorite songs on the album, and it felt very cathartic to finish.

I'm so happy it's in your hands now, and I hope it helps you deal with any blood suckers in your life.

Yeah, so

highly anticipated second album.

She just announced it's called Guts, Guts.

And she's clearly going for like a four-letter motif, you know, sour guts.

And the first single off of it just came out last night.

I listened to it once, you know, she's got away with words.

She's a very talented lyricist.

Like she gives kind of pop punk energy, like Casey Musgrave's vibes.

Oh, I wasn't getting Casey Musgrave's vibes, but you know what I was?

No, I mean, I'm sorry, just in terms of like her, her actual writing, not anything having to do with like the beat.

Got it.

I actually, I was listening.

I listened to Vampire once.

Very nice.

I liked the beat, and the lyrics were obviously very pointed and personal.

But I was listening to Kelly's album again and again.

And some of her songs were actually giving me like Olivia Rodrigo vibes because I guess they're both like, you know, pissed at a man.

And woman.

Yeah.

You know, and they've both been like taken advantage of.

They should collab, honestly.

They're in kind of the same era, but like Kelly's like the

millennial version of Gen Z's Olivia Rodrigo.

That's actually a very stunning comparison, and I like that a lot.

I also fell down a rabbit hole, specifically on Liz Heights' Instagram story, where people were just trying to break down like what this song is about.

And I think immediately people went to her ex-boyfriend, whose name is escaping me because he's not like super famous.

Because, you know, she writes about love.

But there is this like theory floating around that perhaps the song could be about Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo's like kind of fractured relationship.

We don't have any confirmation that it's fractured, but there's weirdness going on.

I don't think it's that.

You know, there is like a lyric that feels like a direct response to a lyric from an old Taylor Swift song because baby I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me.

There's a, you know, a lyric about, you know, bricks in a castle.

It's a stretch for sure, but I'm loving the journey.

I don't know.

It felt very much like about an ex-boyfriend and how all the girls called, like said that he was.

something and she said thought they were crazy.

You know, like it just, it felt, I feel like people are looking into it too much.

Also, I saw that it was released today, which would have been their two-year anniversary.

Yes.

I'm going in the direction of that guy.

Also, because

he's a bloodsucker fame fucker.

I guess if you're feeling really nasty, you could say that about Taylor.

Yeah, no, that doesn't apply.

To Taylor.

No.

No, on its face, it sounds like something you would say about like a clout chasing boyfriend, but.

Whose name we literally can't even remember right now because he's not even famous.

Right.

But like, maybe we could do some mental gymnastics to make it about to get there.

I would call Taylor a blood-sucking fame fucker.

And I also think if she wrote a song about like the dissolution of her relationship with Taylor, it would come more from a place of like sadness and disappointment than anger and regret.

Yeah, by the way, I don't want it to be about that.

I'm just like, you know, some people moved and have moved on in their life.

Like I think daily about like what the hell happened between those two.

Like they were so fast and so furious and then silence.

and then there was that whole thing about how you know she sampled new year's day in one of her songs on sour it happened with a bunch of her songs on sour where she like referenced either lyrics or melody and she didn't properly credit like haley um

paramour what the hell is her name why am i blanking

thank you

Hailey Williams.

And then she, you know, had to afterwards, you know, put proper credits and list them as songwriters and, you know, give them publishing rights.

So there was like a little weirdness there, even though at first we were like, oh, that's such a sweet nod to, you know, her inspirations, but they weren't properly credited.

And there was like kind of like a legal thing with the labels.

So there's just like a lot.

I thought the Paramore thing, it was like an accident.

Like the song just happened to sound a lot like

so much so that she had to list them as songwriters.

And then with Taylor, I believe she like sampled the piano

melody from New Year's Day off the Reputation album, and it also wasn't properly like sourced and credited.

Got it.

That's messy.

And like,

where's your record label?

Like, this is an amateur hour.

