Cardigan vs. Nardigan: Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Tuesday, Jacks.

How you dering?

I'm dern good-ish.

Good-ish.

Go, go.

Okay, so here's my situation.

I don't have a ton of clothes here right now, and so I'm kind of like

cycled through everything.

I've worn it like once on the toast, so I asked Claudia to bring me some sweaters today.

So I came in like leggings and a tank with like these cute sandals.

And she brought me the cardigans that she owns, which is so sweet of her It's so sweet and so generous and what have you done since receiving my cardigans trashed them because they're so ugly and it's not your fault You're so mean.

You brought the car you brought the cardigans.

I brought you the clothes off my back.

Yeah, literally you now own all of my cardigans.

Yeah, I must say it's probably not that hard for you to part with them because they're they're so stunning.

I love them all.

You're a bitch.

Like I hate how I look today.

So that's why I'm not great because I hate how I look.

Even though I got a blood and a haircut yesterday, I was so excited to be on the toes and I just have nothing to wear.

I can't wait for the comments to roll and be like Jackie obsessed with that sweater.

Link, link, link.

Link.

Link the sweater, Jax.

Okay.

Tourney, where's the sweater from?

I will be shocked if anyone says that in earnest.

I wore it on the toes and I got so many messages.

So many.

Yeah.

Really?

Just hurtful.

Like, my God, schlept all these cardigans here just to be yelled at and made fun of.

I'm not upset with you.

I'm upset with my situation.

I'm upset with my situation.

Whatever.

And like, you get to look so great.

Well, I bought a new outfit and I'm excited about it.

Well, I bought a new outfit too.

And literally, we had the exact same morning because I put on my boy set law.

Boy set lai?

Boy sly set.

They had a big sale last week.

And I just looked like a fucking blimp.

But you're a sour blimp.

So I couldn't walk out of the house like that.

Jackie, what happened to no negative self-talk?

What happened to reality?

Such Such a good rebuttal.

What about reality?

But in reality, you actually look great today, so stop.

Okay, thanks.

Like, I like the sweater.

Your hair looks great.

You've got, you know, a nice flush to your skin.

Leave it alone.

Thank you.

Leave it alone.

Okay, I just wanted to say, like, if you're looking at me being like, what the fuck is she wearing?

That's so not her.

I just want to say, like.

It's trying times and I've been ordering so many maternity clothes and doing well, but some things like I got a lot of athleisure not right for the toes some things that would show leg not right for the toes.

Here's the thing.

It's like you can order as many clothes as you you want they'll last you a week like new clothes

are like fleeting it's like there's so many days in the week yeah

and if anybody ever actually like went through the last couple of months of like what i wear on the toast they would see like six items i literally wear the same six things but like i shake them up every week yeah what do people

i I need to get to that place.

Right now I have like three good things.

Okay, we'll keep building.

When I have a new sweater, you're welcome.

Now I have this gorgeous new sweater.

And I also gifted Jackie the period sweater that I always wear that she loves.

I hate.

And I figured it was time, you know, for the passing of the torch.

Not only did I only want cardigans, like I don't want something to put over my head that's just like blimp season.

It's horizontal stripes.

Oof.

It's a beautiful sweater with meaning and history.

And it's ugly colors.

It has meaning.

That have no place in May.

It has meaning.

It has history.

And it's got family.

It's a family heirloom at this point.

I just think you're trying to sabotage me.

Like, you show up looking like that and then you bring me this sweater.

Wow.

It's like day two of just like kind of starting the show.

Tension with attacking.

No, not tension because it's not coming from me.

Tension requires two sort of tense parties.

This is just an attack, attack, attack.

Your aggressive act came in the form of this sweater.

Okay.

Okay.

Should I put my button down back on that I wore over here?

You look great.

Stop.

Okay.

What if Harry heard his mom talking like this about herself, the woman he loves?

He would say, yeah, mom, it's looks fucking.

I'm really, I'm being, I'm becoming hurt.

I'm becoming why you didn't make it, you didn't crochet it.

I might as well have.

And how do you know that I didn't?

You didn't even ask where it's from.

It's Zara.

I can read the label.

You didn't even ask.

I didn't ask.

I need to ask, even though I could see it.

I crocheted that sweater with my till my fingers bled.

It's made with so much love.

Is that what the hearts are for?

I will not participate in this mock, in this charade.

Mocking me.

No, no, I'm not sorry.

Thank you.

You should be.

No, no, no.

I'm fine.

The wrong salutation.

I'll take you.

And I'll take the sorry.

I know you was an instinct, but I'll take it.

I'll take it.

A reflex.

We've got a great show today.

What about you?

Anything to say in my direction?

Oh, yeah.

You're welcome.

Yada.

Well, yum.

We've got a great show today.

Lots to discuss.

Girly swirlies, just being girlies.

And swirlies.

And turties.

And shirties.

Shirties.

Shirties.

Shirties.

So, yeah, that's like what's up with me.

Oh, I started Andy Cohen's book last night.

And I'm about halfway through.

His books are just like so easy to read.

It's basically a diary where he diaries his life every day.

I find it really interesting, but I also was thinking, like, there's so much about his book that's like very in the know in terms of like Bravo, in terms of New York, and just in terms of like entertainment industry, that I feel like if you're not really into either of those things, like, why would you pick up the book?

But like, it might be confusing, you know?

Like what?

Well, first of all, he refers to like every Bravo liberty just by their first name.

And it's like, well,

every day he documents the book and then he's like, finished the show, watch up, and I've waited Craig and Page.

It's like, well, what if you don't watch Summerhouse?

You know what I mean?

It's a little in the know.

And then he's also just talking about like.

There was also some interesting things he'd be saying how he had a meeting with Casey and Danielle from the Bitch Sash podcast.

And they pitched him an idea to like package their old podcast episodes for Radio Andy content.

So it's just like interesting, like business stuff.

But like, does everyone care about that?

That's interesting to me, but I don't know that that's interesting to everyone.

What happened with it?

Never followed up.

I don't think it ended up panning out.

Interesting.

Yeah, but he is really close with Casey and Danielle.

He had dinner with them like one of the nights.

He goes out to dinner every, he puts a kid down and goes to dinner.

I'm like, how much energy do you have?

I guess he does work at night too.

So like having dinner before is like not a big one.

How many times does he wake up?

Oh, literally,

you would actually find the book interesting.

It's really like a working dad because he like documents every day when the kids wake up.

So sometimes it's 4.30 and most of the time it's like 6.45.

Yeah.

But that's another takeaway from my book, The Man Doesn't Sleep.

But he does nap every day when the kids are napping.

Oh, that's nice.

And also as you get older, you just require less sleep.

Yeah.

But he works mornings Radio Andy and nights

Watch Happens Live.

But successful people just don't sleep.

Like that's kind of a prerequisite to being successful.

So true.

You're not getting your standard nine hours.

And that's why I feel like I'm definitely limited in my success.

Like I think I'm probably close to like hitting my peak because like you bet your ass isn't sleeping nine hours a night.

Yeah.

I slept nine hours last night.

I woke up like I was hit by a truck like it wasn't enough time.

