Jackie Wrote A Book!: Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

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Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast for a very special hump do

episode because I am in studio, which like she's always in studio.

This girl, she doesn't work.

She lives at the studio.

But she's in the studio with kind of like a crazy special guest.

It's Jax.

Yeah, that's right.

Jax and Claude in studio.

Haven't been in studio weeks.

In a few weeks, it's good to be back.

It's so amazing to have you here, sis.

I'm so grateful to be here.

Love podcasting with you.

Love podcasting together in person.

But let's be real.

We're here for a purpose.

We are here for a purpose.

I wasn't just going to break my bedrest for nothing.

No, for something worth it.

For something worth it.

And this is for sure worth it because I have an announcement to make.

Secret Project Reveal.

Secret Project Reveal.

I don't make a lot of announcements.

You don't.

Because you don't even like to use the word announcement.

Like you take that word, you don't take it lightly.

Yeah.

But this.

But this is an announcement.

It's an announcement to end all announcements.

I think so.

I would say.

I think it's the biggest announcement.

No, it's not the biggest announcement I ever made because I feel like that would be like pregnancies.

Yeah, I guess.

But it's up there.

It's up.

No, it's seriously up there.

It's a fellow labor of love because I have written a children's book.

You guys, you're not fucking ready.

The Camper and the Counselor.

If you're listening as a podcast, highly suggest coming to YouTube.

Because I have a copy of the book and I will be showing you some of the illustrations.

It's the cutest book.

It comes out on October 10th, but it is available for pre-order now wherever you pre-order your books.

Amazon, Target, Barnes ⁇ Noble, Indiebound, Walmart.

And I think we all, I think we all learned the importance of pre-order when I was promoting my book.

It's so important to support authors in their pre-order phase.

So it's so nice.

You know, you spend the money now.

A few months from now, you get a little gift.

Right.

It just shows up at your door.

We were just talking about this on the Redheads, how pre-ordering, especially like with books too, like it just shows up on your Kindle.

And just Kindle, yeah.

It just shows up at your door.

You don't have to like set a reminder, okay, her book comes out October 10th.

So I would highly recommend pre-ordering it and I would also really appreciate it.

It would mean a lot to me.

This is the Camber and the the Counselor and of course it is inspired by my story of the Camber and the Counselor that has been living rent-free in my head since 2018.

If you've been a toaster for a while, you know the shtick.

I am the camper.

Margo is the counselor and which is like so disgusting because I'm sitting right here.

It's so disgusting towards turdy.

It should be called the turdy and the turdy.

The turd and the turdy.

Maybe the sequel.

The turd and the turdy.

I like that.

I like it too.

So let's talk about the inspiration.

Well, tell me, you know, I don't want to give it anyway spoilers, but what is the premise of the book?

And, you know, who is this book for?

Because I have an idea in my head who the book is perfect for.

So that's a great question.

Who is this book for?

It's listed as ages one to nine because I, this is Harry's favorite book.

Like, it is a great book for the newborn phase because it rhymes.

I was not going to write a children's book that didn't rhyme because I don't read children's books that don't rhyme.

No, I don't fuck with children's book that don't rhyme.

Like, what are you doing if you ain't rhyming?

It's no fun to read a children's.

book to your child that does not rhyme.

Couldn't agree more.

And when I sit down to read a book to one of the kids, like I literally am Cardi B.

Like I'm so on point.

I'm obsessed with iambic pantometer.

So much so, I went over your book a few times to make sure that the iambic pantometer was on point.

We went over every verse over and over again, like clapping it out, making sure it hit the right notes, and it does.

It's so good, you guys.

Like good luck getting through it without crying.

It is the sweetest thing.

If you went to camp, like you know how as like a young person, camp is so magical.

And the book totally captures the magic of camp.

Like if you have like even like the remotest, like, warmest feelings towards camp, like, you're going to die.

If you went to camp, if you have a kid going to camp, I feel like it addresses that whole, you know, homesickness thing.

It's ages one to nine because you can read it to your newborn baby or toddler.

But then also.

At eight years old, kids start going to camp for the first time.

And it's a really great prep book for a kid who's going to camp for the first time.

I mean, I went to camp at six.

Right.

I went to camp at eight, which is the standard age.

Snitch went to camp at five.

Yeah.

She had like her whole family there.

Yeah.

All the sisters were there.

So like, what's she going to spend the summer at home?

Right.

Right come on over to camp and oh my god We just loved camp if you've listened to the show You know we're like obsessed with camp So this is like such a natural extension and I think we can officially remove my irrelevant book from the from the the acrylic placard and place yours.

I think that we can this will be a ceremonial changing of the book guard.

Oh my god.

It kind of goes with our aesthetic better.

I know.

I'm also just gonna have to like take it home every night because it's truly Harry's favorite book.

No, and if you like our cameras aren't that high deaf, but if you like really zoomed in, you would see like the pages.

Harry's like tearing tearing at them.

Yeah, chewing on them.

He ripped out one of the birds.

There's all these, like, he loves birds, and there's birds throughout the book, and he took one as a souvenir.

Can I read like the first page?

Yeah, I was going to read like up until.

No, not me making this about me.

No, no, no, no.

I mean, you could, but.

Let me just read the first page.

It's so cute.

You could read the first page and I'll read the second page.

Okay.

The Camper and the Counselor by Jackie Ostre, illustrated by Polina Karmazova, who did the most amazing job.

Like these,

I'll also show everyone my my favorite page.

Okay, fine.

Okay.

Fair.

It's the first day of camp.

My bags are tightly packed.

My duffel trunk and pillow are all neatly stacked.

We bump and we bounce up curves, bends, and hills.

The windy camp roads give me goosebumps and chills.

Dad, you want to read the second one?

Sure.

It's so camper.

It's so camper.

We're here, I yell as we pull into the drive.

We've made it to camp.

I'm so glad to arrive.

Yeah, and we all have it memorized at this point.

It's 32 pages.

You know, and you could add it to to your Goodreads you could I'm looking forward your it's on Goodreads.

I will be adding that to my Yearly book count.

I'm looking forward to adding it to mine.

This is Claudia's favorite page which this one let me see.

Yes.

Oh my god.

So the camper is of course redhead.

Yeah.

I I didn't really like see a camper who like really looked like me It was probably like the chubby one running in the at the back of the pack.

That was probably me

But the red-headed camper is so cute.

She has green eyes.

She literally looks like Jack's curly hair.

And on this page, she's kind of, she's eased past her homesickness and she doesn't even realize that she's so far from home because she's having such an amazing time at camp.

She's reflecting on the good times.

She's reflecting on the good times.

She's in nature.

She's with the leaves.

And here is, I forget, I don't know what page this is, but she's just like living her best life.

And I couldn't be more obsessed with this page.

Like, you really need to see it in person, which is why you should pre-order it.

Thecamperandthecounselor.com.

Yeah, you really need to experience it in person.

It is, this book is, you want to put it here?

Yeah, maybe I'll show my favorite pages.

Yeah.

What is my favorite?

I mean, they all have my heart.

I think they all are amazing pages.

Oh, actually, you know what?

I think my favorite page is like the last page, and I don't want to spoil the ending.

Oh, my the ending, you guys.

I'm like, seriously, good luck not crying.

It's so fucking cute.

No, I used to read the book in all its different iterations to Harry, like throughout the first year of his life, because I wrote the first draft when I was nine months pregnant with Harry.

So over a year ago.

And honestly, the book just wrote itself because this story has been living in my head.

Yeah.

You all know I've been LARPing as camper and counselor, and I've always dreamed of it being a children's book, but I was in no rush to like write it, especially before I became a mom.

But then, when I was pregnant and I was quarantining, I had all this time on my hands, and I was like, Let me take a stab at it.

No, I remember the first time I heard it via FaceTime, chills.

Yeah, the first time I like read it.

Well, so first I took a stab at it.

I wrote my first draft, the words poured out of me.

It's changed so much since then, but you know, the general story is the same.

But, like, the first time I read it over Harry's Crib, just like based on notes on my phone, he was probably like one week old.

Yeah, um, he loved it, he

enraptured.

No, the thing is, harry's got taste it really is his favorite book right now i'm not even exaggerating and that warms mama's heart it's the cutest thing thecamperandthecounselor.com it's so good like it's perfect gift of course if there's a mom in your life if you are not a mom or you're an auntie it's perfect for that if there's like a toaster in your life who's having a baby it's a perfect baby shower gift if you're a godmother if you're an uncle if you're a dad if you're a mom if you're a sister you're an auntie like whatever it is it's a great gift And the best part is that you don't have to be a toaster to enjoy the story.

There's no inside jokes in there.

It's for kids.

It's for everyone.

Yeah.

It's for everyone.

But the toasters will know like the origin story, where it comes from, and how much it means to me.

It is the sweetest thing.

