TV Recap Sandwich: Monday, April 10th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Monday, which should be unbelievably disgusting, but it's not because Jax returns to the podcast.

Today's audio-only, Jax Extravaganza, is here.

Hey, Turdy Lou.

Hey, Jax.

How are you, Dern?

I'm good.

Thank you for holding it down for me last week.

It's a pleasure.

You will be also holding some things down this week.

I know you have your schedule ready to go and you're really excited about it.

I can't wait to post, like back to the maternity days, you know?

Oh, yeah.

So I won't be on for the remainder of this week, but I wanted to podcast today because I feel up to podcasting.

And I've been going through some tings, some personal things things that I'm not quite ready to share yet with everyone.

I will eventually, but I did want to still do an episode and also like address that my absence, but I'm just not ready to talk about some stuff.

But I will.

And you guys, you know where to find me.

So I won't be podcasting all week because I know Turdy wants to do video.

Yeah, you know me in my video.

Yeah, she's desperate

to be in front of the camera.

The IT department does not fuck around at toast.

No, it does not.

So Claudia is going to be guesting, you know, making the most, thirsting, you know, for the podcast, which we love.

And I love to be a toaster.

But I did have the bandwidth to podcast today and I really wanted to.

And there's so much going on.

So it needed to be original recipe.

Listen, Jax, you take your time, emotionally, physically.

You take your time and just know Turdy's got you.

Thanks, Turdy Lua.

So we're just going to do a regular episode today.

Like, thank God Jax is back.

So much is going on.

Taylor, Joe, Olivia, Christian, the Dalai Lama.

Yeah.

The Dalai Lama didn't make it into the Fast Five.

Oh, shit.

Because you wanted me to choose this turret story about the movie you saw yesterday?

Yes, I have a lot of thoughts.

Okay.

But we should talk about the Dalai Lama because he's kind of canceled.

Yeah, he issued an apology.

Welcome to the club.

Which is like a crazy thing.

But then, like, when you see what he's apologizing for, it's like, oh.

Maybe you should apologize.

A little yikes.

Yeah, he was like asking a kid to suck on his tongue.

I don't know.

Like, I can't.

I don't know.

Even the Dalai Lama is not sacred.

I I don't know all the details, so I'm not going to comment on it.

But like, you just see the video, and it seems like enough.

Yeah, yeah.

So your official comment is no comment.

My official comment is, I'm confused.

And I don't, like, I don't know what's going on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I understand.

Plus, I'm not familiar with the Dali himself.

And his teachings, and maybe, like, tongue sucking is a big part of his ethos.

And

it's true.

To like judge other cultures.

No, for real.

It It could be something like that.

Like, you just

for sure.

Moving on.

Actually, my only real, like,

I know it's going to sound so dumb.

Like, I don't really know what the Dalai Lama does.

Like, I know he's like a healer and like a spiritual leader.

And I, what I do know about him, I know from the Nexiam documentary because he actually visited Nexiam.

It was like Keith Ranieri, the leader.

Yeah, it was like his biggest goal to get the Dalai Lama.

And he worked all of his celebrity connections and he got the Dalai Lama.

The Dalai Lama came to Albany, I think.

And it was kind of like the craziest part of the Nexiam documentary.

Like, it was bizarre.

There's always like a weird celebrity.

Yeah, like the We Work LaRowe one.

Remember, they had Katy Perry.

Did they?

Oh, she performed at their concert.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, the We Work one, they had like a Gwyneth Peltrow and Ashton Kutcher cameo for some weird.

I think the wife is Gwyneth's cousin.

Cousin.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've been watching Gwyneth on Shark Tank a little bit.

I watched, well, we watched that one episode together.

Yeah.

Was there the diapers?

Yeah.

What were they called?

Kudos?

Kudos diapers.

They're good.

My overall review was good.

Don't take your kids swimming in them because it exploded.

Like there was like, I didn't even know what's like a disintegrated diaper.

No, it's like beads.

Ew.

Yeah, it just got like too saturated.

But you should use swim diapers anyway if you're swimming, whatever.

Overall.

And I would size up in them.

That's all I would say.

But the material is good.

There was another episode with Gwen.

There was another episode with Gwen.

Yeah, we're like on a nickname basis, man.

And she invested in an interesting product.

Was it the ashes?

No.

Oh, I saw something about like a company that

helps deliver your ashes in a more humane way because usually they just arrive in like a clear trash bag.

That wasn't from our deer toasters.

No, I know.

I was thinking about deer toasters.

No, it's similar-ish.

It's a company that freeze-dries your breast milk.

So usually breast milk in the freezer lasts like from six months to a year and it starts losing nutritional value after three months.

But you can send it to this company.

They'll freeze dry it and then it becomes like this powder.

And you can use it for up to three years, like putting it with water in a bottle or even like sprinkling it like nutritional yeast over your toddler's food and they get like the benefits of breast milk for years to come.

Oh, that's interesting.

It was interesting.

It's very complex.

Yeah.

I don't think it's gonna be the next big thing.

I don't.

Who do you think is the most successful

guest shark in terms of investments they made on Shark Tank not like famous before?

Probably turdy Lou Freebush.

Yeah, I loved her episodes.

I wish we would bring her back.

Yeah, she was like really polarizing polarizing, though.

Yeah, no, she had like a really kind of smart business acumen.

Yeah, she did.

Speaking of TV recap, we have a lot to recap today.

We have so much to recap because you are caught up, and I've been watching Love is Blind.

Oh, my God.

I know it's like taking the world by storm, so I'm wanted to watch it because it seemed like an actually good season, and it was good until a point.

My God, they drag everything out, and we watch the same people have the same conversations.

Just one time they're doing wedding dress shopping and one time they're doing a boudoir photo shoot.

No, and also it's like ordinary people are just not that interesting.

And I don't want to hear you guys have a conversation about ranking your favorite fruits.

Like that's not compelling to me.

And I know she's polarizing, but like where's Irena?

I know.

She disappeared.

Well, she's irrelevant now to the show.

But there are like, there are people who...

aren't in relationships who are invited to like the cast parties and stuff because they're still a part of like the plot like that guy josh and you know irina has beef with micah she likes paul and then she has an ex she's actually like really tangled in the web.

Yeah, like production should be inviting her around.

Yeah, just to start stuff.

No, I thought the season was going to be good.

Like the couples that emerged were good.

But then we go into this weird holding period where it's like, I have no idea what these people actually think and feel if they really do plan on getting married or now they're acting for us just to get to the wedding just to make a big speech about how I'm choosing me.

Yeah, well, okay.

So that's the thing with Love is Blind and why it was so great the first time is that nobody knew it was going to be on Netflix.

People really just were like doing it for an experiment, not to get famous.

And like the show didn't have this cult following.

So it was just people who were like actually really down to try something new.

And they also, they concentrated in the Atlanta area.

And I just feel like people from Atlanta are just like, I don't know, like funny and like worldly.

And it was just good.

This Seattle.

We're definitely getting a lot of Seattle.

Yeah, yeah, no.

And a lot of Seattle energy.

This is so not like a

knock on Seattle.

It's a beautiful, very toasty city.

But like, there's definitely like a culture there where everyone's like a little weird and granola-y.

You know, like the conversations that Paul and Zach

wouldn't happen in any other city.

No, so it's just like, I only feel like, and this is the longest season.

I couldn't believe that I was watching episode 12 and weren't even at a wedding yet.

Like, so it's just a lot of content for like a group of people that I just don't think are like that interesting, especially once they go home and they're all working.

Like, it's always interesting in the pods, and then on vacation, like they're having sex for the first time.

Now, at home, like, it's just

sad.

I do agree.

And

who

from the season were people saying that you look like oh shut up i wish why did you bring that up because i'm trying i remember you showed me a video of her yeah but i was it irina because she was apologizing for being insensitive yeah it was irina and they think that you look like irina yeah they think i look like irina when actually the only thing me and irina have in common is we both apologize for being insensitive no like i don't i don't think you look like irina honestly like they're I'm not even gonna say it.

There's someone else that I thought that maybe people were saying that you looked like Amber?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, just because she's chubby and brunette, and that's like my whole thing.

Which is brunette.

No, like you're like not really chubby anymore.

You're going to have to like shed this.

I was just talking to, I think it was Remy about that.

Like I made a joke.

My whole sense of humor, my whole sense of self is about like being fat.

And my whole sense of humor, I just, I don't know what I'm going to do.

You guys are going to have to deal with it like for a little bit longer until I can shed it.

No, we will, but can I keep you in check?

No, no.

No.

Okay, because I'm not going to be able to do that.

No, no, no, let me just say when you're coming for me accusing me of only saying something because you're chubby.

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay.

But I also defend myself.

I feel like it's so important to understand how like being chubby and being fat is a state of mind.

Of course, yes, it's a physical being, quite literally, its definition.

But when you've spent so much of your life being overweight, it's who you are on the inside of the body.

No, I

do understand that.

And that's why I tend to gravitate more towards people who are fat or who have struggled with their weight because it's just, it's a personality trait.

Yeah.

And I honestly, I don't trust people who have never struggled with their weight.

no what is eat what do you think about what do you do like it's so you wake up in the morning then what and like so you just eat when you're hungry and you stop when you're not and when you're ordering from a menu it's just like whatever you're in the mood for yeah no i i i really can't relate to that sort of toxic mindset no me neither so thus proving my point that weight is it's just ironic because weight is literally a physical thing but it's so mental it's so emotional yeah no that part i do understand like i feel like i'm in that same boat where but I'm just saying, like, if you're gonna accuse me of like

fat phobia,

I'm gonna come back swinging.

Yeah, no, I mean, you're definitely fat phobic,

but not in this particular instance.

So, okay, I'll let you have this one.

It's a case-by-case situation.

So, wait, so back to Love is Blind, and we're gonna do a full TV recap at the end with succession, but I just want to talk about Love is Blind now because it consumed my whole thing.

