S5 Ep65: Kardashian Dolce & Gabbana Wedding Extravaganza: Monday, May 23rd, 2022

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Good

morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast and happy Monday.

Hope everybody.

Sorry, everyone, to break the bad news.

Usually it's a happy Thursday, Friday.

No, today's Monday, but you know what?

Tuesday.

Instead of

looking at this in a negative light,

let's look at it in a positive light.

We're coming up.

Show us how, show us the way.

We're coming up on a long weekend.

We are.

So it's not an ordinary week.

This week does have tinges of specialness.

And starting next week, like this is our last week of really...

winter spring because then next week like you can wear white pants joggers we're rolling into summer yeah so enjoy the space that we're in make the most of this last week of spring and you know what monday is a curse.

I agree.

It's also an opportunity.

Ooh.

And I don't think we should forget that.

Rise and grind.

Ah.

And figure your shit out.

Okay, that's your motivational moment from Claudia.

Yeah,

you don't get a lot of them.

You get them one-seventh of the time.

I'm a deeply negative person.

You are.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you said you don't get a lot of Mondays.

And I'm like, you get them as much as you get to.

I do get a lot of motivational moments.

No, you don't, but I'm so glad that you're here on a positive note today.

I mean, if there's ever a time for us to be positive on the show, it is today because, like, this weekend gave us everything we as pop culture enthusiasts, Kardashian stands, could ever want.

Yeah.

It was our cup run is over, honestly.

It was so good.

It was overwhelming.

It was really like a royal wedding of sorts, especially because it was like far in, so it felt like, you know, the time was different.

So it's 12 o'clock.

Why are they getting ready for the wedding?

Oh, because they're sitting.

It was the biggest wedding weekend recap since probably Megan and Harry.

And even still, like, this was so much more.

There were so many more events, so many more like characters to keep track of.

And it was relatively public.

Yeah.

Mostly because the wedding itself was on the edge of a cliff.

So like if you were standing nearby with a camera and you were a paparazzi, like we had full,

like high-quality photos of everyone arriving.

And Alabama was like all over social.

North was on TikTok.

So there was like a lot of content coming out of this event where I thought maybe it would have been more private, but it wasn't.

Because honestly, they couldn't control the kids.

Right, but also I feel feel like Courtney and Travis don't care.

They're like, we're going to be ourselves whether there's cameras or no cameras.

If you want to film us, go ahead.

If you don't, don't.

Yeah, it was pretty cool, actually, like the level of how much they didn't care.

Like, Kylie was TikToking.

There was actually so much content coming out of the wedding.

So much content.

Our cup runneth over.

I didn't turn my TV on once this weekend.

I watched the Kardashian wedding weekend.

And I didn't realize how much as a society, we needed that.

No, same.

I also did watch, I didn't watch a lot of TV either because I was consuming content on my phone, but I did watch High School Musical 3.

So good.

And I think as a society, again, we needed that.

We do need that.

We always need High School Musical.

One, you could skip two and three.

You could skip two for sure.

And all I have to say is, I want the rest of my life to feel just like a

high school music.

Yes.

Speaking of gorgeousness, I'm really missing Bryce and Stride.

I know.

Doing the show without them, like, it really isn't worth, it's like not, it's not an existence worth pursuing.

But I do have to say, like, Friday was a little chaotic.

And I do feel so distracted by them when I'm here.

So while I do miss them, I am ready to get back to the task at hand, especially today.

We have Unburden Ourselves.

It's Monday.

We haven't done that in a while.

We have the Kravis wedding.

We also just have like general news throughout the weekend.

So the fact that they're not here, like, is devastating.

Literally, why are we here?

But don't forget, we have pillow Bryson Streis, which is just as good.

They'll carry us through.

I know, not every day can be Razenstrasm, Razen's Drasm, Razen's Jasm, Razen's Jasm, Razenstrasm, Razenstrasm, Razzinstrasse.

I was trying to think over the weekend, what tune is that?

I was trying to think, too.

Like, did we make that up, or is that like a jingle?

Like,

okay, when we do snitch on the toast.

That's, we've got the fung.

Ba-bum-bum.

Thank you.

What jam is this?

There's no way we made it up.

It might be something like just.

what fucking songs have you guys ever heard that tune it's a common jingle it has to be have you ever heard it yeah yeah is it like a nerd no is it like a nursery rhyme what is it someone will know or it's just something in our heads rads and straps well that's true it is something in our heads so miss them dearly but like we've got a job to do and

and I'd be remiss I would be devastated I would even yeah yeah I would I would be heartbroken if I didn't let you guys know that right after today's show we are recording an interview with probably the most

prestigious guest we've ever had on the show.

Probably someone who like we're most excited to have come through those doors.

Yeah, it's going to be, um, it's going to be huge.

I don't want to spoil it, but it'll be on tomorrow's episode.

Maybe if we're like feeling crazy, maybe we'll drop it on YouTube first.

I'm enjoying doing that.

Me too.

Also, subscribe.

Don't forget, youtube.com/slash morning shows.

Make a Gmail, please.

That's going to be sickening.

Also, I just want to update everyone on a little life update from Moi.

Yeah.

I got an aura ring.

Oh, I thought you were going to talk about

my breastfeeding journey.

I'm just like not in the mood.

You guys, I'm at a low right now.

It happens.

You know, I was so high.

Yeah.

Oh, after the lip tie procedure.

Oh, Harold was eating so good.

I was like, breastfeeding.

I could do this forever.

Last night, I was like, I'm done.

No, I'm not done.

I'm experiencing a low.

So just.

That's fine.

I thought that's what you were going to say.

But what were you going to say?

I got an aura ring and I'm really excited about it.

What's like your sleep grade?

So two nights ago I got, which is crazy.

I was not going to get one because I was like, my sleep is trash.

and why would I get one now?

But two nights ago, I actually got good sleep because I went to sleep right when Harold did at like eight o'clock.

So my sleep was like at a 97 because I did a lot of long, like I just long stretches.

Yeah.

And then last night was like in the 80s, but I like it because it's a wearable.

So it's also tracking my steps.

Like my Apple Watch, my, I'm sorry, I don't have an Apple Watch.

My health app yesterday like says I walked a thousand steps because like I went on the treadmill and I like, you know, was doing all these things around my house that like it doesn't count treadmill steps unless I was holding my phone the whole time.

No, right.

I was like doing chores and stuff, but my aura ring, I had 10,000 steps yesterday.

Got it.

So I'm glad that it's going to be tracking my steps, my sleep, and just help.

And now it's like gamified for me.

So now I want to get more steps.

So I'm going to work out more.

You have to sleep with it, of course, right?

To get the sleep tracking.

Like, I can't sleep in jewelry either.

Claudia, I don't wear any jewelry.

I don't wear rings.

It's so comfortable.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's fine to wear.

That would be like the hardest part for me.

no it's really such a cool little gadget and i'm looking forward to you know bettering myself with it bettering yourself is i mean i've never done it but i hear it's amazing it can feel great yeah i'm mostly interested in it just like tracking my activity that'll keep me accountable you know because now it's like i want to have a better day than yesterday which means i have to get my fucking ass up and get to the gym do you have a um a name for your aura ring jackie aura oh that's good i was gonna suggest if it's keeping you accountable teddy melan cam oh also good Maybe, like, if you got one, you could call it that.

If I put one on, it would start sparking.

Like, oh, no, system overload, glitch.

What is this?

Too much coolness.

Not too much coolness.

Too much unhealthy behaviors.

