S5 Ep42: Claudia Rockefeller: Tuesday, April 12th 2022

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Tuesday.

That really feels like a Monday because it's the first episode of The Morning Toast this week.

And we have got my favorite co-host, the only co-host who truly matters.

She's not like other co-hosts.

It's Jackie O, also known as Haroldson's mom.

Hi, Haroldson's mom.

Me?

Yeah.

Hi, I'm so excited to be back in studio with you doing our thing.

And we are twins today from top to bottom.

No, we are twins from way back.

Like, these outfits are simpatico, iratico, hypnotico.

100%.

We're both wearing leggings, sweatshirts, and Air Force Ones, but we're also wearing like sweatshirts we've never worn before.

Yeah, I got this sweatshirt on tour.

Someone gave it to me, and a lot of people think it's new merch, and I just have to say it's not.

I'm really sorry.

And these girls came from Cleveland to

was I Chicago.

No, it was in Chicago.

And it says today is a Cleveland Day, and they got you one too, and I brought it for you.

Oh, my God.

I have actually a whole bag full of things for you, okay?

Oh my god, what's that bag?

Don't ask.

First up, today is a Cleveland Day crew deck from your toasters in Cleveland.

I could have really been twinning, but then people would have 100%.

Thought it was merch.

Thought it was new merch.

Obsessed.

Then I have a matching onesie for Haroldson.

I'm obsessed.

There you go.

Oh, my God.

He's gonna love that.

I also have another onesie for Haroldson that says, P-Jom, P-Jom Alert, P-Jom.

Who, him?

Yeah.

Yes.

Wait, there's more.

Oh, this one is my favorite.

It says, my auntie is not like other girls.

Oh, my God.

The toasters really showed up and showed out for you.

They really did.

We should put this person in charge of our merch.

No, no, it's all for, it's a bunch of different people.

Like, it's not just one.

Oh, okay, because I was like.

And this is probably the best one.

Bryce's bro.

I thought it said Bryce's bra.

But it's so cute.

I'm sorry.

It says Bryce's bra.

Bryce's bra.

It says Bryce's bra.

He could be Bryce's bra.

And then we got a blue one that says, Aunt Claudia, I'm flat, broke.

Oh my god, you don't understand.

Like, I feel like you really need these.

I didn't realize babies actually wear these every day under all of their cute outfits.

And I do need these, and he's going to be wearing these every day, and they're going to spark so much joy for me.

Thank you so much.

There's one more item that is a personal favorite of mine.

I have to shout out these toasters from Kansas City who went to TJ Maxx and they bought you your first piece of Ray Dunn Home.

And it is a mug that says, Number one, Mom.

You guys, i'm obsessed i know first of all i got one too they got me one that says sunday fun day this is a nice size mug huge you love to see a big mug and we pride ourselves at the toast we do a big mug we sell good mugs yeah we sell good mugs i see the allure and also like who doesn't want something that says number one mom 100 you worked so hard to be a mom and i'm like to just be number one it's a beautiful thing so much better than number two So much better.

So those are all the gifts I transported across country for you.

Thank you so much.

They are all well worth it.

They will all be getting used.

This mug will will be a while because I'm not drinking coffee yet because, like, who needs to be jittery when you're up all the fucking time?

So true.

These, thank you guys so much.

I absolutely love and adore.

Yeah, so cute, right?

There's nothing better than giving a gift to someone and like them loving it

and using it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like not like that puzzle that I got you.

Yeah, no, but actually it was Ben's 30th birthday and I got him a PS5 and like I'm very much looking forward to him using it all the time.

That's a great gift.

Very difficult to track down.

Stock X.

I overpaid majorly.

Oh, for sure.

What's this little bookstand you have going on?

So many changes.

So many changes at the studio.

So, you know, I used to have this book just sitting here and like propped up.

And do you know how many times I've knocked it over?

Like, it's so annoying.

So we ordered this gorgeous acrylic bookstand, and now it has the book standing up.

You're really just like getting everything in order.

Moving on up here.

Yeah, no.

Ever since you've been gone, you know me.

I love to clean.

I love to organize.

I love to.

This studio does look really good.

Like the kitchen net.

Yep.

The counter where we keep snacks is clean.

Jackie calls me the sweeper because like every now and then I'll get in these moods where I just like need to sweep up the place.

And I've been sweeping non-stop ever since you've been gone.

No, it looks really good, you can tell.

And I feel like you're having you, like, the sweeper new is coming out since I'm not here to like create.

Shame me.

Shame you.

Shame me for my sweeping.

She goes into sweeping mode and like everything all of a sudden is in the garbage.

Even if you were literally eating it at that current moment.

Yeah, 100%.

But it's good.

Yeah.

It looks great.

It looks great in here.

How's Haroldson asking about his auntie, obviously?

He's so good.

He's so busy.

He's always asking about his auntie.

Hopefully, you'll come by.

Yeah, I would love to.

Yeah, he misses you a lot he really does love your energy which is a surprise you know because it's it could go either way no actually your energy could be polarizing it can but it can only be polarizing to people who are like fully conscious um and i think that like my really um like annoying voice i love to sing i actually think i'm the perfect personality for a child yeah um so that doesn't shock me at all actually yeah no but i also feel like some children could get like unshky and cry and like let you know they're not here for it but he really is here for like all of your songs The romps in the treetops all day long, hopping and a popping and a singing that song.

All the little birdies on Harry Street love to hear the Harry go and tweet, tweet, tweet.

Little Harry, a

diddly day, little Harry, a,

diddly day.

Oh, little Harry, gold, you're really gonna rock tonight, little Harry, little Harry.

That's the one.

That's the one.

That's the number one most requested.

It's just crazy how, like, you know, I really have a song for every child.

Yeah.

Like Kayler's was.

It was like kind of like

a Bohemian Rhapsody moment.

Miscarella, miscarella, miscarella, miscarella, miscarella, misk, miscarella, miscarella, for misk, for misk, for misk.

Kind of a bohemian rhapsody.

Similar.

Similar.

Heavily inspired.

Definitely.

Well, you're doing well.

The singing auntie, he's doing well.

How are you?

How are the breasts?

How's everything?

Everything is good.

You know, everything is chugging along.

Yeah, swell, swole.

Everything is quite swole.

Good, good, good.

We've got an amazing show for you guys today.

We have so much to talk about.

I guess I was the last person on the show.

Yes.

So that's a good feeling to not feel like I have to talk about stories that you've already covered.

So I'm excited to talk about all the news from the long weekend that we had.

How was your weekend in Chicago and Kansas City?

It was incredible.

I'm literally broken, like beyond broken.

When my alarm went off today, I'm like, there's no way that it's alarm time.

It's four in the morning.

But it was incredible.

Like the Chicago theater was definitely a bucket list moment for me.

I wish you were there.

It was like the best night of my life, literally.

Lauren was there, so I got to see all the girlies.

Peter Krause

came.

Like it was kind of a star-studded affair.

The show was amazing.

I can't lie.

I was unbelievable.

Like, I was really so talented, so funny, so unique, so charismatic.

And then I also went to Kansas City, which really holds a special place in my heart.

The Kansas City toasters like our fears.

These gifts, are they predominantly both?

It's equal.

It's equal.

Otherwise, I would have had a favorite.

Yeah, I know, but like, you have to go to Kansas City, Jackie.

It's what you think Cleveland is.

Okay.

It is, for me, like, I need a new sweatshirt that says it's a Kansas City day.

I was like landed and I was on Zillow.

Like, that's.

That's when you know it's good.

It's a gorgeous town.

So, like, so quiet, but still, like, you know, lively.

Great bars, great restaurants, great people, Jetson Mahomes.

It's great.

What about Austin?

No, he wasn't there.

Oh, well, how great could it be then?

And that was really like the end of the tour.

I have one more show, obviously.

Madison Square Garden, tickets available at girlwithnojap.com slash tour.

You will be seeing the show for the first time, which is so crazy.

I know.

Because last time you saw it, like maybe 50 times.

Yeah, yeah.

I could DJT.

I could recite it backwards and forwards, which I do all the time.

So I'm so excited to see it, to experience it, just like as a true fan, which I am.

Yeah.

So I'm so excited.

And also like by then, I'm excited to be like out and it's just going to be like a great night.

No, I know.

Like you're going to have, you should get your glam done.

I know.

Yeah.

I've been like dreaming of getting my makeup done.

You should do it.

I'm going to, but I don't like know any makeup.

You're a makeup artist.

I've got a ton for you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You should, I feel like that's really what you need.

Like it'll make you feel so good.

Yeah, like I have to get like a new outfit.

You look stunning today.

Thank you.

We both do in our matching outfits.

We're just like so beautiful.

So

today is Tuesday and we usually do Unburden Yourselves on Monday, but I really wanted to do it today, obviously because it's a great segment, but also I did a meet and greet in Chicago at Foxtrot.

For those who don't know, Spritz is now available at Foxtrots in Chicago.

And this girl was like, I wrote into Unburden Ourselves and you haven't read it yet.

I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry.

And she told me what it was, and it was so psychotic that we had to bring it on, bring the segment on into Tuesday.

It was the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Can't wait.

Yeah.

You guys must unburden yourselves, even though it's not Monday.

Like, there's still burdens to be unburdened.

So true.

So true.

And I think we should jump right in because we have so many stories that like we just need to talk about.

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Okay, before we get into the stories, I just wanted to mention there was a shooting this morning on the subway in New York City.

And like an explosion.

And then more undetonated bombs were found or what looked to be like bombs.

Right now, 13 people are injured.

One person's in critical condition, but it's developing.

And it's just like incredibly sad.

It's making six.

Yeah, in Brooklyn.

Yeah.

So.

Agreed.

I hope everyone's okay.

And just be careful.

Like, everyone takes the subway.

It's so scary.

It's so scary and incredibly sad, but we'll keep you posted.

First story, little mindlessness.

Love mindlessness.

J-Lo and Ben Affleck are engaged again.

She announced

via her on the J-Lo newsletter.

Okay, let's talk about it.

She and Ben are engaged.

Let's talk about two things.

First, let's talk about them getting married.

This is the second time they're engaged.

And then the announcement.

Yeah, because those are two different things.

Ooh, I have so much to say on the ladder.

But the first is, this is cute.

Very happy for them.

I don't really care.

I'm not like obsessed with this story.

Maybe it's because when they were engaged the first time, like I was so young, I wasn't like my pop culture maven that I am now.

So I really honestly don't care.

I do love like the seven husbands of Jennifer Lopez.

Like I love that for her.

I really do.

I think they're cute.

The ring is pretty.

Happy for them.

Here's the thing.

I think the reason why we don't care has to do with the announcement.

Because I think if there were like iconic photos or like videos going around and everyone was like posting them, then we would be like duped into caring.

Yes, with like

I haven't really really cared about them the whole time like since they've reconnected no their reconnection I agree like I was too young to appreciate it um their reconnection like really is shocking the fact that they were engaged and now they're engaged again like is really fucking crazy yeah and I feel like when anytime we've gotten iconic photos from them like everyone posts them and like you see you see something a million times like you you think that you care but because there's no photos that are just like or even of the ring it's just we have like blurry video no him on her his knee there's nothing there's nothing so because everyone everyone not everyone is like sharing the same thing over and over again it's like oh does anyone care no it's like a mysterious engagement like there's no assets there the lack of assets i think is germane

it's germane to the situation but what's even more germane is the thirst coming from jlo i mean i guess Okay, so she basically put a video on her Instagram and was like, I have a really big announcement.

Head over to my fan page on thejlo.com, which is like her website for her fan club.

Yeah.

And on the website, there was like this video basically saying she was engaged.

And I just feel like, you know, this is really something like I would do.

Like, you know, Patreon, I have a big announcement.

And the fact that JLo's doing it definitely makes me feel better about my current situation, but also it's like hella tacky.

I'm like so confused.

Beyond.

And this is a woman with means.

Like she doesn't need

Patreon.

No, she doesn't.

So I'm so confused.

I mean, unless like, you know, her next big foray is into the newsletter service.

Right.

And she wants to

get as many clicks and subscribers.

But this is really, that's the most shocking part.

Not that Bennett are engaged again, but she's announcing via her website.

Like, it's like, it's giving reality stars.

Someone that I follow, I forget who, because I wish I could credit them, said it's giving Joe Judice.

Like,

big, shocking things.

Go to the link in my bio to watch.

Literally.

Okay, so I found out via a people magazine notification.

I'm like, oh my God, so cute.

Ran to JLo's Instagram and I see this like twisted video of her on the jlo.com and I was like, what the fuck is this?

Like, what is going on?

I was, never in my life have I been more confused.

Yeah, me too.

I saw that you posted that they were engaged, so I went to her page and it was a blurry video.

I was like, I guess she hasn't shared yet.

Right.

And like, I guess it was a PR like publicist announcement.

And even still, like, I have yet to see a photo of them like.

Together, ring.

The ring is green.

Yeah.

Or is it just the blurry video?

Right.

Is it like a reflection?

I don't know.

There's so little that we know.

And they have been like so public this whole time.

It's such a weird announcement.

It is.

It's really weird.

But let's talk about them being engaged again.

And what's funny is like People Magazine is saying like they didn't want to rush the engagement because they want to make it work.

Like, I feel like they just got back together.

Yeah.

This isn't not rushed.

It's not rush.

It's like a year, right?

No, I think it's less.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that's crazy.

I mean.

I like love that this is J-Lo's thing.

Like she just bops from engagement to engagement.

She collects these like stunning, enormous rings from these wealthy men.

Love that for her.

I don't know if this is going to be the one, you know.

I hope that it is.

I always hope that it is.

Yeah.

For everyone.

Yeah, of course.

Thank you.

So I don't know.

Like, I don't know the truth, but I think it's cute.

I'm reticent to be excited because I was burned by A-Rod.

Oh, my God.

I'm not a bad person.

Bless you.

So I was like really on board my ship for her and A-Rod.

I thought they were the perfect couple.

And then they turned out to be quite the opposite.

So I don't, I just don't want to get excited.

Yeah, but I do think that if she's going, like, you know, it takes a lot to get back with someone who really publicly rejected you.

And so I think that like the fact that they're all in again, it has to be real.

I mean, yes, but I don't know.

I could see this not working out for sure.

I guess anything could happen.

Right, because I thought in no way, shape, or form are her and A-Rod ever going to break up.

Like, I thought they were the perfect couple.

I couldn't have picked two people more perfect for each other.

And then like, not only did they not work out, it was like the most chaotic, disgusting mess.

Like, he really embarrassed her.

He was like acting a fool.

Like, I never thought.

So, I don't know what to think when it comes to J-Lo, honestly.

And part of me wants this to not be her last engagement because I love this for her, you know?

Yeah.

Did you watch Watch What Happens Live last night?

No.

Who's on?

I did.

Maya and Lala Kent.

And I just have to say it was such a good episode.

The two of them were so classy.

Maya from Summerhouse.

Maya from Summerhouse.

And it was just so good.

I can't even tell you.

Plus, they're both Bravo Bravo fans, so they were just talking about like all Bravo shows.

And Andy asked Lala, like, you know, you're on Watch What Happens Live.

A lot of people watch.

Like, do you want to manifest like, you know, going out with anyone?

Like, when Jayla was here, she was talking about A-Rod.

And of course, that didn't work out.

But it's crazy that their relationship started and ended on Bravo.

Totally.

Yeah.

And Lala had such a good answer.

She was like, I would say you, Andy, but you're not into this.

Oh, my God.

Did you see Andy Cohen's Instagram stories from like two nights ago?

No.

He was in the back of a car and he was like, I was just standing on 6th Avenue, could not find a cab.

I'm so late.

And like two Bravo fans like picked him up.

It was like a married couple.

The girl in the front seat was so pregnant.

Her husband was in the other, the drive, the driver's seat, and he was in the back and they were taking him uptown.

And it was so funny.

Now I want to get a car and like peruse the West Village like looking for Andy.

That is really funny.

Andy's never going to have to take another cab again.

No, but now he can't do it again because now he knows people like you are coming.

Yeah.

Who are like looking for a show and looking for a job who are going to pitch him the whole way.

Andy, I've got this great morning show for you.

I mean, Bravo really does need a morning show but yeah even though morning shows are like flailing left right and center the real

not this one not yet the morning the real has been canceled but that's an afternoon show is it i think it's daytime yeah morning for us morning for us right depends who you are um and then another show shadows of sunset was also canceled yeah that is a huge blow for people like me like i'm I'm devastated.

I don't understand why it was canceled, though.

Like, is it the ratings?

Is it the cast not wanting to do it anymore?

First of all, the cast is obsessed with the show.

And there's so much offline drama.

I mean, Mike Shoehead was arrested for domestic violence literally last week.

So there's stuff going on.

I don't know.

I don't know what the reason was.

I do believe they have pretty strong ratings.

Yeah.

So I was really, really shocked by this.

I'm so upset.

Like, I could talk about my love for Shahs of Sunset.

Cans look sick.

I just love that show more than life.

You look like a piece of wood.

Like, so good.

And I'm devastated.

That was really one of my favorite shows of all time.

I'm sorry.

And you know what?

I'm glad that we, you know, on this show got to interview Reza, MJ, like the two favorites.

We had Gigi on.

I'm glad that, like, I got my pound of flesh.

We had

Shervin.

Swervin Chervin.

We did.

Like, we did good.

But I'm heartbroken.

Like, it's so good.

I'm sorry.

And I never got to have

Destiny on.

Like, so many people.

Like,

just know, and the Shadows of Sunset fandom is small but mighty, and just know I stand with you.

Thank you.

That's beautiful, Claudia.

Thank you.

Claudia, that's beautiful.

So, back to JLo and Ben.

Overall thoughts,

weird announcement.

I think it takes away from the engagement.

The specialness.

Yeah, but maybe they wanted it to be low-key and get subscribers for the newsletter.

Right.

Okay.

Can we go to onthejlo.com?

Like, what is required?

I actually have never even been there.

Oh, okay.

That's it.

It's extremely promotional.

It looks like

a real real newsletter.

Oh, I thought that was like a 404 page not found.

No, no, no.

Oh, it's like a subway.

Okay, so I put my email in.

Well, you're about to sign up if you put your email in.

Yeah, except sign up.

Welcome to my inner circle.

You're all signed up.

An email has been sent to Block.

Check your email for regular updates.

So does that mean I don't get the update now?

Oh, so it's just a newsletter?

Yeah, and you'll get access to news, special experiences, exclusive content, and more.

Okay, so it's not.

I got to unsubscribe.

Sorry.

Like, I didn't realize.

I thought I would put my email in and get like a whole website.

No, so it's not Patreon.

It's not Patreon.

It's like Substack.

Damn.

It's like Substack.

Yeah.

Okay.

I got to unsubscribe.

I'll do that later.

Anyways.

Sorry.

We just have some breaking news.

Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson went on a double date with Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez.

Okay, so we're going to skip to the next story, which is everything Kardashian.

We're putting them all in one story.

One story.

We heard some of your cries.

We hope some of your cries, but it's not reasonable.

I'm sorry, because they're doing the most press they've ever done in their lives.

They're giving us all of these juicy tidbits.

Everyone is more relevant than ever.

Like, we could literally have chosen 10 Kardashian stories today.

And I'm not going to apologize.

We'll just do one big blog.

Because they're the most interesting women on the planet.

Most interesting to look at, for sure.

Let's start with the premiere, which was Thursday night, the premiere of the Kardashians.

Everyone showed up and showed out except for Kendall and arguably maybe not Kylie.

Yeah, Kylie, like, was photographed well after everyone else was.

A lot of people thought maybe she had a step and repeat in her living room because she wasn't photographed with anyone.

Like, the family photo was Chris, Courtney, Chloe, and Kim.

Yeah, and, like, no one, she wasn't in any Getty images.

She's not in the background of anything.

So people think, like, she either faked going or she, like, took all her separate photos so that she could do with them what she wanted, but she was there.

Yeah, I don't know why Kendall wasn't there.

Kendall is sick.

Oh, okay.

There's just been like a lot of press.

Kylie's been missing.

She wasn't on Kimmel.

Right.

But then they did do this big access Hollywood thing, which I thought was like the best interview that I'd seen.

Who was the interviewer?

I think it was the person was behind the stage.

Yeah.

But I mean, behind the camera, but I think it was Kit Hoover, who when we were on Access Hollywood is the nicest woman ever.

I think it was her.

Okay.

And I believe her daughters are toasters.

Like, just want to put that out there.

But she was asking the pertinent questions to the, she had all of them.

Yeah.

And of course, the question that she asked that everyone wants to know is like, what's up with the name of your baby, Kylie?

Right.

And I think Kylie gave such a reasonable response.

She was like, you don't understand.

Like, they don't, at the hospital, you have 10 days to sign the birth certificate, so you're rushed.

And she has a couple names, she doesn't know what she's going to end up with, but she doesn't want to say it because she might change her mind again.

Yeah, and all the sisters were like, It is the hardest thing in the world to name.

That's what I've been saying, yeah, it is.

That's what I've been saying.

It's the hardest thing ever to name a human being, and that's what they were saying.

And I'm glad to know that, like, Kylie still doesn't have a name, it's not that she's withholding from us, like, right, she still hasn't decided because also now she's bought herself some time.

Like, try out a few different names this week.

Maybe it'll be Haroldson, right?

Next week, it could be Little Harry,

next week.

It could be Valentine.

Like, you know,

you never know.

I really appreciated the

candidness.

Yeah, the candicity.

Candicity.

And the candidacenship.

Also, True had her birthday, and on the gift bags, it said baby Webster.

So they're not like

hiding anything from us.

And they've been so open this week.

Yes.

That I really just don't feel, like, even when allegedly Kit

perhaps potentially

asked the question of like who's going to have like as much kids as Chris like Courtney said that she wants two more Kim raised her thing which means that she's gonna wants to have more kids like we're just getting so much information now back to the premiere something that was bothering me about myself after the episode that we did on Thursday was like we were like Kylie was at the basketball game but she wasn't on Kimmel like Kylie's a new mom and like I just can't believe I wasn't understanding that like sometimes you can go to a basketball game but you can't also do Kimmel the same day

and that's with all this press stuff I feel like she's at maybe like half of it yeah but she has a a new baby at home.

Yeah, yeah.

Like imagine you're promoting the biggest show.

Like this is a really like the biggest thing that your family's doing, but like you've got Haroldson at home.

Like she's doing as much as she can.

Of course, of course, of course.

You know?

Of course, of course.

And I feel like I wasn't sympathetic towards that when I'm literally in the exact same position.

So you're apologizing.

I'm apologizing, yeah.

I am apologizing to Kylie because I know she was listening.

Yeah, 100%.

The premiere was everything of the sort.

Pete was there.

They did not walk the carpet together, but we did get a bunch of pictures of them holding hands, like backstage.

And then Kim posted yesterday, because you know Kim loves to post like delayed she doesn't post in real time

she posted like pictures of them getting dinner afterwards two pictures a carousel both like

the same setup but just like different faces I was taking in every ounce of this picture like first of all the Die Coke stunning like I was just bereft the plates like I think Kim's plate had a crust on it um there was also um it looked like they were done eating but there was like a full salad in the middle that had a mid-touch which I just thought was funny relatable yeah it's like if you're at a pizza plate it's like while you're ordering a salad, yeah.

No, the meal looked delicious.

She posted the meal on her story, like when she was there, and it just looked did she say what restaurant was?

No, but we gotta go.

I was like just guessing.

I think it's John and Vinny's, but that's just me being like so guessed.

That's what it was.

Oh, okay.

But I just want to say, I didn't even see that anywhere.

I was just like doing

guest guesswork, investigative work.

Okay, well, whenever the next time we're in LA is, we have to go there.

We have to sit at the bottom.

It looked phenomenal.

So she posted pictures of them like being lovey and cute.

And like they're full steam ahead.

And like now she's talking about him impressed.

She's not even being coy.

He was at the red carpet.

They didn't give us the photo moment, which was fine because like it was cute to see them behind the scenes and like him just being really supportive.

She was asked by someone about the Met.

Yes, I was just going to say that.

And she said something so interesting, like she'll go if the dress fits.

Right.

Like the dress can't be altered.

The dress can't be altered.

So she won't know until like a week before if she's able to go because if she doesn't fit into the dress, she's not going.

There's no way she's not going.

Isn't she on the committee this year?

I don't know.

And also, I I saw yesterday that the theme this year, again, is like America at Legion Lexicon, whatever.

Right.

America's steeny lexicon.

Yeah, right.

Right.

But with a focus on the Gilded Age.

So I'm actually really excited.

Stunning.

Yeah, stunning.

So who knows what Kim's going to be wearing, but she better be there and she better be with Pete, especially since we've also recently learned that the first time that they like sort of connected was at the Met Gala this year.

Yeah, so on the Not Skinny Me Not Beth podcast, she told the story of like, he basically was like, they hadn't announced that she was going to be on SNL yet like to the public but everyone who works at snl knew and they were talking about it at the met gala and he was like well if you need like any help or anything like take my number but she was wearing you know that

outfit that that her hands were in gloves and she's like oh sorry like i can't use my phone right now because my fingers don't work and he was like okay that's fine and then walked away and she was like no wait but like you take my phone number and he didn't hear and just like they never connected and they didn't even really like connect at s n l he didn't come to the after party for her every she said literally everyone came.

Even Rami Malik, who was hosting next week.

Yeah.

Everyone came except for Pete.

And they didn't connect until later.

Right.

And we'll find out how they connected on the show.

She wasn't ready to share that with us.

Plus, there has to be like something for us that's like new information.

There's also apparently like a lot that happens that we don't know about.

Like I remember when Kanye was like, you know.

Posting a lot on social media.

He was talking about like a sex tape, a second sex tape with Ray J.

And that's apparently what happens in the first episode.

And that's burned them to the ground.

Yes.

Got it.

Yes.

Okay.

Very exciting.

The show premieres on the 14th at midnight, though.

So like the 13th.

So is that tonight?

What's today's date?

Today's the 12th.

Oh, okay.

So tomorrow at midnight.

Oh, my God.

I'll have to stay up.

Yeah.

I'm so excited.

Yeah.

So I think that's everything, all of the new information that they've shared with us.

Yes, I think so too.

And all the press that they've done.

And they went on a double date with Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos.

And like, it sounds random, but obviously there's a connection between Pete Davidson and Jeff Bezos because he was going to go on Blue Origin, but last minute I had to like change, I think, scheduling conflict.

Right.

So obviously, like, they're friends.

Interesting.

I'm like, not, I don't know why I'm like not here for it.

I wish it was Elon and Grimes.

No, I'm not here for it at all.

Like, Kim and Pete, to me, like, are so interesting.

And you have to, like, level up with your double dates.

Like, me and Ben would be perfect.

Like, just perfect, perfect, perfect.

Yeah.

So you're saying that Jeff Bezos and Lorna are stepped down for them.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I am saying that.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think that's what I said.

Everyone would agree.

Hun Rimmer's on.

Yeah, but that's cute that they're double dating

and whatnot.

Yeah.

I just feel like someone else.

Yeah.

I'm really looking forward to seeing like this side of Pete that like clearly everyone sees and knows and loves.

And we're not really privy to all the time.

Yeah.

Another thing about the premiere is that Courtney walked blended family style with only rain from her family and then Alabama, Landon, and the older one whose name I can't remember.

It was a blended moment.

Very Drew Barrymore, Adam Sandler.

You love to see it.

You do.

You do.

And then Kim went on not skating but not fab podcast.

I listened this morning.

Me too.

She's talking about SNL.

She's talking about Kanye.

So she's just so mature and so always.

Oh, like it's so admirable.

I can't.

Like, and Amanda was like, but like, didn't that annoy you?

And she's like, no.

No.

It didn't.

Yeah.

So honestly, in so many ways, I don't relate to Kim.

Right, but I'm sure it's easy to be so mature and take the high road when she's so happy.

Yeah.

You know, and she'll do whatever she needs to do to keep it cool over there and she can enjoy this season of her life.

That's true.

You know, that's true.

Yeah, I feel that.

So that concludes our Kardashian segment.

But you never know if we're going to circle back to them.

You never know.

All roads do lead back, and that's not our fault.

100%.

100%.

100%.

Next story.

A little more love news that Claudia and I are just like fucking quaking over.

Nicola Pelts married Brooklyn Becca.

Nicola.

Nicola.

Sorry.

I guess I'm not that quaky.

Quakey.

Obsess.

Like, someone has to seriously take me to the hospital.

The way I would take a billet for these two people.

And their Jewish wedding ceremony.

I know.

And a week ago, like, I couldn't, like, I wasn't even clear on what was going on.

Obsessed to the nth degree.

Here's why I'm so, okay.

So here's just the details.

Nicola Peltz, you might know her as Nicola Ann Peltz on Instagram.

Right.

Married Brooklyn Beckham in Palm Beach.

She's wearing Valentino.

She's giving Claudia Schiffer.

Claudia Schiffer then reposted.

So excited to be the inspo.

Brooklyn Beckham, obviously, as you know, is the

son of Victoria Beckham and David Beckham, and Nicola is the daughter of the billionaire.

So raise your hand if you followed Nicola Pelts on Instagram this week.

Oh, I don't think I did yet, but I'm so close because I do it.

I've been to her page now like four times.

It's so fucking premium.

She looks for new pictures.

It's so premium.

I watched her story, like everything.

Let me tell you why I'm so obsessed with this wedding.

First of all, the fact that she's

my second search.

Just follow her.

It's pre-week.

Followed.

It's done.

Here's why I'm obsessed.

First of all, and I didn't even know, but the fact that

she had Brooklyn

back in wearing a yarmulke because she is Jewish and they were married by a rabbi, like that just

makes my heart flutter.

I never in my life saw someone so fucking beautiful in my life.

This dress, so simple, but so complicated.

Like the gloves, the hair.

And when she said Claudia Schiffer was her hair inspiration, I saw it.

Everything was just top, top, top tier.

Her house.

It was at her house, her father's house, $100 million house in Palm Beach.

Obsessed.

Got to get me one of those.

Need more pictures.

Like,

I will die.

Like, I just need more pictures.

So many celebs were there.

Yvolon Gore, Tommy Hill figure.

And that's the most iconic part.

The wedding was just, like, so filled with celebrities that, like, the one picture they sold to Vogue as like the main photo for the exclusive.

Who's in the background?

Tommy Hill figure.

Like, that's just how.

I see.

That's how elegant.

You see it.

There he is.

That's just how elegant they are.

Like, there were so many like famous rich people.

They just couldn't help but get one in the background.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Iconic.

So iconic.

I, so, we, like, they've been around for a while, and they, like, are, you know, very cute and very, very into each other and publicly into each other, but they're like a little bit younger than us, so we were not really dabbling.

And what's interesting is that Brooklyn Beckham is 23, Nicola Pelts is 27.

Oh, that is interesting.

So, just unique, unique factors, things we need to do.

So, she's just like so mature, but I feel like for me, I found it like a warm place for them when they went to the Met Gala last year.

And, like, they looked aces.

And I actually feel like her Met Gala look like kind of resembles her wedding look.

i feel like she was like this suits me it was you know like a classic uh silhouette and gloves and they just like looked so darling yeah and there's just like

there's just something so like it about this i

she's an it girl this wedding was the the it of the century like and you might not know her because her her insertion bio is like actor director producer

Love you, dear lady.

Stunner.

Yeah, never heard of any of your work.

Let me let me

IMDB.

She's like, she is where she is because she's the daughter of a billionaire.

And you know what?

That doesn't even bother me.

Like, get it.

Get more opportunities.

Like, I love it.

I love it.

I want to see her more.

Yeah.

Like, clearly.

Also, do you remember?

Because this was always my, like, now my association with her will be like this it, period.

But do you remember when like Bella Thorne was like talking about like she was cryptically talking about like a mean girl in Hollywood?

Yes.

Oh my god.

Yes.

And it was Nicola, pretty sure.

That's so funny that that's your association.

I had my association up until this weekend.

Here's,

okay, my association was she used to date ex-boyfriend.

Hold on.

I think she used to date Alex Pettifer.

Do you remember him?

Yes.

Did they date Alex?

He's in so many of my favorite movies.

Pediphar, yeah, like bad movies.

Did they ever date?

Agree to disagree.

Maybe they were just a movie.

That doesn't ring a bell to me.

That doesn't ring a bell.

They were in a movie together, so it's like hard to find any.

I thought that that's like my association.

I don't know why.

No, my association was like this Bella Thorne cryptic thing where she was like, I know exactly what you're talking about.

A mean girl in Hollywood

who was like bullying her and stuff.

And so like, I guess up until this weekend, I just had like kind of a negative association.

But now I don't think so.

No, I just need more photos.

Like, thank God to the Daily Mail for doing the Lord's work with like the blurry drone footages They had three enormous tents in her backyard like one for ceremony one for reception Maybe one for after party or cocktail hour.

It was so beautifully done like so elegant and these pictures.

It's just insane.

She looks like she's in like a grand country club and it's literally her house.

Stunning.

I think also she might have dated Greg Sulkin.

Stop.

Because I'm Googling it and like they were in a movie together and I was also just like having that association and that would make sense why Bella like oh, right.

I don't know unique yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll have Desclaure and Elizabeth yeah yeah yeah she'll know everything

um so I'm just obsessed with this like I need more photos I cannot consume enough content so happy for them and then the Victoria and David of it all like just it's too much like did you see like the next morning Nicola and Brooklyn and then David and Victoria like went to brunch in matching blue convertibles like vintage convertibles driving around Palm Beach like the paparazzi pictures it was so rich it was it's too much no it's too much and they say we don't have royalty here this is this very much feels like a royal wedding honestly yeah and like how the exclusive was with British vogue just like very elevated very elegant not like other weddings no there was something incredibly special about it in addition to the fact that it was a Jewish wedding oh I know which you just love to see and I had myself wondering if I was like oh yeah David Beckham

I never I didn't think for one second it was her oh and the most interesting thing about all of this is like okay you know When we hear these two, obviously we've heard of Brooklyn Beckham, I think a little bit more than we've heard of Nicola Peltz.

and Brooklyn Beckham was the one who had to sign a prenup because she's and like his family's worth 500 million a measly 500 million her dad Nicola's dad is like so rich She had to give him a prenup.

Yeah, and also he's taking her last name they're the Peltz Beckhams.

Well, okay, that's interesting.

Yeah, so his I Victoria's cash okay, so Nicola.

Yeah, I know because it looks like the perfect wedding, but you know what even rich people have crazy in love problems because basically everyone's been talking about how like they're so modern, they're so progressive, like he respects women, because he is now Brooklyn Peltz Beckham.

She is Nicola Peltz Beckham.

And her Instagram, when she announced the wedding, was Mr.

and Mrs.

Peltz Beckham.

So they're doing like a hyphen middle name thing.

And everyone has been referring to them as Peltz Beckham, Peltz Beckham, Peltz Beckham.

Then Victoria Beckham posted on Instagram from the wedding and was like, Mr.

and Mrs.

Beckham.

So maybe it was just an oversight.

I was like, I don't know.

I don't know if maybe someone on her team, but it was the only thing that like was a crack in the surface.

Yeah, there's something, something.

Totally.

And also, just the constant, when I, also, everything is so misleading because all the headlines are like, Brooklyn's taking her last name.

I'm like, okay, so he's Brooklyn Pelts.

Right, he's not.

He's not.

They're like combining, which I actually love because I feel like even in our family, we'll be like, oh, the Ashray Shapiros.

It's just, it works.

You can't do it forever because then everyone would have like thing of two last names, four last names.

So it's like squared, like

two, four,

16, 36.

I know.

We do that too.

Like the Ashro Shapiros, the Ashre Safari's, 100%.

Yeah.

But,

and also, like

this is maybe me just being like such an independent female like I like don't subscribe to the changing of names like I used when I like was younger I'm like I'm gonna get married I'm gonna be like you know Claudia Rockefeller and

now I'm like first of all logistically there's no fucking way I'm filling out all that paperwork are you okay

There's no way I'm filling out all that paperwork.

And also, like, it's my fucking name.

Like, you're kidding me.

Like, I to change my name.

That's like just asking a lot like i'm not doing it no it's a lot and then just wait till you are pregnant and birth a child and it's like what why i was like i did this so you need this fucker's last name right

right it's so it's so crazy and i agree when i was like before i was in it i was like yeah of course like change your name you don't want to be like someone who's like how's sweet who's so stubborn about it right but now it's just like also for me like being chacky oh right no and then we're gonna unless i married someone last name oh you should have yeah married your cousin then then i'm not gonna necessarily change right Right.

It's even harder when you're building a brand.

It's even harder when you're building a brand.

Look at KKW.

Right, exactly.

And that's just what we need, another rebrand.

Right.

No, it's really like, it's crazy.

I'm so here for what they're doing.

Yeah.

It's not for everyone.

And as we've stated, like, the actual.

Victoria obviously doesn't subscribe to it either.

Yeah, but the here and now, it's really quite beautiful.

So I'm so glad we got to talk about this wedding because obsessed doesn't even begin.

I'm like scraping the bottom of the barrel for content.

Like, and like a couple people I follow on Instagram were there, and I'm just just like, send me pics.

Really?

Yeah.

Exciting.

So good.

So before we move on, I just want to let everyone know that today's episode is brought to you by Curology.

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Thank you, Claudia.

It's a pleasure.

Our next story, Britney Spears is leaving fans confused with an Instagram post about, quote, having a baby.

So, Britney Spears posted to Instagram letting us know that she was pregnant.

Question mark, or is it a food baby?

We're not sure.

She said, I lost so much weight to go on my Maui trip only to gain it back.

I thought, geez, what happened to my stomach?

My husband said, No, you're food pregnant, silly.

So, I got a pregnancy test, and uh, well, I am having a baby.

Four days later, I got a little more food pregnant.

It's growing.

If two are in there, I might just lose it.

I obviously won't be going out as much due to the peps getting their money shots of me like they unfortunately already have.

It's hard because when I was pregnant, I had perinatal depression.

She also talks about her experience with depression, and she's glad that more people are talking about it now.

But here's the thing: she just said, I'm pregnant with a baby.

I'm having a, she said, quote, no, I don't think she's pregnant.

But she said, oh, well, it sounds like a really bad joke, like about a food baby that she, like, took the joke a little too far oh you think so I don't think she's pregnant she said I am having a baby quote

but yeah but what about the context around the sentence no but like that was just like the way to how she discovered she was pregnant like she was a little belly is it a food and then she said four days later she had another food baby because she said the baby's growing

I don't I just want to I don't I think she's not pregnant um

I'm just like she just told us she's pregnant or she told us she's having a baby so like why don't we just believe her no I know it's like when I was looking for the stories it was like I just searched searched Britney Spears and I was like fans are confused Britney leaves fans wondering when it sounds like she was pretty clear, but even me I don't think she's pregnant.

Yeah, no, I

even though she said so this could be confusing.

Maybe it was a joke that she got twisted.

I don't know.

Yeah, but her Instagram captions are just very difficult to decipher.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a hard way to keep up with her.

She did also refer to Sam as her husband, which was shocking.

Was that new news?

Yeah, they're engaged.

Is that true even?

Sometimes, like, I feel like I've called everyone.

Kylie and Travis, like, we're calling each other wife and husband.

I don't know.

I call everyone like someone's husband, like, once you've been dating for a long time.

Agreed, agreed.

So, I don't know.

I don't know what to take from this.

I'm still waiting for the Britney Sit-Down, the Britney book.

And it was reported that Britney has started a memoir

as predicted by me.

Hopefully, it's less confusing than these captions.

No, I know.

Like, she, I do believe, like, every celebrity, she'll need to work with a writer because and make it Jessica Simpson's ghostwriter.

Yeah, because Britney is a lot of things, but she's not really concise.

And the book will be 2,000 pages unless she works with a writer.

Yeah, with like a lot of emojis.

I was going to say, no emojis.

Yeah.

So I

don't think she's pregnant.

I just want to go on the record and say.

Okay, but she said that she's having a baby.

That it could be a food baby.

No, I don't.

You don't either.

Okay, yeah, no, I don't.

I don't know, honestly.

I mean, like, she's.

I'm not the Britney expert.

I feel like she's definitely having a lot of sex.

She's going on all these trips, romantic trips.

She's free.

She's celebrating.

She says that she has said that she wants more kids.

Yeah, and she, right.

But I don't know.

I'm still a little bit more.

No, you just like still don't see it.

It's right in front of us, but still, no.

I'm not seeing it.

Okay.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Which is a story that is so dear to my heart.

And I have a lot of thoughts.

And Claudia has a song that she's going to lead us in with.

Turn your volume down for anyone with a sleeping baby, which now I am sympathetic.

I really am.

So let's give them from

four,

three,

two,

one.

It's the final story.

Nicola Belts and Brooklyn Makeup, please adopt me.

And that's a magic number.

Okay, our fifth and final story: a little exciting historical content news.

The crown prequel is in the works at Netflix.

Thank God, because every time they like they refuse to prolong the show.

They're like, nope, this is the final season, final season, even though we're obsessed.

So, thank God.

Thank God.

And I can't remember if I said it on this show, but I don't think that I did.

Otherwise, like, more people would be tagging me in this.

But, you know, I'm obsessed with the show Victoria.

It's only had three seasons.

Oh, and by the way.

Because I've been traveling so much this month, I have made, I'm on season two now.

Like, I've made so much progress.

It's so good.

It's so good.

So it's been three seasons, and it's unclear if it's coming back for season four.

Actually, like recently, Ryan, by the way, I saw like a Facebook comment on like a fan page for the show Victoria from just like someone who said that they're waiting longer for Jenna Coleman to age get older right so that they don't have to do too much makeup but like how much is she gonna age what are we gonna wait 10 years no I know and she's like an actress in Hollywood so she's probably not loving this like being forced to age when she wants to preventatively just get the Botox but really like it was a rumor started by like a fan in the British countryside so like

Don't don't take but I thought it was I thought he had

anyways It's been three seasons It doesn't feel like season four is coming and I actually said to someone if whoever it was Please show yourself so I don't look like I'm making this up I said that it should the

crown show should absorb this and make it the crown prequel well what year is

is

Victoria Victoria starts in like the 1860s I no no the 1840s and 50s and then this show okay so this prequel is speculated that it will kick off with the death of Queen Victoria in 1901.

Got it.

Spoiler alert, Queen Victoria dies.

Spoiler alert.

But like, why not back it up a little bit?

Give us Victoria.

She's a literal queen, and she's so fascinating.

Right, legendary.

She's so fascinating.

Yeah.

You guys have to watch Victoria.

Like, if you take nothing else away from the show, watch Victoria.

It's really good.

I watch it too.

And if Claudia likes it.

Yeah.

It took me like a second to get into it.

I'm not going to lie.

Yeah, it takes a second because you're like, this is a really long time ago.

Yeah, right, right.

You know?

And it's like the thing with Downtown Abbey that I liked so much, it was like really like the turn of the century.

Like,

you know, from the beginning to the end, like, so much had happened, so many inventions.

They got electricity.

No, it's really about them like embracing modernity.

And you can

see how much the world changed in those 20 years, roughly.

More innovation and...

technological advances than like we've experienced in our lifetime.

Exactly.

So like with Victoria

Victoria too, like the train,

working, gaslighting, the steam train, yeah.

The train.

Oh Oh, my God.

Don't you just love Albert?

I don't, actually.

Really?

Yeah.

He's like such an innovator.

He's.

Actually,

you're going to start to hate him more.

And also, like, this is going to be really mean, but like, he's kind of ugly.

Like, Victoria is so much prettier.

You know that they dated in real life.

No, the actresses?

The actors.

And they, like, while they were filming, they were dating.

I just think the show makes him look ugly, like, with his big sideburns and his, like, hair.

It's just not the vibe.

Well, I'm sure.

I'm sure he's very handsome in real life.

Yeah, but I also think think that they had to, like, these are stunning actors, and I don't think the real people

were as stunning.

But you know what?

I don't mind them taking a little creative.

I love a glamatization of history.

Yeah.

And it's really on the nose of what happened.

Yeah.

Anyways, keep watching.

I will.

Keep me updated on your thoughts.

I will.

But Crown People, you know what, for fans of Victoria, then the Crown Prequel will tackle a different era, and I'm here for that as well.

Me too.

I'm just happy we're getting more Crown content because The Crown is literally one of the best shows ever made.

And for some reason, I mean, I know, I understand why.

Like, they're reaching a point in history that's kind of close to current events.

Yeah, no, and there would just be like too many enemies.

There's too many cooks in the kitchen opinions.

Who knows what happened?

History hasn't been written yet.

Right.

I think like Diana is really like the last thing we can consider like history.

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

They don't want to make enemies with people who are living.

Like, I can get that, even though, like, the queen is still alive.

But it is quite favorable towards towards the queen.

So, I'm, I'm just grateful we're getting more content because it's so well done.

It's, I think, very accurate, and it's just a gorgeous show.

So, any news that we're getting more content is great news for me.

Yeah, I'm really excited, especially because, like, post-Victoria, like, I'm familiar with how things unravel after that, but I can never like fully remember it.

So, this will have it seared into my brain.

Yeah, I love it.

Um, and I love you, and I love the toasters who are going to unburden themselves for us

in the next segment.

So, unburden ourselves, is it unburden yourselves?

Yourselves.

You really need to work on the branding.

It's yourselves.

So unburden yourselves is a segment we started here where you guys can write into unburden yourselves at gmail.com.

If there's something that's weighing on you, like something really embarrassing you did over the weekend that you just want to unburden, do write in.

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Okay, you ready?

Yes.

Hey, gorgeous girls.

Hi.

My toxic trait is that whenever there's a unisex bathroom in a public space, I feel compelled to have sex in it.

So last weekend, when I was at a coworker's black tie wedding and learned that the bathroom was unisex, I immediately knew I had to have sex while I was in there.

I got pretty drunk, which wasn't a big deal because all the coworkers were there.

And I told my fiancé that we should go to the bathroom.

Okay.

He says she has a fiancé.

So she was like, you know, like now you have to find someone.

Right.

That's what I thought too.

He politely declined as any sane person would in that moment.

And in my drunken state, I decided that I needed to do something to entice him.

So while we were at the table eating dinner, I took out my boob.

Just one boob.

My coworker next to me quickly realized I had my tit out, exclaimed, and helped me get back in my dress.

Honestly, I'm not sure if that's the worst part.

After dancing for a while, a group of us went outside to cool off.

I again tried to get my fiancé to come with me in the bathroom and he again declined.

My counteroffer this time was that I would lick his balls.

When he declined again, I started asking all of my male coworkers and the female coworkers' husbands if they'd rather sit outside or get their balls licked.

Fucking cry.

When my fiancé and I were recapping this the next day, he reminded me that I took out the boob with the pierced nipple, to which I replied, well, why would I take out the nipple that isn't pierced?

His logical response, why would you take out either of your boobs?

I think I need to stop drinking with my coworkers, lol.

You know what?

I kind of agree.

Like, this story is funny, and it's only like kind of bad because you're with people you work with.

Yes.

So I just think like, you sound like a great time.

You do.

I got a party with you.

You do, but you could take it down one or two notches.

I mean, asking your female coworkers' husbands if they'd rather sit outside or get their balls lit.

That to me, that's where she really crosses the line.

Right, other people's husbands.

Assuming you're at a table, there's other males there and you have your breasts out like that would also bother me.

But like to be the girl who's like, you know,

it's a little pick-me to be like, would you rather?

Yeah, yeah.

No, I'd rather sit outside.

No.

You have to stop drinking with your coworkers.

Absolutely.

But I kind of want to know what your fiancé's take was on all this because it sounds like he was like thinking it was funny and like that makes me love him that he's not like right but it sounds like it's just another day with you right now you sound awesome you do sound awesome and i don't want to kill your spirit whatsoever but the coworkers is what makes it a problem yeah but you know what what you do outside the office it doesn't matter the thing is then you have to answer for it inside the office office, and then people are looking at you.

And you spend so much time at work, so you try not to make your time at work more difficult than it needs to be.

But it sounds like you're not someone who's concerned with what other people think.

You are like a walking HR violation, but I love that.

But it was outside the office, right?

It doesn't count.

It doesn't count.

I don't know.

I don't think it counts.

I don't think so.

I don't think it does.

That would be weird if like HR was monitoring what you do in the real world.

Like, that would be like

big damage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I, you, like,

it's, if, if it's not bothering you, the only thing I would, like, sort of reprimand you for is, like, the coworker element.

Yes, agree.

Like, do this with your friends from college, you know?

Yeah, but it sounds like, I mean, maybe the coworkers, you just have this, like, good drinking culture or something.

But in general, like certain like work cultures outside of like the workplace, people who are like really close and they get really wasted, it can be really toxic.

Yeah, no, my advice to anyone in general, I think it's just like good advice is just like not to really get drunk at work events or around work people.

But that's also because like I'm a deeply awkward person.

And if any, like I can barely like answer for myself

in a corporate situation, let alone drunk me.

Yeah.

I can't answer for her.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

I would have to, I would leave.

Yeah.

I miss her.

Yeah.

No.

Miss her definitely.

She'll be back, but not in any sort of corporate environment.

I mean, do you often hang out in corporate environments?

No, no, not anymore.

But if and when I, when I did, you know, like a holiday party, two drink maximum.

I agree.

Have Patty Patty Stinger on your shoulder.

Agree.

You'll thank me.

All right, next up, ladies, I'm currently visiting my husband's extended family for his cousin's wedding, and I met a lot of his relatives for their first time here today.

We spent the day with his cousins.

She's an exciting day up.

Yeah, she's desperate.

We spent the day with his cousins, aunts, uncles, and I was so happy with how everything went until I was changing out of my dress.

At the end of the night, and I saw a large period stain on my dress.

It was light spotting and I was wearing dark underwear, so I didn't notice when I went to the bathroom earlier in the day, but my white and blue gingham dress showed every little mark.

I immediately asked my husband, and he said, yeah, I saw it earlier, but thought it wasn't a big deal, and there was nothing you could do about it, so it wasn't worth telling you and making you anxious about it for the rest of the day.

He also said all his cousins are guys and wouldn't know what it was.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I, of course, let him know this was such a fucking asshole move and to immediately tell me the second he saw something next time.

I know this is silly, but is there anything more humiliating than a period stain?

It was so obvious and there's no way it went unnoticed.

The entire trip has now been stained with this incident.

I'm now that girl that got her period on her dress.

I want to evacuate the country before I even go to to the wedding this weekend, FML.

I want to say, I do think your husband's heart was in the right place, but like boys are just morons.

You could have tied something around your waist.

You could have went to the bathroom, gotten the stain out, and then like put toilet paper in your underwear.

Like, there was a million things you could have done.

There was a million things you could do.

But I do think, like, this is him not being an asshole, just being like so dumb.

Like, of course.

But with the purest of hearts.

Of course.

But you have to live with the fact that you thought you were making this amazing impression on everyone.

And it's like the whole time you had food in your teeth, you you know?

100%.

But I want to give you an alternate perspective to think of.

This is her boyfriend, she was meeting a family for the first time, right?

So look at you.

You are just, you have your period, like you're so fertile.

Right, right.

You're ready to be.

You were showing off.

You're ready to have this man's children, to bring grandchildren, nieces, nephews,

generations.

And I think

if they have any respect for symbolism,

that's what they will have got.

Yeah, okay.

I also do want to say, it's entirely possible like people didn't see it.

Because if there was like a girl aunt or a girl cousin, a girl would have pulled you over and be like, bitch, you got your period.

Here's a tampon.

I'll come through the bathroom.

Like most girls, if I saw someone like at a family thing that had that, I would pull them over and be like, come, I have a tampon.

Yeah.

A stranger.

No, let's say,

okay, I need to think of like a really random like.

Instance.

Okay, let's say I'm at a family thing with Ben's family.

Okay.

And Ben's, Ben's sister has a boyfriend, great guy, Max.

And Max's sister came.

I'm just like coming up with like the most random.

We don't have a sister.

Has a brother.

So Max's sister came and she was wearing like a cute dress and she had like a stain and like I knew what it was.

I would totally, I'm like a woman who supports other women.

I would totally be like, come to the bathroom.

Let's find you a tampon.

I would totally do that.

Or you know what I would actually do?

Sorry.

I would tell Maddie, Ben's sister.

Max's sister.

Max doesn't even have a sister.

Okay.

But that's what I would do.

Okay.

Yes.

I would send someone over there.

Like anything possible.

Someone would have come over.

If it was really that big.

If everyone saw it, then there would have been one person in there who it's in their character to tell you.

Personally, I don't think it could be me.

Like, if I saw it, I would reprogram my mind to pretend that I didn't see it and just move on, you know?

No, I would find a way to get the girl help, but like probably indirectly, if I'm being honest.

It would have to be like really, really bad, like gushing.

Yeah.

In which case you're showing off.

Okay, also, one more thing is I think it's also really important with a lot of these unburden yourselves.

I think it's important to remember that you will find a lot of peace and a lot of relief when you realize like nobody cares about you.

Like people are so involved in their own bullshittery, like their own lives.

I'm always singing like, what are people thinking?

Oh, did I act weird?

It's like, no one cares about you, bitch.

Like people really care about themselves.

I agree like 99.9% of the time.

But the instances that we've had today, I'm sorry, like the boob at the table, like, oh, no, I wasn't referring about that.

I was talking about that the next day.

No, for me, I'm like, me and my fall.

Like, I definitely fell and people definitely saw it, but I don't think people think about it to this day the way that I do.

No, not at all.

But I think when you take your boob out at a wedding, people think about it to this day, and it's like part of the canon.

Agreed.

Now, I don't think people are going to be talking about like the period same.

Also, it depends on the size.

A photo would have been helpful.

But also, was it a barbecue?

Like, maybe it was ketchup, you know?

Like, what was the outing?

It was, she was wearing gingham, so it could have been a barbecue.

So it was before a wedding.

So, like, it totally could have been been a barbecue.

Yeah.

Or like an event where they serve ketchup or barbecue sauce.

Yeah.

Hot sauce.

It's an option.

Okay.

Our third and final one is, I met this girl.

I'm not going to blow up her spot, but I met her and she was like, I wrote into unburden yourselves.

I'm like, oh, what was it?

And it was the most disgusting thing like I've ever heard.

And I was like, okay, I'm going to go into the email and find it.

We found it and we are going to read it.

Great.

Hello, Claudia and Jackie.

Hello.

First, let me say I love you both so much.

Listening to your podcast has given me a lot of joy in life.

Thank you so so much for all you do.

I am writing to unburden myself from a night that I don't quite regret, but I very much need to air to the world.

Basically, on a cool spring night in downtown Manhattan, I found myself, through one course of action and another, extremely drunk with two of my girlfriends in the subway.

As we were chatting, waiting for the train, one of my friends flailed her arm and hit mine, which sent my phone that I was holding soaring into the subway tracks.

Commotion ensued.

We were running around like crazy women trying to come up with the best solution.

The phone was not on the tracks, but rather off to the the sides, so trains wouldn't go by, leaving it unscathed.

In the commotion of running to the train engineer's booth at 2 a.m., multiple random people saying they would go down and get it for a hundred bucks.

And one of my best friends offered to hop down on the tracks and get it.

A random man, dare I say my hero, hopped down to the tracks, grabbed my phone, and was back up on the platform in seconds.

We were in shock and awe.

Especially me, I guess, who after realizing I had no cash and nothing to repay him with, and learning he was a student at NYU, I asked, are you a heterosexual man?

To which he replied, yes.

I then asked him if he wanted to make out, and with his full consent, we shared a hot and heavy makeout session on the not-so-empty subway platform.

I then broke away, grabbed my friends.

It's a beautiful story.

Why I wasn't in the New York Post?

I then broke away, grabbed my friends, and we ran out to the station without saying a word to this man.

I sometimes wonder who saw this makeout and where this man is now.

He was a random NYU student, so if you're out there, thanks again for getting my phone.

I hope you enjoyed the makeout as much as I did.

Sincerely, a slightly embarrassed yet unashamed toaster.

This is like so adorable.

I know, like, that guy, like, people were offering to do it for $100, and she, like, didn't want to do it.

He paid for a kiss.

He did it for free.

No, and then she offered the kiss.

Yeah, I imagine, like, she said it wasn't crowded.

She said it was crowded on the platform.

Like, everyone probably saw like the ordeal with the phone and like, who's going to get it?

And they see this hero come through.

And then there's a kiss at the end.

Like, I would have been clapping.

What a show.

I just have to say one thing.

Kissing someone who after they went down into the subway tracks.

Kissing on the subway should be illegal yeah it is the most vile place on the planet it is never been cleaned in its entirety the tracks especially the tracks like if you look at the tracks you'll see rags

rags it's crazy everything it's like so normal they're so disgusting so i just think like kissing any sort of like swabbing of fluids on the train should be punishable by jail like it's so disgusting yeah um but i love this for you i love that you're not ashamed of it i love that you found out he was age appropriate and got his consent.

So all in all, sounds like a successful evening on the subway.

Like, so cute.

I hope they make a movie.

But in the movie, like, then you guys obviously run home and shower.

Off into the sunset.

But if anybody, like, you know, knows who this person is, obviously he's not watching, but, you know, if his sister's watching and she's like, oh, my brother is an MIU student, and he did help a girl on the subway and got a kiss.

Right.

Please connect these two.

Yeah.

She lives in Chicago now, I think.

Okay.

Because I saw her in Chicago.

Okay.

But I don't want to blow up her spot any further.

Any further.

But I'm like giving a lot of reasons.

I'm not going to

do this.

Imagine being like the kind of girl that could inspire men to just jump into the subway tracks to get your phone.

Couldn't be me.

She sounds wonderful.

She really was like an everything of the sort girly.

Yeah, no, that only happens to like certain types of people.

And she listens to the toast, so she's obviously like a, you know, a special breed of human.

Yeah, just like with someone that has that energy, it's like.

you know, people who like all the craziest things happen to.

That was a great segment, and I want to thank everyone who wrote into Unburden Yourselves.

Finally, we did a whole segment without talking about poop, which, oh, I also met Small Rocks Pooh Girl.

And how were those Small Rocks?

Very poo-like.

And how was she doing?

Did she feel lighter?

Um, she was just like, she thought the whole thing was so funny.

I mean, it was so funny.

It's like one of our favorites.

Yeah.

So, thank you.

And your Small Rocks Pooh.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in.

Again, the email is Unburden Yourselves.

We also had to bring it back to poop just when we got out.

Of course.

Unburdenyourselves at gmail.com is the email.

Tomorrow we are back with Heather McDonald remotely, which I'm just so excited.

Like, Neri, is there a human I love more?

And then Thursday, we're back in studio with Joey Camasta.

Also,

so looking forward to it.

He's unhinged, and I just love him for that.

And then Friday, we're back remote with Lauren Elizabeth, who is a sister, a friend,

a hero, a toaster, and there's nothing better.

So we just have like a sickening week.

Thank you for coming in.

I know how hard it is.

I know you have a doctor's appointment you have to get to.

So thank you, Jackie.

Thank you, Claudia.

Thank you, Haroldson.

Thank you, Claudia Syn.

Thank you, Toasters.

Hope you enjoyed this episode.

And thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast of the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

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So, at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IR Radio, Cast Box, all the places.

So, wherever you listen to podcasts, find us the Morning Toast and leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing Tuesday, and we'll see you tomorrow for Hump Day.

Goodbye.