No, there was some, but I don't think they were expecting.

Actually, they were, but I just think, I just think like I'm, I believe they're smoke.

You know, I don't think I'm being dramatic.

I feel like it's not that surprising.

I, I, cause I feel like Taylor, like, meets people, gets really excited about them, and then, you know, people go on with their lives.

And

yeah, but then, like, they're like 10 years apart.

Like, what are they going to be doing together?

But then if you really, if you really did, like, want to keep looking into it, like, you know, shortly after Olivia Rodrigo's album, Taylor did Red Taylor's version, where she released a deeply personal song called Nothing New.

And it wasn't really, it was not about Taylor.

It was not about Olivia Rodrigo.

It's about the whole concept about, you know, as a woman in the industry, like growing and getting older is like your biggest fear because you're not going to be the shiny and new thing.

And in the bridge of that, she sings,

I know someday I'm going to meet her.

It's a fever dream.

The kind of radiance you only have at 17.

She'll know the way and then she'll say she got the map from me.

I'll say I'm happy for her, then I'll cry myself to sleep.

And they're like, it's about this, you know, hypothetical ingenue, the next big thing in pop who'll come up to Taylor and be like, oh my God, everything I could do because of you.

And Taylor will like be happy for her, but she'll also hate her.

And it does kind of fit the profile of like Olivia Rodrigo.

But it doesn't feel pointed.

It's not pointed.

Yeah.

And she did say she was happy for her and then maybe she cried herself to sleep, right?

Like, you know, they're constantly pitting women against each other in this industry.

You can, there can be like one, you know, famous woman at a time.

No, that's not true, but okay.

Okay, okay.

There's so many.

We talk about every day is another famous woman.

Like, Loya, okay.

We only talk about, I mean, we're also just like, you know, women who support other women, but we literally only talk about famous women.

That's true.

It's true.

All I'm saying is.

Do you think Olivia Rodrigo is the next Taylor Swift?

Hmm.

Well, you know,

actually, like, maybe a few years ago, I would have said that.

Like,

but I think the next Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift.

Like, she's bigger than she's ever been.

Like, I don't, I don't even look past Taylor, you know?

Yeah.

Somebody asked me that the other day.

I forget what I said.

I had like three cocktails and I gave a bad answer.

I think I said like Casey Musgraves.

What did they ask you?

They were like, okay, well, like, you know, who, who's like the next big up and coming?

Like, who's going to be as big as Taylor?

Because that was, I was, we were all like drinking and I was like playing Taylor for everyone being like toxic.

Like, and then she says this, just trying to make them understand.

Cause I think one of the guys at the dinner I was at was like, look, yeah, like all she does is write songs about like heartbreak.

And I just had to like give him a whole fucking lesson, you know?

And I was being toxic and I made everyone come back to my room and put music on and gave like a full lesson.

And you know what?

It was really impactful.

And then he was asking questions.

He was like, wow, I was so wrong.

And he was like, well, who do you think?

Like, he got really involved.

So I think it was a successful.

And you said Casey Musgraves?

Jackie, I was really, like, I had had like maybe four or five margaritas.

Because you want to know who I think it is?

Hmm.

Not necessarily the next Taylor Swift, but we're always like, you know, the next, like, Carrie Underwood.

And it's always like, we've been saying Kelsey Ballerini for 10 years.

And that's just like, they're just two different people.

Right.

I think the next big

country export is Megan Maroney.

You mean to cross over into pop?

Yeah, and just like to go all the way.

I think it's a little too soon to tell with her, honestly.

No, it's too soon to tell.

That's why you call it now.

Cause if we could tell, then like it wouldn't be a call.

You'd just be stating the obvious.

Damn, facts.

Harsh, but facts.

So those are my, that's what I was thinking.

Like, I follow her on Instagram.

Her stories just like give off, like, you know, tailored 15 years ago, like doing these shows and her dresses and like saying these things

that she wrote from her heart.