Is this gonna be the TV recap of it?

Yes, this is the recap of Love is Blind.

Okay, so there'll be, it's like today's episode is a sandwich, a a TV recap sandwich.

And that's our title, obviously.

Okay, great.

I love when we just check things off our list.

Someone write it down.

So in terms of the couples that we currently have, let's go through who you think is going to make it, who you think is cute.

Of course, there's always one couple.

Shoe-in.

Shoe-in.

It was, you know.

Who was it the first?

Oh, Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton.

It is obviously Brett and Tiffany.

They're so well matched.

I think she thought she was going to have a really hard time because she was one of the older girls.

But being older on the show sets you up for more success.

You know thyself.

You're not immature like Irina.

You've probably seen some things to the point where whatever that person looks like, like you know that it's so insignificant.

And you're not immature to be like so fixated on looks.

Yeah.

Thankfully, he's also extremely handsome.

And she's very pretty.

And she's very pretty.

And they're very suited for one another.

And emotionally, psychologically, I know.

And also on a physical level, like they are a match.

Yeah.

And I also liked, when I found out that they hadn't had sex and a lot of the other couples stayed in Mexico, I was like, oh my god, wait, trouble in paradise.

But she was on her period.

Like, I like that she shared that.

Yeah.

It was.

And then they did have sex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think they're definitely, they're not even a question for me.

No, they're not even a question for me.

He reminds me so much of Zach.

Your husband?

Yeah.

Not his personality, but when he was showing her his apartment and all of his knickknacks and his sneakers and how he has the paper towel holder and it's like a magnet.

Like I was literally having flashbacks to seeing Zach's apartment for the first time.

Jackie, I totally forgot how I thought the same thing because he's obviously like a guy who likes like gadgets and gizmos aplenty.

He's like who's its and what's its galore.

He's just like a techie guy with the VR thing and you know his alarm clock is like definitely really weird.

Like that's so your husband.

He like loves a gadget.

And like Zach, we've been watching together.

He thinks Brett is sick.

Like

when I said like this is literally you, he's like, that is a compliment.

No, 100%.

And he's like financially stable.

I did think like,

what I really liked about the first season of Love is Blind is they went really deep on people's financials because it's so important.

Well, Samber and Barnett.

Yeah, but we got like actual figures.

They're being a little bit more vague this time, but I think there is like a discrepancy between how Tiffany lives and how Brett lives.

And I wish they would just like dive in a little deep because she just appears like salty, like bougie Brett, bougie Brett.

Yeah, but I feel like in terms of how much money they make, they're probably on a similar playing field.

Like it's just about a philosophy of how you spend your money.

Yeah, but it's also like she had a roommate and he didn't, you know?

Like, so there, I feel like there actually is like an imbalance.

Okay.

That's which is fine.

Like it's never gonna

apples to apples.

And he said like he'll pay 70, 60, 40.

Suppose.

80, 20.

That's King King.

Next couple who.

And by the way, if they don't get married, like I'm done with this show because then I'm just watching fraudulence.

I agree.

I agree.

The next couple, and I know you didn't finish, but we got to the wedding of Chelsea and Kwame.

So I didn't watch the last three episodes.

Please spoil them.

I don't care.

When I realized last night that I wasn't caught up and that I had three more, like I just wanted to cry.

Like I've been powering through and it's so bad right now.

No, it's a major lull.

Like it's just so repetitive.

So we got to Chelsea and Kwame's wedding.

Chelsea said yes.

and now we're waiting for Kwame.

They did like a cliffhanger.

I do not think he's going to say yes, but there's one thing that's bothering me about it.

Because to me, Kwame is so here, like, for the show.

Like, I just get that vibe from him.

He doesn't want to move.

He's very settled in his life.

And also, this moving question is not supposed to be an issue on Love is Blind.

Like, you go to a certain city.

Yes.

And I understand that Portland and Seattle are close to each other, but there's a reason why they go to like a city so that this isn't an issue.

So that they avoid it.

Yeah, because it's hard to make your, like, to uproot your life.

So, um, the only thing that's like making me question Kwame like maybe saying yes, I don't know if you've noticed Chelsea's ring.

No, it's huge.

And all the other girls like have pretty much the same ring.

It's like a very generic dating show, like Neil Lane vibe.

Um, and I read somewhere that production, of course, pays for the rings, but the guys can choose to pay for like an upgrade themselves.

And her ring appears to be so big,

making me think like Kwame was like

certain.

Well, when he proposed, he was certain.

He only became uncertain, like, you know, over the last few weeks and when he saw Micah.

Like, I guess.

And maybe it's Moissonite.

Maybe it's Moissonite.

That's true.

But it's still like you'd have to pay for that.

Like, it just, it's, it's, it's interesting to me.

That is interesting.

Yeah, just a little fun fact that I that you observed.

I was just like nitpicking because at the bachelorette party, she like showed her ring to her friends because she was like wasted.

And I was like, oh my God, none of the other girls' rings look like that.

Yeah, I think that they are a really good match, but I just don't know if Kwame's look like wants to be married.

And when they were talking about having kids and how overwhelming that was, they were talking about going to Cabo and laying out.

I'm like, you shouldn't be worrying about that.

Like, right now, it looks like you're looking for an excuse.

An issue, even though, like, these are just people who are a little bit older.

So, you do have to actually think about that.

Yeah, but it's like that should excite you if you are older and that's what you want.

And that's why you came on this fucking show.

You know, I'm telling you, I think he came on the show for fun.

He gives me like kind of Bartise energy.

Like, I didn't watch that season.

Well, you didn't miss anything, but I don't, I'm gonna, um, if I, if we're guessing, I would be shocked if they got married because like it seems like they

like each other.

They're having fun, but it's a little too serious to like actually get married between them.

I think she's obsessed with him and he like is so annoyed by her.

That's my vibe.

Yeah.

People were saying like, I saw people's stories like ruining it for me saying like that Kwame is like not that into Chelsea.

I haven't gotten there yet.

Like I feel like he's actually been, they've been having a good time, but I could see him getting annoyed by her.

I could, i also i do like how he stays home with the dog all day i know it's like kind of an ideal setup yeah um okay next couple let's go to micah and paul i like cannot get a read on them and i know micah was like very close to becoming um a major villain just because of like her friendship with irene and she like was being like a little bit of a bitch in the pods but yeah and yeah she like subverted everyone like her and kwame like should have been together and then her and paul like just made this pact and yeah and then she was like acting like a heartlet like oh in mexico in mexico when she was flirting up a storm with kwame she was they were blackout like it was wrong it was wrong but she saved herself like her break from irina and then her um actually like i think her and paul are cute i think her and paul are cute but i can't get a read on them and i do feel like it could be a big no yeah and she's just going through the motions i also don't know if like people who are so different can actually be like a match he's so like even when they were talking about his apartment like he's so granola he's like a lot of the girls i dated like garden and wear overalls and like wear granoli and she's like very like glamour when you saw her friends looks like girls like we would know you know?

Yeah, just like very kind of

different for sure.

One, opposites attract.

Yeah, two, she is his mother.

Oh my god, she is his mother.

I thought that was the craziest scene.

Yeah, and so maybe like, you know, they say like boys like marry their mom.

So maybe like subconsciously, that's what he's been looking for.

Yeah.

But I could see, I could see her saying no to him because like she just is not that into him.

I could also see him saying no to her because he just doesn't seem into anything.

He's just like mute.

Yeah.

And monotone.

But I thought that scene with the friends was really crazy and the friends were, the friend was wrong.

Yeah, the friend was being crazy.

The friend was blackout and the friend also just like wanted to like start stuff on TV.

Like I didn't think, I didn't have, put any substance or weight into what her thoughts were at the time.

It was like causing an issue between Micah and Paul and I thought Micah handled it poorly because the friend like...

Paul didn't do anything other than just be boring with what he was saying.

And the friend calls him out for being long-winded.

Like that's fucking rude.

She was so rude.

We just met.

She was so rude.

Micah should have defended her man and that was like a bad look for everyone, except for Paul.

Yeah, but now, like, Paul's stewing somewhere.

Paul's stewing in the corner with his beer.

I don't think they'll get married.

Me neither.

I just don't see it as like a true, like, love match.

Yeah, I agree.

Um, then we have Zach, especially when they're both, like, you know, thinking about the person they left behind.

Except then, when Paul saw Amber, he had the perfect reaction, which was putting it to bed.

Yeah.

But

no, I know.

It's just like

what?

Nothing.

Say it.

Like, I think it's easy to put that former connection to bed when, like, physically you're more attracted to the person that you chose.

Oh, yeah.

Like, at that point, like, the superficial elements take over.

Yeah.

Because you're out of the pods and like you're out of that.

So emotionally, you already chose this number one person.

But if the other person then physically would be more your type, then you're in a pickle.

Like, I feel like that's where Micah is with Kwan Mi and Paul.

Yeah, yeah, because they're really equally cute.

Right, but Paul doesn't feel that way.

And also, it's so crazy how it's so much about type because I would say all these people, for the most part, are in equal levels.

Their attractiveness.

Yes, with the exception, I think of Paul, who's probably the hottest.

That's so crazy that you think that because I don't really think that.

And also, like, of the girls, well, I think the girls are all really attractive, but it's just about type.

Like, I think Jackie is so stunning.

Me too.

But I think anyone who matched with her, like, would have been so.

She's thrilled.

She's literally,

she's not well.

Okay, we'll talk about her because I also didn't see her, um, her crumbling.

Okay, well, let's talk about her and Marshall then.

Wait, wait, wait.

But I was just saying something about the attractiveness.

The plot twist of the entire show

was

the

reveal between Zach and Irina.

Yeah.

And not to be rude, but I really was just like thinking when Zach saw Irina, like,

that he might not be obsessed.