No, I slept not enough hours last night.

I woke up at 4.30.

Maybe that means you're like in your successful era.

Totally.

Except it's not like I like did something productive towards my career this morning.

You reared your child.

But I did rear my child.

That's productive towards everything.

That's true.

Towards having it all.

Well, I think Andy Cohen is like really as close as it comes to having it all.

So the book starts where he's like about to have the second kid.

Okay.

So you see him like life is as a dad of one and then a dad of two.

And what I really like about the book is like he wakes up with a pit every day about something he said either on the radio and something he said.

The book starts after New Year's Eve and it was right after he called Ryan Seacrest a loser and went on the Bill de Blasio rant.

And it was like the Bill de Blasio thing, like he became a New York hero.

Like people on the street were like pounding him.

And then with the Ryan Seacrest thing, he had like such a pit because Kelly Ripa is like such a good friend of his and this was Kelly and Ryan.

And he didn't realize he called Ryan Seacrest a loser.

He just meant the people that work at ABC are losers.

Got it.

And he was just saying that like coming from like NBC supremacy.

No, he was NCNN, but like yeah.

But just like rival networks.

Yeah, yeah.

And he was drunk.

Like it was, he's like, who cares?

Like people leave this show on for five hours.

Like nobody actually watches, but it's five hours of like me saying stuff.

Right.

So I actually really resonated with like literally every day it's a pit.

And every day he says something, it gets picked up.

Yeah.

And he also, he was, so it's actually really interesting where we are in the book, a lot of interesting things happen, things are happening that he's trying to navigate.

Like Jenny from Salt Lake City, her old Facebook post resurfacing.

Mary and her crazy shit and then not showing up to the reunion.

So he basically just like, all he like he doesn't really have an opinion on anything.

He just doesn't want to get like dragged into people's shit.

Yeah.

So he was like, he like, I think what he said was like, you know, we're doing our best at vetting, vetting people.

And like then that got picked up and he just like can't win.

But also what's interesting about Andy is he literally never leaves the West Village.

And when he does, he can never get a cab home.

Like he can never find a cab.

He pretty much like once a week takes a ride from a fan.

Why doesn't he have Uber?

He does, but like, I guess he's, he's always in midtown by like Sirius XM where there's like so much traffic or the West Village where where there's so much traffic.

He can never, he's always like waiting out

for a ride and like someone will always pull over and be like, oh my wife is a fan.

Like a truck driver was like, oh my god, my wife.

So we FaceTimed the wife from the truck and literally took a ride downtown from this truck driver.

That's really sweet, but like why not have a car?

Yeah, and he's rich.

Like he could have a car and driver totally.

But he said like someday like one day like like no uber would pick him up and there was like no fan in sight that he was like actually like modeling his face in the street like so everyone could see him on display like hoping that someone would pick it up it's a really funny book it does get a little repetitive because it's just like every day like here's what i did with the kids watched rapids live and then every couple of days there's something crazy that happens but like for sometimes but i find myself googling so much because he was basically saying

it was tough because he's was preparing for his daughter to be born so he taped like a week of shows in one day.

So it's 10 guests.

You have to guess who it was.

I literally went to Google.

I was like, who was a guest on the week of April 6th?

And there was like 10 people.

He said there was somebody so rude to the staff, like he never saw anything like it.

And then on the show was like a delight.

And now they're banned from Watch What Happens Live.

Do you, who are the names from that week?

It was confusing because like the names that he had cited, who he said it wasn't them, but like we filmed with this person, weren't on the schedule.

It was, he made it impossible for someone to figure out.

Yeah.

But there's like a lot of, there's a lot of good tea and I haven't gotten to the mega markle thing yet.

Right.

So I'm assuming there's more tea to be had.

Okay, you're making a good case for it.

I mean, read it.

No, you would would like it.

Just like a lot of like the balancing, like, and he's like, I refuse to be like an in-involved, a non-involved parent.

Like, and he's totally transparent.

Like, he has help.

He has a baby nurse.

And he just has like a nanny for the kids.

But he's really like as involved as he could be at his level of success.

Right.

And it's really sweet.

That's nice.

Okay.

I'm feeling influenced.

Yeah, it's good.

No, but it's just so light and so easy.

Like after reading this book for my book club that was really like genuinely fucking horrible, the things we left in which we unfinished,

which took me quite literally two weeks to finish.

This book, after last night, I'm ready, like 45% in.

It's just like light and easy and fun and fresh.

Nice.

Speaking of books, I read and finished the Sally Hepworth book, the new one, The Soulmate.

That I'm going to choose for my book club.

We love Sally Hepworth here.

And I loved The Soulmate.

I really did not know like what was going to be.

And it pulls you in really quickly.

And I really enjoyed my time with it, like just as much as every other book, maybe even more than some others.

I would have to like think about them in order to rate them.

They're all good.

The thing is, you pick up a Sally Hepworth book, she's like an Ellen Hildebrand now.

Like, it's going to be good.

It's going to be good.

And that's such a relief.

Yeah.

No, it was really good.

So.

So I'm choosing it.

You recommend.

Yeah.

Okay.

Because the book club's going through a drought.

Like, we thought this book was going to save us.

Book clubs, that's part of book club.

Like, unless you're following,

or unless it's something that someone in the club has already read.

But that ruins it.

And then they recommend it to the group.

Like, if you guys are going in blind, like, part of book club is flopping.

I mean, the redheads?

No, we know all about that.

I know.

And what's really tough is that, like, everyone in our book club is like a really active reader.

They read like a couple books a month.

So we can't choose anything like obvious that's charting on Goodreads because somebody has already read it.

Same with the Redheads.

It's just so hard to be us.

We make this life look easy, Jax.

But it's not.

It's not easy to be a part of a thriving book club.

No, it's really not.

But did I tell you we came up with a name for our book club?

The Yellowbellies?

No.

The Balabusta Book Club.

Oh, that's good.

Because like everyone, mostly everyone in it is like a wife.

Actually, everyone in it is like a domesticated queen.

And when we meet up, everyone like cooks and like sets the table and makes it like a real dinner party.

And Balabusta is, what, Yiddish?

Yeah.

For like, you know, a nice homemaking queen.

Yeah.

So we're the Balabusta Book Club.

I like it.

Oh, and everyone in it is Jewish, so they knew what Balabusta meant.

I like that a lot.

Mm.

Because

I like it.

I forget what I gave you one other suggestion.

It was like booked and busy or something like that.

Cooked and booked because we're always cooking or something.

That's good.

No, I didn't give you that.

Yeah, but then it sounds like we're like making drugs.

True.

No, I like Balabuster Book Club.

Speaking of drugs, this morning while I was getting...

Balabusta.

I think it's Balabusta, not Buster.

I didn't say Buster.

Balabusta.

Balabusta.

Speaking of drugs, when I was getting ready this morning, I watched a new episode of Good Guys, and it was so good.

I saw what you posted, and I found it a little hurtful.

I know.

Well, obviously.

I found it hurtful towards the toast.

I found it hurtful towards the Redheads.

Well, I said that Good Guys is literally the best podcast out there, but I was just trying to hype them up.

