The Great Simon Powell with Ben Soffer: Friday, April 7th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Friday.

Oh my god, it's

Friday, Friday.

Gonna get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend, Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday.

Wasn't she just in the news?

Didn't something happen to her?

Rebecca Black?

Yeah.

Are you keeping up with pop culture again, Ben?

No, I'm just like, I remember seeing her name and it was negative.

Oh, no.

I guess this isn't that helpful.

I don't remember the story.

Well, that's okay.

Because Ben is here today, which is so exciting.

If you're watching on YouTube.

There's kind of like something crazy happening.

Like, we added a second camera.

We're trying something new.

So if you hate it, let us know.

If you like it, let us know.

And if it sucks, we'll never do it again.

But we got another camera.

We got new curtains.

I wanted to, you know, shake up the studio.

And Jackie's not here to tell me no.

So I'm doing what I want.

It's anarchy over here at the toast.

Jackie is not available today, but her loss is our gain because Ben,

Ben,

then.

I'm just saying, it really is.

Her loss is our game.

Yeah.

I'm so viral.

You're so.

The second that you clip this and it goes on TikTok.

Like, if you look at all of your TikToks, the ones with me in it, to the moon.

Actually, the ones with Jackie in it, like always go to the moon, but you too, for sure, for sure.

To the moon.

What do you think it is about you that has that viral quality?

I don't know.

What an interesting question.

I think that maybe I just bring out a different side of you.

You definitely bring out like a more,

what is the word?

You definitely bring out like a more

sassy side of me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I definitely get like a little more stressed when we podcast together because I'm doing stories and I'm doing ads and I'm just like,

let me take the load off.

Give me the, give me the iPad.

No, no.

I could.

No, that would make me more stressed.

It would?

Yeah.

And it must be so fun for you.

Like you just get to sit and chat and be like the funny guy everybody loves.

Totally.

But like, I can take the stress off.

I can do it.

No, you can't.

No, no.

But it's okay.

I can.

My God, he's been podcasting for what, a month?

And he thinks he could do my job.

By the way, a month.

Literally, we're at the University of Miami.

We're here doing a wonderful speaking gay, you and Jackie.

She turns to the audience and says yeah ben's doing so great good guys 14 episodes

31.

sorry i did one month i six months i did reference the good guys in our panel um because we're always talking about how you know people are always asking like how do we start a podcast and what are your biggest tips and i think a lot of people say like if you haven't started a podcast you're too late it's too late for you and i think the good guys are a great example that it's not too late if you have quality content you guys in the beginning you had some audio issues you worked through them then you got your videos up so if you have quality audio, quality video, and quality guys,

it's not too late.

And that was, I know you're focusing on the part where I said you only had 14 episodes and you actually have 30.

Sorry, I don't count every day.

But it was a compliment.

Or listen or watch.

Excuse me, I'm your number one fan.

Are you up to date?

No.

What was the most recent episode?

I definitely missed it because I know you told that story about

when you were a teenager and you watched porn with a friend and you ran home and told your mom.

Yeah, that was very, very, it's a great, great story.

Yeah.

Check out Good Guys in case you want to.

Hey,

let's get some Good Guys tea because what was it yesterday or no, two days ago, you were here in our studio recording a remote episode with Josh with a very premium guest who I'm a really big fan of.

Good guys is getting premium guests because Josh is just a celebrity.

I know.

Isn't that crazy how famous he is?

No, he's so famous and all of his friends are just famous friends.

So tell everyone who your guest was.

So Tana Mongeau was just on the show.

She's amazing.

She was just like really smart and like an entrepreneur, mogul.

Like the way that she has navigated this like OnlyFans business, like you'll hear about it more in the podcast, but she owns her own OnlyFans agency.

Which like represents other OnlyFans.

Yeah, it's amazing.

It's really smart.

It's amazing.

She's starting a weed company.

Starting a weed company.

And she's just a very, very interesting gal.

And we really enjoyed talking to her.

Also, just like quick spoiler.

We like just amazing guests.

Can I talk about some of the other guests?

Coming up.

Coming up.

Let's tease one at a time.

I think it's good.

Like, let's get everyone excited about Tana.

I have to give one more.

No.

But I already started talking about it.

Wait, I can't even remember.

I know you told me yesterday.

Don't say it.

Don't say it.

Don't say it.

You told me yesterday.

My Josh got blank for good, guys.

Oh, I'm not going to talk about that one.

Oh, okay, fine.

There's a lot of them.

No, don't.

Okay, fine.

Give one more.

One more, John Stamos.

Oh, of course, because Josh and John Stamos are like best friends.

Everywhere you look.

Yeah,

Do you ever feel FOMO since like a lot of times you live in New York and the guests, sometimes you're in LA to record with them, but sometimes you're remote.

And then do you feel like left out of the conversation?

No, because I make sure to insert myself in the conversation.

Love that Frio pound.

But

I do wish that we could be in person together doing it every day.

It's just so much easier.

Yeah, because

this is so easy.

I know.

I'd say you get about 50% of your episodes in together, which is good.

Yeah.

Because I'm constantly traveling to California.

God forbid Josh comes here.

Totally.

Is that like a...

Get off your keister.

Is that like a point of contention in your relationship?

No, because like he gets Tana and John Samos.

No, totally.

And the Dear Media Studios are like so pretty.

They always look so good, the episodes.

Amazing.

Yeah.

Amazing.

But like nothing beats this studio.

Actually, like a lot of things beat this studio.

We're a little fucked over here.

I think this is an amazing studio.

We'll see how this episode turns out.

I'm like very nervous about like our new camera, our new setup.

We did get new curtains.

Thanks for noticing.

Do the curtains match the drapes?

Don't be disgusting.

This is a family show.

You could spew disgusting things like that on your own show, good guys.

Over here, we are a family show.

We have a lot of kids who watch with their mothers.

This is a nice show.

Even though today we got like a crazy vaginal story that I can't wait to tell you about.

By the way, apologies if I sound like I'm sick.

It's just my augmentin' just coming back up the throat.

You know, I had a sinus infection.

Now the sinus infection seems to be cured.

But I just gotta say, modern medicine, you take too much of it, all of a sudden, it makes you more sick.

That's true.

Antibiotics.

What's it called?

Rebound?

i don't know but rebound whenever anyone i know is taking amoxicillin i share with them a story that nobody listens to me and you have to learn the hard way it's the same with like the notovirus yeah when you are taking a lot of amoxicillin and you're sick and you're not eating like you will have the craziest diarrhea and stomach pains unless you're taking a probiotic so whenever anyone i know is taking amoxicillin i tell them get a probiotic and people don't listen to me you didn't listen Speaking of diarrhea, should we talk about last night?

Yeah, it's not about us, you guys.

That was dyslexic.

Oh my God.

So we literally woke up at, we went to bed early at like 11.

We woke up at like 1

a.m.

to a crying sound and it was Bruno.

And Bruno had the craziest, smelliest, most liquidy diarrhea all over our carpet.

Like my God, Bruno, you couldn't have done it on the heart.

Like, we had to throw it away.

We threw it.

We literally threw our carpet away in the middle of the night.

And I was torn between feeling bad for him and wanting to kill him.

I felt very bad for him because any

diarrhea that smells like that.

