S5 Ep61: Feeling Whelmed: Tuesday, May 17th, 2022

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Happy first day back of maternity leave being over.

Welcome back to the show for a permanent amount of time.

It is Jackie.

Oh.

Hi, I'm so excited to be here for a permanent amount of time.

My maternity leave is officially over.

I don't know you guys are like, wait, you've been here.

What's the difference?

Now, like, no more guest co-hosts every other day.

I am back.

I'm here to stay.

Hopefully, you know, things continue to go according to plan.

But, you know, at three months, like the baby really is changed.

On a schedule.

On a schedule.

He's like so busy at this time of day doing Harolds and Tings.

And mama's got to work.

Mama's got to put milk on the table.

Mama's got to put milk in her titties.

Milk in her titties, milk on the table.

And so now, yeah, I'm back.

This was really my plan.

And it went according to plan.

100%.

After one month, I was back one day a week.

After two months, I was back two to three days a week.

After three months, I'm back permanently.

And I just want to say, like, when I made the plan, I didn't know what to expect.

Right.

And at times in the last three months, I was like, how am I ever going to get back to work?

Like, I'm not sleeping.

There's so much going on.

And even though there's still so much going on, things are more manageable.

And at this time during the day, it's actually, Amiva always said this, that that like this is the ideal schedule for working moms working mom because we get to be in the studio for like a few hours and then really work from home the rest of the day yeah so i'm really excited about it i'm excited to be back and just start to

you know get back to normal normal as a mom New normal.

The new normal.

And I'm really here for it.

And also, like, I had the most productive weekend.

Like, I don't think anyone's ever accomplished more in a weekend than I did.

That's the best feeling.

Because not only did I parent,

that's huge.

To Bryce as well.

Don't forget Bryce.

Oh, don't forget Bryce.

Oh, we have our new studio accoutrements.

Thank you to the wonderful toasters who I believed were named Molly and Shannon, or I'm just getting confused with Molly and Shannon, for giving us these lifelike pillows of Bruno and Theo.

Honestly, when we walk into the studio, it's very jarring.

They're extremely lifelike.

They're extremely lifelike.

Even when they're not here, they're with us.

I miss Bryce so much.

She's been extra special, extra good.

So not only did I do that, I am cleaning out my whole life.

I rearranged my kitchen, like everything makes more sense.

Bags and bags of garbage, like just getting rid of stuff.

I did my closets yesterday.

I went to Gavin deGras on Sunday night at City Winery.

It was chef's kiss, an intimate evening with Gavin.

And it was really ideal.

It really was a well-rounded weekend for me.

And I know we're going to talk about your weekend because it was probably...

a little more exciting.

Just a little, but before we do that, to officially commence the maternity leave, I think we need to say a few things.

Oh, wow.

First is, you know, thank you so much for still being here.

You were doing Patreon, you know,

podcasting two weeks after you gave birth.

Like, really, as we said, setting an unrealistic expectation for women.

And we love that.

We really do.

I'd also like to give thanks to everyone who showed up guest hosting with me.

Like, everyone was really gracious with their time.

And I was just, you know, very grateful for everyone, especially Ben and Taylor Strecher, who I relied on a lot.

Heavily.

And, you know, in the coming weeks, Ben has become such a star here.

like if there ever was a day where like you needed to like mom emergency like just know Ben can't wait to get back like he gets so much positive reinforcement and I feel like we found a good balance of like not bickering and like getting you know

negative feedback from people so really major thanks to everyone who showed up showed out gave us their time their energy Shannon I made so many new friends you made so many new friends this was really so great for you I know so like I was really happy for you having a baby and stuff but like for me um you know me and Paige text me and Shannon text like it it was really exciting sophia me and sophia like really excited for my personal life i love that and for me it was great because i got to watch all these episodes like as a lay person as a lay person i love being a lay person that's your like new favorite thing to say i know and it's like what did i say before for the word regular person with probably no particular state

matter i think you probably said regular person okay well i'm a lay person and i loved being a toaster these last few months and you know i it was really great but i am like overcome with joy to have you back.

Obviously, because there's literally nothing better than a Jackson Claude extravaganza.

Two, it's just like very,

it's much more work when it's not you.

It's double the work.

It's double the work.

It's the picking stories.

It's keeping the conversation going.

It's finding times for the ads, helping that person like promote whatever they came on here to promote, like really being funny, juggling a million things.

Yeah.

And so I am.

overcome with excitement that it's over.

But I did have a great time.

Yeah, that's all, that's exactly what you could hope for.

All good things.

All good things.

So.

Oh, by the way, I saw you at the Gavin DeGras concert.

I'm not gonna lie, I watched Margot stories and then I tapped through yours because you guys literally posted the exact same concern.

Well, do you see what I said?

We literally were filming at the exact same time.

So it looked gorgeous.

And you know what?

I feel like the perfect place for you to bounce back into socialization is obviously at a concert, but a concert where you can like sit and eat and drink.

Like how nice.

I never thought about like what a great venue city winery is for a concert.

No, it was really nice.

And so Gavin has a new album coming out.

He has three songs that he's released so far.

But the evening was really him playing the whole album for us explaining the songs the album is really like a love letter to his parents which I knew from his social media but he was like explaining every single song and there's one song called like freedom which is all about his dad's life and like you literally know his life story from the song and it's really like he has these thoughts he writes them down and he sings them like they're it's not about like the beat even though i like the beat he is definitely like the songwriter of a generation he's so fucking good and talented and every time he's in new york like where the Gavin girl is, I mean, go and see him.

He's one of my favorite artists.

So it was perfect to go see him after two plus years of not being at a concert.

Last concert, I went to a Celine Dion in March 2020.

Right.

And you're right.

It was the perfect middle ground, except like he was playing some bops.

And

I wanted to get up and dance.

Cause like once I get, you know, a song in my heart, like, I can't.

be stopped.

No, of course, but it's the perfect transition for you from like never leaving your house for two years.

Right.

It was a really nice night out.

And I was so happy for you.

It was wonderful.

Yeah, I was happy for me as well.

And you got merch.

I know.

Well, I used to, we used to go to so many concerts before COVID, which I love.

Like concerts are

probably my peak serotonin.

Agreed.

And I used to like to get one piece of merch from every concert so I could like remember that I even went and saw Sam.

Totally, totally.

And then I was like, well, I have to get a t-shirt for Gavin.

One, because I hate what I'm wearing.

And two, because I need to remember that I came here and have the memory.

I'll see it in my pajama drawer and and be like, oh, good times.

So, normalize like getting merch at concerts.

No, I literally show up to concerts in a shirt that I can throw away just so I can buy a t-shirt.

And then, like, that's what I wear.

It's like so much pressure taken off.

You don't have to figure out an outfit for a concert because you just wear the merch.

Yeah, I forgot about that, that I used to do that too.

And then I showed up, and Dana had already bought her merch and changed into it.

And I was like, style icon alert.

Literally.

I got the same shirt and we were twinning.

And I literally had, I was just wearing a t-shirt under my cool jacket.

And it was so small and horrific.

I didn't want to take my my jacket off.

It was

so many problems were solved.

So, and Gavin was supported.

And what was it like going to a Gavin deGras concert?

Now, it was a girl who was followed on Instagram by Gavin deGras.

So, it was like really interesting because I didn't want to tag him in all my stories, but I also like wanted him to know that I was supposed to

be right there.

That I'm there, and like I'm a big fan, not too big, and we had a great time, and you did amazing, and here's what you did on stage.

Did he respond to you?

No, I tagged him in one story so that he knew that I was there, and he didn't respond.

Can you see it?

I don't know.

I didn't even look.

I guess I could look now.

Yeah, just see if it's not.

I feel like he's the type of artist who doesn't do his social media because it's like very like.

He's like, you're telling me I have to make a reels now?

Right, right.

Goodbye.

He's too busy focusing on the art.

On the art, you're right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's see if he ever saw.

And do you know what prompted him?

Yeah, he saw it.

Oh,

he left you on read.

That's okay.

That's okay.

He's busy, you know?

No, it's...

It's totally fine.

It's fine.

It's totally fine.

I wouldn't have even known if you didn't make me chat.

I'm so sorry.

I thought for sure he didn't see it.

Like, who wouldn't respond to you?

