Jaxon Claud Original Recipe: Monday, April 17th, 2023

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Hey, Zach!

Are you smiling at my gorgeous canyon view?

No, Donald.

I'm smiling because I've got something I want to tell the whole world.

Well, do it.

Shout it out.

T-Mobile's got home internet.

Minutes.

Whoa, I love that echo.

T-Mobile's got home internet!

How much is it?

Look at that, Zach.

We got the neighbor's attention.

Just $35 a month.

And you love a great deal, Denise.

Plus, they've got a five-year price guarantee.

That's five whole trips around the sun.

I'm switching.

It's scream.

Yes, T-Mobile home internet for the neighborhood.

McDonald's, you still haven't returned my weed whacker.

Carl, don't you embarrass me like this, please.

What's everyone yelling about?

T-Mobile's got home internet.

McDonald's got my weed whacker.

Yes, Yes, T-Mobile's got home internet.

Just $35 a month with autopay and any voice line, and it's guaranteed for five years.

Yodeling!

Beautiful yodeling, Carl!

Taxes of these apply, see T-Mobile.com slash ISP for details and exclusions.

Good morning, Millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Monday, which should be eh, but it ain't.

And you're not listening to last week's episode because that's exactly how you started last Monday's episode.

Happy Monday.

It should be eh, but it ain't because Jax is here.

Oh, my God.

I guess like a pattern of mine is being overjoyed to see you.

A pattern of yours is being consistent.

I'm nothing.

I'm not consistent.

So I think that's a good thing.

But no, today is, what's the date?

I'm going to say April 17th.

April 17th.

Ding ding.

And Jax and Claude are back together.

Is it April 17th, 2021?

Because it feels like it with Jax and Claude back in the New York studio.

Were we in this studio in 2021?

I meant 2022.

No, we were in this studio in 2021.

It could be either.

These years, they've just flown.

The days are long, but the years are short.

It actually has been a really long time since we've been in New York podcasting together.

Not since December.

And I do.

Go back to December all the time.

Okay, guys, Jax is back in the studio.

It's like, no time has passed.

Life is good.

Nothing's changed.

We're still sisters.

You live here.

I don't live here, but we could pretend.

I know.

I'm just like, I feel like I'm cosplaying, like back when I was truly happy.

Oh.

Yeah.

That's beautiful, Turdy.

Well, I'm happy to be here.

It's exciting to be in New York.

I know.

And I'm excited to be back on the toast.

I've really missed you guys.

I really enjoyed your friends and family week.

Some episodes I watched longer than others.

But what's so crazy is my favorite part of the show, even when I'm doing the show, but especially as a viewer,

is the time before the fast five.

Same.

And as a toaster from last week, like as a former toaster.

Right, right.

Giving FTE.

I think we need to expand on that segment of just like pre-Fast Five nonsense.

Chit chat.

I completely agree.

When I go back home and like watch the episode of the day, I pretty much stop when the Fast Five starts.

Like I

love to hear us catching up and I'm curious.

And I think people tune in.

They used to tune in for the Fast Five.

Now they tune in.

I don't know what they're doing.

I just gotta say, people never stop doing the Fast Five because the Fast Five is the reason why there's a show on days when we have nothing to get.

Like the Fast Five keeps the show going now.

And I don't want to slam it.

No, me neither because it's important to us and it's what we, it's the foundation in which we built this business.

I just want to highlight some of our other amazing segments.

And the segment where we just do nonsense chatter is always my favorite segment, especially like after a long weekend with a guest host.

Like, I just really want to hear about them.

I want to hear their dynamic with Turdy.

Yeah.

And that was my favorite part.

Then I like saw the stories in the description.

I was like, oh, but I also don't know if that's because I'm like hate pop culture.

Yeah, totally.

You're kind of like a hater.

Yeah.

Have you been drinking a haterade?

No, but I think I'm just really desensitized and overexposed to it.

And sometimes the stories are not giving, but then every once in a while.

Scandival.

There's the story.

Of a century.

Of a century.

And that makes it all worth it.

And today.

Today, every week of watching that show,

every day of doing the fast, you know, keeping up with these people for 10 years, it makes it all worth it.

And today, while we don't have like a knockdown drag out story, we have really good stories because it was Coachella over the weekend.

There was big scandival up there.

You don't have to dread the fast vibe today.

No, and then, of course,

the drama of the weekend was last night's Netflix fiasco, which we did both watch The Love is Blind Runion.

We're going to talk about it.

But what we're going to talk about more is the Netflix of it all.

The tech.

I mean, the toast would never.

That's all I'll say.

Yeah.

Chris Rock would never.

I thought that was interesting too.

We'll talk about that as well.

Our first story is the Netflix saga of last night's never-ending torture fest.

That was their attempt at a live reunion.

We shall discuss.

And then also just like content recap at the end.

Yeah, lots of books, lots of TV was consumed by your garlies this weekend.

Yeah, so we will share.

And then I've gotten so many nice messages from everyone because I've been out for a couple shows.

With like an air of mystery around.

Air of mystery.

And I still will explain when I'm ready.

I'm not ready to talk or share yet.

I need a little more time, but I'm here and I'm...

podcast ready.

So like I still want to do the show and I'll get to it.

I just, it's today's not the day I totally just need more time um but I see all your messages and I really I appreciate everyone's patience and just prayers and everyone is so sweet and I really appreciate it thank you I appreciate it too we're so similar what do you appreciate I just appreciate everyone I'm just like in an appreciative mood are you appreciative that they're like loving turtie's family and friends you know I love family and friends you know it's like my time to shine yeah but it's so much harder than doing just like the regular toast like one being the stories and the ads girl It's just like, there's no room for Turti to like express herself, you know?

Yeah.

And it's not the same, not podcasting with you.

It's like we're so natural.

We're just like, you know, we're like Japanese joinery.

We just fit.

And I love getting to catch up with everyone.

And I'm so appreciative for everyone who came last week.

I literally had asked some people like three days' notice and everybody really like moved stuff around.

And I was really appreciative.

And it was like really great guests, which is always good for the toast, growth, reaching new audiences.

We love, we love.

But there's truly nothing like a Jackson Claude original recipe.

And that's what we're here to deliver today.

It's not delivery.

It's Jackson Claude original recipe.

Yum.

But you know what?

I kind of wish it was delivery.

Afterwards.

What are we going to have for lunch?

Oh, we're back to the.

We finally get to have this conversation together, not parallel.

I know.

What do you think?

What do you like to have for lunch right now?

Spire.

Around here, I really have two options.

I go for a warm bowl or a nice wrap.

I can't wait for a warm bowl.

I know.

And like a new place opened by our studio with warm bowl options, like right, right before you moved.

So you really haven't even gotten a chance to explore the menu no i haven't and i have an expert here you should open a restaurant of warm bowls called turdies warm bowls

turdies warm bowls i'll take you to the place after like i can show you they do because i have such a bizarre order but it's also really simple easy to memorize yeah and they know me and they love me they do they do love you yeah one woman in particular i think like the first time i ordered from her she was so shook that i didn't want any sauce i think this place is like known for their cool different like aioli dresses bowls come with sauces yeah and And she was like, no sauce.

And I said, no sauce.

And she's like, so no sauce.

And I said, yeah, like, no, no sauce.

And she was like, okay, no sauce.

I'm like, yeah, no sauce.

And then we just kind of bonded after that.

And now she's my best friend.

And that's how you know opposites attract because Ben is the king of sauces.

Ben is the king of sauces.

Actually, last night, every once in a while, we order Wolf and Lamb.

And if you don't know what that is, it is like...

probably the nicest of like two kosher steakhouses in the city.

It's extremely expensive because kosher meat is expensive.

And then on top of delivery, it's like, oh, you're getting a $10 item.

Technical delivery is $50.

So like when you order delivery, like there's always a premium.

But like when you're ordering wolf and lamb, it's insane because we order filet mignons and they're so expensive.

And then it's like, oh, $200 delivery fee.

Every once in a while we do it.

And I really wanted it on Passover, but they were closed for Passover.

So we just like kind of, we just went, we had like a crazy expensive dinner last night.

And Ben sits down at the table with our perfectly cooked filet mignons.

And he runs to the fridge and grabs like four different sauces.

And I'm like, this is literally like a $60 steak.

What the fuck do you need?

Your trash, craft, sweet baby raise on this gorgeous steak.

Like it's meant to be, not to be like, you know, like a foodie, but like, that's when people say, like, you're going to the best omakase in the world.

Like, you don't need soy sauce.

And that's where I do disagree.

I do too.

Like, Zach always says the best French fry doesn't need ketchup.

And that's why your husband is smarter than you, because I completely agree.

Oh my God, no.

I never have ketchup.

I thought you were about to like drag him.

No, I never have ketchup with a McDonald's french fry.

No, it's so wrong.

Should we have McDonald's?

Ooh.

I don't know.

I'm like so clean these days.

It hurts.

But you know what?

Part of being clean, and I feel like Courtney Kardashian is always saying this is like every now and then like eating the most vile trash.

Well, you know what?

Or we could get like warm bowls with McDonald's fries.

You know what?

That's balanced and I love that.

Yeah, yeah, because I don't want to eat like a

McPlan.

Yeah.

We've already discussed how it's like.

kind of toxic, literally.

But fries are fries.

Fries are fries.

I love it.

Should I order it?

Fries with the strise.

Should I order it now?

Or like then it won't be.

No, it won't.

No, right.

Like we'll sit here like trying not to eat.

And then like we'll get.

And then the whole studio will smell like McDonald's.

It's so good.

Back to what I'm doing.

What are we?

The good guys talking about food the holidays.

I know.

New episode of the good guys drop today.

Isn't it crazy how like the good guys are like literally becoming the biggest podcast in the world?

They had Tata Mongeau on.

Does that affect your relationship with Ben?

That's a really good question.

Two things about me is like I'm extremely like toxic, competitive, self-centered, but I also like really love Ben.

You're a supporting wife.

i really am so actually no the two things can be true like i'm actually and the thing is it's a tnn production so a win for ben is a win for me everyone's hat yeah when he gets like tanna no when he got like hillary duff and like was in people magazine and their episode literally got like millions of downloads like yeah like that was hard is there a guest that they could get that would just put you over the edge that's a good question i mean of course like taylor switch but that's not happening trust and believe um but like some unattainable that they could get yeah that would like kill me that's a good question who am i like obsessed with?

Like Casey Musgraves, Luke Combs, like they would sooner come on toast.

