S4 Ep105: Hey There Upper East Siders: Friday, June 11th, 2021

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Good morning, Millennials.

You know, when you're like

stuck in a stare.

In a stare.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

No.

Like when you're staring and like you can't stop.

Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

Like I think so, but I wouldn't feel that way right now when when we have such an exciting Friday show for you guys.

We're sitting here.

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

We're sitting here in blankets.

If you're watching on YouTube,

because it's so cold outside, but our building has, like, such strong AC, which when it's hot outside, it...

It's a delight.

It makes it still a little cold, but fine.

But with the cold outside, we're freezing in here.

So even though, like, I totally got all dressed up for the show today, like, jeans and everything, everything, um, it's a blanket sort of day.

We're just like so small and frail and cold.

We're just so cold and small.

Ooh, we're just like shivering because we're so little.

Um, question for you that I asked you earlier, and I didn't get a straight answer.

Are you hungover today?

Yes, I thought I made that explicitly.

I saw, I, we hadn't spoken.

I saw your Instagram story of some empty glasses.

Yeah, they were shh alcoholic beverages.

You were consuming alcoholic beverages.

Were you?

Don't tell my mom, but I was, and I had a good time.

And you know what?

I'd do it again.

So what'd you do last night?

Let me tell you, because I have a great story for you.

Great.

I went to England.

I did have a great story.

With my friend Jason.

For me.

I went to enjoy my friend Jason.

Two nights in a row with Abe.

Yes.

Must be confusing.

Jason and Abe are the same person.

Jason Abramson.

Everyone calls him Abe.

Like, never called him Jason in my life.

Like, if somebody said Jason, I'd be like, who?

Yeah.

So we had a lovely time and we drank.

And then Taylor's Trekker called me.

She was like out and she wanted to go to Marie's Crisis, but like she didn't have anyone to go with.

So I was like, of course I will come.

You know what Marie's crisis is, right?

Yes.

So I haven't been since before the pandemic.

And

literally there was a moment where you can't film, but like I was dying to because I was like, you needed to see this.

So like every now and then, you know, like a star comes in.

And I came.

I'm kidding.

And last night, first of all, you know who was there?

Remember Skye from the Politician?

Mm-hmm.

She like ran against.

Yeah, yeah, in high school.

She was there.

Yeah, I just thought it was like an anecdote.

And

I guess guess there were like some off-Broadway, Broadway people there because usually like everyone's just chilling and singing, but they had like a full-blown performance where people from different parts of the bar just like came, they had this arrangement of, when the sharpest words wanna cut me down.

And then there was all these harmonies, and the crowd, we were all only supposed to say,

oh,

and then like the singers were really singing, but we were all just like, oh, oh my God.

It was like Camtos.

Like it was so fun.

And it was like right when I got there, I just like stumbled in it was so fun But the only problem my only problem with that place is like for me at least it's same like when I do karaoke like the amount of fun I have is dependent on whether or not I know the songs and last night I feel like it was a really kind of off Broadway kind of night or like deep not like deep Broadway people who like know so many Broadway but that's what I think that's what I associate with Maurice Crisis like Broadway.

Yeah, of course, but like I when I say Broadway I don't think you're enough of a Broadway fan

to love Maurice Crisis all the time 100% like

so many songs from Little Shop of Horrors.

Like, I saw that play once a million years ago.

So many songs from musicals I had literally never heard of.

And I requested three songs.

One of them got played, which was fabulous.

Everyone like wading through a window to defying gravity.

Right.

And she used to be mine from Waitress.

That's a little fucking depressing.

She used to be.

By the way, the place.

That song is so sad.

No, no, but see, Marie's can't be brought down by like a song.

Like, everyone just gets excited about the song, you know?

I know, know, but like, that seems really like a low song.

And by the way, I don't know if you've watched Younger in a while, but they went to Maurice Crisis on Younger.

I didn't watch Younger on the other side.

I think it was this season or maybe last.

Also, the series finale of Younger aired this week.

I have not seen it.

I have not seen it either.

No.

Well, I'm glad that you had fun.

I did.

It was so nice to see Taylor Streker and so nice to be back in Marie's Crisis.

Like,

if you go...

It's cash only.

I wish somebody had reminded me of that before I left the house.

Yeah, also like have cash on you, generally speaking.

You usually need it.

For the most part, I always do.

I've, that's something that I've started doing, like, with age, like, and I've been doing for the last few years.

And you just sometimes you need cash and it's good to have it.

You don't want to be like, oh, I don't have cash.

Sorry, be that person.

Like, you want a tip or something?

Just like carry cash with you.

Yeah.

Get a bigger wallet.

Ever since I started gambling, I pretty much always have cash.

That's good.

Yeah.

That's really good.

That's why I gamble.

That's why you have cash.

No.

Because you gamble.

No, and I gamble because I need cash.

Because you have cash.

Yeah.

So that's what I did.

What did you do?

I had an early evening with Brew.

I was so tired yesterday.

