In Our Pre-Eras Era: Thursday, May 4th, 2023

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Thursday.

How's everyone doing, Jack's?

How you dern?

I'm dern good.

It's the first Thursday in May.

Do you know what that means?

That's a good question.

What does that mean?

The new episode of The Redheads

has dropped.

And I'm really excited.

I actually was just thinking about, like, oh, I need to promote the Redheads.

And I almost started this episode.

Welcome back, Redheads, to another episode of the Redheads Book Club.

That's kind of like our iconic intro.

Yeah.

That's our intro.

And you always say it.

I always say it.

Is there any inviting amongst a group like Jack's I want to do the intro?

No, because if you want to do the intro, here's another list of things that you now need to do.

Anyone's welcome to do it.

Yeah, yeah.

They all, we have a, we have a system.

Yeah, I feel like you govern the Redheads with an iron fist.

Yeah, and everybody, I think everybody likes the way things are run.

I think we all like the way things are run.

Everyone's pleased with the way things are going.

Yeah.

And you can hear how things are going in the new episode that just dropped.

You look adorable today.

Is this sweater, which belongs to me?

Is this like a sort of symbolic gesture?

You know, you're wearing the folklore sweatshirt, sweater cardigan thing.

And, you know, this is our last episode before I head to Nashville.

There is an episode tomorrow, you guys.

It's just audio only.

And I'm going to be in Nashville.

So yes, the timing of me wearing this sweater says I support you in your journey.

And I'm wearing this as a symbol of the era's tour.

I didn't.

conceive of it that way when I asked you to borrow it.

I just like wanted to borrow a cardigan and I was like, oh, I know she has the cardigan.

That will be easy for her.

You know, if I just said, can I borrow a cardigan?

You would be so cool.

Which one?

So I said, this cardigan.

And it's really, really ugly.

Oh, no.

It's so ugly.

We need to get snitch on here.

There was like such positive Taylor vibes when she was here.

No, I have positive Taylor vibes.

We have a lot of Taylor talk today.

Plus, you're going to the Aerostor.

Plus, she's our first story and our biggest story.

But this cardigan is ugly.

And now that she's out.

Say it again.

Say it again.

The cardigan I brought from home for you.

Keep calling my shit ugly.

Your homemade cardigan.

Keep calling my shit ugly bitch now that she's out of folklore like can we talk about how ugly it was jaggie was not into the folklore aesthetic i will say it wasn't my personal vibe it's very like fall you know upstate apple apple orchard fine apple fine plaid plaid could go either way it's not my personal aesthetic but it was right for the moment especially like in covid like that's what everyone was wearing it was but like she went a little too hard with it she took it a little too far well you'll be pleased to know i know you haven't like seen what the era store is but like when she does her era for folklore in evermore it's not she she's just glam whimsical.

It's glam whimsical fairy witch.

Right, because even she knows she wouldn't be caught dead in this fucking cardigan.

I will say, like, now that we're out of it, like, the curly bangs were not my favorite.

I can say that.

I'm a mature.

The curly bangs, you didn't like that.

The curly, swirly, turdy bangs were not my favorite.

Yeah.

But I'm not going to poo-poo this cardigan that is clothing me today.

Literally.

I'm sure it looks horrible on the show.

It's gorgeous.

Even like when I wore the Fendi Skims cardigan, which like not to pin women against each other, but like that's a nicer cardigan.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's Fendi.

It was was literally $2,000.

And you're wearing a $35 sweater.

Right, right, right.

You could tell.

Shit.

Oh, my God.

And it shows.

Jackie's just wearing my clothes, which I love to, you know, share, and you're just shitting on them.

I don't feel like I'm shitting on you with this cardigan, though.

And I've really been like such a champion of your wardrobe recently.

She has.

I literally was, Jackie, I went shopping yesterday for the Aristotle.

I'm now, I know I said it earlier in the week, like I wasn't ready because I was dead from stagecoach.

Like, I'm ready now.

You know, I'm all packed my flight is taking it.

You just needed three days.

That's your turnaround time.

Yeah, I charge up.

Some people take like they need 30 minutes to themselves.

I need three whole days at home to charge up.

Yeah.

And I'm charged.

And you're charged.

And Jackie was so helpful.

I got like some cute outfits for the era store.

We're also having a Spritz event.

So I have like a busy weekend in Nashville.

So it's like a big weekend to be, you know, me in Nashville.

Why you?

Because it's actually a big weekend to be a few people.

One, because I'm going to eras and it's like the world is currently revolving around me and you can't tell me otherwise.

Two, Spritz is finally launching in Nashville this week.

We are now being sold in a bunch of establishments.

If you go to spritz.com and use the store locator, you can find all the different like liquor stores and bars and such.

And we're like adding new ones every day.

But a part of our big launch is something so exciting that I've been wanting to tell everyone.

We have our first ambassador.

So

our brand ambassador in Nashville.

When we were thinking, you know, who could we get?

Who could it be?

There was really only one name on everybody's lips.

Tip of everyone's tongue.

Manon Ford.

Shannon Ford is our new Spritz ambassador.

So she's going to be all over Nashville, like promoting Spritz.

She's the face of Spritz all over, but specifically in Nashville.

So we're hosting an event for her to celebrate.

And I got like a really spritzy dress that's like orange and pink and like so Shannon.

And I sent it to Shannon.

I was like, I don't want to upstage you.

This is like your big night.

And she's like, bitch, ugly.

You're so ugly.

You can never upstage me.

That's not what she said.

But like, there was a subtext.

She's like, no, you're fine.

I'm like, yeah, I know, I'm fine.

Yeah.

So that was great.

And it's just going to be a great week.

And I'm so excited about Shannon.

I'm so excited about Spritz.

And I'm so excited about Taylor.

Like, we got like a big party bus.

We're going to fill it with Spritz.

Like, we're going to be the most annoying people possible.

I'm gonna I think vlog for Patreon.

Great.

And I got like a new camera.

You know all the kids are I forgot to tell you that Sony that everyone's posting.

Let me tell you that.

Everyone is using these cameras.

Yes, including our younger sister.

Margo went on a little snatcher.

With a bunch of her influencer.

Satchel.

Satchel.

Satchel is, and that's so on brand for satchel too.

It's like a Canon G7X camera.

Yeah.

So Margo went on like a trip with a bunch of her influencer friends.

They were all taking pictures on this camera.

So Margo got the camera.

Now everyone's using the camera.

And I was going through my stuff getting my podcast equipment ready for Stagecoach.

And I would have like this corner of my room with just like my text supplies.

And I forgot.

I literally have that camera.

When we were building your studio, I bought a bunch of different cameras to like see what would be good for Patreon, what would be good, whatever.

And it was too, I had like scratched up this one that I wanted to return and I couldn't return it.

I was like, you know, maybe I'll keep it for Patreon and stuff.

And it was a Canon G7X.

Like, I was so ahead of the times.

This was like over almost a year ago.

Wow.

So I have that.

I'm going to make like premium vlog quality shit.

I'm so excited.

Yeah, so make like a reality show.

I want like confessionals from all the people going like Dana, you know, what is she feeling?

Everyone, maybe if everyone could like make a little video of themselves getting ready.

I know everyone's like staying in different places.

So like maybe everyone could contribute to it.

That would be great.

And that would make me, it would be for me like to feel like I'm there.

I love that for you.

Yeah.

So it's never a bad time to be a Patreon member.

Like we're going to top golf.

We have so many fun things.

I need to charge.

Like I need to take it easy today.

I need to take it easy tomorrow.

I need to charge up because it's going to be one hell of a weekend.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

I'm absolutely devastated that you're not coming.

I understand why you're not, but like it's genuinely like an uncool thing of you to do.

Yeah.

It's just too much for me.

Of course, of course.

So it was uncool.

I know, but I can't even see myself there at this point.

I know.

You know?

I know.

Like, what would I wear?

I mean,

I'm not even, you would wear the card in.

I'm not even pregnant.

And I'm like, what am I wearing?

Yeah, but your outfit is really good.

I hope you're feeling really good about it.

I am feeling good.

I did order some things to ship to my hotel.