You're so charismatic and beautiful.

Well, he also saw it yesterday.

My stories might have expired.

So he's like, what did this bitch tag me in?

Oh, well, then that's the worst.

Not to make the situation like worse.

But then it's like, he didn't even know you supported.

You're just like a fan now.

You know?

Obviously, mentioned my story.

Like,

yeah.

Okay, you're making it worse.

Sorry, no, it's totally fun.

It's totally fun.

It's fine.

I was there for the love of the music.

The fact that he follows me is like just a bonus.

You were there for the love of the music.

Yeah.

But I genuinely, like, the music was so good.

I'm so happy for you.

If you have a chance to see Gavin in your city, take yourself out for a night on the town.

If you ask me how I'm doing,

I would say I'm doing just fine.

He really is like a bang machine.

Bang machine.

Banger machine.

And if anybody from Team Gavin is watching, there were two songs I really would have loved to hear if you could just, for the next time,

finest hour, and I have you to thank.

Just.

You never know.

I mean, Kylie Jenner does watch this podcast.

Phillip Phillips.

Like, if it got to Philip, it could get to Gavin.

That's the thing.

We really have to be careful what we say.

Like, in the last couple months, this show has just like blown up to every important person on the planet.

And we really just have to watch our, mind our P's and Q's because we have to stop talking about people because they always hear it.

But the point of the show is talking about people.

I don't know what to do.

And what if I like have a really hot take that needs to be said, but like I know somehow it's going to get to that person?

What do you do?

Do you neutralize the take?

Jackie, that's literally what we were talking about before the show started.

Like we have the hottest take on something going on right now.

No, it's not a hot take.

It's not a hot take.

It's obvious.

We can't even talk about it, you know?

Yeah.

It's so tough being like so popular and famous.

But we do our best.

And you know what?

Sometimes it depends on the take, but like even I would say it to their face, so I will say it on the show.

Yeah, no, and you are the queen of hot takes.

So queen.

I have a few things to tell you.

Oh.

First is that, so I had like the busiest weekend.

On Thursday, I was in Austin for a meet and greet for Spritz at Specs.

It was fabulous.

Dogs came, babies came.

It was just everything.

Were you kissing babies?

I was kissing babies.

This one child child was just like not into me at all.

Were you mutchcuring?

I was mutchkering her, and the dad was like, give her back.

And I was like, nah.

Oh, now you know what it's like to have Claudia as your aunt.

But

do people actually have you kiss their babies?

No, and I'm like, can I hold?

And they're like, are you kidding?

Of course.

I'm like, really?

And I just like play with them until they start crying.

How old would you say these babies are?

The one, I think her name was like...

Evie, like Evelyn or something.

I think we're calling her Evie.

She's so cute name.

And she was so cute.

She was at like a great age too, where like she was like, you know, dexterous, but she couldn't tell me no, you know?

Could she

I don't know.

She was being carried, but she looked like big enough, like, maybe she could take a few steps, you know?

But she couldn't run away from me.

She could have run away.

And she was so cute.

And, like, I try not to, like, you know, obviously kiss him on the cheek, but like, I'm just like the type of person, when I see a baby, like, I am going to kiss it.

And I just think it's inappropriate, especially like in a pandemic.

So I don't kiss people's babies when they bring them to the meeting greets, but just know, like, it's all I want to do.

Like, I can't see a baby's big, delicious cheek without wanting to just munch on it.

Is that crazy?

I don't think that's that crazy.

And, like,

you have, you could ask permission, but I think some people would let you give their baby a kiss on the cheek.

It just feels wrong, and especially when the dad is around and the dad doesn't understand, like, obviously, the power of the toast.

He's just there to like support his wife.

I think he would be like, why is this strange woman?

Why is this woman in the liquor store?

Yeah, why is this random woman in the liquor store like licking my child's cheek?

Yeah, but okay, don't lick.

Keep your tongue to yourself.

But like, if I met Kylie, like, I would let her kiss Tari on the cheek.

Obviously, but that's, that's...

you assuming like I'm Kylie, which is so nice, but I'm not.

I think you are.

Thank you.

So on Thursday I was in Austin and then Friday I flew to LA.

So I had my friend's birthday party this weekend, which is what I went for.

But the night before the birthday party, I went to dinner at Craigs, you know, celeb hotspot.

And I have the most interesting factoid about Craigs, ready?

Sure.

Do you know what they were playing the whole night?

You're never going to guess.

Gavin DeGras.

Little Mix.

I was like, I have to remember this interesting factoid.

It was so crazy.

I'm like, take me to Craigs.

I sit down.

Bury me at Craigs.

I sit down.

You know what they're playing?

Take a sip of my secret potion.

I'm going to make you fall in love.

And the playlist was just like so little mixed after that.

It was Little Mix Radio on Spotify.

I was really surprised because, you know, it's like very highbrow.

I wouldn't expect that from Craig.

And it made me see Craig and his business in a whole new light.

No wonder why it's so popular and everybody's clamoring to get in.

100%.

Bury me at Craigs.

Oh my gosh.

I've actually been to Craigs, even though there are so many like cool fancy restaurants I've never been to because I'm like a big loser.

But I have been to Craigs and...

It's delicious.

It is.

It's really delicious.

Yeah, it's like one of those hot spots where the food is actually better than like the high.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like people are actually going for the food and like that's what made it cool.

It's extremely delicious.

So I had a great weekend.

Nothing crazy.

Just you know, hobnobbing with celebs, LA.

I went to Nobu, Malibu.

Just being in Malibu is like really so beautiful.

You know, when I go to, I, I like, going to LA is fun, but like I'm even more like cemented in my beliefs.

Like I could never live there.

I was just about to ask you.

Obviously, like we're never moving to LA.

It's too far.

It's too like different from, you know, being New York people.

But like when I go to LA I'm like this is paradise oh no when I go to LA I'm like this is not real I could never live here I'm always like I would love to live here but in Malibu I was like oh my god imagine I mean you need like 25 million dollars to like have a nice beachside shack literally 15 million dollars um Malibu is so beautiful and special I could really like see and it's so laid back and like more real like you know more real yeah like it's more I don't know like I don't know what the word I'm looking for is like more down to earth Because it's with nature and the elements.

Yeah, and it's like an hour outside of like Beverly Hills,

like West Hollywood proper.

Yeah, no, like when we're in LA, West Hollywood-ish, I'm not like, oh, I'm clamoring to live here.

No, no, no, no, no.

But like when you get out to the burbs, and then you're eight, and there's like just so much sunlight, and obviously the weather, I obviously would never move there, but I'm like, this must be nice.

Oh, and I'm sorry, the most important part about my trip, on Saturday, I went to lunch at the Beverly Hills Hotel with Brian and a few friends.

And me and Brian are talking.

And you know, whenever I'm out to like any sort of meal in LA, like I'm not even looking at the person I'm with, I'm always looking around, like looking for a celebrity.

And at the Beverly Hills Hotel, like it's a celeb hotspot because you can't take pictures, no paparazzi is allowed there.

And this group walks in and they like stop because there was a dress code, and one of the guys is wearing like a tank top.

And they were like, we need to get you a jacket, sir.

So like their party was like stalled right behind our table.

And I'm like,

oh my God,

it's RuPaul.

And like, of all the people I could have run into, especially sitting there with Brian, like, to have run into RuPaul was

so special.

And it's like the only person me and Brian could equally die over, you know.

And it was so, he looked, he seemed, I didn't want to bother him.

He seemed so nice.

He was rolling with his crew.

It was drag con in LA this week, which is like this huge drag convention they have in LA and New York.

So that's obviously why he was like out and about.

It was so shocking to be in his presence.

He's so tall.

He's so like dapper, well-dressed.

It was, it was honestly probably the craziest, the most

impacted I've really ever felt by a celebrity.

Like his presence is so big.

And you didn't even say hi to him.

No, but I mean, they have like a policy at the Beverly Hills Hotel, like fuck off, you know?

So I wasn't going to like break it.

It's like a no-approach policy.

It's a no-approach policy.

I would be lying if I said I didn't like sneak a couple pictures of him.

He didn't see, but I just like wanted them for myself, you know?

Yeah, to remember.

It was so crazy.

He didn't forget.

