Raquel Speaks Out and Scheana Plays Herself: Wednesday, March 8th, 2023

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Wednesday.

It is hump day.

A favorite here at the toast.

Make sure this is your reminder that you hump someone you love today.

And there's nobody I love more.

No girl who grinds my gears gets me me more alive

than Jackie O.

Hey, Jax.

Hi.

Thank you.

I love every day to hear what you're going to say about me.

It must be like so much pressure every day having to come up with something new and flattering.

And it never really goes the other way, though I compliment you throughout the show.

It's not pressure.

It's not pressure.

It's just this, you know, need for creativity.

I don't want my interest to ever feel stale.

Oh, I don't think anyone could ever say that they are.

Well, good.

That That means I'm doing a good job.

At your job.

At me job.

That is your job.

Oh, no.

I'm going to lose my job.

What's that from?

It's a tic-tac sound.

Everyone's like, oh, no, I'm panicking because I'm going to lose my job.

And then when they found, like, the actual origin of the video, it's actually really dark.

I'm sure.

You know those, no, it's not what you think.

You know those people who like set up a pretend to be like teenagers on the internet and find predators and then meet up with them and like film them.

Like, are you talking to a 13-year-old?

Yeah, like they do it in an official capacity, usually.

Sometimes it's just like people's YouTube channels, not fun, but like to scare predators into.

And so they caught this guy, and he was like this freaky-looking dude, and they were following him around with the camera when they met up in the parking lot.

He's like, No, I'm panicking because I'm going to lose my job.

I think he was Irish or something.

It was honestly like fucking hysterical.

I hope he did lose his job.

Oh my god, that's crazy.

I told you, dark origins of TikTok sounds.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I love finding out the origins of like viral trending audio.

A lot of the time it comes from like old reality TV that I know, you know?

That's like when everyone was doing, you know, Gia Judice's song.

Oh, of course.

I knew it, but like people were shook to find out what it actually, most people didn't know.

But that's also from reality TV is, hey, how y'all doing?

Of course, also,

Today trained me.

It's Marlow from Real House of Atlanta.

Like, sometimes I recognize the bits, sometimes I recognize the voice, but every now and and then I get a little surprised.

Like, I'm going to lose my job.

Some of mine that are my favorite actually come from podcasts, which it's like, do you feel like you want to talk less shit?

No,

because

I like it.

Yeah, we did kind of go viral on TikTok.

Like, that's why TikTok can't be banned.

Like, what would we go viral on?

Reels.

Shorts.

Shorts.

YouTube shorts.

Shirts.

Maybe we'll have to start posting our podcast clips to Facebook stories.

I just want to say, and I know it's probably an accident, I have never in my life seen anyone post a Facebook story except your husband.

But I think it's something with his Instagram that automatically sends his Instagram stories.

I don't think he knows.

Or no, he's just like, he doesn't story that often.

So when he does, he's like, sure, let's blow it up.

Post it.

What if I just...

What if I just shared it to Facebook?

What if I just syndicate it to all my channels?

Right.

It's actually really cute when I see it, but that's the only time I ever see like someone I know doing Facebook stories.

That's so funny.

I'll have to tell him.

He was called out.

Every now and then when I post an Instagram story, they're like, want to syndicate this to your Facebook?

I'm like, are you trying to ruin my career?

Trying to ruin my life?

My reputation.

I have friends.

I have family.

I have an image to uphold.

Yeah.

Can't be seen on Facebook stories.

No.

Sorry, tangential.

Yeah, but that's what the show is.

The tangent.

The tangent.

Feel free to go off on one anytime.

Well, it's Wednesday, just some housekeeping.

Big day here.

You know, we got lots to talk about.

We also have Deer Toasters, our weekly advice segment.

We have three really good submissions.

I think we'll be able to make a lot of, impact a lot of positive change.

Yeah.

Were you going to say something?

Yeah.

I was just going to agree with you.

I was going to concur.

And it's also our last

real episode of the week because I'm headed to Portugal tonight.

I have been just non-stop, you know, prep, packing, make sure everything is settled at home, getting Ben.

Oh my God, Ben, like still not packed, still not packed.

We'll leave him for the airport in four hours, still not packed.

What is he doing?

He's at a trade show, which is important, you know, Vin Expo is a big one.

Javit Center, so I'll allow it, but pack.

Pack.

Yeah.

No, I don't understand these men.

No, it's, it's next level.

And he got back from Boston on Friday.

That bag was still not unpacked.

And you need to use the same bag.

Oh, my God.

I just, it could never be me.

And I'm really trying to learn like as I get older, just like not to get so pressed about, it's not me, like I'm packed.

Like, why can't I just be happy with my productivity?

But it's because my productivity is irrelevant when my partner

is strong as your weakest link.

Thank you.

So I know some, some people be like, don't be such a bitch wife.

Like let he'll get packed.

But it's like, it starts impacting me.

If he was, when he goes on his solo trips and he throws a t-shirt into a backpack the day before, I don't fucking care.

But I'm going and it's like, it's a big trip.

It's international.

We need our global entry.

Like there's a lot of productivity that needs to be done before.

Yeah.

And he just doesn't understand.

Just wait till you have a baby and it's like, I pack for me and Harry and we're all packed before Zach even gets his suitcase out.

No.

And it's like, there's no excuse.

And it's like, I'm packing me and him.

So it's like, I'm, it's not like I'm some low maintenance.

No, you're a queen of glamour puss.

Especially if we're traveling.

Of course.

Glamour, glamour packs every day.

Of course.

Oh, and me and Harry like share luggage a lot of the time.

It's just easier.

And Zach gets his own and still can't get done.

He like overpacks.

And I'm like, I'm wearing a different outfit every day.

And I'm sharing.

And I got Harry's crap in here.

And you know, he has a lot of crap.

A lot of crap.

You know what I actually woke up this morning thinking and I wanted to.

I do put some of Harry's crap inside.

But we split Harry's stuff.

That's what we do.

That way we only have to have two suitcases.

Life hack.

Life hack.

I just thought, you know, as I was walking into work this morning, something I wanted to share with you that I only really wanted to share on the podcast so people can know like how nice I am.

Um, I really miss you.

Like, I really, like, I woke up today.

Some days are harder than others, honestly.

Like, and I woke up today, maybe it's because, like, I, I've had like a 12-hour migraine, so I'm not feeling my best.

I'm feeling low.

I have like a busy, like, kind of

anxiety-riddle-riddle day in front of me.

And I just was thinking, like, I miss my family.

It's like today, like, it's not cool that I can't, like, wrap the toast and go over to Olivia's house and see the kids and just like hang.

It's not cool.

It's not cool.

No, I know.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

And I actually had a dream about New York last night and I was just like having an amazing time.

Three bucks.

Two

bags.

Yeah, we don't bring one for Harry.

Right.

One.

One roll.

And I keep being like, you know, maybe I'll just like, what if I just come to New York next week?

I can't come next week because I have a doctor's appointment.

I have a friend's birthday.

And it's just like, I busy Florida things.

And then like the following week, like, then you're coming so soon.

So

it doesn't make sense.

And then you're going to be here for

like over a week, which is nice.

So we'll, we'll look for it.

We'll shoot for April.

Yeah, Jax and I are spending Passover together, which is just lovely.

And also, I'm coming down a few days early because Jax and I have kind of been like not even spoken about how we've been asked to speak at a prestigious university.

Yeah, we are.

They want our expertise.

Academic girlies.

And we're going to go talk to some students.

And we're going to, I think, impact, you know,

positively on the new generation.

I hope.

Yeah.

I don't see how we couldn't.

I don't see how we couldn't.

We're so pleased.