So I was just like ready for the Kardashians finale.

And then I really wanted to power read my book because it's taking me too long to finish and I need to just get through it.

So I got to like 75%.

So hopefully I'll finish it tonight.

But it's just taking me way too long.

And I'm really excited to switch gears after I read this book because it's just...

I need to switch gears.

Gears are meant to be switched.

Yes.

So two very different evenings.

But I did watch The Kardashians this morning.

Oh, nice.

And I know

it was some of the worst episode I've ever seen.

What?

It was so goddamn boring.

Well, that's crazy because, like, maybe you watched, like, half.

I watched it.

I was fully invested.

No, so I watched this morning, and honestly, like, I was about to say, like, I was more invested.

and more enthralled.

And I got choked up, but at the time,

maybe because you were, like, hungover.

Drunk.

Yeah, and like, I always cry when I'm hungover, either from laughing or being sad.

Yeah, your emotions are just heightened.

Yeah, like, I literally saw this clip of Wheel of Fortune from last night like 10 minutes ago and I almost cried.

It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, so that's a good way to watch Kardashians.

I was just like, I think the season ended the way it's been going for a while, which was just long and drawn out.

There were some interesting conversations, but there were also such dumb ones, like Kendall and Kylie sitting down to talk about how the show ending makes them feel.

And it's like, you could just like, Chris is behind the camera with a gun, making them have this conversation.

100%.

And again, it's like, we don't know what it's like to not have the show.

Like, what about the last seven years of your lives?

Are you guys going on it?

You guys don't even do the show.

So, like, shut up.

Yeah, it was just, it felt really silly.

Obviously, I was glad for that Kim and Chris conversation, which was so honest, or at least as honest as we're going to get from her.

No, I know.

No, this is just the

foreplay for it.

It's like, I haven't even gotten into it because we'll get into the conversation.

Just talking about the conversation.

Yeah.

And so, yeah, that was really my evening.

Brew is doing so well.

I know everyone.

Feeling well.

Feeling well, being well.

He's just so funny.

He's always cracking me up.

And I know everyone always wants little brew updates.

Brew update.

That's what's new with brew.

And that's what you missed on brew.

That's what you missed on

do.

And Theo's here.

And honestly, I've been having like a renaissance with Theo these last couple days.

I'm fucking obsessed with him.

Good, as you should be.

Are you gonna give him your breast milk?

Oh, you want a little breast milk?

Come here.

No!

No!

Get the camera off her!

Get the camera off!

You want some breast milk, my tigger!

Who's my little tiggy boy?

I love you so.

You hungry?

Okay, it's safe.

It's safe to watch.

Oh, look, he knows the word hungry.

He's like, oh, God.

He's like, I'm fucked.

Two breakfast tigs?

Two breakfast tits.

Breast milk.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

No, I think that

it's just one of those days, you know?

I think this pimple on my cranium has officially gone to my head because.

It's gone to your brain.

okay over the last few days and jackie's like really the only one who could see it because it's on this side of my face thank you everyone to see it like do you want to just turn no i'm not proud of it okay um it's been growing and growing and like it obviously it has planted roots in my skin like it's deep and big and monstrous but it hasn't come to a head yet so i've been trying to be patient to wait to pop it but of course like last night i just sat in front of my mirror and went at it with my fingers and this like toolkit set that i got from amazon it has like a little scalpel so i made like a little hole and then it has all these extractors.

And now the pimple, of course, didn't pop, first of all.

And second of all, is three times bigger, three times brighter, three times redder, three times stronger.

And Jackie's the one who's forced to look at it.

It's in a pretty good spot for a pimple.

And also your mic stand is kind of blocking it for me.

Pretty good.

Yeah.

Also, I just wish you hadn't done all those things.

Of course.

Because you made it so much worse.

And you think I'd learn my lesson, but I literally guarantee you next time this happens.

No, you live for popping pimps.

I think you like getting them, so you can pop them.

I wish that I would have waited because it would have have been such a good pimple to pop, but like I literally couldn't.

It was like, it's been three days already.

You know what they say?

Good things come to those who wait, and that's not you.

And girls who don't wait get scars on their face, and that's literally me.

Yeah.

Damn, I'm sorry.

Very upsetting.

Well, I think without further ado, did it do, so we can release you.

I feel like the teacher, and this is the classrooming, you know, the sooner we get into today's lesson, the sooner you guys can head out to your fabulous weekend.

So without further ado, did it do to do, where are you?

Right here, so cute.

Love him.

Love to see it.

Here are the past five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast

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Are you okay?

I don't know why.

I'm like having uncontrollable laughter, but I'm okay.

Is something in particular making you laugh?

It's like something in my brain that I don't want to share.

Is it your pimple in your brain?

No.

Is it my pimple for you?

I can't even see it.

You're the one talking to me.

I just reference a joke.

Like, so much of joking is referencing previous things.

To reference or not reference, throw up, put it in a blend.

I chose to reference, and now I regret it.

First story, big bab news.