But I also think there's just like so much more to pull from over the next like 10 years.

That's fair cool.

It's fair cool.

So that I'm just going to put that out there.

Put it out.

Put it in the book.

Anyways, check out Vampire.

Miss

Olivia is not happy.

No.

Are you ready for our next story?

Raquel Levis is finally in talks for Vanderpump Royal Season 11 Return, says a report.

Raquel is finally in talks to return to the show as filming resumed earlier this week, according to a report.

The reality star that has been at the center of Scandoval drama that propelled the show to new heights is reportedly negotiating with Bravo on a deal to return to season 11.

Sources tell TMZ that talks haven't been all that smooth, though, as several insiders report of complications and sealing the deal.

Yeah, I mean, I think it would take,

first of all, they really need her.

They really need her.

I feel, you know, like I'm straddling the fence of wanting to be entertained, but also being like a human being with sympathy and feelings and knowing that this is like the wrong place for a girl in her state.

I do think though the tides

will turn and have turned and I don't think the girls will attack her as much as they have been.

I think they felt a little bit of the fans being like, all right, like calm down a little bit, especially after we saw her break down.

So I don't know.

They need her in order.

No one's going to film with Sandoval.

So I think, like, I don't even think Tom Schwartz would at this point.

Like he's so concerned with saving face.

I don't really know how the show moves forward without her or at least this storyline if we want to continue talking about this.

Yeah.

I think it would move on.

We'd move on from it faster, even though Sandoval will always be on the show and it will just be about him.

The girls aren't really going to want to film with her either.

Like maybe Sheena would do one more scene like talking about the betrayal and the restraining order, but it is kind of a dead end.

I hope that if she does go back to the show, she demands so much money

that maybe she could just do one more season and then go into like TV, reality TV retirement, which is where I think she should be.

Yeah, and I also think Bravo should really give her whatever she wants.

They need her.

In terms of money?

They need her because they want to keep milking the Scandival cow and they really can't do that without both of them.

No, and the Scandival

has

absolutely brought...

Bravo back from almost the dead.

Like, I think there was like a, like,

there was a period where it was just like the ratings were so down, especially for this show.

I don't think whatever she's asking for could be too much.

No, no.

Do you see the caliber of advertisers by the finale?

Like, you have money.

Right.

I think that, like, you know, when we think about the highest paid women on Bravo, we think of like Denise Richards doing four seasons, two seasons for $4 million.

I think like Teresa, Lisa Vanderpump at one point, like the most you can really get Ramona was a million dollars for a season.

And I don't think that's a lot of money.

money like give it to Raquel yeah I wonder if they would give her more than the highest paid cast members because I think right now the highest paid cast members are Katie and Tom Sandoval and Sheena yep yeah like the original principal characters who've been getting raises every year yeah that's true like how does Raquel like do this horrible thing and then end up getting paid more than everyone else including Ariana yeah I don't know get being paid more, but maybe she could get on equal footing with them because she's probably one of the lowest paid cast members.

She's only been a main character for like three years.

But I just want to say, I don't think getting paid the same as like whatever Katie's getting paid is enough for her to put herself through this again.

That's the thing.

I think I have to imagine at this point, the OG principal characters can't be making more

than maybe $40,000 an episode.

Okay, let me get my calculator because they do what, like 22 episodes?

I don't know.

Yeah, I think they do.

40,000 times 22.

Oh, that's actually almost a million dollars.

It's 880.

Yeah, I think she could negotiate for a million dollars for the season.

Me too, but it would just then be crazy that she would be the highest paid person on the cast when she's really been on it the shortest.

She is in the wrong, you know?

Yeah.

It's interesting.

Like she's getting rewarded for bad behavior, but honestly, at this point, I feel like she's been through so much.

Like, give her the money.

Yeah.

and it's entertaining.

It's television.

Like, you know, it's not the moral center.

Purpose show.

You know, like, this is how it works.

