S4 Ep186: Ciao Millennials: Tuesday, October 26th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Or should I say, bonjour, millennials?

No.

What?

Bonjour?

No.

Ciao, millennials.

I still don't know anything.

Ciao, millennials.

Ciao.

Bienven.

You know what?

What country were you in?

I learned no Italian.

Travel.

You clearly didn't study.

I was trying so hard and all I could really say to everyone was, buena note, which is literally what you say like as you're falling asleep.

I'm like, buena note, everyone.

Does that mean good night?

Like it's good night, but it's really reserved for like when you're actually going to be.

Like good night mood.

Yeah, literally.

So I learned no Italian on my trip, but I'm back.

I'm so glad to be back in America.

You know,

This happens to me when I travel abroad, which I never do.

I get really into it.

Like I was so living for the culture, the food, the people, like, learning all about different things that customs.

You were really

being like a tourist girly.

And when Ben was here, we need to recap his time of Be on the T, he was feeling so RDH because he's like, whenever Claudia and I go on vacation, like we sit on the beach all day and she doesn't want to like...

tour.

I know.

And then you were spotted at museums.

Trevi Fountain, the Coliseum.

Landmarks.

Can I explain myself?

Sure.

You have a lot to explain.

I i have some explaining to do first of all i was with like all my friends and like that's what they wanted to do so what it was either sit at the hotel by myself or be tortured and dragged around to every like landmark in rome i did what i had to do to survive first of all second of all that what ben said is a hundred percent true like but when i'm with ben like i want to enjoy my life like even though

Going to other places and seeing all they have to offer is really cool, but it's also part treacher.

Like so hot, literally couldn't stop walking.

My feet are still killing me.

Like, it's a lot of work.

So, when I'm on vacation, I really choose to enjoy myself, but this was like an educational trip.

Yeah.

And I had never been to Rome before.

I might not ever go again.

So, you do what you have to do.

You know, I didn't do the Vatican because, like, I literally didn't have it in me.

Like, I was dead.

Did your friends do the Vatican?

No.

Oh.

I didn't, like, skip the Vatican.

I just didn't go.

Okay.

I mean, they just didn't go.

It wasn't on the itinerary.

So when it comes to Ben, I hear him.

I literally had no choice.

It was, these were my options.

Like, hang with my group of friends who I haven't seen in forever.

We had such a good time, but like, intersperse with treacherous torture or sit in the hotel by myself all day.

Like those were my options.

That's really sad.

So now, but do you feel like now that when you travel, you might do more cultural things?

Like, yeah, I really did enjoy a lot of my time, especially when I discovered that I didn't have to walk everywhere.

I could scooter.

And they have lime, they have bird, and it was,

I'm telling you, like, I know.

It might not work in New York, but like, oh my God, it was so amazing.

Like, you really cover so much more

ground when you're on it.

You have so much fun.

Like, I almost got hit by a bus, but like it was all fun, you know?

Yeah, that's exciting.

I know that they're outlawed in New York, those scooters.

I don't fully understand why it wouldn't work in New York.

I would like a better explanation.

Me too, because we're a very bike-friendly city.

We have bike lanes.

And if you can do it in Rome, they drive like fucking nuts.

If you could do it in Rome, you could do it anywhere.

Yeah.

But you know, I was, so I was really getting like immersed in the culture, like trying to be like an Italian girly.

And whenever I travel abroad, like there is this unmatched sense of relief when I come back to America, like all the comforts, you know, I'm such a creature of habit, all the comforts that I have, you know, things that I'm used to, air conditioning, Diet Coke, like these are things, these are not Italian values, but these are core American values.

And like when I just, I could feel myself entering on the plane, like American airspace.

And it was just like, I'm telling you, like, there's nothing like America.

Like Italy was gorgeous.

There's nothing like America.

And then like towards the end of my trip, I was really starting to get resentful of Italians because it's like, you know, everyone hates Americans.

Like, you're big dumb Americans.

Like, oh, and like, that was us.

We were traveling in groups, looking at our phones, like, didn't know where to go.

And it's like, it was funny.

But then I'm like, you know what?

I'm a proud American.

Like, leave me alone.

Like, I was just getting annoyed with like everyone being like, oh, the Americans are here.

Like, yeah, I'm fucking American and I'm fucking proud, bitch.

Okay, we have Diet Coke and you don't.

Like, okay, you think you're so great?

You think you're so great?

So I started to feel like this resentment.

And then I knew it was time to go home.

And I just can't put into words like how much I love being home, even though it was an amazing trip.

Like, first of all, getting to see my my friends from high school who I like never get to see.

We spent like a whole five days together was awesome.

The wedding was just,

I don't know what that means.

It was gorgeous.

And it was just, it was such a happy weekend.

And I'm so happy to be home, but so happy that I went.

And it was really

like a once-in-a-lifetime experience, I would say.

Wow.

I'm so glad for you.

I'm so glad that you went.

We had a great time here.

I heard Ben.

I heard.

You know, every day was something different.

He's just, you know, I know for you, it's not your co-host of choice, but for me, it's just a totally different energy.

Well, the feedback thus far has been like, Ben and Claudia,

Ben and Jackie, yes.

Because we're just like, it's, it's just different.

I mean, I understand I wouldn't want to do it with my cousin, like Claudia and Zach.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it was, it was good.

I'm glad that it all worked out that you had such a great, fabulous time.

You looked so wonderful.

Thank you so much.

So fabulous Italian.

Did you see my TikToks?

Of course not, unless you posted them to your stories.

I did.

I saw the one of you flying to get real pasta.

Mm-hmm.

You're coming home with me.

Did you see that one?

What was that about?

Oh, yeah, the drink.

How sick were those cups?

Yeah, really cool.

And then, did someone say Bev Raschino?

Did you see that one?

I don't think so.

I'll show you to it later.

You're really missing out.

Okay, sorry.

I feel like I really put the content first.

You know, I was really being very content-minded.

Content-driven.

Content-driven.

And I also just wanted to share one crazy thing that happened.

I forgot to tell you.

So the wedding was like really so unbelievably sickeningly gorgeous.

And it was up this, like, not a cliff, but like up this mountain, so you could overlook all of Rome.

And we're going to the wedding.

My friend Rachel, you know, her grandparents were Holocaust survivors, and she met this Italian man.

It's just like this gorgeous Jewish story, a global Jewish moment, you know?

And we're on the way to the wedding, and literally, first of all, the graffiti in Rome is so bad.

They should really do something about it.

Like on these old historic buildings that were literally around three, 400 years ago, like, what are you doing?

Like, it's disgusting yeah but we're on this cliff and as we're going up there's swastikas everywhere jews are assassins i'm like what the fuck and it's like it's very clear to me like we're going to this beautiful jewish wedding the granddaughter of holocaust survivors and we're sitting here with our swastikas i'm like this is bullshit oh my god it was crazy i actually never saw so much anti-semitic jewish graffiti in my life That's really scary.

I know.

So I was just like, what is this, honey?

It was not it.

What is this, honey?

Jeez.

I know.

And also the graffiti.

It's like, they really should do something about it.

Because, like, in New York, like, they graffiti on like dirty old buildings, like, whatever.

It actually looks better after they graffiti it.

I don't know.

But, like, these gorgeous old, like, I don't even know what to call them, like, buildings, like, roundstones.

Like, no, and they're landmarks.

Yeah.

And there's so much graffiti in Rome.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

And it's more, it's like centuries old because here everything is max 300 years old.

But there, it's like, you know, super, sweet.

The Coliseum.

Let's talk about the Coliseum.

Okay.

And I also want to talk about the food in Italy.

Okay.

Coliseum first.

Coliseum first.

What is your take?

My take on the Coliseum, and it could have been that I was so violently hungover and so hot, I sweat through my sweater.

Like I was miserable.

Your sweater?

But like, okay, so I got to the Colseum.

We pulled up in the taxi and I took this gorgeous photo of the outside of the Coliseum.

Should have went home after that, okay?

Because you know what's in the inside of the Coliseum?

Dirt.

Yeah.

Lots of fucking dirt.

And we had this actually amazing tour guide who was like giving a lot lot of like the Jewish history of the Coliseum.

And she was full of interesting factoids.

But I was just like, I'm not really like a tour girl.

And like paired with the hangover and the sun, I was like, I came out of bed like to see this.

Like they've done a good job of like preserving it.

And it's really interesting.

Like you would have loved it.

Like, you know what they used to do at the Coliseum?

They would like kill each other.

Gladiator.

I'm like, why am I here?

I'm like, this is sad.

And then like...

The tour guy was saying, you know, but then the barbarians came and I like felt stupid.

I'm like, who are the barbarians?

Like, I don't know what the hell she was talking about.

But I'm like, oh no, the barbarians.

And then I'm like, you guys sound like the barbarians.

Like, you were literally killing each other in the gladiator for entertainment.

For entertainment.

And then the animals got involved.

And I'm like, leave the animals alone.