I'm obsessed.

Mazalto, welcome to the Author Club.

Author Club.

So this is like a podcast hosted by two authors.

It's a very literary podcast.

It really is.

It actually has been for a while.

Yeah.

But now it's two authors.

If only like 2019 me could see us now.

I know.

Should we change the name of the podcast to two authors, one cup?

No.

Two authors, one book.

Even though we have two books.

Yeah.

I think it's, I like mine better.

Okay.

Even though I'm an author who, for the life of her, cannot pronounce submersible.

What's why do you need to pronounce it?

That's what it's called, the submarine.

That's.

Oh.

Submersible?

Sub.

Sub, yeah.

Everyone's saying sub, and it's because they don't know.

Because it's not a submarine.

It's a submersible.

Okay, everybody, I said yesterday submersible.

And then I was like, somersiblé?

Summer.

Summersible.

Wait, what would you say?

Submersible.

Submersible.

That's so easy.

Yeah.

Submersible.

But I feel like they're making it extra complicated.

It's a submarine.

And for what?

It's a submarine.

What?

What?

We're going to talk about that.

We are.

But you can get my book for pre-order, link in my bio.

We'll post it everywhere today on Amazon.

Just search me, Jackie Ashre.

It's called The Camper and the Counselor and is my pride and joy.

I've worked so, so hard on it, especially in the last few months.

Like, that's when everything really revved up.

Page layouts, illustrations.

Yeah, all the illustrations and like putting together the book happened in like the last two months.

But all the writing like happened first when I was pregnant and then it was like shopped around, not really.

And then in the fall, I did all the writing editing.

So it's so good.

It's really been a labor of love.

It's a book full of love.

It's a book full of love.

It's a book that radiates love.

And you know what?

It's so wholesome.

Like, the message is just...

Fun.

Fun, good times, the power of female friendship and mentorship.

The power of female friendship and mentorship, yes.

And just having, like, good, old-fashioned fun.

That's it.

No, it's so true.

Like, getting outside.

Being with your darlies.

Like, some of these children's books, I'm like, what is the message?

Like, the one that I was reading, I'm not going to put any on blast, but like, I was like, is this about death?

Ooh.

Is this a metaphor for death?

No, but I do think some children's books are meant to help with like difficult topics.

Of course, no, but there are some that are like, what is this about?

Even when we were doing the cat and the hat recap, people were like, it's a statement against working mothers.

Come again.

Because the kids are home alone with the goldfish and this is the ruckus that goes on.

Honestly, I could see that.

I don't know if that's how Seuss meant it.

Yeah, I don't know if that's how

Seuss sees it.

That's how Seuss sees it.

But yeah, some of these books, I finish them, like I read them, Tari.

I'm like, what was this?

What did we learn?

What did we learn?

What were we supposed to learn?

And so what are we going to learn from the camper and the counselor?

That you have to trust the process.

You have to bloom where you're planted.

You have to bloom where you were planted.

And it will all work out and you'll be better off for it.

It's about a leap of faith.

It's about a leap of faith.

I love that.

So pre-order now.

I'll be reminding you up until October.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

I feel like they're worried.

You shouldn't.

You shouldn't.

If you forget today, it slips your mind.

There's always tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I'll tell Ben.

He has to promote it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben's read it.

Ben's read it.

Ben, like the way we all, like the iambic pentameter, like takes over and you get in and you're like, I'm so glad to arrive.

Like, you become a nut job.

Yeah, you do.

And I will be doing

readings throughout the promotional process, you know, little spoilers here and there so people can really kind of get the voice down once the book arrives.

Works for me.

That's kind of like where Maverick came from.

Remember, you just like like said, give me a page, any page.

Give me a word, any word.

And then we heard about the beauty of Maverick.

Pre-order, CamberleyCounseler.com.

You know who loves this book?

Maverick.

Actually, I haven't spoken to him in quite a while.

Things have been kind of tense.

Ever since you opened up.

Yeah, like opened up in for him.

And he didn't respond to me.

Did you ever hear from him?

Never heard a word.

Hmm.

But like, I wouldn't even know how to contact him.

I don't know if he would know how to contact me.

He would know how to contact you.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, you're easy to find.

No offense.

I'm wide open, Maverick.

Except for Ben.

Yeah.

Well, we've got a great show today.

We do have a great show today.

It's Wednesday, which means dear towasters.

The stories, they came together in a flash, you guys.

This is the sort of week we were just getting cocky and like saying, oh, we're too good for the fast five.

Like, this is the sort of week where the fast five fuels me.

I was genuinely

devastated yesterday that I was not on the show because three of the five stories that I felt so deeply passionate about, of course, one we will still be talking about today because it is the story.

It's a developing story.

And it's global news news and everyday people are invested in.

And that is the Titanic.

And the fact that there's Titanic news and I wasn't here.

It's devastating.

You know what?

I don't know if there could have been a better person.

No.

Because Stasi's so obsessed.

She's so obsessed.

It was as if it was me sitting here.

Yep.

A pregnant Titanic file.

Yeah.

No, it was perfect.

And she gave some great insight on Vanner Pump Rolls.

She was a great, if you haven't listened to the episode, highly recommend.

She was great.

Yeah, she was great.

I really enjoyed it.

Did you get to, I didn't talk to you yesterday.

I didn't talk to you yesterday because I was in Boston doing a Spritz meeting greet which was fabulous thank you to everyone who came and I wanted to tell you about the thing that happened to me in the middle of the night but I actually wanted you to hear it on the podcast first.

Were you dying?

Yes, but like the fact that you couldn't take any responsibility for your role.

What the fuck did I do besides literally get up to piss?

No, I know but like

I don't know.

It's just like that just doesn't happen to people, you know?

No, but let's go back.

My role?

Your role, first of all, if you see a figure in the door, like, that's your husband, you know, his shape.

By the way, that, that, of course, but rationale and logic when you're in like a panic situation, never persevere.

It's always

screaming.

Oh my God, not you.

I'm victim blaming.

You're victim blaming.

Because I just, like, literally, you'll be sitting here and like the door, literally, the door opens here, and you can't see, and you know, you can't see past the lights, and you scream every time.

I'm very easily scared.

Yes.

So when somebody opens a door, I'll literally, my heart will stop.

I'll be like,

but this was was not like a, it was like a,

I know.

Oh my God, you like invalidating my entire experience.

I'm not, I'm not, but like, it took two, like, and also you're, you posed a question, who is it scarier for?

I don't know.

Obviously, it's scary for you.

You think there's someone in your house.

But for Ben, he's like stumbling through the dark and just hears a scream.

Oh my God.

I literally hate you.

I'm so glad you weren't here yesterday, Mitch, because you would have like invalidated my entire thing.

My entire experience is

scary regardless.

And what's so crazy, crazy, obviously, is that of all hours of the night, the two of you got up at the same exact time.

Well, I have to imagine when I got up to pee, it like rustled Ben a little bit, and then he was like, Yeah, I should pee.

Yeah, there's been a few nights where I've gotten up to pee recently, and it's also like the same time.

Like, if Zach falls asleep on the couch, like it's the exact same time, like I get into bed, and then he comes in.

I'm like, Did you hear me?

Maybe.

And that like alerted him, like, oh, it should be maybe, but like, I don't make a, I don't make a peep because I'm sharing a room with Harry.

Right, right.

So I literally don't make a peep.

Maybe.

So that's the coincidence.

No, but I don't mean to invalidate your feelings.

It was crazy.

It is crazy.

It was crazy.

But you guys are crazy.

But we're not.

We're just like simple human beings trying to get through life.

You're crazy people.

You love to scream.

No, we.

I am very easily like scared.

And like.

I'm the perfect person.

Like you hide behind a door and you like, oh, boo.

Yeah.

I will have to go to the hospital.

Like, I'm, and it's not, I don't put on a front.

Like, I, I wish I wasn't.

Like, I probably three times a day does my heart stop.

Yeah and like how blessed are you that you don't have any creaky floors I know that would have alerted you that's really like why people are always like when are you moving to Florida like I can't live in a house houses make so many sounds I would be up all night.

But you would hear if someone was coming into the bathroom Maybe yeah.

Maybe I would have more than one bathroom, you know?

Yeah, you do have more than one bathroom.

I know but my guest bathroom I cleaned out my closet and I had all these bags for donation and I shoved them in the guest bathroom because I didn't want them like cluttering at my house.

So the guest bathroom, I got rid of them yesterday, but the guest bathroom has been been out of commission, which is why me and Ben were sharing a toilet.

Got it.

And because you didn't turn a light on.

That too, yeah.

And what was that about?

Who turns the light on in the middle of the night?

That's rude.

Oh, I like I'm peeing so much in the middle of the night now.

I close the door behind me and I turn the light up a little bit.

Actually, we have a light in our bathroom.