Obviously, didn't mean like, you know, it's number one in the world.

Like, it was obviously just a euphemism.

I figured you, of all people, could read through my euphemisms.

Yeah, I don't know.

You said it so emphatically, and you don't really like give away.

Well, I was just like cackling.

It's really so funny.

You're allowed to, you're allowed to.

I'm allowed to like something?

Yeah.

Okay, thanks.

And they just did like a whole top, like section at the beginning talking about drugs, like experimenting with drugs and like the first time they've ever tried.

And Josh obviously like ended up becoming a drug addict, but they kept it really like light and funny and Josh was saying like how he tried MDMA for the first time and he was like guess where I was and Ben was like a rave he was like I was in my apartment completely alone what yeah

Was that like while he was a drug addict?

I think it was on the way.

On the way.

Well, it was actually really interesting.

What he said was like, I didn't think I was a drug addict because I would take drugs and like feel like myself.

Like I had no insecurities and I was like alive.

So he was like, it never occurred to me that I was literally becoming an addict.

I just thought I was becoming myself.

It was really interesting.

That is interesting.

That's what you get on the good guys, like hilarity, but realness.

Introspection.

Introspection.

And Josh is like, you know, just like a dad and like really has lived.

Yeah.

And so, and Ben is in the process of living.

So they really offer a very unique perspective.

And so does Josh give Ben advice?

Yeah.

Well, Ben was telling the story on the podcast of like one of the only times he's ever done Molly.

And the first time he did it, he was at like a rave when he was in college.

At he was visiting a friend at the University of Albany.

Ben said this?

Yeah.

Okay.

And somebody gave him Molly and he was like, you know what?

Sure.

And literally 10 minutes later, it was like 12 o'clock.

So he was like, perfect timing.

10 minutes later, the lights turned on and the party was over.

You need to walk home on Molly.

Ooh.

Yeah.

That's why you shouldn't do drugs.

Yeah, because you just never know when the party's going to be over.

You never know when they're going to turn the lights on.

Yeah.

You can't time it.

No, you really shouldn't do drugs.

No, definitely not.

They're so unsafe.

They're literally illegal.

Well, that too.

But you just never, you don't know what you're getting.

So true.

It's just all mixed up.

In these dark economic times, like people do anything for a buck.

Yeah, no, it's all crap out there.

So just be safe, you guys.

That's the lesson of today's episode.

Yeah.

What else?

Not much else.

It's my second coffee today.

Mine as well.

I'm not well.

I'm not well either because I woke up early.

Why aren't you well?

You got nine out.

Because I'm like a disgusting slob who doesn't take care of herself and all she does is like sleep and wonder why she's tired.

Got it.

Also, stay tuned for tomorrow's episode because tonight is the night I'm like really hoping to run into Taylor Swift.

Like Taylor was out and about last night.

We're going to talk about it.

She's in New York.

I'm going out to like a hotspot tonight.

And I just, I feel it.

I feel like she's going to be there.

Okay.

Manifest it.

No, just like, please.

I've like so many of my friends in the last few weeks have like been at the place that Taylor was at and they text like, oh my god, she's here.

Yeah.

Like it's happened like two or three times.

When is it my turn?

I just feel like she might like stay in tonight with Maddie.

No.

It's Tuesday.

But it is gorgeous weather.

It's gorgeous weather.

She's, you know, know, in her paparazzi era.

She's going to hit the town, and the town's going to hit back, and so is Turdi.

Okay.

And are you going to be ready?

Yeah.

You're not going to flub.

Oh, I mean,

I might be like,

I might, like, like, stop learning, like, stop knowing how to speak English, but I'm going in just like feeling confident.

Okay.

Do you know what you're wearing?

No.

You should wear the sweater.

Should I wear merch?

You should wear the sweater.

I think I'll wear toast merch.

So it's like, maybe like she's seen it.

She's like, oh, you're the toast girl?

There's no way on God's Green Diddley Dally.

I don't know.

Do you think?

Jackie,

the Toast is literally the number one podcast in the world.

It is, but I feel like she doesn't listen to podcasts.

She literally just said that she doesn't even read articles about herself.

Yeah, but it's possible, like, somebody in her group does.

And was like, by the way, Tay, like, listen to this.

These girls were talking about you.

And like, it was so funny.

Oh, okay, fine.

Yeah.

I don't think she sits down at her computer every day and listens, but like, maybe she's been sent one of her clips.

I don't know.

I feel so far removed from her world.

I know.

Like, there are other celebrities where it's like, I can, there's a degree of separation.

Like, yeah, no, it's possible that they've like seen it, but I just feel like not she's so like out of our out of reach.

Yeah, that's what it was.

But for everyone, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was going to say out of touch.

Like, I can't think of any podcast that I think like Taylor dabbles in.

Maybe like a true crime.

Yeah.

Like totally

apolitical in the sense of like pop culture.

Yes, not pop culture, not politics, not sports, like seriously true crime, not entertainment.

True crime.

Not society and culture.

I feel like she probably listened to a true crime podcast and then wrote, I did it, but it just came proving.

That's my skip on Evermore.

That's a very fair assessment.

And if we keep talking like this, she'll never listen.

So true.

But we've said such nice things.

I mean, I would lay my life hat on the line for the girl.

Like, the least she could do is listen to my podcast.

True.

Should we dive in?

Yeah, let's dive in so we could talk about Taylor Moore.

Wow, it's already been 20 minutes.

Like, what have we spoken about in the last 20 minutes?

Well, we had that fight at the top.

Oh, really?

Where I was like, four toxic.

Four or five minutes.

And the book talk.

Book talk.

I guess I did go on like a little long about Andy's book.

You did.

Yeah, that's what we've been talking about.

Oh, but like exciting development in my life.

Like I posted about Andy's book and he responded, thanks.

Oh, cool.

Yeah.

This is exciting.

Yeah.

Now I have like open DMs.

I'm sure he moved me to general, but like still.

Yeah.

That's exciting.

Happy for you.

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Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome, Jackie.

Our first story: Taylor Swift and Maddie Healy leave a New York City recording studio together amid dating rumors.

Another one, like they're dating.

Yeah, this one I still will

allow rumors.

What?

Just because like,

no, I guess you're right.

You're right.

You're right.

Sorry.

Taylor and the 1975 front.

Taylor, yeah, was it?

Taylor.

And the front man were spotted leaving Electric Lady recording studio together in NYC Monday night amid the rumors that they're dating.

She kept her look casual in an oversized NYU sweatshirt and skirt, while Maddie looked dapper in an all-black ensemble.

So they're leaving this recording studio.

So you would think, oh, are they recording together?

That was my initial thought as well.

But then other celebs were at that studio.

That night, I think there was a party.

Yeah, I think Taylor threw the party.

You think she threw the party together?

That's what I had read.

That's what I had read.

It was like Taylor's party.

Kendrick Lamar was there.

Florence

and the machine.

No machine, just Florence.

Of the machine at home.

So it was like a...

So they definitely weren't recording.

Right, because the machine wasn't there.

Unless it's a

quad.

But there was a quartet.

There was like a bunch of other people there, too.

Oh, okay.