He's also just like the type of celebrity who's so famous, so rich, and not, he's not like social.

He doesn't go out, you know, on the town, paparazzi'd with Miley Cyrus, you know, like, yeah, he doesn't really leave his house.

So it was just, it was crazy.

I'm really happy for you when you sent the picture.

We were all just like shook and like, what a better, like, to be with Brian and see him.

You love to see it.

I also saw Taiga.

I saw that kid from Shameless, the little one.

But Rue was like really the major moment.

And when you were out in LA, do you just like get this feeling that you're about to be discovered?

Yeah, and also the whole time, I was so upset.

I kept trying to find for my Instagram stories, We Run LA.

And it's like not a real song.

No, it's not.

It's a

conflagration.

What's the word of like two things?

A blend.

A blend.

But there's always this word that I'm like reaching for.

Yeah, no, it's one of those words we learn.

Not combination.

Conjugation?

No, it's like

conflation.

Conflation.

Wow, I totally agree.

Conflation over inflation.

Okay, it's like a remix?

Yes, it's a, what was I even saying?

Oh, yeah.

We run song.

It's a conflation of the song from Shaws, We Run LA, and Chris Jenner's original song, I Love My Friends.

Okay, but no, by the way, I'm sorry.

The theme song for Shaws of Sunset is We Run LA.

Yeah.

But never We Love LA.

No, but I was trying to find We Run LA, like the Shaws of Sunset theme song.

I googled it, I found the name, and it's like not on Spotify.

It's like a fake song.

So I couldn't get it for my Instagram stories.

And everything I posted, I wanted to do We Run LA.

And then for my, I did like a photo dump at the end of the weekend, and I wanted to do we run.

But I thought people would think I was actually writing like I run LA and like that was like too embarrassing.

That would be really embarrassing.

But if you put music notes on both sides, they might get it.

We run LA.

So it was a really nice weekend.

I'm so happy to be back like in the town of real people, my friends, my family.

I'm just, it was enough, you know?

Yeah.

Every couple, every, like three days in LA is enough for me.

I've never been, I, we've done like pretty long treaches in LA and I've never been like, I have to get out of this town.

Oh, I have.

I just love that town.

That's so weird.

It's so weird.

Because I like hate.

I wonder how I would feel about New York if I didn't live here.

Despise.

And I came.

I think I would hate it more than I do now.

Yeah, of course, because if you were visiting here, that would mean that your family doesn't live here.

And really, the only reason you like, you can stay in New York is because all of your friends, family, college, high school, everyone lives here.

You don't think I would look around like.

No.

Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed?

Why see?

That was good.

Thank you.

Two bucks, three bags, one me.

Okay, that was okay.

By the way, in the newest episode of Kardashians, did you die from the fact that Chloe Kardashian references Annie just as much as you do?

She's a Hannigan's fan.

She's a Hannigan stan.

She's an Annie girly.

Yeah, I'm sure True watched Annie Live.

Oh, yeah, I guess that's why.

And maybe it was in the fall.

It was before Annie Live had aired, but maybe Chloe was keeping up with the casting announcements like we were.

Right.

Because True was really invested.

When Chloe was like, we got Annie, I was like, excuse me?

The fuck did you say that?

That's like the most random niche reference that you like hung on to from Annie Live.

We got Annie.

Talk to my husband.

That was his thing.

Oh, right.

Zach did that.

Yeah.

So for her to have like latched onto that, too, it's like, we are so.

Maybe she watches the toast.

Duh.

We got Annie.

Yeah, except when she was saying it was October before.

Whatever.

Don't spoil it.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Don't spoil it.

We have a lot of Kardashians news today, but it's like real shit.

So, you know, duh.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Should we just save in them?

Let's save in.

We have a lot to...

We actually have so many stories, like so many things and even make the cut.

You love to see it.

You do, finally.

So here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Okay, our first story.

Big news: Kim Kardashian covers the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and pens an emotional letter to her younger self.

Kim just checked off another career milestone with her sexy debut cover for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, and she's clearly feeling good in her skims.

She is wearing skims swims.

The mogul and reality star who has perfected the art of the bikini selfie for her millions of Instagram followers was photographed by Greg Swalls in the

Swalls.

Okay, tell me.

No, no, I'm sure it's S-W-A-L-E-S.

Swallows Swalls.

Look at Swalls, bro.

Swalls, looking swallows.

In the Dominican Republic for her SI swimsuit moment, posing fresh face in a nude skims bikini and matching sheer gloves.

Yes, gloves with a bikini.

Okay, so Kim is one of four SI Swim cover girlies.

Mae Musk is another one.

Mae Musk is another one.

Sierra and

Yumi, Yumi New were the four.

So I have a lot of thoughts on this.

My first is that like love seeing Kim getting recognition.

You know how I feel.

But something I always really liked about SI Swim is like they were constantly introducing us to like new curvy queens who I had never heard of.

Kate Upton, Hannah Jeter.

Like there were always people on the cover like the girl who I had like never heard of and then I became huge fans of and like Kim is like such an obvious choice and I love Kim and she should have definitely been on it.

But like, I don't know, I kind of missed the days where it wasn't like so celebrated, like Sierra, even.

You know what I mean?

Yes, very interesting.

My take is, I miss the days of just one cover.

Agreed.

It's not a special anymore.

So, yeah.

And it's like, also, everybody's like focusing on the Kim cover.

Like, if I'm one of the other girlies, like, if I'm May, I'm a little peeved.

I'm just not even that.

Like, I just think that for the consumers, it's just like instead of there being like the one to watch, it's like the four, and they all just get a little less shine.

I completely agree.

It used to be like if you were chosen as the one, like your career was never the same.

Yeah.

Like you were made.

And now they started doing like multiple.

It was three and now it's four.

That's a lot.

I think it's like, yes, I agree.

It's like not as special to have been chosen.

And like I kind of like that like they really spent, they had all these swim searches from like across the nation and they found like random girls who are beautiful and unique looking who never would have been discovered otherwise.

I don't know.

I just feel like it's just different.

And I love SI Swim.

I think like they're an amazing company.

They did everything Victoria's Secret could never do.

Like, and I really support them.

And they've been doing it since before it was

the coolest thing.

So I so support them, like, 100%.

These are just like my thoughts.

Like, and I love Kim, don't get me wrong.

It's just like so obvious.

No, can I just like, I love, you know how I love it.

Of course.

And I don't have to say it.

And I love SI Swim.

And just for some reason, like, I didn't give me the reaction that like you would expect from me.

And do you want to know why?

This photo shoot, like beautiful, just looked like all of Kim's Instagrams.

You know what I mean?

I felt like SI Swim, like their covers are so sickening.

And like, you see, they travel like 45 hours to like the most random fucking beach on the planet, wake up at the crack of dawn.

And this just looked like, you know, Kim has photo shoots all the time.

And she's always going on vacation and she takes sick photos for her Instagram.

And this just looked like the same caliber as honestly some of her Instagram photo shoots.

That's such a good point.

Yeah, I was just like a little, and this is so crazy of us to say.

I know.

But like, I was kind of like,

yeah.

And then I was also thinking, like, on the one hand, this is like a big, to be on the cover of S.

I Swim is like one of those 10 pole moments in a career.

But on the other hand, like, Kim is major beyond.

And it makes sense because every single swimsuit she's wearing is skim swim.

So it's like really a promotional thing for her.

And I'm sure when she was launching Swim, she was like, okay, what's a campaign that we can do?

Like, what's the most iconic swim moment?

SI Swim.

Of course.

So it really is like a very happy marriage, very good synergy here, but it's also just like giving ad.

Yeah.

And nothing like revolutionary.

Yeah, no, I just missed the days where like I would discover like new models who I thought were so sickening from SI Swim.

Like, yeah.

Remember when Chrissy Teigen, Nina Ogdahl, and I forget the other girl's name were all on the cover and like the little tushies were hanging out.

Like there were just so many iconic moments.

I mean, Kate Upton and her, you know, amazing body, Hannah Jeter and like her whole, like, remember it was like her vaginas out.

Like when like Kate Upton was on the cover and then she was on the cover again, and then they did three covers all different Kate Upton.

Like, that was interesting.

Now it's like, okay, next year there'll be five five people because it's giving like participation award.

Like we can't, we can't choose a winner.

You're all winners.

Jackie, that, that, that, that, that's it.

Like, it's giving participation award.

And I have to be honest, like, if they just had one cover and it was Mae Musk, like, that would be a statement.

Yeah.

Or by the way, I'm so sorry.

I don't know this other girl's name.

What is her name?

Yumi Mu.

She's sickening looking.

And it should have been like, that's the type of situation where if it was just her, I'd be like, oh my God, I don't know this girl.

I know her now.

Let me follow her on Instagram.

Love her.

Like, yeah.

But she just kind of got shafted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cause it's all about Kim.

And, like, you had to know when there was like Kim and three others, like, we're only talking about Kim.

So I'm just like, I don't know.

And by the way, I follow MJ Day on Instagram and like she posts amazing content of all the different girls.

And like, if it was any one of these like new unknown girls just by themselves, like that, that's like a historic moment, like how we now look back on Kate Upton.

And it's just like, I don't know, like.

I was underwhelmed.

Yeah, me too.

Considering like I'm the target audience for this.

Right.

And I was, I was whelmed.

I I was whelmed for sure.

Which is shocking, but, like, I just, I was thinking, like, why is this not like everything?

Yeah.

But you know what?

It's always fun to get like new Kim content.

Yes, yes.

And SI Swim is always exciting.

So make sure to pick up a copy.

Yes.

And they're always supporting the toast.

So we love them.

We love.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little more Kardashian news because it's like big news.

Courtney and Travis are officially married.

She confirmed the marriage and shared intimate wedding pics, captioned, till death do us part.

They took some black and white photos outside the courthouse in a lowrider convertible that with a sign that said just married like very classic, very gorgeous, very stunning.

She's very gorgeous to me.

And there's a lot of confusion here because they were like, is this the official wedding?

Blah, blah, blah.

MJ was there and Travis's father, Randy Barker, and they appear to be the only witnesses who were at the low-key ceremony.

So what I believe is happening is they are getting married this weekend.

in Italy.

I don't know.

I haven't heard that it's this weekend, but.

Oh, that's what I heard.

Oh, okay.

And it would make sense to do it, like, you do it if you get the license.

You know, you have 60 days, but right.

Yeah.

And I don't think MJ will be traveling for that.

So, like, she gets to be at this wedding and then they get to take their license to get married overseas.

No, it's like super special, and I liked that.

But, like, I don't know why today's like I'm kind of being like a Karasian hater, but like between the Vegas wedding and then this, and then we have another one this weekend, it's like enough ready.

That is true.

I'm sorry, like, and when I got the people notification, I was like, cool.

Like, I just.

Everything these days just makes me go, cool.

No, i think i'm becoming i think it's just been like a lot with the card and don't get me wrong like i don't want this to get back to kylie you know but like i will stand till the day i die but the last couple weeks it's been a lot like with the new show and then kim and pete like it's just been a lot travis and and it's hard to muster up the same enthusiasm for every single thing milestone every single sister all of the time so like and i do like love courtney and travis and i have a lot of thoughts actually about scott did you watch his most recent episode um it's definitely like a weird dynamic and i was actually thinking before bed last night i wanted to mention this on the show that That conversation with Kendall and Scott at the end was so asinine.

Like, Kendall was fully gaslighting Scott.

She was like saying she didn't have a birthday party.

And then she was like, well,

why would I put Courtney in a bad position?

It's like, well, didn't you just say you weren't having a birthday party?

Yeah.

She was just like not be, she was not giving what she thought she was giving.

And she was like, Scott, literally re-watch the tapes.

Like, we're on record.

Like, no, you actually, if you re-watch the tapes, you would look incredibly silly because that's not what you said.

You know what's so funny?

It's like, she's the biggest supermodel in the world.

Like, there's no one cooler, no one more like beautiful, stunning, and smart.

And like, when it comes to her family, like she's just the kid's sister.

It's true.

And it's like, you know how like Margo gets like exasperated in like an argument like that?

It's like, and she had to like storm up and walk away.

Like that's just Kendall.

That's so true.

But that's why we love the Kardashians like because at the end of the day, they're like just sisters, you know?

Yeah.

And did you see like the internet being lit ablaze by the fact that Kendall does not know how to cut a cucumber?

Of course.

And you know what?

Like it was warranted because when I watched that scene, like she looks like she's going to cut her wrist off.

No, first of all, between her arms being crossed over and then when she gets to the regular spot, her finger is so close to the the front of the cucumber and she's almost gonna chop off her fingernail i'm like damn that's you know they have been famous since she's so young they've been famous for most of her adult life where like courtney kim and chloe got to be like 21 before they got really famous so i think older kendall has had like a chef literally since she was like 10.

yeah so the fact that she doesn't know how to cut a cucumber like is actually not shocking no not shocking but then like don't be so proud like then when chris is like calling chef to cut it for her let chef do it let chef do it like because i think she probably wanted to look like no no, I make my own snack.

Yeah, because she really is like the one of all the girls, the one who's like, I'm not like other celebrities.

Like, I'm real.

I'm a nerd.

I love to paint.

She's like, her vibe is always very much giving, like, I'm a regular girl.

When I think out of all them, she's probably the least regular.

No, and it's like just seeing that scene like actually exposed her more than if she just lets Chef make her a snack.

Let Chef cut it up, even though I was really interested to see what she eats because she's like so perfect looking.

Yeah.

We love a balance queen, pretzels, cucumbers, and hummus.

That's a good snack.

That is a good snack.

So I just thought that episode was interesting, but back to Courtney and Travis.

And I really, I believe in their love.

I think they're great for each other, but I'm like getting,

I've become like a little,

what's the word?

Fatigued.

Fatigued, but also, is it desensitized?

And like overexposed.

Yeah, it's just like, it's a lot of the same story multiple times.

And yeah, I'm not so into like the Scott, Travis, Courtney like dynamic, especially because at least for me, like it feels like Courtney and Scott like are strangers.

They don't know each other.

They haven't been in love in such a long time that there's no way that it still hurts.

Yeah.

You know, so it's like, why?

And Scott is really like the family brother at this point.

So why can't the brother come around?

So what are your thoughts on them inviting Scott places?

I think Scott should be invited everywhere because he's just like the brother at this point.

Like there's no risk for like Travis that Courtney's going to fall back in love with Scott.

I don't think she's been in love with him since she was 21.

Yeah.

So she wasn't even in love with him like for the last five years of their relationship.

Yeah.

And then also it's been five years since that.

Like I don't think she even looks at him like that.

She's so in love with Travis.

Like Scott does not pose any sort of threat like he's so enmeshed in the family and as he said like he lost both of his parents at the same time and the kardashians came in to be there for his to be his family like you can't now take that away because like courtney met someone else no i agree and like i do think he was acting like a little bit like a little insane at the one-on-one lunch with chris but it's like everyone is like lying to him and like

Talking about him behind his back and like doing things where I think he would actually just appreciate it more if Kendall was like I'm having a birthday party I'm not inviting you just because like I feel like it'll be weird But to to find out like on Instagram from your own family, like that's probably what hurts the most.

And I don't think the way he is responding to it is like 100% right.

Like he was a little mean to Chris at that lunch when it's like Chris is the queen.

Like have some respect.

Yeah.

But I understand the frustration.

I do.

But I also understand.

But see, like, who is it coming from?

So Kendall was like, I don't want Courtney to be uncomfortable.

Did Courtney ask.

Kendall not to invite like is Courtney asking her mom and her sisters not to invite Scott to certain things or are they making that decision on their own?

I don't know because it kind of feels like they're all protecting Courtney and like it was Courtney's request.

Yeah, but it's like, unless there's stuff we didn't see, it's not like they broke up and they've been like hooking up, can't quit each other.

It's a very like neutral.

Well, I don't know.

Like at the end of the e-show,

he was like working towards getting back.

Like she was like, there's a list of things you need to do for me.

And if you do them, I will entertain.

I can't even imagine them kissing.

No, it's like now they, I'm sorry, like Chloe and Scott are endgame.

Like, I know that sounds like

a kid.

They are endgame.

It's like what he loves about Courtney is Chloe.

Like they're family, so they're really similar.

They have some sort of chemistry.

I know it's crazy and it's like biblical.

And they could, I don't think they could ever have kids together because that would make it weird.

But

I'm telling you, like there is something there.

The kids would be not half siblings.

They would be like three quarter siblings.

It's not a thing.

And also, I guess the big bombshell from this week's episode that everyone like wanted us to talk about was the fact that Chloe admitted that her interests in like our back together.

But like,

I don't care.

That's the fatigue.

We need a new button instead of a gava, like fatigued.

Like when I just can't talk about something anymore.

Yeah.

And I'm there with Courtney and Travis.

I'm there with like, I'm there with a lot of Kardashian-related stuff.

And that is not a reflection of how I feel about them.

It's just like, it's been a lot these last couple weeks because of the new show and like they've just been in the press a lot.

No, and like so much of what I like, there's so much from the show that like is giving me life and it's just not like the the overall narratives.

It's like Chris's house, Chris's China room.

Chris's house.

Chris's room of China.

I never really knew like like what my dream aesthetic was like a lot of girls romanticize like you know capri as their like you know coastal grandmother like everyone has like an aesthetic that and i didn't know what mine was i've been aestheticless until last week like my aesthetic is whatever chris channels house is like elegance opulence dripping in diamonds like kind of old antique looking furniture but like making it rich yeah like Yeah.

Like couches with like bed skirts.

Ew.

I would literally never buy that in my entire fucking life.

But I was like, Chris, I was like, that is the most gorgeous couch I've ever seen.

My only thing about the new house is like, we've seen some aerial photos of the lots because they're next to each other.

And like, I'm someone who's, I'm interested in the land and the views and the bucolic nature.

And I need to see her backyard because, based on like the aerial drone footage that we've seen, like they, it looks kind of like there's not a lot of land.

You know, who has the best backyard?

Courtney.

Yes.

Yeah.

She literally like backs onto a cliff.

So there's like mountains, galore.

Kim's house is very kind of enclosed, which I guess is like a safety thing.

It's very enclosed.

It's like a hidden garden, which is a vibe, but I love Courtney's backyard.

I don't know.

I don't know how she's ever going to move, especially like the house that they looked at.

How do you go from that backyard to

that backyard?

And by the way, they both have mega.

I was watching a TikTok.

Someone did like aerial footage, Google Earth from Travis's house to Courtney's house.

They literally live seven blocks away from each other.

Not seven blocks, seven houses away from each other.

They're both so big.

Just move into one.

Do they have enough bedrooms for all those kids, though?

Well, Travis's kids are like older.

So I don't think the oldest one lives at home, Landon.

Alabama's like 18.

She probably will be moving out soon.

Like, would it kill Rain and Penelope to share a room?

Like, my God.

Is that like so crazy?

Like, everyone does it.

Share a fucking room, get a bunk bed.

You'll have fun.

You will have fun.

I'm sorry, sharing a room as a kid is like literally the best.

What fucking four-year-old wants to be by themselves?

Yeah, no, I totally agree.

Or Rain and Mason can share a room.

Yeah, like we share rooms.

Share rooms, mixed gender.

No, no, no, no, no, sorry.

I forgot, you know, who was who, but like, no, mixed gender, I don't think so.

But like,

sharing a room as a child is literally the best shit in the world.

Yeah, and it teaches you how to share.

Like, I think just like having your own room is very akin to like only child syndrome.

Yeah.

You know, it's in the same

vein.

And normalized sharing rooms.

Normally, especially for celebrity children.

Yeah, no, like they're not.

They don't just make houses with unlimited rooms.

No, and they're already like so privileged.

Like, you actually are doing them a favor by sticking them in the same small room with a bunk bed.

Like, you would just learn so much about life.

You get so close with your siblings.

Like, I wouldn't, I shared a room with Margo most of my life, actually, all of my life, and I fucking want to trade it for the world.

Even though at the time I was like, it was Shane Room.

No, it was the best.

Yeah.

The best.

Good times.

Good times.

Are you ready for our next story?

I don't know if Margot would say the same.

Oh, we got to get Margo on here.

Margo was here twice last week, like, just giving us everything.

It was so generous of her, like, to share her time with us.

We know how busy she is.

And you know what?

It wouldn't have been friends and family months without her.

She needed to come on and let everyone know how she feels about her sister.

100%.

Are you ready for our next story?

Speaking of people who are no longer sharing rooms.

Sorry, I'm not there yet.

Is it the next story that's brought to you by Away?

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My Away suitcase is my best friend.

I actually have two now because I can't get enough and Ben is always using it.

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But the little travel carry-on is like the best bag on the planet.

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We're always saying like, where do you put your dirty undies when you are on a trip?

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I don't know if it is.

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Okay.

Real houses and Miami stars Lisa and Lenny Hawks are getting divorced.

I'm trying to process it.

Last week, week, we spoke about how there was like the blow-up at the club when I hosted with Margo.

She had no idea.

No idea what you're talking about.

But I had to say it because what was the story?

I didn't hear it.

So

they were saying that Lisa was at a club and Lenny showed up with his new girlfriend and there was like words and it was like got crazy.

And then everyone denied that that had happened, but it's like, then where did this story come from?

Anyways, now Lenny confirmed to page six that he and Lisa are going their separate ways after 12 years of marriage.

He said, Lisa and I are getting divorced.

A few weeks ago, I denied this because I am trying my best to protect my family during this process.

This is a very difficult time, and I would ask for some privacy so that we can best take care of our children who mean the world to us.

Lenny also confirmed that he is dating Austrian model Katharina Mazepa, but claimed none of this happened until after the decision was made to get divorced.

Yeah, I saw like a weird paparazzi video of them like standing outside Prime 112, just like hugging, kissing, and like looking into the camera.

It was so weird.

Ooh, that's weird writing you sent it to me.

I figured you saw it because you are literally Lenny and Lisa's like number one fan.

In the Google search.

Yeah.

He has yet to file for divorce from Lisa, but told page six that they've contemplated divorce for the last several years.

He said, I tried my best to avoid it for the sake of our children who we love deeply.

We have been living separate for months and made the decision to divorce last month.

It was after the decision was made that I started seeing Katharina.

This is something that Lisa was well aware of before it happened.

Our issues have nothing to do with filming the show.

Yeah, sure.

No, actually, I believe that because they've only been back on TV for a year, and when they came back, they were so toxic.

Yeah, but it's like, it's weird because when they filmed the last installment of Miami, afterwards, they got separated, and that's when Lenny had an emotional affair.

Now they're filming this again, and they're getting divorced.

And then, like, maybe sometimes putting a spotlight on shows things that were previously unseen, literally and mentally.

Um,

or it's a coincidence, yeah.

Like, for me, I still like when I think of Lenny and Lisa and like why I shipped them, like, I think back to like literally 10 years ago, what we saw, and they're so different now.

They're so toxic, both of them.

Like, the way that, like, like, Lenny speaks to Lisa is, like, not okay.

The way that Lisa, like,

the way that Lisa just, like, dismisses Lenny, like, they're really not good for each other.

Like, they're extremely toxic.

And so, while I'm sad, like, I actually do think it's the right decision.

What the fuck?

There's something crazy going on in this building.

Oh, there's people there.

Can you stop?

We're in the middle of something.

Can you ask me?

Excuse me, we're in the middle of Lenny and Lisa.

Yeah, no, it's like they don't even care.

No, they don't care.

It's like they don't even care that Lenny and Lisa are getting divorced.

It's disgusting.

What is that noise?

Sorry, guys.

It's like too big to ignore.

No, I know.

I don't know.

And it's a little scary.

No, I know.

I thought it was like, you know, like a bad sound at first.

Oh my god.

No, something's it sounds like they're taking it sounds like someone's like getting robbed at this point.

You must be able to hear it.

Yeah, of course, of course.

Yeah, well, we're almost done.

Yeah, that's not acceptable.

What are they they say?

What happened?

So they're like constructing they're doing construction?

Yeah.

It's like no one respects the show.

It's disgraceful.

It's disgraceful.

Don't they know that Philip Philip watched?

Don't they know Philip Phillip watched?

And don't they know that Lisa and Lennox are getting divorced?

Like nobody fucking cares.

Nobody fucking cares.

Oh my god.

Well, so like you are the resident stan.

Like what is your takeaway from this?

Okay, I feel sad obviously and I ship very hard, but I do sometimes feel like when people go on TV and they show us like the bad side of their relationship, I actually sometimes feel like it's a healthy sign.

I agree.

And so where is that line of like, okay, we're seeing, you're not, you know, pretending everything's perfect versus like, oh, you showed us you were toxic this whole time.

And, you know, like there is a.

There's like Adrian and Paul Nassif who were so fucking toxic.

And then some people were like, every couple banters, but then like literally five days later, they're going to be like, no, but it's like, okay, it's like you and Ben, like how you would bicker on this show.

And like, I think it's a sign of a healthy relationship that you can show like that not everything is like

so fine and dandy and like this is how we talk to each other sometimes.

But then there is a line where it's like, oh no, like these two people are unhappy and we've been watching it this whole time the line is Paul and Adrian I think that's literally the perfect everyone used to comment on how much they bickered on Beverly Hills but then it wasn't even bicker it was like literal hatred for one another yeah but I felt like Lisa and Lenny's dynamic

not this season I guess.

Because they kept talking about the emotional affair, yada yada.

Oh yeah, without that.

But like, well, I just keep thinking about like the dinner that they went to with like his parents, for example.

Like I thought that they were being like a cute, funny, happy, miserable.

No, that was like a little, that, in my opinion, that one crossed the line, like the, like the dinner.

Interesting.

To talk about your in-laws like that, like on TV.

Why?

I thought she was saying these things.

Lisa?

Yeah, what'd she say?

I don't know.

I just remember her like saying kind of like negative things about Lenny's mom.

Oh, I don't recall that.

That's how I remember it.

But like, regardless, this is like not surprising, but it is sad.

It's, yeah, it's sad.

And

I'm.

Looking forward.

I don't, I'm team Lisa.

And I think the reason why I like Lisa and Lenny so much is because I like Lisa so much.

Yes.

And so I just like hope that she, it seems like even though she knows about all of this, like he's moved on.

She's the one who keeps denying and saying like his behavior is inappropriate.

So I think she's kind of slow to come to like she's less okay with it.

Yeah.

Do you think that they signed a prenup?

Did she mention that this season?

I don't know.

She has a lot of money.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't think it's ever been mentioned.

Well, you know what?

Lisa was like really giving absolutely nothing on this recent season of Real House Wise in Miami.

And this divorce did just buy her another season.

So for that, she should be grateful.

Well, no, I think she would have been on anyway because like she gets along with everyone.

Like she's one of those people that it's like, oh, half the cast isn't talking.

Like Lisa, throw a party.

She won't last forever, though.

If the franchise goes on forever, like I don't think she, if she kept giving the same energy she gave last year, I don't think she could go further than like two or three more seasons.

She was so boring.

Yeah.

Talking about like her nannies and her manicures, like, come on.

Yeah.

Well, now she has more to talk about, but I also think like her and Lars have like a really nice friendship, and now they're both single.

Yeah, that's true.

No, so I do think this has breathed new life into her time on the show.

Did you watch the premiere of Beverly Hills?

Yeah, of course.

We haven't spoken about it.

Hey, we'll do a TV recap.

Okay.

Okay, yeah, we'll do TV recap.

Are you ready for our next story?

Sure.

Because even though we haven't been covering the ins and outs of this trial, Amber Heard blames Johnny Depp's dog for the infamous bed poop incident.

Because like it was years ago when we first found out that in, you know, the back and forth between Amber and Johnny, there was a story that unfurled that she took a dump on his bed, you know, in a fit of rage.

And now she's saying that.

As most people do.

She is saying that that is not her.

She denied under oath that she was the one who left Feces in the Pirates of the Caribbean actor's bed in 2016.

Instead, Amber blamed the act on Depp's dog, Boo.

He said, Boo had eaten Johnny's weed when she was a puppy and had bowel control issues for her entire life.

That's like really concerning, among some other issues.

Amber said, we regularly, regularly had to take her to the vet to try to figure out what was wrong with this dog.

I'd never met a dog that was quite like this.

She testified that Boo liked to burrow in the bed and would sleep with the couple.

She also said that they had to leave her in the bed so she wouldn't be encouraged to go to the bathroom, which would happen almost immediately when she put her down on the floor.

And sometimes it happened in bed too.

I don't know.

There's like a difference in human feces and dog feces when it comes to girth, length, kind of like a human.

What kind of dog was Boo?

Right.

Unless Boo was a fucking Rottweiler.

Yeah.

I don't think Boo dog.

You could confuse it with human feces, but that's just my opinion as a feces expert.

I agree, but like maybe a big lab makes a big shit.

So here's the thing.

I'm having a hard time believing.

Okay.

Let me see.

How big is this?

Well, I just googled Boo Dog Breed, hoping that, like, you know, but one of your Johnny Depp.

Okay.

Because

the answer I just got.

It's a Yorkie.

It's a Yorkie.

Okay.

What?

That's like a three-pound dog, right?

Smaller than...

T-cup Yorkie.

For reference, this man's poop could not be confused for human poop.

No, no.

Human poop.

Could not.

You see him?

This is to scale.

This is the size of Bryce.

Yorkie, I would say

this big.

Yeah.

Half of Bryce.

Yeah, there's no way that dog's shit could even come close to being confused for a human shit.

Not at all.

Case clothes.

So what I found to be most interesting, I get served so much Johnny and Amber content on TikTok, and and I definitely think the content I get served is like skewed negatively towards Amber.

But one of the most interesting videos I've seen in the last couple days, because the trial was on break for like a week, and now they're back, and it's the cross-examination of Amber Heard.

And so, you know, she has said that, you know, she had $7 million in settlement when she divorced Johnny, and she wanted none of it.

She said that she donated it all to the ACLU and the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles.

So when she was being cross-examined, Johnny's lawyer, who was like a fucking fireball, she was like, can you, is that true that you donated and she was like yeah I pledge that and the woman's like no no no did you donate it and she's like yeah I pledged it and the woman's like you're not listening I'm asking there's a difference between donating and pledging and so it like turns out that she like made this whole statement she was giving the seven million dollars to these organizations she pledged it but never paid it which is so shady so shady Wow.

So again, so much of the content I'm getting is like anti-amber.

And Amber Heard follows 55 people on Instagram, and I am one of them.

And it's so

unique to me, and I don't understand why.

What's crazy is like, up until this point, we really haven't spoken about the trial just because there's so much and there's so much history.

No, and I mentioned one thing, I think, when Taylor's Trekker was on, and I got a message from someone being like, Literally, you hate women, you don't support the Me Too movement.

Like, fuck off.

Fuck off.

I haven't even taken a hard stance.

I'm just like

reacting to what I'm seeing.

Right.

And like, and a lot of people believe Johnny, and they can still support the Me Too movement.

And a lot of people.

And then can be abused.

And a lot of people believed Amber like before all of this happened and now are seeing things and like it's

their opinions are changing.

Sometimes I was like, I'm not fucking talking about the stupid ass trial anymore because like literally I'm being accused of not supporting the Me Too movement.

Goodbye.

Insane.

So what I was just going to say is we haven't really been talking about it for various reasons.

Mostly just being there too much to to unpack and we're not like the legal mindsets to do so and let the courts decide.

And that's what's happening right now.

And we'll share once that's been decided.

um so maybe like amber has been tuning in every day because it's like oh this place this show is like an escape she follows you on instagram

she is like this is the only thing i can watch that's not talking about it oh my god i have to see if she still follows me honestly but you know because it's like you haven't really said anything i guess you said was taylor struck her but like maybe up until this point she was like girl with no job has my back

okay she does still follow me Maybe she's listening right now with Philip Phillips and Making a Duty.

I mean, I've like messaged with her.

That's so crazy.

I don't even remember doing that, but not since 2019.

She called me babe and she said I looked cute.

Oh my God, team member.

So yeah, I just like don't, it's, there's so much information about this.

I mean, I think the most interesting thing that's come out of it, and I think one of the biggest headlines is like Amber, you know, Milani Cosmetics, which is the drugstore

makeup brand, which is fabulous, by the way.

Amber like submitted into evidence this color-correcting palette that she used over the years while she was, you know, in an abusive relationship with Johnny Depp.

And I think she said the abuse started in like 2015 or something.

And then Milani Cosmetics posted on their TikTok: the palette that she's holding up wasn't released till 2017.

Like, it didn't even exist.

So, her, like, she was like, This is my bruise kit.

She, like, that's what I used to call it.

Saying, like, for years, she used it when Milani Cosmetics fully came out and said, like,

we didn't even make this product until 2017.

Wow.

Did then Johnny's team like submit that?

I don't know.

That's a good question.

Wow.

Johnny's legal team is not fucking around.

And Amber's legal team is like,

but again, okay, I'm only getting targeted with content that's like so pro-Johnny because there is a movement of women who literally stand outside the courthouse, like die for Johnny, love him so much.

So I think I'm on that side of TikTok.

So it's possible that there's like other videos.

I just want to be like totally honest.

Right.

And also like you send me videos because I like you were sending me what you were seeing.

And it's like these things spliced together with like literal like circus music behind behind it to show like this is clown so what it's making it seem like is like amber's attorneys like cannot find their find their ass from their elbow and johnny's are like killer like you know robert shapiro like the best so again i think i'm on like a really specific side of tick tock and that might be shaping how i see the trial but again like Where I think I've landed is that like this was an incredibly mutually abusive relationship.

And there's, there's video recordings that are being played in the trial of like Amber admitting to physically abusing Johnny.

Right.

So I think that like they're both, they were in like an extremely toxic relationship where they were both being abused.

And I think that's like, I think the fairest way to kind of sum it up.

Yeah.

But again, we were, none of us will really ever know.

No.

But also feel free to send Claudia like Amber, Team Amber TikTok.

So maybe if you saw it in that, like.

I'd love to balance out the algorithm.

Like I'm really, but I, I just think like there isn't Team Amber content.

That's what I think.

Okay.

I don't know.

I really don't know.

That's why.

But I support the Me Too movement, I just want to say.

And also, men can be abused.

So.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Give us a song.

It's the final story.

He didn't take that shit.

And that's a magic dude.

Good one.

Thanks.

Fifth and final story: little TMI.

Megan Fox tells her stylist that she cut a hole in her blue jumpsuit to have sex with Machine Gun Kelly.

Remember what we were saying about like overexposed?

I'm there with these two also.

Right, so Megan Fox posted a carousel of a sickening outfit that she wore this weekend, and she included in the carousel a screenshot of a text to her stylist, style memae.

She said, was this blue outfit expensive?

Because we just cut a hole in the crotch so we could have sex.

I just, you know what it's giving?

It's giving like juniors who lost their virginity and being like, sex.

You know, like thinking it's like cool to have sex and like bragging about it.

Yeah.

Cause it's like.

Okay, it's one thing to cut a hole in the crotch to have sex.

It's another thing to like say that to your stylist.

And then it's another thing to post it yourself

letting everyone know that like you had sex in your jumpsuit.

Yeah, no, it's just like, I don't care.

And like we get it.

You guys are like really into each other.

Like, fuck off.

Yeah.

I like, I'm really, like, so spent with these two drinking of the blood.

Like, it's, they're, they're Travis and Courtney on crack.

Yeah.

And I think they're, they're, I think Travis and Courtney get so much press naturally.

And I think, like,

Megan and MGK like manufacture a lot of the crap that comes out about them.

I think some of it, because I think like they were just this couple where separately they were stars, but not in the press every single day.

And like together, they just like multiplied their and it's been so good for both of their careers.

Right.

And so I think a lot of it, like people are genuinely interested in them, and like they are getting, they are engaged and they, and he, you know, a lot of it is very natural.

But sometimes it's like, we need to share a text like this to shake things up.

Yeah, but also they were in the news a lot.

Also, we need to talk about the BBMAs.

We need to talk about Kara Delavine.

Oh, yes, we do.

And Kylie was there.

Kylie was there with Travis.

Stormy looked so amazing.

Stormy was best dressed.

Stormy looks so amazing.

I guess this is just like the day where I'm being critical of the Kardashians.

Like Travis just like coming back into the world with like out even acknowledging like what the fuck happened at Astro World is so bizarre to me.

It's so bizarre.

The way they cut it out of the show, because you know, Chris's birthday.

Yes, but it is an ongoing legal thing.

And also like, and I think when it even happened, everyone was like blaming the Kardashians.

And like, he's a very separate man with his separate teams.

Like, Chris has nothing to do with Astro World, honestly.

So it's it's like really not even necessary that they sully the show with talking about it especially since it is a huge legal matter agreed so why but Kendall was there right and these scenes of Kendall in Miami getting IV drips with Haley is a very confusing part of the timeline because they were in Houston so people are saying that like

that was just filmed at a different time and like they're making it seem like she was in Miami.

But do they think we're that stupid?

Right.

So I don't know what the real thing is, but like for me, okay, So my problem really isn't with the Kardashians because I don't believe in blaming the Kardashians for literally everything in the world.

And this was like a Travis thing, but the way Travis is like now re-entering, I know he had his first public performance.

He's now at the BBMA.

He's like, the way he's re-entering society is leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Yeah.

Like no acknowledgement.

And I know he's probably extremely limited in what he can do because,

you know, making donations or making a statement, like legally, he can be admitting fault.

And like, he, I get it, but it's just weird to me but don't you also think it's weird on behalf of the BBMAs like to have him to have him and have him perform yeah um because weren't they the ones who banned Morgan Wallen right right and then Morgan Wallen performed this year right but he was banned from the awards from uh showing up from winning like he didn't win anything right and he and he like said something really really bad but Travis like this is just died like it's worse right right yeah yeah right okay so like, no, it's just weird to me, like, the way this Travis thing is, like, they're just totally ignoring it.

I guess it's like a unique PR method, but, like, it's just, it's giving like insincerity, and it's really making me feel weird.

It's making me feel weird.

And then, just like seeing him and Kylie and Stormy walk the carpet, it's like, I love Kylie and Stormy, but it's like,

what?

Like, it's weird.

Yeah.

So, but that wasn't even for her.

But Kylie's standing by her man.

She's standing by her man.

She's saying that up, down, left, right, and center.

Right.

But that wasn't wasn't even the biggest thing from the BBMAs.

The biggest thing from the BBMAs is literally Cara Delavine being a fucking menace, bothering the fuck out of everyone, especially Megan the Stallion.

Megan the Stallion posted a picture, cropped out Cara Delavine from the middle.

She was being so annoying.

All these videos of her on the red carpet,

bothering Megan, like touching her dress and like hiding behind the step and repeat, and then like getting on the floor, taking pictures of Doja Cat, like,

go away.

No,

so extra doing the most.

I think when she first started doing Megan's dressing, like Megan was into it.

But then did you see the video?

I think it was Not Skinny Bonaparte that posted it to her story.

It was like a video of Doja Cat in her chair talking to Megan and Cara.

And she said, Oh, Cara, I love you.

And then she said, I love you guys.

Together.

Do people think they're a couple?

No, I don't think so.

Because also, it's like, why would they be seated next to each other?

It's just coincidence that the person that Cara was obsessed with on the red carpet, she also gets to sit next to inside.

Maybe she made someone move so she could sit next to Megan thee stallions.

I don't think that they're a couple.

I think that like Selena Gomez and Cara Delavine could be a couple.

They're like always together recently.

Oh really?

I wanted to watch her episode of SNL.

I watched a monologue.

It was okay.

What'd she say?

Anything?

Literally nothing.

But the after party was apparently like wild.

Went to 6 a.m.

Post Malone was there.

Car Delavine.

That's what I think of the after party is not like what Kim's post

drinks with

cocktail hour.

Yeah.

It was drinks with the co-workers.

So

I don't know what Cara Delavine was doing there, and I don't think that she's dating Megan.

No, Megan's tag is a boyfriend.

Sorry, party.

Okay.

Or up until recently she did.

And Megan looked so fucking annoyed by Cara.

Like, I was living for Megan's reactions, but like, what was she doing there?

I don't know.

She was also acting like a little

wild at the Met Gala.

Yeah, and also at that party that

you were at.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

She was

on stage with the mayor, and she's like...

She was just being like a little wild.

Like, she's kind of nuts.

Kind of?

Yeah, so I don't know what's going on with her, but like, I just am curious if she woke up like with a pit, with anxiety, because like

the content was everywhere she's.

She probably wrote into Unburden Yourselves and was upset to see we took the day off.

She was like, Jackie and Claudia, I went to an event this weekend and acted a fool.

I just became so obsessed with this one girl.

She really did.

Yeah.

She's just been a little weird lately.

When you put it that way, we have all been there.

Right.

But...

And by the way, I do believe...

Cara Delavine is like a party girl.

But this is compounded because every public event we've seen her at recently, it's bizarre.

And it's like the behavior is getting more and more strange with literally no explanation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I do believe she like likes to have a good time.

I think she's like a party girl through and through.

She's literally like a socialite.

You know, she goes out.

So.

But also, it's worth noting, like, she's been a celebrity for like 10 years now.

We've seen her at so many events, so many red carpets.

And like, that's not what she was doing.

So something's changed.

Yeah, there's something going on with Cara.

But there's something about Cara.

I don't care enough to dive into it.

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Real House Rises at Beverly Hills Premiere was good, but like a little boring.

Obviously, we had to.

Boring.

Yeah, like,

yeah, I thought it was boring.

That's crazy, because Andy Amazon Happens Live said last week when he was teasing it, like, probably the best premiere ever.

Oh, I totally disagree.

I think the best premiere ever of the Real Housewives was the season where Russell Armstrong passed away.

And, like, in the beginning, they had to be like,

I mean, in my opinion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, I don't know.

Like, I thought the footage from the robbery was so crazy.

So crazy.

But I don't know.

Like,

I don't want to be mean, but like,

a lot lot of it was like kind of cringy.

What do you mean?

I don't know.

Like, when PK got there, and then, like, he was hugging Mauricio, and then, like, Dorit went in and like kissed Mauricio's back.

Like, I don't know.

It was just, like, weird.

Okay.

I missed that.

I don't know.

It really, like, rattled me.

Yes.

The whole situation.

And, like, seeing the footage that they had, and like, even seeing Dorit the next day.

And what's so crazy is that her kids don't know.

Thank God.

Thank God.

But it also means that she can't process and grieve in her own house.

I know.

So I know people were like, it's weird that she, I don't think it was weird.

I don't think it was weird either.

Like she needs to be able to break down.

She cannot do that at home.

Like it's such a blessing that they don't know.

Mommy's going out for the night.

Like that's not.

Yeah.

And I'm sure like in those apps, in those days in the aftermath and even now like she has insane security.

Like she's never been more secure.

Sutton was being really weird.

Deranged.

And like it makes me think, because that's not a normal reaction.

And Sutton is like, she's quirky, but she's not insane.

No.

And that was an

insane reaction.

apathetic.

She's not

heartless.

It made it seem like she didn't believe Dariet or something.

Or maybe that she like didn't.

I don't know how you could hear like your friend got robbed in the middle of the night at one point and not

and not be like, oh, that's a really fucking big deal.

Like let's putting out fires all day.

Let's drop everything.

It was so weird to me.

And I want to hear her explanation.

And I don't know when she's going to be on Watch Happens Live next, but it was so fucking weird.

Yeah.

And it was like,

and I feel like Beverly Hills is at a weird place right now because like the group is divided in a lot of ways.

And like I'm, it's Erica

and Lisa, which for me is just like the L.

Like I used to be obsessed and like they're just not it anymore.

Um and it's them versus like Sutton, Garcelle and Crystal.

And then like Dorit and Kyle are like somewhere in the middle.

Yeah.

And I think this season they'll take sides.

Yeah.

And I do think they'll take Lisa and Erica's side just because Lisa, Erica, Kyle, Dorit, and Teddy Mellencamp are like this best friend crew.

Yeah.

Which makes it, and that's what Garcelle was saying last season.

That's why it's like not even fun to be with this group because, like, there's a core group, and if you're not a part of it, you're like an outsider.

Yeah, you're like left out, and you're supposed to not talk about the fact that like you're not including close with everyone, but you feel on the outside.

Right.

Yeah.

So, um, aside from like the Darit stuff, there wasn't a lot of drama outside, but there is like this great divide in the group.

And I think it's like from last season, and it's much more obvious now because

Garcell, Sutton, and Crystal have kind of like unionized in a sense.

Like they're like an official crew now.

Yeah, and they spent the offseason like getting closer.

And it's nice.

Yeah, and it's just so funny because we said this about Sutton and Crystal when they first like butted heads early in last season.

And it's just like Sutton butts heads with everyone she meets because she gives us these like weird vibes.

But it's like not even worth your time to like go after her, like have beef with her because she's...

harmless and it's just so funny how now like crystal can see that they have so much in common uh and it's like we all tried to tell you.

Literally.

Yeah.

And then, you know, what's interesting is Kathy Hilton.

She wasn't in the episode, right?

She's not in the episode, but she is close with like with Crystal.

Yeah.

And this season, like we see that her and Kyle like get into it.

Yeah, but

Sarina seems to be in the middle.

Kathy

is like the up until

up until this point, I think she has been like the most well-respected kind of matriarch of the group.

Nobody fucks with Kathy.

But I do believe there's an incident this season

on the Aspen trip where like Kathy gets in trouble for doing saying something really bad.

Oh.

I knew that there's beef, like something happens in Aspen.

Yeah, but I don't think it has to do with Kyle.

Like from what I heard, and this is totally unverified.

I hate to even say it, but like I think I read it on Reddit.

It's like Kathy calls

Sutton's like friend or assistant like a slur.

Again, totally unverified.

Like I hate to even put that out there, but that is like what the Beverly Hills fans are saying.

Okay, but then there also is an issue between Kyle and Kathy.

Where Lisa's like somehow in the middle of it, where it's like, Lisa, get out.

Like, this is a family matter.

Yeah.

So, like, we got, we got really nothing

concrete with the drama in this episode because we were all obviously focused on Darit.

And I think Darit is extremely strong, and it literally sounded like so scary.

But we didn't like move forward in the storyline yet.

In the drama.

In like the plot.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, agreed.

So, um.

Also, I watched Summer House last night reading in part two, second and final part, which always just like leaves you wanting a little more, which I enjoyed.

Um, the reunion in general was just, I guess, because it was a good season, like there's just not that much.

And like, there clearly something went down in Winterhouse because it is ice cold in there.

Dividing.

And there's so much that they're clearly not saying, but the

tension between Paige and Lindsay, there's nothing that we've seen has been so weird.

Nothing that we've seen has been able to explain that.

And I don't even think, and they, no one even said, like, you'll see on Winterhouse because I'm sure sure that's like an annoying thing.

And it's not even like Andy asked, like, what happened between you two that we obviously did not see, but

something.

And it must be like really weird to have filmed an entire show and then have to film the reunion for this old show.

Just all very strange.

Yeah, it was a good reunion, but for me, like, I am on Team Page in Sierra.

And, like, everyone was against them, like, even the guys, like Carl being such a loser, in my opinion.

So, like, and like Luke coming after Paige, it was like tough to watch as someone who, like, I really am team Paige.

Yeah, I all season have been team Paige and Sierra but I do think in the reunion

They didn't do themselves any favors and that if you were a Lindsay and Danielle like team member you would then you felt vindicated because they did seem to come out on top.

But I also just felt like Paige and Sierra might have been limited in what they could say based on like other things that had happened and like they weren't as forth.

Like sometimes at a reunion like you make amends, you know, everything, even though we get into the trenches, we come out out and it's like we're good but there was none of that because it seems like there's something else going on yeah

um i guess we'll just have to wait and see with uh winter house yeah and speaking of we're having a really kind of exclusive interview coming up yeah we're about to record we're about to record with austin he has he messaged me like i have a lot to say i feel like my name has been besmirched and i would like to speak my truth and i said of course you're always welcome we love to let people speak their truths here so he'll be joining us literally in 20 minutes to um

speak his truth.

The podcast will be out tomorrow.

The podcast will be out tomorrow, but we're doing something different.

If you're watching as a video right now, the Austin episode will be up as a video once it's recorded.

Yeah, in like two hours because he wants to clear his name and we are open to hearing.

Yeah, and he was a big topic of conversation at the reunion last night.

So, we're going to get some summer house answers from him as well.

So, thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast and Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast factories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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