I'm going through the dark.

We have a light in our bathroom that just lights up the floor.

Fancy.

It is really fancy, but like...

Whatever, I'm just peeing in the middle of the night.

I'm not even washing my hands.

It'll be 10 seconds.

Like, I don't flush in the middle of the night either.

I haven't been because I don't want to wake up Bruno, who would have bark and wake up Harry.

Yeah, like it's also just an insensitive thing to do.

It's a chain reaction.

100%.

I don't know.

But if the person's in REM, they're not going to hear the flush.

He wouldn't hear the flush.

You just.

I don't know.

I don't want to risk it.

I'll do it in the morning.

It's a problem for tomorrow, May.

Yeah, that's what I've been doing too.

All right, I feel like we should dive in because we have a lot to get into today.

We also have a deer tomorrow.

And we have the Kurds that are, you know, back

on their bullshit.

It can't be like last week when we were just like podcasting till no end.

We also have deer toasters today.

We actually have a submission.

I feel like we're always talking about mothers-in-laws.

We have a submission from the mother-in-law.

It's interesting to get her perspective.

She's a real sweetie.

I'm so interested to get her.

Yeah, it'll be good.

So I think we should dive in.

Because I am like feeling you're a future.

Yeah, I'm a future toxic mother-in-law.

100%.

Proud.

And proud.

So without further ado, did it do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Claudia.

Yeah, well, come.

Our first story, the big story of the week.

Critical equipment has arrived in a last chance effort to save the Titanic sub passengers.

Search crews desperately racing against time to save the passengers on the missing Titanic-bound sub had three U.S.

Air Force planes deliver critical equipment and tools to Canada late Tuesday in what was described as the last chance to rescue them.

The massive C-17 Globemasters, which were believed to have been flown from New Jersey and North Carolina, landed late Tuesday in Newfoundlandland.

Newfoundland?

Newfoundland.

Oh.

I don't know.

It's giving doctor.

It is.

Where they were met by several flatbed trucks.

The cargo was frantically placed onto trucks, which made their way with a police escort to the waiting Horizon Arctic, a Canadian supply ship that said.

Wait!

Sail.

Oh my God, I think I saw them.

What do you mean?

Last night.

What did you see?

Oh, my God.

We were driving home from Boston.

I did my meet and greet in Boston last night.

And about, I think we were somewhere in Connecticut.

And they said that it drove from...

No.

And they were going the opposite way.

They flew to Canada.

Oh.

And then drove to the ship.

Is it possible that I saw them?

Um.

No,

I don't think so.

Because on the other side of I-95, literally there was standstill traffic.

And when we finally reached like what there was like four enormous trucks holding up like the entire um

i don't know what it was but we were like all so confused trying to figure out what it was crazy you don't think that was it i mean it could have been and it was there were police escorting it

i mean you were going to boston so these ones no i was driving home from boston but they were going the other way on the i-95 right and like it is it's about like 300 miles off the coast of newfoundland but 900 miles off the coast of cape cod so maybe they were going to to the Cape.

I'm telling you, I might have seen it.

You might have seen, yeah, sure.

Something.

Wow, crazy.

Maybe I was like a part of the rescue efforts.

Let's just say that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they went to the supply ship and made the voyage to the middle of the sea to try and find the sub that's missing.

So they said, this is the last kick at it.

This is the last chance.

There's no other chance than this ROV underwater vehicle

to find the sub.

But also I saw this morning that they're hearing some sounds using sonar that sounds like banging.

So if the sub is still intact and the passengers are still alive, they might be like banging to

what?

To make sound.

So the radars would pick up sound.

Yeah, they wouldn't be banging to try and get out because getting out doesn't help them.

No, they would be banging to be found.

There's a bunch of different theories floating around.

It does not help them.

No, not, it kills them.

Yeah.

There are a bunch of different theories.

One of them is that like at some point on the voyage to the Titanic, the whole thing imploded.

Yes.

Because it now where all this footage is coming out of like the inside they made all these videos before it's extremely poorly made it's like you know put together with like a remote control from a play station and a piece of duct tape like it's not a fancy military grade piece of equipment didn't meet a lot of the regulations that like um

it

they would have had it meet but this is private um it's a yeah it's not like a government or a private sea travel so the people who signed the waivers and I think did you see that um Simpsons producer he had written a story that he did this trip oh my god and the waiver even the first page said death three times damn yeah but he talked about like his experience going down and how it's like so different for everyone like when they went they kind of got like lost on the sea floor were like looking for the titani not lost in a bad way but they couldn't find the titanic by the time they finally got to the titanic they only got to see like the anchor and the hole because they had to go back up they were out of time oh damn um but then the next day a new trip went down and they got to see the whole thing.

So this has been done many times?

Not like so many, but it's been done successfully, yes.

Okay, interesting.

And I don't really understand because

me and Sasse yesterday were looking at pictures of the submersible.

There's like a little window.

There's just one window.

It's not like a thing made of glass.

So you can't see.

So even though you're in this thing, when you actually get to the Titanic, they're showing you the wreckage on a screen.

Oh, well, can you look out the window?

I'm sure.

I'm sure, but like they're showing you on, like, this just doesn't seem like a good investment.

Yeah.

Because, you know, I could do it for free.

I go on YouTube and watch it on a screen, too.

Of course.

But if you can see it out the window and you're like there

in school.

Especially if you're like a thrill-seeking adventurer.

Right.

And perhaps like a

history buff.

Right.

One of the people who's rumored to be on the submarine this time is like a French Titanic expert.

Got it.

There is also a

someone who's on the submersible, their i think nephew or something stepson stepson is making waves because he posted on social media last night that you know the search is underway for his uh stepfather and he has decided to spend that evening at the blink 182 concert he posted on social media at the blink 182 concert i know it seems like odd timing for me to be here but my family would want this they know how music can help me during a difficult time

and um

no it was crazy it was like by the way go to go off like go to to the concert.

I'm not going to judge anyone for what they do during a difficult time, but like you, like, genuinely, like, you don't need to post everything you're doing on social media.

Like, if I had heard this, like, if you told me, like, oh, you know, I happen to know that guy's son and he went to the concert.

I wouldn't think it's weird, but the posting on social media is weird.

Yeah.

Like that's what makes it weird.

Yeah, and obviously everyone felt the same because it's like headlines.

It's news, right?

What did you write exactly?

Okay, hold on.

Pull it up.

It was just like a very

just, we didn't need to know this.

It might be distasteful being being here, but my family would want me to be at the App Link 182 show as it's my favorite band.

And music helps me in difficult times.

Okay, like, thanks.

There's so, like, at the end of the day, this is such a sad story.

And all, like, all the experts who are weighing in on this are saying, like, it's relatively hopeless that these people will be found.

Found alive.

Now we're like under 24 hours of oxygen left.

Right.

And, you know, that's assuming like nothing's gone terribly wrong inside.

Like, somebody hasn't become, like I said yesterday, like Lord of the Flies.

You know, people can get crazy when they think they're about to die.

So it's all very

unlikely that this will end happily.

And it's so sad.

But now like all the information about this company has come out, Ocean Gate.

And it's like,

it's...

amazing that this company hasn't been shut down, that people have successfully gone and come back up, like that this is the first time, you know, something so bad has happened because it's like, it's hella unsafe yeah

but i think that when people sign up for this like they they do know what that there's a risk because we're also like hearing from other thrill seekers who have pulled out of this based on like what they saw yeah but i don't really think that like one of these wealthy people would bring their 19 year old son if they like really thought there was a good chance they weren't coming back like yeah there's like a risk every time you go bungee jumping sure but this is like another level yeah this is another level so i don't think anyone would like bring their child if they like really thought.

It was so dangerous.

Yeah, I mean, like, there was an article written in 20, there was like a whistleblower at the company being like, this is so unsafe.

And he was fired.

Yeah.

Because they just like want to get down there.

Right.

Like, regulations and getting up to all these different codes would take years.

Yeah, right, right.

If they wanted to, like, go about it the real way.

Yeah.

But those codes are in place for a reason.

Right.

So crazy.

I feel as though like everyone's talking about this.

It's just so crazy that it's all about the Titanic.

No, it's the Titanic claiming more lives.

I know, and it's just like the Titanic is like cursed, of course,

but it's just like this magnet.

Like people are, and I'm, I'm, I am

magnetized, magnetized by it, but like the way that people are obsessed.

Yeah, no, you're so right.

And I'm talking about me.

Yeah.

It's a crazy thing.

If somebody had offered you a seat on this stage

for free, like no money.

Oh, my God.

I'm not, I'm not a foul seeker.

You're not.

At all.

That does nothing for me.

Like, oh, my God, never.

No, I'm like, what's the opposite of a thrill seeker?

I'm like a chill seeker.

Literally.

Like, I will, I've never been like

bungee jumping.