Literally, it's a big babet.

Nine pounds.

Chris Lane and Lauren Bushnell Lane welcome baby son Dutton Walker

into their lives.

What a weird headline.

Dutton Walker Lane is a country star.

Dutton Walker Lane is the biggest country star of all all time, actually.

He's selling out stadiums already.

The kid was nine pounds.

Lauren Lane is literally the smallest person ever.

Like, I don't know how she gave birth to a nine-pound watermelon, but

we love to see it.

We love to see it.

I'm so happy for her.

Like, I could do a whole analysis on how her journey after The Bachelor is, like, so stunning in so many ways,

but I won't, but I could.

Back to being cold.

No, I totally agree.

I feel like also, and I'm sure she felt this way more than anyone.

She felt like she was pregnant for so long.

And I feel like even watching her her stories the past few days She was trying to like induce labor I feel like that I've been watching a lot of that apparently like spicy food induces labor because also

Lauren Leindike is super pregnant and they're trying like I she might even have given birth at this point Well, if you ever would watch Friends, there's an episode on Rachel like literally the baby won't come out of her

and the best thing to do you can try all these different things like eating spicy foods like herbal teas castor oil But the really most effective way to induce childbirth is having sex

So that was like a whole premise of an episode because Rachel and Ross weren't together, but she wanted the baby out so bad, so she was like, begging Ross to fuck her, and he was like, no, and then they finally started to fuck.

Oh, and the baby came out.

That makes sense.

I guess all these Instagrammers who are like showing how they induce labor aren't going to show us them having sex.

Yeah, that's too bad.

But,

by the way.

You know what I really like?

It came to me.

And you guys, everybody wanted us to talk slower.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do you really like?

I

really.

I like how she had the baby and posted it on Instagram.

And like, that's it.

Like, people with these, like, you know, announcements, did she, didn't she?

No, like, literally, Lauren was off Instagram for 12 hours.

Why?

Oh, she had a baby.

Here's a picture of all three of them.

Yep.

Like, sometimes, like, simplest,

sometimes simplicity is so simple and perfect.

I agree.

And this is some beautiful news.

I really love the name.

Reminds me, obviously, of Yellowstone.

I'm not sure.

Like,

that was a source of inspiration.

And they, like, love Yellowstone, I heard.

So I actually think it might have been, which is cute.

Which is cute.

That's like you naming your child Brie

from Desperate Housewives.

Yeah.

It's not as iconic as like

Yellowstone.

But it's referencing.

Dutton.

Because like Dutton is everything.

And I'm sure they could get so much cool merch from like the show.

That's really cool.

Oh, wait.

Is Dutton the family's last name?

The family's last name.

John Dutton.

Beth Dutton.

Yeah, that sounds familiar.

Jamie Dutton.

That Beth Dutton was a real pain in the ass those few episodes I watched.

I know, but you have to, that's why you have to power through.

Girl, you're rich.

Smile once in a while.

That's why you have to power through, because she's everything of the sort.

Is she?

Yeah.

I did not get EOTS 5.

No, I know, because, like, it's called character development.

Speaking of character development and amazing show ideas, Ted, the series adaptation, is set at Peacock from Seth McFarlane.

I feel like this is a personal gift.

I feel like nobody cares about this but us.

From Peacock to us.

Yeah, and I need other people to start caring.

Yeah, no, I think that people do care.

Everybody loves Ted.

A lot of that, it just gets to talk about.

Everybody loves Ted 1.

It just doesn't get talked about enough.

No, people like Ted 2 more than we do.

I thought Ted 2 was hysterical.

I just don't like the premise of Ted 2 because there's no reason why Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis should have broken up.

They were OTP.

Agreed.

Did they get back together at the end of movie two?

Of Ted 2?

Yeah.

No, was she not even in it?

They just, she wasn't in it.

Oh my God, Amanda Seafried.

That was so weird.

It just doesn't make sense to me.

So I can't get on board.

Yeah, because they really were like OTP, and it shouldn't have even been about them, the second movie.

Like, that was like a really random plot twist and unnecessary one.

Yeah.

Like, if you couldn't get her to do the movie, then maybe pretend she's on a work trip the whole time or something, but don't have Mark fall in love with someone else.

Right.

Anyways, a live action series adaptation, live action of, oh, right.

Wait, so live action, like it'll be.

Will we get a real bear?

Yeah, right.

No, I think it's still a teddy bear.

Like, because even the movie is a little bit more.

Because the movie is live action.

Yes, we have real real people.

You know, one time I met the real Ted.

I know.

And why didn't you kidnap him like that guy?

Fresh kids.

I think we're alone now.

I don't know.

I really should have, but it's in my friend's bedroom, the OG Ted.

It was gifted to Seth McFarlane from Seth McFarland.

And honestly, I've never been so jealous.

Like, I've never coveted.

I don't really, like, look at other people and I'm like, actually, that's a lie.

But I've been jealous of a lot of people, like everything they have.

But this Ted

died.

It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen.