They would have like the animals thrown in with a bunch of gladiators.

I'm like, okay,

that's bad.

And I was just like,

I was very confused about the history because I'm not really a history buff.

She was like, talking about these time periods.

And I'm like, when is this?

Like, so she said 70 AD.

That is really cool that there's still a building standing from 70 AD.

Like, it's sickening for sure.

I just was not in the right headspace.

And I don't mean to offend like Italian culture at all.

It was just like, it was a lot of dirt, you know, like a lot of hype.

And then you go inside and it's like,

you know?

I think that's what most people expect to find there.

Maybe you just weren't briefed.

I don't know.

I was ready for like a Paolo and Isabella show, you know?

I thought it was like a full-blown arena.

Yeah, but they still do stuff there.

Like, no.

No?

No, no, no.

You go in and like the center of, like, where all the sand.

Actually, I did learn something very interesting.

So in the arena, the whole floor where everyone would fight, think, you you know, pink Beyoncé and Britney Spears from the Pepsi commercial.

Of course.

It's made of sand.

Yeah.

And that's why they call arenas arenas because the Latin word for sand is like arena or something, you know?

So I did learn something actually very interesting.

Look at you with the factoid.

Yes.

And here's another factoid I learned at the Coliseum.

A lot of the materials that,

sorry, I just remembered something funny.

A lot of the materials that were used to build the Coliseum and like keep it up, they were taken from other places.

So when the Beit Ham meet dash was destroyed by the Romans, the Jewish temple, temple, they took the materials into the Coliseum.

So when, you know, like years ago, when they were unearthing parts of the Coliseum, they found materials from the Beita Mikdash, the old shul,

that had maps of Jerusalem on them.

So we're very much the Jewish people.

Like we're a part of the Coliseum's history for sure.

For sure.

Yeah.

We had like a Jewish tour guide because, you know, we have to make everything about ourselves.

No, but the Jews like are, you know, a fixture throughout history.

So there's always, there's always a Jewish element in the history.

Yeah, so it was really interesting.

What was this this up to?

Where were the Jews hiding?

Where were the Jews being kicked out of?

Like, it was really interesting.

I was just like so feclamped.

Like, my body still is like, what did you do?

I've never moved that much in my whole life.

What was your step count?

10,000, at least every day, maybe more.

But the scooter didn't count my.

I was scootering like for miles, you know?

Got it.

But here's the other thing.

Not only did I walk so much, like, yes, I had pasta for every single meal and snack, but I don't know, like, the pasta in Italy is like made of vegetables.

You know what I mean?

It's like having a salad in America, in my opinion.

Like, it's not bad for you.

That's what they say, though.

No, just because the way that it's made, it's like

not, it's not like eating,

what's the brand we use here?

Like, De Chico.

Barilla.

Barilla.

Yeah.

Dichico is one.

That's what my name uses.

So I bought them and it's the same.

Barilla is the best.

Yeah.

I should have went to the Barilla factory.

Barilla's foolproof.

No, and so like the pasta in Italy is healthier.

So you were eating salads every day.

No, like it was literally the healthiest I've ever eaten in my life and I ate so much possibly.

Was it delicious?

So, yes, the like I, from what I've learned in my time in Rome, they're like official, like they're known for their caccio pepe.

Okay, but you're not a pepe girl.

And I had it, and like it was fine.

I just really don't like cacio pepe.

You don't like caccio or pepe?

No, not at all.

It's like grown-up, like serious mac and cheese, like spicy with pepper.

And I'm like, just give me the craft, you know?

Yeah.

But I had so much spaghetti.

Craftyoi Pepe.

Craftio for sure.

I had so much spaghetti pomodoro, which is like my meal of choice.

And they, like, when you say pomodoro, they like, no, you're American.

That's, like, not it.

They're like, spaghetti tomato and basil.

I'm like, yeah, sure.

Like, they hate, the waiters hated us.

Like, here's a great story for you.

I went to lunch with, you know, Abe, who did a great job of taking all my pictures.

He did.

He got the angles, he got the lighting.

And he wanted a nice tea.

And the guy was like, we have peach.

I was like, oh my God, that sounds so good.

He's like, but is it like, like snapple or like fresh, you know?

And it was like, which was a dumb question because, like, we're in Italy.

It's fresh.

Yeah.

And the guy was like, so offended.

He was like, it's fresh.

And we're like, oh, great.

Okay.

You know what?

It wasn't such a dumb question.

It came in a bottle of like the Italian snapple.

I don't know what brand.

It looked like an honest tea.

Yeah.

One, because we pretty much exclusively spoke English.

One, wherever I went, I was like, I'll have a spaghetti pomodoro.

They don't have it at every restaurant.

I didn't even look at the menu.

It was an Italian.

Like, everywhere we went, like, the waiters just like thought we were dumb ugly fat Jewish Americans and like towards the end like it started to chip away at me I was like at first I'm like yeah that's me I'm an American and then as it went on I'm like you know what I'm a proud American like I believe

yeah and so I believe in being fat

100% and dumb and so you know what I was starting to feel like a lot of resentment on my way out of Italy Okay, I'm glad that you left before it boiled over.

But a gorgeous city, a gorgeous time was had by all.

And you know what they don't have in Italy?

LaCroix.

So you're back.

There's nothing like a La Croix when you've been off the sauce for six days, a La Croix Beerman.

Actually,

I had so much water because Pellegrino is like mother's milk there.

Right.

And I was thinking I should have went to the Pellegrino factory.

Indigenous to the land, yeah.

100%.

And they don't have Diet Coke.

Yeah.

And then when you order Pellegrino, you're like speaking the language.

Oh, yeah.

San Pelaglino.

I got really good at the accent.

Oh, also, I know how to say grazi.

Grazi?

Yeah, but then also, if you really mean it, grazi mile.

A thousand thank yous.

And then prego, which is like, of course, I think.

Okay.

Yeah.

So it was amazing.

And also, I stayed at the St.

Regis.

If you're going to Rome, what a spectacular pilace.

Nice.

Gorgeous.

Wonderful.

So it was great.

I was so glad I went.

Did you do any shopping?

Anything for me?

Anything for my birthday?

Oh, such a good question.

I tried so hard to shop.

And do you go to Fendi Roma?

I went to Fendi Roma and I said, oh, they hated me in there too.

I was like, I have credit at the store in New York.

Can I use it?

Because Ben got me like a really fucking ugly purse for my birthday.

And I've just like been sitting on this credit waiting to find something that I like.

Yeah.

And the guy was like, no.

I'm like, gotta go.

Like, the thing is, I tried so hard to shop.

First of all, I packed so incorrectly.

It is so hot there, Jackie.

It's 60 degrees.

Okay, you go outside in the sun.

You're so, I think you're close to the equator.

Yeah.

Oh my God, I could have died.

It was so hot.

So then when you're walking around and going to the store, they're worse in Italy than they are in America with the masks.

And I'm, you know, of course, don't want to spread COVID, but I'm like, sir, I cannot shop in in here.

I'm like, it's so unpleasant.

They don't believe in air conditioning.

It's so hot outside.

It's so hot.

It's hotter in the stores and the masks.

And they don't, like, if it slips little, they're like, Prego, Prego.

And I'm like, you know what?

This is not an environment for me to drop money.

Like, I want to be comfortable.

Yeah.

I tried on multiple occasions.

I almost bought something at Prada.

But you know what?

I wasn't feeling it.

And I was just like, I want to spend money because I'm in Rome.

But

if there's nothing I'm feeling,

I got new glasses.

No, it has to be the right environment.

I got new drinking glasses from like some really sick store that you would have loved.

And I think you're going to be like jealous of my my cups.

Ooh interesting.

Yeah but I didn't I was like disappointed in my but you didn't bring back a gift for me even though I might have brought back a gift for you and like presented to you on the show.

No, I know I really tried so very hard.

Okay.

And there wasn't like anything that like made me think of you, you know?

Okay.

I'm being totally honest.

Even at Fendi.

By the way, Fendi Skims, have you seen?

Of course I have.

Did you talk about it yesterday?

Yes, with Ben, and it's so sickening.

We don't need to go over it again, but I'm so excited.

So excited.

Everything looks deeply cool and stylish.

I was hoping that like since it was with skims, it would be like a lower price price.

No, not skims, but like maybe somewhere in the middle.

No, but it's Fendi materials.

I will be getting the bomber jacket.

I will be attempting to get the dress that's like the one that she's wearing on the cover of the Wall Street Journal because I think that would look nice with a bump.

I think so too.

And

there was something else, but I mean, I'll really take what I can get, you know?

Oh, and I want the tights.

Of course.

Yes.

Yes, it's very exciting.

Very, very exciting.

What else did I miss that you guys talked about?

I haven't had time to catch up up on the show.

How terrible?

Terrible.

What the fuck happened?

I don't know.

And did you hear that the, did you hear the 911 call?

I didn't hear it.

It was on TikTok.

