Lighten It Up With Malala: Monday, March 13th, 2023

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Monday.

Hope everyone's having a fabulous day.

Fabulous, fabulous.

And speaking of fabulous, it's the most glamorous showstopping girl I know, my co-host who was holding it down here in the States for me this last week.

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

Dern good.

Thank you.

Speaking of fabulous, it's Turdy's sister because

Turdy and her other sister, there are so many, it's so confusing, were so fabulous this weekend.

We are all dying to hear about your weekend in Lisbon.

By the way, so...

It's worth mentioning, I could not this weekend pronounce Lisbon because.

Because,

same for me, because.

Jackie and I, you know, as a part of our business, we use a lot of different platforms to upload podcast things.

One of the platforms we use, and we actually only recently started using them, is called Libsyn.

And when we first started using this platform, we couldn't say it because it's obviously Lisbon.

But now we're so accustomed

to saying Libsyn that when I got to Lisbon, I could not say it correctly.

It was a culture shock for a podcaster.

It was a culture shock for a podcaster.

So pardon while I, you know, I kept just saying Portugal because I could not say Lisbon.

Of course, of course.

How was Portugal?

I went to Portugal on Wednesday.

I, for those who don't know, my friend Brian, who has been on the show many times, it was his 40th birthday, and he was

celebrating like this big milestone.

Honestly, I didn't know how big he was going until we got there.

Is that because he didn't tell anyone or just because you just assumed it was going to be something and then it it was something else?

He did say he's like, I'm going all out.

I'm going all out.

But it went above and beyond what I could have imagined.

It was, it was basically, it was four days, three nights, and every night was a wedding.

Like, it was insane.

The first day was like a big welcome reception, this big dinner.

He took over this beautiful restaurant that was like a palace.

And then the second night was, he rented out this castle and it was, it was literally a wedding.

It was a dance floor, a stage.

He had performances.

The third night, he took over this club where we did like a roast.

And then it was just like this rave.

It was so

beyond my expectations.

It was amazing.

And I have to say, my expectations, I've never been to Lisbon, and it really wasn't a place I ever planned on going.

So my expectations were low for like the city itself.

It was amazing.

First of all, like Lisbon itself is so cute.

It's like so quintessential Europe, the cobblestone streets, the cute little shops.

Like it was really beautiful.

Like these hills, these hills, I could have, oh my God, I could have died.

But it was so beautiful.

So I was already like overcome with,

it's true.

Sounds like you picked up a little something, something.

No, no, no, I'm fine.

I was already like, you know, my expectations were

high?

No, what's the word?

Like beat?

Oh, exceeded.

Exceeded before anything even started because I was really so blown away with how cute Lisbon is.

Like people don't talk about it.

Now I understand Brian is like a, he has a visa.

He's becoming a permanent resident there.

Like, I totally get it.

It's so cute.

That's so awesome.

Tell me about the roast.

Who was the best?

Okay.

Who roasted him?

So he had a road, one of the nights, like it was a roasted Brian.

Such a good idea.

Such a good idea.

He told you, like, nothing was off limits, really.

He said, you could say anything you want, tell any story, but just don't talk about Dean, his son.

Which is

like, fair rule.

I'm like, you don't even have to tell us that.

Like, we're not going to talk about it.

We're not talking about it.

Just shut out your son.

So the third night, he took over this um it's a it was a gay club but they had this really great stage for drag queens so we used that stage for the roast brian sat up on stage i hosted the roast i roasted brian and then he had five people roast it was his best friend from high school his college roommate taylor strecker john me and then at the 11th hour like the night before brian's former business manager adam was like can i please roast brian i'm like it's not up to me it's up to brian so brian was like yeah of course and they worked together he just retired but they i think they worked together together for 15 years.

And Adam has been waiting for this day his entire life.

He, his was so long.

Everyone got five minutes.

He must have been up there for 15 minutes, but he said everything that he needed to say.

He went so hard.

He went so deep.

It was, he was far and away the best.

Like, and he was so unexpected too.

Like, he wasn't even supposed to do it.

That's so funny.

It was hysterical.

It was actually a great idea for a birthday.

You have to be really strong.

Like, I could never.

No, I can never.

You could never.

But he must have been really good good for you to admit that he was the best and better than you.

Oh, he was better than me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, he was amazing.

Amazing.

And then the night before that was like the main event, which was Brian took over this castle that was so beautiful on the beach.

It was like a 30, 40 minute drive.

You pull up.

It literally, it was Game of Thrones.

Like it was this, it was King's Landing.

It was this huge castle.

He took over the whole thing.

It was this beautiful sit-down dinner with performances scattered throughout because the entire party was seated at like this big, it was about 100 people, and the tables were set up in like a semicircle around this big stage.

So, first came out the star of this Broadway show that's on, I told you that you would love it, Titanique.

She's really like this world-class Celine Dion personator, and so she sang Celine Dion, and she did like little stand-up.

It was so funny, great.

That was appetizers.

Then, entree was Shandala, who, if you don't know, she's like one of the biggest stars come out of Rupa's Drag Race.

She was just on Dancing with the Stars.

And she, um,

what's so crazy is like she went home home like so early on an old season, but like she just stayed in the franchise and then she came back on all stars and she's really, she's amazing.

And she did like a bunch of Beyonce and then we had dessert and then came the main event, which nobody knew.

I didn't know, but nobody knew.

So like when they announced like next performance is going to be Kim Petrus, like when I tell you the room, which was mostly gay men, Jackie, they were not okay.

They were not fucking okay.

Screaming, screaming.

Kim Petrus came out and gave such an unbelievable performance.

I am obsessed with Kim Petrus and have been doing like my homework since I found out like a month ago that she was going to be the performer, just making sure I knew all the words to all the songs.

She was incredible.

Her voice,

she's like, she is going to be like an it girl pop star.

Like she was so amazing.

Her songs are so good.

Her vocals were so good.

And she was so cool.

Afterwards, like, you know.

She could have left, but she stayed for the party.

And I just have to say, like, major shout out to

the toaster nation that is everywhere because Kim Petrus' assistant was the biggest toaster.

So like, I got to meet Kim.

We took pictures.

We hung out at the party.

And like, I like to think it's because like Kim knows my work, but mostly it was because her assistant like was like, she's the toast, like she's a big deal.

And it was like shout out Toaster Nation, like saving lives everywhere they go.

I spent literally the whole night meeting with Kim Petrus.

Like I peaked.

I literally peaked.

And headline news.

Not one, but two of your arms were out.

Oh, yeah.

By the way, this was like a crazy weekend for me because one of the nights nights I literally wore a strapless dress.

My arms have not seen the light of day probably since the sixth grade.

They were looking really good.

I felt good.

I got a spray tan, which always helps.

Did you have more fun because like you weren't as hot?

Jackie, that's what I wanted to come on here and say because on Saturday night I wore my arms out and on Sunday, oh no, Friday night I wore my arms out and on Saturday night I wore my hair in a bun.

It's liberating.

And those are two things I vowed to never do.

But it's, you know, the year of yes.

We're saying yes.

And the way my night was so different because of it.

My arms were free.

I was dancing, dancing, dancing, nonstop dancing, DJ, dancing, performance, dancing, screaming.

And I wasn't sweating.

And I'm always sweating.

But because my arms were free, like I was just lighter.

And then the night that I wore my hair up was the night of the roast.

And the roast was in this like really like small, like hot club.

My hair was up.

I didn't even.

Not one, I didn't have to take a shower, not one drip of sweat.

I am obsessed with wearing my hair up now.

I, I can't believe those words are coming out of my mouth.

Like, yeah, I saw some pictures that made me like want to jump off a bridge, but you know what?

I wasn't sweating.

And I feel like that's the payoff.

Like, sometimes I'll see pictures of myself with my hair down, but I'm sweating so much that I hate the picture.

So now it's like, all right, I have my hair up from the side.

I got like, you know, three necks, but I'm not sweating.

So like, it's a, it's a give and a take.

No, and like when your hair is down and you're sweating, like your hair doesn't look good.

No, and you put your hair up anyway.

No, it's not looking, it's not good hair.

It's stuck to you.

It's not doing anything for anyone.

Okay, so added to to the list, Downton Reading, Yellowstone Succession, wearing your hair up, which I've been trying to tell everyone is the key.

Have you?

Yeah, like I wore my hair up at my wedding reception.

Oh, yeah.

And it was the key to having a great night.

It's the key to having a great night.

And I brought my little wax.

And it's a little facelift, too.

Like, you will look more snatched in the face when your hair is up because you have to pull back.

Especially if you do like a hardcore slick.

I had my wax stick.

I was waxing all over the place.

And people are like, oh oh my god she got plastic surgery she looks so different I literally have not gotten plastic surgery I haven't even got my lips done in a while like I only get Botox in my forehead forehead whatever um I have no plastic I looked so snatched it's the bun the bun likes the bun the wax stick is the key to the bun though yeah and just like you know not having postpartum regrowth yeah no the hair i'm not postpartum and i don't have regrowth but i got the craziest little fucking hairs around my ears oh i have those too i've always had a little paeus yeah they just they are what they are.

They are what they are.

Have a bobby pin on hand.

So you know what?

It was an amazing trip.

I'm exhausted.

I really never got on Lisbon time

because we were out so late every night and

I don't even know what time it is.

I'm so disoriented.

I slept through my alarm today.

I'm working on getting back onto American time.

I'm happy to be back in the States because there's no Die Coke in Lisbon.

That's like my one note for the country.

But again, that's just a European thing.

I'm grateful.

I had the best time.

And I felt really good about my outfits and I got such good pictures and I made so many good TikToks.

Like, I had like three or four TikToks that went viral.

Like, I had one that got a million.

Damn, right before the shutdown.

That's, that's like a big, that's like a successful weekend.

Yeah.

No, that, that really is.

And how was our little sister?

I got to spend time with our little sister, which it was definitely giving cool crowd.

It was giving cool, like, we were the cool girls, you know?

I felt like, you know, a bitchy, mean, skinny girl.

That you are now.

I know.

It's such a good feeling.

It's the life.

It was, it was amazing.

Like I feel like pictures didn't even do it justice.

Brian did such a good job, like every detail.

I will say though, Portuguese food is not for me.

I know that probably shocks nobody.

I literally had McDonald's four times because it was McDonald's and they have Uber Eats in Lisbon.

Oh my God, obsessed.

I had McDonald's pretty much every day.

Eventually, I'm not the type of person who like eats poorly and then it's like, oh, I feel gross.

I'm like, no, give me more.

But it was like back to back of literally only eating McDonald's.

I feel like, like, I feel lethargic.

I feel like a gorilla.

I feel terrible.

I know.

It's so real how eating healthy makes you feel good and eating poorly.

Like, that's what it just shouldn't be that way.

We try to tell us all this time.

And until you experience it, like, Zach and I were driving, I was really hungry.

And there was McDonald's.

He was like, do you want to go?

I was like, no, because then I will feel so awful.

Oh my God, like a slob, I feel.

Like, I've got this, like, I need to like make a big duty.

I was had in duty once while I was in Lisbon.

Like that's so me.

You need your seed.

I need a lot.

Maybe if you had your seed and you were taking your seed, you would know what it's like to make a big duty.

But you

don't.

No, yeah, that's, that's definitely coming my way this week, which I'm excited about.

It was amazing.

I'm, I'm so happy to be back home because traveling is so hard, you know, eight-hour flight, but so worth it.

Like really,

such Brian really out like it was next level.

It was beyond what I was expecting.

And I expect expect a lot from him.

It looked amazing.

And then I came home just in time last night to catch the second half of the Oscars, which is like where everything good happened.

Oh, great.

Cause that's what, by the time I turned it off.

So together, we watched the whole thing.

Two Halves Make a Whole.

Two Halves Make a Whole.

We'll be recapping the Oscars story number one.

So I guess we could get into it.

Well, before we do, major shout out.

So while there was no toast episodes on Thursday and Friday, Jackie and I pre-recorded an episode for Thursday.

So if you were missing out on content, you got to hear Jackie and I do a podcast episode on Thursday.

And then on Friday, we were supposed to record, but like I never got on New York time.

I could not make time to podcast.

So I brought my mic with me, but Jackie ended up recording an episode at home with her and Zach.

And Zach hasn't been on the podcast in many years.

Two years.

We did the math.

So they did a major update with Mamerson's and people were loving it.

Like, I feel like I'm about to be replaced.

No, they were just loving

the kid.

Like, I feel like we gave some good advice.

Like, it was just very realistic for like postpartum

relationship.

Yeah.

And yeah, no, it was fun to have him back on.

It was so different from all the other episodes that we've done because like everything's changed in our lives.

Of course.

So it was good to catch up with him.

Everyone, you know,

was able to hear where he's at and where we're at.

And it was really fun, actually.

It was a positive podcasting experience with your husband.

Like really,

I wasn't irritated at all.

Like really nothing bothered me, which is crazy because it always does.

No, like podcasting with Ben is full-blown panic.

Yeah.

What's he going to say?

What's he going to say?

Yeah.

Or he just is like, you know, they do things that are just,

they don't work for podcasting.

Like they'll nod instead of saying yes.

It's like, this is an audio show.

No, totally.

State your answer, sir.

So if you were a Patreon member this last weekend, I hope that came in clutch for you while I was gone.

Thank you guys for giving me the space to take two days off.

Jax, thanks for holding it down.

Yeah, welcome.

And now we're back.

Another gorgeous full week of the toast here.

Another one.

Another one.

Okay.

So without further ado, dido.

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Hearts.

First story, Oscar's recap.

We have the list of winners.

We have our personal thoughts on the proceedings.

I turned it off right after Rihanna's performance.

When did you turn it on?

A little bit before Rihanna's performance.

So we got the whole gamut covered.

Okay, cool.

So here's the winner's list and the categories that you care about because they literally announced every single dreadful category last night and it was so fucking boring.

Yeah, no, there was like a real lull when they were like, you know, of course, you know, people behind the scenes in the movies deserve all the recognition, but like maybe that's like, you know, the pre-show awards because, you know, we're tuning in for the stars.

No, it was so much.

Adapted screenplay, original screenplay, cinematography editing like it was yeah it was a lot visual effects

best picture the big award of the night went to everything everywhere all at once that really was the sweeper of awards exactly when i turned it off i was getting the vibe that um all quiet on the western front was sweeping

no when i turned it on it was like literally supporting actress supporting actor

uh lead actress lead actor it was literally director everything.

Yeah, no, like they wound up sweeping, but from what I saw, like I thought All Quiet on the Western Front was winning everything.

And then I guess they stopped winning once I turned it off.

So they were nominated for 12 Oscars, and I believe they won seven, which is crazy.

Best actor, Brendan Frazier, the whale.

That was really, that was emotional for everyone in the room.

And

it's just a beautiful, I know I did say if he didn't win the Oscar, I would get a Bob, but you know me, I'm always saying crazy things and I'm not getting a Bob, so don't fucking try me.

I honestly thought it was like so not possible that he would win.

That's why I said it.

But with each award, he won the sag.

Like he kept winning them.

And I felt like the Oscars, you know, was always trying to be different.

So he actually wasn't going to win, but he did.

And Claudia, that's beautiful.

I felt like he was going to win.

It's worth noting neither of us have seen the movie still.

No, no.

But I did see last week that it's available to rent on YouTube, which means that it's like on demand everywhere and you could watch it at home.

Yeah, last weekend, me and Ben stayed in on Saturday night.

And like, I put the trailer on on iTunes.

I'm like, let's watch watch this.

And we watched a trailer and honestly, it looks so fucking sad and depressing.

I'm like, I'm trying, I stayed in tonight.

Like, I want to enjoy my night, not ruin it.

I need, you need to be in a very specific headspace to watch a film that sad.

Yeah.

I just feel like if we didn't watch it before last night, like now our odds are even lower.

A hundred percent.

But I do want to watch it still.

I know, I know.

Best actress, Michelle Yeo, everything everywhere all at once.

Obsessed.

Like she's so the moment right now.

Yeah.

She looked beautiful.

Her and Jamie Lee Curtis's friendship is really cute.

And I just feel like everyone who worked on that movie was crying the whole night.

Like, cry, cry, cry.

I know.

It was really sweet.

It made me want to watch the movie because, like, I'll watch a sweep.

Me too.

Except when I went on my journey to start watching Oscar's movies, which I did watch a few, I watched the trailer for that one.

And it so looked like something I'd never want to watch.

It's very Matrix parallel universe.

That's not my cup of tea.

I know, but a sweep

taking a look at it.

A sweep is an endorsement.

And you're the sweeper.

So you should watch a sweeper.

100%.

Best supporting actor, Key Hai Kwan, everything everywhere all at once.

Every time this guy makes a speech, it's like more beautiful than the last one, which isn't even possible because he brings a tear to every eye in the room.

And I'm just so here for the elders winning Oscars.

Like I just have.

Oh my God.

It was the evening of the elders.

I was so thrilled.

People who's like, you know, who either got like really late starts in the business or have been like really, like even Jamie Lee Curtis, she's been in this business for 40 years and she finally won.

Like, I feel like last night was kind of like delayed gratification for a lot of people.

Yeah.

Best supporting actress, Jamie Lee Curtis.

You are all of us, everything, everywhere, all at once.

I could not stop Jamie Lee Curtis.

You are all of us.

But what was so crazy was Ariana DeBose

presented for best supporting actor and best supporting actress.

And she had to announce all of the nominees.

And I was like, Angela Bassett.

did the thing.

I really thought she was going to reference, self-reference the rap.

She did not, which was disappointing, but she still brought her Ariana DeBose flair to the presentation.

They did not kill her spirit, you guys.

No, they didn't, but she did do something that like kind of like annoyed me.

Which was when she announced Kihai Kwan had won,

she like opened the envelope and started sobbing.

And it's like, okay, it's not about you.

Like, just say the name and then like let the person get on stage.

She was like, Kihai Kwan.

Like, stop.

Like, it's so dramatic.

You're not his mother.

No, I agree.

And I don't know of one but i'm not sure there's a clear like personal relationship established like have they worked together

i don't think so besides just like you know having admiration for a great actor i think that's what it is like the enormous respect people have for like you know he was spent time in a refugee camp and to make it all the way to the oscars he said in his speech like that stuff only happens in movies and you know what it doesn't even happen in movies like it's so

wild and i just i don't know that kind of like read me the wrong way it's like being a presenter it's like you're really supposed to be like very it's not about you i really feel that Okay.

I do agree.

So I just like, I found that annoying.

Best animated film, Guillermo del Toro's, Pinocchio.

It made me want to see that any sometime in my life.

Skipping the next few categories to best original score, which is always an interesting category because there were some really good composers nominated, but all quiet on the Western Front one.

Wartings.

Best original song.

So let's talk about all the performances because we...

wait.

No.

No.

Before we talk about the performances, we have...

Did you see his speech?

No, I didn't.

Oh my God, Jackie, you would have cried.

I know I would have.

Jackie, he said the cutest thing.

He was like, you don't understand.

Like, growing up, I loved the Carpenters.

And the Carpenters sing that song.

I'm on the top of the world.

Jackie, he started to sing that song on top of the world, but he made his own lyrics about how he's, you know, so proud to be here and he's doing this for all the Indians.

And he ended it.

And he's like, now I'm on the top of of the world.

It was so cute.

Me and Ben were crying.

Like in that moment, I wanted Lady Gaga to win.

But once I heard that speech, I was so grateful that she didn't because his speech was the cutest thing I'd ever seen in my entire fucking life.

So I was feeling really conflicted.

At the beginning of the night, I wanted Lady Gaga to win because Hold My Hand

is my favorite song out of all of these songs.

When I saw the performance for Not Too, Not Too, did you see it?

No.

It was amazing.

It was.

It felt like I was on a Broadway 42nd Street show.

Oh, glamour, glamour, glamour.

Dancing, everything.

It was ensemble cast.

It was a taste of a movie that I now want to see.

Like, it had everything.

The song was so good and upbeat.

And I was like, I understand now why this song keeps winning.

And I hope that they win again because the performance was so amazing and it was a history-making win.

And then I also saw Rihanna's performance, and I loved the song even more when she sang it last night.

Agreed.

And I was like, oh, this could win the Oscar too.

So it was so interesting how like the performances kind of changed my perception of who should and shouldn't win because at first I was like honestly I don't think Rihanna's really a contender I didn't think the song was that powerful but then like seeing her perform it I was like damn like she was amazing her vocals were on point she looked fucking she looked amazing and then like

I have non-stopped talking about how this Lady Gaga song is the best song literary of the year movie or otherwise and that performance was not for me like not at all I do I love a stripped down acoustic no makeup chaplips version like I love but what the fuck was that like that was not she literally changed the entire song like there weren't even like hints of a similar melody really like hate

by the end of it I came away saying like that was really good I thought she sounded really good and I either she was going through something or she was you know putting on an emotional performance which she does yeah that's your like artist thing yeah but like if I didn't know better I would say oh Lady Gaga's kind of like going through it because she seemed so

she was grasping to this song and when she talked about how it's about like having a a role model or a hero, it was very AC American camper talking about Counselor Snitch.

Like,

I don't know.

Yeah, it was not for me, like, by any stretch.

I was like actually disappointed.

And Lady Dogga, like,

Turdy Lou, I'm going to change your perspective because she wasn't supposed to perform until like literally yesterday.

And so she got together with her peeps and she put on something.

She obviously wasn't going to have, you know.

Oh my God, I literally like am about to reference

something what, Sony?

A line from like, and I'm like, what's what's that from it's from like one of Harry's books oh

what is it brass bands play balloons float high the city looks so grand I know you mean like glamour yeah like the all the um instruments and stuff that like Rihanna had you know she put it together with her peeps from the basement and she gave us a performance and I'm grateful for that and she sounded really good it wasn't the performance I would have wanted to hear but I thought it was still really amazing.

Yeah.

Not for me.

And her red carpet look was maybe my favorite.

Oh, stunning.

Maybe my favorite.

Loved Rihanna's red carpet look too, but her stage look was even

dripping in jewels.

Like it was so sickening.

So

neither of them won.

And instead, not to, not to won, which

is the performance and the speech.

I'm very happy about that.

Yeah, like I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Yeah.

And then a bunch of other stuff won.

Congrats to everyone.

Congrats to everyone.

There was a lot of stars there who,

like Miles Teller and Kelly Teller were there, which was so nice, you know, supporting the top gun, even though he wasn't nominated.

They looked,

there are no words,

visionary.

Yeah, visions.

And there was also like some drama that came out of the night.

First was, you know, I don't know if you saw Angela Bassett's reaction when Jamie Lee Curtis won.

I did, and now I'm seeing all the recaps.

Right.

I don't think it's really fair to judge like what she's thinking based on that moment because, of course, everyone wants to win.

that doesn't mean you're not happy for someone else but it was almost like her look was like she didn't even expect to win like she knew you know i thought she was gonna win i thought she was gonna win too but i also feel like the oscars are like very anti and i think this year more than ever they included a lot of like those big budget not not marvel-y but like Blockbuster, like Black Panther, like Top Gun, popular.

I feel like, you know, oh, you're, you did well in the box office.

Can't talk to you.

Like, they're very artisty.

And I feel like this year more than ever, they really included a lot of those like big budget movies.

So I just feel like they have something against those types of movies, which is why Angela Bassett didn't win.

Yeah,

that's very possible.

I feel like you're, it's less of an Oscar-y role.

Right.

But I also feel like Angela Bassett's reaction to like not winning, like she doesn't need to stand up and cry that J.J.

Curtis won.

Like to me, that is a sign of someone who's not happy.

As opposed to someone else who's just like, okay, I didn't win.

Okay.

Yeah.

Moving on.

Moving on.

Like I said, get this camera out of my face.

I don't need to now act again.

Like I'm happy.

Like I'm so over the moon for this person.

When like, of course, I'd rather it be me.

Duh.

That should be me.

And like, you don't need to stand for everything.

I'm sorry.

I know.

It should be, it should mean something when there's a standing ovation.

Facts.

Facts.

And that when everybody stands, when one person wins, it's because like the whole room is rooting for this person.

Like, if we're just going to stand for everyone, why don't we just all sit?

So true.

And it's like everyone's wearing big gowns and big shoes.

It's like we have to get up every 10 seconds.

Right.

And now I have to get up when I lost.

Like, no.

And so I actually kind of appreciate her just like

just like sitting.

Literally relatable.

What did you think about Jimmy Kimmel as a host?

Oh, I had a lot of thoughts.

I missed the first few minutes of his monologue, but I came in for the rest of it.

And I thought that actually some of the jokes were really funny.

Same.

But the way that he delivered them felt like.

amateur night like he would just do like one joke at a time like and then look around like it really felt like an amateur comedian who was actually delivering decent jokes.

Yes, I agree.

I don't know what he would have joked about if not for Will Smith.

And, like, it's so funny how this year it's like the slap, the slap, the slap.

When, like, when it actually happened, like, you all just sat there, you all did nothing, and you all gave him an Oscar right afterwards.

And that was actually like a fire point from Jimmy Kimmel.

It was, but it's like,

you guys, like,

you're talking to like, yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

So, um,

it was like, I guess, good that he made light of it, but it was also felt like a crutch for every single joke.

There were some other jokes in the beginning that were just like throwaway jokes that I thought were really, that were really well written and funny.

Just he was delivering them like a noob.

I agree.

I thought a lot of the jokes were really funny when he made the joke about, I forget who it was.

I think it was the director.

No.

I forget who it was, somebody I didn't know, how he, you know, he actually didn't get into filmmaking until he was in his late late 40s.

And before that, he was a civil engineer and basically built the roads of LA.

And he's like, it's so amazing that you're one of the greatest directors of all time and one of the worst civil engineers of all time because the roads in LA are abysmal.

I'm butchering the joke, but it was very funny.

I agree.

A lot of the jokes were like really smart and funny.

And I enjoyed a lot of them.

He was better than I thought.

And I was like a big, big hater before.

Yeah.

People are roasting him because he like joked around with Malala.

Oh, by the way,

I agree.

I watched it.

It was fucking weird.

Malala was not down.

She was not down, but like, I don't think that he's like a horrible person for trying to like make jokes with Malala.

Like, she came to the Oscars, like, we're gonna have a laugh.

We're gonna attempt one.

I, no, I agree.

Like, it was definitely awkward, but she, like, made it awkward.

And it's like, well,

what are you doing at the Oscars anyway?

Like, it was like a,

you went, like, you have to dive in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This isn't like the Nobel Peace Awards.

Like, this is the Oscars.

It's entertainment.

We're on TV here.

Like, I'm going to make a joke.

I'm going to throw to Malala.

Do with that what you will.

It was definitely like weird that they wrote a thing to like, you know, joke with Malala because she's literally like an activist who was shot in the face.

Like, I don't know if that's like, you know, the vibe, but she, she should have leaned in, but I don't think she, like, culturally, like, I don't think she knows what the fuck.

No, like, I don't think so either, but I actually thought her answer was like perfect for the question and perfect for Malala because he was like, do you think Harry Styles spit on Chris Pine?

And she was like, I only talk about peace.

Peace.

No, no, perfection.

But like, she looked uncomfortable and everyone around looked uncomfortable.

And he did this shtick where he would like give the microphone.

Then he did Colin Farrell and then he did Jessica Chassis.

And these, you know, actors are going to make it a moment, say the funniest thing they could think of.

And Malala's like, I don't know.

I just talk about peace.

Yeah.

No, I, I,

it, it didn't.

The execution wasn't like A plus, but I think the ideation, like, oh, Malala's here.

Let's have a laugh with Malala.

Like, why not get Malala involved?

Yeah, no, Malala likes to joke too.

She came to the Oscars.

Like, she's not completely anti.

She looked glamorous.

She did.

I loved what she was wearing.

So I

have.

I think Malala thought it was funny.

I hope.

Yeah, I hope she like wasn't offended, but I don't think he, I think he was just like, you know, being silly.

And I think it's a funny concept.

Like, let's joke around with it.

With Malala.

100%.

About like nonsensical Hollywood tings.

Right.

I'm sure Malala could actually use a reprieve from her kind of strenuous work to just some, you know, let's lighten it up.

Lighten it up with Malala.

New podcast.

Literally.

And then the other big drama everyone's talking about that I actually have a lot of thoughts on is the Hugh Grant.

Yes.

I saw that here.

So he's.

On a major network, which was ABC, right?

Yep.

They had Ashley Graham, Vanessa Hudgens, and Lily Singh as their three correspondents.

And they would go back and forth.

Everyone got a new person.

And Ashley Graham had the great displeasure of...

of interviewing Hugh Grant, who I presume wanted to be anywhere else but that podium.

Because, you know, and I'm gonna be totally honest, was Ashley Graham asking like the most, you know, thought-provoking genius questions?

No.

Was Hugh Grant being a fucking prick?

Yes.

So if you watch the clip, he's so disinterested.

He thinks, he literally is standing there thinking that Ashley Graham is dumb.

Like, I know, like, that's literally what's going through his mind.

He rolls his eyes at the end.

He's giving one-word answers.

She's so desperately trying to claw like a four-word answer out of him.

And she just ends up being like, well, what are you wearing?

Like, there was just, she got through all of her questions that should have taken five minutes and it took 25 seconds because he was like, yeah, oh, no, I enjoyed it.

Cool.

Yeah, he definitely was not an easy subject to be interviewing.

But I just wonder, like, if this, if the person doing the interviewing was like an actual host, how they would have pivoted the conversation, you know, because she really asked one question, like, are you so excited to be here?

And he was like, pretty much no.

And then she said, so what are you excited about today?

Like, and it's like, well, he's not fucking excited.

So ask a different question and so and then she went to literally the lowest question on the red carpet which is who and what are you wearing and it's like when the combo when you're clearly talking to someone you need to match their energy and like yeah he was being an asshole but like that's the job of the host is to like find some common ground and like the hosts of your like would do extensive okay research on everybody who's coming through also like i mean maybe it's not on her to see every single movie but he was in glass onion for literally two seconds he opened opened the door.

Yeah.

So my thoughts are very similar.

Like half of me is like, he was a prick.

But then the other half of me is like, what the fuck is going on at ABC?

This is the biggest night in cinema.

This isn't like a pop award show where you can get away with like surface level questions.

Like this is all about art and film.

And what the fuck do you have three non-journalist celebrities doing as your correspondents?

Like what happened to the Ryan Seacrest, Jason Kennedy, Kat Sadler, professional interviewees?

Like, we have a YouTuber, a Disney actress, and a model being red carpet interviews for the Oscars.

Okay, if it was the People's Choice Awards, I love it.

But, like, I kind of understand Hugh Grant's, like, this Oscars, like, it feels like a farce.

Like, it's like...

These aren't thought-provoking questions.

These aren't people who know a lot about the film, the cinematography, like, or who aren't well-researched.

So I did feel bad for Ashley Graham because she was just doing her job.

She was doing that.

And I feel like on a higher level, what the fuck are is the thought process behind these three people being chosen as the official ABC on TV correspondents agreed and I think she did as best a job as she could because she was really sweet and she kept her positivity and like she was smiley and then she just like ushered him off when she like got through the four questions that she had for him but like the problem is that she only had four questions for him in her like rolodex of questions and they were extremely surface level nonsensical questions when you're talking to like this is the serious actors of work right no this is like a really legit thing and so two things can be true.

Like Hugh Grant can be a dick, but I'm, you know, his point wasn't lost on me.

Like, it's kind of like a circus.

What's going on here?

Yeah.

I want to go back to the days, and I feel like E is experiencing this because they've gotten a lot of really negative feedback about Laverne Cox.

And I love Laverne Cox as an actress and just as like a human being, but her questions are like so

moronic.

And everyone's like, what's the story behind your outfit?

That's what she says to everyone.

It's like, what happened to the days of

right?

Like what happened to the days of, you know, every award show, like every network having their people?

Yeah.

Like, and I feel like, yeah, in the digital age, like we've moved into like more influency type people, but there's a lot, like, I feel like Kelty is such a great, like, Kelty's one of those OG

interview entertainment tonight.

Like, she knows everything about everyone.

She reads those binders for weeks on.

Yeah, he's going to study day and night, but when you have someone who's like a model or an actress or has other jobs, like it's not their primary job to like know all of this stuff.

So then they show up, they have probably the thing in their ear and they have, you know, they have the briefs, but you need like extensive knowledge to be able to pull questions out of thin air with people who don't want to give you anything.

It's not an easy job.

I think people think it's so easy.

Let's put our favorite celebrity in there because they have fun conversations.

But like there's a reason why this is a profession.

And yes, most of the time people are able to conversate and you can have fun and like a celebrity is, you know, giving more, open and giving you more than you expected.

But like you're trained for moments like this and they're not trained.

Agreed.

Hashtag bring back the journalists.

Like I don't know what every, it's happened on every network and I don't really having a person who is the interviewee interviewer be a celebrity themselves like makes no sense.

Yeah.

Like the interviewer is supposed to be like representative of the people, you know?

Yeah.

A nobody.

We need a commoner, a professional journalist, a professional journalist.

An entertainment journalist.

Like there should be those.

There's so many.

That's everyone's dream job.

Yeah.

So I agree with that.

I will say, though, I only saw this clip.

I don't know how the rest of the carpet went for her.

She might have been amazing.

She was fine.

She wasn't amazing.

Everyone was fine, but it's like, I just think on a whole, we've taken this, like, you know,

this thing a little far where we've actually literally

totally excluded actual celebrity entertainment journalists.

Right.

And also, like, what about someone with a comedy background?

Because, like, when you like, who these questions are bombing, they have experience in bombing.

And, like being on stage and like getting the audience and shifting and yeah yeah it's a miss for me i think we need to actually go back in time because there was a time where red carpets especially on e like they were killing it like joan i mean that's the gold standard joan is the gold standard obviously not everyone's gonna be joan but like we should aspire to joan joan of course but then also even after joan it was like the the staples ryan c cress juliana say what you want about her she was good and she fucking studied yeah no i i've not like she had some awkward moments but

she always had like a question up her sleeve.

And she always knew everything about everyone and their projects and what they had going on.

And I don't know if that was something in her ear, but she did a good job.

And I feel like E is now doing like that next generation with like Justin Sylvester, Adrian Bylon,

Kelty.

And I don't know why, you know, they wouldn't put the Tanya Rad.

I don't know why they wouldn't put those people on the carpet.

Instead, they have Laverne Cox.

And I'm not trying to say any, I love Laverne Cox, but it's not her strongest quality.

Who did the E-Red Carpet last night?

I didn't watch E.

I don't know.

Oh, you didn't see any clips or anything?

No.

TikTok Tasman caught up?

I'm not sure.

Anyways, I do feel bad for Ashley Graham, but

it's a really hard position to be put in.

And

that's why people's job is this.

100%.

So any other Oscars thoughts?

No, overall,

it was good.

It was fine.

It wasn't like the most amazing thing I'd ever seen.

No, it was positively dreadful, honestly.

And all the categories, they brought back all the categories because I guess last year some of them were offline and people were upset.

I don't know who.

So they brought all the categories.

And like every 30 minutes, there was like an ad for ABC W Warner Brothers 100th anniversary.

Did you?

I don't think you saw this stuff, but it was an ad for The Little Mermaid, like a trailer, which, by the way, looked really good.

But excuse me, that's what commercial breaks are for.

It's like they wanted to make the show as long as possible.

said, we are in no rush.

Yeah, well, they're on LA time, so they wouldn't be in any rush, but for us, it's almost midnight.

Wrap it up.

Yeah, wrap it up.

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Welcome.

Our next story, a little rumor that could be true, could be not.

The 2023 Met Gala could be Kardashian-free.

The Met Gala could be Kardashian-free this year after the whole family of reality stars attended en masse for the first time in 2022.

Sources tell page six that Vogue boss Anuntor is cracking down on the guest list at the annual fashion fete and that no Kardashians will make the cut.

Vogue wouldn't comment on the event's guest list when they reached out, but a source familiar with the Kardashing Jenner clan says that it's not true that they weren't invited to the big ball.

So some people saying they're not invited, other people saying they're invited.

Still, this story is kind kind of weird and out of nowhere, and it just is making me consider the veracity.

Yeah, I feel like I feel like there actually is a world in which a lot of the Kardashians don't go to the Met Gala this year.

Oh, so what?

It's in like two months, right?

It's March and it's in May.

So I don't know, because they're in like this weird space right now, like they're being very like low-key and quiet because they're kind of like coming off the heels of a lot of like negativity and people are just like not feeling them right now.

I don't really see a world in which Anna Wintor like banned the Kardashians because to be honest, for the last few years, a lot of people have exclusively only cared because that, because they were there.

And I think that wouldn't be smart.

But I do see a world in which she's like, you know, getting really strict on who they allow in because I feel like the last year or two was kind of like a free-for-all.

Like some of the people, I'm like, how the fuck did you get here?

It didn't seem all that exclusive.

Yeah, I think that they should crack down on the list.

The last few years, it hasn't been that.

cool seeming but i think the kardashians are not the problem with that they're actually kind of the solution they have so many friends in hollywood all of their friends are like fellow a-listers like like Haley Bieber.

Like, you know, their network, they should be there.

I think they make the party really fun.

I think that they're all going to be there.

Kim is definitely going to be there with Dolce and Gabbana.

Like,

they're all like Kendall is an actual model.

She's going to be there.

I think Kendall, yeah.

Kylie was just like fashion girly in Milan.

I think

and Kendall and Kylie last night went to Vanity Fair.

Right.

And they're like in there, like going out fashion girlies era.

They're 100% going.

Now, maybe Chloe

isn't dying to go again.

Maybe Courtney, I could see that, like her being like, oh,

I went.

It was okay.

I don't need to go back.

I just see actually Courtney not being invited back.

I felt like the last time she was, remember on the carpet, she was kind of rude.

Yeah, Chris always goes with Tommy Hilfiger, who is still her friend.

So unless Anna literally says to Tommy, you can't invite Chris, like Chris will be there.

I don't think this is true.

I mean, we'll have to wait and see.

I don't think it's true that none of them, because you're right.

Like definitely Kim and Kendall, I feel like are always 100% guaranteed to go.

one because Kim is so fashion and Kendall is obviously like a very high fashion supermodel Kylie like sometimes doesn't leave her house so like I could see her not going and then Kylie is in her leaving her house era she's literally so snatched right now she's oh wait she's like stepping on in all these fashion looks recently like she a Pirelli and all that stuff she was wearing like she's loving it she like is so

skinny right now for lack of a better word and she's gonna go with fucking Met Gala

Yeah, I mean, but she also like does, you know, sometimes not go to things.

So I'm saying like her not going isn't like she wasn't invited but like I see sometimes she doesn't fucking go like remember like she had a sore throat so she didn't go to Balmont like she sometimes skips stuff so I could see whether she's skinny or not I could see her not going yeah, but I don't think I'm saying I don't think that would mean that she wasn't invited by Anna Got it.

Okay, fine

But now that this rumor is out there I feel like like now they're gonna go all of them

You know, no, but I feel like even only one or two have to go to dispel the rumor because the rumor is that none of them are invited.

It's a Kardashian free affair.

So that's either true or false.

Because minimum, we really always get Kendall, Kim, and Chris.

Yes.

And I think we will again.

And I really think Kylie will be there.

Me too.

I don't know about Chloe and Courtney.

I hope Chloe's there.

I hope Chloe's there.

I hope she had fun last time, but I didn't get the vibe that she did because she said she has a lot of anxiety about those things.

Yeah, I don't think she had a bad time.

I think it was like very nerve-wracking.

I think Courtney like had a bad time.

Like when she was being interviewed, she was like, this is weird.

Yeah, yeah.

I could see her being like i don't need to go again and i could see her not being invited because she didn't like appear to be grateful to be there and her outfit kind of sunk big brown skirt yeah but do you think i feel like anna

would weirdly like not care about someone who's like acting too cool for the event that's like better than someone who's acting like desperate for it true you know what i mean

true

honestly i hope that this rumor is not true but maybe it's like a misconstrued rumor about how they're just you know becoming way more strict about who can come because it should it should be that.

It should be that.

There are all of these like random, like,

what's like young Hollywood people who are, yes, in today, but they're not like A-list.

It's really not an A-list event anymore.

No, it became like a little mainstream.

But I also understand like the last few years were confusing with COVID

and people who could come and couldn't come and like the vaccine thing.

So then I think a lot of people didn't go that year.

So they had to bring in the B team and the C team.

Or by the way, that is true.

And, you know, there were a lot of blind items about celebs making like fake vaccine cards just to get into the Mechala.

Yeah, there were like, I think there were probably a few who did fake vaccines, but I think, I think a lot of celebrities also didn't get vaccinated because they're like,

by the way, nobody talks about how like definitely half of Hollywood is not vaccinated.

They're so green and like they're not putting stuff in their body.

Right.

There's no fucking way.

I know for a fact nobody in Hollywood is vaccinated.

Like, it's literally logic.

Hello.

Yeah.

So I think.

Are they still, is it, you have to be vaccinated.

No, because there's not that law in New York anymore.

Oh, right.

Oh, right.

It wasn't Mechala.

It was just events in general.

Events, events.

I want to go to events, but I have to have a vaccination.

Events, events, I want to go to events.

Invite me to your events.

Oh, you're right.

So maybe it'll be, maybe it'll be less B-list.

I think even last May,

you didn't need a vaccine because you didn't in New York then.

So anyways, the last few years have been a hodgepodge.

Plus, there was like two in one year because there was September and May.

Yep.

I think this year, Kumza Fresh, I think Anna, like, she's like, okay, the nonsense, COVID, you know, the tabula rasa.

Yeah, everyone like had an excuse then, then you have to get tested and all this stuff.

Like, tabula rasa, let's get back to the a-list.

I think that's good.

Yeah, and maybe that

policy got misconstrued to page six as the Kardashians aren't invited.

Yeah, like, or maybe, yeah, they were probably like, they're, you know, taking out the trash.

And maybe page six interpreted that as the Kardashians, but it's, I don't know, because, you know, whether you want to admit it or not, and I feel like a lot of really like high fashion people who are like into art and fashion and culture like hate on the Kardashians, but to deny their influence on American fashion would be, is moronic.

Like you, it's, you literally can't ignore them.

No, and like Anna tried it.

It didn't work out.

I don't think she's going to go back to ignoring them.

And they've only become more, even though they become a little less beloved, they've only become more fashion.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

So maybe,

maybe, and this is like why Kim didn't like do a big thing about Balenciaga, like maybe this would be her punishment for not standing by them.

Because remember, we said, like, what does she have to lose by dissing Balenciaga?

She doesn't need the money, but you said that, like, it could be an industry thing where it's like, because really no one, Anna never said anything about it.

No, nobody wants to be known as like the whistleblower.

And so Kim, like, speaking out, like, she's...

What we know about her is like, for as long as she's been famous, she's been dying to get into the inner circle of fashion.

And she's there now.

She's going to make some big stink and have everyone think, oh, like, oh, she tattled on us.

But she didn't even make a big stink.

She just stopped working with them.

But maybe that would be enough.

No, I don't think it's enough.

No, enough for them to like kick her out.

But she's now with Dol Jangaban and she's still fashion.

Fashion.

And they usually have a table.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Anyways, if she goes with them, she'll look amazing.

Those looks are much nicer looking.

Agreed than Balenciaga, like leggings.

Ugly.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

Well, that makes me a little excited for, oh, and the theme is so good.

It's Carl.

Carl.

Yeah.

Oh, and Kendall was so close with Carl.

She'll be there.

Yeah.

She was a Carl girl.

Let's just, let's chalk this up to, you know, game of telephone.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Some actually shocking news.

Sammy's sweetheart is returning to Jersey Shore after a decade-long hiatus and after saying she would never come back to the show.

Over 10 years after she left the original series, Sammy's sweetheart, Giancola, has reunited with her castmates to film Jersey Shore Family Vacation MTV announced Saturday.

The network revealed the news via social media by sharing a photo of the reality star sitting on a chair with a boom mic and a camera in frame, seemingly filming a confessional.

Sammy also confirmed the exciting comeback by reposting the same pic to her Instagram stories and Twitter.

Fans were quick to express their thoughts on social media, writing things like, oh my God, stop.

This is iconic.

Stop.

So it's been over a decade since fans have seen her on the show with her castmates.

She had said she wasn't coming back to the reunion because she was like newly married and wasn't going to go be around her toxic ex, Ronnie Maggro.

No, and if you watched Jersey Shore recently as an adult and you saw what went down in their relationship, like you understand.

We chalked it up as kids.

Like, oh, they're crazy.

Watching it now as an adult, like you realize how fucking abusive and manipulative, manipulative Ronnie was as a boyfriend and like why anyone would return to that now that they're happily married.

Like, I have so much respect for her not returning, but I love this.

Like, it feels like she's in a really good place.

Well, what?

Two things.

One, beyond he's was a horrible boyfriend and extremely toxic person.

Like, when you are married, you do not enter a situation and a share house with your ex of five years.

Five years, yeah.

That's insane.

So I really appreciate her just like putting her actual reality above reality time

because we talk about this all the time.

how are you ever supposed to get over someone when you are with them like if i would never allow my spouse to go and like do that i don't care that it's for a tv show like this is our life yeah no it's

the way you just said it is perfect like putting your own reality before reality tv and like actually having boundaries and not letting like money influence that is something i have enormous respect for but as somebody who's like a huge fan of the show i'm very excited to see her come back and i feel like i'm glad she took time and like she got married and maybe she's feeling really settled and really secure and like good enough to go and ronnie's not on the season he is taking a break amid mental health issues and legal woes uh he said after talking to the team at mtv we have mutually agreed that i will step away from the show while i seek medical treatment for my mental health issues that i've ignored for too long my number one goal is facing my struggles head on because we've reported over the years like he has these domestic um oh my god in like insane legal with that woman he had a baby with like really insane stuff so he's not on, which is why she's coming.

Oh, okay.

That makes a lot of sense.

I'm sorry.

I've been like meaning to add that detail.

Oh, because it's Germaine to the story.

It's Germaine.

It's Germaine.

Okay, that's great.

And you know what?

Sammy's like such a cute little influencer now.

She has like a little boutique.

Like I feel like she's a really nice, happy, like healthy.

like balanced life.

So I'd love to hear from her and see where she's at with all the girls.

Yeah, I think it's gonna, that's gonna be a theme of the season is her kind of making amends with the girls because I think she kind of blew them off when family vacation started.

They really wanted her to come back.

And then Sunooki said like Sammy blocked her even.

Maybe she just like couldn't handle

all of it.

So I think reporch ma, but honestly, if they can get to a good place with Angelina, anyone can get to a good place with anyone.

I mean, how much do you think MTV paid Sammy Sweetheart?

Like a shit ton.

I hope so.

Me too.

Because this is really exciting.

No, this is like majority.

And she's not even like the best cast member.

No.

But it's like

they're a family complete they're a family and that's what the cast has said over the years like it's it's not who said this um

snookie she said she's a part of the show i feel like it's not full unless all of us are there it's true it's true like they're a family it's been incomplete i feel like the

the

new show family vacation is great and stuff but like it's definitely been missing like and even they tried to fix it with angelina and like try as she may angelina is not a part of this show no I mean she is now and she definitely no filled a part of the hole but there was still more hole

yeah and I think Ronnie should really get off of TV for good like he's he is such a toxic person he is like he's more toxic now than he was back then like he is so honestly atrocious and I'm so glad that she doesn't have to be in the same house as him yeah Well, she wouldn't be.

But I'm glad that we can have her and not him right now.

Me too.

I love this.

Like, if you follow her on social media, like, you know, she's like really cute.

She has like a really cute life.

And I'm excited to see what she's been up to.

Same.

Are you ready for our next story?

Is this number four?

Number four.

Is it the fourth story that's brought to you by?

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Our next story bumped to number number four this week.

Scandoval continues.

Tom Schwartz was seen at the airport speaking to TMZ, commenting on Scandival and how he's spoken to Tom and that there's a profound sadness.

He said that Tom is a piece of shit.

Not in a way that it's like he was actually scolding him.

He said, I haven't spoken to Tom today.

I think, you know, they're very much

aligned.

He talked about how he was very sad about the effect that it's having on his business.

He's very sad for

me.

I know, but like,

I get it on a personal level, but like, stop telling her.

I know, and not being so obvious.

Well, he said before that hit about like, he was so sad for Ariana.

Then he said, I'm worried about my business and I'm worried about Ariana.

Ariana, meanwhile, was at a friend's wedding in Mexico this weekend, looking like she was having fun.

And on Thursday night.

or Wednesday night, Vanderpump Rules was on last week, and Lisa Vanderpump was on Watch What Happens Live.

Have you had a chance to watch?

I watched some of the clips and I watched the new episode on the plane last night of Pump You don't understand.

I actually am shocked at the way the season is still giving, even though we're so behind because listening to everything that Raquel says and seeing everything that she does, like knowing what she's capable of and knowing that like right around now, I need an official start date.

I know.

But according to the seven months, like we're in the affair.

I literally don't believe that.

But what's interesting is Tom in his statement said that he didn't tell Ariana because he was worried about her mental health, which actually does coincide with the loss of her dog

and how right after that would not be a good time.

And then like, you know, time goes on and on.

Lisa actually had a really good theory as to why Tom and Raquel didn't come forward.

She said that she thought that they were trying to make it through the reunion of this season, have the season be what it was.

Then he would break up with Ariana off camera and start dating Raquel.

And by the time, and that would be crazy, but they wouldn't be airing.

And by the time the new season started, people would have had a chance to get used to it.

Yeah, no, that's a really good call.

They were so close, two weeks away.

By lay, anyone else like sobbed during like the dog stuff?

I was like, literally not okay.

Oh, no, but it was really sad.

And it was just even sadder knowing, like, yes, knowing what we know, knowing what we know.

And I can't even.

No, it was so sad.

Um, and you're right.

Like, I do see that, like, maybe he tried to tell her right then, but then her dog died, so she needed some time.

And, like, life just gets away.

And, like, you try to tell someone something so many times, but like, it's just never the right time.

Did you else have the theory that maybe Tom Sandoval forgot to give the medication that she had told him to give?

Of course.

I thought that.

That's like Cameron and

from Real House of Dallas.

At least they were like honest about it, though.

Yeah.

No, I could totally see a world in which Tom Sandoval was not listening.

Did not.

He had to pick up more medication and give it to the dog.

He was like half listening.

I need, by the way, when Andy does like, a call out on Twitter and Facebook for questions for the reunion, somebody, can you guys all like ask him that?

Like if we all ask, he can't ignore it.

It's a good question.

It's a good question.

I will even forget to ask it, but like, it was my first thought.

Yeah, it was, but then I forgot about it because I was just like sad for Ariana and she didn't seem to think about it.

So I literally forgot until right now, but it's possible.

And then also that whole Oliver Raquel thing was really weird.

And so I don't know what I would have been thinking about Raquel this season if I didn't know what I already know about her.

Because she's acting fucking crazy.

Like Lala made it explicitly clear like she was interested in Oliver.

And so, and then Raquel just like sneaks her way in.

So, honestly, watching this footage, like, I'm actually not surprised knowing what she did with Tom Sandoval because she's kind of being like a Jezebel, a Jezebel, like a slew.

Yeah, like, no, I would have chalked it.

If I didn't know what I know, I would have watched this and chalked it all up to Raquel being dumb and like not understanding like social cues and yeah, but not her literally being like insidious and just like this Jezebel of a woman.

By the way, I like really, I cannot watch James's mom.

Like, I think she is like the worst.

Yeah.

Like,

she's bad moments.

Wishing Kristen Dodie to be Baron.

Remember that?

Like, she has said some of the most vile things, and she's literally been on the show four times.

I can't watch it.

I think she's horrendous.

I was saying, I'm so glad you guys met organically.

And then Allie in her interview was like, my friend dragged me to a show.

I was, I'm so confused about Allie because it actually seems like for one of James's ladies, she actually has like some smarts yeah which is making me think now that like maybe this is her foray into television you know because like really all you have to be is james's girlfriend and look you could be on the cover of a star new york post

yeah i i i can't get a good read on her either but like i do like her i like her too because like i think she makes sense and she gets mad at james appropriately but she's also not dating raquel and like what james did to raquel is like she can't act like it happened to her but she could still like you know proceed with caution.

No, I'm sorry.

Raquel, like, trying to weigh whether or not she should like go for Tom and being like, well, Katie didn't come to my puppy party.

I actually, like, I felt like serious like shame and embarrassment just like having to hear her say that.

Yeah.

My puppy party.

Yeah.

Uh, yeah.

And then next week, or this week looks crazy when they're in bed.

And I guess Raquel is wasted.

And Lala says, like,

you know, I would not trust drunk you around my man.

And Raquel said, well, good thing you don't have a man to bring around.

No, honestly, I don't know what we would be thinking, like watching this season if we didn't know what we know.

Maybe we would just be thinking like Raquel is spiraling.

Yes.

Oh, for sure.

The drinking is not helping her, but a seven-month affair isn't because you're drunk all the time.

No, no, no.

But now knowing what she's really like,

none of this is really all that shocking.

Yeah.

Knowing what she's capable of.

It is shocking, though, because it's just like, she's so duplicitous.

And the fact that she could sit at a table, and I think she's so shy, She couldn't even make a toast But she could sit at a table and tell Katie's mother that she wants to hook up with her daughter that she has a crush on her daughter's ex-husband and they're not even final divorce I'm like you got a big brass set of balls Yeah, no, that's like fucking delusional loved Katie's mom.

Yeah, like someone needed to like bring the emotion into this and just explain why what you're doing is fucking wrong But like that's not a shy little girl

No, who do you think is gonna be on watch rapids live?

Well, I feel like

I feel like moving forward, whoever's going to be on Watch Reapons Live after Random Pump Rules, like, that's actually more interesting than actually, because now we're finally getting real-time commentary.

Of course, Lisa's episode was so interesting.

I think she was a little wasted because she was being crazy.

She was very loose.

She was loose.

She was crazy, which I love that for her.

I also felt like Andy dropped the ball a little bit.

And Zach said the same thing when we were watching.

It just, even though I think Scandival has like, you know, pumped new blood through his veins, like Lisa would say something and he's just like constantly looking through the cards for the next question.

It's like, don't you have all the questions in your head?

This, like, this is the craziest thing of all time.

The cards.

Also, that last week's episode of Vanderprump Rules was the highest rated episode in the last two years, which is not shocking to me.

No, I'm surprised it's not in the last like 10 years.

10 years.

No, it's the craziest thing.

Yeah.

And by the way, I had to buy the episode on iTunes because I was watching it on the plane yesterday.

And Vanderprump Rules, all the different seasons are all over the iTunes charts, like number one, two, three, four.

They're good.

Also, I feel like maybe Tom Schwartz will be on this week because he was at the airport coming.

I want to say coming to New York, but also Jax was tweeting.

Oh, yeah, Jax said he's coming.

Yeah, well, actually, no, Schwartz was interviewed by TMZ.

It could have been in New York, but probably was LA.

It was probably L L.

I don't know, but that was a thought I had when I saw him in the airport that, like, it's Watch What Happens Live.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Watch What Happens Live.

I just saw they released their schedule.

I apologize.

Give me one second.

What night is Vanderprimp Rules on?

Wednesday.

Okay, wait, Here I have the schedule.

Wednesday is Katie Maloney and Danny Pellegrino.

Okay.

That's good.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Katie's going to be so good.

Yeah.

But we need to hear from everyone.

Honestly, Watch Robins Lives ratings are about to go through the roof.

And he really needs to start caring.

Like, put the cards down, have a conversation.

Yeah.

It's going to be okay.

He's McCurdia.

Yeah, no, he's like addicted to the curds.

To the cards.

Yeah, no.

I've always felt that way.

It's like he doesn't really listen for people's answers because he's looking for the next question.

Whereas the next question could come organically if you just listen.

Right.

And like, you can't listen to the answer if you're looking for your next question.

But I understand how, with some people, it's like, you know,

like an actor or something.

It's like

20 minutes to ask them every question from all the fans, and the fans are going to give you questions from A to Z.

Like, I understand.

Fine.

Yeah.

But this is Scandival.

What's to look like?

No, I know.

This is your like Super Bowl.

Who has more questions than Andy?

You're like the Tom Brady.

Get it together.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I'm just living for absolutely everything that's coming out of Andy.

And And Kristen was spotted filming.

Yes, Kristen is filming, but also Kristen doesn't have a Vanderpump Rules contract.

So it's my understanding that a lot of the castmates who have podcasts are limited in what they can say.

But Kristen is not.

So Kristen released an episode that everyone was like eating up.

So if you want like some real BTS, check out Kristen's podcast.

Yeah.

I heard a clip, but I forget what I heard now, but it was good.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

The news you've been waiting for?

Sure.

The 2023 Razzie winners are here.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Yep.

Big day.

Yep.

Big day.

Worst picture.

I forget that the Razzies

released the same time as the Oscars.

They're so funny.

They're so funny.

Worst picture,

blonde.

I agree, and I didn't see it.

Worst actor, Jared Leto, Morbius.

I didn't see it, but I feel like that's pretty accurate.

Worst actress, they forgot to update the winner, but I'm using deductive reasoning that it's Anna de Armas blonde.

Yeah.

By the way, total sidetrack, but like Elvis literally didn't win one Oscar.

There were a few where I thought that they might win, like for costumes, like effects,

and set design because they really recreated.

But to recreate something is different than creating something out of nothing, even though All Quiet on the Western Front won and they recreated World War I.

But like

to create like, you know, a battlefield, it's kind of harder than like a

set that already existed.

You're just recreating it.

Yeah, like a stage in Vegas.

I just thought it was like kind of crazy how like it was like such a big movie, but like when you really boil it down, like it was like low-key not good.

Like he was amazing, and the music, like the movie itself was like kind of bad.

I liked the movie a lot, but it wasn't an Oscars movie.

No.

There was something a little too corny about it.

And I would say the corniness came from Austin Butler.

Yeah, cheesy.

Yeah.

But I'm happy that he had a lot of Razzies.

Me too.

Worst remake rip-off or sequel.

That's a funny category.

Pinocchio.

Wow, even though it won.

Worst supporting actor, Tom Hanks, Elvis.

Oh my God.

Thank you.

I finally feel seen from the Razzies.

Thank you.

Worst screen couple.

Tom Hanks and his latex-laden face and ludicrous accent, Elvis.

Agreed.

Thank you, Razzie.

He's finally doing something important.

That is so funny how they

just make up like couples.

That's not a problem.

Yeah.

No, they're so funny.

So funny.

Worst screenplay, blonde, worst director, machine gun, Kelly, and Mod Sun in Good Morning.

I don't even know what that is.

So the Razzies have spoken.

The Razzies have spoken, and you know what?

Did they lie?

No.

Lies were told.

And that's what's just so funny about like the Oscars and just like this, you know, very upper echelon filmmaking community is like they are giving out awards for best when like the people like the Razzies, like there are movies that are on both lists.

Yeah.

Got to keep them humble.

But you know who wasn't there?

Brendan Frazier.

No, of course not.

The Razzies have spoken.

Everything Everywhere All At Once wasn't there either.

Right.

It's like actual good performances.

Yeah.

So that's the end of award season.

I feel like we've been getting a lot of news out of like those, you know, know, core people, Ariana DeBose, Michelle Yeo, Jamie Lee Curtis, Angela Bassett.

Austin Butler.

Austin Butler.

We'll see what next year's circuit brings.

And like

I feel like this year's circuit was like not super A-list.

No, and that's what I was saying.

Like every year it's like the same people who are nominated for all the big award shows because they're in the big movies.

And so we just see them a million times.

And like, I'm just tired of this bunch.

Yeah, this because I didn't think this bunch was very

fabulous, honestly.

Yeah.

It had its key stars, Michelle Yeo, but like, I don't know, overall, it wasn't like the coolest crowd.

No, it wasn't.

You know?

It was not, but

there was some really good stories in there.

Brendan Frazier, Ki Hai Kwan.

And that's better than some of the fabulosity of, you know, like Jessica Chassian winning again.

Right.

Even though, you know, Jessica Chassian really never disappoints.

Uh, is it huh?

Like in

recently.

I've heard she's she's really good in George and Tammy, which I've been meaning to watch, but like, you know how I felt about Tammy Faye.

Oh, I loved Tammy Faye.

And then she won an Oscar for it.

Oh, I liked it.

I actually liked it.

And by the way, I love her.

Love.

Yeah, I know.

She's your child.

Like, I love her.

And I love, and she always looks amazing.

I thought she looked great last night.

Why was she wearing a mask in the audience?

And then took it off

to talk, like as if, oh, I'm talking, the virus can't be.

No, I feel like if you're wearing a mask, you have COVID.

Oh, I I feel like she

has COVID.

Honestly, fire call.

No, I thought that was weird too.

Only like, okay, if you're going to wear a mask and someone's talking to you, like you taking it off, like literally defeats the purpose of you putting it on.

So like you're either being putting it on it.

It just defeats the purpose of you putting it on.

Like you're being performative or you don't fucking care.

Which one is it?

I have or you have COVID.

Or you have COVID in me, which you really wanted to go.

No, actually, like now I'm going to need to.

There's no reason why she needs to be wearing a mask unless she has COVID.

And like, you need to say it was a cloth mask right like sitting wearing a mask like bumper to bumper with 50 people around you is so dumb because you're not helping anyone no

no and then she literally took it off to talk like question mark

she took it off her in the shared mic right with malala and colin farrell

So that's our show.

That's your Oscars recap, your pump rules recap, your Lib Zen recap.

And we've got a great week coming up.

You know, we've got Tuesday, we've got Wednesday, and then we also actually, we have Thursday and Friday.

It's so true, we do.

And not every other show has that.

No, I would say, I would argue none of them do.

Very few are daily.

So, daily.

Daily girlies.

We're daily turtles.

Daily turtle swirlies.

Thank you guys.

Thank you so much for listening to The Toast of The Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast side stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please.

Oh, also, John Travolta.

I missed him.

Oh, he came out, and I think everyone was like, Adele, Dozi, I'm like ready for him.

And he really, he got choked up.

He introduced the In Memoriam that was Lenny Kravitz and Olivia Newton-John, who it was,

I think, like, it was actually really sweet.

He got like really choked up talking about Olivia Newton-John.

That's really sweet.

I heard Ann Haitsch was left out.

Oh, you know what?

She was.

But then they did, like, for all the rest of the people, you know, who weren't famous enough to make the TV, go to this website.

It was kind of like really fucking tacky.

Like either include everyone or don't.

Like don't send people to a website to remember them, you know?

Yeah, it was really, really like tacky.

Do you think she wasn't famous enough?

I don't think so.

Like people know her.

No, but like what would be the criteria for getting on TV and then getting on the website?

Obviously like fame.

Maybe Oscar winner.

Nah.

Fame.

Fame.

I wanna live forever.

Is that what they say?

I don't know.

Let me look it up.

I know it goes like something like, yeah, I wanna live.

They say fame, yeah, because the show's name is fame.

Wait, that's from fame?

Like, I think so.

Now you're like making me question everything.

Okay.

I'm pretty.

Yeah, they say fame.

I'm gonna live forever.

I'm gonna learn how to fly high.

I feel it coming together.

People will see me and cry.

Remember, remember.

Yeah, because you'll remember my name.

Because I'm the B.

Interestingly famous.

Jackie's the musical theater girl.

I know.

That was lame.

That was like literally embarrassing.

Too embarrassing.

Thank you so much, Roger.

Please

give me a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

Set Spotify, Attic, Sister, Public Radio, IR Radio Cast Box, all the places to have listened to podcasts, find us the 2025 star view about our beautiful stunning and wickedly talented we are.

Hope you have a great day, Jackie.

Don't go into labor.

Love you.

Bye.