That would, to me, be like a celebrity I would love to meet.

No, and

I actually can't think about Ted for too long because then I remember that Ted doesn't exist.

It's like a fictional character, and like that makes me really upset.

But then it makes me happy to know that he exists in Seth McFarlane's brain.

Yeah.

And that there's someone out there just creating such hysterical stuff.

Seth McFarlane is really like a talent.

I feel like we talk about him every once in a while on the show.

He reminds me of Elon Musk a little bit.

Jackie.

100%.

I feel feel like they would get along.

Similar energy.

And they kind of look alike.

I also think they're both geniuses.

In their own respective fields.

Yeah.

That's such a good call.

I think they should become friends.

I think they should too.

I feel like we should watch that other Seth McFarlane show, the one on the spaceship.

The Orville?

Orville?

Orville.

Yeah.

Okay, but I actually heard it's really good.

I don't know why we don't watch it.

But what we want to see-fucking reading

story.

It's on the sci-fi network.

Like, I don't even think I have that channel.

Yeah, that's true.

A live-action series adaptation of the TED movies has been ordered straight to series that Peacock Variety Has Learned.

Seth McFarlane is currently in negotiations to reprise the voice role of Ted, a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking teddy bear brought to life by the magic of a little boy's wish.

Oh my God, by the way.

And I think in the story that I read, there's no confirmation about whether Mark Wahlberg will be involved at all.

And honestly, like, I don't need him.

Like, I need a Ted reality show.

I need a Ted docu series.

I just need Ted.

I just need Ted McFarlane and the bear.

I totally agree.

Like, Ted on his own.

Like, Ted goes on, like, a spiritual journey, whatever it is.

Right.

I just need Ted Travel Travel Travel True.

Ted Travels First Class.

Ted Travels Coach.

Ted Talk.

Yeah.

Like, I just need,

I'm so excited.

I haven't, like, heard much of anything that has made me excited for Peacock except for that Housewives All-Stars thing.

But this is...

a big notch in the peacock belt.

Yes, definitely.

You don't even know if I have Peacock.

You do.

That's where you watch

stuff.

You have Peacock for sure.

Because you were always saying,

like, if you ever watch old Bravo shows, you did that one weekend.

Yeah, I watched NYC Prep.

Yeah, that's where you watch it.

That's where I left it.

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Love it.

Thank you for that interlude.

Next up, the Gossip Girl Trailer reveals a new threat to elite New York City students.

Okay, a trailer for the racy HBL Max Gossip Girl reboot sees the elite students at Manhattan's Constant Billard School for Girls and St.

Jude's School for Boys targeted by a mysterious stalker, this time through social media.

Did you miss me?

I know I've missed you, the narrator voiced by Kristen Bell, says, as several,

yes, again, says as several of the new cast stare at their phones, then they are then warned by a teacher about Gossip Girl, an anonymous Instagram account that spies on our students.

Is it Girl with a Secret?

It's Girl with a Secret.

Okay, I watched the trailer.

I just want to say my overall impression was that it looks very good, very Gen Z, like very of the times of what the high school kids are doing now.

Okay, I have to say, when I heard about this reboot, I thought it was the luzuriest thing ever.

Like, let sleeping motherfucking dogs lie.

Like, write your own show.

After the trailer, I was like, this show's amazing.

It looks so good.

It looks very, very good.

My only concern after reading this story is like, okay, so Gossip Girl is Kristen Bell again with the same voice.

And that actually makes it nice for continuity.

But that would mean that, like, gossip girl is now what?

Like, well, first of all, gossip girl is Dan Humphrey.

Yeah, well, spoiler alert.

And she'd be about 35 now, like, spying on high school students.

Predator.

Predator.

Gossip Girl's a Predator.

They should have actually, for the sake of this making sense and not being beyond creepy, they should have gotten a new voice.

No, honestly, because at the end of the day, in the Gossip Girl series, like the voice didn't even matter because the voice was a woman and gossip girl was a man.

Like, it's so stupid.

So the voice didn't even matter.

It was just like a narration tool.

Yeah, but like this, but.

Yeah, it's not like

Gossip Girl was sending voicemails to people with that voice.

It's just for the show.

I understand, but it's it is it seems weird to me that the same person that was like coming for Blair is now coming for these new kids.

Like, it's not the same person.

It's a 40-year-old man in his basement.

It's not the same person.

Sam Humphrey.

It's not the same person.

It's not the same person.

It's good for the economy.

Gossip Girl is good for the economy.

Also,

I feel like a job that I wish I got was the voice of a gossip girl.

I read somewhere that, like, your vocal fry is just off the charts for that.

I'm so hurt.

Oh my god.

Like, no offense.

Hit me where it hurts.

My voice.

Watch this.

Watch this.

Who are you saying?

Give me a gossip girl script, and we're going to have a gossip girl off.

This is what you're going to say, okay?

You're going to say, did you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

That's it.

Oh, don't look away.

Every day.

You're Damien.

Back to us.

