S5 Ep79: Replacement Co-Host with Ben Soffer: Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Hope everyone had a great long weekend.

Well, your weekend wasn't long, but ours was.

I am joined in studio for the first episode of the week with a replacement co-host because Jackie is still in Dallas.

And it is none other than the one, the only, my husband, my rose is my husband, Ben Soffer.

Hey, Ben.

A replacement co-host.

What else would it be?

I don't know.

It's just like such a horrific intro.

Okay.

I'm joined by a replacement co-host.

Yeah, that actually, you're right.

It was kind of let.

It's like, why am I even here?

I'm out.

Because you're replacing the co-host.

It's true.

Thank you for being here.

I know you're.

I'm

beat up from a long weekend celebrating.

I'm good.

I'm good.

We are dead.

Yes.

We are dead human beings.

My voice sounds a little weird, but I feel fine.

Well, I don't feel fine, but I'm not like sick.

Ben and I were journeying through all of Canada this past weekend.

I was in Toronto and then we were in in Montreal for a wedding.

And now,

like, I will never be the same the way that I talk.

Like, I started to talk differently because I've been in Canada for so long, Montreal.

You did.

What did you say yesterday that I stopped you?

I'm like,

who's the word?

Fuck.

You didn't stop me, but I also noticed that, so we happened to be in Montreal for the, um, for a wedding, but it was also the big F1 race, which is called G-R-A-N-P-R-I-X, right?

Grand Prix.

I've been calling it because everyone in Montreal is like Grand Prix.

So I was like, Grand Prix, Grand Prix, and I was surprised you didn't make fun of me for it.

It's Grand Prix.

It's Grand Prix.

But everyone in Montreal was saying Grand Prix.

Got it.

Grand Prix, Grand Prix, it's similar.

I think you're going to say that people here say it's pricks.

No, no, no.

What?

That's funny, though.

No, so I've just been like talking so differently, I feel like.

Yeah.

Grand Prix.

Yeah.

We didn't go to Grand Prix, though, by the way.

No.

We just happened to have a wedding in Montreal the same exact weekend.

It was really fun.

I'm dead.

Yeah, we only benefited from the three times

flight prices.

So expensive.

Canceled airplanes.

Oh, my God.

I can't.

I went to Toronto on Thursday, and I happened to be flying out to Toronto the same day that Olivia was separately flying from Florida to New York.

Jackie was flying from New York to Dallas.

Every single one of our flights was canceled.

It was a crazy weekend.

If you traveled this weekend, like I feel for you.

I don't know what's going on.

People are not okay.

I think there's like labor shortages.

It's just atrocious.

I had two flights cancel on me in one day.

I can't even get into it because I have so much trauma.

But all I want to say is that I

will never leave my home again.

The wedding, though, was gorgeous.

I just want to say.

Oh, yeah.

I'm not clowning on the wedding.

Where we shit all over Montreal.

Excuse me, don't speak for me.

I'm not planning on shitting on Montreal.

I have to talk about their bagels.

Yes, you do.

But I just want to say.

Gorgeous town.

Gorgeous was amazing.

Very clean.

Gorgeous was amazing, is what I just said.

Wedding was amazing, everything was gorgeous, town was gorgeous.

The trains, so clean, I didn't take them so clean, but very nice town.

I agree, like, really clean.

A little

too many stoplights.

I felt like to go five blocks, it's a 30-minute journey because the lights, like, there's so many and they don't go in sync with each other.

They got to get them in sync.

It was annoying, but um, please go on your bagel uh tirade while I have.

I just got so many DMs asking me what's better, a Montreal bagel or a New York bagel.

As if it's a conversation.

So, I thought, wow, I'm in for a treat.

These Montreal bagels must be amazing.

And I'm here to tell you that they're dog shit.

They're so thin.

They're not good.

They taste like gluten-free bagels.

Really, they're terrible.

Did you accidentally order gluten-free bagels?

No.

Cream cheese tasted a little bit different.

I don't know if it's the same.

I don't know if the cows here are the same as the cows there.

It's like something about it.

It wasn't salty.

It was very plain.

It tasted more pasty.

So

none of the locks that I had was good.

Out of 10, what are you giving Montreal bagels?

A three.

The bagels I had were like significantly worse than an LA bagel, a Chicago bagel.

I've had a thousand bagels outside of New York within the United States that were better than the Montreal bagels that I had.

It's a hot take.

I don't think it is.

I think that the people who ask, Montreal or New York, was that a good accent?

No.

I don't know what that was.

Montreal or New York just have never been to New York and never had a New York bagel.

They just like...

What do you think think about that chain of bagel restaurant bagel like shops that I think it's called Brooklyn bagel that ship New York water to like LA and Florida to make bagels in Florida with New York water?

Because if you don't know, the reason why New York bagels is because the New York water is different and that's what goes into the dough.

So there's a company that literally ships barrels of New York water.

all over the country to their own bagel shops to make what they think are New York bagels but like in San Francisco.

Sounds like a Ponzi scheme.

Yeah,

you you don't believe it?

They're definitely not shipping New York water.

Yeah, they're lying.

They're saying this is made with New York water because nobody's ever going to fucking taste the difference because they live in Los Angeles.

It's literally

shipping water.

It's such a good call.

There's water there.

They're not shipping water.

Such a good call.

They're lying.

Wow.

They're lying.

Well, we don't know for a fact.

You know, we don't want to get sued.

What company is it?

It's called Brooklyn Bagel.

You've never seen like the.

I probably have, but I don't even think it's even.

It's probably not good.

I've never had it.

I always thought it was like an interesting concept.

You know, it's really not good.

Have Have you ever had Einstein?

Never in my life.

That place, Einstein bagel, pops up everywhere.