That's exciting.

That's exciting.

Our first, like, academic.

I have to figure out what I'm going to wear.

I need a pair of glasses.

Yeah, I have to figure out what I'm going to wear.

Like, I need something that fits.

Well, yeah, always.

Need something that fits.

Need something that makes me look snatched to the gods.

Need something that makes me look

something that makes me look literary.

Yeah.

Like a merit scholar.

Yeah.

Maybe I should do some shopping today, even though I just got some like stretchy dresses from Skims

that should be good for just like maternity wear.

Yeah.

But I think that's a little skimpy for

the university.

No, we can't be looking like big whores at the university.

No.

We cannot.

And we're always looking like whores, so it'll be hard for us to find something.

Dressing like a whore

and

stopping the negative self-talk.

Another viral audio of ours that went viral on TikTok.

I'm surprised like more of our audios don't go viral because really any moment could.

Like this one right here.

Yeah.

Right.

Do it.

Oh my God.

Jackie's so cute.

Like, is it just a moment?

Did I lose?

Like, do you have bad news to deliver that you're just buttering me up?

No, no, maybe it's like because I'm leaving the country.

I feel like I'm going to miss my family even more.

You're feeling home.

I'm just sick.

I'm just missing the family.

And I had everyone over for dinner on Monday night.

And obviously you and Olivia weren't there.

So I just fucking sucked.

Yeah.

It was not.

Just really missing you.

Missing you too.

Turdy's missing her Lou.

We'll be reunited soon.

I know we'll be together again, cause

everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there, Marshall Anthony.

Whenever Brian sings that song, he puts, by the way, that's something Brian and I have in common.

He'll put his dog's name into popular music whenever he can.

And he calls his dog Marshall Anthony, even though Anthony is not his last name.

And now I can't sing that song with Marshall Anthony.

That's so funny.

I was going to say, are you excited to travel with the Snatcher this weekend?

I am.

I love getting some downtime with the Satch.

We've been like talking a lot, you know, sharing like outfits.

So I just feel like I'm hanging out with the popular crowd, you know?

Yeah, I was FaceTiming her last night.

She was like showing me some dresses

that she was thinking about.

It's very exciting to kind of like roll with the popular crow, you know?

Yeah, I'm excited for you.

You're like my nerdy friend who I like leave behind to go hang out with the popular kids.

Totally.

Lovely.

You can really only be yourself around me.

Yeah, and you know the real me.

Yeah.

But at a certain point, like my feelings do get hurt when it's like, no, of course.

When you're with the populars, it's like, I don't exist.

Yeah, no.

And like, we have this arrangement.

Like, when I'm with the populars, like we pretend like we don't know each other.

Yeah.

And it's.

And that eventually starts to chip away at you.

At your situation.

At first, I was like, listen, you know, she's a social animal.

She has to do what she she has to do.

And that's maybe how it has to be.

Rising tides, rise all shades.

Like she'll, you know, get cool and then make me cool.

That's how it starts.

Yeah, yeah.

But I'm also like the nerd with like too much pride.

I don't want to be a part of the popular crew.

You are the nerd with too much pride.

I'm the nerd who takes off his glasses and everybody realizes he's handsome.

That's true.

You are handsome.

Don't be rude.

Don't be fucking rude.

You're beautiful, turdy.

Thank you.

So we've got a great show.

We have so much to do today.

Like this episode, we can't outrun our memory cards.

I know we're outrunning your memory card.

That's good.

I am so impatiently waiting for Luke Combs' new album.

Like every song that drops, I haven't even spoken about how deeply connected and moved I am by his most recent single.

You did talk about it.

Oh.

Oh, sorry.

Okay.

But what's crazy is

I love the song just like I love every Luke song, but it doesn't speak to me as much as the other one he released before it.

Love you anyway.

Oh my God, one of the most beautiful Luke songs of all time.

I know, but there's like a verse in Joe that like really makes me tear up.

I feel like if you've even been remotely or like distantly known of someone who struggled with addiction, the song has to make you cry.

Listen to this part, ready?

Some battles are fought on foreign shores.

And some are fought behind closed doors.

Damn.

Wait, hold on.

There's a better after that.

Damn.

No, I know.

It's like so deep.

He's such a poet, and nobody even knows it because he's just like, you know, this big fisherman, countryman.

No, but they know it.

Okay, ready?

They know.

Some battles are fought on foreign shores

and some are fought behind closed doors.

Some fall from grace, some lose their wings,

some find the peace salvation brings it's so nice like I feel like if you're like a sober queen or any sort of addiction like I feel like that song could be like a real piece like a solace for you you know um

speaking of songs about sobriety Charles from Lady A recently got sober yes I know and he put out a solo song um oh wow about

I think it's called as far as you could like that pretty much like he like he drank for as long as he could.

It took him as far as he could.

Right.

But he had to eventually put it down.

It's beautiful.

It's like straight up about his addiction to alcohol and how it brought him, like it, you know, gave him the courage to meet, like to go up to his wife, made her laugh, also made her cry.

Oh, no, that's sweet.

I, uh, I'm really happy for Charles from Linier.

I feel like his battle had been like this open secret in country music.

Like a lot of people knew about it.

And like, you really can't force someone to make the change.

Like, they have to want to do it themselves.

And I recently saw him post his trip to rehab, and he looked very good.

He looked very healthy.

He had like this light back in his face.

So I'm excited for that journey.

And I'm going to listen to that song on the plane today.

I can't wait to cry.

It's beautiful.

Add it to your list.

I'll add it to my list.

I've also been listening to Morgan Wallen's news.

Oh, yes, that's what I wanted to ask you.

I just started, it's so long.

So I'm a few songs in.

So good.

What's so crazy is like, I wasn't even desperate for a new album yet.

Like one, he puts out three new songs every few weeks.

Yeah.

And like the old album, I'm still obsessed with.

Like it's not stale to me.

So my cup runneth over.

Yeah, my thoughts, my initial thoughts on the album, and maybe I'm not able to see it yet because it's just 36 songs, but they all, they do sound like really repetitive.

Like only a few of them really stand out to me.

And maybe I need to listen to it better to like really get it.

But I was just, I don't think it compares to his previous album, but I do really love the song Keith Whitley.

Like love.

Yeah, I'm in the middle of it.

but you know what album I did complete a few times that was wonderful.

Mimi Webb's album.

Oh, Pink's album's too good.

Pink's album's good too, but Mimi Webb, it's called Amelia, and she's a star.

We've got a lot of new music coming.

Jonas Brothers, Ed Sheeran, Luke.

I seriously, like, I cannot wait for Luke's song.

Yeah.

Album.

I know, but I still,

I still put on Growing Up album every time I get in the car.

No, of course.

And I have tired of it.

I'm not tired of it either, but the singles he's been dropping has been leaving me with this thirst.

Yeah.

I'm thirsty.

You know?

Yeah.

I don't have enough time in the day to listen to all this music.

I know.

But now that I'm a driver, maybe I will.

Maybe.

Maybe, maybe not.

But let's get into everything.

So much to discuss today.

Plus, dear toasters, we don't want to

disagree with you.

I learned the memory cards.

So without further ado, taking up the memory cards, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Okay, thank you, Claudia.

Our first story and update on the scandal ball.

We've got a couple.

First, Raquel has broken her silence and put out a statement exclusive to Entertainment Tonight about her apologizing.

Yeah.

Quote, I want to apologize for my actions and my choices foremost to Ariana and to my friends and the fans so invested in our relationships.

There is no excuse.

I am not a victim and I must own my actions and I deeply regret hurting Ariana.

I am reflecting on my choices, speaking to a counselor, and I'm learning things about myself, such as my patterns of codependency and addiction to being and feeling loved.