So yeah, when I first saw it, I was like, oh my God, not this whole thing being like a lead-up for a song.

But no, it was a party.

They left together in the same car.

And there were two takeaways for me from this very, very brief, you know, video of them walking out of the...

the studio to their car.

It was literally three seconds.

The first was fans were quick to point out on Twitter, which I appreciated, that all the foundation on Taylor Swift's nose had run off, had rubbed off, like almost like she had been making out.

And like, you know, when you like bump noses with someone, like she has no foundation left on her nose.

Or,

yeah, probably.

Or.

She has a runny nose.

It's allergy season.

Shit.

The pollen this year is.

Yesterday was like peak pollen for me.

Okay, that's shit.

Okay.

550.

Yeah, but I also feel like, hear me out.

This is like something Taylor Strecker and I were talking about, like stealth wealth.

I feel like allergies is like a problem that rich people like don't.

have because like they go from their like perfectly ventilated cars she walked three seconds down the street into like her perfectly ventilated studio you know?

Yes, but the pollen comes for everybody.

I know, I know, but do you feel like they also have like special drugs?

Because Taylor, that's why I'm like, Taylor can't be having like a post-nasal drip when she's on Twitter.

I thought you were going to say special drugs.

Not because they could spend all their time inside and in cars.

Like

other people could do that too if

they wanted to.

If they wanted to and the allergies were really bothering them, like don't leave your house.

But because they might have special drugs.

Yeah, because Taylor really can't be dealing with like a runny nose post-nasal drip when she's trying to sing.

That like affects your voice.

Yeah.

So she probably has that.

Then my other takeaway, but I do think it was the making out, the reason why all the makeup on her nose had rubbed off.

Probably.

That's like so, like, remember that picture of like Kylie and Jaden Smith leaving the movie theater when they were 11 years old?

And she had no foundation left and he had foundation on his like mouth, nose, and lips.

Yeah.

That's what it reminds me of.

And then my second takeaway, it's like just so funny how like, you know, people become better looking when you see them through a different lens.

Like I don't really find Matty Healy like to be all that cute.

This is not my type.

But I don't know, like seeing him walk out with Taylor, like, I was like, oh, he's hot.

Like, I see it now, you know?

Yeah.

I don't, I still, not for me, but, like, for her.

They're a nice looking couple.

There's also something about the why at the end of his name that, like, makes him cute.

Do you agree?

In the Maddie or the Healy?

Oh, such a good question.

Maddie.

Like, no, I said the opposite.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I grew up watching Awkward.

Do you remember that show?

Yeah.

And the way I was...

absolutely in love with Maddie like oh my god I would have taken a bullet for him and like I just wanted him and Jenna even thenna was worst to be together and he was like you know every high school fantasy the fact that his name was Maddie like made him even cuter because he was like cop like Maddie's like a cute name but this guy's 34.

No I like

because I like it.

Like is he a grandpa and they're going to call him Maddie?

That's like adorable.

That is cute.

That's fine.

Like not a grandpa yet, but like an old.

You know, there's definitely going to be like a weird transition between now and grandpahood where it might not fit.

Yeah.

But I like it.

Because you like it.

Yeah.

That's all you have to say.

Yeah.

So he's like, he's becoming cuter to me.

Like that's what Taylor's doing.

I don't need him to become cuter for me.

Like I'm really happy for her selection, but this doesn't now mean that I need to become like a fan of his and listen to his music and like get it.

But we were listening to the 1975 before we started filming today.

What did you think?

We made it into the pre-show playlist.

What did you think?

It sounded like exactly what I thought it would sound like.

It sounded exactly as how I decided it for you.

And just based on like what there was a moment a few months ago.

like a literal week where everyone's obsessed with the 1975.

Yeah, because there had been a clip of him that went viral singing the bridge of,

so I got it.

found it just gotta keep it don't fuck it you mup it that's why whatever reason and some of those clips made their way to to reels to reels i guess and you had spoken about him

so i was familiar and so it all is in line with what i thought about him got it i just thought he was looking cute last night that's all i was trying to say I'm happy that you think that because she's your girl.

So maybe Taylor should watch her back if I run into her tonight.

Oh, plot twist.

No, I'm happy that you are happy, like, you

endorse his choice for her.

I don't know why.

I just feel like Maddie Healy, like, pretty Taylor, like, is a very anti-social person.

I feel like he's probably, like, really tired from, like, going to all these parties.

I mean, do you see his face in all these pictures?

He looks tired.

It looks like a little kid, like, being paparazzi, like, no, stop the flag.

Maybe he has a toxic relationship with the paparazzi.

Yeah, no, I think he's trying to be annoying.

Yeah.

It was a two-second walk.

Yeah.

But.

Every single picture is like, wear sunglasses.

Yeah, Taylor kept a casual and NYU crew neck.

I love her outfit.

I do too.

She just doesn't give me I threw a party outfit.

No, it doesn't.

It doesn't give hostess vibes.

I don't think it was a party and I don't think she threw it.

Well, okay, well, what's been reported is that it is a party and she threw it.

I'm questioning everything.

As you should.

As you should.

I think it was something else, industry things that we'll never understand.

Oh, that's another thing from Andy's book.

He was like,

I did a red carpet and I saw like that wench from page six who's like always misconstruing what I say.

And then he was like, see the music man openings, whatever.

I like Googled.

I tried to find who his like arch nemesis is at page six, but I couldn't find what he was talking about.

So many things like I went to Google from his book and I was left at a dead end.

But he has like a nemesis who works there and I really want to know who it is.

I'm sure if we just read stories about him, we could figure it out.

I wonder if it's the same as my nemesis.

Or mine.

Or should I say nemeses?

We have different nemeses.

We do have different nemeses at page six.

I won't say her name because the last time I did, she like literally cropped her pants.

She like sent me a nasty fucking email.

She was like going to write this article.

So I just like posted the email on my Instagram.

That's what you do.

Like Power Move, being like, this wench wants

to know my thoughts.

Here are my thoughts.

Yeah.

And she was like,

she literally like crapped her pants that I put her name.

Like, you literally work in media.

Calm down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I think that's just like a lesson to all journalists.

Like, don't come for me.

I'll snap your neck.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

What?

I'll tell you later.

Oh, okay.

Kim Kardashian is shopping for a home in Tom Brady's community.

Page six is saying that the pair are, quote, friendly.

Yeah, I don't know why everyone like started crapping their pants.

Like these two are so not.

There's a lot of pants crapping happening right now.

Today's episode is sponsored by Cottonelle.

Literally, I agree they're not dating.

Yeah.

So obviously the story is that Kim and Tom have shot.

That's not even a couple name, Kim and Tom.

What are they going to be called?

Tom,

Tim.

Wait, Kim?

Wait, wait.

Tim and Kim?

Wait.

Tom.

Tom.

Oh, sorry.

I'm telling you.

Yeah, it doesn't

roll off the tip of the tongue.

They've struck a friendship up as she looks to buy a vacation home in his exclusive Bahamian neighborhood.

They make it seem like these two are dating and she's buying a house down the street from him because she's so obsessed with him.

Meanwhile, like, she's just trying to look for a vacation house and he happens to vacation there.