Like, so I just thought it was really, first of all, this literally may be the saddest thing I've heard ever.

And when the

police 911 operator was like, was it a blank or a real gun?

Like, just asking for details, the woman was like, I'm not at liberty to say.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

I feel so bad for Alec Baldwin.

Like, that's terrible.

It's terrible.

It's a terrible story.

And I feel even worse for the woman who died and her family.

Oh, my God.

That was shocking.

And the movie is about an accidental death, the movie that they're filming.

Is it?

Yeah.

Are they going to keep doing the movie?

Great question.

Who wants to go see that?

I think it's.

I think that's the end of it.

It's lights out for the film.

I think as it should be.

Yeah.

But we'll see.

What else did you talk about?

What else?

Brian Laundry, dead.

Brian Laundry.

Suspicious.

Potentially dead.

Yeah, dead.

You know, a lot of people have been like conspiracy theorizing this whole thing.

And the whole time, I was like, you know what?

I don't think it's that conspiracy ridden.

This is making me question.

Yeah, a lot of people are sus about it, but we're still like waiting to see.

And then also Ben insisted we bring back Toast Movie of the weekend.

I saw.

Because he just like really wanted some homework.

And I was like, okay, I'm not going to make you watch Beverly Hills Reunion.

So we watched the Britney Murphy documentary.

It was so good.

I tried to download it on HBO Max on on the way home for the flight.

There's no HBO Max in Italy, so I couldn't even download the app on my iPad.

Just another reason you had to get home.

100%.

One last thing.

Last night I watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion that I missed just because I didn't want to be like so behind.

And I don't know what you had to say about it.

And I also watched Kirby Enthusiasm, but I thought that Erica did like a sickening job.

What I said was, Erica is clawing her way back and there is a clear path.

Don't know if it will be the one she goes down at the end of the day, but she is, if she, I said if she had to give herself a grade, this was obviously a very tall task for her.

It's an A.

Yeah.

And you know, the only thing that I feel like I really, like, with all the stuff, the legal stuff, like what she's telling me, I believe.

Like, it sounds like it's real.

Where she loses me when she's so mean to everyone.

And I think that this week is where she like lashes out at Sutton and just like lashes out at everyone and like doesn't apologize or at least own the fact like I'm going through a hard time.

I'm sorry.

I've been acting like an animal.

That's the one thing I wish she did and she didn't do.

And I think she digs herself in a little deeper in the next two episodes.

That's really where she's really bothering me.

The only part of the story that doesn't add up that I can't really, you know, go out on a limb for and just give her the benefit of the doubt is the timing of when she filed for divorce from Tom.

Of course.

Based on saying I was going to hold his hand until he died.

He starts mentally declining, and yet you divorcing him has nothing to do with the major lawsuits that are coming out a week later.

Yeah.

No, 100%.

And she didn't answer that question.

She talked about all the pictures she took at the crime scene of, not crime scene, of the car scene when it flipped and how she called all the doctors.

The orthopedic surgeon, yeah.

Yeah.

So I thought, though, it was a great performance by Erica.

I'm not going to lie.

I had the same thought.

It felt like watching a presidential debate.

You know, how you come out of the debate being like, who won?

Who do you think I, like, Erica was the clear winner?

Yeah.

No, she is,

she's coming back out.

And when Kathy Hilton cried, I cried.

The world cried.

The world cried.

It was so sad.

Yeah.

I fucking cried.

She's so cute.

She's so cute.

Yeah.

So yeah, I'm pretty caught up.

I watched Curbier Enthusiasm.

I spoke to you about it.

I was actually like Larry David could just like shout and I would be like, that is brilliant.

It was like a fine, regular episode of Curb, but like coming off this

insane pandemic we've just been through, you know, that Larry would have like the most hilarious reaction to like the masks and like the six feet.

And it's literally of all the shows I've ever watched, every time they bring up COVID, I can't.

Like it's so triggering for me.

This is the one show I wanted to do and they didn't even do it.

Yeah.

They mentioned one thing about the Purel.

There was no COVID.

Like I want want to i thought he came back because of covid i you should actually watch this episode of the morning toast from yesterday because there's a girl one of the hosts jackie said everything gorgeous oh yeah and she was looking really great yesterday she was she was and she's saying everything you're thinking okay like literally to it down to like the funny storylines and the unfunny ones i was so disappointed don't worry like your voice was heard heard because i had this exact same thoughts okay good and i converted ben to agreeing with me because when he came into the studio he was like it was so good and then by the end he was like you better laugh That's so funny because when I got into bed last night, I'm like, Have you seen Curb?

He's like, Yeah, I'm like, Oh, can I watch it?

He was like, Yeah, I'll watch it again.

It was, you know, very eh.

So, you really did change his mind.

I ruined it for him, yeah, 100%.

That's really funny.

Um, okay, like that was really all I had to unload.

Like, how was how was life without me here?

Life without you was, no, it was, it was nice and quiet, and it was just like it's nice to switch things up because then we miss you, and then when you're back, it's so exciting.

Yeah, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Totally, so no, it was pretty quiet.

It was just a lot of Ben time.

I watched the show succession while you were gone.

And I finished, I'm all caught up now, everyone.

And I need to know where people stand.

Are people, this isn't a spoiler because it's Team Logan or Team Kendall?

Because I know where I stand.

I just need to, like, I'm just wondering if I'm the outlier.

I have something to tell you.

Okay.

I met

in Italy

one

Italian toaster.

You met

an Italian toaster.

A piece of garlic bread?

No, like I met a bunch of like Americans in Rome.

Like a couple were staying at my hotel, like toasters from, but in the bathroom at the club, there was a fully

Italian toaster.

And you're telling me it was an Italian camper?

No, no, no, no, no.

She was a grown woman.

Interesting.

How was she?

She was sickening.

I couldn't believe it.

Like, because

I had met a bunch of people and they were like, I love the toast.

I'm like, where are you from?

Texas.

You know, like,

regular toasters, just on vacation.

Yeah.

This was a toaster in her homeland, in the motherland.

Yeah.

It was shocking.

Wow.

Well, shout out to you.

Yeah.

Ciao, millennial.

No.

I don't know.

You don't know.

No, because

no.

Buena notte is good night.

So buena morning, millennials.

Just watch this, okay?

Okay.

Good morning in Italian.

Bongiorno.

No, wait.

Wait.

Bongiorno.

Bongiorno.

That's what I said.

I know all this from my time doing research as an Italian camper.

Bongiorno, millennials.

Oh my god.

So good.

Okay, I think without further ado, we should get into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Okay, first story, big news.

Dave Chappelle speaks out in the wake of the Netflix stand-up special backlash.

He says, I said what I said.

Dave Chappelle is standing by his Netflix stand-up special, The Closer, but says that he's open to a discussion with the LGBTQ community about concerns he was perpetuating transphobia.

Days after the comedian's rep told people that he was willing to speak with the streamer's employees about the controversy, the comedian extended the offer to any transgender person who wanted to sit down with him, although he did have a few conditions.

He said, it was said in the press that I was invited to speak to the transgender employees of Netflix and I refused.

That is not true.

He said, if they invited me, I would have accepted it, although I'm confused about what we're speaking about.

I said what I said and boy, I heard what you said.

My God, how could I not?

You said you want a safe working environment at Netflix.

Well, it seems like I'm the only one that can't go to the office anymore.

So this has been an ongoing story since his special came out.

Yeah, but you know, like every time he releases a special, there is like a hoopla and then it dies down.

But this like won't die down because there was a big protest outside the Netflix office.

The employees walked out in solidarity against the special.

I guess they want the special taken down.

They want an apology.

So here's the thing.

And I think that there's a few important things to note.

First is that I do think a lot of, okay, so here's the thing.

Sorry, I want to start from scratch because I changed my mind.

Okay.

One, I watched a special.

Yes, me too.

About half of it.

Okay.

Maybe more.

And there were two jokes about Jews that I really did not like.

Like, I really was not into.

So you know what I did?

I turned off the special.

And then I went on with my life.

Yeah.

And

I don't know.

I just didn't feel like protesting.

I think that, like,

when it comes to comedy,

I don't know.

It's definitely a gray area for me.

And I feel like I haven't heard anyone making any outrage about the anti-Semitism.

No.

But you know what?

Like, yeah, it bothered me.

Did I feel like he should be canceled and stripped of all of his accolades and his movie should be taken out of film festivals?

No, because it's a joke.

And yes, I didn't like it, but it's a joke.

Like, it's a joke.

And so, I don't know.

I don't really feel like getting involved in this because it's like Dave Chappelle's mess.

And I don't want people to be like, I can't believe you said that about it.

If you're in defense of Dave Chappelle, then you're going down with him.

And it's like a fancy thing.

It's the vicious cycle of cancellation.

So honestly, like, I don't even want to talk about it because, like, you might not agree with me.

You might agree with me.

I watched a special and I stopped it halfway, and that was it, you know.