You get rewarded for bad behavior.

I do think she's been punished thoroughly.

Yeah.

And if they want her to put herself back in what is not a good situation for her mental health, then that's going to cost you.

No, you know what, Jax?

I agree.

It's economics.

It's simple math.

Yeah.

Well, I do selfishly want to see her on the show, but like as a woman and a human being, like I actually really fear for her.

Yeah, and I also would be okay with like moving on from.

I personally feel ready to move on from Scandival.

I know I'm probably in the minority on that.

Like, you know, all the Bravo accounts, like, everyone's still living for like every morsel of tea that comes from it.

Like, I would be fine moving on from it, like, accepting the season for what it was, which was like a juggernaut of craziness.

And then seeing like how the cast wants to rise to the occasion now that they've expelled these two people

it ain't gonna happen but yeah you know like i would be okay with that but i don't think you're alone in that i yeah i am alone in that but that's just a little bit about you that's just a little about me i'm always alone turded loo uh no i got my turd i'm okay and i got stri-san

stri sand

Are you ready for our next story?

A little more TV news?

Yes.

A little more negotiating news.

Because Vanna White is in negotiations to remain on Wheel of Fortune, hosted by Ryan Seacrest.

So Vanna White doesn't seem likely to say goodbye to Wheel of Fortune just yet.

Speculation has been swirling, swirly twirlies, regarding her future with the popular game show, following longtime host Pat Sajak's announcement that he is retiring after 41 seasons, followed up by confirmation that Ryan Seacrest will take over hosting duties.

First, I never, I didn't get to the part in Wednesday's episode where you talked about Ryan Seacrest taking over.

What were your thoughts?

Well, everyone, we were saying how everyone's like, oh, this is an uninspired choice, yada, yada.

But we really felt like, honestly, it's a job for a proper host.

It's a job you have for life.

He quit Kelly and Ryan.

I have to imagine that has something to do with this.

I actually think it films in LA.

So I think he actually could do this.

Wheel of Fortune, yes, it's on every day, but it's not one of those shows.

It's filmed in the matter of like two weeks for the entire year.

Yeah, they bank the episode.

They bank.

It's not relevant topical stuff.

They don't need to be filming every week.

So I actually think his plate, I know everyone's like, Ryan, go to sleep.

He's a hardworking person.

And I actually think this fits into his schedule.

And I think he is America's host.

And I think Pat Sajak is a beloved figure.

And I think Ryan Seacrest could be that.

So I'm here for it, even though it's like, it's like, duh.

But we had a longer conversation about like, what does this mean for Vanna?

Because this is clearly ushering in like a new generation and a new era of Wheel of Fortune.

Does that mean Vanna gets the boot?

Well, so she's still talking about.

And they bring on like an Instagram model?

They're still talking about keeping her.

I think the right way to do it is to keep her with Ryan for a little bit.

Let us get used to Ryan.

And then when Vanna wants to go to then make that change.

I agree.

Like, it doesn't have to be all of a sudden like, this is the new Wheel of Fortune.

And it's like, no, Wheel of Fortune like works really nice the way that it is.

41 seasons.

It's fucking crazy.

Like, let's, if it ain't broke, don't try and fix it.

I agree.

I think it'll make it a lot easier for the people who, you know, tune in because they love Vanna and Pat for the last 50 years.

I think it'll be a much easier, you know, changing of the guard transition if they do it 50% now, 50% later.

Yeah.

And I'm sure it would also be nice for Ryan to have someone so seasoned there who can help him.

It'd be nice, though, if him and Julianne Huff had worked out and then Julianne could have been the Vanna White.

Yeah.

You know, dancing and sacheting to the letters.

Yeah, I wonder who would, I mean, that's an amazing job when it does come available.

That's Vanna White.

I feel like nobody talks about how she has the best job in Hollywood.

She's a household name.

Literally, everyone knows her name.

She doesn't have to do anything.