Like

I always think people are so dramatic.

People always say, oh my, oh my god, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh my God, I'm going to throw up.

That was like, shut up.

You're not.

That was you.

No, I know, but like, shut up.

You're not going to throw up.

Like, nine times out of ten, every single time I've heard that,

I'm going to throw up.

So dramatic.

This, oh my God, I was going to throw up.

Like, this is the smelliest.

You know what?

I think you might feel differently once you start changing diapers.

Like I have, I've changed Tyree's diaper many times, Michael.

I've changed all the kids' diapers.

And every now and then, the kid eats something that blows it up.

And it is so putrid, and you're so close to it because the baby's up on a changing table.

It will change your stance on this.

It will.

Is there something that we can invent

masks the smell?

Or is it like just like a clip?

It's called breathing through your mouth.

Nah.

Yeah, it's very effective.

There's got to be something.

When you go into like a men's room in like a kind of gross public, maybe like a bar, do you breathe through your nose?

I like to ask really kind of deep and thought-provoking questions here at the toast.

I mean, yeah.

Unless it smells like shit, then I try not to.

No, you breathe through your mouth.

I always breathe through my nose.

Oh, so you obviously haven't mastered the task of...

No, it's like breathing through your mouth.

Breathing through your mouth is just like...

Whenever I go into, I feel like everyone, whenever you go into a public restroom that's like smelly, you can get away without smelling it.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Well, so

you haven't mastered the task of breathing through your mouth.

That's what you should have been doing last night.

It's possible.

So were you breathing in through your nose the whole time when you were wiping up the shit?

No, I was not breathing at all.

I would wipe up the shit.

I would exhale.

I would take a towel,

smell into the towel, get a deep breath, go back to the shit.

One thing about us is that when we're podcasting together, like we will end up talking about shit.

It's me.

I know, but then sometimes I think, like, sometimes with Jackie, like, I'm always talking about poop.

Like, maybe it's us.

Jackie hates when we talk about poop.

Sorry.

Sorry, she's not here to yell at us.

Sorry.

Poop, poop, poop, poop, poop.

Didi, duty, duty, duty, duty.

What do you call duty?

Like, what's your go-to word?

Pooh, duty, poop?

For humans, it's shit.

For children, it's numero dose.

For dogs, it's number two, right?

What did I say, Theo made a.

So you're bilingual.

Yeah, what do I say, Theo made a?

Oh, you're so bright.

I think, yeah, number two.

Numero dose.

I say,

I like ubiquitously.

Dump.

Dump.

I ubiquitously use the word duty.

I use the word dump.

Duty is such an underrated word.

It's good.

I also feel like how you refer to,

we have to stop talking about shed.

I'm sorry.

But I just want to say, like, how you refer to poo

is really indicative of like how you were raised.

Because I feel like every family, like, what did your mom used to say?

Number two.

Number two.

Okay, so we grew up in a duty household, and that's why I always say duty.

No.

I always say, like, I have to go make a duty.

No.

Okay, I'm changing the subject.

I'm changing the subject.

What's new with you?

What's new with me?

Just getting over this cold.

Being a mogul.

Trying to be a mogul.

It's day three of no bread for Passover.

By the way, I hope everyone had an amazing Passover.

I'm definitely struggling.

And this is more than I've struggled.

Or I usually struggle like day four or five.

I'm like, you know what?

Are you struggling?

Oh my God, I'm so hungry.

And like, nothing is.

You're getting more food.

I know, but like, what?

I can't eat any of the things that I love.

That's the thing.

Matzah Pizza, which Ben makes like Italiano.

It's so good.

It's the only thing getting me through.

But like my favorite foods, foods, bagels, pasta, pizza.

You can do all those things with matzah.

Matza.

It's a pasta.

So by the way, you love grilled chicken.

You can still eat it.

You love grilled salmon, sort of.

You could still eat it.

You love grilled chicken Caesar salads.

You could still eat it.

The hard part for me, to be honest, is the rice.

Because like I can't have rice.

And yes, I love grilled chicken, but you know what I really love?

Grilled chicken and rice.

You could have rice.

No, okay, so this is actually like a little kind of deep Jewish history lesson.

Rice and corn and barley are called kineot.

And technically they're not like leavened, but there's two different kinds of Jews.

You're either Sephardic or Ashkenaz.

Ashkenaz Jews hail from more like Eastern Europe, whereas Sephardic Jews hail more from like Middle East Arab

nations.

Arab lands.

Arab lands like Morocco, Syria.

So

we are not of that descent, but Sephardic Jews who are of that more Middle Eastern descent, they can have kinney oats, so they don't even feel it.

They're over here having rice and churn and sushi, sushi.

And we're over here eating matzah pizza.

And I just want to say, it's not fair.

And I'm thinking about doing like ancestry.com just to find like a deep, dark Sephardic relative, because I think I'm going to start converting to Sephism.

You could do it anyways.

You can eat rice.

I'm not going to lie.

Isn't it just the rabbis at this point telling us what we can and can't eat?

But at the base of it, it's just

no leavened bread.

Right.

And then we added all these little things to make it more complicated.

The story of Passover is: you know, our people were slaves in Egypt for 400 years.

And then Moses was like, I'm taking you guys out of here.

Let my people go.

So we were rushing to get out, rushing away.

And we were trying to make some snacks for the road because, you know, we're Jewish.

And we were trying to make bread, but we had no time.

The people were coming for us.

So we just grabbed the bread before it could leaven in the oven.

And it was kind of like this nasty consistency.

It hadn't risen so it was like a cracker.

And that's what matzah is.

It's unleavened bread.

And

that's really what we're supposed to just survive on.

And so I understand why we can't eat leavened bread to commemorate what our people went through, but like our people didn't even have rice.

Like why the fuck did you have to bring that up?

Rice wasn't even being spoken about.

Because this is the Ashkenaz rabbis taking it too far.

I think they wanted to make it, they want to make it harder for us so we can really feel the pain of our people.

And I respect that.

I do.

It's just, it's really hard.

Then why isn't there a fast?

Good question.

That's your Jewish history lesson of the day.

When Moses was in Egypt land, let my people go.

It's also shocking to me how few people who aren't Jewish haven't seen the film The Prince of Egypt.

It's so breathtaking.

It's so moving.

And it features one of the most iconic moments in pop culture history.

A duo, a duet between Mariah Carrey and Whitney Houston.

What's that song?

I forget.

Can you look it up?

What do they sing?

What's the song?

It's in the end.

I think maybe they played in the credits.

It's really beautiful.

It's deeply moving.

And I think

you will when you

believe.

And Pentatonics actually has a cover.

And you know, I like kind of hate Pentatonics.

They have a cover that is so beautiful, it will move you to tears.

I think Marin Morris is on it too.

So that's just like a fun fact about, you know, the film.

If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend that.

Are there people that haven't seen a Rugrats Passover?

I think that that's just like a classic, like the kids saw it.

There are people.

That was a kind of an amazing thing that Rugrats did for us.

Unbelievable.

Rugrats was such a popular show at the time.

Everyone was watching it from all different backgrounds.

And they did a big special explaining Passover for kids.

And it was so cool for us.

So cool.

And I just want to say thanks.

Yeah, thank you.