And the fact that it was the complete opposite.

No, like, I'm.

That he wasn't cute enough for her.

And then I started looking at him differently because she was like saying all this mean stuff about him, that he's a cartoon.

I, when he was in the pods, like, I thought he was totally fine.

Okay, so I would say like physically, just like physical attributes, he's definitely a good-looking guy, but it's his manner, it's his mannerisms, it's the way he talks, the way he stares.

And like, honestly, a lot of the stuff that Irena was saying, which was so rude, wasn't wrong.

Like, he does have like serial killer vibes.

And when she said cartoon, and I know everyone is like, cartoon, cartoon.

I actually think she misspoke because she, then she kept repeating herself and she kept saying fictional character, being like, oh, you remind me of someone from a movie.

And he is a property brother.

Like, that's what she was thinking at the time.

So I don't think that that was her intention, but it definitely came out poorly.

But yes, I know what you're saying.

Like on a physical level, like out of the two of them, I think a lot of people would consider Zach.

quote better looking and then she was the one who had a problem with it so he must have been really fucking weird and realized so it's just it's crazy how it's just so much about taste and not even what the person looks like and it is about mannerisms and i'm also starting to doubt the process because i was like thinking about if i were in the pods and like some of the things you have to talk about and it's like I wouldn't open up to a wall.

Like that I can't see the person on the other side.

Like what if they're just like

and even when in some of the conversations like some of the people who were talking like one person's opening up and the other person's like fidgeting with something.

It's like if you were fucking fidgeting with something while I'm opening up about something like I wouldn't have feel warmly towards you.

Like yes, but

I think also you would never open up to a wall, but I think Maybe actually a lot of people would.

It's like much less scary.

No, I know, but I feel like then you're not falling in love with the person on the other side of the wall.

You're kind of just falling in love with the way that they react to what you're saying.

Yeah, that's true.

It's, you know, I feel like it's without seeing someone's mannerisms, like, it's not just about like, we have an emotional connection and will that take us through.

Like, it's like, we liked what the other person said, but then there's a million other things that come into play, like demeanor, mannerisms, faces that you make, you know.

Body language.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, mate.

So let's go keep going with a couple.

So now that we're on Zach and Irena, Zach and Bliss, which honestly, like

Jackie, when they were in Mexico and Jackie was like, wow, Bliss dodged a bullet.

Good for her.

I actually don't think I've ever had less respect for anyone than Bliss.

Like, not only did she take back a guy who

chose someone else and really chose someone who was like, and she was not wrong when she said, like, I would definitely think different of you.

Like, you chose Irina.

Like, I know Irina just like you do.

And she's not like a great person.

So she knows that about him.

She was second fiddle.

She took him back, went on a date with him, and she had absolutely no obligation to like pretend to like him like, you know, a lot of people do.

And then she accepts his proposal on the boat when they clearly have no chemistry.

It was so fucking weird.

I didn't see it that way.

Oh, I did.

It looked like Loserville.

Oh, I feel like for whatever reason, like she really likes him.

And when they saw each other, like it was a

mutual attraction.

And like, I think Bliss just really wants to be like a wife and a mom.

And Zach wants those things too.

And when two people want something so badly, like you can make it work from there.

So do you think they'll get married?

I don't know.

I'm literally like where I am, they're one episode in the back.

Like, you know what I mean?

Okay, so they get engaged.

They meet her parents, his family.

Oh, no, his, he doesn't like have family.

Yeah.

Her family.

Um, her mom is fine.

And then her dad comes with his stepmom and he's like so against it.

It's like really awkward and contentious.

Okay.

I really like these parents.

We need to put more respect on their names because the idea just kept being like to Zach, like, if Harry came home and said I'm engaged to this girl from television after two weeks, like I would call the police.

Of course.

And best case scenario is you're wrong.

Yeah.

But most likely you're not.

Yeah.

And so I,

but also it's like you're on a TV show.

You don't want to come off as like, you know, the big bag parent.

So you kind of just have to like let your, but I actually really liked Micah's parents' reaction.

They were like, obviously not here for this, but they're like, we know our daughter.

Yeah.

And I feel like if you

trust your child, then.

Just let them see this through.

Because here's the thing.

At worst, they're not going to get together.

Like they're going to have their heart broken.

Right.

at best they're gonna get married and like a lot of these people are older and really want to be married and it's like okay it's not conventional but it's something and it's not like it's not like there have been no people who have actually been successfully married there have actually been like three or four couples who are totally married yeah and like really married amber barnett lauren and cameron who else so i guess it would just be that i feel like i could maybe get over the the process of yeah you know the experiment i it would just depend on the person that my like child brought home yeah yeah but it's also hard to judge that immediately.

And then if you do judge the person based on like what they're giving you, then

you're kind of like an asshole judgmental.

100%.

And then the final couple.

Anyways, what I'm saying is the parents are in an impossible position.

Yeah, of course, of course.

But you also just like for TV want to

just come off normal and like, yeah, this is great.

And then text your kid, like, what the fuck are you doing?

You know?

But then the kid goes to the camera and my parents aren't.

By the way, what nerve.

Like Kwame's mom is not coming.

Yeah, and I understand that.

Of course.

And she's also really mad because she wanted him to marry someone of similar background.

And like, Chelsea's, you know, not.

And that's a tough conversation to have.

And I'm sure she doesn't want to fucking explain why she wants her son to marry someone from the same background.

Like,

that's fair, honestly.

Yeah, that is fair.

And then Jackie and Marshall.

So.

What ends up happening is that Jackie and Marshall break up.

She goes on a date with Josh.

Actually, before she breaks up with Marshall,

that's what the camera showed happen.

She then said she went on a date with him after.

Okay,

yeah, I don't care.

But when she sits down with Marshall, she's like, I just saw Josh.

So, whatever.

But everyone's like quaking over, they had this kind of contentious conversation.

He's been like a really nice guy the whole time.

She's clearly, she has some sort of undiagnosed disorder.

She's a very like her mood swings are insane.

And sometimes it's funny, like when she was in the pool, just like talking about all the other couples, I was like, oh, that's funny.

Cause she went from like being mean to laughing.

But she has something.

She's really, she's unbalanced.

And he's been so calm with her.

And he's really been like a PJOM.

And he was just done at this point.

So

he was like, we're done.

And he wanted the ring back.

She was like, no, you gave this to me.

Like, no.

And everyone's like, Jackie's so evil.

Give him the ring back after all you put him through.

But it's like, it's literally not his ring.

It's just as much hers as it is his.

Production pays for the ring.

Yeah.

And she had just like one of the regular like.

And then in her statement, because a lot of people have been coming over, she's like, I know you guys like thought it was rude.

I should have given it back to Netflix, not Marshall.

Right.

He was just like trying to make a point to like be dramatic, but it's literally not your ring.

It's neither of theirs.

I know she's like the villain because that's what I've seen.

And I haven't seen her.

I've seen the mood swings and, but every one, I kind of could understand a little bit.

Like I feel like she's struggling because she's like really happy with Marshall and she wants to get like carried away with the whole process, but she has her family who are not here for her going on the show and getting married and engaging.

And like that's a real buzzkill.

Of course.

You know, when like you feel like you're doing something that goes against like what your family wants from you for you and like it's conflicting.

So I understand a little bit why she's like having these extreme moods.

But and then you know, she met his family and I thought she was, they were all really sweet and like she came out of it really quickly.

You mean she was like having a breakdown before?

Yeah, she was having a breakdown right now.

She's just very emotional.

She is.

But I also feel like, and I started feeling this way in the pods first, like Marshall's a little controlling.

And I feel like he was one controlling when anyone else was talking to Jackie.

Like, that's the fucking show.

Like, that's insane.

Like, you're not engaged yet.

Like, that's what this is for.

And, like, he was upset that Josh didn't like mention his connection.

But, like, honestly, I'd probably move like that too.

I would be silent.

Look at what happened with all the girls.

Everyone knows everyone's business.

And, like, I literally think Micah got engaged to Paul just to stick it to Chelsea.

100%.

Who?

Amber.

Yeah.

So I understand all that.

I thought that Marshall's reaction was like really controlling and possessive of Jackie when it's like, she's still single.

She's in the game.

And then when he said that he looked at her like a project.

That was me.

No, it was mean, but I do think it was revealing and also true, which is like

he wants to be the one to fix her and like her to blossom under his tutelage.

And it's just like, she's her own person.

Like you don't marry some more like get this serious with someone who, because of potential.

It's like,

do you love her as she is with all of this or like, or not?

So I don't know.

I feel like they're really not a good fit for each other.

And also what she wants is like what Marshall said, like a toxic kind of love, where it's like more passionate and fiery and aggressive.

Gosh.

Drama in the bedroom and whatnot.

And so for that reason, one, for that reason, that's probably why she's still single.

Yeah.

And two, for that reason, she's not going to be able to see Marshall for what he can bring.

So his good traits.

Yeah, no, he's like very stable, looking to settle.

He's like emo boy.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think she finds him to be soft.

You know, he's like a little beta.

Yeah.

No, he's like, yeah, he's just like in his feelings.

and and she's not into that look no not at all but i would think that in the pods you'd get a sense of that yeah no and also you just have to be self-aware like you're on tv yeah um so the weddings are coming up we obviously don't know anything yet which is just beyond annoying after how many hours i've spent of this show and

that's your recap

That's all, folks.

It's not.

It's not all folks because we still have a whole ass show together.

I know.

I can't believe we just did that at the beginning.

Honestly, I didn't think it was going to be so long.

You should really cut it and just put it at the end.

I really didn't think it was going to be so long.

I'm sorry.

I thought it was going to be like a really cute, quick moment for us.

No, no, when they take up this much of your time in your brain space and having to hear people say like that many times, I'm going to have some feelings about it.

And it's really making me look at myself and count how many times I say like.