I got this very cool skirt.

Things in which to ship?

Shipping in things to which.

And I might change up the shirt, but I have a good shirt just in case, you know?

But I got a very cool, like very lover era skirt.

Okay.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

What?

What's with the face?

No, I'm just, until I see it, like, of course.

I just, I need to see it.

I need to see these things.

Things in which to see.

And I'm wondering, like, if I were going, not pregnant, since it's like not as

many options, but like what era I would have gone for so let me tell you how like when I first like knew I was gonna be going to this concert before I even had tickets I'm like I'm gonna dress up as an era me and Margo even thought about dressing up as Taylor and Selena in those matching black and white outfits when Selena came on to sing can't keep my hand like those studded but then I was like all right I need to calm down

she's such a bitch

like I was gonna go really specific like I even I bought a gold fearless dress that looked so fucking ugly on me beachside bunny can't return never ordering from you again what is this these places you can't return.

I've been ordering from.

I don't even know that you'll want to return.

I've been ordering from like a bunch of like, basically like

influencer shops, like Beachside Bunny, 12th Tribe.

You can't return.

Like I'm the type of bitch, like I will order so much up and I'll keep a lot of it, but I can't keep everything.

So you can't shop at those websites.

I didn't know.

It didn't even occur to me to look.

Yeah.

Who doesn't have fucking returns?

That's literally like Stalinism.

It's giving Stalin.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah, he's definitely had a bad return policy.

And he definitely didn't give you a label.

Or no exchanges.

No exchange.

No, oh, oh yeah, you return if you store credit.

Your website sucks.

Why the fuck would I want to store credit?

So I was going to be like really niche.

And it gets hard.

And you just like want to dress in like sparkles, you know?

Yeah, sparkles are easy.

Maybe when I go in New York, since like I'm feeling so rushed now, I'll be more methodical with like a full recreation.

Oh, because you're going in New York too.

Yeah.

Here's an idea that like I don't think is like the right idea, but just an idea that came out.

Throw it out.

Like because you're going with like a really big girl gang.

Like if you all dress like bad blood music video, the whole box.

Yeah.

I mean, thanks for that idea the day we leave.

I can't really stress how entirely helpful that is.

But is that a good idea?

Of course, we could have made like sick TikToks where we all pretended to be like Zendaya and

Olivia Benson.

Thanks so much, bitch.

Like, my God.

Well,

at least you're not, that song sucks.

She does perform that song.

I actually.

I'm sure she does a good version of it.

And she does like a short one.

Perfect.

Yeah, because there's like a bunch of eras.

Like we just got Reputation tour we just got 1989 we've never seen folklore evermore a lot of us weren't there for debut or you know so she does a bridge like 1989 she does like shake it off bad blood like the songs everybody hates and she does them really short like i love that yeah so that's like a good time to go to the bathroom yeah

okay cool yeah so again thank you

so generous Nobody asked me like

we don't need to ask like it's it's like a universal like knowledge like Jackie has the best ideas like you need a Like I literally did a podcast yesterday and somebody was like asking me like, how do you guys do this?

And I'm like, Jackie.

Oh, yeah.

The whole podcast.

I was like, well, Jackie did that.

Can you share what podcast you did?

I don't know.

I don't know.

When does it come out?

It doesn't come out for a few weeks.

Right.

And I don't know.

It's not like anything crazy.

It's not Howard Stern, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

But it's a really good, I'll give you a clue.

It's a really good podcast of like a very popular influencer who loves the toast, who we've recently become friendly with.

Can't wait to listen.

Yeah, it was good.

But she was just like, because she's new to podcasting, she was asking so many questions about like, well, what did you do here?

And how do you know about this?

I'm like, well, Jackie said that, and then Jackie did that.

And yeah, maybe shared Jackie on.

That's so sweet.

Well, if you're going to Erasmore with a big girl group, then Jackie's a good idea for you.

Yeah.

Because I haven't seen anyone do that.

No, me neither.

Yeah.

I wonder what it means to Taylor, like how moved she must be by the fact that like everybody is showing up and showing out for her.

Like people go to concerts, shows, the theater, they're wearing merch.

And they

at best.

Yeah.

At best.

They look like they wear sweats.

Everyone's biker shorts t-shirt, like, which that's just how people dress.

But, like, everyone just decided to be black tie for Taylor Swift.

And it must be like so

flattering for her.

And I just, I wonder what it means to her.

Yeah.

Either people are dressing up to the nines, like Sequin's black tie, or people are getting so creative with like costumes.

Like I saw.

Like Keychain on the ground.

Yes.

I saw two girls dressed up as fire

and they were holding blue paintbrushes.

Did it was two girls?

Did the twin flame blues paint you blue?

Like, so niche, and it's so funny.

Yeah.

Like, it's so flattering.

You're right.

Yeah.

So I'm sure she like looks around.

It's already

thousands of people there, everybody singing every lyric to every song.

And they came out and they dressed up for her.

Like they all went to dry bar.

They all got their makeup done.

Yeah.

No, they all like put thought and care into their outfits and like wore dresses and seamless even when the sweats are more comfortable.

Yeah, of course.

And like I was thinking, like it's a three-hour concert.

I want to like pop my pussy dance.

I would love to wear just like athleisure and sneakers.

I actually am wearing sneakers because I need to know my limits.

And how much more fun I would probably have if I was like actually comfortable, but I would never do that to Taylor.

No, I think you'll have more fun being dressed up, honestly.

Yeah, like taking pictures.

I'm so excited.

And I just want to prepare everyone.

Like my stories will be so annoying.

Like they will be.

I think it's good.

I think it's what we need to see.

Good, because it's the one you got.

Do you have your tissues over there?

I could just like use a little sniffle.

I love tissues.

It's like a new thing I've kind of discovered through Jackie, of course, that like tissues exist.

And if you have like a little snot bubble or something or like a runny nose, like you don't have to use your sleeve and you don't have to use a paper towel.

You don't have to keep snorting up.

Right.

You can just.

You can give a little dab with a nice soft tissue.

You can use a tissue.

That's like, it's life-changing.

It's a life-changing discovery.

Yeah.

You were like, we need tissues for the studio.

I'm like, tissues?

And you were so right.

Yeah.

Add it to the list.

Add it to the list.

Well, thank you for the tissue.

It's a pleasure.

We've got a great show.

Yeah, we do.

We've got stories.

We've got Vanderpump Rules.

We have Vanderpump Rules.

Did you watch Watch What Happens Live?

I did.

I did turn it off maybe with like 10 minutes left because honestly, Annalie Ashford was annoying the fuck out of me.

I liked her enthusiasm.

Me too.

It's nice when someone, and they've been doing that, like pairing every Wednesday's Watch What Happens Live with somebody who gets it.

And it's not just like a celebrity who just has something to promote.

Yeah, and a celebrity who would be pissed that the whole time we're talking about Vanderpump Rules.

You're talking to like, you know, a relative nobody, but not in this

circumstance.

Yeah.

So I did watch that and we're going to recap it in addition to the fast five.

And just a reminder, tomorrow's episode, I'm bringing all my equipment with me.

I will be doing my podcast from Nashville.

I'll be simmering in a spray tan that Shannon will do.

You know, Shannon has like a whole ass.

I know.

Is she going to spray you?

Yeah.

Wow.

And that's intimate.

Oh, she's, she literally, nothing is more intimate after what we've been through this weekend because when we got to the house, like I was sick and everyone was like, Claudia, like, you can take the master.

I'm like, thank you so much.

But the bathroom was like literally too big for one person.

So, everyone's like makeup and hair and like shower station was my bathroom.

Um,

and so, like, me, Margo, and Shannon basically, like, we all showered in front of each other.

Like, like, there's nothing Shannon has seen that

hasn't already been seen.

But she has, it's actually so smart.

And the last time I was in Nashville for my show, she did it for me too.

And it actually looked so beautiful.

It's so smart.

She has like a full-blown professional airbrush machine that she keeps and she uses her guest bathroom as like the shower, as the booth.

And she's like, Yeah.

And then she, you know, I was like, will you spray me?

She's like, yeah, come over either Thursday night night or Friday morning.