You're Damian.

What was lining up?

Did you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

Okay, let me clear my throat.

And then you're doing it next, and we're going to see who's better.

I never said I wanted the job, but okay.

and I never said I didn't also have vocal fry, but okay.

What is it?

Did you

see you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

Okay, Dolan, come in.

Okay, Damien.

Okay.

What's the one?

Okay.

I'm nervous.

Okay.

Okay.

Did you miss

Amazing.

She got the part.

Didn't we do it?

Did you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

That was pretty good.

It was a little Louis on camera.

Let me try it again.

You started strong.

Oh, you liked the beginning?

I liked the beginning.

I missed you.

Did you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

I felt the cabaret coming out of me.

You go.

Okay.

It's not going to.

Actually, I mean, make a door.

Have faith in yourself.

I just need to think.

WWDD, what would Dan Humphrey do?

Whoa, okay.

I'm just gonna go for it.

I'm gonna rave off the van.

It's very intimidating.

Like, you did this to us.

No, I know.

But I feel like I'm better off for it, so go.

Okay, I just, okay, fine.

Did you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

Shit, that was really good.

I think, who do you think gets the job?

I think Jackie, probably.

Let me just do it one more time.

Okay.

Hey, there, Upper East Siders.

Yeah, I don't like that line.

Okay, hey, add hey there, Upper East Siders.

Did you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

Hey there, Upper East Siders.

Did you miss me?

I know I missed you.

That's pretty good.

That was tough.

That was a good hay there.

That was good.

Do you want me to go or can we move on again?

Oh, I'm having fun, but if you're not.

Oh, no, you know, I hate being put on the spot.

Like, literally.

Okay.

WWKMD.

What would Kim Possible do?

KPD.

It's hey there, Upper East Siders.

Yeah.

Hey there, Upper East Siders.

Did you miss me?

I know I missed you.

I don't know why I'm doing facial expressions.

Yeah, I know you just go like this.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

That was good.

Okay.

We need to move on.

Kristen Bell got the part.

You and I did not.

Very sad.

So sad.

Are you going to watch?

What do you think?

Overall thoughts?

I mean, like, there's so many things I'm going to watch that I don't end up watching.

So am I running the second this drops at midnight Pacific time?

No.

Uh, if I get bored enough, I'll probably watch it.

I like watching shows that are filmed in New York.

I'm always like, oh, I've been there, I've stood on that corner.

It just makes them interesting and fun.

So, if it's if it's popping off and people are like talking about it, I'll probably watch it.

I think I'm gonna wind up watching it.

I think it's gonna pop off based on this trailer.

Also, Thomas Doherty is in it.

He's from Descendants, and I'm not sure if they're still dating, but he was dating Dove Cameron.

That's Dove Cameron's man.

He actually seems like perfect for the show.

He's very like Chuck Bass energy.

I literally read an article yesterday about Dove Cameron.

Talking about her ex-fiancé.

Is that this guy?

Oh, okay.

No, no, no.

She was engaged like when she was very young before Thomas.

Got it.

And I never heard that her and Thomas broke up.

Okay.

But I do need to consult with the Smitch and find out.

She's our Dove Cameron correspondent.

She is.

DCC.

Anyways, I'm glad he got another role and he seems to blend perfectly with the cast.

The cast of stunning people.

Yeah.

I think it's going to be really good.

I'm feeling optimistic.

Me too.

Next up, a little in What the Kids Are Up To News, and Claudia is going to have to explain some of it.

Austin McBroom and Bryce Hall will fight in Miami, drawing influencers in droves.

Now it's time for the social media stars to run amok in Miami.

We're told people are already starting to arrive for a bizarre event that will see TikTok stars fist fighting with YouTubers.

Organizers are expecting a slew of influencers with more than a billion followers between them at the Hard Rock Hotel for the social gloves, battle of the platforms, boxing tournaments.

Oh my god, Saturday night.

That's what it's officially being called, social gloves battle of the platforms.

So I guess it's TikTok versus YouTube.

Which one's the talker?

Bryce Hall, I believe, is the talker, and also McBroom is the YouTuber.

And honestly, this is so unbelievably losery.

Like the fact that Addison Rae is directly linked to this person who's participating in this tomfoolery of a circus and she also is friends with Courtney Kardashian and has been on Keeping Up, Like, that's unacceptable behavior.

Addison and Bryce still together?

No.

Oh, okay, that's good.

But they're expecting, people who are expected to go to the

to the fight.

Trey Songs, Charlie and Dixie D'Amilio, Aden Ross, Julia Rose, Chelsea Briggs, Jeffree Star, Lil Yachty, Chase Hudson.

Is that Lil Hottie?

Lil Hootie, yeah.

Noah Beck, and Jordan Jones.

What the heck?

I understand why you think this is losery, but this is like a new trend where like because there's not a lot of entertainment right now, like, people are just fighting for

views.

Yeah, no, I think this is like people taking after Jake Paul and Logan Paul thinking that like that's in their future.

