Season of the Six: Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast.

Happy Tuesday that feels like a Monday because it is a new year, new season.

It's the season of the six.

That's right.

Season six of The Toast starts right fucking now.

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

Darn good.

So happy to be back.

I'm so tempted to say that this is the Mondayest Monday of all time, but it's a Tuesday, which is really throwing me through a loop.

The fact that the whole world decided that even though New Year's Day was on a Sunday, like, it's not enough for us.

No, Dianu, we need a whole ass another bank holiday on January 2nd, was really beautiful how we could come together in that way and agree.

Let's talk about the banks.

The banks who did this for us after taking and taking and taking from us, the banks finally gave back.

And you know what?

It needs to be spoken about.

I am grateful.

I am honored.

I'm feeling genuinely humbled.

Me and Ben could not get over yesterday how like we just had this day.

Everyone was probably returning from travel.

To have this reset before the new year is really, I can't thank the banks enough.

Yeah, I think it was really nice how they did that.

Plus, it makes the first week back a little easier.

It's a four-day work week.

Short Shortly, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous week.

And I'm just feeling, I'm really, really excited to be back on the toast.

I enjoyed my time off, but I was very much like in my house frow era.

And I'm just excited to be back to like being a working mom and doing the show, which I love and talking to my girly.

I haven't spoken to you literally all year.

I haven't spoken to you this year.

You know what?

I do think it's for the best.

Like, we have so much to catch up on on this episode.

And I also am feeling refreshed.

I'm tan.

Thank the Lord.

I

was talking about before we ended last year that I really was in need of like a break.

I was feeling like super burnt out.

I felt like doing the podcast, like I was scraping the bottom of the barrel to like be funny and interesting.

And now I've just like lived two weeks without sharing and I'm ready.

I'm going to spread my legs and share.

Yeah, your cup runneth over.

My cup runneth over of things to talk about.

First of all, I do think I finally decided on what my New Year's resolution is.

And this morning when I was like gearing up for how I was going to phrase it on the show, I realized I think I literally have had this resolution in one way or the other, like for the last four years.

If I went back and watched every January one episode, I think I would, it's some version of this because

I think a few years ago, my resolution was like to say no to life.

Like I felt like.

I was just always saying yes and like doing things that I didn't want to be doing.

So for the last couple of years, like I've been saying no to life.

And I've decided that this year I'm going to say yes to life.

Like I'm going to say, like I'm always being invited places and like I never go.

I'm so fucking lazy.

I'm going to say yes to life this year.

Wow.

Okay.

What?

Like there's just a reason why you were saying no.

And I think it's because before that you were saying yes.

So I think for you, like you, you can't find a balance.

No.

And it's always going to be like, I'm either saying all yes or all no, but why couldn't you just be like

more yeses, but not all yeses?

Because that's how you burn out.

Then you'll wind up doing stuff that you don't want to do.

Okay, your negative toxic energy for my positive resolution, like fuck.

I just think you're putting, I think you're just like putting too much pressure on yourself.

No, I'm, I need to say yes to life.

Like I'm getting, I only have so many years left in my 20s.

Like, and I don't even want to talk about how I really only have like a year and a half left.

I am going to say yes to life.

Like I'm going to LA this week and I'm going to the 49ers game.

Like I'm saying yes to life, bitch.

I feel like I

have so many like wonderful opportunities presented to me, and I'm always just like, No, I'll stay home.

And I love staying home, but I felt like I've stayed at home, stayed home a lot, especially with COVID.

Like, this is my year, it's my year, and I won't let your toxicity penetrate my year.

I will not okay.

I'm just trying to tell you, like, I think that you were like fine before.

I think that when something is worth going to, you always go.

You really do.

I think you're just being like a little self-critical when you're doing great, sweetie.

And you're, you're, do, you always do like the big cool stuff, but you say no to like, you know, the dumb shit, shit, which

I think is okay, but fine.

I'm supporting you.

I just feel like I got comfortable saying no, like a little too comfortable, you know?

I get that.

I get that.

So I'm going to say yes to life.

Did you come up with a resolution?

I didn't because I finally, on the second to last day of the year, completed my 15-year resolution of getting my driver's license.

That has literally been my New Year's resolution every single year.

Huge.

And I'm feeling accomplished.

And I'm going to enjoy this moment and my accomplishment.

And then I'm going to regroup and think about, okay, what's next for me?

Like, what, but like, I have recently learned to do a lot of things that I never really thought I was going to be doing, like driving, like cooking.

And now I need to kind of set new goals.

But I think that makes sense.

Like, I'm 30, like my life is changing.

Maybe it's like

gardening.

I don't fucking know.

I would, I think gardening is so you.

and i agree with you like it's important to acknowledge the moment that you're in because all we have is this moment and really you know what they say about tomorrow tomorrow's unspoken

yesterday

that song and that album i feel like people don't talk about prism enough katy perry's like i think it was katy perry's like really

like it was she's had beautiful songs before yada yada but that was her first like true work of art that like the whole album was a masterpiece i fucking love that album well i disagree with that because like i think teenage dream was a masterpiece too yeah the problem with prison it prison prism

is that the songs that she chose for the singles were the worst songs on the album you can't think that's very taylor swift of her no and no no no and so no no no i'm obsessed with prism it's literally one of my favorite albums of all time and like some of my favorite songs of all time are from that album but i'm telling you why it didn't get like more play from the lay people is because they heard, you know, like, what was that song about a birthday or like international?

It's like your birthday every day.

I love that song.

Like the songs that she chose for the singles were so corny that people just assumed the album was corny.

But they were missing like the beautiful, by the grace of God.

Excuse me.

Chilling.

Excuse me.

I actually kind of like fun fact about me was I saw the Prism World Tour at Madison Square Garden and it was, it was so insane.

Like it was that Katy Perry level of like crazy outfits, confetti, lights, but with this art, it was really beautiful.

I'm so happy that you said yes to that.

And it actually was my birthday when

you made it like your birthday every day?

And when she sang that song, she like found someone in the audience whose birthday it was, but my seats were like so far back, she was never going to see me.

I was like screaming.

I'm like, it's my birthday, Katie.

She didn't care.

I'm sorry, but just make sure to make it like your birthday every day.

That's also a good New Year's resolution.

Yes.

Except that you'll be insufferable.

Insufferable by the end of the year.

But no, honestly, by like February.

I don't want to hang out with anyone who's making it like their birthday every day.

100%.

So we caught up on a lot over the Patreon.

So if you're here looking for, you know, Yellowstone recaps, Emily and Paris recaps, Real Housewives in Miami recaps, the Kardashian Christmas party, like there wasn't that much that happened, thankfully, while we were off in terms of pop culture.

But Jackie and I read and watched a lot and we recapped it all on the pop culture catch-up, which was our fourth episode for December.

I think if you were a Patreon member this month, you're feeling really grateful because the Patreon really came in.

We had, I think, three or four episodes release while the toast was off.

Jackie's entire journey to getting her license.

That vlog is up.

People are kind of like, you know, there's like whispers, there's Oscar buzz for the editing.

I actually, I like, I got choked up at the end.

Jackie did this really beautiful edit about just kind of the progress you've made from being driven around by me, by Ben, to finally being in the driver's seat.

It was really beautiful.

Yeah, I did a little montage at the end of the vlog.

And I am hearing some of that buzz too.

It's like this ringing in my ear.

It's like for the short film category at the Oscars.

Like no big and obviously I don't do it for the accolades.

Of course not.

I just, I, the art honestly, like it came over me, you know, I couldn't stop making that art.

You know, I do want to share a fun fact about me.

Like I do it for the accolades and I want to, let's normalize doing it for the accolades people.

Okay, but if that's true.

If that's true that you do it for the accolades, then like you must be really depressed.

Like unfulfilled.

Depressed.

because we don't get any accolades no but accolades like i don't need to be nominated for like an iHeart Radio Podcast Award like just the accolades from the fans like I just I would be remiss if I didn't start the year out on an honest note like I am doing this actively for the accolades like keep telling me you love me keep subscribing keep all that energy if somebody wants to nominate me for an iHeartRadio podcast award even though our podcast is not produced by iHeartRadio therefore we don't ever win

it's okay

I'm I'm doing it actively for the accolades.

I just, I wanted everyone to know that.

Okay, so give her as many accolades as you can think of if you work at the Shorties, the Webby's, People's Choice.

She loves an accolade.

I feel like I really fucked up with the Shorties.

You did.

You know what?

Can you add that to my life's biggest regret?

That is a story that.

That's an instance where you should have said yes.

And that's a story where I physically, my body physically kind of caves and cringes when I think about the time that I was nominated for a shorty award.

RSVP'd yes to the ceremony that was being live streamed.

Shea Mitchell came out and announced the award and I actually won and my ass, I was literally taking a nap.

Okay?

I know.

And then like people were tweeting me like this clip.

Shea Mitchell was like, girl with no job, Claudia Ostre.

And silence.

Silence.

Because I was, I think A, I had forgotten the event was that day.

B, like, I was like, I'm not going to win.

And C, I was like, they're definitely not going to announce my category on the stream.

It'll be like one of the losers that gets announced like during the pre-show.

So never in my wildest dream said, I think it would be such

an official affair.

It was like a, it was a full-blown awards ceremony.

Like I would have gotten up and made a speech.

Do you think that because of that, like our awards karma has been off?

100%.

100%.

I'm so sorry.

I took you down with me.

No, that's okay.

As stated, I don't do it for the accolades.

Well, I do.

Right.

So it's really just your cross to bear.

Let's also talk about how this is the first episode of our sixth season of The Toast, which is so crazy.

Your girls have been podcasting together since 2017, season six.

Every time we advance into a new season, I feel so, like, we're so legit, you know?

Yeah, it's nice to get those numbers up because on the one hand, like with

the internet in general, I feel like, you know, the more years you've been doing it, the more irrelevant you are.

So true.

But with podcasting, it's really not like that.

I feel like the more years you've been doing it and the more you're relevant, it's more of an accomplishment.

I completely agree.

So it's pretty cool.

And six is a nice number.

Six.

Six.

Six.

It is a good number.

And it's a good day and it's a good year.

It's going to be a great year.

I hope everyone gets everything that they want for themselves this year, whether that's inner peace, a promotion, a baby, whatever it is.

I hope everyone gets what they want.

Invitations to things in which they will say yes.

So yes, I think part of me making my resolution, saying yes to life, is also a manifestation and a putting out into the world to have things to say yes to.

But I do think the more that you go to, the more you get invited to, because they're like, oh, there's Claudia.

She's, oh, she's down.

Not like, let's not bother inviting her.

She won't come.

And I think part of

like a real impetus and motivation behind this resolution is to go out and have my photograph taken to replace some of the absolutely abysmal photos that exist of me online, whether it's Google or Getty.

Like there are just too many ugly pictures of me.

And I feel like I'm kind of like hitting like a physical peak right now.

And I need these photos to exist in perpetuity so that when I get fat and ugly again, I will have these to look at.

Now that's something I can get behind.

I know you can.

And I can understand.

I also think a good New Year's resolution for both of us this year is to try and limit our negative self-talk.

Like, oh,

I agree.

I can't, because I can't hear it when I talk about myself.

Cause like, yeah, like I'm a big, ugly loser.

But like when, when you say stuff about yourself, I'm like, stop.

Like, that's literally Harry's mom.

Like, no one, somebody has something to say to Harry's fucking mom, I'll choke them.

You know what I mean?

I know.

I know what you mean too.

And I know that's how we like talk.

And I'm just like, oh, I'm a big fat lover.

And it's also just our brand of humor.

Like, we're big.

It is, but then sometimes I'll like hear it.

And I'm like, it makes me sad.

I'm like, you shouldn't talk about yourself that way.

I know.

I wouldn't, honestly, i i probably wouldn't talk about someone else that way no my god not even someone i hate i mean some yeah maybe big fat lizard think about like i when i see it through the lens of like you being harry's mom and then like you call yourself ugly it's literally impossible physically genetically impossible for you to be ugly because you gave birth to harry do you know what i mean i do like you honestly are nothing short of perfection because you gave birth to Harry.

It's proof.

Positive talk.

I know.

Like, don't catch me next week.

Like, I will be back to my negative self, but like, let's just pretend for a week that like things are going to change.

It's good to lead with your best foot forward.

And I think I could say the same to you as Harry's ante.

100%.

Someone's going to talk trash about Harry's ante?

Right.

Right.

Not on my watch.

Not on my fucking watch.

So I think that's a good resolution as well.

Claudia, that's beautiful.

Thanks.

I'm feeling very positive.

I went on vacation and it was a vacation that felt like a real vacation, you know?

I I think when I go on trips, I'm so used to doing like long weekends and cramming everything into, you know, three or four days and like getting drunk.

I really was, I can't remember the last time I took a beach vacation for a week.

Like there was so much time.

I relaxed, I stayed in, I went out, I swam, I read, like it was a true relaxing vacation.

Um,

and I really needed that.

I'm so happy for you.

Everyone wants to hear all about your trip.

I went to Belize,

which I believe I stated previously was in South America, and I just want to tell everyone that it's not.

It's right underneath Mexico.

And I was surprised to find that while the language, native language is Creole, pretty much everyone speaks Spanish.

So, you know, me, me like bilingual, El Gato and La Biblioteca.

I was feeling really, I was feeling like Claudia, you know?

I do know.

So is that North America or Central America?

Such important questions you ask.

I feel like it could be one of those places that's like on the border, just like kind of how Israel is like Asia and Africa.

It's in Asia, Africa, and Europe.

So I believe it is Central America.

Okay.

I'll just Google it.

But I went to San Pedro.

So we flew into Belize City Airport.

Then we took like a tiny plane to San Pedro, which is one of the islands with lots of hotels.

It was really beautiful.

But by the way, it's also like in the Caribbean.

I don't know.

It's it's so funny.

It just said North Central America.

Okay, so it was intentionally confusing.

Yeah.

So I think it's like in between.

Yeah.

I think you could say north.

It was great.

Yeah, it was great.

I got to spend so much time with counselor, which is

really counselor.

The counselor is so cool.

Like, I know.

It was, it was really an honor to be by her side for a week, like, for real.

Do you think that you guys got closer?

Definitely.

I asked her the same question.

She said, yeah.

She said the bond was strengthened.

The bond was definitely strengthened.

Like, I feel so good entering 2023, like, when it comes to the counts.

Ugh, I'm so jealous.

I know.

I'll have to get the counts now that I'm, like, so close with her.

I'll have to get her down to Florida.

And you have to get her to, like, be nice to me.

Like, if you can influence her.

No, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like friends with the popular girls now.

And like, you're the geek.

And, like, I'll get the popular girl to like you.

You're so good to me like that.

I'm so generous.

You really are.

Yeah.

No, she said the bond was strengthened.

I was asking her how like her bonds were strengthening or weakening with anyone on the trip.

And what did she say?

She said, I actually think her bond with Ben was definitely weakened.

They were like, she's so

what?

She said it was neither strengthened nor weakened.

No, like they're Ben, Ben actually referred to Margo, like we were just having a conversation.

He referred to Margo as his sister.

And I'm like, wait, Maddie's not here.

Like, I forget that they're technically like, you know, brother and sister-in-law, but they were acting like such brother-sister, like mocking each other.

Like, like they both were reverting to actual 11 year olds and it was it was actually funny that's funny snitch really beefs with the brother-in-laws like she has the same relationship with zach where they're always at each other's throats and i'm just like

you guys you guys no and like i'm over here being like the peacemaker right that's so you So me.

She said her bond with Emily strengthened, even though she didn't know if that was possible.

But that's good.

Mostly means like there was no cabin fever, which is good.

No, which is good.

Yeah, no.

Yesterday, when it was like our day to reset, I slept till noon.

I call Margo.

She's out to lunch.

I'm like, oh, who are you with?

She's like, Emily.

I'm like, you could see someone for lunch that you just spent a week with.

I could never.

I could never.

Unless the bond is strengthened.

Sometimes you spend so much time with someone and you're like, I can't, I need to spend more time together.

Like,

we're so close.

I wish she ever felt that way about us, but we'll get there.

Let's just, I have, I have my foot in the door.

Oh, wow.

You have the connection?

I got the hookup.

Sick.

Oh, my God.

And we haven't been able to really even like recap how our most recent episode before the year ended, we had on like a lifelong guest of ours, a dream, Olivia Culpo.

And just such a great way to end the year.

Such a great way to end the year.

I finished watching the show, The Culpos.

You guys, it's so good.

It's my new comfort show.

Claude, you've got to watch all the episodes.

I know.

I know.

And it's so real.

Like, I feel like I really know like what's going on in their lives and how they feel about stuff.

Yeah, for sure.

Like, the sister beef.

Like, they really weren't holding anything back.

They like gave it all to this first season of the show and it's so good.

Love that.

Love that.

Love that.

And now Liv is like in the Niners gang.

Oh, yeah.

So I've become like a really big 49ers fan over the break.

That's what I was doing.

I don't know if you know, they're like on a streak.

They are, they've won nine games and that's like the first time since the 70s that's happened to the 49ers.

I'm actually going to the game this Sunday in San Francisco because I'm already going to be out on the West Coast because I'm saying yes to life.

And hopefully they're going to get their 10th and I can see all my friends, like Kristen and Kyle and Olivia and Christian, just like the crew.

Kristen, Kyle, Claudia Christian, Olivia.

Brock on Claude.

You know, that's what they say, right?

No, what does that mean?

Because their new quarterback, I think he was like a sub for the big one, Jimmy Garoppolo.

It might be funding somebody.

That's another thing.

That's another thing.

It's like all the really fucking hot guys are on the 49ers.

No, and they're all like wifed up and they love their wives.

No, I, tell me me what's hotter.

Tell me what's hotter than like a hot guy who loves his wife.

Nothing.

Like the Kittles.

Have you stocked the Kittles yet?

I'm not familiar.

You're in for a treat.

Kisses his wife before every game.

Obsessed with his wife.

Like you're obsessed with your wife.

I'm obsessed with you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just good energy.

And all the wags get like so dialed up in like...

in reworked niners, like jerseys, but they're like high fashion.

And I don't really study like all of the wags of every team, but I feel like they have a culture there where it's like, we're the wags, and we're getting so fucking glam for our men.

And like, we are obsessed with football and the Niners.

No, like, you're going to catch me being a wag this Sunday.

And like, I feel like we actually have a lot of wags who listen to the toast.

Like, if any 49ers wags are listening, like, I'll be at the game.

Like, come find me, maybe bring me like a bedazzled jersey and like a cocktail.

You have to wear red, Claude.

They all wear red for the Niners.

Of course.

I actually have like a juice check jersey that was like given to me by Kyle and it is signed and I'll probably wear that.

That's cool.

Yeah.

And like maybe like with like tights and like I'll look like a whore, you know?

Also another resolution.

Like I'm ready to start dressing like a whore.

Like I only have so many whore years left.

And I'm going to do it.

I love that for you.

Like I'm going to start showing tits.

Like I showed my arms on New Year's Eve and I haven't shown my arms in public

since the CMA awards and I only showed one arm then.

And then before that, it was five years.

So now that I've like, I'm slowly like dipping my foot in the pond and like getting comfortable, like I'm going to start showing leg, chest, neck.

Not today.

I'm wearing literally a turtleneck.

Yeah.

And we're also matching today.

We didn't even plan it.

Oh, we look so cute.

Look at us.

We're being so sporty.

We also have a big story today.

football related because everyone is talking about DeMar Hamlin.

So we're going to talk about that.

We're also going to catch up a little bit on some stories we weren't able to recap.

There wasn't a lot that happened over the break.

Thank you.

That's a relief.

Like, there's really not a ton that happened over the break that, like, we have to do this whole sweeping catch-up, except with each other.

You know, I know.

I feel like I don't know anything about you anymore.

Um, well, here's what you need to know: I'm saying yes to life.

Okay,

I'm stopping the negative self-talk.

Okay,

and I'm dressing like a whore.

I literally love that for you.

It's going to be be exciting.

So exciting.

I, if you want to know about me, I have my driver's license.

Oh, huge.

I'm a driver now.

Harry claps now.

You're kidding me.

No.

And you know what?

We watched Miss Rachel for the first time.

Oh, I have an update for Miss Rachel after your story.

We watched Miss Machel for the first time like three days ago.

And then yesterday, he started like clapping, but I've never like done clapping with him.

It never like occurred to me.

And like straight up, he got it from Miss Rachel from that one day.

Thanks, Miss.

Okay, I have an update on Miss Rach because, like, you guys know, earlier, like maybe three, four months ago, we

went viral on TikTok for talking about Miss Rach.

We were joking and like people did not think it was funny.

And then we became like Miss Rach haters, which we're fucking not.

People were just like putting their negative, you know, thoughts on us.

And I didn't even realize, but I was scrolling TikTok on the beach.

I didn't realize that when that video went viral, Miss Rachel commented on it and followed me.

She thought it was funny.

She did like crying emoji.

Like, Miss Rach has a fucking sense of humor, okay?

Wow.

Huge.

Miss Rach is a toaster.

I wonder what, like, Miss Rach gets up to in her personal time.

You know, because you know what I

like about Miss Rach?

What?

How much money she makes, like, for real.

Like, that's what keeps me up at night.

Of course, of course.

To have a channel with hundreds of millions of views.

Yes, but like, I feel like you can conceive, like, if you thought of like other YouTubers who have big channels, I'm sure she's raking it in.

What I really want to know is like why she doesn't have a show on nickelodeon yet like why hasn't someone scooped her up i'm sure i imagine they tried to but like maybe she's stuck to her guns i don't know i think she's i think she's scrupled i don't think she wants to sell out to the man i think she loves what she does i think she makes a really good living from it i don't know if like fame and excess wealth i feel like she's kind of like a granola-y like socialist that's like the vibe i get you know yeah i get a granola vibe too it's definitely the overalls um it's the overalls yeah no for sure but i feel like

yes she doesn't want to sell out to the man but i imagine when she makes these videos like it takes her so long because it's like all this green screen like you know it's like it would be like if we tried to make a video like on iMovie no 100% and so I wonder why she doesn't just like you know outsource some of that work so that would be easier for her she could focus on the content like focus on the kids

I think she loves the work like I think she loves it she loves the process and she's always now I follow her back on TikTok she's always like stitching and duetting people, sharing their videos of the impact of Miss Rach.

And it brings her so much joy to see like kids saying, mama, who were like delayed in their speech.

I think she loves what she does.

And how lucky is she?

Yeah.

It's the best.

It's the best.

So shout out to Miss Rach.

Sick it to the man.

I heard she had stickotidomanniosis.

I heard that too.

And you know what I heard is the best, best cure for stickotidomaniosis?

What?

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Thank you so much for that.

So, I just tried to copy you and put my headphones like over my hair, like how you do, because I always put my hair behind my ears.

But I feel like like Sidney White, when Amanda Bynes was in that movie, and she's like covered in hair.

Let's talk about Amanda Bynes' hair in the movie.

Let's talk about the wig.

What the fuck was that?

And why couldn't she be without without those pieces in the front?

It's so amazing to me how, like, film and TV, like, they have access to the world's best special effects hair makeup.

And there's so many movies I can think of where, like, a character is wearing a wig and she literally looks like, you know, she's wearing like a shadel and she lives in Brooklyn.

Like, I literally cannot watch, I forget which Twilight movie it is when that Kristen Stewart is wearing the craziest fucking wig.

That's like not, I see girls on TikTok who lay down like lace front wigs 40 times better than how they did for Kristen Stewart in that film like what the fuck?

Yeah, I don't know, but I just feel like I feel like it feels weird to have the headphones over my hair.

You like that?

So when we switched to our remote setup, which let's keep in mind was entirely your fault for moving and leaving me, I had to make do.

Like my hair, and I feel like some people might, my hair is my

protector.

Like my hair is my security.

Like I, you can never catch me with my hair behind my ears.

Like my hair is always going to be in front of my face.

Except when you wear your 1989 sweatshirt.

Except when I wear my 1989 sweatshirt, I will throw my hair on a claw clip.

But like for, for the most part, like you will not catch me without my hair like full.

And so the fact that we switched to remote, like that's not going to change my protective hair.

So I had to make do.

And yes, I put my headphones on top of my hair because you moved to Florida.

That's really why.

Okay.

No, but you look good.

I always have my hair behind my ears.

How does it look?

What do you think?

It looks cute, but like, why do you put more hair in front?

Okay.

It looks cute, but it just feels weird.

I feel like that looks cute.

Well, so for me, like if my hair is not looking like haggard and it's not all over the front of my face, then I don't want it.

You actually look gorgeous right now.

You should leave it.

But it's giving Sydney white, right?

Like cover.

Or just those pieces.

Well, you know, the kids on TikTok call those two pieces that you leave in the front of your head.

They call them slut strands.

So I guess you'll be wearing those this year.

When I show tits, arms, legs, and ass, yeah.

In your horror era.

In my horror era, for sure.

And why do they call them slut strands?

The thing about me is I don't ask questions.

I just follow the trends.

And that's why I'm a follower and a loser.

Negative self-talk.

We need a button, negative self-talk, like the staples button.

We need a button.

We need a lot of buttons.

Do you think they make a negative self-talk button instead that they sell on Amazon?

I think they make a button that you can write on top of.

That says

a customizable button, work survey.

Yeah, I'm sure you could get one on Etsy.

Another resolution, like gotta shop more on Etsy.

Like every time like I see something cool like on TikTok, people are like, it's from this Etsy shop.

Like I need to go on Etsy.

Yeah, I agree with that.

like sometimes it never occurs to me to like look for what I want on Etsy like I was looking for um

those

the hardware for Harry's dresser and I just got like some crap on Amazon but then I saw a friend of mine she had posted like she did cust she got like new hardware for her baby's dresser and she got them on Etsy and they were like little animals ornate oh that's fucking cute like Amazon could never Amazon could never.

And I feel like in order to offset like how much money I spend on Amazon, I also need to be supporting like local shops that sell on Etsy.

Agreed.

That's a good resolution.

Shop local.

I can't live like this with my hair.

One second.

Well, while Jackie's doing that, I'll just tell you guys how beautiful Sunny and Sparkle.

What'd you say about it?

No, just talking about myself.

Oh, okay.

Great.

One thing about me is like, you never have to worry about me talking about someone else because I'm always talking about myself.

It's true.

It's so reassuring to be your friend.

Yeah.

If you're my like close personal friend and you're listening, like just know, like, actually, this is such a lie.

Let me be honest.

If you're my close close personal friend like you should know like i definitely talk shit about you but it doesn't change like how i feel about you like i love you but like we're all human beings and some of the shit you do is annoying and i'm not gonna tell you so i'm just gonna tell someone else i don't think you really talk that much about your close personal friends unless they did something like weird and out of character you know i guess yeah but if their character was weird they wouldn't be your close personal friend

so true

so true um well i feel like we should dive in what do you think yeah i think so along the way we continue to catch up share what's new with each other.

Was there anything else we didn't catch up on?

I don't think so.

Just, you know, it's a new year, new us.

That's so true.

And season six.

That's really what you have to know.

That's what you have to know.

It's the season of the six and I.

Oh, are you Snitch now?

You've been hanging out with Snitch?

Every time, like, I've been posting on social media, like, season six, the toast, I cannot stop saying stick season.

Because that's Mario's favorite song.

It's such a good song.

Yeah, I was listening to it while I was driving.

Yeah, because I drive now.

You know, you're going to be, you know, those like kids in high school who like got their license because they like were born in January or whatever.

So they get it before everyone else and they got like keys and they just like walk around like with their keys.

Like, oh, like, I was driving today, and then, does anybody need to drive them anywhere?

Like, I saw the TikTok.

It was sent to me.

That's you.

The girl with like the extension raised

of her hair.

Yeah.

And the white lipstick Burts Bees and the keys.

I mean, I'm never going to stop jingling my keys.

Like, who could?

Who could?

I do have to get a car, though.

That's next.

That's, well, you better do that.

Wait for me because I want to come.

Oh, really?

Why don't you come on down?

You know what I was thinking?

Yeah.

And I'm sure this is a business that exists.

So if you know about it, let me know.

But I feel like when buying a car, you need like a realtor.

for cars like someone like I could tell them what I'm looking for they have knowledge and expertise because I know like what I need in a car

those exist what's it called called a husband

no but he doesn't know like every car that's out there every make and model like for sure there needs to be like some sort of broker who like helps you shop yes but then it's just like more red tape more you have to pay them a fee like it's true it's true but like I need an expert and then I say like I want this this this and this and they say well these cars would be best for that Well, you know what?

I feel like people on social media like have become like the car mom.

If you're a mom like looking for different cars, she'll help you find one in different price ranges.

I feel like there's lots of different people on social media that will tell you, like, if you're looking for a sports car, yes, but I will say that, like, and I love the car mom, and I've watched all of her videos, but she makes every car look amazing.

So, I'm like, so which one do I get?

Right.

I actually spoke to her and she endorsed the car that we did, guys.

She thought it was a great choice.

Fabulous.

You love to get approval.

The car mom stamp of approval.

Exactly.

So,

without

further ado, do to do, oh my God, I have to tell you about Bruno Doo because last night something so we had a scare.

He, Shapiro, we were at the Shapiro's, they were grilling.

Shapiro walks in with like this plate of grilled chicken that like smells so good.

Bruno got so excited.

He jumped off the couch and he landed badly.

He landed and he like cried out.

Oh my God, oh my God.

And oh my God, we were freaking.

And then he started walking with a limp like right after.

And he was like crying a little and couldn't walk.

And I was like, oh my God, like he, he might have twisted his ankle, whatever.

Like, I'm going to have to take him to the vet today.

But then within the next like few minutes, he started walking properly.

Again, he just needed to walk it off.

But wow, it was scary stuff.

Theo spent the entire week we were in Belize with Ben's parents, Theo's favorite people on the planet, and they went to a New Year's Eve party at their friend's house.

And they brought Theo because the friends had a dog.

And they were like, yeah, of course, bring Theo.

And Theo like laid on the couch with everyone while they were doing 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

It was so cute.

Then I found out later, Theo jumped on the table and got three shrimp cocktails.

Nice.

Yeah, Theo broke his cushroot.

I'm always proud of the boys when they get something good, you know, as long as it's not something that they can eat.

Like, I'm happy.

You write like chocolate or grapes, yeah.

Yeah, an onion, right?

Yeah, I don't know if onion's like majorly toxic.

Like, chocolate is like one lick and you're dead.

No, that's not true.

Real chocolate.

Okay, who eats real chocolate?

No, yeah.

Thank God I never have like cacao lying around.

I just have like shit Hershey's that doesn't even have real chocolate.

You have to eat so much Hershey's.

I mean, not so much, but like, you know, I, uh, Bruno recently had like two Halloween-sized Hershey bars because I left them out.

Yeah, he's crazy, and he was fine.

He's fucking crazy.

It doesn't mean you should do it, but you do have a little bit of buffer.

I'm so glad Bruno's okay.

It was just a scare.

Especially, it was just a scare, especially if it's milk chocolate.

That's why I don't eat dark chocolate.

Even though I love it.

Yeah, no, I love cacao that has like no sugar and no taste but i just can't for theo for theo i don't keep it in the house i couldn't dane

wouldn't deign

anyways bruno's doing well thank you everyone i just wanted to share that because it was jarring he was with a leaf it was too much pathetic yeah

so now without further a did it did it do

Here are the fast size stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your toast.

Sorry, I guess.

No, how's this?

Here are the fast size stories that you need to know before you wake up and say yes to life.

That's gorgeous.

I wasn't paying attention till the end and I was like, of course.

Did I fuck on my memory?

Yeah.

It's my soul memory.

We're such muscular girls.

We're so muscular.

We're swole as fuck.

I mean, I went to the gym.

You did.

And if you want to hear about it, listen to the Patreon episode because Claudia kind of needed to be, even even though, like, no self-talk, Claudia needed to be roasted for going to the gym after a lifetime of roasting people who go to the gym on vacation.

No, that's definitely true.

And we talked through it.

We talked through it.

Like, I was obviously going through something.

Don't worry, I'm back.

Like, I'm not going to the gym again.

It was obviously just like a low point in my life.

Thanks for checking in.

As stated, though, there's a difference between going to the gym and going to the gym on vacation.

100%.

Even people who go to the gym regularly don't do it on vacation.

100%.

But you were hanging out with the toxic snatchula.

It's so true.

She's so fucking toxic.

Yeah.

I guess it's time to get into the stories.

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Okay, our first story is the big story of the day, and it's such sad, distressing news.

Buffalo Bills have confirmed that DeMar Hamlin Hamlin suffered a cardiac arrest playing the Cincinnati Bengals last night.

The Buffalo Bills safety DeMar Hamlin went into cardiac arrest during the Monday night football game against the Bengals, the team officially confirmed via social media.

He still remains in critical condition.

They said DeMar Hamlin suffered a cardiac arrest following a hit in our game versus the Bengals.

His heartbeat was restored on the field and he was transferred to the UC Medical Center for further testing and treatment.

He is currently sedated and listed in critical condition.

This was so crazy because if you were watching the game, like the series of events, it was all televised.

Yeah.

He was tackled like really hard.

He stood up and then collapsed.

Like it was so scary to see.

And his friends and family are like asking people not to share the video because it's obviously like really distressing.

And I just feel like this is,

you know, it took the NFL like an hour to call the game.

The game didn't resume.

It was an important game, whatever, playoffs, who cares.

It took them an hour to make that decision.

And I just feel like, and I see Kelly Stafford talk about this a lot.

She has a podcast and her husband plays in the NFL.

It's like, she doesn't say this.

These are my words, but it's like the NFL's like real lack of

care when it comes to the safety of their players.

Like, you know, CTE and all that stuff.

And they're not playing on real grass.

And it's harder when they hit their head.

And

there's, you you know, the wives and just like the players are like always, you know, campaigning for like changes to be made.

And I feel like the NFL is so stubborn and like this should be a wake-up call for everyone.

It's so sad.

And I'm so glad he's,

he was in critical condition.

And I think a lot of people thought like

that he literally died on the field.

So I'm glad he's, I think he's getting better.

So he's in, he's in critical condition still.

They were able to revive his heartbeat on the field, but he is in the hospital in critical condition.

So it's not clear what's going to happen from here.

It's so sad.

And like the NFL's priorities are so fucked.

Like it's an important priority game.

Who fucking cares?

Who fucking cares?

I mean,

like so often do players get hurt on the field and it's just like protocol.

You are for the course

and you continue on with the game, which I always think is so weird.

Anyway, but this was, I think, something unlike people have ever seen.

And what's crazy is like for something like this to happen is so jarring to be there.

But like

millions of people were just home watching Monday Night Football and like saw this out of nowhere.

And I think it was really, really jarring.

Zach was watching and he came in and he was like explaining to me what was going on.

And I was like, oh my God.

And yeah, I hear you that like the concept that like people get injured and like we just go on with the game is like weird.

But I think like certain injuries like, you know, a sprained ankle or you twist your knee, like things like that are expected when you're a professional athlete.

But like something is serious.

What is it?

Cardiac arrest?

Like

that's where, like, you just stop the game, like, you just stop the game.

Like, it's so serious.

But I think it's, I think it was, it's like they don't,

it's hard for them to make that call considering like they are always, you know, injuries and they go on.

And so, uh, obviously, this is a much more serious injury than what's typical.

Because, like, in a typical injury, you know, the an ambulance doesn't drive onto the field and there's no CPR.

Like, this was obviously very different.

Yes.

Yeah.

And I just,

I mean, everybody is just football fans and not like the whole country is just like on pause, just like waiting to hear how he's doing.

I mean, he has a charity toy drive that he had been promoting recently.

And like, it's had millions of donations since this happened.

And I think people are just like really rallying around him, like praying for him.

All of the wags that I do follow are just like, this is every football family's nightmare.

And we're all just hoping for a good outcome right and the fact that it's every football family's nightmare like is a problem yeah

but from what i saw like and from i think what uh the sportscasters were saying like it's a clean tackle you know yeah right no the the person who did it i'm sure oh my god he's having the worst day of his life he didn't technically do anything wrong i see like that all the time i saw that ben was showing me the thing and i'm like oh it looks like a tackle it wasn't like a crazy illegal or

so i don't know he maybe Maybe he landed weird.

I don't know.

Right.

Or something was going on with him.

But I think that the tackle itself was not anything bigger or

stronger than Doug's typical.

No, but I think the typical tackle, like, is, it's flawed.

Like, you shouldn't be able.

No human being can withstand that multiple times in an hour.

I know.

But that's like flawed.

That's literally the game.

No, I know.

So you're saying cancel the game.

I'm not saying cancel the game.

I'm saying like, I don't know.

I just feel like they could be doing more.

Like CTE is like a real problem.

Yes.

Yeah.

For people who play football long term, like concussions and

like just there's problems.

Yeah, there's problems.

I have no answers.

I'm just pointing out problems.

Yeah, and I think it highlights like that as a separate issue.

Right.

Though that's not what this is.

It's about.

No, because it wasn't head trauma.

It was cardiac arrest.

Chest.

Yeah.

So I don't really know what happened, but I'm really like, I hope he's okay.

It's so, so sad.

yeah so sad

okay switching gears to a little recap news from while we were off kim kardashian is hitting the podcast circuit she spoke with angie martinez and went on the irl podcast she also went on gwyneth paltrow's goop podcast

um but i think the big one and the first one was her going on angie martinez's podcast and she talks about you know a lot of the stuff that's going on with her kanye i didn't listen to goop i didn't think lenciaga Yeah, I didn't listen to the Goop one because I think the Angie Martinez one was like the one where she addresses everything and the goop one was more about like motherhood and business and great.

I'll listen to it another time.

So I thought it was really interesting, first of all, that she went on a podcast.

Like I'm not, I haven't heard of Angie Martinez's podcast.

It seemed like

it wasn't going to be like a Diane Sawyer hard-hitting.

It was very much like a comfortable spot for her to answer some of the things that she's been wanting to speak on.

Releasing it, you you know christmas new year's time is a great time to bury something um i think she got to a point where she like had to address a lot of what's going on for me there were there were two things that she spoke on the first was the kanye stuff and

i

didn't need to hear from kim when it comes to the kanye stuff like i don't believe in holding kim responsible or hearing you know her condemn and i think her explanation on that while i didn't need to hear it i totally understood and i think as children of divorce, I think we could even appreciate it even more.

And when she got all choked up, she basically said, like, I had the greatest dad in the world.

Like, my mom never spoke ill of him after divorce.

And I'm sure she could have.

Divorce is hard.

And I want that so badly for my kids.

And I think when they grow up and look back on this time, they will be very grateful to me for not, it's so easy.

She could join in with everyone and drag him.

And she didn't.

And I have to say, I have a lot of respect for that.

I don't believe in blaming other people for what someone else did.

Like this whole culture we live in where you have to like condemn, I don't believe in that.

So I agree.

I could like, when I think of like Kim and her current controversies, honestly, Kanye doesn't come to mind.

100%.

I don't care.

Like, it's not on Kim to speak for or on her deeply unwell, mentally ill husband.

There's nothing that she could say, even if she went so hard against him, that's going to change what he's doing and like change the impact that he's having.

Like I look and

and nobody needs that from her especially like if you're asking like no we don't need right we don't care so while i imagine that's been difficult and i empathize i fully respect her answer and i think that harkens also back to just like who kim is as a person like a core tenant of who she is is family and loyalty and like i get it i get it and i didn't need to hear on it the thing that i found really interesting were was her take on balenciaga and When I first saw the Kanye stuff, I'm like, okay, she's like on a roll, you know, ethical queen, whatever, screwbold queen.

Um, I so disagreed with her Balenciaga take, like, she was really just using like sound bites and buzzwords for like cancel culture, um,

to talk about Balenciaga, and like, that's not at all what was going on.

And at first, like, I was kind of agreeing with what she was saying, like, when this came out, she, like, wasn't really paying attention, and she didn't know why people were bringing her into it because she was like, I looked, and it wasn't a campaign I was a part of, it was before I was even with the company, and like, I had really had nothing to do with it I'm like yeah okay I guess and then she's like in the way like everyone just wants me to cancel like I don't believe in cancel culture like all these like clickbaity sound bites like that people talk about cancel culture which are valid when discussing cancel culture she was just like copy and pasting and like applying to the Balenciaga situation and I didn't agree with it like I really didn't at all it's not a situation of cancel culture it's not like cancel culture is very different like when we talk about cancel culture we're talking about people being held to the fire for mistakes that they made in their past.

And like, and not even their past.

It's also just like wrong mistakes.

Like things that they

have like, you know, stepped outside the box of what we want you to say or what we want you to do.

And like people can't like have their own point of view.

And so that's what cancel culture is.

It's, it's really more reserved for people and it's reserved for

If someone was caught out for being a pedophile and then we like stopped supporting them, I wouldn't wouldn't call that cancel culture.

Cancel culture.

Exactly.

I say we stopped supporting a pedophile.

So this is what we're always saying when it comes to cancel culture.

Like there's such a big difference between saying something unpopular and doing something unpopular.

Not unpopular.

No, no, I disagree.

Bad, bad, bad.

Illegal, criminal, ethically, morally wrong.

So there's a difference between saying something bad and doing something bad.

Correct?

Yeah.

So, and there's a difference between saying something

and criminal activity.

Right.

So the Balenciaga thing falls into the latter category.

That's not cancel culture.

Like, I don't think people want to wake up every day and spend their hard-earned money on a company that's subliminally sending out messages of child exploitation.

Like, that's not cancel culture.

That's normal human life.

Yes.

So the way she was using all these buzzwords that like people love and those clips always get shared, people really do, even though it seems like people like are always canceling.

Normal people don't like cancel culture.

And these podcast clips when you talk about cancel culture they always go viral people agree with that so she was trying to like take that energy and place it on the Balenciaga situation and that's not what it is it was kind of like such a lame answer I was like oh my god this is the best you could come up with to defend yourself

yeah

like just oh i'm sure that's i'm sure that's how she sees it though again i think i said this like i don't think she thinks that the people who she works with at balenciaga are like child predators so she's like oh they're just like they came off in that way and like we're not gonna going to cancel them for a mistake that they made that they portrayed themselves in a bad light.

But it's like, the

mistake.

The amount of subliminal messaging, like the years it goes back, like, and then, you know, when you really go into it, like individual people at the company, like

weird personal Instagram shit that has like demonic, satanic child stuff, like it's fucking weird.

And still the fact, like, no one has been fired, no accountability, everyone's favorite word.

Like, that's just, it's not going to work.

You know, me and Ben yesterday, we drove past the Balenciaga store on our way back from the airport and we were talking like, what do we think the long-term impact of this scandal will be on the company?

And I'm curious what your thoughts are because like,

I mean,

there has not been a human being inside of the Balenciaga store that I live near in weeks.

Like, it's crazy.

And so.

While it seems like

this is the end-all, be-all,

I also can see a world in which like we don't nobody talks about anymore how like Hugo Boss designed the Nazi uniforms and Coco Chanel was out here having sex with Nazis.

Like nobody talks about that.

It's just part of the fabric of the history of these companies.

And I feel like years from now, this will just be like one of Balenciaga's things.

Like these big companies, like they don't go anywhere.

You know, they can't be canceled.

Yeah, years from now, but if we're talking like 80 to 100 years, we will have forgotten that Balenciaga had subliminal child exploitation messaging and campaigns.

Balenciaga will still be like a major fashion house like Chanel and Hugo Boss.

That's what I'm saying.

Maybe because maybe like I think they're owned by who?

Like an L, I don't know.

But like a big

or whatever.

Because that big company can like support, you know, taking the L on a name like Balenciaga, which is like a the name itself, you can't even invent today.

Like it's an old name with history.

And so even if they like made the company smaller for a while and then in a generation or so so, like brought it back in a bigger way with people who like don't have the strong feelings that we have like going through it now, sure.

But like,

and not saying that's right or wrong, but this definitely would be better than like literally in a year, everyone having amnesia culture.

What about that?

And Balenciaga seekers are, you know, flying off the shelves.

Well, then it's also like, it reminds me like John Galeano.

Like John Galeano was caught on tape saying like what the Nazis were doing was amazing and they really should have succeeded.

And he really loved what they were doing and the gas that they were you know gassing the jews with was really like incredible stuff um and he's still out here like while he's not like he's still very like hot polarizing and his name like if a celebrity wears like a john galiano it's like a big deal but like he still works i think he designs for like margella like he's fine does he work i believe he does

i thought he was like thoroughly canceled.

I thought he was too.

But like sometimes people might wear like a vintage Galliano piece.

That's different than actively working, but I'm pretty sure he's still like.

But you're right.

He's been the creative director of Mason Margella.

So everyone is fraudulent and nobody actually cares about like accountability.

Like you could all eat my ass.

Literally.

Like fashion is so problematic beyond.

This is just one of a million things.

And so Balenciaga, this is my thesis coming to a conclusion.

Balenciaga will be fine because nobody fucking cares.

I don't know.

I think they're not going to, maybe they will, their name will survive this and one day be prosperous again.

But I think that they are going to have very

red in the red few years.

No, for sure.

And I'm sure John Galeato had a couple of red years too.

Yeah.

I actually only,

like, the thing is, even though, like, the media and the fashion industry are kind of ignoring this and like kind of gaslighting all of us into thinking like

conspiracy theories.

Right.

Like, what was that article we were talking about?

New York Times or something.

I think Like Snobiety or something, like the conspiracy theory about Balenciaga.

No, and then New York Times

article called it like an alt-right conspiracy theory.

Right, so what?

They're all gaslighting us, but like the people, and we are also the consumers, because the media is not buying all this stuff.

So like,

I really think the people will use their wallets to speak out about how we are so not here for this.

I only recently saw the John Galeano video that like got, I knew like John Galeano was bad because something Nazis like I honestly didn't bother to look into it because I don't fucking care about fashion but it just came up on my TikTok and it was honestly the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life yeah same I saw most of the video recently yeah I'd never seen it

Yeah, and we were like really young when it happened.

Yeah.

All's that to say is like I don't think Kim's answer is sufficient and I love my queen and I'm ready to start standing again, but she's making it hard.

Yeah, I don't know what it's going to take.

This did nothing for me.

Moves the needle in zero way.

Nothing.

The Christmas party hasn't warmed my heart.

Kylie's Aspen outfits were amazing.

Always, she's still, she's like my number one right now.

And I'm not mad at her, but like, I don't know what it's going to take.

I know.

It's,

I just feel like in order for her to get back in the graces of a lot of people, she really doesn't have to do that much.

And I think this podcast, like, she could have just like addressed it head on and been like, you know what?

I should have just stopped.

Um, and the podcast would have been buried with the new year, and like, we all could have moved on.

But, like, the way she's

not backing down and almost doubling down is very bizarre to me.

Cancel culture, like, it was so cliche, like, it was just like corny cancel culture sound bites.

It wasn't the vibe.

No, no, but I, I, I don't know what it's going to take, but I look forward to being taken once again.

I look forward to being taken.

Yeah, agreed.

We shall see.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

About unlikely BFFFFs celebrating New Year's together.

Nicola and Selena.

Nicola and Selena are twinning on New Year's Eve in sequin Valentino minis, and they reveal their matching tattoos.

Selena and Nicola Ann Peltz Beckham rang in the New Year twinning with matching dream dresses and tattoos.

The singer shared a series of sultry snaps of her and Nicola posing in the same long-sleeve Valentino mini sequin dresses for New Year's and wearing the same shoes.

They said, quote, I love you, my angel, forever.

And then they showed a picture of both of them having tattoos that say angel on their arms.

They were sharing so much.

I follow them both on Instagram.

I swear to God, each of them did four dumps of 10 photos.

Like it was insane how much footage, videos and photos from the beach and then the boat and then the party and then this insane amounts of footage.

Like I was like, damn, like all of us from one night.

This is such a fast and furious friendship.

And these celebrity friendships, I feel like when they come so hot, they also burn out so fast.

Like I feel like I could see in two weeks, these two never talking to each other again.

Yeah, I feel like especially with these two people, like I can't think of Nicola anything other than like Bella Thorne's personal bully.

I know.

And Selena, like, you know, she's had some celebrity friendships that she's not as close with anymore.

You could go back as far as Demi,

Kidney.

Francia Raisa.

Yep, the only one who stood the test of time is Taylor.

But like, I just, I hope they stay friends forever.

I'm like loving this.

I'm living for the content.

They're giving us so much.

Nicola posted like a whole music video.

Did you see that one?

Like them on the boat.

There was so much Selena content.

And I actually feel like for a celebrity, she's really private.

And I just was like, does Selena know you're putting this video out?

No, but then Selena was also putting out like so much content.

It was just like an insane.

The volume of content to put out from like one New Year's Eve.

And all of Selena's documentary friends were there.

So it's not like she's leaving them behind.

No, Raquel was there.

That was the first I'd seen of Raquel since.

But I didn't see, not that it matters.

I didn't see Selena with a man.

No.

She was really with like Nicola and Brooklyn.

Brooklyn.

Well, and then like all the Beckhams were together.

And David Beckham posted a picture of the whole family.

Like, happy New Year's at Brooklyn, Beckham Pelts.

We miss you.

Not at Nicola, just at Brooklyn.

Yeah.

So

if you wanted to read into that, you could.

And I could.

It's a little shady for sure, given what we know.

But like

they're with their kids and they miss their other kid.

Like, Nicola is not their daughter.

Like, we're with our blood and we miss our blood.

No, but like, none of their other kids are married.

So, like, she's like the daughter-in-law, you know?

No, but like, say that there was no drama between any of them, at least that we knew about.

We don't know.

And it's just like a family posting that they miss the other.

I would just want a smoking gun.

Okay, no, if, like, Ben's mom posted a photo

with her,

Bruce, and Maddie.

It's different because there's not like a gaggle of children.

Right, but then if they were like at boy with no job, miss you, like, what about me?

I'd be like, okay, that's fair.

Actually,

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't think it's rude.

No, but.

It's rude because we know that there's beef between the piccola pelts.

Right.

I don't have beef with Ben's parents.

Right.

So the child.

Oh, they miss their kin.

No, yeah.

Let them miss their son in peace.

But if they were like, boy with no job, pups with no job right right jackie oh

mar gosh right no that would definitely be cause for concern

anyways um looks like they had a great uh

a great trip great time yeah i hope this friendship stands the test of time it's giving me like pete and ariana like so fast so furious tattoos

Tattoos.

Tattoos is crazy, but it's not like it says like Nicola and Selena.

It says angel, which you could always repurpose.

Right.

To

angelic.

Or angel itself.

I just have a new angel.

Yeah.

Like, you were my angel this day.

I would love for Selena.

Even at their wedding.

No.

It's a new friendship, like literally in the last month.

But sometimes you just click with people.

That's true, too.

A lot of, there could be a lot of different ways about this.

Yeah, no, and I'm into it.

Like, I'm into it.

I hope it stands the test of time.

And then, like, when Selena starts dating someone and him and Brooklyn really get along and they go golf like i love love love love yeah double date yeah so i guess selena's not dating that guy from the summer anymore no that was like a fling an italian fling romance and it was just for a moment hmm okay well our next story i don't want to necessarily call this new couple news but it could be is it the potential new couple news that's brought to you by zock doc yes it is there's nothing worse than going to a doctor's appointment expecting to be the center of attention and then your doctor seems like they have better things to do and places to be.

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Thank you, but Clardia.

You're welcome.

So, an unlikely friendship or more than friends, I want to get your opinion.

Angelina Jolie and newly single Paul Mezcal were spotted enjoying a coffee date

after she watched him perform in a streetcar named Desire.

Angelina and Paul were pictured grabbing a coffee together after she watched his performance in a streetcar named Desire at the Almeida Theater in London.

The unlikely friends were pictured in the theater's coffee shop where they were engaged in conversation while surrounded by empty tables.

They were also joined by Angelina's daughter, Shiloh, who's 16.

Angelina, by the way, is 47.

Paul Mezcal is 26.

Okay, first of all, we need to backtrack because Paul Mezcal is single.

And this is the craziest thing.

He was engaged to Phoebe Bridgers.

And then...

And people were like obsessed because like Phoebe Bridgers watched normal people and like was tweeting about how she loved the show so much and she was obsessed with Paul Mezcal.

And they like literally met on Instagram.

Like during COVID, like he joined her Instagram live and like she was like living out all of our fantasies because we all watched normal people and we're like, oh my god, Paul Mezcow is so hot.

They started dating, they got engaged, and it was like, literally, like, we all were Phoebe Bridgers.

Then there are like rumors a couple weeks ago that they broke up because she is like seeing or cheated on him with Bo Burnham.

And then I was like, wait, what?

Because

Bo Burnham released his special inside, I never saw it.

It was another pandemic guy.

Another pandemic guy.

But when Phoebe was on tour, she took one of his songs

and like made it her own and like took it out on tour.

There

it is

again.

That funny feeling.

That fun.

And so then like he came to her show and he was so excited and they like had this really cute friendship.

But now people are saying they're dating.

And now he's dated.

Now I didn't even know this next layer because I had heard this whole story, but not the Angelina Jolie part.

Now Paul Mezcow, no, I think Paul Mezcow, like

he's in this play that's being like critically acclaimed.

She got tickets and like, you know, celebrities go to Broadway shows all the time.

I don't think that these two are dating.

Not only is it not age-appropriate, like, I just don't see it.

I agree.

I don't think they're dating.

I think like it was like a mutual respect coffee.

His daughter was there, her daughter.

Yes, but

that's what I thought like when she was spotted out with the weekend.

So I'm just a little naive to these things.

Maybe they're potential business partners.

Maybe they're potential business partners.

I don't know.

Either way, like that's a really good look for him, especially if he was just like dumped in a big way.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Like they're both like they're both so private.

They don't like speak about their,

they never even like announce their engagement.

They just like started wearing a ring.

Like they're both keep their private lives private.

So I'm not sure if we'll ever get a clarification, but I would love to know what happened there because that was like such a cute, like, like Phoebe Bridgers was like us, you know?

She was one of us.

Yeah.

I love it.

Anyway, this is a good, this is a really good look look for him, though, to be yeah.

And I don't, I don't not chip.

I don't not chip either.

I just don't believe it.

And I'm certainly not going to spend time building a ship when I genuinely think this is just a friendship.

Like a date with her daughter at coffee doesn't count.

Or it's like, we've been dating for so long.

I'm finally going to meet my daughter.

It doesn't line up with the timeline.

No, it doesn't.

But

I'm here for it.

I just saw it was an interesting headline.

You know, for sure.

One I couldn't predict for 2023.

No, and I hadn't even heard that.

But if anyone has any extra insight, like blind items, I'm so curious about the Palmez Cal Phoebe Pritchards of it all.

Oh, yes.

Please help Claudia in her quest for information.

Because I watched Normal People too, and like I was

obsessed, even though like, fuck Sally Rooney.

I hated that show.

I didn't like the book.

I didn't finish the show.

It's not like for me.

Like, a theme that I'm noticing in the content is that it's so depressing.

That was one of the first shows that I felt that way about where it was like, this show is making me depressed and I want to be happy.

Like, I don't know to be depressed.

We're constantly trying to stay above the line and it's a struggle.

Why would I watch something that's going to bring me below it?

No, you're 100% right, but like I could not turn it off.

Paul Mezcal is a star.

The story wasn't that like

different or whatever, but he, he's a star.

No, I could no longer take it.

And that's so much of what I've watched over break was bring those feelings on of like, I'm feeling depressed.

Wow.

And this is entertainment is supposed to be

entertaining.

Like, I want to see more positive, uplifting content in 2023.

That's my resolution to stop watching things that are negatively affecting my mental health.

I'm like, no wonder there's a mental health crisis in this country.

I completely agree.

It's really, it's not that surprising.

Everything is dark.

Everything is twisted.

Everything like glorifies like depression and suicide.

I completely agree.

And I think like we always are talking about the mental health crisis and we're not really ever actively doing doing anything about it.

And I think if like our art and our entertainment could reflect a more and not like silence depression, because that's real, but like if everything popular is like sad, then sadness becomes popular.

100%.

I agree.

We don't need to wallow in it.

And we agree to be like aspirational content.

Like I just feel like the movie industry is supposed to like uplift people.

It does the opposite.

No.

And I feel like not enough is spoken about about like the really negative cultural impact of the show 13 Reasons Why.

Like nobody ever explained themselves for that show.

Like the way

it so glorified and normalized suicide.

And like

the way like people now say, like in popular culture, it's like really common to say, this is my 13th reason.

Like, and it's a joke, but like, it's not.

You know what I mean?

Like, I think that show did so much damage to young people.

It was literally a show that romanticized suicide and was targeted for teenagers.

A hundred percent.

There are a lot of other shows like it too.

I think that that was a big one because it's literally 13 reasons why I'm going to commit suicide.

Yeah.

Right.

That was the premise.

So like what about a show 13 reasons why you should stay alive?

Yeah.

No, I just 13 wonderful reasons why it's wonderful to be alive.

I feel like entertainment and like Hollywood like really could be doing more.

And like I get it.

Art is twisted and it's tortured and it's dark.

And there should be a corner of the entertainment industry for that.

It should be like anything else.

It's like a corner.

Anything else that's like a big picture where there's some of this and there's some of that.

It's not a corner anymore.

It's the whole landscape.

It's the whole landscape.

Yeah,

2023.

I'm going to stop in the middle of watching shows that are not making me feel good.

Just like I just watched Fleiswind is in Trouble.

Depression on a platter.

I finished it last night.

It was so fucking bad.

Don't watch it.

It was just like,

it was so dreadful and like just existentially like,

I guess we're just gonna get older and sadder until we die.

Yeah.

I never thought about my life like that.

And then I was watching it last night and I was like, I'm a little depressed.

Thank you.

No, that shit depresses me.

So I'm going to stop watching shows that from the jump aren't making me feel inspired, uplifted, motivated.

And I'm going to be sharing more positive content with the group.

Love.

The Culpo sisters.

Love.

Okay, are you ready for our fifth and final story?

There's only one way to ring in season six.

It's the final story.

like a whore.

Love it.

Our fifth and final story is some upsetting sports news, actually, again.

But Martina Navratilova has been diagnosed with two forms of cancer.

I know.

Tennis Gray and Real House Eyes of Miami spouse, Martina Navartilova, said Monday that she's been diagnosed with throat cancer and breast cancer.

In a statement released by her representative, the 18-time Grand Slam singles champion and member of the International Tennis Hall of Fame, said her prognosis is good and she will start treatment this month.

She said, This double whammy is serious but still fixable, and I'm hoping for a favorable outcome.

It's going to stink for a while, but I'll fight with all I have got.

She said she noticed an enlarged lymph node in her neck while attending the season-ending WTA finals in Fort Worth, Texas in November, and a biopsy showed early-stage throat cancer.

While she was undergoing tests on her throat, she said the unrelated breast cancer was discovered.

Oh my God.

Yeah, she had also been diagnosed with a non-invasive form of breast cancer in 2010 and had a lumpectomy.

This is so sad.

I love Martina.

Like, I think she's a really smart person who like

is just what Julia needs because Julia is like all over the place and really annoying.

She's really like a bright spot on the show.

And I obviously think like her.

being on the show was like huge for the show because she's so major in her career.

And when I heard this, I was so sad and so devastated.

And I really hope she's going to be okay because I really like her.

Yeah.

She said she's fighting with everything that she has.

I hope that, you know, that we all get the outcome, a positive outcome here.

But it's crazy to read this article and like see how much she's accomplished and how like now to Hausai Sand, she's like a wife.

She's his wife.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you read her accomplishments?

It said 18 time Grand Slam.

18 time Grand Slam.

And then also she won 59 Grand Tech.

Grand Slam titles overall, including 31 in women's doubles and 10 in mixed doubles.

So then it was 18 in like uh singles.

Uh her last

her last mixed doubles championship with Bob Bryan at the 2006 U.S.

Open was a month shy of her 50th birthday.

Oh my god.

Queen shit.

Carrie Soto wishes.

No, I knew her.

Like I had heard her name when she

when they announced Julia and when you think you're like the biggest female tennis stars like her name is comes is there.

But I never actually looked into her accomplishments and she's so major.

She's so major.

I always forget about mixed doubles.

I didn't even know that was a thing.

Men and women together.

Men and women together.

Like, so cute.

So cute.

We love teamwork.

Cross-channel.

Zach and I play mixed doubles pickleball.

I heard.

I heard there was an injury at your pickleball court.

I heard Shibuya.

There was.

Shapiro couldn't handle it.

We've been playing a lot of pickleball and we've kind of been killing it.

Zach and I are actually really good

doubles, like partners.

We're pretty on the same level.

Yeah, we're also good one-on-one, like against each other because we're like well-matched.

I think we should like do it.

We should start a league.

We could make a thing of it if we started playing in leagues and stuff.

Like, I think we have what it takes.

You know, Spritz hosted a pickleball tournament in Austin.

It was like a Spritz-sponsored event.

Ben flew down.

He said it was so much fun.

You should get like 10 couples and do a tournament and like everyone will be drinking all day.

That's so fun.

Yeah, we should.

I just need to get a little better first so I can wipe the court with them.

And like make a few more friends.

Oh, yeah.

I think we have like six couples.

That's good.

Will two of them include you and Olivia?

Yes.

Oh, okay.

You need to make a few more.

And you and Ben will come down for the tournament, seven.

For sure.

I'll be the referee and halftime show.

Can't wait.

And you'll sing the national anthem.

Oh, of course.

Everyone will take their hats off and respect.

Oh, you know what?

I wanted to say something.

So.

I have this feeling every time I leave the country, which I don't do often because I'm a creature of habit.

We were talking on our trip.

Everyone was talking about travel they want to take this year.

And I said, my, my number one

location is I want to go to Montana this year.

And it shouldn't be that hard.

It's like in the country and I can make it happen.

But everyone was saying, you know, Japan and whatever.

And I was talking and explaining how I'm really like such a creature of habit and I like love this country.

And whenever I leave the country,

so many things are different.

So many little things.

It's not anything major or monumental, but like it's Coke Zero and not Diet Coke.

And the air conditioning doesn't work that well.

And it's just like little difference in the cultures that eventually by the end of the week, like I'm so fucking ready to go home.

And I was feeling that because they didn't have Diet Coke, they only had Coke Zero at all the restaurants at the hotel, outside of the hotel, and it was really fucking pissing me off.

And then I started to notice like other little cultural things.

And as a creature of habit, like it really was annoying me.

And I just wanted to come on here and say how grateful I am to live in America.

Like, I feel like we're always ragging on America and we have our problems, sure.

But this is a great country with Diet Coke.

With Diet Coke and like normal portions and food that I'm fucking used to and, you know, tap that I could drink from just from the sink like I just wanted to say I wanted to end the episode saying I love America you're feeling like a proud American yeah maybe when you don't leave the country for so long and you get you know all the infighting I could see yeah we are not we are not perfect we have our flaws some of us are really fucking annoying but

whenever I leave the country it's a good thing we got here and it's not this is not putting down other countries at all

because all the things that you described is people who live in other countries feel that way about their their country their portions there are to them normal portions

right so this is not me putting down it's just my comfort and my like you know me I'm so stubborn I like the same things I just I have that's my new also a New Year's resolution like appreciate America more

I love it

I drank four Diet Coke yesterday like on the plane when we finally flew United and I wasn't sure because like the country didn't have Diet Coke they had Coke light coke zero I'm like literally I was she ordered she's like like do you want a beverage before takeoff i'm like do you have diet coke she was like yeah i swear to god i almost cried it was so delicious i'm so happy for you yeah i've been drinking a lot of soda i'm gonna have one for lunch today too look at you

so those are the fast five you definitely needed to know absolutely everything that was said here on the show today because what we do

What we do is vital.

And it took, you know, it took our winter break for me to remember that.

Yes.

And also, I think part of our resolutions of positivity and positive influences in the culture is that we also have to be that positive influence in the culture.

We have to be the other people that we wish to see.

I can't be, by the way.

You can't be bringing people below the line.

I think we have always, that's actually always been like a core principle, like one of our scruples here at the toast is like the world gets dark and bad, but like the toast is always going to be there for you to make you laugh no matter what's going on and be an uplifting.

And so while we should definitely continue that energy and have that as our New Year's resolution, that has always been like a core tenant.

Is that the word?

I keep saying that today.

Tenant.

A tenant of what we do here and like one of our founding principles.

I totally agree.

And I think that's what also we get a lot of accolades for.

People saying, you know, like I was saying,

the toe sprout.

We are doing it for the accolades.

I'm going through a hard time and it's just like one hour a day where like I'm not thinking about negative things.

And that's why we do it to keep.

people positive.

That's what we do here.

And that's what we've done today with this extra long episode.

It's been so nice to be back.

I feel like I still have more to say, but you know what?

We have a whole week for that because the Toast is a lot of fun.

And we've got all year.

We've got all year.

We've got all life.

So

thank you so much for listening to the Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up because we appreciate the accolades.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cast Box, all the places.

So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us the toast, leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, smart, and wickedly talented we are.

Have an amazing Tuesday, and we'll see you tomorrow for Hump Day.

Bye.

Hey, love ya.

Bye.