She's like, Wait, no, I'll pick you up from the airport and then take you in and spray you and then drop you off at your hotel.

Do you believe she offered to pick me up at the airport?

That's so kind.

That's real friendship.

I honestly, like, I feel like I'm not gonna make her.

Like, I actually feel bad.

That's friendship.

She's one friend.

I know.

She's such a fucking real one.

I love that bitch.

Yeah.

So I'm just excited.

I'm really, I'm so sad you're not coming.

Don't worry about me.

Enjoy yourself.

You won't even have a thought about me.

Send lots of pics.

And we can't wait for the recap on Monday.

I know.

I am back in studio Monday.

It's going to be great.

So with that, let's get into...

Should we?

Yeah.

I agree.

The fast five stories that you need to know today.

And I'm so excited.

We have a new sponsor for a show that I'm quaking over.

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Mrs.

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People are already loving it.

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And I am so excited.

Well, I know what I'll be doing this weekend.

Yes.

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Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome, Jackie.

Our first story: back to Taylor.

Taylor Swift is dating the 1975s Matt Healy after her split with Joe Alwyn reports the sun and everybody else is following suit.

Daily Mail.

That Taylor has reportedly found herself another London boy.

She is now dating the 1975 frontman, Matt Healy.

A source says it's super early days, but it feels right.

They first dated very briefly, almost 10 years ago, but the timings just didn't work out.

Although Joe and Taylor's breakup was announced last month the insider claimed they broke up in february so there's absolutely no crossover in fact the new couple is reportedly ready to go public with their romance this weekend you're saying he's bringing them out swift's upcoming era's tour in nashville listen i would love for all of this to be true and i'll get into the reasoning why but One thing about Taylor is like, we literally, she's never, she's, we've never bested her.

Like, she's always, there's no way like a surprise guest has been leaked that.

No, but not necessarily surprise guest, but maybe he's going to the show with her.

maybe they're gonna go step out to dinner in nashville

that's like the vibe have to make dinner reservations i don't think that if they are dating that she's gonna now like put him front and center at her show yeah that's fair i think more so that they will be spotted together in nashville well

also they're reporting that unlike Taylor's relationship with Joe, which was extremely private, the source said that the new couple wants to own this romance and not hide it away.

Okay, so let's take two different lanes here.

Let's talk about the couple.

This being true.

Let's say this is true.

So here for it.

Taylor being in like a public relationship with another star.

I've recently fallen into 1975 TikTok.

And like, I totally understand like the Maddie Healy thing.

He's like this tortured artist.

He's really talented, but he's kind of crazy.

He like makes out with fans and he says crazy shit.

And he's always chained smoking cigarettes and he's always drunk.

Like I love that for her.

Her going from like this really stable, almost boring relationship with Joe to like chaos.

I think that's exactly what she needs, if true.

What?

I don't know.

That doesn't sound like great.

I didn't know what's fun.

Like it's a rebound.

I feel like this isn't a rebound.

By the way, I pride myself on knowing everything about Taylor.

I did not know that she had previously dated him, albeit like a short, brief romance.

Like, I think it was a dallions.

It was a dallions.

A dallions.

Like, maybe even a text message, sort of, you know, like maybe an attempted meetup sort of thing.

A dalliance.

Adallions.

I'm so glad.

I hope not spontaneously.

Well, whatever.

I also saw a headline that as of a few months ago, he stopped kissing fans at his shows.

Yes.

Which would signal his love and respect for Miss Swift.

Right, like a monogamous moment.

Yeah.

But I didn't know he was like a crazy rock star type.

I thought he was like, you talked about him a few months ago on the toast that he's like, you know, everybody was loving him.

The 1975 is so good.

And he's

the front man.

But I didn't know he was a party boy.

Oh, he's nuts.

Bad boy.

If you watch any footage of him on stage, he's so psychotic.

He's so talented.

And it never really gets in the way of his performances, but he's like always drinking, always smoking cigarettes, like always slurring.

Like he's nuts.

But I think it really is like an act

almost.

I don't know.

He's very like tortured artist vibe.

I don't, I'm not educated enough on the 1975 yet.

I'm getting there to know like what, who, who's the real Matt Healy?

But he's like crazy.

Okay.

So would you say like this would be it for her?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, okay.

No.

I was feeling like this was it for her.

No, because they made it seem that way.

Like, you know, it was wrong place, right,

wrong time, right person kind of thing all those years ago.

And now they're both in different places.

I don't think that this is like it, but it's definitely fun because, oh, and like another clue now, in hindsight, before Arist started, Taylor um was brought out to a 1975 show and she's sang Auntie right so it's now we're like looking back we're like oh for sure they were fucking back you know back in the day and the source says they were introduced by Jack Antonoff right which makes sense I feel like everyone Taylor meets in her life is introduced to her by Jack Antonoff because he just knows everyone yeah

so so do you believe it no

No.

No, like nothing about Taylor that's actually true we know.

You know, like she's so, she really is like this vault.

I kind of believe it.

I'm so, I want to believe it.

But I don't know.

Like them saying they're going to like be out and about.

Like, okay, if she's actually out and about with Matt Haley and Nashville, like then everything in this article is true, you know?

Well, it doesn't mean that everything is true.

I don't know.

I just, the sun.

But it's British.

I know, but like, I think, I don't understand the landscape of British tabloids.

And everybody else is picking it up.

Yeah, because once once person, once one outlet picks it up, all the other outlets can pick it up without having like the blame placed on them.

Yes, but not when it's absolute nonsense yeah i mean i'm so here for it like and there was a dumois tip that they were set up by jack antonoff yes and dumois had posted uh her podcast like a a sneak peek of her podcast that i think drops today with this clue in it right before the sun came out

so

two two things things are adding yeah i'm trepidatious of course but i'm i'm optimistic i'm here for it it makes a lot of sense

like

I can never understand what the fuck they're saying, but it's like, sooner when it's so romanto vein,

you know, like that's the vibe, and it's good.

Sounds really good.

It is.

Sooner win a fan like chocolate.

I only know the word chocolate.

Sooner, so it's like, it's like happy music.

Like,

you know?

Yeah.

Love it.

Yeah, it's cute.

So,

what does this mean?

Where do we go?

I don't know.

But I feel good knowing, like, able to make this story about me.

Like, I will be in Nashville.

I'll tell you guys everything.

You'll let us know what you see.

And I will be, like, hitting up all the hotspots just to, you know, look around corners, dark hallways, seeing if I see them.

Yeah.

I think that this makes a lot of sense for us in her next relationship.

Like, she's still, like, it's a little bit similar to Joe, but also very different.

She really does love a British boy.

You know, she loves a London boy that enjoys nights in Brixton.

What?

Like, that didn't change just because, like, her and Joe changed.

Yeah, but, like, really, all of her boyfriends, like, Harry, Tom Hiddleston, Joe.

What other Brits was she linked to?

Not all.

No, not all, but like a lot recently.

They're also just like a lot of boyfriends.

Don't be that, Jackie.

I'm not saying it in a negative way.

Don't.

I'm literally.

Don't zoo it.

I'm not saying it.

Don't zoo it.

But I'm not saying it in a derogatory way.

It's just like the volume.

There's a lot to choose from, which I love that for her.

And also,

like, she's been off the market for a few years.

Yes.

And now we're getting like this Taylor back, like, eligible Taylor Taylor back.

No, and I also feel like I find it very exciting and I'm not like there's no shade in anything that I'm saying like what else the fuck should she be doing?

No, totally famous for 15 years and like a gorgeous single girl.

What the fuck should she be doing?

And I feel like we're like right now the Taylor that we have is like the best version of Taylor.

I feel like she's like probably the happiest she's ever been.

She's so confident.

I feel like for a lot of years she like struggled with like the fame and I feel like she's at a good place now.

So whoever like I feel like now she's gonna be like attracting that energy.

And I that's what I said.

I don't think you were on the toes.

I think maybe it was Margo like when we were dissecting the breakup everyone was like like, crestfallen.

I'm like, no, bitch.

Like, I love a single, like, I lived for Taylor's boyfriend's era.