I've sought emotional validation through intimate connections that are not healthy without regard for my own well-being, sometimes negatively affecting others and often prioritizing the intimate connection over my friendships.

I'm taking steps to understand my behavior and make healthier choices.

Although I chose to be on a reality show, accepting the good and the bad that comes with it, beyond my own actions, I have been physically assaulted, lost friendships, received death threats, and hate mails in addition to having my privacy violated.

I have begun counseling to end my unhealthy behavioral cycle, learn to set stronger emotional boundaries, and learn to protect my mental health.

I don't expect sympathy, understanding, or forgiveness.

Right now, I must focus on my own health and well-being as I strive to be a better person moving forward.

I will prioritize my mental health and learn from my mistakes.

So this news broke on Friday.

So she learned all of that from a counselor since Friday.

Is the counselor living with her?

Like I'm like, you meet with a counselor once a week.

Okay, maybe twice a week.

Or maybe it's something that like she, you know,

knew about herself sort of over the years and could see this pattern in herself, but like really couldn't identify it until she blew up her whole world with her actions.

I mean, at the end of the day, there's quite literally nothing she could say that would would make this better.

So like, we're just, we're going to pick apart whatever she says.

Um,

like, cool.

There's nothing.

You said that yesterday.

There's absolutely nothing she could say, but she has to say something.

Yeah.

As far as what she could say, I think this is as good as it gets.

Like, she's accepting responsibility.

She's not a victim.

She's.

It's more than Tom Sandoval did in his first statement.

She's apologizing in the direction where the apology needs to go.

That's all she can do at this point.

There's nothing that's going to like

change hearts and minds.

The chips are continuing to fall where they may.

The out,

what's the word?

The

outcome?

No.

The fallout.

Yes.

It will have to continue to fall out until things can like even begin to conceive of rebuilding forgiveness, making it better.

In the final paragraph where she references being physically assaulted, that

kind of confirms a rumor that Sheena had found out the night before it came out and slapped her.

They were like, I think it was right after Watch Happens Live, right?

Yeah, when Sheena found out, apparently she either slapped her or punched her in the face.

And Raquel has filed a restraining order against Sheena.

So a lot, and she was granted that the restraining order.

A lot of people say that it's like a ploy for her not to have to show up to the reunion in two weeks because she can't be within a thousand feet of Sheena.

But you know what?

Sheena doesn't.

Sheena doesn't.

Sheena's on Zoom.

Sheena's on Zoom.

No, but I wonder how restraining orders work with like contact.

No, so Sheena's not at the reunion.

Because

even though what Raquel did was really terrible like you don't punch someone in the face no sheena's 100 wrong for that like that's just so sheena like so erratic you know just having such like an extreme opposite reaction

like instead of just having like a level-headed reaction the entire time and not setting up your friend with the other friend and and then like right right you know so extreme both ways

both ways so that was like and now she's gonna ruin if she

like i hope this doesn't doesn't stop Raquel from coming to the reunion.

And if Raquel doesn't go to the reunion, like, she obviously shouldn't be on the show anymore.

That's been the rules forever.

But the restraining order does throw a wrench into things.

But for me, it means that Sheena won't be there.

Sorry, Sheena.

Yeah, you played yourself.

You played yourself.

That was really dumb of her.

And she's wrong.

You don't fucking hit someone.

But apparently,

like, Raquel has a black eye is what I heard.

Yeah, I know.

It was like a, it was like a fucking, it was a punch.

And it must have been something that left a mark because she probably has pictures, which granted her restraining order.

But I am curious, though, about the timeline.

Like, do you think she, so Sheena found out after Watch Robins Live?

What's Wednesday night?

The news broke on Friday, and apparently Ariana found out on Thursday night.

Is it just a happenstance that Sheena and Ariana found out two days apart?

Or did Sheena tell Ariana?

You know, because we know that Ariana found out from the cell phone video.

I thought Ariana found out

first.

I thought Ariana found out Wednesday night

after the show.

I guess, no, what night was Tom's show?

I believe it was Wednesday night.

So they both just randomly happened to find out the same night?

Ariana found out and told everyone.

Oh, oh, oh, you're right.

You're right.

Okay, sorry.

That's definitely what happened.

Okay, I needed the timeline in my head.

That's what I did.

And then Sheena found out and she was like, oh my God, punch.

Oh, and she happened to have been with Raquel when she found out.

Okay, that tracks.

Okay, that makes sense.

This is just, it's getting crazier and crazier.

Tom Sandoval also released another statement.

I guess he saw the dissatisfaction from his crap olive first statement.

I can't read so many statements.

You know, you get one.

You get one.

He apologized to Ariana primarily and that his actions and the way he went about them were completely wrong.

Duh.

There's also so much coming out now about production because they are filming.

Apparently, Raquel and Tom filmed a scene.

They kissed, so like they're still together.

And then there was another scene.

They kissed, but it was like complicated.

I think their relationship is complicated right now.

Then there was another scene that apparently was filmed and Tom Sandoval was really unhappy with it.

and he wanted to reshoot.

He was told no and now he's refusing to show up for filming.

There's no way he's going to turn.

Like if he doesn't show up to filming, then he won't show up to the reunion.

Then he doesn't have a job anymore.

And then it's all over for him.

He has to show up.

Yeah, I will be so disappointed if either one of them doesn't show up to the reunion.

Like that is so

that's such like a bullshit thing to do.

Yeah, I think they will.

I hope that they will.

This saga just keeps unfolding.

Oh, so Tom Sandoval was seen going to therapy.

Okay, that was obviously staged.

Yeah.

Like,

he was seen going to therapy?

Like, what?

Like, one, they're following him everywhere.

Yeah.

In that he went to therapy.

Right, because he knew people were following him.

Yeah.

I mean, that's probably clamorous, and we have to watch a scene with Tom Sandoval telling a therapist, I don't know why I do that.

Leave me alone.

I have no ounce of, like, grace or even remote, like, sympathy for Tom Sandoval.

Like, you know what?

I could make an argument about Raquel.

She really is this like

very

easily manipulated, quiet, shy.

Like, I, and there's no, honestly, there's no excuse for that.

Like, you're 30, get it together.

Um, but like, I could make an argument for like how Raquel potentially.

I have a little bit of sympathy of the way that Raquel's being treated just because it's more than a human being can handle.

Yes.

And Tom Sandoval is being treated the same way.

I have no sympathy.

I have not one ounce of anything to give to Tom Sandoval.

I literally don't.

I don't.

Yeah.

And I feel like he's loving it.

Like I just really feel that way,

which is crazy to think.

Crazy to think.

But like, I wonder, it's so messed up because it's like they have to show up for the reading and it's in their contract and they don't want to be.

Yep.

But like they could probably bargain for more money to come back next season, the two of them.

Unless

I don't know if their contracts are at a place where they renew every year.

I got it.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

If either one of them had that.

If I think they should get fired, it's like, I think they might get a promotion.

Yeah.

Well, that's just so weird about reality TV.

Like, the worse you are, the more you're rewarded, which is why it's such a toxic environment and why it ends up being really good.

And it's like your personal life.

So you need to like intentionally blow up your personal life in order to succeed in your career, but then like your personal life and your career are completely at odds.

A hundred percent.

If either one of them are in a position where their next contract, where their contract ends at the end of the season, then yes, they are both going to be flying high.

Yeah.

Which is just crazy to think.

Crazy to think.

So

what do you think?

Do you think we're going to hear from Ariana?

Like, I was thinking, you know, I could see like Alex Cooper getting in there and like, you know, getting Ariana on the chair.

But because they have this show, like, that's their platform.