Yeah, because you didn't like what you heard.

No, but you didn't stage a protest, but I don't think so.

But you're not calling for it to be taken down.

No, and you know what?

I actually did really want to see his documentary about those shows that he did during COVID.

I thought they were that whole concept in his neighbor's cornfield was like super interesting.

I'm sure the documentary was so good.

The documentary is now being pulled from every major festival that it was submitted to or accepted into.

And, you know, when you're canceled, I think we can speak to this quite well.

You do what you can.

So he's now selling his own tickets, screening it himself.

And that's kind of the beauty of being someone with a platform is that while it's great to have a Netflix special or to have your movie at Toronto Film Festival, you don't need it.

Like you could get just as many eyeballs on it if you really see it yourself.

Yeah.

And I don't think he's canceled.

I think this is really an inflection point because Netflix and the CEO of Netflix is still standing by him.

They won't, they haven't taken down the special.

I think that would be the cancellation.

And it really is a part of a larger conversation that's been ongoing for years, and especially one, about cancel culture, and two, about comedy comedy and you say that it's a gray area but i actually think i think it's very black and white and i think that we're needing to decide now yeah are we are we making jokes that are offensive or are we not or are we not now i am team

i'm team jokes i'm team free speech and i think even though i the special i finished it it gave me a pit.

It made me really sad for like the whole day.

Yeah.

Because I found it to be anti-Semitic and I really, really didn't like those shows.

There was like a running joke in the entire special of the Jews.

If you've seen it, then you know what we're talking about.

Space Jews joke.

I can't even, it really

hurt my feelings.

Me too.

But

it's his special, it's his jokes, it's his prerogative.

And if I don't like it, then I'm gonna, I'm gonna go move on.

Yeah, same.

And that's what I did.

Same.

You know, so I

it's

a sticky situation.

Yes, you're 100% right.

This is a conversation we've been having for years where people keep,

you know, getting into pickles where it's like, in this, in the space of comedy, and I'm not talking about other situations when somebody, you know, says something bad on a podcast, not trying to be funny, just like, I'm not talking about situations like that.

I'm talking about in traditional stand-up comedy, comedy specials, TV shows that are funny.

Where do we land with this whole thing?

Because we're living in a very kind of politically correct time, especially on the internet.

So when comedy is so the like the complete contrast of that, personally, I find it refreshing, even if I don't like every joke that I hear, it does feel like a lot of times in this day and age, like everything you say is just watched, and you have to be so careful with your words if you, even, not even if you have a platform at work, anywhere you are.

Like we, we don't really allow people to like, you know, misspeak anymore.

And so for me, that contrasting comedy, it's like so refreshing.

It's just like, say whatever you want.

And that's always what comedy's been.

Dave Chappelle is this like old school comedian.

So while I didn't love everything I heard on the special, I just,

you know, moved on from it.

Yeah.

And I still like Dave Chappelle.

I just don't like those jokes.

Yeah.

I think that's fair.

I think it's fair too.

I mean, everybody obviously has a different take on it.

And I, but I do think that this is a very big moment.

It's a, it's, it's a crossroads.

It's a defining moment.

And like, because we need to decide as a culture, like, are we going to joke about stuff?

Are we going to be a little bit more like that?

He's really the last comic standing who will go there on anything.

Yeah, and

he'll never, you know, release an apology.

He'll never back down from a.

And, you know, I think what's important is, first of all, I know a lot of people who are upset about the special, like, have not watched it because there is this underlying context of like who gets to be offended and who doesn't get to be offended.

And I think one of the messages from what I saw of the special is like, there's selective outrage.

And so certain communities, you know, are entitled to outrage and certain are not.

And like a lot of people, you know, nobody was, you know, outraged when Dave Chappelle was making fun of his own community

or any other community.

He's made fun of everyone.

He's an equal opportunity comedian.

So it's like what he said in the special is actually kind of playing out in the public space right now.

Right, right.

It's really, this is a very interesting social experiment.

Yeah, and moment.

Yeah.

And we'll see where it goes from here if they do wind up sitting down, if they agree to his terms of watching the special and admitting that Hannah Gadsby isn't funny.

Yeah.

That was part of his terms if they want to meet with him.

They have to watch the special and

meet him at a place of his choosing and a time of his choosing and admit that Hannah Gatsby isn't funny.

And I can't lie, I don't know who that is.

So I don't know if she's funny or not.

I know who she is, but I haven't spent time with her comedy.

Well, she had a Netflix special that

she recently posted on Instagram.

She was very upset about the staveship hell thing.

She released this very harsh, you know, statement towards the CEO of Netflix, towards Netflix in general.

And what I found to be really interesting was the comedians fighting in the comment section.

There was a whole thread of Hannah Gadsby, Michelle Wolf, and Michael Che, like arguing about like, where's the line in comedy?

And Michelle Wolf and Michael Che was like, there isn't a line.

Yeah, there can't be a line because.

Well, Hannah Gadsby disagreed in the comments.

Where does she say the line is?

I don't remember.

It just doesn't.

No, it's like, either there isn't, like...

Can there even be a line?

Yeah.

And Jon Stewart came out in support of Dave Chappelle, who basically was like, his intention is obviously never to like hurt people.

It's a social commentary.

yeah um so i do think it's really interesting to hear from like big comedians a lot of them are not speaking out but the ones that are i'm interested to hear what they have to say yeah a lot of them are not speaking out well of course not because in this day and age if you say something even worse go down with the ship then you're transphobic yeah when that might not be the case at all and it's probably not the case so i think i didn't even want to talk about this because like

I hated the special, but I don't think it should be taken down and I don't think Dave Chappelle should be burned at the stake.

But I still, I thought the special was terrible.

How about that?

But I think he should be allowed to say that.

I do.

Yeah, I hear you.

Like, I didn't even laugh, I was so mad.

Yeah,

but it's also like this thing, this Dave Chappelle has this thing inside of him where it's like he's gonna say the craziest shit because he believes in the right to say to be able to, not necessarily because he believes it, right?

And I think that that is important.

I agree.

So it's very extreme and it's at the expense of some of us, but I don't know.

It just,

the special bothered me, but Dave Chappelle doesn't bother me, if that makes sense.

Yeah.

And I'm sorry if you disagree with me.

Like, please don't cancel me.

I'm just not in the mood.

Not in the mood.

I've had such a long travel day.

I was on the plane for 10 hours yesterday.

Yeah.

It was a treacherous flight.

But they did serve a cheese pizza.

Have you ever had that on?

Oh my God.

When I came back from...

Did you fly Delta?

United.

Okay.

Okay, no, when I flew back from France, they gave me like a pizza in a box.

Oh.

It was like a pizza burrito almost.

Okay, that's not what what I got.

I got, and you know,

she woke me up for lunch and I was like slightly pissed.

And then she's like, I have a cheese pizza.

I'm like, give it.

I'm your girl.

It was almost like a camp pizza.

It was like perfectly circular.

It was so delicious and moist.

It was like a personal crunchy pizza.

A personal pizza.

Like a kid's pizza.

Yes.

It was so good.

And I was, you know, I'm really slowly turning.

And when it comes to like business class, I'm really turning into United Girly.

Like, don't sleep on it.

I'm telling you.

They have the best food in United Polaris.

Interesting.

Yeah.

And just gorgeous service wow you love to see it except i did have like an interaction yesterday with a flight attendant that made me like really annoyed i told you about it yeah you did and i don't know if people are gonna agree with me but like i was it was the earliest flight i was so tired i passed out on the flight and i'm wearing you know an eye mask over my eyes and my mask and I must have been asleep for like an hour and somebody's like scratching my back, like waking me up like in a sweet maternal way, like, hey, and I lift up my eye mask and I'm like, who the fuck is waking me up?

And she's like, can you pull your mask over your nose?

Okay, yes, my mask, in my sleep, not my fault, I fell asleep with it on my nose, had slid down.

Now,

was there anyone within 12 feet of me?

No, because I was in an individual business class seat.

Not that people in business class don't have to wear masks.

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm just saying, look scientifically.

Scientifically.

There was nobody within 12 feet of me.

I was under a blanket with an eye mask and a face mask.

A sliver of my nose was showing.

She really had to wake me up.

I know she's just doing her job, and and I'm not.

It's not about her.

I'm not blaming her.

It's not about her.

It's about the population.

The circumstances.

Yeah.

I was so, if I wasn't able to fall back asleep, I swear to God, I would have burned the plane down.

Like, I was so angry.

I was just like, I really respect the hustle.

Like, you doing your job.

It's not about the fight attendant, I swear.

I just felt like it was really uncool of her.

Like, for real.

She couldn't have just let it slide for a couple hours.

And she didn't see that little nose.

I know.

And I have such a little nose.

That's why you have to sleep, like, cover your face.

No, just put the blanket down.

You got a dab on them.

Literally.

I was so scared.

Yeah, no, and you have to face the window.

I was.

I was not facing the aisle.

I was facing the window.

