You Should Wear A Crown: Thursday, January 5th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Thursday.

Hope everyone's having a great day.

I know I am.

Oh my God, I'm being annoying.

Sorry.

Because I am sitting down with my best girlfriend, my gal pal, Jackie Yo.

Hey, girly.

Hi, Adam.

So you just have our best friends?

Are we not?

No, I know.

We sound like that TikTok sound.

That TikTok sound.

No.

We're best friends.

We could be honest about it.

Wait.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know this was like something we needed to be honest about.

We're literally best friends.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm not having an identity.

So like if someone asked me privately, like, who's my best friend?

I would say Claudia, but like, I don't think we've ever admitted to each other that like we're each other's best friends.

I didn't think it was something like we needed to be admitted to.

Like when if somebody, nobody asked me this because I'm not in the seventh grade, but if somebody did say like, Claudia, who's your best friend?

My answer first would be like, of course, my sisters.

Right.

But then, but nobody asks for that reason.

They want to know like who in your life is your best friend.

And I'm very blessed.

I would say I have about six best friends.

Right.

Which is why with when you give that answer, like then

I expect that to be your answer.

So when you said I was your best friend, it's just, it still feels special.

I know we're not in the seventh grade, but like to hear someone call you their best friend, like it's such a mark of specialness.

That's so funny that you say that because like I often do find myself like hanging out with like lifelong friends from like high school and stuff, but also like friends

that I've made in the last couple of years being like, I'm your best friend, right?

Cause like you're my, I say to Taylor Strecker all the time.

She has like so many best friends and she does say I'm her best friend.

She does say like, you know, you and Stasi, which is like, sure, okay, you didn't have to bring Stasi up, but like, yeah, like I'm always getting, like, my friend Abe, I'm like, you're my best friend.

Like, I'm your best friend, right?

Cause what's more embarrassing than having someone as your best friend and then not having you?

Of course, but the thing is, like, it's just grammatically incorrect to have six best friends.

So true.

To have six people who are your best friend because it's a singular experience.

Who would you say like outside?

Actually, this is like a contentious conversation because so many of our friends like listen to the toast because they're so supportive and wonderful.

But I was going to ask like who your best friend is.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't say it on the toast.

That's how, see, that's how like private and big of a deal it is.

Personal.

And then it also begs the question, do husbands count?

No, no, that just makes it too complicated.

And then nobody's ever could be a best friend again.

Because really, at the end of the day, if I'm thinking of like, who do I like really share the most with?

I think it's Ben.

Yeah, no, technically, your husband, your partner is your best friend.

It's the person that you spend the most amount of time with in your life.

I've been seeing like a lot of, you know, inspirational educational quotes that say, like, the person you choose to be your partner is so important because it is the person that you will spend the most time with for the rest of your life.

Like, not just, you know, it's the potential father of your children, like this, that.

It's like, who do you want to spend actually all your time with?

Nights.

What?

Nights.

what's nights who do you want to spend your nights with

like okay and your days no of course but like you could spend your days with multiple people but like when you get into bed you watch tv you read you lay you can't sleep you wake up like that is the person you're really spending like the most minutes with no but Yes, it's about minutes.

And when you look, if you were to put a graph of how many minutes you spend with Ben versus how many minutes you spend with me, Taylor Strucker, Abe, everyone, Like the amount of time you spend with Ben is so much more.

So you better like him so much more than you like even your friends.

But I'm saying, back to my night's point, is that

those minutes are unbalanced because so many of the minutes are at night.

Like I'm never going to get into bed with anyone other than Ben unless Ben starts being mean to me and then I'll show him who's boss.

Yes.

The minutes are at night.

Speaking of husbands, I sent you something yesterday.

I know there's a lot of really good stories today.

I have it.

I have it.

Oh, okay, because I thought it was like so funny.

And it's a Gabrielle Union story that I want to talk about.

But we're embarrassed by riches in terms of the selection on today's stories.

You know, Liz Lemon once said, when it rains, it pours.

Some days we're talking about Mary from Sister Wives literally for 30 minutes.

And some days we cannot be contained to simply five stories.

And today is one of those days.

Just because our first story, there are like a million sub-stories because a copy of of harry prince harry windsor's memoir has been leaked to the guardian and like there are so many headlines and the bombshells revealed but i i feel like what's so bombshell worthy is not the stories themselves but the fact that he's saying that he's telling the stories because it's really like personal behind family stuff yeah yeah and honestly like I'm so fatigued by the Royals, like specifically Harry and Megan.

I feel like they really should have timed their documentary and then his sit-down interview and his book a little bit better because now it's like going to be two to three months back to back of just non-stop stories.

And it's so big that you can't ignore it, especially, you know, he's

the alleged

altercation getting physical.

Like you can't ignore it.

But like I just want to like preface by saying like I'm so over this family.

Like I need a break.

But here's the thing.

I saw only yesterday, this morning, all the other stories came out.

Yesterday I saw like there was alleged physical, physical altercation.

And honestly, like I was planning to ignore it.

Like, I don't care that the brothers had a tussle.

Like, that's what brothers do.

And for some reason, that's like the biggest story that's come out.

But I think of the other ones that I read this morning, like some of them are crazier and more interesting.

Well, I haven't read them because like I'm getting to the point where like I literally don't fucking care.

But I also am really into the fact that there's all these headlines and stories because I don't think I'm going to read the book.

So I want to know as much as I can by not reading the book.

No, I'm not reading the book either.

I, it's so funny how what got me into reading was celebrity memoirs.

And I could not tell you the last one I read.

Actually, it was Jeanette McCurdy and Josh Peck.

I read two last year.

They were both excellent.

I have to say, Josh Peck's book, I find myself thinking about all the time.

I really enjoyed it when I was reading it.

I think I even gave it five stars.

But I often think about like things he experienced or just like lessons he was learning and takeaways.

I cannot recommend the book enough.

And the podcast, Good Guys, a TNN show slash geometry.

Of TNN shows.

New episode of The Redheads came out today.

I heard.

And it's just a blast because when I was looking for stories, I saw it in page six.

Of course, because, you know, we're just those relevant topical news-making queens.

Everywhere.

And it's the first episode of 2023, which is so exciting.

It's really a great time to become the Redhead.

And the first book was A Smitch's Choice, which is really accessible.

We read It Girl by Ruth Ware.

It's a thriller.

And personally, I was stumped.

It's on my list.

Let me ask you a question.

We were talking about this on the Redheads.

Do you think it's the author's responsibility when doing a thriller to leave enough like breadcrumbs along the way that it's possible for you to guess?

Or do you think a really great thriller is like, wow, I could have never seen this coming?

Such a good conversation.

And I think it's not only applies to books, like movies too.

No.

I don't think that the author is required to give us breadcrumbs.

Having said that, it can't be Dan is gossip girl.

Like it can't have been physically impossible for the twist to actually be true.

So I want to be surprised, but I don't want to be like, I just wasted all my time because there's no fucking way that's possible.

Yeah.

Okay.

I do agree with you.

Dana was saying like it's, there should be enough context clues that like a really shrewd reader can figure it out.

And I agree.

And now looking back, all of it's there and she was setting us up for it, but I never in a million years could I have guessed it.

So I think the perfect example of like a thriller with a twist is Shudder Island.

Literally, I could not have guessed the ending of of that movie if my life fucking depended on it.

The second time I watched it, I'm like, oh my God, I'm a moron.

Like, it really, it is the perfect thriller film.

And that's why we're constantly referencing it here at The Toast because nobody has ever done it better.

Is it Quinton Tarantino?

Martin.

Scorse AZ.

Of course it is.

Martin.

Martin.

Martin.

Yeah, so I want you to read The It Girl, and I want your thoughts.

But you know what I watched recently that also had me thinking about this is The Glass onion that knives out.

Okay.

So me and Ben fell asleep and Billy's watching to it.

Actually, sorry, I fell asleep.

And like an hour later, I woke up and he was still watching it.

So I went back to bed.

And as I was falling asleep, I was actively trying not to like listen.

So I didn't finish it.

I don't know what happened.

I know the premise.

I got up to the part where they find out that like Daniel Craig and his horrendous accent actually weren't meant to be invited.