I thought Thank you, Rugrats.

I felt seen.

Me too.

Me too.

Thank you, Rugrats.

Really seen.

Thank you, Rugrats.

We have great stories today, actually, because we haven't done a show since you and I did one on Tuesday.

Tuesday.

So we have a lot to catch up on, and there's a big story that I'm actually going to start with because I know how much it means to you.

Yeah.

So I think it's time.

What are you doing?

What?

That you need to know.

Before you take a bite out of your morning toast.

Oh, by the way.

I get it.

I know.

Morning toast bite.

That's why you eliminated it.

On Tuesday.

Beat the crunch needs to come back.

How about we'll keep it a tradition that whenever you're here, and because you're always so busy, you have like so many meetings.

We have to record so early today.

It kind of is morning toast.

So how about whenever you're here, we'll do it, okay?

Fine.

So here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning

toast.

I don't know.

That was tight.

Vote in the comments.

I don't know.

Vote in the comments.

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All right, are you ready for our first story that is really going to make you wet your pants?

Please.

I'll give you a clue, okay?

Oh, wait, hang on.

Didn't we say like 10 minutes ago when I said something that this is a family-friendly show, but now I'm wetting my pants over a story?

What's wrong with wetting your pants?

It's a family-friendly show.

Who wets their pants more than kids?

Gotcha.

You thought I said cream your pants, which I didn't.

You did.

Okay, here's its clue for our first story.

You ready?

Yeah.

I don't know why I'm like, hold on, just be quiet.

What do you think?

You'll be just fine without me, but you're mine.

You think you can kick me out of the band?

And then, Zach, you come in with the

face milk.

Don't fuck it up.

Well, there's just one problem there.

The band is mine.

How can you kick me out of what is mine?

All right, we have some School of Rock news, and I don't think there is a show on the internet that is more obsessed with School of Rock than we are.

Obsessed.

And like, have we spoken about the time that we saw it in theaters for my friend Liord's birthday?

That was, I actually think we have, but just in case we have it, because, you know, my memory is not the best.

During COVID, people did not take advantage enough of the fact that you could rent out an entire fucking movie theater for somewhere between $90.

It was $99.

$99 for an old movie or $199 for a new one.

Oh, yeah.

But you didn't have to see a new movie.

You could literally choose a film because most theaters wouldn't open up to like sell individual seats.

But if you were at a party, you could literally rent a theater for $99.

30 people.

It wasn't the height of COVID, but it was still very much like things were a little murky.

And your friend Lior rented a movie theater for his birthday and chose School of Rock to watch.

Everybody brought, we brought like alcohol, snacks.

We brought the Taylors.

It was like a free-for-all because there was such a big theater and there was only like 15 of us.

We brought the Taylors.

We like packed a cooler.

It was so much fun.

And he, that was probably one of the better birthdays in COVID.

So fun.

Yeah.

$3 a person.

Three bucks.

Well, it's not $3 a person.

What, 30 people?

No, I know, but Elliot, I mean, not Elliot.

Leo just paid the $99.

Yeah, but I'm just hosting it.

I'm just simply sharing.

And the concession stand was open.

Yeah, it was.

Which did hike up the price.

It did, it did, but so worth it.

Okay.

I actually remember that.

I remember that thinking, wow, this is such a great, like easy, cheap, fun birthday, get to the concession stand.

I spent $200.

I know, but that's you.

Yeah, it is me.

But I think it's everyone too.

No, but I have problems with that.

I just end up buying snacks for people.

You have it.

No, that's not your problem.

You're not too.

I'm generous.

No, you over-order.

No, no, no.

But it's a lifelong problem.

It's both problems.

I overorder for myself, but I'm also far too generous with the snacks.

I will give you an example.

I spoke about this on Good Guys, but was recently in the Bahamas.

We spoke about.

Wait, can I say one thing, just as kind of a podcast mentor to you?

Since you're so frequently on the toast, especially this last couple of weeks, you've just been on a lot and you have good guys, I think it's important that you not be so repetitive because a lot of people who listen to this listen to good guys.

So I just, that was just like my piece of advice.

Like, before you repeat something, make sure it's worth it.

So, what should I do?

Yeah, continue.

You want me to leave?

You're so funny.

Continue.

I'll say it quickly.

Bahamas airport, really hungover.

Foot-long quiznos,

egg and cheese.

And I just wanted You told this story on the toast, too.

I did.

Yeah.

Finish it.

No, I can't.

No, finish it.

Whatever.

I got a lot of Starbuck snacks for people.

Move on.

Okay.

I told this story on the toast?

You did.

It might have been on Patreon, but you've told it because I heard it.

I didn't tell it on the toast.

Yeah, you did.

I remember we were sitting in Jackie's studio when I heard the story.

Patreon.

Yeah.

Fine.

Okay, ready for this story about Jack Black?

Yes.

Jack Black has confirmed in a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight that he is planning to reunite with his younger School of Rock co-stars later this year to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the comedy's release.

Various cast members have reunited over the years, but it sounds like Jack Black is plotting an epic reunion to celebrate 20 years of School of Rock.

Here's what he said.

All those kids, dig this, they were 10 years old when we made that movie, and now they're all like 30.

We're going to get together and have a 20-year anniversary.

We like to jam.

I'm looking forward to seeing all the grown-ups from School of Rock.

He added that he will 100% use social media to upload photos and videos for the, oh, from the upcoming reunion.

School of Rock,

directed by Richard Link later and written by The White Lotus.

Oh, I didn't realize it was written by Ned Schneebly.

I did.

Oh, I just thought he's had such an interesting career.

And you know he's a creator of White Lotus.

Ned Schneebeely.

You want to know something crazy?

Ned Schneebly was in School of Rock, and I think he had like a kind of, you know, not exciting, but like, you know, decent career.

But things tapered off for him.

And he went on Survivor, that show.

And he had this cult following from the show.

He had like an epic season.

I've never watched it, but I know it's like a historic season.

And he was like a real star in it.

And he had this huge following from Survivor that really helped him get White Lotus off the ground.

And now he's literally the darling of Hollywood.

Everyone wants to be in next season of White Lotus.

And I didn't even know that he wrote School of Rock.

I mean, it makes sense.

He's obviously like a talented like creator and writer more than just being an actor.

Yeah.

And Ned Schneebly was a terrible character.

I know.

It was crazy that he wrote this amazing movie and cast himself as the most annoying human being on the planet.

Actually, sorry, Sarah Silverman was the worst in that movie.

I I don't know.

At least Sarah Silverman stood for something.

Like, Ned Schneebly.

She stood for being annoying as hell.

She was a narc, but like, at least she had, you know, principles that she stuck to.

Ned Schneebly was so wishy-washy, spineless.

Who is the teacher again?

Joan Cusack.

Amazing.

Mad.

She's got to be in the reunion.

I love Joan Cusack.

We were just talking about her the other day on the toast.

Like, where is she?

What's she up to?

I'm just saying we have a direct in here because Josh and Miranda Cosgrove are friends.

You have to get Miranda Cosgrove on the podcast after she does the reunion, not before.

No, we're doing it before because of iCarly.

Oh, yeah.

Her and Josh are both on the iCarly reboot.

Spoiler alert.