I was on my side.

How about that?

I don't know how she even saw my nose.

What was she doing so close to me?

She was violating.

She was a violating.

I'm kidding.

But, like, honestly, it was so annoying.

I wish I could have seen my face when I realized that's why she woke me up.

I'm like, what?

It's just like, no way.

No way did you do this.

Yeah.

It was fucking crazy.

That's crazy.

We're living in such fucking crazy times.

If you saw the hoops I had to jump through to get to Italy, like the tests, the vaccine,

the portals.

So you had to have a negative test.

Okay, so.

To come.

To fly, yeah.

So on my way there, I had a negative test and a vaccination card.

Yeah.

On my way back, I had gotten a test in Italy and, of course, my vaccination card.

Right.

And I was wearing a mask.

So you're sitting on the plane with everybody else on the plane who has a negative test and a vaccination test.

And a vaccination card, and your lethal nose is showing, and you got to wake up.

No, it was so insane.

And honestly, the travel has become so unenjoyable, not because of the mask.

Honestly, it doesn't bother me that much anymore.

Literally running through Italy trying to get a COVID test in Italian.

I finally get one.

They never give me the results.

My friend Margot Fish runs down to the pharmacy before Shabbat starts.

It's banging down the door, like to give us our results.

She doesn't know Italian.

It's just so complicated now to travel.

These portals that you have to, and nobody tells you, like, you don't get an email from your airline, like, hey, here's all the 11 things you have to do.

You have to Google it yourself.

Like, if it wasn't for the pointsguy.com, like, I wouldn't know what to do.

Wow.

It's just chaos.

Chaos.

So worth it, though.

Well, I have a story.

Our next story was handpicked just for you.

I could have shared it yesterday, but I waited till you came back.

Because Tar Galmusa and Heather Rae Young are married, and it's the love that she's always dreamed of.

I saw it on TikTok because they're both like thirsty on TikTok and they use these like overhyped, like romantic sounds, and it's so cringy.

Oh, stop.

This is their moment.

You know, it's like every like baking cupcakes, they make a moment out of that.

But like here, they actually have a wedding.

They're two celebrities.

Like, this is it for them.

So they were married on Saturday night near Santa Barbara.

They were surrounded by family and friends, including most of Heather's castmates from Selling Sunset, which is coming back like any day now.

Yeah.

Selling Sunset's coming back any day now.

So that's really exciting.

Christine was obviously not there, right?

I don't think so.

I'm going to assume no, because she wasn't at any of the smaller engagements.

Was Christine a hack there?

Yes.

That's nice.

I think so.

I think so.

You know what I actually thought was a cute thing?

But I don't keep up with the hacks.

No, me neither.

But I saw a headline that her and her new fiancé were at Universal universal after the nuptials.

But does that mean after they went?

I didn't actually, I didn't see her there.

I didn't care enough to click.

Can you Google it?

I didn't care enough to click.

Okay, but I actually did see a cute little tradition that they did because you know there's a father-daughter dance at every wedding if you have a dad.

Christina Hack Tarik.

Heather Ray danced with her dad while Tarek danced with his daughter.

It was like really sweet.

I actually thought that was cute.

Oh, that is cute.

I guess it doesn't happen often.

No, it's like if you're making someone with kids who happens to have a daughter.

Right.

I thought it was a really sweet

idea.

Like if anyone is getting married and they have a daughter, like I think that's like something you should steal.

I thought it was really cute.

Wow, a compliment for the Target.

That's my only compliment.

Also, Christina was not at the wedding.

She was noticeably absent.

Yeah, I mean, I guess it's not conventional for your ex-wife to be at your wedding, but I don't know.

Sometimes when like you have kids, if you co-parent very well, you want it to be like this copacetic, but it's usually not.

Yeah, it's that's, I've never really thought about it, but it's also like your ex-wife is someone that you talk to like all the time.

You know, she's probably coming over to the house in a few days to pick up the kids.

Pick up the kids.

And we just had this big event and you weren't there.

No, it's like rude.

Yeah.

Especially because like they at least pretend like they have a decent.

I don't think that they do.

I think like if I know if I know what I think I know about the El Musa hack crew, it's no bueno.

Got it.

Okay.

So maybe it's for the best.

So Heather Ray Young like looked like exactly what I thought she was going to look like.

And her wedding ended at 11.59 and she changed her Instagram name at 12 o'clock.

Like Heather Ray Young El Musa.

Oh no, no, Heather Ray El Musa, but her at is still Heather Young or whatever.

Okay, Heather Ray Young.

I'm sorry, Heather Ray Elmusa.

Heather, Heather Elmusa.

No, it's Heather Ray El Musa.

Yeah.

Heather Ray Elm.

Okay, so she's getting a little bit of a drink.

She dropped it young, but in her at, like, her actual username is still Heather Ray Young.

Right.

I'm sure, you know, even she can't move that quickly.

I love seeing how fast people do that on Instagram.

I know.

I wonder.

Well, most times, like, when it's like

people who I follow who are not celebrities, like, they change their handle really quickly, but she just changed her name, which isn't a big lift.

No, changing your name, your handle is such a big deal.

Yeah.

But I actually, so I used to think it was like kind of like people who did it the next day was like, wow, you've been waiting like forever to change it.

But now I think it's actually, I really like it because I just immediately start associating them with their new last name.

Yes.

Lauren Lane.

And the longer they go with their old last name, it's harder to disassociate.

100%.

And I think the perfect, but also when you're an influencer and like your name is your brand, you have to be very careful.

Yeah.

So I actually think like the person who did it perfectly is is lauren lane yeah and that might be because like her new name is like such a cutesy like instagrammer name yeah that she's lauren lane to me yeah and i love that name no formerly lauren bush now in case you don't know who people who make the the jump i always like then it really works okay so you know taylor strekker and taylor donahue got married but they can't both be they'll they'll be taylor donahue and taylor donahue or taylor strekker and taylor strekker what do you do in that situation You just leave it?

I think you got to leave it.

Yeah.

Otherwise they'll have the same name.

No, how crazy would that be if there were two like Taylor strikers running around?

Yeah.

Wow.

I never thought of that.

I know me neither.

And I was like, why aren't you guys changing your names?

And they're like, we can't.

I'm like, why?

Yeah.

It took me like 20 minutes to figure it out.

I'm like, oh, yeah, you can't.

Yeah.

That's like if Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift had gotten married.

Right.

Wow.

Crazy.

Or you could have the opposite.

Ralph Lauren's daughter married a girl named Lauren.

So she's Lauren Lauren.

Even though the real left name is Lipschitz, but.

Lauren.

Ralph Lauren's daughter.

Sorry, son, married a girl named Lauren.

Oh, so then she's Lauren Lauren.

Even though...

Lauren Lorraine.

Lauren Lorraine.

And also, Lorraine is not their last name.

It's Ralph Lipschitz.

Yeah.

So she's Lauren Lipschitz, which is adorable.

Adorable.

Like a Jewish queen, you know?

Yeah.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

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It's a pleasure.

Okay, next up, some news that I didn't think I would care about, but I really am.

But here we are.

But here we are.

Katie Thurston and Blake Moynes break up after Bachelorette Engagement.

It is over for Katie and Blake.

The Bachelorette couple whose engagement aired on the ABC dating series season 17 finale in August took to social media on Monday to announce their breakup.

Wow, August.

I didn't even realize it was that recent.

I thought it was like June.

I have so many thoughts.

They both posted the same statement that was like so...

cooked up by PR and you know not even trying to hide it but where they used all the bingo terms it is with mutual love and respect that we have decided to go our separate ways we are so grateful for the moments of two months that we shared together and the entire journey that has unfolded this year but we ultimately have concluded that we are not compatible as life partners and it it is the most caring choice for both of us to move forward.

Blah, blah, blah.

What do you think is the record for the shortest bachelor?

Is it Whitney and Chris Soules?

I was thinking Whitney and Chris Soules, so I don't know if I can do the math quickly enough.

I think they were like six weeks.

It was really fast.

When I saw this, I was thinking of them.

Me too.

And so I...

I don't know why this shocks me so much because it's like, even if they're not suitable soulmates, like I would have thought that they would have milked it a little longer.

Yeah, me too.

Because one, like, if you go through your whole season of the bachelor or the The Bachelorette and you break up within two months, no offense, it's a complete waste of time.

It's a squandered opportunity.

You had 25, you know, eligible people who were there for you and you, your picker was off.

Jackie, you literally took the words right out of my mouth.

What I was going to say was, like, first of all, Katie was the bachelorette that, like, honestly, nobody wanted.

And now that her whole season was a failure,

the the entire process was a waste of time.

I don't feel like, okay, so something so I'm thinking of like Hannah Brown here because Hannah Brown,

by the way, squandered her opportunity.

It's the shortest engagement, probably.

But yeah, because they broke up before, after the Final Rose.

But with Hannah Brown, she was so beloved that like she had this amazing career after with the Dancing with the Stars.