There's an Einstein everywhere.

It's true.

And, you know, speaking of bagels, that reminds me, I needed to talk about the new LaGuardia airport.

No, for those who don't know, LaGuardia Airport has always been like an actual crackdown.

Like, it's literally always been tiny, really close to Manhattan, not a ton of flights, and not like, it's not a premium experience.

There's not like lounges and restaurants and bars.

It's like you go there, you get in, you get out.

It's quick.

Super close to the city.

You're not spending hours there on a layover.

Like you're just going.

It's convenient.

It's not glamorous.

And literally since I was born, they have been new LaGuardia, like redoing.

I literally have vivid memories of being a six-year-old, like going on family vacation to Florida, pulling up.

And it's like, it's been a disaster construction zone for years.

I think it's...

totaling around five billion dollars is what they've spent.

And recently, like they've started to open up these terminals that they've been working on for actually 50 years.

And I have to say, people are like I was talking about it with a lot of people at the wedding.

They were like, oh my God, it's amazing.

There's an H ⁇ H bagels.

It's so clean and big.

Like

people are so fucking dumb.

It blows my mind.

What they did to LaGuardia is a disgrace.

It is a disgrace to humanity.

I don't need an H ⁇ H bagels.

I don't need a fancy bookstore.

Like literally, I want to walk one foot from my Uber to the gate.

That's what it used to be.

You could get from your Uber to the gate in literally a hundred steps now you we got off the plane we were wandering around this forlorn terminal for 45 minutes a tunnel a terminal a tunnel to another terminal oh no you want to go to baggage clip sorry 45 minute walk this way i was ready to literally kill someone at the end of it it was horrible so do i care that it's like fancy there's an h bagels uh i never go to h bagels in the city why the would i go in the airport who cares airports are not meant for lounging so everyone who's like oh my god it's amazing like all these restaurants shut up.

Like you're dumb.

Like you're literally so dumb and stupid.

I hate the new LaGuardia.

Literally every person who contributed to making it the concrete shithole that it is like deserves jail for life.

And I will never, after what I experienced yesterday, I will never, literally, you will never catch me, my big fat ass, in LaGuardia airport ever fucking again.

Fuck you.

Do airports get paid for by taxpayer dollars?

Probably.

People's priorities.

That's upsetting.

People's priorities, priorities though are really out of whack it's very bizarre no okay ready no you don't need restaurants because the idea is that you're not supposed to spend a lot of time there or money yeah well whatever okay here i have a perfect example i've been on tour for a while i've been to literally every airport and i would say the best airport in the entire world

is it kansas city it's kansas city missouri Now, I'll have you know the first time I went to Kansas City, Missouri, I was posting on Instagram, like so excited to be doing a show in Kansas City.

People were sending me messages like, We're so sorry about the airport.

Like, don't let it be a reflection of how you feel about St.

Kansas City.

Do not like let it, don't hate us because of the airport.

So, I'm like, What am I walking into?

Because to me, the definition of a terrible airport is something huge with walks to your gate that take 45 minutes, walks to the ground transportation that take an hour.

So, my imagine my surprise.

I land at Kansas City and I get into a taxi.

I swear to God, 45 seconds after stepping off the plane.

It's literally, the airport can't be more than a thousand square feet.

It's the craziest thing.

There's not a Starbucks.

There's literally one little man selling muffins.

It's literally like the most low-budget thing.

And it is the best airport I've ever seen.

Like, normalize not liking airports that are fancy.

It's a scam, and people are so dumb for believing it.

It's bothering the shit out of me.

Like, we had one nice thing.

We had LaGuardia.

It was small.

It wasn't fancy.

It was tiny and it was convenient.

And now it's ruined just like everything else this is why we can have nice things

what do you think is actually the best because look

that airport sounds nice it's incredible particular situation that you have you can get to your flight 20 minutes before it's incredible if you can get to your flight 20 minutes before then it's a great airport but i was gonna say i think the best airport in the country let's say it on the i know what you're gonna say okay let's say it on the count of one three no one wait are we saying the name or the acronym the name I don't know the acronym.

I only know the acronym.

Oh, then we're saying different ones.

Okay.

I'm not saying Newark are you?

No.

Terrible.

It's PBI.

Oh, PBI is really good.

Nantucket is also good.

No, PBI.

The Palm Beach Airport is the perfect blend of we have some food, like a little pizzeria, so you can get a nice snack, but it's small.

But we're not overdoing it.

We're not overdoing it.

You're not going to have to walk more than 10 minutes to find your gate.

Yeah.

I agree.

That's it's a great airport.

Gorgeous.

And I'm trying to think where I went recently that was like the worst.

It was somewhere in Texas.

Huge.

Like trams.

I hate a tram.

Okay, but you know what?

I don't hate a tram because if my alternative is walking to my gate, I'm taking that fucking tram.

No, tram's better, for sure.

I like a tram.

So I'm just like bent out of shape and I don't think I'll ever be traveling ever again.

Like I think traveling is,

it's not for me.

It's not for me.

You don't want to go to Florida this weekend.

I know.

It's not for me.

Like I can't imagine getting back on a plane.

After what I've been through.

Florida.

Now, before we dive in, I had a few more things I wanted to talk about.

The first is literally what I woke up for today.

Like, the reason for the season, the reason why I'm here today is to talk about the summer I Turned Pretty, which is the new show on Amazon based off of the three books, the trilogy by Jenny Han,

which I read last summer and loved so much.

And I've been waiting for this TV show to come out.

It's on Amazon Prime.

If you haven't watched it, go watch it.

It's so good.

If you're thinking about reading the books before, I highly recommend the first season of this show only covers the first books.

You only have to read the first one.

You watched a couple episodes with me, but like when I tell you, I've never, not never, but I can't remember like a time in recent history where I've been so obsessed with a TV show.

One, because I read the book, so I'm like super invested in it.

Two, I love the concept, you know, it's like that preteen coming of age story, you know, you're starting like it was just, it was too much.

And the soundtrack.

So

I can't also remember a time in recent memory where I was so impacted by the soundtrack of a TV show.

It was incredible.

I couldn't have chose the songs better better myself.

We had Olivia Rodrigo.

We had so much Taylor Swift.

We had Billie Eilish.

We had Bleachers.

We had Phoebe Bridgers.

I've been listening to the soundtrack playlist on Spotify.

It's so good.

I just like, I spent every free moment I had this weekend.

Thank God.

Shout out to the W in Montreal for having Amazon Prime because I don't know what I would have done.

They had it on the TV.

It was so premium.

I fucking loved it.

Now, I have a few things like, obviously, I wasn't obsessed with that I'll get into in one second.

But before I say the negative, I just want to say I loved everything about it.

They had a few changes.

You know, if you read the book a lot of people were like all bent out of shape like they changed so much i actually didn't think that they changed that much and when you do adapt a book like you have to change some things so here's what they changed one

jeremiah is bisexual which i don't believe he was in the book but doesn't really change anything so who cares um the other thing that they changed was a lot of the show was centered around the around the debutante ball which is like not a thing in the book but it also didn't bother me because they thought they the way they did it was really visually stunning and like that scene you guys know know where i don't want to spoil it i won't spoil it but like when that's the way i loved you came on like

dead like it was it was so good i know you watched a couple episodes with me um

but like who cares because i'm talking i was gonna say i was you can stop saying that i realized that like i haven't let you talk in a while but like i just need to get this on my chest the one thing i did not like about the show the one thing that i did not like was this

Oh, also another thing that was not in the book was Cleveland Castillo, but I kind of liked that little addition, addition, so I didn't mind.

The one thing I didn't like was, and the person who I thought was Miss Cast, which upsets me deeply because I actually really like this character, was Susanna.

I thought the actress who played Susanna was like giving community theater.

It was giving like bad acting.

And I was just like kind of cringing in a lot of her scenes, which is sad because she's an important character.

And she's from Seventh Heaven and the clueless TV show.

Like, she's an iconic TV actress.

Did you remember that?

I do now.

Did you watch Seventh Heaven growing up?

Of course.

So good.

They know that there's no better feeling feeling than love of family

seventh heaven it's weird how much like christian family vibes got into my incredibly jewish home so true it's an amazing point same with us yeah just like what no but seventh heaven

amazing show yeah but didn't something terrible happen with uh the the dad i think he's like in jail he's like he turned out to be like literally like an enormous predator that's what it was right yeah like i think his name is steven something he's like disgusting

um but still seventh Heaven slaps.

So watch it.

Like, I loved it so much.

I've been in like a TV hangover ever since.

Like, I don't think I'll ever be that happy again.

My life was so good when I had episodes in front of me.

The fact that they made it seven episodes, 45 minutes, like, it's not long enough.

I loved every minute of it.

It was so beautifully done.

I don't know where they shot it, but it was just gorgeous.

I loved it.

It was so good.

And that's what I wanted to say here on the toast today.

And now I'm ready to move on.

Anything else you want to talk about before we dive into the fast five stories?

Oh, I do.

I basically enjoy a podcast alone today.

I just have to say,

sorry, it's just we haven't been on since Thursday, so there's like a lot of catching up to do.

Um, Breaking Bread, for those who missed the live show last week, is up on Spotify.

You can listen to it on demand.

We are like, um, I don't know, the most popular bitches on Spotify.

We're number two, like literally under Joe Rogan, number two, not even in comedy, like overall.

Isn't that crazy?

Crazy.

I saw that when I woke up yesterday or the day before, and I was hooked.

So, new episode is going to be live tomorrow.

So, if you want to watch live, of course, Spotify Live, the app, you can watch it live there.

You can also watch it live on Spotify.

but if you miss it they're always on demand starting on Fridays so

yeah

okay now I'm ready I'm sorry I had like five things I needed to like get off my chest don't be sorry but now you're carrying the show but now I'm ready to do an amazing show with my replacement co-host oh sorry I just need to crack my neck you think they can hear the crack in the microphone um probably not cool Penn loves to crack his neck.

I really do wish I could.

Sometimes I'm like, oh, if only I could just crack my neck.

Yeah, but the problem is once you crack it, then you need to crack it and crack it and crack it and crack it.

How many times?

You become a slave slave to the crack.

How many times a day do you crack your neck?

I don't even know at this point.

All the time.

And then all of a sudden, like five years, I'm going to wake up unbelievably arthritic.

Yeah.

Not being able to move my neck.

100%.

Because of these like little cracks that I do.

Meanwhile, you long term, your neck's going to be perfect.

You should work on stopping that then.

No, it's done.

It's like smoking cigarettes.

Totally.

That's it.

I'm addicted to the crack.

Okay, well, I feel like without further ado,

where are you?

It's time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Oh, fuck, I forgot that you do that.

You are so

annoying.

I do.

Beat it.

You beat the cringe.

Beat it.

Congratulations, you beat the cringe.

Congratulations.

Beat it.

Ben, you played yourself.

Also, for those wondering, Jackie is back in the studio tomorrow.

She is traveling back from Dallas today, and she did a meet-and-greet at Specs for Spritz, and I heard it went amazing.

I did too.

I heard it was a sold-out affair.

The girlies came in excess.

It looked

unbelievable.

Yeah.

By the way, I just said, meanwhile, if you'd like a code, have you tried Peach?

I don't know if you've tried Peach, but you should try Peach.

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Enjoy it.

Enjoy it.

You're going to like the way you look.

I guarantee it.

By the way, men's warehouse.

I know what you're going to say.

Unbelievable.

Do you never really shop there?

No one does.

It's unbelievably sad.

No,

you have to be down on your luck, walk in there, and then you're met with this amazing surprise that there is some stuff in there that isn't shit.

Right, because we had so many wedding events, and a lot of them were themed.

Like one of the nights was a white party.

I wasn't going to buy a white linen suit for $2,000 that was going to get like $2,000 immediately dirty.

Yeah, that's what regular suits are like between $1,000 and $2,000.

That's Mirana.

It could be even more.

That's literally the dumbest thing.

Suits are very expensive.

So you went to men's warehouse and you found Love in a Hopeless Place?

Unbelievable white linen suit.

I'm sorry.

No.

$400.

Was it linen?

Yes.

You looked great.

I know.

Can you move your mic a little closer?

We're recording a podcast.

You couldn't hear me?

No, I can hear you.

Yes.

Can't he tell us if he can't hear me?

No, but see, we have to be like the same distance away from the microphone, you know?

It's all right.

You'll get it.

Cool.

Okay, well, let's dive in.

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All right, are you ready?

It is a great razor.

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We're getting Starbucks ads.

Yeah, that's incredibly cool.

Good for you.

Okay.

So, first story is some Broadway news.

And normally I don't care about Broadway news, but this is like,

you know how much this means to me once I tell you the headline.

Ready?

Leah Michelle might finally be funny girl on Broadway after Beanie Feldstein is bailing.

Wow.

So the rumor is no laughing matter for Leah Michelle fans.

The 35-year-old is reportedly the producer's pick to play Fannie Bryce in Funny Girl once Beanie Feldstein leaves the role in September, according to Showbiz411.

A representative for Leah Michelle declined to comment when she was contacted by New York Post.

But Michelle has publicly manifested her desire to play the Barbara Streisand original character for years.

She got a taste on the first season of Glee when she sang Don't Rain on My Parade.

She also performed the Showtune at the 2010 Tony Awards.

So let's unpack this.

Let me give you like the debrief.

So you know I know everything.

But do you know that like

I don't know why Beanie Feldstein's stepping back besides the fact that people said it's not good.

So Beanie Feldstein was playing this role for six months, which for like a major A-lister lead role, this is what people like on TikTok who are Broadway experts are saying, like, it's very uncommon.

Like she should be staying longer.

Jane Lynch is also leaving, who plays Beanie Feldstein's mom, Fannie Bryce's mom in the play.

But for like for not a main character, that's common after six months.

But like for a headliner, what people are saying, it's, it's kind of weird.

But there's been a lot of weirdness.

So when they announced that Funny Girl was becoming a Broadway show, of course, everyone was like Leah Michelle.

Not only because she looks so much like a young Barbara Streisand, she's been like a Barbara Streisand

advocate like her whole life.

She's obsessed with Barbara Streisand.

Then her character in Glee was obsessed with playing funny girl on Glee.

She did in the sixth season eventually get to like become the role of Fanny Bryce, whatever.

And anytime they've ever been asked about a Funny Girl Broadway revival, it's always been Leah Michelle.

But then Leah Michelle had some like bad press

like a little over a year ago.

And then they announced that the show was coming.

And I think that like the producers either didn't want to work with her because of her bad press or for whatever reason.

And they went with Beanie Felstine, which I thought was such a bizarre choice.

I didn't even know that she sang.

And I have seen a couple clips on TikTok of her performance.

And I have to say, it is underwhelming to say the least.

Like the song, specifically Don't Rain on My Parade is such a big song.

You need like someone with a huge voice who can belt.

And I was, when I saw a clip of her scene, like, the, the climax of that song, I was, I was shook.

I was like, this is terrible.

Um, and so the fact that she's leaving is crazy because it's been such a short amount of time.

And if Leah Michelle does get it, like, I do think it will be so much better than Beanie Felstein.

Yeah, I mean, her voice is amazing.

Her voice is amazing.

She is the character.

Wasn't her bad press that she's like mean?

Yeah, that like she.

Because maybe it's not the bad press.

Maybe they didn't want to work with somebody that's mean.

Well, like I assume that she's an absolute nightmare to work with.

Well, the thing is, is like, well, yes, I think maybe they didn't choose her.

I think they didn't choose her because of the bad press because everyone in Hollywood is difficult to work with.

And I don't think Leah Michelle is exceptionally different than anyone else.

I just think she got called out.

publicly.

Interesting.

So, and like brands were dropping her.

It was like her little cancellation.

Got it.

But I do think if she does get this role, like that will officially be behind her.

Like that whole, But it has really affected her for a long time.

Yeah.

She's been like very quiet.

She had a baby.

Like she hasn't really worked a ton.

But now she's doing this Spring Awakening thing on HBO Max.

She's like getting more involved back, especially with Broadway.

So I do think that like her time has come.

I'm sure she's like swallowing like a, you know, a lot of her pride and eating humble pie, the fact that like she's having to take the role from Beanie Feltstein and she wasn't like the first choice for everyone.

She could think about it like that, but if she came and did it, it would be significantly better.

And you know how much I hate Broadway shows.

but I would see this in a second.

Like I would go to opening night.

I would do everything I can to get tickets.

For sure.

It's, it's literally like, it's me playing Tracy Turnblad.

Like things just make sense, you know?

It's, you know, it's kismet, you know?

And as much as you might not like Leah Michelle, you have to admit, like, no one could play this role on the planet better than her.

And I hope that this is true.

And I guess we'll find out.

Agreed.

Justice for Leah Michelle might be might be coming around, might get served.

And we're happy for her.

So it's funny.

I I actually know a lot of people that went to see Funny Girl.

Really?

And, or by a lot of people, I mean two different sets of people.

Okay.

And both times, Beanie Feldstein was out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She seems to have been out a lot.

It's just been like a really weird thing that she did because I don't really think that people were expecting it to be her.

I do love that she's a Jewish queen because like it's such a Jewish role.

And Lee Michelle, I believe, is half Jewish.

So it's like, it's authentic.

But I don't think it was the right thing for her.

I think it made her like look bad.

I think a lot of people, you're right, saw her understudy do it, who I heard was great.

There have just been like whispers that she's not been like pleasant.

Like, I don't think it was the right move for Beanie, especially coming off of the

TV show.

What was it called that we watched about Monica Lewinsky, where she was

incredible?

Impeachment.

She was a star.

Amazing.

She was amazing.

She was amazing in it.

But maybe what you're saying is why she's been out.

Maybe the songs are just a little bit too big.

Yeah, I think the role is too big for her.

Maybe it's just bad casting.

I think it was poor casting.

And I think like the way they went out of their way to not give it to Leah Michelle

because of her bad press

was silly because now I think they're going to go with her anyway.

But later.

I do think it should have been her to start.

All right, well, that's your little Broadway news that we don't really talk about, but we'll keep you updated on whether or not that's actually true.

We could have just like done a 20-minute conversation about something.

That's not even true because it's just a rumor.

But speaking of rumors, Chloe Kardashian might have a new man.

She's dating a private equity investor that she met through Kim.

So Chloe Kardashian has a new man in her life.

Page six can confirm.

A source tells us that the Kardashian star is currently dating a private equity investor she met through her older sister, Kim Kardashian.

The insider says that Khloe and her mystery man were introduced at a dinner party a few weeks ago and that the two hit it off.

The relationship is in its early stages and Chloe's feeling really good, according to people who broke the news on Monday.

Additionally, we're told that Chloe and her ex-boyfriend, Tristan Thompson, do not talk unless it's about their daughter, the four-year-old True Thompson.

Over the weekend, the Good American founder shut down rumors that she was seeing another NBA player.

People were like starting rumors that Chloe was seeing some guy.

She shut it down on Instagram.

She said, it's definitely not true.

After they thought she was dating the Chicago Bulls center forward, it was on Dumois.

Who's the center forward of the Chicago Bulls?

Lucevich.

Oh, no, no, sorry.

They heard she was dating another basketball player after she split from the Chicago Bulls center forward.

Is that Tristan?

Like he's on the Bulls?

He's the backup.

Also, who says center forward?

No, it's one position.

He's the center.

Why didn't they just say he's the backup center?

Why didn't they just say after the loser?

They should say Chicago Bulls loser.

No, they should say Chicago

after her split.

He's certainly not the Chicago Bulls center forward.

No one, if you say Chicago Bulls center forward, no one will ever say Tristan Thompson.

Okay, what we were saying is like she also, this article could have just said after her split from Tristan Thompson.

Or it could say, like, if they want to talk about him as it relates to the league, former like Cleveland Cavaliers champion Kristen Thompson, like somebody?

What did I say?

Kristen.

Tristan Thompson.

Center forward bulls.

Yeah.

I don't even know if he's the backup.

He might be the backup's backup.

Yeah, no, he's definitely not good anymore.

It's not that he's not good.

He's just not in their rotation.

But this is not the part of the story that I care about.

The part of the story that I care about.

This is the part of the story that I care about.

I know, but the part of the story that's like so important is that Chloe Kardashian has a businessman bow, which we have been saying on this show for years is exactly what she needs.

You know, she's been dating athletes and fellow celebrities who don't treat her with the respect that she deserves.

She's been cheated on and treated poorly by so many men.

I'm sure.

I'm sure she'll get, she'll be treated really well by a private equity man.

Are you being sarcastic?

They tend to have like great morals.

Yeah, what do you mean?

You want a great man?

Go find a farmer.

Private equity.

It doesn't even mean anything.

No, it's E C.

It's

what can I say?

I'm so glad she's going in a different direction.

This is totally different than what she's done before, which is like really athlete after athlete.

So at least she's changing, you know, a little bit.

Maybe this isn't going to be the thing, you know, the end relationship to end all relationships, but at least she's looking for love in different places because it hasn't really worked out for her in the past.

And me and Jackie have always said she needs a businessman bow, someone who's focused on like running a business, not being a celebrity, just being, you know, wealthy on her level, can take her places, but isn't like thirsting out, trying to get, you know, ride her coattails

she needs a Pete Davidson like yes but I think that this is way closer to her Pete Davidson than anything she's ever had no she needs a fun go with the flow not trying to be on her level this guy is going to try to be on her level like flashing all this cash she doesn't need any cash no but that's a nice guy you know that's the thing with like rich businessmen is that they have money.

They don't need fame.

Most people, if you have money,

what's that phrase?

Hold on.

No, before you interrupt me.

What's that phrase?

It's like,

you know what?

Let me not botch it.

If you don't need fame, you're not dating Chloe Kardashian.

I'm sorry.

If you're an unbelievably successful private equity man, you're not dating Chloe unless you're looking for fame.

Okay.

That was a great call.

It's not even listening.

It's Bill Murray.

Wow, I didn't realize it was Bill Murray.

I always like to say people who want to be rich and famous, try being rich first and see if that doesn't cover most of it.

So, it's like rich people don't need to be famous, but famous people do need to be rich.

So, a famous older, you know, businessman is going to be secure.

He's not, he doesn't need to be famous.

He's rich.

If he doesn't need to be famous, then why is he seeking Chloe Kardashi?

Because he probably runs in like elite circles.

And look, how could you not meet Chloe and be taken by her?

She's an incredibly special soul.

If you've been watching this most recent season of Kardashian, you know, she's a really special type of person.

Perhaps he, you know, he found love in an unexpected place.

She seems incredible.

Fantastic.

Not saying anything bad about her.

I am saying that if he was looking, if he's like so financially secure, set, great, looking to settle down, wants no fame, he's probably not seeking her out.

I just don't choose to believe you because I see the businessman, Bo, in a different light than you do.

And you are being negative.

So

that's on you.

Cool.

Yeah, I don't like this.

I love it.

Like, I'm so pleased for Chloe, especially after watching this most recent season.

And you see how, like, she shows up for every single person in her family, like 100% supportive, does everything to lift them up, lift them up.

Meanwhile, her personal life is going down the drain.

It's like every morning she's getting a call.

Tristan had a baby with someone else.

Like, it's someone like that deserves unconditional love.

And I'm not saying that this is going to be it, but I'm glad that she's getting back out there and that she's changing the type of guy she's going after.

That's all I'll say.

How about that?

That's fine.

Okay.

Fair.

Great.

I'm glad we agree.

Cool.

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Yeah.

Are you ready for our tragic music news?

Yes.

Marcus.

Sorry, no, that's not what it says.

Mumford and Sons, yeah, if you have to cough, just like do it out of the microphone.

Cough's terrible.

Just allergies.

I'm about to take my Zyrtec.

My eyes are itchy.

I need like a Zyzol or a.

Don't be Weisol.

I actually hate.

I hate Zyzol.

I love their mascot.

Don't be Weisall.

Get Zyzol.

That owl is cute.

Amazing.

It's cute.

But who takes Zyzol?

Actually, a lot of people.

No, I mean, it's Claridin or Zyrtec.

100%.

Zyzol might as well be like Dwayne Reed.

So you're saying you're not getting Weizol and you're not taking Zyzol?

I want to meet the Owl.

I don't want their product.

100%.

Okay, Mumford and Sons lead singer, Marcus Mumford, is going solo.

Really?

Yeah.

So

Mumford and Sons.

Do they sing?

Ah, Woo Wing.

They sing so many girls.

Who are you?

I think our voices are good for this now.

Ah, WooWee.

We have like sexy, raspy voices.

Who are you?

They're so good.

I've been like, in college, I was like a big Mumford and Sons girlies, mostly because I thought it would make boys like me, but I actually ended up really liking their music.

And Mumford and Sons might just be Mumford soon.

So sources tell.

Is his name Mr.

Mumford?

Marcus Mumford, yeah.

And I don't think the the other band members are his sons, but

well, that would be a much sadder split.

Of course, Daddy's leaving disowns his sons to go solo.

So sources inside Spotify's Soiree at a French villa.

Sources inside Spotify's Soiree at a French villa on Monday tell Page 6 exclusively that the music's group leader, Marcus Mumford, announced that he will be focusing on his solo career.

He's married to actress Carrie Mulligan, whom he shares two children with.

He made this stunning announcement while performing for an intimate group in the hills of the French Riviera.

He also said he was performing new music for the first time and that it would be available on Spotify as it was a Spotify sponsored event.

Anyways, he just said today is day one for his next thing, the party attendee told page six.

And the rep for Mumford 35 and Spotify did not immediately return page six's request for comment.

And so like, while this is tragic, because I do feel like

Mumford and Sons has been like, They're like a cold play.

Like they're like iconic.

It's a bad call.

Really?

No, well, first of all, they're not a cold play.

Oh.

That's a bad call.

What's a bad call?

There are a lot of bad calls here.

Okay.

The first bad call is by you comparing Mumford and Sons to Cold Play.

I think that they're like a more niche alternative, but I think they're just as popular as

they do crazy concerts.

They're not even close to as popular as Cold Play.

I think you're wrong.

That's one.

I'm not saying they're not as popular as Cold Play, but I think that they could be...

in 10 years a cold play.

I'll tell you why they're not cold play.

Because if Chris Martin said, I'm going on my my own, it would be like when Harry Styles left One Direction and was able to build a career off of his back.

Mr.

Mumford is not building a career off of his back.

I totally disagree.

I think it's so in the Nick Jonas world and that he needs his band.

I disagree.

Okay.

I know what you're saying.

What's Mr.

Mumford's first name?

Marcus.

Did you know that?

Yes.

You knew his name first?

He married Karen Mulligan from Great Gatsby.

I don't even know who Karen Mulligan is.

The only Mulligan I know is in golf.

People don't know Karen Mulligan.

They don't know Mr.

Mumford.

They don't know Carrie.

They don't know Mr.

Mumford.

I'm telling you, you don't, but people do.

Marcus Mumford is famous in his own right.

And while I don't think it would be like the same level of Chris Martin leaving Cold Play, I do think it would be similar if Adam Levine left Maroon 5.

Like he's the only person whose name in

Mumford and Sons, I literally even know.

I know, but people know Adam Levine because of, oh, sorry.

People know Adam Levine because of Is It American Idol or The Boys?

He's on TV.

People know his name.

Mr.

Mumford, I don't, nobody knows who Mr.

Mumford is.

Because Mr.

Mumford is in an indie band.

So, like, they're not being thirsty going on the voice.

That's exactly why he can't have a solo career.

I think you're wrong.

We'll see.

I think it'll, like, I think if I, if, if what I assume is correct in that, like, he writes a lot of the songs, um, I think it, they will remain totally uneffective.

And just, I think because you're clouding, like, your familiarity with Mumford and Sons and Marcus Mumford with, like, the general perception, I think you're wrong.

I think that my general perception,

I know the things that I know because people are of a certain level of fame for me to know about them.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yeah.

He's not in the PR world.

He doesn't have that Q score.

He's not there.

No, I hear what you're saying.

He's not getting these Gillette commercials.

Adam Levine has.

He's an indie artist.

I don't do that.

Adam Levine has Cali Rosa.

He was able to launch his own tequila.

Mr.

Marcus.

Adam Levine is a fucking thirst monster who will literally go to the opening of an envelope to get paid.

And that's exactly

why he could go solo.

Marcus Mumford is one of these like indie artists who like has integrity and like won't do.

My new voice, I sound like Jeff Garland.

We're not okay.

No, I literally, did you hear the way that I said that?

I also want to say why this is not surprising.

And I remember this from like a year ago.

One of the other band members left because like he wanted to be able to like post freely.

He was like getting political or something and like his bandmates like weren't into it.

So he just decided like, I'm out.

I want to be able to like post what I want about politics or whatever.

And it was like kind of a big deal that he left.

So Mumford and Sons hasn't been okay for a while.

That's why I always say I'm not that surprised.

Let me give my final analogy and then you can.

Oh, here, wait, sorry.

While you're wrong, here's Marcus Mumford at the Met Gala, okay?

I've never seen that man in my life.

You're so wrong, guys.

I've never seen him in my life.

And also, Marcus Mumford's hot.

I just wanted to put it out there.

Nobody knows who Mr.

Mumford is.

And what I will say is this analogy is, do you remember when Shaquille O'Neal left the Lakers?

No.

And he went to the Cavaliers and then he went to the Celtics and then he went to the Suns.

And he just wouldn't let his career die.

Oh, I didn't know that, but that's a good idea.

Mr.

Mumford's going solo to a painful death.

Okay, I'm not sure.

You're either Mumford and Sons, or you're Mumford and nuns.

Okay, you know what?

I think another good comparison is, and like, even though we keep going back and forth over comparisons, it would be like if Zach Brown left the Zach Brown band.

It's literally the band named after him, but people

literally only know Zach Brown, and Zach Brown is so successful.

For sure.

And he could go out on his own and do his own thing.

And I think Marcus Mumford is the same.

But you know what?

We'll have to watch this episode in a year and see what happens.

I will say, though, I will say,

to your credit, Mumford and Son's peak was definitely like when I was in college, like a couple years ago.

So I don't know if he's going to be huge, but I think he has a chance.

That's what I'll say.

I think he has no chance.

I think Zach Brown of Zach Brown Band also would have a difficult time without his band being just a solo performer because when you build a band around your name, it's you and the band, right?

No, that's the opposite.

When you build a band around just your your name, nobody knows anyone else except the guy whose name is in the title of the band.

Yeah, but it's also camaraderie.

It's the bus.

It's them having good laughs.

Yeah, the bus.

It's all the bus.

100%.

But Zach Brown, at least I know Zach Brown's name.

I know his first name, Zach.

Because it's the Zach Brown band.

I don't know Mr.

Mumford.

Okay, we'll just have to say, but let us know in the comments.

Marcus.

Doesn't fit.

Doesn't fit what?

He should change his name and go solo.

100%.

All right, a little bit more Kardashian news.

Rob Kardashian and Black China have reached a settlement in in their revenge porn case.

So I don't know if you remember.

I don't know if you remember the Vechina case of like 2000.

No.

I want to say 15 or 16.

They were like going through this messy ass breakup and he literally posted a picture of her vagina on Instagram at like 9 in the morning and it was incredibly shocking.

And we were doing the morning breath at the time.

So we were live.

That's not good.

And literally our phones were blowing up and we look up and we saw a vagina before noon and it was shocking.

That's not good.

So that's revenge porn.

It is illegal and they've been in court for a while now.

But Rob Kardashian and Black China have reached a settlement ahead of their jury selection in their revenge porn case.

A clerk at the LA County Superior Court informed us on Monday morning that the exes had come to an agreement, though the terms remain unclear.

Potential jurors were already lined up outside the courthouse.

Who are all these loose-lipped clerks?

Totally.

Who is it that just like there's just somebody that walks in and it's like, give me all of the private details, and there's this random clerk that just pops out and spills.

It's not private.

Like court documents are public information.

Got it.

That's how TMZ like finds out all this stuff.

Got it.

So potential jurors were lining up outside the courthouse because they were going to be selected for jury duty, but they were dismissed given the last-minute update that they reached a settlement, which is so nice for the people who were selected for jury duty that day.

They got to bounce.

I forgot to tell you.

You know what I found in my bag?

A summons?

For you.

What?

Yeah.

You must have put it in there thinking it was for me.

You have jury duty.

Okay, but why did you just say that on the podcast?

Because, like, now I have to go.

Yeah, you have to.

I hate you.

We need to cut this out.

Sorry.

Because then I could say, because then I could say I never got it, you know?

Yeah, no, it's in my bag.

I hate you.

Sorry.

You're an idiot.

Whatever.

They reached a settlement.

This is finally over.

I hate you more than life.

I have to run a business.

I can't pick up for two days and go to jury duty.

I, whatever.

China and Rob have reached a settlement.

It doesn't say how much the amount is, but Black China just had to pay the Kardashians a ton of money because she lost the lawsuit against them.

So I'm glad she won this one because Homegirl's going to need some money.

Like, she's been paying legal bills.

She's been losing left, right, and center.

She finally won one.

I'm assuming Rob had to pay her because he literally posted a picture of her vagina on the internet.

So that's good.

And I hope she got a nice amount because I think she needs it.

Rob and China, I could like literally write a whole dissertation on how that was the most psychotic time in pop culture.

Like

I can't even like think about it.

It's so crazy.

I never heard about the China.

You didn't?

No.

Well, that's crazy.

How long was it up?

Like a decent amount of time.

It was like, it was so crazy.

I'll never forget the image of her vagina.

It stayed up?

As long as Instagram would allow it.

It stayed up because it's like porn.

How long do you think it stayed up?

I don't know.

A decent amount of time, enough for us to like do a podcast on it.

Wow.

And, you know once something's up on the internet it lives on twitter and reddit forever so it doesn't even matter if it got taken down interesting that i never heard that they're so good at burying press no dash no or i just missed it first of all it was six years ago

i guess wow that's so crazy no not six

four

and it was huge but this was just like one of a thousand things that happened with robin china in the course of like those toxic few months and then she got pregnant so this was just one of many things but i think that maybe like you just weren't paying attention because it wasn't buried.

It was insane.

It was like the biggest thing that happened that year.

Stupid.

So dumb.

Like, how could you be so dumb?

But this is just a lesson to everyone.

Like, don't post a picture of your ex's genitals on social media.

You might get sued because it is illegal.

It's called revenge porn, and it's, it's not okay.

No, it's fucked up.

We have one more fifth and final story.

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All right, fifth and final story is some salad news, like I said, because Jennifer Anniston is responding to the claims that she ate this viral TikTok salad every day on the set of friends.

I saw this.

So this recipe has been going viral on TikTok, and they were like, I'm going to make the salad that Jennifer Anniston ate for 10 years for lunch every day while she was on the set of friends.

And it's like literally not a salad.

It's like a dip.

It's like chickpeas.

I don't even think there was any lettuce.

Chickpeas, quinoa, lentils.

It was like a macaroni salad.

It was so weird.

And people have just been making it.

I don't know where the rumor started that this was the salad she ate every day.

But Jennifer Anniston has addressed the fact that it is not the salad that she was eating.

So it's made up of bulgur wheat or quinoa, diced cucumber, red onion, chickpeas, pistachios, feta cheese, mint, and lemon juice.

It started making the rounds on TikTok early this year with recipe videos racking up over 10 million views.

But

who calls quinoa bulgur wheat?

No, no, it's it's you can either have bulgur wheat or quinoa.

Oh, oh, I don't think they're saying

bulgar wheat.

You would know more than me.

Like I have no idea.

Never heard of that.

So the first salad, it went viral back in 2010 when Courtney Cox revealed that the pair had eaten a Cobb salad together every time they were on set.

But it wasn't a really Cobb salad.

It was a salad that Jennifer doctored up with turkey bacon, gorbanzo beans, whatever.

So now Jennifer Aniston is like doing press.

Um, and she said, well, that salad, dare I debunk that?

That's not the salad I had every day on Friends.

I feel terrible because it's literally taken off like crazy.

And it looks like a delicious salad, by the way, but that's not the one I had on Friends.

I would never have that much chickpea in a salad, to be honest.

Not good for the digestive tract.

So for all these people who spent hours making chickpea salad on TikTok,

I don't know what you were doing with your life, but that's what you get for eating a salad.

Can you imagine being so skinny that you'd say that chickpeas are not good for your digestive tract?

No, literally couldn't be me.

I've never had a chickpeas in my life.

Sorry, I ate too much chickpeas today.

I've never had a chickpeas in my life.

Chickpeas are great.

You've had chickpeas.

Hummus?

I don't really like hummus.

You do sometimes.

No.

A light schmear?

No, like, actually, sorry, I've never had hummus.

You've had hummus.

No, I haven't.

Also, hummus.

I know.

On the podcast, I'm not going to say.

I'm not.

On the podcast, I'm not going to say chumus, but like when I'm with my Jewish friends, I have to say chummus because they're like, hummus?

And then on the podcast, if I'm like chummus, people are like, Claudia, Claudia humus

so podcast is hummus podcast is hummus

friends humus it's not hummus anywhere it's hummus for literally all of America it's humus no because like we are literally authentic Mediterranean Jews we say chumus at a minimum it's a humus no it's hummus no it's definitely not there's a ooh humus

it's either a chumus or a humus it's hummus or chumus it's not a hummus

what's hummus what do you say Hummus, thank you.

The Americanized version is hummus.

What's a hummus?

I'm like so like foreign and like international and like cosmopolitan.

So like hummus.

I love you more than life, but like it's hummus.

Humus.

It's not humus.

Like it's never been humus.

It's not humus.

It's definitely not humus.

But it's hummus.

Yes, to the point I made earlier is I've never had a hummus.

You're missing out.

No, I don't think that I am.

No, it's delicious.

You'd also love it with schnitzel on a pita.

Yeah.

Cool.

Neh.

Cool.

Those are the the fast five stories.

You definitely did not need to know them, except for like maybe the first two.

I'm excited about Lee and Michelle on Funny Girl that may or may not happen.

And if you do want to talk into your microphone, that would be awesome for people listening.

Should I say it again?

Yeah, because you were like literally yawning, pulling backwards.

I said it really loud.

Okay.

I think people heard me.

Okay.

Well, I know how busy you are because you've been, you know, traveling and you have work to do.

So I just want to say I really appreciate you being here.

Thank you, darling.

The toasters love you.

It's always a good day when Buunge is on the toast.

So thank you for making the time for us.

We really appreciate it.

You know, our little show,

it means a lot.

It's a glorious show.

And you've been a great replacement co-host today.

Yeah, it's a terrible name.

So thank you for being here.

Thank you, darling.

Thank you to everyone who, you know, listened.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I hope that it brought you peace.

And that's our show.

Thank you so much for listening.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Test, Melanie Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-by stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places.

So, wherever you listen to podcasts, find out some on your toast and leave a five-star view about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an incredible day.

We will see you tomorrow back in studio with Jackie O, a Claude and Jacks, a Jackson Claude original recipe.

We'll see you then.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.