But I just like they've been doing a lot of press around this.

There was a press conference, and of course, like they got into a fight, Austin and Bryce.

And like, Bryce Hall is like the definition, truly, at his core.

If you look up in the dictionary the word

loser, you will find a picture of Bryce Hall.

He's such a loser.

And I can't wait for him to lose.

And I'm Team Austin McBroom.

You are.

We team Bryce out here.

Even the paparazzi team Bryce.

On God.

That is this trend.

You have to watch this video.

Tana went to the press conference.

You have to send it to me.

Okay.

Tana Mojo went to the press conference.

And after the press conference, she was like being paparazzied outside.

And they were asking her like what she thought of the fight in the press conference.

And she just like responded so weird.

And people are like, why are you talking like that?

And it's become a trend on TikTok to imitate it.

Tana changed all of her bios, even the paparazzi team Bryce, on God.

She goes like this.

You're the...

Is this when she was wearing the Fendi outfit?

No, she was wearing...

Also, the outfit's weird too.

So like when people are recreating it, she's wearing a shirt.

It's like a crop top knit shirt that also comes with like little glove knit.

It's so bizarre.

Sounds so cute.

So everyone on TikTok is like putting socks on their arms to like pretend to be our gloves.

That's funny.

And so she's like, we team Bryce out here.

Even the paparazzi team Bryce.

On God.

And then she turns around and like the way she's talking is so weird.

It's my I've been saying it every time I and she's talking about this fight, even the paparazzi team Bryce.

Yeah, I bet you're not.

No, no, no, no, even though I love TikTok, so like Battle of the Platforms, I can't believe we're talking about this, it's so losery.

Battle of the Platforms, like I choose TikTok, but Battle of These Two People, I choose the smaller loser.

Very cool, got it.

Well, there's also supposed to be performances by DJ Khaled, Migos, and Lil Baby.

DJ Khaled has to stop,

all of it.

He can't stop, and he Honestly.

Honestly,

as a platform, Snapchat should be taken down from the app store just because of the monster they made out of TJ Khaled.

Like, I'm kind of, like, over him and his, like, fucking chaotic energy and his toxicity.

I like his energy.

I don't.

Oh, I'm sorry.

So I guess you won't be watching?

Oh, I will definitely be watching.

I want to watch.

I kind of like these

fights, these gatherings and get-togethers.

It brings people together.

Like, I'm I'm not even into the sport per se.

I'm not even into these people, but like, just to you know, see the people in the crowds.

Like, I'm here for it.

There's not that much else going on right now.

No, I agree.

I've actually,

since watching that Logan Paul fight and then I watched the Jake one before, like, I love it.

It's like everyone's watching the same thing.

And you guys have been a part of something.

Yeah, which is what you know, we love.

Which is what we're craving.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story that's going to lead into our TV recap?

It's the final story.

Ooh, give us like a stripped-down version.

You're like a possessed music teacher.

Ned Schneider.

No, like not Ned Schnee because his energy is like the

intense one.

You're like the music teacher.

Yeah.

He's very in touch with her feelings.

i think that if life worked out differently for me i would teach music like to like annoying kids yeah and you would be like very in touch with your feelings and also like very brutally honest yeah and also in charge of the spring musical

you would be in charge of the spring musical i just want to let you know i'm hanging on by a thread okay so maybe it's time to get into the fifth and final i'm just letting you know like i might need to lay down to my left briefly but go well no if you need to lay down put your head to where your mic is still there so you can still talk That's a good idea.

Yeah, just, yeah.

You have four pillows.

You have four pillows, so maybe you could use one for your head.

Nah.

Okay, fifth and final story.

Kanye has unfollowed.

Kanye has unfollowed Kim and her sisters on Twitter.

I saw this.

I'm so sad.

Kanye is no longer keeping up with the Kardashians.

The rapper recently unfollowed his estranged wife, Kim, and all of her sisters on Twitter, though it's unclear if he made the move before or after all of their birthday tributes to him earlier this week.

Like, doesn't someone track this stuff?

Can't we find out?

But does he still follow her on Instagram?

She's the only person he follows.

Wes still follows only one person on Instagram, and that's Kim, the mother of his children.

I'm so sad.

I just want to quickly check Kanye's Twitter and just make sure he still follows people.

Right, like he didn't go from 300 to zero.

And including his sister.

Or did he just go from 300 to 290?

Okay, he follows 218.

Okay, so that's pretty, um, that's pretty intentional.

Pretty, pretty,

intentional.

Pretty intentional.

Okay, let's talk about keeping up with the Kardashians.

Is there something that you need to say before we do?

Oh, there is.

Thank you for reminding me.

Hold on.

Oh, my God.

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Are you okay?

No, I'm going to be in my sleep.

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I also realized when I was laying down that everyone could see my pimple, so I had to readjust.

Oh, damn.

That's a real DeAndre's choice

to sit up or to expose your pimple.

I think,

oh man, I'm literally about to throw up.