Like, I've been kind of bored.

But boring is good.

No, of course.

Like, she has to make a life for herself, but I'm just, I'm commenting merely as a spectator.

And had you seen the rumor before that she was dating that F1 driver?

Yes.

And he was like making tick.

There was like a very baseless, small, I didn't even hear it, rumor that she was dating this F1 driver.

Then he started making all these TikToks using her music and people were like, it means it's true.

And I'm like, no, this guy's just fucking thirsty.

And he's made multiple TikToks.

The more he makes, the less valid this rumor is.

And I don't even know this man, but I think he's a thirsty loser now.

And I'm sure Taylor does too.

I'm sure Taylor doesn't know this man either.

Literally, I am sorry to this man.

Yeah.

Okay, so hopefully there's more where this came from.

Yeah.

I will say like on a looks level, I don't think they're equal.

You know, I like to.

You know, Taylor's like the most beautiful woman ever.

And he's like, you know, but that's the thing.

It's like tortured artists who are a little bit ugly, like, people think they're hot.

Like, he's not traditionally gorgeous, handsome, you know?

He's not like

Jake Jonah, for lack of a better word.

But I think she's beyond that.

You know, like looks are looking into their soul.

Looks are so.

So would you say Joe is as handsome as her?

No, but I think some people, I think some people find Joe extremely handsome.

I don't

say Tom Hiddleston.

Yeah, he's handsome.

He is?

He's like classically handsome, yeah.

He is?

Yeah.

To me, he's no more or less handsome than Matt Healy.

no i think he's more handsome let me get get a nice photo of him i love like judging other men's looks and like calling them ugly it's my favorite thing

no tom hiddleston is very classically handsome so is joe

let me look again yeah okay like that's a bad picture

no okay

He's just like really not phonogenic and this long hair era he was in is not cute It's like I have to google pictures of all these men because like I don't know whether or not they're handsome because I don't look at them Okay, I'm sorry.

Like I look through them.

Tom Hiddleston is handsome.

I stand by what I said.

Like, so there are some ugly pictures of him on the internet, though.

I mean, relatable.

Relatable.

Okay.

Well, are you ready to move on from this?

Like, like, no, today.

I don't think I'll ever be ready, but yes, for the sake of, you know, the memory cards.

Right.

I'm ready.

Our next story.

Jackson Mahomes, brother of Patrick Mahomes, is now out.

Cousin of Austin.

Cousin of Austin Mahomes is now out on bond following aggravated sexual battery accusation.

So yesterday it was reported that Jackson Mahomes was arrested on charges of aggravated sexual battery.

This was in connection with the incident that we had described a few weeks ago of him at a bar.

Was that a few weeks ago?

It does feel like a few months.

A few weeks could be a few months.

No, it wasn't like two to three weeks.

It was definitely like a month or two.

I feel like it was actually three to four months.

Everything is three to four months.

I know.

I know, I know.

So the local news channel captured footage of him walking to his car from the Johnson County Detention Center.

According to the outlet, he was charged with three felony counts of aggravated sexual battery and a misdemeanor count of battery.

He was out on a $100,000 bond, and his arrest stems from the alleged incident at a local restaurant in late February.

Okay.

Late February, what is it?

Early May?

It's a couple.

It's two months, right?

February to March, March to April.

It's like 10 weeks.

So that's more than a couple weeks.

Yeah.

So we're both wrong.

In the middle.

Right.

This is what this is what was right.

Right.

Um, so what's so unique about the situation?

I feel like a lot of times, like, you know, we report on celebrities, like, even that Jonathan Majors thing that like kind of is not going away.

Have you seen that?

He's been dropped by like his, like, there's, I think there's more stuff coming out.

It's always like, he said, she said, like, who do you believe?

This whole thing is captured on footage on camera.

The footage of it is so disgusting.

Like, he did that shit.

And good.

Good.

He got arrested.

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

So no one's above the law, bitch.

No.

It's just so weird.

Like, you know, Patrick is this, like, American icon.

He was at the Metal.

He's at the Met Allen.

I forgot to talk about him there.

Did he win the Super Bowl?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Travis.

He won the Super Bowl.

Like, it's this difference is so stark.

And I'm sure he's like supporting his brother during this time because he's been very supportive of his brother, but it's so weird.

Yeah.

It's not good.

He needs to get his act together.

He needs to get it like, because clearly everything that has happened to Jackson Mahomes is a byproduct of him thinking he's the shit untouchable.

When it's not even his success, it's his brother's success.

His brother's not out here acting like that.

His brother's like a nice, happily married man.

They just had a baby.

You know, he goes to work every day and comes home.

His fucking brother, it's like, it's not even about you.

Yeah.

My God, delusional energy.

Yeah.

That you could just do whatever you want and make out with whoever you want.

Good for this girl.

Like, I hope she takes this all the way.

Yeah, for sure.

It's all on camera.

He's literally disgusting.

And I'm here for it.

I'm here for, and you know me, I was a staunch defender.

I thought people were too mean to Jackson Holmes, but people saw something I didn't say.

Yeah, just like on Banner Pump Rules last night.

Which part?

Like Lala and Katie seeing something that nobody can see.

Yeah.

No one like Ariana, like

being so trusting.

Yeah.

Like it's almost, it's sweet if it weren't so stupid.

No, like it actually is bad.

Yeah.

Like, like Sheena too.

Yeah.

Like reflecting so poorly on everyone.

But you know, you really can't blame someone for wanting to see the good in people.

Yeah.

We'll talk about that.

Okay.

Because I do feel that way about the Raquel stuff, but like, why was she just so adamant to not go after Sandoval for lying about the Uber at the Labor Day party?

Yeah, and she was like, kind of putting that online.

So, like, he literally standing there lying.

And it's like, so Lala, did you get what you wanted?

It's like, well, I was doing this for you.

So you could see that your man doesn't care about you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, you know what?

Ariana's been, she's like, you know, she learned.

She learned.

But it was weird to watch.

And it was making, it was like,

it was that

conversation about the Newport Beach barbecue party was weird because like Lala was trying to point out inconsistencies and Ariana was like, okay, Tom, get over here.

I mean, okay, Lala, you were right.

Now what?

Yeah.

It was weird.

It's like, do something.

So do something about it.

Right, right.

Right.

We'll get there.

We'll get there.

I can't make everything about Vanner Pump rules.

I can.

Are you ready for our next story?

What do you think?

I think so.

Okay.

It's little real estate news because pedophile island has been sold.

billionaire steven deck off snaps up dead pedophile jeffrey epstein's two private islands for 60 million dollars to develop state-of-the-art luxury resorts that's what i had said that's what i think when when i i was co-hosting with ben maybe during your maternity leave we were talking about like what who's gonna buy this and ben was like a marriott or like a four seasons someone's gonna buy it because it's cheap at the price because of what happened there.

Yeah, it was originally listed for $125 million.

So it went

less than half.

Right.

So,

you know what?

People will forget.

You know, I'm not going to not stay at this gorgeous hotel because the person who owned it previously was a freak.

It's a good business.

Honestly, it's a good business move.

But who is this guy?

He's the founder of private equity firm Black Diamond Capital Management, and he has announced plans to develop a state-of-the-art luxury 25-room resort on the land.

25-room?

Oh, that's like really small.

Yeah.

It's like...

It's not a hotel.

It's like a private resort.

It's not going to be like...

Yeah, it's like where Sophia Ritchie Grange would probably honeymoon.

Oh, I found out where she was honeymooning.

In the Maldives.

Yeah, Yeah, but everyone couldn't figure it out.

But then she geotagged it for a second and accidentally and removed it.

The one and only.

Nice.

I hadn't heard of it.

There's one in Cabo that Laura Mossick always goes to.

That's how I know what it is.

But when celebrities go to the Maldives, they always stay at the Brando or the Four Seasons.

Like Obama stayed at the Brando.

So I was like, why wouldn't the Granges?

Maybe it's new.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

So.

Sorry, continue.

So he owns Black Rock, Black Rock.

capital management, and so this is like so, like, a person didn't buy it, like, a company did.