She doesn't have to speak.

She doesn't have to like give her opinions and get, you know, canceled for what her take is because she didn't like the bear.

Like, she's winning.

Vanna stays winning.

Yeah.

So we need a model who has pizzazz, who's not really known for like something that we're just going to always think of her as like something else.

No, honestly, I genuinely think a no-name who has a, that's also the thing about Vanna White.

She's like this different, cool Vanna white like you need someone with a great name who can wear a dress and not speak it's not

it's not a talent-based job it's like a branding based job but you also have to have like this inner light that vanna has this inner light this intangible thing you can't just have like some mopey model walking across the stage no but you also need a model with a great name i don't even know if vanna was a model like you need

honestly in another life

okay in another life if things had worked out differently for so many people, this would have been an amazing job for Megan Markle.

After she did deal or no deal, she has this amazing name, Megan Markle, Vanna White.

Like, you know what I mean?

She's got that.

They always say she has that Markle sparkle.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Of course, she's, you know, above it now.

But if things had worked out differently for her after like suits and dealer no deal, this would have been the job for Megan Markle.

No, you, this is the best call you've ever made.

No, I can't believe I actually made a good call because I make the worst ones.

This is

what could have been.

Yeah.

No, that's it.

Case closed.

Moving on.

I mean, you never know.

No, I think we do know.

I think we do know.

I don't know what's next for them.

Their stock is plummeting.

I know.

It's like everyone woke up one day and was like, we're done with them.

Yeah.

You know what?

I think the American people, it's going to be a hot take, ready?

I think the American people, like an American culture, really respects hard work.

And for this latest news, where like their podcast, like you got $20 million and you had to sit down and record episodes, and like, you didn't even do that.

It's like, damn, do you know what I would do for $20 million?

Everyone's like, come on.

Yeah, wait, did you read Barry Weiss had a newsletter article about like the demise of Megan and Harry.

And that's literally what the author said.

That like, oh, really?

That it's about their lack of hard work.

Oh my God.

I just want to say I subscribe to Barry Weiss's newsletter.

I do.

And I swear to God, I did not read that.

I'm not going to lie.

Like I said, I support, I subscribe to support, but like I'm not, they come so early in the morning.

I don't think I've literally ever read one because I just see one.

I'm like, read it, bitch.

Yeah, but I don't read them.

They're like very thought-provoking.

You know me.

Like, I got to avoid thought at all.

I swear to God, I just came up with what I did.

I did not read it.

I didn't read the view.

I just needed to, like, that was literally the author's thesis.

She was like, you know,

a Harry and Megan Stan when everything happened and then like just devolved into like everyone sort of turned on them.

And her thesis was like that.

It's the lack of hard work.

Oh my God.

Not me coming up with like the same thought as like

a thinker, you know?

As a thinker.

Yeah.

I, this is, by the way, I'm two for two today.

Like this is that saved my life.

Yeah.

That's so funny.

But no, um the podcast of the not doing the interviews with the non-famous people and that's what I feel like we never clarified because Andy was like, no, I said

I did when you were off the show.

I said that like it's entirely possible like what Andy's saying is true and what this professor is saying is true.

Like yeah, Megan didn't think it was worth her time for this non-famous person to interview and so she dubbed her her vocals in that episode.

But I believe Andy and I believe that she sat down with Andy and Mariah Carrey and Paris Hilton.

Yeah.

No, it just feels like in the last few weeks like all this stuff, like negative stuff and people are just like talking so negatively about them.

Whereas like no one would do that for the last few years.

Even Dumois like posted like a thing.

Um, and people are saying that their marriage is suffering, but I don't know.

I feel like that's a low, that's like an easy, low thing to say.

I don't know if you're not.

I don't know that I believe that, but then Dumois posted a blind, like, she never posts about Harry and Megan.

I don't know if you ever noticed that really.