Like that's not, yeah, that's not attainable for them.

Yeah.

Like a Kardashian?

You're still from friends.

That wouldn't kill me, honestly.

Some of the friends characters, and this is actually something I've been wanting to talk about, have been acting so wild on social media lately.

There must be like an agency, I'll tell you in a second.

There must be like a marketing agency that not a lot of people know about.

And like new celebrities have been discovering them and and using them because they're all using the same tactics and it started with Megan Traynor and now the Jonas brothers are in on it and Courtney Cox is in on it too.

What do they do?

Make insane TikToks, really high quality, like high production value, but like very on trend, getting other TikTokers, other celebrities to the point where it's so inauthentic, but it performs so well.

It's so viral and it's having like major impact on these people's careers, music-wise or just like celebrity-wise.

I find it so weird and annoying.

Like Courtney Cox has like recently started to do that.

She's like partnering up with all these TikTokers and like it's just annoying.

Like I don't like it.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, it's like ruining TikTok.

I'm sorry.

It's ruining TikTok.

So you know what?

But you're with I'm with the government.

Did you go viral last night?

I did.

It was good stuff.

Did you go viral?

I like checked after like 30 minutes after you posted it, but I haven't checked today.

I did.

I did go viral.

I posted a TikTok and a reel that is millions and hundreds of thousands.

And you kind of like went viral within the Swifties with that TikTok of like you double bed.

And I did go viral.

It's kind of been like a viral week for me.

Did you see I DM'd you a video?

Like a Swifty account reposted that video.

Oh, and this is a family.

And I came about it organically.

See, that's been like an interesting thing is I've been making kind of like niche content.

Like I made this TikTok that went viral about Ben playing golf and it got like ripped off and put on all these golf pages.

And like, do not read the comments.

They are hysterical.

They're so mean.

For so many people.

They call me so toxic.

They're like, he needs to leave his bitch ass toxic wife.

Like, first of all, it was a joke.

No, and it's like they're in the comments, they think either you're having an affair with Elliot or Ben is having an affair with Elliot.

and it's like there's kind of like these conspiracy theories in the golf community about me and ben but that's what happens and then i made like niche swifty content like it gets put on the swifty pages so um yeah i've kind of like i'm three for three that's the price of going viral now are you going viral on the love is blind pages i am it's very exciting ben it was actually ben's idea like creatively and he was so like annoyed that like he didn't think of it himself well he did he was like but you should do it yeah and this is kind of the partnership creatively that we have right that's like you supporting good guys right

he He supports my work.

Dancing film meeting television.

But like we were so panicked that the stream would start, even though like it wasn't, we were rushing, rushing to get this done.

It was the most painful,

just

useless hour of life.

Yeah.

At first it was like fun and exciting because it was like 8.15.

And I was texting you like, is it just me?

Is it you?

And the thrill kind of wore off extremely quickly.

Yeah.

And I ended up feeling annoyed.

Yeah.

I started a book.

And then I didn't feel bad about waiting because it's like, okay, that's the perfect thing to do while you're waiting.

But then we both gave up and went towards succession.

By the time I logged into HBO Max,

the stream was up.

And then the stream started for us on Netflix, but most people couldn't watch it.

And now they've said it will be up today by 12 p.m.

Pacific time.

So three o'clock.

Like most people still haven't seen it.

Wow.

If only there was something to see.

We watched it.

We'll recap it.

And just so you know, like if you weren't able to catch it, like Godspeed.

You'll be okay, but I have thoughts.

Also, our chat was so funny last night.

You ring ring so funny.

We never do that.

We never like live.

We're always watching shit at different times.

And we, like, we save it for the toast, but I'm actually glad we have that chat.

So, in case there's anything I need to remember about how I felt, just scroll.

So, maybe we should dive in because, like, now we're talking about it.

We can't stop talking about it.

Love is violent.

We can't stop.

And we won't stop.

We need to get all of our singing going.

Yeah, there was actually not a lot of singing last week, like with the guest co-host, maybe because I felt embarrassed.

Do they sing?

Are they singers?

Actually, Remy sings, and Snatchler loves a good Snatcher song.

But I don't know, it wasn't the vibe.

Yeah.

I guess the giggly girlies aren't as like musical.

No, they're not.

It's just like a weird thing about us.

Yeah.

It's just.

It's kind of what makes us us.

We're the musical podcast, but it's not like a thing that other podcasts do.

Like, they don't just like break out into song.

And that's kind of why we're so successful.

No, no, no.

And that.

We love that about us, but that's like not a normal thing is what I'm realizing.

But

why, you know, blending when you're born song with friends?

Depends on the friend.

Truly.

Depends on the friend.

Like my friend Abe is very musical, so yes.

Maybe it's just like a family thing.

Maybe.

Well, that's what I learned with my episode with Page Disorbo, like birthday buddies is a family thing.

She's like, that's not a thing.

Oh, so like when I said we were, she and I were birthday buddies, she

had said it on the toast too.

Well, and it turns out, like,

we don't have the same birthday.

It's November 4th.

Yeah, she's just like someone who's constantly like celebrated all week on Instagram and there was confusion.

Yeah, yeah, but I like brought it up and she's like, like, I've never heard the term birthday buddy.

I'm like, wait, what?

Did you go to school?

No, I'm like, that was a school thing.

Literally my childhood.

Yeah, you had to like do a project on your birthday buddy.

You could choose any of them.

Maybe it was just our niche, like Jewish day school curriculum.

I think it should be part of, you know, the core.

Universal.

Yeah, the universal curriculum of life.

Who's your birthday buddy?

Pick any of them and do a report.

Yeah.

How do you think I know so much about Jessica Simpson?

How do you think I know so much about Sally Field the Flying Nun?

Jackie, I brought up Sally Field.

You have to watch the episode with Paige.

I know you were busy, but like we literally had this conversation.

I literally can't wait.

I said, you have the same birthday week.

And now, maybe if it was today, I would have done my paper on Lamar Odom.

Is he another birthday buddy of yours?

Kind of a blessed day.

A blessed day.

Oh, happy day.

Yeah, a couple of Scorpios.

Theo's birthday is coming up, and like I must jump off a bridge.

Yeah, I did the math recently.

Shut the fuck up.

Okay.

How do you want to celebrate it?

I'll be here for it.

Should we get all the stry guys together?

Maybe get butter, olive, like the whole crew.

Yes.

You know, if I did ever throw Theo a birthday, like I would ask the dog walkers, I don't know like butters, I don't know their parents, but I would like ask, I would print out invitations and be like, can you pass these out to the crew?

Leave them under the door.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I'm not having a birthday party.

I don't need all the smelly dogs in my house.

But like, what would Theo want to do?

Like on his best day, where does he like to go to the beach?

He would like to go to that walking path.

Oh, my God.

That's our place, me and him.

Yeah, that was before I got Bruno.

We have vacationed at this house many times that nearby has like this kind of a star.

It's like a nature path.

It's not even because it's not a path.

It's literally acres, and you just walk and walk, and there's bridges.

The pasture is like less than two miles, but it feels like it's oh my god.

It is not.

Jackie went time trying to make us walk the whole thing.

I wanted to die.

I tried to cut through the field and like literally ended up.

I made it worse.

Yeah, I made it worse.

It's not two miles.

It's 20 miles.

It is.

I used to run it every day.

Like,

pick me.

Yeah, okay.

But But that's where Theo would want to spend his birthday.

It's such a beautiful, like, maybe we go.

Maybe we go.

Let's see what the weather is.

Well, yeah, that's Theo's, like, and it's really beautiful.

There's like creeks and bridges and streams and fields and trees.

Yeah.

And benches that I loved personally.

Yeah.

That's where Theo would like to spend his birthday.

That's beautiful.

Where would Bruno spend his birthday?

In the arms of El Nolio.

Yeah, on like the world's largest heating pad.

Yes.

Right.

Yes.

Love that for him.

Bruno has a lot of interests.

Hobbies.

Yeah, he really does.

He's easy to please.

He loves adventure.

He's a man of many interests.

Yeah.

But he'd also be happy in the bed.

And the heat, as long as there's heat.

As long as there's heat.

Bruno did stay with me for like a couple of days last week.

It was joyous.

Yeah, and the boys were getting along.

The boys were getting along.

Bruno,

he actually hasn't stayed with me since he's been like an independent boy who doesn't need to sleep in the crate and who can walk around freely when there's no one home.

So this was the first time where he slept with us.

And I have to say, it was probably one of the greatest displeasures of my life.

You're wrong for that.

Bruno is the type of dog who needs to sleep in your asshole.

Like, my God, I couldn't get away from him fast enough.

And every time I would, like, push him or like, honestly, kick him, like move, right back up my ass.

I had never slept so poorly in my entire life.

It was, like I said, one of the greatest displeasures of my life.

Okay, well,

Bruno had a great time.

And that's all that matters.

Bruno felt loved.

Bruno didn't feel like he wasn't, you know, with his mama.

He didn't feel he was honestly like, who's mama?

You know, like, he wasn't really interested.

He wasn't like really like talking about you or actually probably even thinking about you.

So it was totally fine.

And I did my job as an auntie and a caretaker that he felt loved.

And I put his needs before mine, letting him sleep in the bed.

But I would be remiss, devastated, and heartbroken if I didn't just at least acknowledge how it was one of the greatest displeasures of my life.

Okay, well, I just feel like then you and Bruno are just like not compatible sleepers because he and I, he and I are sympatico.

Oh my god, I actually never wanted to like commit animal cruelty more than I did in my life.

And I wanted to kick him in the throat.

Like he was so annoying.

I'm sorry.

I did.

Because like one thing about me, like I'll do anything for the dogs, but like mess with my sleep.

Like that is just like a no-no for me.

I can't listen to this anymore.

Especially because like I got my hatch last week and I was like really wanting to like test it out.

And like Bruno, like I was up with Bruno.

Like I wasn't up with my hatch.

What do you think about hatchyo?

I'm obsessed.

Like Ben is obsessed too.

I'm loving the nighttime routines and the morning routines.

I haven't taken advantage of the nighttime routines yet.

I didn't even know it was a thing until Margo told me.

And I kept seeing this rise button.

I'm like, no, this rest button.

I'm like, what is this for?

But these like 15-minute like sound baths and lighting techniques, I'm obsessed.

I've never felt more rested, honestly.

Yeah, welcome.

Yeah.

I don't feel like I was like against the hatches.

Is it one of those things?

It's just something I turned you on to.