Like, they're not going to give this moment to someone else.

Already, Lala said she recorded an episode with some cast members talking about it and production

Ceason desisted it.

They had to record something else.

It will be out later today, but it should have been out this morning, but it got delayed because production is like probably not trying to ruin their own show.

No, good.

They really should keep everything.

And I know we're all so eager to like know what's going on right now,

but let's let it unfold.

Like I really do want to see how it plays out on the TV show.

I don't really want to hear podcasts.

What they really should be doing

is getting the Love Island editors in the studio and putting out episodes now we care now we'll care again in a few months and it will everyone will be watching but like

you're we're never gonna care as much as we do right now no and at the end of the day this entire saga is a real um case study in how traditional reality TV is antiquated.

People's attentions are spans are so short.

How you can like, you really are letting this moment go by not capitalizing it, capitalizing on it for the show right now.

And they also need to be editing the next episodes, condensing them

so that there are like episodes after and we don't have to watch, you know, Sheena getting her nails done talking about some nonsense.

So there's fewer episodes that we have to watch until the big break.

Yeah.

Honestly, I could argue that a big chunk of the season could be cut.

Like, let's just keep the Tom and Schwartz stuff.

I mean, the Schwartz and Raquel stuff, just to see like what the fuck their angle was there.

And then to make you know the bombshell of Raquel and Sandoval even more

big yeah

so that's the latest

oh my god totally random tangent right now you want to hear something so devastating like no but

my local Dwayne Reed is going out of business which is like if you live in New York like your local Dwayne Reed is life support.

But based on everything you've shared with us, or I don't even know if you said on the show, like it makes sense.

It's getting robbed like every day.

No, No, yeah, okay.

So, every time you walk in there, there's somebody holding up, you know, the entire store with a knife.

But I still need that.

Like, what

I can't tell you how many times in the middle of the night, like, we've had to run out and the Dwayne Reid, like, hell, there's a Dwayne Reed on every day.

I understand.

And I also don't live in like a, I live in like a.

a residential area, so there's not a ton of businesses.

Yeah.

There's not like, all right, okay, I'll walk another block to the other bodega.

There isn't.

And I just, I'm upset.

I'm sorry, Turdy.

It's been really tough, my local pharmacy going out.

Well, there's GoPuff.

Yeah.

And you'll have to just be better about

keeping stock of everything.

Yeah.

When in my last apartment, I wasn't really, I wasn't technically near to a pharmacy, but I didn't live on top of one, which means I wasn't.

Yeah.

And you had to like get stuff on Amazon.

You just have to be like more aware of it.

I know.

Vigilant.

Vigilant.

You can't just like go down for a snack, a bag of chips.

No.

And can I tell you how many times I've just gone down for a Hershey bar, like a little something sweet?

Yeah, no, I used to live on top of pharmacy three apartments ago, and what's happening?

I did my grocery shopping there, yeah, of course.

My god, Ben's always coming back from the pharmacy with like avocados.

I'm like, Where did you get that?

Yeah, it's like Dwayne Reid.

No, now you got an

Instacart,

so it's just like a something difficult I'm dealing with on a personal level that I wanted to share.

I'm really sorry about that.

Thanks, thanks very much.

I hope something great comes in into the space, even though it's

a great point.

That's a a great point.

Yeah.

Something that big

love.

I know.

I'm surrounded by banks.

And you only need

bang.

Bank, bank, bang.

Yeah.

You only need whatever one is yours, which there already is in your neighborhood.

I guess that's true.

Put a positive spin on it.

I really didn't think about what might be coming.

Like a lunch spot.

Oh my God.

Don't play with me.

A lunch spot?

It's too big for a lunch spot.

Like a spot that sells warm bowls?

I love a warm bowl yeah it's not a great location for a lunch spot no you live like but there's a lot of like fashion near you too yeah could be fashion

great

what if it were Amazon fashion

oh my god if they open like an Amazon go you know those like Amazon stores that have

they have like a Starbucks in there they also have like a bookstore there's like and you don't have to pay like your phone just like dings and you can walk out with all your shit.

I love that.

That was what you need.

Manifested, Turdy Blue.

Even though there is an Amazon Go like two blocks away, so they're not going to open one.

Maybe it does so well they need another.

Manifest.

I love that.

I'm manifesting.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Cara Delavine is on the cover of Vogue talking about her substance abuse and entering a 12-step program.

She says, I was not okay.

Cara Delavine is speaking out about getting help.

In an interview for the April cover of Vogue, the model and actress shared that that she entered a 12-step program after paparazzi photos last year gave her an urgent wake-up call, explaining that her behavior was tied to the pandemic's effect and her milestone 30th birthday last August.

So we all remember the paparazzi photos.

She explained that she was like coming from Burning Man.

The party just never stopped.

And she thought she was having a good time until she saw those photos.

She said, quote, I hadn't slept.

I was not okay.

It's heartbreaking because I thought I was having fun, but at some point it was like, okay, I don't look well.

You know, sometimes you need a reality check.

So in a way, those pictures were something to be grateful for.

But just as she was celebrating her 30th birthday alongside her wide circle of friends with an elaborate Alice in Wonderland themed party, her world was crumbling.

She said, quote, I always kind of knew that things were going to have to be different in my 30s because the way that I was living was not sustainable.

I should have been having such a good time.

I've got all my friends here.

I need to be enjoying this.

She said, the house I was staying in had a tower and I would just kind of lock myself in it instead.

I barely left the room.

There was this much need, there was this need for change, but I was fighting it so much.

I was welcoming in this new time, but I was also grieving.

It was like a funeral for my previous life, a goodbye to an era.

And so I decided I was going to party as hard as I could because this was the end.

By the next month, she said she realized she needed help if she was going to turn a new page on her life and her career.

From September, I just needed support.

I needed to start reaching out.

And my old friends I've known since I was 13, they all came over and we started crying.

They looked at me and said, you deserve a chance to have joy.

She soon entered rehab where she found an additional buttress thanks to a 12-step program.

She said, quote, this process obviously has its ups and downs, but I've started realizing so much.

People want my story to be this after-school special where I just say, oh, look, I was an addict and now I'm sober and that's it.

And it's not as simple as that.

It doesn't happen overnight.

Of course, I want things to be instant.

I think this generation, especially, we want things to happen quickly, but I've had to dig deeper.

Before, I was always into the quick fix of healing, going to a week-long retreat or to a course for trauma say and that helped for a minute but it didn't really ever get to get to the nitty-gritty deeper stuff this time i realized that 12-step treatment was the best thing and it was about not being ashamed of that the community made a huge difference the opposite of addiction is connection and i really found that in 12-step

Wow, I feel like I never expected this because, again, it reminds me honestly of Charles Kelly.

I think like Cara Delavine being like a big party girl hasn't even been like an open secret.

It's just like a a thing people knew.

There's like paparazzi photos of her accidentally dropping her keys and a bag of Coke flies out.

Like there's like, I think there's pictures of her doing like bumps on boats.

Like it's just like, that's her.

She's the party girl.

So for her to like really dive into.

the 12-step, like I love this for her.

I think this is great.

Yeah.

And I mean, I think that's what she's saying is like, she was the party girl.

She always knew that her 30s would have to be different because like that is not sustainable.

But I think getting to the other side of it was much harder.

It wasn't just, it wasn't just like, oh, well, I'll detox and go to a retreat and then I'll stop.

It's like, I'm addicted to this lifestyle and I need more help.

So the 12-step program, which has been successful for so many people is where she turned.

But I thought, oh, it was also interesting where she said, like, it's not like I was addicted and now I'm sober.