I'm sure she gets so many tips, but she had said when she came on the toast, like, it's just not worth talking about them because their fans are just like so vicious, they'll just call you like sexist and racist.

Um, but so she posted someone right, like a tip, like, Harry and Megan aren't doing well.

And she was like, There's a lot of noise about this now.

Oh, I don't know.

I see that on like these royal TikTok accounts.

I don't believe it because I've watched a lot of what they've put out and I had thoughts on all of it.

But one of my, always my major takeaway is like, these are two people who are deeply in love.

The same.

I agree.

And at this point,

it would not behoove them to have marital troubles.

Like, honestly.

No, get it together.

And at this point, like, one of the biggest things that they have is each other.

Yeah.

And by the way, if they didn't, I think it would be so isolating for both of them.

I think if anything, they're toxically attached and dependent on one another because they need each other.

Like they're so

removed from

even like Hollywood.

They're too famous.

Like they don't go out to dinners and go to parties.

Like they have each other and they live on these big pieces of property and they have that family.

And I think that

I think that they love each other deeply.

And I think that they also really need each other.

Yeah, I agree.

So, I don't think that I believe in their love.

Like, I really do.

I do, but I also could imagine that having this like professional trouble right now might put a

damper on things, might be hard times, but like, I think they're very committed to each other.

I don't think anything's coming between them anytime soon.

Me neither.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little more TV news that I know you're upset about.

Oh my God, I'm so fucking upset.

The other two is ending at max

amid.

What the fuck?

Well, so rumors, it might be, these might be two separate things happening, but there have been HR complaints.

So insiders say that the show's creators.

No, I literally, Jackie, I read the headline and I threw my phone across the room.

Like, I didn't even read this article.

So it came out that the show was ending literally, last night's episode was the last episode.

Now, insiders say that the show's creators were the subject of staff complaints and a formal investigation, though ultimately cleared of wrongdoing.

So these just could be like two separate things that are happening.

But

the show being canceled, like, does leave you with questions.

So if this was the only thing that was happening,

I'm so sorry.

But

I don't believe it's about HR.

No, and please, do you know how many problematic people are on television?

Like these two were actually cleared.

Like there was an investigation.

So it's like we're blaming that.

But like, you know, whoever is on every show and the idol, did you see what they were saying about what was going on at the idol?

Like, please spare me.

Yeah.

I'm so upset.

And this doesn't feel like, you know, every show we like, nobody likes and it gets canceled.

You know, like, I get that.

I feel like everybody watches this show.

Like, when I posted it on my Instagram, people I knew personally, message fans, like toasters in the DMs, everyone is like, what the fuck?

This is like a show going out at its height.

I think the first season and the second season were like kind of quiet.

And then people fell in love with the show recently and binge it.

Like, I don't know why you would cancel a show with this much momentum.

When you think about all the crap on HBO, do it!

And just like that next, okay?

No, I agree with you.

I feel like now's the time where it's been popping off and it's also very respected like in the industry and even if you watch the show like you can tell it's like very it's kind of like entourage-y.

Oh, yeah, I guess, but no, like it's very elevated, like and they're, it's very like poking fun in itself.

So I feel like the and poking fun at the industry.

So I feel like the industry would keep propping it up because it's just like a funny industry show.

No, and like people in the industry go on the show and play themselves.

That's why it reminds me of entourage.

Yeah, so something is definitely sucked.

I'm so fucking upset.

Like, my God, I can't have anything not to make it about me, but like, come on.

Now you know how I feel.

It's no, but like when you love a show and it gets canceled, it's like, cause nobody watches it.

Like, let's be real, not to be rude.

Like, at least, okay, yeah, that sucks, but like, just flipping it, like, at least you have people to commiserate with.

Like, when it happens to me, I'm alone.

That's true.

But, like, this, I'm just left with confusion.

Like, you don't cancel shows that do well.

No.

Not unless like the main character wants to go, but there's like.

Or somebody dies.

Yeah.