By the way, it's unbearable.

Same.

It's unbearable.

But you also have to remember these are ordinary people.

Yeah.

And

they're not.

media trained.

Like we're just watching people be people.

And sometimes that can be really fucking boring.

Boring.

But refreshing.

Yeah.

Unless you have a character like a Jackie Jackie or Irina, but then you're like, why?

You're so crazy.

You know, we need people like making the show.

Yeah.

I can't watch Micah and Paul all day.

No.

So let's dive into the stories.

I do feel like it's time.

Okay, Turdy Luya.

Without further ado, here are the Festify stories that you need to know.

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That's quite literally what I do for a living.

Okay, are you ready for our first story?

Well, I wasn't ready when I first heard it, but yes, I am ready.

Taylor Swift and Joe Alwin have broken up after six years of dating.

Entertainment Tonight exclusively learned and broke the news that Taylor and Joe broke up a few weeks ago.

They also learned that the split was amicable and it was not dramatic.

Entertainment Tonight's told the relationship had just run its course.

It's why Joe hasn't been spotted at any shows.

She is currently on the Eras tour, which heads to Tampa next week.

I mean, it's been a really long time since like a piece of pop culture news has like really shocked me.

And with this, not only have they been together for so long, so you just kind of forget about people.

Like they're just settled.

They're out to sea.

Their ship is out to sea.

And we get no real updates on them because they're so private, except her songs, which are so glowingly.

Which are not even like

some of the most beautiful love songs.

Yeah, it's just like the story is over.

Yes.

I've solved love.

Yes.

It's done.

Case closed.

I'm only going to write about the love.

Right.

That's why it was so shocking.

Right.

And

I will admit now I feel like I can.

You know, when they first started dating, he's not my type.

I don't really know him.

He's not that famous.

Like, I wasn't obsessed.

Like, I think a lot of people are obsessed with the relationship.

I'm not.

I've actually never seen him in anything.

I think people are obsessed with the love for Taylor.

Yes, and the stability for Taylor.

That I loved.

And I think...

And the loyalty.

I think he was really there for her during like dark times, you know, Kim and Kanye reputation.

So I do really feel like every relationship serves its purpose in one way or another in your life.

And I feel like he served his purpose.

And as much as like, I'm sad that Taylor has been going through a breakup and probably writing some great great songs I am not like not excited about like she's single now and we forget because it's been so long but she was like the single gal to a point where like it became her thing.

I'm ready like who does she date next?

Like I'm excited.

I don't think it's gonna be like that.

I know for so many reasons.

One like I think for a lot of guys like they don't want to be lumped in.

They don't want to be a part of that group.

Like look at Jake Gyllenhaul, like the fans are her, you know what I mean?

Like so to even go on a date with someone, have a song written about you, it's just like, is it worth it?

If you, you really have to think you're going to find love with this person.

And I think for Taylor, like, I think she loved the privacy of the last six years and dating someone more low-key.

And I don't think she wants a relationship that everyone's talking about and everyone's talking about her man.

Like.

I think she'll continue to be low-key about it.

I don't think it's going to be like, you know, Taylor and Tom Brady and she's on like a press tour of dating.

Well, Dumois posted, and we have to, of course, take with a grain of salt that Taylor and Joe have been broken up for a while and she's actually seeing someone new, an older, more low-key guy.

Yeah, that tracks.

Yeah, it does track.

I don't know if it's true or not, but I believe they've been broken up for a decent amount of time.

And, you know, Taylor, and she'll admit this, and I think people used to use it as like a slight against her, but she meticulously plans out everything in her life.

And I think, you know, the timing, she has a weekend off.

This is like the longest break in the tour.

I think it's like a week and a half.

So it gives everyone time to kind of like move on, forget about it.

But now, of course, everyone's going back and looking at things she's been doing, changes she's been making, things she's been saying in the last couple of weeks that might have indicated that something was...

She's saying the one, which is a breakup song, but every song of hers is a breakup song.

No, so not only that, it's like she replaced a core song in the set list, which was Invisible String, and everybody knows is about Joe Green.

Was the gun of that?

Weren't the last three albums about Joe?

Not, no, not every, not every song, no.

London

Boy is obviously about Joe.

Yeah, like all the lover ones, really, that's like the Joe era.

Like, not really.

Yes, really.

Okay, but so I'm saying not every song is about, but the Invisible String one is like, in my opinion, like the greatest, not only most obvious, but like, it's like a song dedicated to Joe.

And she removed it and replaced it to the one, which if you don't know the one thing.

And what about the one about him being poor?

Yeah.

She calls him poor an invisible string.

And what, but what about the other one?

Where she calls me?

Which one?

King of My Heart?

Oh, all the boys in their fancy cars with their Range Rovers and the Jaguars never took me quite the way you do.

Or maybe Paris, your roommate's

cheap-ass screw-top rose.

That's how.

There's so many instances where she calls him poor.

Maybe he had enough.

Does she still sing King of My Heart?

I don't know if King of My Heart is not on the set list.

Huh.

King of My Heart is the best song.

I just really hope that this doesn't then.

I don't think it will.

Because like I am.

I think this weekend, Tampa is going to get like a breakup show.

I am hoping, dreaming, dying for one of these shows.

Of course, I'm hoping that it's mine for her to sing Peace.

Like, I don't know how you write Peace about someone.

And maybe, maybe it wasn't enough that she could never give him Peace.

Like, but

yeah, it's not a love song.

Like.

so it's like an anxiety song.

Yeah, I don't think it falls into the category of things we can't sing anymore because I'm processing this breakup.

I agree.

I agree.

But I hope that category is not going to be a thing.

I don't think it will be because I think she's already processed everything.

She probably, you know, when you're breaking up with someone, especially a long-term relationship, like things deteriorate for a while before you make the choice.

And like, I think you do a lot of the grieving before.

Like, I feel like by the time she even embarked on this tour, like, she's known what's up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just, it's, it was so shocking.

And, and, and I really can't stress enough how I'm like, I'm not mourning him at all.

Like, I really wasn't ever like die-hard obsessed.

I, if I'm being completely honest, thought she could do better.

Um, but I was happy for her, you know, and she, bless you, she sees on it, it's true.

She seemed really balanced and happy.

You're like mourning the stability.

Yeah, because I think that's like what she craves because so much about her life is like so crazy.

So for that, I'm sad, but I do feel like I'm ready for her to move on.

Yeah, but I also feel like when they started dating

where she was versus where she is now, it's like she's almost a different person and like in her growth, in her career, in her success, like she's never been this popular

ever.

Yeah.

And

I don't, but I think she's also the type to be like, well, he was with me when I was down.

Like I'll always

stand by him.

I have to imagine that like when your life and your career is like predicated on so many ups and downs, like you don't make decisions in haste, like when you're going through a bad time and when you're at the top, oh, I'm at the top of my game.

I don't need him now.

Like I don't think.

And I also feel like, cause I've just been watching a lot of, I've just watched George and Tammy and a lot of movies about famous people, Biopics, Johnny Cash, Walk the Line.

I feel like when you're at the top, that's when it's the loneliest.

Yes.

And when you're climbing out of something, you have a purpose and a guiding light and like you are driven.

But then you reach the top and it only just like, it echoes.

The loneliness just echoes.

So I actually...

feel like even though it might seem like oh she's on top she just wants to like do her thing and party and have fun it's like i think that's when you want like someone in your bed to come home to and to actually like enjoy everything that you've built.

Yes, having said that, I do also really feel like when we watch those biopics, it's always, yeah, you're at the top, but there's no one there with you.

Yeah.

Um, I feel like Taylor's whole life has been preparing her for that.

Like, I feel like she's always around her family, she's always around like her home friends.

Like, she went through that era where she only had famous friends, and now she has like two or three famous friends, but they're like actual friends.

I feel like she set herself up to, you know, whenever she reaches a peak, and maybe she's in it now, maybe she's still on her way up, that she's not alone.

Yeah.

And that she is like fulfilled.

But I could also see how, like, she's constantly surrounded by people.

She has her friend, like, you know, her artist friends, these people.

And there's always a lot of noise.

And if she ever is truly by herself,

it must be very quiet.

I just feel like you're just like going tit for tap with me.

Like, I feel like she's, I feel like she's.

I'm not going tiff-for tattoo.

I don't know what she's like.

I'm not going tit-for-tap with you.

I'm going tip-for-tap with the concept of like stardom and loneliness.

No, and by the way, you know what I mean?

100%.

And I think a lot of those are 100% true all of the time.

But I just feel like Taylor is different.

I do.

I really do.

Like Taylor's not a party girl.

She doesn't like do drugs.

Yeah.

She's always with her family.

Like her family is, and

I think for a lot of stars, when they become like untethered from their families or their family betrays them or it's something about money, like that's when they really like lose grip of reality.

And that's when they become so untethered.

And they just like, you know, hang with people who give them drugs and bad influences.

And the fact that Taylor has remained so so close to her family is like very grounding for somebody in her situation.

So I'm choosing to believe that that's what's happening.

Yeah.

No, I understand.

It's just crazy.

Like we literally watch so many movies recently.

We watched Patsy Klein's biopic.

We watched Loretta Lynn School Country.

Loretta Lynn, Johnny Cash.

And then I watched George and Tammy.

And

it's crazy how it's just like everyone who's at the top is just so unhappy.

Yeah.

And they turn to all of this different substances.

And it's like such a like, it's crazy how really so few people escape that.

Like,

yeah.

I don't, I don't know.

Yeah, I feel like.

But maybe it's also about being an artist.

Like, you can't really be like a creative person without being a little tortured.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like searching for something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because, you know, some people just become an accountant.

And like, it's very cut and dry.

They're fine.

And they're fine.

Yeah.

But, you know, if you want to like dig deep into the soul, like into your soul, like it's just, it's a different beast.