Like, I think she's still going through it and struggling with it, but she's obviously like.

made huge strides.

And I think the hardest part is just the accepting of the situation and realizing you're an actor.

And so she is, it seems, very much on the road to recovery.

And we've seen her a few times in the last few months.

And she, I mean, she always looks amazing.

Yeah.

On red carpets.

And they always, you know, she, like when she's glammed and she's, but then we saw her at that award show.

No, she's had like some really kind of bizarre, erratic behavior in the last year.

So to hear that she's been going through not only this like struggle with addiction, but also like kind of identity crisis about like her 20s and her 30s actually makes a a lot of sense.

Yes, it does.

And I'm glad that she's sharing that because I think it's something that a lot of people can relate to.

And also it helps us just understand her.

And she's someone who like so many people follow.

And I feel like she's already connected to her fans.

Like she was like the biggest model and the first like super model really on Instagram, like sharing so much.

And so she's not just someone who like we see from afar.

Like I feel like people, and her personality is so

like everyone's best friend.

So I feel like people will gain a lot from hearing her story.

Yeah.

I'm also just really happy for her.

Like, I think, you know, that lifestyle, that like, you know, socialite,

cocaine, party girl lifestyle, like that's a slippery slope.

So to, and you're at 30, acknowledge that it's a problem and, and work on it, I think probably saved her life.

Yes, definitely.

I'm happy for her.

I really am.

And a great cover and get for Vogue.

Yeah, and she looked beautiful.

And so we're always talking smack.

Yep, we are always talking smack about Vogue.

Yeah.

And I guess technically this could have been like a British Vogue, but American got it.

Wow, you're totally right.

A check in the column for American Vogue.

The score is now 2,000 to 1.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little TikTok news.

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Yeah, well, our next story, TikTok is launching a series feature, which lets creators sell premium episodes up to 20 minutes each.

TikTok is opening up a new monetization spigot for creators on the popular short form video app.

The Chinese-owned app announced Siries, a new way for creators to sell their stories as premium content.

With the Series feature available initially only to select creators, users can post collections of premium content behind a paywall that viewers can purchase.

Each individual series can include up to 80 videos, each up to 20 minutes long, giving the TikTok community, quote, a new, longer format to watch their favorite creators and content, the company said.

Right now, the maximum length of a TikTok video is 10 minutes.

And even that, like, nobody really uses.

I don't know how I feel about this.

Honestly, I don't know if TikTok is a platform for long-form content.

I mean, it does sound like a great thing to use for podcasts, like long-form.

I get it.

But I just don't feel like that's what people go to TikTok for.

Agree.

People's attention spans have been increasingly shortened by TikTok.

So then to like go back to long form,

it's like, that's like Netflix giving us binging and then dropping things episodically.

Like you invented.

We don't watch things for 20 minutes anymore.

And I don't think a 20 minute video is enough to titillate like the average TikTok user's brain.

Like they're, they, it's, it's all about like the scroll.

Like you watch 10 seconds of a video, like you don't even like it.

You just scroll.

It's, it's really not how users have been

behaving thus far on this app.

Yeah.

So it's bizarre.

I like that.

I do, what I do like about TikTok is like they do put creators first.

Like top of mind for creators is like a lot of people is there.

This is their full-time job.

So a lot of people make money off the creator fund, which is basically like YouTube ads.

Like you make money from just being a big persona on there, more so than Instagram.

TikTok really puts the creators like as a priority.

So that I like and just creating another revenue opportunity for creators is great.

But I don't see this like really panning out.

Yeah, I'm prepared to be wrong, but I think this is a flop of an idea.

Yeah.

I feel like there are some creators who might be able to parlay it into success.

Like if I think about like some of the cooking videos where it's really, really quick but it's like hey i actually want to make that like can we see a whole last 20 minute video of the recipe

i think like some of those people might have success but some people are just doing dumb

and i don't need i mean i'm not a tick tock user so

y'all don't need to be seeing 20 minutes of that you you liked and sometimes what you like about a video is that it leaves you wanting more so I don't know if people will go for this.

I don't know if people will pay for this.

And like people pay, like if I'm paying for something, I want a premium viewing experience I want to watch it on my TV I want it to be big budget production like not some crap ola on my phone

yeah I just don't like when these big apps like create habits for users and then break those habits like it's confusing yeah I think I think it's usually unsuccessful or it takes years

to have success and I don't know tick tock has like days weeks TikTok the clock is ticking TikTok the clock don't stop

Literally, like your time might be up soon.

But it is crazy how like on YouTube, if you have viewers, like you have money.

Same with TikTok.

If you are like a huge TikToker, can you live off the creator fund?

Live?

I mean, it depends where you live in.

But the creator fund in terms of like a CPM to YouTube is minimal.

But what's crazy is like, if you will have an Instagram, 20 million followers, unless brands are sponsoring you, you don't make money from the app right

and by the way

because Instagram copies whatever everything everyone does they have started to offer creators like subscriptions now

that and also reels bonuses which is very similar to like the tick tock creator fund on like getting you know $150 when you hit a certain amount of views so it's on a smaller scale and TikTok is is good with that but in terms of actual money offerings it's not nearly as good as YouTube and a lot of people feel like when they opt into the TikTok creator fund to start making money, their views actually go down significantly.

Yeah, I joined the creator fund when I first started TikTok and I think you have to have like 10,000 followers.

And I would check like once every six months and there would actually be $11 in there.

And I had seen people saying that, you know, their views were suppressed significantly when they joined the creator fund.

So I opted out because I wasn't even like, I also, okay, keep your $12.

Yeah, I want my views, baby.

I do.

I paid more first brand for my views.

Right.

Views are a form of currency too and i think they're more valuable than what the tick tock creator fund offers creators interesting very interesting

yeah youtube is really and even youtube isn't like they're compared to everyone else like they look like they're extremely generous but it's still

it's really not what creators should be get getting paid like it's no but like it's not what they deserve big youtubers make like millions of dollars from youtube ads yeah but they have like crazy engagement yeah but at least like

that's

something

it's a livable wage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, and there are a lot of TikTok creators who have millions of followers who are in the creator fund, but haven't quit their full-time jobs.

Like it's really supplemental income.

It's not, it can't really replace

just with the creator fund unless you're doing other things like starting a podcast and doing brand deals and writing a book and I don't know, whatever, a blog.

Just the creator fund is not

a replacement, but just being a YouTuber is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Everyone is launching subscription services like everywhere you go.

Instagram, like we said now, TikTok, Apple, Spotify.

Apple, Spotify.

I like Patreon.

Like,

and I feel like Patreon and OnlyFans cover the gamut of like extra content.

And if you are a creator, while these sound awesome, wow, an Apple subscription, I can, you know, I don't have to go to Patreon or anything that you make money on through an app in the A Store, Apple takes 30% of.

So when you do an Apple subscription for a podcast or you do a Spotify subscription and you're paying for it, just know 30% of what you're paying for does not go to the creator, which sucks.

And that's why platforms like OnlyFans and Patreon are so popular because

there's definitely like a small percentage like a processing fee, but it's not even comparable to the 30% that Apple takes.

Apple, it is, if you want to be on the app store, you literally have to, that's cameo too.

That's why if you were buying a Cameo from someone, do it on your computer.

Because that, if you send $100 on Cameo on a computer,

so if someone signs for our Patreon through the Patreon app.

Oh, that's a good call.

I don't know if you can sign up on the app.

You definitely can.

I feel like you could, I mean, I don't want to go.

That's a good call.

But like, I remember when I did Cameo for

like February, or I did it in June most recently.

Sometimes you would get

someone buying you a cameo and let's say your fee is $100 and sometimes you'll get 70 if they bought it through Apple and if they bought it through a computer, you get the 100.