Like I really only made it like

literally happens in the first 20 minutes.

So it was really bad.

And though I never, I did not guess, you know, the twists and turns, I don't think anybody really could have, but it was just bad regardless whether or not you could guess it or not.

That's the other thing with a thriller is sometimes they'll just like have a bad twist that's not even good and like then you don't care.

Even if the twist had been good, I wouldn't have cared.

And I think maybe the twist was good, but the rest of the movie was just like so bad and all the characters were like so terrible and unlikable.

I only made it again 20 minutes and I agree, but I do love seeing Kate Hudson in a movie.

Like she is so everything of the sort.

She's such an it girl and she looked amazing and I didn't make it far enough to start disliking her character.

So I'm gonna maybe just not finish it.

Yeah.

No, I want you to watch it, but I do think that they kind of disgraced the knives out name because the first movie was just such a juggernaut.

The first movie was incredible.

Yeah.

And this was not that.

This was just like, you know, similar similar to like Murder Mystery, Adam Sandler, and Jennifer Anison on Netflix.

Yes, yes.

Well, that's also because it was just like a Netflix original and Knives Out was

a full theater experience.

Yeah.

Well, also speaking of podcasts, excited about the Redheads, but also some exciting, like housekeeping news about next week.

So I am headed to LA tomorrow and I've decided to spend the week there first because I'm saying yes to life.

And I have to say, I'm already regretting saying yes to life.

Nevertheless, she persisted.

So I've already said yes to this one.

Right.

I already said yes.

But you know what?

Like, I'm going to be happy and it's going to be fun and exciting.

I haven't been to LA in a long time.

And I decided just to spend the week there and do all of the toast episodes from LA.

I've never been to the Dear Media Studio.

So next week we will be running on LA time.

So for our East Coast girlies, just keep that in mind for the scheduling.

I'm also, we had an interview scheduled and the person actually lives in LA.

So I'm just going to go to LA and do it with that person there.

I think people are going to be kind of shook at this guest.

It's,

it's kind of crazy.

It is kind of crazy and definitely not what you would expect, but I think it's going to be great.

And I think that's, oh, no, it's not your first time doing a solo interview, but first time in a while, like not since I was pregnant.

No, now I'm like nervous.

Like you're going to be like, honestly, I think it's, you should be less nervous knowing that you like we're not that you worry about like colliding with me for talking but no i don't know you don't but in case that was a worry like it's gone.

Yeah, but then it's like, my God, there's no one to collide with.

Right, right.

No, but you're so conversational and you always have your next question lined up.

You'll be great.

Yeah, no, and I have to do a lot of prep.

I'm going to go in really prepared.

So next week's going to be a busy, busy week, LA girls.

So if any of my LA like people want to have me on their podcast, I'm just putting an official

memo out.

You should do the rounds.

Just official memo.

I haven't booked anything, like official memo.

I'm going to be in LA and I would love to do with that information what you will.

Do with with that information.

Los Angeles.

Do with that information what you will.

Los Angeles.

So I went to the nick game last night.

I saw.

And Ben, you know, texted me, of course, couldn't give me any less notice, like 3.30.

Games at 7.30, you want to go.

And I was like running between appointments and I had calls and then I ran out to get Botox.

And I was so like looking forward to a night of just like nothing.

And then I remembered I was saying yes to life.

So I was like, okay.

And then Ben did tell me they were courtside.

So I was like, oh, of course, yeah, I'll go.

Saying Yes to courtside.

Yeah, I was saying yes to wood.

That's what everyone calls it, wood, you know?

I didn't know.

And I was really, I was more so saying yes to like all the free food that comes with wood, you know, the Delta Lounge, JP Morgan lounge.

I got to like have a full sit-down meal at halftime

with like all the other, with all the celebs, you know, it was a star style affair.

Tracy Morgan, who I did get to meet like very briefly.

And it was, I'm a, I don't think there's actually anyone in the comedy space besides Joan Rivers who I like respect and love and and just am obsessed with more so that was really that was very exciting Z-Way was there I was in the elevator with Z-Way and Matt Damon was there and a ton of like you know former athletes who Ben was excited about and I hadn't um

familiar I wasn't familiar with somebody from Stranger Things they put you know when you're when you do like the celebrity row at a at a game they put like a clip of you in a movie or on TV and then they show you at the game so they like familiarize the crowd with who people are and so they put up the thing from stranger things and I looked up for a second and I thought it was Elliot Stabler, and I'm like, screaming.

I'm like, ah, ah, and Ben is so confused.

And then they show the guy from Stranger Things, who I swear to God, I've never seen in my life.

And I'm like, wait, what?

Ben was like, I was wondering why you were screaming.

Like, you don't even know what you're saying.

Does the guy look like Elliot Stabler?

No, but like in the clip they showed from Stranger Things, like it looked like Elliot Stabler.

So did they show your say yes to the dress clip and then you?

Shut up.

No, they did not.

No, they would show, I guess, a clip of the toast.

I, I mean, if it'd be nice.

I did,

I did get triggered this morning.

I was scrolling TikTok and like a toaster had made a TikTok of like a clip from our say yes to the dress.

And people were coming to be like, more and more.

I had to scroll right through it.

What was it?

Like, it was like just.

It was you guys being like, you should put on a crown.

And I was like, no.

I mean, if you guys like want me to put on a crown, I'll put on a crown.

Like, it was, uh,

it was,

it was really painful.

Um,

I know, I know that I probably wouldn't be sitting in this exact chair

if it weren't for say yes to the dress.

Like, you know, every decision in your life leads you to the next one.

A butterfly flaps its wings, and I have diarrhea, you know?

But

that doesn't make it any less painful or triggering.

Damn.

You should put on a crown.

I still think back fondly on your episode.

I thought you were so cute.

You know, when you watch the whole episode, it's not as great.

But like, here's the thing.

If they just had like a cute clip of you and you're so funny, you're like, I don't like the top, I don't like the bottom, and I don't like the middle.

No, okay.

Here's the thing.

You know, they always say like you shouldn't get married young.

And I feel like I'm living proof that that's actually not the case.

However, my episode of Say Yes to the Dress is great proof for

the notion that getting married young is never a good idea.

You shouldn't go on Say Yes to the Dress young.

Right, because you never know what opportunities might scurry across your desk when you're merely 21.

Yeah.

Even though, on the whole, the episode is so cute and it's not like, like, we thought we were doing something.

Oh, my God.

I think I watched it and I was like, proud.

Same.

I just, I thought it was so great.

I thought, like,

who could dislike us?

Right.

So yeah, I was triggered this morning.

I'm sorry.

Send it to me, will you?

No.

I couldn't even find it if I wanted to.

I scrolled over right past it.

Got it.

Got it.

Sorry to bring that up so early in the morning, but it was only top of mind because you posted a funny thing yesterday on your Instagram story about it.

Yes.

I don't want to say yes to the dress.

I want to say yes to life.

Yeah.

Saying yes to life greater than saying yes to the dress.

Yeah.

So I'm saying yes to life day like three or four.

I'm already regretting it, but I had such a good time at the game.

And I honestly, if I hadn't made this resolution, I would have said no.

And I would have told Ben, like, go with one of your friends who will like actually appreciate the game.

And like, you know, you'll have so much fun with them.

And I really, I did have a good time.

And the Knicks won, which they never do.

And it was like, I'm glad I went.

And that was the whole point in saying yes to life.

Cause I know when I go to things, like, I'm always happy that I went, but I don't know what it is.

It might be like seasonal depression or just like laziness, but I never want to go to any, even like, okay, we were having this conversation like in July.

We had gotten reached out to for like a dream guest

on this show.

They told us that this particular guest loves the toast, which was something we had thought.

And we were overwhelmed and it got delayed and then whatever.

It never ended up happening.

But while like we were in the process of planning it, like you and I were saying to each other, like, this is so big and so major.

Like, I hope it gets canceled.

Yeah, no, we were like, if it didn't happen, like, we wouldn't care.

But no, and it would be enough for me to know that she listens to the toast and wanted to come on.

Like, that was enough for me.

That is, and it still is.

It still is.