Or to throw up.

So, keeping up with the Kardashians, I'm like really surprised that you didn't like it because I thought it was such a nice episode.

Like,

first of all, if I don't find out what these things are.

If I don't find out what these things are.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, Courtney's things that need to happen in order for her to get her and Scott to get back together.

What are these things?

I hate speaking in such vague terms.

Like, just say it.

What are the things?

what do you think let's say what do you think the things are i feel like it has to do with his sobriety yeah maybe it needs to get down to zero drug and alcohol usage fully sober while scott is probably california sober yes no i'm sure that scott drinks alcohol like i don't think he's drinking in the way that he used to but i think for courtney she needs zero yeah

He can't commit to that lifestyle, but maybe he's just waiting to get to a place in his life like where he can and then he'll finally be with Courtney, but like maybe she might fall in love before that which

it seems like she has I don't think they're meant to be together I really really don't I was like I never really feel them as a couple and honestly I hate that storyline like get something new to talk about but last night I was kind of like just give it a chance you know what when she put her smooch shirt in the time capsule I was wishing that she named her website Smooch instead of Poosh.

That's a really good thing.

I think that would have been really cute and like a cute homage to like where she started.

And I love when I actually really liked her little bit and she was like, I'll never forget like where I came from and I thought it was really nice.

I liked it too.

And also

she folded that shirt really well.

She did fold that shirt really well.

The other monumental things in the episode were that Chloe apparently moved to Boston, but like, did that ever happen?

I think she moved for the season.

They made me really want to go to Zuma.

I passed it this morning and I was like, damn, I'm hungry.

I went to Zuma like a few times and every time I hated it.

Really?

It's like a fobu.

It is, but what's not to like?

Like, it's just bad.

Oh, I think it's good.

Oh, I would love.

When I passed Zuma, they had all these like signs in the window saying that, like, you can order.

They're delivering.

That might be my lunch today.

Oh, that sounds nice.

Yeah, thanks, Chloe.

Always influence.

So I guess she did move to Boston?

I don't remember her ever living there list last year.

Well, I mean, I feel like their content isn't, you know, she's not in the moment posting everything.

I just feel like we would know if Chloe was living in Boston.

Well, this is

the season.

The season's ending now.

Are the Celtics in the playoffs?

I haven't seen them in my journey.

I haven't heard about them

in the the background of exact sports shows.

I don't think that they are.

Okay, cool.

So, hopefully, they're back in LA.

I'm glad they got the deeds back to their house.

Yes.

We got that storyline, and then, like,

oh, we got the deeds back.

Like, how?

Yeah.

They are in the playoffs, if I think you.

So, Chloe's still in Boston.

Well, or wherever the hell they're playing.

Yeah.

The trip was really nice.

I actually think the idea of the time capsule was sweet, and I liked that game that they played where they had to act out like random scenes from agreed.

I thought it it was cute.

I just like kind of realized, first of all, like, and I think we've all known this, like, Kendall gives me nothing.

Like, literally nothing.

And I think last night's episode was probably the hardest she's ever tried to give something in the last like couple years.

And I think she gave less than normal.

Like, she's so blah.

Yeah.

And it's like, thank God she's like the most stunning woman in the world because she's so boring.

Yeah.

When her and Kylie were having that conversation and they were exchanging gifts, I was like,

they both, sorry, I love Kylie.

Boring.

Yeah.

Boring.

It was boring.

I'm glad that they at least tried, though.

Like, that was something.

Would have been nice to see Rob.

I didn't realize he was gone until Chloe said everyone but Rob.

I see her.

I was like, all right.

Oh, Rob, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you also see like a page six article?

They gifted like the crew that's been with them since day one, like over $300,000 worth of Rolexes.

Oh, no, I didn't see that.

That's so nice.

The group hugs at the end and the fireworks were really sweet.

Yeah, no, but you know what?

They dragged it out so much that I'm actually glad it's over.

Yeah.

What's that phrase?

Don't be sad it's over.

Smile that it happened.

And I'm smiling.

Yeah, I did like how when they were doing the time capsule, they had side-by-sides, like very real housewives finale.

Side-by-sides of like where they started on the show and where they ended.

What I wanted to see was I wanted to see a side-by-side of their first confessional look versus their last one.

That's a good call.

Because that would have been really telling.

Yeah.

Of course, how they look, but also the backgrounds and the like where are they the jewelry the styling everything i wish that that's what we saw not even like just the confessionals because you know i'm sure episode one they went to their confessionals looking and feeling their best i also think

that they should i should have went to dash at some point this season yeah i forgot about dash and i really forgot about smooch yeah me too they should go back They should go back.

It's just

so crazy.

I think what I learned from last night's episode, and I had a little bit of an inkling about this, but I think that Chris is the best Jenner/slash Kardashian.

I think a lot of people feel that way.

Why?

What did she do that made you feel that way?

She just like makes you laugh, and then she also makes you cry.

Like, she's so funny.

She gives it all to the show.

She really does.