Okay, well, it sounds like this reunion is not going to be like a production.

It's going to be like an actual like high school reunion, like everyone getting back together.

It has to be a production.

No, he says, like, I will definitely share on social media.

I know, but now that...

Now that there's so much hype around it, somebody's going to come in.

He will upload photos and videos from the upcoming reunion.

It sounds like it's just like a get-together, probably at his house.

What the fuck?

I know.

I love Jack Black.

He's probably like one of the best celebrities.

He's the best.

Like, I feel, like, there are people who are so universally famous and so down to earth, but also, like, probably the biggest, like, I would consider like one of the greats right now of like Dwayne Johnson.

Yeah.

Because he's in a lot of kids' content.

So, like, everybody loves him.

And I think I would put Jack Black on that level too.

He's the best.

I love him.

He's the best.

Multi-talented.

Yep.

No, you guys share something in common, both singers and comics.

Yeah.

Tenacious D, he's a big singer.

You don't know Tenacious D?

His band?

No.

Oh my God.

Are you even a Jack Black fan?

Not as big as you.

Oh my God.

Come down.

He literally has a band called Tenacious D.

Yeah, and there's a movie, Tenacious D.

Really?

Uh-huh.

It's like a whole musical movie.

But see, that's what's you're right, like about Jack Black.

Like the fact that he's in School of Rock, which is one of the greatest comedies of our time, and he has like this illustrious comedy career, but he also tugged at the heartstrings in the holiday, which is a cult classic in the rom-com genre.

Shallow Hal.

Shallow Hal.

We quote Shallow Hal every day.

Hey, now she's getting into my Clam's Casino.

That movie's so good.

Iconic.

Iconic.

Yeah.

Costanza's in it.

Tony Robbins is in it.

Gwyneth Paltrow, of course, my queen.

That movie could never get made today because it's definitely problematic, but I choose not to care or see it.

Why is it more problematic than Love is Blind?

Because Love is Blind is not blind when you don't cast one fat person.

I've been saying that for years.

It won't be interesting.

Like, I think the first season had like really interesting conversations, especially with Lauren and what is his name?

Lauren and Blank Hamilton, who are still married, because they were talking about how he was white, she was black, what would her family think about that?

What would have, like, it presented an actual obstacle for them.

Her dad was very trepidatious.

Like, it was an actual obstacle.

When you just cast like average-looking people who all look the same, like, it's not interesting.

I want a fat, I agree.

I want a fat person in there.

I cannot wait for the School of Rock reunion, although it does, it is like a little bit of a misleading headline.

It's not like a friend's reunion.

That was a great reunion.

I need it taped.

I need it taped as well.

Should we just sneak in?

Totally.

It'll be at probably Jack's house because he's like probably so rich.

Yeah, I could go to Jack's.

I mean, there's so many underrated stars in there.

Miranda Cosgrove, Joan Cusack, Ned Schneebley, Sarah Selferman.

I cannot wait.

Any other underrated stars?

Oh, very sad, though.

You know, recently, Freddie, the drummer, he passed away.

Oh, I did hear that.

Yeah, that's really sad.

So hopefully they'll like, you know, commemorate him or something.

Freddy was great.

Yeah.

Resting peace.

Just such a good movie.

Unbelievable.

Great for for kids and parents.

I agree.

I agree.

It's the type of movie that actually gets better the older you get.

Whereas a lot of things we like romanticize in our heads and then we rewatch it as adults.

We're like, that really wasn't that good.

But School of Rock stands the test of time.

It actually gets better the older you get.

Same with high school musical.

Debatable.

No, you're wrong.

You don't give it a chance.

Debatable.

No.

The originals are great.

What do you mean, the originals?

That's what I'm talking about.

No, like you watch all this crap, like the new version.

Okay, I haven't watched that in years.

I'm talking about high school musical one, two, and three.

One is good.

Three is the best movie you'll ever see in your life.

I just.

I want the rest of my life to feel just like a

high school music.

Cool.

I know that scene gives you goosebumps.

Really?

I just like.

I really do want the rest of my life to feel like a high school musical.

Hmm.

Don't you?

Deep.

Yeah.

Everyone should.

Exactly.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Yes.

A little bit more potential, not really, reunion news.

Apparently, according to Daily Mail, Liam Payne is desperate for a one-direction reunion to relaunch his career, and he's trying to get in contact with his former bandmates.

So Liam Payne is reportedly desperate for a one-direction reunion.

The pop star 29, who was in the group with Niall Horn, Harry Stiles, Louis Tomlinson, and Zay Malik, has been trying to get in contact with his former bandmates.

It comes after Liam recently reunited with Louis at the premiere of his documentary, which was called All of These Voices, in London.

The source said that Liam is desperate to get back on the road with the boys.

His solo career hasn't remained as successful as he hoped it would, and work has become stagnant for him.

In contrast, he can see how well Harry is doing, and he'd love that level of stardom for himself.

Okay, who wouldn't?

Maybe.

Yeah, you know what?

I'd like the level of stardom that Amy Schumer has.

Like, we all want things, Liam.

Get in line.

Get to work.

You're far closer to Schumer, in my opinion, than Liam is to Harry Stock.

Such a lie and so nice.

Thank you.

I completely forgot that Liam even existed.

I know.

It's like, if you would have asked me, I'm always saying, if you would have asked me when the boys broke up, like, who would have the biggest career?

I would have said Harry.

That was like, it was always, it was never a question.

He really was the biggest star and he was so beloved by the audience.

But if you would have asked me, like, who would be struggling this much, I would not have said Liam.

He was like, at least vocally, top three.

He was a favorite.

I would be shocked if you told me that Niall Horn would be having the second best career, second to Harry.

It just didn't pan out how I thought it would.

Niall Horn is killing it.

Killing it.

We were watching the Masters yesterday.

He was like on, like, talking about the Masters.

Oh, yeah, he's a big golfer.

How he like shot an 81 at Augusta, which I'm going to need to see like some proof.

Well, he's Irish.

It's a hard golf course.

Isn't golf like a huge thing in Ireland?

Yeah, but it's also a huge thing in the United States.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And And shooting an 81 at Augusta is just like so good.

Such a hard course.

Yeah.

And they like got it ready for the masters.

So the course is playing masters level.

Yeah, that's all.

Regardless, he must be amazing.

He must be amazing.

Or he must be a liar.

Or he's a liar.

Yeah.

I'm going to lean on amazing.

One like fun fact about Ben and I that definitely makes me feel like we're better than other people is that we had the opportunity to see one direction live at MetLife and not only was it incredible, they also were opened.

The opening act was five seconds of summer.

And we weren't even five seconds of summer crazy fans yet, but we went for the opener.

And I think that really ignited our love.

It did.

And then we started to follow them around to like weird venues across this country.

No, five seconds of summer, like

what their manager did to that band.

I agree.

I will never, ever forgive it.

I don't think that.

They had a chance to be the pop punk Gen Z.

Phenoms bring back like they could be Blink 182.

Yeah.

Instead, they went down this like weird road with like trying to be alternative, trying to be mainstream.

You don't have to be mainstream when you're awesome at something.

Let me say how I actually don't think it was a management issue.