And he has like a rich community that he knows about.

Yeah.

So she called him, like, they said that she called him up to ask him for his advice on the community.

Yeah, Kim likes that Bahamas place.

When she stopped, remember when she was paparazzi for the first time with Pete Davidson wearing jeans in the Bahamas and then getting off that little seaplane?

Yeah.

She was also going to that community in the Bahamas.

Yeah, she's there all the time.

Also the other, I think like Kendall's there all the time too.

Like it's just a fun place for celebrities to go.

And I guess at a certain point, it makes sense to get a house there if you're going all the time.

Yeah.

So that's what she's doing.

She's not dating Tom Brady.

I didn't think for a second that she was.

Like, and if they were, like, that would actually be like a letdown.

I don't think that's good, like a good next step for either of them.

No, it's like, please, if they were actually dating, like, you know, I'd be so here for it.

But it's at one, it's too good to be true.

It's too obvious.

It's not happening.

No, it's not.

It's not happening.

No.

And I had read that Tom Brady had a girlfriend, like a model or something, but that was a while ago.

That was a while ago.

It's hard to keep up with these singles.

Yeah.

I never thought that they were dating, so this didn't get my hopes up or down.

No, but people have been very quick to be like, run,

don't.

Run, don't what?

Run, don't be with him, with her.

Like, why?

The fans aren't here for it.

Oh, really?

Why?

What's the fans' reasoning?

I mean, I could find out.

I just like didn't give it the toxic clicks.

No, you shouldn't give it to me.

I didn't give the toxicity clicks.

Like, a couple losers posted up some tweets.

That's an article.

You know what I mean?

No, it's so interesting, like, what makes news these days.

Like, somebody, like, there's a couple people in your Instagram comments all upset.

Fans slam Kim Kardashian.

Fans slam.

Literally, that's what it fan.

This is the headline.

Fans rip Kim Kardashian and Tom Brady friendship.

Quote, run, Tom.

Why?

And it was, they flooded page six's Instagram comments.

So they're reporting on their own comment section where random fucking people wrote, run, Tom, run.

And he needs to steer clear of her.

That's not news.

No, it ain't.

Who cares what some smelly Joe in Idaho thinks?

A third comment was even more succinct with a one-word comment, quote, gross.

I can't believe that gets written up.

Yeah.

However, not everyone was quite so negative.

One person argued, now that would be an interesting relationship.

Oh, so the point of this article.

Is that an argument?

So the point of this article is to say people have conflicting opinions.

No, yeah, but instead they're ripping.

Slamming.

Another person said, I would love to see this happen.

Why do I care?

No, it's really a pointless article.

That's why you just got to read headlines these days.

Yeah, no, that's why I didn't click it then.

I'm glad I didn't, but I'm glad we clicked it now and got to the bottom of it.

It's just so important to be like an astute

consumer of pop culture.

Like there's so much fraudulence out there.

I feel like I have a really good bar now like for what I believe, what I don't believe.

Like what headlines I could literally skip past knowing they're not true.

Yeah.

But you got to be very

on alert.

Yeah.

You've got to get dressed and stay on alert.

Yeah.

This is exactly what I'm doing tonight.

And if you listen to all episodes of the toast, you would understand that reference.

But if you skip some days, you're lost.

I wonder why like someone might skip a day of the toast.

As a toaster on my free time, like sometimes you just don't have

and it's like you could work on catching up, but you might, it might take too long.

Like it just depends on your schedule.

Yeah, I think that's also why like, you know, our numbers do dip a little bit in the summer.

Like people actually have shit to do.

Yeah.

I respect that.

And I think like they're on vacation.

You don't need to listen to a podcast all the time.

Like when you're commuting, you need it.

Yeah, of course.

It just the monotony of life makes sense to me.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah, well, we're like zooming through today now.

Are we?

I guess not.

I don't know if I can.

I guess time flies when you're having a great time with your sister.

Time flies when you're wearing a beautiful cardigan.

You would know.

I wouldn't.

I'm not wearing a cardigan, so you would know.

Right.

Okay, moving on.

Miss moving on.

You know, for girls talking about moving on, you're certainly not.

You're just so attached to this cardigan, I don't think I should take it.

Okay.

Okay.

And no, I've worn it once.

Right, right.

No, honestly, like, once something leaves my house, it's your problem now.

I'm not bringing it back.

It feels like a studio problem.

Honestly, we should get it for him to hang it up.

Literally.

The cardigan that launched a thousand ships.

Yeah.

Sound off with the comments.

Do you like the cardigan?

Team cardigan?

Team Nardigan.

Love that.

No.

Our next story is crazy news because Vanderpump Rules dropped a clip from the new episode.

Oh my God, I missed it.

That airs tomorrow night.

The way, like, my whole week has been leading up.

I know.

I literally was going to go out to dinner one day, but then I was like, then I won't be able to watch Vanderpump Rules on time.

No, and because I've been like traveling so much these last few weeks, we haven't done a recap.

So like Thursday's episode, like you guys ain't fucking ready for the recap.

You're not caught up in your personal life, right?

No, I actually have one where I'm going to watch.

I haven't watched last week's episode, but I want to watch it back to back tomorrow.

Okay.

And I want to sit down at 8, watch from 8 to 9 the old episode, 9 to 10, the new episode, 10 to 10.30, watch Robins Live, and Ariana's on watching Rabbins Live.

And then.

Toast.

Toast.

So it's all fresh in my mind.

Okay.

Well, they dropped a clip, you know, their one minute.

It's not even a trailer.

Like, here's a minute of the show where Ariana sits down with Katie and Sheena and explains like what she learned, when she learned it.

So she said that Raquel had sex with Sandoval in her car while Ariana was reeling from her dog's death.

Jesus.

So People has the exclusive clip where Ariana reveals to friends Katie and Sheena how she found out about Tom cheating on her.

She said, quote,

I went with Tom to Tom Tom because he had that party thing.

I found a screen recording of them on FaceTime.

It was literally from the night before he was at Tom Schwartz's.

Katie was like, he was at, she was doing that at Schwartz's.

From there, Ariana explains that she confronted Raquel directly to get answers.

She said, I called Raquel and I started like making her like fucking tell me what the fuck.

When did this start?

She said, right after the girls' trip.

I'm like, you mean right after Charlotte died?

Because she left the girls' trip.

A flashback then shows Ariana leaving the girls' trip.

Back in her conversation with Katie and China, Ariana explains what Raquel told her.

She said they kissed.

Well, later that night when we were out here, I pressed Tom and he said, well, they actually fucked in her car that night and he didn't have a key to get in.

So he had to ring the doorbell and I had to let him in.

Oh my God.

I mean,

like, this is really the moment we've been waiting for.

And honestly, I would will say Bravo like did not do.

a bad job.

Like they didn't drag anything out.

And we really are getting everything.

Like everyone's like fully bleeding out for this.