Her Instagram blew up.

Like she became so popular.

Like it wasn't even about the franchise.

Also, like

Hannah Brown followed her heart.

She was wronged.

And that's why she, like, afterwards, like everyone who

rallied there around her.

It's not that she chose someone and they spent two months together and realized they don't actually like each other.

Yeah.

She was conned.

Like, she was conned and she didn't have all the information.

And that's kind of not her fault.

No, of course not.

But what I'm saying is like...

No, I'm not saying that you think that it is.

No, but I'm saying that.

So I don't think that her season was...

How could she have done it ever any differently?

I mean, when you think of the fact that she had Tyler Cameron, like, it's shocking.

I'm sorry.

You know what she did?

She got conned.

But even after her season, people were so like obsessed that like it didn't even matter who she ended up with.

Like she was a bona fide star, you know?

I couldn't even see Katie being on on the bachelor, on the Dancing with the Stars.

Like, I don't think she, she's not universally like, like, her season was just like now, especially given the fact that they're broken up.

And even if it wasn't, it was just like the most random fucking season.

Like, I also think that's because you didn't watch her season and you made all the others, so everyone else is so top of the body.

I didn't watch Hannah Brown's season.

I didn't watch Hannah Brown's season either, and still, I feel this way.

Yeah, no, I think I'm, no, that was a fair point you brought up, but I don't watch Hannah Brown's either.

You debunked it, you shot it right down.

I'm a debunker.

I'm a mythbuster.

That is really true.

So, anyways, I just, it's always shocking to me, not that they break up, but that they're ready to admit that it was a failure.

And they, they waste the opportunity of when you're in a couple, even if you're not everyone's favorite, you're more relevant.

Like, so honestly, I actually have a lot of respect for it.

Yeah, I mean, but that also probably goes to show that these past two months were the time

where like that was them, you know, faking it, trying to be, like, get the pain.

As long as they could.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Especially like with social media, you could just, you know, keep the charade going for so long.

Yeah.

The only other thing that comes to mind is like Ari, Becca, and Lauren.

And it's like, they broke up, obviously, so quickly because he knew that, you know, he picked wrong, but he

then remedied the situation and like found love.

I wonder if they're like, and I always wonder this

for people who, you know, they clearly picked the wrong person, but they had a great group of guys.

Is there anyone that you would want to go out with now?

That's such a fair point.

I think about that all the time.

I think a lot of people were wondering that about Hannah Brown, like with her and Tyler spending the pandemic together.

But they made it clear that they were just like really, really good friends, which was just like kind of weird.

No, that's a very fair point.

I'm sure that there are.

Everyone says this guy, Greg, from Katie's season, is

a great guy.

But then I also saw headlines that he was like with other Bachelor Nation girlies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I don't know.

No, also, just I could really talk about that Ari and Lauren situation for days on end because I feel like they got so much shit.

when I felt like from the way I saw it, Ari did everything right.

He made a mistake, of course, and that was a bad mistake to make, but he fixed it in a way that was right for him, was right for Lauren.

And he broke up with Becca on national television, and she became the bat thread.

And now she doesn't have to work anymore.

She has a podcast.

She went on paradise sick.

She's a girly girl, and she's fine.

Yeah.

And you know what?

She might not have had all of that if it weren't for Ari doing it so publicly.

So I just want to say.

If he had like waited the requisite two months and it was irrelevant, and then he secretly reached out to Lauren after all the press had moved on and it was just like, oh, I'm dating someone else for my season.

Like, Peter and Kelly.

Right.

Right.

Yeah, no.

And who won Peter's season?

I don't even remember.

Hannah Ann.

No, Maddie.

No.

He won that.

Yeah, that was actually.

That was a season that did it for me.

And Hannah Ann and Madison are famous because of the work that they've done on Instagram.

So stunning.

But they could have easily just, they weren't, they didn't get the winner's treatment.

Jackie, you're so right.

Ari Lindike could have pulled a Peter Weber, but instead he gave Becca a career.

Yeah.

I know that's mean to say, but he did.

Yeah, he, well.

He elongated her career.

He else.

In this space.

Yeah.

Because she never, she might not have been the bachelor.

If they had just pretended to date for two months, someone else would have gotten picked and that's what would have been.

Yeah.

So just something to think about, everyone.

Anyways, Blake and Katie.

Blady is over.

That's really, I don't know.

It's just, I can't.

I found it to be really shocking.

Yeah.

I don't really care.

You don't care.

No.

Okay.

Well, our next story is some more bachelor news.

You know, some happy couple news.

Former bachelor host Chris Harrison is engaged to Lauren Zima.

The former bachelor host announced on Instagram on Monday that he's engaged.

He unveiled the news by sharing a sweet photo from the proposal, which took place at Brand Vineyard in Napa Valley, California.

So, Chris Harrison has given out his final rose.

How long were you waiting to say that?

Not very long.

I like it, it's just the obvious.

No, it's just cute.

Like,

like, you care even like that.

No, so cute.

Like,

so cute.

Love.

What else is there to say?

I'm so happy for them.

Yeah.

She's a nice girl.

He's an like, it's great.

Yeah, you could say that about really any engagement news, but just because he was like the love doctor.

Yeah, no, but they were like dating for a long time.

What happens next?

You get engaged.

Like, I just, I have like no feelings about this.

Like, that's amazing news.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

No, I'm not being bitchy.

I actually am scanning my mind for one other thing to say, and I can't.

Like, what is he up to these days?

I'm sure he had a lot of time to search for a ring.

He doesn't have a job.

He's a boy with no job.

Yeah.

Okay.

So we'll move on.

No.

Because I don't want to hurt you any further.

No, I actually had one more thing to say.

Do you think he's going to ever get a job again?

If another network has a dating show,

they should hire him just because it would be so much press for the show.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

And you know what time it is because we've been separated.

It's the final.

Why aren't you doing it with me?

I am going to come in on the do's.

It's the final story.

That was also a big one.

Scoozy.

Scoozy.

Me on my scooter.

Me and Scoozy.

Scoozy.

Scoozy on my scooter.

Scoozy.

Scoozy.

Okay, our fifth and final story is a little.

It's the fun.

Oh, Ben's rendition of the final story blew up or broke the internet.

It broke the internet.

He has such a big head because, like, these last couple days, like, pictures of him, the clips you've been posting, which, by the way, you've been really maintaining my flow.

Thank you so much for keeping.

People thought I stepped out of line.

No, I thought you did too, but I saw you got a plan.

I know.

I had a plan.

The engagement on our Instagram has just been like literally double what it normally is because it's, you know, we post the same shit every day and and it's something different.

And he's literally going to leave me.

He is such a big head.

Also, just reminded me we need to post one more thing.

Should I do it now?

I had an idea of, oh, they wanted to see Italian Theo.

Okay, but also.

No, no, no.

You're not posting that.

A selfie.

Okay, an Italian Theo.

Italian Theo.

I got like such bad pictures and this Italian Theo started barking, like really did not enjoy what I was offering.

Right.

No, but Ben explained that on the show that he looks really scared.

So everybody was like so excited to see this.

Oh, obviously everyone didn't see my Instagram story because I posted so much Italian Theo content.

Oh, so then we saw it.

That?

Yeah, but we want you with him.

Maybe do a slide.

Okay.

Okay.

And then we're going to.

I'm on it.

I'm on it.

You can, why don't you just chat with the peeps for a little while?

I'm going to share the fifth and final story, if that's, if you can keep one ear open.

I'm here.

Kristen Stewart says she's only made five really good films.

And surprisingly, they're not Twilight 1, Twilight 2, Twilight 3, Twilight 4, and Twilight 5.

No, they are.

Those are the five.

No, she's her own biggest critic, and she says, I've probably made five really good films out of 45 or 50 films.

Ones that I go, wow, that person made a top-to-bottom, beautiful piece of work.

It's so hurtful for her to say that.

Like about

45 films that didn't make the cut.

She only name-dropped two movies that she thinks are those really great films: Clouds of Siles Maria and Personal Shopper.

So then the other three are, you know, up for debate.

And I would say it would be Twilight 1, Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight 4 and 5.

And Breaking Dawn Part 2.

I would agree.

Here's the thing.

And I think that's what she meant too.

She's doing promo for Spencer.

So like, wouldn't she have included Spencer in that?

Well, maybe, like, this leaves it open to Spencer as one of those, potentially.

But wouldn't she have said it if she's doing press for it?

If it were the case, like, she's trying to sell tickets.

Like,

yeah, that's true.

The two movies that she named, I had never heard of or seen.

And honestly, like, hearing her probably say that she doesn't, like, think that the Twilight movies are that good makes me really upset because what are the odds that any of the Twilight movies are actually those remaining three?

Like honestly, zero.

Okay, maybe just like breaking down part two.

But

no, what's.

No, part one, honestly.

It's crazy because I imagine if you're an actor, like you do a lot of movies, you read a lot of scripts, but you don't wind, like the odds that you wind up in a movie that is a perfect, like a work of art, you know, just as she described, like a great movie.

I'm proud to be a part of this.

And something that will like live on for a very long time, the odds of that are really slim.

So when you get something like that,

especially if you do like 45 or 50 movies, that's a big deal.

Now, the two movies she mentioned, I never heard of.

Yet she was in five movies that I have heard of.

Twilight is really that good.

No, I know.

And like, that's what I'm saying.

I'm gathering that she doesn't agree with us.

It's going to live on.

It better.

It's just like when I was watching the Britney Murphy documentary and how her first movie role was Ty Frazier and Clueless.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, she did a lot of TV before that, but that was her first movie.

And it's like, that movie will stand the test of time.

Like, she was, and, but what's what's crazy about Brittany Murphy, I would say she was in about three movies that are that.

Uptown Girls.

Uptown Girl, Eight Mile, and Clueless.

Also, Just Married is really good.

You know what?

Before you said Uptown Girl, I was going to say Just Married.

No, Uptown Girl is her best work.

It is that.

And it's Dakota John.

Dakota Fanning's best work.

So I think that Kristen Stewart, actually, she might be on to something about like someone who's like a really storied actress, has five good, like five

iconic movies.

But then, you know what I think about?

I think about how like every year for the last like 10 or 15 years, every movie that Leonardo DiCaprio has been in is like the best movie of all time right you know because like Wolf of Wall Street Django so like the Revenant I didn't like it but it is like world-renowned that's what he won the Oscar for Titanic Shutter Island and then even like random what's eating Gilbert Grape like

how is it that there's Kristen Stewart but then there's also Leonardo DiCaprio who every single movie he's ever done is the best movie ever you know does he have any bad movies catch me if you can the best movie ever like Find me a bad Leonardo DiCaprio.

Well, you just said the one that's coming out on Netflix doesn't look good.

It doesn't, but again, I haven't seen it, it, so that's really not fair to assess.

Yeah, I wonder how.

Is it the Leo or is it the script choosing?

Right.

You know, it's a chicken and egg situation.

Is he making the movies great or is he choosing great movies?

That's such a good call.

No, but the movie, like,

Django was like this gorgeous Quentin Tarantino movie.

Like, of course, it was great with Leonardo, but it would have been great without him, too.

Yeah.

No.

Jamie Foxx was excellent in that.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Inception, Great Gatsby, The Departed, Blood Diamond.

Oh, no.

That movie really fucked with me.

I know, but it was so good.

So good.

The Aviator, Gangs of New York.

Wow.

I'm telling you, see?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, what would you say is LeonardoCaprio's best movie?

Well, I think it's a very subjective question.

Yeah.

Let us know what you think Leonardo DiCaprio's best movie is.

Honestly, I would say...

Shutter Island.

But only, I think it was his best acting because...

No, I think his best acting was What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

Oh, that's true.

But Shutter Island, like, it was all dependent on, he sold the story.

It was a great story, but, like.

Yeah, it could have been like tacky.

The acting in Shutter Island was his best acting, but it wasn't his, it's not the best movie because there were so many others.

And also because the concept of Shutter Island could be like a cliche psychological thriller, but he made it like this Oscar worthy moment.

Yes, yes.

And he acted as, you know, these two people.

Yeah, multiple personalities.

Yes.

An interesting, you know, of acting craft discussion.

Is it the act or is it the script?

Let us know.

Yeah, is it the chicken or the egg?

Mm-hmm.

You know what's so great?

What?

Today's show's not over because it's Tuesday, and that means it's Dear Toasters Day, and we got three submissions from Toasters in Need of Our Help.

And I think,

help is on the way because Dear Toaster is here.

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And the solo stove is the easiest fire pit.

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100%.

All right, first up, Claudia and Jackie.

So, I have a boyfriend.

We've been together for almost four and a half years.

We're from the same hometown.

We've essentially been in a long-distance relationship for the majority of our time together, besides the summer and breaks from school.

We're the same age.

He's finishing undergrad, and I'm in grad school.

He's not a big phone guy.

We don't consistently text anymore, and we basically rely on Snapchat to communicate daily.

Cringe, I know.

I hope this isn't considered crazy, and please call me out if it is.

Please call me out if it is, but I rely on my find my friends to know what he's up to.

It helps me ease my spiraling thoughts when he hasn't reached out in a few hours, and I check his location and see he's at the library studying or out at a bar on the weekend or hanging with his friends at their house.

When I can have more context for what's going on in his life, I find I have more grace for why he isn't responding or prioritizing me.

Since last week, his location has read, no location found.

Have you spoken to him?

Like, is he dead?

I think he may have just turned off location services altogether or need to update his phone, who knows?

But it doesn't read that he has stopped sharing his location with me so I know that he probably has no idea that I can't see it anymore I don't think he necessarily knows how often I check his location but he definitely knows that I can use it for example the last time he his location stopped working was the one time he lost his phone and needed me to help him find it which obviously didn't work because the find my friends was not working I'm trying to gauge if I bring it up to him that his location hasn't been working when we FaceTime next or do I wait until he visits me next month to tell him in person does he know that she tracks him she knows that he knows that he has her location but he doesn't know that she's checking it every day got Got it.

So she said, do I say fuck it and live like the old days where we didn't have this type of technology as a resource?

What if he loses his phone again and I'm of no help?

Should I admit how much I use find my friends or just say, I happened to see it wasn't working?

Just 2021 problems.

Thank you, ladies.

P.S.

Congrats on all the achievements of TMT.

N-Log, Bebe, Spritz Society.

Yeah, thank you.

Thanks, girl.

Okay, I want to say one thing before we give you advice.

And this might be hurtful.

But it really doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship.

You're in a long distance relationship where you barely hear from the person.

And it's one thing to not be, oh, I'm not good with my phone.

But a boyfriend, like, you got to talk to your boyfriend.

Yeah.

I just think outside of the find my friends, you should demand more of his attention.

That's, that's the first thing.

That's an interesting point.

Because I'm hearing from her.

And of course, she's checking the location.

She's desperate for something.

Yeah.

And he's giving her nothing.

And honestly, she's in a relationship with Find My Friends.

Yeah.

And like, it's one thing to not be good with your phone.

Not everyone is going to be like us.

I can understand that.

But to not call every couple hours, it's your boyfriend.

Like,

for five years.

So So, I just, maybe it took another person seeing this from the outside to let you know, like, you deserve more than that.

I hadn't even seen, I hadn't even thought of it like that.

I was just like thinking of the actual logistics of how you're going to tell him that his location turned off.

But I also think that you are relying on it way too much.

And maybe it's stymying communication because you know you don't need to, if you see he's at the library, you're not going to ask him what's up.

But maybe if you asked him what's up, it would spark a conversation.

But think of the alternative.

Like, she drives herself crazy because he doesn't answer.

Yeah.

So she's like, what's up?

And he gets an answer.

Oh, he's fucking somebody else.

That's what I'm saying.

You're in a relationship with five of my Friends.

You're in a relationship with his location.

You're having a conversation with, where are you?

I'm at the library.

How long are you there for?

I'm watching.

No, literally, because she has to.

No, I know, but like you said, which I didn't even realize, like, that's not much of a relationship.

We have an overall relationship.

Long-distance relationships are all about communication.

They're mostly about communication.

So if you have the distance, but you don't have the communication, what do you have?

Find my friends.

And now she doesn't have that anymore.

So of course she's quite gay.

So honestly, I don't even think it's about the find my friends.

I think it's like about

your relationship in general.

Not that it can't be fixed, but like you really, when he comes to visit, I don't think you should be focused on how to tell him about his location.

You should be focused on saying, I don't not getting enough out of this relationship.

Yes, but if you want to, I think you should do these two things separately.

Like first, be like, you know, text him one time, hey, what's up?

Where are you at?

If he doesn't respond for a very long time, then you can, when you do speak to him, say, by the way, I saw that your find my friends wasn't working.

I was nervous because I didn't hear from you.

Right.

So just go about it like you just discovered it in a very benign way.

And then also I would find the time and the words to have a conversation about the larger us.

Yeah.

But you know, if you have a man or a woman or anyone and you don't have their location, like you ain't living.

Not because I don't trust Ben, but because I don't trust Ben when he says he's outside.

When he says I'm five minutes away.

No, he's like, I'm at the light.

Come down when he's picking me up in the car.

Really?

You're six blocks up town.

Right.

How are you at the light?

Right.

That's why you should have everyone's location.

Yeah.

Okay, next year.

No, your time is so valuable.

Like, you could be listening to episodes of the toast and signing up for Patreon.

Patreon.com/slash morning toast.

Claudia and Jackie, I've been a toaster for a little over a year, thanks to Bobby Bones and his wife being fans and mentioning you guys on his show.

Thanks, Bobby.

Oh, my God.

Thanks, Bobby.

So happy to have found you.

Love the podcast.