No.

I've never done like the craziest thing I ever did.

I never go out of a plane.

No, no.

I've never skydive.

Like, the crazy, like, for me, like, when I think about the craziest things I've done in my life, it's like jumping off of like a really high rock when I was in the BVIs.

And it was like the scariest thing.

And it was quite literally 10 feet.

Oh, yeah.

I jumped off like a big boat once.

Yeah, yeah.

That was like pretty tough.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

And we did the leap of faith in the Bahamas.

Yeah, this like really tall water slide, which is completely safe and like fully regulated.

It's for kids.

It's for kids.

Yeah, I'm not a thrill seeker.

I avoid thrill at all costs.

Like I don't like going in fast cars.

Nope, except you drive with your husband.

I don't think I'm ever going to get in a car again with him.

I don't think you should.

We got back from Boston.

Boston is a minimum four-hour drive.

Right?

We got home from Boston in two hours and 45 minutes last night and we only had one like near-death experience.

And honestly, in Ben's defense, it was not his fault.

We were in the left lane, and all of a sudden, and we're going fast because we're on a highway in the left lane.

There's no signs.

All of a sudden, these cones appear, and it's like the left lane is closed.

So it's like you have to merge to the right lane.

And to the right of us was this enormous truck.

We had no idea our lane was ending.

Ben handled it.

He got, we were fine.

But yeah, we almost died.

But you know what?

I was in bed.

My event, my event was at seven.

Ended at seven, excuse me.

I was in home, showered in my bed, watching shrinking at 10 o'clock.

That's crazy, and I'm happy for you in that instance, but he's out of control.

No, I know.

We drove back with him from One Republic over a year ago.

One Republic.

Remember, we went a year ago at Homedale.

No, it's so funny.

I remember going.

I don't remember Ben being there.

I thought it was like a sister tonight.

No, he was there.

He drove us.

Yes, you know what?

I do remember.

We got home so fast.

And it was horrible.

Yeah, but like the thing is that, and I i will say about ben because i'm in no rush like oh ben oh yeah that's ben's thing he's like he watches the ways if it says you know estimated time arrival 9 30 he will not rest until the eta goes down minute by minute by minute till like 9 30 we'll get there at nine that's it's just not

and he's not rushing towards anything but i just do want to say in ben's defense he's a crazy driver He's not a bad driver, and he's really not an unsafe driver.

He's just a very fast driver.

He's just a very fast driver, and I just don't think we need to be going that fast.

No, and like with our new car, which we'll hopefully be picking up today or tomorrow.

I'm only driving with you.

Yeah.

No, I'm definitely worried about it because like, all right, it's Ben's parents' car.

Like, sure, do your worst.

Oh, right.

Now it's a bad thing.

But like, this is my name on the insurance.

Like, no, we will be driving the speed limit at first.

Great.

Yeah.

Love to hear it.

And so crazy on our way, on our drive to Boston, it's basically one long drive.

It's like not like, you know, a million directions.

You're just on this one road for like 100 miles.

Like the entire time we were stuck behind a car that is the car we're picking up.

Same color and everything.

And it's kind of an off-the-beaten path color it's not just like white or black have you told people what car you're getting no i'm saving it for the vlog oh okay except there were girlies at the meeting greet yesterday they're like did you drive your new car and i was telling them because like they came all the way which one did you just which one did you wind up going with

oh good good good yeah it was you know it was more but more is more yeah like it's my first car like i and i just want to say like the way i'm so influenced in terms of car purchasing by the real housewives like I wanted a car that could be seen on the Real Housewives and that I've seen other housewives drive.

Like I know that's weird, but like the car that I got, I feel like most of of the women in atlanta drive oh that's interesting that didn't influence my decision at all except once we decided not to get this one car

then on kardashians kendall drove to um her horseback riding lesson it's a it's a land rover defender we thought about it like we were almost gonna get it and it's cool but like it's just like a little too cool for me you know kendall she's like so different yeah it's like extreme and it's really it reminds me of like prince philip like are you hunting

car what are you doing but then like i decided not to get get it and then of course Kendall shows up driving it.

I think that's okay.

I think it's okay too.

If Chloe had shown up, I would have been really devastated.

Yeah.

Well, we're wishing to get away from that.

We'll keep you updated on the submersible.

Hopefully that these bang, like hopefully.

So if they run out of oxygen, obviously they will all pass away.

Do they continue

searching for like the remains?

I think so.

It's not a recovery mission.

It's not a rescue mission.

It's now a recovery mission.

Yes, I think they will continue searching for a period of time yeah

um

but it's crazy it's like everyone's coming together talking about this who pays for the rescue

like which country you mean and like from what funds well they're in international waters correct yeah so it's i know you know canada's in there america's in there france i think is in there everybody's it's all hands on deck and also these people are from all over they're not only americans or brits they're the guy from

pakistan arab emirates yeah um

so it's a global affair i think maybe the un UN gets involved.

I don't know.

Right, but it's like,

but the taxpayers pay for

their country's involvement, right?

I don't know.

Just curious.

That's a good question.

I'm just curious.

But then also, I'm sure if there wasn't these rescue missions, like the families, these people are all billionaires.

Like, families would

pay whatever they need to do.

They'll be fine.

They all be fine.

But it's just curious.

Yeah, just kind of a curious cat.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

Are you?

I am, but I was just seeing pictures of the equipment on the trucks, and I was like, should I show it to you to see if that's what you want to do?

Oh, okay.

It's not a great,

it's not like great pictures.

It's like cargo.

Where's the truck?

No, yeah, it was obviously.

We have to talk about one more thing.

What?

And no, this doesn't help me.

That Dumois got a tip that everyone's okay.

Yeah, Dumois got a tip basically saying, like, I know people who are on the crew, like, everyone's been found and they're all alive.

Like, God willing, but I don't even think, I don't think Dumois is, like, you know has that level of intelligence yeah only like if that were true i pray i pray but only like the president has that level you know what i mean like maybe the president wrote into dumois i could see it happening i know i'm keeping uh just checking what do you mean like like going yeah refreshing you know i don't think there's any news right now but of course i think once we wrap something will happen but if like if if dumois tip is true then it should be forthcoming yes that's true if that's a big if yeah

are you ready for our next story

some other global news from yesterday yeah the louis vuitton men's fashion show

in paris was star-studded jay-z and beyonc stepped out together kim zendaya

re re-re and asap yes gwen stefani i don't know if i would include her in that like

kristen davis nina dobrev okay so hilo

oh sorry these are just people

alive just people who are alive yeah literally so nina dobrev wasn't there okay.

That didn't sound right, like everyone I was thinking about.

What about Gwen Stefani?

No, okay, yeah,

Gwen Stefani, Kristen Davis, and Nina Dobrev, like, just didn't like fit in that group.

They were just like, this is an article, it starts with the Louis Vuitton show, but then it goes like what other celebrities are doing.

No, the Louis Vuitton show was in, where was it, Paris?

Yeah, um, it was star-studded, everyone's like quaking over the video of Zendaya, like walking over like all these benches to get to Jay-Z and Beyonce and say hi, and they give like warm hugs.

Law Roach was with her, also giving hugs.

Um, Where was Law sitting?

I don't know.

It was before the show started, so they weren't like at their seats.

They were just like chilling by the water.

I'm sure he was sitting in front row with Zende.

That's not going to happen.

Yeah, and they were like wearing like coordinating outfits.

I was, I'm not worried.

Yeah.

Kim was there wearing like a Spandex brawn leggings.

Terrible.

No, like,

you know, at some point when you, when you like, you know, obviously work and represent a brand, like you just wear what they tell you to wear.

But I think Kim has enough influence in it.

Kim gets a rack.

Yes.

We've seen it before.

And I just don't understand this like athleisure style at like the world's biggest fashion show of the day.

Like, what are you doing?

No, it was, it's a, it's not a good outfit.

Rihanna and ASAP looked amazing in these like matching co-ord light blue monogram, like obsessed.

Beyonce wore this like big yellow item.

Like everyone was really doing the most and Kim's wearing leggings and like I just don't get it.

It's not even about the fact that she's like wearing leggings.

Like if it looks amazing, then it look, it would look amazing, but it just, it really did not it's leggings and a bra leggings and a bra and a big fanny pack a big square fanny pack oh yeah and heels yeah

i just am a person like a leggings and heels girl

no not not really like outside of pregnancy like where you would have to be wearing leggings you know what i mean yeah that's fair but um

But athleisure.

I hear what you're saying.

Yeah.

So it was fabulous and I loved all the content coming out of it, especially from Rihanna.

Rihanna looks so, I love the way she just dresses her bump and she just bumps it out, you know?

I loved that.

It was a gorgeous day in Paris.

It was.

And everyone really showed up and show out.

I think you've been Gwen Stefani.

There was a Pharrell

tie-in.