I think like

A, they went through like a really bad scandal where that, that one of the members, Michael,

was like had really kind of disgusting and terrible accusations against him about how he treated underage fans like very inappropriately.

So that definitely rocked the boat.

And

they were very much like doing what they wanted to be doing.

Like any music they were putting out, like was very much a band's decision.

And they were young and they were growing up and they were like going through different phases.

So I think they started to put out music that wasn't like, but it was still really good.

Young Blood.

I was just about to say.

Young Blood was the problem.

But that was their biggest song.

No, their biggest song was, You Look So Perfect Standing There.

In my American Apparel Underwear.

Yeah, like, or Black Heart.

Cause I've got a jib, Blackheart.

And there's a hurricane underneath it.

We got to rock out with our cocks out soon.

We do.

To five sauce.

We do.

We went to Jones Beach.

I got Claudia third row.

This was probably like six years ago.

I was the only guy in the entire arena.

Only guy.

We were the only adults.

It was literally a concert for 13-year-olds.

And the reason we got third row is because the tickets were like $25.

It was so good.

It was so good.

We were rocking out so hard with like all these kids around us.

Yeah, unbelievable.

And I think that's also where they struggle.

They had this like teeny bopper fan base.

Great.

Grow up with them.

Who just like weren't into it for much longer?

They wouldn't.

Because they changed their tune.

It's also important to know they're an Australian band.

So their success in America was like never, that's not their main beat.

Really?

Yeah.

So interesting.

I know.

Like when they do tours, they usually do Europe.

Like maybe America is an afterthought.

They're not like an America first band.

Australia is so interesting.

I know.

I'd love to go.

It's just so far.

I know.

I can't do that.

So much amazing shit goes on in Australia.

I mean, the toast is huge in Australia.

Australia toaster, show yourself somewhere.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.

Aussie.

And have you ever seen the movie Arlington Star Seal?

Oi, oi, oi.

Oh, I didn't know that, dude.

Does any help?

Do you know?

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.

Oi, oi, oi.

I don't know if that has to do with Australia.

Like, whenever I try to do an Australian accent, it turns Russian.

Try.

G'day, mate.

How you doing?

I don't know.

Can you do it?

G'day, mate.

That was pretty good.

Yeah?

Okay, now you're going into like...

G'day.

Like Slovenian.

G'day, mate.

How you doing?

Now Now you're just southern.

The only way that I know how to do it is that our friend is Australian and she calls me Bane.

Yeah.

No, she's not Australian.

She's from New Zealand.

Sorry.

And she's a toaster.

Shout out, Maya.

By the way, Australia, New Zealand.

It's very offensive to do not say that.

Really?

It's very problematic.

Actually, I guess that's like somebody saying

Canada.

And by the way, we don't claim.

No, no, we're huge in Canada.

Don't say it either.

No, by the way, I love Canada.

I can't wait to return.

Viva, Canada.

I love Canadians too.

But fuck Canada.

Wow.

Okay, on Tuesday episode episode.

Let me say that.

On Tuesday's episode,

you,

what's the word I'm looking for?

By the way, the Canadians will respect why I don't like Canada.

Okay.

I don't like Canada because every single day I get probably 200 DMs bring Spritz Society to Canada.

And I want you to know that your government makes it impossible for anybody to bring beverages to Canada, which is why you have none of your favorite drinks.

None of them.

And if you do have them, they're double the price price because your government is the mafia on beverage.

No, by the way, that's a fair critique.

But Canadians love them.

Natalie.

Oh, our friend Natalie is in Montreal and Montrealan.

No, and like Canada is so Jewish.

We love the best.

The best.

Canadians come over here all the time.

We're like their like vacation destination.

It must be so fun to like have like a like a nearby country be America.

Even though we have like our problems and stuff, but like it's so lit.

It is lit.

Actually, Canada's pretty lit too.

Like Montreal is so fun.

No, and I haven't seen enough.

I want to go to Vancouver.

I hear Vancouver.

You have?

I have been.

Do you have a show in Vancouver?

Wow, that's pretty cool.

Yeah, it didn't sell well, so I didn't return for N-Log.

Sorry.

Yeah, but like, we'll find another place.

But it's just interesting.

Like, another place in Canada to try next.

Yeah, there's very beautiful parts of Canada.

Yeah.

Vancouver is closest to Seattle.

Yes, I drove from Seattle, or maybe it was Portland, I forgot.

No, Seattle, to it was three hours.

Cool.

Yeah.

Very cool.

What were we talking about?

We were talking about

let's go backwards, because that was Five Seconds of Summer.

Oh, One Direction.

Liam Payne.

Yeah.

So he wants the band to get back together and of course he does.

And just a reminder, Liam Payne wants to be as famous as Harry Styles.

That's what we were talking about.

Yeah.

And that's like makes him so different.

Like nobody wants that.

Yeah.

I mean, it's definitely tough to like have been at that level of fame with five of your like friends and to

year after year like kind of become more forgotten.

And not only that, out of all of them, like Liam's solo career has become kind of like a meme on the internet, especially TikTok.

There's like all these videos of him that went viral, like doing meet and greets.

Like it was, he kind of got parodyed and his solo career has very much like become a joke, which is tough when you see Harry Styles winning Grammy for Album of the Year.

Was it Simon Huck who put them all together?

Simon?

Simon Huck.

I'm cracking up.

Simon Cowell, yes.

Simon Huck.

Simon, you are just on my brain.

Simon Powell, who put them all together?

Simon Powell, yes.

Cowell!

Cowell!

Simon Cowell.

Yes, it was.

X Factor UK.

Do you think he still gets like some money from them?

From One Direction, yes.

And that was a part of why they were so unhappy.

That happens a lot.

I think people got hands in their pockets.

No, it's like when you get famous on a show like that,

when you sign up, you are agreeing to these crazy record deal contracts that if you get a record deal after.

That's what I think.

Broke him up.

No, no.

That's what I think Philip Phillips, who had like the number one song for a really long time after he won American Idol, home.

What?

Simon Huggs, Simon Powell.

Yeah.

I was trying to make a point, but like, whatever.

That you get stuck in like really bad contracts after you're on those shows.

Suddenly.

Yeah.

But they're not still.

I mean, even though I do think Simon Cowell makes residuals off of One Direction's catalog of music still, for sure.

What a visionary, though.

Yeah.

See five individuals pushing together.

One direction.

Simon Cowell is who he is for a reason.

He is who he is.

Before we continue with the rest of the stories, let me let everyone know that today's episode is brought to you by the Perfect Bar.

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All right, are you ready for our next story?

Oh, excuse me, no.

I was literally holding it in for the ass.

Oh, no.

You're welcome.

Oh, no.

You're welcome.

I was holding it in.

Ready for some TV news?

Yes.

That really nobody asked for?

Courtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are sharing an inside look at their new wedding Hulu special.

So

I know I did say that weird.

Wedding Hulu special.

Courtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are giving fans an inside look at their luxurious wedding day in Italy in a new Hulu Hulu special.

The streamer announced Tuesday that the couple will release Till Death Do Us Part as an expansion of the famous families, the Kardashians.

They said, this is our personal archive footage that we are sharing with the world.

She says it in the trailer as footage of her and Travis that was of footage taken on their wedding day plays.

Can you believe we got married three times?