Like, the article's like a little misleading because they're gonna, you know, sort of, like a venture VC bought it, yeah, but it's in his name, like, it didn't.

Isn't that weird?

Yeah,

I don't know, maybe it's like a personal investment of his.

It's a pretty decent investment.

I do think people will eventually move on.

Of course, they will.

Where is it?

British Virgin Islands, U.S.

Virgin Islands.

British Virgin Islands are much nicer.

But, like, here you wouldn't need a passport.

Who doesn't have have a passport?

No, like it's just sometimes like.

If you can afford to go to a 25-room, you have a fucking passport.

Okay, fine.

But sometimes it's like nice to not have to go international.

For sure, but like if you're staying at this hotel, like you are most likely flying private and it's like really the same thing.

For sure.

Flying private internationally.

Customs versus no customs.

There's literally no customs.

Like when you fly, I not to be like so obnoxious, like I have flown private internationally.

They literally like come onto your plane and stamp.

They took a look at you and like give you a piece of paper and they move on.

Like it's a five-minute thing.

You could save those five minutes now that it's U.S.

Virgin Islands.

Five minutes is nothing to rich people.

That's what Taylor Strecker was saying.

Like five times the only commodity you can't buy.

Rich people figure it out.

Tyler, Tyler, Taylor Strecker was talking about this thing called stealth wealth.

It's like this new trend.

It's like how really rich people live in an entirely different world.

Like wearing a coat, like rich people don't wear coats because they're never outside, you know?

Yeah.

And like customs, stealth wealth, not a thing.

Yeah.

These inconveniences.

Yeah.

No, for like regular people traveling commercial, it's like hours and like years off your life just to go through customs.

Rich people, six minutes.

Got it.

Okay.

So passport or no passport.

You can right.

And I have traveled to both the U.S.

and the British Virgin Islands in one trip.

And did you find that one was like

more convenient?

Oh, convenient beyond U.S.

The beauty of the two, it's not even comparable.

It's crazy how it's literally an hour boat ride.

Or like, actually, what did we do?

We flew.

It's an hour flight on like a tiny, no, not even an hour, like it's a 30-minute flight on one of those tiny planes.

The difference, like

the British Virgin Islands are so much more beautiful.

Like it's crazy.

But it was so annoying.

Like I couldn't watch the Harry and Megan interview because I was in Britain.

It was when the, I was there when the Oprah interview came out.

Oh, right.

And I was so excited.

I had to get a VPN on my phone.

Oh my God, my phone was like a thousand degrees.

I was watching it at the beach, like so turned, like literally using like a remote satellite VPN.

But I got it.

It's just so hard to be like a luxury vacationer like you.

Who has like a deep obsession with pop culture.

Yeah, it's it's extremely trying.

This is me, Trian.

Would you go here?

If I could afford it, yeah.

You wouldn't?

If somebody took me.

Yeah, I'll tell Brian to get on it.

Maybe they need like, you know, some hot influencers to like promote the new resort when it comes up, and I'll definitely go.

Yeah, and it's like, you know what?

The land didn't do anything.

No, why are we blaming the land?

It was the people on top.

No, by the way, I think like anyone who wouldn't stay here because of what used to happen, like...

as like some sort of being like self-righteous like that's moronic maybe you would feel a little weird that i understand but like oh i would never stay there they used to own.

Why?

Yeah.

You're going to, why?

Like, that stance doesn't do anything.

It doesn't.

Except hurt you.

Like, you don't get to go on a beautiful trip.

Yeah.

No, but it doesn't help the victims or anything.

No.

So just like take the trip.

I think, honestly, like, that's what everyone would want.

And then maybe find another way to help the victims to balance it out.

Because you clearly you care.

Yeah, there should be like a victim fund.

Yeah, where like a portion of the proceeds.

Yeah, like when you're checking out to book your say, it's like, do you want to round up to the nearest dollar?

Right.

Or like nearest hundred thousand dollars right to help the victims that's such a good point free idea free idea that it will cost you

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You ready for our next story?

I am.

Priyanka Chopra was on Howard Stern, and she's opening up about her botched nose job and how she fell into a deep, deep depression over it.

Howard Stern's making waves this month.

He is.

Priyanka Chopra says she fell into a deep, deep depression after a botched nose procedure and thought her career in entertainment was totally over.

She made the revelations during an interview with Howard Stern on his show, going into detail about the dark period earlier in her life.

She told Howard that a physician recommended that she go under the knife to remove a polyp in her nasal cavity.

She followed the doctor's instructions and got the nose job, but afterwards, she says her face looked completely different, causing her to slip into a deep, deep depression.

Not only did the surgery affect her physical appearance, but it negatively impacted her work.

She was said she was fired from three films as a result of the bungled procedure, making her think that her career was over before it started.

She says things got so bad that she didn't even want to leave her house at times, but her late father, who was a doctor as well, convinced her to get corrective surgery despite her misgivings.

So he went and was in the room with her and holding her hand and helped her build back her confidence.

She says she got her career back on track with the help of Bollywood director Anil Sharma and was grateful to him for giving her a supporting role in a movie, even though she was originally slated to play the lead.

She then went on to star in several major Hollywood TV series, including Citadel and Quantico.

Yeah, Quantico really put her on the map.

Yeah, so but get America this was like very early in her career.

And here are three photos of

the nose.

I don't really know what I'm looking at.

I think after the botched nose job, it still looks pretty fine.

It still looks really good, but it clearly changed her face, and she had gotten famous.

And this has happened before to celebrities.

Like, you go in for a little tweak or a change, and it's like, it changes your whole face.

That's what happened to Chloe.

No, no, but Chloe's not.

It wasn't a tweak, but Chloe got to a place where like...

But Chloe's famous for being Chloe.

No, Jennifer Gray from Dirty Dancing.

That's like the famous story.

And then, you know, she she was in the biggest movie and then she changed her face and then she wasn't in the biggest movies anymore right right i have like a hot take on this story and i don't know if i should just shut up because it's kind of mean

is it like tiny violins playing it's tiny violins but it's also like i don't know i feel like This is like somebody's attempt to be like authentic and raw and it's like not sad.

Like, oh, you had a bad nose, John, and your daddy doctor, like, brought you back to yet another one.

Like, okay.

Like, I feel like there's actually a lot of parts of Priyanka's life that I don't know about that are immensely interesting.

Like, I would love to know like all about Bollywood and how she made the transition.

Like I don't know.

I just felt like she wanted to endear herself to people.

And like this story is just like not cutting it for me.

Like that's your dark time, like your nose job.

Like I don't know.

I've never gotten a nose job and maybe it's like really traumatic to have, I don't know.

I'm just like, okay.

Yes, I hear what you're saying, but then like to this has like just because knowing that this has happened like a few times where it changes your face and like you lose out on three roles, like you regret so wholeheartedly this thing that you've done.

I'm sure it sent her into a dark time.

And you know, the worst time in someone's life is the worst time in their life.

Yeah, it's the worst thing that they've ever been through.

You're right, you're right.

I'm being mean.

No, and it's like, maybe it's not the worst thing of all time, but it's still the hardest thing that they've ever had to go through.

But I do completely fucking see your point.

And I also like just- No, I'm sure, honestly, Priyanka Chopra, like, has been through a lot of stuff.

Like, like any person has.

And, like, I don't know, this is like her vulnerable moment.

I'm just like having a hard time being like, oh my God.

I also feel like her saying that she went under to remove the polyp in her nasal cavity.

Like, she could also just say, like, I I got a nose job.

She wanted a nose job.

Yeah, people would have to do it.

It's giving me like deviated septum.

It's even deviated septum.

But no, I actually really did have a deviated septum.

I'm sure you did.

You liked it with a polyp.

If you liked how it looked, you would have to have a lot of people.

You would have touched it.

And by the way, you can get deviated septum surgery and polyp surgery without changing the shape of your nose at all.

Ben got like the sinus-deviated septum surgery and his nose is exactly the same.

Right.

Because Ben loves his nose.

He never wanted to change it.

He almost put off the surgery for years because he thought he had to.

Like, you don't have to.

So when people say that, like, shut the fuck up, bitch.