Oh, you discovered the hatch for sure.

And do you have a code for the Redheads?

No, it's just hatch.co.

I'm just like promoting it.

Oh, we got to get a code because like everyone was asking for one.

You know, on some websites where they're like, where'd you hear about this product?

Say the toast.

Just the redheads.

Come on.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The redheads.

New episode dropped two weeks ago.

It's good stuff.

Thanks for letting us know.

Well, if you follow me on Instagram, you knew.

I'm kidding.

You knew.

And our next book is A Snitch's Choice.

And she chose, I wonder why, a book called The Magnolia Palace.

Yeah, that's kind of like a really weird thing for her to choose.

I don't know why she would have chosen that.

The Magnolia Palace,

but I think it's historical fiction, so I'm not complaining.

That's so not counselor.

I know, that's like the power of El Nolio.

Um, okay.

Now without so much to discuss.

Now without.

Further ado.

Now.

You know what?

Why don't you crunch?

Hit it.

Yeah.

Okay, hold on.

Actually, wait, come here.

You see, it says.

It says munch on the soundboard.

Okay, so just wait.

Without further ado, did it do.

Here are the fast size stories that you need to know.

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Can't guarantee that you'll find your turdy Lou, but you will find a great coworker.

I actually, I can guarantee that you'll find your turdy Lou.

Like, I can.

You can.

Yeah.

You feel strongly about that.

Sorry, I just needed a snack on hand.

For what?

Because I get hungry.

But you're going to eat on the podcast.

If I get really hungry.

You'll be able to eat nothing.

We'll take a break.

You'll be hungry.

We'll take a break.

No, like next ad break, I could just push my make out.

Wow.

Okay.

Like.

Comes to New York and like forgets everything she knows.

No, because I was just thinking about like how hungry I am.

That's fine.

We haven't even gotten into the first story.

Yeah.

And I just feel like I get a pass.

I get a pregnancy pass.

I feel like we are like recording later.

This is actually like we're recording when we would eat because you were like busy this morning.

So when we would eat lunch.

We have missed a meal, sort of.

And that's just like not something I eat.

It's unacceptable.

It's unacceptable.

Like you have to have a lot of small meals.

Yeah.

Like I won't, you won't even know I'm eating if I decide to.

Yeah.

You'll get like daggers for me, but go for it.

Wow, judgy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like one thing about me is like I put the A-V-I-T of this show above all else.

And like you kind of wanting to eat and like mess with the audio, like that's actually a personal attack.

Okay.

But do as you please.

Do what's best for you.

Thank you.

Our first story.

Netflix is apologizing for the 75-minute Love is Blind season 4 reunion delay.

We are incredibly sorry, they say.

So, Love is Blind reunion was supposed to air live last night.

Nobody needed it to be live.

Nobody asked for it live.

But I'm assuming Netflix is trying to get into live content.

Right.

And they saw this as an opportunity.

But a live reunion is not something anybody needs.

And we'll get into the reasons why

later on.

So 8 p.m., we all sit down to watch.

The show does not come on for 75 minutes.

Now we're all on Twitter.

Netflix is posting some jokes.

They even got like so desperate as to post a picture of Irena being like, will it be worth the wait?

So at 8.05, they said, love is blind.

We will be late.

We're on at 8.15.

And you know what?

I'll be okay with that.

It actually worked better for my schedule.

No, and like, I understand this is like a big live event, whatever.

I'm, you know, I work in tech, so I understand these things happen.

And then at 8:15, nothing happened for an hour and they didn't say anything.

So everyone's wondering.

And it's like, that to me is unacceptable.

To give no sort of...

Vanessa Lachey went live and just said who the fuck is following Vanessa Lachey?

I'm not, but then I saw it, you know, through the

for you page.

Yeah, through, you know, the internet did its thing.

And she said, they're sitting there, they're not speaking, they're waiting, you haven't missed anything.

We broke the internet.

We're still here.

So are you trying to tell me that more people were trying to watch the Love is Blind reunion than were trying to watch the Chris Rock special?

I don't know.

I personally can't believe that.

I know.

And I just feel like maybe they had better systems in place for Chris Rock because that would have been so unacceptable.

Like, right?

Like, who's really the most pissed from Love is Blind?

Just like the fans and the cast members, like, what are they going to do?

Their time is over.

But if that had happened to Chris Rock, like,

yeah, it would have been really bad for everyone.

And he would have been so pissed.

So I'm I'm not saying like they don't, they allowed this to happen, but like that was not an option.

So then I guess at like 9.15, they just started to film and they were like, we need to get this filmed and then we'll put it on Netflix at some point.

But then for some people, they were able to watch what they were filming live.

And that included us.

So I think they started filming and they're like, we'll work on getting it up as we're filming.

And maybe like 15 minutes into their filming, you could start watching it live and all you had to do was rewind.

Right, which is what we did.

Which is what we did.

And it maybe, I don't know if it was because we had waited so long and there was so much hype that like only, you know, you're set up to fail with that much like excitement and hype after all this.

But I found the reunion to be positively dreadful.

I guess it just really highlighted because it wasn't edited to make things like quick and concise, it really, it really highlighted how beyond

average and mundane these people are.

Like when you think about live reunions, which my only point of reference is like the Real Houses of Miami, these are like professional reality stars.

Well, no, even still, it was their first season, and it obviously didn't go well because they never did something like that again.

But it was kind of amazing, like, it was chaos.

Yeah, but

there are a lot of things where a live format is great.

Yes.

People just like talking about their feelings.

That needs to be edited.

And especially because they found a group of people who are so long fucking winded, Marshall, Zach, Paul.

And also, it's like they're there to talk about their feelings, which always just takes longer and it's the more bushes to beat around.

Right.

And like, we like, kind of like, don't care, you know?

No, but when they first cut to like, I think it was Marshall, that like they were catching up with everyone and they said hi to Marshall and his answer was too long.

And I was like, this is why we edit.

Yeah, they, they actually really, it was so obvious how badly they needed editors because everyone was so long-winded.

But I will say, on the other hand, there were a lot of people who, without a splice of editing, came off really well and were really impressive.

I thought Chelsea was so well spoken and impressive.

She didn't stutter.

She didn't sound a like.

Every sentence meant something.

Of course, there was the like crew that was abound.

And then there were the feelings people who were talking in circles.

But I also felt like it gave a lot of people the opportunity to shine.

And if you can do well live like that, like that's really impressive.

That's very fair.

I felt like Chelsea and Kwame as a couple probably came out on top.

Yes.

They just, they were so in sync with each other.

Everything that they were saying was exactly, exactly, you know, I felt very good about them.

Yeah, and I was the type of person who was completely shocked that they said yes.

Like, I was confused that Kwame was interested in Chelsea because the whole time he seemed like he literally would rather be anywhere else than by her side.

And I guess that's what the feel, like, the feelings of a lot of the fans were.

And they addressed that head-on.

And he was just like, you literally saw a drop in the bucket of what our relationship was.

And you know what?

There's proof in the pudding.

They are still married and they seemed really happy.

Did they say that?

And I'm like, sure, but we still saw what we saw.

Like, even those moments, okay, they're not 100% of the moments that you had but like we saw them yeah and this was the first time where I felt like oh I was bamboozled and

that is not we did not see an accurate representation of their relationship I also didn't really understand why all this effort was clearly put into the reunion live they had a live studio audience they did like a bunch of stuff and why they chose to have Jackie and Josh participate via Zoom the day before.

I feel like that love triangle was probably one of the biggest dramas of the season.

Maybe they didn't want to come.

But they don't really have a choice, you know?

It's like bravo, you know, you come.

Really?

They made it seem to Irina like she had a choice and she chose to come and they were.

It was not a good showing for Irina.

Like, I don't know.

I,

you know me.

Her voice was so trembly and like she made no good points.

She just like apologized.

Some good points.

I, if anything, it was good for her because I actually felt bad for her because she like was clearly so nervous.

She also looked amazing.

She did, which is always great.

It counts for something.

But I felt like as best as she could try to explain herself without being like, listen, I did those things and I'm sorry for them.

Yeah.

There were some explanations in there that I understood.

Me too, actually.

And maybe because he was just pissing me off, I found Zach to be like hold a little bit more weight as a villain than he was.

He was a victim, but he was also giving villain energy.

And I saw it during the show and I think like the way everyone was coming for Irena and then like he just like kept going and he just showed his, you know, he showed under the hood of his mind, like when he came out and like really thought he did something.

And he was like, I feel like you came on this show to be famous, which is like, okay, doesn't everyone.

I don't feel that.

I mean, one, yes, to some degree, if you're going on reality TV, like you're comfortable with the idea of being known.

But if she really wanted to be famous, she would have made their relationship seem like something that wasn't.

She wouldn't have asked to go home before Mexico.

That in context was really important.

She wouldn't have ended the relationship as prematurely as she did because she kicked herself off the show.

Like, if fame was really that motivating for her, she would have hid her feelings, made it to the altar, and said no.

100%.

I completely agree.

And I think the context her adding that she had actually asked to go home, she knew immediately when she saw him, it wasn't the right fit

adds a lot of color too.

And I'm sure like they convinced her, you know, don't go home.

And I'm sure she convinced herself, you know what?

Maybe love can grow from this.

Like I said,

I loved him in the pods.

I didn't get that feeling when I saw him, but...

People have started off with worse and ended up together.

So I understand wanting to go to Mexico and giving it a shot.

I don't think I would have behaved in the way way that she did, but like she was clearly like very awkward, very uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable

and doesn't know how to like say these hard things that she's thinking and feeling.

So she just like becomes defensive and shuts down and rude.

Yeah.

But I just find it funny.

So how he literally was like, you know, you came on the show to be famous.

And the audience, the audience was giving Jerry Springer, oh,

shut up.

And he's like, you know, and if you really want to see the receipts, I'm not going to bring receipts, but if you want to see them, go to my Instagram, which I did, by the way.

And there was probably like 10 slides of like notes app story.

And I'm sorry, I could not read it.

It was so long and there were so many typos.

I read it.

Oh, what was the thesis was it was a really nice story about like the power of forgiveness and giving grace because he gave that to his mother

and she had been like very disappointing over like during his childhood and like in and out of I saw she struggled with addiction.

Right, but the moral of the story was that at one point he just decided like I'm I forgive you and and she got uh

sober and was able to be there for him.

And they had a few really good years and moments together that they wouldn't have had if he hadn't given that grace and forgiveness.

So give grace and give forgiveness.

That was a receipt.