Yeah, Pharrell was their tie.

It was a collab.

I think it was a collab collection, something like that.

Very cool.

Very cool.

And it was men's?

And it was men's.

I feel like the men's Louis Vuitton show was always like a bigger deal than the women's.

Because men's for so long was Virgil.

That's why.

And all the celebrities went for Virgil.

And now I think they like still go for Virgil.

And like Pharrell now is collabing.

Very cool.

Love to see it.

But the Louis Vuitton Women's is always like very cool, very fashion.

Yeah.

But it's not like Beyonce Kim.

Yeah.

And Beyonce doesn't just like go to things.

No.

Especially she's on tour.

I was speaking of tourists Taylor announced yesterday like the biggest world tour of all time.

Like I never saw so many international dates and she's going to like, you know, every like some places feel like natural, you know, like London, Manchester.

But like there were places on there.

I was like, wow, so random.

Like, you know, Chile, I think.

No, Chile, she's not going to.

Our president wrote her a letter asking me.

Oh, that's why.

Okay, wait.

Oh, not me taking down the whole set.

Hold on.

Let me read you all the dates.

And there's like multiple.

She's setting records.

Of course, she's playing the Melbourne or Sydney cricket arena, which is seats 100,000 people.

Jeez.

Yeah, it's really major.

Okay, let me read the cities.

The Chilean fans are mad, but also the Filipino fans are really mad.

Because they were doing that thing at the mall.

Exactly.

Me, me behind the mall.

Four in Mexico, three in Argentina, two in Brazil, three in Brazil, three in a different part of Brazil.

Four in Tokyo, two in Melbourne, three in Sydney, three in Singapore, two in Paris, one in Stockholm, one in Lisbon, one in Madrid, one in Lyon, France, two in Edinburgh, good

Edinburgh?

Edinburgh.

Edinburgh in the UK.

Two in Liverpool.

One in Cardiff, two in London, two in Dublin, two in Amsterdam, one in Zurich, one in Milan, one in Gelser Kirchen, Germany, one in Hamburg, Germany, one in Munich, Germany, one in Warsaw, Poland, one in Vienna, and then two more in London at Wembley.

So, yeah.

She's gone to Warsaw.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

Like, really kind of niche.

Do you think she'll do like March of the Living?

Like,

I hope our queen will take some time while she's in Germany and Poland to learn about their history and, you know, what went down there.

I do.

I actually do hope so.

But I do.

She's busy.

She's busy, but I feel like when you go like abroad, you're always doing stuff.

Yeah.

As an American.

Yeah.

Are they all like really close states to each other?

She's just going like hopping from Germany to Warsaw.

I already exited it out.

I don't know.

But it looks like it's

pretty back-to-back.

That's a lot.

No, it's crazy.

No, I'm exhausted for her.

People didn't know if she was going to do, but like, I think everybody hoped.

And that's like the biggest tour I've ever heard of.

Yeah.

And like, it's not just the classic places.

Like, of course, Paris, of course, London, of course, Tokyo, of course, Australia.

But Edinburgh, Manchester.

All those random places in Germany.

Yeah.

Like, as an American pop star, that's

major.

Like, I feel like Harry Styles does a lot of international, but he's not American, you know?

Yeah, and it's not like he did a huge American tour.

He just sat up at a machine.

And waited for people to show up.

Yeah, and same with Staples Center.

Yeah.

So it's very interesting.

Queen just like kind of doing queen shit, being the biggest star in the world.

Yeah, I feel like there was some Taylor news.

Like she did something.

She went out to dinner with Gigi.

No, that wasn't it.

maybe it was like a song or something well there's rumors that the lover deluxe album is coming but like I have to get off swift twitter cruel summer is a single yeah and there is a music video I believe I don't know if she's announced that yet and she was supposed to make it a single in 2020 but then like with COVID she didn't but you know what it's good because the song is having like a renaissance because it's the opening song of the era's tour it's like doing like 100 million streams a day.

And she's like, that's never happened to me where a song from four years ago is just like popping off.

So I couldn't do it then, but I can do it now.

And I'm glad because like Lover really is so good.

We were talking about this, but like what people know from Lover, people who are not like big swifties who just listen to the radio, they know me.

They know You Need to Calm Down.

Does she do me at the Aristour?

No.

But it was me was a single.

You need to calm down was a single.

Lover is good and The Archer.

Those were both singles too, but like they're really not reflective of like what the album holds.

Yeah.

So I think in a lot of ways like Lover didn't reach its potential until now because people didn't look into it because what was representing it was not.

yeah me and you need to calm down are like yeah tough tough songs so for people to actually hear you know cruel summer death by a thousand cuts like miss americana those are like the real true pop bangers of the album for people to now hear cruel summer on the radio i think they'll be surprised yeah and i'm happy i love that i'm i love that too

my bladder oh i don't like have to pee but it just like feels you know your bladder's like saying hey jackson here yeah yeah yeah it's it's fun

it's fun.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah, unless you want to pause and pee.

No, no, no.

No, I don't.

No.

Zoe 102 trailer drop for the movie based on Zoe 101.

Okay, you guys.

I rolled to the back of my head.

Okay, I was ready for that because I hate reboots.

I hate all of them.

I don't even hate reboots, but like, literally, who asked for this?

Nobody.

Besides Jamie Lynn, who asked for this?

Nobody really asked for this, but I watched the trailer.

Did you watch the whole trailer?

I was surprised by how

good of a premise it is and like i feel like it could stand alone as just a movie outside of being a reboot outside of being a reboot it's based the plot is that um quinn and logan are getting married okay zoe is like been single and struggling chase is i think he brings like a date to the wedding and zoe like brings a fake date but like it's really about like her and chase like reconnecting at their high school friend's wedding which would be a movie No, it's a fine premise, but like the way I don't like wait up at night, I think that like the cast of Zoe 101 thinks that the fans of their previous show wait up every night being like, what are they gonna drop today?

Like, I don't think anybody cares like honestly.

No, I don't think anybody cares really today, but like Zoe 101 will always, they've left off Swanton Moore, obviously.

Like Jamie Lynn exited the show,

and we were not done with it.

Like it was such a great

show.

So, they think that, like, this is the next step.

And as far as other, like, reboot things that we've seen, I just actually feel like this is a decent idea.

It just looks like a cute rom-com that's based on the characters of Zoe 101.

Cute.

It really, I was ready to, like, be eye roll to the back of my head.

I thought it was, you know, going to be like Zoe is a teacher at PSA, and she's like,

sad.

No,

sad.

Sad.

It was not.

This is like a whole separate entity.

Like, you could watch this movie and have no idea what Zoe 101 is.

And it's just like

two high school, like let's just say it's falling in love.

Like the way they cast on social media and even like the People Magazine exclusive is like, the fans have been waiting.

We haven't, I just want to say, as a fan of Zoe 101, we have not been waiting.

I don't think about Zoe 101.

There are shows that I think about it, like that I say, oh man, I need them to get back together.

Like I need some sort of, like there are shows.

Zoe 101 is just not one of those shows for me.

And I just feel like the way it's so blown up everyone.

And I feel like over the last couple of years, they've literally like said a million times, like, it's happening.

and it was like a commercial like it was a song right whatever we we don't care like and i think i speak for everyone just let me know do i speak for everyone you speak for me like i didn't care but i was then surprised by how decent it looked power mount plus is like a good streaming service like they don't put out crap you know

yeah i'm sure it'll be good but like genuinely who's been asking for this it's like you've all been asking who

you know they could find a tweet that says anything i know they could find a tweet that says anything Yeah.

But there are like actually things people are waiting for, you know?

And I just don't think this is one of them.

Not to be like so negative.

No, and it's like if we were waiting, like the clock ran out a long time ago.

And they like used, when they had that music video, they pretended it was going to be like some reboot a few years ago.

They were all posting like something's coming.

They posted the key.

Yeah, they used honestly.

They wasted the good surprise.

They wasted the good surprise on that.

I agreed.

Well, anyways, I'm being optimistic.

That's so unlike you.

I know.

I was, I was really surprised by how the trailer made me feel.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

You should watch it.

Okay.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Thanks to Lululemon and their shorts, which make getting around in the heat so much easier, making an undercarriage nether region area dry and safe.

So get into Lululemon shorts at lululemon.com.

That's l-u-l-u-lemon.com.

Lululemon.com.

Today's episode is also brought to you by one of Jackie's favorite sponsors, Thrive Market.

Thrive Market is our go-to for all of our organic grocery and household essentials.

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Is Thrive Market approved?

Right.

If it's Thrive Market approved, like you don't have to ask so many questions.

You just see, like, if you're vegan or paleo, whatever your needs are, but you can sort on the side, like, based on what those things are.

So sometimes I'll look for like

plant-based stuff because I wouldn't eat, get meat.