All this to say, I didn't watch the whole interview maybe that was maybe she said that and it's not in this article and maybe this article is just making her come off as like inauthentic because this is just giving like very woe is me like maybe in the if i watch the interview it would endear me to her more i feel like it would i feel like you know having a period of especially as a young aspiring actress having a period where they're kind of like

on the outs and you did it to yourself and it's like because of your physical appearance and yeah and it's like a choice that you made like i i imagine that's really hard to go through as a young woman Like, I don't think that this was not nothing, but I understand what you're saying, that it's, it's giving like, hey, look at me.

Yeah.

Hey, feel sorry for me.

Yeah.

No, it's just giving like a, like, it feels like so out of touch.

Like,

I don't know.

She's just talking.

I know.

I like hate.

I hate to, like, I hate to be this person.

That's why I almost said that.

I'm sure it's a very long interview.

I'm sure this was like the thing that a lot of publications found the most interesting.

People love talking about plastic surgery.

So I'm not going to be like, you know, Pianca Chopra sat down to talk about her notes.

Right, right.

She's like writing a barrel.

She was just sharing.

And like, we're choosing to read this.

And like, you're allowed to share.

And you don't have to like break the internet every time.

It has to, it doesn't have to be the saddest thing I ever heard.

Yeah.

I guess.

Like, just everyone has their own personal internal struggles.

And I just, I didn't know that about her.

I didn't know that about her either.

Let's just leave it at that.

Okay.

It's left.

Yeah.

Why'd you put the iPad down?

Maybe another story.

Because Because we were leaving it at that.

Yeah, no, that we were just like, it was giving like conclusive energy of the episode.

Now the episode's over.

Wait, there was something I wanted to say on the toast yesterday that I totally forgot.

Okay.

And then I remembered it as I was like falling asleep.

I'm like, was it about the Met Gala?

Maybe?

I can't remember.

Okay.

It's like, it's going to come to me later.

Like,

wait.

Oh, you know what we haven't spoken about?

The writer's strike.

Oh, I thought you were going to say draft day.

Draft day too.

I've been getting so many TikToks of like emotional videos of people getting their phone calls from the coaches.

I fucking love videos like that.

That's like military reunions.

I love.

I actually watched a lot of the draft because Zach was insistent that we watch.

And so I got to see all of the fanfare.

Yeah, it's so sweet.

It's such an exciting day.

But the writer's strike is like a really big deal.

So Pete Davidson's SNL episode, he was supposed to host on Saturday.

He was supposed to host?

Yes, he was supposed to come back.

The episode's canceled.

The writers are on strike.

And I believe it's an NBC thing.

So it's like for Peacock.

Writers want to be, they want to

adjust the terms of their contracts because with streaming, like all their shit is getting so much bigger and they want to be paid accordingly.

And people are like holding out.

But at the Metala, like everyone was asked about it.

And everyone is being, no one's going to be like, I am against the writers' union.

No one will ever write a good role.

No one will ever write a good role for them.

But Amanda Seifre gave like the weirdest thing.

Like, she obviously just didn't know what was going on.

It's like, it's fine.

You don't know.

I have to know everything about everything.

And she was like, yeah, like it's fucked.

Like, just like,

like, help the writers like her interview was so cringe and like there are some people especially like John Mulaney and Jimmy Fallon who like were at one point writers they know a lot about it so they're like really educated Rob Lowe is you know it's giving very much like PR moment but he's out there with he's doing something like he's out there with the pickets Amanda Seifreed is like with her full glam like it's just fucked right man like she sounded high like so fucked like i don't get it like just come on

give them she needed no like what they were asking for.

I kind of love that.

Yeah, no, she's like, I support.

I don't know anything about it, but I'm with the writers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's really funny.

But do you remember the writer's strike when we were kids?

Of course.

Desperate housewives.

All of our favorite shows were impacted.

Oh my God, it was so annoying.

We were like, come on, writers.

We were so mad.

We were so mad.

It was like, oh, no, our favorite show's not on next week because there's a writer's strike.

Right.

And this is where it really kind of pays to be a big fan of reality television because there are no writers.

That's true.

Or like binge watching shows and it's not like you're waiting for for the next episode.

But when we, the last writer's strike, which I believe, like when we were in like middle school, lasted a really long time.

Like, how long does this last?

I don't know.

It's like that episode of 30 Rock.

I feel like Amanda Safe Reed, like I don't know about it.

I know.

And I'm just, come on, man.

But what I know about it, I know from the episode of 30 Rock.

Of the writer.

Jack is negotiating with Kenneth.

And he just wants like, you know, a dollar an hour.

And Jack won't give it to him.

But that's what I know about this.

But I'm just wondering what it means for us, like as viewers.

Like, I do believe if it goes on for a certain amount of time, like we

will be impacted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um.

Very interesting.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

It's a very exciting story because it's brought to you by the MTV, movie, and TV awards because the MTV, movie, and TV awards are back.

I know, I saw a commercial for them yesterday, and I was shook that Drew Barrymore is the host.

They got an A-list host.

Live Sunday at 8-7 Central and hosted by the one and only Drew Barrymore, who is just like the host du jour these days.

No, do you think that Drew Barrymore is gonna like, with every person who wins, like go up and like touch eyeballs and kiss them oh that's the thing about her yeah she like can't stop touching people honestly covet was probably really hard for her it's the biggest night to be a fan and for good reason it's an award show that honors the movies and tv shows we actually watch true so true like not us going through like all the other award shows being like the nominees i'm like we've never heard of half of these things literally we're gonna get to the nominees and we've seen all the movies and what i like about this award show is like everybody really shows up because it's just fun it's fun it's not like so sad carpet and the awards are chosen by the fans and i do think that means means the most to most of the artists.

I agree.

So, the awards are chosen and voted on by the fans, and some of the categories of nominees include best movie: You Want to Place Our Votes?

Yeah, okay, read me the nominees: Avatar, the Way of Water.

Oh, that's like it's so hard to be up against Avatar.

It is Black Panther, Wakanda, Forever.

Also hard to be up against Black Panther.

Elvis.

Oh.

Nope.

Oh, I thought you were like, I thought you were like, Elvis.

Nope.

No, no, no.

Nope.

Scream Six.

Smile.

Top Gun Maverick.

Top Gun Maverick.

Maybe we'll get like another Sidney Sweeney Glenn Powell red carpet moment.

Because Glenn Powell might show up.

But why would she be there?

Because they're allegedly dating.

No, but they're not going to give it away so fast.

Maybe they will for the MTV TV movie.

But she did post a picture to her Instagram about their movie got a release date in December.

And it's like a picture of her and Glenn in the article.

No, I'm telling you.

Yeah.

Something is up.

Okay, best show.

Stranger Things.

Okay.

The Last of Us.

The White Lotus.

Oh, but we didn't give a vote for the first one.

Oh, I think Avatar.

Like, I don't know how you go up against Avatar and Lose.

Yeah.

Or Black Panther.

Avatar or Black Panther.

Okay.

Now, best show.

Stranger Things, The Last of Us, The White Lotus, Wednesday, Wolf Pack, Yellow Jackets, Yellowstone.

Do you think like the cats have things are so weird with Yellowstone?

I feel like no one, they don't want to walk any carpets because they're just going to be asked what's going on.

Yeah, and I think they're filming.

And I think the end, like not one of them will show up.

I do think White Lotus will win.

One, because it really was like the TV show of the year.

And two, because Jennifer Coolidge is being honored with a comedy award.

Yes, she's getting the comedic genius award.

So it would just be like a great night for Jennifer Coolidge if she could win all of them.

Oh, I think

there to accept.

A good, very good point.

I'm surprised she wasn't at the Met Gala.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

I was thinking about that.

That's weird.

Well, it wasn't for lack of invitation.

Movie and TV awards are.

They respect.

They respect.

I think that The Last of Us might win because everybody is talking about that show.

I know, and I didn't watch it, and I feel like such, like, I feel so out of the loop.

I know, but I also don't think that I should, like, I just don't think it's a show for me.

But your queen from Game of Thrones is in it.

Bella Ramsey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know.

It's hard.

Was she a Ramsey in the show?