Anyways, I am happily married to my high school sweetheart.

His name is Ben, and we have a

seven-month-old Bebe girl who we adore.

I'm an ICU nurse on a COVID unit.

Like many hospitals, my unit is extremely short staff, so we have a lot of travel nurses on my floor.

We recently got this new guy.

Let's call him Zach.

There's something about Zach that I'm just so drawn to.

He's cute, funny, and just an all-around cool guy.

He's so easy to talk to.

He's a huge sports fan, as am I, whereas my husband hates professional sports.

I find myself hoping he's working on the days that I'm working, and when we are working together, I talk to him or ask him for help with tasks over other people.

This past weekend, a coworker threw a fall-themed party.

Sounds so funny.

Falls chili.

Was it a fall harvest?

She threw a fall-themed party for all of our work friends.

I went out of my way to invite him and didn't invite any of the other travel nurses.

So here's my question.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I love and adore Ben, but I've never found myself really this interested in another guy since I've been with my husband almost 10 years.

I would never cheat on Ben, and Zach knows I'm happily married, but I also kind of get the vibe that he's into me too.

Should I try and stay away from Zach?

Is there anything wrong with a little innocent workplace flirting?

Is this normal?

I don't want to be a bad wife.

Please help.

Thanks so much.

Love a nurse with a dilemma.

I'm first of all, thank you for your service.

And second of all, I don't know.

I feel like it's fine.

You know what?

Like, I think it's fine.

Like, you, if you really believe, like, you would never cheat on your husband.

Yes.

You know, a little workplace flirting, like, I'm, it's, it makes it more interesting.

And you guys are obviously working in very serious circumstances.

So if you can find that little brightness in your day, just make sure it doesn't go too far.

But.

I think, I think it's okay.

And I think, I think it'll play itself out, you know, like, no, and you know what?

Like, it's always the shiny new toys, always shiny and new and as like a woman when you get older like you just like want more attention like no matter who it's new and like she's a seven month old and she's just like out and someone thinks she's interesting like go for it go for talking to them and enjoying your life in a very platonic harmless flirting

for a woman is fine

oh my god if the role if ben is flirting with his work wife while you have a seven month old at home i'm coming to the house i'm coming to the office and I'm burning it down.

And I'm terminating your employment.

100%.

For you, totally fine.

You're a nurse.

You work hard.

You work hard.

You deserve a little flirtation.

I think it's totally fine.

As long as you know where the line is.

And there is a very clear line.

But just, you know, have fun.

Live a little.

All right, final one.

Dear Jackie and Claudia and Theo and Brutadu.

Brutadu.

I've always wanted to have a reason to write into dear toasters, and now I finally do.

I've been dating a PJOM for almost three years.

He's 31 and I'm 26.

He recently bought his own house and I live separately.

My lease ends in June and I started thinking about moving in with him once that happens.

Everything in our relationship has been going smoothly until a literal bomb was dropped just days ago.

His sister in her late 20s is moving in with him.

She usually lives with his mom, but circumstances have changed chaotically and my PJOM boyfriend asked her if she wanted to move in.

I plan to move in soon, but who wants to live with her, with your boyfriend and his grown sister?

I initially agreed to the sister moving in situation thinking it would be a very short-term moment, but she already came to look at the house, her new room, and talked about all the decor and reorganizing she's going to do.

Two days later, she's completely moved in her decorations are everywhere she's hung pictures on the wall put curtains up completely reorganized every drawer in the house to the way that she wants it my boyfriend is really ocd he didn't even want me hanging things up when i moved in to decorate when he moved in to decorate sorry so when i saw her completely take over the house it seemed like she's staying more permanently than my initial thought i don't have a brother so i don't know what type of bond but it just doesn't seem normal who just completely takes over their brother's new house and acts like the girlfriend doesn't exist now i don't want to be around now i don't even want to be around his house especially not around his sister because she she overstepped her boundaries.

And now I just feel uncomfortable being in a house that once felt like my own.

I don't want to sound like a bitch and say your sister needs to move out, but she's older than me and needs to grow up and not take over her brother's house.

How should I go about this?

Is this a red flag for the future?

Will this crazy family always get in the way of our relationship, or am I just overreacting?

Any advice is appreciated.

Well, this is definitely an obstacle, but I'm going to go operate on the pretense that like you and this man are OTP and that the relationship is good and that it's worth fighting for.

And I don't know, he's five years older than you and like bought his own house.

There's something worth pursuing.

That is a green flag.

Green.

So my advice is to push your way in there.

Elbows, get in there.

And when you do move in in June, and when he asks you to move in, hopefully he does it in a way that's like romantic and a big deal.

And then you just need to set some guidelines.

Your circumstances.

And you say, so I would love to move in with you.

Like, I'm crazy about you, but I just want there to be an understanding.

Like, this is my home too.

And so if it's your home too, then you can throw away her decor or, you know, know, get rid of it.

Because also, like, I hate to be crass, but like, what's the rent situation here?

Right.

If you move in with him, are you helping with the mortgage?

Is sister paying any bills?

Because if she's not, no bills, no say, no decor.

No, I'm sorry.

Like, I just think that if you're a grown woman and you're living in your boyfriend, your younger brother's house, or maybe older, I don't know who's older.

You're living in

your older brother's house and his girlfriend moves in, your time is up.

Yes, but we can't fix this woman.

So I don't want to focus.

No, I just wanted to to talk about the chutzpah that is this woman of course putting up curtains of course making herself known when she's literally someone's doing her favor but like from our purview of being just the podcast giving advice to the girlfriend who's trying to move in not not you nor i know nor she can change the sister that's true so all you can do is set up the most comfortable situation for yourself and hopefully it makes the sister uncomfortable yeah but june is a long time but i do think that the best plan is definitely the long game here if he doesn't ask you to move in in june get he's i'm done with him.

Like I hate people who move slow.

You love me or not?

He's fucking his sister 100%.

If he doesn't ask you to move in in June, you've got other problems.

But if he does, which we're expecting him fully to do,

you said I would love to.

Your plan is perfect.

It is your home.

You just move on day one.

You take out the curtains, you put in your curtains, you get a rug, you do whatever you want.

And she'll feel awkward because then it really is.

She's like living with her.

Like her parents, you know, she's like kids.

That's the best piece of advice.

But write us back in June if he doesn't ask you to move in.

Yeah.

Because nothing in this world, nothing in this life is a given.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you've got to set ground rules so that like when you do those things, if she goes running to him, that he knew that you were going to do that.

Right.

Like, I only agreed to move in with you and you're, you know.

You know, I have a question for you.

They said, they said the word invalid in Carmere enthusiasm.

Is that a bad word?

So they did say that word.

Yeah.

And I don't think it's a kind word.

I don't think it's a word we can say, right?

I don't think it's a word you can just throw around.

Okay, so I was going to say, especially, like, you know,

on the podcast.

Yeah, okay, I was just double-checking.

It's not a word we are going to use.

It's like a

term.

But it's kind of like not a good one.

It's not nice.

Okay, that's okay.

Especially for someone who is just a sister living with their brother.

Yeah, no, I was trying to say, like,

whatever.

I just dug myself into a hole.

Yeah, no, like

she's just like living off of the lens.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's not cool and you should just be

bossy.

Yes, exactly.

And you know, your comfort is her discomfort.

So just make way.

That was beautiful.

Make way.

Your comfort is her discomfort.

And her comfort is yours.

So your discomfort.

So one of the things maybe the more discomfort, uncomfortable you make her feel, the more she'll want to leave.

Right.

So one of you is going to win.

And I think you could be you.

Definitely.

I'm on your side.

As long as they don't have like a weird brother-sister thing.

You never know.

And not even that they're like actually doing stuff, but like sometimes brothers and sisters are weird.

Yeah.

Well, that was dear to.

Well, have you met Teresa and Joe Jujiche?

Also, I don't know if you spoke about it.

Teresa's engaged.

We did speak about it.

Very happy for her.

Yes.

And Ben was very excited for her.

Really?

Yeah, he said he loves the women of New Jersey.

Jesse?

Yeah, because he just recently spoke to my sports party.

Yeah.

And he was very excited.

Very cool.

Okay.

Well, that was dear toasters.

If you ever want to write in, it's dear toasters at gmail.com.

And if you've written in recently and we've given you some bomb ass advice and you have an update for us, if things went well, if they didn't go well, please, we would love to hear from you.

Like, we would love to see how our proteges are doing out in the world, you know?

Dear toasters at gmail.com, that's our show.

Right?

That's all she wrote.

Pens down, everyone.

Pens down.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast and Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast fact stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Why don't you drop an emoji on our most recent Instagram to let us know that you're a true toaster?

What do we talk about today?

Something Italian.

Yeah, the Italian flag?

Sure.

The Italian flag.

To celebrate Claudia's homecoming.

Woohoo!

And the American one, if you're a proud American.

Bye, guys.

Love you.

See you tomorrow for Hump Day.

Oh, exciting.