She adds, referring to their Las Vegas nuptials, their legal Santa Barbara court ceremony, and then finally their Portofino bash.

It's like choosing a child.

I can't pick the best one, Travis says.

So they're basically getting their own spin-off, which is just going to be like a limited run about their wedding.

It does feel like

one, like who cares?

And two, Courtney has spent like the last three years on the Kardashians complaining that she doesn't want to film.

She wants boundaries, especially like around her family, her kids, which is totally respectable.

So this kind of feels like a money grab.

It just feels like really kind of not to sound like such a troll, but like it feels so inauthentic.

Like,

come on.

Yeah.

And they got married so long ago.

I feel like so much has happened in the family since then.

It just feels kind of dated too.

Not to be like such a naysayer.

Yeah.

I agree.

That's it.

That's all you have to say.

No.

Are you like a big Travis Barker fan?

Yeah.

I mean, I love Blink 1802.

I'm just here thinking, like, they had three weddings and we were invited to none of them.

So true.

You had three opportunities.

I really always forget, like, there seems to be a disconnect in my brain that, like, Travis Barker, who I know now as a Kardashian, who I know as like a

legendary drummer.

I forget that he is also, where are you?

And I'm so sorry.

Legend.

Like, that doesn't compute for me in my brain.

Yeah, legend.

I don't know why.

Because he came into your world as a different type of person.

What do you think is the best Blink 182 song?

Oh, that's so tough.

Ooh.

Maybe first state.

Are they Dear Maria Calman?

No.

Who's that?

Oh, God.

There's a story at the bottom.

American Hi-Fi.

American Hi-Fi is she's just the flavor of the week.

Who sings Dear Maria?

I mean, I'll.

Oh, God.

No, no, this is embarrassing.

Okay, I won't tell you.

Let me know if you can think of it.

Dear Maria, count me in.

There's a story at the bottom of this bottle, and I'm the pen.

So much easier to just talk.

Oh, my God.

You're going to like, you're going to be mad at yourself.

I know.

Just tell me.

All-time love.

Ah.

Yeah.

Damn it.

But what do you think is the best Blink 18 song?

I told you.

What?

Damn it.

How does that go?

And first date.

How do those go?

Like, you have to sing them.

Pick it up on our very first date.

Is it cool if I hold your hand?

Is it lame if I didn't want to dance?

Is that the chorus?

Like my stupid hair.

Let's go.

Don't wait.

This night's almost over.

Honest.

Let's make this night last forever.

Forever.

And this night,

this night that lasts forever.

In like any sort of dream world, like if you could have been anything at any time, would you have wanted to be like a singer of like a punk band in the 90s?

Is that like your dream life?

I think that would have been awesome.

I don't know.

Like you just like, the more you learn, the more.

It was dark.

Yeah, you just like, I'd probably be addicted to drugs.

Yeah, it was a very dark time for a lot of people.

You like, you only see like the good.

You don't see like the

trauma.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, you're right.

That's actually a really good way of thinking about it.

Cause I always say like, I love my job.

I have the best job in the world.

But if I really could be doing anything, like I would really want to be a singer.

Like, a pop star drinking.

You could be a singer.

Like, when I see Taylor Swift, like, out here doing the Eras tour, like, I'm so sorry.

Why can't you be a singer?

We talk about this all the time.

I know.

I have too many things on my plate.

Just sing.

No, and the thing is, like, I know I have a really good singing voice, like, not to be annoying.

Like, I know that I do.

But I am better.

I am a stronger podcaster and comedian than I am a singer.

You could do both.

Singing too.

Shout out to Allison Kay.

Sign her.

No, I know.

Let's do it.

I know.

Let's do it.

You could do it.

I know.

If I had your voice, I would do it.

I can't.

My voice stinks.

Wow.

Finally, you admitted.

Okay, today's show was a success.

Okay, sorry.

Stinks in the realm of like having a career singing for the average Joe.

It's pretty good.

It's pretty good.

Yeah.

It's pretty good.

So if you could be a lead singer of any band, which one would you, what do you think is like the greatest punk?

I would either, this isn't punk, but it would either be The Killers,

Fallout Boy, or Blank.

Those are my three.

Blank?

You don't, you dropped the 182?

Yeah.

Okay.

You had a problem with that?

No, no.

Do you always say Taylor Swift, or you just say Taylor?

I pretty much say Taylor Swift.

Interesting.

Considering you are literally the nickname maestro.

No, okay.

You literally call people nicknames.

Okay, wait.

So

you don't even know them.

So if you're so into nicknames, why don't you just call the killers the.

I'll call them killers.

I'll call them killers.

You call them just killers?

No, I wouldn't.

Because it doesn't work.

But like the killers, wow.

Yeah, I feel like of those bands, I probably would want to be the lead singer of the killers because they have the most longevity.

Fallout Boy is like, I don't think they're together.

They had a resurgence.

They're together.

They're together.

They're playing at...

What's that?

The Stiltour?

I think they're playing at that.

Is it Vans?

Come again?

There's like a Vans off the wall, like crazy in Vegas.

Oh, I don't know.

That's so Fallout Boy.

Yeah.

They're like invented Vans.

There's something.

But yeah, Pete Wentz.

I mean.

Legend.

I'd I'd love to be Pete Wentz.

Yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't love to be Pete Wentz.

I'd love to be me in Pete Wentz's position.

Job.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, well, Courtney and Travis have a new show coming, and if you care, I think you should watch it.

Yes.

Okay, so there were some dating rumors going around that I think you might find interesting, but now both people have come out and said it's completely not true.

Tom Brady and Rhys Witherspoon

are not dating and apparently have never even met.

I saw this.

Their reps have told Page Six explicitly the stars are not romantically involved, nor have they ever met.

We're told that rumors that the newly singled duo have their eyes on each other are completely false because shortly after Rhys split from her husband of 12 years last month, an anonymous tip who used an email address.

Oh my, that's so funny.

Legallyblonde at patriotsbuccaneers.com claimed to Dumois that an A-list actress who just announced her divorce is newly dating this A-list NFL athlete who was also recently divorced and people put the clues together.

So I just think it's further

proof that you really need to be cautious about what you consume in terms of internet anonymous gossip because yesterday dumois posted a blind that shook the world down about kylie jenner did you see no said that kylie jenner for a few months has been dating timothy chalamay and people were shook because timothy chalamay is so the opposite of her type he's like very and was it not true we don't know but now everyone's accepting it as true and everybody accepted this tom brady and reecee witherspoon thing as true all you got to do is read the comments on instagram to know if something's true or not what do you mean Like, I love when it's not only page six, it's all of like, there are other versions of page six, but you'll go, you'll see some crazy headline, and it'll say, click the link in bio to read the full story.

But I'll just go to the comments and somebody will sum it up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's like so funny.

I saw that exact one where it's like the headline.

Rhys Witherspoon dates Tom Brady.

I'm thinking to myself, what the hell?

That's so strange.

And I go to the comment section.

It literally, what I would have clicked on to read was

a source close to the two have said they've never met.

Yeah, no, that's not.

Like, how is that a headline then?

Yeah, I actually feel like that's a good point.

How, like, in the Instagram comment section kind of like fucks with e-news or all these publications because they say, click the link in our bio to read the full story, and you can get a summary of the story in the comments.

You never got to click it.

It actually happened to me yesterday.

It was a little bit embarrassing.

There's an account that I follow called Zire Golf, amazing, like golf account.

And there was this video that was posted.

out of context, and I should have known better, where it looked like Colin Morikawa, amazing, amazing golfer.

Amazing.

I don't know where he's ranked right now, but amazing.

It looked like he moved his ball.

He's on the green, and it looked like he cheated.

It looked like he cheated.

Ooh,

he moved the ball.

Yeah.

Looked like he moved the ball.

That's a big deal.

It was a big deal.

So I commented, how can you be so stupid to do that on television?

Right.

Like I get when guys cheat, like when nobody's watching.

Oh, but there was more context.

Yeah.

Oh, did they rip you to shreds?

They roasted me.

But I'd say 99% of people just liked liked it, thought it was funny, and agreed.

But then like these golf book

nerds below are like, did you even watch?

He was replacing where it was.

Wynn pushed it.

Legally allowed to move it back.

And so it just goes to show that if you don't have the full story, try and get it before you comment.

I actually have a similar embarrassing sports comment section story.

When we were in the playoffs with the Niners and we were just like both, you know, really being supportive of the 49ers,

they were playing the Cowboys and they commented like, who's ready ready for next week in Dallas?

Like they posted something on Instagram.

And I was like, yeah, we them boys.

Like, that's what me and Jackie always say, like, we them boys.

We making noise.

And apparently, that's Dallas.

That's like the Dallas slogan.

Who knew that?

Everyone's commenting, get a job.

That's their favorite thing.

Oh, my God.

If I never hear that again, it'll be too soon.

It's so annoying.

How can you comment on golf if you're unemployed?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, oh my God, it's so, every time I comment on pretty much every single Luke Homes

post, and he posted the other day, like, out of these two songs, which should I send as my next single to Country Radio?

And I commented a third different song.

I want you found yours to be it.

Commented, what do you know?

You don't even have a job.

No, it's so stupid.

Shut up.

Also, like, people in person, like,

they'll come up and they'll say, oh, congrats on Spurt Society.

It looks like you found a job.

Oh, by the way, that is like the go-to, mostly for like older people who think it's like a really funny original joke.

When it comes from like a friend's parent, it doesn't bother me.

But like, when it comes from somebody somebody who's like actually like knowledgeable and young and like understands the landscape, it looks like, oh, you have a call, but you don't have a job.

Shut up.

So dumb in like any press.

It's like boy with many jobs.

Oh, yeah.

No.

Whenever you do an interview, so it's like, you're actually pretty busy for a girl with no job.

It's enough.

It's enough to make me change the handle.

Enough.

It's enough.

Enough.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story that, like I said previously, hopefully will make you wet your pants?

Yes.

It's brought to you by Thrive Market.

Thrive Market is our go-to for all of our grocery and household essentials, and the convenience of getting it all quickly shipped to our doorstep is a huge time saver.

So, when you become a Thrive Market member, as Jackie and I both are, you can save money on every single order.

On average, we're saving over 30% every time.

So, of course, they offer massive savings, but they also have a deals page that changes daily.

So, you can get cash back on so many brands, and they have a price match guarantee.

They also are a great place just to discover new brands.

I feel like I used to be very rigid in terms of what I ate.

You know, I'm very picky and I just order the same stuff and I get the same brands.

But Thrive really made me comfortable to like branch out and I have fallen in love with so many brands for food, but also for like house supplies, cleaning supplies, things I need for the house, things I need for Theo.

Not only does Thrive Market save us money, but they also save us time.

The filters on their website, there's over 70, are really helpful.

So whether you're looking for gluten-free snacks, non-toxic cleaning essentials, you can basically curate your own shopping experience experience with the click of a button.

So when you join Thrive Market, you are also helping a family in need because they have a one-for-one membership matching program.

So you join the program and they give a membership to a family in need, which is fabulous.

So you can feel good about getting fabulous things for your home, helping others in need, and it also is just shipped right to your door.

Join Thrive Market today and you'll get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift.

Go to thrivemarket.com slash the toast for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift.

That's T-H-R-I-V-E-Market.com slash the toast.

Thrivemarket.com slash the toast.

Jackie is like now at a place where she's getting like three Thrive Market deliveries a day because she has like, you know, a child to feed and she has this big old kitchen.

And every time I'm on FaceTime with her, she is unboxing a new Thrive Market.

It's crazy that when you said cash back, my brain immediately, when I hear the word cash now,

if you need long-term payments and you need cash now.

Call J.G.

Wentworth, hate seven, seven, cash now.

It's crazy.

Such a good song.

Unbelievable.

For our fifth and final story, I have like a crazy human interest story that I think you're going to find really interesting.

Interested.

A gynecologist has revealed the most shocking thing he's found inside a vagina.

A gynecologist in Honduras was flabbergasted to discover

a cockroach lurking inside a patient's vagina.

So Dr.

Marco Callix, who is an OBGYN based in Teguchipalpa, told the jam press about the unlikely likely infestation.

She said she had something unusual in her vagina.

The doctor described how the unnamed patient who hailed from a rural part of the country arrived at his clinic extremely restless, agitated, and sweaty.

She explained how she'd been having trouble sleeping due to something extremely strange in her vagina.

A subsequent inspection revealed the shocking culprit behind the woman's discomfort.

When I introduced the speculum, I could see that it was an insect.

In fact, I had to take out something like a cockroach.

This marked a first for the seasoned doctor who had previously discovered everything from condoms to sex toys inside the female reproductive organs.

It's yet unclear how the kucaracha was reportedly, who was reportedly dead before he removed it as a dead cockroach, managed to end up down under.

However, the organ exterminator site states that cockroaches tend to prefer dark, moist places to hide and breed, and they can flatten their bodies to fit into narrow areas.

I just feel like that last part, the New York Post did not have to put in that they preferred dark, moist places.

No, it was definitely intense.

Is the story over or can I comment?

You please comment.

I mean, talk about giving women another thing to worry about.

no but it's also crazy like cockroaches don't die yeah i know how did they die how did it die cockroaches can survive the nuclear bomb that's what we've been told yeah i mean we don't know because no but isn't it crazy that we all know that why do we all know that i don't know i feel like that's like one of those things yeah and like is it even true they also say that cockroaches were like alive during like dinosaur years were they oh yeah cockroaches are They're like crocodiles.

They will outlive us all.

Cockroaches, crocodiles.

Crocodiles?

Alligators are like...

I don't know if it's...

What's the difference between a crocodile and alligators?

Amazing question.

I have no idea.

I think it's based on where they live.

Alligators are...

They won't call them dinosaurs, but they're dinosaurs.

What?

They've been around forever.

Wait, I didn't know that.

Yeah, isn't that crazy?

They've been around since the day of the dinosaurs.

Yes.

Fact.

I, like, don't believe dinosaurs were real.

I mean...

Is that like a hot take?

It's just a dumb take.

Oh, is it?

Okay.

We have the bones.

No, I know, but like, they could have like faked it.

All the bones?

I just refuse to believe there was a time where, like, literally the biggest animal, like, three times the size of an elephant, which is currently...