But I feel like they actually don't cancel when somebody dies.

They just like try and keep it alive.

Yeah.

I'm just like,

this is, this sucks.

This is ruining my July 4th.

Wow.

And no one's more upset about this than Ben.

Wow.

I wonder if Zach knows yet, because we've been watching it.

Yeah.

I think he's caught up.

What was like nothing?

He definitely has one more episode.

Nothing these days is like actually funny and like really makes me giggle.

And I just look we can't have anything.

No, but you can have in just like that in the idol though.

Thanks so much.

Thank you.

You should start watching that.

Thanks.

No, that's exactly the one that I wanted.

Good because it's the one you got.

Actually.

Well, I'm sorry that this is happening to you.

I'm here

if you need tools to help get through.

Yeah.

No, I'm kind of in like the denial phase.

It's a good place to wait.

I'll stay here for a while.

It's also hard to find that out like while you're literally watching the show because like say like the season ended and then in a year and a half they're like, it's not coming back.

Like it wouldn't feel so raw.

But it also feels like the rug was kind of pulled out from underneath them.

And however this season ended, it's not how the creators intended for the story and the characters lives to end for us.

Like

so they didn't even get to say goodbye.

Like at least you get when you know your show is ended, you get to say goodbye in a meaningful way and like wrap up loose ends.

I feel like they probably thought they were going to be back in a few months for the next season and they didn't finish.

Right, of course.

That ends on a cliffhanger.

Right.

I'm sorry.

I'm like two episodes behind and now I'm going to save the fuck out of them.

Yeah.

Are we ready for our fifth and final story, which is just kind of some debate news?

Okay.

Because Heinz has sparked debate on whether or not ketchup should be refrigerated.

What?

Yep.

Obviously it should.

Condiment enthusiasts are up in arms about whether or not ketchup should be stored in the fridge.

On Tuesday, the Heinz UK Twitter account tweeted the company's hard stance on where the tomato-based condiment belongs.

They said, FYI,

ketchup goes in the fridge.

Okay, because you know what?

If they said that it didn't, I would be like, ew.

I'm sure, I'm sure that ketchup is like full of preservatives.

And if I left it in the pantry, it would be fine.

Like, but I don't need Heinz telling me that because if they're saying like it is, you know, shelf stable when it's it's supposed to be fresh tomatoes like ew ew but the the commenters disagreed they said no it doesn't you stick to production and i'll stick to consumption they said wait hold on they said if it was meant to be in the fridge they'd put it there at supermarkets no that's an amazing call no it's not because so many things are refrigerate upon opening true tomato sauce every like so many things there are shelf you know like good call good call like it's sealed when you get it you have to take that plastic cap off i'm like so obviously i want people to sound off in the comments like do you keep your refrigerator where yeah where do you keep your ketchup i obviously keep mine in the fridge nothing like cold ketchup

obviously and it to me it makes it makes it taste so much better you're having a hot french fry with a cold tomato ketchup delicious delicious i can't believe this is even a debate No, and now that's why they say on TikTok, you can't eat at everybody's house.

Like people do fucking weird shit.

That's a funny thing to say, but I also wonder if this is like a UK thing because this has been like a big combo amongst Heinz uk twitter perhaps

but it just goes to show you you can't eat at everybody's house no

that's really true yeah i know like people stitch it like when they see people you know people on tick tock will be like come make dinner with me and then they'll do something like really gross and then people will stitch it be like that's why you can't eat at everybody's house that's really funny yeah and it's like people will um oh like girlies who are like clean my sink with me and they just like use hot water they don't use like ajax or anything and it's like really gross.

You can't eat out of everybody's house.

Damn.

Yeah.

So it's true.

Like, food is so personal.

So personal.

I can't believe there have been people who have been putting their ketchup.

It never even occurred to me to put ketchup in the pantry.

Another debate question.

Sound off.

What do you think is more personal?

Comedy or food?