So I'm very grateful um but I still even with this like the timeline is so confusing to me um it's so confusing because I think and I mean Schwartz said this on his disastrous watch what happens live appearance but it made a little bit of sense that like their affair wasn't linear it's not like they like had an emotional fair right and then they kissed and then they like fought their feelings and then they had sex and then they you know it didn't like progress like a normal relationship i think from what i understand like they had sex over the summer like kind of

out of nowhere and I don't think then from there they started a full-blown affair like I think they were on ice for a little bit and then more so in the fall did they like get into it

that's what I think okay so not linear no not linear that does make sense I just can't and you know what's so crazy is like I guess Tom had already had all of these Tom and the most extra performances scheduled.

It's a travesty.

And he had already had all these like shows booked and tickets sold.

And you know how much money he he spends like paying these people to hang out with him $1,000 a day.

So he like has to still do these shows, even though he's become like the most hated man in America.

And the footage I have seen.

It's tragic.

And if I didn't hate him so much, I would feel sorry for him.

By the way, I was going to say,

they're so pathetic that I actually like watch them and I actually feel like a semblance of sadness for him.

Like that's how bad they are.

But I want to know, you know.

Before this happened, like there were people buying tickets to this show.

And those people need to be held accountable.

That's, you know, I want to talk about that.

Yeah.

People who actually like liked Tom Sandoval enough to buy tickets and want to see him cover songs that he didn't write with arguably like one of the worst voices I've ever heard in my life.

Like there were people who were looking forward to that.

And I hate to yuck someone's yums.

Like I want to know, I want to get into the mind of that person.

No, I totally agree.

They need to speak for themselves.

To me, that's more interesting.

It is really interesting.

Watching him be on tour right now is so painful to watch and a part of me is like how is he just going out there every night like how had he not canceled the shows but like

he it's income no it's income and also tickets are sold like you have to understand we're not dealing with like a normal functioning human being we're dealing with like a unbelievable narcissist like with actual like problems like it's not shocking to me that he's going out there and like getting the same energy like he doesn't look even remotely ashamed which is even more shameful what's worse this week he like changed up the lyrics stacy can't you see Raquel's not the girl for me.

Schwartzy, can't you see?

Whatever.

Because he changes his mom.

He's like, he's like, hey, to Schwartz's mom.

Like,

but before Scandival, people would go to the show and be like, Schwartz's mom.

And he would hold up a picture of Schwartz's mom.

There were people who were eating that up.

And I think that's like a really big conversation worth having.

Like, who?

I agree.

I totally agree.

Show yourselves.

Show yourselves.

And unburden yourselves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, if anything, now I think tickets are more interesting.

Like, I would buy a ticket now before I bought a ticket then.

A comedy and a tragedy.

It's a Shakespearean experience.

Shakespearean.

Like, it's

otherworldly.

I can't even explain it.

It's out of body.

It's like, you know what?

It feels wrong to witness.

It's like a car wreck.

Yes.

The more we talk about it, like, I kind of want to go.

Just so I can, like, experience.

Like, I.

But, like, what do you think about the people who are going and like holding signs and like heckling him?

That's mean like actually like it's just like unnecessary It's nicer to not go and it's a bad use of your time.

Yeah, like I would only go just I need to witness it.

Yeah, no, I will be as silent as I wouldn't bring a sign or heckle or anything.

No, I would just like politely clap.

Yeah, it would only just be to like see the environment.

But if you're going to a show that you spent money on to like hold a sign that he's a worm or whatever, like

there are more fun ways to spend your time.

Oh, and we also didn't talk about how we got a a trailer for the reunion last week.

Yeah.

It was, everyone was, you know, taking away poo-poo head, which was moronic, but when he called him a worm with a mustache, that was funny.

And there's a few different setups because obviously Raquel and Sheena can't be in the same room,

which is kind of annoying because it looks like we spend a lot of time with Sheena.

Yeah.

Like Sheena's just gonna have to take a back seat.

And then I, then Andy had said there is like a one-on-one with Tom and Ariana, Tom, Ariana, and Raquel.

Raquel and Tom.

Do they talk about anything else that happened this season?

I don't know.

I hope not.

I know.

Actually, I would like a special time carved out for Satchel.

Agreed.

Katie was on Much Happens Eye last week, and she said her and Satchel are not together, but he's doing very well.

That's all you could ask.

I just hope for, you know, a happy Satch.

Happy Satch, greater than

happy Satch.

The other thing I was going to say about Tom's show is like the fact that he's trying to get in on the moment of Scandival by changing the lyrics and like throwing Raquel under the bus,

but also like admitting like, oh, she's my girl.

And then also likes his mom more.

No, but then also, like, screaming at TMZ that, like, Raquel is in a mental health facility, like, everybody needs to back off.

Like, she's literally struggling.

And then going on stage and making fun, Raquel's not the girl for me.

Like, you're literally part of the problem, dude.

No, but like, I think, you know, it makes sense both ways.

Like, he's not with Raquel, so he's like making a joke about it.

Or it's like Raquel is the love of his life, but still Schwartz's mom, you know.

Right.

But I do think him and Raquel are together.

I think so, too.

But it's just such an act of desperation.

Oh, yeah, to like get out and like get out of

on like your

fall

from grace.

Yeah.

If you can even call it Grace, where he was before.

Yeah.

This whole saga has just really taught me, like, trust your instincts.

Like, I've been a good judge of character.

I knew, I knew he was a problem.

No, this whole saga has taught me, like, you don't know anything about anyone that you think that you know.

That's true.

That you think that you know.

You think you know them.

You think that they know that you know, but they know that you know.

And people are capable of crazy things.

Are you wearing a sugar lips today, Tank Top?

It looks like a sugar lips.

It's not.

It does look like a sugar lips.

It's hatch maternity.

Oh, throwback to sugar lips when we would like layer those color tank tops.

But it's giving sugar lips.

Oh my God, I could not breathe in a sugar lips right now.

Well, it has like the ribbed.

Yes, it does.

It literally looks like a sugar lips.

It does.

It's really cozy.

Should we bring sugar lips back?

I can't, currently.

Postpartum?

Postpartum.

Yeah, it's like a compression thing.

Yeah.

I used to like wear it instead of a bra.

Well, those were the days.

Yeah.

Imagine me in a sugar lips without a bra right now.

It'd be in the hospital.

It'd be be a different kind of show.

It would.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Our next story.

Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, Real Housewives of New York Legacy Cast, cast, has been officially revealed after a behind-the-scenes tumult.

So Real Housewives of New York City Legacy has now turned into a Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip of Real Housewives New York Legacy.

And the cast is Ramona Singer, Dorinda Medley, Luanne De La Seps, Sonia Morgan, Kelly Bensimone, and Kristen Tateman.

Sonia Morgan was not at the upfronts where they announced this yesterday.

Interesting.

So I feel like she has stuff going on.

Yeah, but like a lot of of the comments, I actually thought she wasn't in it until you just read that right now.

All the comments were like, what about Sonia?

So maybe she was just booked, but maybe she was booked.

Maybe she couldn't make it.

The ladies will jet off to Saline Beach in St.

Bart's and stay at the same home as the cast in season five did.

That's, you know, Exile Fronte.

No, that was Turks and Caicos.

Really?

Yeah, no.

Scary Island is the first one.

St.

Bart's wasn't the pirate?

St.