Cannot track data.

You know what I was thinking about, though?

Like, I'm sure back in the day, they were like, I wish I could know how many steps I did in a day.

And now, like, you have all these things that could track them.

I feel like in the future, you'll have a wearable that can track how many calories you ingested.

Yeah, I feel like that's not that crazy.

Not that far off.

As opposed to like manually like, you know, keeping track of

it with Noom.

Right.

Like it would have.

Yeah, I feel like that's like not that crazy.

Right?

Yeah.

That's the future.

Or like for me, like something I would find useful because I don't care how many calories I consume.

My blood alcohol levels.

Yeah.

That would be interesting.

That's not that far off.

Like a little breathalyzer ring.

I would buy it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's pretty cool.

Or maybe you don't want to know.

No, sometimes, you know what?

There is some, so much, there is a thing as too much information.

Yeah.

And I do think some of my health data is really none of my own business, you know?

Yeah, it also tracks your heart rate.

So that's how they like know all this shit about you.

Right.

I'll keep you guys posted.

Not too often.

I don't want to bore everyone to tears.

With your aura.

It's like talking about your aura statistics, like talking about your dreams.

Ooh.

I think it might, I think it's like a similar.

No, but it's cooler because like Kim posts about her aura.

Kim has been posting.

Okay, but sorry.

Okay, what the fuck is she posting these mental health videos?

Yeah, no, it makes me think she's like gearing up for some sort of mental health project.

The first one she posted, I was like, oh, she obviously just saw something that resonated with her on TikTok and wanted to share it with her followers.

Maybe she was having a bad mental health day.

And just like wanted to share the positivity.

That's cute.

That's fine.

But now they're coming.

It's the same like style.

Yeah.

And I'm just like, what the fuck?

They're so off-brand.

Yeah.

That makes me think it's like really intentional.

for some like maybe she's gonna be like skim's mental health yeah or like you know how oprah and um prince harry have that like company like i feel like it's gonna be something like that yeah I'm seriously, like, I'm like, what are these?

And like, the sentiment is nice, but, like, seriously, like, what are you doing?

No, I watched the first one in full just to see if there was any hidden messages, and now I tap through.

Yeah, and like, her timing of them is intentional, because obviously everyone's going to look at her Instagram stories this weekend, and it was nothing.

It was just that.

That.

Yeah.

And she didn't post on her feed this weekend because like she's committed to the flow, which I respect, but like, girl, we needed.

I also think post-Paris, she doesn't post in real time anymore.

I know, but like, we all know.

You know where she is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, she, because she wants like her blue and pink feed, and then I'm sure she'll switch it and then post all these looks.

But come on.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice the feed.

Really, sometimes you do.

And that's coming from me.

Like sometimes she would have, you know, broken records of likes with these mooks.

Yes, but also I just want to say like this whole concept of like having a beautiful feed is like kind of outdated.

People don't really do that anymore.

It's different than it was.

Like and now every like the feed, the trend of feeds is more like minimal.

Yeah.

Have you noticed that?

Like some people just post like wall.

Yeah, right.

But like also Gen Z's like attitude towards it is like whatever, post whatever the fuck you want.

That's like there's that sect of Gen Z people that are like, I don't know who they follow, but where it's just like chaos and a picture of sneakers and chamber sneakers.

Yeah, but even her pictures are beautiful.

So like they're not doing that.

But then there's also like the new fashion Instagram is like shoe and palm tree.

Like the next one will just be like purse on floor.

And then like a sickening look, but it's much more minimal.

Whereas like it used to be like every single picture in someone's grid was them in a sickening.

Yeah, yeah, with like the same filter.

Oh, I'm getting a call that I have to take.

Claudia, will you please let us know who today's episode is brought to us by?

Guys, I think it's time because Jackie says it's time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And today's episode, oh my God, I'm so sad Jackie's not here.

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So we have an amazing show for you guys today.

I'm very excited.

It's also Monday, so it's Unburden Yourselves, which, if you're unfamiliar with Unburden Yourselves, is our Monday segment.

Where if you did anything embarrassing over the weekend and you just kind of want to get it off your plate, start fresh on a Monday, write us in, unburden yourselves at gmail.com, and we will read it today.

We have three really unique submissions.

So those will be at the end of the show after the fast five, which we're going to do right now great thank you so much claudia it's a pleasure our first story really our only story kardashians ex Dolce and Gabbana weekend in Pasitano oh and Courtney got married right um but we need to talk about the whole weekend from start to finish all of the looks the synergy

the wedding

Let's start from the beginning.

Let's start from the beginning and just kind of dissecting this partnership.

Yes.

Like, it was clear that this was very much a Dolce and Gabbana like sponsored event.

The, you know, know, the day before the wedding, they had a yacht day with everyone.

That was the Dolce ⁇ Gabbana yacht.

They had it at the Dolce ⁇ Gabbana Castle in Italy.

Everyone's outfits were Dolce ⁇ Gabbana.

So I just wanted to know, like, was the wedding free?

Was this paid?

Like, how does that work?

I don't know how it works.

But based on what I was seeing, what I'm guessing is like Stefano was like.

wanting to host the weekend for Courtney and Travis.

I'm sure they incurred a lot of the costs and they wanted to address the family.

What they received in return was, you know,

a fashion campaign that we have not seen seen in

ever.

Yeah, especially from Dolce Gabbana.

Like, it was, it's literally like the best thing to happen to their brand.

Truly.

And also, they have such a sickening brand that, like, you sometimes forget, they have so many iconic prints and just such a vibe.

And I was trying to think of any other brands that could really do something like this where it was like every look, it just is oozing with their aesthetic.

With their aesthetic, like maybe Versace, you know, but so this was just beyond amazing.

Yeah.

And to see the girls, because they're always dressing very interestingly, you know, very

runway, very futuristic.

Like, I'm not gonna get it for five years, but just to see them in like these gorgeous, feminine looks, and then they have like the glam teams that are able to like completely match the aesthetic.

It's like it was art, it was art, and it was literally like I loved the whole vibe.

How everyone, a lot of people were like, there was no cohesion throughout the looks, and I agree, but I do think they were all on theme.

And I think the theme was like Roman Catholic, um,

yeah, like deep red, red velvet, gold, like elegance.

So even though like, because I was looking at Travis's daughters at the wedding and they both wore like the same different dresses, but like the same material and like same vibe.

And I was like, oh, that's so cute.

It's like very bridesmaidy.

And like while the Kardashian side didn't have that, I did feel like at least they were all really truly in theme.

Gothic, big oversized crosses, lace.

There was a cohesion there, but you had to really look at like squint.

No, like the first night, I liked some of the individual looks and together I was like,

maybe not.

But then as the weekend progressed, now when I look at the whole weekend, I'm like, oh, they're cohesive.

Now, of all the girlies, who would you say is your best dress?

Because mine was quite shocking, actually.

It's so hard for me because there really wasn't a flop.

There were some looks that weren't my favorite, but there was not a flop in the mix.

And

I think there was one flop, actually.

One floppy look.

Yeah.

What would you say?

I think it was the first night, Kim, which is like shocking.

The gray outfit?

Yeah.

Oh my God, you know what?

That was my least favorite look also.

First of all, it looked like she, like, that's something she wears literally to go to get a salad.

Yep.

And it was not in theme at all.

She, I would never have known she was in Italy.

Yep.

No, I totally agree.

That was my least favorite look.

It made no sense.

I actually felt like she wore it on the airplane, and then like, I didn't realize she sat in glam for that.

Or maybe she was like resisting falling into DNG because she's very intentional with like

what she does.

And then maybe she saw like everyone else look sickening and like they had these looks picked out for her and she's like, fuck it, I'm gonna go all in.

And I'm so glad that she did.

The look of her in like the gray corset and the bootleg pants and the ice cream.

Stunning.

sickening okay my i had a lot of favorites i thought chloe looked incredible me too she was my best dress with kendall a very close second kendall was stunning but as we say all the time it's so hard but there was actually one look the one that she wore on the boat day where the matching set the matching set where she looked better than the girl who wore it on the runway years ago right so like with kendall it's like not even fair because she's literally a model and these she was wearing samples from runway in 1997 like of course she literally like she can't flop that's why she can't flop that's why i gave Chloe my best dress because Chloe's more, in my opinion, like one of us, you know, like regular girl.

And also up there is Miss Chris, who has been just absolutely killing it.

I don't know what has happened to her in the last couple months, like fashion-wise, but everything, and we should have known because like the theme is so Chris.

It's like opulence, Christian, Catholicism, sorry, Chris.

Chris.

Like it was so, the theme was literally Chris's ideal theme.

So she killed it with big calftans, the feathers, the leopard, like that's so Chris.

Yeah, I loved Kylie's looks too, especially being, you know, a postpartum mama.

She looked so gorgeous.

The floral dress that she wore on the boat day with the red lipstick, stunning.

Chef's kiss, like it doesn't, from head to toe, perfection.

Her wedding dress, stunning.

Her wedding, wait, I'm just trying to.

It was like a floral.

Again, yeah, same cut, gorgeousness.

The DNG black mini dress with the moto boots and the matching purse wasn't my favorite.

Not my favorite.

The dress itself is an LBD.

So cute.

So fine.

The boots in the bag were not my favorite.

But then the next night with the jewels, sickening.

No, like

there were so many looks, and it was really like they were all working just over time.

Now, by the way, let's talk about the bride.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, no, I'm not done.

Oh, okay.

Chloe's thigh highs and the brown dress on the boat, sickening.

Chloe's leopard corseted, like tight ass.

That is like D, that is the theme in a dress.

Yeah, with the big oversized cross earrings.

Kim wore the big cross to the wedding.

I loved that.

Yeah.

And a lot of people, a lot of the discourse online was like, oh, they're suddenly religious.

No, bitch, if you've been following for a while, you know they're actually deeply spiritual.

Maybe not like super religious, but they pray all the time.

They're very, like, they're into religion.

They are into religion.

Their favorite word is Bible.

Literally.

That had to have come from somewhere.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, because they respect the Bible.

So if you're going to say Bible, it means that it's true.

It means true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I didn't think that like them being like so Catholic, I think,

was surprising, but a lot of people were like, oh, this is disrespectful to do it for fashion.

Like, no, they are.

Chris Jenner is like co-founder of some church.

Like, they are religious people.

They are.

Sunday service, they go everywhere.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

So, like, none of that was shocking.

I think we can get it off the internet because you see all these crazy takes that it would never even occur to me.

And we can just otherwise.

I think it's important.

I think it's important to know what

fucking nuts to some people are.

Okay, fine.

Like, that gets backlash.

A Christian person wearing cross earrings.

And I'm sorry, I keep going between Christian and Catholic.

I don't know.

Okay, so Christian, it is an umbrella term.

I know what it is, but I don't know which the Kardashians are.

They're Catholic.

I think they're Christian, but it was very, there were a lot of like Catholic elements in the ceremony because it's Italy.

Right.

And that's part of the vibe.

That's my, that's was my thinking.

So can we talk about Queen?

That's not wrong.

Yes, we can.

Let me just make sure like I'm good on everyone else.

I just thought it was like so amazing to see them all dressed in this way and like such a vibe.

It was so

does anyone is anyone else like so fucking excited by this?

Yeah, no, it was overwhelming.

It was overwhelming.

Then the bride looks.

So I really feel like I don't like to

say negative things about a bride's look.

Like I really don't.

Are you going to talk about her wedding look or the leader?

All of them.

Okay.

Because they were all really the same.

She wore the same thing to the wedding the night before.

She wore it in black.

Yeah.

And then she wore like the red number the day before.

So I don't, I really don't believe in like critiquing a bride's look.

I really don't.

So what I will say is that none of them were my cup of tea.

Okay.

You, do you just not like the length, really?

Well, by the way, I knew we knew she was going to do something different, and a lot of people thought she was going to wear like a black dress because it was, you know, yesterday was National National Goth Day.

So like

of all the, she wanted to be edgy.

And so to do a mini dress, I totally understood.

Also, it's the summer in Italy.

It must have been hot.

Whatever.

That particular dress was not,

in my opinion,

cute.

Okay.

It was undergarments.

Yeah.

No, I liked it for her.

And clearly she like loves this.

cut recently.

So she got to like be herself and feel like herself.

And in all the videos and pictures, it's just like another night out with Travis and Courtney.

And I I loved her veil, and she just like totally leaned into the aesthetic, DNG, all of it.

And I thought she looked very happy and very great.

Yeah.

So of all the looks, I would say hers were probably the least impressive to me.

Yeah.

But I agree, the veil was such a moment.

And Alabama Barker, that photo that literally broke the internet from Alabama's Instagram story, gorgeous.

Like, so, and the cool thing was that it was literally on the side of a cliff.

So a lot of the paparazzi photos we got, we haven't seen any official wedding photos, like just the paparazzi pictures.

You see an aerial view, it's literally, it was so sick.

It was like this enclave of this cliff, like,

and from a aerial view, it was just all covered in red velvet, red roses, and you could see like the gold accents.

The wedding itself, I don't know if it was a Mindy Weiss.

I don't think it was.

It was spectacular.

It was like really DNG.

Yeah, literally, like the candles, the candelabras, it was so beautiful.

Yeah.

And it really was only like 30 people because you could see in this aerial photo, there's like four benches, and there's like eight people on each.

It was so different, and like, so they're not conventional, even though in a lot of ways their courtship has been very traditional.

They're not gonna be like chew galicious definition, like, they're just not gonna be that.

And so, it was very much their own wedding, and it was sick, like no, the decor.

It really was, and I really can't think of like a more iconic, glamorous

scene or anything.

Like, honestly, it was giving even more than like kimye

the thing is why kimye in my book is always gonna be a little bit of a higher level was because it was so private like we'll really never know what the inside of that wedding looks like which in my mind makes it so much it could have been literally a basement but we'll never know like the gl the the mystery makes it so glamorous that is true But just maybe because we got so much from this one and everything we got was just like firing in all cylinders and how it was so thematic and the girls were on theme.

And also to get the whole family together to to have a family weekend.

Some kids were there, some kids weren't there, but also you get to like see how much they've grown.

Like North was styling herself.

Yes.

And it was just,

like, they just gave us so much.

I just want to say thank you.

I do want to say thank you.

And I also want to say, like, I think the way that Courtney and Travis's families have blended is so nice.

Like, you can tell Alabama is obsessed with Courtney.

Like, she just, I think she's so excited that like, her family, like she's always been this daughter of a famous person, but not at the level that it is now.

And I think she's like, you know, she's kind of an influencer.

So she's very excited by all of this.

And she knows like it's all because of Courtney and her family.

So I love like, you could tell on the show and then also at the wedding, like everyone was so happy.

And I think they're blended families.

It's really so nice.

Yeah.

Also, the whole, in all the stories, it was like Mr.

and Mrs.

Barker.

And I just was like thinking, Shanna, meet the Barkers.

Oh, did they have a show?

Yeah.

Oh, that's so painful.

Imagine if they were like, meet the Barkers.

No, I know.

And also when they, like at the reception, they put on these leather jackets that said the Barkers on the back yeah I mean that's that's who they are now speaking of it there was conflicting reports as to whether or not Scott was there he was not there okay because there were no photos of him but like there were reports that he was there there was also reports that Beyonce was there well she was just in Italy at the same hotel that a lot of the guests are staying at well so was Kiara Frogni she was in Positano and I was like and Fides was with one of the drummers yeah um and I was like is Kiara going to the wedding but I don't think she was but she just chose a funny weekend to be in Pasitano yeah because there weren't that many people and I was watching the looking at the daily mail like people arriving photos, and it was really just like Kardashian inner circle, noticeably absent food god.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Maybe he's not that close with Courtney.

Courtney.

Yeah.

The boats that they all like took up to the cliff, like 007, like James Bond.

It was everything.

It was really an elegant affair.

And I just loved like the calm nature, like the relaxed nature of like the photos.

Like it wasn't like this big reveal, no photos until Vogue gets it.

Like it was just so, I don't know, because it's like they're just so happy.

They don't, it was just, it was so cool.

It was so cool.

And all the girls were like posting to Instagram pretty much in real time, like, showing us the looks, the accessories,

the food, that pasta station.

Food.

The pasta you got.

Another great resource is, of course, Simon Huck.

I got a lot of premium behind-the-scenes content.

Yeah.

Gorgeous food.

And I'm so glad people were highlighting the food because I feel like food at those types of affairs just like

it doesn't get its moment.

Yeah, but like Italy, food.

Food, delicious.

No, like some of my favorite photos, and I am looking forward to getting like actual wedding photos.

Um, the aerial coverage of that wedding from above, like you never saw something so stunning in your whole life.

Yeah, really premium decor at that ceremony.

You know what it felt like the way it's supposed to feel like?

The Met Gala.

Yeah.

Just the one, because there was a theme, and it's like, okay, are you on theme?

Are you not on stream?

And everyone rolling up, seeing how everyone interpreted the theme.

Like, even when Chloe was wearing the headpiece that she wore to the wedding.

oh i'm sorry i totally forgot about the crown obsessed obsessed so d and g so roman catholic oh my god chloe i'm telling you she fucking killed it yeah and a lot of people were like why isn't true there true was with her dad like stormy was there so a lot of people were like well why is true not there stormy's not there but none of kids uh kim's younger kids came and i feel like it was just like you know like it's a tiny wedding chloe wants to get lit and like True has a dad, like he can watch her.

And I thought it was perfect.

I love that for Chloe.

No, and I like how it was, it wasn't, didn't have to be all or nothing.

It's like, which kids can come, want to come.

Normalize, don't have prior commitments.

Normalize leaving your kids at home sometimes, honestly.

No, I normalize like taking one kid on a special trip.

North.

Just like, if it wasn't me, I would be quaking.

No, of course, but like

normalized, like sometimes you got to leave the kids at home.

Sorry.

Like, mama's got a drink on a cliff in Portofino.

And it is what it is.

It is what it is.

I think the reason why it was so confusing as to which celebrities were going to show up is because it's just like a hot time in Italy right now.

Like, it's the end of May, very expensive place.

So a lot of celebrities go there.

But the celebrities that were there, MGK and Megan Kelly, I can't say their names.

Miga and Kelly,

1989, Blink 182 members.

Of course.

And like, that's like literally it.

Yeah.

That is it.

Yeah.

Because it was small.

No, and that's like even more cool, you know?

Where was Addison?

I'm feeling really sad and weird.

I'm not feeling sad or weird.

I do feel like, first of all, a lot of people, a lot of friendships in life just fizzle.

I agree.

So I think people are like, what was there, a big break?

I don't know.

I don't think there was.

I think, like, it was a moment for Courtney, but like

Courtney kind of replaced Addison with Trav.

Yeah.

But Addison was there for her.

No, I know.

And I don't think that they're not friends anymore.

I think they're fine.

But like, not enough to invite her to a 30-person wedding.

But a year ago, she would have been there.

She was Courtney's plus one for everything.

Yeah.

No, that's actually a good point.

I literally forgot about that.

And I just miss them.

Yeah, me too.

And I miss Addison with the family.

Does Courtney still follow Addison?

I was actually going to check that last night, but then I was like, she 100% does because if she didn't, it would be

news.

People love to make up news about people unfollowing other people on social media.

Yeah.

I'm just going to check.

So like for me, she was the only thing that was missing.

No, that's a good point.

I hadn't thought about that until now.

Yeah.

Also, I think North was there because she was serving as like premium content director.

Yeah, her TikTok was amazing.

The TikTok video she put together.

And by the way, when she got like artsy at the end with like the twinkling lights.

Yeah, they can.

Courtney does follow Addison.

Okay, thank God.

Oh, and Kim's wedding change.

The crystal.

Oh my God, that crystal bodysuit was life-changing.

And Kim was dancing a little bit.

I know.

The paparazzi caught her dancing on the first night because they were all just like eating ice cream in like a little Italian village.

And I guess like the Italian nature just like overcame Kim and she did a little jig, which is very not Kim.

You know, she doesn't like to dance.

Even Prince pulled her on stage and she wouldn't dance.

So I say she was like a fine dancer.

Yeah, no, she's cute.

She's such a drama queen about that.

She liked the beat.

Yeah.

She danced on SNL, by the way, in the mom's in the club sketch.

Oh, yeah.

I think she's coming out of her shell.

It's so funny that she like doesn't dance.

No, it's the weirdest thing.

Like, what do you do when you hear a song if you're not going to dance?

Like,

I can do it a party.

Like, I can't stop my toe from tapping.

No, you know.

Like, sometimes a song just

comes over.

You start sin mats.

But I think also we just have like a very musical spirit about us.

Yeah, I mean, obviously, you know, I do because my voice is amazing.

So that's not surprising to anyone.

Yeah, and then me as well because my voice is amazing

on opposite days.

100%.

So all in all, grateful for all the content.

It was a beautiful weekend.

Really, at the end of the day, like a gorgeous wedding.

So happy for the couple.

And I'm not going to lie, like I did go on Farfetch and look at Dol Changabana and what they're selling right now.

So it was definitely, I was influenced.

It's a good

marketing moment for DNG.

Yeah, I don't know of a better one that i've seen recently in recent history yeah me neither like it's even it's better than like what kim was doing for balenciaga beyond like it was beyond so thank you to everyone i'm sorry to everyone who's like upset if we were up their ass too far but this was that was this was

on another level and this is why like they are that bitch and i have to be honest i didn't expect to really care so much about the wedding weekend yeah no me neither especially because i just wasn't expecting to get so much content but again it was like this free-for-all

even like weddings for like lay people have rules they ask like you know don't post a picture of the bride walking down the aisle until she there's like a there's like a photo policy at every wedding no matter to varying degrees so i just thought this this one was a free-for-all yeah it was really good and also who looked really great was travis yes very traditional you know who looked incredible rain rain i knew you were gonna say that the um wedding ceremony the little shorts

best dress the cutest thing i've ever seen in my fucking life in my life in my life best dress it was amazing it was like literally,

it was glorious.

That's really all I can say.

Glorious.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, thank you to everyone who participated.

And I would like to know more about like any financial transactions between DNG and the family.

But even if we never find out, that's fine too.

Yeah.

It was, it was amazing.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Like, I guess.

Even though everything pales in comparison.

It's Kardashian and Jason because SNL said goodbye to Kate McKinnon, Pete Davidson, Adie Bryan, and Kyle Mooney on Saturday Night Live this weekend.

Everyone's really talking about like Pete Davidson's departure just because, like, was he going to go to the wedding?

Was he not?

He was not there.

But Kate McKinnon left as well, and people were very sad about that.

She left as Miss Rafferty, the woman who was abducted by aliens, which is one of our favorite sketches.

I watched it, the episode.

It was, it was horrible.

Oh, it was really, really atrocious.

And I think some of like the moments where I was like, uh-huh,

were with AD, Kate McKinnon, Kyle Mooney and Pete Davidson so I mean

Keenan is literally like the piece of scotch tape holding this show together um and I'm sure I mean I don't think he wants to leave like I think he loves what he's doing he would do it for the rest of his life so he must be and I hope he is being compensated handsomely for his backbreaking work

It was, it was just, it was so bad.

And I thought it was so funny.

I would never have known that from all the like highlights.

Oopla.

Ooplah.

You know, they all got their own departure.

I thought it was really.

Kate McKinnon's was lovely.

It was in like the opening scene, and they did that sketch,

which was funny one time.

It was funny one time when they did it with Ryan Gosling.

I think that will go down in history as one of Kate McKinnon's best moments.

Her and Ryan Gosling, like they can't breathe.

It was so funny.

And then they just kept trying to recreate the magic.

And like, is this the alien one?

Yeah.

I think it was now the third time they've done it, make it like a recurring thing.

And I just don't think it was that.

I think it was like a a really funny moment once okay i only saw the really funny moment once i never saw the other ones so then like the the sketch was like well the aliens need one of you to go live with them forever and so kate mckinnon like does this goodbye to earth it's like a goodbye to snl it was really sweet um she got a moment Pete Davidson got like a whole monologue on weekend update.

Adie Bryant got like a nod.

It was, they gave her like roses, but like it wasn't like she didn't get to say her piece.

And Kyle Moon, and none for Kyle Mooney.

Like literally, Kyle Mooney I don't even think it was in the episode like it was crazy I did skip one sketch at the end so like maybe it was in there um it was just like I thought it was really interesting like how Pete who let's be honest like has

contributed very little to SNL and he would say he said that in his monologue he's like you know, when I got here, nobody knew what race I was, but now they know I'm a white guy because I literally got so famous and I'm never here.

Like I do nothing.

Like he's really given us nothing on SNL.

He's given us a lot in pop culture, but nothing on SNL.

And he got like a whole monologue.

Like he got to talk to the camera, say thank you to Lorne.

And it was like so weird.

It's like Adie Bryant, who literally is like a queen.

Like she got like nothing.

Yeah.

That's so interesting.

Why do you think Pete's leaving?

I don't know.

I mean, I can't imagine it'll affect his day-to-day that much because like I said, he was never there.

It was like holding him back.

He didn't get to go to Del Chiang about an Ultimota wedding.

Yeah.

So I think moving forward, he's going to be like acting, of course, doing stand-up.

And just like, he doesn't need SNL.

He hasn't needed SNL for a while.

SNL has needed him.

And SNL really like

every year people leave.

It's like, oh, it's not going to be the same.

But like four major, major, like long-time castmates leaving, like, that's, it's a huge blow.

Yeah.

And when I think of who's left, it's Keenan.

It's

Chloe Feynman.

And it's, I don't know why I can only think of his Instagram name, Faye Dunaway, but what's his name in life?

Mikey Day.

No, sorry, Bo and Yang.

I literally can only think of his Instagram.

I don't know.

I don't know where SNL goes from here, especially when like it's this was like, aside from Kim, this was like really like not a memorable season.

Yeah.

I mean, none of them really are.

Sorry.

When they go through, they keep going down.

Like, it's, they just keep going, though.

Like, nothing is going to stop.

No terrible episode is going to stop them.

No horrible ratings are going to stop them.

How many people watch SNL?

I think probably like, like, I'm just gonna guess, like 4 million.

But I think Kim said in her monologue, 10 million.

Remember, she was like...

I'm sure 10 million watched her episode.

Yeah.

It's just, I don't know.

It's definitely not going to be the same without these people.

And I would, now it makes it interesting to see who they bring on, who gets promoted from like the junior cast to like big, big leagues.

Like,

it's.

Yeah, like when Kate, I think a lot of people knew when Kate McKinnon, like the day eventually came, there's been like rumors about her leaving forever, and there's never been a rumor about Keenan.

Like, everyone knows he's staying.

So, I think when

the day finally came that she was going to leave, like, it actually would make a rather large impact.

Yeah, I think so, too.

Because her and Keenan literally put the shell on their backs for 500 years.

Yeah.

So, we'll just be interested to see who gets cast and what happens next season.

Yeah, and what Pete does from here.

I'm really sorry, only interested in Pete.

And, like, I do feel like he left because it was taking time away from him being in LA with Kim and the kids.

Yeah, I actually wouldn't be surprised if, like, in a couple years, he goes back.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know if people go back to SNL.

I don't think so.

It's a step.

It's a step.

It's a huge one.

Yeah.

That's why I.

And it's a launching pad, but you don't go back.

Yeah.

And that's why I do feel like people like Keenan and Kate McKinnon have stayed a little too long.

Unless you want to be an SNLer for life, which is super fun.

I think that's what Keenan wants.

Yeah, and I feel like if you like living in New York, it's a great job.

He has another show on NBC.

That's a nice.

Oh.

Yeah.

Keenan's sit hanging got canceled.

And maybe it's because NBC didn't do like one single commercial for it.

But that's a nice life.

Yeah.

You know, it's a handsomely.

Yeah.

You enjoy the job.

You enjoy the work.

Maybe you like your coworkers.

And sometimes like, that's good.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's like

don't rock the boat.

Be happy with contentment.

Because some people make the jump and then they fall.

100%.

Normalize.

Some people soar.

Normalize not taking risks and just like being happy and comfortable in life.

And being content.

I agree.

Yeah.

That's a great lesson for today's episode.

100%.

That's really the lesson of Greatest Showman if you watch it with a keen eye.

Like, sometimes enough is enough, and you don't have to like mortgage your house to take Jenny Lind on tour.

And that's just a risky bet when you had it all.

And sometimes, like, if you're thinking about taking another mortgage out on your house for like a business venture, I just really would urge you to just think about it one more time because it's like never a good idea.

When people on Shark Tank say, like, oh, I took another mortgage out on like my grandma's house, and the sharks are always like, oh my God, no business idea is worth that.

I'm sorry.

I know this entrepreneur hustle culture.

It's like, do anything you can, live on the streets.

No, actually, I have children.

No, and like grandma needs a place to live.

Right.

And don't do it to grandma.

Do it for yourself.

Yeah.

But that was the issue with Grady Showman.

Like, if he was just risking on his own risks,

fine.

But he had a wife and kids, and like they were displaced.

Yeah, no, no.

And that's not okay.

And she needs to go to ballet.

100%.

Normalize, just like, you know, doing the bare minimum and being happy.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Only if it's a story that's brought to you by Jenny Kane home.

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our next story is some relationship news Becca Tilly and Haley Kyoko have confirmed their relationship and they are now Instagram official Becca Tilly and her girlfriend Haley Kyoko went Instagram official with a sweet video montage on Friday Becca posted it and said, Hard to say if this is a hard or soft launch, but it is a launch.

The video, I have watched it so many times.

It's like a look at their relationship.

They've been together for four years now, so there is just so much content, really sweet content.

Also, they both have like very fascinating, high lives, like Hailey Kyoko on stage with Taylor Swift.

And so it's all these really big moments that they've shared over the last four years.

There's not a dull moment in the video.

And it is so beautiful to watch.

I'm so excited that they've come out with their relationship.

And I mean, four years is a long time to be with someone.

So this is the real deal.

Yeah.

And so I don't know if it was necessarily like, it wasn't like a secret.

I think a lot of Becca definitely kept it private, but Becca has a podcast and she talks about her partner on the podcast.

And she avoided pronouns, but a lot of people knew who it was.

And she wasn't like hiding from it.

I just think this is her first, obviously, like gay relationship.

And it took her like a long time to get to a place where she was comfortable sharing it publicly.

And what I think is so cool is like how patient Hailey Kyoko was.

Like, because Haley Kyoko's out.

She's been out for a while.

She's kind of like a queer icon um and so I think a lot of people in that place in their life like wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't there yet because it's like traumatic to relive it and a lot of people just don't want to be in relationships with people who are quote unquote like closeted but I think like the way that like Haley was so patient like four years is a long time patient with Becca they had like this full-blown relationship that most people didn't know about and now that it's out and it was in promo with one of Haley's songs which is like such a good song I just I loved everything about this yeah and so the music video for the song the song's called For the Girls, and then the music video is like this whole like Bachelor Mansion night one sort of

reenactment.

So it's all very full circle.

Yeah, and Becca's like the last girl to get out of the limo.

It was so cute.

So it's great promo for the song and also just must be nice to have their relationship out there.

And it seems like they've been having a great time over the last four years.

And it's also nice to like enjoy

something like so private privately.

Agreed.

You know?

Agreed.

Also, I mean, mean, they always say that, like, when people start to date, like, they look alike, but for me, am I the only one who thinks like Becca and Haley are like twins?

I think they like, I don't think they're twins.

They look so alike to me, but I, I,

I see that with all couples.

Like, whenever I'm like get to know a couple and like no, you and Ben are brother and sister.

Right, no, everyone, you guys always say that me and Zach look alike.

Olivia and Shapiro are like literally twins.

So, and even like with my friendships, like I always feel like once a couple's like really meant to be together, I start seeing them as like literal twins.

Yeah, I feel like that's how I feel with Becca and Haley.

Yeah, totally.

I'm so happy for Becca.

Like this is, this is awesome.

This is awesome.

Congrats.

Congrats.

Some more congrats and an oops.

Ellen DeGeneres seemingly revealed the sex of Jennifer Lawrence three-month-old baby.

God, of course, Ellen literally making everything about herself.

Ellen appeared to reveal the sex of Jennifer Lawrence's three-month-old when the actress made her final appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres show.

Ellen said, people don't know this, but I used to live in the house that you live in now when I started the show 20 years ago.

She said to Jennifer over the phone on Monday's episode.

Now I live next door to you, and I'm looking at you living in my house with a brand new baby.

By the way, I do hear you sometimes talking to him.

The finding Dory star noted that Lawrence's conversations with her apparent baby boy are really cute.

So in Ellen's defense, like to know the gender of someone's baby and then like talk about the baby without using pronouns is really hard.

And to remember like who shared what information.

So we know that you're pregnant.

We know that you had your baby, but you didn't tell us the gender of the baby.

It's a lot to keep apart.

So I don't believe there was malintent from Ellen for the first time in her career history.

But like, don't you edit your own show?

Like, cut it out.

Yeah.

Also, this idea, like, we've seen aerial shots of Ellen's homes.

Like, you can hear your neighbors.

Like, she's trying to be like the rest of us.

Like, yeah, I can hear my upstairs neighbor every time they drop a fucking fork on the floor.

100%.

No, the person who lives above my bedroom, like, absolutely has to get a carpet.

They must have a child who drops a ping pong ball 45 times a day.

And I hear hear it, and it's so, it's just like a weird sound.

It's like,

oh, that's

so random.

And I'm like, bitch, get a carpet.

It makes you wonder what your downstairs neighbors hear about you because, like, I don't really have many carpets in my house.

I have carpets.

I have three carpets.

And I'm always moving and grooving.

No, I hear upstairs like when they pull out the dining room chairs.

But the thing is, like, they're doing it at really fucking weird times of the day.

But maybe they work from their or maybe like it's not dining room chair being pulled out and I'm just like hearing something else.

Yes, Yes, maybe it's not a ping pong ball that I'm hearing.

No, but sometimes like they drop something and you can hear it roll.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I doubt that's happening to Ellen.

Agreed, but like I drop stuff all the time and I don't have a lot of rugs.

So like I just wonder what the people beneath me are hearing.

I know.

It can't be that bad or else maybe they would have said something.

No, but you don't say anything.

You just live with it because that's just life.

Also in New York City.

Speaking of Ellen.

So we know you can't fucking hear Jennifer talk to her baby when you're acres away.

100%.

But speaking of Ellen like living in

Jennifer living in Ellen's house, one of my favorite things about like celebrity culture is like there are really only so many like mega mansions in like the areas that celebrities live in that so many celebrities like live in each other's houses.

Like Darit living in J-Lo's old house for like temporarily.

Chloe and Lamar living in Jessica Simpson and Nicholas Shea's old house.

Like I love that.

And I just saw, oh,

Cara Delavine bought a $15 million Tribeca penthouse from Jimmy Fallon.

Yeah.

Like I just, that's like my favorite thing in celebrity culture, like house swap.

Yeah, that is interesting.

Yeah, because there are only so many people who can afford a $15 million penthouse.

And like most of them are probably famous.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Must be nice.

Must be nice.

Anyways, these are new neighbors.

And Jennifer Lawrence had a boy.

Oh, that's cute.

In February.

Jennifer Lawrence.

February 2022 was like a really popping month to give birth.

Yeah, it's you.

It's Kylie.

It's Jay Law.

Who else?

Morgan Stewart.

Oh, do you see Morgan Stewart's birthday alpha?

Of course.

You know, she's just like setting an impossible standard, but we love to see it.

No, not only that, like,

it's just like, it's just not fair.

Like, you know, like, I was born this, and Morgan Stewart was born that.

And I don't know.

I just, I, I, I object.

I really do.

I know, but at least, like, I just love watching people live like such wonderfully fabulous lives.

No, so at least like she's sharing with you.

And like having, like, to be someone who actually, like, knows Morgan Stewart on a personal level, like, she couldn't be nicer, you know?

Like, it's just like, you want to hate her so much.

And, like, we need to find a reason because currently I have none.

No, I love, I, I like, I just love no, I love her,

yeah.

I love the fabulousness, and I'm so happy for her and like not at all jealous.

Yeah, no, and she like she had this two, this huge party, she had two babies in two years.

Like, she deserves to be part of her.

She deserves a big ass party, yeah, yeah.

I think that's what she was thinking, too.

Yeah,

now are you ready for our fifth and final story?

No, she's not.

Now she is.

It's the final story,

Our fifth and final story, Doja Cat has canceled her festival appearances and dropped out of tour due to tonsil surgery.

Doja Cat announced Friday that she's going under the knife for routine tonsil surgery affecting several upcoming performances.

She said, hey guys, I wanted you to hear from me first.

Unfortunately, I have to have surgery on my tonsils ASAP.

The surgery is routine, but the recovery is going to take a while due to the swelling.

That means I have to cancel my festival run this summer as well as the weekend tour.

I feel horrible about this, but I can't wait to heal and get back to making music and create an experience for y'all.

So she's been really open about this.

You know why she

has an abscess on her tonsil from vaping?

Yeah, no, and like she was having some issues and instead of like you know listening to her body and resting she was drinking vaping and at the bbmas right and so um

this is you know a huge loss for every person who was planning on going to a concert this summer because if i've learned anything from being on the concert side of tick tock it's that literally nobody performs quite like joja cat wow she she is that bitch like i can't she's dancing she's dancing at 100 she's singing at 100 she's giving it all at 100 she's someone who like i didn't really know until i was like watching award shows and i was like oh wow this girl's got it going on.

And she's that girl who it's like, okay, have I ever sat down on Spotify and pressed play Doja Cat?

No.

Do I know every song?

No, every song?

It's because her songs are so ingrained in pop culture, especially on TikTok.

Yeah.

Woman, woman, woman, woman.

Like she is literally

the soundtrack of the last year.

No, literally, I've never played Doja Cat on Spotify.

I know all the hits.

It's crazy.

And I don't even like listen to the radio.

No, it's really from TikTok.

Yeah, and Reels.

And also Instagram stories.

And also the one like Get Into It Ya.

Get into a ya.

That one, yeah.

Why didn't you say it like I did?

Because I don't think that was right, but I wasn't going to call you out.

I just want to buy.

Get into a ya.

Yep, thank you.

That's better.

That's not what you said the first time.

No, she says it differently, like in different parts of the song.

You obviously just like.

Well, no, the clip that people use her, their Instagram stories.

Oh, it's short.

And that's all you know.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Wishing Doja the best.

Wishing Doja the best, a speedy recovery, Rafu Ashlema.

Rafua Shlema.

And we have three girlies who wrote in today who might also need some well wishes.

So if you could welcome me, if you could join me in welcoming the unburdened segment, that would be great.

Welcome to the Unburden Yourself segment, where you guys tell us the cringe things you did this weekend, and we help you release those burdens into the ether.

I've read criticisms that we're too judgy on unburdening yourselves, but that's part of the unburdening process.

You have to acknowledge how bad it is.

We need to process it.

We can't can't just let it go.

No, and what?

We should be ignorant and make you think like what you did was nothing.

No, no.

We have to be, we have to acknowledge how cringy what you did is in order for us to truly be able to let it go.

And if you keep reading podcast reviews, I'm quitting.

I think it was like a YouTube comment.

And we need to process.

It's part of the process.

You obviously don't know.

You don't host the segment.

You don't know.

You don't know how to unburden it.

Speaking of YouTube comments, subscribe.

All right.

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And you have to use that link if you want to make the donation.

All right, ready?

Mm-hmm.

Dear Claudia and Jackie, first of all, love you guys, love the toast.

It's an integral part of my day.

So on Thursday night, I went out with my friends for a little pre-graduation festivities.

And while I was getting ready, I discovered a mole on my back that I've never felt before.

Being the hypochondriac that I am, I made a reminder in my phone to remind me Friday at 9 a.m.

to call my dermatologist and make an appointment.

Good for you.

I labeled the reminder, tell Dr.

Potter about my mole.

Fast forward to Friday morning.

There's a boy in my bed that I've been casually hooking up with this semester.

Let's call him Jimmy.

Jimmy and I are scrolling through TikToks on my phone when the lovely reminder saying, tell Dr.

Potter about my mole pops open on my screen.

I immediately lock my screen and the room is completely silent.

We didn't talk about what he just read on my phone, but it was certainly the elephant in the room.

I know it's not a big deal.

And if anything, we love a health-conscious girly.

We do.

But now when I think of Jimmy, I cannot but think that he perceives me as the girl, as the girl with a big fat mole on her back.

Anyway, I probably won't see him again since we're all moving away after we graduate, but I thought I should share this unfortunate story and unburden myself.

Love you guys.

Sincerely, an embarrassado toaster.

I understand the embarrassado, Mint, but when you zoom out of the situation, like you're just being conscious about your health, like that's so proactive in you.

And you know, girls who are pro who are conscious of their health and proactive of their health, you know what they make?

Great wives.

Right.

So I think the pride in this situation should outweigh any shame.

Sure, inopportune time for Jimmy, who you just met, to see this on your phone, but you know what?

Like, you're doing something right in general.

But you know what's funny?

What makes this funny is like, if she had had a notification that was like, remind her to tell Dr.

Potter about rash, it would have been like way like there's something rash isn't great but there's something about a mole that is inherently embarrassing yeah and i don't know if it's like because it looks like duty like i don't know what it is about the mole that people like i i have had moles i've actually had three moles removed like they were the bane of my existence i used to photoshop them out in photos there is something deeply shameful about moles and i think that's what makes this situation probably the worst medical thing she could have had breaking Even though, like, a rash, it could be contagious.

Like, that would be worse.

No, and it could be, you have a rash because you're dirty.

Like, rashes should be more embarrassing.

No.

And I think it's also the word mole that makes it like even more gross.

Like, if you had said beauty mark, it would have been different.

Freckle, beauty spot.

Like, I don't know.

But there's something about the word and the look of a mole that I don't know why.

It must be some like deep psychological thing, but there's something horrifying about it.

Yes, but we need to destigmatize.

destigmatize.

A hundred versus, you know, and I think this is a really great start.

And you are taking care of your body, of your health.

And I think you should only feel pride.

But I understand.

And we should all be checking our moles all the time.

This is a great message for everyone.

Sorry, checking our beauty marks.

Freckles.

Freckles.

Yeah, like, and you know what?

Of all the people that it could have happened in front of, at least it was happening as like some guy you were fucking in college who like you're obviously not in love with right next graduation weekend.

Right.

Like shout out to Dr.

Potter.

Yeah, you know what?

Dr.

Potter sounds like a nice guy.

Is Is he single?

Wow, you just assumed he was a...

Oh,

I did.

Internalized misogyny.

Literally.

And you know what?

My favorite, literally, my absolute favorite party trick is this riddle.

Please, I know it.

Okay, I'm going to say the riddle.

Do you know this riddle?

Okay, I'm going to tell you the riddle.

And you tell me if you have an answer, okay?

A man and his son are driving in the car and they get into a terrible accident.

Terrible accident.

The father dies immediately and the boy is taken in an ambulance to the hospital.

Putting him on the table for surgery, the doctor comes in, he looks over at this patient, this boy, and he says, this boy is my son.

How is that possible?

Okay, so she did.

And by the way, you said he looks over.

The doctor comes in and he looks over.

Oh.

Yeah, you have to be over.

Also, I think I spoiled it.

And of course you spoiled it.

Yeah, because we were talking about.

Yeah.

I know.

I didn't want to interrupt you because you were like, no, as I was saying the red loud singing, I'm like, well, she's going to know because I literally just said, but I just want to say, in my like intro to media class, somebody, the teacher said that in the first day, and like all these, like, you know,

it was all like women in my class, and they're like, you know, hardcore, like real feminist.

Not one person.

The dad came back to life.

No, it's a ghost.

No.

So people are like, oh, oh, he has two dads.

And it's like, no, keep guessing.

The spirit spirit of the dad came back.

People always say that.

Or people are like, oh, the dad didn't die.

Yeah,

the cadaver of the dad.

Like,

so, okay, I guess I've ruined the poem.

That is my favorite poem.

You tried to do something.

Yeah.

And that's important too.

And you know what?

This girl, you have literally narrowly not one thing to worry about.

No.

But please let us know if Dr.

Potter is a man or a woman.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hi, Jackson Claude.

This incident has been haunting me, and I finally decided maybe unburden yourselves is my way out.

I have a girlfriend that is a consistent one-upper.

Any story I tell her, a place I travel, she's been there or she's done something better.

A few weeks ago, she was in Vegas and texted me that she discovered this amazing and adorable restaurant that would be so cute for her wedding brunch.

It was Siddell's.

So I replied, oh yeah, it's cute.

I've been to their New York location a couple times and I totally dismissed her.

I've actually never been to Siddell's when I've been to New York or Vegas, but I know that there is one there.

And I just felt like making her feel like her discovery was a big nothing burger.

Totally.

I'm not usually so petty or a liar, but I hope this helps me relieve some of my guilt.

I love this for you.

Love, love, normalize lying to make other people feel bad.

To make other people feel small,

especially if their intention was to make you feel small.

No, you shouldn't go around like making other people feel small.

But if this is the person who's constantly making others feel small, normalize pulling something out of your ass.

And also, like, sometimes you make other people feel small, like accidentally.

And like, I'm sorry, that's not on me, like, that's on you.

Yeah.

But if you're intentionally trying to make people feel small, it is your civic duty to try and make that person feel small.

Also, like, citizens' arrest.

Also, discovering Siddell's, like, girl.

No, and if you like, if you're a one-upper, you have to be like really extremely cosmopolitan, well-traveled.

And a true one-upper would know that, like, the Vegas Siddels is like the big, blown-out kind of commercial version.

And like, the really niche, small, like, West Village one is the one you want to go to.

The original.

And no, but Siddell's is also opening.

There's one in Miami.

Dallas.

There's one in Dallas now.

So they are popping up.

And maybe if you were like, you know, in Dallas and you just heard of this new restaurant opening, you'd be be like, oh, I discovered it.

But then you have to come in and let this girl know, like, you've been in New York, and I really love it for you.

Me too.

And you know what?

I think this girl's like one-upper facade is about to deteriorate because a true one-upper would know that, like, if a restaurant is in Vegas, it's certainly not the first location.

It's a restaurant franchise that got so big that they were able to open in Vegas.

So she's not even really cultured.

Where did Vegas come into the situation here?

A girl was in Vegas and found Sidels, discovered it in Vegas, and was like, I found this great restaurant

for my wedding brunch or whatever.

Got it.

Okay, yeah.

No,

it's okay.

As long as like the person is nefarious, it's okay if you, you know, if you're nefarious back.

Sometimes, and this is like season one, Luann de la Seps.

Sometimes the only way to deal with a one-upper is to one-up them.

Yeah.

No, it's.

Even to the point of like comical, like, that's what they did to Luann Luann used to always, season like one and two, be like, oh, I was in the south of France.

Oh, I went to the south of France once in 1987.

Like, and sometimes the best way to deal with that is like they don't even realize they're doing it.

So you have to be so obvious, like, well, I went to 1985.

Like, you have to really, like, comically, almost satire.

That's the only way people can see themselves.

Yeah, and sometimes they still can't, but it's fun trying to play.

It's fun to play.

Yeah.

All right.

Third and final.

Hello, Jackie and Claudia.

So happy to have you both together again.

And Jackie, congrats on the bed bed.

Thank you so much.

The most humiliating thing known to mankind happened to me.

And if I don't unburden myself, I might just pass away.

I'm trying to get a tan and look somewhat snatched for summer, so I head over to my tanning salon.

I jump into bed, and I'm laying there for about five minutes before my body decides that it's now or never and I'm about to poop.

I jump out of the bed, begin trying to put my clothes on to run to the bathroom, but ultimately it's too late.

I squat over the small trash can in the corner of the room and quite literally take the largest dump I've ever seen.

Now I'm in a full panic because I've just shit in the trash can and there is no way to dispose of it.

So I take the mini trash can, throw it in my purse and leave.

Sorry, wait, I lost my and leave as fast as I can.

Now I think I'm in the clear until later that day my phone starts to ring and it's the tanning salon.

Hello, miss.

It seems one of our trash cans is missing and we looked at the cameras and it happened right after you were here.

In this moment, I metaphorically shit myself again.

So, to say the least, they know it was me, and I can never show my face in this establishment ever again.

You know what I think is more shameful than taking a dump in a garbage can?

It's going to a tanning bed, girl.

Like, it's 2022.

Those UV rays are cancerous.

What is wrong with you?

Seriously.

Get your moles checked.

Right, here we are in one breath talking about the importance of getting your moles checked.

And there's a girl willingly going into a tanning bed.

Yeah.

Girl, get a spray tan.

Okay, I'm really shocked by, by, like,

barring other circumstances, like the no-no virus, maybe a laxative hit you at the wrong time.

Like, is this something that happens where you just, like, have to shit and you can't even make it to the toilet?

You know, it could be a combination of, like, chipotle for lunch.

Like, you don't know what she ate.

It's not, it's not super common, but, like, everyone has moments like that, like, where it just randomly hits you out of nowhere.

Okay, I mean, so you shot, at least it was in the trash, not on the floor.

Yep.

Why didn't you just take the trash back?

Also, they called you because a trash can was missing like that's a little petty no that's like a low budget tanning salon and that's where you're gonna go get into a chemical bed of

this race

by the way they have cameras in the rooms when you're naked yeah i thought that was weird too something's not adding up

um but i think the real shame here is that you go to tanning salons and i think that you shouldn't do that anymore it's like it's like literally the dumbest thing you could do yeah no it's not good when you're so many better alternatives get a spray can i know it's like a little less natural looking but your skin will thank you yeah and so i'm glad you wrote in i know that probably wasn't wasn't the advice that you were looking for um but it's the one you got and it's it's more important yeah and i'm just confused about the whole situation me too also if you guys did something embarrassing over the weekend and you want to write in it's unburden yourselves at gmail.com unburden yourselves at gmail.com that will never get easier to say like i know i'm glad like we have this segment but the name like sucks it's it burden into the back

um well that was our show you want to change the name oh you said the name sucks yeah no i don't want to change the name because i'd I'd like that it was like naturally stemmed from something that happened here on the show.

Like, you literally took a burden from me, and like, it's all very natural how it happened.

Or we could call it like the unburdening,

but then we have to change the email.

Oh, and then you would have to like say the new one.

Just leave it, leave it, leave it.

Okay, okay, we'll leave it.

Unless you can't take it anymore.

Or, you know, I could do the segment.

I would absolutely love that.

I'll do the segment because you're always like coming in from an ad.

You're reading a lot.

But it's nice when you have to read too, because then I can make fun of you when you like stumble and fall when you stumble and fall

even though I don't you don't oh wow oh wow

really really

are you okay are you okay

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Shows the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast fight stories that you need to do.

Every Monday.

Monday, every Monday to Friday,

so if you're watching this podcast, please don't forget to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available, seriously, subscribe.

We're also available as podcasts and our podcasts can be found at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cast Box, all the places.

So, whenever you listen to podcasts, find us, The Morning Toast, and leave a five-star review, okay, about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are and how I don't act differently when I speak to 21-year-olds, okay?

Leave a review.

Have an amazing Monday.

We'll see you tomorrow for our very special episode with our very special guests.

Yes, we will.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

It's bright and shrivels.

It's bright and shrugged.

trucks.

It's price.