So it's an amazing way to shop.

The prices are so much better than the grocery store and you're getting better quality foods with better ingredients.

And for me, like I'm discovering new items.

Like those puffs I got that you got from Annie's.

Uh-huh.

So good.

I didn't even know Annie's made puffs.

I had, I discovered something new yesterday because I got like a frozen mac and cheese from Amy's, which is like a different one.

If the Thrive Market approved, and Zach made it for me for lunch yesterday.

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Thank you, Turdy Lou.

You're welcome, Jackie O.

Our next story, a little love news, literally.

Kevin Love and Kate Bach shared the first photo of their newborn baby.

The Miami Heat star who welcomed his first child with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Bach on June 10th shared the first photo of the couple's newborn baby over the holiday weekend.

He was pictured holding their bundle of joy on his chest while at home in Miami, Florida.

And then she reposted the photo saying, mine.

I follow Kate Bach in this whole pregnancy.

I mean, she didn't post her pregnancy, but the whole thing escaped me.

Apparently,

a month ago, she showed off her bump at

the opening and missed it.

And then she shows up on Instagram like with a baby.

Yeah.

And I've genuinely never been so shocked.

Shame because it's not like we're invested.

We talked about their wedding, getting married at the New York Public Library.

We talked about their wedding at length.

Like, we were obsessed.

I follow her on Instagram.

How did, literally, how did we miss this?

I do not know.

Plus, she gave birth right before game five.

I didn't know he was on the heat and that he was in the finals.

Cavaliers, I thought.

No, he's on the heat.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Did you?

Then they won.

No, they didn't.

Oh, the Nuggets won, right?

That's so beyond my expertise.

No, I'm pretty sure the Nuggets won.

How do we not know this?

Who won?

I just feel like it wasn't made like big news.

I know.

But the Nuggets kind of like does sound familiar.

I feel like because

the Nuggets won, it wasn't big news because they're not like

a fancy famous team.

Yeah.

I just feel like...

Like, I don't care, you know?

No, I know.

I feel like if it was the Heat and it was Kevin Love, like, she also would have, she posted like a roundup yesterday about like how these big life moments were happening at the same time.

And she would have said like they won.

Yeah, yeah.

But she didn't say that.

But I saw a picture of like him holding a trophy.

That's why I thought he won.

Just like,

what's it called?

Like, who won the NBA championship?

The NBA Finals.

Yeah, that's what I just said.

The Nuggets.

Okay.

Okay.

The Nuggets won.

Congratulations.

Happy for the Nuggets.

Both chicken and plant-based.

It's crazy that that's a name of a basketball team.

Such a good point.

Nuggets.

Yeah.

And like a Nugget, I feel like nug is like what people call pot.

Is it?

And Denver is like a pot state.

I don't know.

Let's Google why are they called the nuggets?

Because

I don't think I'm wrong in that.

Like

that pot is referred to, like when it comes in like a little cluster.

You might be right, but the team was named so long ago.

Like, nuggets referred to the 19th century mining boom in Colorado when people rushed the area hoping to make their fortunes by panning for gold and silver nuggets.

I kind of love that.

I was kind of like thinking, I know I didn't say it.

Oh, shut up.

So you knew that, but you just chose to withhold it?

It just like, it crossed my mind.

It was like something about gold.

Sure.

Like gold nuggets.

Sure, sure, sure.

But I didn't say it.

Sure.

Yeah, no, I knew that.

I knew it too.

I like knew it, but I didn't want to share it because I didn't want to be embarrassed by how smart I was.

You had your pot theory.

No, but

that was just a cover because I really knew that it was about the gold.

Well, you learn something new every day.

Did you see those memes?

The only reason why I know is heat burst nuggets because I saw those memes that it's like you're saying that you're watching like heat nuggets.

Like, it sounds like you're

microwaving.

That's funny.

I didn't see one piece of content from the NBA finals.

Like, I didn't even know.

It stopped being LA and New York.

Yeah, but like, once the Knicks got out, which was very early on, like, I didn't.

It wasn't very early.

It was like

first round or second round?

Second.

Yeah, maybe second.

Who'd beat them?

Heat.

Heat.

And they ended up winning?

And they ended up winning.

No, they didn't.

No.

The way, like, I don't care, you know?

It's so amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just, you know,

good game.

Yeah.

But do you ever watch, like, every time I watch a basketball game, like, when they sing the national anthem, like, it is always atrocious.

I feel like they're trying to recreate like the Fergie moment for themselves and they refuse to have.

Who are you referring to?

And it's not even celebrities.

Like, I think it was like Randos.

It could be like a local

star.

I love a local star.

I hope to be one one day.

Always bad.

At the end, and like basketball.

Well, whenever I go

to sporting events,

the trade-off is like, fine, I'll go, but like we have to make it for the national anthem because it's like my favorite part.

Yeah.

And there's something about like being in the arena when everyone like takes their hats off and chants.

No, it's always good.

It's always moving, but I'm just saying, like, every time I watch a football national anthem, like, it's solid.

It's definitely a dream of mine to sing it.

You should go for a basketball one because the bar is obviously very.

That was literally so good.

I feel like you could sing at like a Rangers game.

Like New York Rangers?

Yeah.

And the home

of the

brave.

Consider that my audition.

So good.

We've like a few times over the years, like no one ever followed followed up with us, but like kicked around the idea of like, it was very minor league stuff.

You know, I have Charity and I like, you know, you throw out the first pitch.

I throw the first pitch in Claudia sings the national anthem, and like, it's a dream.

It's a dream.

Even though, like, in actuality, like, if the offer came across my desk, I would be quaking.

Like, I would might, I might even turn it down.

I'd be so nervous.

You would rise to the occasion.

I would rise to the occasion, but I'd need like a few weeks because I'd have to start doing like my vocal lessons again.

Yeah.

No, but you would be amazing.

Josie.

Can you?

You just need to like get through it.

You don't need to be be amazing.

Like, you just need to be good.

And you just need to not oversing it.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't try and do, like, as I was singing before, I was going to do like the Whitney Houston Brave

the Brave.

But no, I would keep it just simple.

Even though that sounded good, I would fuck it up.

You have to, if you're not Whitney Houston, you have to keep it simple.

And like rockets, red glare.

That's like the hardest part.

And I just killed it.

And I'm sitting down.

But you also got to start at

the key of music.

That was different.

Okay, we'll take that.

Gave proof through the night

that our flag was still there.

That was good, no?

You guys, someone who works, I know one of the things.

And then I just work for a sports.

Then I can do the Fergie.

Oh,

see.

Spangled.

Honestly, I could see how she got so carried away.

Like,

and now you're your head away, yeah.

Like, I could see it.

The song, like, takes over.

And you're like, oh, oh, oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

You can't point at a person like this.

This proved my point from earlier.

I thought there was a body.

I'm pointing at your

flag.

I thought it was a bug.

I'm seriously, like, I have to go to the hospital.

I'm not okay.

I'm pointing at your flag, bitch.

You can't just point at me.

Like,

point proof in the middle.

I really thought there was a bug.

You were like, oh no.

Like, you were just like, that's what you do when there's a bug on someone.

You're like, oh my god, there's a bug in your sweater.

You just did it again.

That's exactly how someone would react if there was an actual bug on me.

I'm so glad we got that on camera.

I'm so glad that now you guys know I wasn't just being a bitch at the top of the show.

Like, she scares so easily.

Oh, my God.

Too easily.

I'm really not okay.

I need help.

But continue with your singing and your sweater.

Oh, my sweater, yeah.

That's what I was pointing at.

Oh, oh, say,

does

that star,

spangled, banner and wave

o'er the land

of the free

and the home

of

little flat.

Brave.

It's just such a beautiful song.

Like, I would do it.

I would put respect on it.

Like, I love that song.

Of course, would you wear that sweater?

Probably.

You could wear this whole outfit.

Honestly, there are so many baseball games.

Are we done with the stories?

Oh, we're running out of time.

So I'll just let you know that Taiga and Arroline.

We're not running out of time.

You have to pee?

No.

Oh, we're not running out of time.

Sorry.

Are you okay?

Tyga and Avro Levine broke up.

Who cares?

Right, that's your fifth and final story.

But what I wanted to say is, there are so many baseball games, especially in a season.

We're about to be in baseball season.

If any of you work for the Mets or the Yankees, you guys, like, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna put it out there because we gotta get Turdy to sing the national anthem.

Like, that was an amazing audition.

And honestly, like, some of you guys get the worst fucking national anthem singers.

And it's rude and disrespectful to the country.

Right.

It's not patriotic.

Look at Turdy, Proud American.

You know what I am?

Proud American.

Oh,

say.

I love that song.

That's like my go-to shower song.

It's so good.

It's really like a stunning song.

I know everybody thinks their anthem is beautiful.

A lot of anthems are really beautiful.