Bart's was the pirate.

Oh, maybe that's.

Oh, Exile Front.

No, Exile Front.

What you is Be Cool, Don't Be Uncool.

Yeah.

Okay.

Wait, wasn't it Be Cool About the Pirate?

No, that was about the man that woke up in Heather's bed.

Okay.

Okay.

Wait, Axela Francis is Turks and Caicos.

Okay.

Be cool, don't be all uncool is Turks and Caicos.

Is Turks and Caicos.

St.

Bart's is pirate.

Okay.

But St.

Bart's is also Scary Island.

Not to my knowledge.

With Aviva.

Season five.

Aviva's season five.

Yeah, Aviva would be season five.

I'm confused now.

There's so many trips.

I know, but they definitely went to St.

Bart's more than once.

But St.

Bart's.

Scary Island.

Aviva wasn't at Scary Island.

That's why.

Oh, wait.

You two are white trash, quite frankly.

Yes, that's why.

That's not St.

Bart's.

No, I don't know where that is, but that's not Scary Island.

Scary Island is Kelly, which is why Kelly's back.

By the way, they're recreating Scary Island.

That's why Kelly's here.

Got it.

But no Bethany, so it's not really Scary Island.

Oh, well, in Andy's book,

in in the point in time where he's writing he has the idea to split up Rony to legacy and OG and he sends Bethany a text and is like once the announcement came out in variety a few weeks later once they had come up with this idea he sent it to Bethany and was like I know you're over housewives but like the door is always open if you want to come and she basically was like make me an offer like if the money's right of course i'll do it um and then the next day she made a tick tock saying that this announcement is boring and it's going to be dumb and andy was like okay Weird.

That's so Bethany.

Yeah.

But she still would do it.

She said she would, but I guess since she's not on it, they didn't offer her enough money.

Yeah.

And honestly, all

her, and all of this kept getting stalled because of money.

So we wound up with not even a whole show, but an ultimate girls trip because I don't think people could agree on money.

It's just like a lot of new

titles and language to give us a show that we had 10 years ago.

No, and you know what?

I actually don't think it's a terrible idea.

I think it's probably better than like a reboot of, you know, having two Real Housewise of New York shows.

The Real House Eyes of New York Newcast, like that looks horrible.

Like it looks.

Very much a trailer.

There wasn't even a trailer.

It was just like pictures of them on a rooftop.

Like it wasn't.

And like with a voiceover, like in this town.

Yeah.

There wasn't any footage from the actual season.

It's just like, I have the worst vibes from it.

Like, I don't think it's going to be good.

I actually like this idea.

The Real Housewise Ultimate Girls trips are actually performing really well.

People really seem to be enjoying them on Peacock.

So I don't think this is a bad idea.

I think they got a really great group.

I mean, what's more random than fucking Kristen Takeman?

But whatever.

I guess they needed like a sixth.

Yeah, I don't know how I feel about this because it's like this group of women are just like...

unhinged and they're on vacation for like a one season only show like it's gonna be bananas in an incoherent way yeah well that's what that was where we got a pointless way like where it's just everyone's just like blackout drunk and spewing nonsense and it's like what the fuck am i watching that's really what the place we got to with roni was i think this will be even worse because it's not like they have to like then go home.

No, it's like a one-time only thing.

These women are, especially like a lot of them, Dorinda, like they really want to be back in the fold.

A lot of them definitely have some sort of alcoholism.

So it will be like a hodgepodge, but I do think conceptually it's better than a reboot.

Yeah, but I just...

find myself when I'm watching, and this always happens more so on vacation because everybody lets loose on vacation, like lay people as well.

That I'm just like, why am I, this, there's no thread of rationale here.

I will say like a positive of this is that this group of friends, the group of women, like are actually friends.

Like I know Luann and Kelly Bensimone have like kept in touch.

Like they're really, really tight.

Dorinda, Ramona and Sonia, Ramona and Dorinda.

So like there is history there and it's not like a bunch of random women thrown in.

The history will make it a little more cohesive.

I just do hope, honestly, like they taper the alcohol a little bit.

Of course, like when people get drunk, that's when it gets interesting.

But they got to a point where it was incoherent and it wasn't even fun because the next morning, nobody remembered.

Nobody even cared.

It's like we were all drunk, whatever.

So there's no thread of a storyline because there's no progress ever being made.

It's just like

chaos.

Chaos.

So I hope they taper it a little bit.

You know, Ramona's like very pulled back these days.

So I do think she won't be like the crazy Ramona we think she is.

Like she's very much in her businesswoman era.

Like she's a podcast, you know?

Yeah, but as much as Ramona's always been the

shit starter.

She was never the drunkest.

No.

Like, you know, her storyline actually always made it from beginning to end.

Except she was always just like saying something crazy, apologizing.

Start, stop, start, stop.

No, it's really like Dorinda and Sonia.

Yeah.

But where's Luann these to be?

In terms of her sobriety?

Yeah.

I don't know.

She's like crushing it during her tour that like I feel like she's probably not drinking.

Yeah.

I have no idea though.

I have no idea.

And she came out with Frozé, fake rose, or whatever.

Oh, right.

That was on the show.

Yeah, but she still promotes it a lot.

It's not fake Rose Frozé.

It's

just non-alcoholic Rose because Frozé is Frozen Rose.

Fose, then.

Fose.

Yeah.

Frozé is Frozen Rose.

yeah.

Yeah.

Which is disgusting.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yeah.

Because it's some podcasting news.

Okay.

And some royal news.

Okay.

Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, reveals her news.

Hardly royal, but controversial

reveals her new gig, which is spilling the tea.

Sarah Ferguson will be spilling the tea on a new podcast.

On Monday, the Duchess of York announced the launch of a new weekly podcast called Tea Talks with the Duchess and Sarah.

I hate the word tea in terms of like gossip.

Agree.

But she's a Brit.

I get it.

I get it.

It works.

Sure.

It is acceptable here.

Fergie is co-hosting the show with entrepreneur Sarah Thompson, and the friends say they won't shy away from any subject.

She said on Instagram, it's about time we spilled the tea.

Our brand new podcast, Tea Talks, with the Duchess and Sarah.

That's confusing.

It sounds like herself and herself.

Right.

The Duchess and her friend Sarah.

But it's like

she's also Sarah.

It's out next week, streaming on all platforms.

So, I just obviously, like, this is interesting.

Yeah.

Like, podcasting, infiltrating the royal realm.

Sort of royal.

Yeah, but, like, do you think the palace will have to listen to every episode?

Does she behave these days?

I don't know.

She does.

She's in with.

Right, because her kids are very much in, right?

Her kids are Beatrice and Eugenina.

Yes.

But I think she wasn't, she just got snubbed recently.

But up and, like, maybe at the coronation, I don't know if she was where she like could have have or should have been

But before that she was like in and she had like all these really nice tributes with about the queen Oh, that's sweet and I think in in recent years like she's more so in this fold So I feel like maybe the palace is like you can do your own thing, but that means that she won't be talking about anything actually interesting if she wants to remain in the good graces, right?

But like you were the one saying like Charles is very much in favor of like a trimmed-down, smaller core royal family.