Yeah, I just do think a lot of those like cliches don't apply here honestly i agree i do agree are you ready for our next story yes ma'am some happy relationship news like once it sinks it can be repurposed built back together and set reclaimed wood reclaimed married joanna gains set afloat with olivia colbo and christian mccaffrey who are engaged she posted the announcement on instagram friday in a picture a carousel of him proposing to her i think they were at ammon geary in utah they had taken a road trip an rv RV.

She was like so excited.

Obviously, I follow her, so I was just watching the road trip and I was shocked at how she was saying this is like her dream vacation is to go.

It was not even like a big RV.

Like it wasn't like a coach bus.

It was like an RV with like one room and a couch.

And I was like, damn.

And it was just her and Christian.

Christian was driving and Oliver Sprinkles, their dog, was there, which does make everything more fun.

100%.

And I guess they drove from LA to Utah and they stayed at Amungiri and they got engaged.

And it's so fucking beautiful.

I think a lot of people like what were watching the trip on her Instagram stories, being like, they're going to get engaged.

But people think that about everyone who goes on a trip who has a boyfriend.

Like, people do think that about everything, but I just want to say, I'm not one of those people.

And you did say that.

And I did say, like, I feel like this would, because it's the off-season, it's just the two of them.

If you can live on an RV with someone for a number of days, made for life.

And they're driving the bus and like their driving skills, like, and the, you know, shower situation and the cooking and the makeup, like, you can marry them, I believe.

Uh-huh.

So I think the RV was a test.

They arrived.

At the most, one of the most beautiful resorts in the country.

Right.

And he said, that's my wife.

That's my wife.

And then he had no doubts.

Yeah.

And she looked so happy.

She looked so beautiful.

There were like a lot of

because

she got back from the trip.

She got engaged, and then like, there was like two or three days where she didn't say anything.

Yeah, she got engaged on the second, and the news came out on the fifth.

So between the second and the fifth, some of her friends spoiled it.

Yeah, like I think her sister posted a story where there was like big balloons in the background with like one of those engagement ring balloons.

Yeah.

Whatever.

Like it's all good.

No, it's all good and it's all like good news.

Right.

Spoiling good news is not spoiling.

Yeah.

And it's all, it was fun for the fans.

Yeah.

I'm happy for her.

Like I think he's so cute and I just love that.

I love this for her, especially as like a niners girl myself.

Yeah.

It's like a big Bay Area queen.

I'm thrilled.

It also, it...

It hits harder, like having just watched the Colpo show and like just knowing what she's about and what she wants out of life.

And it's like, this is what she wants.

Like she wants to be married and settle down and have kids and that she's on the path to all of that.

I'm so happy for her.

It also hits harder just like knowing that she's now joining like an elite Wags crew over in San Francisco.

We know we have Kyle Yuschek and his wife, you know, iconic toasters.

By the way, I was just saying this to Ben because when we went to San Francisco with Kyle and Kristen for the 49ers game,

I met Claire Kittle, who is George Kittle's wife, and she's so cute and so nice.

And I hadn't, I'm not like a big footballer.

I hadn't heard of George Kittle

before that game.

When I tell you, not a day goes by that I don't see George Kittle.

Now, it's like, you know, when you don't know someone or something and then it's everywhere you go, George Kittle.

And I said, I'm like, Ben, George Kittle's everywhere.

And Ben's like, yeah, he's also like having a moment.

He's like coming up right now.

Like he's on all these podcasts and he has like a bunch of friends who have like big shows, YouTube shows.

So he's popping up everywhere.

But like, I swear to God, I had never heard this man's name in my life.

And now not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about George Kittle.

Yeah.

It's just how life works, you know?

It is.

And I do agree with you, though.

Right?

You see him everywhere.

Yeah, he's everywhere.

But I also now follow Claire, so I see him everywhere.

I see him every day on my Instagram.

By the way, I follow her too.

That's, that's also it.

But also, also Ben said he's like having a moment because like he was like had a really good season and like you know, there's like a lot of you know it when it rains of course.

Yeah.

As Liz Lemon once said.

Yeah, so this is great for the Niners gang.

I know so it's that was just like another elite marriage.

Oh and think about the wedding like all the flags are gonna be there.

And she's so I don't know who wouldn't want to dress her.

Like she's so stunning.

She's gonna like a custom Versace dress or something.

But I think she's also like quite traditional.

And so yeah, by the way, she is.

Like I think her family's like kind of religious.

Like they're there's gonna be and her and Christian are religious.

She said on the show that like when they get into fights and like they can't see their way out of stuff like they pray together oh my god that's so cute so cute speaking of prayer total tangent but i did want to talk about this because i saw an interview this morning and i've been seeing a few that black china has been on this um kind of like press journey and actually she prefers she's going by angela white now i don't know if you know that she had is having like a a come to quite literally a come to jesus moment she got all of her filler dissolved she quit only fans she is um she was baptized she's having her she said this quote demonic tattoos removed.

She's like a woman of Christ now.

She looks so beautiful.

I saw this interview she did.

And honestly, like the interviewer was like gushing over her.

And he was just like, how did you come to this place?

She's like, I just, you don't see it when you're in it.

I was like happy doing all the things that I was doing.

And then one day I like found Christ and I was like, I can't believe I'm living my life this way.

And I'm putting all these toxic things in my body.

And this is how I'm making a living.

And honestly, she was so.

She sounded so lucid.

And I've never, ever in my life been a fan of black China.

Like clearly, I'm a Kardashian stan.

I literally have the word China.

Right.

we literally invented a word after her i was so happy for her she looked so healthy and happy and you know

salvation is real salvation is real well i was just watching george and tammy and eventually i don't want to spoil it um but by the end of the show george finds christ

and

it's just

It can be really good for people.

It's amazing.

It's for people who are struggling with a myriad of things.

Like first his friend, who was like really an enabler the whole show.

Then one day, just like him and his wife found Jesus, and like they weren't about that life anymore.

And he kept trying to get George to see the light.

And finally, George does, and it just changes everything for him.

Yeah, and I'm not, I'm not, obviously, not a Jesus girly.

And I'm not speaking like Jesus.

No, but it believes in a higher power.

Or like a spirituality, whatever religion it is.

It can be so grounding, I think, especially when you run in like, you know, Hollywood, which can be like, you know,

and when people treat you like a god.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then it's hard to have perspective.

Yeah.

I just thought it was a really powerful interview.

If you can catch, she's been doing a bunch.

Like, it was really interesting.

She went on podcasts.

It was good stuff.

I'm really happy for her.

Yeah.

We said Christian.

And the Kardashians are like weirdly

religious.

Religious.

So maybe this could be.

Underratedly.

Yeah.

Maybe this could be common ground for them.

They can, you know, take the kids to church.

Yes, I agree.

Yeah, I think it's good.

I think it's all good.

I'm happy for Olivia and Christian.

Me too.

Obsespian.

Yeah.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

An update in the in-law saga

has taken over.

I'm obsessed.

The Beckhams are celebrating Brooklyn and Nicola's first wedding anniversary together.

So Brooklyn and Nicola, happy anniversary.

They are together with Victoria and David.

Took a photo, posted it.

With a cake.

With a cake that had like photos on it.

I bet Brooklyn cooked it himself.

And, you know, they're putting up a united front.

Victoria posted the photo.

Nicola posted the photo.

Like, happy to be celebrating their anniversary.

Yeah.

And I'm just at a place now where nothing they do or say or post will convince me otherwise.

Like this.

Even Victoria, though.

Yeah.

This is giving.

And I'm just so convinced in my head.

And I don't have any proof.

But I think they're so motivated to prove people wrong, even though I think people are right, that they're just like posting.

Like, I really,

like, I'm not buying it.

But maybe it's just because I don't want to buy it.

But it's also like you could celebrate, you could be with your in-laws and have a bad relationship and take a picture and post it.

And like, yeah, we're celebrating the anniversary shirt.

It doesn't mean these people like each other.

Yeah.

I also felt like her outfit was just like, not what you wear to hang with your in-laws.

Yeah, she was like, definitely like downplaying the whole anniversary because she hates the matter.

No, no, no, no, no.

Not Victoria.

Oh.

Nicolas outfit.

What was she wearing?

She was, she's wearing like a crop-topping short short.

Like, that's just not.

It's not appropriate.

That's not what you wear with your in-laws.

And especially everyone else is wearing like pants.

It's clearly like the air conditioning's on in the home.

It's just like, it's just a side.

It's just not like in-law outfit.

There are outfits for certain things.

Just like when Celine was going to dinner with Drew Taggart, that wasn't a date outfit.

Right.

This is not an outfit that you wear with your in-laws.

Yeah, I'm just at a place in my life where I don't know what it would take for me to someone to convince me that these four get along.

I just know there's problems, and no photo is going to convince me otherwise.

I'll have to see it in person.

No, but I think that there can be problems and there can be a photo.

Yeah, of course, of course.

But I think this photo was posted to placate us and try and convince us that there's nothing going on when I know that there is.

Yeah.

And I will not be fooled, Jackie.

No, I don't think that you would be.

I will not be.

But happy anniversary.

The first year of marriage, they say, is the hardest.

Have you experienced that?

No.

The fact that this was a year ago, we've been talking about them for a year is so crazy.

Like, not to make everything about me, but what a year.

Like, so time flies.

I know, but it does feel like a year ago when they came on our radar because we have, we never talked about them before their wedding.

It does feel just really quick.

Yeah.

I remember when we talked about their wedding?

Yeah.

And we were just like...

Did you still live in New York?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

A year ago, April.

Yeah.

We were just like, what do these two have to worry about?

There's all the money in the world to pay for the wedding.

More money, more problems.

And it was, then it started to all unravel.

It did very quickly.

It was actually very fast.

Do I think the first year of marriage is the hardest?

I don't remember it being hard, honestly.

Yeah.

So no.

So no.

That would be a no.