Okay, that's not a receipt.

And he really was not giving like grace or forgiveness energy.

And he doesn't have to.

And he doesn't have to.

He said that.

Instead of being like, go check my Instagram, he could have been like.

Told the story.

Give grace and give, well, no, no, no, no.

Like the story would have been the whole reunion, but he could have, and he could have walked the walk in that with Irena.

Like,

what Irina did was not nice, but like

you could, it's been a year, you're happily married.

She's obviously come out on the bad side of things.

You could have given Grace and gave forgiveness.

I just want to say, like, I went to everyone's Instagrams last night just to like see what people have been posting.

And to be honest, based on the content, if there was anyone who, just based on their content, who I thought came on the show to get famous, it would be Zach.

So I just felt like he was being really hypocritical and like kind of loved that he was the victim.

And he was a victim.

Like she was wrong.

But he leaned into the victim mentality so hard.

And whenever people lean into it too hard, like they push a little too far, I start to turn.

And I felt that way a few times last night with a few different people.

For me, that was Zach.

Like he was bothering me.

It's like so clear.

He won.

He's there with his wife.

Like they look so happy.

And she, like, the crowd was like literally booing her.

And he just kept kind of like kicking a person when she was down.

And I know he has every right to because like she was really needed him, like for sure.

But he came out on top.

He has the wife.

He had the audience.

And I just felt like he was so happy.

to be the victim that he weirdly turned himself into the villain.

That's what keeps happening just in every show.

But I I also felt like Micah was leaning a little too heavily into being a victim with Paul.

You know, you were texting me that and I actually don't agree.

Because I need to look back at my notes, but

I don't know that she would have said yes, first of all.

And I like that she explained why she needed him to go first because she needed to know that if he said yes, it was like not because she said yes.

And you know what?

I was so confused when she did that.

And then I was like, maybe she didn't want to be embarrassed.

But her explanation made complete sense to me.

Yeah, just based on their every relationship is different.

And like if she's going to be married to him forever, she needs to know it's because, you know, that it was his choice.

And she probably felt like he was getting doubts.

But when I watched it, like, I didn't feel like she was going to say yes.

I just felt like she didn't want to be the villain.

Nobody wants to be the villain.

But like, at the end of the day, like.

These are your real lives and this is a real marriage.

So someone has to say no if it's not right.

And then Zach comes in and says, other people have said that like you were never talking about getting married.

And when we did see their relationship on TV, like it was not a serious relationship.

Okay, I just want to say that.

But also, we only saw what we saw.

What Zach said was so confusing because he kept changing what he said.

And what he ended ended was like, I spoke to a lot of other women whose opinion it was was that you didn't want to marry Paul.

That's what he ended up saying, which is the most vague thing.

So what the fuck?

She wasn't even friends with really anyone except Irina.

Yeah.

So it's like, what are you talking about?

And by the way, it turned out that Irina was the one who was saying that.

And they haven't spoken to Mexico.

Right.

So it's like, you really don't know anything.

I felt like Zach was, again, trying to like defend another victim and he was just turning himself into the villain.

Like I didn't, at first he said, a lot of the other women said, you said you weren't going to marry Paul.

And that's like,

and then it turns out, Irina said in Mexico, she didn't think that they would end up getting married.

The fuck does she know?

Yeah, I mean, she said that because she was in love with Paul.

Right, but also then, with like, they tried to make this Irina Paul thing, a storyline, which is not a storyline on Paul's end whatsoever.

Like, what Irina thinks and feels about him has nothing to do with him.

And so, they were trying to get, like, Paul to apologize for some flirty behavior going on.

And it's like, Micah kind of dug into that.

And it's like, girl, after the conversation with Kwame, like, I know she should just be be quiet.

Yeah, because that conversation with Kwame, we could like say they needed closure.

No, that was crazy.

That was just inappropriate, drunk, you know, touching.

Like, what could have been, did I make it?

And that's normal for humans, but just, let's just call it what it was.

Let's call it what it was.

Shady.

Yeah.

No, of course.

I did think like when Zach popped in to like kind of defend Paul, it was because like Nick and Vanessa were like non-stop asking him follow-up questions to like him saying that she wasn't nurturing.

Well, why didn't you say it?

Well, that's not really something you say.

It's like it's a, it's a trait somebody naturally has and you don't want to force them to become something that they're not.

But don't you feel like they kind of like wouldn't let up.

Yeah.

And on that point, I disagreed with the consensus that if you're breaking up with someone over like a feeling that you have that they're not this or that, I don't think you owe it to them to say that.

Because I agree.

One, you could be completely wrong.

That could just be how you see them.

You don't see Micah as nurturing, but she might be nurturing.

Like you're not the end-all-be-all-judge.

But but if you have that, like,

weird gut feeling about someone, I don't think you need to explain that to them when you're breaking up.

Like, you should have a conversation about breakups, but I don't think that's something that needs to be said to her face.

And what so she could act more maternal?

Like, he nurturing was the word.

Well, maternal nurturing, like, because he didn't see her as a mother.

Um, he didn't get that vibe from her, but he also said, like, maybe I just didn't bring that out in her, right?

Which is really fucking fair.

He was very diplomatic because what he said, like, could have been taken if you interpreted it just at face value as so fucking rude.

Like, I didn't see it.

It is really, it is rude.

It's a harsh thing to say about someone.

And in a normal relationship, you can think that and feel it.

But I don't even think you should tell someone that.

If you're breaking up with them, regardless, like you can harbor some reasons, things you think about, weird things you think about them without telling them.

But they're on a TV show, so he had to tell us.

Right.

And it was really...

Awkward.

Awkward and

mean.

Yeah.

I just, I honestly, like, for me, the loser of the reunion was Zach.

Like, shut up.

And, like, his Instagram is so thirsty.

Like, property brothers.

Like, he's obsessed.

Like, I'm telling you.

I literally hate him.

And with the singing, some person, one, yeah, somebody came on the show to get famous.

And I really don't think it was Irena.

I think it was fucking Zach.

Yeah.

Like, just look at his Instagram, okay?

With like the proselytizing about forgiveness.

Like, I can't, while acting like the least forgiving person on the planet.

Yeah.

Um, now I'll talk about Jackie, Josh, and Marshall.

Again, so annoying that we had this like turnt Zoom interview, but they do look really happy.

And I didn't realize it's actually been a full year.

i'm glad that they delayed so long so we can have some results proof and they look really happy and they're definitely better suited for one another but getting some um insight into like what went down was really interesting and like i don't know marshall has just been kind of playing this like you know victim victim but not victim like sweet angel like this whole time and he was with the bad bad jackie and i feel like we got a peek you know beneath this the the surface of like what really went down and it's like clearly here's what happened but like nobody wanted to say vanessa la shay saw her career flash in front of her eyes She called him gay.

Jackie called him gay.

That was in text messages.

It was in text messages that were leaked in a group chat.

She's like, his dick is really big, but like he never wants to fuck and he's like not aggressive at all.

And like, she wants like a guy who's going to throw her around.

Did she say G-A-Y?

Um, I think she actually used a worse word in the chat.

In the chat, some words were blurred out.

I don't know if she said exactly gay.

By the way, you can say gay, Jackie.

I'm saying, did she?

I'm not saying because it's a bad word.

I'm saying because did she say?

Did she write out gay?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I have to go look again.

She was saying like soft.

She was saying beta.

She was either alluding to gay.

And so she, they were like joking around.

And she was like, oh, well, you don't want to fuck.

Like, maybe you're gay.

And he's like, well, you have a big jaw.

Maybe you're a man.

And he made it very clear to say he didn't use a derogatory word, which I think we all know is, you know, the word.

I'm certainly not going to say it.

No, I'm not going to say it.

A letter.

T.

Got it.

So I think like she tried to make it seem like he maybe said that.

And then he was like, I did not say that.

But I just think it was a really interesting insight.

And it's like, I think what we saw with Jackie and Marshall is not at all really how it was.

I think there was like another side to Marshall.

And my God, did I despise him last night?

He could not get a straight answer.

If not, Silas, would like ask a follow-up.

He's like, well, I'm getting there.

And it's like, oh, we only have so much time, Marshall.

We're live.

When I was watching the show and Marshall and Jackie were going down, and it's like, I know Marshall, that Jackie's like wronger than Marshall, but I like her more than Marshall.

So I'm team team Jackie.

And then last night, I felt vindicated because I feel like she was just like true to herself.

She got with Marshall.

It wasn't a match.

They had some words along the way, but it wasn't completely one-sided.

No.

And then she gave Josh a shot, and that was the right fit for her.

And I believe her that she didn't cheat.

And the thing about him wanting to propose to someone else, and here's what's like, people can't even see their own hypocrisy.

Marshall's so upset because even if it wasn't cheating, even if the next day she went and spoke to Josh, it's like, wow, you could really just go and be with his mother,

like right after we break up.

And it's like, okay, so Jackie and Marshall broke up.

Then that other girl, what's her name?

Keisha, who I don't even

Keisha texted him and they started to get together because he was like, well, what else am I doing?

sort of thing.

And it's like, that's the exact mentality that Jackie had when she went with Josh.

So like, you did the exact same thing, but you can't even see yourself.

Yeah, so I don't know if it was just everyone pissing me off or it was like a really bad reunion, but I just felt like everyone who had been villainized for good reason, like I just really saw their side.

And I think the people who became victims were so, so who had like a, who were the victims of these like villains' actions were so like living for people on social media, like having sympathy for them that they leaned in so hard to the point where it's like, calm down.

It's not that big of a deal.

Yeah.

That I started seeing them as the villains.

That's how I feel overall.

And I also feel like each of the couples that are married are so strong.

Yeah.

And I really believe in them.

I couldn't even tell you who I think is the strongest.

I mean, obviously.

Tiffany and Brett.

But everyone was like up on Tiffany and Brett's level last night.

Yes.

And the way Tiffany and the people and Zach, like, I know.

They're so simpatico.

Chelsea and Kwame were just one person.

They were like a united front.

Like he defended her, he supported her.

And you love to see that.

And he really said everything

right.

And it didn't sound like a line.

Scripted, yeah.

Yeah.

No, he said everything right.

I want to apologize to Chelsea.

I want to apologize to Chelsea's family.

And I wanted to apologize to Chelsea and Kwame for like not for believing.

Yeah, we were doubters.

Non-bouncers.

Non-believers.

It was a terrible reunion, having said that.

I think, you know, Nick Lachey must have watched last season's reunion where he quite literally said four words.

And this time he got more in.

This one, it is really Vanessa's thing.

And like Vanessa is so invested.

And I feel like she's getting better and she definitely cares a lot.

And she keeps up with everything, you know, and all the text leaked and all the TikToks.

She keeps up with it all, which I feel like is the sign of like, it's a good, she cares.

But it's just, there's something about it that's not working.

She just puts a lot of herself into it.

When it's like hosting, you got to take yourself out a little bit.

There were just like too many personal moments for her.

Yeah.

But I think they feel really personal and close to the show.

Yeah.

The video of the bridesmaid and Paul.

I had seen it.

Me too.

Some of the other stuff she was talking about, that like rumors that Barbara was a hired actress.

I hadn't seen any of that.

So I was like, wow, you're really deep in it.

Most of us are just like watching the show and moving on with our lives.

Right.

But I did see Paul and the bridesmaid and it made me chuckle.

But I didn't think there was anything there.

No, I could see, well, I could see it being like a hey.

And I could also see it being like, get out of my way.

Thanks.

I also feel like Paul, just based on his energy last night, like deeply regretted participating in this experiment.

Like he kind of just came out with no wife.

Some people like really like did not like him.

They thought he was the villain in the relationship because he was the one who said no.

He like had to answer for all these personal things last night.

I just feel like he was like hating every minute of it.

Yeah, but I don't think he's a bad guy.

Like I don't don't think he deserves that.

I think he like went through the process.

I think he went into it open-eyed, open-hearted, open-minded, went through the entire thing and came to the conclusion of no.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, I thought it was so fucking weird when Marshall said like he wanted to get to the altar with Jackie, like just to

blast thirsty.

Yeah, like that's what people do.

That's what they were accusing Irena of.

Right.

Like that was so weird to me.

It's like you guys literally hate each other.

Why do you still want to stand on the altar to have that chance to make that decision in that moment?

Like there's no decision to right he's like i was robbed of that there's no decision to make it's a big fat no no for me like i like hate marshall yeah marshall and zach like hate you because they both were like living for being the victims yeah i know you really hate zach

desperately

But I'm happy for him and Bliss.

Like they actually looked really happy.

And like, did you hear her dad came around?

Did you hear that Kwame's mom came around?

To me, it's not a red flag when someone's parent is like so doubtful.

It's like this person raised you, gave up everything for you, sacrificed everything for you, and you're going to do something so crazy.

And you know what?

For Kwame and for Bliss, it worked out.

The way my favorite character on this season was Bliss's dad.

I know.

Because he was just speaking facts.

And I also felt like when he met Zach, he went into it semi-open-minded, as much as you could be, given the weirdness of the situation.

And Zach was a freak.

Yep.

Zach was a freak.

He said, you fish?

No.

Do you golf?

No.

Okay, so we don't have much in common.

And then Zach starts talking about the penal code.

Right.

Like, and he's just like flexing like something that nobody cares a shit about.

And it's like, shut up.

Yeah, no, it was a bad showing.

I think think it was more so her.

It wasn't her dad doubting the process.

It was just like, this is who you chose.

It's a fair question.

But there's obviously a lot more to Zach.

And I think Bliss's father has seen that now.

And I'm happy for them.

But I didn't find fault in

his reaction.

Me neither.

And I didn't find fault in Kwame's mom, like, not participating in the charade.

No.

Like, it sucks now that they've been married for a year and seemed to have a good marriage.

Like, she wasn't at their wedding, but, like, it's okay.

It's okay.

Cause it was, like, televised and fake television fake wedding.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I did think it was was interesting that Paul and Micah dated briefly after the show.

Yeah.

Well, because that's always the thing.

It's like, maybe we're not ready to get married, but I do love you.

And why do we have to stop?

Like Raven and SK from last season.

But like then he cheated on her.

Oh.

But then it didn't work out of natural causes.

Yeah.

I feel like this show is really good, but like I need them to like change a few things.

Like I need them to cut the episodes down.

Like I need them.

There's no reason this needed to be 14 episodes.

I feel like every episode we saw the same people having the same conversations, but like with different people, you know?

Yeah.

It was just regurgitating the same.

I'm not sure.

But then they did, and they gave us all that crap.

But then there was a conversation between Chelsea and Micah, which is right,

and it seems juicy.

And like, why isn't that in the show?

We saw so many filler conversations, but that one, which is actually substantial, because they never got to finish their conversation in Mexico.

We don't see.

Also, it's not fair that like Irina texts DM'd Bliss saying you dodged a bullet and got so much heat for it.

But the Zach said it literally said the same thing.

They saw Zach and everyone was like, oh, he's a freak.

Bliss dodged a bullet.

Right.

But only Irina got slack for that.

Yeah.

And in my opinion,

Irina dodged a bullet.

Yeah.

So that's Love and Spine season four.

Yeah.

It was a fun ride.

It was a fun ride.

It was fun to be a part of it.

It was.

I'll do it again.

Yeah, me too.

I didn't do it last season.

It wasn't a great season.

I mean, the thing is, when I was on the Netflix page and I was like scrolling through the first season, I forgot.

First season was so good.

I know.

We think about Lauren and Cameron, and they're amazing, but like all those other freaky MR couples, Jessica Mark, that girl Stacey, who was like the wellness coach, like she was like a freak.

Like there was so much good stuff.

Yeah.

It will never be as good as it was that first season.

Yeah.

How many couples got married in season three?

Can you look it up?

I honestly have no idea.

It was.

No, Nick and Danielle.

No.

Was that a different season?

Oh, okay.

That wasn't Jared and

two.

Well, there wasn't, there's none from season two because they both got divorced.

Right.

It was two marriages.

Two marriages in season three and what were their names?

And no, are they still together?

What's the success rate right now?

Because it's 50% before season with season one and two.

Yeah.

It's honestly like

it's so confusing.

I cannot remember anyone's names.

Like after the season is done airing, like I'm done with the show.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

And the people are so out of my mind forever.

Except Lauren and Cameron Hamilton like live on forever in my brain.

And Jessica and Mark.

And Amber and Barnett.

Amber Barnett, yes.

Alexa and Brennan are a barn.

Oh, Alexa and Brennan, yes, from last season.

Israeli queen.

They're married still.

She married like a farmer from the middle of nowhere, and they were so different, but like fell in love instantly.

They were like the Brett and Tiffany of last season.

Right.

Anyone else married from last season?

Nancy and Bartiste are a job.

Nancy and Bartiste.

Okay, so we're back to 50-50 odds.

But they are done.

So, no, we're 50-50 odds in the franchise before season four.

We're 50-50 odds.

Right?

No.

I don't know.

Okay, don't like with the math.

I honestly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

If it's the next story, that's brought to you by Legacy Box, perchance.

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That's a great thing to do as a gift, or if you just want to do something nice for your family, you'll like ultimately become like the favorite daughter, granddaughter, stepchild, whatever.

Auntie.

Auntie.

It's kind of like a good way to get in the good graces of everyone in the family.

And that's where you are, right?

Yeah, constantly.

Because you did it for us.

I did.

Are you ready for our next story, which is a little Coachella recap?

Yes.

Coachella 2023 weekend one was underway in Palm Springs, California this weekend.

And we've got some celebrity couple news spotting.

Yes, it was a lot of celebrities in attendance.

Yeah, and we'll talk about Coachella in general if there are things to share.

But Kendall and Bad Bunny got close at Coachella 2023.

He

was a performer.

Was a performer.

They were spotted like at the festival grounds walking, looking at each other, looking close and and semi-intimate.

You know what I mean?

Like they're dating.

And then also there was like that video of him in a golf cart where he's sitting next to a girl.

Sitting next to someone whose hair is blowing onto him, and there's a voice in the background.

And it sounds like our girl.

And it looks totally like her chocolate brown hair.

And

she was at, like, it was her.

It's her.

It was kind of rude that he, like, didn't just, like, show up.

Yeah.

No, but also.

People are acting like this is some sort of confirmation.

It's already been confirmed.

That picture of them on the horse from like last week, like, they're dating.

Yeah.

I think a lot of people are in denial because they don't like it.

Some people really are.

Sometimes some couples will like get together and it's like, or they are spotted together and are like, they're together.

Yeah.

And these two show show up literally every day doing something more you know normal and intimate than ever before and it's still in the air i just want to say a note and like nobody's here for it i'm so here for it like the the headline is kendall and bad bunny get close at coachella as romance rumors heat up no no as their romance is confirmed no as their romance is heating up and getting more serious by the passing day do i think this is like one true love like always and forever no what about i think this is a really great thing for both of them.

Yeah.

You know, he's really breaking into the American market, who's more American than the Kardashians?

She, you know, the whole family needs a boost and he's so well liked.

I love, love this.

Love.

I agree.

Here for it looks like they had a great weekend.

What's bad?

Kendall's friends, like a lot of them were at Coachella.

Kylie and Justin were there.

Justine's Kylie.

Kylie.

Kylie was there without Timothy Chalamay.

Are they really dating?

I don't know.

We reported it last week.

Like her car was spotted outside his house, even though like the only way they would know that that's literally her car is like if, you know, Christiana told them.

Like it's giving very much like PR, but um it seems like there is like a lot of proof that they are seeing each other and I just like I cannot imagine because to me like Kylie looks so mature for her age and he looks so immature for his age it almost looks predatory the relationship like he looks 14 and she looks 30.

Yeah.

It makes and she's like a mom.

Like it makes no sense.

She's so mature for her age.

It's so crazy to me because for so many girls and women, like he is the one their

crush.

And like for me, I'm, I just, I personally like, I don't have that way.

I don't have crushes on teenagers.

So, like, that's just maybe why I'm not like other girls.

Yeah.

What is his age?

Not even that young.

He just looks, you know, who he looks like?

He looks like the guy that in this week's episode of Vanderpromp Rules, Katie brings to bowling night.

She's like, I'm dating someone 25.

And I'm like, really?

Are you sure you're not dating someone 12?

Because he looks so young.

He looks like, literally, like one of my NYU orientation leaders.

He's 27.

No, he looks 17.

And he's really skinny.

He's 5'10.

Means nothing to me, like these facts, you know?

To me, he's like 4'11 and he's in the ninth grade.

Like, it's just crazy.

Yeah.

Wow.

So she was there.

That's one that I'm just going to keep disbelieving until like...

Like how people are doing with Kendall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I believe Kendall and Mr.

Bad.

And Mr.

Bunny.

And Mr.

Bad, yeah.

Another couple celebrity spotting, Sean Mendez and Camilla Cabello, were PDA-ing at Coachella.

They are not back together

according to sources, but that they remain friends with a lot of love and history between them they aren't dating dating again but they are smooching all over the festival yeah okay so maybe they're not dating again but like they're definitely heating things back up they went to coachella together that's like a planned thing i saw videos and pictures tick tocks they were like extremely like loving he was like standing behind like they're

like or maybe they're not boyfriend and girlfriend but like they're on their way i don't know this to me seems actually really normal like this is what people do they they oh you're at the same place the party is like your ex like oh maybe will they won't they it's just unfortunate that we are all seeing it i don't think they'll get back together because I think whatever reason they broke up for was obviously serious enough because they were in a serious relationship.

But like, if they're both single and they are on good terms, like, why not hook up?

This is just the weird thing about Coachella.

It's like celebrities kind of forget who they are and they just like stand in crowds of massive people, which they would never do, and make out.

Like, it's just they all act so normal.

Yeah.

Like Kendall and Bad Bunny, we have another story about Leonardo DiCaprio.

It's like you kind of, Coachella's like kind of this like

lawlessness where the rules go out the window.

But they don't because everyone's filming everything.

Right.

And it's not a safe place.

No, it's not, but they act like it is.

Yeah.

I would be here for them getting back together, but I also feel bad for Sabrina.

I know.

Even though like Sabrina and Sean Mendez, like he told us very curtly, were like never a thing or never going to be a thing.

And he never wishes for them to be a thing.

So my heart hurts for her as well, even though I think she's doing just fine.

It hurts more for me knowing like Sabrina and Sean are actually like not together, even though we know they weren't.

But this works for my heart.

Yeah, I don't mind these two.

I know a lot of people dislike them.

I think people think they're like a mismatch, but I don't mind them at all.

And honestly, like when they broke up, I was like, oh, okay, single Sean Mendez era, here for it.

But he gave us a whole bunch of nothing.

And the one thing he gave us, he took away in that interview.

No, I'm not saying Sabrina.

I hate her.

So his single era, like, gives no energy.

And so, you know what?

You might as well get back with a girl who like you've loved for

five years.

Yeah, I'm watching a video of Camilla like leaving the festival, walking around with her friends, and then she gets in Sean's car.

Yeah, like they're together.

Yeah.

I don't hate this.

Me neither.

Are you ready for our next celebrity spotting at Coachella?

Leo Nardo.

Leo Nardo.

I love Leo Nardo.

He was so good in that movie about the boat.

Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted with Bradley Cooper's ex, Irina Shake, at Coachella.

And the only reason this is shocking is because she's 37.

Like him being spotted at with a model.

Okay, whatever, like who who cares?

A model who's a mother and is 37.

I can't believe it.

That must be a misbreak.

It must be a misbreed.

But isn't he not friends with Bradley?

I don't know.

You would think they would be, but now it's.

They're just like the same person, but that doesn't mean they're friends.

Yeah.

But also, this looks like the sort of spotting where it's like they were standing next to each other.

Right.

And there's only like so many cool pockets of a party that like the cool, actually cool people can like stand in.

Like it could be a real nothing burger.

Except it's like, mm.

I don't, I don't, I don't buy it.

I am like at a place in my life where like i genuinely don't care who leonardo diCaprio is dating like to me he gave us Cami Marone and I'm so grateful did you watch Daisy Jones no oh she was just sensational like she was so and I feel like you know I love that that he did that for us because now you know she's a star and that's what she deserves but like beyond that like I don't care you know it's like to me I don't really know the difference between Irena Shake Gigi Hadid like all these girls he's been with like they're just the same to me.

Yeah,

it's not like do something different, like date someone ugly, you know.

Like, I just, if you could do something to surprise me, like, maybe then I'd start caring, but it's just regurgitated, it's the same thing, you know.

It's also crazy that he's going to Coachella, like, it's, it makes me sad.

It's giving like Kyle Cook energy, like, you're too old for this party.

Literally, how old is Leo?

That's good, 47, 50?

He's something like that.

How old is he?

48.

No,

Bradley's 48.

That's a good thing.

48.

Leo's 48.

That's insane.

Like, I do feel like at some point, you know, I'm all for ages, just a number, but like, the party is over, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Or like this party's over for you.

Go to a different party.

Yeah.

Even Vanessa Hudgins wasn't at Coachella this year.

I know she had to work.

Queen, booked and busy.

But she's the queen of Coachella.

But I did feel like this year in particular, there was a lot.

I was like shocked by how many celebrities were at Coachella.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Haley and Justin, Kendall, like, I don't know.

I just felt like it was more than usual.

Like, A-listers.

Huh.

I feel like it was pretty, maybe since it got so big and like it was just so pervasive and everything.

And then it kind of got like a little lame for a second.

I feel like now it's just like quieted off and it was cool.

Like people weren't doing the most.

The outfits from like the influencers and the celebrities were just like cool, low-key.

Cool looks, nothing crazy, nothing stupid.

I did want to talk about though how like I felt like the landscape of like brands and influencers was really interesting this year because every year past it's very much been like the Revolve show um and i think revolve had like a lot to prove this year after that whole thing that happened last year with revolve festival but i felt like revolve was like not really part of the narrative in terms of me just consuming other people's content it wasn't like the place to be i felt like guests really showed up like they had alex earl and they had all these cool i think um stas

see baby like they had a really cool house with a lot of cool girls and guests was like every other there was like a lot of other brands like doing the most and everybody stopped at revolve like like almost as like a rite of passage on the way to the festival but it didn't feel like it's felt in years past where it's like the only thing going on is revolve and revolve festival and if you're not there with revolve you're like irrelevant yeah it felt like there was a lot of other cool brands like doing cooler things yeah where a lot of people who were just like sent to coachella with to promote a certain brand like the brand didn't activate or anything there but like i'm taking this sunscreen with me into coachella and then their their whole stay and everything is just like sponsored by that brand which is cool too yeah yeah it just felt like everybody showed up like they're finally they took a note out of revolve's Revolve's book and like everybody started competing.

Yeah.

It was cool.

Yeah.

It was, I enjoyed following it this weekend.

Me too.

I saw some cute outfits.

Yeah.

A lot of big pants.

That's the trend.

Yeah, no.

And I'm personally getting ready for stagecoach.

And I know the vibes are different, but the aesthetic is overall like kind of like, it's desert-y.

It's bandana.

Like, there's some similarities.

I'm having so much trouble.

Are you going to wear big pants?

Because that's the trend.

Like, I actually bought a shirt today that was like,

I put it on.

It arrived today and I was like, oh my God, you know what I need?

Big pants.

But like, I'm not a big pants girl, you know?

And it's like, it's the desert.

Who wants to wear pants?

No.

No, I'm not a big pants girl.

No, but like, I literally need pants for this shirt or else I can't wear the shirt, you know?

There's really, you have to show me.

There has to be another way.

There's not.

What do people do before big pants?

I don't know.

I don't know.

And like, where do you stand in this time and place in history if you physically can't wear big pants?

That's a good question.

Like, I don't know what would happen if I wore big pants, honestly.

I'm not a big pants girl.

No.

Let's just put it that.

I'll leave it at that.

I feel like you have to be taller.

Yes, you have to be taller.

At baseline, you know.

Where do we go from here?

I don't know.

We're being left behind.

We definitely are.

In the pants department.

100%.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

Some tings around.

Yeah.

Northwest is making headlines because she joined Katy Perry on stage in Las Vegas as her mom, Kim, watched from the audience.

Kim took North and her friends to Katy Perry's show in Vegas and they were having the time of their lives and then Katie invited North on stage to dance and North invited her friends on stage.

Yeah, there's a lot to unpack from all the content on Katie Perry.

I didn't watch every single video, but I saw most of it.

I thought the whole thing was so cute and sweet and like not relatable because they like took a plane, but like just like taking, you know, your daughter and her friends to a concert.

There's like an elevator.

There's an element of relatability, not at the the level they went, but it was cute and it was still like kind of normal of Kim.

And then when Katie brought her on stage, I'm like, oh, that's cute.

And then I watched the footage of Katie on stage.

And like, Katie was just like doing the most for North, which was so nice.

But if I was a patron of this concert and like I paid money, I would be like, it was a long time they had her on there.

They made a TikTok.

They all danced and they brought the friends over.

It wasn't just like, everyone give it up for North.

Like it was like a long saga.

It was like several stories that were all about 60 seconds.

And if I was at the concert just to hear Katie Perry, like I would have been annoyed.

Like it was a lot.

It made me wonder if like in every concert, she brings some kids up for like a kids segment.

I don't think so.

Okay, it could be.

Like context is key.

It could be in that like in this concert, it was going to be like North and her friends because they were there.

But that was the exact thought I had when I saw it.

I was like, this is so cool for North and her friends.

But it's a lot.

But if I was at this concert, I'm like.

I'm leaving.

Yeah.

And Katie was like so cute and sweet with the girls.

And like, she's obviously like really maternal.

And like, we don't really ever see that side of her because she keeps her like mom life private.

So it was very cool and, and it was sweet.

But it was just, um, it was a really long, you know, time for her to be up on that stage.

Yeah.

And when, when Katie brought North and she was like, do you want to make a TikTok with me?

North is like, can my friends come up?

It was so sweet.

Like North is a really sweet kid.

Right.

You forget she's just like a nine-year-old girl.

Yeah.

And I think I said this last week.

I was talking to someone, one of the guests hosted about how, like, I feel like a lot of us have like this preconceived notion of North in our head that she's probably like this diva monster just because she's the oldest.

And I don't know.

That's just like how I perceive her.

And we follow Nori's black book.

Yeah, yeah.

I just perceive her as like being this spoiled brat.

And every time I see her like speak, she's so sweet and soft.

She's just a kid.

And she's like, can I bring my friends up?

Like it was so cute.

And I was shocked.

I don't know why.

Yeah.

That she's just a kid.

We have her like in our heads as

a larger than life person.

100%.

She's nine.

She's nine.

But that's pretty cool.

Also, Kim had recently taken like Saint and his friends to all over Europe to see soccer games like up close and meet all the players.

They're like big soccer fans.

And it's just like, where do you go from there?

It's down.

You know, what's like, how do you impress them after that?

That's why I think I feel like the kids would be monsters.

Right.

That's why.

But it seems like they really do appreciate it.

Yeah.

And they looked at me.

Even the videos of like Saint and the and the soccer players, like they were freaking out.

Yeah, no.

And when how long does that last for?

When Katie called, oh, is that Northwest?

Northwest screaming.

And then when she said, North, do you want to to come on stage?

It wasn't like she expected that.

She was screaming.

All the girls were like jumping up.

It was so cute.

And it was really genuine shock.

Yeah.

But I would have expected her to be like, it's about time, you know?

Yeah.

Or be like, no.

Maybe she'll get to a place where that's her reaction to these things.

Right.

Or she goes to a concert and she's like, why aren't I on stage?

And then we got a lot of behind-the-scenes footage after the show where Sia came with them and Paris Hilton too.

It was kind of like this random crew.

It's so fun.

Yeah.

And like, if you had kids and you and the collective you and

money like Kim does, like that's what you would do.

And like what, how can you curate a better time for your kids?

No, it's so true.

It was really sweet.

But like there was an element of weirdness to it where I was like, okay, move on, get on with the show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It looked like a good show, though.

Yeah, Katie's residency has been like...

Pretty successful to the point where like no one talks about it.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's not like on the level of a Dele where it's like everything she does is spoken about, but it's not a flop.

She sells really good tickets and she's kind of like the perfect candidate for a residency because she really is like in this like legend era.

Like she's not releasing new music.

She probably couldn't if she really wanted to to the point where it would be like as successful as her old music.

But she has this insane catalog of music.

Yeah.

I can't see a headline.

She was talking about like touring after her residency.

Maybe it's like a greatest hits tour.

I'd love to see her.

She's a queen and she's a very talented vocalist.

Yes, well, we know where she will be performing next because our next story, a little coronation news, it's coronation day.

And Katy Perry and Lionel Ritchie will lead King Charles Cavalier Spaniels coronation concert.

And here's who else is performing.

So on Friday, the BBC announced the roster of performers gracing the stage at the coronation concert on Sunday, May 7th.

Wow, it's coming up.

I've really been talking about it.

Oh, and I didn't talk about it with anyone last week because I just wasn't in the mood for royal news, but we can talk about it now.

That Prince Harry is going and Megan is not.

Yeah, we'll talk about it at some point in the story, I think.

The concert is one day after King Charles and Queen Camilla are crowned at Westminster Abbey.

Lionel Ritchie, Katy Perry, and Andrea Bocelli highlight the lineup, which also includes the British pop group Take That, plus UK talent Sir Bryn Turfell, Frio Ridings, and Alexis for French.

So it's not like star-studded is what you'd say.

Okay, yeah, but globally.

I would say those first three names are really good, really big.

There's no

embarrassing here.

Yes, I'm embarrassed.

And then he's having some local talent to highlight.

I mean, why not highlight some of our national treasures?

No, it's just on the back of Katy Perry, Lionel Ritchie, and Andrea Bocelli.

For like the three main headliners, if you will, for not one of them to be British, like is a little bit of a disgrace.

Like the fact, and when you think about like the biggest stars in the world, like so many of them are British.

Adele, Ellie Goulding, Harry Styles.

Like there are so many.

So the fact that none of them are either available or willing to do it like does give me pause.

I can't lie.

Yeah.

But this is not an embarrassing lineup.

But when you look really into it and you notice that none of the three major people are British, like it definitely is weird.

Yeah.

But we already like kind of crossed that bat.

Like we already have this conversation.

Like these big stars either, they really are unavailable.

We looked at their tour schedules.

Like Harry really couldn't, even if he wanted to, I think.

Adele just sended her on residency.

Yeah, Adele like...

could have done it.

Yeah.

She didn't want to.

Yeah, she didn't want to.

And so there's a few like gaping.

No, but you also have to reconcile the fact that like it's entirely possible.

Like I don't really know the landscape of like British politics, but it's entirely possible.

It's like when a certain celebrity doesn't want to perform for like one president's inauguration, like it's a political thing.

Yes.

And they might not be monarchists at their core.

Right.

So we've accepted that.

Yeah.

That the top tier of British aristocracy

talent is either.

booked and busy or anti anti.

And so now it was really just a question of who they would get.

And

I am feeling very relieved for Charles that this is not embarrassing.

These are three A, A, super A, Andrea Bocelli.

Andrea Bocelli.

Like, I think it's going to be great.

I can't wait to watch.

Yeah, I think it's very interesting that both Katy Perry and Lionel Richie are doing it together.

It makes me think they might have the same agent because like they're both on

American Idol together and now they're both doing the coronation together and they're friends.

So like it's nice.

It adds like a nice little narrative.

And I've just like recently been loving Lionel Ritchie.

I feel like he was just in the Brook Shields documentary.

I kind of am.

He's so great on American Idol.

He was just in the Brooks Shields documentary where he really came off looking so well.

And I don't know if it wasn't the point of the documentary, but she was at this point where she was talking about how like so many men in the industry like took advantage of her and sexualized her.

And then it's just Lionel Ritchie, who is there as like a friend giving testimonials, talking about how he's known her since she was so young and they've always been really close.

And it just made him look even better because all the men in the Brooks story were like turning out to be villains, like her husband and her, whatever.

So I just love Lionel.

And then, of course, he's sophia and nicole's father which just adds like another element she's getting married like any day the jewess i know she's converting you weren't here but i talked about it with ben he was very excited because she was like so excited and proud and a lot of celebrity jews are like so quiet about their faith um

she's kind of like this timeless in terms of style like she's really this like elegant classic timeless queen and i think her wedding is going to be i think it's going to be like up there with like nickel lapel it's like i think it's going to be gorgeous because like she's obviously hollywood royalty she's marrying someone who's like a business royalty you know i think it's gonna be kind of like a next level of hair yep i'm excited i am excited too are you ready for our fifth and final story oh my god no no no i'm not somebody tell page six shit my fucking iPad okay sorry what you asked me something I couldn't hear you are you ready for our fifth and final story Only if it's the fifth and final story that's brought to you by Game Time.

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Thank you, Claudia.

Yeah, welcome.

Are you ready for our story now?

Oh, you sound serious.

I was going to like, I don't know, make a joke about Squarespace.

Go, please.

But I'm not sure.

I'm I'm like, maybe like having being like a small business manbo.

I prefer a big business manbo, if I'm being honest, though.

That's why I just moved on.

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It wasn't fully formed.

That's fine.

We worked through it.

Our fifth and final story.

Raquel Levis is entering a voluntary facility for mental health counseling.

People has confirmed she is treating, seeking treatment for her mental health.

More than a month after the news of Scandoval broke, she entered a program in Arizona, a plan that her rep says she's been considering for some time.

Quote,

the rep said, quote, Raquel and her family decided before the relationship was discovered that she would enter a voluntary facility for mental health counseling.

She was scheduled to go in pre-reunion, but decided she wanted to finish her filming commitment.

Bravo and Production were aware and in support of her journey towards better mental health.

Her rep confirmed she's not there for rehab, but rather a program focused on mental health and trauma therapy.

I

am literally not surprised by this.

I think like any human being who had to deal with

what Raquel had to deal with, through her own actions, of course, would be having a mental health crisis.

I wouldn't be surprised if she was having like a full-blown fucking mental breakdown.

But I did also hear she went to Mirabal, like Canyon Ranch.

Well, the statement is a little confusing because it says that she decided that she was going before the relationship was discovered.

So she's going to mental health facility, not because of everything that's happened with Scandival.

Because I would agree with you.

When we go through this, like it is very tasty and traumatizing.

So they're saying she's always planned on going.

And it's not because of the fallout, but maybe like she, maybe she engaged with Tom in the way that she did because of critical health issues that she has.

Yeah.

It's very PR spin.

Yeah.

I don't want to doubt like what she might have been going through, what's maybe happened to her.

I'm kind of like a wait and see sort of person.

But so far, this seems like, you know, the steps that you take in your road to

a comeback.

yeah yeah i don't know i i think also just having conversations last week with paige and hannah who are both reality stars who had to deal with like their own share of like backlash backlash which was on a much smaller scale i felt like when we were talking about it they both had like a lot of sympathy for raquel like

and not in any way that i'm not t mariana but like i do find myself really feeling for raquel in a way that like i i don't have those feelings for tom like not even in the slightest like to me everything that's happening to tom is like a direct result of him just being really like a terrible human being for 10 years.

Like I don't, I don't know, I don't feel sympathetic towards him.

I do feel like like maybe it's because everyone's really coming for Raquel really hard.

A lot of the girls on the cast too, like this whole Rachel thing, they're just like really coming for Raquel more so than they're coming for Tom.

And I don't know, I just like feel, I'm still like, and I don't want this to be taken out of context because like I'm very much T.

Mariana, but like I'm human.

I'm like, I like feel bad for Raquel.

Like she obviously fucked up.

She's obviously like a person who's clearly dealing with some sort of crisis because she, you know, finds Tom Sandoval attractive.

And that's obviously the first sign of mental illness.

But I don't know.

I feel really, like, I'm starting to, like, I feel really bad for her.

I agree.

I mean, we said this, like, throughout Scandinaval, as much as, like, the tea is hot and it's a crazy thing that happened.

Like, she's a person.

Right.

And a human being is not meant to withstand this amount of criticism on this volume.

And it's gotten to such a crisis.

And it's really like, it's her personal life.

It's her professional life.

Like, she's been wiped out.

Yeah.

And it's like everyone, even like the base suitcases did you see that thing oh yeah yeah yeah like they got in on the drama it's like she can't even leave her house with a purse without the company of the purse saying we hate you here's a full suit of suitcases to Ariana it's like oh my god it's just a lot like

and I know she had an affair and I know she's wrong in this and like I get and two things can be true like I can reconcile both and I'm just like I don't know it feels like it's crossed a line honestly yeah it's it's the volume is is really crazy but and so I would understand if she was going away to take time from all of this and just like focus on herself.

But that's not what they said.

They're saying it's regard, irregardless of scandival, she was going to a facility.

No, and I had read online that the facility, which they said was in Arizona, is Miraval, which is not like a mental health facility.

It's like a spa.

Time off is time off.

I agree.

I agree.

But like, I do feel like if that's the case, then that statement is like intentionally misleading.

And I think the statement is intentionally misleading.

I think a lot of it is

spin and PR and as I said, like the things that you do in order to come back from something.

But I also think she's really going through something.

So I think it should be true that mental health counseling would be good for her image and good for her mental health.

Right, right.

So true.

I just honestly,

like, I'm just, I honestly, like now I'm at the point where everything that's coming out is like giving me the ick.

It's not like, yeah, yeah.

Stuff against Tom, I'm still, yeah, yeah.

But the Raquel stuff, I don't know.

I just feel like, I know this sounds crazy.

I just feel like

she had an affair with Tom against her will.

Like, I know that sounds crazy.

I feel like she's not a person who can, like, really control her decisions.

I know, I just, I'm seeing it.

Well, her original statement said that she's like addicted to love and attention.

And, like, maybe she was clearly at a low point in her life this season and like drinking and just feeling so lonely.

And she's susceptible, but she is responsible for actions.

Of course, but I also think like people can like do bad things and still be with

reason.

You know, Irena being mean to Zach.

Right.

And okay, okay, so you did it.

Right.

Now what?

Now what?

We don't have to, you know, hang you, put your head on a spike.

I know, I know.

And it gets to the point where it's like, okay, it's a little too much now.

Yeah.

And Ariana's living her life.

Like, she's out at Coachella.

She was spotted making out with this hot guy.

Like, good, good.

And I'm not saying that she's not the victim.

She 100% is.

But, like, I do think it's gone to like a little bit of a crazy place.

Yeah, I think so too.

And I just, I, I just think

everything is fluid, you know?

Okay.

So it's done.

So it's it.

What?

Now?

Yeah.

Like it doesn't mean, and I also think the people who like take all this stuff like

off the internet, off the show, do things in real life, do things in Instagram comments.

It's like

there's no need for that.

Yeah.

You know, like we could talk, like it's gossip and it's entertainment and they're on the show and it's all fodder.

And so we're like a living for that.

But I don't go comment on Markel's Instagram.

No, no, no, no, no.

You know, I don't show up at Tom Tom's.

No, no, no, no.

I mean Schwartz and Sandy's.

Or Tom Tom.

Or either of them.

Right.

You know, I just, I move on.

Right, right.

And so I think people like need to have, be able to separate that.

This isn't your life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, those are the fast five.

Do you want to talk about succession?

I didn't watch succession, but I did want to do like a little content recap of all sorts of mediums.

Yeah.

If that's okay, because I did a lot of reading.

I finally read that little mini, Jessica Simpson.

Oh, yeah.

She released like an addendum.

Which, by the the way, everyone should read because it's 28 pages and it counts towards your good reads goal.

And it was so cute.

I read it in 30 minutes because it's 28 pages.

And it was just like this.

I don't know why this was written, but it was fun to go back to her.

Is it fictional or it's just like a story about her life?

It's one more like story about her life.

It's not fictional, but it's about like a movie star who was unnamed.

But I remember like reading rumors that it was Mark Wahlberg.

Oh, okay.

But I need to now go and cross-reference everything.

And she did give a lot of clues.

Like, I feel like someone could figure it out.

Yeah, yeah.

I feel like not enough people cared that's a thing yeah or they just settled or maybe I just don't know where to look right you know because like a mag people magazine isn't gonna be like that's this person that's slanderous because he's like cheating on someone um and it was really cute and I love our girl it was fun to go back into the world of open book for 30 minutes such a good book and then I read Paris Hilton's memoir oh yeah Paris the memoir and it was so good and I read it in like two days and I just like kept wanting to keep reading it um it was really well written while also being so true to Paris.

I didn't realize her having like ADHD is such, it's like one of the big themes of the book and something that like runs through it.

And like the way that, and she wasn't diagnosed until she was in her 20s.

So like in her childhood, it's like she was constantly acting out, constantly seeking adrenaline, wouldn't sit still, couldn't focus.

And so she like found all these different avenues to like channel her energy, which were oftentimes like the wrong places

for a 15-year-old to go to the club, but she just loved the lights and the music and like that her brain is like, it's a dated stimulation.

And so that was like a really big theme.

But I also feel like in reading someone's book, and this in particular, like I really understand her and like why she is always DJing.

Like, and you would think, like, someone doesn't want to be in the clubs forever, but like the way that the music is, like, it, it, it, it, like, speaks to her brain.

And it's not something I feel like oftentimes when we talk about celebrities, we try to like get inside their head and be like, well, maybe she's the type of person.

And that's why I like reading celebrity memoirs because now, like, I get it.

Yeah.

So it was a really great perspective on Paris.

It was a lot about the like provo, right?

EGS schools that she had went to.

If I hadn't seen her documentary,

I would have been like floored by this book.

There are a lot more details in the book than there were in the documentary, but I could feel what was coming

because I had context.

And it was really, really good.

What's like a big bombshell?

Or like, did she mention other celebrities?

Oh, yeah, tons.

She talks about Britney a lot.

They're really, they're real friends.

Oh, nice.

She like talked about the moment in the car with like Britney and Lindsay, like how they all wound up sitting in like in the front seats together and it was like so not

meant to be iconic.

Yeah, like and Lindsay like was shouldn't have been getting in the car.

She didn't fit.

It was a two-seater.

But how because sometimes she would like go down a rabbit hole of like something dark and she'd be like, my brain doesn't want to go here.

Let me think about something good.

And she'd like flip through stories and she'd then start telling like a random, like the book really operated in the same way that her brain does.

A lot of run-on sentences, which she said, like, that's how I think and that's how I talk.

And it took a second to get used to.

Yeah.

But then like whoever she worked with on writing, because I'm sure like she had helped, they really captured her spirit.

That's the thing.

She's so spirited.

I think a lot of celebrity memoirs and the best celebrity memoirs, it's everyone works with a writer.

That doesn't take away from the validity of it, whether it's like a ghostwriter or it's on, you know, written with.

But when you can really hear the person's voice reading it to you, that's, in my opinion, like a successful celebrity memoir.

That's honestly why I did not like Mariah Carey's.

Like it was so sophisticated and dense.

And this is not how that pitch talks.

Like we heard her talk.

She's hilarious.

no, it was very dense.

It was so not like Mariah was reading it to me.

And like, Jessica Simpson, I heard in Andy Collins' books, it's so Andy.

Like, when you can hear their voice come through, I love that.

Yes, agreed.

Mariah's book was good, though, because it was an amazing story.

Yes.

But the writing kind of is not what you would expect.

You didn't sound like her.

I gave the book five stars and met all memoir criteria and celebrity memoir criteria from me.

There was just like interesting factoids and nuggets in there, you know,

but nothing like so

crazy that I had never heard a lick of.

But I felt like I understood her childhood better because it felt like whenever she talks about her childhood, it's like, did they live in New York or they lived in LA?

How is she friends with Nicole and King?

But they lived at the Waldorf.

And all the jumming around is like thoroughly explained.

And then she, and I really.

And is their connection to the Hilton Hotel franchise explained?

Yeah.

Her great-grandfather is Conrad Hilton, who started Hilton Hotel.

But they don't own it.

No, uh,

they're not still involved, but that's like not what her dad does, right?

Right.

He's like a real estate type.

Yeah, but she said, like, the most I will ever benefit from the Hilton name, considering Conrad donated most of his fortune to charity, which like was known.

Um, she said, the most I benefit from the name is that I'm now in Hilton commercials.

Right, so now it looks like she's actually like a founder of the company because she works every time she goes on, her honeymoon was sponsored by Hilton, and it's very smart of Hilton to you know, capitalize on literally somebody with the last name, but it makes it confusing.

Yeah, but she like talks about a lot of the stories behind the iconic moments, like the picture with Dave LaChapelle in her grandparents' house giving the finger.

Like,

how all of that came to be.

And

then you go and Google the picture, and it's like, wow, it's all right there.

It's the best type of books, but like you end up Google.

Sometimes she'll be like, Google this.

Oh, I love you.

She was like, I love jumping over fences.

I've been doing it at my grandparents' house since I was little.

Like, I'll do it to get out of any situation.

She was like, Google Daily Mail 2007, like jumping out.

Oh, by the way, I love that.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you make me kind of want to read it.

You should read it.

I feel like it's a good beach read.

Yeah.

Maybe, like, if somebody could take me to a beach, I'll go.

But there was like a lot of traumatic experiences.

Yeah.

So a trigger warning.

I don't want to give too much away.

But she's just a great, wonderful woman, powerful woman.

Good.

I read two, nothing crazy.

I'm reading One of Us is Dead.

Have you heard of it?

No.

Just like a...

like rich women in Atlanta.

And I guess one of them is dead.

I don't know who yet, and I'm still 50% in.

Whoa.

Yeah, I know.

It's like, you know, rich politics, buckhead.

It's good.

I started a new book last night.

I think I'm only 6% in, but the first 6%, it's giving Luckiest Girl Alive.

It's giving Ani.

Oh, what's it called?

It's called The Social Climber.

Oh, was it about me?

I don't know what happens in the book, but it's like, you know, a very ambitious, cutthroat,

almost

I will.

But so far, I'm like, the tone of it is reminding me of Ani.

And then I read this book by Abby Jimenez called Yours Truly, which is the sequel.

It's like a really good book that I liked called Part of Your World.

And I'm here to tell you, like, please don't read it.

It was like really, truly horrible.

Great.

Yeah.

And then I read a book that I don't remember the name.

I think it's

been really good.

You must remember this.

I don't know how it ended up on my want to read, but I was like, I could go for, you know, a nameless thriller.

And

not for me.

And not for me.

Oh, I watched the first three episodes of the final season of Mazel.

It's pretty good.

I like, I don't know why I watch it.

I just like it.

And nobody watches it.

And it's crazy how it was literally the show with the most fanfare of all time.

Like, swept every award show for two years in a row.

And I think people literally forget it that it's still on.

But it's the final season and it's pretty good.

And I watch.

I watch the first five out of six episodes of Belgravia, which is Julian Fellows of Downtown Abbey.

Oh.

And it's so good so far, but it's only six episodes and I don't think there's a second season.

So like.

Why waste your time?

No, no.

Like, I'm sad.

Yeah.

But no, I'm glad to have had my time with Belgravia.

Do we ever get a second season of Gilded Age?

No, but it's coming.

Oh, okay.

So that's the TV recap.

That's the content recap.

And that's our show, correct?

That's our show.

I feel good.

I feel like we got it all out.

Thank you guys so much for that.

That's what we needed to say.

It's been said.

It's been said.

And that's really all you can hope for at the end of a podcast.

Yeah.

And at the end of

how long?

An hour and 30 minutes.

Oh, sure.

So the car is about to run out.

Perfect timing.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of Millennium Morning Show, where we delivered the Fast First Stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have an amazing Monday, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love Tuesday.

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Bye.

Bye.