No, she was a Northerner, though.

Oh, okay, because it's giving Ramsey Bolton energy.

It is.

Also, everyone's favorite category, the most iconic category,

best kiss.

So we have Anna Torv and Infected in The Last of Us, Harry Stiles and and David Dawson in My Policeman, Madison Bailey and Rudy Pankow in Outer Banks.

Oh, I just watched.

Oh, actually, I like that.

Yeah, Riley Keogh and Sam Claflin from Daisy Jones and the Six.

No.

Nope.

And Selina and Cara Delavine, Only Murders in the Building.

That wasn't like a really great kiss.

It was kind of weird and like soft.

I'm kind of rooting for Outer Banks.

Me too.

Because honestly, I didn't even realize when I was watching the show how much I shipped them until like the show.

Because it really was like for her and Pope.

Yeah.

But until like the show changed my mind, I was so here for her and JJ.

Jage, Jage, Jage.

And it actually, it was a really good kiss too.

Yeah.

When did they kiss?

On the boat?

No, they almost kissed.

After he broke her out of camp, no?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love JJ.

Yeah.

No, they're really, really cute.

That's my selection as well.

Also, there's just going to be a ton of appearances from celebs.

It'll be Star Studded, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tiffany Haddish, Gal Godot, Hallie Berry, Anthony Ramos, Sarah Michelle Geller, the cast of Vanderpump Rules, the cast of Yellow Jackets, so many more.

The cast of Vanderpump Rules, I feel like every year for this award show, like they always show up and show out.

Like it's really glamorous, but this year more than ever.

But like do Rockell and Tom go

together?

Right.

They should.

I feel like

this always,

it always lines up that this award show is like at the, either the very end of Vanderpump Rules or right after it ends.

And it's like a nice way to like conclude the season and they all dress up and like look really great.

But now like there's so much more.

I I feel like, and what if Ariana brings her new man?

Kristen was talking about it last night that she has a new man and that he's lovely.

Yeah, so this, you're not going to want to miss the MTV movie and TV awards, which are Sunday live at 8-7 Central.

It's the biggest night to be a fan.

Don't miss the 2023 MTV Movie and TV Awards, hosted by Drew Barrymore live Sunday at 8-7 Central.

Watch on MTV.

All right, let's do a TV recap.

Speaking of Vanderprump Rules, we were just.

Speaking of TV awards, Vanderpump Rules.

Last night's episode of Vanderprump Rules.

I did misspeak.

The finale of Vanderprump Rules, I wasn't entirely wrong because I said yesterday.

It airs May 17th.

So I think there's two more episodes?

Yeah, had a week's work.

I don't know.

It's the fourth.

So then the 11th.

Two more.

But the finale is the 17th.

Yes.

So one more before the finale.

One more before the finale.

And it definitely feels that way.

Like things are coming to a head.

Yes.

So last night.

Okay, but I also feel like this line that they gave us that nothing has been edited since Scandival broke is a lie.

I think so too.

There's so many scenes where they're like punching in on Sandoval when Raquel is speaking that there's no way we're there before.

Okay, let's talk about glamping.

Because first of all, there was no glut in that amping.

It was full-on camping.

It looked horrible.

Weird crew.

Weird crew.

And weirdness about.

Like the gift like was so weird.

Like, first of all, who gives someone a pair of sunglasses without a case?

Like, that's what's.

I thought that was weird.

Like, he pulled these like sunglasses that have been like chilling in his pocket or probably like all scratched up.

And he was like giving it to her just like it meant so much.

And it was just weird.

And it was just like Raquel was so emotional the whole time.

It made me feel like maybe she was.

She was like drunk.

Drunk.

They were all drunk.

It felt like she was maybe like high or like took mushrooms.

I know that correctly.

They were all under the influence.

I mean, not, I don't, not everyone's.

When she was going to bed crying with the sunglasses on?

Oh, I must have been on my phone.

When she's giving like her toes, which by the way, she finally learned how to like do a toes.

Everyone's being like so mushy.

Even when they're sitting around, like you can just tell they're just being drunk or high or whatever.

Yeah, emo.

So, emo, take that with a grain of salt, but still, like, that's how they were behaving.

Yeah, and like, all the weird speeches about like her wanting, you know, pageants were so stifling for her, and she started talking crying when she was like, you know, my old, I was supposed to be an occupational therapist.

And I'm like, why are we crying?

No, and she was like, with pageants, you have to have your career planned out.

So, at a young age, she chose to be an occupational therapist.

And like, and since then, it just felt like her life was mapped out before her.

It sounds like she's talking, like, she sounds like Queen Elizabeth and she's had this like, you know, duty that she has to uphold.

It's like, okay, girl, like, then don't be an occupational therapist.

Right.

And then she, like, and this part she's not drawn because she's in her confessionals.

She's like crying again about how she's like desperate to be a good role model.

And it was just like, it was all too much.

It was so yikes.

It was so, it was.

And it was so weird when she's like, I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Like, and my parents are like, what are you doing?

And they were like, well, what about pageants?

No, but it's like, what about the elephant in the room?

You're literally a famous reality star.

Like, it's good.

Yeah.

No, but when she, two seasons ago, she said she was not going to be be on the show anymore and she was going to go back to like doing the work that she

was doing, wanted to do.

And I thought that was like really respectable.

So I'm sure her parents are like, what happened to you?

But I also think she's going through a crisis right now.

Clearly.

And I think that's what they're saying.

And she like knows that she is, but doesn't know how to get out of it.

So she sleeps with Tom Sandoval for six months.

Right, right.

She must have been in a major crisis because...

He's just getting weirder and weirder looking like with his outfits and his long hair.

And I just can't fucking stand him.

And honestly, like in last week and this week, he's getting like caught in the lie.

So the editing at the beginning of the episode, I actually found, I saw a lot of people being like, this is confusing.

I found it to be really helpful.

Like it was a full-blown timeline of how everything found out.

But my God, Ken Vaner Pump Todd with his rehearsed line, like Lisa found something out.

And Lisa is a producer of this show.

And she wanted it to be on camera.

And she found it out, I guess, off camera.

No, she found out.

When that day sing when Raquel was sitting there.

Oh, right.

So why did she clearly make Ken come into the kitchen and be like,

can you believe Raquel slept at Tom Sandoval's house?

Like, it was so scripted.

Oh, I didn't think that.

I feel like Lisa would have brought it up.

Regardless.

Regardless, because it was also on camera, like the tape.

He's like, how about that Raquel sleeping at Tom Sandoval's?

I love that for him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I found the editing to be like helpful, like how the game of telephone actually started.

And everyone was coming to things like on their own.

Like that James and Lala conversation had nothing to do with what Lisa Vanderpump had already found out and thus making it even more weird.

Yeah, but Lala got her information from Katie.

Right.

But James already knew from Tom Sandoval and Brock conversation.

And it's like, they clearly had something to hide.

Yeah.

So I don't know why they didn't get their story more straight.

Like Tom Sandoval being like, she dipped.

Oh my God, if he says dipped again.

And what's so, oh my God, he's so annoying.

He's like, dude, she dipped.

I'm like, shut up.

What does that mean?

Calling Lisa dude.

And by the way, saying someone dipped means that they left.

Yep.

Okay, but in Tom Sandoval's world.

He was saying she left and went to a different room.

So no, in Tom Sandoval's world, it means that she dipped.

She went to sleep.

That's what.

That's not what it means, though.

But that's not what it means.

Later in the show, when he's i think when he's talking about the labor day party he said like jason dipped so jason left right so what the fuck does dipped mean in your world right you got him you fucking annoying piece of shit you got him

so annoying she got him like use words use that's why we have language

language is beautiful and there's really otherwise we're just like a tower of babel people talking not understanding there is a word for everything dalliance there's a word for everything did she go to sleep was it acrimonious did she leave So that whole saga just like was bad.

And then also, Raquel said she slept on the couch.

Then Tom Sandoval said she was in the guest room.

She was in the my bed, the guest bed.

In my bed, the guest bed.

Yeah.

And the way Ariana is like so unbothered by all of this is suspicious.

No, it's suspicious.

And of course, like, I'm team Ariana, like, but I'm just reacting to the things that I'm seeing.

And

I, I don't understand why, why she's being this way.

Like, I don't.

Yeah.

Like, even in the most trusting relationships, like,

weird is weird.

Weird is weird.

Weird is weird.

Everybody, like, keeps posing this question: like, would you trust your partner to sleep in the same bed as your best friend?

And some people are like, yeah, because I, like, it depends.

Like, I trust my partner, I trust my friend.

No.

Wait, here's the thing.

No.

Would I trust Ben to sleep in a bed and not do anything with another woman?

Yes.

Is it in any fucking world that even remotely fucking okay?

No.

And throats will be slit.

Ben wound up like crashing in a bed with one of your friends.

I trust that nothing would happen.

Same.

But the act itself is so inappropriate, there must be consequences.

And it makes me question this person who I thought I knew.

There must, and like, okay, maybe you guys were so drunk you just like fell into sleeping into the same bed.

Then you have to, then you have to start monitoring your drinking.

The only circumstance where that's okay is that Ben and a friend of mine have been abducted and thrown in a room with one bed.

And honestly, even then, Ben should sleep on the floor if it's a girl.

Give the girl girl the bed.

Yeah.

And you have Ben's bed back.

And then she's like, why were they abducted together?

Why were they

together alone?

What were they doing?

It's so like Andy asked Annalie asked.

I don't know.

She was like, yeah, I would trust.

But not Raquel, not Tom Sandra.

Right, right.

No, no, no.

Like, it's not about trust.

It's just about like weird boundaries and like things don't happen.

100%.

Some things shouldn't happen.

Right.

So nothing's happening.

The lunch event, it was very nice for Bravo to air Christina Kelly's fake beauty company.

That was really sweet.

It was a nice event.

It was

classy.

Like, everyone just looked really nice and respectful.

And it was just a nice, I don't know, it wasn't like packed.

It felt like weird and almost unfair that Katie had her mom there because no one was going to get into it with Katie with her mom sitting right next to her.

So like everyone just like walked away from her.

Yeah, but you know what?

I don't need Katie to get into it with anyone.

Like she said what she needed to say.

She's completely right.

She sees through everyone.

Yeah.

The only conversation that needed to be had was Katie and Ariana.

I thought Katie handled herself so well and made really good points.

I don't feel like Katie insinuated that they have an open relationship.

I feel like that's what Allie heard.

But, you know, sometimes someone says something.

And what you process is completely different.

Yeah.

And that's just like not what they meant at all.

I think Katie was saying like.

They just have a different sort of relationship.

And by the way, what we're seeing play out, like all this weird stuff happening and Ariana not caring about the barbecue, about Raquel sleeping over.

She's

like no rules.

Right.

She's 100% right.

And like if Ariana is a homebody and Tom likes to go out, it's not like she has a rule like you need to be home by 1 a.m.

Like they don't have rules and that's just their relationship.

Right.

Allie heard that as an open relationship.

I don't think Katie said anything wrong or anything untrue.

I really like Allie.

I really like her too.

I have to say, last week when James like thought he got that 150-proof alcohol in his eye, he's like, oh, oh, oh, Allie!

And oh my God, that I made Ben watch because when we were

waiting for last night's episode to air, like the last 20 minutes of the previous weeks were on.

And I'm like, Ben, you have to watch this.

It's the funniest thing.

That whole saga where James then runs to the bathroom and falls and ends up just being water in the, in the cup was the fun.

it was literally like you couldn't write comedy so funny that's funny it was the best thing ever and Allie was just so funny about it like not giving a fuck she's like shut up yeah I really like her I hope that James can be worthy of her I know he's like the worst and you know obviously this season is highlighting the worst in Tom and Raquel and we're all focusing on that and James is so funny but like it's so important to remember like how he literally was the worst like literally raquel told us this season that she had to break up with him because he literally called her mom fat like he's the fucking worst but like it's just so hard not to be obsessed with everything that comes out of his mouth.

Yeah.

And just not to want to like start anew every day.

Every episode change.

It's tabula ass every episode.

Like, what James are we gonna get?

The last few episodes, we've gotten like good James.

Yeah.

He really should stop drinking.

Yeah.

And like, he does, he kind of reminds me in a way how you were pointing out how like Tom Sandoval, every 10 years, like, is in a relationship and then sees like a young new girl who he can mold and he'll be with her until he gets tired of her and she gets old and he'll go find someone else.

It like James reminds me a little bit of that.

Like he always chooses these like younger, timid girls.

And that was so Rock Helen.

It worked until it didn't.

But there's something about Allie, like, she really does stand up for herself.

I feel like he thought that's what he was getting with Allie.

Yeah.

And he actually got

someone who is a very

strong and a good match for him if he can rise to the occasion.

Right.

And not be like put off by the fact that she's not just like subservient.

But he seems like he's fine with it.

It's not like he likes Allie.

They don't, like, when she stands up for herself, like, that's the end of the story, like the conversation.

Because when he got that thing in his eye and he came back, he was like, like, You didn't even care.

She's like, Yeah, I don't care.

Sit down and shut up.

That's what she said to him, right?

And then she's like, She's like, You look stupid, sit down and shut up.

And I feel like if Raquel had ever, would never, but if she did, he would be like, Are you kidding?

Bloody you, right?

And I feel like he kind of likes, I just hope.

I feel like he accidentally got into the right relationship for himself, but he might fuck it up because, like, that's what he does.

And everyone likes, everyone likes Allie, and the cool girls.

The cool girls like Allie, Ariana likes, like everyone likes Allie.

You know, like Lala, Katie, Christina.

Yeah, I wouldn't call Christina like cool girl, but they're they're like the cool girls.

Especially after the glamping.

Like I was watching with Zach.

I was like, a bigger group of losers I've never seen.

And then you like cut to all these like women in business just like having their shit together.

I'm like, that's the cool group.

Yeah, no.

This episode, it changes week to week.

It changes week to week.

Like Vegas, they were not being the cool girls.

They were being the girls.

They were being the mean girls.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I found this episode like so crazy.

There was just so, like, every scene had a million things to unpack.

A million e-shapes.

Body language, language, facial reactions,

so much.

And the whole barbecue thing was so weird.

And we've been, I've been hearing about this alleged barbecue in like, you know, blogs.

Jax talked about it on Watch Rapids Live.

Right.

So now knowing actually, like timeline-wise, Labor Day, the day Ariana found out her grandmother had passed away and his ride left and he didn't go.

And like, I'm sorry, where are you that you can't get an Uber?

I'm sorry.

Like in this day and age, there was no excuse to not be able to get a ride home.

Yeah.

No, and he had a ride home and he let the the ride leave even though Ariana like said that she needed him.

And then he admitted that he already left and and he had, I guess, told Ariana, I was taking a shit.

And Jason left.

And he's such a fucking liar.

And I do have like a little blame for Ariana for not like holding his feet to the fire at all.

And instead like being like, okay, Lala, you got what you wanted.

Are you happy?

It's like, no, are you happy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like she's really being like blindly loyal to a fault.

Like I don't find it commendable.

Like I feel like she's just burying her head in the sand.

Maybe because at this point, like, what we know about their relationship is, like, they were both, like, really, like, maybe she just stopped caring.

But then she, in her confessional, she's, like, crying because she's, like, Tom's biggest fan and he doesn't feel that way about her.

Yeah, that was sad.

But she loves him so much.

And I believed her when she was sad.

Yeah, that was really sad.

But she's also, like, a smart girl.

So, like, when you see one plus one is equaling sock, you got to do some of that.

You got to question the sock.

Of course, like, none of this is her fault whatsoever.

It's just like her reactions I found to be surprising.

Yeah, like surprisingly, like low energy.

Yeah.

When there's like clear crimes

being committed.

Yeah.

So I guess next week is the last episode before the finale.

Don't quote me on that.

And that's our show.

Yeah, that is it.

Thank you.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show where we deliver the fastest five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday and YouTube.

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Tomorrow's episode is audio only, and then we're back in the studio on Monday for a full Eris recap.

But we'll see you tomorrow morning.

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Bye.