Well no cameo takes a fee.

Well, yeah, but it's minimal compared to Apple.

Yeah, but it's still like 15 or 20%, no?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not that much.

Well, anyways, I like having all my stuff separate.

I go here for this.

I go there for that.

and i don't i don't even know if that's like sustainable and i feel like everyone's trying to make like one large ecosystem but

i don't know i but my large ecosystem is my phone the phone has everything right that's such and then i like to be organized within it she's so right the ecosystem is the phone right

yeah it's like the ecosystem is my apple tv and then i want all my apps depending on right what my mood is no you're so right like why do we have to make it more complicated than that?

Like, try so hard.

It's not only the one, but it's like, just be grateful for where you are and what you have.

Isn't it enough?

TikTok?

Isn't it enough, TikTok?

You're not making enough money.

You don't take up enough of people's time.

Ty ain't no.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Another creator, Judy Bloom.

and her fans explore the author's legacy in the trailer for a new documentary, Judy Bloom Forever.

Oh my god, that's so sweet.

The life and work of celebrated author Judy Bloom is set to be documented in the upcoming film Judy Bloom Forever.

On Wednesday, Imagine Documentaries and Prime Video exclusively shared the trailer for Judy Bloom Forever with people.

The documentary's trailer shows Bloom, 85, and her impact on her fans as the filmmakers explore the author's journey from fearful, imaginative child to storytelling pioneer who elevated the physical and emotional lives of kids and teens to be to banned writer who continues to fight back against censorship today.

It will be premiering at the Sundance Film Festival and

just as a celebration of Judy Bloom and the magic of an awkwardness of being young.

Straight facts.

Honestly, I haven't thought about Judy Bloom in years, but to deny her impact on me as a young woman would be disgraceful.

I love this.

Can you remind me what books...

Are you there, God?

It's me, Marcus.

Let me.

Did she also have that series with that nutty little girl?

Which one?

There were so many.

The fruity nutcake.

You know what I'm talking about?

Super fudge?

No.

Double fudge.

Tales of a fourth grade nothing.

Well, what's the one?

I think the one is Are You There, God?

It's Mega Me.

Of course, of course.

No, but they're.

Oh,

no, there's like all of these are irrelevant uglies.

Also, wasn't Ramona and Bezus?

Was it?

Blubber.

Blubber.

Oh, yeah, these covers, when you look at the covers, they really

bring back some sometimes.

Freckle juice.

Oh man, I'm so glad she's getting a documentary.

She's so sweet.

She was banned?

No,

she was banned.

I don't know.

Maybe like, Are You There God?

To me, me, Margaret was a little too

provocative.

Let me see.

Judy Bloom ban.

And by the way, it's important to know Judy Bloom is a Jewish queen.

We live for that.

People are fighting.

Double fudge.

That was like one of her more iconic books.

Yeah.

But there's like a book I'm thinking about, like a fruity nutcake.

Does anybody know what I'm thinking about?

There's another author.

I think it's Louis.

um

lewis sakar

who also wrote like the books that we read when we were this age

and like i'm just having a vivid memory but maybe it wasn't judy blue lewis satcher books oh he wrote holes

he wrote um

what do you keep saying that you think it is

fruity nutcake like i i'm having this like really vivid memory it's not rolled all

books You know, Roll Doll.

Do you see what?

And there's like this nutty sick figure on the, on the.

Look up Lewis Thatcher.

I feel like he might be your guy.

No.

And Lewis Thatcher is the one where you have to kiss your elbow, right?

I have literally no idea what you're talking about.

You don't?

Zero.

Maybe I'm thinking of Amelia Bedelia.

Queen.

If anybody knows what the fuck I'm talking about, like, please drop a comment.

Oh my God.

Yeah, this book, it's called, Is He a Girl?

And it's if you can kiss your elbow, but you can't, like, try kissing the tip of your elbow.

You can't.

It's so hard, but if you do it, you can turn into a girl.

Well, that book would not fly in today's climate.

Is he a girl?

No, I mean, so many of these books are.

Maybe that's what they're talking about when Judy Bloom was being banned.

Yeah, no, I think she was probably banned for being like, you know,

exploratory.

Well, she did talk about not sex, but like vaginal health in a sense.

Like it was very anatomical.

I honestly don't remember.

She was a queen.

I love her.

I'm glad she's getting a documentary.

I hope she wins some sort of film festival award.

Speaking of banned books, Roll Doll's books are being like rewritten.

Have you seen this?

Yeah, to be more, you know, PC with a fancy book.

Like Augustus Gloop isn't fat anymore, but he's like.

But he is.

I know.

So you can change the book.

I think he's like big as hell.

You can change the book, but you can't change facts.

No, and like his words.

And Augustus was a big boy.

He's mean to the story.

Oh, and by the way, like everyone is obese.

Are we erasing?

Are we erasing fat people?

The erasure of Augustus Gloop is disgusting.

It's disgusting.

And you know what?

I won't fucking stand for it.

I'm not into this.

You know what?

Things were different in the past.

Can we just leave it at that?

Yeah.

We have to rewrite.

And by the way, I like how there's no one talking about a Raul Dahl as like a raging anti-Semite.

But he was mean to the fat people.

Like, I'm gonna like Augustus.

You're gonna see where your priorities are.

Augustus is still big as hell in the book, and his weight is germane to the story.

Yeah, of course, because the reason he, uh, uh, he's like gluttonous.

So, like, congratulations, you did fucking nothing.

Congratulations, you played yourself.

Are you ready for our next story, which is one of our favorite subjects, Turdy Lou?

Yeah, yeah,

a Powerball winner who won the $2 billion Powerball Prize.

Files for bankruptcy.

Nope.

Is moving on up because he just bought a huge mansion in Hollywood for $25 million.

His neighbors will be Jimmy Kimmel and Ariana Grande.

And the house is fucking sickening.

Honestly, I would have done the same thing with my earnings.

Like, yeah, oh, I can't be a star.

I'll live with them.

Yeah.

He took his payment, so it came to $9.97 million before taxes.

That's insane.

Which is insane.

Before taxes.

So he's got about

half a bill.

Half a bill.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to assume, I wonder if lottery winners still get mortgages.

I hope he's being financially smart, like he has an advisor or something, because you should still get a mortgage, even if, like, there's no reason you should put down 25 mil, put down five.

Yeah, yeah.

But also, he's getting sued by a man that claimed that his winning lottery ticket was stolen, believing that Edwin is the name of the winner, was involved in the alleged theft.

But

Powerball is standing behind Edwin as the rightful winner.

And so does it say what else he's bought or is this his first big picture?

This is the first one that we know.

Oh, is this like the most recent?

The recent winner, the big Power Ball.

But we never got, like for a while, I feel like he didn't claim because things were quiet.

And we never even did a story on like, here's the winner.

His life is changing.

His name is Edwin Castro.

Where was he from?

Like California originally?

Or now he just, because he has the money, he wants to live in Holland?

Yeah, Yeah, that's a great question.

Who is Edwin Castro?

He was California.

Okay.

So he's not uprooting his entire...

Yeah, like hopefully his family's there and they can keep him grounded.

I just, I always worry about, you know, you think $2 billion, like I'll, you know, have money for generations, but not only do you get like 25% of it.

It's easy to run through money.

Yeah, so people think that they found he's a FIFA streamer.

They found his username and this is a message that he posted when he won.

It's unclear if this is like really him, but he shared a 10 second video of someone saying not to message him because they won't get a response.

Quote, I just want to say anyone that's got my number, please delete it.

I have no time for you anymore.

Please don't message me because you won't get a reply.

Life's changed now.

Yes, mic drop.

I'm out.

Poor people.

If you knew me before, you don't know me anymore.

You don't know the billionaire Edwin Castro.

Money changes people, and Edwin Castro is new.

I'm just not afraid to admit it.

Love and respect to him.

Yeah, I think when you win $2 billion, you have to change your phone number first and foremost.

100%.

Like the people that come out of the woodwork, like, hey, my foot hurts.

Can you take me away?

Yeah, or just like people who are like,

do I have this person's phone number from middle school?

Like, let me try.

All of a sudden, billions of texts.

No, and you really, there are so many phone numbers numbers out there.

Actually, there's this guy on TikTok who goes around and asks people who's the most famous person they have in their contacts.

Like, weirdly, everyone has someone's phone number who's like

celebrity adjacent because celebrities were normal for a while.

And some of them don't change their numbers.

And like, some of them, you know, you get drunk out at a bar, you give it out.

Like, people, people have phone numbers.

Yeah, or like someone knows someone who knows someone who, and it's like, everyone's like passing, like, oh my God, I have so-and-so's phone number.

By the way, like when I was in high school, I think Margo, somebody got Rachel Zoe's phone number.

and it was real and like we would text her and call her and like literally bother her and like she eventually changed you admitting to harassment

yeah i did that i did that when i was

really young i have a vague memory of one of my friends having courtney cox's phone number

she but i never tried or anything it was just like enough to just have it

that's funny

That's so you like just call her no

What if you just called Courtney up?

I wonder if I still have it.

Nah, I don't think I do.

Because at one point, I used to like change over all my contacts, but there was one time where I did it manually so that I only did the need to knows.

It was still like 10 years ago.

But now I don't have her.

Hmm.

Let me check if I still have Rachel Zoe.

Rachel?

I do.

Who's the most famous person in your phone?

Probably Gwyneth.

Yep, that'll do it.

That'll do it.

What about you?

Besides me?

I don't know.

I don't know, because everyone's like an influencer, you know?

What about Iris?

Yeah, I was actually just thinking Iris.

Yeah.

Iris Apfel is probably the most.

But that's pretty cool.

Yeah.

Was that our fifth and final?

It was.

Okay, great.

Let's dive into Deer Toasters, our weekly advice segment that we do every Wednesday.

If you ever want to write in, the email account is deartoasters gmail.com.

You could write in about anything.

in order to get chosen.

Keep it interesting, keep it brief, keep it funny, keep it turdy, you know?

Keep it turdy.

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You can choose what you want to include.

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It just feels better that way.

And why shouldn't insurance work like that too?

So true, Jax.

Like, we're so similar, but even our insurance plans are different.

You're like a home-owning game.

We have different needs, Turdy Lou.

Everyone thinks we're the same.

You have auto policies.

Everyone thinks we're the same, but we're not.

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All right, ready?

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Dear Jackson Claude, I'm a 21-year-old college student who was in a moral dilemma.

Growing up, I always had this favorite band.

Their concert I went to recently was near my university.

When I went to the concert, I had the opportunity to meet them.

One of the members talked to me a lot and we kind of hit it off and he asked to follow me on Instagram and then proceeded to DM me saying it was nice to meet me.

The next morning, I looked at his Instagram and to my surprise, I saw on his profile that he was married with three kids.

Around a year later, he DM'd me and told me he was going to be playing a concert near my school again.

He was messaging me and practically begging me to come back stage before the concert.

I went to the concert and I talked to him.

It was nice and chatty, but nothing I wouldn't have said if his wife was there.

After the concert, I told him that my friends and I were at the concert and that we were headed home.

He responded with, if I came back with you, what's in it for me?

I'm sure he's doing this with other girls he meets on touring, but do I DM the wife and let her know that her husband is actively trying to hook up with girls 10 years younger than him?

And I'm sure with others he is actually successful.

Does she need to know, or would I be causing drama where there doesn't need to be?

Sincerely, a girl who needs to find a new favorite band.

Girl, drop the name.

I'm kidding.

Oh, my God.

Like, I thought maybe at the bottom, like, she would tell us who it is.

No, I have to say, the way she describes it, it sounds like it's a band like we wouldn't maybe not know.

Like, it's like a small-time band.

Yeah, that's just a vibe that you can.

No, I got like new kids on the block.

Like, used to be cool.

Oh, I got like big time rush.

Big time rush.

Like, we're kind of not far off from each other.

You know, on some sort of like reunion tour, like had their heyday.

Yeah.

I don't know.

This seems like a situation where it's like, mind your business.

Yeah, she's like, it's like, if he is Hollywood, then, like, they might have some sort of thing going.

And

I don't know.

I mean, if it were me, I would absolutely want to know, but

I don't know.

I literally, I honestly do not know.

I know as like women, we like owe each other stuff, but like, this is not like a person, you know.

It's not like your friend.

I don't really feel honestly, she probably wouldn't even see the message.

And I would say there's probably a chance that she knows he's fucking around on the road.

I think most

spouses of touring artists know that.

So I don't feel like you would, it would be this big bombshell revelation.

I just feel like mind your business.

Yeah, I think I would just stay out of it.

I don't want to be in the middle of this.

And there's probably

stuff she does know.

Just

and might I suggest five seconds of summer for a new band?

It's all in five sauce.

None of them are married with three kids.

Yeah, that's true.

They're all young, so it's pretty harmless.

Like Backstreet Boys.

Yeah, I mean, if we wanted to, we could figure this out.

Drop a comment.

Who do you think it is?

How can we figure it out?

We literally couldn't.

There's so many old bands touring.

No, like band members who have three kids and wives that are still together.

Honestly, I don't feel like it's that.

Kevin Jones has two kids, right?

Yeah.

Oh, thank God.

Crisis overted.

Fucking, I can't believe that even came to the top of your mind.

Kevin Jonas would fucking know.

No, because I was just thinking about the Jonas brothers, them being a band that came back that you would like when you were younger.

And the other two, like, I have one and two babies for sure.

Like, I just needed to confirm.

Yeah, no, I think we can narrow it down to the kids are probably young.

Like, if you're looking at the person's Instagram and they have pictures with their kids, like, grown-ass kids don't take like a lot of photos with their parents.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know if you could say that.

And also, what are we considering a band?

Like, is this a duo?

Would we consider a band?

Because I had some on top of mind, even though they don't fit the profile.

I'm thinking, like, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block, big time rush, I guess.

Oh, and she said, growing up, I always had this band as my favorite.

Yeah, you're right.

Growing up.

If she's a toaster, I'm going to say she's about 30.

It's Backstreet Boys.

Or Nukids on the Block.

I don't know.

I I don't, I don't know.

Whoever knows the scene, you absolutely have to let us know.

We will not share.

Just we won't share.

I'm just curious now because I'm nosy.

I also want to know if we're getting warmer.

Right.

Are we on track at all?

Question mark.

How many kids does Nick Carter have?

That's an amazing question.

You guys,

the rest of the episode is going to be dedicated to figuring this out.

I think everybody's with us.

Three.

is he married for sure

yep

and by the way what we've learned about nick carter in recent months is that he's absolutely disgusting let's not forget he is uh

being accused of rape yeah raping a disabled fan

right so let's we not forget stay away from yeah and his wife knows

right so you there's nothing you tell her oh he dm'd based on the shit she probably already knows.

It's don't forget what Aaron accused him of.

Right.

All right, next.

And we got to the bottom, Jack.

And we can provide an answer, which is we don't need to say anything because she knows.

Yeah.

She knows.

And now we knows.

Hey, Jackson Jared.

I'm a relatively new toaster, and your show is the only thing getting me through my job.

I recently started as a lawyer at a big law firm, and I cannot function.

I'm on call basically 24-7, and I can never go a few minutes without looking at my phone.

It's taking over every aspect of my life, and now I live in constant states of anxiety.

Even worse, I was told by people on my team that I should not make any plans during the week since I've expected to always be around.

However, everyone on my team is married and I'm the only single one.

So they don't understand that I need to date during the week.

I can't just go out on weekends.

The only way for me to do this is to check my phone every 20 minutes or so on a date so I can communicate with work.

Is this okay to do on a date?

I know on dates, especially at the beginning, that I find it rude when guys check their phones.

So it's so hypocritical if I do it.

How do I go about doing this?

P.S., I tell myself every day that I'm quitting to get me through.

So any suggestions that are welcome that involve me keeping my job.

Okay, well, I just want to say getting a job at a big, like one of those big law law firms is a huge accomplishment.

So congratulations to you.

And they pay really well.

Yeah, they pay really well.

And like you have a track for your career.

And if you like, you know, keep working hard, like big things will come your way.

So I don't think that you should quit.

And like you went to law school, like what are you going to do?

Like you're doing what you should be doing.

But like if I were dating and I went on a date with like a big lawyer and he was really like successful and like he really was doing the things he says he was doing.

And like at the beginning of the date, he was like to me, like, I'm so excited to be here.

I just have to check my phone like every 20 minutes because of work stuff because I'm like such a big deal.

I just, I don't want you to think it's rude.

I think that you could try that.

Like I think I would be understanding.

Like if I like this guy, I could give him a pass to check his phone every 20 minutes, especially if like he's going to be a big success.

No.

And then you get to check your phone every 20 minutes, which is awesome for you too.

Yeah.

I think think being like totally transparent about it in the beginning is fine.

I also think I would,

is there like a woman on your team who's married who you could just like ask, like if you're friendly with, be like, girly, like, how do you live like this?

Like, you're married.

How did you meet your husband?

Like, also, it would also be beneficial for you perhaps to date another lawyer.

So, you know, they understand the hustle and the bustle.

So if there's any cuties in your office, check it out.

But then it's like, but ask the girl.

You know, this reminds me of a book that I read called The Boys Club by Erica Katz.

It's literally about a girl who's like working in big law and she, you know, kind of spirals.

And it might actually be too close to home for you to read, but I enjoyed it.

So maybe you should read it.

But it doesn't sound like you've all had time.

But I also really like the idea of you like asking a superior, not a superior, but like somebody who's married, who obviously was on the same track as you and just being like, hey, question mark, if everyone else is married, it's clearly a possibility.

Be like, how did you meet your husband?

Like, how did you, I'm like really struggling to date because I don't want to drop the ball on work stuff.

So you have any advice for me, sister?

That's a great question.

And to find a way to like understand like what needs to be addressed like some things are not need to do this minute exactly so i don't know how long you've been there but maybe just after a certain amount of time you'll be better at like a lot of people you know they move the mouse on their computer and they're still working you know yeah so something like that but i would start with transparency and be like listen i'm a big shot find a better way to say it uh and i just need to check my phone every 20 minutes i hope that you're not offended because i'm really excited to be here but like i also yeah i take a lot of pride in my job and i'm a really big deal deal and i work really hard i think people really respect um honesty if i were on a date with someone and they said that i would have no problem with it

me neither if they just right off the bat said i'm not like you know bored i just like absolutely have to check my phone every 20 minutes so i don't lose my goddamn job and be like oh jobs am i right and then that's a great thought start

that would actually like annoy me like a little bit because it's like is he counting down like to the 20th minute to check his phone is okay but then you're overthinking what i'm saying even

You're overthinking it.

Yeah, give it a shot.

Or find like someone else with a really demanding job, but then like, how would you guys ever meet?

Because you both have like two free minutes a week.

Lunch.

A working lunch.

Let us know how it goes.

Third and final, dear Turde Lou and Jax, hearing you say it's so rude to have no regard for your partner's sleep has really opened my eyes to my own relationship and I need your help.

I sleep over at my boyfriend's place frequently during the week because he refuses to park his truck on the street at my place, so I go to him.

He has to wake up for work hours before I do, and for a while now, when he wakes up, he turns on all the lights in the apartment and makes me leave when he does.

To give you context, he's got a one-bedroom apartment, and he not only turns on the bathroom light and living room light, both with the doors open to the bedroom, but he also turns on his bedroom light while I'm still sleeping and makes me leave before 7 a.m.

when I don't really need to be up before 9.

After hearing you speak on this, I told my boyfriend that I would really like it if he did not turn on the bedroom light while I'm sleeping because it just dawned on me how selfish that behavior is.

He then told me I was rude for asking that of him and that he, quote, pays for his places in the lighting bills so he can do whatever he wants with them.

For more context, we've been dating for a year.

He's 30.

And this just all seems like childish and selfish behavior from someone I thought I'd be engaged to this year.

What would you do?

A confused toaster?

I mean, it's hard to like, you know, I obviously need more context, but your boyfriend sounds like a prick.

Yeah, and it's like, if he's

like, if he's being a prick about the lights, like he's probably a prick elsewhere.

I think you should just start to be like, listen, I'm really tired.

I don't want to get up at 7 a.m.

when I don't have to.

I'm going going to sleep at my place.

And just like, put your foot down and see if he comes to you a little bit or can meet in the middle.

And like, you should be, if he's your boyfriend of a year, you should be able to stay in his place and not have to leave when he leaves.

That's fucking weird.

That's like he doesn't trust you.

And like the sheer fact that he won't make the effort to go to your apartment because he has to park on the street, take an Uber, ride a bike, walk.

But it does sometimes make sense.

There's always one person's apartment.

Where it makes more sense to stay at.

For sure.

But to refuse to go to your girlfriend's apartment because you don't want to to park, like he obviously sounds like he literally sounds like a lazy oak.

Oh, he sounds not like a lazy oak, like a dictator.

Yeah, no, he sounds like a prick, honestly.

Like, and I would be curious if this sort of energy and behavior funnels its way into other aspects of your relationship.

I'd be shocked for sure.

There's no reason he needs to turn on the bedroom lights.

There's no reason why you have to get up at 7 a.m.

The kicking you out is the most shocking thing.

That's like what you do with a booty call.

Right, it's so rude.

Like, throw them cab fare and get out.

Scram.

There's, no, and the fact that he doesn't let you be in his apartment when he's not there is also cause for concern.

Yeah.

Mikasa casa.

I'm going to start spending the night at your place more.

I want to just be able to sleep in.

And see if he comes to you.

I pay the lighting bills at my place, so I'm just going to pay them here and use the lights how I want to use them.

I'm just going to enjoy my life.

Yeah, it sounds like torture.

Yeah, and see if he comes to you.

And if not, then you realize like you're the one who's been literally putting in all the effort to everything.

Let us know how that goes.

That's our show, John.

It is Turty Lou bon voyage on your travels.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Bon Voyage, Turtle.

Bon Voyage, Turtle Lou.

I hope you have a safe light.

I hope you have a wonderful time with your popular friends.

Thanks.

I'll be sure to fill you in on all the details of what the popular girl said about you.

Please don't.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please hope you subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts into our podcast we found.

So Spotify, Twitter, podcast we are cast by the pleasures

you better be able to wickedly talented.

We are.

Hope you guys have a great day.

We love you, and we will see you back in studio on

Monday, but we'll see you tomorrow on the Patreon episode.

We'll be up early in the morning, probably earlier than the toast is usually up if you're looking for content.

And

perhaps Friday as well.

Turdy and I are working on it.

Coordinate.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye.