Tom and Raquel. What Else Is There?: Monday, March 6th, 2023

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Monday.

I know it's dreadful, but there's so much that needs to be discussed.

Like, don't even worry about it, okay?

It takes the dread out of Monday because I just, there's so much to say.

So much has been unfolding over the weekend.

Aside from all the drama, the Vander Pump Rules drama, like so much, so much content this weekend.

Like, I feel like I'm all caught up on pop culture, which is not a feeling I feel very often these days.

So I just have a lot to say.

Yeah, there's so much to discuss.

Of course, pump rules made your bombshell on a Friday afternoon.

And you know, like the way, you know, this is a big deal because it was a Friday afternoon.

Like people don't care about stuff.

If you're looking to bury a piece of news, you release it on a Friday afternoon.

The way it has carried through, it is everywhere.

Twitter, like people who don't know.

It's kind of like, remember when like...

two months ago, the Try Guys had like big drama and everyone was talking about it.

And we're like, what the fuck is the Try Guys?

That's happening for people who don't know about Vander Pump Rules.

Yeah, because Because this is one of the craziest things that could have happened in the Vanderpump rules universe in reality TV, period, honestly.

Yeah, and things keep coming out.

So, like, even this morning, there's like new news, and there's just so many layers to this, and everybody has an opinion.

There's so many cast members, it's just you could go on and on and on.

And everyone's getting involved, nobody's staying silent except for Raquel.

Yeah,

we'll talk about everyone's getting involved, nobody's staying silent.

Sure.

I'm also all just caught up on Vanderpump Rules.

I figured, you know, I need to get back on track because shit's about to pop off.

Apparently, they were filming.

Yeah.

So Zach and I watched Vanderpump Rules Friday night after the news dropped.

And we've been keeping up.

And I should have watched that episode last week, but I didn't.

And the way I literally could not even watch the show.

I was so

blinded by what had happened.

Like everything Raquel did.

I was like, how dare she?

Like, literally.

It was so crazy to watch it knowing what we know

It's almost frustrating because everything we're seeing yet's like cool to like look for now that we know look for clues But it's annoying like what's going on?

No I need a live stream right now.

What's so crazy is I was looking at the date.

So they said they've been having an affair for seven months, which would mean it started in July 2022.

The Schwartz and Sandy's daily mail party was in July of 2022.

So like the affair is starting to happen.

And it's crazy to watch people lying.

This whole like Schwartz kissing thing is complete decoy.

Yeah.

And you're just like watching everyone lie.

And so if it was completely irrelevant and they didn't even have started anything, like I would say, yeah, like let's catch up.

But I find this fascinating.

I thought we were like a few months out, honestly.

So that's super interesting.

Thank you for sharing.

Jackie and I are going to be breaking down the entire saga as one of the stories.

We're also going to be talking about Chris Rock's new special, which live streamed on Netflix, which was pretty cool.

I watched it not live.

I watched it live.

I was a part of something.

That's exciting.

No, that's exciting.

I was a part of something.

We waited.

We turned it on early.

Leslie Jones was doing standards.

And then we watched live.

And there was so much to discuss.

It's a story.

We're going to talk about the biggest bombshells and our overall thoughts.

Great.

SNL was also on.

It was a big weekend for the Kelseys, Travis, Jason, and Kelsey.

I have to say, it was a really, really, really like atrocious episode.

Like, maybe one of the worst in terms of writing.

Travis, there was like a few funny moments.

Like, Travis, as an American girl dad, like single doll dad, like that was funny and cute.

And he had some good lines.

I thought Heidi Gardner did a really actually hysterical job in the sketch where she runs into her boyfriend in the bar.

And then Jason Kelsey.

Jason Kelsey saved that sketch.

The show was positively dreadful.

And I only watch SNL when there's someone that I want to see.

And every single time I come away with the same thought, like, this is the greatest comedic minds in America.

Like, aren't we embarrassed?

Like, I found that to be embarrassing, that that's what passes for comedy.

Yeah, there were a few sketches that like didn't make me clench my butt cheeks and cringe.

Straight male friend.

Hilarious.

I don't know about hilarious, but it was

comedy.

It was excellent well.

And I have to say, Travis Kelsey did a really good job of being like an actor in the lines and the delivery and not losing focus.

Like I was very impressed by him as a host.

I thought he did a really good job in the sketches that were terrible.

Same.

And in his opening monologue, he did say this wasn't his first time hosting a show.

I love that he referenced Catching Kelsey and they like showed us a clip.

I can't believe they showed us a clip.

I know, no.

And it makes sense because NBC is Peacock, whatever.

Obsessed, like obsessed beyond belief.

We're all thinking it.

And now he finally said it.

And it's just, it's a joy to

to be seen like that no i i just can't believe that like catching kelsey was referenced on snl because it's such even when he said like it's owned by nbc universal so it should be on peacock but they said nah they said nah um i wish they're missing out they're missing out I wish they did a little bit more with his family.

Like Jason and his mom were in the opening monologue, and then Jason had a one-second thing in the sketch.

I wish they kind of leaned on them more.

I don't know whose choice that was, but

okay.

Like, give give us more.

I feel like maybe it was because Jason like couldn't get up to New York until maybe the last minute.

So they weren't going to like give him lines and stuff.

He was a pro.

Honestly, when he went in that sketch, I was like, he's a good actor.

Like, I felt,

I felt like I was watching, you know, a sketch.

It was a real sketch.

Yeah.

It was so good when that moment happened.

The rest was so terrible.

Yeah.

I can't, like, it was really horrible television.

Yeah.

I was in shock.

Yeah, me and Ben were like shocked.

And I was was so ready.

Like I have a low bar.

If I'm excited, I was so excited about Kelsey Ballarini.

I was so excited about Travis Kelsey.

Like my bar was low for me to like it.

And so for me to, me and Ben both walk away and be like, wow, that was really not funny.

It was, it must have been really bad.

No, it was painful and embarrassing.

And we got so much behind the scenes content of Chase and Kelsey.

Like Chase was there the whole time and they were hanging out with Travis.

And it was.

Stokes.

Oh, I didn't see anything.

Oh, he was posting like a ton of photos.

Where?

On his Instagram?

Yeah, like so proud of you, my love.

On the stories?

Yes.

Damn, I don't follow him.

And I actually just was on his Instagram in the feed checking stuff out.

And it probably was in the stories and I missed it.

Stories.

And Kelsey posted some pics of them and she made some TikToks because he was like there the whole weekend like for rehearsals and stuff.

It was really cute.

That's insane that they're so

serious and public.

No, it's crazy.

Also,

we were wrong.

She performed two songs from Rolling Up the Welcome at.

She did Blindsided and Penthouse.

She sounded really good vocally on penthouse.

Like she, because she has been playing that song live.

That's not the first time she's played it live on her tour in the UK this last week.

She played it at every single show.

So she's had like good practice and she's worked on like some new, some new runs and some new riffs and it sounded really good.

And then blindsided was the first time she had ever played it.

She added that new verse at the end, which was clearly like direct

to

random.

You said you would have searched the whole world over.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

And that was.

That's really funny is when we talked about his song on the show like two weeks ago i said i was saying how i thought his song was sweet like i would have searched the whole world over for you and i'd be a shoulder for you and you said yeah sure okay yeah like well we just found out that you didn't no and i was but you didn't But you did it.

And that was the message from her verse.

And I enjoyed that very much.

I did too.

She sounded amazing.

She looked amazing.

I like that she tried to do blindsided as like a pop moment and then have her like serious piano ballad.

I stand by.

Those are not the songs I would have chosen.

I really wish she did something from Heart First.

Like the world will never, like, I get it.

Like I get the choice.

Like the EP is having this moment.

You're right.

It's like this very grassroots Olivia Rodrigo thing.

So people are tuning in for the EP, but those people who are tuning in are just bandwagoners.

Like they don't even know the magic.

Those people who are tuning in for Kelsey love Kelsey.

Like I love Kelsey.

I'll listen to any song she performs and I'm going to love it.

But I just feel like.

No.

I disagree.

Like all the hoopla, people who didn't know who she was, like they're here for the EP.

Like the EP is connecting with so many people.

They don't even know.

Yeah, like they don't even know

the great hits prior to this.

Has the EP really won her that many new fans musically?

I think so.

I think so.

Especially then with Call Her Daddy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I understand like publicly, like in the, like as a personality, with the Call Her Daddy and the drama and the divorce, like people now are talking more about her, but musically.

I think so.

I really do, especially like from what I've seen on TikTok, like people who have never really ventured into country and certainly people who might not have known who she she was, but who resonate with, you know, either divorce or breaking up or whatever.

It's speaking to a lot of people.

So I get the decision.

It was a good strategy.

No, and I would have been happy with two songs off of Rolling Up the Welcome Matt that were a different two.

Like even

what's the first one?

Mountain with a View.

Mountain with a View and the last one.

Lose Me Again.

Yeah.

No, Penthouse.

Oh, oh, okay.

Yeah.

I just like, I am so, I'm still so in my subject to change era.

Like, I feel

it's so good.

Like, it's, and for people to have really heard that, like, I feel like that's so Kelsey, and that's really her, her general genre.

This

EP is, it's not really always what she, the type of stuff she puts out.

So, I would have loved to have seen like Heart First, the Little Things, if you go down, something.

But it's like a bigger song.

I wanted a bigger song.

Yeah, I agree.

Like, and a really Kelsey song.

But she, she sounded amazing.

You could tell she was singing live.

Like, she hit like every note.

She has a beautiful voice.

I loved her looks.

That's what you get when you dive into country.

Like, you're not going to get some flop who doesn't doesn't know how to sing and is going to like have background vocals that you can't even hear their voice because, like, they're not as good live.

You're never going to get that with country.

And that's why I stand country music.

Like, they never, they never disappoint.

And turdy Lou, it's not surface lyrics.

Certainly not surface lyrics.

And I think Ben would say the same.

I think he would say the same.

I think he has said the same.

I can tell you for a fact that he has.

So it was just like a big content weekend.

Yeah.

Other than that, how was your weekend on a personal, social level?

It was great.

I read a lot.

I did

I finished yesterday in just a matter of hours that thriller that's all over my Goodreads, The Perfect Marriage.

You've probably seen the cover, Two Rings and a Lot of Blood.

Excellent.

Really, I tore through it, gave it four out of five stars.

I'm glad it's my list.

Kept me on the edge of my seat.

They did not tell you what you wanted to know to literally the bitter end.

That's annoying.

I would have given it five stars, but the ending, I don't know.

I wouldn't have chosen, you know, that person to be the murderer, you know?

Ooh.

Okay.

It felt like a little...

But it was a great book.

And it really, it held my attention all day.

I couldn't put it down.

So that was great.

I also read Mile High, which is like a series of books that everyone said I would really like.

And I didn't really like it.

So I'm not going to read the second series.

But then that always happens.

People are like, the second is so much better.

So then you're like, all right, then you get sucked in.

But I...

I read it.

It wasn't my favorite.

And I'm moving on.

When is the second so much better?

That's a good question ted 2 is a real contender not oh no no no but it's but ted 2 is just as good no not just as good it's good it's really really really good ted 1 is masterful masterpiece yeah no was next on my list descendants 2 is really good

i would say

hmm wait i got one high school musical three

three

always one and three are good except in descendants it's one and two and three is horrible twilight new moon second is probably my least favorite.

Hangover, one and three are good.

It's the curse of the second film.

But there was something that was perfect.

There was something recently where like the second was kind of better than the first that we were just talking about.

I don't know if we'll be able to grasp it.

Was it pitch perfect?

No.

I don't even remember.

No, oh my God, two was so bad.

They were like at camp and like it was horrible.

At camp?

Yeah, I think they were at like a cappella camp.

I just remember like Rebel Wilson on a lake.

Make it stop.

Oh, and then they went to the international.

Three.

We bring it back.

That was three.

Oh, okay, okay.

Because that one was excellent with Haley Seinfeld.

I'm just saying, if anyone can remember, a two

that was almost better than the one.

We were just saying.

Yeah.

Well,

no, your theory stands correct, even with Bring It On.

Bring It On sequel.

What was the second one?

Because the third one was Solange and Hayden Panatier, which is.

No, that wasn't.

I don't think that was the third one.

I think there were a lot.

But the second one was

in college.

It was some girl named like

Winifred.

It's always a Winifred.

Okay, so you're saying Solange is not the second?

No.

Because that one's so good.

But those aren't sequels.

Those are just like remakes.

Spin-offs.

You're right.

Bring it on is kind of its own caliber of film.

You can't compare.

All right.

Well,

I guess we'll never know.

Maybe it's that Greek wedding.

Yes.

Yes.

The second is excellent.

You know what?

The second is really, it's not just as good, but it's excellent.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, that's also like, they didn't run into a sequel.

There was this like this grassroots organic movement begging for 10 years, give us a sequel.

So it really, I feel like sometimes they give a sequel.

And it's like, well, nobody really asked.

Yeah.

But not with Greek wedding.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, I feel like we have so much business to handle today that we should really dive.

Oh, sorry.

I'm sorry.

How was your weekend?

Thank you, Turdy Lou.

It was great.

It was low-key.

Lots of family time.

I sliced my fingers open, trying to cut up some cheese.

And it was really nice other than the slicing.

Just great times with Harry, Liz.

And Harry, Harry was like, what?

Saying, what about me?

Like, don't hold back.

Just tell me everything.

Oh, he was just saying like, Auntie Koya would love this.

Auntie Koya should be here.

Where's Auntie Koya?

And I just kind of had to redirect him because I didn't want him to focus on what's not here, you know?

Right.

And he was probably like, wow, I could really use a song right now.

Yeah.

He needs a lot of songs to get through the day.

And what about Preggie O?

How you feeling?

I'm feeling good, thank you.

So much better, like in this trimester, in this season, like still fatigued, but way like night and day.

So just trying to do everything I can in the hours where I have energy.

And

what was my follow-up question?

It was kind of a good one.

Oh, does it also just feel so much better like now that people know?

Like, like you can like wear a shirt that's like, whatever, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, not so much for wear a shirt, but just so that, like, I can just be honest about, like, how I'm feeling.

Like, if I were to say, if you were saying, how are you this weekend?

And I was just like, good and tired.

It's like, okay, lazy bitch.

Anything else?

Yeah, now it's like, I'm pregnant.

Then he got a lot of stuff.

I'm creating life.

I'm creating a life.

What are you doing?

What did you do this weekend, wench?

Yeah, because I created a life.

Creating.

It's a long process.

Yeah, maybe I created a life too.

Bomb chick-a-wah-wong.

I would love that.

Join maternity leave.

I didn't.

But I did.

Okay, let's dive in.

Okay, to the fast five stories that you absolutely need to know today.

Like, if you're going to listen to one episode.

Actually, I don't want to say the rest of the week.

I don't want to say nothing's going to happen, but this is

a big one.

So without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome, Jackie.

Our first story, we'll start from the beginning of the news.

Friday afternoon, TMZ reported that Tom Sandoval and Ariana Maddox called it quits amid allegations that he cheated with co-star raquel levis

show sources told tmz ariana found about found out about the alleged cheating in the last couple of days till last week and ended things with tom shortly thereafter they're told producers got word of what went down and made the decision to fire up the cameras with the entire cast to document the fallout in the coming days and the hope is they'll be able to get it into the season currently airing yes they weren't filming anymore because the season's airing but they got cameras in there.

So I'm sure the season will end and then it will be like four months later.

Everyone's doing interviews.

They're filming people's conversations.

What's interesting, TMZ says, is that Ariana was with Tom as recently as Wednesday to celebrate the release of his new single and perform with his band.

However, sources close to Tom tell.

TMZ the two of them have been on the outs for some time now.

So I think there was rockiness in their relationship, but to have a seven-month affair with someone's best friend is, you know, beyond rockiness.

Yeah.

So the way it went down from what i understand and like literally i feel like because there are so many cast members who actually know what happened like they're just telling every anyone who will listen so after tom show wednesday night he had a tom then the most extra show which i have to talk about yeah uh raquel saw a text pop up i mean ariana saw a text pop up from raquel on tom's phone and it was a video of raquel very sexual in nature

and then she started scrolling through text and saw more inappropriate things and confronted Tom and found out they had been having a seven-month affair.

Raquel had just done Watch What Happens Live with Sheena.

Sheena found out about it and apparently slapped Raquel in the face and is no longer speaking with Raquel.

Well, I have to say, one of my initial thoughts when catching up on the season was like, my God, did Sheena plant her flag in the wrong friend?

Yeah.

Like she's really writing, like making enemies out of everyone just to like support Raquel.

Sheena's horrible this season, but this episode.

like that's a separate conversation.

This episode is not about Sheena,

but she's horrible.

So I feel like for me, this would have blown up anyway, but the second the TMZ article came out, James Kennedy posted a screenshot of the article

on his because when I first saw this, I was like, there's no way that's true.

Like,

no way, no.

But when James posted it, it said, this is true.

And then everyone else started getting in.

So for me, like, James really blew it up.

And I, felt so many emotions.

I mean, first, like, I, not to make everything about me, like, I felt so vindicated because I feel like for years, like, there have been like, you know, a decent amount of people who are obsessed with Tom Sandoval.

And like, I've just known from, like, I just know, like, I can fucking read people.

Like, I knew this man was fucking horrendous.

And to watch his like midlife crisis with his stupid band like sorry you can't sing to watch this and just watch how over the last years he has really been horrible to Katie, to Tom, to Stasi, to Jax.

And I know like nobody feels bad for Stasi and Jax, but it's important in the context of like the history here.

I hate this man.

I know this man is evil.

And I now have motherfucking proof and everybody sees what I've been seeing for years.

I mean, we've been saying this.

And I think a lot of people feel vindicated.

Like, I know a lot of people feel vindicated like because they have said, like, not trusted Tom over the years.

You know, Lala feels very vindicated that she never really liked Raquel.

I always thought Tom was like extremely cringe and self-centered and narcissistic and

like obsessed with the show and the fame, like to an end to a point of delusion, like starting a band.

This cheating on your girlfriend of 10 years with one of her best friends and have not just like we got, we're drunk and we hooked up.

A seven-month affair is fucking diabolical.

It is.

But when you really look into it, it's really not.

Tom Sanova was with Kristen for eight years.

And I know they claim that everything they did was like, you know, kosher, but like, I think we all know it wasn't.

He left.

I'm convinced it wasn't.

I kind of am.

I think like everyone has like just kind of come to terms with it.

And it was like, okay, whatever, but they're together and in love now and they're like not married, but they're in this partnership.

They have a house.

Like, you know what?

We all move on.

Like even Kristen.

Yeah, I don't, but even if there were some moments of like impropriety, I...

Kristen and Ariana were not friends.

Like this is, I mean,

there were a couple moments of like maybe kissing or something, but not.

No, I mean, this is next level, like Ariana and Raquel being best friends.

Best friends and it being a full-on affair.

Yeah, I honestly, it's so crazy, but I do think like how you get them is how you lose them sort of thing.

And I'm not in any way like blaming Ariana by any means, but I wasn't like, once I sat down and thought about it, like I wasn't that shocked.

Honestly, the real shocking part is the Raquel of it all.

Like not only would Tom choose a girl who's so close with his girlfriend, but how Raquel could go the last seven months, like being so up Ariana's ass, going to all these things with Tom and Ariana.

And we thought she was going for Ariana, but she was going for Tom.

That's like a diabolical level, especially because what we've seen over the last few years with Raquel on the show is like she's kind of this like spineless mute.

Like she doesn't really defend herself.

She's kind of quiet.

She remembers she cried last year because she couldn't even make a toast in front of a bunch of people.

Like, it's just, she's not the type of girl you would expect this behavior from.

No, I don't know who she she is.

Like,

one, the Raquel we're seeing this season is different from Raquel's of the past, but we just, you know, attributed it to her like coming out of her shell, maybe making some mistakes along the way.

She's obviously drinking a lot.

So maybe having, you know, a rough night here or there, but like a seven-month affair is beyond, you know, getting a little too drunk.

I don't understand this person.

I don't know this person.

How could you do something like this?

How could anyone do something like this to a friend, let alone someone who's like brand for lack of a better word is like being nice and shy and sweet yeah it's um it's so crazy all the all the castmates have spoken out i said this to you like two weeks ago like rokel is gonna save this show and when i said it i didn't even know what she was up to but she has become the center of the show and now in a huge way

But we know, and I know that these are people's lives, but in terms of the show, like this is, people said the show would never be the same without like Jackson Stasi, all the drama from season one, the smacking, Kristen and Jax.

This is Pump 2.0.

Like I never expected, for me, the show was on its way out.

Like it would, even though the season is good and their stuff, the show was slowly dying.

This has breathed new life into the franchise.

Like everyone really should be thanking Tom and Raquel because.

So many people have started watching Vanderpump Rules this weekend, like who have never even watched a single day.

And people who watched for years but took time off know who Raquel and and Tom Sanduel and Ariana are.

They're back in and they're watching this season now.

And the people who have been watching, like me, who I, I've just associated, like, I don't need all the drama in order for me to like it.

I just like some of the people.

But now I'm like, oh my God, it's top of mind.

So in that, from an entertainment value perspective, like they have sued the show.

100%.

And also, like, for all the cast members who are so mad at Tom and Raquel, like, they can't stop talking about it.

And they're, you know, going on Instagram stories and they're popping off.

And everyone, it's so weird how everyone feels the the need to post Team Ariana.

It's like, there's no other team to be on.

No, literally.

And I feel like I actually have had like a unique relationship with Ariana in terms of my, I really have never fully like loved her just because she's with Tom Sandoval.

Like I have a deep hatred and I don't really understand how anyone could like him.

But now that not only is she not with him, she probably fucking hates him.

I feel like I'm about to build this ship so big for just Ariana.

Like I feel, I feel ready to stand like I've never stand before.

I think that's how everyone feels both in the cast and outside of the cast.

And she's always been like a really great level-headed character within the show.

Always weird to us that she was with Tom and could be with Tom.

And defend Tom.

That's always like her fatal flaw.

Yeah, but she also then in private is like Tom.

You know, which I always respect.

She's not like up his butt.

So

true.

I think this people are like those sorts of like feelings of loyalty towards someone and just like riding for them.

That's what engenders, no, but like a really good show to have such strong like feelings of you want to see this person succeed.

So now everyone's like buying up her ready to make cocktails and everyone's trying to like, you know, throw their money in support of Ariana, boycotting Tom, Tom, and Schwartz and Sandy's.

Well, so that brings me to Tom Sandoval's story.

I have it right here.

Oh, okay.

So Tom Sandoval was silent on the matter for, you know, 24, 48 hours.

And then he put out a note that that he wrote saying, Hey, I fully understand and deserve your anger and disappointment towards me, but please leave Schwartz, my friends, and family out of this situation.

Schwartz specifically only found out about this very recently and most definitely did not condone my actions.

This was a very personal thing.

Also, Schwartz and Sandy's might have my name on it, but also there are three other partners and 20 employees who especially rely on the restaurant for income from them and their families.

Just like Tom, Tom, I'm a small part of a much bigger thing.

Please direct your anger towards me and not them.

They did nothing wrong.

I'm so sorry that my partners, Greg, Brett, and Schwartz and our employees have to suffer for my actions.

I will be taking a step back in a hiatus out of respect for my employees and partners.

I need some time to address everything else.

Sorry for everything.

Okay, so like, tell me all you care about is money without telling me all you care about is money.

Like he didn't apologize to Ariana, to his friends.

Like he just apologized and was like, but please, like, don't take it out of my stupid fucking restaurant with a terrible name.

Yeah, it's weird that.

This statement's not going to change anything for the people who are insistent on boycotting his businesses.

But it's like, when you're a public figure, you get the success of your business because of your public persona.

Like, and they're all there for you when times are good.

Like if they're in your boat, they're in your boat when it sinks too.

Yeah, no, it's kind of delusional.

I do, I do feel bad for that guy, Greg, who's clearly like an actual businessman with experience and knowledge because he was on the Schwartz and Sandy's Instagram responding to comments, fighting for his life.

Like, I feel bad for him because he put, you know, so much of his time, money, and energy into two fucking morons.

And this, you know, when the pendulum swings high, it swings high, you know, daily mail party.

Everyone wants to be at our thing we we don't need to run any ads and people will be lining out the door but when the pendulum swings the other way you know when your whole brand is like you said built off your public persona you have to be able to withstand that too because that's the business you're in right and when you make decisions in your personal life like you have to know that they can affect your business because when your business is your personal life yeah yeah yeah

the statement was trash um And like, trust me, I get it.

Like, I'm a business person too.

Like, one of my major concerns at this time would be this business I just launched.

But for, you know, public perception, like my God, at least pretend to give a shit about Ariana or like the people you just stompled over in your affair.

Like to simply address this dumb fucking restaurant is,

he's so, he's so calculated and so kind of,

what's the word I'm looking for?

He's like, he just, his intentions are so obvious.

And the fact that he didn't even try and cover it up and be subtle in his statement really just proves what kind of like low life he is.

Well, there's nothing he could say right now, especially right now.

Like,

don't say anything about Ariana.

There's no apology that, like,

anybody wants to hear.

Like, this is going to be like a long

road to rehabilitation for his image.

And, you know, an apology on Instagram is not going to.

Nobody wants to hear it right now.

But I think he thought that reminding people that there are people who work for the business that have families

would

touch people's hearts.

Oh, dear.

Yeah.

But again, that's really not the responsibility of Bravo fans.

Yeah.

It's not.

So

that's all we have for him.

Raquel is

quiet.

Raquel, like, there have been rumors about Raquel and her Crisis PR team on Dumois and what sort of route they're taking.

They say that she's actually going to break up with Tom Sandoval, which I think she should not do.

The only way out of this is to be together forever.

Yep.

If she breaks up, it reminds me of Ariana.

No, it doesn't remind me at all, honestly.

Like, it does.

Like, it was so, like, and then remember, um, Vegas Girl, like, Kristen just really wanted to prove to everyone that, like, yes, she's crazy, but like, Tom made her crazy.

Like, she thinks he cheated with Ariana.

He's also cheated with this Vegas girl.

Like, he is a cheater.

And I feel as though she's been enormously vindicated.

Oh, she has been, but I feel like she was for a while.

And also in the fact that Tom and Kristen had a horrible relationship.

And we saw that in every episode, every single day.

And by the time they broke up, it was, it was like Halloween.

I didn't even get it.

And the fact that there was someone there

that Tom could move on with, it was like, please go.

Like, we would love to see two people that shouldn't be together not be together.

Yeah.

Even though there are rumors that they were going through a hard time, which I do believe, you know, after 10 years, like they, he also has these two restaurants.

He's put all of his money into it.

Like, I, he's also annoying as fuck.

Like, I do believe that the relationship wasn't peaking, but they didn't have that like toxic quality like Tom and Kristen did.

No, no.

It's something that you work through, not like you go and have an affair with the girl's best friend.

I cannot get over this, honestly.

Like, and you know what?

Everyone was like, oh, what's wrong with Ariana?

She didn't want to get married.

Bitch, she better, she's probably so fucking happy that she could just walk out.

Yeah, they share a house together, so it'll be like a little, you know, paperwork.

They don't have to go through a divorce.

Like she's a queen.

She's so smart.

Yeah.

And I feel like Tom's saying about he's smart, but he's not.

And he's so egotistical.

Like you would think he would just like, whatever Ariana wants to do is like what we'll do.

Because any pushback she gets from him, she just, all she needs to do is put on social media.

Tom's taking the house.

No, totally.

And, and

Ariana has been on the show for a really long time.

She, I'm assuming does really well financially because she didn't do anything crazy.

You know, she didn't start.

Her and Katie are being so smart about this sandwich up, like looking for investors, not doing anything too hasty.

They don't want it to be this huge space.

Like they're taking it on slowly.

I feel like she's been really responsible financially.

And Tom, when he was talking about Venmoing his bandmates and renting studio space, I didn't realize like he had to pay off.

$1,000 a day to pay for Schwartz and Sandy's.

Right.

So I feel like

he's in a hole.

Like he flew his family out and he couldn't cancel the flights.

Like he, I feel like he's actually really not doing well financially.

And the fact that they're not married is a huge blessing for ariano who i feel like has been really smart with her bander pump money and she's been on for a long time so with this rate she can't be making less than thirty thousand dollars an episode like she's doing really well she's definitely making way more than that yeah and she's not she's one of the flashy no

she started this little side hustle nothing crazy yeah and even if the book even if she just cashed her bander pump checks like She's doing really well.

And it doesn't seem like she has spending problems that we know about.

So I believe she has a podcast.

Does she?

I think.

I don't think.

Oh my God.

I just, all I see right now is like Sheena.

I know.

We need to talk about Sheena's podcast

trying to get Ariana on her podcast.

Let me just look up.

Ariana Maddox.

No, she doesn't.

Sorry.

Oh, Earth to Ariana.

But it hasn't been updated since November.

Okay.

So like, no.

She doesn't do it anymore.

Yeah.

Sheena's trying to get the exclusive for shenanigans.

Please hurt him.

I was.

I was obsessed with that whole saga on the most recent episodes.

Like, Sheena's so obvious like my god walking over she by the way i forget that they keep saying sheena lives far sheena like doesn't live in la she lives by like the marina like literally 45 minutes away so the fact that literally in the span of a week she made like three trips to tom schwartz's apartment one for the pregame one to hang out with sandoval and then one to record the podcast like loser loser like i cannot get over it i thought like Honestly, I know we all treat Tom Schwartz like this village idiot, but like the way he's so easily manipulated by people, like you didn't know what Sheena was doing and you didn't tell her, hey, Sheena, cut that part out like he's so like dumb yeah he's so dumb he just like doesn't have a spine enough to say sheena cut that out um but i did actually have some respect for him when he turned raquel down at the

same and he knew he didn't even think he was filming He turned her down before.

Yeah.

He's like, wait, are we still filming?

Of course, eventually they do kiss at Sheena's wedding, but that is nothing.

Like, whenever they will kiss, I'm just going to.

You know what?

I'm going to feel worse for Schwartz because I'm going to be like, Raquel was playing him this whole time as a cover for her affair with Sandoval.

When she kisses Schwartz, she's having an affair with Sandoval already.

So it's like, she's manipulating him.

And it's like, we are supposed to be mad at Schwartz, but I'm actually going to feel sorry for him.

The whole Schwartz and Raquel thing started because some rumor got released that at Coachella, Tom was kissing

Raquel.

Now, a lot of people say, like, maybe the rumor got twisted and like Tom Sandoval was kissing Raquel.

And like, Schwartz just like went with it.

Like, oh, there's a silly rumor about me.

Maybe, but the timeline like doesn't really act.

I know.

I know, because because coachella's in april yeah

yeah

um but my god sheena like has actually and this is saying a lot because i feel like she's looked really bad for many seasons this might be the worst she's ever looked um

and now knowing what we know knowing that she's really isolating herself from everyone just to support raquel and now raquel is this like radioactive villain she looks really stupid she still has ariana as like ariana is her first friend on the show yeah and so for her to now throw her support behind Ariana, like that is a life raft she can cling to.

But it's like when they're all hanging out at Ariana's house, like Katie's not talking to her.

I'm just Lala.

Lala.

No, Lala and her are like best friends.

Sorry.

Their kids, their daughters are together every single day.

They're so, so close.

Well, she just looks stupid.

So it's just Katie, really.

Yeah, by the way, I'm obsessed with Katie.

Like, she's been so funny.

And I love her friendship with Lala.

Like, I know they're like the last two of that group who are still on the show.

Like, Brittany's out and Stasi's out and Kristen's out.

So they like really only have each other, but I feel like their friendship is really genuine.

And they're like really, they're in like a similar place, but they're also in really different places in their lives, like sobriety and motherhood.

But I feel like they have a really good friendship.

And Katie's just being so funny.

And honestly, I do agree with pretty much everything Katie has said thus far.

Like, we had this agreement.

Fine.

You want to fuck Raquel?

I'll run train through your restaurant.

Like, that was so.

funny.

And I feel like she's justified.

I know a lot of people are like, you're divorced, but like asking just not to dip in the friends group, like is really not asking a lot, unless it's the love of your life.

It's not asking a lot.

And especially, it's definitely not the, like, even if it is the love of your life, you don't go around to love if you're like, hey, want to make out?

Let's make out.

I feel like it's no,

it's high school.

It's so disrespectful.

The fact that a friend of hers would be the one to come up with the idea and sort of force them together and do all these like.

Nefarious behind the scenes things and act like, no, I just wanted to have a pregame.

So she didn't have to go alone.

Like, shut up.

No, shut up.

And like, I i guess katie did say that thing in vegas because katie didn't deny it she just said like i said it but like i don't feel that way anymore like honestly respect that's like the most relatable fucking thing like yeah i said that and i don't mean it because i was like pretending to be mature or whatever but like i'm not yeah when i was watching this most recent episode and like katie eventually like brings christina kelly along i was thinking like how miserable filming the show must be for katie she doesn't have any of her friends that she started with it's now all about these

new people and the new people are just like now going after Schwartz.

Like, what the fuck?

What am I doing here?

Because if she just didn't have to hang out with this group of people anymore, like, she wouldn't have, if Schwartz goes and makes out with Rick Helt, it's not a problem.

But she's one of three original cast members on the show still.

She's making more money than all those other people.

That's not a check you just walk away from.

So she has to keep showing up and keep being miserable and keep watching Tom Sandoval and the most extras and keep hearing DJ James Kennedy spinning on the ones and twos.

No, but you know what?

Say what you want about DJ James Kennedy.

I love him.

Yeah, like, first of all, he's so unapologetically himself that, like, you actually have to respect it.

He's an amazing reality star.

Like, he really is.

And he's done and said some horrible, unforgivable things, but there's something about him, like, you just keep coming back to.

And with his DJ career, like, everyone made fun of him when he first started.

But you know what?

Like, he turned that See You Next Tuesday thing into a legitimate affair at Sur.

He does like a really good job.

And you know what?

When Tom Sandoval was like, we're so lucky to have DJ James Kennedy opening for us like he was right like your band is a fucking joke you can't fucking sing and you know what i've actually seen dj james kennedy dj and he's pretty fucking great no and it's a great time it's a great idea like i feel like a few people from the show have made like uh IRL things happen for themselves like Sassy and her and her podcast and her book and like she had so much success and like James did that with his DJ career not only does he DJ within the restaurants beautiful but he could go DJ at a club and like all these Vanderpump fans are gonna come to want to see him like it's so smart everybody keeps trying to do stuff like that even the restaurants like tom tom like that was a success but it's not a shoe-in and i was just saying to zach because zach just started watching vanderpump again like this season i don't know why and we were talking about james and i was like yeah but i love him he was like what i was like there's just something so funny about him like so real even when when he's wrong he's so wrong and it's annoying but when he's right he's so right and he doesn't back down it's like yes thank you go off no and he's like funny like he's like funny and just like he's himself.

Now I would never want to date him in my whole life.

Could never be his girlfriend.

I don't think he should be drinking, but there's like a lovable, affable side to him that I appreciate.

And he's a great person on a reality show who has more than you would expect right moments.

Yeah, yeah.

No, he just gets like we're so blinded by his like dumb shit like when he just says things about like Katie's body like like we're just blinded by that, but every now and then, like he does,

he does have

his moments.

Yeah, and he's just funny.

He's like, I don't want to say the S word or the D word, but it's stupid and dumb.

He's so funny.

And now, James and Katie are an alliance.

And I'm sorry,

it's an unstoppable force.

I don't think they should be together, but like the two of them, I would not want them as my enemies.

No.

I am obsessed.

Like this stuff that has been coming out, like the memes, like

it's so,

it has actually reinvigorated my love for this show.

Yeah.

I was feeling so fatigued by these characters and these storylines and these plots, but now I'm.

Actually, I thought, I thought Raquel and Schwartz just making out was fucking crazy.

And that was, okay, we have a season because they're going to kiss.

Right.

This?

We have a franchise.

We have a decade.

It's too much.

i mean you could have said the same thing about jen shaw so let's not oh that's true but these kids before the horse these kids are pros these kids are pros they won't fumble the the real house guys of salt lake city are all rookies they don't know like they were ill-equipped these kids are not they know they've seen what the power of this show can do Yeah, and honestly, a lot of it, a lot of them are in so deep with their restaurants and their businesses, they are not about to let this ship go down without a fight.

No, and now they have.

They literally got lamb life raft lamb

literally

yeah they're not gonna this up i have literally the utmost faith in them but to be honest i would love in this very moment to hear from some of our former disgraced cast members jax kristen of course and you know people are saying like out of all everyone on the cast like jax turned out to be the upstanding guy, the good husband, the father, the father.

Yeah.

Who to thunk?

Like he would have really kind of nestled into his life after pump rules in such a respectable way.

He doesn't thirst out live tweeting the episodes.

Like he's totally out of it.

Him and Brittany look so happy.

They both look really good.

I would love to hear from them.

Yep, Stasi too.

How dare you?

Because she hated him the most.

Yeah, and you know what?

She was right.

She was right.

And of course, Kristen.

Of course, I mean...

And Kristen being the bigger person, you know, going over to Ariana's and being there for her, posting team Ariana.

like

a lot of girls wouldn't do that.

Like a lot of girls would still be holding on to a lot of the anger and resentment they have for their ex's new girl.

But they've been friends for a while.

I think Kristen, you know,

she especially sees it now, like dodged a bullet, thanks Mariana.

I mean, how anyone, not to be mean, but like how anyone could even be remotely attracted to Tom Sandoval, and I don't mean that in a physical sense.

I mean his personality, his midlife crisis, his band.

Like I don't know how you could see someone on stage and then be like, yeah, I want to have sex with that.

Like, he's so cringe, like, the Schwartz's mom.

He's so, like, the Schwartz's mom.

You know who he reminds me of?

With like the Bravo fans, like, these older women who like love him.

It reminds me of Hugh Grant in music and lyrics.

Like, before he blows back up again, he like plays county fairs and there's like five like 50-year-old women who are obsessed with his band back in the 80s.

Like, it's, it's really, it's, it's pathetic.

Yeah.

But people, like, that's the show.

And people really

Do like did like him and like go to his shows and like oh my god He's seeing about Schwartz's mom.

That's so funny It's it's not though and so we need to as a society discuss why we ever thought that was funny because I didn't

I didn't no but like people did like there was an audience for that and like that's actually the real problem here.

I want to interview the audience members.

I know were you genuinely laughing or like were you laughing because you felt bad because like that I understand

Were you an extra like for the show?

Did you buy a ticket?

No and like the way he named his band like Tom Sandimbles and the most extra because like somebody called him extra like two seasons ago and he's like trying to make a moment out of it like there are ways to take things people have said about you on the show and like turn it into your own brand and i think people have done it really successfully but when you try and it like doesn't catch on and like it's like a flop and you're trying so hard there's honestly nothing more embarrassing and just like ariana is so good to him even if they weren't you know

physically like together anymore but like When she's trying on all those outfits, I know I thought and she's taking him seriously, being like, no, well, like, good, but like, what else?

And then be like, yes, that's it.

Like, could never be me.

No, I would literally sit there and be like, I'm going to be real with you.

You look like a fucking clown.

Like, no, but she was blindly supportive, and he so did not deserve that.

And I really feel bad for Ariana, but I also am excited.

We're going to get like this genesis, this rebirth of Ariana, where like the fans are 100% behind her.

She's single.

She looks great.

Like, I'm ready.

Yeah.

This is so crazy.

And honestly, I feel like she's going to keep the house.

I feel like she can.

I feel like she can too, but does she want to?

Does she want a big house?

She doesn't seem like the type.

I feel like she's kind of like a penthouse girl.

Yeah, like a downtown condo.

She doesn't want to be in the suburbs alone.

We're literally reverting to like the Vanderpump of yore.

Like they were all in these apartments that had like, you know, no furniture and they were just like these young kids with no money.

And then they all got like a little too rich.

They bought houses, whatever.

But then they all started going through divorce and restaurants.

And honestly, a lot of them have no money.

No, they have money, but you don't need a house when you don't have a, like a family.

Have a home.

Right, right, right.

Like

something to go home to.

Tom Schwartz is in an apartment now.

I think Sheena lives in an apartment.

I think La La does.

I think Katie.

Not even because it's not a financial thing.

Katie, yeah, now maybe Ariana, but it's not a financial thing.

It's like you don't need a...

a home when you're a single person.

Like that's who wants that?

Right.

No, it's also just like way easier not to have to be in like a residential family neighborhood when like now you want to go out all the time and you want to be closer to bars and restaurants and you want to be able to uber like you don't need to go all the like 30 minutes.

Yeah, no, honestly, like when they all moved into houses and like Brittany and Jax were talking about how it's like, it's not as great as it looks like Jax was mowing the yard.

Like that was funny.

Yeah, but Brittany and Jax are still there.

Well, and they should be like they have a kid and they're settled.

Like they're not going out.

They're just like keeping their heads down and like growing their family.

Yeah, so they need a house.

Right.

No, but we're reverting to the vander pump of your yeah everyone in these apartments that are like gross

they don't have to be gross no but like that's what it was that's what it was but they're not gonna be gross like katie's gonna live in a gross no not katie no no no not ariana no not ariana i wonder if she'll keep the house we'll have to wait and see yeah

it's just been

it's been a time Yeah, they're going to have to speed up these episodes.

And also, if I'm the editors, I'm combing through this footage to see if there's moments that I missed.

Yep, yep.

And that's what everyone's combing through.

That's what everyone's doing now.

Like they're going through Sheena's vlogs and people's old stories, like just to see, you know, if there was something we missed.

I feel like the editors could maybe find something that they didn't care about and just maybe shift the focus a little bit of the rest of the season.

Otherwise, it's going to be dreadful to watch until we get to this part, but it will be worth it because cameras are up.

Yep.

And then there's a reunion.

Yep.

And everyone will be answering.

Yeah.

The reunion is like my next Super Bowl.

Yeah.

But I think it's also important to remember this is a television show and yet you don't know these people and we can talk about it for entertainment value.

But then like, I don't need to go and leave mean comments on anyone's page.

Like I like, I don't know you.

You didn't betray me.

Like

we are just fans and spectators.

Like

calm the fuck down.

Yeah, I agree.

You know?

Yep.

Cause it's like,

People are not meant to

receive and see and deal with this much criticism about themselves, no matter what their crime is.

Agreed.

Unless it's murder and you're Alex Murdoch.

Yeah.

So just keep that in mind.

Keep a level head, you guys.

Yeah.

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Thank you, Claudia.

Yeah, welcome.

Our next story: Chris Rock did his live Netflix comedy special, Selective Outrage, and he's mentioning it all.

He shredded Will Smith with Oscar Slapjoke.

Slap jokes said, quote, everyone calls him a bitch, and who does he hit?

Me.

Almost a year after the infamous Oscar Slap comedian Chris Rock finally addressed what happened in his live Netflix special.

After an hour of new material that only alluded to Slapgate, he said in the beginning, He said, quote, they say words hurt.

Anybody who says words hurt has never been punched in the face.

So that was at the top of the show.

He didn't get back into the slap or anything.

I thought that was kind of going to be it.

But no, he did like a whole five to 10 minutes going in on what happened.

He said, quote, you all know what happened to me getting smacked by Suge Smith.

Everybody knows, everybody fucking knows.

I got smacked like a year ago.

And people are like, did it hurt?

It still hurts.

I got summertime ringing in my ears.

Despite the pressure from the press to open up about what happened, he's adamant that he won't be dissecting it on a talk show.

He said, quote, I'm not a victim, baby.

You will never see me on Oprah or Gail crying.

You will never see it.

It's never going to happen.

Fuck that shit.

I took that shit like pacquiao.

You know, I thought that was a really good response.

One, because it harked back to like a big segment he did in his special about how everyone is a victim these days.

We're always saying that, like searching for victimhood.

Everyone wants to be a victim.

But also it was a nice little dig at Will Smith because like Will Smith got up there and slapped fucking Chris Rock and then Will Smith went on TED Table Talk 400 times and cried, like making himself the victim.

So I like how Chris Rock not only like harked back to a previous material, but he was also like, I'm not a victim, even though technically like in this saga, like he was the victim of a slap, like you're gonna go and cry, okay, bitch, like I'm gonna stand up here and make jokes about it.

Yeah, I love Ted Table Talk, but um

by the way, he really went hard.

I honestly thought he like wouldn't want to be associated with this anymore and like he was kind of using it for clickbait for his special.

Like I honestly didn't know if he was still like angry or if he was ever really angry, but he's fucking mad.

And you know what?

He called Will Smith a bitch.

He called Jada Pinkett Smith a predator, which honestly

is a pretty decent call because I didn't really put together that that dumb entanglement thing was with one of her son's friends.

Like that's fucking weird.

And I also didn't know that like beyond the slap, like beyond the surface, there's actually history with Jada, Will, and Chris as it pertains to the Oscars.

Like Jada was really upset when Chris Rock agreed to host it all those years ago because

Will

wasn't nominated.

And so I didn't realize that it was layered beyond that.

So he was like, he was digging, yeah, at Jada.

Like he was, you know, he was starting stuff with that joke, G.I.

Jane, but because there was history there.

Yeah, and now

because he was slapped.

Hosts and presenters like make lots of little jokes at people.

Like

a slap for a joke.

It doesn't even matter.

Like Chris could have said the most disgusting joke of all time, and it still wouldn't have warranted a slap.

Like, you don't fucking slap people.

Right.

And so

now he's going in on them and what happened, and how I guess Chris even called him when everything like went down with the entanglement, like, and to like be there for him.

And instead, he slaps him.

And it's like everybody was talking shit about Will Smith and like clowning on him.

And he slaps and Chris wasn't.

And he, but that's who he slaps.

And also, he talks about how Will Smith is so much bigger than him.

Like, they're not the same size.

They're, it's not a fair fight.

Like, he's a big guy and his slap fucking hurts yeah honestly like i i was almost prepared to be disappointed because i feel like chris i just thought chris rock would have been like moved on from it and like he's like we're just like

yeah and i'm so glad he wasn't because you know what you got fucking slapped and sometimes you just need to go for the jugular yeah i don't know why i thought he would like not be as mad as he is Yeah, no, me too.

Like, I don't know why I kind of, I just perceive him.

Maybe it's because he's like this comedy legend as someone who's just like above shit like this.

But you know what?

Like Will Smith dragged him down to the trenches and Chris Rock is joining him.

And I respect that.

Like I hate that shit.

Like rise above.

No, couldn't be me.

But especially if somebody

still is above it because he's not getting physical.

He's using his words.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Like a groan.

I was actually really pleased with the response.

Like he's mad.

And you know what?

That's a human response.

Yeah.

And like he took a year to say to figure out what he wanted to say, when he wanted to say it, how he wanted to say it.

And like, there's nothing rash rash about this.

And I also appreciate that he's saying it all.

He's mentioning it all.

And he's mentioning the entanglement and all the things I could have said about Will Smith, but I didn't, but I will now.

No, it's true.

Like him and Jada really, like for many years, like dragged their relationship in the public sphere.

It's not like they were being dragged.

They put themselves there.

They kind of like embarrass themselves and their families over and over.

So when you think of the birth of, not birth, is it breadth?

Breadth.

breadth of material that you could write about these two

really GI Jane

is is harmless and I know like she has alopecia so I get why it's layered but to be honest the rationale for why the joke might have been insensitive is irrelevant now because you got up and slapped someone like to me I don't give a shit what you have to say.

I don't care about your victimhood.

You are wrong in perpetuity because you slapped someone.

Yeah.

And I feel like for the last year, like Will Smith has been dipping his toe in his PR

psychology.

Come back,

you know.

And now Will's, Chris Rock is just like, back down again.

Start again.

That's true.

Start from the middle of the moment.

Because honestly, I had forgotten and whatever.

I thought Chris was over it, so I'm over it.

Right.

Now we're reliving it.

Like, Chris is like such a cutie.

You know, he came on that special.

He's like this family man, like, talking about his kids.

He's so cute.

He was so funny.

He made some really good points.

I was enjoying the special and I'm like, you know what?

Now I'm feeling protective again of Chris Rock and he's mad.

So I'm mad.

It's like it's all it's starting all over again, which must be really infuriating for Will Smith.

Anything he did in the last year to try and overcome it

back at square one.

A hundred percent.

And you know what?

I love that Chris like didn't give an interview and he saved this moment for himself.

I'm sure he sold the shit out of this special, not only because it was, you know, the first time he was talking about Will Smith, but it was also this technological marvel of live streaming on Netflix.

I love that he kept it for himself.

It's like, you know, us doing it on the Patreon.

100%.

Plus, he's Chris Rock.

I love that.

And they invest in comedy at Netflix.

Like, he probably got paid so much.

I can't imagine he got paid less than $20 million.

For one special, one live?

Yeah.

It's possible that this was a part of like a three-special deal.

Yeah.

Jerry Seinfeld did three specials for $60 million.

But this is different.

You know, it's live.

Live television, people.

Chris Rock.

It's Chris Rock Live show.

It's Chris Rock Live.

Chrissy Rock would be better because it's 30 Rock, Chrissy Rock.

Chrissy.

No, too many syllables somehow.

No, 30, Chrissy.

I know, but they don't say 30 rock.

They say live show.

It's 30 rock live.

30 rock live show.

Chrissy Rock Live.

Chrissy Rock Live Show.

Yeah, it's literally perfect.

It felt just as good the way I was singing it.

Music teacher.

The special otherwise.

The special.

The special otherwise was good.

It wasn't like amazing, but it was really good and funny.

Oh, I thought it was really strong.

I thought he made some really good points, some really good jokes.

Oh my God, I was telling you how I was, I can't.

I remember the last time I laughed so hard at a

joke from a comedy special.

It was when he was talking about the difference between dating, financially, the difference financially between dating older women and younger women.

And when he said,

for an older woman, you have to pay to fix my room.

But for a younger woman,

she'll be like, I want shoes.

Give me one pair of shoes.

Shoes, shoes, shoes.

And then for an older woman, she's like, can you fix my roof?

It was really funny.

Oh my God.

Honestly.

I couldn't even hear the next five minutes because I, literally, if I was further along in my pregnancy, I think I would have given birth.

Zach and I were

tears.

Tears last time.

It was so funny.

I thought it was funny.

I didn't think it was like tears funny.

I don't know what

I was just waiting to see what he was going to say.

Like, what does an older woman want a house?

Like, I didn't know.

Right.

And she wants you to fix her roof.

Like, it was so funny.

He's also making headlines for his bit about Megan Markle, which I thought was really interesting.

So let's talk about that.

And then that's actually going to lead into our our next story.

So he had a bit about the ways that people

were talking about earlier, like just victimhood.

Yes.

Everyone needs to be a victim of something.

That America, we're addicted to attention.

There's four ways to get attention, you know.

You could be

put your ass out.

You could be infamous.

You could be excellent.

Or you would be

able to be a victim.

Right.

And he said, and speaking of, you know, Megan Markle and her journey to victimhood and everything that she shared.

And he's talked about, you know, how she, like the things that she said on Oprah and how, you know, you didn't know the royal family was racist, like they invented racism.

And then he started talking about a few of the things that she said to, you know,

exhibit how they were racist.

And he was like, that's not racism.

That's like in-law shit.

Right, right.

So it was just really funny.

And she doesn't get really any negative

press in the U.S.

aside from that South Park thing that was a few weeks ago, which we heard that they didn't like and that they were upset about, but then we heard that no, they didn't care.

So, I feel like to go from like being, you know, so celebrated and not no one will say a bad word to that South Park episode and then this, which is like one of the biggest comedy moments this year, and he's like really going in on them,

they are must not be happy.

To be honest, it was

refreshing because I feel like

what comedy is really supposed to do is

be the thing you think but don't say.

And we exist in a culture, and I think it's out of a protectiveness for Megan, which I appreciate.

I think it started from a good place, but you really can't criticize Harry and Megan without being, you know, labeled as something.

And so for Chris Rock to get on here and just kind of say the thing we were all thinking, like, I don't know, some of the stuff they describe, like, is it evil?

No.

Is it like, do I deal with the same shit with my in-laws?

Kind of.

Like, it's, it was refreshing to hear.

And that's really what comedy is supposed to be.

And so to hear someone who probably has a lot to lose by saying that, I'm sure he could hobnob with Harry and Megan at Ellen's house whenever he wants.

I don't know that that's a lot to lose, though, not getting the invite.

No, but I'm saying like he could run into Harry and Megan tomorrow.

Like honestly, like him saying that is brave.

It's not like some nobody comic on a podcast.

I don't think he, there's a lot to lose

by not being able to run into them and it being awkward.

You know what I mean?

Like, I think it's worth it.

I think he puts himself in a bad position.

Like, he's, he's on the same level of fame.

Yeah.

So he puts himself kind of

perhaps as a target or

putting himself in a bad spot.

And for him to say it means he really believes it.

And I think a lot of people in the audience agreed with it.

And I think people watching at home is like, well, yeah, like, I mean, we all think that, but

no one's going to say it.

Yeah.

And that's what comedy is.

That's the purpose of comedy.

Yeah, but I feel like the more time that they spend in Hollywood, I'm constantly shocked by how few friends it seems that they have and how

Rebel Wilson is our next story, but how few

things that

they should be at that they're not at.

Mecha.

When you zoom out, it's like, why aren't they spotted at dinner with this and that and them and them?

Like we never hear that.

The only really things that we see, one, the Ellen party, which we reference every single time we say where you could see them.

And in the documentary, the people who called her after the open area.

Beyonce called her.

Yeah.

Does she text with Beyonce today?

Right.

No.

It's almost like, well, why do they even live in LA?

Yeah.

But like, they're not at the Mechala.

They are not at like some of these big birthday parties for some of the really big stars.

Like,

I don't know if Hollywood's going how they thought it was going to go.

That's a good point and a good segue to our next strike because I would say

I don't know why they wouldn't be embraced by Hollywood because it seems like right after they left the family, they were.

Oprah went well and everything.

But Rebel Wilson was on Watch What Happens Live talking about meeting Harry and Megan.

And while she said really sweet things about Harry, she said Megan was not naturally warm.

So that's so funny because that's what Megan said about Kate.

Oh, that is funny.

That is.

And I feel like Megan's

brand that she puts forth is just like this warm person, the warm American hugger, you know?

Right, right, right.

Rebel Wilson says she did not get a warm reception from Megan when she first met the Duchess of Sussex.

She said Megan was not as cool.

She wasn't as naturally warm.

However, she noted that Markle could have been standoffish due to her mom, her Australian mom, asking slightly rude questions like, Where are your kids?

Rebel said, Mom, that is fucking rude.

Don't ask her that.

They said they met because they had a mutual friend

and Harry was really warm and sweet and that Megan was not the way that Harry was and she didn't mince words.

No, no, I was surprised for her.

I was surprised for her to be like so direct and like shady.

And I feel like actually like Rebel has more to lose saying just this about Megan and Harry because she's not on the same level as Chris Rock where it's like Chris Rock is a legend, period.

Doesn't matter who he offends.

Yeah.

I was really surprised.

Yes, me too.

But I also feel like we're always saying here like, okay, one, referencing one-time meeting someone isn't a fair assessment of their character.

Like, maybe she had a long day, maybe she was in a bad mood, maybe she felt awkward, maybe she doesn't like Rebel Wilson.

Like, maybe she heard Rebel Wilson say something about her.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't feel like it's actually an accurate, but I'm adding it just

noted.

But I'm not going to make a general

observation, not observation, general.

I'm having a hard time with the words today.

General, like judgment statement, judgment, sure, on one person's one time.

It's not like Megan said,

I can't talk.

Rebel said, oh, every time I've met Megan, she's been a bitch.

Like, it was one time.

And you know what?

It's noted, but I'm not making any big statements yet.

I'll say two things about that.

One, we say this all the time.

I hate when people on TikTok are like, so-and-so was rude.

And they like...

have these anecdotal reasons as to why they're rude and they don't even tell you who it is.

But I feel like the fact that she said this, and it seemed like she said it in the commercial break and then repeated it.

Yes.

Because she said we were just talking about this in the break.

So she repeated it again on television.

The fact that she would say it was her, not just like, oh, I hobnob with someone who you would think was so warm, but really wasn't.

It wasn't anonymous.

She would say it was her.

She would not be like, but maybe, well, actually, she did say maybe she was put off by my mom asking rude questions.

I don't think it's so rude to say, where are your kids?

If I'm out and some, like someone said, where's Harry?

I just think that, not rude, just dumb.

Like, he's home.

What do you think?

No, it depends, like, who you are.

Like, if you're easily offended, and you're like, are you judging myself?

It depends on what the

context, where we are.

Like, if we're in the park having a picnic, like, where are your kids?

Like, they, could they go here?

But if we're at a cocktail party, dinner party, where are my kids?

Like, they're asleep, Wenchilu.

Right.

They're with, they're with the setter.

Yeah, like, so it depends on the context.

I don't think it's like

overall the rudest question.

Um,

the fact that she, like, just didn't mince words.

I, I'm.

no, I find it, I found the whole thing extremely interesting.

Yeah, especially since that's like Harry's supposed to be like the British stiff upper lip and she's like warm

American.

And we got the opposite.

So I thought that was interesting.

Yeah.

No, I just also appreciate when people share their anecdotes.

Like I'm always wondering what's going on behind closed doors.

Yeah.

No one like shares stuff like this about anyone.

No, I know.

Like

very just direct and honest I felt in the moment.

I feel like Rebel must have had like a really nasty experience with her to then just say worse

to then just say not naturally warm it wasn't just like an unnatural warmth that she felt the need to share it must have been worse Yeah, it's not a good month for Harry and Megan.

I feel like actually hasn't been a good few months I don't think the reception to the book and the documentary was really what they thought the book reception was better but the documentary reception was not great

But the book sales were great so they have like a lot of money But he already got paid the 20 million for three books.

So they already cashed those checks, I think.

I think they care just about public perception and image as they do about money.

Yes, but they have to care about both.

Yeah.

Like they,

like, you can't have,

long term, you can't have one without the other.

And they need both.

It's not like they're part of the family anymore.

The family just gets to worry about public perception.

So true.

But they have to

worry about those things while also trying to make money.

Yeah.

And like parallel to the money.

Yeah.

And people like, you know, when you do stuff for money, they judge you as like, what did you sell for that?

You sold your family.

Right.

I'm going to fucking judge you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it hasn't been a great like six months, honestly.

Yeah.

They need to lay low.

There, nobody.

They've been laying low.

Except they went to dinner the other night.

No, dinner doesn't count.

I mean, Harry just did another sit-down interview, mental health.

Oh my God, the traumas were like that was a disaster.

Opening up their legs for us.

Like, it's enough.

Nobody ever regretted laying low.

Agreed.

aside from that interview which he i feel like he does all these interviews and like does anybody fucking watch them because i only like see them the excerpts yeah but anyways they went to dinner of course they're allowed to go to dinner but it was like you know yeah paparazzi were there they were that doesn't bother me honestly i feel like those moments actually are in the plus column for me because they look really happy she always looks stunning i actually love seeing paparazzi photos of them

Why?

No, you're allowed to go to dinner.

I'm talking about

going to dinner to eat a meal and going to dinner.

We're going to San Vicente bungalows and the paparazzi have been crawling.

That stuff doesn't bother me.

For me, it was like the weeks and months of promo for the documentary, promo for the books, sit-down interviews, 60 minutes, BBC, everything.

Now this trauma expert, like that, for people who really left for their mental health and for privacy, stop.

Close your legs to married men.

Like stop.

That shit bothers me.

Actually, the paparazzi, San Vicente bungalows, like that's what I expected That's what I was like oh yes, they're coming to Hollywood.

Let's see the glamour get out of the car.

What are you wearing?

She loves a good coat like that is exciting.

Yeah, that is what I want to see and they don't do a lot of that not even they could go to dinner and call the paparazzi whenever they want but like they're not at

all parties.

They're not at these big events.

They could be at the Oscars presenting.

They're not and and by the way, that type of thirst would actually be good for them.

Glaucated thirst.

Glamour.

That's Hollywood.

What I'm saying is, like, what's surprising about their role in Hollywood is it's not the role I would have thought that they would have leaving the royal family and being like the A-listers that they are.

Right.

And it appears as though it's not a choice because if they were choosing not to be Hollywood Glamour, then they wouldn't be doing all these sit-down interviews.

So it's not that they don't want to be in the spotlight because they do, but they're choosing the most bizarre spotlights.

No, and the ones that are the big spotlights are seemingly not available to them.

Like, I don't know.

You know?

Yeah.

Because, I don't know.

Because they would do it.

Like, why aren't they going to,

they should be going to the Vanity Fair Oscar party this year.

Yeah.

They should be going to the Oscars.

They could be presenting at the Oscars.

Maybe.

And it could be like a, you know, a charitable award, something.

Even the

same thing, the Grammys and all the other crap we just watch.

And the.

Right, where they bring like elected officials.

Yeah, in the same way that, like, they're just like humanitarians.

Okay, you know what?

They've been like out and about, like, very public.

I would be very interested if they do anything at the Oscars.

Okay, maybe not presenting, but showing up at that Vanity Fair party for a photo.

That would be interesting.

But then, to me, the idea that they couldn't get invited to the Vanity Fair Oscar party, it sounds absurd.

Of course, they could.

Right, so is it a choice?

I don't know.

But there's like, I don't know, I don't know.

We'll see.

So,

are you ready for our next story?

What number is this?

Four?

Four.

All right.

Pete Davidson and his girlfriend Chasey, Wonders, crashed their car into Beverly Hills home.

I saw this is a very nefarious smelling story.

Pete Davidson and his girlfriend Chase Sue Wonders crashed their car into a Beverly Hills home Saturday night.

Police confirmed to the post.

The SNL alum had been driving a Mercedes-Benz at a high rate of speed around 11 p.m.

when he jumped a curb in the flats neighborhood.

He reportedly also hit a fire hydrant and skidded across the front lawn before slamming into the corner of the house.

The siding on one corner of the home was broken and pushed inward, according to photos of the damage obtained by TMZ.

Beverly Hills Police confirmed to the post that the car crash had occurred and damaged city property, the fire hydrant, and that it was, in fact, Pete behind the wheel.

A police spokesperson refused to provide further details as the department's investigation is ongoing.

Both of them walked away unharmed.

And what about the people in the house?

People in the house are fine.

No, no, no injuries or anything.

Late night, driving fast, residential neighborhood.

This doesn't smell good to me.

No.

This is no bueno.

And you know what?

Bad decision making.

And bad.

The preliminary view, according to TMZ, is that drugs and alcohol were not involved here, but an investigation is currently underway.

I mean, a preliminary view, like they can do a blood alcohol test on him when they

arrive.

As far as weed, how do you test for that?

You test like a drug test, like normal.

Okay, so maybe, I don't know if...

but by the way, like he's gonna have weed in his system.

But can you you can't be high and drive?

That's a really good question.

I feel like you can.

No way.

I mean, I feel people do, but like, I don't know what the levels of fucked upness are.

Right, but like, weed stays in your system, I think, for 30 days.

You take a drug test, it's like, yeah, well, I smoked weaknesses.

No, but it's like if you take it on site, there's got to be a way.

Like, literally, we're sending people to the Mars.

Like, you can find out how high someone is.

How do you, though, seriously, like, jump a curb, hit a fire hydrant, and drive into someone's house if you're not even the slightest bit impaired?

Yeah.

Unless you have, like, a medical, unless you have a heart stroke.

Right, but they seem, they were fine at the scene.

Right.

So, like, the fishy,

you know,

we wrote

this is fishy for sure.

Nefarious behavior.

And I don't want to make any judgments until

it's judgment day,

but

this is terrible.

Yeah.

I'm glad they're both okay.

I'm glad everyone in in the house is okay, but now we need to get down to the bottom of it because it sounds like, sounds like Pete is making some bad decisions.

Yeah.

And that worries me because he's a good boy.

He may be spending too much time in LA.

He's got to go back to Staten Island.

You know, those hedonistic Los Angeles.

Yeah.

Los Angeles.

Los Angeles.

So we'll keep you posted on that because I do want to know what happened here because it's very concerning.

100%.

Are you ready for our next story?

5th and 5th.

Is it the last story that's brought to you by Canva?

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Our fifth and final story: some nostalgic but also forward-thinking news.

Miley Cyrus is teaming up with Disney again for Endless Summer Vacation concert special.

Miley Cyrus announced on Friday that she is reteaming with Disney for a new concert special.

The former Hannah Montana star will perform her number one single Flowers, plus seven other songs from her upcoming album, Endless Summer Vacation, for the latest installment of her backyard sessions.

Additionally, the set list will include one of her chart-topping classics, The Climb,

as well as a collaboration with Rufus Wainwright, according to a press release obtained by Page 6.

The special, which is interspersed with new interview footage, premieres March 10th at 1 p.m.

Eastern Time on Disney Plus, the same day that her LP drops.

Okay, like Miley giving us backyard sessions.

If you remember the OG backyard sessions, like it was kind of this like transitional period for Miley.

It was like before her solo career really took off, after she like left Hannah Montana forever.

She was just like this, you know, downhome country all-American girl.

And she like was just posting these YouTube videos of her singing in her backyard with like an accompaniment, maybe like a drummer and a guitarist.

And it was like these really high quality videos.

Her, I think most popular one is Jolene.

She, that was like her iconic long brown hair era and like boho outfits.

Bun.

She wore a bun on that one.

It was so, like, we were so obsessed with Miley at that point and Hannah Montana ended.

And like we really didn't know what the future held.

I believe believe maybe she had released Party in the USA, but we were like, we were

literally desperate for anything Miley could give us.

And what she gave us was the backyard sessions and they became so iconic and she didn't even do that many because then her solo career really took off and she didn't have to slum it in her backyard for YouTube anymore.

And her sound changed a little bit.

Then she was with bangers and like that's not like an acoustic backyard vibe because she's constantly changing, evolving.

But the way that she knows how much those meant to us and she's bringing it, like I'm deeply moved.

This is so thoughtful.

It is.

They were a cultural reset for sure.

And they continue to have

impact.

Like, people are still watching them.

People are still talking about them.

You know, I'm sure they're on TikTok clipped all the time.

And she's bringing it back.

And the fact that she's bringing it back with Disney Plus just shows like.

All's well.

And that's good.

It's really full circle, you know, because she could have gone to any streamer.

And if she had such negative feelings about Disney, it would not be Disney.

But this this like just goes to show like we're okay everything was okay had it was good i'm okay with everything

here's the backyard sessions no you're right i'm actually getting like choked up this is really beautiful yeah she's going back to her roots and she's singing the climb 2023 edition

i'm so excited she sings the climb quite frequently and she never does a bad job and she always adds like something new, a little twang, a new note, a new pitch.

she really always does that song justice and the way she like protects that song for us is actually really sweet like that song means so much to so many of her fans and i think you know a lot of people were always talking about how they you know they kind of shy away from the thing and No matter how big Miley gets, like people will always want to go to her concerts and hear the climb.

And she always leaves that opportunity, like that potential possibility for us.

And she always does the song justice.

And like, I really want to thank her for that because she loves the song and she knows that we love it and like the fact that she loves it makes us love it more no and i think that we love the song so much but there are so many things from like you know back in the day that you would love just because of the nostalgia but i think coincidentally like the climb is an absolutely beautiful song and the lyrics and the message are eternal and so she's not like embarrassed by it it's not like the jonas brothers going and singing year 3000 which is just a gimmick like this is a song

girl yeah this is a song that like means something.

It's a beautiful song.

It's something that could be released today, and it's just, like, a gorgeous song.

It's not just because we're not asking her to perform best of both worlds, you know?

Right.

No, it's a fact that she's a song that feels like a real song.

But the fact that she can even see through all the Hannah stuff to be like, oh, that is a real beautiful song that just happened to fall into my lap as Hannah just shows a maturity on her part, not to shun everything from Hannah as like corny, bad Disney nonsense.

No, No, you're right.

The message is really evergreen.

Evergreen.

Life's a climb.

There's always going to be another mountain.

That's not even in the lyrics.

No, I know, but that's like the message of the song what's inspired her.

The message is, there's always going to be another mountain, period.

I'm always going to want to make it move.

Always going to be an uphill battle.

Sometimes I'm going to have to lose.

Ain't about how fast I get there, damn straight.

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side.

Facts.

It's the climb.

Facts.

Straight facts.

No lies were told.

Zero.

Absolutely none.

And that's a message we could all use every day in every way.

Jackie?

That's beautiful.

Pinky turtle.

It's the climb.

So good.

I won't, I won't, I won't spiral, but like I could.

You could.

when those violins come in, doots.

She better have a full string orchestra

on it.

In the backyard session, or else we're gonna have problems.

Sometimes you're gonna have to listen about how fast.

Such a good song.

And about what's waiting on the other side.

Yay, yay.

Yay.

Keep on moving.

Keep climbing.

Keep the faith, baby.

It's all about, it's all about the climb.

This would be like me singing Don't Rain on My Parade.

Like, it's just hurtful.

Oh, I can't sing the climb.

Not on this show, no.

Jesus.

That's where I'm.

That's where I'll put my steak in the ground.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Sing, Don't Rain on My Parade.

No, I would never do that to you, Turtle.

No, by the way, and the fact that, like, we know you're a better singer than me.

You take my one song.

You took my one song that I've been practicing my whole life.

I won't sing it, but like, genuinely, I would like to hear you sing Don't Rain on my Parade.

Like, you're missing the point.

I don't want to.

No, but like, I like I'm asking that.

I'm not trying to make fun of you.

So you can make fun of me?

So you can make fun of me.

No, it'll be good, Khan.

It will not be good.

Please.

Five seconds, like five bars.

There's literally like no part of me that's like drumming up to sing the song.

Like it's not happening.

Come on, give the people what they want.

That's not what they want, Turtle.

They want me singing the climb.

I don't think so.

They love when I sing the climb.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, fine.

Wow, Jackie backing down from a challenge.

Noted.

Yeah, note it.

Note it.

That's our show.

That was a long one.

We had so much to discuss.

I feel better.

Like, I took a big dump of words.

Yummy.

Reminder that this is our first of three episodes this week.

I'm not here Thursday, Friday.

I'm heading out of the country, just like global cosmopolitan jet-setting girl.

So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday this week is a short week.

So we gave you a long episode.

Maybe split this one in two.

No, well, our plan is, assuming that like, yeah, we're able to be, you know, nothing arises, that Thursday and Friday, we will drop Patreon episodes so that you have content if you're a Patreon member.

And you can always become a Patreon member if you're not one yet.

So if you are a fully immersed toaster, you actually will have episodes all day this week.

Yeah, true.

Okay, thanks very much.

For the FETs.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast.

I really mean that.

The Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast live stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast, pretty much anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, at Spotify, iTunes Stitcher, Public Radio, I, Radiocat Spots, all the places who have been listening to podcasts, my situation, Life, First, I've been about a beautiful, stunning, and wicked delighted we are.

Hope you guys have like literally the best day.

The best day, for real.

And we'll see you tomorrow.

It's so sweet.

I'm a sweet girl.

It's so sweet, Turtle.

I hope you have a really great day, too.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

We will.

See you tomorrow.

Love you.

Bye.