And quite literally, she's not a part of it.

She's divorced, which is like, you know, a sin, I guess.

And she's also like associated with Andrew.

So, like, really, I don't think the royal family needs her.

Like, she can go on the podcast and say whatever the fuck she wants, you know?

But that just causes trouble for the family.

I don't think she's trying to cause trouble.

No, I don't think.

I think she's a monarch.

I don't know how you have a podcast.

As a royal and you don't cause trouble.

Megan Margots didn't really cause trouble.

That's why it was boring.

She didn't.

Okay, now she's not.

She's like, previewed.

Not on your podcast.

On the podcast.

That's what I'm saying.

That's why I wouldn't consider her podcast like a major success.

It was boring as fuck.

Okay.

And you could.

Okay, but I'm like, you could say podcast, like the realm of media, having a media program.

So for them, it was like podcast, documentary, book, other sit-down.

Yeah.

Oprah.

So I think it's a little

odd to have a royal podcast, Royal Adjacent podcast.

Have the Royals ever, like the core, like William and everyone, have they ever done it?

Like they do interviews all the time for like the BBC and shit.

Have they done a podcast?

Like Kate did a podcast once.

It was like mothering.

Oh, cute.

Like, yeah, it was not tea.

Right, right, right.

The Duchess.

Right.

Damn.

Yeah.

I was just wondering if that's like a space for foraying into.

Also, this is pertinent.

One of the husbands, so one of the

William and Harry's cousins is a girl who's married to a man who's a former rugby player.

And he has a podcast, a successful podcast.

I think it's

like rugby stuff.

But there is a royal podcast.

Good to know.

Yeah.

No, because

this thing is now a really, it's like a reputable.

But if like the Duchess was like, I'm doing the true crime podcast, I wouldn't feel like weird about it.

But calling it tea.

And saying we're going to spill the tea, like, then you better fucking spill it.

It's giving clickbait.

Then you better spill the tea, but then you're out.

I'm sorry.

Like, it's a catch-22.

You can't win.

I know.

I'm like, I kind of want the best for her.

No, me too.

And she's also a writer.

We reported in her historical fiction book.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

No, I really, I wish her well.

Yeah.

So I hope her podcast is boring.

So she keeps getting invited to things.

Agreed.

Because her kids are like really in there.

Yeah.

Eugenie and Beatrice.

Like, I think they're really close with William and Harry.

Yeah.

And they're major.

Yeah.

Even though they're like irrelevant in terms of like the succession, they're like major socialite queens.

Yeah.

And they get invited to everything and they married well.

Yeah.

They behave.

Yeah, they do.

Nice.

Yeah.

So welcome to the podcasting realm, Sarah and Sarah.

They said they'll be having candid conversations as they spill the tea on the roller coaster of life.

Now that we're done with the stories, I'm so hungry.

I have to pee so badly because I've just consumed so many beverages.

So like yesterday we were were talking at the end of the show about lunch.

Yeah.

And you ended up having to go get your haircut.

So like I was on my own for lunch and I went to my everyday lunch place and I get the same thing every day.

They have this like really good like

garlic butter herb chicken.

It's like grilled chicken with like a little garlic on top.

It's so good and juicy.

And they didn't have it yesterday.

And so I was like up there like with my dick in my hand.

They were like, what chicken?

And they were like, put your dick away.

Yeah.

This is a, you know, this is a Wendy's.

And they were like, well, you can take the grilled chicken from like the salad bar.

And it was like cold and cubed.

And it was like, it was like i don't want everyone to like feel bad for me like it was like literally the worst lunch ever like i was so upset why didn't you get salmon i'm just like not my salmon era you know you have to really be in the mood for salmon and i'm having salmon for dinner because like i know the menu of the place i'm going

no but why didn't you get salmon yesterday because like i just wasn't in the mood like for fish like why i have to have fish now

yeah

It was just like, I'm so like, I really am.

I'm hoping they have it today.

Otherwise, what?

There will be a riot.

Breaking up my lunch.

I'm trying to fight it.

I could go down every night, but I'd be lying.

If I said I could live and breathe without the chicken, there'd be a lot of lonely.

There'd be a lot of hungry.

There'd be a lot of salmon.

Wishing and praying that you would hold me.

I would do most anything, baby, if only

you would come back to me.

Let's talk about Rascal Flats.

Let's, because we never got their legacy tour because of COVID.

Thanks, Dr.

Fauci.

I actually saw one of the members,

Jay Demarcus, at the ACMs.

He looked really good.

He is a very good member.

Yeah.

He's not the one who got the DUI, right?

That was the other backup member.

And not Rascal himself.

No, not Gary, who follows me on TikTok.

No, but they owe us a farewell tour.

Like, I didn't forget about it, just like I didn't forget about Kelly's residency.

Right.

And I'm owed.

We were going to follow them around the country and see if

we were.

Let me ask you a question.

When we did, we saw them once together in Dallas.

Remember, we spent Memorial Day weekend at your mother-in-law's, which was really a fabulous trip.

Um, and we saw Rascal Flats at this gorgeous amphitheater.

Did they play Riot?

I would, I think not because that's like one of my favorite Rascal Flat songs.

I don't think that they did play Riot.

What are your favorite Rascal Flat songs?

It's so hard to say because there's so many.

I mean,

Here's to You is one of our favorites.

Yeah.

Oh my god, I like, I feel so put on the spot.

Who Miss Mayberry sitting on her porch drinking ass cold cherry?

Coke.

Like if I had like if I had like

insane means and I could like throw myself a birthday party like rascal flats

flats.

How much do you think it would be?

Maybe I should start seeing.

I don't know, but that's like Bobby Bones and Caitlin's wedding.

Yeah, they just got whoever they wanted because like Rascal Flats performed.

Yeah.

Like I'm vomiting.

I know.

I saw them at the ACMs, by the way.

I interviewed them.

I saw their photo at the ACMs.

So it's kind of the same

thing.

No, like literally, there's a video on her Instagram of Rascal himself singing to her.

And like, there's so many great Rascal songs.

Love songs, too.

Yeah.

Love who you love.

With no.

Love that you have.

Also, Here Comes Goodbye if I want to jump off a bridge.

There's also a golf tournament every year that's like for like rich, famous people that every year Rascal Flats performs.

I always see like a couple of like the rich people I know like posting like on their close friend story from it.

that's disgusting that they would gatekeep like and not invite me and now no now i don't know that it hasn't happened in a while since covid and i don't know if like the next time it happens or will rascal flats perform if they do i'm like literally if you're rich and know what i'm talking about like somebody invite me okay same yeah what golf yeah ben golfs oh my god please please i don't know what it is it's like in california and it's like all the rich people i know always go there's like always celebs but it's like low-key nobody like ever posts like it's always on close friends interesting i would like to be invited

All right, let's get some lunch.

Okay, let's get some lunch.

But, rascals, we didn't forget.

I just, I'm glad that you brought that up because you still owe us a farewell tour if you're going to take away the sweet, sweet music that you make.

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you so much for listening to the Testament Morning Show.

We do the Festive Stars Eating to everybody Friday.

I'm hungry.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye.