S5 Ep9: Drinking Each Other's Blood and Freeing Each Other: Thursday, January 13th, 2022

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Thursday.

Congratulations.

If you are listening to this, you are over the hump of the hump day.

You are.

Very good point, Jackie.

And it's important to acknowledge the spaces that we're in when we're in them, especially when they're positive spaces, because we can't only be complaining.

We can't only be negative queens, even though it's so much fun.

It's so much fun.

We've got to sprinkle a little positivity, and you're over the hump, and that's exciting.

We're sliding into, I mean, I don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but you know, we are technically sliding into the weekend.

Claudia is going off on a wonderful, magical weekend.

We're so excited for her.

But before we wish her bon voyage, we've got a great episode for you.

Anyways, hey, Claudia, how are you doing?

Wow, that was like me-level talking in the beginning.

Okay, perhaps, but I just want to say it was still like less than a minute, and you did talk in between.

Okay, it was less than a minute by like eight seconds.

No, we're both watching the clock.

Yeah, we're watching the clock.

No, but you did get a word and like people knew that you were here.

There were, there have been some times when where it appeared like it would be a solo episode from you.

I think that maybe we, that's our next journey, trying out solo episodes.

You've, okay, no, like I'm gonna call you out.

You've been like talking a big game for a few months now, and you never did it.

I know.

I just feel like it's such an impressive quality.

Like I know that there are a bunch of people out there who host podcasts by themselves and don't have a guest on every week.

Like they literally host it by themselves and I just, I'm in awe and I would love to garner that talent.

I'm just like genuinely afraid.

Like who, who do I talk to?

But we've spoken about this.

Like you on it, even sometimes on a day that like I can't do it and we're planning on taking off, like give it a shot.

And you don't have to post it if it doesn't work out.

No, that's a really good point.

It does require require like a bit of pre-planning, like having like the conversations with yourself.

But yeah, we have a pretty good structure.

I mean, I would love to see you do it.

I'd love to see you out there shaking your thing.

I'm all talk, no action.

150%.

Well, we've got a great show for you guys because lots of like celeb couple news, CCN,

Orange County was on last night, and I have many thoughts.

So the TV recap will be popping.

Yeah.

The stories are really crazy.

There's highs, there's lows.

Like it's going to be an emotional roller coaster, but that's what happens.

That's life.

That is so life.

And also, just, I feel like I really have been doing a good job of not being so self-promotional, but the time has come.

So if you just give me a little while to talk about what I need to talk about.

Okay.

You have the floor.

I'm on tour.

It's the Not Like Other Girls Tour.

We've kicked it off.

We've got tons of shows coming up.

A lot of them are sold out, but there's still tickets available at some of the bigger venues like the Wiltern in Los Angeles.

We're doing the Chicago Theater in Chicago.

We're going to Kansas City.

The tickets are at girlwithnojob.com slash tour.

And if you were bummed about Houston being sold out, a second show was added.

There are still a few seats left.

So just make sure to go to girlwithnojob.com slash tour.

Check out where I'm playing near you and come see me.

It's so fun.

We're going to have the best time.

We're going to drink Spritz's.

It's just going to be a ball.

When's your next tour date?

It is.

January 27th, I believe is the date.

And I'm going to Washington, D.C.

Oh, Dana's birthday.

Perfect.

You should invite her.

Yeah, so Washington, D.C., the 27th, and then the 28th at Parks Casino in Pennsylvania.

Then we're going to Foxwoods.

We're doing Boston, Clearwater, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, LA, San Francisco, Atlanta, Austin, Dallas, Houston, Chicago, Kansas City.

Make sure you don't miss out on the Not Like Other Girls tour.

It's not going to be like other tours because I'm not like other girls.

You've started, you kicked it off in December, though, right?

You toured?

Yes.

I've done about six shows already.

It was a grand old show.

Oh, great.

Oh my God.

The reviews were raves.

Oh, thank you.

Yes.

Yeah, no, I remember reading all of the comments.

I'm really excited for you to get back out there.

Is that all of the self-promotion we have in store for today?

I don't think so.

Of course not.

We are coming up on the one-year anniversary of my book release, which means that my book is now officially going to be sold in paperback.

So the paperback version is available for pre-order now at girlwithnojob.com slash book.

And to commemorate the one year and celebrate the paperback, I'm hosting a live virtual event with Barnes and Noble.

The tickets are super easy to get.

It's like 25 bucks.

That gets you admission to the event.

And it also gets you a book with a signed book plate.

So, it's a pretty good price, in my opinion.

And it's just gonna be an hour chatting the book, drinking, having fun.

It's all virtual.

You can stay at home in your pajamas, and it's gonna be super fun.

Are there an unlimited amount of tickets?

No, oh, it's limited, yeah.

And you know what?

I should actually check if they're sold out, so maybe

I'm promoting nonsense right now.

I feel like they would tell you if it was sold out, they would, yes, they would.

So, there might be a few left.

Go snag them,

snag it.

That sounds fun.

I'm missing it.

Thanks for the support on the promo.

You're welcome.

That's what I'm here for.

And what I'm here for is to deliver the past five.

Oh, yes, which we will get into, though.

I must ask, how was your yesterday?

I know you've been packing.

It was just one of those days, you know, like never ending so much drama.

I recorded Taylor Strecker's podcast, which was super fun.

I think that'll be out next week.

So lots of work and then lots of like pre-trip things.

You guys know, like the spray tan, getting clothes.

I'm going.

A bunch of the parties that I'm going to in Mexico are themed, which makes it easier to shop.

Like if you know, like, I need to wear white, but it's also quite limiting in a way.

Yes.

I love a theme though.

Me too.

That's really fun.

That'll be fun.

I never want to be the person who doesn't get into theme because like I hate those people.

Hate.

Hate like with the intensity of 10,000 sons.

Like be cool.

Come on.

No, that's not a personality trait is ignoring themes.

Totally.

Especially like if it's a good theme.

There are some, there are like a handful of themes that are like the worst you could choose.

Like what?

Like I really hate, and I might be in the minority because I know it's like such a popular theme, theme, but like I hate an 80s theme.

I agree.

Like hate.

I don't want to wear it.

I don't want to see it.

I don't want to go to it.

I actually agree with that.

It's very uninspired.

Yeah.

But then they're, they're, most of them are pretty good.

What do you think is a great theme?

Ooh,

famous couples throughout history.

Perfect answer.

The only correct answer.

Thank you so much for picking up what I was putting down.

That is a great theme.

Yeah.

Meant, wait, what does she say?

Meant to be.

Meant to be famous couples throughout history.

So on point.

I mean, okay, if you and Ben were going to a famous couple.

I knew that was the question.

Like, I literally knew.

If you were going to a famous couples throughout history party,

who would you be?

Oh my God, I need more time with this question.

Just like, give me a second.

Famous couples throughout history.

Well, I just want to say in the movie, Josie was the only one who really came on theme.

Like, Malibu, Barbie, and Ken is not like a famous couple in history.

They're not historical, but like, history does start, you know, yesterday.

So no, but like Romeo and Juliet, is that what she said?

Actually,

I don't think she was that basic, but Barbie and Ken are a famous couple throughout history.

They are.

I guess.

They are.

But then didn't those nerds dress up as astronauts?

How is that a famous couple?

Well, I guess, is the future part of history?

No.

No.

No.

That's so true.

If I were to be honest with you, I think they were protesting.

I think they were protesting.

That's so like the math team, you know, protest the prom.

And they protested history by dressing as the future.

You know, this is quite layered.

I need to go back and re-watch the movie with like this lens of being obsessed with what people dressed up as.

Yeah,

I don't have an answer, but I'll think about it.

We once did, just to show you, like, how

wide-ranging we are.

We once did a Patreon podcast episode about famous couples throughout history.

Did we?

We did.

That was the theme.

And we went through like a list of like famous couples, you know, like

Mark Antony,

Cleopatra.

We went through all of them.

We read a little bit about everyone.

And that's up on the Patreon.

So if you, one, if you're a patron, like a current Patreon member, I don't know if you know that that's there because it's from a few years ago, but also very niche.

If you signed up for Patreon today, like you could listen to that episode tomorrow for Friday's episode and really learn a lot.

Yeah, that's the recommended viewing for Friday.

Famous Couples Throughout History.

Yes.

That must have been a month where we were just like scraping the bottom of the barrel for content.

It wasn't that we were talking about it so much.

Like the movie and it was just kept coming up.

So we were like, we need to excavate and talk about famous couples throughout history.

Got it.

Always a tangent.

I'm happy to go down.

Always.

Okay, well, that's fun.

We bid you adieu.

But before we do that, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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And that's an endorsement like you really can't put money on.

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That's gorgeous.

Absolutely.

Mm-hmm cry.

Okay, our first story is also gorgeous.

Romantic news.

Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are engaged and they seal their union by drinking each other's blood.

I can't.

Like, why do they have to make something nice disgusting?

Megan and Machine, who have been dating for over a year, are now engaged, and they shared the announcement on their respective Instagram accounts on Wednesday.

She wrote in her caption, in July of 2020, we sat under this banyan tree.

We asked for magic.

We were oblivious to

the pain we would face together in such a short frenetic period of time, unaware of the work and sacrifices the relationship would require from us, but intoxicated off of the love and the karma.

Somehow, a year and a half later, having walked through hell together and having laughed more than I ever imagined possible, he asked me to marry him.

And just as in every lifetime before this one, and as in every lifetime that will follow it, I said yes, dot dot dot, and then we drank each other's blood.

This literally is a caption written by Stephanie Meyers.

Like, so,

so Twilight, you know,

in this lifetime and the next.

It's equal parts, like

corny, cute, corny, cute, encrypted,

but also, like, spooky and blood-filled.

And I think she really nailed it.

No, it's really sweet.

I'm a big fan of them as a couple, and I'm super, super happy that they're engaged.

I do think they have the potential to like go the long term.

Um, but like the blood, I'm not, I just feel like that's like, you know, something you're really not supposed to do.

Like, what if the person has like an undiagnosed disease?

Like, I'm just worried about the sanitization, the hygiene.

Do you think maybe she was kidding?

No.

I think she might have been.

I think like that they know that they're like this spooky couple.

And so she just like threw that in there for the headlines.

Well, I would love that.

Like, then I would think that's like funny, unique, different.

And like self-aware.

Flipping the joke.

Yeah.

But I think it's real.

I think I'm going to go with that it's it's not real but you know what I mean if it is real how do you go about that that reminds me of the movie practical magic where they cut their hands and then they hold hands and they're forever intertwined by the blood that's sick like I no matter how much I love someone yeah no I think that that is definitely like hygienically unsound yeah I think like a doctor would say absolutely not yeah yeah like your blood carries like all this bacteria and diseases no and then it's an open wound on an open Right.

Yeah.

It's giving bad vibes.

So I do hope, I love the theory that you have.

I love this like self-aware queen.

I would love, love, love that.

And if that's the case, all the power to her.

But if it's not the case, like I just am concerned about the health.

Yeah.

Well, they're really in this together, and I hope that they go.

I hope that they last forever because I think that they are a match made in heaven.

Have you seen the ring?

I think they're a match made in the afterlife.

What are your thoughts on the ring?

Really cool and unique.

Like, if someone gave it to me, I would totally take it.

But if I had that budget, like, I might not go for that.

But they're just so different and so

unique, really.

And so I think the ring is emblematic of their relationship.

It's beautiful.

It's non-traditional.

I didn't think MGK was getting her, like, a pear-shaped ring with a halo.

It wasn't going to be a Neil Lane moment on a diamond pave band.

So honestly, it was actually more of a traditional ring than I would have even expected from the two of them.

And then he would have behind it like

it's his birthstone and it's her birthstone put together and they're like infused, you know, just like the blood of their loins.

Well, I was going to say, I would have expected like a diamond infused with the blood of their ancestors, you know?

Yeah.

So it's actually pretty traditional.

Yeah, that's actually a really good point.

They are like so unorthodox.

So the fact that it was like a diamond on a band is huge.

Right.

And it's like they're dating for a year and they get engaged.

Extremely conventional.

No, it's like it's giving, you know, young Christian couple who haven't had sex yet.

Like it's so like, it's so standard.

It's so traditional.

It's, it's shocking.

Yeah.

Like I also felt that way even about Courtney and Travis.

And especially because this isn't like their first go-around.

Like once you have kids and you've been married, like you really don't ever have to get married again.

Like I think a lot of people find the best way to go about that next relationship is to be in like a long-term partnership.

Especially for celebrities because

and especially in California with the merging of the assets.

Yeah.

So I agree.

I love this.

I love them as a couple.

And their wedding is just going to be like, it's going to give Christine Quinn in a black wedding dress.

100%.

There's no way she's wearing a white wedding dress.

But I just want to say, if she does, I will love it.

Like I will die.

If she goes like full Martha Stewart, that will be everything because she's so edgy and different.

And I just think it would be like a.

gorgeous moment.

Or she'll wear like red perhaps.

But I don't know.

At the rate that they're going, like in this traditional route, like I think she's going to be in Miami on her bachelorette with penis straws.

Yes.

And getting married in a church.

And she's going to be wearing a robe that says Mrs.

Kelly on the morning of.

Yeah.

I think that's entirely in the realm of possibility.

And they just keep us on our toes.

Yeah.

I mean, of course, I can't think of them without thinking of Travis and Courtney.

Yeah.

And how they're like both engaged now.

And it's like the rocker vibe, like eternity for all.

So I just wonder whose wedding is going to be better, not to pit couple against a couple.

I think they'll be really different.

Yeah.

Do you think they both make it to the altar?

Yes.

Me too.

I do.

Because I don't know why otherwise they would rush to get engaged.

This is a rush in like celebrity world.

Yes.

Especially for people who like, you know, would seem like they would look down on monogamy.

And for like Megan Fox, who I'm sure doesn't have like the most fond association with marriage.

Yeah.

And Courtney, who's been like notoriously against marriage her whole life.

She just hadn't found the right person.

100%.

Yeah, it's an exciting time for the four of them.

It's exciting for everyone.

exciting for us too.

Honestly, when I saw that they got engaged, I was like

really shocked because I figured that they probably were already engaged or like that they would never get engaged.

So I was, it was a surprise.

It wasn't, they weren't a couple I was waiting to see if they were going to get engaged.

I'm just like, oh, they're together forever.

No, and they're going to be like 90 with their blood around their necks.

Yes.

Still swapping blood.

Yeah, but I love this traditional journey for them.

Yes.

And when one relationship blossoms,

another crumbles.

Crumbles.

Our next story: Jason Momoa and Lisa Benet announced their split after nearly five years of marriage.

I thought it felt like

they were married longer.

But Jason Momoa and Lisa Benet have called it quits.

He announced their separation in a joint statement on his Instagram on Wednesday.

He said, We have all felt the squeeze and changes of these transformational times.

A revolution is unfolding, and our family is of no exception.

Feeling and growing from the seismic shifts occurring.

And you guys, these celebrities are fucking out of control.

No, like we got divorced, period.

Goodbye.

And so we share our family news that we are parting ways in marriage.

We share this not because we think it's newsworthy, but so that as we go about our lives, we may do so with dignity and honesty.

The love between us carries on evolving in ways it wishes to be known and lived.

We free each other to be who we are learning to become.

In other words, bye, girl.

In other words, goodbye.

Yeah, good day, sir.

I just feel like the amount of time it would have taken me to write a statement that gorgeous is the amount of time that their marriage lasted.

I thought, well, first of all, I thought they were together for like 20 years, dead ass.

Me too.

So that's surprising that they were married for five.

And they were another couple that I never really thought about because I just assumed they would be together forever because like he saw her on TV when he was little and he said, mama.

Mama, that's the woman I'm going to marry.

Right.

And so.

Then did he say, mama, and we'll get divorced five years later.

Yeah, like to me, they were etched in the book of ships and I never ever thought about them.

And now, of course, am I delighted at the idea of who Jason Mama is going to date next?

Of course.

But I just kind of loved that, like,

he was a nobody.

She was a star.

He then became a star.

Really a sex symbol with the Dothraki.

Like, it was really every girl dreamt.

And then Aquaman, which was like, you can't get any more like movie star stud.

And he always just was tried and true to mama, his Lisa.

And I don't know.

I'm just like, I'm excited for the journey ahead, but I'm sad for sure.

I love that he was so tried and true.

Even though, like, if you read blinds, that's not the case.

But the way that I perceive it is like he always

stood by Lisa.

What do the blinds say?

The blinds say like he was, you know, pretty like sloppy, out and about with

it.

Doesn't always say it was him, but you know, it was pretty clear.

Oh, I never got that vibe at all.

I never saw that stuff.

So that's really surprising, but I guess makes that new, this news a little bit less surprising.

Yeah, I mean

Who does he date next?

Kim Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian.

When she's good and ready, by the time her and Pete cycle through each other, Jason will be ready to hit the dating field again.

That's gorgeous, but I just want to throw it out there.

Like, I could also see him because he's, I don't know if Aquaman is like Marvel or DC, but he's in that universe.

I could see him also becoming a power couple with someone from that space.

Interesting.

I've never seen any of the movies, so I don't know who's in there, but like i imagine there's a good a good match for him there's not a ton of women i think is the point i think that's actually one of the problems um but amber heard was his leading lady in the movie aquaman no no okay i mean gal godot she's married

oh my god yeah and she's like tried and true with her bald husband like she's no going nowhere and then

brie larson

But she's married, I think.

And those are just the ones I know off the top of my head.

And that's the best I can do.

So those were three good ones.

That's the best I can do for you guys.

Damn.

Okay, well,

whatever happens is going to be good.

Yeah.

Or what about

who just broke up?

Never mind.

Delilah Bell.

No.

We were, those are two different conversations.

Young Hollywood versus Marvel slash December.

Yeah.

Versus like

established.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Anyways,

but you know what?

Pray

for the Mamoa Benet family.

Even though I'm sad that their marriage is no longer, I'm grateful that through their marriage, we got the mama of it all.

If you're new here, go find that episode.

But I'm just happy for them.

Yeah.

All good things must come to an end, I guess.

Of course.

And it's always sad when a family breaks up, you know?

I don't think that statement applies to relationships or is meant to.

That's true, because if it's a good relationship, like, why would it end?

Right.

And that that means that all good relationships are coming to an end at some point.

Shit.

Don't tell Megan Fox and Machine.

Don't tell me gun.

I'm wishing them the best in their journey of revolution or whatever it was they said.

Yes.

Celebrities are so weird.

Like, to speak English.

I know.

And it's like, no matter how many times like a celebrity steps in it, conscious uncoupling and like gets like

dragged for years and associated with the funny language that they use, like they continue to put out statements like this.

But that's how much much they believe in their own

saying.

Yeah.

And by the way, if you've ever heard Gwyneth Paltrow talk about the conscious uncoupling, when she talks about it, it makes a lot of sense.

Because she was just like, the word divorce is so harsh.

We're a family.

We're always going to co-parent.

We still have an enormous amount of love for each other, but we're just...

not a couple anymore.

So we're consciously uncoupling.

Like if you hear her explain it, it's like, you know what?

I love that.

Like it's a really new way of thinking.

Yeah.

But like this statement honestly deserves as much of an eye roll as conscious uncoupling.

Yeah.

Instead of like we're breaking up, goodbye, it's we free each other to be who we are learning to become.

And instead of like, you know, we've both changed, it's we've been through a revolution.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Damn.

Wishing them the best.

Wishing them the best.

Okay.

Our next story is a follow-up to something that we talked about yesterday.

But Pete Davidson is being eyed as the 2022 Oscars host.

As stated on the morning toast.

I know.

And even though like this isn't the first time we've called something that has

me.

That has, you know, seemed to bear fruit or is like, you know, in line with what's going on, this was really surprising.

So, no, but I do want to say it's like kind of an obvious choice.

Like, once you said it, I was like, duh.

I don't think it's that obvious.

But to me, he's like the most, you know, in the zeitgeist comedian right now.

And just page six reporting it.

So I don't know how much truth there is.

But page six is told that SNL Comic Pete Davidson is in talks to host this year's Oscars.

His people are talking to producers, they say.

The show is looking for a reset, and the Academy wants to bring in younger viewers.

Pete Davidson, who has been dominating headlines with his dating life, has proved that he's able to command a real audience and draw in a younger demographic.

And the source pointed out that the New Year's Eve special that he hosted with Miley Cyrus for NBC brought in 6.3 million viewers.

They say he gets a demographic that is hard to get.

That's true.

And that's what I was just about to bring up.

I think like a lot of people were impressed with his live hosting skills, but does that put him into any sort of like contract?

What channel airs the Oscars?

ABC.

So it might be like you can't do another live hosting event on a competitive network for like six months, even, you know?

Yeah, I don't know how that would work.

And that's why when I said it, I didn't think it would was gonna work out either because he also is SNL girly and that's NBC.

That's NBC.

So he clearly is like in the NBC family and they'll pluck him for things.

I don't know if he can just so easily go over to ABC.

Well, let's think about the Jimmys.

Which Jimmys have hosted the Oscars?

Obviously, Jimmy Kimmel, but he's ABC.

Has Jimmy Fallon?

I don't know.

Actually, not that I recall in recent memory.

I'm sure he has at some point, but I think there's like a network drama here.

Yeah, it's like if Pete Davidson was on,

even if he was on something else, like CBS, I don't think it would be as big of a deal, but like it's ABC or NBC.

Never the Twain shall meet.

Agreed.

So I think like as much as it's a great idea, it's not going to happen.

I don't think it's going to happen.

Like when I read it, I was just like, like, this doesn't make sense.

Even though it makes sense, like it really doesn't make sense in practice.

But I do hope that this means that they're in line with this thinking that we shared.

With this theme of like an outsider comic who is coming up, who would love the job and like really make it their own, sink their teeth into it, and has more to gain.

From the opportunity than to lose, perhaps.

I have two things to say.

One, I have to issue in a correction from yesterday's show because when I was saying that it was rumored that Tom Hiddleston was going to be the Oscars host, I got my Toms from the, you know, comic book convention World Confused.

It was not Tom Hiddleston.

It was Tom Holland, who's in the biggest movie of the world in the world right now.

Spider-Man, he's dating Zendaya.

And even though that's a better choice, in my opinion, than Tom Hiddleston, I still think it's not the right choice.

He's going to be at the, he's going to win an Oscar one day.

Like, he's very much in that.

Think of who's played the previous Spider-Man.

Andrew Garfield has won Oscars.

Toby Maguire has won Oscars.

Like,

I don't think it's the right choice.

I don't think so either because because I think it should be an outsider.

And even though I think Tom Holland,

he seems more affable to me than Tom Hiddleston, but it's really the same thing.

Yeah.

So thank you for clearing that up.

That was

confusing.

And then the second thing I wanted to say when we asked people to comment who they thought should

host, one good option thrown out was Keenan.

But he poses a similar problem as Pete because he's also a starring cast member on SNL.

I thought about Keenan yesterday yesterday too, and he is an NBC queen, and he has a show.

He has like his own show.

A sitcom, yeah.

Yeah.

So I think he's a company man.

He's not going to be a man.

Yeah, I don't think it's working.

But I still like our picks, Bo Burnham.

I actually think Bo Burnham is the best choice.

You could do a musical number.

No, I agree.

And that's where we landed.

So I think if I was, you know,

betting, that's what I would bet.

But I do think they should look towards the comedy podcast charts and just find someone who's going to shake shit up.

Right.

And we're like coming out of this like pandemic.

And I think a lot of people associate Bo Burnham's comedy special with the pandemic.

It was like the soundtrack to their pandemic.

It was like emblematic of their experience.

And I just really think he's the right man for the job.

Okay.

So I'm really, I'm into this conversation.

It's making the Oscars more exciting.

More exciting than they would have been after a few years of no hosts.

So I hope they make the right choice because it could be a time for them to turn a new leaf.

And I'm I'm gonna, I'm gonna give them the space and the optimism that they can make it happen.

I love that.

Okay, you ready for our next story?

If it's the story that's brought to you by all birds, so it's the beginning of the year.

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Great.

Our next story, another update, finally closing the book on all the speculation.

The coachella 2022 lineup is here and our headliners are harry styles on friday billie eilish on saturday and kanye on sunday and then also swedish house mafia is at the bottom of the lineup saying that they're returning to the desert i don't know what that means probably like an after party yes perhaps so

that's a really sweet lineup I just want to say this is like the most stacked lineup I think I've seen from Coachella because with Coachella it's always like popular people and also also like people you've never heard of.

Like, it's like it has to be both and different.

But this is like stacked top 40.

These tickets are going to be so impossible to get.

I mean, Billie Eilish, like cult following.

Harry Styles, cult following.

Kanye West, cult following.

I'm not even going to try and get a ticket.

And to be honest, I feel like it would be overwhelming to go.

But of course, like, I don't want to be a negative Nancy.

But my like first thought now when it comes to music festivals is like safety and

all these artists to me have like a really similar fanatic group of fans to like Travis Scott.

And I just really hope that's like on the minds of the organizers, you know?

I imagine that it is.

I think it's probably on the minds of a lot of different

festivals and concerts and like companies that put these shows on.

So yeah, this is going to be massive.

And

usually like the all three headliners are big names, but this is like, I don't even know the biggest one is probably Kanye, but like, still, any one of these people really could carry the bill.

No, of course.

And I feel like in past, when I've seen the headliners, it's like

one artist who's like, you know, mega who is, I would stay for it.

But like when we went, we saw Lady Gaga, and I think she was like the big one.

And then it was like Tame Impala, who's really popular, but not everyone in the world knows at least four songs, you know?

And that's how it is with these artists.

Yeah.

They're stacked.

Some of the other ancillary artists who you might be excited about.

Lil Baby, Daniel Caesar, Phoebe Bridgers, Big Sean,

Flume.

Lil Baby is not De Baby, correct?

No, no, I don't think so.

Flume, Meg and Thee Stallion, Disclosure.

Oh, wow.

21 Savage, Danny Elfman.

Oh, that'll be good.

Soundtracks.

Which line is Meg Thee Stallion on?

The second one?

Second one.

So right now I'm reading the second ones from each day's.

I feel like she could headline, honestly.

And then also, Doja Cat is on the third day.

Oh, wow.

That's like a really good festival lineup yeah maggie rogers is on the third day too also the first day on the fourth line is carly ray jepson

shit

yeah now i have to go you got to get there early um

no like i'm really happy for all the people who are gonna go but like i'm overwhelmed by this lineup like it's too good do you know what i mean yeah no i agree but it i'm excited for everyone who will be there i feel like you might go i mean if someone like offers me a ticket and a private jet i'll go but like it's really a a lot of work to go to coachella like you have to like plan so much with the outfits it's a lot of physicality on your body like the walking the heat the drinking the just running around being thirsty i think i'm too old and i've done it twice like that for me like to consider myself an influencer like you have to go to coachella and i did it twice we did it twice yeah

Yeah, twice.

Okay, yeah.

I feel like I feel good about that.

If I never go make it to Coachella again, like I'm cool.

Don't get me wrong.

It's a sickening experience.

And I really feel like if you're into music, you should totally experience it once.

But, like, if there's an artist on there who you want to see, like, go see them in concert at a stadium that has like air conditioning.

But there's something about the Coachella magic, Claude.

No, we've such a hater.

We've been so swept up in it.

When we were there, like, both times.

The first time we were there, we just like randomly, it was like not organized.

We just found ourselves there.

And we still, that's where we like really connected with Lauren Elizabeth.

Like, it was so fun.

And then the next year, we like fully planned and we had the best time.

Like, it's so fun.

Yeah, yeah, but I also hate it.

Yeah, no, it's it's it's complex, it is, and like, honestly, like when we went, I didn't even know any of the artists except Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga was the second year that, the second time that we went, the first time I don't remember any of the artists that we went.

Me neither.

Like, it was more about like the experience than the music, but this is like so stacked.

Yeah,

yeah.

Well, I'm happy for the kids who are going.

Me too.

No, the kids are going to be wild.

Like, please, if you're going, like, be safe.

Yes.

I'm like, that's how I know I'm getting old.

Like, I'm worried about the kids.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

And I think we should talk about the fact that yesterday I did not do the song.

And honestly, I don't want to do it today either.

That's, I think it's important to not do it when you're not feeling it because then it takes away from the good times.

Yeah.

And I've just been getting like a lot of shit.

Maybe it's like the interface.

It's not premium for people.

Like when we're in studio, it's better, but I've just been getting more shit than usual and I'm just not in the mood.

Yeah, I've seen that too.

You know what I think it is?

First of all, the last few times we've we totally nailed it, but I think it's like people didn't even like it in studio and now they're trying to use our interface against us and like drive a wedge between us and the interface and the final story and make you feel bad because they know you're having doubts because you've expressed those doubts about singing the song.

Yeah.

So they're just trying to play up on your insecurities.

So I'm just feeling uninspired and I'm just going to take a back seat if that's okay with you.

That's fine.

Go on vocal rest.

We'll hear you sing on Tuesday.

Thank you.

Our fifth and final story, Andy Cohen teases a jaw-dropping Real House Eyes of Salt Lake City moment and talks about Mary Cosby's disappointing reunion absence.

So Andy went on Radio Andy and shared his thoughts about Mary choosing not to attend the reunion.

He said that, you know, he was disappointed, but that he had a sense that she would likely skip the occasion.

He said he spoke to her on New Year's Eve a few hours before he went on the air and they had a long talk.

It's her story to tell, but he got the sense that she was not finding gratitude in being on the show anymore.

He said that he doesn't like it when housewives choose not to attend reunion tapings, that you allow the others to control your narrative as your last gesture.

Yeah.

So he said that.

Then he also said in the same episode, he hinted at a major moment that none of the real housewives of Salt Lake City women saw coming ahead of the reunion taping.

He said the women saw the remaining six or seven episodes before the reunion.

There's something coming up that is jaw-dropping that no one knows about that will rock the foundation of two of the housewives.

He said, when you see this play out and you realize that this was shown to the women the day before they shot the reunion and then they had to deal with it at the reunion, you will be quite engaged.

Okay, so there is a thread on Reddit, and I just want to, before I say it, it is so unverified, and I saw it like in a screenshot, but a lot of people are sending it to me.

Completely unverified.

I doubt it's true, but what was just described by Andy does sound like it could be.

What the fuck is it?

That like part of the rift between Meredith and Jen is due to the fact, and this is like an extremely common thing allegedly known in Salt Lake City, is that the two of them allegedly, before the show, I think ever aired, had some sort of alleged sexual encounter with one another.

Okay.

But I don't know.

That just sounds like, there's no sources, totally fraudulent vibes, but I wasn't every, and it was so fraudulent, I wasn't even gonna mention it.

But then, like what Angie just said, he said, it involves two of the housewives.

Yeah.

So maybe someone brings it up.

Maybe someone mentions it on an episode.

They no one else knows it until now they're watching it back.

And I feel like if anyone were to know it, it's like maybe Heather or Whitney.

And that's why this whole time they're like, there's something more going on between Jen and Meredith.

Oh my God.

I wonder.

That's just a theory.

Okay, that's a good theory.

And I'm glad that you even had something to present to the class because I could not even wrap my head around what this could be.

And then I was starting to worry that, like, what if I've been, you know, what if this is like clickbait?

And it's like, this, you know, the most.

It could also be that.

It could also be that.

I don't know.

The way that he says it, though, I'm just like, I'm believing that this is going to be the craziest shit that we've ever seen.

Well, they really have like a lot of air time to fill on the reunion now because like this whole storyline about Mary's church and all the fights with Mary, so much of the shit this season has annoyingly been about Mary when it should have been about Jen.

And now Mary's not even going to be at the reunion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But

now, I mean, I was already excited for the reunion, but now I'm really excited.

And I wonder, I wonder what it could be.

I think you might be on, I think the Reddit thread, like, sometimes they just, they nail it.

Every now and then.

You know, but then other times it's like you see the craziest shit online.

No, and it's so unbelievable.

And this was unbelievable until.

Interesting.

And you know that last week, like Mary, Jen said on the show that like, it's not my fault that you had an affair.

Which was like, that came out of nowhere.

Right.

And then when you think about like

um jen last season talking about meredith separation when she was like smiling talking and she was just like like really involved like for no reason interissant just a thought and that's a good thought starter yeah

Okay, well, that's something to look forward to.

Speaking of Real Housewives, we have our Orange County recap coming up.

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Wonderful.

Okay, I have one thing to say about this episode of Orange County

in an overall sense before we get into like the drama.

Explain to me why there was so much filler, Shannon in Nashville, the aura reading with Max, like moronic nonsense.

But then we got flashbacks to two very important scenes.

The phone call between Nicole and Noella, where Nicole, no, is her name Nicole?

Yeah.

Nicole hung up on Noella.

We didn't see.

We just got a flashback.

And then also, Noella went out to lunch with...

Jen.

Jen, squashed the beef.

Why are we seeing aura readings and Nashville dinners with grandma and not actual drama about the castmates on the show?

Great question.

I have no idea.

I want to believe that it's because perhaps those conversations were even more boring than the film.

It's not possible.

And if anything on the planet was more boring than the aura reading.

And

it's not possible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I would agree with that.

I almost fast-forwarded through a personal scene, but I was like, it's way too early in the season.

Heather just came back.

I can't be fast-forwarding through her scenes yet because once you start, you just can't stop.

But speaking of Heather, I thought the encounter with her and Noella was really interesting because Noella is 100% right.

Like you knew I was coming over at a certain time and like you had an infomercial photo shoot.

Like you wanted to flex.

Like it was just really weird of Heather.

And then they sat down and Noella is so nuts.

Like I can't get a read on her.

She's so glamorous and cool.

And I'm like, yes, she could, she has the potential to like give life and she's giving nothing.

Like she's being crazy.

No, she's a little like disturbing yeah like like um and creepy and and concerning like in the way that she when she had gina over at the top of the episode and she's talking about i found him in linked

and then telling the driver her uber driver oh my god yeah and like the way that she's just like talking about this incredibly serious like traumatic thing and and i'm not anyone to like judge how other people like handle hard times but it's just like it's so weird i don't understand her.

And maybe like, I just don't, yeah.

Maybe after watching like more and more and many more episodes, like I'll get a read on her as a person.

And I'll be like, oh, okay.

Now I get like why back then you acted like that.

That happens all the time with people.

Yes.

Especially new housewives.

Especially new housewives who have bad first seasons.

And who are going through a lot in the first season?

It's like, I don't even know you on a good day.

So how am I supposed to understand you now?

But she's just.

a lot.

And the way they ended that conversation in Heather's podcast room, like, was so weird.

It was so weird.

And, like, Heather is like so kind.

They're both just so off.

Heather's so condescending.

And, like, you really.

Well, you're going through a lot.

Yeah, you need to work on yourself.

And Noelle's, like, on the one hand, talking crap in her interview, but sitting there taking it, being like, yeah, I do.

And it's like, bitch, leave me alone.

Yeah.

She's like, doesn't really walk the walk.

Yeah, she talks such a big talk in her interviews, which is also a pet peeve.

But her just, her behavior is all over the place.

And also, like, it seems like Nicole has kind of turned on her ever since that drunk match.

But, like, I just think i the behavior i think she's like probably really annoying to be around you know it's coming off erratic on the tv imagine like a four-hour lunch 100

so it's a lot and it's confusing and i'm on this ride and i'm it's interesting television

but i don't understand

for me two more things i want to say about this episode this was really just like an homage to why i a long time ago made a decision to stand emily simpson When she's in the sauna saying she's gonna faint, like that's literally something I would say like I'm gonna faint even though I probably like had a big breakfast like and then she pulls a turkey sandwich and says that she falls asleep having sex with Shane because the trip to fan from all of her turkey sandwiches is making her tired.

Like she's just iconic in ways I can't even describe.

And then when she got so drunk at Max's book party was like having that chaotic conversation with Dr.

Chen.

Like she was 100% wrong.

Like she was being so rude.

Like those are things you think you don't say.

No, it's something just about Emily who's very buttoned up.

Hearing her say it was just kind of everything.

Also it was fine because it was Chen.

Yeah.

And like, you know what?

I wondered the same things.

And by the way, like how they just threw that in there, like, need to know more about this billionaire she dated who sued her for almost a million dollars.

Like, lead with that, not Ryan.

Yeah, no, it's all over the place.

But if she, like, came and if Emily had that sort of like inappropriate conversation with Heather, like, it would be a storyline for five weeks and like we would never get past it.

But like, when it's Jen, it's like, move on.

Nobody cares.

Yeah, move on.

We probably won't even, like, them making up for that will be a flashback next week.

Yeah, but I did love the girly gang of Jen, Heather, and Emily at the sauna.

Heather and Emily agreed.

And when they kept showing that scene, and like you know, last week, next week, I always just assumed it was Gina sitting there.

But so, knowing that it was Jen, and they all had like such great conversations and talking about, you know, any like resentment she might feel towards her husband and how Emily has been there.

Like, that was a real conversation, like, amongst women that you vibe with, and that's enjoyable to watch.

And it's not like judgmental at all, it was just like women helping women, yeah, like asking questions and like just opening up in a non-not being fake, like not coming for each other.

Like it was just nice to see.

Yeah, and did I catch Heather Dubrow saying her daughter goes to a Catholic school?

Yeah.

That was interesting.

Aren't they both Jewish?

Yeah, but that happens sometimes.

People do that.

Yeah.

Oh, I just thought that was interesting.

I was like, did I miss her that?

No.

No.

I feel like you know people who have

done that.

Not so much in the city, but like in other places, if like there's good Catholic schools, some Jews go.

No, I had no idea.

what do they do during like Bible study?

Old Testament only?

I don't know.

I've never asked anyone.

Let us know in the comments.

Um, so yeah, all in all, it was like a fine episode, but there was like 50% filler.

And until they got to the party, I was like bored.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think.

And Heather's like a little obnoxious.

Like when they went to the spa and like she made the appointment, she was like, put it on my account.

It's like, you know what?

Nope.

They get spa services on Housewives.

all the time.

I never even think about who pays.

I'm like, they probably don't.

Yeah, she is like sometimes, sometimes cringy.

She's cringey.

I agree.

Overall, I really like her though, because I think she's just like a rational girly.

And I always take her side, really.

Yeah, and she's like a pretty good thinker and she's easy to root for.

But sometimes it's just too much.

It's the cringe dubro.

Like, it's not working.

Like her having infomercial.

She has the biggest house on television.

And you have to have Noella in your podcast room surrounded by pictures of yourself.

No, Noella was 100% right.

It was like giving shrine narcissism vibes.

There are so many other sitting rooms.

The salon.

It was too much.

Agreed.

Yeah.

She needs to tone it down just like a little bit.

I know.

She's having a hard time finding the right balance.

Yeah, because it's a chaotic group of women.

Like half of them don't even know each other.

Yeah.

And I will say that I think the episode really benefited from Shannon's departure.

Yeah, absence.

Agreed.

Just a footnote.

Yeah, just a footnote.

I didn't miss her.

I don't know where she fits in with this group because her and Heather really are like oil and water.

No, because she doesn't know the new girls, and the old girls are not fucking with her.

And it's like Emily.

So she has, Noella and her get along, but it's like.

It's a forced friendship.

It's giving Lisa Vanderpump and Joyce Gerard.

Yeah, so I don't know where she fits in with the new group.

The new girlies, but I'm excited for their first trip next week.

But I want to say, her daughters are so.

gorgeous like it's unfair how gorgeous they are like every single one yeah no and they're really sweet And like funny.

Yeah.

And they just have a really nice family.

And agreed.

I'm happy for them and all of like the, you know, what they've been through.

Everything that they've been through that they're, they seem to be doing really well.

Totally.

You love to see the campers thrive.

Well, that is, that is our show.

That was our recap.

We hope you guys enjoyed this episode.

Reminder, tomorrow and Monday, there are no episodes.

It is a long weekend for Martin Luther King Day.

So enjoy your long weekend.

We love you guys.

Thank you so much for listening to the toast.

And we hope you've enjoyed all the episodes this week.

And we'll be back on Tuesday, back with video and podcast.

Yes.

Can't wait.

And video is coming in 1080p, you guys.

I've been working on it.

I figured it out with the intervase.

Tuesday, you'll see us in 1080.

We hired a new IT department.

Her name is Jarlene Auchris.

She's from French and she's like really, really sophisticated.

So

you better watch out.

Yeah, no, I've heard the cry for 1080.

And you've heard of the major tech influencer, iJustine, but have you heard of iJackie?

No, I just think that's a good thing.

But everyone has been getting so into the equipment.

Get it, girl.

Yes.

It's important to have passions.

No, I'm so passionate about this gadgets and gizmos.

And I've been getting really great feedback about the about the stuff.

Would you say you have gadgets and gizmos of plenty?

Yeah.

And I've got cords of plenty, too.

Do you have who's it's and what's-its, though?

I think that's what's missing.

Not yet.

I'm waiting for those to be delivered from Apple.

Got it.

Okay.

You guys have an amazing day.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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If you made it to the end of this episode, congratulations, you are truly a part of the society season two.

And to let us know that you did, why don't you go drop an emoji on our most recent Instagram?

Perhaps the emoji of the cable, the cord, to honor the new IT department and thank Jackie for her loyal service this past two weeks.

Have a great day, great weekend, and we'll see you on Tuesday.

Bye, guys.