What's the biggest animal right now?

An elephant?

Oh, a whale.

Yeah.

So dinosaur was as big as like a great white.

Think about how big these sea animals are.

Yeah, I guess this is.

And don't put me down this rabbit hole.

No, I know.

Because I'm just saying we have not even begun to scratch the surface of exploring the seas.

Yeah, no, you're right.

And what could be in those seas?

Could be like a freaking animal the size of the Empire State Building.

That's true.

Who knows?

That's true.

Who knows?

But what was the story?

Oh, the cockroach.

The cockroach.

I mean, I feel like I've heard stories, even people I know who have gotten like, you know, tampons stuck in their vagina.

He said sex toys condoms.

I've heard that.

I was really not, when the headline was, cynecologist reveals craziest thing he's done.

I was not expecting it to be a cockroach.

And now I just, I feel like we live in New York.

There's so many cockroaches.

I have to really, I have to have my legs stone shut.

Where was she?

Where was she from?

Oh, he was from Honduras and she was a patient who came in from like a really rural part of the country.

Makes me sad because she was probably like sleeping with cockroaches.

No, she was probably really uncomfortable for if he died in there.

Like, I'm saying,

in order for a cockroach to get up your nether regions, you need to be, I would assume, infested, yeah, right?

Which is sad.

It's actually a sad story.

Very sad story.

I'm glad she got the help she needed.

Yeah, me too.

And I hope he didn't lay any eggs.

Oh, I didn't even think about that.

They said dark, moist areas is where cockroaches like to lay eggs.

Oh, my God.

Terrible.

Ugh.

Yeah.

Terrible story.

Also, like, are there, why aren't there more female gynecologists?

I feel like...

There are a ton.

There are?

Like, I would say...

Are there more than men?

I don't know statistically, but I have to imagine that more than half of gynecologists are women.

It just makes more sense.

You'd think that they'd know more about their own nether regions than what you could read in a book.

I definitely think, you know, men and women can both do equal things, but like when I'm picking a gynecologist, like I'm picking a woman.

I'm actively avoiding men.

My gynecologist is a woman, and the whole practice is women.

So it's like she's out.

I, okay, I'll see one of the other women.

Makes sense to me.

Excuse me, your uncle is a gynecologist.

Correct.

And he's a great.

Didn't he deliver you?

No.

Definitely not.

I guess that would be weird.

Like

for him to be like in your mom's.

Yeah, that would be very weird.

Yeah.

I'm just saying.

I wonder how that goes when you have a gynecologist in the family.

Did

Uncle Jeffrey deliver any of your cousins' babies?

I don't think so.

Hmm.

Because I guess it's like a little personal.

I think so.

Maybe I'll have to have Uncle Jeffrey on the podcast to ask him.

Yeah, we could.

Yeah.

You could.

Cool.

Yeah.

What were we about to say?

No.

Nothing.

Male gynecologists.

No, I was just saying that, like, I think it's like

a little weird.

I definitely think it's a suspicious choice.

Yeah.

A little weird.

For sure.

A little weird.

If you could become any.

I feel like I keep making the stories and being like, if you could be in any band.

If I could be any kind of doctor?

Yeah, what kind of doctor would you want to be?

Huh.

Am I financially motivated or am I...

You're all things motivated.

All things motivated.

Take into account money, everything.

Hmm.

What kind of doctor?

I like the idea of like a really,

really high-profile surgeon

that does.

There's a lot of pressure.

I know, but you not only make a lot of money, but you also like save lives.

Like how cool is it to be

a doctor?

Yeah, well, I would have 100% success rate.

Oh, okay, in this fantasy land.

Okay.

I would make sure of it.

Yeah.

I would have my own jingle.

like i feel like kind of a low pressure doctor job is like a dermatologist i feel like nobody dies on the dermatology table you know that's true but dermatologists are also

no if you're like a cosmetic dermatologist and you do like botox you make a lot of money no i'm not saying that i'm just like i kind of think of them as like

dentists and oh and like and like joe biden well okay let's talk you upset a lot of people on the show on friday i did yes there were two things you said and one of them i actually agree with people the first thing you said was you weren't giving nearly enough hype to lsu It was like such a big deal.

They won.

Like a lot of people were interested in.

Got it.

So let's start there.

Yeah.

Go LSU, LSU Tigers, Shaquille O'Neal, love Shaq.

Love, he went to LSU.

Kim McKay, who also was the coach.

Yeah.

She also went viral.

So we both were wrong in saying that everyone was only tuning in for Caitlin Clark.

No, no, no.

Sorry.

I did not realize that that was the gripe.

Everyone was only tuning in for Caitlin Clark.

Go LSU for sure.

Statistically, unless you guys don't like statistics, if it was a non-Caitlin Clark

national championship, it would not have broken these records.

She was the one who went viral on TikTok.

She was the one who dropped back-to-back 40-point games.

She was the one who had like the, is having like the greatest career in the history of women's college basketball.

People tuned in for Caitlin Clark.

That said, go LSU.

So you stand by what you said?

It's a, there's nothing to stand by.

It's statistics.

And then the other thing people were a little miffed by was you saying, one, that dentists aren't real doctors.

And I think people...

They're not.

And I love them.

No, I think people probably misunderstood what you said.

Like, you're still a doctor of dentistry, but it's like if you're on a plane and you need a doctor, the dentist isn't standing up and saving any lives.

That's exactly right.

Right.

And then people were also upset that you said a PhD is not a real doctor.

And those people need to get a fucking rip because you can't be a doctor of math.

That's exactly.

You can't be a doctor of math.

Yeah.

And also save a life.

They just need a, it just needs to be be a different word.

I agree.

Having a doctorate in something is

like, I need a doctor.

You can't do shit.

That person's not going to do anything.

It's a huge accomplishment.

I don't know why it's the same word.

Yeah, you're not an authentic DC.

Why Rob Skeller?

And, you know, Dr.

Drake Ramore are both doctors.

That was a good.

It's weird.

It's weird.

It just is misleading.

So you're just making enemies left and right every time you come on the toast.

How does that feel?

Good.

Good.

Good.

Keep talking about me.

Thank you so much for being here.

I love podcasting with you.

And this was our last show of the week.

Hope everybody got through the week okay without the toast, but we're back and we're back on Monday.

So we love you dearly.

Thank you so much for listening to the toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we just love the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up and let us know what you think about this new setup.

Hopefully you like it.

I don't know what it looks like yet.

We're also available as a podcast and where podcasts can be found.

So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IR Red Cast box.

All of the places where you listen podcasts, find us the toasting the backstar review about a beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented.

We are.

Hope you guys have an amazing weekend.

We'll We'll see you on Monday.

Happy Good Friday and Easter.

Oh shit.

Oh my God.

I'm so like self-involved as a Jew.

Happy Good Friday.

He has risen and happy Easter.

Wishing love and light.

And I think it's also Ramadan.

It is?

Yes.

It's kind of like a big month.

Happy Ramadan.

It's a big month.

for all the religions.

I was just going to say, if you need...

No, it's not Ramadan, but I think it's coming up because I saw on my Google calendar it said I'd

so wishing well

to everyone.

Yes.

Happy everything.

Have a great weekend, and we'll see you on Monday.

Bye.