And if she's listening and she wants to reschedule, like, of course, we will come to you.

Of course, you are always welcome here.

But I can't lie, like, I don't know what that is.

It's like when major things happen and when major things don't happen, I'm like not mad when they don't.

And like, when they're happening, I'm like, I wish this got canceled.

Yeah.

Maybe it's just nerves.

I think that for that, it's just nerves.

I think that's different than like not wanting to go to events, events.

I want to go to events.

Events, events, I want to go to.

That's another thing I thought about.

Also, like, I could tell you, I think anyone can tell you, like, going to the nickname Courtside or Husband is going to be a good ass time.

No, of course.

And I'm just like a wench.

Yeah.

Like, it was amazing, but I'm just like tired and lazy.

And like, I give everything to this job.

Like, I really do.

Like.

When we do the toast, like, I am giving 100% of my personality, my energy, my humor.

When we're done and we're working and we're making content and we're taking meetings, like I give 100% of myself to this job.

So when the clock strikes, like 5.30, 6, like I'm ready to do fucking nothing, nothing for myself.

I recharge by doing nothing, not spending time out with friends and family.

No, that doesn't, that drains me even further.

Yeah.

But also going back to Shedder Island and events, events, I want to go to events.

Another piece of art that I find myself constantly thinking of and like

referencing is that comedy special.

The twist, she's gorgeous.

I keep saying events, events, I want to to go to events, invite me to your events.

What's the comedy special for anyone who hasn't seen it?

The Twist.

She's gorgeous.

It's on Netflix, Kat Cohen.

It was one of my favorite specials I watched this year.

It was so funny.

It's so, so good.

It's so good.

So it's just interesting what sticks with you.

Yeah.

Like movies, books, TV shows, like you love it in the moment, then you never think about it again.

Or like you like like it, and then you find yourself like being actually like impacted by it months later.

Yeah.

That's what happens with books all the time.

We were just talking about that on the Redheads, how we we need to re-rate every book we've read because like when we look at what we've rated high and what we've rated low, like it makes no sense.

No, but that's what like art is.

Art should make you think for long periods of time.

Yeah.

It should make you uncomfortable.

And personally, I'm getting comfortable being uncomfortable.

I don't think that's true.

I don't think you ever want to be feeling uncomfortable.

Inconvenienced?

I will not have it.

No.

No, I'm not like that.

I'm actually not comfortable at all being uncomfortable.

No.

All about comfort.

And what's so exciting about, and you didn't answer my text or my phone call last night, you must have been asleep.

And then you didn't answer in the morning, so you just like must have been busy.

Did you call me this morning?

Last night, because I was scheduling studio time at Dear Media, and they were sending me different pictures

of available studios.

And the studio I landed with has a Boogle chair.

I saw this morning.

So if that isn't Kisnett meant to be transatlantic wonder, then I don't know what is transatlantic wonder.

It's like, like, take this as your sign, TikTok.

Take this as your sign to use this podcast studio.

100%.

Yeah, no, a Buckel-friendly environment is a toast.

We love to see.

She was like, We have this studio available with window and this with a Buckel chair.

And I'm like, Did you say Boogle chair?

No, she's like, I said Bucle.

You illiterate.

No, I think culture swine.

It was via text, so it was Bookle.

Yeah, and it is Bookle.

So we've got a great show,

lots of stories.

I think we can dive in because much to discuss.

Okay, so without further ado,

here are the fast fighters.

Oh, the Streis brethren.

I miss those boys.

Miss them too.

That's the hard part about saying yes to life is that I'm spending a lot of time away from you.

You're saying no to Theo.

If I didn't have such an amazing, like, um,

travel care for Theo,

Ben's parents, like I, I would feel bad, but I don't even feel bad in the slightest.

Theo's like, great, I can't wait wait to get back to my grandma.

I was like, I hate it here.

Yeah, but you could also take him with you.

I could.

You could also send him down to his aunties to play with his

rice.

I could.

Just things to think about.

Things to think about.

Things in which to think.

While you're thinking about it, make sure to catch the fast-sized stories that you need to know.

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You're welcome.

Our first story is all about the leaking stories from Spare Prince Harry's new memoir.

The first, probably biggest story that everyone is in a tizzy over is that Prince Harry claims William physically attacked him over Megan Markle in his memoir.

Prince Harry claims in his new memoir, Spare, that the older brother, Prince William, physically attacked him per The Guardian.

In an excerpt obtained by The Outlet, Harry claims that William called the former's wife, Megan, quote, difficult, rude, and abrasive, which Harry goes on to describe as, quote, a parroting of the press narrative.

In response, Harry writes that William unleashed on him.

In response to what?

Like, he called him difficult, her difficult, rude, and abrasive.

And then in response, he unleashed.

Well, that wouldn't be a response.

That would be a further comment.

Okay, wait.

She said, it all happened so fast, so very fast.

He grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and he knocked me to the floor.

I landed on the dog's bowl, which cracked under my back, the pieces cutting into me.

I lay there for a moment, dazed, then got to my feet and told him to get out.

He claims that the alleged altercation left him with a visible back injury.

And

the heated exchange with William occurred at Nottingham College after he expressed interest in discussing...

Cottage, after he expressed interest in discussing the rolling catastrophe of his crumbling relationship with Harry.

Harry claims that William was piping hot during their chat after insults were exchanged.

Harry writes that that William claimed he only wanted to help his younger brother.

Um, okay, first of all, that little excerpt I find like shocking in terms of the writing style.

It feels like very

basic.

I laid there, my back hurt, you know, like

no, sorry, I don't know if it feels basic, like elementary.

No, it does feel

if I don't know to me, it feels like the opposite, not like, you know, incredible prose, but just like

like storytelling.

Storytelling, yes.

So I do agree.

I'm trying.

I really,

I don't like this man.

Like, I know.

I feel like I never finished the Harry and Megan thing because like life got in the way.

But from the first three parts, like my takeaway, like I was really, um

I was really kind of wowed by Megan and I was really kind of like, ugh, by Harry.

And so now I'm just, because I never finished a documentary and I don't know if this is accurate or not, I'm just like, ugh, Harry, like, stop.

I mean, anyone who speaks ill of someone's wife, like, it would make more sense.

This story is just confusing because, like, it would make more sense if William said something nasty about Megan and then Harry punched him.

But like, he said something nasty and attacked and then punched him.

That's double whammy.

No, yeah.

I just feel like this is Harry's truth.

Yeah.

I think there's a lot.

And I'm sure if we heard William's side of this scuffle, it would be biased towards William.

Like, there's, you know, three sides to every story.

Harry's, Williams, and the truth.

Yeah.

But I just think it's one, I think like brothers fight.

I think like

if you and I, if we had a disagreement, it wouldn't, I don't think it would ever really become physical.

Physical.

I do think with brothers, like it does.

Not to, you know, I don't condone that or anything, but like you gotta, you know, you rough them up a little.

No, and then I also think this is like a, an instance of like perception and language because, you know, you could tell this story and be telling the truth truth and you know chalk it up to like a brotherly scuffle or you can like almost dramatize it a little bit like my back was injured like you can

they're both true but

the way that see this attack could have many different degrees of meaning right so that's interesting that i when i saw this i wasn't like blown away because At the end of the day, that is what brothers do.

I don't see, like, of course, we don't know the Royals at all, but I see William as like reserved and like weird and like conservative so I honestly I can't even picture him like getting all hot and bothered over Megan

yeah I just we need more to the story but then also it makes me think about the documentary and how like they never really talked about anything with William and Kate other than like Megan saying that they were much more formal than she expected privately and that um then when they're leaving he gets in uh he was upset with how William's office like handled squashing that rumor.

Yes.

But it's like, so they were fighting.

There was a physical fight?

Like, Like, where was that when you're telling the whole last story?

Oh my God, that's so true.

That's what it is.

It's like, we thought we knew everything in Oprah.

Then it turned out this documentary came out and not only was there so much more, but also it did kind of conflict with some of what they were saying on Oprah.

Now it's like the sit-down interview in the book and it's like, well, I thought this was telling your whole story in the documentary.

Yeah.

I'm just getting fatigued.

You can only tell your story so many times, honestly.

Like,

it's like Miley.

It's like Demi.

Me, Miley.

I agree.

So that's like what people are quaking over, though.

I don't think like brothers fighting is that crazy.

But here are some more headlines.

In Harry's book, he says King Charles made, quote, sadistic jokes about Prince Harry's, quote, real dad.

Right.

King Charles made sadistic jibes about Prince Harry's real father, the prince reveals in his new memoir.

Harry, 38, grew up amid public speculation that his true father was Princess Diana's former lover, Major James Hewitt.

The prince writes in his new book, Spare, how Charles seemingly enjoyed making hurtful comments about his parentage.

In one segment, seen by page six, Harry writes, quote, Pa liked telling stories, and this was one of the best in his repertoire.

He'd always end with

a burst of philosophizing.

Who knows if I'm really the Prince of Wales?

Who knows if I'm even your real father?

He'd laugh and laugh, though it was a remarkably unfunny joke given the rumor circulating just then that my actual father was one of Mummy's former lovers,

Major James Hewitt.

One cause of this rumor was Major Hewitt's flaming ginger hair, but another cause was sadism.

Harry said that the tabloid readers loved the idea that his dad was not really Charles, insisting it likely made them feel better about their own lives.

Quote, never mind that my mother didn't meet Major Hewitt until long after I was born.

Oh, well, okay, well, that's an interesting tidbit.

Yeah.

But go back.

What I don't get Charles's joke.

Maybe I'm not the Prince of Wales.

That's what I was going to say too.

That is weird.

Like, he

would just philosophize.

That's his word.

Who knows if I'm really the Prince of Wales?

Who knows if I'm even your real father?

What's the problem?

Maybe that's like him playing on tabloid culture.

I don't know.

It's definitely an inappropriate joke to make to your kid, for sure.

Yeah.

But it's interesting that those rumors did penetrate the walls of Buckingham Palace.

Right.

But I feel like it's like when there's such a crazy rumor about you that's so untrue.

And I feel like even like you and I couldn't relate to this on a small level.

Like we joke about it all all the time.

Yeah.

But it's obviously like really

right, but it's also probably really hurtful for Harry because like his mom's not there to

this thing that kind of hangs over him.

And Charles is his only parent and now he's saying, well, maybe I'm not.

Like, no, Charles is a dick.

Like for sure.

I didn't need Harry to tell me.

But I don't understand the rest of the joke.

I feel like, not in Charles's defense, but like.

I feel like he's trying to say something else by saying, who knows if I'm really the Prince of Wales?

Is he saying that Queenie stepped out?

Right, right.

No, I don't get the joke at all, but like i do feel harry and

and i think what his takeaway here is like my dad is a prick and i feel that yeah

because i get like to to joke about outlandish rumors about yourself like is helpful when coping with them um but at the end of the day you're also a parent and like that's inappropriate yeah

yeah

next headline

You're gonna be think they're gonna be interested in this Prince Harry claims William and Kate told him to wear the Nazi costume.

Oh my god, you're fucking kidding me!

Prince Harry sensationally puts some of the blame of his Nazi uniform scandal on his brother, Prince William, and his sister-in-law in his new memoir.

Prince Harry claimed that Kate and William howled with laughter when they saw him dressed up for the 2005 party.

Harry was 20 years old when the Sun newspaper published a front page photo of him dressed as a Nazi with a red armband emblazoned with a big swastika.

The picture was taken at a costume party with a native and colonial theme, where William was also a guest and was dressed in a homemade lion outfit.

In one segment of the book obtained by page six, Harry writes about choosing the outfit, revealing that it was a toss-up between two costumes, a pilot or a Nazi.

Oh, I thought it was going to be a Nazi or blackface.

He said, I phoned Willie and Kate, asked what they thought.

Nazi uniform, they said, Harry writes, adding that when he went home and tried it on for them, they both howled.

Worse than Willie's Leotard outfit.

Way more ridiculous, which again was the point.

Okay, what I find really interesting was that in the first part of the documentary, like they, they talked about that and how Harry's like really, you know, working hard to become actively anti-racist and taking accountability for his problematic past.

And then it seems like this book is like he wants to like kind of shove accountability a little bit onto his brother.

Like, let's say that this is how it happened.

Like, when you are trying to like learn from your mistakes and grow, like, you don't shift blame onto other people.

Like, you take responsibility, you take full responsibility, and that's that.

You don't like make excuses, and even whether this is true or not, like, it, it definitely, you know, he diminishes his accepting responsibility for it by placing blame

with his brother.

And honestly, I can't tell if I'm just in like my hating Harry Windsor era, but like, I

don't know, I don't see it.

You don't believe it.

And maybe that's because, like, I'm definitely like

annoyed with Harry.

You know what's so interesting?

I actually met someone when I was in Belize who is from the UK and it came up.

And I feel like the difference in like UK and American discourse when it comes to these four is so different.

And the conversation of Harry's paternity came up and the conversation of the documentary.

And I felt like

the conclusion we both really came to was that, like, and I don't think this was how they meant for it to come across, but like, my major takeaway from that documentary was like, so many things failed Megan.

Like, the system failed Megan,

the family failed Megan, but like, most importantly, her husband really failed her.

He did not protect her.

He did not really prepare her.

Like, she thought there was going to be this whole orientation into becoming a royal, and there wasn't.

And her husband didn't step in at all and help her with what to wear and how to act and how to curtsy and which fork to use.

And that left her feeling really vulnerable.

And I don't even think she, she didn't blame him, but like from the outside, I'm like, well, your husband grew up in this.

Shouldn't he be the one to help you?

Yeah.

And if he can't help you, find like a teacher for you.

Yeah.

So, like, I'm really seeing this all now through the lens.

And my perspective on this has changed so much over the last years, every time I learned something new.

But my perspective on it now is like, Harry really, um,

amongst all the people who were involved, like, I feel like Harry failed Megan the most.

Yeah, and I also feel like that's why he's making these huge steps and really like just like turned his back completely on the whole system because he's kind of ashamed of how he handled it and wants to do right.

He even said when he was, he said that specifically about when Megan first started struggling with her mental health.

Yeah.

That when she first came to him, that he didn't support her and have her back in the way that she needed and that he was ashamed of that.

And so now I think, and I think it's the same way, you know, maybe he was more firm oriented than boyfriend, husband oriented.

And so he's course correcting in these huge major ways.

Oh, that's interesting.

I didn't know that part

that, like, he wasn't like 100% there for her when it came to her mental health.

So, yeah,

that's where I'm at currently.

For me, like, right now.

What did the person from the UK say?

Like, that everyone is just like tired.

And the paternity thing, it's like, well, now it seems even more relevant that Charles is

the sovereign because a lot of people in the UK like really do not believe Harry to be a Charles's son.

But what

it doesn't change anything really because he still wouldn't, he won't be king.

No, but like now that he's outside of the like he would like Gran was his Gran, like he had a relationship with Gran.

He has no relationship with his father.

And there's like crazy rumors that it's not even his dad.

So there's no connection.

Yeah, but William's his brother.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But they have no connection either.

Yeah.

So that's the lens I'm currently seeing the situation through.

And it's subject to change.

But for me, like Harry is the villain here.

He really is.

Yeah.

So I don't know.

I just feel like he's doing all, like you said, these grand gestures to support Megan and kind of taking his brother and sister-in-law down with him.

And I'm not just going to believe right outright that it was Kate Middleton's idea for him to dress like a Nazi.

Like, I don't believe that.

Like, I can understand.

And by the way, like, I can see, I don't ever think anyone should dress like a Nazi, but I can see how, like, you're 16 and you think it's funny and you're a fucking moron.

Like, I can get it.

I get it.

I get how something like that happens.

It's inexcusable, but I get it.

People make mistakes.

So now, 10 years later, to like quote unquote, take accountability and then say it was someone else's idea in your book.

I don't know.

It just, it feels very inauthentic to me.

Yes, but he also cites it as kind of the start of the break between him and William because Harry was like, felt like he was left out in the cold and he took the whole brunt of it when, and William came out, you know, smelling like flowers when William maybe goaded him into wearing it.

So I think he might, in his defense, he might be sharing it to say this was the start of like

tension between us.

Yeah.

I just feel like a recurring problem in the royal family with its members and then people who join the family is like they go through these scandals or like tabloid drama and they have to go through it alone.

And that leaves them very isolated and they don't feel supported.

I think it happened with everyone, even like what we saw in the crown, like with Diane, of course, but also with Charles.

Like everyone feels like they don't have the support of the family and the firm.

And like, maybe they should just start.

supporting each other.

Yeah, but it feels like they're, I don't know who the firm is that's not a family member.

Right.

Even with the queen in her early days, like there were so many things that she wanted to do that people said that she could not do and that she didn't.

Like she didn't let Margaret marry the man that she wanted, even though at first she was like, go do your thing.

Right.

So it's like, who is that overall mighty power?

Yeah.

Whereas like even the queen can't do.

Even in the documentary, there's

in the days where they're leaving, but it's not, you know, they're just taking a step back.

It's like between step back and, you know,

Sayonara,

Harry wants a meeting with the queen.

She said, like, my schedule is open.

Come by.

And then he gets a call from her peep saying her schedule is booked.

She can't see you.

But it's like, she's the motherfucking queen.

No, but so that has to come from the top.

Like, if the queen wants to meet with someone, her people will arrange it.

Like, I don't think that her people were coming in between.

I feel like she didn't want to fucking talk to Harry.

But she said, like.

Come see me.

I think that might be one of the problems that they're

two-faced queen.

It's like everyone is is two-faced like they say one thing and then like their team does another but the team is led by the leader i think i don't think she's i think they say one thing and then they are convinced of another and then they let the team do the legwork

that's what i think that's what i i feel like we saw in the crown a lot that's interesting you know she's like standing so firm on something And then they're like, no, girl, can't be like that.

I just,

I need a break from Harry.

He's really annoying me.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's only going to rev up.

The book comes out in five days.

And there are way more stories and like just personal and like comments, private comments that were made.

He shared a comment that his dad made at Prince Philip's funeral

to him about like him and his brother getting along better.

And it's just like, I don't need to know the personal feelings of a grieving son at his father's funeral.

It's so personal.

Like this is airing so much dirty laundry.

It's so uncouth.

I, you know, I'm sure people in his family acted badly towards him.

I'm sure he fought with his brother and they disagreed.

Okay, that's what families do.

We don't need to hear about it.

It ain't our business.

It's not.

I agree

making it like leading such a private life with a

family that's in the public, but their private lives, they try to maintain as much privacy as possible.

And everything still leaks.

So if there's things that haven't leaked and like now you're the one who's just going to put it all out there.

Yeah, no,

it's not how I would ever do it.

But that's just me.

Yeah.

So I'm sure there'll be more to come, but just that's what's there so far.

But I'm also sure that these are the biggest things because I don't think that they would hold back.

Then they'll, you know, they'll start to try and pull.

He must be so annoying.

I don't think that this book would be so current.

I thought it was going to be about his upbringing.

Yeah, like a memoir.

No, but like about his childhood, about the role of the spare and like

his mother.

I didn't even, I honestly like, didn't even think his wedding and Megan would be in it because he has two more books to write for the publishing house.

It's a three-book deal.

I've had enough.

So it'd be like spare,

spare the sequel, hair the spare, spare the trilogy.

That's a lot.

Like, I

is anyone else really fatigued by this?

Like, I'm over it.

I'm ready to move on.

And it's also so fatiguing because we'll never hear the other side.

I know.

So we just sit here and

you try and like play devil's advocate, but what if it's the devil?

No, it's so true, by the way.

Like, the discourse on

all that they've released in the last year is so unbalanced that it's almost like not even a fair fight.

It's like, it's like fighting with a mute person.

You're never going to get a rebuttal.

There are two sides to every story.

And I'm never inclined to just believe one person's entire side.

I'm sure that a lot of what Harry's saying is true.

And I'm sure a lot of it could be explained differently from a different perspective.

So it's really, it's not entirely fair.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little more British drama news?

Yeah, as long as it has nothing to do with these people, I'm like over them.

It has to do with British drama.

Yes, I'm ready.

Ellie Goulding addresses the rumor that she cheated on Ed Sheeran with Niall Horan.

Ellie Goulding shut down longstanding rumors that she cheated on Ed Sheeran with One Direction band member Niall Horan many years ago.

She addressed the unfounded rumors when a person commented on her TikTok video from last week where she was dancing to Prep's cover of Harry Stiles' song As It Was.

She captioned the video, quick boob, check then, were birthday groovin'.

One TikToker, TikToker, decided to get personal with Goulding and accuse her of being unfaithful.

They said, can't believe you cheated on Ed with Niall, but slay FR.

Is that for real?

Yeah.

Slay for real.

She said, false, but also slay.

The thing for me is like, this was never a rumor.

This was just a fact.

Like a fact of life is that, you know, the sky is blue and Ellie Goulding left Ed Sheeran for a Nihil horn and cheated on.

She didn't believe one person for a Nile horse horse horse.

No, and she cheated on.

That was just a fact of life.

I feel like Ed has written many songs about her.

Like it's like not even up for debate.

And I didn't even know we were debating this.

So for Ellie Goulding, who believes this not to be true, like that's fucking annoying.

And I'm surprised she didn't tackle it sooner.

I don't think it's true.

Even before her rebuttal, because you know what?

It's too good to be true.

Like that these

strong, huge British darkening, like it's Ed Sheeran and Niall Horn, like cheat on him.

I don't think so.

I think that was maybe

a nobody slip.

Maybe she cheated on him with some random.

But this would be, if this was really a real love triangle, like it would have more legs.

Okay, the weird thing to me is like, I feel like Ellie Golding and Niall Horn are generations apart.

How old is Ellie Goulding?

Like, I don't

see him being 36, and Sharon is 31.

No,

Niall Horan.

Niall Horan is, he's probably, what's Harry's age?

Like, 30.

29.

Okay, so there was like a big age.

Not huge, but okay.

I just, I wanted to settle that.

Um, I feel like Ellie Golding actually has like a really interesting relationship history.

Like, remember when her and Calvin Harris were like OTP?

Yeah.

That was so crazy.

Yeah.

And we're going to need some new music, is what we're going to do.

We're going to need some new music.

And we're going to need a new like celeb relationship from her, even though I feel like she did the circuit and like hated it.

Why do I think she's married?

No.

I feel like she got married quietly.

Yeah.

She's married to Casper Jopling in 2019.

Oh, so I guess we won't be getting a celeb relationship from her.

No, we won't be.

And she performed at Megan and Harry's wedding.

So oh, wow.

What a non-

Yeah, what a great get.

She's so British.

She's so British.

Like that's a great get.

Yeah.

Well, I have recently kind of started standing Niall Horan.

Like I follow him on TikTok and I always liked his music, but he's kind of like funny and cute.

And like I feel like he doesn't get like a lot of like the 1D, like when he was in One Direction, he was like.

like the fourth or fifth most interesting.

Like people were not, I feel like it was Harry and then Zane and then Liam and then Niall and then Louie.

But he really turned it around with his solo career and he's so talented and he releases such good music and he has like a huge fandom now.

And obviously it's not on the level of Harry, but like he's the second most successful out of the One Direction people.

And I just find that like I'm shocked by that.

I know.

I saw him on tour.

I know you did.

The Flickr tour.

And I just think not enough people know about his song, Seeing Blind with Marin Morris.

It's literally so good.

He went on tour with Marin Morris.

I was there.

Wow, that's a nice tour.

Me and Snitch, we had Counselor's Day Out.

I'm seeing that.

So good.

So good.

His album is really good.

The one with Flickr.

This Town.

Good stuff.

Yeah, he's like super talented and really cute.

And he was like blonde in one direction.

And I don't know if that's his natural hair color, but it wasn't the right color for him.

And now he's like a chestnut brunette and he has been for a while.

And I feel like that's really been a huge part of my standem.

And I'm really happy for him.

And he loves Taylor Swift.

And he's like so funny.

And I really liked him when he dated Haley Steinfeld.

Like, he's kind of like a really good celebrity.

Do you think you're doing anyone now?

I don't think so.

Maybe snitch.

Perfect.

Do you think he would convert?

I threw the snitch, yeah.

I would convert for the snitch.

100%.

I really, like, I'm glad we spoke about that.

Like, I'm really kind of into him.

I'm in, like, my Nihil era.

Yeah.

No, I like all these people.

I'm glad there's no bad blood.

I would have been here for it if there was.

Who do you think is like the biggest flop in the one direction?

They've all done like different solo things, except like Louis, he like maybe has released one song.

I think it's fair to say, no, because I feel like he's been through a lot personally.

Like he lost his mom and his sister like in the same year.

And I feel like he didn't, it's not like he didn't try.

I mean, sorry, it's not like he tried.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

He just kind of took, but then like Liam tried really hard and Zane tried really hard and like they both flopped.

I feel like it's a tie for last place.

Between Liam and Zayn.

Like Zayn started out really strong.

Pillow Talk, The Taylor, and then like, he released a whole album last year.

And, like, I couldn't find one person who gave even a shred of a shit.

Well, I think it's the elder abuse.

The elder abuse was.

But then,

I know you don't know this, but like, Liam kind of went viral on TikTok, like, in a negative way.

Like, all these old videos of him performing like at the start of his debut, like, solo career, that were, like, cringe.

And he was, like, in a mall, and like, people were making fun of him.

Like, it.

Like, the thing with Zane is that nobody cared.

The thing with Liam is like people cared, but like in a negative way.

What's worse?

I don't know.

Yeah, but I feel like Liam, sometimes I I listen to a song and like he's on it.

Really?

No.

Yeah.

He has like, he has some features.

He has some features.

I don't know.

And isn't he a father now?

So he's busy.

Yes, he's busy.

So is Zane.

So is Zane.

Right.

Busy.

I think they're all, except for, no, Harry and Niall are not, but Cheryl and Zane.

No, Cheryl and Liam had a baby, which is weird because she was like the judge on X Factor and then they started dating.

And Zane has a baby.

I don't think Louie does.

Yeah.

Remember when London Direction said they were going on hiatus and like it's been five years?

Yeah.

No, they're not coming back together, but we have to move our hopes and optimism onto Little Mix.

Or our hope and optimism onto like maybe a collab song with Harry and Niall.

Like I don't even think that's crazy.

Oh, that would be so cute.

They're both talented.

Like he could literally be collabing with anyone.

Beyonce.

Speaking of collab, did you see that the Kardashians have been using quite a few Taylor Swift songs in their TikTok and then North and Kim literally did one yesterday to shake it off of singing the lyrics like mouthing it.

I saw North and Kim.

That's pretty huge.

Yeah, I'm sure Taylor's like, sure.

Taylor's like, I'm not getting more Taylor's people again.

No, she's just like, oh, so now you want to, like, you want to chat?

Yeah, no, I think it's not going to happen.

No.

And if I were Taylor, like, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't either.

Yeah, it's like, it's too much.

And also, not everyone needs to be friends.

So I'm glad you're going to enjoy my music.

It's firefighters.

I've always known that.

Agreed.

Enjoy.

Make your little TikToks.

Enjoy.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Gabrielle Union says she felt, quote, entitled to cheating in her first marriage.

I'm sorry, this is funny.

This is funny, but we need to talk about the ethics.

Gabrielle Union is opening up about infidelity and how her first marriage fell apart.

The actress recently sat down on the Armchair Expert podcast with Dak Shepard, where she spoke about her first marriage with former professional football player Chris Howard and how it was destined to fail from the beginning.

She described her marriage as, quote, dysfunctional since day one.

She said she was definitely not getting wife of the year awards.

Quote, in my first marriage, neither one of us felt like the marriage should get in the way of our dating.

A part of it was like keeping up with his activities, like, oh, that's what you're doing.

You're going to feel this one.

And I just felt entitled to it as well.

She said, I was paying all the bills.

I was working my ass off.

And I felt like that's what comes, the spoils of riches.

It was such a stupid relationship that should have never gotten out of the dating phase.

She also recalled a friend gifted her and her ex-husband a therapy session where the therapist recommended the two separate because they had quote nothing in common she also added that the therapist said the one thing you guys have in common is other people so why don't you just be with other people during the conversation dax also opened up about his past relationship where he noted that he was in an open relationship for nine years and he regrets some of his actions during that time to which union responded i wish i had more guilt for some of that

Okay, I mean, like, the headlines about this have been misleading.

Like, she's, you know, indignant and like, yeah, I was making more money.

I should have been allowed to cheat.

That's actually what she was saying.

She was saying, like, at at the time she was younger and like that's really how she saw things.

Right, but also the headline is misleading because they don't let us know that like it's a pretty much an open relationship that he's seeing other people too.

No, but then like the discourse around like women who make more money being entitled to cheat, like people like had something to say about it.

Right.

So, okay, let's talk about that discourse, but I just, I feel like a little bit of justice needs to be served for her because that's like not what she said because they were both with other people.

And

if he's going to be with other people, like that should entitle her to be with other people.

It was completely taken out of context.

But people are like living for this headline.

She felt entitled to cheat on him because she was paying all the bills and making all the money.

And here's the thing.

I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

So you know what?

Like I'm here for it.

Yeah.

No, I'm not.

Because you have to think about it in the reverse.

Like if a man ever said that or thought that, like, what?

No, no, I'm totally kidding.

It's obviously like not okay.

We would send him to that island with Louie, Teresa's husband, and we'd say, go to man camp.

Take your shirt

and ghost cream at the beach.

Fix yourself.

Yeah, no, obviously, like, money has no bearings on

fidelity.

Like, the two are totally separate entities.

But I, like, kind of still think it's funny.

It is funny, but I hope that no one's, you know, take any life advice from this headline.

No, because it's totally misleading and completely taken out of context.

Yeah.

So either be in an open relationship if you you want to cheat or don't be in a relationship.

Yeah, or don't.

Pretty simple.

Very simple.

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Awesome.

Our next story.

Wedding bells are ringing for Ashley Olson as she marries artist Louie Eisner in a secret wedding ceremony.

TV star turned high fashion mogul Ashley Olson married her longtime beau, artist Louie Eisner in a hush-hush ceremony at a private Bel Air home last week, sources exclusively told page six.

They hear that only a few dozen guests attended the event on December 28th.

Specifics about the ceremony are unclear, but one insider told page six that it went late with 50 people or so total.

The two have been dating since 2017, but the couple are intensely private and rarely appear together in public.

There's only only even like one red carpet photo of them from an event they attended last September.

I mean, everything the Olsons do is so chic, but like all the details coming out about this, like 50 people, Bel Air, he's an artist, like so fucking chic.

Chic, chic, chic.

Like I could never be this chic.

He's an artist, but he's an Epo baby.

You know, he's not.

He's a chicer.

He's not like a star baby.

Or his parents.

So his mom, I think, is a jewelry designer, and his dad was once president of the David David Geffen Company.

Oh.

So just like big wigs.

Oh, that's like major.

David Geffen, like, I don't even know who that is or what he does, but it's like major money.

Like, yeah.

Okay, good.

You love to, that's chic.

Sorry.

Chic is chic.

Everything the Olsons do is iconic.

And this is just like so.

elegant and like we know nothing about this wedding so we're just left to our imaginations and i'm sure it was just like fucking chic and like tasteful not like over the top a million roses just like so classy like cost a million dollars but you would never know yeah i would love to see a dress like I really would.

They're such tastemakers, MKNA.

And I'm going to hope against hope that she does like, that she did like a little vogue something.

We could get a photo.

It just, you know, that's what we need.

We need to be inspired.

We need to be aspired.

And we need to be as a like a community, as a culture, we need to be elevated.

And only Ashley Olson's wedding dress can do that for us.

It's dark times out there.

Ashley Olson has a responsibility to humanity to lift us up.

Yeah.

And I think, I think she could maybe be open to it.

No, I think the best and only chance we get is like a very small Vogue exclusive.

Yeah.

I just one picture of the dress.

That's all I need.

Yeah.

I'm sure she made it herself.

I'm sure it's the Row.

Yeah.

It would be great for the brand if they need a little publicity, but I think they do fine.

By the way, like the Row is the uniform for like rich classy girls everywhere.

Everyone is like the Row pants, like something Navy's always wearing the Row.

Yeah.

When I tell you I don't own one thing from The Row, I'm like the opposite of their clientele.

I'm like fat and and like I wear lots of colors.

Well, not today, but like I wear like just basic shit.

Like I don't think I'm their target demo.

Yeah, no, I don't think I own anything either.

It's so expensive like for expensive sake.

It's for it's so expensive and it's not like diamonds.

It's like a t-shirt.

Yes.

They make basics.

They do make basics.

And I think a t-shirt, you know, shouldn't be that expensive.

But there are some things like I remember they had this like bag once that was so expensive like it was real skin you know that it was like a bag that looked like a real bag but i think it was like real crock or whatever so that costs money yeah um

like i would love to be a the row girl like morgan stewart is the row you know that guy charles from tick tock charles gross let's talk about it he is the row he's always wearing like the row pants the row blazes are the row trench it's so elegant it's so chic and it's so not me yeah so i think we just need to see what ashley's wearing i mean if she wanted to show a picture with her bridesmaid, Mary Kate, that would be really sweet.

Think about it, ladies.

Think about it.

Take a second.

It's just like,

it would heal the world, I think.

It would definitely do something to the world.

Like when they showed up at the Met Gala and like were photographed together on the red carpet for the first time since they were literally in full house, like that reset fashion.

It reset culture.

Like, come on, give us something.

Yeah, it's true.

We need a reset.

But I'm also really, like, when I I look at them, like to me, they're a Hollywood success story.

Like they managed to kind of evade

fame.

Like they had it.

They had, they were the A-list young Hollywood fashion acting.

Like they had it.

And I don't think that they liked it.

And they over the years like managed to slink.

I think they lead very normal lives.

Yeah, and they're extremely successful and still work in the

adjacent, but they're doing what they want to be doing.

And they don't, and a lot of celebrities do what they want to do but they also have to do the other stuff that they hate to selena be able to do the but no but no

no i like i feel like nobody even talks like to me they're like a case study for like

they got out they got out and who knows what would have happened they were so young and so impressionable and so famous and like who knows what could have happened but i don't know what whether like they're you know they had really good parents or they didn't want to be famous anymore i don't know what it was but like the motivation but i'm so happy for them yeah and i do think that they had their struggles like mary kane of course went through a rough time

you know what they need they need to like sit down and do a podcast like i would love to know or a documentary no it's like documentary is so like

hey look at me no but like a podcast talks to other people in your live life they can like add clips of things that they like said over the years it's hard to reflect on your own life and like be so certain of like what those moments and choices that you made were where that were inflection points you know what i mean but i honestly think we have a better chance of getting them to sit down and do a podcast than we do of them ever doing a documentary like a documentary is such a big production yeah but someone else can do it someone else could really do it yes it's months and years whereas like a podcast is like an hour i know but it's an hour of i don't know would you rather someone i mean you would do both in a second i would like a production with a with a weekly podcast every time a new episode comes out yeah no but like for a documentary it's like Harry and Megan didn't make their documentary.

They sat down for those interviews and

then it was done and their story was told.

Right, but then you're also putting your story in someone else's hands.

Yeah, and they didn't love what Liz did.

They didn't like it.

This was Liz's vision.

That's how Liz sees it.

Sees it.

Right.

Yeah.

Maybe we need it to be from the other one, Elizabeth.

Huh?

The sister.

Oh my God.

That is like such a crazy.

Let's talk about that.

First of all, I can't be the only person who's constantly confusing Elizabeth Olson and Dakota Fanning.

Like they're literally the same person.

And also Elizabeth's

Scientology

Moss.

No,

I get confused because I always think her name is Elizabeth James because their old clothing line, Elizabeth and James, they're siblings.

Elizabeth Olson, like literally coming out of the woodwork, Nepo Queen, and just like becoming

slaying the house down, becoming like such a well-respected artist and actress.

Like it's so random.

For sure, though I do have to say I respect, I think she slays the game.

I don't think I've ever seen one thing that she's in.

I saw her in that Hulu show where she played that girl with the eyebrows who killed, who convinced her boyfriend to kill himself, remember?

Oh, yeah.

She was excellent.

She was the girl in that?

Michelle.

Yeah.

She was in Khayab.

Are you sure she was the girl in that?

Positive.

I'm not seeing it on her movies and TV.

She's also, most people know her from WandaVision.

Which I never saw.

Okay, now you're going to make me go.

Elizabeth Olson, Google, Elizabeth Olson, Hulu, Michelle, murder, girl.

Love and death.

No.

I'm just not seeing Michelle murder girl.

Sorry, no, maybe it wasn't.

Am I not?

Thinking of who Elizabeth Olson is?

Wait, the girl from Plainville?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, the girl from Plainville is played by.

L.

Fanning, you're right.

You really do get them.

Oh my God.

I'm getting them confused.

Okay.

Wait.

Wait.

So, no, you've not seen Elizabeth Olson in anything.

I'll tell you.

She's in Avengers, Doctor Strange,

Avengers, More, Captain America.

She's like a superwoman, but you've not seen these things.

Okay.

I knew I was.

okay

that's so funny like how my confusion just came full circle i

have no idea who elizabeth olson is i'm just learning something new about myself like i've never seen her in anything i just know i'm at l fanning she was incredible in the girlfriend plain view that that fucking show was twisted yeah she's another one little sis made it big yeah see that's why i get them confused little sis made it big i confused her with the snitch too

who wouldn't

have to settle that had a little sister energy.

Totally.

Happy for the Olsons.

Hoping for a pick.

Mazotov.

Are you ready for our next story?

Oh, and I guess he's Jewish, Eisner.

Okay.

So is she a Jewess?

This would be our fifth and final.

Not a Christian.

She could be a Jew and believe in God.

Wouldn't this be our fifth and final?

This next one would be our fifth and final.

You said, are you ready for our next story?

It is both next and fifth and final.

Good, okay.

Yes, I'm ready.

Jen Shah's federal case um

has just thrown a wrench a wrench has been thrown by a 2019 restraining order is coming back to haunt her ahead of the sentencing jen shaw's upcoming sentence which she will be sentenced today might be i know so i was just gonna say i was checking to see if there's an update i i don't think it'll be for a while but by the time you listen to this episode like it might be out whenever you listen to this episode we'll have the recap tomorrow but it's today like after all of this like it's finally happening i don't know why i'm smiling it's like not funny Um,

but her sentencing might be stiffer thanks to a woman who informed the feds about a restraining order she once got against the reality star, and prosecutors want the judge to take it into account.

Prosecutors in Jed's federal fraud case just filed new docs this week asking the court to consider a 2019 restraining order obtained by a woman who claims she once had some trouble with the star.

The feds say the woman reached out to them via a letter and now want the judge to take a look at how she described their interaction.

With Jen's upcoming sentencing hearing on Friday, oh, sorry, tomorrow, not today.

Prosecutors want to make sure the judge sees what the woman had to say because they believe it to be consistent with how Jen has interacted with others.

In other words, they think the woman's account will back what they claim they've discovered about Jen's character throughout these proceedings.

And it seems like prosecutors are hoping it leads to a harsher sentence.

Now, I think this is coming because Jen also, her team put forth a statement, like, you know, asking for leniency, saying, you know, Jen is this and that and that wonderful person.

And so this woman's saying like, no, she's not.

I have a restraining order against her.

Like, she's none of those things.

She's nothing of the sort.

I mean, I feel like it's so crazy for the federal government to, like, literally add more evidence to your case the day before sentencing.

Like, they're definitely like trying to make an example out of Jen.

And you know what?

Like, Jen's crimes, like,

I always, I'm always going to compare Jen's crimes to like Christley or Teresa.

Jen's crimes are so egregious.

Like, that's what I was saying yesterday.

It's like, I know the Christleys did something wrong, but like, I'm not going to feel bad like stealing from a bank.

Like, the bank is going to be fine.

You compare Jen's crimes to the Christleys?

I come.

I compare this whole saga, like the

trial and the eventual sentencing of like reality stars.

Like, I'm always going to compare them.

Okay.

Okay.

But the difference here is like, even, like, I know the Christleys did something wrong.

I know, but I still do feel bad for them.

Like, they're, you know, they did that shit, but like, literally, you're not going to find me crying over the banks, even though they did give us that federal holiday.

Um, but with Jen, it's like what she did is so

evil.

No, I start to feel bad for her,

especially when I would watch her episodes.

I do start to feel bad for her.

And then I think about what she did.

And I'm curious.

Right.

Like, it's so egregious.

And it's so evil.

And so, I'm so funny.

I'm seeing so much discourse.

I have stopped watching The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

And I'm seeing so much discourse online right now, like two things happening.

Like one, people like quaking over Jen's eventual sentencing and the trial and tomorrow.

And then also people talking about this current season of Salt Lake City.

Who gave Heather the black eye?

Jazz tickets.

So fucking stupid.

And I feel like I'm now even more resolute in my decision to not watch this season.

The fact that like these two things are going on at the same time and like the show isn't like really digging deep and talking about and showing the trial stuff.

And we're wasting so much time on Lisa sucking someone's dick for Utah jazz tickets.

Like it's so stupid.

And I just, I can't stress enough how like the women of Salt Lake City have not only disappointed me, but like so dropped the ball on what could have been a historic two years, two seasons.

Last year was the arrest and then this year was the trial.

What could have been like two of the most historic, like could have been studied in production textbooks, how they dropped the ball.

Yeah, I mean, in the same way they like went and found old members of Mary's church to talk about their donations.

Like, why don't you go find some of Jen's victims and talk about what happened?

Or this woman, this woman, 2019 restraining order.

Yeah, no, but like, let's hear about the experience of someone who fell for Jen's telemarketing scheme and how their life was ruined.

Yeah.

I just, I cannot believe that like these two things are going on at the same time.

It's such a disappointment.

Yeah.

I'm very curious what the sentence will be tomorrow.

Like it's gonna be big.

I know.

And then I'm just I'm like looking forward to comparing it to the Christley one.

Though I can't, I don't think the crimes are comparable.

I, in terms of,

I compare the Christleys to Teresa.

I compare Jen to Tom Girardi.

Yes, that's a good call.

I forgot about it.

She's in Tom.

Ripping off innocent people and taking advantage of that.

And vulnerable.

Yeah.

No, it'll be very interesting.

I mean,

it's kind of like the craziest thing that's ever happened in Housewives history.

Yeah.

And they're not even talking about it on the show.

Yeah.

Also, what I wanted to say is this woman put forth this like character statement about Jen so that they would know of her character.

um the judge has just watched season one real house of salt lake city like it's pretty clear like

what her character what her character is yeah she can think about jury union like it's she doesn't come off like the sweetest kindest lady no and i do often think about like how the show plays a role in the trial like when you're doing jury selection like are you allowed to select people who have seen the show because that gives them a preconceived notion even though with this federal case sorry i don't think there's a jury

did it go to trial no because she pled yeah sorry there's no jury but just like in things like this like yeah i think how does the show what if the judge has seen the show i think well if a judge was like seriously involved in some way like he would have recused himself i think with jury selection though it someone can have watched the show and like know who jen is but they have to be you know adamant in that they're but like they have a bias that their bias would not influence them and yeah it couldn't be like you or I who watch the show or a podcast and it is like you know what I mean but if someone who's a passive watcher they could maybe get onto the jury but also if she her behavior on the show was really terrible then the defense they wouldn't want that defense won't want her but like on teresa's trial maybe the defense would want someone who watched the show because i think a lot of people who watch the show have a lot of sympathy for her No, and a lot of people who watch the show have like a real understanding how like Teresa does not live in this world.

Like she does not know what goes on around her.

She's not the brightest.

Like there's no way she could be the mastermind of some big tax evasion scheme.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good point.

But with these, with these federal trials, like, they often don't have juries.

I don't know if it's because they plead guilty or because I don't think federal trials have juries.

But Amber and Johnny had a jury, right?

That wasn't a federal trial.

It wasn't?

Like, this, like, this, the U.S.

government, the like is coming for Jen Shah with Johnny and it was Amber and Johnny.

But are you always

entitled to a jury?

Like, yes, but like federal cases, like the FBI, like, it's different.

I'm almost 100% sure.

No, there's something different about federal.

There is something different.

Like, the lawyers listening to this

wanting to, like, kill us?

No, the lawyers are.

There are two types.

Okay, I just want to say the lawyers are always really patient with us.

And then they just, they don't sit, they don't like come in nasty in the comments.

They just explain in the comments.

There are two types of juries serving different functions in the federal trial courts.

A trial jury, also known as a petite jury, and a grand jury.

Okay, so there is a jury.

Yeah.

Jury is the kind of word you say so many times.

It starts to sound weird.

Jury.

Yeah, you are always entitled to a jury of your peers.

That's, you know, part of our Bill of Rights.

Okay, but so sometimes in a criminal case, it can be decided through a trial by judge instead of a jury, and that's known as a bench trial.

So it does exist.

And that's like Judge Judy.

Right.

There's no jury.

Because then it would be too much of an alliteration to have Judge Judy's jury.

I like,

you ever like have an idea that you know would solve the world's problems?

Yeah.

I feel like

the way that like being a juror isn't like a full-time job, like the way we have to do everyone do their civil service and people are so moronic and like unreliable.

I feel like the fact that like every courthouse in the country doesn't have like 50 jurors on staff.

First of all, I'm creating jobs.

You're welcome.

Second of all, you go through extensive like bias training.

like, kind of how, like, you know, like, almost like you work for the CIA, like, you have to go through like really, really rigorous training to make sure you're totally impartial.

And I just feel like there would be less error.

There would be less,

you know, people having to do jury duty.

And I don't know.

I just feel like it's like kind of a good call, like professional jurors for a living.

I hear you.

I respect you.

I completely disagree with you.

Okay.

I think that would open up a whole

industry, literally, of jury tampering.

All you had to do is get through the questioning and all of a sudden you're a professional juror who wants a freedom.

No, but it'd have to be really rigorous, like the CIA, like training, like a SEAL.

But

there's so many cases every single day.

Like, and also you're going to go through that training to be a jury member.

Why not go be a Navy SEAL?

Okay, well, it's not like physical training.

It's emotional and mental.

I don't know.

The more I think about it, like we're always always talking about how our judicial system is so flawed.

And I feel like it's because people on the jury,

everyday people are morons.

Every case is so different that no matter who you are, there will be a case that you are biased against because you have an experience with it in your personal life.

Okay, but your training would lead you to having to recuse yourself.

The training is so good.

It's all in the training, my idea.

It's all in the training.

It's a good fucking idea.

I disagree.

I don't think our current system is perfect, but I think it works.

And I think that people do need to play a part in their civic duty.

And I know jury duty's, you know, stinks and we all make jokes about it, but

it's a privilege and a right.

I don't agree, but it's okay for you to be wrong this one time.

Don't worry.

I got you.

Okay, go put together your for-profit jury duty.

Let me just say how, like, I, it's just my idea.

I'm giving it to the government.

I don't, I I don't know the proper training.

I've never been on a jury.

It's just an idea, and it's the right idea, and you guys can take it and then make it good.

Okay.

And I will be part of the contingency that's voting against this.

And then maybe if you're on trial for a crime, you can choose a jury of your peers or a jury of jurors

so that you could pay them off.

No.

It's a good idea the more I think about it.

Let me know thoughts in the comments.

Thoughts Thoughts in the comments.

Thank you guys so much for a fabulous episode, Jack's.

Always a pleasure.

Tomorrow's our final episode of the week, and then I'll head out to LA and we'll be back on West Coast time, starting on Monday.

So, thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast The Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts and or podcasts can be found so it's better by Juan's YouTube, public reading, why are we guessing books, all the places we've listened to podcasts by Nest, the Toastleaf Star Review about how wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an increase of Thursday.

And we'll see you tomorrow for Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Bye, y'all.

Love ya.

Bye.