Great.

That's just my opinion.

It's not.

Also, I do think COVID throws things.

My first year of marriage was like the year before COVID.

So then I would say the next COVID year was harder.

It was our first year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, like being up each other's asses, working from home.

Yeah, for that.

And maybe that's why I don't feel like the first year of marriage is the hardest rule applies to me.

It's because I think a lot of people struggle with having someone up your ass.

But like I crave to be up someone's ass and I crave someone up my ass.

Like I hate being alone.

I'd love to be.

It's so not true.

No, I know.

You hate when people are up your ass.

You're literally the first one to just dip out of a gathering.

That's different.

Even if it's four people, gathering of four.

That's different.

You're never like the one who's like, like you're always just all of a sudden we're laughing.

It's my family.

When it comes to my family, like I like to be.

No, when it comes to your family, you do it to us.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

We're one minute we're laughing.

Next, I'm going.

Really?

Yeah.

There's no wind down.

There's no nothing.

Maybe I'm like trying to leave to go back to bed.

Maybe I'm just obsessed with Ben.

With Ben?

Yeah, because I just said, like, I didn't, I like when Ben's up there.

But I feel like sometimes when you're dipping out, like, he's scolfing.

Maybe it's Theo.

Usually Theo's with you.

I don't know.

Maybe I just hate you.

Maybe.

Maybe it's me.

Yeah.

It's me.

Hi.

I'm the ramamy.

I don't know what it is.

But no, I didn't find the first year of marriage the hardest.

When you were 13, you didn't find the first year of marriage.

No, it's a hard year.

Child bride, I found it to be quite relaxing.

And I also didn't find COVID to be that taxing, but that's because we spend so much time at home.

Like, it wasn't that different than regular life.

No, it was different.

It was, it was.

But I don't remember.

Or also, maybe, maybe I experienced trauma and I forgot about it.

That's so possible.

That's so turdy that's so turdy for me to like go through something like unenjoyable and then not remember it but I actually remember like when we were going through COVID like we would remark on who's handling it the best like we would remark amongst ourselves and we would say like you and you are doing fine you Claudia like your mental health was fine yeah and you and Ben were fine yeah oh okay so maybe I'm not misremembering is what you're saying no we like we definitely did a ranking of like who was going who was having the hardest time yeah because that's like a fun thing to do.

No, it is and also what else were we going to talk about?

And now if we did, I don't remember the rest of the ranking.

Like, I just remember everyone agreeing that, like, you were fine.

Oh, my God.

Not someone we needed to worry about.

It's so sad that I have this amazing life and like this amazing family.

And I'm constantly experiencing things and memories with people that I just will never remember.

It's actually quite terrible.

Yeah.

Because you know what I was thinking?

You're going to kill me.

Oh, God.

Remember, like a couple of years ago on the toast, you were.

quoting back something I had allegedly said about getting on a plane and stepping into a new land.

Yeah.

So for those who haven't been in the city, I'm gonna forgot about this fight.

So, I have to retell because I've laid down my arms.

I literally forgot about that.

Can you retell?

Okay, so I, I think it was my belief that one time Claudia and I were just like talking about nonsense as we do, and she said something about the like magic of planes and how you literally can step onto a plane and like you get off into a new land.

And then on the toast, like maybe weeks later, Jackie Denn regurgitated what I had said.

And let me tell you, I did not say that.

Like, I'm like, that's just not something I said.

And then actually, I was thinking about this maybe like a week ago.

It actually does sound like something I would say.

And do you actually look within?

Do you feel that way?

Like, that's cool to get on a plane because you step off in a new land.

Okay, so maybe like the way you told it back wasn't accurate because what I was saying was more like, I don't want to get into it, but like,

I think I said it.

Let's just leave it at that.

How come no one ever surfaced it?

Like, if you did say it, couldn't someone just find it?

It was a personal conversation.

I think when we were on a plane.

That's a weird thing to say personally.

Like, not on a show when we're just trying to speak.

Like, be be dumb.

We're just trying to think of things to say.

Yeah, I don't know why I said it.

Like, maybe it was like a long day.

It's funny.

You're now like taking my position, but I'm now taking yours.

Like, I don't think you would say that

offline.

Okay.

It's something you would say on the air.

Maybe.

And if it was a thought I had, like, I definitely probably wouldn't have said it to you because, like, I knew you would have made fun of me.

No, never.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, if anyone can go find that clip of us, like, of me telling the story.

Yeah, it's like old studio.

Yeah.

That's an old one yeah i i forgot i let it go some things i can't let go because she's moving on letting go holding on to tomorrow i've always got the memories are you ready for our next story yeah bravo plans to revive roney legacy as a girls trip style show with

ramona and luan so bravo's trying to revive the real house eyes of new york city legacy project as a short real house eyes ultimate girls trip style show the network is hoping that ramona will be back.

As Page 6 first reported, Bravo attempted to create a show with the Legacy cast as a spin-off show that would be for a full season, but that idea fell apart during the contract negotiations.

Now they're told that executives have retooled it as a special style show documenting a short span of time in the same way that Ultimate Girls Trip covers a vacation that takes place over just a few days.

Sources say it will be an Ultimate Girls trip with the Roney Legacy cast.

And then I also saw some rumors that it was going to be a trip to Scary Island and bringing the band back together.

I saw that too.

I'm definitely getting

fatigued with this back and forth Rony Legacy.

Like I don't really care anymore.

Although I do think conceptually this is probably a better idea than like a whole different like new spin-off show.

Yeah.

Because the ultimate girls trips for like who diehard housewives fans are popular.

So it's good.

I'm too far removed to

be a fan of this idea or any idea at this point.

Like one, I don't watch the UGTs in general.

The idea of these women like going for

one last hurrah on a trip, like it's not even like they're in New York and they're doing their lives and they have to like, you know, vacation mode is different than real life mode.

So it's not, it will just be absolute bananas.

Yeah.

And I'm not interested in bananas.

No, but what I do like about this article is that some respect is being put on Ramona's name.

Cause you know what?

Say whatever the fuck you want about Ramona Singer.

Like you cannot deny her entertainment value, especially with these women.

She is, I'm sorry, like she is that bitch.

And I think it pains a lot of people to say that, but like she is.

So, you know what?

I hope she's on it, honestly.

Did you recap Banner Pump Rules on?

No.

No.

I don't even remember what happened, but I was just thinking about Watch What Happens Live with Tom Schwartz.

Did you watch that?

I did.

I did.

It was something to see.

It was definitely a lot.

A lot was happening.

So over him.

I've been over him for so long.

But I'm also over him from the show, like his behavior on the show.

Yeah.

And not even because of Tom Sandoval.

Like I, it honestly has nothing to do with Tom Sandoval.

No, it has a little bit to do with Tom Sandoval because honestly, the way he like alienates so many people, like including Katie right now, but refuses to alienate Tom Sandoval when like Tom Sandoval right now is making Tom Schwartz look like Tom Schwartz has so much to answer for.

So many people are mad at Tom Schwartz.

Like there's so much happening to Tom Schwartz as a result of Sandoval's actions and like he still

is not even remotely mad.

He was telling everyone, give Sandoval a hug if you see him.

He's feeling down.

Like, but he's so quick to throw like Katie under the bus yeah it's just it's it's frustrating yeah no but I I feel good about the fact that I've been done with him since before scandal yeah you know yeah like yeah whatever um and the only thing that happened on Vanderbilt Rules was um

raquel and tom made out right like who cares it's just at this point it's so irrelevant yeah and we'll talk about it later this week when it comes on.

I just I can't go circle the train anymore.

And now it's like we're in a lull until those final episodes air and the reunion airs.

Like we have some time off.

Yeah, especially if we're going to keep going on about Tom and Raquel Schwartz because it's irrelevant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm taking the time off.

Dumbass.

To watch some other shows.

I'm taking the time off.

Like George and Tammy.

Right.

And Love is Blind.

Our fifth and final story, which Claudia requested.

Oh, yeah.

Claudia's request.

I'm going to read it, even though I don't understand the headline or anything about it.

Well, let me just tell you a little preface.

Last night, me and Ben went to the movies.

So underrated.

Can't recommend going to the movies enough, even though the popcorn was like kind of gross.

We saw Air, which is the story of Michael Jordan making a deal with Nike to do Air Jordan.

He had just, I think, he was a freshman in college.

He was assigned to the NBA.

There was a lot of hype around other players.

He was the third draft pick, but he wasn't like, you know, the biggest.

And he was pretty big.

Yeah, but like with the three major companies at the time, which was Converse.

Adidas was in first place, Converse, and then Nike was like kind of losery.

They had like a very small share of the basketball market.

They were never going to get a top three player, like ever.

But But you said he was number three.

Yeah, they were never going to get a top three player.

And so, how they got the deal structured, yada, yada.

So, Viola Davis plays his mother.

She was amazing.

Ben Affleck plays Phil Knight, the founder of Nike.

And there is no Michael Jordan character.

He exists.

You see the back of his head.

His mother really speaks for him, which I do think is how it was when he was younger.

His mom ran the ship, but he doesn't say one word.

Hmm.

It was so bizarre.

And so now now the reason I say the story is Ben Affleck is explaining that artistic choice.

Okay.

So

Ben Affleck explains why Michael Jordan isn't shown in Air.

By the way, that movie sounds really good.

And why haven't I heard one thing about it?

I know.

Ben had told me about it, which is crazy because Ben knows nothing.

You guys should totally see it.

It was excellent.

Yeah, Zach was saying that.

Oh my God, they saw Air?

Yeah.

I was like, yeah, they saw Air.

It was really good.

It's also a weird name for a movie.

I can't explain it.

I didn't like the name.

Even though it's like a word and it's what the shoe was called.

Yeah.

It's it's not a title air jordan would have been a better it's not a title of a movie i agree air

air it was weird michael jordan plays a pivotal role in the movie air and is even present in a few climactic boardroom pitch scenes yet his face is not shown in the film aside from shots of magazine covers and snippets of archival footage of the real-life player right we get the real michael jordan in like old schools yeah i like when they do that It's a bold choice

for the Amazon Studios film because it's all about the Nike executives wooing quadrantas.

This is what the unathlect said, quote, how do you tell, sorry, this is what someone asked him.

How do you tell a story about Michael Jordan and never see him?

When you are that person, when you become so much more than a hero or an athlete or even an icon, you start to become an idea to people.

You touch them and just start to represent hope and excellence and greatness.

You are one of a kind.

There is no way I was ever going to ask an audience to believe that anybody other than Michael Jordan was Michael Jordan, which was also out of my own naked self-interest, frankly, because I knew it would destroy the movie.

You will see him in archival clips in the movie, but you will see Michael Jordan as he truly is

in his authentic, masterful genius, which exists for all of us to see.

It was a deliberate choice.

I thought he was too majestic to have anyone impersonate him.

And as I told him, you're too old to play the part.

It was a terrible choice.

Disagree.

You disagree with what I'm saying?

With Ben Affleck.

Yeah, it was such a bad choice.

Confusing misleading.

And I really,

I don't feel like it was deliberate.

I feel like maybe,

I don't know, it was such a bad thing.

It was my only real problem with the movie,

especially because I understand what he's saying.

Like, now Michael Jordan is this larger than life, real legend.

But at the time, he was like just a kid and he was like doing what his mom said.

Like, I really feel like it wouldn't have made, and they didn't have to make him a huge part of it.

Cause at the end of the day, it was all his mother.

She made the deal, and it was her idea that, okay, you're going to pay Michael this big amount, but like you're selling shoes with his name on it.

We get a percentage of every sale.

And that had never happened before.

It's a royalty deal.

It had never happened.

And it changed.

Now moving after that, every player who has a line gets a percentage.

And it's like, yeah, this should, this money is being made off the likeness of a player.

And the player and their family should get that money in addition to Nike.

Yeah.

So it revolutionized, like, and it was all her.

So I get maybe him not being the biggest character, but like, okay.

Yeah.

And they talked about him so much.

And then finally, when they got a meeting, I'm like, all right, well, we haven't seen him up until this point, but we got a meeting.

Literally, like, his parents get out of the limo.

And oh my God, the actor who played his dad, I thought was Michael Jordan.

Like, it was a perfect casting.

They could have found someone.

No, they could have.

And it's crazy that we're having this conversation after watching all these biopics.

It's like, you can get Elvis.

You could do Johnny Cash.

Like, all these people are really larger than life and in the stratosphere.

And we play them all the time.

Yeah.

And sometimes it's, and sometimes it's not.

Obviously, like, you know, Joaquin Phoenix is no Johnny Cash.

Of course, but he did his best.

But we get to see the story of Johnny Cash, sure.

Yeah.

It was so.

And they could have had Michael's son play him.

It was so dumb.

And Marcia could have been there.

Literally.

It was so dumb.

That's dumb.

Yeah.

I really liked the movie.

I didn't know much going into it.

So I was surprised that like the whole movie from start to finish is the making of the deal.

We never get to see like the deal come to life and then what happens afterwards.

No, they torture us.

I know.

And I was just, and they gave statistics at the end, which are so unbelievable.

You know, to this day, Michael Jordan makes passive income every year.

And he only, they didn't tell you what percentage.

He has a small percentage of Air Jordan.

He doesn't leave his house.

he makes $400 million a year.

It is the craziest thing.

And so, I just wanted to see a little bit more.

Like, literally, they signed the deal and the movie ends.

I'm like, that's torture.

They always do that.

They only focus on like the tumultuous times.

And when those are like a small fraction of all the good times.

Even when I was watching George and Tammy, like all the years, the albums that they did, the success they have, was literally they showed

a montage of a bunch of albums like being dropped down.

Give us the good.

Like, give us the joy.

No, only the heartache and the torture.

Oh my god, it was like so painful.

But it was excellent.

And the Jason Bateman played like a pivotal guy at Nike.

Matt Damon played the guy at Nike.

And Ben Affleck played shoe dog, Phil Knight.

And if I was Phil Knight, like I would have a problem with the movie because Phil Knight is like known.

He was like, he traveled to

Asia and like found all these like Buddhist principles and brought back and started Nike.

And like he's so, he's definitely like a little, you know,

out there.

But they made him out to be like.

A freak.

A moron.

And it's like, you don't build Nike by being a moron.

Like, come on.

Like, yeah, he's weird and he doesn't wear shoes around the office, but he is a smart guy.

Apparently his book is good, shoe dog.

Yes.

It's apparently like the go-to business book.

It's like the best one.

Ben started and never finished.

That's so bad.

That's so bad.

I keep saying finish it.

I'm like, maybe the movie will encourage you to.

Oh, we don't have another story because that was five, but we did have our sixth man story of the day, which was about Ben's shoe on Friday's episode.

Ben's shoe.

I didn't know what you were talking about for a second.

Ben's shoes on Friday's episode.

So I do want to kind of address the elephant in the room, which was on Friday.

I told you guys how excited I was about trying something new with our cameras.

I bought a second camera for our studio.

I tried something.

It definitely needs work.

You know, the angles aren't right.

I'm actually

going to head to the studio soon and work on it.

But I got dragged.

I got dragged to fail with people being like, this sucks.

And my fucking husband, Ben's shoe, was in the frame the whole time.

I'm sorry for what happened on Friday on YouTube.

I am.

Even though I still think it looked really good.

Like, you could still see both of our faces so clear and up close.

Like, isn't that what we want to see facial reactions?

Yeah, no, you were focused on the face, which I do think is the primary.

Yep.

But you weren't focused on the wallpaper, the spritz.

And the shoe.

And the table.

And then the shoe.

Day one.

And it was a Friday with my.

Like Ben's shoe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you did also ask people, what do you think of our new setup?

So then you got 100,000 comments saying Ben's shoe.

Okay, here.

Okay, so I'm going to work.

Ben's shoe dog.

So tomorrow, like, we'll be in the studio with two cameras, and let me just say, I don't want to know what you think.

Okay, great, great.

I don't want feedback.

But I watched the episode and I saw the comments and I was like, I wonder if she asked people for their feedback.

I did.

Because everyone's giving feedback.

I did twice, actually.

Right.

And it was fun.

Like, at least we'll always have Ben Shu to unite us.

He's a shoe dog.

He is the shoe dog.

So I actually really recommend.

I think it's a Nike Shoe.

I really recommend the movie, by the way.

No.

I'm not going to watch it.

No, it was really good.

But you just made it sound really bad.

And if you,

I don't know a lot about Michael Jordan.

Like, I know he's the GOAT.

And I know he, like, weirdly also played in the MLB for a while because he's just, like, such a great athlete.

He could do anything.

Um, it was really impressive, and it made me like, I had a thirst for more knowledge about Michael Jordan.

And it was very good.

It was very good.

Okay, that's good.

It was also just very strangely, um,

a guy who had a very small role played by Marlon Waynes, who was friends with Matt Damon, who was trying to get this deal done, and he was like getting advice because he used to coach Michael Jordan back in college,

who was telling the story about something that happened to him when he went to like a civil rights march like years ago?

How some guy handed him a piece of paper, it ended up in his pocket.

It was the half of this guy's speech.

And he looked at it after, and it was the I Have a Dream speech.

It was like Martin Luther King accidentally put it in his pocket.

And I'm like, that is definitely not real.

And then at the end, when they have pictures of everyone side by side with the real, the actor and then the real person,

it is a true story.

And that guy was offered $3 million for it.

And he said no.

Wow.

It was just like, it was also just like a very crazy, random

anecdote, which really really didn't have anything to do with the story but i'm like there's literally no way but it was real that's crazy it was a it was crazy so very good that's a good thing to do um to go see if you like date night i i recommend and or you could watch george and tammy which is on showtime it's about george jones and tammy wynette you know the king and queen of country music it's crazy how i really didn't know who they were at all jessica chaste and plays tammy wynette and michael shannon who you would know his face plays george jones and he to me is the star of the show like he really did amazing and I don't like how they were singing like it was the actor like I want to hear Tammy Wynette sing um

also if you're looking for something to watch you could watch succession oh yeah we'll get into the recap but I want to recap George and Tammy oh okay like I just want to assist the TV recap yeah yeah yeah okay it could be the TV recap so is it is it the TV recap that's brought to you by Manscaped yeah ladies want to look like George Jones our friends want manscaped our friends at manscaped are here to with a deal you can't pass over this Easter season they've got the tools to give the man in your life the beautifully decorated eggs of his dreams.

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Okay, George and Tammy, before we get into succession, I'll be brief about it because it was really good.

I feel like it's a show that, you know, no one's really talking about.

It didn't get that much buzz or critical acclaim, but it was totally up there and high value.

Great people story.

Again, weird that I didn't really like, I don't know George Jones.

You know some of the songs and Tammy Wynette, and so it was cool to like see them in action.

Jessica Chastain is a fabulous queen, but like she's Jessica Chastain.

It's so hard to

to think of her as someone else.

Yeah.

And I just feel like I didn't get to I don't understand Tammy Wynette as a person at all.

I mean, who's to know people, but I just felt like the character was almost inconsistent a little bit.

But it was really enjoyable.

I think it's six episodes, premium quality, premium content, country music, lots of other country folk.

You should watch it, Dirty Lou.

Yeah.

And then you'll want to recap it.

Yeah, no, you're not like selling it.

No, it was good.

It's a crazy story.

Like, I didn't even know that they were, you know, king and queen, that they were like in love and recording music together.

And it was just like really cute.

They would literally like get together and write a song about getting together.

They got married.

They wrote a song about that.

They get into a fight.

Like the whole world was a part of their relationship via their songs.

I didn't know that they were like such a, I guess like Garth and Tricia.

But we don't even know about Garth and Trisha.

Like we don't know anything about them.

Do they even live together?

No, like Garth and Trisha are like first lady and president of country music, but like not really.

Yeah, like her tour bus literally said first lady because she was the first lady of country music.

Oh, whose?

Tammy Wynette.

Oh, that you're talking about Trisha Gearwood.

No.

No, like Tricia Gearwood doesn't really even like, perform or write new music that much anymore.

She's like a cooking show.

She's very much like,

she's like a celebrity.

Yeah.

So it was interesting to, like, they had this huge, larger-than-life.

It's like, I can't imagine living through, like, being a fan of theirs.

There was so much content they were giving.

I also feel like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw are probably more

deep of a comparison, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Garth is just so big, but that's what they're doing.

And George Jones, like, he was the king of country music.

Bigger than her?

bigger than tammy yeah well when they met yes and then like he was had a drinking problem he was on the decline she was on the up ultimately did she get as big as him yeah

i think it's faith and tim you think it's faith i know shannon and earth are really

not equal no i agree with that but i think faith and tim are not as big as george and tammy were right right but they're really big yeah i feel like there's one other country music couple that kept coming to mind like it would have been like blake and miranda i know if they had stuck it out they really would have been like the next.

Tammy and George were only married for six years.

Oh.

And like the whole show is like, you know, they were always like each other's one.

But then when you look at their whole life story,

I didn't think that they were.

Like they tried to make the case, but like she was married five times.

She was so in love with George.

But they were married for six years and then she married someone else and was married to him for 20 years.

Oh, so he wasn't the one.

But the 20-year relationship was extremely nefarious.

I hate to see it.

Yeah.

No,

like, I don't want to spoil anything, but it was nice not knowing their story.

Yeah, I don't know anything.

Because I was shocked.

Maybe added to a list of things, like, I'll say no, and then I will, you know?

It's only six episodes.

I just went, I was shocked by the way things went.

Oh, wow.

It wasn't just like Boy Meets Girl.

Right.

June and Johnny Cash.

Oh, June and Johnny Cash are another one.

Yes.

June and Johnny Cash.

There's so much of that in country music.

It's nice.

It's like a very family genre.

And I'm sure if we thought long and hard about just music relationships, like Beyoncé and Jay-Z.

Yeah.

They're the first lady and president, or she's more the president and first man

of the music industry.

Yeah, and specifically their genre.

Yeah.

Okay, let's just discuss

succession.

I have just like never really felt more disconnected.

Yeah, spoilers.

I have never really felt more disconnected from my generation than I did last night going on Twitter and reading people's thoughts on succession.

About the Emmys, how they'll be walking into the Emmys for this episode?

Literally, people were like, I was in tears.

This is the most profound acting.

This is the best show on television.

I was really shocked because I was really frustrated watching last week's episode where nothing happened.

And we're like, it was like, maybe one thing is going to happen.

And the whole episode, we're on the edge of our seats.

Is something going to happen?

We didn't even find out if something, that thing was going to happen this week.

And, but something did happen.

And the whole time I was just kind of like, he's not.

Yeah.

He's not.

I'm like, this is a prank.

He's testing to see who loves him the most.

I didn't think it was a prank at a certain point.

At the beginning, I did, but then I didn't.

It was weird that they never showed his body.

So I was like,

he's bleeding.

And then I was like, well, they'll revive him.

And this was just like, maybe a way to get the family back together.

But then the fact that they actually did it was like the only interesting thing.

So it's like they sat around the writer's table.

They were like, we're going to kill Logan.

And we're going to make you spend the whole episode wondering if he's dead.

Yeah.

And that's going to win us an Emmy.

Yeah, I'm just, I'm not understanding why everyone is so guffawed over this episode.

Like, yeah, no, it was, it was good to see all the kids like finally be human.

Yeah.

But that's not an Emmy make.

But like you were estranged.

And those people on the plane, like even though they're like, they, they care about the business and they're there to work, like they worked for Logan and they supported him over the years.

And you made his last year a misery.

Yeah, no, I

just

was not feeling anyone or anything.

And like Connor, everyone was pissing me off.

And I don't know why they didn't show us his body or face.

It was very

Bart Bass.

Like he's coming back.

Yes.

I literally, and like the only one who went up to see his body is Roman.

And like Roman knows that he's still alive and there's a whole that's like so not this show.

I know, I know.

It's not a soap opera.

It's based in realism, which is a lot of people.

I appreciate it.

If only it was a soap opera and dramatic things happened.

Yeah.

Instead, we're now like, so the only thing that's happened this season is that Logan has died because the first episode with the

Pierce acquisition, null and void.

Everything that happened in that episode is irrelevant now.

Second episode, Gojo, will they, won't they, back out?

It's irrelevant now.

Because you know what?

Now, if they want to back out of the deal, the kids have to go and ask that guy for more money when literally that guy called Kendall and said, you will not get another penny out of me.

And Kendall's been knowing that.

And Kendall sent his dad to Switzerland,

knowing it was a moot point.

They also can't buy Pierce without the sale.

So they're not going anywhere.

It's so dumb.

So now the show is about, did you watch that like coming up?

Now the show is about who is the new CEO?

Oh, and that was the question in episode one when Logan had his health scare.

So in four seasons and one whole year, you never figured out who's going to succeed Logan.

And no one is up for the task.

They need to bring in outside help.

There's really not one character I unequivocally like.

No.

Except Colin.

Connor.

Colin.

The driver.

The driver.

And he got one scene and it was like actually really sad.

That's like his friend.

And like, I just, I felt sad for him.

Besides that, like, I, and I know this is going to be a hot take because everybody loves him.

I fucking hate Cousin Greg.

Like, he's so inept.

I just, I hate everyone.

And I know.

The show is like satire.

I get it.

I don't like it.

But it's not.

Like, I know people say that, but it's not because, like, satire is really funny.

And I know that, but, like, no one's laughing when you're watching.

Maybe there's one good joke every episode, but you know who's making the joke?

Logan.

Yeah.

And now our comic relief and any sense of like

smartness is gone.

Everyone else is so fucking dumb.

Yeah.

And even the people who work for Logan, at least they have like, you know, business savvy,

but they're all just like scared of what's gonna happen.

That scene with Carrie was odd.

Well, she was weird when she was like

smiling.

But they were just happy to be rid of her.

Yeah.

No, and they were being funny

about her.

But it was just weird.

Like, why was she smiling?

I have no idea, but like she's irrelevant now.

And I do acknowledge that there's a lot that goes on in the show, like in terms of business and then just in terms of like writing that definitely goes over my head.

I like don't understand this show.

No, do you watch the subtitles?

Of course.

Then you'll understand.

And here's what here's what you need to understand.

Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.

And everyone speaks like that.

Yeah.

Whoa, is it

in play?

Because everyone's always nervous all the time.

No one is cogent except for Logan.

I just,

I've come to dread the show.

No, and now without my only character who I liked,

I'll finish the season, but I'm not watching it week to week.

Is that okay?

Oh, wow.

I just, I, last night was painful for me.

Yeah.

And I was really tired and I wanted to go to sleep.

It was a painful episode.

And Ben, who watches with me, but doesn't know much, I like to explain, but he doesn't know the backstory.

He's like, this show's terrible.

I'm like, no, I know.

The plane.

He was in the bathroom.

And when Tom was like trying to convey at first what was going on, it was so painful.

How do these people reach these levels?

It's because that's when they can't speak.

Communicate, yeah.

It's a good question.

So, but let's just give predictions.

Who do you think takes over?

Matson.

Oh.

That would be like unexciting, but yeah.

Like, no one, it's not going to be one of the kids because they're each dumber than the next.

And the only one who's smart is Roman and Shivan Kendall will never let him

succeed them.

Yeah.

And then none of the worker bees, Jerry, Carolina, Hugo, Carl, whatever.

Hugo.

It has to be an outside force.

Tom thinks he's up for it.

I know.

So does Greg in some weird capacity.

Who do you think?

I don't know.

There's no like obvious choice.

No.

They're all inept and they're all like just dumb and annoying.

I like hate the show.

Hate.

Yeah.

I don't know if I hate it because like when you start to hate something, like you always have a way of making me then hate that thing.

But like I think I hate it because it's bad.

No, last night was.

I just don't know if I'm so influenced by my older cool sister who's like always smart, you know?

She's so sweet.

But no, you would have hated last night regardless.

Horrible.

Torturous.

I'm happy Connor got married.

Yeah, me too.

And you know what?

It's nice.

It is.

Is it great?

No.

Is it good?

Yes.

It's good.

It's good.

You can't expect to be like so happy in every part of your life, you know?

No, and like she's growing to love him.

Yeah.

And she's really supportive of him.

Yeah, and she just feels, and they have like an understanding that, like, yes, he has money and like she's craving that sort of stability, but you learn to love the one you're with.

Yeah.

It's nice.

It is.

It's not like anyone else has a relationship.

So true.

Okay, well, that's our show.

That was a succession recap.

That was your TV recap sandwich.

Your TV recap sandwich.

It was stuffed with lots of meaty TV recaps.

So meaty.

Make sure to keep an eye on the toast Instagram today because I will be posting the schedule.

We have four guest co-hosts.

Audi works really hard on the schedule, so I didn't want to let her know how I was doing it.

I was bothering everyone I knew to get like good people.

So just keep that in mind.

Is there a day in particular you're excited for?

Don't say who, but just a day.

No.

They're all like equally good, honestly.

Interesting.

Yeah.

I'm excited to watch.

So Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I am in studio, video, and audio with all of my guests.

So make sure you're subscribed on YouTube, following us on Instagram.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show where we deliver the best stories and you need to know everybody on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have a great day.

Happy Monday.

And we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.