Yeah, I guess.

I don't know any others.

Hot Tikvah.

Gorgeous.

Oh, actually, I do know Hat Tikva, the one of Israel.

That's really like.

It's too beautiful.

As a start,

no, seriously, I'm going to cry.

Stop.

homiya

ul fa te

misrach kadima

Hain

let si on sofiya

Odlohafta tikva te

nu

ha tikvabat shlosham payim

That's really

offload to Israel and do a national anthem there.

Like, maybe, what do they play over there?

Soccer.

100%.

Football.

Maybe they respect me in Israel.

Yeah, that was a beautiful audition.

Canada has a really nice national anthem.

I don't know that one.

And I'm pretty sure that.

Is it God Save the Queen?

Yeah, it's the British one.

Yeah, how does that?

What are the lyrics?

God Save the Queen.

Yeah.

I think that's how it goes.

No, it's like

God.

Oh, it's remember from our video with when we were the Royal Family.

Oh, yeah.

I can't remember.

We also have Hail to the Chief in this country.

We have a lot of ancillary songs.

America the Beautiful.

That's really a funny song.

What about gorgeous song?

This Land is Your Land.

Obsessed.

Obsessed beyond.

Wait, speaking of Hail to the Chief, over the weekend, I watched two movies that I'd never seen that are like classics that everybody's like, you've never seen it.

The first is Father of the Bride, and I love Nancy Myers.

And I know that's like her kind of debuting film.

It stunk.

It literally stunk it up.

Like, I love Steve Martin.

I never found someone so annoying in my life.

Horrible.

Then I watched

The First Daughter.

Is that with Katie Holmes?

Yeah.

And it's like, she's

the first daughter of the country.

Like, her dad's the president.

Pink dress.

Yeah.

Lucky charm has been secured.

Also terrible, but like in a good way.

In a good way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but everybody said

that there's another movie that's exactly the same plot.

Like the first daughter goes on a date.

With DCOM.

No, no, that's my date with the president's daughter.

No, there's like another one called

Chasing Liberty with Mandy Moore, and they say it's so much better.

So that's what I'm going to watch this week.

Okay, great.

I watched Father of the Bride recently for the first time, like a few years ago, and I agree, like, it didn't do anything for me.

I watched it while I was enfiance.

Like, it was bad planning my wedding.

It wasn't Nancy Meyer's energy.

Like, it wasn't even beautiful.

No.

Like, it stunk.

Yeah.

I agree.

Okay, so I guess we're just scooting past the fifth story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Avril and Tygla broke up.

Who cares?

And I can't really read the timer.

That's why I'm not.

Oh, keep an eye on the timer.

Don't worry.

Sorry, Turdy.

I was worried for you.

You're like panicked today.

No, no, I just, I thought I saw,

I thought it was way further than it was.

We're good.

We're good.

You thought you saw a bug, and then you thought you saw an American flag.

Okay, let's do Deer Toaster's our advice segment, which I'm so excited to announce.

There is now more than one way to submit.

Isn't that exciting?

It is exciting.

So, of course, as always, you can email deartoasters at gmail.com.

But now we're kind of like entering our tech girl era.

We have a new website, which is so exciting.

And I don't know it.

What is it?

Toast Podcast?

The toastpodcast.com.

The toastpodcast.com, where you can just like learn more about the toast, you know, whatever.

It has the toast essentials.

It has the toast essentials.

It's in one place.

But you can now, there's also like a little box you can submit.

If you scroll down to the website, it says dear toasters, submit, and you could just write in there as opposed to whipping out your email.

And it's all anonymous.

I just feel like that was worth mentioning.

All right, Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment, where we do our best to help toasters in need.

Are you ready?

I'm ready.

Hey, Jackson Claude.

Love you girlies so much.

Thanks for always being a bright spot in my life.

I'm writing in because I need advice.

I've been dating my boyfriend for six years now.

We met in college and we are moving in together this winter.

After college, we've always lived close enough in the city that I never needed a drawer for any of my stuff at his place.

However, I recently asked to leave a pack of contacts and a toothbrush in one of his drawers in his room and he flipped out.

Immediately said no, said that the toothbrush was gross, even though it was brand new, and that that the contacts grossed him out.

I tried to reason with him, but he said he would never ever let me leave them in his room and I can't, and I can just leave them in my car or in my backpack so I don't forget them if I need them.

Is this normal behavior?

This makes absolutely no sense to me.

And it honestly just like hurts my feelings.

XOXO, a toaster.

Okay, that's fucking weird.

No, by the way, it's literally one of the rudest things.

For sure, but it's not worth like writing off six years of a relationship.

So I just have a few things.

I actually disagree.

I have a few things to say.

Like, maybe he's weird weirdly about like toothbrushes and contacts because those are like personal effects.

Like,

I would see if he has the same reaction to, oh, can I read,

leave a t-shirt or a book or something?

Like, see if it's just about like he doesn't want your stuff around.

Also, with these things, it's generally better not to ask permission.

Like, you just start to infringe in general.

I guess, but after six years, you still have to infringe.

I feel like this is the biggest red flag of all time.

It's like six years, but there were some college years which aren't like.

Okay, but in college, you like sleep in a twin bed.

Like, you get so, I feel like boyfriend and girlfriends who like are after like are closer than more normal couples.

Oh, yeah, this is our best.

It's not as serious of a relationship.

I'm sorry, this is such a red flag.

Like, you can't leave a toothbrush?

It's not good, but I would give it a few more chances.

Like, I don't know.

Try with things that aren't so.

Your feelings, like, are.

Like, what if he's a germaphobe, you know?

So he'd rather kiss you with your dirty bread.

Actually, I've seen like the way Snitch leaves her contacts around, and there's always like a puddle of saline.

I agree.

Contacts are disgusting.

And a toothbrush, like, do you have a little cap for it?

Like, I'm sorry.

No.

No, I'm not saying I agree with him.

I'm just trying to understand where he's coming from.

And let's try it with some personal effects that are less germy.

Now, if he's so germy, he'd rather you not brush your teeth.

Right.

What were you doing before?

Or bring like a little cosmetic case and just like put it under his sink with all of those things in there.

I'm just going to like give him the benefit of the doubt that he's like a little germaphobic.

That's nice.

I'm feeling like this is the biggest red flag I've ever seen.

Like your, your boyfriend won't let you leave a toothbrush at his apartment and you've been together for six years.

When you put it like that,

like there's something else going on.

Yeah, that's why I want you to try other things because it's like, does he have other girls over and he doesn't want someone to see your stuff?

But also, you're six years in a relationship.

Like, I would hope that you don't have to play games like that.

Like, can you sit him down and be like, what the fuck is your problem?

I know, but when you're trying to like enter a new stage of relationship, and for them, it would be like, you know, leaving things at each other's places, eventually moving in together, like, sometimes you gotta, like,

take the back of it.

Sorry, they are moving in together this winter.

Right.

So, question mark.

There's something amiss here.

I'm serious.

I would, I would just give it a little, try a few more ways, is what I would say.

Before you give up on six years,

what's another two days?

You know, keep, yeah, but I'm just want to let you know, like, I'm offended for you, and this is a red flag, and I feel like there's something else going on.

And I just want to say that in case, like, something else does end up going on, and I was right, you know.

You know, you very well might be right.

And it's nice of you.

You're being so optimistic today.

I am.

What's wrong with you?

Maybe I'm just so excited about my book.

By your book.

Yeah.

And it's just like, even just seeing it there just buoys me.

Yeah, no, like a secret project reveal can

soften even the hardest of girls.

It's so true.

It's so true.

And I totally forgot that Dear Toasters is brought to you by Masterclass.

I apologize.

Masterclass is everything.

I took a master.

I've taken many masterclasses.

Most recently, I took Chris Jenner's, and I found it to be extremely like apropos for what we do.

I've lost the concept of masterclass.

I love their membership.

And I think masterclass is just the best.

Also, a great gift gift for somebody.

I've given masterclass as a gift.

It was so well received and it was so personal because there was so many

subjects in the category that this person is interested in, which was like acting, filmmaking, directing, Farts, Corsazis there.

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No, I feel like the chef ones, like

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All right, sorry, now back to the task at hand, helping toasters in need.

All right.

Oh, this one's interesting.

Hello, ladies.

Love you.

You make my day.

I feel like one of the sisters.

Let's get into it.

My fiancé proposed to me about three months ago.

It was perfect.

Perfect day, perfect surprise, the exact ring I wanted.

Flash forward a few months, and I find an email on his Gmail that he bought my diamond online from a lab-grown diamond supplier.

I immediately confront him, and he lied to me.

He told me it was real.

Keeping in mind, he's been telling me it's real from the engagement, mentioning that it cost him a lot of money.

It's not like he's struggling, by the way.

He's extremely well off.