Food.

What do you think?

I guess food.

But like, it's crazy how like two people could watch a comedy special and like one person is cackling throughout and someone else is like, this is the worst thing I've ever seen.

No, I'm now leaning a little bit more towards comedy.

Because like, could there be a meal put forth that someone's like, this is the best meal I've ever had and someone else is like, this is the worst meal I've ever had?

I mean, there are people who like literally think McDonald's is disgusting and I'm over here thinking it deserves a Michelin star.

Yeah.

Well, that's facts.

Like things that you think are ubiquitous, like McDonald's.

Like,

I guess that, like, there are people who don't like French fries.

Like, to me, that's like the most basic.

Kids love it, adults love it.

But there are people who don't like it.

That's really crazy.

Sickening.

I feel sad for those people.

Those people like bring me great.

Like, I'm an empath.

So I feel lots of sadness when I think about them.

This episode really makes me want French fries.

And you know what?

Like, why not get some McDonald's fries today?

I don't know.

Just let me know when you're ordering and I'll be on my way.

Are you going to come over today?

Yeah.

I need to go shopping because I got invited to a fabulous july 4th party tomorrow so i want to wear something like cute red white and blue but like not like lame you know

um so that's like on my list of things to do today also i'm about to finish editing the vlog that i made last night so by the time this episode goes up it should be on patreon the summer i turned pretty red carpet premiere vlog on the patreon did you get to watch the show

no I talk about it all in the vlog.

I thought it was like a screening.

I was like, literally, I wore uncomfortable shoes.

I'm like, it doesn't matter.

Like, I'm going to be sitting and enjoying the first episode.

I'm going to get to see it.

I'm going to get to see it before everyone.

And it very quickly occurs to me, Margo, and GBT, who are the stars of the vlog, that we are not getting to see the first episode.

I don't know why we all thought that.

They didn't even say it in the invite.

Because that's what a premiere is.

Was it called a premiere in the invite?

I don't know.

Like, you're getting two weeks.

And Taylor's Back to December.

Okay.

Don't spoil the vlog.

Oh, okay.

I haven't.

I'm really excited to watch the vlog because I didn't even ask you about your big night out, but I really want to know how it went, but it's all in the vlog.

It's all in the vlog, honey.

Put it in the bag.

Put it on the vlog.

And you know what?

Before the episode, you were like saying the stories were shit and like, we'll just have to get through this episode.

And this might be, seriously, one of my favorite episodes.

Maybe it's because I made two really good calls.

Might be one of my favorite episodes in the last two years.

Should we call it Claudia Made Two Good Calls?

I just think the Pete, honestly, like.

I feel like there are certain themes of the toast and me making atrocious calls and like bad takes and then you like checking me.

That's kind of a major theme here.

And so today, like I was kind of the thought leader of this episode.

And I just think people should know.

You're usually the thought leader and I'm usually like the clown.

And I like that those roles that we play.

I like that dynamic, but it does feel good to be the smart one.

And not that you were being dumb, but like I was being smart.

I am really happy for you that you could have that feeling and enjoy it, you know, because

smart's not cool.

Sometimes it's not maybe smart.

Because this is our last episode for a really long, not a really long time, till Wednesday, and it's audio only.

I think we have the potential to reach number one in comedy.

So if you're listening to this and you have both Spotify and Apple and you're like, I could listen to this episode on either.

But they already finished the episode.

Fuck.

Do you want to?

I'm actually asking you to go to Spotify and just put it on mute and play it.

Like, I think I reached number one.

Oh, shit.

Apple.

Fuck.

Okay, you know what?

You just said I was so smart.

I said I was smart and now I'm being dumb as fuck.

So we are ending the episode.

While you're ahead.

Thank you so much for listening to the Tusta Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iRadio, Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts, find us the toast, leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

Have an amazing holiday weekend.

Happy July 4th.

Proud American.

Who seeking you see?

Love ya.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.