She really, really does.

And she's like in such a stable relationship.

I'm obsessed with Corey Gamble.

Like, I literally want to steal him from Chris if I weren't so happy for them.

Yeah.

And I just feel like it's not really spoken about enough how Chris Jenner

is the best one.

I feel like recently it is spoken about.

Like, everyone, it's like, who's your favorite Kardashian?

And people are like, Chris.

I really do feel like she's gotten her

like I feel

like following like Chris Jenner paparazzi accounts.

Like, I'm like obsessed with her look and like her whole life.

Like, when I grow up, I literally want to be Chris Jenner.

No, it's amazing, like, what she's created and like the family and what she's been through.

Yeah, people forget she is OG Hollywood, Nicole Brown Simpson.

O-G-O-J.

She is O-G-O-J.

Did she testify?

I don't know.

She did something.

I can't remember from the American show.

From the show, yeah.

Yeah.

Whatever.

She was like an interwar part.

She was really good friends with Nicole Brown Simpson.

And like, she's just lived so many lives, and I'm just obsessed.

Like, that was my.

That was your takeaway?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so the only other thing that was interesting was Kim and Chris's conversation, wherein she did her best to explain why they are splitting up.

And she failed the baby bar, as predicted by me.

And she failed the baby bar.

I was was really shocked about that.

Like, oh my god, do you think she's gonna, like, she is, actually, she is studying again because she's been posting stuff.

Um, and she said the next test is in June, and we just started June.

If she, I hope, really hope she passes, but like, at what point do you, are you like, I can't?

Do you give up?

Yeah, I don't know.

And it's not even the bar, it's the baby bar.

No, but the baby bar, like, makes it so that you don't have to do

like, that's the bar.

Apparently, it's harder.

No, no, the baby bar.

Yeah, because she's not in law school.

She's in this internship.

Yeah, you think?

Yeah.

And I wonder how many times you can fail it before, like, you're not eligible anymore.

Because no offense, like, if I

go to jail and I get, like, a public defender who failed the bar 11 times, I think I'd just rather represent myself.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you would.

Yeah.

Your honor.

I think you please.

I didn't do anything.

Even if you had, like, a rock star lawyer, you'd still want to defend yourself.

No, I just, I don't know how the hardest part, I mean, I've never been arraigned or anything, but I imagine it's difficult to hear all these people like talking about you and things you did and like you can't even respond.

Yeah, for sure.

Very upsetting.

So that's that on that.

It's our final keeping up with the Kardashians recap.

No reunion.

Reunion.

I haven't said part one.

I'm so excited.

So there's possibly two or three.

I'm so excited for that.

I'm excited for Hulu.

I'm excited to get more deets.

And I'm glad that this chapter's over.

I personally really like change, so I'm excited to see what's next.

I'm so excited about the reunion.

I forgot I'm with it just brightened my whole day.

You're welcome.

Okay, well, that's all I have to really contribute to society today.

I'm sorry I wasn't my my best, but I think we should just, like, at a glance, look at the wonderful week we've had.

I feel like this is one of my most productive weeks.

Yeah, we had so many fabulous episodes.

Our episodes were just like literally killing it in the charts.

Like, we're just

killing it.

So, I'm just patting myself on the back.

Great week, everyone.

Great work.

Enjoy your weekend.

Reminder, we're not here on Monday, but there is a Patreon episode coming out.

So, if you need a podcast to listen to Monday morning, we got you covered.

We're back in studio on Tuesday.

Yes, that's so exciting.

Three-day weekend for us, and we hope you guys have an amazing weekend.

Thank you so much for listening to our show, the Millennium Morning Show, where we go live.

Not anymore.

We used to go live, and now we don't go live.

Okay, thank you so much for watching the morning show.

Tuesday, Friday, around roughly 10.30 Eastern Time, depends on the day.

We are on the YouTube, the podcast app, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, Publoc Radio,

Pasco.

I love Publix

places.

And in all of those places, I'm sure you are capable of leaving a review of some sort.

So please leave us a five-star review if you genuinely enjoy the show and it contributes to a positive moment in your day.

We would love to hear from you if you have positive feedback to share.

And if you don't, you can quietly shut the fuck up.

It's just, if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

It's a very simple, simple policy.

So that's all.

If you have nothing nice to say, join a former Toaster Facer group.

If you have nothing nice to say, you're not alone.

If you have nothing nice to say, honestly, I I kind of understand.

No, stop.

If you have nothing nice to say, then like, that's really fucking funny.

No, then seriously, like, go fuck yourself.

You're fucking hurtful, okay?

Seriously, like, I hate you.

Okay.

You're disgusting and crusty.

If you have nothing nice to say, then why did you watch for this long in the episode?

Yeah, if you're here, I think you actually have a nice thing to say.

So maybe we shouldn't harp.

We shouldn't harp.

If you have something nice to say, go tell someone something nice, okay?

What?

Like, nothing.

You messed it up.

Okay.

Okay.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Oh, bye.