Finally, though, he came clean and told me that it was lab-grown and that he wanted to replace it, but he got it in the first place to save some money for our wedding and a house.

We will have to pay for most of our wedding ourselves.

What do I do?

I feel so upset that he lied to me and made me feel like this ring was real and super expensive.

On the other hand, I feel vain and snobby that I would only want a real diamond and that he should buy me one and help us pay for the wedding.

He says he'll bring me to the jeweler and get me a real diamond, and he's so sorry, but I just feel icky about the whole thing.

I love this man and I want to marry him, but I do feel betrayed.

Help a sister out.

It's the lie.

Like, of course.

If you had, if he never like told you it was real as opposed to lab-grown and when you did find out, you went to him and he never lied about it and he was just upfront, like you could deal with the facts as they were and decide if you wanted to have a real diamond or put the money towards the wedding, when that's totally like either choice is.

Totally your call and totally fine.

It's that he lied and kind of like gaslighted you.

Yeah.

Multiple times.

Multiple times when confronted.

Even when confronted, like that to me would be, is a huge issue.

And I just want to say, like, wanting a real diamond versus a lab-grown diamond is not like an unreasonable thing to ask for i think everybody some people prefer moissonite like diamonds are more personal like to have a preference is not a bad thing um

but to be lied to that you got your preference is like like an unethical thing to do yes and then when asked to double down i'm like because like you know

It's different to like lie by omission.

Yeah.

Then to like stretch.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

So you're allowed to be upset.

I think you should get the ring that you want, especially because it seems like money's not a factor here.

She said he's well off and she didn't bring up cost.

Right.

It just sounds like however much you spend more on the ring, like will be taken out of your wedding budget.

Yeah, and that should have would have been a decision that like you should have gotten to make, you know?

Yeah.

Because if he had sat you down and said, like, listen, I'll get you what you want, but like, that's taking budget out.

So do you care more about the ring?

Like, these are the conversations you have in a time when you're spending a lot of money on weddings and houses and rings.

So, I don't know.

I just feel like he totally left you out of the conversation and like lit you up and told you what you got was real and it wasn't.

Like to be lied to was just never a good feeling.

Yeah.

So where does she go from here?

I think you should like really explain like why like and it's hard to explain why you're why you're feeling this way without sounding shallow because men are so dumb that he'll just be like, I didn't get the ring you wanted.

You're mad.

It really doesn't have to do with like the quality of diamond.

It has to do with the lie.

No, you lied to my face.

You're capable of lying to my face.

We're trying to start a life together and that can never happen again.

Yeah.

So I think it really needs to explain to him in like a dumbed down way because I don't think most men like have the, like, will understand.

Like he'll he'll just be like, she wanted a diamond.

Like, he's so dumb.

Yeah.

But if you explained it to him in like a really common, rational way how you got to this, like, how,

why what he did was hurtful, having nothing to do with the actual quality of the diamond.

Hopefully, you'll be able to get through to him, but there's really no telling.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Like, that sucks.

It does.

You should, like, look down at your kit.

Yeah, and you should look down at your ring and like be like, oh, I'm not even worried about her lab-grown versus real diamond.

I'm worried that, like, her fiancé lied to her about something like that.

No, but the ring is a representation of the lie.

And so, when you look at it, you think about like the lie and like the audience.

Yeah, but she, but he said he could take her to the jewelry store and get what she wants.

Yeah, but she'll still think about the lie.

Yeah, no, it's a pit.

It's a pit.

He gave you a pit, and that's not cool.

No, especially during a time like being engaged is already full of so many pits, you know, budgets, family.

Well, it's supposed to be a happy time.

No, but it's a time that's that's filled with pits.

Yeah, that's the biggest lie.

Yeah, that they sell to women.

That, like, being engaged is the happiest time of your life.

It's literally the worst.

Being engaged is really bad.

Getting married is fabulous.

And being married is wonderful.

Can't recommend it enough.

It comes with its own, you know, set of challenges.

Bag of tarts.

Just like everything does in life.

Just like everything, but it's just

overwhelmingly negative.

It's a wonderful state of being.

Yeah.

Wishing you the best.

I don't know if we really helped, but

I think we just validated how she's feeling.

But also let her know it's not like the end of the world.

I mean, he has a good relationship.

Like, he fucked up.

Okay.

But like, he has to really help her.

He has to know and learn.

Grow and learn and do better do better all right our third and final this is the one i was talking about at the beginning of the show let's go hey jackson claude i'm a loyal mom fan who never misses an episode here's my dilemma dilemma dilemma dilemma that so us my daughter is 27 and she lives with her fiancé we are very codependent on each other we need to talk on the phone face time or hang out every every day okay she's my best friend my daughter my soulmate we are inseparable i adore my son-in-law and i don't want him to feel like he's marrying us both his own mom is super close to her to her mother, and they talk every day too.

Do you think it's weird?

Should I not, should we not be so up each other's asses?

He doesn't complain about it, but I would never want to be that overbearing mother-in-law.

I only want them to be happy as any Jewish mother would.

Love you both.

Thank you for your input.

So she's done nothing wrong, but she's like, she's worried.

She must hear how we talk about, you know, other people's situations.

Yeah.

And be very worried that she's going to become that.

Okay, no, not at all.

You sound too self-aware to ever become the villain in this situation.

No, but also it's like the relationship between you and your daughter is completely mutual.

Like, she wants to talk to you every day.

She wants, like, you guys are each other's soulmates.

You're not being overbearing by just, like, being so present in her life and being her best friend.

No, but she's worried that, like, the son-in-law like finds her annoying and like won't say anything.

He hasn't said anything.

But until there's a problem, like.

No, and it's like, you're not, no, that it, it doesn't exist.

Also, the relationship between wives and their mothers is very different.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

No, if you're not meddling in their relationship, it's as if she's FaceTiming her best friend every day.

Like, what the the

the fiancé's gonna be like mad about that like talk to your friends yeah unless you start like coming over unannounced that's where she's like facetiming every day with like mean mother-in-law energy and like talking about him but it sounds like you really like him you just like love your daughter so much and you're worried you guys spend too much time together but like i think that's a beautiful thing it sounds harmless at this point totally i think as long as you like don't start becoming like the toxic mother-in-law with no boundaries like showing up unannounced you know doing things once they have kids like that they don't approve of you know there's so many toxic mother-in-law things like as long as you sound so self-aware like this isn't even an issue yet and you're writing to us i'm not worried about you in the slightest you honestly sound like a dream mother-in-law yeah no and i you're good the relationship that you have with your daughter is so amazing beautiful like no problems here closeness isn't a crime no

but things do get sticky you know with in-laws and stuff but i think you're totally fine yeah and it sounds like everyone likes each other yeah it sounds like a honestly a gorgeous family to be marrying into

you sound like a queen yeah all good but let us know if anything gets dicey with the other mother-in-law you know

it'll happen it always does

They're engaged.

They're engaged, right?

They haven't even had the wedding yet.

Right.

So things are about to get really tough.

Really tough.

Godspeed to you, my toaster friend.

That's our show.

That's the toast.

Before you head out for the day, before we head out for the day, make sure to head to thecamperandthelor.com.

Click on the link in Jackie's bio.

It'll be in My Stories.

It'll be the toast stories.

You'll be able to find it.

You can also just search on Amazon or search on Google, Target.

The Camper and the Counselor by Jackie Oshray.

Support women authors.

This book will change your life.

And that's our show.

What did I forget anything?

It is just a wonderful children's book.

And it's honestly, it's fun for the mamas.

It's so fun to read.

It is.

Like that iambic rhyme is, it hits different.

It hits every time.

And I'm just really excited that it's out there.

I've literally been like, it's been in the background of like all my pictures that I'm taking.

Like, I actually haven't even, it's probably Easter eggs and like some of like my Instagram stories because it's just literally constantly next to me because we're always reading it or just looking at it.

And I'm so excited to share it with everyone.

And I'm so excited for the sequel, The Turd and the Turd.

Yeah.

So stay tuned for that pre-order link.

But in the meantime, this one.

In the meantime, this one, and then I'll get to working on the sequel.

Oh, you haven't even started?

Let's discuss it.

No, I have to, like, the idea of the words.

The story needs to write itself, yeah.

And then let the words fall where they may.

Fall where they may.

Exactly.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of Millennium Morning Show where we deal with the fast festivities that you need to know every Monday, Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please remember to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

This episode was like so crazy.

We're also available on the podcast every week, podcasts can be found at Spotify, IT, Stitcher, Public Review, IR Reading Cast Box, all the ways we have listened to podcasts, find find us at Toastman Festival, View at a Beautiful Standing, and Wicked Talented.

We are.

Hope you guys have an amazing Wednesday.

I'm in the studio tomorrow with Bane, and it's going to be fabulous.

So I'll see you there.

Love ya.

Bye.